#it’s fine if this stays buried

[icycove]

From the brief moment my friends and I had an interesting crossover fandom phase together—

[theaceace]

imagining a world in which Simon agreed to go with Edwin and try to escape hell, imagining Simon developing an immediate and very inadvisable crush on the cute guy that just threw a grenade at a demon and Edwin's reaction to that, imagining the reaction of Charles Overprotective Rowland when he finds out that the guy Edwin insists on dragging along with them is one of the guys that sacrificed him to a demon in the first place, imagining the Night Nurse's face when three dead boys pop back through the door instead of two

[legallydistinctloolooland]

i see your "Angel not knowing Husk is into guys & pining from afar" & raise you "Angel having a feeling/knowing that Husk is into guys & pulling all the stops in Gay Melodrama cause he thinks he isn't Husk's type"

[teal-gerard]

.

[itspileofgoodthings]

my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.

[mylovelookup]

Can’t post art with smut on here. Thought about posting it on AO3. Googled how to. Saw how I’d have to do more steps than the expected copy and paste. Gave up.

[hyrules-warrior]

When Joel and Ellie return to Jackson Tommy finds himself reconnecting with his brother again. A large part of him thought he never would, after so much of Joel died with Sarah. But this potty mouthed QZ kid has brought his brother back to him.

They quickly grow close again, bickering, joking, small pranks. Joel becomes a huge source of reassurance when Tommy panics about if he is able to be a good father, and how to care for a baby.

This day starts out just like any other, but Maria has decided Tommy needs to get out of the house and away from her for awhile. His constant doting is appreciated but it is getting stifling so she recruits Joel into taking Tommy out on a hunt with him and Ellie.

The hunt goes well. Tommy finds himself relaxing, all three of them are joking and having a good time.

Until a stray runner comes flying out of the bushes, attracted to their laughter. 

The fight is quick and nothing serious but Joel took a bit of a tumble with the thing after pushing Tommy out of the way and ends up with a nice cut on his head and of course blood everywhere as head wounds always bleed like crazy.

Unfortunately this new cut is right on his scar from a certain “flinch moment” all those years ago and when Tommy turns to look at his brother after getting up from where he was pushed he sees the blood at that location and...

He looses his mind. Suddenly it’s the day after outbreak day again, the day after he was too slow to stop a man from killing his niece. The day he was too slow again and Joel ends up bleeding from a failed attempt.

Tommy freaks out, tries to apply pressure to the wound, starts begging his brother to stay with him, apologizing for not being fast enough, crying and hyperventilating.

Joel is completely overwhelmed with his brother’s panic, he was so shut down back then that he really doesn’t remember what happened after and if Tommy freaked out like this then.

Joel works to calm and comfort Tommy. Grabs him and hugs him tight. Tries to soothe him with quiet words and hushes. It takes awhile, a long while before Tommy finally calms. Even longer before he can let Joel go. They head back to Jackson hunt abandoned and Joel lets Tommy take him to the clinic. Seeing the wound treated and knowing it’s not anything severe finally settles Tommy down completely. 

Maria is not impressed when they get home though. What the heck happened out there? 

[luvsavos]

i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness

my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me

i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3

[itsalwaysdark]

loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!

[orcelito]

Honestly why am I fucking Like This

[sl33py-g4m3r]

making a record of every dairy thing in my apartment to attempt to chart how fast it's gonna be to get rid of, mainly by eating; but I guess I can put some in the donation box at the park for people~~ the unopened stuff of course~~

goobers x 5 (a candy consisting of milk chocolate balls w peanuts in them. initially bought cause I tried them and they hit really good, then I stopped eating them, lol. and one of them is open)

store brand pasta sides (there are 2 rice too) x 12 (i like to stock up on things cause I don't go to the store that often mainly cause I'm blind legally and can't drive)

boxes of macaroni and cheese x 3

2 bags of doritos and one of store brand loaded potato chips (which I'm surprised don't have bacon or lard in them and are actually vegetarian)

2 of pringles I just bought (sour cream and onion and ranch)

2 of some crunchy puffed pea snacks bought at the dollar tree (calbee brand i think? they're so good and have a lot of fibre for a puffed snack like that!)

3 open containers of ice cream (that I'm sadly not eating cause I learned I don't like it that much so it's hard for me to eat)

2 jars of great value nutella with one being half gone

a mainly used tube thing of Parmesan cheese (which may not be vegetarian based on what and how rennet is used idk)

4 of some spreadable cheese (gourmet w herbs, one of them is open the other 3 are sealed in plastic and not open, bought at a discount store on impulse a while ago)

25 individual packets of swiss miss hot cocoa mix

a big bag of trail mix that has m&ms in it (are those even vegetarian? don't they use shellac for the candy coating or was that other candies instead?)

a partially used jar of alfredo sauce

a partially ate fluffy cheesecake kind of pie

and I think 2 partially used containers of popcorn salt

all the other butter type stuff/margirine/cheese that I have is vegan stuff that was given out at commodities when mom and a neighbour went~~ mom knew that I keep trying to go vegan and gave them to me~~ she even gave me some vegan (i think they're vegan I could be mistaken and they're just vegetarian) sausage patties too~~ and seasoned seitan (that idk where on earth to find anywhere at all; could buy vital wheat gluten and chickpea flour and attempt to make my own again. but whenever I make it I don't like it and can't figure out whether I don't like seitan or just made it wrong~~ made it homemade with just flour once~~ so if you want a good arm work out, try it, lol didn't like that either sadly for the above)

it's cool commodities is giving out vegan stuff sometimes~~ but she hadn't went in a long time~~

I feel this is going to tale a lot longer than I think it will~~ I guess just slowly and consistently use them and not feel bad for doing so? cause hopefully even being a vegetarian would still help fight global warming and stuff~~

and I've been a vegetarian for almost the entirety of this year~~~~ wooooooooo~~!!!!! I say almost cause the year isn't over~~~ and some many months last year too~~~

longest time ever that I've successfully been vegetarian~~~ like over 200 days~~~ cause I use a counter app to track the days and I've switched counters back and forth a few times trying to find a good one~~ Meatless is pretty good~~~ used to use Quit Meat but it wants you to log every animal food you consume and I felt that was too tedious~~~ Meatless just lets you log what meat if any you consume and hit either the plant based, or hit the egg/dairy buttons when you want to log a day as vegan or vegetarian. and it lets you choose what country you're in to give you relevant stats to your country~~

plopping another question here at the end cause I'm unsure if it's actually animal or not~~ I have some fleece blankets; and I thought fleece was the name for wool or some other animal derived fabric~~~ unless fleece means something that's non animal too.... they're light fluffy and warm blankets~~ so.... is it animal fleece or more than likely something else and still fine to use?

asked reddit a while ago when I went on r/vegan (cause r/vegetarian was barred by a filter or restriction and wouldn't let me post at all~~ why is reddit so locked down in this manner? it sucks~~ I don't like reddit~~

I've come so far over the course of a little more than half a year~~~ I no longer see meat as a valid food choice~~~~ or gelatine~~~~

a lot longer than I was when I first tried back in 2013 when I went vegan on a whim~~ lasted a couple of months, didn't know what I was doing, and went back to eating meat. repeat process endlessly until this time hopefully~~~

proud of myself for making it this far this time~~ and not going back to eating meat~~ cause when I did that, I'd feel like a hypocrite and deem myself a failure. But I'm not a failure cause I kept trying~~ I keep trying~~

so much so that the vitamins I take for in general vitamin, and the vitamin D the doctor wanted me on are vegan~~~

I still feel like a baby vegan even after all the time I've tried and failed in the past ~~ T_T;;

[lemoonz]

Aulë and his dwarves.

[magnusbae]

Consider me evil but I frankly hope the show is canceled before it reaches the final plot :)

[dragon-subway]

got milo boy brushed a bit today with less issue than normal, not even an attempt at nipping but he certainly wasnt happy about it. Still needs to be done, and i'm being gentle as i can be while we wait for the soft brush to get here

[the-rat-house]

Ya girl is Going Through It™️

[inkskinned]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.