#i think its just because he really has to do everything on his own now

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

Viktor... - Viktor x reader

Arcane Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Words: ~1100 TW: none

"Viktor!" you shouted, but the man never seemed to even consider stopping. "Viktor, wait!" Your desperation was growing stronger with every step, tears slowly blurring your vision.

Was this what he wanted? To disappear? Leaving you behind like you were nothing?

"Did I do something wrong?" your voice echoed as the man you once loved turned away, the dark cloak gracefully falling onto his new body. He wouldn't have even stopped to look at you if it wasn't for Jayce to tell you he was leaving. His body froze, his mind racing with the new sensations he felt. He slowly turned, strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

"No! I have to…" the hurt in his voice obvious. "I'm not…" he hesitated, not sure what to say next. Was he even alive? Was he even human? "I don't even know what I am anymore…"

You cautiously stepped towards him, taking in his features. He was suffering before, you knew that. He lost a lot of weight in the past years… His sickness was getting stronger, day by day, but now… Now he was standing in front of you, on his own legs. Now he was standing taller, the weakness you once saw in him gone.

Your hand pressed against his cheek, but he wasn't met with the warmth he once felt - it was something unusual. Peaceful, but not in a way he was able to understand. It was electrical, mechanical, not human-like. It was like a fire started underneath your palm, but it didn't hurt. His hand hesitantly touched yours, something that resembled a heartbeat seemingly getting stronger. Was it still his heart?

"I know what you are…" you said, the familiar brown eyes looking at you, their softness ever so unchanged.

"I killed Sky…" his voice trembled slightly, your heart skipping a beat. You were the first he ran to when this happened. The first to know everything he never let anyone know. You were the first to see him for who he really was. And now, thinking that you might be afraid of him, it made his body ache in unpleasant, strange ways. "I am murderer…" he eventually continued, his words quieter than they were in those many nights you spent together, hoping not to wake up anyone.

You just now realised the roughness of this new "skin", the coldness in it, a contrast to his gentle touches. Different from the way he used to worship you any chance he got. You were his only reason to continue fighting. His only reason to continue his research - because maybe, one day, your lives will be better. But the roughness was just on the surface... somehow, you could still feel the warmth. The kindness in his soul was as it always has been - unparalleled.

"No…" You softly said, cupping his cheeks. The touch sent a wave of energy coursing through him, not with the intensity of a shock, but with a steady, unyielding pull that reminded him of life itself. It felt like a promise, something soft yet grounding, pulling him back from the edge of despair. “You’re my Viktor…” The words hung in the air between you, their weight settling in the space around you both. Viktor didn’t move at first.

His eyes stayed locked on yours, searching for any trace of doubt, any sign that you might be lying. For a long moment, neither of you spoke. His breath came slower, almost as if he was afraid to exhale, fearful that the fragile connection you had could shatter with a single movement.

Viktor’s forehead found its peace against yours, just as it always did. But this time, there was a tremble in his touch, a hesitant pause before his lips parted to speak again. The gentle pulse of your shared breath seemed to reverberate through your bodies, and for a moment, the world outside of this fragile moment disappeared. You could feel the echo of his heartbeat, faint and distant, but still there, somehow keeping him tethered to you. "And nothing could make me not want to follow you until the end of the time…"

A small smile crept on his face, your words seemingly reassuring him, even if just a little, that maybe he was not as inhuman as he thought he was. "I can't ask you to follow me…" he told you, knowing that it would perhaps mean the end of your life. Knowing that it might bring you more pain than his disappearance would have.

"Of course you don't…" you chuckled. "But I will anyway. I always did as I pleased, right?" the sound of his soft laugh made your heart jump, your ears enlightened as you heard it.

His fingers intertwined with yours, the whole world becoming silent, almost nonexistent. In the stillness of the moment, this touch was a silent understanding, a bond that spoke louder than words ever could. Your souls were connected once again, just as they were always meant to be. Fighting to find each other, fighting to find peace once again and now… fulfilled that they were finally reunited.

"It's not gonna be easy…" he warned, pressing a light kiss on your temple before he moved away, the coldness of his absence making you shiver.

"It's never been… But we managed…"

He smiled and all of the stimulus he felt stopped. Something similar to peace conquered his form now. Something stronger than whatever the Hexcore was doing to him.

You pressed his hand against your chest, the vibrations of your heartbeat resonating through him. You could see his mouth slightly opening in fascination at the intensity of his senses.

"Can you feel it?" you asked. "Can you feel it beating under your touch?"

Viktor’s fingers tightened around your wrist, as if afraid to let go. For a moment, he said nothing. His chest rose and fell in uneven breaths, a mix of disbelief and awe flickering in his expression.

"I can't promise you I'm the same..." he whispered, his voice trembling as if uncertain whether this was real.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, a powerful pain overcoming it at his words. "Whatever IT'll happen, I will face it with you. I know I want this, just please... Please don't push me away." He caressed your cheek, a weak smile on his face as he saw the determination in your eyes. The world became still. It was peaceful now. The past was a distant memory. The future - uncertain.

But the present felt just right.

[monabee-draws]

Some TimeBomb Analysis I felt was very heartbreakingly necessary in this trying time:

Ekko comes to realise by being in this world that Jinx was always Powder, in the same way that Vi comes to reconcile the two 'versions' of her, Ekko sees all the ways Jinx's savvy-ness and cunning and brains were always Powder. He gave her up for dead - like his dream of a beautiful Zaun - a long time ago, and painted the mural to show it. But being here with Powder makes him realise he can still have this is he's willing to take her as she is now, flaws and all.

So we all know Ekko is really talking about Jinx in the line "I used to dream the undercity could be like this", but I also think the opposite is true for his last line: "Can we pretend like it's the first time?" is about the kiss, but it's also about this version of reality. It's about Benzo being alive and Powder being Powder. It's about stepping back from his real world for a second to pretend that this is his real world. He was always going to go back, but just like his use of the Z-drive means that he could theoretically re-do and undo all of his mistakes ad infinitum, this is an acknowledgement that this 'redo' is how he wished it has been, and that it isn't real for him at the same time. Because it isn't the final time he will pull the plunger and reset. But he wishes that it was.

3. Jinx has a very difficult relationship with abandonment, obviously. But these lines encapsulate her journey towards accepting that no, actually, the people who love her will always refuse to give her up no matter how much she believes doing so would save them (including Silco and Isha and even Vander since the enforcers come after the kids for the stones she steals.) Never giving up on her empowers both Ekko and Vi in the final hours of the show. Their relationships with Jinx and the strength of that connection in the fullness and acceptance of all of its flaws and history means that they can do and achieve anything. Not giving up on her means not giving up even when everything falls apart around them. It's the crux of Ekko's time travel ability - he will always remember what really happened in all of those loops, he still carries those scars and physical damage, but he keeps trying anyways and that is what saves the world.

4. Jinx is the 'someone worth building for.' Yes, this line is about TimeBomb but it's also very strictly about Jinx. It's about Jinx needing to know that her life also have worth for herself. Her inventions have by and large been built for the sake of others - her toy weapons to impress the others/keep up with them, the canon for Silco. She rebuilds Sevika's arm because she wants to feel useful for someone again. But she doesn't value her own input into the world for her own sake. Ekko isn't asking her to fix the world here, or to make good on her mistakes. There is no 'fixing' or 'undoing' or even 'rewriting' the way Vi wants her too, the way the Zaunites do with her legacy. There is only something new. And her life is worthy purely for whatever creations she adds to the world, regardless of whether they can undo the past. There's something so achy about that coming from the Boy Saviour. He isn't really here to save Jinx from herself - he just wants her to know she can do that saving on her own.

5. Jinx always knew what she needed to do to break the cycle. But she grew up with too many people who never wanted to let go of the past. In the end, we see her airship fly not towards Piltover (in some desperate rewrite of her failed story in Zaun) but away from it. She gets out, she pursues something new, the image loops but moves towards a new trajectory with a different (better) ending, just like Ekko shows her is possible with the Z-drive.

Two sides of the same coin. She leaves Zaun to see something new, and he returns to Zaun to see it in all of its fullness. I think they'll be alright.

[mintmatcha]

Thinking about our son and his friends who come over after school and are just floored when they meet you because you're not at all how he talks about you!! You're so nice and feeding them snacks (even though they know you're working two jobs and feeding three extra kids for an afternoon is probably not an easy feat) and checking in on them but not in an overbearing way. They don't get why he talks about you like that and he keeps telling them "you'll see" "just wait" and they do see eventually. When Monoma appears at your door, on your day with your son, and says he's surprising the boys with a trip to the arcade and ice cream and all these big promises, and you clearly didn't know this was happening. 13 year old boys are dumb, but they're not stupid. They pick up on all the shady comments his dad is making that make you uncomfortable or guilty or just plain sad and now they're uncomfortable too. Your son is so excited by the change in plans but his friends are torn. Yeah, it sounds fun, they want to go but they can't? Their parents didn't approve of this when they agreed for a group hang out at your place. They haven't met with Monoma to make sure they trust their kids with him. They don't have his number in case of emergency and vice versa. "Besides," on of them says, "your mom just ordered us some pizzas."

Monoma doesn't get why his kid's lame friends (he says it in jest but it makes them cringe honestly) don't want to go do something cooler than hang out in an unfinished basement eating cheap snacks all afternoon. They get it now. The disconnect between how your son talks about you and the person you really are. They go home sad that afternoon. One keeps hugging his own mom. It's a weird time all around for everyone. Your son is pissed at you for his friends not wanting to go to the arcade.

your son is a good kid, I think. he's got great friends who know that he's smart and kind and brave-

which is why they don't really understand why he's so strange about you.

they're honestly a little taken off guard when you come home with special snacks, apologizing that you're late and the food isn't better. your son has allergies and you hand check the label of everything, just in case, and all he does is mutter a little 'thanks' under his breath.

Theres just so much misplaced anger inside him at that point. He's idolized his dad since he was a baby; its easier to see you as the villian than accept that his dad isn't how he thought he was.

[persphonesorchid]

Echoes Of Nebula - MYG

Summary: Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, a part of each other, one and the same. Stars don’t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.  

Genre: Exes to lovers, angst, fluff

Word Count: 5.5k

Warning(s): I don't think there's any, but let me know if I've missed! Any mistakes are my own, I proofread this one (1) time 😭

Masterlist

Notes: Eep, hello! Here's this lil thing I've been working on! Also, Yoongi and Mc didn't end on bad terms, their separation was somewhat mutual and they're all good :)). Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged! Enjoy!

“Make sure to eat, okay?” 

Snow swirls along the train tracks, following a gust as a train pulls into the station.  There’s the bustle of people getting on and some getting off, bundled up warmly against the winter air. Some are going to see their families, some are taking a break from theirs. Some of them are stepping onto the train to never step foot in this town again. Some of them are just starting the first day of their adult lives. 

Min Yoongi? He’s moving to Seoul.  

Your hands tuck the ends of his scarf securely into his sweater, staring at him like you’re trying to memorize his face. Your tears make tracks against your cheeks and dry quickly in the cold.  

Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend.  

“Eat on time. And I don’t mean ramyeon because you’re too lazy to cook.” You sniffle, and Yoongi wipes under your eyes with his thumbs. His glove has a hole in it. Not that it matters much right now, he’s trying to get you to stop crying. “Sleep on time, not when the sun’s coming up.”  

Min Yoongi is trying not to cry.  

“Okay.” He holds you still because he’s trying to memorize your face. He’s got pictures, even the silly ones that he took and promised to delete, but they won’t compare. “I’m sorry.” 

He must’ve apologised for the millionth time. He doesn’t know what else to say.  

You nod, smile — sadly, tears on your waterline — and, “I understand.” for the millionth time.  

He’s moving to Seoul, a long way away from Daegu.  

A mixtape he made for shits and giggles took off and pulled him with it, and he has no choice but to follow. Your life is in this little town like a ship in a bottle and like a captain you’ll go down with it. You can’t follow.  

You both talked about it for days, compromising, bargaining, but in the end, your lives are going separate ways.  

Stars either explode or implode when they die, and Yoongi feel like the star you’re both made of has finally reached its end. It’s imploding, folding in on itself and pulling everything with it.  

He has five minutes left to take you in, how the tears shine in your eyes despite his efforts, the string of the necklace he won you at a fair peeking from behind your scarf. The way you smile and your eyes squint, the way he could feel the chill of your hands through his gloves.  

He wants to stay right here in this moment and never leave if it meant he could take you in for five minutes till eternity.  

“Remember to...” His throat feels raw, but it’s because of the cold and definitely not because he’s crying. The lump in his throat makes it hard to swallow. He looks somewhere above your head to give himself a second, things like these are always hard for him. “Remember to dress for the weather.”  

He squeezes your hands, takes a breath that he almost chokes on, and looks back at you. “Don’t skip meals. Get warm when you feel cold. Always carry an umbrella in July.”  

Sometime later, Yoongi will wonder if the things he reminded you to do made much sense, if they mattered at all. Wonders if you’d actually remember. The umbrella one is really important; you always forget.  

He sat where he could see you when his five minutes were up and eternity never came. Waving from behind a glass and missing the warmth of you and the sound of your voice. He watches you wipe your tears and smile big and you walk alongside the train when it pulls off and then you run, and then, Yoongi could no longer see you.  

Min Yoongi broke up with his girlfriend and left her in the middle of winter chasing a train.  

July is always rainy. 

And every time it rains, Min Yoongi remembers the love he left in winter. He wonders if you remember to carry an umbrella. It’s been five years; he wonders if you remember him at all. 

He watches the rain splash into puddles and listens to the patter against his umbrella. Seoul bustles on, indifferent to the weather, its crowds meandering through the mid-summer downpour. Despite the season’s warmth, a stray breeze slips past his collar and reminds him of colder days. He’s grateful his gloves no longer have holes. 

He walks along the sidewalk, carried by the crowd’s flow without much thought.  

There’s not much that he wishes for anymore, not much he can wish for when he’s got everything. He lives in a high rise, works at the top music production company. Sometimes it’s a bit hard being the most sought-after producer in Seoul. Life has been good; he can’t complain. That mixtape opened doors he thought he’d be knocking on forever, and he’s worked hard to keep them open. 

Min Yoongi doesn’t need much of anything else. 

But on days like this, when the wind is just a little chilly and the sky’s opened up and crying, he misses you. 

Sometimes he looks back on that day and feel guilt. He knows it was just as hard for you as it was for him, the pain in your eyes that you smiled through. 

For a while, he’d call you every night and update you, made sure that you were doing well. For a while, he’d keep up with you and made sure that you’re doing well. For a while, he’d call you every now and then, see if you’re doing well.  

For a while, it had been a while and life, and then five years slinked on by.  

Yoongi sighs, and there’s guilt in it. He got busy, as one gets being a producer in Seoul with a shit ton of expectations. He’s changed phones over the years, lost your contact, and he got busy. 

Of course, he’s dated — mostly blind dates his friends set him up on — and he’s tried his best to push forward. There’s no point living in the past, he’s sure you’ve moved on and on by now. Sometimes he’s fine, and sometimes he’s back on that train station platform, wishing he’d begged you to come with him. 

It would’ve been the selfish thing. It wouldn’t have been fair to you had he done that. When he got to Seoul, he’d buried himself so deep into his work he barely found himself. He would’ve dragged you out here, made you give up everything just to sit on the side-lines.  

He misses you sometimes, anyways. He���s forgotten the sound of your laugh, but he still remembers the way your nose scrunches when you do. He’s forgotten the scent of your favourite perfume, but he remembers the way you lit up when he saved up and bought you a bottle forever ago. 

Min Yoongi wonders if you remember him at all. 

As Yoongi turns the corner, his umbrella catches a gust of wind and flips inside out. He fights with it for a moment before giving up, letting the rain soak his hair and the front of his jacket and jeans. He can’t help but laugh at the irony, standing there drenched, remembering the countless times he reminded you to carry an umbrella. 

In the distance, he spots a small café and decides to seek shelter. The bell above the door jingles as he enters, and the warm, cozy atmosphere wraps around him like a comforting hug. He shakes off his umbrella – finally pulling it back down – and steps up to the counter, ordering a hot coffee to chase away the chill. 

As he waits, his eyes wander around the café, taking in the rustic décor and the soft hum of conversation. A bulletin board on the wall catches his attention, filled with flyers and photos. His gaze lands on a familiar face, and his heart skips a beat. 

It’s you. Your photo, smiling brightly, pinned among various advertisements and announcements. You’re standing next to a large canvas, looking proud. He steps closer, reading the caption beneath your picture: “Local Artist Exhibition - Featuring Works by ________.” 

Yoongi’s mind races as he takes in the information. You’re here in Seoul, and you’ve been showcasing your art. A mix of emotions floods through him—relief, excitement, and a twinge of nervousness. He jots down the address of the gallery from the flyer without much thought and leaves without his coffee. 

As Yoongi steps out into the rain, a million thoughts swirl through his mind, each one more turbulent than the last. He wonders why you never sought him out. Seoul is vast, but you’d known he was here, making waves in the music scene. Did you ever think about him? Did you ever miss him? 

The realization hits him hard: he never knew you were doing art before he left. In all your conversations, all your late-night talks and shared dreams, you never mentioned a passion for painting. He feels a pang of guilt. Had he been so wrapped up in his own ambitions that he failed to notice yours? The thought stings, and he can't shake the feeling that he should have been there for your journey, supporting you the way you always supported him. 

The gallery isn’t far, and soon he’s standing in front of it, his heart pounding in his chest. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, the sound of soft music and hushed voices greeting him. There’s quite a bit of people mingling about in quiet discussion, taking photos of the art mounted on the walls under ambient lighting. 

Inside the gallery, he feels out of place. The walls, adorned with your art, are a testament to a part of your life he knows nothing about. Each piece is beautiful, but they also serve as a painful reminder of how much he’s missed. He wonders how many late nights you spent creating these, how many times you might have needed someone to share your successes and frustrations with. 

Yoongi wanders through the gallery, the sound of soft music and hushed voices creating a backdrop to his thoughts. The rain outside has left him feeling introspective, and as he takes in the various pieces of art, he feels a strange mix of pride and sadness seeing how far you’ve come. 

Each painting tells a story, each one a glimpse into your life over the past five years, a life he wasn’t a part of. 

His gaze is drawn to a large canvas on the far wall. The colours are bold and dramatic, the brushstrokes chaotic and full of emotion. As he steps closer, he realizes with a jolt that the scene depicted is achingly familiar: a train station, snow swirling in the air, and two figures standing close together, wrapped in scarves and winter coats. 

His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the details. The style is unmistakably expressionist, the exaggerated forms and vibrant colours capturing the raw emotion of that day. The figures are abstract, but he knows them instantly: one is you, and the other is him. 

He remembers the way you tucked his scarf into his sweater, the tears that made tracks down your cheeks, and the way you both tried to memorize each other in those final moments. The painting captures all of it, the pain and the love, the sorrow and the hope. 

Yoongi feels a lump in his throat as he stares at the piece. It’s a testament to your skill as an artist. He wonders how long you carried the weight of that moment, how many times you revisited it in your mind to create this masterpiece. He’s overwhelmed by a wave of emotions: regret, longing, and a deep, unspoken connection. 

The title of the painting, written on a small plaque beside it, reads “Departure.” It’s fitting, he thinks, for the moment it captures, but also for the way it marks the beginning of your separate journeys. 

As he stands there, lost in thought, he hears your voice nearby, and for a moment, he simply stands there. Your words meld together and he isn’t hearing much of what you’re saying, just the sound.  His heart pounds against his ribs as your laugh — it sparks a memory and adds sound to the ones that were muted — bounces off the walls and around in his head.  

He turns and sees you, in a corner, your back to him talking to a taller man, discussing a point of space where you’re standing. The sight of you, so vibrant and alive, sends a mixture of relief and nervousness fluttering around in Yoongi’s tummy.   

Gathering his courage, he takes a step forward, then another, until he’s standing just a few feet away. You turn and startle, staring at him like he’s a ghost. There’s a brief moment of surprise — he gets it — and then you blink. 

“Yoongi,” you breathe, and turning to the man next to you, you smile gently. “Taehyung...Can you give us a moment?”  

The guy looks between you both for a second with a raised brow before he’s gone, walking off to some other part of the gallery. Yoongi’s mind is too occupied taking in the sight of you to wonder what that man’s presence may mean. 

“Hi,” he replies, his voice soft and filled with all the words he’s wanted to say for years. Despite this, he doesn’t actually know what to say, he didn’t actually think this far ahead. He glances back at the painting of the train station platform, then back at you. “I saw your painting.” 

You follow his gaze and nod, your smile tinged with a hint of sadness. “It was a significant moment for me. For both of us, I think.” 

It’s a lot awkward, with him just standing there, not sure what to do with himself. You look the same, though now your hair is styled professionally and not the frizzy, wind swept mess it was when he last saw you.  

There’s so much he wants to say but he feel like he doesn’t have enough words, or the right ones, so he takes it easy. “I saw a flyer...in a café. Um... It’s amazing...your work.”  

“Thank you,” you say, your eyes reflecting a mixture of pride, nostalgia and a certain sadness. “I didn’t know you’d be here. It’s... good to see you.” 

The conversation goes slowly, awkwardly. There are long pauses and nervous laughter, each of you trying to bridge the gap of five years with small talk about your art and his music. 

“You’ve done well,” he says, gesturing to the paintings around you both. “I didn’t even know you were into art.” 

You smile, the same just barely there sad smile from earlier. “It was something I started after you left. It helped me cope.” 

“Oh...” His heart aches at the thought of you turning to art just to fill the void he left behind. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. 

You shake your head and shrug. “We both had our paths to follow. It’s just... life.” 

He nods, but the guilt lingers. Life had taken you both in different directions, but he can’t help but wonder what might have been different if he had stayed, or if he had at least tried to stay in touch better. 

Min Yoongi is an idiot and he’s always told himself so. He’s an idiot and he sucks at this sort of thing. 

As the gallery starts to empty out, Yoongi looks at you, the rain pattering gently against the windows. There’s a part of him that wants to apologize, to make up for all the lost time, but he knows it’s not that simple. 

“Do you have time for a coffee?” he asks, hope and uncertainty mingling in his eyes. 

Your smile is a little hesitant, but you nod, “Sure.” 

You excuse yourself to grab your jacket and an umbrella — you remembered, he smiles privately —, and then you talk to the man from earlier for a minute before Yoongi follows you out of the gallery and onto the wet street.  

The walk is quiet, filled with the awkwardness of five years’ worth of missed everything’s, and Yoongi holds tight to the handle of his umbrella. There’s a confidence to your step as you weave your way through the crowd, head straight forward and not looking down at your feet like he remembers. 

You’re not the girl he left on that platform five years ago just as he’s not the guy that left you there.  

You walk back to the cafe he’d come from, and he realises that you’re probably a regular here. The barista behind the counter greets you with a smile and asks if you’re having your usual. You order a coffee and Yoongi asks the girl behind the counter to reheat the one he bought earlier, and the barista’s eyes dart between you both. 

You lead him to a cozy corner table after the order was called, and as you settle in, the conversation starts up slowly again. 

“How long have you been in Seoul?” Yoongi asks first, his voice a little hesitant, not sure if he’s allowed to ask.  

“Almost three years now,” you reply, looking down at your coffee cup, the tiniest furrow between your brows. “It took a while, but I got settled.” 

Yoongi takes a moment to observe you, trying to reconcile the person in front of him with the memories he’s held onto for the past five years. You don’t look much different, your hair’s in an up-do, your cheeks are a little fuller, but that’s as much as he notices.  

The silence that rings between you both is louder than the other customers in the cafe. Yoongi can only imagine what this scene looks like to others; two people who are barely looking at each other, like awkward strangers forced to share a space.  

His coffee is still hot, and it burns his tongue when he sips at it, but at least it’s given him a distraction. He steals glances at you, watching the way your eyes comb the cafe and avoid his gaze.  

Unfortunately, Yoongi is naught but a man, and there’s a nagging sound at the back of his brain. It grows louder until he fidgets, the nerves of his free hand feel like they’re dancing and he takes a breath. He looks down at his coffee cup, glances at you and then back to the cup. Then, he asks a question that made him want to crawl out of his skin.  

“So...that guy back at your gallery seemed nice...”  

He knows it’s been five years, and a lot can change in that time.  As toxic as it may sound, the thought of you moving on with someone else stirs a mix of emotions in him. 

He knows he has no right to be upset if you’ve found happiness with someone else. It’s not his business anymore, not after all this time.   

Still, the fear is there. He doesn’t want to admit how much it hurts to think of you with someone else. He can’t deny the pang of jealousy at the thought, but he tries his best to ignore it. He has no claim over you. You deserve to be happy, and if you’ve found that with someone, then he’s happy.  

He sighs inwardly, pushing the thoughts aside. He wants to focus on the present, on the fact that you’re sitting in front of him right now. Whatever happens, he’s happy to be here, he hopes he can be a part of your life again of you let him, even if it’s only as a friend. He doesn’t want to ruin this, whatever it turns out to be. 

You stare at him for a moment and Yoongi can’t tell what you’re thinking, “He is...he’s got an eye for art.”  

Yoongi nods slowly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup. He hums softly, and now it’s his turn to pretend you’re not looking; he finds interest in the light fixtures above.   

His next question sits on his tongue trying to pry past his teeth. He feels like a kid trying to find the right moment to ask his parents if he could go play outside. There’s a nervous churning in his tummy that isn’t at all pleasant. How does one ask their ex of five years if they’re seeing someone?  

Yoongi imagines they’d just ask, out of curiosity, and get it out of the way. He could play it well. Maybe lean back into his seat and appear more casual before he says the stupid words. Maybe he could stop staring at the lights like a damn moth, and act like a being with a fully developed frontal lobe.  

“Are you two...close? Or...you know...” He waves a hand and then lays it on the table. The sound of his ring knocking against it is kind of jarring, but it gives Yoongi an opportunity to look away again. 

You make a quiet sound, and Yoongi finally meets your gaze. There’s amusement in your eyes, it’s obvious you’ve figured him out already — he wasn’t exactly being subtle. Which is unfortunate, because now Yoongi could feel embarrassment tapping on his shoulder. 

You say nothing of it, even though he knows you want to. He could feel it.  

“As close as business partners can be, I suppose.” You say, and Yoongi can see the beginning of a smile as you lift your coffee to hide it.  

“Right...Sorry.” Yoongi says sheepishly, though, a weight lifts off his chest. As he looks at you, he notices something that makes his heart skip a beat.  

You’re still wearing the necklace he got you all those years ago, the one he won for you at the fair. The twine that the little pendant hangs on looks worn, fraying a bit at some points, but you’re wearing it.  

You kept it. 

He clears his throat, the words he’s been holding back spilling out. “I’m sorry I lost touch. I got so busy, and then it felt like too much time had passed to reconnect. I lost your contact, and… I didn’t know how to find you again.” 

You nod, your fingers brushing over the necklace like you sensed his gaze on it. “It’s okay. Life happened, for both of us.” 

“But why didn’t you seek me out when you got to Seoul?” Yoongi asks, his voice soft, devoid of accusation; genuinely curious. 

“I thought it would be for the best,” you say, equally as soft, staring into your coffee as though it would give you the words you’re looking for. “So much time had passed, and I didn’t want to disrupt your life. You were doing well.”  

You look so sad when you say it that it almost breaks Yoongi’s heart.  

“You know I wouldn’t have...” He wouldn’t have turned you away.  

“I know, I just...” You sigh, your eyes dart somewhere to his left, and then back at him, “...I really missed you.”  

Yoongi wants to reach out and take your hand so he does. Your fingers are warm from the coffee, squeezing his own, and tears beads at your waterline.  

“I missed you too.” His gaze is soft and he knows it, but he doesn’t care because its you. You’re still you and he’s still him, and he misses you and the girl he left on that platform.  

You’re both still made of the same star. It’s imploded but still glowing, and your necklace pendant catches the above head light.  

His finger brushes over your knuckles, he stares at them, the shape and colour and all the little things about them that makes them a part of you. All that with his heart in his throat because he wants to ask something.  

“Do you think…” His voice is barely a whisper, as if he’s afraid the wrong volume might shatter whatever delicate thread holds this moment together. “Do you think there’s a chance… that we could try again?” 

You stare at him, your eyes wide, and he feels the subtle pressure of your fingers in his. He knows it’s a lot to ask,  but the longing, the sense that maybe something beautiful can still be salvaged from the pieces, presses him to keep going. 

Hope catches on the glint of your necklace pendant, and he clings to it. 

“I don’t expect anything to happen right away. I just… I want to be in your life again, even if we start slow. No pressure, just… what feels right.” 

You’re quiet for a moment, and then a soft smile curves your lips, almost as if you’ve been waiting for him to say something like this.  

“We could try,” you murmur, the words tentative but filled with the same cautious hope Yoongi feels. 

And from there, the pace is unhurried. You both ease into each other’s lives like rivers that find their way back to the same stream.  

Some days Yoongi feels like he’s been whacked on the head with a giant stick. Anyone could tell by looking at him, when he’s got that stupid look on his face. Like he’s seen a goddess and she spared him a glance. He feels like he’s dreaming, and the last five years without you seem to blur.  

He starts small, a text here and there; good morning and good night. Even if he’s busy he’d keep up with you, except when his work demands his focus. There are some days when you’d disappear, and Yoongi understands when you explain you’ve been in your studio for hours.  

Your gallery isn’t far from his work, and as much as he could he’d go see you. He finds himself drawn to small gestures—bringing you lunch or a cup of coffee, or sometimes a sweet he thinks you might like. Each time he steps into the gallery with something for you, he feels a warmth settle in his chest. 

It’s an excuse, he knows, to see you smile, to watch you light up at the thoughtfulness of it. And each time you look at him with that gentle, appreciative gaze, he feels his hope grow a little stronger. 

You’d tell him all about your creative process, how you’d spin and weave what’s in your head onto a canvas. He’d listen attentively because he’s interested and he owes it to you. All those nights spent burning the midnight oil, steeping in his frustrations; you were there. You’d listen to him rant and cry when things weren’t working out the way he wanted. 

He owed you much more than that.  

He feels like he has to learn you all over again, which, in a sense, he does. Even if the bases of you are the same, there’s new facets. Little shards that fit into the mirror that reflects you, some pieces are a little dusty and worn with time and others are new and shiny. Yoongi has to take his time cleaning the old ones to see them again, and get used to the new ones that twinkle his eyes.  

He invites you to his place for dinner, something simple and easy, and the conversation flows a lot better than it had a month before.  

There’s no awkward sentences that cut off somewhere in the middle. Yoongi knows what to do with his hands and he has a better time looking you in the eye now. He feels a lot like he did back then, like a school boy taking his crush to meet his parents. His hands are a little sweaty, but the food is good and your eyes sparkle like they did back then, too.  

You seem so sure, like you’re not worried one bit. Like you knew you’d meet him again and you’d be here in this moment; sipping on white wine – something new he’s learned – and chucking over stories set in the past.  

The day he let a pet name slip was the day Yoongi wished a chasm would open up and swallow him. He had his excuse ready; the clock’s pushing one in the morning; he’s tired. The truth? It’s so easy to slip back into old ways, like nothing changed at all.  

Like a smouldering fire in a hearth. It’s not quite out yet, and if you throw some sticks in there, they’ll catch.  

After a while, on some sunny evening, Yoongi invited you to his studio. 

“This is where I spend most of my time.” And he means that, letting you into his studio. There’s a blanket tossed haphazardly on the black couch that lines the wall near the door.  

There’s day old take away coffee cups that never made it to the bin, cluttered in a designated spot. The bin he meant to empty is overflowing with scraps of paper and crushed takeout containers. That’s as far as the clutter goes. Though, Yoongi’s embarrassed now – he prides himself on keeping tidy. He wasn’t thinking when he asked you over, didn’t expect you to agree either.  

So now he’s clearing up his desk and tying a knot on the waste bag. You make yourself comfortable on his couch like you’ve been there before, throwing the blanket over your lap as your eyes dart about to take everything in.  

You’re impressed, he could tell by the gleam in your eyes and your little down turned smile. He’s come a long way from his old computer and MIDI.  

“Its nice, cosy. Beats camping out in your bedroom.” You smile and Yoongi chuckles, nodding.  

“Damn right.” He agrees, but he wouldn’t trade in those days for anything. Truthfully, he’s been here for three days, only going home to shower. Inspiration on an all time high and he’s just been riding the wave, you’ve been his muse for the past month. It isn’t the first time, at moments over the years gone you’d float into his mind like a mirage, and he’d get stuck on you.  

He’s grateful for the break, though, there’s nothing much to do and he doesn’t want to bore you with rambling about what he’s working on. So he orders something, and lets a movie play on his laptop.  

The clock ticks softly in the corner, its sound nearly drowned out by the hum of the desk lamp — he should really get that replaced. You’re still curled up on his couch despite the hour, the blanket pooled around your legs, your eyes scanning a painting on the wall he doesn’t remember hanging. 

“It’s peaceful here,” you say, your voice quiet but steady, like you’re speaking directly to the heart of the room—and to him. 

Yoongi glances up from the cluttered desk he’d been half-heartedly straightening; resorting his things because he can’t sit still. He watches the way you seem to belong in his space, your presence settling into the corners he never realized were empty. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. 

“You think so?” he asks, moving to lean against the edge of the desk. He crosses his arms, the soft light from the lamp catching on the fine lines of his face. “I always thought it was too chaotic.” 

You turn your head, your gaze locking onto his. “Chaos can be beautiful. It just takes the right eyes to see it.” 

The words settle between you, their weight both gentle and profound. Yoongi feels something inside him shift—a small piece of armour finally cracking and falling away. 

He takes a step toward you, his hands slipping into his pockets, his expression tentative. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” 

You sit up a little straighter, tilting your head. “What is it?” 

“Would you…” He hesitates, his fingers brushing against the edge of a USB drive in his pocket—the same drive that holds the tracks he’s been working on for weeks. “Would you let me write something for you? About you?” 

Your surprise shows in the slight widening of your eyes, followed quickly by a soft, warm smile. “You already do that, don’t you?” 

Yoongi chuckles under his breath, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. “Maybe,” he admits, with a small smile that meant more than he could say. “But this time, I want you to know it’s for you. No hiding it in metaphors or beats no one else understands. Just…you.” 

You rise from the couch, the blanket slipping to the side as you close the small distance between you. Standing so close, Yoongi count all the things that make you you.  

“Okay,” you say softly, your fingers brushing against his. “But only if you let me paint something for you, too.” 

Yoongi takes your hand because he wants to, and his fingers make home in the spaces between yours. It feels like déjà vu and an epiphany all at once: five years ago you were this close and he was saying goodbye. His gloves had holes. Today...he’s saying hello again, and it feels like no time had gone by. And he kisses you now because he didn’t kiss you then, and you sigh into it like you’ve been waiting a lifetime.  

Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, apart of each other, one in the same. Stars don’t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.  

Tagging: @hoseoksluna @xpeachesncream @amon-rei @allhobbitstoisengard @euphoricfilter @madbutgloriouspond

[amphitriteswife]

Being the older itoshi sister

Tagging @zendersenders

Rin:

💙 Tsundere brother. He’s your littlest brother so bear with him okay, he’s the youngest. He doesn’t act like it though. He likes to think he’s way more mature for his age, which isn’t necessarily true as he has lots of mood swings and outbursts. Will never admit it, but he also sometimes has temper tantrums. But he finds them embarrassed and will deny ever having them.

💙 he said would trust you more than Sae, he’ll tell you his secrets and feelings. But only if you promise to not snitch it to Sae. He’ll sometimes cry, but he doesn’t find it as embarrassing since he’s with you.

💙 If you follow school abroad he’ll miss you dearly, he’s not one to text first or everyday but he will make time for it somewhere in his busy schedule. He’ll respond to your stories or just tell you things about his day

💙He’s more of a caller than texter. Or he’ll send voice messages to you. Half of the time you can hear him out of breath since he’ll probably sent the messages after soccer practice. He would probably walk home with his phone still open, hoping you’ll see it sooner or later since he doesn’t want to talk with you at home. Otherwise his parents are all nosy and up his business.

💙 ‘sister! *pant pant*’ ‘hey Rin, what’s up?’ ‘*pant* can you sent me money? I want to buy some snacks after practice.’ ‘Where are you now?’ ‘Its break time. Can you sent me money?’ ‘Sure! I’ll sent you 20 bucks.’ ‘Thank you!’

💙 He hopes you visit him a lot. Preferably more than Sae. But he also knows that the both of them are your brothers and doesn’t push in that regard, he will get jealous if you spent more time with Sae than him. He doesn’t want to be left out because you and Sae are both adults.

💙 you two probably share a playlist, and most of it are english songs. It will help him with his English. He probably listens to the neighborhood and chase Atlantic. He would 100% stress about concert tickets if they were coming to japan. Ofcourse hell but you one too.

💙 He will never admit it but it makes him happy if you go to his matches or practices. He sometimes searches the seats to see if he can spot you sitting in one of them, he hopes you’ll see his important matches bo matter what. Whether it’s in real life or on tv.

💙He hopes that you’ll see his matches before Sae’s. He knows that Sae is your brother too and that you love him but Rin wants to be your favorite and trustable brother. He feels as if he’s better than Sae if you love him more than him.

💙 He sometimes has his emo phases where he shuts down and doesn’t speak a lot, it’s mainly because of how he feels or it has to do with Sae. He’s not one to tell his feelings to you, most of the time he does but not always. Sometimes he cried, but at least now he doesn’t have to cry on his own, he can cry with you by his side. And that gives him some type of comfort.

💙 be ready to have a clingy and rather possessive Rin if he finds out you have a partner. Rin wants to know everything. Why them? Are they good for you? Will they treat you well? He wants to meet them. He’ll wait. And if he doesn’t approve he better not see them again. No scummy partner will ever enter your life.

💙 Sometimes Rin becomes emotional, very emotional. Whether it’s sadness or anger. He expresses them very intensely, that’s why he sometimes might say hurtful things or words. But at the end of the day he never means them. Doesn’t take away that they hurt though. He does feel a lot of guilt and might end up crying and apologizing to you for it.

💙 He’ll be your best friend. So please consider him yours. You’re his sister, the only sibling still talking to him. He doesn’t befriend others often nor does he talk to his parents. To him you’re currently the most important person in his life. He loves you a lot even if he doesn’t show it. No questions asked.

Sae:

❤️ Sae is around your age, and way more mature than Rin. He doesn’t really bother you because of that and because most of the time he’s in Spain. He also doesn’t talk much, like as if he’s always sleepy. No he does not lack sleep it’s just how he looks so no worries sister.

❤️ Sae isn’t the one who contacts you first nor tried to keep to conversation. He’s busy with a lot of things. It’s no question that he cares for you, there just is only so much time in one day. He has matches, interviews, contracts, practice and a lot more. He hopes you understand how busy he is and that it’s not intentional.

❤️ Unlike Rin, Sae isn’t emotional but rather rational. He keeps his cool and thinks straight and logical. He does have a sharp tongue, but swallows his words when it comes to you. You’re his elder sister and he respects you a lot, such words aren’t meant for you.

❤️ Sae would rather see you in person than on texts. He watched your stories and sees you’re online but will not sent a message until you sent one first. He’ll often leave you on read. It’s not meant to be offending, but rather that he’s busy or just doesn’t wish to engage in the conversation further. He’s tired okay? He hopes you understand.

❤️ it had been stated that Sae thinks that Rin is in his ‘rebellious’ phase. That caused him to be rather confused if Rin snaps at him, which causes Sae to come to you. He often talks to you about Rin as Rin hinself doesn’t even talk to Sae when he’s back in Japan.

❤️ As the older sister, you will have to deal with Sae not understanding what is up with Rin, and Rin hating Sae’s guts. This puts you in a rough spot. Both of them knows you love them very much. But in contrast to Rin, Sae doesn’t seem to mind you spending more time with Rin. After all, Rin is the youngest and needs to most attention because he’s needy. At least that’s what Sae thinks.

❤️ He does make an effort to see you. It might not always feel that way, but he does go on a plane and see you from time to time if his schedule is cooled off. To him the not everyday talking works great. That way the moment he sees you he has a lot to listen to and maybe talk back about some things happening in his life too.

❤️ Sae doesn’t mind you having a partner. He thinks your old enough to know whats best for you and trusts you in that too. Ofcourse if it doesn’t end up working he’ll always he there for you. Only thing he wants is that you keep an eye out for yourself and that your partner isn’t hurting you. He doesn’t necessarily need to meet them but if you insist he wouldn’t mind.

❤️ if you live abroad he’ll also visit you, but then he’s more willing to go out and explore where you live. It feels rather fresh to him when he’s somewhere different than Japan, as if he can breath. He will avoid public spaces a lot because he doesn’t want to be recognized. He might stay at your place for a few days before eventually going back to Spain.

❤️ He will give you random things from Spain, whether it’s a photo, a souvenir, typical spanish snacks or something else. He’ll always bring you something. It’s one of the rare moments he’ll text you and ask you what you want from Spain.

❤️ Unlike Rin, Sae doesn’t seem to mind if you don’t come to his matches. If you watch them on tv he’s happy. But if you don’t he doesn’t mind it. Seeing them irl is something he doesn’t expect. Especially if you live abroad or in Japan. Flights and Hotel costs are expensive. His tickets always get paid by the manager, he will try to get them to also pay yours. But he also understands if you don’t feel comfortable by it.

❤️ Sarcastic asf. It depends on how you take it but sometimes it just floops out. He doesn’t want to be mean but it’s in his system. It’s never curse words but more comments and he always seems to pause after he says it because he didn’t mean to say it out loud. He usually says that to others and can be seen as harsh or rather blunt. He tries to watch his tongue, he really does

❤️ Sae loves you without a doubt, the same goed for Rin even though he might not show it. He doesn’t see a need for friends or to actually regularly contact someone. But he’s happy that your the glue that sticks the bond with him and Rin. He knows you’re in a rough spot and tries to make it less harder for you. But he is grateful that you’re here to help him and tha babiest of brothers, Rin.

That’s all yall😜

[cybershock24601]

Need to cope with everything that happened in Arcane and formulating an AU where everything goes well without Vi having to die because I need Vi and Powder happy damn it! But thinking back that first episode and where things could have diverged and maybe when Powder finds the crystals she shares her discovery which leads to everyone arguing over whether they should take them because on the one hand they look valuable and on the other hand they could be dangerous and they're so loud about it they don't hear the door open until its too late. Now Jayce and Cait get to discover them inside the apartment and everyone just freezes. Cait wants to get the enforcers to deal with it but Jayce gives a very empathetic NO because he's fucking around with things he should not be fucking around with.

The kids definitely pick up on the fact that Jayce doesn't want the enforcers involved which I'm sure Vi would be using to try to get everyone out of their without getting arrested while Cait is like Why not?? Jayce is trying to deal with Vi and Mylo and Claggor while also trying to dodge Cait's increasing questioning because why can't they just get the enforcers. Powder ends up inspecting the big blackboard in there and asks some insightful question or draws some conclusion from it because Powder is Smart which gets Jayce totally distracted because Powder gets his nerd brain working, kinda abandoning the situation at hand to talk to her about what he's doing.

This devolves into Vi bargaining for Powder to get into one of the fancy Piltover schools or else Vi is totally going to rat Jayce out for what he's doing and Jayce is already a scholarship kid basically so he can't really do that but he does offer to teach Powder what he can himself which is acceptable enough and lets the kids pride be soothed because they feel like they got something out of their trip to the upper city. Meanwhile Cait is still freaking out because what do you mean you're going to let them go Jayce, they're thieves! This is probably about the time Vi calls Cait cupcake and Cait turns red for Multiple Reasons and also probably awakens something in her and Cait just gets super flustered and she and Vi start antagonistically flirting.

Anyways everyone parts ways after this with Vi probably pocketing one of the crystals as insurance to blackmail Jayce with in case he tries to renege on the deal. This is then the start of Powder and Vi coming to the upper city for Powder to get lessons from Jayce which mostly consist of the two of them studying hextech and making a lot more strides than Jayce was doing just on his own while Vi just stays there because she's not just going to leave her little sister alone with a stranger and Cait shows up because she doesn't trust these under city kids and also maybe wants to see Vi again and Cait and Vi spend the whole time basically flirtatiously sniping at each other while Jayce and Powder nerd out.

Claggor and Mylo are covering for the girls back in Zaun but eventually Vander finds out what's going on and how the kids even ended up making a deal with some upper city scholar and just kind of has to put his head in his hands because what are these kids doing but also kinda impressed because they went in there to steal and walked out having strong armed someone into giving Powder a semi proper education. Still Vander wants to meet the guy who's teaching his daughter even if he knows Vi wouldn't let her little sister within 15 feet of a creep.

This is also about the same time that Heimerdinger notices Jayce being exceptionally tired lately and manages to get Jayce to admit he's taken on tutoring a kid in his spare time. Heimerdinger is ecstatic that Jayce has discovered a love of learning and wants to meet whoever this young pupil Jayce has taken a shine too though he doesn't want Jayce to burn out. Once Jayce explains he's teaching the kid because she's from the under city, Heimerdinger definitely wants to meet the kid and offer them a place at the academy if they're up to snuff especially considering how talented his assistant Viktor is. Viktor who was in the area at the time of this conversation definitely takes note that Jayce avoided all of Heimerdinger's questions about what he was working on.

Anyways this all leads to Jayce and Heimerdinger taking a trip down to Zaun to meet with Vander and Powder and the rest of the kids too which leads to Heimerdinger meeting Claggor and Ekko who he sees as having a lot of potential too and then I don't really know where things go from there. But I think Heimerdinger who's on the council talking to such a central community figure in Zaun like Vander would really open his eyes and make Heimerdinger realize that there is a lot that can be done to help the under city and I think Vander would be willing to work with him unlike some other people *cough* Silco *cough*. The fact that Vi is looking like the future Mrs. Kiramman would also probably lead to Cassandra and Vander meeting which has a lot of potential to make things happen.

Also please imagine the worlds most awkward meet the family dinner between the posh Kirammans and Vi's incredibly weird found family. The hijinks alone are endless not to mention the drama that would probably unfold there. Especially if Vander and Silco end up reconciling for whatever reason and now you got a council member and a chem baron sharing a dinner table.

[bisclavret]

arthurian cinema: a vibe collection

my rule of thumb when it comes to watching movies is "must a movie be 'good'? is it not enough for it to have a bit of a weird/trippy/artsy/horny/allegorical/gay vibe?" and thank god for that because arthurian cinema has this sort of vibe in spades! so here's an assortment of some arthurian films i've seen + a reason or two why they passed my nebulous yet specific vibe check:

lancelot du lac 1974 is my #1 forever for the doomed repressed symbolism-soaked post-grail pre-camlann so-rigid-it's-camp atmosphere and the interpersonal dynamics between lancelot guinevere and gauvain the likes of which i haven't seen anywhere else outside of the texts

tristan et iseult 1972 is really just avant-garde performance art + the surviving copy is really rank which adds a je ne sais quoi... and congrats to tristan on his top surgery!

morgane et ses nymphes for the "my lesbian roadtrip led me to morgan le fay's realm and now she's obsessed with me" plot and the dreamy hazy eurotrash energies

perceval le gallois 1978 has such kitschy surrealist teletubbies-esque visuals that it has nearly defeated me. i still haven't finished it. it's rare that a film feels like an assault on my eyeballs and yet i am compelled and i cannot look away

sir gawain and the green knight 2002 is a strangely horny stained glass animation that will give you motion sickness while saying bi rights over and over and over. it feels like a religious sunday cartoon. it won a bafta

the buried giant – a beautifully atmospheric novel in its own right – is getting adapted into a stop motion film soon! i already know it will earn a spot on this list so consider this a place-holder

the green knight 2021 for the giants scene (and the 360-degree sequence of a tied-up gawain Losing The Game)

a knight's tale entirely because they dance to bowie's golden years

knightriders for the most charming merlin design i've ever seen and also for the whole knights jousting on motorbikes concept

monty python and the holy grail for just about everything but above all else the bit where they're animated and then the animator abruptly dies of a heart attack and then they stop being animated

excalibur 1981 for everything as well but i cannot overstate the effect lancelot's dream where he wrestles his armor and homoerotically un-stabs himself had on me. i will never shut up about it

king arthur: legend of the sword just kidding i haven't seen this nor do i intend to. i'm just enamored with this 2-second shot of a tree girl and her tree titties and i think that everyone should witness her

[waddei]

I feel like when anything happens controversy wise in the mcyt community, everyone jumps to be a part of it, theres this weird idea that if you arent taking action and speaking out then you are complicit in whatever is happening. This attitude is directed at the smallest random blogs to all the ccs. Its like to be considered a good person you have to take action against whatever the new "evil" is or you agree with it. So people grab their pitchforks and go off to hunt anyone who isnt participating in attacking the "bad people". You have to make a statement you have to make sure youre doing your duty, doing your role in defeating the evil. I saw the phrase "this isnt just drama this is abuse and its serious, not a fad" thrown around a lot when shubble spoke about her abuse, except all the people saying it were using it as a reason to attack anyone who wasnt taking action. And most of those people forgot about it already, they dont still talk about it and they dont seem to care beyond being a part of something, so they can pat themselves on the back and say "I did something, I helped defeat evil". I see it all the time whenever any controversy happens for anything Im into and it sucks, people stop being people if they arent doing whatever the crowd expects of them, if you arent fighting and making statements then you obviously agree with whatever the new evil is. Sorry, this is kinda long and rambley but this is a frustration ive had for a while. People forget that people are people, especially the ccs. Tommys evil if he doesnt say how much he hates wilbur , when he makes a song talking about how much the internet sucks hes a hero now because obviously this is his statement saying how much he hates wilbur, and he even made it a song! good job tommy. Lets overanalyze the song and pick it apart till he isnt a person anymore, hes an idea, hes the idea of hating wilbur, not his own person. The song couldnt have multiple meanings or be a complaint about the internet as a whole and his experiences as a whole, its just about wilbur, because thats who tommy is, hes part of wilbur and he needs to say how much he hates that part of himself to be forgiven for the crime of being friends with someone who was bad. Theres no one who was friends with wilbur who isnt a part of him and they all need to take a knife and publically cut themselves apart to proclaim their hatred of him, how they dont want to be a part of him thats just how it is. I really do hate the internet sometimes, it feels like no one is a person anymore except for whoevers hated, everything else is just connected to them, and has to be torn apart brutally by the masses or theyre bad and complicit or your bad and complicit, everyone has to speak out, even the people who just watched his videos, even the people who were friends with him who may be having a hard time, even the people who dont know who he is, even their pets, they all have to make a statment or they are part of him and his abuse.

I agree with this anon, and I think that a lot of this race to moral perfection really was just people getting swept up under the pressure of others 😔

[bitchy-peachy]

I don't know whether I should find Trump voters freaking out after learning that Trump doesn't care about him funny or infuriating. It's funny bc literally every reason they had voted for this man was a bold-faced lie and infuriating bc ppl on both sides has be telling them over and over that Trump would fuck America over and now that it's affecting them and their precious gas and egg price, they want to cry about being duped.

I find regretful Trump voters quite pitiful and soulless. Which is quite a lot from me cos when I despise someone to the core I go completely apathetic towards any suffering they may have.

They voted as selfishly as possible. Some didn't even care about the prices or anything, but yes for "sticking it to the libs".

But... While a lot of maga voted for Trump because he openly hates those they hate, there's unfortunately a lot of dumbass people that actually believed he would "unify" America.

(I'm not even joking. I've seen some maga online that are that effing delusional. They really thought they were the "good guys" in voting for the orange skidmark. I swear they need to get slapped for the audacity but I don't want to catch shit from them. )

These are the same people that compared wearing a freaking MASK to slavery so they've always been stupid and also racist af. They blame and project their own mediocrity on minorities and women (even if they're women themselves cos holyshit do maga women hate other women. My own maga mother... Oh she's literally hates everything with a vagina, even animals)

Those voters regretting their vote now... They won't even get the concept of pity from me. (My maga mother and her crying over her VA benefits she voted away lost me forever too.)

They didn't even know what tariffs were ffs. Or that "Obamacare" (a nickname given by republicans themselves, btw 😂) is the ACA they wanted to keep.

They just saw "Obama" in the little nickname and thought "Evil Black Democrat President is robbing us blind. We only want ACA🤬!"

Some are trying to lie to themselves thinking the tariffs will bring back American jobs (😂) and make us buy only "American products" ignoring the fact that our "American products" have imported components that will be affected by these tariffs.

So our "Made in America" shit... Yeah. That's going up.

Oh don't get me started on how more than half of our agriculture is imported and the agriculture that's actually done in our country is done mostly by immigrants that get paid shit wages. (And when Trump deports them all and farmers are forced to hire Americans that couldn't be assed to work a field, the prices will go up for our local agriculture as well)

These morons, we have to call them that, voted for the most epic downward spiral that will tank the American economy for potential decades (not just a few years of "hardship" like that Immigrant-That-Should-Get-Pimp-Smacked-Back-To-Africa Musk claimed.)

Sad thing is that we already had poverty. The middle class no longer exists. It's everyone's poor but with a handful of rich fucks.

And these moronic ass people just freaking put that shit on steroids with their dumb fucking voting.

People tell me I shouldn't insult them so much but shit. They're fucking stupid as hell.

They don't even understand why even relatives and friends don't wanna talk to them anymore 😂.

Oh its not a "difference of opinion". They voted to make us poorer, take rights away from the lgbtqia, women (yes, you miscarry and you can die from it now cos the procedure to remove rotting fetus matter is an abortion which these stupid dumbfuckers are very deaf about.), they voted against ALL POC (including the idiots that voted against themselves. DING DING DING! DENATURALIZATION! America has done it before and Trump will be bringing it back with his fake ass "invasion" emergency to activate the army), they voted against affordable healthcare and therefore fucked over people with preexisting conditions/disabilities etc., they voted against education because republicans need only stupid people to keep them in power.

Heck, they voted against gender affirming care because they think it only affects trans people when there's people with health conditions that require this kind of care (like me. A cis woman that produces too much estrogen that causes me a variety of health problems.)

Red states are behind in everything. Education, health, minimum wages but they're sure winning by being higher in crimes, sex crimes, incest and poverty.

They mooch off blue states taxes. They don't give as much as much back as they take. If it weren't for "demonrats" they'd be completely off the map.

Republican voters like living that way without realizing they could have been so much better.

They keep willingly voting for people that keep them in that life or worse... considering that these elections had very high stakes.

These elections were not like others in the past. He has too much power with the SC, senate and representatives.

Trump voters regretting their votes now should wipe words like freedom and patriot off their vocabulary because they have selfishly and quite stupidly fucked America.

Damn this shit was long, LMFAOOO.

[cigsaftersuh]

૮ trapped ྀིა .ᐟ

without another word, jaehyun turned and walked out of the living room, the sound of his footsteps heavier than they’d ever been. his shoulders were tight, and his breathing shallow, a mix of frustration and the overwhelming sting of everything jia had spewed out about his marriage.

“honestly, this is what happens when you rush into marriage,” she said, shaking her head. “he’s so young, so naive. getting married at his age was such a reckless decision. i don’t understand why you both allowed it.”

“allowed it?” jaehyun’s dad scoffed, his tone sharp. “jia, they’re adults. it wasn’t our decision to make, it was theirs. and you know what? they’ve been doing just fine.”

“fine?” jia’s voice pitched incredulously. “you think this is fine? him storming out like that? he can barely handle a conversation. he’s too young to carry the weight of a marriage, and y/n isn’t helping matters by running off with her friends every chance she gets.”

his dad’s jaw tightened, but he kept his tone measured. “there’s nothing wrong with y/n spending time with her friends. she has every right to maintain her relationships outside of her marriage — just like jaehyun does. that’s how healthy relationships work.”

jia rolled her eyes, setting her cup down with a clink. “healthy relationships? please. they’ve barely lived life on their own. how can you call it healthy when they’ve never even experienced life apart? they’re just clinging to some childhood fantasy, and one day, it’s going to fall apart. mark my words.”

“that’s enough,” his mom snapped, her voice finally rising. “you don’t get to come into our home and tear apart our son’s life like this. jaehyun and y/n have built something solid, something real, and your constant need to belittle them says more about you than it does about them.”

but jia wasn’t finished. “oh, come on,” she said, rolling her eyes. “i’m not the bad guy here. i’m just pointing out the obvious. you let him get married too young. you let him tie himself down to someone who clearly doesn’t know what it means to be a wife yet. and now look at him, storming out of the room because he can’t handle the truth.”

“stop,” jaehyun’s dad said firmly, his voice rising. “he walked out because he’s tired of you tearing apart his life, we all are. this isn’t about honesty… it’s is about you trying to pick apart something you don’t understand.”

leaning against the hallway wall, jaehyun ran a hand through his hair. the weight of the argument taking place on the other side allowed him to hear each of the harsh words leaving the elders mouths.

did i trap her? the thought struck like a hammer, unrelenting in its force. is this what she really wants? he stared blankly ahead as the questions churned in his mind. you were out with your friends right now, probably laughing and enjoying yourself, while he was in here, replaying every word jia had thrown at him. what if she feels like she’s missing out because of me?

his throat tightened, and a lump formed he couldn’t swallow. this isn’t fair to her. maybe jia’s right... maybe we should’ve waited. maybe i should’ve given her more time to just... be her. the guilt coiled tightly around his chest, squeezing until he could barely breathe. he blinked rapidly, but the tears blurred his vision before he could stop them.

she deserves so much more than this... more than me. his jaw clenched as the thought lingered, cutting deeper each time it resurfaced. he hated the effect jia’s words had on him, how they planted seeds of doubt where there had been none before. but the guilt wouldn’t let him push it away.

he sat there, lost in his own thoughts and fighting back tears, when he suddenly heard the faint jingle of your keychains against the doorknob.

against the doorknob to his house, yet everyone knew you were always welcome. you would always be welcome, in his home, his heart, anywhere pertaining to him.

it was a sound he knew too well, one that he’d grown used to and always brought him comfort. no one else would ever make that sound at this door. only you, his wife,

the familiar noise made his heart beat faster, and before he could even register the moment, the door creaked open. he didn’t need to look up to know it was you.

the warmth of your presence flooded him like a wave, but the storm of emotions crashing inside him only grew stronger. his stomach twisted, guilt and doubt churning inside.

prev. 𐙚 next

ㅡ my forever only.

with love,

© cigsaftersuh

ʚ taglist - open ɞ

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[ressioo]

can i ask for your thoughts about sunstone as a ship and their dynamic 🥺

Sorry for taking a while, words hard

God. Sunstone. Both in regular canon and SolarFlare they're absolute cringefails to me. The latter just hide it better. Gonna be talking about canon for the most part here

Under the cut because wall of text lmao

Honestly canon sunstone is pretty tragic? Its two flawed people making every single bad decision, and eventually losing eachother as a result. By the time they actually Think and realise what they both did wrong, its much too late to apologise and make things right

I think that if the circumstances were different they'd be able to have a really good, wholesome relationship

Maybe if Pebbles was less desperate to find the triple affirmative. Maybe if the situation before Moons collapse was less tense, if Suns contacted him earlier. If Suns had thought a little harder about the consequences of sending that gold pearl, if they were a little less weak for him, less indulgent. 

I suppose that hindsight is everything. They both regret what happened between them. Especially at the end there. 

Okay now for less depressing shit lmao

Their relationship was purely mentor/mentee for a little while and slowly turned into a very close friendship. They both enjoy art, poetry and music and share many views, which they bonded over. And while Suns might not share the same love for history that he has, they're more than willing to listen. And maybe go out of their way to find out new tidbits for him if they can

They never confess, i don't think. They both develop feelings, but Pebbles is too busy to pay much attention to it and Suns just doesn't quite have the nerve to do anything except hint at it. Though this Does end in them sending him a personalised ring via Spearmaster. Which. Is basically a marriage proposal. At least by Ancient standards.

Pebbles doesn't realise this, mostly because that is a tradition practiced purely by the People. And since he's not exactly aware or paying attention to his own feelings he doesn't clock it for what it is.

He does send them back a ring though. Basically treating it like exchanging friendship bracelets or something 💀 Suns about has a heart attack. From what they know he doesn't share their feelings, and they're too much of a coward to inform him about what the gesture meant, so. They end up unofficially officially married. And then unofficially divorced once the second pearl reaches him in Spearmaster's campaign

Pebbles finally gets his shit together sometime during Arti's campaign. She brings back a pearl about marriage traditions and it suddenly clicks for him. Not really the best time to find out, honestly. What with everything going on. Not even truly Finding Out, since he can't actually ask them if thats what the whole thing meant. 

They never speak again, and neither gets closure about it. They both keep their rings though.

-

Now a little bit about SolarFlare specifically because they actually get together and meet in person in that! Wont be able to say too much without brain getting on my case for revealing too much though lmao. SF sunstone are Extremely exaggerated in their everything, so obviously not saying canon compliant off the string would be quite like this 🙏

They dont become a thing until they've actually met in person, though the line between being close and being Close was blurred for a bit before this point

Pebbles is the one that says something first, and they become official after that

They're like,, really abnormal about eachother. Like its genuinely obsession for them. They be jealous and posessive and codependent as hell. Both of them. Its not healthy, but they are genuinely really happy with eachother. Kinda made for eachother in that way. They're eachother's favourite people and they Will make it other people's problem

End up marrying at some point (after having an actual conversation about it this time), and its both because they wanna show love and devotion but also because they're very about it being a way to claim eachother. And that being visible to others

I love them and their weird relationship

[todayisafridaynight]

what makes minedai even sadder is that we never rlly see daigo try to build a bond with anyone else like he did with mine it rlly shows how badly it effected him like yeah he reached out to shinada in y5 but that’s rlly it and he probably would wanna leave him alone after that and not involve him in any yakuza stuff so i don’t think they would’ve hung out or anything like that afterwards. All he rlly had were saejima and majima but they were more like babysitters than anything, wish we saw more of their dynamic tho like we did with majima and daigo in dead souls since that was fun and we were lowkey robbed but in canon he’s just as lonely as he was before majimas promise to kiryu. And mine is the only person he really had a meaningful relationship with romantic or not they were still really close and we don’t see that again with daigo ever (from what i recall after y3) ok sorry for rambling LMFAO

even with shinada, he reached out to him more so out of 'duty' and trying to make up for the misfortune that befell him because of yakuza than wanting to rekindle any kind of friendship they might have had in high school (though it sounds more like they were just acquaintances if shinada needing a second to remember who daigo was is anything), so yah i doubt they really had any kind of bond afterwards

dead souls really was the only time after Y3 where we got to see daigo be more sociable with someone, but its as you say majima and saejima are more like retainers than close friends

[aria0fgold]

Thinking more about my isat au and I'm gonna need to change a LOT more than I thought. First things first, Siffrin's connection to the wish. Since in Of gems and pages, all the wishes stayed the same. So why is Odile the one looping and not Siff? So basically, what I think I'd do in my au is that the Universe decided to change things up a bit.

The first time the Universe granted Siffrin the means to fulfill their wish, things went horribly bad (just look at Loop). So this time, the Universe decided to give this new Siffrin, something a lil different. They still gave Siffrin the timeloop But made Odile his proxy. So that Siffrin may have helpers in this new timeline, with Loop as the guide and Odile helping as well, it Should go better, right??? And since the wish is connected with Siffrin's emotions, the Universe can't just completely make it Odile's problem now, sooo basically... Siffrin can still remember Parts of a previous loop PRIOR to their deaths.

That means during the beginning of canon when Siff was crushed by a boulder, he remembers that. And found Loop as well, but when he accidentally ended up touching a tear, he now Doesn't remember being crushed by a boulder but by being frozen in time. At the same time, he ALSO doesn't remember Anything else prior to it. So he doesn't remember that there's a boulder that can kill him by the entrance of the House, he doesn't remember Loop. All he remembers is that somehow, one way or another, he was frozen in time within the House and needs to be more careful with the tears. And because of the way that the loops affect Siffrin now is faaar too different than how it affected Loop, he can't go forwards or backwards in time. Siff will always awaken back in the meadow and Loop will always have to do their whole speech all over again (which would most likely annoy them immediately cuz why? Why is it so different now? Why can't this Siffrin REMEMBER?)

Odile on the other hand, remembers ALL the loops and finds a lot of discrepancies with Siffrin. It takes awhile for her to meet Loop and they get to talk to each other. Their meeting would be pretty... rocky at first. Loop still getting regarded as a stranger by Odile, Loop finding out that Odile is the one getting affected by the timeloop from their own selfish wish. Even if that Siffrin isn't them, it doesn't change the fact that they both made the same wish. Loop thinkin bout being such a favourite cosmic joke of the Universe that not only were they turned into This, one of their family members are suffering cuz of them. And she doesn't even recognize them. It'd be pretty hard at first too cuz Loop doesn't know that their appearance changed yet, there's no mirror. For Loop, they might still look like Siffrin, right? But Odile's reaction to seeing them says otherwise.

Anyway in this au, stage wise, Odile is the actor, Siffrin is the director, and the Universe is the audience. Book wise, Odile is the character, Siffrin is the writer, and the Universe is the reader. Why is Siffrin the director or the writer and not the Universe? That's because the timeloops are Still connected to his emotions, if something he didn't want to think about happens like, that argument with Bonbon (just as an example. I'm wondering if that'll still happen here considering that only happened because of Siff had memories of all the loops in canon. He doesn't have that in this au anymore), time would loop back still, so in a way, Siff Is writing how the timeloops go.

[mishy-mashy]

Hi! I noticed you bring up fanfiction every once in a while, so do you have an ao3?

I DO

But the stuff I post here isn't actually written out and posted anywhere else, and my ao3 (posted stories) is pretty bare. Like, I only touch it to read other people's stuff at this point

Everything I do write is OC stuff though, and that's not everyone's jam

The stuff I do post here all comes from my notes for said fic ideas. They're all fleshed out enough that I can write them into proper stories. Like, the whole plot is figured out, I know where to end, character perspectives, all that jazz. I just don't write them out, since I don't have that motivation, and the stories would end up huge

I don't like posting the actual stories either. People have asked for updates on the new chapters I just put down, and I've run into a lot of copy-pasters. Even the few things I have on ao3 is having a mimic somewhere. So I otherwise keep everything to myself, or post little things here

I've been going through my past stuff lately to reorganize. It's fun. Even if they're old (some are over 5 years old), I find little gems that surprise me like these

(Unordinary; Re:Zero; BNHA)

Like- they aren't that bad. That's surprising. How old are these things???

[thebleedingeffect]

.

[puzzlekinq]

cant sleep because im seething with anger