#so i may be making a more substantial return

[rainphee]

im ok just been busy

[moonstruckme]

Mae I feel like we always see the boys doting on reader and I love it! But also I would love a lil fic where may be James or Sirius gets sick or injured and it's reader just taking care of him and being so cautious and loving and doting on him

Thanks for requesting!

cw: modern au, MCL injury, James is not good at recovery

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 912 words

Your senses prickle at a sound from the sitting room. 

“James,” you call warily, hands stilling in the dishwater.

“Yes, my angel?” 

“Are you sitting down?” 

A brief silence. 

“I found some exercises—” 

“James.” You round the corner to the sitting room to find your boyfriend lying on the floor, looking up at you with eyes big and guileless. You wipe your wet hands on your jeans. “You’re only supposed to be icing it,” you sigh. 

“There’s no harm in getting an early start on recovery, right?” He grins his lopsided grin, hopelessly endearing. “I found some exercises online and the website says I can start right away. They’re very gentle.” 

“I don’t think the website knows more about your knee than your team’s PT, lovely,” you say, kneeling beside him. You soothe your fingertips over the velcro edge of his brace. 

James gets injured fairly often playing rugby. That’s no new thing to either of you, but he’s not used to needing to take such a long break after an injury. He tore a ligament in his knee during a match last week—you don’t remember the exact name of the ligament, but the word collateral had seared itself into your brain, recognizable and frightening—and apparently that is one of the few things the team’s PT requires players to actually take a substantial leave for. James is due to start recovery therapy in a few days, but for now he’s only meant to be resting and icing the injury. He is not taking it well. 

“You could make it worse by doing more than you’re supposed to,” you tell him gently, stroking his calf below the brace. “Don’t, okay? I really don’t like seeing you hurt.” 

James’ expression softens. He sits up, giving you a nice kiss. “I’m okay, sweetheart.” 

“Don’t make it worse,” you say again. 

“Okay. I won’t.” 

“Thank you.” You kiss him in return, stroking the hair that curls by his ears. “Will you come sit back on the couch, please? Where are your crutches?” 

James makes a low sound, caught anew. “Upstairs.” 

“You didn’t even bring them down?” 

“I get along just fine without them,” he says, pecking your chin placatingly. “Don’t worry.” 

You sigh and coil his curl around your finger. James gives you a smile, sweet and hopeful. Don’t be mad, it begs you. 

Your lips turn up a bit in response as you stand and reach your hands down to him. “Come on, then.” 

James lets you help him back over to the couch. He flops down onto the cushions dejectedly, taking the ice pack when you give it to him and holding it to his knee. Sympathy swells in your ribcage. 

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I know you’re bored.” 

“It’s not your fault that it’s boring. I just wish I could do things I want to, like usual.” He tries on a grin for your benefit, a poor approximation of the real thing. “I know it won’t be for long.” 

You chew the inside of your lip. You know you have to get back to the dishes, but you can’t stand to leave him like this even to go to the next room. 

“What would you do, if your knee was like normal?” 

James’ grin turns wry. “I’d go to training.” 

“Okay, right.” You roll your eyes, leaning your hip against the side of the couch. “But while you were at training, all hot and tired and stuff, what would you be wishing you were doing instead?”

James lifts his eyebrows, contemplative. His gaze moves to you. “I suppose,” he says, “I’d be wishing I was here with you.” 

Your heart warms. “What would we be doing?” 

He grins. 

“You’re not cleared for that, either,” you say quickly, laughing. 

“Fine, fine.” He feigns annoyance, but his smile gives him away. “In that case, I’d settle for a film and a good cuddle.” 

You nod, stepping closer to the couch. “I can do that,” you say. “I don’t know how good it’ll be, but…” 

“Oh, you haven’t got anything to worry about there, angel.” James takes your hip once you’re close enough, tugging you down beside him. You’re careful not to fall too close to his injured leg. “You’ve got an excellent track record.” 

“Do I?” 

He hums, kissing you. 

“I’m not hurting you, sitting here?” 

“You’re perfect,” he assures you. He gives your hip another tug to bring you closer. “Get comfortable, I’ll tell you if it’s too much.” 

You do as he says, still cautious as you cozy up to his side, encouraging him to lean into you. James rewards you by nuzzling his face into the side of yours, happy as a clam. His voice softens as he drops it to a more genuine register. 

“I’m not keeping you from anything,” he asks, “am I?”

You shake your head. “The dishes can wait. I’d rather be with you.” 

“Christ, lovie. I can still do dishes.” 

“You’re supposed to be resting!” 

James makes an amused huffing sound. “Okay, new deal. After the film, I’ll go do the dishes while you handle the more laborious task of laundry or something. Sound fair?” 

When you’re silent, he laughs. 

“You can’t force me to sit on this couch forever! I’ll atrophy!” 

“Maybe we can see how you feel after the film.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” He stamps a kiss on your cheek. “I’ll sneak and do the dishes in the night if I have to.” 

“You will not.”

[anthurak]

So with everything we learned and saw in Episode 4 from Angel, Valentino, Charlie and Husk, here’s a little theory on how the Hotel crew saving Angel from Valentino might play out. Particularly in how Husk’s status as a former Overlord may factor into things.

Because I have a hunch it’s actually going to be Husk, rather than Charlie who gets fed up first and goes out to make a real attempt at getting Angel away from Valentino, given everything we saw between Husk and Angel in this episode. Specifically, Husk aims to lure Valentino into gambling for Angel’s contract.

Now that raises the question of what exactly Husk could gamble with. I see two possibilities:

Option One, Husk full on bluffs Valentino that he still has substantial power as an Overlord and has been hiding it all this time, tempting him with more souls and power. And as we’ve seen most notably in Episode 2, Val in kind of a massive fucking idiot, so I could see him actually falling for this. Essentially, Husk gambles with nothing, save his own soul, for a chance to save Angel.

Option Two, Husk actually gets his power BACK from Alastor. Specifically through fulfilling some mysterious, nebulous condition Alastor set up for him. It could even be that this is what sets up Husk to gamble Val for Angel’s freedom. Alastor returns Husk’s power as an Overlord because he’s curious as to what Husk will do with it now. Which we see, is putting it all on the line again for a chance to save Angel.

Whichever way we get to it, we find Husk in a high-stakes card game with Valentino. And of course, Husk does the classic trope of NOT telling his friends or even the guy he’s doing this for what he’s doing to ‘keep them safe’ and all that. Of course, they do find out. Which will come into play later…

As for the all-important gamble; Husk actually does WIN legitimately against Valentino. However, because Valentino is… well, Valentino he welches on the deal and attacks Husk, and perhaps a recently arrived Angel as well.

Now in the event that Husk was bluffing Valentino the whole time and is actually helpless against a fully-powered Overlord, this would be when Alastor, from afar, actually returns Husk’s own power as an Overlord as some offhand, magnanimous whim. Which of course now allows Husk to actually fight back against Valentino.

What ensues is a full and proper fight between Husk/Angel and Valentino, with all the requisite emotional drama of Angel and Husk admitting their feelings for each other and all of Valentino’s shittiness as a person coming out in force. Maybe like an mlm version of the Bees vs. Adam fight.

However, despite getting his power as an Overlord back, Husk ultimately turns out to not be as powerful as Valentino. Alternatively, perhaps he never gets his power back at all and we just skip to here from Husk winning the bet. Whichever way we get here, Husk and Angel are now at the non-existent mercy of Valentino.

Which is precisely when CHARLIE shows up.

And I imagine what ensues plays out in a flash. Like everyone is only just registering that Charlie has appeared when suddenly everything is on fire. We get only the briefest glimpses, perhaps only in silhouette, of the full-sized horns on Charlie’s head, the great leathery wings coming out of her back and the pitchfork in her hand before she has Valentino by the throat and the mothman starts BURNING, screaming in pain as he is consumed in hellfire.

Basically, I feel that after this episode we are going to see Husk be the one to step up first to try and save Angel from Valentino, given everything we saw between the pair this episode. But at the same time, I think the interactions between Charlie and Valentino, particularly Charlie starting to transform in rage, sets her up as the one who’s going to ultimately put Val down. Specifically via giving us a glimpse at Charlie’s true power.

And I do say glimpse because I imagine the full and proper reveal of Charlie’s ‘Devil Form’ is almost certainly going to be saved for when she’s forced to take on the likes of Adam and the Exorcists, the ones who have been set-up as proper antagonists to Charlie herself.

[celesomnis]

❝ Loosen Up Your Buttons. . . ❞

Nyoka Wadjet x Photographer Reader

The Prefect assists Nyoka with what they expect to be a small and casual photo-shoot for his magicam profile. What transpires is the most breath-loss the Prefect's has ever experienced in a mere hour's time.

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@cozymochi and @oddberryshortcake 's slitheringly handsome oc makes a return, baby

you know I had to do it to em.

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Now, truth be told, you didn't exactly grasp the huge draw to Magicam.

It seemed not to be dissimilar to your universe's version of instagram, and maybe fused with facebook too based on some of the interface.

Your old friends back home had always found it amusing that you weren't a social-media-bug, despite being so proficient in digital photography.

The short answer to that was: you preferred candids. And every photo on people's socials went through more edits and "touch-ups" than celebrity magazine covers.

Now, by some miraculous grace of fate, one of the first things you acquired when you entered this brand new world was the thing you can scarcely imagine living without - a camera.

A normal one? No. Professional one? Doubtful. Crowley gave it to you, after all.

But until you can get home, the pictures it develops are a high enough quality to satisfy your itch.

Now, even though you didn't exactly shy away from expressing your love for your hobby t your new friends here, it still took the NRC a little while to catch on to your exact talents.

It wasn't until Vil payed you a (shockingly substantial) amount of Thaumarks to photograph a few headshots for Epel that the school got its first a real taste for your skills.

And this was where a certain beastman came slithering back onto your radar.

"A photoshoot?" you repeat as you stall from placing down your final knight. You were in the middle of one of your now weekly sessions of chess matches, currently pretending you weren't vitally aware how badly you were losing this time. "Like, a real one? For your magicam account?"

"Yes." his reply is low and matter-of-fact, and, you notice, without shame.

Not that he should feel shame. Of all people, you think he should not. Every time you see him, it just re-instills in you how unnatural perfect he is.

You have to break yourself free of your own thoughts, teasing him to cover your blush, "Oh? So you don't 'have a guy' for that already?"

"I will," Nyoka leans more onto his knuckle, making the window light flicker across his glasses. "Have you. If you agree to it."

That sets off the heat in your face tenfold. You make a clumsy move on the board that Nyoka takes instant advantage of. A few more moves go by, between you both, before you finally answer.

"Alright" you say, holding up a finger, "On one condition. Outside of lighting and contrast adjustments, the photos get no edits."

You can't tell if the face he gives is because he finds that condition foolish, or if he is minutely approvingly towards your integrity.

Regardless, leans forward a tad more, showing off the sharp juts of his collarbones, and murmurs, "Very well." before checkmating you.

May the Seven have mercy on me, you think to yourself.

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The Seven do not have mercy at all, and in fact, must have banded together for your downfall.

Because when you walk into the private Savanaclaw room where Nyoka texted you to meet him, your knees almost buckle.

"Wadjet." The sight before you is off-guard catching that you call him by his surname.

He gives you only an acknowledging "Mmh?" while adjusting his braids over the many, many defined muscles of his back. Each one sticking out against his sheer shirt.

You think you die while this happens. You're still standing, and awake, but you aren't breathing, so you can't be too sure either way.

"You're-" comes squeaking from your throat.

You were about to say "you're wet", because the statement is true. He is wet. His entire upper half is drenched enough that his shirt has become see-through.

And it so baffling that this is the reality you're in that you nearly just blurt "you're wet" at him, but you can't say that. Not out loud. That can't come out anything but wrong.

He's watching you now, pinning you with those snake charmer eyes. Without the glare of his glasses, the warm sunlike colors in his eyes shine unobscured, drying your throat like desert sand.

Oh hell, prefect, get ahold of yourself. Please. You're a photographer. He asked you because he must trust you to be professional. Do not ruin this already fragile friendship by being stupid.

"You're ready... for the pictures... like that."

Oh god.

"You were late. I got prepared to keep ahead of schedule." Nyoka points out dryly.

He surely must to see how disheveled your expression is, and how your eyes keep skating down his chest, but you're thankful he isn't bringing it up.

You force a breath in and out. "Right. Let's- let's just get started. Where do you want to stand?"

"Are you not the photographer?" Nyoka challenges coolly, "And I not the subject? Your job is to adjust me into the ideal image."

Hauntingly erotic visage or no, he is still the Nyoka you've been playing chess with for the passed weeks.

To yourself, you mutter, "like you need me for that.", while pointing your camera to a few different spots in the room. Looking for the points with the best lighting.

"Over here." you decide, directing him between two deep red curtails.

There's a scoff from him, but he moves obediently to the position. The first pose he tries is a simple one. Raising his arms into a loose grasp of each curtain, stretching his wet shirt up slightly up his stomach.

You swallow hard.

"Uh, maybe, um, turn a little. To the side."

Nyoka edges his body sideways slowly, waiting for your signal to stop. His movement is languid, smooth and fluid as water. His face, though is as impassive as ever, clearly unaffected by the alluded high intimacy of this venture at all.

But in front of the lens, it turns smoldering. His professional training kicking in. His eyes burn you, and his lips are very slightly pursed in a way that accentuates their shape.

The camera is shaking in your hands. If these photos come out blurry, there'll be nothing else to blame except you.

With all your will, you steel your arms.

"Good. Can you," you hear yourself say, "Curl your tale, around your body."

After a minute, his tail slides up from its spot on the floor, and begins to spiral around his waist, peaking up into the lens view of the shot.

"Higher?" you rasp.

He does what you ask. The tail curls up until its a loop frames his abdomen, and the tip is grazing a loose hug to his chest. You swear that somehow you can feel the tail as if its on your own body instead.

Photos snap. Your heart won't stop slamming itself into your ribs.

His scales glitter with the perspiration on his neck. The pose you adjusted him to reveals the contours of his figure like some kind of marble statue in a museum. His skin glowing in this warm, fiery light.

These are probably the best photos you'll take in your whole life, and you aren't sure you can ever look at them again, not if you want to maintain any semblance of sanity in front of Nyoka from now on.

You stop clicking.

"Okay... I got- I got it."

Nyoka relaxes into a more familiar pose, crossing his arms and inclining his head by way to call you over. Wanting to see the results.

You inch over to him. You mean to just hand him the camera, even though it feels like you're handing someone your own severed limb every time you let people scrutinize your work.

But instead, he leans over you. His tall form hunches to peer over one of your shoulders, his wet shirt pressing onto your back, and his hand grabs over your's that's still on the camera.

Nyoka lightly pushes you finger aside with his own and hits the scrolling button. Reviewing the footage.

You do nothing because you actually are dead this time. Every ounce of breath has exited your lungs. There's nothing left inside you except mush and a loud, deafening roaring sound at your's ears.

A hum blows passed your ear. "So Schoenheit wasn't exaggerating. You are well at what you do. I could be impressed, mouse."

Oh yeah, you're dead.

Some mild eternity later, Nyoka rescues your soul by detaching from you. Walking to grab a small towel and pressing it over his neck.

"Adjust the lighting on those final four how you see fit," you hear him instruct you distantly, "I will chose the best one when you send them to me. Have them sent to me before next week's shoot, we'll discuss pay and post dates then."

Life crashes back upon you.

You whip around. Nearly drop the camera, fumble for it, and squeeze it into your both arms like it can protect you from the prospect you just heard.

"Next week!?"

"Next week," Nyoka confirrms. His eyes find your's, they pool heat into like lava. "You're my 'guy' for this now. Wasn't that the deal."

Oh. What the hell have you gotten yourself into.

[rancidhomo]

I wouldn't usually be all in on anything related to vacant rich white guys but I think its the way that the vapidity almost imperceptibly ebbs every now and then that has unfortunately captivated me very much.

Based on 95% of Saxon's words and behavior, like Chelsea I also would have quickly come to the conclusion that Saxon is soulless, interacting with his environment and other people in superficial ways that barely penetrate even a centimeter past his skin, never compelled to truly engage with the world, or allow any force to do even a little bit of substantive work inside him.

Most people unfortunate enough to have a conversation with him would probably assume that he's never known love in his life - and that he doesn't even know he hasn't, either. That's why it's so satisfying to me to witness the moments where Lochlan does something that briefly catalyzes evidence of something substantial existing within Saxon.

e.g., when Lochlan places his hand on Saxon's back and runs his fingers through his hair, Saxon's immediate unguarded look of euphoric overwhelm at the intimacy of the moment is absolutely wild. How few gestures of genuine, intentional affection has Saxon been the recipient of? For a moment, Lochlan's action allowed us to glimpse an interiority/depth of emotion in Saxon that he usually seems devoid of.

Also, in Saxon's flashback to the kiss, he is effusing such a palpable glow of vulnerability. You can feel it with the positioning of their bodies (Lochlan higher and bending down to Saxon), the warmth of the light, the softness of the kisses that Lochlan is bestowing on Saxon, Saxon letting the back of his fingers lightly graze across Lochlan's neck.

He is exposing his longing for tenderness. Lochlan's love and affection briefly shows us that Saxon is a human capable of feeling. He is a person relishing connection and intimacy with another person on mutually-informing emotional and physical levels, something that I'd assume neither of them have experienced before.

I will say that the story as Mike White has written it makes sense to me. These are two lonely brothers, raised at different times by bizarrely disconnected wealth-obsessed parents who either didn't teach the boys how to love others/cultivate relationships in healthy ways, or perhaps did and said things that actively hindered their children's emotional development and capacity for connection. Lochlan as the youngest child alone in a house with uninterested and distant parents, no instinct for developing love and intimacy with others and terrified that his loneliness will be forever. Saxon as the oldest child, out in the world grinding for useless and empty experiences with people just as vacant as him, incapable of getting anyone to love him and terrified that his whole life will be devoid of sincere intimacy.

I buy Sam Nivola's theory that Lochlan isn't sexually attracted to Saxon and that his actions were influenced more by his people-pleasing impulses. I think he recognized that Saxon has a physical/sexual attraction to him and, knowing how much Saxon prioritizes physical sexual experiences, wanted to offer gratification/consummation as a form of connection.

Although it may not be distinctly sexual, I do think that Lochlan gets a tremendous amount of pleasure from making Saxon feel good. He is happy to tenderly kiss the affection-starved brother that he loves deeply and that he knows loves him just as much in return. Saxon seems to actively crave both Lochlan's emotional and sexual attention, and Lochlan seems to enjoy giving it.

Even though they are more-or-less strangers in each other's lives due to their age gap, their love for each other is likely the only easy, natural source of good feelings they have. The distance between them in age/life stages/actual physical space, however, makes access to those feelings difficult. It makes sense that two siblings from a fucked up family, one or maybe both of them queer in a repressive conservative religious environment, with severely stunted emotional development, would interpret each other's love as the only thing that could bring them happiness- but more importantly, the only thing that will keep them from dying alone and unloved. It makes sense that in circumstances like that, the boys wouldn't know how to stop themselves from conflating and seeking to gratify all of their impulses for connection, with each other, all at once.

[hotheadedhero]

Now hear me out-

Bayverse turtles giving reader a spiderman kiss. Like maybe the turtles haven't seen their beloved significant other for a while and decide to sneak away from patrol for a split second to give them an upside down smooch.

💜

AN: Hearing you loud and clear my lovely, this is frickin adorable, thank you! Big spiderman fan over here <3 Hope you weren't waiting too long, even being on holiday wasn't going to stop me finishing this 👀

Kiss me

Bay Turtles x Reader

Leonardo

You are in the middle of reading on your couch when there’s knocking at your window. A set of rhythmic taps that play out in a particular pattern. A secret code indicative of who is waiting outside your living room. With a joyous grin, you spring up onto your feet and pull the curtains open. You expected to see your boyfriend outside but you did not expect him to be hanging upside down from your upstairs neighbour's part of the fire escape. Given the fact that yours is currently classed as unsafe to use, this makes a lot more sense.

The set of circumstances that led to such a problem is not your fault. Whoever had lived here prior, assumed it would be a great idea to place a blow-up paddling pool on it for those dreadfully hot summers. The funny thing about chlorine water, however, is that chlorine water accelerates the corrosion of metals. Much to your derisive luck, it didn’t start taking effect until a few months after you had moved in. Without any substantial evidence, the blame is being passed over to you and that is not a bill you have the funds to meet. Hence, you are awaiting a hearing and, hopefully, following approval to get it fixed without burning a said hole in your pocket. Landlords, am I right?

You open the window for Leonardo. “I see you came to hang out,” you quip before smiling awkwardly. “Sorry about the broken fire escape.”

He shakes his head, knowing that you should be the last person apologising for it, but decides to make light of the situation with his own humour. "You may want to look into that."

"If you got a spare grand or two lying around," you joke in return, "I'd be happy to."

Leo breathes a quiet laugh and puckers his lips. Figures that he would only have time for a quick greeting, so you may as well make it worthwhile when you have the chance. Happily, you comply and lean forward for a kiss. You smile into it and, in doing so, you feel him do the same. It can be hard to find the time for small moments such as is but they are always cherished.

"Now go keep us safe,” you mumble against his lips. “I’ll come by the lair when you’re done.”

One last kiss is exchanged, trying to savour it as best you can, before he inevitably has to disappear into the night again.

Raphael

Sometimes dating can be a whirlwind of mystery and uncertainties: days where one wonders if such a thing is tenable. Raphael knew your relationship would come with certain hurdles - albeit this isn't the worst it could be - but he didn't think you'd go this long without seeing each other. With you working during the day and him the night, planning time together is a challenge. For the quieter nights, you’re usually too tired from your job. There’s the occasional drop-in on your days off but it’s a similar problem what with him needing sleep, too. Not now, though. The frustration is settled thickly into his skin. Perhaps that’s why he’s working so hard on his crunches. Replace the mental burn with a physical one.

Deciding to turn up the burn, he lifts himself onto his pull-up bar, hooks his knees over it, and resumes working on his core. Raph gets close to a hundred reps before he hears the rapid pitter of feet coming straight for the lair. He prepares to descend to the ground and greet you but you rush into his gym and grab his face before he gets the chance.

"Just wanted to drop by quick," you sputter feverishly before smacking your mouth into his. "Can't stay long."

Then you kiss him again; a long, deep, and tender press of your lips upon his. He falls into it enough that the raw emotion is clear but not so much that he slips from the pull-up bar. The fact that you’ve hurried in before your shift just to give him some quick love means the world to this big lug. He should think about missing you more often if it means the universe will summon you to him. One hand outstretches to pull your head closer but you move away just as he's about to. Damn.

Sprinting off, you shout out a last, "Love you," before disappearing off into one of the many sewer tunnels.

He just hangs there gaunt, blinking for the after-image of you that is now completely gone. Had he not been taken so sharply off guard, he probably would have made a grab for you, insisting that you call in sick and stay. In a perfect world, maybe. A short huff of amusement blows out of his nostrils and he returns to his workout, now fueled with a new, more desirable burn.

With a smirk and underlays of that soft smile you coax out of him, he whispers under his breath, “Love you, too.”

Donatello

As far as work days go, this one has been a doozy and getting back home couldn’t possibly be a more sweet reward. There aren’t many floors to climb but you’re so tired that you opt to use the lift instead of the stairs; a little self-treat and a decision that you quickly regret when it comes to a halt. Your poor, weary body jostles with the force of it stopping abruptly and you whine. Please, don’t do this. After the day you’ve had, this is the last thing you need.

Just when you think it can’t possibly get any worse, there’s a thud from right above your head. Bandits? Burglary? A raid? All stupid ideas in the grand scheme of things but panic is leading you to such irrational thoughts. With your rucksack as your only defence, you hold it up ready to bring a smackdown if needs be. Clanging. Creaking. Weight shifting. Then, the ceiling’s latch falls and down comes a head.

“Mind if I drop by?” your turtle boyfriend asks as he hangs all topsy-turvy in front of you.

“Oh, thank Mercury, it’s you,” you heave, letting your bag drop to place a hand on your chest. The prior anxiety wears off just enough for a new one to beckon and you straighten up. “Wait, the security cams-”

“Already taken care of,” he reassures with a weirdly cheeky grin. “How’s this for some spontaneous romance?”

Slowly, your face pinches and points up at Donnie, not overly impressed with what’s insinuated here. So, this was all curated by him, was it? Possibly a cute plan from his perspective but you’re much too drained to see it that way.

You rub your eyes with your thumb and finger and sigh. “I wouldn’t consider giving me a near damn heart attack romantic, Don.”

“Would it be considered somewhat romantic if I were to say that I also reset and upgraded your lift system? It shouldn’t malfunction for another 5 years now.”

Knowing he’d find a way to have a sweet reason for this, you can hardly hold back your smile. It’s a bit out there but you also have to remind yourself of who you’re dating. You sigh again, this time in fake disdain, and lean off the wall to kiss him. Judging by the little hum in his throat, he must be feeling pretty proud of himself. When you pull away, you adjust his slightly crooked glasses.

“The best thing you could do right now is let me get to my apartment,” you note with a pat on his cheek. “Please?”

His eyes light up and he disappears back up from whence he came to get things running. Getting back home may have been trickier than you anticipated but it isn’t without its perks for being able to see Donnie. A conversation may need to be had about his choices of flirtatious spontaneity, however.

Michelangelo

In the late hours of the evening, you had decided to start settling down for the night. The typical, run-of-the-mill routine: brush your teeth, wash your face, and get into some cosy pyjamas. A nice movie sounds like a good idea before you hit the hay. You leave the bathroom to get a start on choosing one when you remark something in the air. It isn’t clear but there is an unspecified something different with your apartment since you’ve been in the bathroom. A smell? Or perhaps a few objects that now appear to be out of place. There wasn’t any noise to indicate a new presence. Ah. You know exactly what’s going on. Keeping back a laugh, you place your hand on your hips.

“I know you’re up there, Mikey,” you say, not even bothering to look up at your intruder.

“Aw, babe,” he whines from the ceiling as he lets the upper half of his body fall and hang limply in front of you. “Ruining the moment here.”

These types of hijinks may have pulled a fast one over you back in the day but you’ve grown more than accustomed to them by now, much to your boyfriend’s dismay. He isn’t inherently set on scaring your socks off - as much as that is a bonus - but he likes surprising you, seeing the sparkle in your eyes when you realise it’s him. He looks like a bit of a wounded puppy for the fact, so it only seems fair that you perk him back up again. Playfully rolling your eyes, you take a few steps forward and kiss him sweetly. It’s safe to say that this is much better than getting you all frightened. Regardless of that, you have to quietly question how he’s managed to find the time to come and attempt a prank at your expense in the first place.

“Mikey,” you hear one of his brothers yell from outside, “Don’s picked up on a burglary from the police scanners. We gotta go. Now!”

That answers that, then.

“Duty calls, angel,” he breathes out, clearly bummed out but feigning it against his lax grin. “You know how it is.”

Sensing his disappointment, you peck his lips again and grin encouragingly. “Go get ‘em, hero.”

He shoots you a wink and lets himself drop to the floor before jumping out of your window. You watch him bound off over rooftops, hollering and likely getting an ear chewed off by his brothers. Mikey hates to leave his sweetness behind but you know just what to say to get him fired up. Those thugs shall endure a swift beat down, so he can return for his “hero’s reward” quickly.

If you liked this, there's a real neat one by @theyhavetakenovermylife with the 2012 boyos with the same concept! (and also you just have to check out all of their works, they're amazing 🙏😭💕)

[celestialtarot11]

Solar Return obs—

hey friends! i hope you enjoy the solar return observations down below, i sincerely appreciate any comment and feedback! 🤍

SR Moon in the SR 7h in virgo—afraid to trust, open up, and seeks to analyze self and others as a form of protection. The moon sitting here also signifies a connection that feels aligned with your growth and challenges you to face those fears. You can be more inclined to staying alone this year despite the relationship opportunities that arise, and looking at mercuries condition will tell you how your emotions will play out.

Venus 12h SR—The natives relationships feel more private, such as your financial resources, and your sensuality. There’s less of a spotlight, so this year it’s more about going inward and reflecting on how your past lenses have affected you. Whatever was unhealed (especially if Venus sits in a water sign) will come up, so think deep wounds, patterns overlooked in financial and relationship matters.

Mars debilitated in Taurus/detriment in cancer SR—Pay attention here, because your mars ruled houses in this chart will need more time, attention and energy. With mars weakened here substantially, these mars ruled houses can struggle. So let’s take mars in taurus 11h. Long term aspirations require in depth exploration, and patience. This year requires you to slow down and reassess your desires, are they feeding the same belief system enforced onto you (even if it was unhealthy)? Or do they truly cater to your personal growth? There can also be a revulsion around social media this year, a strong need for privacy. These natives can often be seen disappearing or just removing themselves from social media altogether. Friendships especially will be outgrown. If mars conjuncts NN retrograde, this is even more symbolic of a time of going inward, disconnecting and retreating from the social world.

Now the mars houses being observed for example: 4h and 5h are affected, in placidus, and so is the 10h. The natives year regarding family life and exploration of joy is heavily impacted due to authority figures, or a predominant father figure. There can be a sense of overwhelm, a sense of powerlessness under these circumstances, as the native is put into situations to take the lead and navigate partnerships, especially, family. This can be a big time in which the natives struggles with: should I choose myself or them? Especially if Chiron falls in the 10h, along with a weak Jupiter (heavily afflicted, or retrograde)

Jupiter is the protector so when afflicted it can indicate a struggle with finding emotional safety and peace internally, and externally. It can also signify the native feeling pessimistic, hopeless and stuck in their cycles.

SR Leo mercury 2h making an aspect to SR Saturn 8h in Aquarius—very interesting set up as the native is a charismatic, influential and seemingly powerful speaker and motivator. At some point the native is encouraged to communicate deeply and openly to someone or a group/ community of some kind, but feels strained and desolate. Think of it like this, Leo’s energy is warm and rambunctious, and very well the native has a charming presence, and the 8h is heavy, and cold with Saturn’s influence. When it’s time to face the horrors of their past and certain events play out for healing, it feels cold. A certain kind of cold sinking into their bones. Saturn 8h does thrive in growth through time, and consistent dedication and development. This can also mean communication skills will improve regarding boundaries.

Financially, the native can take an interest in the occult and seek to build their revenue through this. But with an opposition, this wont necessarily come easy, because there’s a certain heaviness and restriction felt either from learned conditioning about money, or the “taboo” topics they find themselves looking into. It may not even be motivated by financial means at first, but to liberate themselves from pain. They can also find themselves thinking deeply about the afterlife a lot more, and have a need to figure it out.

7h SR stellium in gemini—Interestingly enough this native was alone a lot through this year, even though we see the 7h as welcoming new connections. I think it’s because of the way the planets sit inside. SR Jupiter doesn’t do well in gemini and already struggles. SR moon tightly conj SR Jupiter, and mars has a weak conjunction to the moon as well. The native struggles to embody themselves in relationships, especially emotionally (sag 1h). It’s easier to flow mentally, and stay as the observer. SR Jupiter conj SR moon indicates powerful influence over emotions and such, when debilitated. There’s a struggle to externalize wisdom, as Jupiter feels full but restrained, so it prefers boxes and rigidity. Theres a tendency for self isolation here and analysis of oneself with gemini, leading to a lack of long term connection with others. The mind is overactive. The ruler of the 7h which is mercury, sits in Leo at 2 degrees, freshly entering the 8h. That energy makes more sense when look at it lol. There’s a need for sacredness from others, and respect for autonomy, and a sort of, “i need to protect myself,” which then translates into: isolation, which creates stagnation, and connections that are flimsy and not rooted. There’s potential, but no substance.

SR Saturn squaring the SR 7h—Well, this makes even more sense. Saturn also retrogrades which fails to provide structure and stability needed to handle the development of the 7h which we see as connections, social interactions, and people. There’s an inability to get around, and people act more as mirrors than supportive relationships. Saturn squares Jupiter and moon here equally, suggesting the native felt they performed better alone. Where does Saturn sit? The 3rd house. What the native wants and sees in their mind is not very well translated into their connections. There seems to be a split, confusion, or fantasy not meeting reality as Saturn retrogrades in pisces.

SR Venus in late gemini degrees (29) about to enter cancer—I love this blend of energy. Its not quite gemini or cancerian, but mixed, suggesting a need for flow emotionally. A need to step back from mental processing and get in touch with emotional processing, especially with that late degree. I love it because it helps the native realize analyzing may be more hurtful right now in their journey. Somatic releases become important too at this time. The native can take on a sensual approach to abundance and money as well, finding that when they surrender and let go, this abundance flows in.

Let me know if ya’ll want more 🤍 all likes comments and reblogs are appreciated.

Extra

Paid readings 🤍

[snowleopardcrk]

more symbolism!!!

ah yes, more Midnight Lily, a silverbell cameo and two Moonflower doodles. AU by @cuppajj

For Moonflowers story, we have her main conflict with her father, Saint Vanilla Cookie. But what about Midnight Lily Cookie, her mother? To give a little context for whats coming up, Moonflowers story theming around the Saint where Moonflower symbolizes the Moon, which includes the Solar Eclipse to contrast the Saints light themed imagery. Plus Moonflowers additional and more religious theming being based on the Spirit of Apostasy.

It is abundantly clear that Midnight Lily is an enabler of the other Neo Beasts, while to some extent understandable as she is the weakest of the Neo Beasts (she has long crossed the line of it being acceptable).

To compliment well with the general religious theming, I did additional research into the role of a mother in the lens of the Bible. 'the mother is one who "binds" the family together, holding them together individually and collectively through her love and actions' Despite how broken the family is, the only remaining connection that Moonflower has with the Saint IS Midnight Lily. And in return, she does care for her daughter and the Saint at some level. Yet, she does nothing to genuinely mend what has been broken (no one is, Moonflower is afraid of her father and the Saint is so delusional that he believes that this is the best course of action to save everyone). This fits her pattern of enabling and being generally passive to the world around her, for the most part.

Another aspect that I have neglected to mention is her slow-burn of a plan, she seeks by the end to have the others at least playing by her rules, but also not liking when her children do things she does not like. This is now territory where I do a lot of guess work and personal thoughts n' research so this is very much subject to change if anymore gets revealed.

How I have understood the few tidbits we get about the Beast of Sovereignty, she is an enabler and insecure about being the weakest. And I think her insecurity in some way, even if unintentional may reflect on her relationships where she is the one in power. In general, she is fine with her kids, generally passive until they get too unruly. At that point, she will remind them with harsh words who the mother is. I'd like to note quickly, she will NEVER get physical. She only uses WORDS. It is also important to note that she does wish for her child to understand where she is coming from. She is an enabler because she holds little power over the beasts, but in dynamics where she is the one in power, this side vanishes for the most part. Despite valuing sovereignty I believe she still wants to retain some level of control so Cookies don't do things she does not like. This is generally in line with how leadership generally operate, they don't care when you're doing smth positive, but when it turns negative, that's when it starts turning sour.

As for the actual arc of Midnight Lily and Moonflower, I have a general framing but it is difficult to make something as substantial as the one she has with Saint Vanilla. Gotta wait until I get more lore and story for the gal. But in short, it is a conflict of the two trying to make each other understand their respective sides. With Moonflower trying to save her mother, her only remaining parental figure from being a beast- while Midnight Lily seeks to make Moonflower truly understand her side and hopefully have Moonflower join her permanently.

Heres other tidbits for Moonflower and her relationship with the Creme Republic. For her ventures to the Silver Kingdom are actually secret. She is a very powerful and talented magic user (similar to her parents), so her travelling long distances quickly is very possible. Moonflower is already an outcast in the Republic, it is well known who her parents are. And Cookies keep their distance, there are very few Cookies who come and check in her. Its mostly some scientists who are researching the neo beasts (espresso, maybe, depends on his condition in this au), Clotted Cream Cookie, GingerBrave, Financer (sort of, she tags along the Consul) and depending on the direction of the story, Madelaine Cookie(I will start really brewing something here once more stuff comes out~). She stays isolated in her lab in the undercity, she never comes out, and when she does, she hides her face and just retrieves things like food or research material. It is normal for her to not talk with anyone for well over a week with nothing but a single lost Raisin Crow to keep her company. I'd like to note that this raisin crow is now an albino, and Black Raisin tasked Moonflower to take care of it since it was bullied and ousted by the other raisin crows (I took inspo from the myth, but it is generally agreed that white color corvids are subordinate to the colored ones).

But she is also an outcast in the silver kingdom, despite being Midnight Lilys kid (its a well known fact), she has gotten into disagreements with their monarch and isn't the upmost loyal member- she has a strong stigma around her. Silverbell Cookie does take pity on Moonflower.

That's all for now. I'm gonna lay down, I've done so much research...I silently weep at the thought of fully showing the complexity of the three in full force.

[the-daily-bugle-official-blog]

Dear readers, it has been a long hard road since the blip. Reuniting families, housing those in need, protecting the vulnerable. We thought the worst was over, WE WERE WRONG.

SHIELD, the Avengers, the X men and many more groups we trusted have managed for years to keep the world in the dark about the fact that there are an infinite number of parallel universes along with our own, and now people from those universes have begun to travel into our own. The implications of this are terrifying, you could be killed and replaced by an alternate version of you. Villains we believed dead could return and cause panic and destruction. The peace we fought so hard for once Thanos was defeated may be gone for good, and we were kept in the dark about it by elites, government officials and so-called 'heroes' who only want to further their own interests.

So why now? Why at such a vulnerable time are we being flooded with a barrage of foreign visitors, many of whom intend to stay? Many people wish to order a complete multiversal border shutdown until we can figure out what is going on, and I wholeheartedly agree. Already this week I saw three, yes three, spidermen swinging through the streets. If we do not put a stop to, or at least regulate multiversal travel, only chaos and destruction will follow.

So how do you protect yourself and your family? Well remember to keep tabs on all members of your family, perhaps with a word only those from your universe will know so you can rat out infiltrators. Remember to stay safe and report any mishaps or suspicious behaviour to the authorities, and to stay subscribed to the Daily Bugle to keep our business afloat, so you can learn the truth from an unbiased news source. To join our daily newsletter comment underneath one of our posts to be added to the list. Be sure to comment your thoughts about the multiverse question below, or leave an anonymous submission to get potentially featured in a later news story.

– J Jonah Jameson

––––���–––––––––––––––––––––––––– Editor's note: Honestly I'm not sure what to add. Its the same 'guard the border' nonsense we've all heard a million times. Crime has not increased substantially as people from other universes arrive, and there are no reported cases of people being replaced by variants of themselves. If anything, new people from other universes are a great benefit, and can help give us new insights into the world we might not consider otherwise. This is just fear-mongering meant to make us afraid of of the multiverse. Personally, I feel much safer with more than one Spiderman around. Lord knows he needs some help. – J.E. - Lead Editor

@official-buckybarnes @multiverse-peterbparker @peterparker-thespiderman @peter-ben-parker @peterparker-who @the-real-peterparker

[otakusheep15]

Flufftober Day 22 - Cooking

Content includes: Sebek x reader, implied mutual pining, Lilia being a menace, reader knows how to cook, Sebek not understanding how to flirt

“As loath as I am to admit it, I am appreciative of your help, human.”

You smile, feeling just a bit proud at the fact that Sebek gave you an actual compliment, no matter how backhanded it may have been. It is a deserved compliment, seeing as how you’re basically saving his life.

Earlier today, you received a surprisingly frantic text from Sebek practically begging you to come to Daisomnia. When you arrived, most of the students were cowering in fear, obviously avoiding the kitchen. You knew immediately what was going on.

Somehow, you managed to talk Lilia away from the kitchen, offering to cook for the dorm instead. He took some convincing, but he agreed after you promised to make whatever he requested.

That’s how you ended up here, making dinner for a dorm that isn’t yours. Sebek had decided to join you to ensure you “didn’t mess up the kitchen”, but you both knew he just really wanted to spend time with you.

As was requested of Lilia, you’re making tomato soup. It was the compromise you agreed upon, and most of the dorm seemed happy with that choice. To make it a little more substantial, you also decided to make grilled cheese sandwiches.

Since Sebek decided to be in here with you, you figured you might as well put him to work.

“Hmph! You’re lucky I owe you, human! Otherwise, I would never even humor the thought of helping you!”

Despite his words, he’s already tying an apron around his waist and gathering the ingredients for you. He knows his way around this kitchen better than you would, and you’re grateful for the help.

You begin dicing up tomatoes, wanting them to be small enough to fit into the blender. Sebek, meanwhile, has begun grating the cheese you intend to use for the sandwiches.

This is the quietest Sebek has ever been, but it’s certainly not bad. He’s obviously concentrating, and it’s adorable to watch him work so hard on something so simple.

Together, the two of you work, moving around each other as you work on your assigned tasks. Not much is spoken, other than the occasional remark from Sebek about how he’s only doing this because he doesn’t want to owe you later. You smile and laugh it off each time, knowing it’s just his strange way of expressing affection.

Soon enough, dinner is finished, and Sebek helps you serve it to the rest of the dorm. Naturally, you’re invited to stay and eat as well, as it would be rude to expect you to leave after making everyone else food.

Of course, you sit next to Sebek, and you thank him for all of the help, offering him a smile as you begin eating.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a light blush coat his cheeks as he turns away from you.

“No need to thank me, human. I was simply returning a prior favor.”

The food is amazing, and the students around the table compliment your work. You make sure to shout out Sebek each time, reminding everyone that he did just as much as you. You can tell it embarrasses him, but it’s cute when he gets like this.

When everyone is finished eating, you and Sebek are excused from cleaning duty since you both worked so hard on cooking. You decide to head back to your own dorm, and Sebek walks you to the portal out of Diasomnia.

“It was… decent… working with you today. Maybe we could… do this again sometime.”

He’s bright red in the face, and he makes a point of not looking directly at you. You respond in kind, taking his hand and gently squeezing it as you agree.

As you turn to leave, you see the tiniest hint of a smile on his face, and you’re sure you sport a matching one the whole way back to your dorm.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

From July 2022. Still holds true.

by Hannah Thomasy

Even mild COVID can do serious damage to the lungs, heart, and brain.

The vast majority of COVID-19 cases are mild or asymptomatic; many people will spend a week or two at most with a headache, sore throat, coughing, and maybe a fever. Because of that — and because everyone in the U.S. can now get vaccinated, which greatly reduces the chances of having a severe COVID case — many people are returning to life as normal, despite a recent surge in cases caused by the new Omicron BA.5 subvariant. But a mild case can be misleading, because once the initial infection subsides, you may not be in the clear. Long COVID, with symptoms that last months or even years, occurs in some people with mild cases, and even in those who were initially asymptomatic. And it can do serious damage to the heart, brain, and lungs.

Estimates on the prevalence of long COVID are hugely variable, from 2.3% of cases to more than half of cases. Some of this variation may have to do with differences in the populations studied and how exactly long COVID is defined (which symptoms are assessed and the time elapsed since the initial illness). Severity of symptoms can also vary widely between people. Although some people might be bothered by a persistent cough, others have symptoms so severe that they’re unable to return to work.

“This syndrome has maybe half a dozen different monikers — post-COVID, long COVID, long haulers, post-acute sequelae of COVID — and I think that in many ways reflects the heterogeneity of the presentation. And also reflects, frankly, the lack of consensus as to what's actually going on here,” says Roger McIntyre, M.D., a professor of psychiatry and pharmacology at the University of Toronto.

In an attempt to learn more about this condition — and eventually figure out how to treat it — researchers are investigating how mild COVID infections can go on to have serious impacts on major organ systems such as the lungs, heart, and brain. Here’s what we know so far.

Impact of Mild COVID on the Lungs COVID is well-known for its ability to cause severe lung damage in the short-term in people with more severe cases. But even mild COVID can do long-lasting damage to the lungs. In a study of self-reported long-haulers (the majority of whom were not initially hospitalized for the disease), nearly 80% reported persistent shortness of breath.

Physical abnormalities in the lungs have been noted as well. A study of 67 people with persistent symptoms who had not been hospitalized from COVID used CT scans to measure air trapping in the lungs. Air trapping is, as the name suggests, when air gets trapped in the lungs — meaning the person is unable to breath out fully. This can indicate dysfunction or inflammation in the small airways of the lung. The study found that more than half of patients had air trapping. On average, air trapping affected about 25% of the total lung.

Scientists emphasize that more research will be needed to determine whether these results hold true for people infected with more recent variants like Omicron and whether these changes are permanent or reversible.

At this point, it’s also unclear how to treat or prevent post-COVID lung abnormalities.

Impact of Mild COVID on the Heart Mild cases of COVID can also cause long-term damage to the cardiovascular system. Anecdotal reports of this began to appear less than a year into the pandemic, and a large-scale study published earlier this year confirmed early fears. The study, which included more than 150,000 people who had tested positive for COVID, found substantially elevated risk for more than a dozen kinds of heart and vascular disorders over the year following initial infection compared to people who had not had COVID.

Though these disorders were more common in people who had severe COVID, people who were not hospitalized still had increased risk for most of the conditions studied. For example, people who had not been hospitalized with COVID had a 23% increased risk of stroke, a 37% increased risk of heart failure, and a 50% increased risk of inflammatory heart disease.

“It’s very, very clear this is happening even in people who did not have severe disease,” says Ziyad Al-Aly, M.D., lead author of the study, director of the Clinical Epidemiology Center at Washington University in St. Louis, and the Chief of Research and Education Service at the Veterans Affairs St. Louis Health Care System.

Just because someone doesn’t get long COVID symptoms from the first infection, doesn’t mean they won’t develop it during a second or third infection, Al-Aly says. With each new infection, “you’re playing Russian roulette again.”

Currently, patients with post-COVID cardiovascular problems are treated based on their symptoms, Al-Aly says. A patient with arrhythmia after COVID, for example, would be treated in the same way as any other patient with arrhythmia. But understanding exactly how the virus continues to affect the heart and blood vessels for months after the initial infection is important for the development of more effective treatments.

Although there are several hypotheses about how this long-tern damage could be occurring, Al-Aly says that one possibility is that the virus, or even just viral fragments, hides in various tissues in the body long after the acute phase of the infection. “Those fragments could continue to irritate the immune system and produce something called low grade chronic inflammation that may in turn produce organ damage,” he says.

If this is the case, treatments, including antivirals, that help people clear the virus might help prevent long-term effects, he says. Although there have been a few anecdotal reports of long COVID symptoms improving after antiviral treatment or vaccination, these still need to be tested in clinical trials.

Impact of Mild COVID on the Brain Estimates of the prevalence of cognitive problems after mild COVID vary. One study found that 1.2% of people reported memory problems three to four months after illness, but another study found memory problems in almost 16% at roughly the same time point. “Brain fog,” a non-medical term generally concerned with difficulties related to attention and memory, was reported by more than 80% of people with long COVID, according to one study.

Brain fog and cognitive problems, along with fatigue, are some of the most common symptoms of long COVID, says McIntyre. They also have some of the largest impacts on quality of life. McIntyre says he’s even seen these symptoms in patients whose initial infections were asymptomatic.

But doctors are seeing much more than just brain fog. People with long COVID report an incredibly wide array of neuropsychiatric symptoms, including anxiety, depression, dizziness, insomnia, confusion, short- and long-term memory loss, and difficulty with verbal communication.

Because of the variation between people in brain structure, cognition, and baseline risk for neuropsychiatric disorders — and because most people aren’t being tested before their infections — it can be difficult to tell which differences are actually due to COVID. Luckily, long-term biomedical data collection projects such as the UK Biobank allow this kind of before-and-after analysis, at least in terms of brain structure. Using the Biobank data, researchers analyzed brain scans of hundreds of people who had been scanned before and after COVID and compared them with non-infected people who had two scans over similar time periods.

What they found is concerning: People who had recovered from COVID (and who were not hospitalized) had greater reductions in overall brain volume, as well as greater reductions in grey matter thickness in regions of the brain related to smell.

On average, the second scan occurred about 5 months after the person was diagnosed with COVID. Further research is needed to determine whether this damage is permanent or not.

McIntyre says it’s important to figure out exactly how COVID infections result in organ damage. Right now, there are a lot of possibilities for how the virus might damage the brain. Like those in the lungs, cells in the brain have the ACE2 receptor, which the virus uses to enter cells. So one hypothesis, he says, is that the virus is infecting brain cells, causing toxicity over time.

“Secondly, it could be friendly fire. In other words, your own immune system, in the process of tackling the virus, could inadvertently be causing collateral damage,” he says.

“Thirdly, a lot of people believe the reason why you're seeing brain changes is because there's very, very small blood vessel disease, because the blood vessels get affected by COVID,” he says, “and the tiny blood vessels in the brain are getting blocked, and that's what's leading to the problem.”

Antiviral and immune-modulating drugs are being considered for the treatment of long COVID in general, McIntyre says. He himself is running a study on whether an antidepressant called vortioxetine, which has been shown to improve cognitive function in people with depression, might help improve cognition and quality of life in those with long COVID.

But there’s a long way to go before scientists fully understand this complex disease, let alone develop effective therapies.

In the meantime, the best way to avoid long COVID is to avoid getting COVID in the first place: wear a well-fitting mask, practice physical distancing where possible, and avoid crowded indoor spaces. This is equally important if you’ve already had COVID; just because you didn’t get long COVID before doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily get lucky a second time.

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

the modern world restricts ease of movement through tracking and monitoring, yes; but there is something to be said for how travel has only become a mass opportunity - available to virtually all members of the middle and upper classes - within the last ~100 years. not only technology, but caste/estate/class & religion/gender/profession (any living off the land type deal) etc. posed massive obstacles to free travel in the past. for some people in our modern world those material realities still do. it's good to be aware that it's a rather privileged position to hold when the main thing stopping you from going wherever you want is something administrative

Alright, after some thought, I'm going to try to respond to this with some grace, since I think you're trying to make a point about equity which I'm sympathetic to.

And I will first make clear that I am neither in favor of romanticizing the past nor of talking about history as the relentless march of progress.

However, I think you may have mistaken my point about immigration/emigration for a point about leisure travel. I'm traveling for my work, not for tourism. Leisure travel has indeed become more financially viable for a number of people in the last century.

Immigration has not. I assure you that my Polish great great grandfather who (according to my grandfather) was a stowaway on a steamer leaving Russia and showed up in the US with only skills as a shopkeeper was not traveling with great financial privilege. Nor were my Czech ancestors who arrived a generation earlier as farmers. Even outside of my own family experience, I don't find it particularly fair to say that, for example, Irish farmers using their last penny to travel on the lowest deck to take a gamble escaping the famine were traveling with great financial means.

Even going further back, The Return of Martin Guerre (the book I mentioned) is about a peasant who walked from Spain to France to start a new life with an assumed identity.

And this was all fine because immigration was allowed for those of limited means.

I suspect that you think "something administrative" means paperwork. But, even putting aside the cost of that (getting copies of official documents, authentication, background checks, fees etc.), it also includes means testing. Each time I've applied for residence in an EU country, I've had to provide bank statements and proof of income to even be considered for approval. And here I'll give you an acknowledgement of my privilege: I have a strong passport. For those from the global South, proof of means is expected even for tourism purposes. The administrative barriers include built-in measures to prevent poor people entering countries. No pre-existing job and financial assets? No residency permit/visa/green card.

There is no simply walking over a border or spending your last money on a boat ticket and hoping you can make it with just skills. So no, immigration has not become more available to those with limited means. I find that people with strong passports tend to underestimate this because they can enter countries for leisure relatively unimpeded.

And yes, I have the privilege of being from the global North, having a strong passport, and being paid to do intellectual work (which includes grants and fellowships that allow me to pass the means testing). And I'm an unmarried woman who has my own means, which would have not been true half a century ago. That doesn't bar me from commenting on how these barriers impede movement. If anything, someone in my position being put through so much scrutiny to get residence for even a year should show how incredibly difficult it can be for people who have substantially less than me.

[yujo-nishimura]

All the rage

A fauxpax at your job leads to some intimate time with your boss Sir Crocodile and even a promotion...

Warning: gore, blood, violence, smut, Sir Crocodile x female reader (It is not as gory as I intended it to write because I also do not want my readers to be disgusted)

NSFW - minors do not interact

words: 1932

I am tagging @lostfirefly since she has explicitly asked for it and she will understand the background of the story.. ;)

What began as a promising career path quickly transformed into a daily grind filled with frustration. Your boss had placed you on the front lines of sales, fully aware that it was your charm and physical appearance that kept customers engaged, rather than the actual product you were selling. Initially, the attention may have been enjoyable, but it rapidly developed into an arduous routine of forcing a smile and feigning interest in even the most absurd customer requests.

In addition to your job-related frustrations, you hated the commute, enduring endless waits for public transportation alongside the empty expressions of fellow passengers. To make things even more difficult, you had developed romantic feelings for your boss, Mr. Crocodile, who failed to provide the attention you yearned for. Nevertheless, he remained the sole reason you clung to the job, at least for a little while longer. 

After enduring yet another exhausting and sweltering morning commute, coupled with three customer calls riddled with complaints, it's no wonder that you finally reached your breaking point.

The client you were scheduled to meet today had already displayed unpleasant behavior over the phone. However, you tried to stay optimistic, believing that people tend to be kinder in person compared to phone or email interactions. As the clock struck 10, the client was still nowhere to be seen, and impatience crept in, knowing your aversion to tardiness. Eventually, he arrived at 10:30, nearly an hour late. Upon entering your office, he offered no apology, opting instead for a shy smile. With his greasy blonde hair, ill-fitting suit, and repulsive demeanor, you took a deep breath and, attempting to maintain your professionalism, offered him a seat and asked if he wanted tea or coffee. To your annoyance, he requested soda water, the one thing you hadn't offered. You reluctantly went to the small fridge in search of anything to satisfy his stupid request.

Upon your return, he sported a sly grin and made inappropriate comments about your appearance as you turned around to face him. For a moment, you contemplated ending the conversation then and there. Not only because of the harassment, but also because he had already exhibited a series of missteps from the start, leading you to believe it would only worsen. However, you reminded yourself that this client had promised substantial purchases, resulting in a significant deal that would not only make you proud but also capture your boss's attention.

As you settled down before the client, you ensured your suit jacket and skirt were impeccably aligned, carefully placing product flyers on the glass coffee table. "So, as we discussed on the phone, this is what we can offer, and we're willing to negotiate a generous discount for bulk purchases," you initiated your customary sales pitch, fully aware that the man was likely not paying attention at all.

"I wasn't aware that they allowed women to work at Cross Guild Corp. as well," he suddenly remarked. 

"Pardon me?" you replied, looking up at him, meeting his watery blue eyes and sly grin once again. 

"I believe men excel in sales and business, but I can see why they placed you on the front line. You're a cute little Missy with a nice little butt. Are they sharing you around here?" 

"Sir...!" you sighed deeply, mustering all your strength to restrain yourself from snapping at him. "At Cross Guild Corp., our team strives to create an inclusive environment that does not discriminate based on gender or sexuality..." you trailed off, realizing that you sounded like a spokesperson for your company's marketing campaign. 

"I actually came here just to find out about your sexuality, girl, since you sounded so nice on the phone!" To your horror, the client stood up, walked around the table, and sat down next to you on the large leather couch. His sly grin remained etched on his face, and you understood that he had no intention of making any purchases. As he forcefully grabbed your hand and pushed it between his legs, you gasped. Your phone lay on the table, and the imposing wooden doors prevented any sound from escaping to alert your colleagues of your distress. Your eyes fell on the letter opener on the table, next to the flyers and paperwork from the morning. 

“I will give you a good tip, so show me - how is your head…!”, he murmured and the grip on your hand got tighter. That was your breaking point. In a split-second decision, you instinctively reached for the letter opener resting on your desk. Its design was reminiscent of the sword once wielded by your chief manager Mihawk, a renowned sword master.

With a swift motion and without any regret you stabbed the small iron blade into the neck of your attacker, making his eyes go wide in disbelief over the blood fountain suddenly gushing out from under his ear. He gargled, trying to cover the wound and hissed “You fucking bitch!” but you had already stood up, trying to get away from the fountain of blood spilling over the leather couch and your black suit and sheer tights.

The guy had finally stopped smiling and you felt a sense of relief. Still heavily breathing you went to your desk trying to grab anything to hold on to. You were still in shock but you also felt like this was the only thing you needed to do today. Your work was done here, time to punch out and go home.

As the client gasped for his final breaths on the couch, a sudden knock at the door startled you. Without hesitation, your boss, Sir Crocodile, made his entrance into the office, dressed impeccably in a sleek black suit, his presence accentuated by the cigar he held. 

"Y/n, I was just coming in to discuss the sales numbers from last month and review our plans for Q3..." he began, but his words trailed off abruptly as his gaze fell upon your pale face, the crimson stains on your hands, and the somber scene that unfolded on the couch before him. 

"Oh..." he remarked, his reaction to a dying person being the one you least expected from all possible responses.

“I…!”, that was all you were able to say, looking in horror at your own hands and the blood stains on the carpet. 

"Did the sales proposal go wrong?" your boss inquired, carefully placing the documents on a nearby shelf to avoid any stains. 

"He... he tried to assault me," you stammered, your voice trembling as you spoke. 

Crocodile approached the lifeless figure and casually lifted his arm before letting it drop back onto the couch with a nonchalant "flop." 

"What a tasteless suit brand. He reeks of cheap whiskey as well... I think you handled the situation very well, dear Y/n!" 

You couldn't believe what you were hearing as your boss praised you. 

"Are you alright, though? It must have been quite a shock for you..." 

With just two swift strides, your boss stood before you, his towering presence simultaneously intimidating and comforting. He gently took hold of your blood-stained hands, inspecting them as though he had stumbled upon a hidden treasure. 

"I'm... I'm fine, I suppose," you whispered, relieved to be able to utter any words at all. 

"How about you take the rest of the day off, my dear?" Crocodile suddenly suggested, causing your heart to race. Did your beloved boss just refer to you as "my dear"?

“I am fine, Sir..!”, you tried to utter and you looked into his dark purple eyes. A rush of adrenaline had run through your body, heightened now by the sensation of Crocodile's warm skin on yours.

He gently raised your hands to his mouth and you gasped in disbelief as he carefully opened his lips, licking over the blood on your fingers.

The tension in the office got unbearable and you suddenly realized that the death of the client and you having killed him had turned Sir Crocodile on. He didn't even ask for your approval, he did not need to hear it, seeing the same fire in your eyes as mirrored in his own was enough proof for him. Without hesitation he quickly grabbed your hips, pushing you up on your wooden office desk, starting to greedily kiss you. His lips tasted like cigar smoke and blood and it made your mind go blank.

Instinctively you wrapped your legs around his waist and put your arms around his shoulders. You were only kissing but you already felt like moaning into his mouth, your arousal palpable. Crocodile did not wait any longer. While still kissing you, he unbuckled his belt, pulling down both his trousers and underwear. His throbbing cock was so huge, pressing against your clothed folds, for a moment you were not sure if you could take it all. He did not give you a choice. Ripping your tights apart, he pulled down your panties and pushed your skirt up. Your bare ass was seated now on documents from the morning briefing and before your boss embraced you, he quickly checked with his fingers if you were ready for him. The slick sound made him smile, he kissed your neck and gently whispered: 

“Killing that guy turned you on, didn't it?”

Without waiting for your reply he pushed into you, his full length filling you in an instant. Surprisingly you were ready to take him - there was no pain, only pleasure. As he started to move relentlessly into you, your thighs and your butt started slapping against the wood of the desk. You moaned into his shoulder, feeling his big cock filling you to the brim. As you held onto him you were able to peek over his shoulder, seeing the lifeless body of the client still slightly bleeding, but much less than earlier, leaving a big crimson puddle on the floor. 

Crocodile gently but vigorously pulled your hair forcing you to look at him. 

“Focus on me, baby. I want you to enjoy every moment of this…!” his deep voice was laced with desire, you could feel his cock pulsating against your velvet folds. 

His demand made you feel getting close to your own orgasm, he pressed his hand on your mouth, trying to stifle your moans and holding on to you while his motions grew more forceful and vigorous. 

“Almost there..!”, he leaned over and whispered these words into your ear.

“I underestimated you, I knew you were beautiful and charming.. but I did not think you had the guts to kill someone…!”, his voice turned husky from the fast-paced breaths.

You pushed your nails into his skin and threw your head back as the orgasm washed over you like a wave. Seeing you squirting all over his cock made him go wild, with some last stuttering movements he pushed his cum inside of you, gently collapsing with his massive body on your suit jacket. You both were panting, the room was hot and sticky, the scent of blood and wrongdoing hung in the air.

He slowly stood upright, handing you your underwear and pulling up his trousers, adjusting his tie in a swift movement. 

Still overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment you silently grabbed your panties, pushing them into your jacket pocket instead of putting them back on. 

"Well, I've been in need of a personal assistant for quite some time now," Crocodile cleared his throat, smoothing back his slicked hair with a swift gesture. "How about we tidy up this mess together and then discuss your well-deserved promotion?"

[kayuripax]

A Bloodborne Guide for Newbies - How to Hunt and not get discouraged

Heyo! I'm Kayuri. I am a relatively okay Hunter, and played Bloodborne a few times now, and got it Platinum'd. I am by no means an expert, but I noticed people have gotten Bloodborne this christmas, and we have a large new load of Hunters. And this is why I decided to make a guide for the new flesh among us, so they may stay for the long haul.

THIS GUIDE CONTAINS SPOILERS, ESPECIALLY IN THE BOSS SECTION! BE AWARE OF THAT!

Things I will cover:

Things you can do with and without online

General tips and tricks

Caryll Runes (specifically the Oath runes)

Weapons

Builds?

What does scaling mean?

How and where to farm

Tips for Bosses

This will be under a cut, because things can get long here.

Things you can do with and without online:

Bloodborne has an online mode. It costs money to play online. An unreasonable amount, frankly, so don't worry if you don't have it! But not having it removes some options for you, so let's see what having Online allows you to do and what not having online does to you.

The realities of having Online:

You can summon other people to help you in boss battles. This leaves you open to Invaders. Invaders want to kill you. This starts happening once you reach Blood Level 30. If you want to have reliable summoning, I suggest checking out r/huntersbell here!

You can leave and read messages by and for other people. If they rate your note "Fine", you get a health top-up and a notif.

You can see the spectres of people, that show you how others died. Very useful to avoid your own death.

You gain access to online chalice glyphs, like the infamous Cum Chalice. Yes, that name is unfortunate, but it is THE place to get useful echoes.

The Realities of not having Online:

You won't get invaded when you summon an NPC to help you, but you cannot have the help of actual people. If there is no NPC summon, you will need to figure out the boss yourself. See the tips I have further down.

You will not see messages or specters.

You will not be able to use the Cum chalice. That makes grinding for items substantially harder.

Generally, you can play the game entirely on your own! That is possible, and largely what I did! In some instances, playing offline is a boon, even. Namely in the Nightmare Frontier and the first part of the Nightmare of Mensis. In those two areas, if you are playing Online, you are automatically entered into the Invasion pool, and you cannot return to the Hunter's Dream while this is active. You need to find the Bellringer to kill her before you can return. Consider playing in offline in those areas until you are right before the boss.

General Tips and Tricks

First off, this game is huge. There is a lot to do, a lot to do wrong, and how to do things seems overwhelming at first. Let's see if we can't order that a bit, eh?

First things first, don't be afraid to look things up! I personally endorse the Bloodborne Wiki here. It isn't the Fextralife wiki, but it has a lot of data, extremely detailed pictures, and good breakdowns of the weaknesses your foes will have. It also has extremely good guides for chalice dungeons, and where to find things. There is no shame in looking things up, and anyone who tells you otherwise needs to get a grip.

Second! You will die. You will see this a lot.

It's a meme for a reason. Don't worry about it, death is meaningless and teaches you how to do things. It may get frustrating at times, but if you take death personally, you won't have fun. If you die too much in a single region, there may be cause for you to go and grind a bit somewhere else until you are at the spot you want to be. Maybe you need to get more familiar with your weapon. Maybe you need more echoes. Go and grind a bit somewhere, and get familiar with movesets - both yours and your foes'. You will lose echoes. That happens. It will become less and less of an issue over time. Try not to use all your coldblood dew in one go, it's nicer to have a solid stock of echoes to have for when you are maybe a hundred or a thousand echoes off from the next big level up.

Third up: Before you do anything else, level up your vitality. That's your health. You need to be able to tank at least one or two hits, or you'll go down like a wet sack of flour. Attack power can come later, you need to be able to survive for now. Your first order of business once you get access to Miss Doll is to level up your vitality to at least 20 if not 25. Then you may focus on the attack power. Don't be me and level up one of your attack stats to 25 and stay with your health at starting level until you get to the Bloodstarved Beast. I mean, you can. But it will make things more dangerous. Endurance is useful too, that is what you use to hit and to run. I personally consider vitality a bit more needed though, I did two game runs with barely leveling endurance and only really got to it now in ng+2.

Fourth: Get out of the starter clothes, but feel free to have fun with dressing up. Clothes have stats, yes, but the clothes will not save your life. It is better to dress how you want to than to dress for stats. There are very few instances where those will actually save your life. The few points I can think of are when poison is involved, and when you need to avoid Frenzy. Aside from that, just have fun with it! There is no fashion police unless you are invaded by them. Style goes hard, and fashionborne is a thing.

Fifth: If you are coming in from Dark Souls or Elden Ring, I have to tell you that you need to forget that shields are a thing. They will not save you. There are two of them in the game. One protects against magic and is dlc only. The other one is less than useless and even described as such in the item description

You parry with the power of Gun. The timing is roughly equal to Dark Souls 1 parry times, and it is easier to do it than you think! If you parry shoot someone, you have a chance to go in for a visceral, which will deal a good chunk 'a damage to your enemies. Viscerals primarily scale with Skill, so consider leveling that up a bit. ^^ A Visceral is essentially a riposte. After you shoot an enemy by using L2 or hit them with a charged R2 from the back and it is staggered, if you get close and tap R1, you get a Visceral attack. This works from the front or the back on general mobs, but bosses tend to have specific spots to Visceral.

Sixth: Don't go into the DLC as soon as you can. It is brutal. You will die. It is end-game scaled. I have seen recs that say to do it after you killed Micolash. Others even put it after the Wet Nurse. Generally, don't do this until you are at least at Blood Level 80, better yet 90, and have a well upgraded weapon.

Seventh: You will see NPCs die here. You will not like that. Sometimes the best way is to never engage them, but you will learn their fates the first time. it will happen. It will hurt. If you want to save as many as you can, look it up on the wiki. It's going to be okay in the end. But it will not be fun at all times. If people can be spared, try to do that. There are too few friendly faces in Yharnam already.

Caryll Runes (specifically the Oath Runes)

You will get access to an item called the Rune Iron after defeating the boss of Hemwick Charnel Lane. This allows you to equip Caryll runes of varying effects. Most of them enhance a stat or allow you to carry more items. Experiment a bit with them until you find something you like. I won't dictate which runes to use. No, what I want to talk about are the Oath runes.

If you come in from Dark Souls, you are likely aware of Covenants. These runes work similarly. Depending on whether or not you have the DLC, you have between 4-6 covenant runes. Two of these are in complete opposition, one may result in increased pvp.

I will let this picture make the work for me, and elaborate a bit on best uses after that.

As seen, there are six runes:

The Cainhurst Vilebloods, also called Corruption, obtained by talking to Queen Annalise. If equipped, you will enter pvp when summoned by an Executioner, or if you summon one yourself. The rune will heal you a bit as you are near death, and this mechanic doesn't rely on being online.

The Executioners, also called Radiance, obtained by letting Alfred kill Queen Annalise. This rune does the same for pvp as the vileblood rune. This rune increases the percentage blood vials recover your health by by about 2%.

The Hunter of Hunters, the Hunter rune, obtained by finishing Eileen's questline. It speeds up the stamina recovery rate by 6%, and if you summon, there is a low chance that the one you summon or are summoned by is declared blood mad, making you an adversary. You will need to defeat them.

The League, also known as Impurity. Impurity heightens your hp by 2% during cooperation, and makes it easier to find help during summoning.

Beast's Embrace, a rune that transforms the hunter into a more bestial state, obtained by defeating Laurence the First Vicar in the DLC. This rune doesn't affect pvp, but enhances the moveset of the beast claw weapon.

Milkweed, a rune that transforms the hunter into a Lumenwood, obtained by helping the npc Saint Adeline in the DLC. This rune heightens discovery, making it easier to find items, and enhances the moveset of the kos parasite weapon, a dlc exclusive.

WEAPONS

Aaaah, the Trick Weapon. The cornerstone of a Hunter's arsenal, and something you need to pay attention to!

Your weapon can break. If you see the "weapon at risk" notice, it's time to go into the dream. Your weapon does half damage at that point, and you do not want that. You need every chunk of damage you can get.

Weapons can, as the name trick weapon implies, trick. They have two modes, and these modes differ. Most of the time, not just in the moveset, but also in how they deal damage. This is important, but not to the point your preference for one weapon type will ruin the game for you.

Weapons can broadly be divided into three categories, which can be useful for builds: strength, skill, quality. They will scale with one of these majorly, and you will want to level that stat more. Quality builds rely on both strength and skill just about equally. They are the everyman's weapon. It is the more esoteric ones that rely on Arcane and Bloodtinge.

Don't lock into one weapon from the start, dear hunters. Don't give a rat's arse about some other person's tierlist of weapons and their stats. Just about everything is viable if you build it for yourself. I personally use a saw spear the most, and for my first run, used a Chalice Gylph to get early access to a Burial Blade for large-scale crowd control. These days, I have exchanged that one for multiple other weapons, each of which is good for a different purpose. You don't have weight limits. Carry what makes your soul sing, and use whichever weapon makes you happy.

Blood Gems can make or break a weapon, sometimes do both, and at times do so literally. Some blood gems make your weapons break faster. They hit like nothing else at that point though. Blood Gems can be found all over, but primarily so in Chalice Dungeons, and they extend the ways your weapons can be used. Experiment a bit with them, but pay attention to the shapes they have. Some can only be used in certain slots.

Upgrading your weapons is crucial in this. You need Blood stone for that. It takes 16 items per upgrade material tier. 3 for the first, 5 for the second, and 8 for the third upgrade of the tier. 16 Blood Stone shards to get a weapon to +3, Blood Stone Twin Shards to +6, Blood Stone Chunks to +9, and then the final price are coveted Blood Stone Rocks, which allow the final upgrade to +10. Depending on whether or not you have the DLC, there is a limited number of them you can get per game cycle. They can be farmed, but they are rare. Think carefully about which weapon you want to get to +10.

Weapons come in variants. These Lost and Uncanny variants are found in Chalice dungeons, and they have different blood gem layouts. Use that to get some variety, or to acquire a weapon early. ;)

Builds?

I bet you heard the word Builds before. It carries weight, and it tells you what your character is good at. Now, don't worry. You don't need to make those from scratch. The wiki I linked before has a few build guides. Often, builds decide which weapons you can use best. There is no shame in experimenting a bit, in mixing and matching.

Generally, builds are very useful for pvp. It makes you pvp optimized, and the pvp level rests at around 120. You can of course level higher! In fact, the cap is at 544, so 99 in each stat. The return for stat investment you see diminishes at a certain point, the hard and soft caps. That's okay, it is expected.

I personally tend to run skill builds. Strength builds are just as viable however, as are bloodtinge or arcane builds. They are all damn useful, and they are all fascinating to play. Your starting class can help, but in the long haul, it barely does anything.

First and foremost, have fun with it. Do give a look to this site though if you want a few build ideas.

What does scaling mean?

Weapons scale. That means that they depend stronger on one stat than another. The scaling of a weapon improves as you upgrade it. A weapon with a D scaling in strength is going to rely less on it than a weapon with an A scaling. Scaling determines bonus damage your weapon does, and it's shown by a + symbol next to the raw damage number.

Does higher scaling make a better weapon? Technically. And yet, despite that, someone with a fully upgraded Simon's Bowblade can and will die to someone who is naked and running in with a broken, not upgraded saw cleaver that yells cowabunga. It's the player that makes or breaks a weapon.

How and where to farm?

Farming is essential. You need vials, and you need bullets. And you sure as hell need echoes. You gotta get that off the ground before you can get a Chalice to use the unfortunately named Cum chalice, and if you don't have Online, you can't rely on that. Farming can and will get easier once you got a steady supply of Bold Hunter's Marks too, since they allow you to respawn without losing your echoes, so consider investing in some of those! This site has a few guides, but here is a short list of my favorite places to farm some stuff:

Blood Vials:

These drop from Scourge Beasts and Large Huntsmen a lot. Brick Trolls are practically guaranteed to drop between 2-3 of them. Those are not easy foes at first. If you have opened the shortcut to Gilbert's house, you can farm them somewhat easily from the scourge beasts on the bridge by luring them towards the entrance of the house leading to the Bridge. just clear the people inside first. The scourge beasts don't fit through the door, and if you have the axe or cane, you can safely dispatch them one at a time.

Large huntsmen are vulnerable to being parried when they have their arms raised the highest, but if you have a reasonably fast weapon, you can stunlock them. If you manage to sneak up to them from behind, do a charge attack (long r2) and they immediately become vulnerable to a visceral. Use that window to get 'em!

Brick trolls kind of suck to parry at first, but they drop blood vials rather reliably. They are easy once you get used to their timing, but they are intimidating. Don't be afraid to land potshots, and run away if it gets too dicey.

Bullets:

Your thighs. Don't be afraid to stab yourself via Up on the d-pad to get 5 extra bullets, especially if you have a surplus of vials.

Any mob with a musket will drop bullets. If you feel like chancing murder alley, there is one near a carriage pretending he is asleep. kill him, loot him, to the nearest lantern, rinse and repeat.

Bloodstone Shards:

Those drop from the sewers and the large huntsmen there about as often as blood vials. Be careful and you won't waste for getting your weapon to +3 before you know it.

If you haven't done the sewers, Old Yharnam has a good spot. It makes me feel a bit bad because I like Djura and he says beasts are people, but the area he can't see, near the church and over the bridge has about 4-5 scourge beasts and a lot of beast patients that you can kill relatively easily. they drop a lot of echoes and shards, and you can use those. They drop vials too, and sometimes even beast blood pellets.

Echoes

Broadly said? Everyone and everything. That doesn't help you, I know that. So let's see what I can go with that will help y'all in actual places...

Central Yharnam: The house behind Gilbert's. You need to open the shortcut for it, yes, but it's good farming. You got slow yharnamite hunter mobs, and you can easily get them down, and then there is the bridge right at the top where you can lure the scourge beasts to the entrance of the house. you will be inside and can kill them cheaply. Do not go to Murder Alley, aka the long bend at the start. That is hubris talking. Also consider the bridge at the aqueduct. if you go to the middle and then run back and go somewhat down the ladder, the huntsmen get bowled over, quite literally. Bowling for beasts nets you a fair bit of echoes for little effort.

The Cathedral Ward: There are three church servants and some fat crows in the back area of the chapel. If you kill those, you learn the parry timing of the servants (when they raise their staff), and you get echoes. The servants drop bullets and vials. It's good. Then go to the outer courtyard. two more servants. one to parry, one to let walk by and sneak up on with a backstab visceral. Beware the amygdala in the corner, it's grabby.

Old Yharnam: Don't focus on going through this area the first time without damage. Just try to survive, and if you gotta kill beasts, it happens. DO NOT GO UP ON THE TOWER! That way is Djura. Djura can be befriended if you stop hunting the beasts of Old Yharnam after defeating the boss Darkbeast Paarl. I like sitting with Djura, he's cool. Anyways. If you get through Old Yharnam, you will eventually reach a church where a beast bursts through the doors. Go inside and up the stairs, and you unlock a shortcut all the way back to the start. now you got an area for the easy farming of echoes, about 3-4k per run. you go down the church, and then go at the 3 scourge beasts on the bridge as well as the three beast patients coming in. Then you turn around, sneak up on the screaming beast patient in the fog, and backstab-visceral her. Try not to get poisoned by that scourge beast there. rinse and repeat as needed.

The Forbidden Woods: Why do you want to farm here. This thing has poison. It has snakes. eugh. That said, once you get the shortcut to valtr open, he has a thriving snake habitat next to himself. It's a decent farming spot. I try not to be here, I don't like this place.

Hemwick Charnel Lane: Your best bet to farm here are actually the mobs right in front of the boss room. Once you got the Witches down, you can go back up and take care of the 3 grave women, the executioner, and the dogs there. that gets decent echoes!

Yahar'gul: No. (you can get twin stone shards there. the chance for it is abysmal. don't be me. Do not farm there for 18 hours only to give up without the shards you wanted. You can get twin stone shards elsewhere.)

Cainhurst Castle: You should probably not grind in an area with little guardrails and open roofs, but you do you. If you can deal with potentially being stunlocked by enemies screaming at you, the library is a decent spot.

If you have Online, discard all of these after getting the Pthumeru Chalice. Once you have that, and can use Chalice Glyphs, you will want to enter the Glyph code CUMMMFPK. This will generate a chalice dungeon that will, without fail, drop you nearly 90k echoes for doing nothing but standing in the entrance area for like 5 seconds. I advise using those echoes to buy items rather than to level up, but that choice is yours entirely.

BOSS TIPS

Here we are at last. Took me a good while, but here we are! I will try to do this with some pictures to break up the monotony. Gotta announce them in fashion, after all.

Cleric Beast

This bastard. Utter Tool. screams like the damned. Here's the rough sitch and the damage breakdown:

Hates fire. Is a beast, and thus vulnerable to it. Pack molotovs if you can.

Gets extra damage from serration due to being a beast. The saw cleaver and saw spear are your best friend if you are a fresh player, as is the transformed threaded cane.

Get Father Gascoigne's help if you can and haven't fought him yet. He does decent damage against it, for all that he doesn't heal himself. He will play meatshield quite well! He is found at the fountain near his house, where you can see a brick troll bang away at a door.

When the beast screams, it won't attack. you can use that to whale on it. Don't get too comfy though.

It is surprisingly fast, but turns slowly. If you are behind it, you can slash at its ankles.

It can be parried. isn't easy, but it can be done. Sometimes you get insanely lucky and do it with a throwing knife. Don't focus on the visceral. Slow and steady wins the race.

Father Gascoigne

Congratulations, you met the first mandatory boss. Congratudolences if you are like my dear girlfriend and his voice does it for you. You will get your shit kicked in summarily.

He has two and a half phases. Yes, i mean that as i said it. He has a Human phase, and a beast phase. About one-third in, he will transform his axe. that extends his already ridiculous reach, and it will be announced by a voiceline. You'll know it when you hear it. He can still use his blunderbuss despite the transformed axe. The computer is a cheating bastard, I guess. The beast phase kicks in at a point between half and a third of his health being left. He will hold his head, shriek, and transform into a beast. At that point he drops his weapons and will go for claws.

Gascoigne is a mirror boss to the Hunter. He fights like you. And it is meant to be hard. He is in a crowded arena, and that is not easy to navigate. But just as you can get stuck, so can he. Use that to your advantage to get healing in. Don't get greedy attacking him.

If you found his daughter, you will have a music box. Using that will make him stop attacking for a bit and howl in pain. You get four uses of that total. Three in human form. After the third usage, he will transform into the beast prematurely. His beast form only weakens from it once. He will howl in pain, and you can slash in. If you have trouble using the box, go up the stairs and towards the roof, but do it carefully, since you still want to be able to hit him after it works. This will go for beast and person both.

He is far more mobile as a beast, and can destroy the gravestones. If you are careful with that, you can get yourself some room to maneuver. I do not recommend that, frankly.

His human form doesn't have a particular weakness you can exploit early on, unless you want to stagger him. In taht case, use the kirkhammer. I have it on authority that it makes him stagger like a drunken man. After transforming, he is weak to serration and fire like any other beast. Don't waste molotovs, he is liable to dodge that.

If you need breathing room, up the stairs and down to the roof, and back into the graveyard. he tends to follow you, and that can buy you good time because he needs a bit to get down on the roof.

The Bloodstarved Beast (or as I call it, Old Raghead)

This boss won't win beauty awards. what it will win is your annoyance.

This beast is weak to serration and fire, business as usual.

It does however deal poison damage. It's blood is poisonous, and it is fast and likes to make grabby hands.

You should in fact try to bring in Alfred as a meat shield. It will raise the boss health, but he can distract it well enough.

You need to dress in poison resistant clothes. Gascoigne's garb has superb poison resistance and is good for this.

Pack antidotes. As many as you can. For the worst case scenario, the back of the arena has about 3 more. You will need them.

Keep molotovs handy, and the fire paper cooperating with Alfred gives you. You can find two more at the top of the shortcut church in old yharnam. They coat your weapon in fire for about 60 seconds each, and that is hella valuable.

This thing is quick. If it screams and the skin flaps, haul ass backwards because it is about to let out a cloud of poison

the third phase has not-so-fun gimmick: permanent poison aura. get fast, know when to use your antidotes, and have blood vials handy.

the hunter torch you can find near the shortcut door can make a decent substitute weapon here if you ran out of fire-paper. it won't do much, but it does fire, and that is sometimes just enough. If you have the flamesprayer, that is very neat too.

In theory you can parry this dude. I never managed it. props if you do.

You may get frustrated at dying. That happens, and is a part of it. I can't tell you much aside from the fact that you may wish to dodge forward rather than to the side or backward when it goes in for a swipe, because that allows you to go under it and gives you access to the back. You got this.

Old Hunter Henryk

Henryk is technically not a boss. He sure as fuck still feels like one. He is sitting at a horrendously high blood level for the point you find him at. If you don't want Eileen to die, you have only one true shot at this. So here is my list of tips for this crochety old bastard.

Just like Gascoigne, Henryk is a Hunter. That means he will fight like you. Unlike Gascoigne, Henryk comes with a you-sized hitbox as well. On one hand that means he can't reach you as fast. On the other hand, you can't do it either. You win some, you lose some.

Henryk packs a pistol, unlimited throwing knives, and a saw cleaver. Said saw cleaver has been upgraded so it hits harder.

Henryk is very prone to shooting and parrying you, especially if you go in with r1 attacks only.

You can save yourself some runback if you don't mind having a longer run through the Cathedral Ward. Before opening the gates for Eileen to come in, spawn in at the Tomb of Oedon. The initial runback if you die before engaging Henryk is longer, but if you die against Henryk, you'll respawn right in his face. Consider that worth it, especially if you want to keep Eileen alive.

I would advise you to try and learn to sneak up and visceral attack. If you come in from Oedon Chapel, and you walk slowly, you can drop onto the roof where Viola's corpse is, and can sneak to the back of Henryk, as long as you practically hug the gravestones. If you then charge and r2 him, you get a free visceral to start this battle off with. That can make or break it.

Henryk's health bar remains reduced if you die in the fight.

Eileen will jump in after like a minute. Henryk is highly likely to visceral her. Once eileen joins, shoot henryk. use all your ammunition on this. Shoot him. shoot him and make sure he doesn't visceral her. Take potshots with your main weapon if you can, but once eileen is there, focus on harrying him. bleed yourself for bullets if you have to, use throwing knives, and if you got some from the cathedral ward, poison knives work on him too.

If you die against him, that isn't the end of the world, but it will make things difficult. try to keep Eileen alive, shoot henryk. That and the entrance visceral tends to do the trick as far as i have learned. Maybe use fire paper or bolt paper if you have that, but don't activate that right behind him. do it from a bit away. He can hear the application, and doing that ruins the entrance visceral.

Darkbeast Paarl

Paarl here is a fun boss, as far as I think. It is also prerequisite to befriending Djura. Paarl is also a bit of a hard nut to crack, especially if you lock on to it. The camera is a bit of a bastard.

First off, you need Lightning resistance. I'd personally suggest doing Paarl after you help Eileen take care of Henryk. He is right above Paarl in this, because Henryk does practically work as a boss in his own right. Why do I suggest Paarl after Henryk? Because you can buy his set from the Insight Messengers after you kill him, and it has the highest Lightning resistance in the game. I know I said fashion likely won't save you. In this case, the lightning resistance will however afford you at least one more hit to tank, so wear that. You will be blindingly yellow, but it's better.

Paarl, as a beast, is weak to serration and fire.

You can have summoned NPC help for Paarl. Depending on what you have done so far, you can get either Defector Antal or Confederate Yamamura the Wanderer. Yamamura is available if you freed/killed him in the DLC, and when you wear the Impurity oath rune. Antal is slightly better in this instance, because he has a flamesprayer. You can only summon one of them, they are mutually exclusive.

Don't lock onto Paarl, it moves quickly and it is large. That means chaotic camera movement.

Paarl screams a lot, and those screams tend to herald it doing a lightning explosion. Be aware of that.

if you stand underneath it, that tends to be relatively safe until it starts to explode.

Molotovs and oil urns are your friend, as is fire paper. Use them if you can.

After killing Paarl, use the lamp to go back to the dream. then, open the doors and run towards djura's tower without killing the beasts. You will get the chance to spare the beasts. spare them, and he will stop shooting at you and give you the powder keg badge and a gesture. Friends are rare in yharnam, and the top of his tower is a nice spot to relax for a bit.

Vicar Amelia

Amelia is not as hard as one thinks.

She is a beast. that means serration and fire. you know the drill by now. ;)

You can summon Old Hunter Henriett to help here. She has a kirkhammer and a repeating pistol. She pulls her weight, and does a good job! Summon her if you got insight to spare.

Vicar amelia has large telegraphed swipes and can be dodged into. If you have Henriett, she reliably goes and becomes bait.

If you did well with the Cleric Beast, this all applies to Amelia as well. She is after all a cleric beast as well.

Amelia tries to heal in her later phase, when screaming. She gets a white-ish glow, but you can easily outpace her healing with damage. If you aren't confident in it, throw some Numbing Mists at her.

I... don't have many tips for her, she is, all things considered, a bit of a "repeat what you learned" case of a boss. Not that hard, but also not really introducing new mechanics, y'know?

The Witch(es) of Hemwick aka granny wants your eyes

This boss can be cheesed if you are willing to get rid of all your insight.

If you have insight, they summon Mad Ones. The easy way to circumvent that is to enter the arena, see the boss, bold hunters mark out, and then spend all your insight in the dream. that way, the witches can't summon mad ones, and on their own they are relatively harmless. They go somewhat invisble, but that isn't a big issue when you run close.

Once you kill the first, a second witch shows up, and if you let her, she will revive the first. The second one doesn't really do stuff for the boss health bar for some reason, but you do need to gank them both.

Really, just do yourself the favor and spend the insight, it makes this all so much easier.

Shadows of Yharnam

These proto-nazgul are not all that fun. There are three of them, and they have different weaknesses. We have Candle, Sword, and Mace.

You can summon for this, if you have the Impurity Rune equipped. You can get the Younger Madaras Twin or Henryk. I would personally go for Henryk, as he has higher health and also intelligence. Younger Madaras Twin can and will get lost in the forest. Henryk doesn't.

Your best bet is to focus on one of them at a time. For all that they have three health bars, they share a trigger pool, and when one of them reaches a certain threshold or their combined damage does, they go into phase two and sprout snakes. You will want to have gotten rid of one of the pyromancers at that point, or at least have them close to that.

I would suggest spending some insight to get shaman bone blades. If you did that already, excellent! they are a close quarter item, and if used on enemies, makes them attack other enemies for a bit. That is tide-turning here, so use them. You can have three of them, and they are worth it.

The one with the fireball has the least hp, the sword only one the most.

When they enter phase two, they have a vastly extended reach. try to move in close and be quick, and be liberal with using elemental paper, it's a small bonus. I would personally suggest bolt, but fire does it just as well.

Once two shadows are dead, the third gets the power to summon snakes. they are large. they hurt. Be quick as you can be once the other two are down, because he won't wait that long to summon them.

All in all, divide and conquer is your main strategy. Get Henryk to help you, he is really good here. Good luck.

Rom the Vacuous Spider (photo a stand in because arachnophobes)

Rom is... well, she is a summoner.

Rom is weak to Bolt and fire does a nice chunk of damage too. If you have it, use the Tonitrus. She also takes extra damage from Kinhunter gems.

You can summon for this fight. The options are Henryk, The Younger Madaras Twin, and Mensis Scholar Damian. All of them have their uses, but they are mutually exclusive. You can summon Henryk AND the Madaras twin, or Damian. Henryk is a good damage dealer, but Damian uses the Choir Bell, which means an additional source of healing. You need to decide which you value more in this case.

Rom will not attack you the first time you enter the arena. That gives you some time to prepare. Your first strike will not damage her, it will merely aggro her.

Rom teleports three times. During her curl-up animation, you can still damage her.

Rom will summon a horde of her children to fight you. Their front is hard to damage, because their faces are practically stone. This holds true for Rom too. Going in from the side is your best bet.

After she teleports the first time, Rom will begin to summon meteors. Meteors deal arcane damage and it sucks. When she teleports the second time, she gains access to ice spikes. they also do arcane damage.

Rom is a war of attrition. You should go in from the side, and if you have it, use your flamesprayer buffed with Bone Marrow Ash. that can eat through her health quite well!

I strongly encourage summoning someone to help, that makes the romlings manageable. their health isn't affected by the summon, unlike rom's own.

When you approach Queen Yharnam after the fight, you will transition into the Blood Moon Phase. I strongly suggest you save who you wish to before that, and tie up loose ends. You can teleport back here via the lantern at any time.

Amygdala aka The Surveillance System of Yharnam

This is the Amygdala. It is a Great One proper. Despite that, it isn't all that difficult in this instance. It only gets bad in the Defiled Chalice.

Amygdala is weak to Fire, Bolt and Arcane. It does not get bonus damage for Beast or Kin.

Amygdala has a huge lower area where you can stand practically unmolested. If you hang around behind it, amygdala will eventually jump, and try to land on you. If you take two steps forward and have a weapon like Ludwig's Holy Blade or the Burial blade, and charge the r2 in full, you will nail it right in the head after it lands. That deals a shitton of damage, and is in fact the best way I can tell you to damage it.

Amgydala will summon a laser in a zigzag pattern. Not the most fun attack, but when you get close enough, that isn't a problem anymore.

When you damage it enough, it will throw a tantrum and tear out its arms to use as clubs. The jump-bait will still work though, so keep on using that.

The One Reborn

The One Reborn is very weak to Bolt. It does not get bonus damage for beast or kin.

You can summon for this fight. Options are Defector Antal and if you freed/killed him in the Nightmare and wear the Impurity Rune, you can summon Confederate Yamamura the Wanderer. Both are viable in this fight, and you may go for whoever appeals to you more. They are mutually exclusive. Antal carries a church pick and flamesprayer, Yamamura a piercing rifle and a chikage. He can potentially cause rapid poison damage, antal may be better if you want elemental damage.

Heavy weapons will do well, but blunt damage weapons less so. TOR has decent blunt defense, so the Kirkhammer will not do all that well.

TOR has six bell ringing maidens on the ramparts. You need to kill these first, because they will heal it and support it. Once they are down, feel free to have a go at this disgusting mass of putrid flesh.

Both up close and far away has its hurdles. It can stretch to reach you, and it vomits up acid if you are too close. Focus on dodging and keeping yourself alive. Keep the electricity on your weapon, and things will work out.

This boss is more annoying than bad. You can do it!

The Celestial Emissary

Weak to Bolt and Kin gems. This is a failed great one experiment.

This is a bit of a puzzle boss. At first you merely see a lot of walking Kin, with no specially distinguished boss. It will be the one keeping at the back, so try to ignore the ones rushing for you. Keep taking care of them, but go for the one in the back.

After a while, it will grow huge and grow tentacles from the head. This boss does not deal well with thrust damage either, so consider using a transformed saw spear, the rifle spear, or a stake driver equipped with kinhunter gems.

You can use the arena to your advantage to get the smaller kin into a bottleneck near the entrance of the arena, and pick them off one by one. The do respawn eventually, but all in all, this isn't too difficult of a boss.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos, aka the big unknowable Girl

Ebrietas is a Great One, and is weak to Bolt, Kin, and Fire.

Her reach is long, and your patience needs to be longer.

You can summon Mensis Scholar Damian for this. His use varies a bit and depends on RNG, but he is decent for this. Use him if you feel like it!

Like with rom, your first attack on her will not deal damage. She is non-hostile at first and at the back of the arena. Damian will not walk in until you aggro'd her.

Phase one she crawls towards you slowly, and goes for tentacle lashes and head slams if close enough. Every once in a while she discovers her inner speed demon and rushes towards you. if she spits blood, have a sedative ready, because it will almost always max out your frenzy meter unless you managed your insight and outfit well.

Come phase two, she will begin using what is a scaled up version of A Call Beyond. She also has an aura that will damage you whenever you are in the vicinity of it.

You can in theory be behind her back and between her tails and continuously deal thrust damage, be it with a fully charged r2 stake driver or a holy blade. This runs the risk of you getting locked in a corner and her killing you though, so use that trick with caution.

Ebrietas is a boss I personally struggled with, and that I don't look forward to fighting again. Just... try to wear her down slowly. Don't get greedy.

The Bloody Crow of Cainhurst

Another member of the "not technically a boss"-squad, like Henryk.

Like Henryk, he hits like a truck. Unlike Henryk, you got unlimited attempts with this one. If you killed Henryk, you will face the Bloody Crow. If you didn't help Eileen, you will face her. I don't know how to fight Eileen, because I got very good at killing Henryk.

He uses Quickening, which means he essentially teleports rather than dodges. He is a bitch. He also uses a Chikage, so he can inflict rapid poison on you. You can poison him too, though. It won't be easy, but you can.

He uses a Chikage (Fully upgraded), a Repeating Pistol, an Old Hunter's Bone for Quickening, and a single Blood Vial. when you get him to half health, he will heal himself up. You can stop that with Numbing Mist if you feel like it.

This will be rough. I won't even pretend you won't be in for the long haul here. This Hunter has more HP than some bosses you faced so far, and he has rather good defenses. He seems to be somewhat weak to Bolt.

He is fast and a bastard and good at inflicting viscerals on you. You need to dodge, and if you are good at parrying, be ready to be disappointed. He teleports away.

You just kind of... Need to be careful here and be ready to dodge. If you got a blue elixir, you may be able to come closer to him than otherwise right at the start, and with some luck and skill, you can possibly get a starting visceral off. That isn't a guarantee, but it's worth trying.

Good luck. Remember, you got all night for this. Unlike Henryk, he can't kill Eileen, and you won't stay dead in any way that matters. If needed, throw everything and the kitchen sink at him. Knives of all kinds, oil urns, molotovs, whatever works. Try it all.

Martyr Logarius, the Corpsicle

Martyr Logarius is a fight where you gotta watch the environment. The roof has no guardrails and you WILL fall off if you aren't careful.

The corpsicle is weak to all sorts of physical damage, and has resistance to all sorts of elemental and poison damage. Just hit him.

You can't summon npc help, but if you can, i support using online to get yourself a proper cooperator.

He is fast and agile, and occasionally he flies, but he is also highly predictable in his attacks.

Phase one he will summon skull spheres. if you run past them and at him, he often doesn't get off more than two, and his scythe telegraphs well. You can stagger him. Just in general, dodge towards him and through the attacks, that works wonders.

Once he drives his staff in the ground, go for that to destroy his armor and stagger him.

When he summons phantom swords, you reached phase two. Phase two means this bastard flies like a pastor on wires.

He becomes more aggressive and chases you down, but that only means more parry opportunities. Single shot firearms work better here than the blunderbuss.

when he flies, attack the sword in the ground, that dispels the phantom weapons.

when he tries to cast a spirit wave, go back. you can't interrupt that. otherwise, parry, parry, parry.

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare, aka Soggy Todd Howard

Welcome, dear hunter, to the worst fight in the game. This is a walking simulator combined with a rage simulator.

Micolash may be a fucking twink, but he hits like a truck. Do not be deceived. He has an augur of Ebrietas, and will use it to nigh on instakill you. He also has A Call Beyond. Be really, really careful.

He is relatively susceptible to poison. If you got poison knives, you may cheese him a little. If you hit him with a throwing knife before getting into his range and poison him (should take 2-3 knives), he will start a cycle of "run, disappear, come back at first spot, rinse repeat"". This will go on as long as he is poisoned. It's slow, but it will help.

Remember to take care of his marionettes, they do hit like hell and can also respawn.

After a while he will go into a single room where you can whale on him until he is at half health, after which he will run again. Not exactly fun to deal with. He will summon two marionettes, so take care of them, and stagger him if you get the chance.

Once in second phase, you can absolutely cheese him, should you have Simon's Bowblade. After giving him the run-around in the upper arena area, you can drop into his end room ahead of time, and approach him from behind. If you stand in the entranceway, you can shoot him in the back again and again, and he won't run into the room you are in, or attack you. This man doesn't deserve the honor of a fair fight. Kill him.

Mergo's Wet Nurse

Congratulations! Depending on the Ending you are going for, this is your final boss. This is Mergo's Wet Nurse. She is a Great One proper.

You may find the music a familiar tune. It is the full melody of the one Gascoigne's music box played.

The Wet Nurse is horrendously weak to fire, bolt and rapid poison. If you have dirty blood gems or a chikage, now is the time to use them.

You can make relatively light work of her by staying behind her and using charged r2 attacks. That aside, beware that she likes to twirl.

This is a war of attrition. She will summon fog and doubles after a while, but the doubles go down to a single hit. once this aptly named Nightmare Fog is over, go back to the grindstone of hit and run with charged r2 attacks.

She is NOT all that threatening, all things considered. The biggest issue is visibility.

After defeating her, wait a while to see the Nightmare Slain message. Congrats, you killed your first higher god! If you go back to see Queen Yharnam now, she will bow to you in thanks.

Gehrman, the First Hunter

This is it. This is the second potential final boss, depending on whether or not you consumed the three cords.

Gehrman is another Hunter Boss. He is distinguished by long reach and rapid burst movement, yet also has relatively slow limping speed otherwise. He has about three phases.

Like every human, he is rather allergic to being electrocuted or set on fire. Bolt and Fire are your friends, as are parries and Arcane damage.

At first, his burial blade is transformed. he will dash in to try and reel you in, and he is really good at that. However, he telegraphs, and that allows you to parry and visceral him. Use that.

After a while, he will transform his burial blade and go in for close combat, This is the point he brings out his own gun to shoot and visceral you. Be aware of the distance his gunfire covers, and dodge with it. Try not to be greedy, he is good at interrupting you.

After a while, he will get to phase three. He will rise into the air and absorb energy before releasing an energy blast. This blast reduces your health, but you can attack him somewhat unimpeded while he gathers the energy. This is where things get tricky, because he will now have an aerial projectile attack, switches between weapon modes at will, and has a bit of super armor. He gets more aggressive, and you need to be able to adapt to this.

If you defeat him and are low on resources, but consumed the umbilical cords, Bold Hunters Mark out. Restock. And then go back in, because you have one more boss to kill.

The Moon Presence, Flora of the Moon

Your last Great One. The final Boss proper, should you have found and used the three cords and fought Gehrman.

You will kill her. That is not optional. You have consumed the cords. You felled bigger foes than her. She is merely the last on the menu and she knows it.

Flora is weak to all elementals. Be it bolt or fire or arcane. Poison will do nothing to her. She is the only entity in the game where it will never proc.

You will want to carry the Choir Bell. She can stop you from healing, and the choir bell negates that.

Flora has less health than Gehrman and the Wet Nurse. She is frail but fast, and uses that. She will jump around the field to fell you.

Her head is her weak point. Aim for that if you can.

Do NOT get greedy. leave yourself the stamina to dodge backwards and escape from her swipes to heal up.

Standing behind her tends to be the safest spot, unless she winds up for a spinning whip attack.

When she makes it rain blood, your healing is being blocked. Use the choir bell, because oh man will you need it. When she uses her Doom Gaze attack and a red shockwave runs out, you reach one hp. no fail. if you can't heal then, you are fucked. HAVE THE BELL.

sidesteps are a good way to survive phase one. Flora has a tendency to attack straight forward.

Good luck. She too will fall.

DLC BOSSES

Ludwig the Accursed/Ludwig the Holy Blade

You have the DLC. That means you have a whole new frontier to fight in, to dismantle. This includes this former Church paragon, Ludwig. He has two phases that are drastically different.

His first phase, he is a beast proper. Serration, fire, the works. He howls and shrieks, and moves erratically.

You can summon for this fight. In the Nightmare Church, you can find Henriett. Slightly hidden in a corner near Ludwig's cave, you find Valtr, should you wear Impurity. I suggest Valtr, as he carries the Whirligig Saw. It doesn't matter much if he is Master of the League or the Beast Eater. Either way, he will work better than Henriett. Furthermore, should he survive, you can gain a Vermin.

Ludwig will swipe and jump in phase one. He will move erratically, try to run you over or kick you, and after a while, the second mouth on his shoulder will spew milky arcane vomit that has a long reach. Ludwig is deceptively fast. Try to stay on his sides to immobilize him, and try not to be backed into a corner.

When you reach the halfway phase, he will transition into the Ludwig the Holy Blade phase. He now fights completely differently. Furthermore, the Beast gem bonuses no longer apply, and serration no longer damages him extra. The game no longer sees him as a beast.

Ludwig now fights with the Holy Moonlight Sword. He has long reach but is slower, and it is in fact possible now to duck under them and anticipate which ones he is liable to use.

If he raises his sword straight up, be ready to dodge to the side. He is about to summon a blast of energy right in front of him. If he holds his sword down, dash back as he is about to unleash an aoe blast.

He is no longer susceptible to side damage, but if you break his super armor in front, he will stagger and you can visceral.

If it gets dicey with blood vials, there are five at the back of the arena, behind the railing. Get them if you need to.

Laurence, the first Vicar

You can summon Valtr for this fight as well. If that is useful depends entirely on whether or not if he wants a dunk in the lava or not. First phase is worth it, third not so much.

Laurence is the only beast not susceptible to fire. He is on fire. If you want elemental damage, go for Bolt.

He is a reskinned Cleric Beast that occasionally explodes into fire. The first two phases are essentially the Cleric Beast again. I would suggest wearing the Charred Hunter garb to avoid burning painfully.

He may be largely the Cleric Beast all over, but that fire explosion hurts like hell. it will come and you will need extra vials for that. Be prepared.

Phase three, his legs dissolve into lava and he turns the floor into a hazard as he crawls after you and vomits up more lava. This is where Valtr's pathfinding ai will suffer and he is liable to get himself killed.

Lead elixirs can make it so you won't flinch from the lava, but it doesn't reduce the damage you can get. Use with care.

In phase three, try to keep to his side, and stay away from the back.

The Living Failures

These fine gentlemen are Kin and failed celestial emissiaries.

They are weak to bolt, fire, kinhunter gems, and susceptible to rapid poison.

They share a healthpool. Being able to inflict rapid poison is a fast way to kill them. The available League summon, Yamamura the Wanderer, may inflict this status. He is a valuable ally, both as a meat shield and fighter.

There are four on the field at all times. two melee, two mages. They will come at you even so. Divide and conquer.

My suggested weapon is a decently upgraded whirligig fully equipped with Kinhunter gems. a transformed, charged L1 or R2 is going to tear through the individual failures and make them need to respawn. In that time, you can go for the next one and reduce them relatively well.

You can use a shaman bone blade to make them attack each other. Enjoy with caution.

When they raise their arms, seek shelter under the lumenflower. They are summoning meteors. Take cover, then right after, shred their health some more.

All in all, don't get greedy and you'll be fine.

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

It's her. The face of the DLC. The former apprentice of Gehrman.

Maria is another Hunter type boss. And by god by golly does it show.

She changes weapon types at leisure, and transforms her rakuyo freely. She is agile, and can visceral you. The animation for that differs depending on character gender, btw ;)

However, you can visceral HER too. She is rather susceptible to it too. You can parry her, be it with the gun or the augur of ebrietas, and shear through her health until she enters phase two.

Phase two starts with her stabbing herself to coat the rakuyo in blood. she now has about double to triple her old range. Be careful of that. She remains fast, and she practically dances around you. You can still parry her, but be aware that she can reach you from halfway across the arena now and deals blood damage rather than primarily physical.

She uses quickening, which makes her rather good at dodging you. Be aware of that.

Come phase three, she will rise into the air and culminate into a fiery explosion. Cheers. Her blood is now on fire. You will be in pain. Like in phase two, her reach is extended, and it isn't really safe anymore to quickstep through her attacks or rest behind her. There is about a second delay between the blood and the fire.

You will want to move in quick and fast at this point, and may consider using the beast roar to stunlock her in combination with a quick weapon like the blades of mercy.

Good luck.

The Orphan of Kos

This boss is a Superboss.

It is a Great One. Unlike its remaining kin, this boss does not get all that much damage from Bolt, and is weaker to Fire.

This boss has two phases and no NPC summon. I would advise to try and get summon help online if you can. If not, that is fine too. Godspeed tho, you madlad.

The orphan is highly aggressive, but won't start attacking until you are halfway into the arena.

The arena has water. I would encourage to stand in there, because you can't fall off, and it is more even than the beach.

The orphan likes to jump and has more range than you think. You can parry it, but I would honestly focus on surviving more. If it jumps, dash forward so it sails over you. Try to stay on its left side, that way the attacks won't hit you as much.

It can be ranged by throwing globs of its placenta. That will explode and have more side range than you think. Don't dodge into it, sidestep. This will still happen in phase two.

Slow and steady wins the race here. This Great One may be freshly born, but it fights almost like a Hunter and it hurts.

I can honestly only really say that you should use firepaper, keep oil urns on hand, and also some molotovs. Some throwing knives too, in case you run out of bullets and vials.

Once it reaches phase two, it grows and becomes even more aggressive. The weapon can't reach as far anymore, but it jumps like a kid on energy drinks and sugar now, and is more than intent to grind you into paste.

When it screams, be aware that the corpse of Kos is now summoning Lightning. Dodge those waves, they hurt. Don't try to attack the orphan, just stay clear.

Don't get greedy, and take it slow. I can't tell you much more. Godspeed. You can do this.

That is it! Good hunting, and may you stay with us for a long long time!

[beannoss]

Off the back of this great post by @hermy-97 about Endo's choice in Twilight's alias last names and specifically the comedy therein, I had MANY THOUGHTS! But in a DIFFERENT DIRECTION! I didn't want to hijack the original post though, so am jumping off separately. (Manga spoilers discussed herein)

Following in OP's footsteps and borrowing here from Google's definition, here's what Google says for 'forge':

1. make or shape (a metal object) by heating it in a fire or furnace and beating or hammering it. (eg: "he forged a great suit of black armor") 2. create (a relationship or new conditions). (eg: "the two women forged a close bond") 3. produce a copy or imitation of (a document, signature, banknote, or work or art) for the purpose of deception. (eg: "the signature on the check was forged")

As OP covered off meaning three, I wanted to look more at meanings one and two!

I’d personally argue number one also applies if taken as metaphor.

1. make or shape (a metal object) by heating it in a fire or furnace and beating or hammering it.

I think it works broadly for how trauma can sometimes feel (for better and, more often, for worse), but more specifically in the context of Twilight & SxF, I think about how 'forged' is often used as a metaphor for people's experiences of war, speaking to how those experiences shape them (particularly: 'forged in the crucible of war'). Indeed, ash is a frequent motif throughout Twilight's backstory chapters:

Personally I'd say its reasonable to extend the metaphor back further into Twilight's adolescence and childhood, given how (understandably) angry, hurt and grief-stricken it left him, leading him into the military (undoubtedly though he also, ironically, joined the army as a means of survival: food, shelter, a desperation to do something and have some form of regularity even if it was within the context of the military and a war campaign, etc). Of course this could also apply to many other adults in the series, and their experiences of the two wars.

I’d say definition two applies as well; OP noted Twilight's honeypot missions in this instance, and I think it carries further, outside of either honeypot or other missions.

2. create (a relationship or new conditions).

It can be taken as a whole within the Forger household, after all Twilight did create the Forgers. But more importantly to me, this meaning applies particularly by way of what Anya and Yor are doing within the family, their choices and aims, and how they’re influencing and shaping the Forgers. And then, of course, Twilight’s choices in return, both under the explicit guise of for the mission and those times when the mission is curiously (ahem) absent from or delayed in his thought process. They three are forging something real, regardless of what the family began as, and regardless of how they may be looking at it presently.

I'd tend to say that, of our three, Anya is doing this most intentionally: I know Twilight does a lot as Loid, and I think the tone he set for the family actually does impact this collective act of creation fairly substantially. However, he still tells himself the family is temporary: maybe it's nice while it lasts but it will end and that's that. Whereas Anya is, insofar as she can conceive of it as a five year old, very deliberately trying to create bonds and smooth possible fissures, with an explicit view of everlasting. Which makes sense, since she's the only family member who knows the full circumstances, even if she doesn't and can't (and shouldn't) understand how complex it all is.

Yor, of course, also does a lot but again, I don't think she sees it as a specific project; in part because our favourite assassin isn't known for her forward planning, and also because it's simply how she moves through the world. And that's speaking: that Yor's impulses, instincts and choices build into forever-types of foundations, without her necessarily thinking of them that way. There are many tragedies within SxF but the one I think of with Yor particularly is that she is such a community person and particularly a community builder, but due to her traumas and circumstances, she hadn't had the opportunity to live that part of herself. It's one of my favourite things, watching her come into her own and live out her values and priorities inside and outside the home. /side track. All of which to say, she is, definitionally, a forger. As here, where she creates bonds with not only her colleagues but demonstrates connecting threads across generations and individual experiences.

The definition around creating something also applies to Twilight’s mission in Strix — preventing war actually also necessitates the forging of bonds. It’s unclear how things will shake out with, for instance, Yuri, but Twilight-as-Loid-Forger is already a positive presence in several circles (his hospital job for instance) and Yor’s presence is also increasingly positive (at work and it seems possibly/probably with Melinda) and Anya’s also making positive waves in her circles (with Becky, and while I think Damian's trajectory is a bit less linear, I know others argue that she's positively influencing him as well).

(If I wanted to go deeper, I'd also borrow a Watsonian perspective and chat a bit about what it says about Twilight to choose the name Forger, given his clear wants for family and his equal surety he can't ever have one, even from the first few pages of the manga... Perhaps in another meta.)

I think it's also worth noting that although Endo goes to this particular joke well a few times, Forger stands distinct. Neither 'Phony' (def: not genuine, fraudulent) nor 'Spoof(y)' (def: imitate for comedic effect; hoax or trick someone) have any sort of additional meaning along the lines of actual creation. And of course, in the case of Spoofy, Twilight is tricking the military; and with Fiona, bless her, any sort of romantic relationship with Twilight would only ever be fraudulent.

I wanted to round things out with one more definition, this time taken from duckduckgo's:

"To advance gradually but steadily."

If that isn't the tune of the Forger family and Spy x Family generally, I don't know what is.

[fledermausbend]

And finally, after many moons of this story (and only a few weeks in-game l o l), that brings us to the end of Annabelle's story...or does it? 👀

Some rambling about this portion of the project below the cut, if you're interested in some directorial thoughts.

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So as some of you know, I had been on a lengthy hiatus due to school and life issues for a while before picking the game back up in August. I had actually teased the very beginning of Annabelle's side story here, back in November of 2023 (💀), but then had returned to Adrian briefly before going on my hiatus. After I returned, I picked back up with him because the scene was incomplete, before returning to Annabelle and Sofia here - literally like 15 minutes had passed in-game from the previous update, but it had been about a year since we'd actually seen them, which is crazy. I honestly had no idea what I was doing with these guys - I knew I wanted to have Annabelle and Sofia reconcile and become close again, but I had no clue how to approach this. The idea to focus on the Werewolves pack was just a quick idea I came up with, as a sort of mirror to Caleb's side story which focused on the RoM pack - I had no idea how much I would fall down the lore rabbit hole with Lily, Greg, and the other Moonwood Collective members.

I also started getting a lot more followers and attention right as I started posting about the 'inciting incident', so now I had a lot of motivation and support to continue, which has been absolutely amazing. A few people have told me that they really enjoyed Sof and 'Belle's stuff, which is incredibly endearing to hear!! I have a lot of trouble feeling like I belong in fandom communities - always have - so getting so much kindness from people has been amazing, and I'm so grateful to anyone who has ever liked, reblogged, or left a comment.

I think I've really made some strides with my storytelling throughout this mini project, with my improved post-processing, my new ReShade preset, etc - some of the more ambitious ventures I attempted with this sidestory, like changing how I incorporate moodlets and doing fully visual adaptations of in-game popup gameplay (e.g., the tunnels) I think turned out really well. I'm excited to take what I've learned and use it going forward!

One thing I will say, and I'm sure some have picked up on - I did have to kinda rush through the ending of Annabelle's story, for several reasons. It was really dragging (I only started increasing my per-update image count to substantial numbers halfway through), and despite literally being a sidestory, it actually ended up being as long as the entirety of Gen1, which is crazy. I also kinda meandered in the beginning I think, rather than making certain themes I had in mind more clear (redemption, communication, forgiveness, etc). For this reason, I do understand that some may feel that the pacing was stilted and the characters' justifications/coming around a little odd, especially Greg. I tried to make it so that he had some parallels to Annabelle, with her also making constant mistakes and having to learn from them and the whole conversation about how 'fucking up does not make you a fuckup', but it's a bit easier to reconcile that ideology when it's a 19 year old girl who doesn't take things seriously vs an ancient old man who murdered his wife in a fit of blind rage. This is something I'm always working to improve in my stories, so I definitely learned a lot here. Now that we're returning to the actual main character of Gen2, Adrian, I think I can avoid this by planning ahead a bit more and more blatantly emphasizing where I want these themes to come up. And of course, if any of you have any thoughts/feedback, I'd love to hear it!

We also haven't seen the last of Annabelle, Sofia, Alice, and co, so stay tuned to see what they get up to later in the story!