#it’s not even that good i can’t lie
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this anime has no fandom whatsoever like i cannot find ANYTHING online
Obscure Anime of The Day:
Problem Children Are Coming From Another World, Aren't They?
Aired: 2013
Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Ecchi, Fantasy, Historical, Magic, Supernatural, Superpower
#mondaiji-tachi ga isekai kara kuru sou desu yo?#mondaiji#problem children are coming from another world aren't they?#god damn it why do i always end up liking niche fandoms#it’s not even that good i can’t lie
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I think a big misunderstanding is the power people give Curly to actually change things about the way the pony express operates or could’ve done things on the Tulpar.
We are talking about a company that docks pay for bad synergy despite mandated psych evals that should tell which staff members would work well together, only allots for 5 hours of sleep despite having literally no other tasks to truly do and locks all resources behind the access of one person. The last one is likely to manage resources and make it easier to justify collective punishment and blaming one person for it; someone needs something in “excess” or the captain gives in? It’s all on them your pay is docked. Instant resentment.
It’s insidious how the company works, it’s by design to distract you from coming after them, to force tensions to line their own pockets. With all the restrictions and forced interactions, altercations are bound to happen. 5 hours of sleep a day, limited sources of entertainment, no real tasks… the monotony alone would cause bad cabin fever, mix that with just only one absolute mediator and you get the exact environment that allows shit like in the game to happen.
The idea he could just complain and try to throw his weight around to get them to dig into their pocket for the crews comfort is laughable and misses the predatory and dehumanizing aspect of capitalism the Pony Express represents. Curly was and is still just another asset to them. Being a top show pony doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to the actual top. He is the top of the working ladder, not whoever’s in corporate, he wouldn’t even be on the bottom step unlike what Jimmy perceives. The resounding recommendations he would get are almost mocking as they throw him out like nothing just like the rest. Being a shitty fucking company, how much do you bet they’d mean anything anyways, especially since he wanted to leave the field all together.
He made a fuss and they didn’t listen, he says he should’ve done more but you can tell he knows it wouldn’t have changed anything. Jobs like this are willing to make a sacrifice if it means even a penny more. Curly makes a bigger fuss they likely would’ve just found an “unrelated” reason to fire him, hired a more pliable guy or, terrifyingly, promoted Jimmy. The company was failing, going to shut down whether anything happened on the ship or not. But knowing that they were shutting down and that everyone, including him, would be out of a job with this being their last paycheck, he had to factor in not destroying the last bit of their financial stabilities combined with every other issue on the vessel and his own. He gets another cryopod or locks and then he has to break to them that they are not only fired but there will be substantial cuts to their paychecks due to the “upgrades” (things that already should’ve been in place on their part) on top of anything else that could be docked along the way.
You can blame him for saying it so early into the trip but then again, if he mentioned it later who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse? On the capitalism side alone how would people in a galaxy away from home, out of a job and already stir crazy react? Don’t get me started on how Jimmy would have reacted if he realized he only had two days left to fix what would be a very hard to miss “problem” in his head…
I can’t even consider explaining this as devils advocate because it’s just facts of the world we and they live in and factors that heavily affected the situation. People are just so quick to make claims on the ease of the choices when P.E literally makes it hard to choose to do anything but suck it up.
#this is also like a sort of point that while I wanted Curly to do more for Anya I realized he would have to jeaporsiE the crews safety in#some way like if they needed the cryopods one person would be left without one and like it would be curly he’d offer but don’t think any of#them would be happy or feel okay with letting him die over a rapist? he kills Jimmy and now he has to stand trial and be arrested for murder#because it’s not self defense or manslaughter like they could obviously lie but he wouldn’t let them do that in case of a sort of black box#or guilt on their mind specifically with Daisuke who would likely be kept out of the loop not to mention it’s a dead body with a limited#likely recycled air supply so again he’s getting tried for murder and they are down a cryopod#not to mentions again the fact that you need a copilot like I know like aviation law and shit is crazy and like not common knowledge#but you bed a second set of eyes or someone to trade off with so you don’t loose ur concentration or doze and crash#like they don’t just sit their and do nothing like Jimmy probably did some of the time cause Curly likely didn’t want to make him#cause like pissed off and spiteful Jimmy manning the controls even if just helping is not something he wants to deal with and risk their#lives but i digress I genuinely think the biggest flaw of Curly’s in the situation is being a man who could not handle or understand the#emotional gravity of what Anya experienced especially at the hands of someone who he was also#emotonal/mentally mistreated by and wanted to so badly to believe was his friend and improving#like he did not offer her enough or the proper emotional/physical security he could’ve as a captain nor friend but in that it goes right#back to the systems at play that make it so he isn’t meant or supposed to understand so it can’t be perpetuated and blah blah blah how many#times do I have to explain systematic oppression to certain groups in this fandom and it isn’t cut n dry of good guys bad guys and victims#as outliers of the tow categories l#mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#the pony express#The Tulpar
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good omens fanartists, i love u most ardently. good omens fic writers, i would commit arson for you. good omens shitposters, i cherish and adore u. good omens angst meta-analyzers,,,my therapist knows your names
#this is a lie bc apparently I can’t properly submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known EVEN IN THERAPY#hi alex. hi fells. hi emma. hi zoey. hi ineffableteeth#i love/hate u all. I’m simultaneously high fiving u and also chucking u into a volcano#other meta analysers this also includes u i hate u and love u and would fight god for you also#crowley#good omens 2#aziraphale#aziracrow#go2#ineffable lovers#ineffable husbands#ineffable wives#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens meta#good omens fanfic#good omens fanart#michael sheen#david tennant#crowley x aziraphale#aziraphale x crowley#gomens#neil gaiman#ineffable divorce#azicrow#gomens 2#good omens spoilers#good omens shitpost#shitpost
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romeo!! or rock….? idk he’s the ds guy. y’know
#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#romeo (ds)#bokumono#trying to make the way i draw romeo distinct from rock#romeo is more dog coded than rock#(dog ball antics)#hence he is softer#(i choose to believe this guy can’t surf even though leona has dialogue saying she wants to watch him surf)#he hangs around in the lobby to greet customers while louis is in the kitchen… it’s not labor….#i bet he’s just helping so he can hit on everyone who arrives from mineral town…#harvest moon#harvest moon ds#story of seasons#hmds cute#harvest moon ds cute#he still goes in the rock collection#here’s hoping for a ds remake that gives the characters more distinctions#romeo’s hair is long in the back and his necklace has a slightly different design#those are the only things that i can confidently say aren’t just due to the ds having a limited palette#rock (ds)#also subconsciously shells fanfic snuck into this drawing i think#by durotoswrites. very good fanfic#‘never coloring another fucking sketchbook scribble using the markup tool ever again’ turns out to be a bald faced lie#cora just use ibis or something photos app keeps crashing#no#sorry all ds brainrot lately (brain on fire simulator)#brainrockt….#i tried to capture the vacancy behind his eyes. there’s nothing there#i’m sorry the saturation on my phone was goofed. i’m sorry everyone’s retinas
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Are you worried about long term health consequences of being so fat? I mean it’s hot but still.
oh yeah 😭😭 i actually had a huge medical phobia growing up (i would have fainting episodes in the lobby lmfao)—but honestly i plan on trying to mitigate it if i can? i try to stay active and believe it or not i make attempts to stay away from sugar… regular dr’s appointments, supplements, staying hydrated… fat people in my family generally live until their 70s so i have a good shot at being relatively healthy for a while haha
#ngl i would lose a good amount of weight if i really had to#but idk if i would like being at a smaller size#and like. i wanna have kids so even though it’s hot i don’t think i could get as big as to limit my mobility#also can’t lie. a reduction is always on the table#i don’t think i want one now but after kids. perhaps#talk#ask
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shoutout to hook for crushing on emma and both of her parents. kind of a boss bitch move tbh
#hook x charming is some GOOD SHIT I can’t even lie to you#but I am steadily beginning to really really enjoy captain swan#my guy is smitten asf and I’m obsessed#he’s like a wet rag to me. just a sopping wet cat left out in the rain#ouat#danny watches ouat#once upon a time#captain swan#emma x hook#emma x killian#hook x charming#david x killian
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mclaren pr team really is doing everything they can to pretend it’s just a silly little orange team with puppies and babies to make people forget about spygate and by god is it working
#they know we have short attention spans and they’re abusing it#they are the enemy#but i can’t even lie their pr is so good#i watch all of them#ferrari please no more c2 challenges just film leo#mclaren#f1#formula 1
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working on something extremely evil and fucked up. i simply cannot give any more details.
#honestly this wasn’t even gonna be that bad originally#well that’s a lie it was still gonna be pretty evil#but my brain keeps coming up with more ideas and i’m like ooh. yes. add that into the Evil Soup#i can’t even yell to anyone about it bc i really want this to not get spoiled😭#but. rest assured yall will like it.#or hate it.#probably hate it#but in a good way. i hope
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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The C’s really carry Supernatural
Castiel, Charlie and Crowley
I’m sorry but they bring the humor, sarcasm and overall drama
#I know Crowley is controversial but he’s literally so funny I can’t even lie#also Charlie is a genuinely good character whose entire personality is amazing#and cas is just cas#castiel novak#castiel#charlie bradbury#crowley spn#spn#supernatural#spnfandom#spn rewatch
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… why are we excessively vilifying one of the characters who are meant to clearly show the concept of humanity being flawed and concept, when it’s clear she’s mentally ill and you guys haven’t done this to literally any other character we’ve met whose been more reliably established as worse… :3
#rhine#sorry. sorry. can I talk about this? I need to#why the FUCK are we doing this#sorry SORRY !!!!!#SHES EVIL I KNOW FHIS.#BUT EHERE ARE THESE IDEAS SPROUTING FROM#SHE WSS.. STRICT?? AND MENTALLY ILL???#guys! albedo is NOT a baby! he’s not gonna be like ‘but my mommy’s good.. 🥺’ if she was THAT fucking horrible#there’s a REASON he had affection for her still#he’s studying humanity he isn’t DENSE#WHY DONT I SEE THIS ATTOTUDE FOR ANYONE ELSE. ONLY HER???#WHAT ABOUT EI. WHAT ABOUT SCARA OR. I DONT KNOW. THE FATUI????????#idk guys! seems silly! and makes me sad#-> SHES EVIL!!!! YES!!!! BUT THATS NOT SLL????#ALL THE SOURCES ESTABLISHING SHES ONLY EVIL ARE. PROPAGANDA AND BIASED#we haven’t even MET her#and all her sources are incredibly mixed#the ONLY main reliable source is bedo#and he clearly establishes. she’s not satan?? hello???#she was cruel. yes. cold. no shit#but she OBVIOUSLY held some affection. and she wasn’t heartless???#she sent him off??? to be with Alice??? who she knew who only showed him with love???#and affection????#these mfs trying TOO hard to antagonize her when she’s more#go onto dottore or some other insane antagonist fi you can’t take nuance. I’m sorry😭#-> okay now that I’m done time to do the monthly promote for nutmegs fic#everyone pleaseeeee read it#Pllleeassdeeeeee read show me and I will lie on ao3#it will change your life. okay.#it’s the best and most canon characterization of Rhine. SORRY !!!!!!!!!
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Okayyy but real talk on jjk 239 and beyond. Just my general ramblings below the cut if you’re interested.
1. Listen, I love Gojo as much as the next person. I wrote a 300k+ word fic about him lmao. But I just do notttt see him coming back whatsoever. I appreciate y’all in delulu and I’m with you on some level! But realistically, I just don’t see it happening. Keep the delulu strong and prove me wrong tho 🩷
2. Does anyone actually think that Higuruma is going to survive? Because I don’t lol. Why would I when we’ve seen Sukuna kill everyone he comes into contact with? And if he dies, it’ll feel like a rehash of Nanami (i.e., killing the older male mentor/fatherly figure to Yuji) and that’s boring because we’ve seen it before.
3. Where the actual fuck is Nobara and why hasn’t her death been confirmed/denied at this point? I’m tired of this off screen bullshit.
4. Whereeeee the fuckkkkkkk is Yuta!??!?!??! I feel like I’m back in the Shibuya arc where every other chapter I was yelling into the void about where tf Yuta was.
5. Lol. As fun as this current Kenjaku v. Takaba fight is, does anyone actually think Takaba is going to be successful? I know Takaba has all this potential but like… does Gege seriously expect the fandom to be satisfied with Takaba killing Kenjaku when fucking Yuki (a special grade) couldn’t? Bffr.
6. I am now Team Sukuna lmao. Let him cook and destroy everything. Who’s gonna stop him when the most powerful sorcerer couldn’t do shit and instead was part a pointless fight that ultimately meant nothing? Like come on. (Secretly praying for yuji to beat his ass tho)
7. If Kenny is doing his shenanigans for the “mad scientist does wild shit just because he can” trope then I’m bored.
8. I’m bored.
Anyway. I’ll continue to rant about this series because it’s like a bad car accident that I can’t look away from. Here’s to hoping Gege returns to form and makes me eat my words ✨✨
I fucking doubt it tho
#jjk ramblings#jjk spoilers#jjk 239#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#geto suguru#ryomen sukuna#higuruma hiromi#yuji itadori#gege akutami#kenjaku#nobara kugisaki#ignore me I’m just ranting lol#I will indeed continue to read this story every week even tho gege is actually driving me insane these days#this is all in good fun#I can’t lie tho#sometimes it feels like i’m rewatching the later seasons of got when i read the latest jjk chapters
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what would happen if you told her you were saving money for a nice trip and could she contribute money towards that?
(she doesn’t have to know it is to go visit your Daddy)
Super appreciate you trying to help✨.
I don’t think that would go well. There’d be immediate questions of where I want to go, and no one would believe I’d want to go on trip by myself, and I don’t have anybody I can use as like a mom friendly cover story. But like I kinda don’t thing it’d get that far bc she’d be quick to be inviting herself. She brings up travel and going on trips a lot. She’s already heard a lot of me saying I haven’t been interested in traveling for a while (which is a little true but mostly I don’t want to go on more trips w her, it never goes well). It has felt to me that if share I want to go somewhere she’d want to plan the trip to come, and bring the whole family if she could. There’d just be a lot of questions and even if I could convince her I just want to do it alone, I feel like that would either get her like pre-worrying I’m going to die so then like all the questions (and prolly her sounding like she’d cry if I went on a trip and didn’t like immediately reply to her) or her making me feel like a shit person for not wanting to go w her (def feel like I’d get put on the spot to have to explain why I’d want to go alone).
I think my leading idea is to ask for some expensive curling iron (or set but I’ll need to specifically pick it out or she’d think anything id consider to be an improvement on what I have to be too pricey for what it is). If it’s an expensive she’ll hit the gift cap amount she has in her mind sooner and I won’t be asked to come up with as much.
#this specific kind of thing has been on my mind a lot bc i sooo want it to be easier on my end to go see my daddy#having a good lie is the only way i can think of that has any potential of going well#there’s like her seeming to feel too uncomfortable or too nosey to give anyone privacy around things#and this like believe that everyone is kinda useless and can’t do anything#which comes to her being overly controlling when she can or excessively worrying when she can’t#and making the worrying my problem to#I mentioned to her that I’m dating some bc I thought it’d be better than her worrying I’m just sitting in my apartment alone and depressed#which she very much thought and would be telling me she’s worried about me#but mentioning dating has been even worse#I think it’d just add to her thinking I’d get myself killed#well this just turned into venting in the tags#ask
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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