#tommy and joel

[mdawgswizzleinthehizzle]

the miller brothers.

IG: artby.kiera

[j-eryewrites]

Kin

Part Six of A Sinner's Redemption

SERIES MASTER LIST| MAIN MASTER LIST

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Word Count: 16.8k

Author's Note: (EDIT) Dang, it's been forever since I've had the chance to write in general. I want to say thank you for all your patience with me. My health has been horrible, and school and work have been crazy, leaving me little time to do the things I enjoy. I really hope you enjoy this chapter!

Anyway, I'll stop talking and let you read on.

Warnings: Language, mentions of death, angst and all the feels (I MEAN A LOT OF ANGST), blood, violence, and gore (let me know if I missed anything)

꧁_____________꧂ 

Three Months Later...

One thing Ellie hated the most was when she was under-estimated. She was sure Piper felt the same way when Joel became all high and mighty,, wanting to face the "bad guys" by himself rather than having the two of them help out. Ellie knew she could hold her own. For Piper, there was no doubt, but after what happened in Kansas City, it seemed like Joel had changed. Now, whether it was for good or bad, Ellie was unsure, but right now, it was leaning more towards bad.

The woman was completely harmless. In fact, Ellie had been puzzled as to how this woman had survived this long. Even so, Joel pushed the girls behind him; gun raised as he told the woman what was going to happen. Afterwards, forced the girls upstairs to hide while they waited for the woman's husband to come home. Ellie grumbled at that. If the husband was anything like the woman, Florence as she introduced herself, then Ellie could take both of them down in under a minute.

Ellie groaned as her head banged against the bedpost. "How long is this gonna take?" she muttered under her breath. Her eyes peered over at her sister, wondering if she had heard Ellie's words. Instead, Piper seemed to be in her own world. She was leaning up against the wall. Her gun was in her lap and her hands grasped the sides of her forehead. Ellie's eyes squinted, unsure if her sister was in deep thought or pain.

"How long is this gonna take?" Ellie repeated, her head dropping to the side to emphasize her distaste for the situation.

Piper winced as she opened her eyes. "I heard you for the first time, El."

"Yeah, but you didn't respond., so I had to make sure you were still alive," Ellie smirked.

Piper rolled her eyes. "Jesus, you're giving me a headache."

Ellie opened her mouth to respond, but Joel's thunderous voice from downstairs cut her off: "Thought I told you two to be quiet."

"Yeah, Ellie. Be quiet," Piper smirked.

"You motherfu-" Ellie spat back.

"Hey!" Joel reprimanded. Florence began giggling to herself in the armchair she sat in. At the sound of her laughter, the girls grew quiet.

Suddenly, Florence's laughter died down. "He's home."

Ellie sat up straighter and nudged Piper with her foot. The two girls listened as Joel crept into the back room for the element of surprise. It wasn't long after that the door swung open. Heavy footsteps clanked against the cabin floor.

It was hard to see from the balcony. Ellie silently cursed, wanting to see what was going on below. Her curiosity peaked when she heard Joel speak, cocking his gun.

"-And the gun," Joel instructed.

"Who the hell are you?" The man defensively said. Ellie silently fussed at the inability to see without giving away her position. Piper couldn't care less about what happened downstairs as long as Joel didn't bite the dust.

"Just someone passin' through," Joel said. "Take the gun out, two fingers only, put it outta reach."

The man did as Joel instructed with a calm expression. He looked at his wife. "Why didn't you shoot him?"

Florence shrugged and motioned to where the gun sat in the corner of the room. "The gun's all the way over there. He didn't hurt me, by the way."

"Yeah, I got eyes," he replied. He caught sight of the table where three empty bowls lay. "You made him soup?"

"Yeah, I did. It's cold out," Florence replied.

Joel glanced between the two. They were conversing as if he wasn't there holding a gun to the two of them. "I'm lookin' for my brother," Joel interjected.

He looked Joel up and down and scoffed. "Well, I ain't seen him," he responded.

"I haven't told you what he looks like," Joel noted.

"He look anything like you?"

Joel shrugged, "A bit."

The man took off his coat and hung it up on the coat hanger. "Then I ain't seen him," he responds.

Florence smiled as she chimed in. "He's got two girls with him….” She said it like it was the biggest gossip she heard in twenty years.

"Can we come down?" Ellie asked, knowing Joel couldn't berate her for speaking up when Florence had exposed their presence. Besides, she had grown too stir crazy to keep sitting up there. Without hearing Joel's response, she jumped to the stairs and made her way down. Piper was slow to follow.

"No," Joel groaned into his hand. "Ellie! Piper!"

"Ooh-wa," Florence's husband chuckled. Florence began to giggle as well.

The girls stared at the man. He was old, just like his wife, but they weren't scrawny like most people. They were well fed, their skin a dark copper and dark hair to compliment it as well. If the world wasn't what it was, the girls might even consider the two to be normal. They might have been before the outbreak, but now they just seemed crazy with their nonchalant expressions.

"What did I just say?" Joel scolded the girls.

"Hey, I just came down 'cause she did," Piper explained.

Ellie sighed. "Joel, come on. They're, like, a thousand."

"Who are these little psychos?" The man asked.

Piper shot him a look. "I'm not little."

"But you are psycho," Ellie quipped. Piper elbowed her for the comment.

Joel rolled his eyes. "Never mind them," Joel told him.

"Who’s the bigger psycho?" The man asked with a grin on his face.

Piper and Ellie were rearing to get the first say when Joel announced loudly over them, "I need you to tell us where we are." He placed a wrinkled map on the table and pointed to it.

"If you got a map, why you lost?"

Ellie's face scrunched. " Must've missed all the street signs in the enormous fսcking forest," she hissed.

"Ho-ly," the man laughed.

Joel continued on. "We're somewhere here. Exactly where? And your answer better be the same as your wife's."

The man halted his laughter and looked at his wife. "Did you tell him the truth?"

She calmly rocked back and forth in her chair. "Yeah."

"Are you tellin' me the truth?"

Florence nodded, "Yeah." Her husband sighed and pointed to the location on the map.

Joel's jaw tensed. "Well, you found a great place to hide, I guess."

"Hide?" the man chuckled. " I came here before you were born, Sonny. Get the hell away from everybody."

"I didn't want to," Florence noted. Piper stifled a snort. The couple strangely amused her.

"Eh. Listen, I didn't mean to upset you about your brother," the man comforted, "but if you've come this far, then you know what's out there. You seen Cody?"

"Yeah, got close enough." Ellie shivered. "It's crawling with Infected."

The man nodded in confirmation. "Yeah, Laramie and Wind River Reservation. Anywhere people used to be, you can't go there no more."

"So you haven't heard the name Tommy?" Joel asked the man.

"Nope."

"What about the Fireflies?" Ellie piped up.

Florence smiled fondly, "We get those in the summer."

Piper sighed, "Not the bugs, the people."

"There are firefly people?" Florence asked. Then, she and her husband began to laugh again.

Joel was getting fed up with their laid-back attitude. "You got any advice on the best way west?"

"Yeah," the man said. "Go east. But you never go past the river here. Ever."

"What's past the river?" Piper questioned.

Florence glanced over at Piper; her face grew cold. "Death. We never see who's out there, but we see the bodies they leave behind. Some Infected, some not." Piper looked away. Something about the woman's stare sent chills down her spine. Florence turned to Joel. "If your brother's west of the river, he's gone."

Ellie scoffed as she crossed her arms across her chest. "You're not going to scare us," she says.

"Scared them," Florence corrected, motioning to Joel and Piper. Her husband laughed.

"Thanks for the soup," Piper muttered, hoping to change the newfound tension in the air. "It was delicious."

The rocking from the chair stopped as Florence replied, "No problem."

Without paying much more attention to Florence and her husband, Joel turned to the girls. His gun lowered. "Let’s go," Joel uttered.

Piper and Ellie shuffled around the cabin to follow Joel out the door. The cool winter air burned their cheeks as blood rushed to the surface to try and regulate their internal temperature. It was no use, but they were used to it by now. The relentless cold always nipped at their ears, cheeks, fingers, and toes. Even so, the girls shivered, their bodies craving the warmth from inside the cabin.

Ellie pulled her hat down hoping to drown her ears in the thick cotton. "You don't seriously believe them," Ellie joked, noticing Piper and Joel's abrupt silence once the cabin door closed.

Joel's feet trekked through the snow away from the cabin, not daring to look back. He wouldn't dare let himself miss the hospitality, the warmth, and the humanity of Florence's home. He didn't want to think about how comforting the sight of Piper and Ellie felt in a proper home with food. How he wished it could have been their home. No, Joel wouldn't think of that. He shouldn't. "They've lived here a long time," Joel responded, looking back at Ellie, whose hands were now full of rabbits. She had a gleeful smile on her face. "Put that back," Joel hissed.

"They'll be fine. Right, Piper?" Ellie nudged her sister, who still remained silent.

Ellie's weak forceful nudge nearly knocked Piper off her feet and into the cold, wet snow. The only response Ellie got was a warning glare from her sister.

"Sheesh,' Ellie shuddered as she placed back the rabbits. She began to mumble to herself. "They don't know anything. Never heard of the Fireflies. Bet they never knew about the outbreak when it first happened…"

"Ellie," Piper suddenly exclaimed, drawing her sister out of her disbelief.

It was strange. Joel had stopped walking. His hand tightly gripped the fence. His leather gloves creaked from the strain. Ellie quickly observed his rigid shoulders as they strained to go up and down.

"Joel?!" Piper's lips trembled. Her hands floated above Joel's back, and she was unsure if it was okay to touch him. The reflection of the snow illuminated the worry in her eyes.

Ellie darted beside Joel. His breathing was only getting harsher. "Joel? Joel? Joel, are you okay? Joel?!"

Piper shared a fearfully concerned glance with her sister. "Joel?! Come on, Joel, this isn't funny-"

"Shut up." The sound of Joel's voice silenced the girls. Joel clutched his chest right above his beating heart.

Ellie didn't miss the gesture of pain. "Holy shit, are you dying?"

"No, he's not. He's -Joel, you better fucking not die," Piper demanded. Panic was evident in her voice.

Joel withdrew his hand from his chest and waved it in the air in an attempt to soothe the girls' anxiety. "I'm okay," he said.

"Okay, are you okay?" Ellie asked.

"I'm fine," Joel hissed, not wanting the worry the girls had.

His tone only seemed to spur Ellie's increasing uneasiness. She stepped closer to Joel, who winced, feeling her shaking breath in his face. "No, no, but are you? Because just a reminder that if you're dead, we’re fսckеd."

"Ellie, give him some space!" Piper tried to yank Ellie back, but it was to no avail.

"No, the fucker’s dying on us."

Piper opened her mouth to respond when Joel's thick voice cut her off. "I said I'm fine."

The commanding tone repressed their paranoia but did little to subdue their concern. "Okay," they muttered in response.

"It's just the… cold air all of a sudden," Joel tried to reassure them.

Piper nodded, seeing right through Joel. It was something she had begun to pick up on all her time around the man. His little habits and tells. That's what happens when people go through hell and back together; some unspeakable bond grows. She hated to admit she had gotten accustomed to Joel's presence. She hated how she'd gotten lazy and dependent, a little less like a survivor and more like a, well, someone who was allowed to live. Almost. Piper wouldn't let herself get comfortable. She wouldn't grow attached. She wouldn't let Joel in, at least, not more so than he already had.

"All right, uh… so let's go and find Tommy and the Fireflies," Ellie said before marching through the snow.

"It's gonna be easy. All we have to do is cross the River of Death," Ellie sarcastically said as she got close to Piper's face. Piper rolled her eyes and shoved her sister. It made Ellie snicker.

Piper watched Joel continue to cling to the fence pole. She despised how her heart constricted at his hidden pain. What was worse was how her mind wildly pursued the question of the absence of Joel. It was an answer she never wanted to find. Maybe it was too late for Piper. Maybe Joel meant a bit more to her than she'd like. Reluctantly, Piper left Joel, her pace fast as she caught up with Ellie.

Joel watched both of them stomp through the snow. The shiny leather of Ellie's boots glistened under the winter sun, unlike Piper's worn and wilting boots, which repelled the sunlight. He glanced down at his own boots. It was a repulsing sight. The darkened soles were peeling along the edges, and the leather was frayed. They wouldn't last long. Joel just hoped they'd keep out the snow and ice for a little while longer.

꧁_꧂

Evening light trickled into the water. The water reflected the light as if it were made of diamonds. Accompanying the burst of opalescent colors was the thunderous sound water rushing past. The noise was deafening to Piper's ears. If it weren't for how close she huddled next to Ellie she wouldn't have heard the satirical comment she had made.

"The River of Death. Scary." Ellie turned away with a smile on her face. Piper and Joel peered over their shoulders at her, bearing the same annoyed expression. Ellie wasn't going to give up the bit. She was having too much fun.

"Don't start," Joel sighed.

Ellie giggled. The sound was infectious as it eased Piper's face into a soft smile.

"It's too close to dark," Joel noted. "There's some caves along the river. We'll set up camp there, cross in the morning'."

"Good. I'm starving," Piper added. Her stomach rumbled.

"Should've stolen two rabbits," Ellie mumbled.

"We can get our own rabbits," Joel said. His hands grazed his hips as they trekked further along.

Ellie practically jumped in front of him. "You gonna teach me how?" She beamed up at Joel.

Piper awaited Joel's response, even more so than Ellie. She had never learned how to hunt. There was never really the need back in the QZ. Even if it wasn't plentiful, food was always provided to her and Ellie. She knew the basics behind it: take a gun or trap, shoot, skin or prep, and eat. However, there was something foreign about hunting animals. All she'd ever shot were Infected people. Piper was a killer. She wondered if she could ever be a hunter or if she was forever cursed to kill.

"Just keep movin'," was all Joel said. Ellie sighed in disappointment.

Finding a suitable cave for the night hadn't taken them long. It was large enough to provide them shelter but not deep enough to house anything deadly. Joel had gotten busy building a fire. He had sent the girls off to get firewood a while ago, which they had done, but they had been absent since then.

The fire crackled, its flames dancing around as the smoke rose into the night sky like a prayer for all to see. They were so far out from any civilization that Joel wasn't too worried about the smoke. Even so, he kept his gun beside him, his hand on the barrel.

Joel watched the fire. His eyes froze over as they became entranced with the flames. His eyes dared to follow the smoke as it merged with the night sky above. That's when he spotted his girl's tattered coats. Joel frowned. The girls, he corrected himself. They weren't his. They were cargo, and that's all they would ever be. It was a delusion he hoped would become a reality so long as he kept saying it. The girls. His eyes focused on them as they gazed up at the night sky. He could see the awe in their eyes. They seemed at ease as the stars twinkled above them.

How long has it been since Joel looked up? He could recall a time when he'd watch the stars with Sarah. He refused to spare them a glance, knowing she was in the heavens alongside the stars. Yet, he found himself looking up. If his girls were watching, he wanted to watch them together.

His girls. The girls. The girls. THE GIRLS.

A clear whistle escaped Joel's cracked lips. His fingers fell as Piper and Ellie peered at him from the boulder. "Come down from there. You're gonna break your neck," Joel instructed.

He watched as the girls grunted slowly, descending the rock. Their feet hit the ground, and slowly, they crept to a seat by the fire. They welcomed the heat as it warmed them to their bones and fought back the deadly chill of the night. Piper sniffled and shivered, inching her body closer to the fire.

Meanwhile, Joel leaned back against a log. His body ached from all the use and travel. He was getting too old for him. Just like his tattered boots, he felt like he was falling apart. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out some duct tape and taped his boots. With his teeth, he cut the tape and put the finishing touches on his makeshift repair. Immediately after, he replaced the tape for his flask, taking a swig.

"Ahh…," Ellie muttered,, noticing the flask. "Can I have some?"

"No," Joel and Piper said.

Ellie began to wonder if they were the same person. "What? Just to warm up. C'mon," she begged, flashing her puppy eyes. Joel sighed, caving to Ellie's demands. She eagerly snatched the flask from Joel and took a sip. Her face scrunched up with disgust as she fought not to spit out the liquid. "Yep… still gross," she coughed. Her arm reached forward to hand it back to Joel when Piper intercepted.

"Give me," Piper said. Joel gave her a look, and Piper rolled her eyes. "What? If Ellie got a sip, why can’t I?" Again, Joel caved, and Piper took the flask. She unscrewed the lid and gulped down a sip with an expression of familiarity. It was an expression that drew fascination from her sister and concern from Joel. Piper tossed the flask back to Joel, the weight of which felt heavy in his hands.

"So, I've been thinking," Ellie began. "Let's say we find the Fireflies; it all works. They draw my blood and put it through some of their fancy machines to make a cure."

"Okay?" Joel said.

"Then what?" Ellie pondered. Joel flashed her a look of confusion. "Like, what do we do?"

His heart clenched and a thought of elation filled his mind. His girls. Internally, he shook his head. The girls, he corrected his thoughts. "Oh, it's we?"

Ellie covered the frown threatening to appear on her face. "Okay, fine. Whatever. You. You can do anything you want. Where are you going? What are you doing?"

Joel shrugged as he fiddled with the flask. "It's never been an option." Clearing his throat, he continued, "Maybe… an old farmhouse, some land… a ranch."

"Cool. What kind?" Ellie asked.

Joel's brows furrowed in thought before he responded, "Sheep. I would raise sheep. Sheep. They're quiet… do what they're told."

Ellie and Piper snickered, taking the hint. "Yeah, yeah. Okay," Ellie repeated, "So, just you and a buncha sheep. Romantic."

Joel sat up, placing the flask away. "And what about you two? Where are you gonna go?"

"Don’t know," Piper replied. She had always gone where Ellie went. They were always together; as long as Piper had Ellie, she'd be fine. As long it was the three-two of them. Using her elbow, she nudged her sister. "Ellie?"

Ellie gazed up at the sky as she answered. "It's probably because I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there's the ocean, and ahead of you, there's a wall. Nowhere else to look but up." Joel couldn't help but follow her gaze. The stars waltzed between the dark blues and blacks of the night sky. "I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?"

"Sally Ride," Joel and Piper say instinctively.

Ellie beamed at their answer. "Sally fսckin' Ride! Best astronaut name ever." The fire cracked loudly, leaving a deafening silence of if: If the cure worked. If life could ever return to normal. Ellie wasn't even really sure what normal was supposed to be. The closest she'd ever gotten to it was watching Florence and her husband. "It'll work, right?" Her voice was quiet and unsure as she spoke. "The vaccine?"

"It's a little late to start wonderin'," Joel stated.

"I tried," Ellie blurted. "…with Sam and…" Her gaze traveled over to her sister's arm where she had been bitten. It hadn't worked with Sam, but she had saved Piper. Ellie was sure of it. Her blood was the cure. She gave up every single drop if it meant that she could save what was left of her world. This cruel world, the Infected, the fungus, had taken everything from her: Her mom, Riley, Tess, Sam, and Henry. She refused to let that list have the names "Piper" and "Joel" written on it.

"Tried what?" Joel wondered.

"I knew he was infected,” Ellie admitted. "I rubbed some of my blood into his bite." Ellie could feel the stares Joel and Piper were giving her. She didn't dare look at them. "I know, I know, it was stupid. But I… I wanted to save him." She couldn't save Sam, but she would save everyone else.

"Well, I reckon it's a lot more complicated than that," Joel admitted. "Marlene, she's a lotta things, but… she's no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it."

Ellie absently nodded at Joel's words. She was gonna save the world. Then she'd never have to lose anyone again. She wouldn't be alone.

On the other hand, Piper's mind began contemplating what Joel had said. The word "complicated" echoed in her head. She couldn't help but wonder what Marlene really had in store for her and Ellie. "You wanna take first watch or second?" Piper sighed, knowing her paranoid thoughts about what the cure entailed would get her nowhere.

"I'll do both," Joel told them, sitting up straighter and bringing his gun into his lap.

"Joel…," Piper pleaded with the memory of Joel clutching onto the fence like a lifeline still in his mind.

He brushed her off as he stood up. "Get some sleep. Dream of…," Joel smiled as he looked down at his girls. He'd let his delusions go for one night. "…sheep ranches on the moon."

"I will," Ellie smiled back up at him. Piper sat silent.

"That includes you, Piper. Get to bed," Joel said.

Piper sighed and looked deep into the firelight. "I’m not tired just yet."

Reluctantly, Joel turned away from the fire and his girls stepped into the cold winter night doing his round of patrol, leaving the girls to doze off by the fire side with each crunch of the snow beneath his feet. By the time he returned, Ellie was quietly snoring into her shoulder. Her small body cuddled close to Piper, whose arm was wrapped around her sister.

Joel resumed his seat by the fire. His joints flared as the heat of the fire slowly sank back into them. "Thought I told you to get to bed."

"Thought I told you I wasn't tired," Piper spat back.

Joel's eyes widened. "Look, Kid. You need the sleep more than I do."

Piper sniffled and wiped her nose drawing her legs closer to her body. "You sure about that?"

Joel looked away, finding his tongue trapped in his throat. Instead he found words for something else. "What's your dream?" Piper flashed Joel a confused look. "You never answered what you would do if it all worked out."

Piper bit her lip, her eyes fell down on Ellie's sleeping figure. "All I've ever…Have you ever thought you were cursed?" Joel shook his head. "I think I'm cursed. Actually, I know I am," Piper scoffed.

"Cursed?" Joel questioned.

"To kill." Piper pulled her arm away from Ellie and stared at her shaking hands. In the light of the fire, they only grew more red, A dark red that seemed to seep underneath her skin. She shuddered. "It's all I was used to in the QZ. It's all I've known." She couldn't bear to look at her hands any longer, instead resorted to shoving them under her legs. "I'm cursed to kill when all I want is to save…but I can't." her voice caught in her throat. "I can only save Ellie. She's all that matters. So, as long as I can do that, I'll be fine."

"Kid," Joel paused. "Piper." The sound of her name drew her attention. "You are more than a sister. You can want something for yourself that is outside of Ellie."

Piper scoffed. "Says you. You've been on and on about Tommy. What about you then? What is your dream outside of Tommy?"

"I-" Joel began to refute Piper's words, but something stopped him. She was right. He'd started this whole thing for Tommy: picked up the girls, lost Tess, danced with death, saw the impossible, and all for someone who could be dead. Piper and him were one in the same. As long as their family was safe and happy, so would they be. But as Joel really pondered her question, the dream of the farm came back into mind. The farm with the quiet sheep, the peaceful life. Except now, this dream had room for more, yet Joel wasn't sure if there was room for his girls in the first place.

"It's getting late," Joel remarked,,, standing up again to watch. This time, Piper didn't refuse sleep. Instead, she let the silence close in on her as the warmth of the fire cascaded over her body. The only sign of life was the slow rise and fall of her chest, the rhythm to which Joel stepped as he guarded his girls from the looming horrors of the night.

꧁_꧂

"Should we wake him up?" Ellie asked, craning her neck up to look at the boulder's ledge. The morning sun shone brightly in her eyes, painting Piper's figure as a shadow.

Piper was standing tall on the boulder with her gun in hand. Her dark eyes surveyed the area before glancing down at Ellie and shaking her head. "Nah, he'll wake up on his own. Besides, the man needs his beauty sleep." She quietly chuckled to herself.

Ellie shrugged and peered down at Joel, who was sleeping on the ground close to her. She watched as his brows furrowed and his forehead creased. She stepped closer to Joel, now hearing the incoherent mumblings that spilled from his mouth.

The sound of the earth crunching beneath Ellie's feet stirred Joel awake. He sat up with a hiss of air as his hands fumbled for his rifle.

"Still mumbling in your sleep," Ellie said. Joel looked up at her and noticed his gun in her hands. "I woke up early. You were passed out, so I took second watch."

Joel frowned.

"I helped!" Piper announced from atop the boulder. Her eyes winced from the sound of her own voice, intensifying the pounding in her head.

His eyes followed the sound of Piper's voice. The harsh sunlight invaded his senses as he tried to look up at her. "You gotta wake me up if that happens. And get down from there!" He scolded the girls.

"Piper told me not to," Ellie defended.

With a huff, Piper hopped down from the rock. "You need sleep too, Joel."

Joel rolled his eyes and snatched his gun away from Ellie. "You girls can't do things like this," he told them.

"But I can…," Ellie noted. "…'cause I just did."

It was much too early in the morning for Joel to be dealing with this already. A heavy sigh escaped his chest. "I'm responsible for you too, okay?" He looked between the girls.

Ellie shrugged. "Then don't fall asleep." Joel opened his mouth to refute her words again. However, Ellie did what she did best and continued to talk. "I was quiet. I checked my six. I looked for tracks. I found the high ground, and I kept watch. Like you taught me to," Ellie explained.

Joel bore a skeptical look on his face. "She did," Piper disclosed. "I checked."

"What can I say, man? I'm a natural." Ellie flashed Joel a smug smile. Piper gave a smile of her own.

The longer he looked at them, the harder it was to reprimand them. "Uh-huh. You wake me up next time," Joel instructed.

"Yes, sir. attention!" Ellie joked,, raising her hand to her head. Piper followed suit, stifling her snickers, and Joel couldn't help the smile that leaked onto his face.

"Alright, grab your stuff, and let's go." Joel motioned to their packs on the ground. The girls silently groaned as they shuffled to retrieve their things, knowing only more walking was ahead of them.

꧁_꧂

It was supposed to be pitch black in Ellie's and Piper's shared room. After all, it had been hours since the “lights out” signal, but even so, there was a faint glow seeping out from the walls-glow in the dark stars. It had been a gift from Levi. He had told Piper that he'd found them one day and thought she might like them. With a grin on her face, she took them to Ellie, and together, they put them on the walls and ceiling of their room.

Magic was how Ellie described it, and Piper couldn't think of a better word as the two would gaze upon their own personal stars. Some nights, Piper would even make a wish right as her eyes, filled with too much sleep, couldn't bear to look at them any longer. She'd wish for things like a real family and a home. Somewhere out of the QZ. Somewhere free, maybe some animals too. She'd always loved animals, but their presence was almost non-existent.

However, tonight, as Piper trickled into the room after hours, she didn't want to wish on the stars. She didn't want to even look towards their light. All she wanted to do was tear them down. Her feet slowly dragged on the hardwood floors over to the nearest star. Raising her hand, she yanked it down. It felt so good hearing the snap of the adhesive as the force pulled them to the ground, darkening their light. She pulled another and another with no care for the red marks she left on the wall. She kept pulling and pulling until she heard Ellie's bed creak.

"Pipe?" Ellie croaked. Her voice crackled from the cold. Piper winced. A blanket. She was supposed to grab another blanket for Ellie. Their room was freezing, and the cold, she knew, could be deadly at night.

"Yeah?" Piper replied.

"Why are you taking down our stars?"

Piper grew so quiet that Ellie wasn't even sure she heard her sister breathing. "It's late, Els. Why are you up?"

Ellie shuffled in the bed. Piper could hear the sheets shake with her shivers. "I was scared. You have left."

"I'm here now. Just go back to bed."

Ellie sat up and reached for a book underneath her pillow. She held it out to Piper, who knew exactly what book it was. "Can you read to me?" Ellie pleaded.

Piper sighed and nodded. She stepped forward to grab the book when the red on her hands became apparent. Even in the dark, the red seemed to be even darker. She could see it all covering her entire body. Slowly, she recoiled from Ellie and changed; Using her soiled clothes to wipe away as much as possible from her face and hands. Eventually, she returned to Ellie, freshly changed. She took the book in her hand and, with the other, tugged her own blanket off her bed and climbed into Ellie's. Piper took extra care to lay the second blanket on top before opening the book.

She had read it so often that there was hardly a need for a light to see the words. As she began to recite the myths and tales of the stars, Piper began to like the dark, to find comfort in the night. The more she whispered to Ellie the tragedies of the gods that put them in the sky, the more she began to be repulsed by the starlight. It made her sick to her stomach, but Ellie loved them. Ellie loved the sky, the stars, and what lay beyond. So, Piper told herself she would like them too. But for tonight, all she wanted to do was loathe them, and only for tonight she would. Why would she want to look for the light when she found comfort in being lost in the darkness?

꧁_꧂

The pounding in Piper's head was getting worse the more Ellie fiddled with her mouth and fingers. Ellie was trying to whistle, but it came out as whimpering shrieks that only added to Piper's pain. Piper sent her sister a glare, not trusting herself enough to be civil with words.

"What?" Ellie responded. "I'm learning how to whistle."

Joel peeked over his shoulder at Ellie. "You don't know how to whistle?"

Ellie huffed and let her hands fall at her side. "Does it sound like I know how to whistle?"

"No," Joel replied, shaking his head.

After a few more failed attempts, Ellie sighed. "Seriously, though, how the fսck do you do that?"

"Talent," Joel shrugged.

Rolling her eyes, Ellie replied, "Whatever. You should teach me how to hunt."

"Huh," was all Joel could say in response.

"Huh," Ellie repeated in a deep voice, mocking Joel. "Like, she's a girl. She can't handle it."

Joel stopped in his tracks and turned around. "You can handle the shootin'. Not so sure about the dressin'," he sighed.

Ellie's brows furrowed. "What's the dressin'?"

"Isn't that the part where you take the guts out," Piper added.

"Oh, yeah," Ellie's eyes widened. "Why do they call it dressing? It's like, you should call it undressing 'cause it is. It's like… undressing from the inside. Still interested, though."

Soon, it became too loud for any of them to hear what Ellie had been saying. Tons and tons of water rushed out of a dam and crashed on the rocks below. The water flashed shades of green and yellow as the sun darted from behind the clouds. The three of them all stopped to wonder in the presence of the water. The sound was deafening, and any thoughts they had in their heads were drowned out.

"Dam," Ellie enunciated. She placed her hand on her hips and flashed a smug grin to Joel and Piper.

"You're no Will Livingston," Piper chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, but who is?" Ellie playfully shrugged before turning to Joel. "So that made electricity?" She asked him.

"Yeah," Joel nodded. He caught sight of another question brewing in her eyes. "Don't ask me. I don't have a clue."

"You know, you could've just made something up," Ellie noted. "I would've believed you," she said as they turned away from the dam.

Piper chuckled. "True," she pointed out. "Like that time I told you how the baby got into the lady's stomach."

Ellie gasped. "That was a lie?"

"And you still believed it?" Piper snickered, "Thought they covered that in the QZ at some point." She playfully shoved Ellie's shoulder, almost knocking her into the snow.

"Hey!" Ellie yelled, regaining balance to return the favor to Piper. Piper gasped as she hit the freezing cold snow.

Piper hastily stood up, brushing off the pale snow from her clothes and grumbling to herself about the cold and hygiene.

"Pshh," Ellie chuckled, sending her sister a teasing look. Following her sister's rising frame, Ellie caught sight of the vast blue water. Her eyes bulged as she stumbled forward for a better look. "Look at that river. It's crazy blue!" She pointed as Joel and Piper huddled around her.

Piper glanced around. Nervousness escaped her eyes and seeped into her voice. "Hey, Joel… what if this is the River of Death?"

Joel hurriedly yanked out the map and flipped it around. His feet turned in circles as his mind desperately confirmed his fears.

A sharp chorus of neighs and pounding footsteps appeared over the hill. Riders, horses, and dogs charged towards them one by one.

"Joel!" Piper cried out, stepping back towards the water and away from the approaching mass.

"Get behind me," Joel instructed the girls. Ellie and Piper wasted no time hiding behind Joel's large figure. When the horses arrived, the girl's knuckles had turned white. "We ain't lookin' for any trouble. We're just passin' through," Joel announced to the riders.

The rider in front motioned with his gun. "Drop the gun," he told Joel, who quickly complied. Then the man pointed to Piper and Ellie. "You two… take five steps back."

Piper gulped as she fought to hold back the growing fear. Ellie wasn't doing much better, her fear echoing in her shaking eyes.

"How 'bout we just talk this through?" Joel asked, raising his hands.

"How 'bout you shut the fսck up?" One of the other riders bellowed.

"Okay, easy," Joel said before looking back at the girls. The brief glances he gave them eased some of the building anxiety. Something about Joel's dark eyes helped Piper feel safe. Whether she liked it or not, Piper trusted Joel. "You'll be okay," Joel comforted.

As the girls stepped back, the rider in front asked, "You been near Infected?"

"There's no Infected out here," Joel responded.

"The hell there ain't," Another one grumbled.

Suddenly, the front man hopped down from his horse and whistled. It was loud and clear before everything went silent. Instantly, the sounds of a vicious barking ripped through the air.

"Last chance for a bullet," the man warned. "If you've been infected, he will smell it, and he will rip you up."

At that moment, as the deadly sharp teeth of the dog shimmered in the sun, Ellie wished she was holding Piper's hand. She was scared. She had been bit, and so had Piper. They were immune, but if the dog smelt anything, they'd be dead. She’d be dead before she could save anyone. She'd-

"Like I said… we'll just move on," Joel stated as the dog approached him. The animal sniffed before placing its paws gently on his torso. Joel was clean.

"Now her," the man said, pointing to Ellie. Joel's ears felt on fire as he listened to each sniffle and huff of the dog. His heart clenched and he soon found it hard to breathe. Just as fast as he was cleared, so was Ellie. The sound of her giggles as the dog playfully licked her face, eased some of the tension in Joel's body. However, they weren't clear yet.

"Last one," the rider said, pulling the dog away from Ellie.

Joel dared, looking behind at Piper. Her face showed no uncertainty as the dog approached growling. Despite her fearless appearance, Joel saw the terror in her eyes. It was the same look she had that night in the motel. The same look she bore when she asked him to kill her and make that horrifying promise to her. Now, he wished he hadn't looked, but even so, Joel couldn't look away. Not until both of his girls were alright.

The dog had begun its search. Piper's hands were wet and warm as her nails cut through the feeble gloves and into her skin. Her eyes clenched shut from the pain. Each sniffle was a reminder that her own breath could be her last. Ellie was cleared, and so should Piper. No matter how much she kept telling herself that, Piper knew she was different. The way those Infected ignored her as if she was one of them. Piper prepared for the worst but prayed for the best. Prayed that maybe Joel could save her if the dog went for her throat. Maybe they could hold off this huge group. Maybe-

A comforting weight was placed on her chest, and her cheeks burned from the dog's wet kisses. Light flooded her view, and Piper looked down and smiled. She was safe.

The man whistled, and the dog propelled itself off Piper. "You just bought yourself 10 more seconds. What are you doin' out here?" The man interrogated.

Joel stepped back near the girls and answered. "I'm just lookin' for my brother. That's all, nothing' more."

A voice from the back shot over the crowd. Pulling her horse forward, a woman approached Joel and the girls. "What's your name?"

"Joel," he replied.

The woman's eyes widened. She began telling some of the riders to grab horses for the three of them.

"You're gonna wanna come with us," she said. "I'm Maria, by the way."

The three of them shared confused looks as they were placed on horses. Piper sat behind Ellie on a large tan stead. The horse neighed as Ellie curiously reached forward to pet its mane. Joel was placed on a dark brown horse. Once they were settled, the group moved forward and the horses trotted along carrying them away to wherever Marlene was taking them.

꧁_꧂

Maria spoke little of their destination, but even with the little she said, she convinced Joel. If Joel was convinced, so were the girls. It wasn't until they saw the looming metallic and wooden walls that they knew they were entering a settlement. The sight of the walls did little to put Piper at ease. She knew once she entered their confines that it'd be hard to leave. She just hoped Joel knew how to get them out if needed.

The gates to the community opened with a screech, and the horses carried them deeper into the town. With each prance, the more uneasy Ellie and Piper felt. People walked along the roadside chatting and laughing. Kids played in a playground, teasing each other before finding a snowball headed towards their faces. Groups all around worked together, all with determined smiles on their faces. Everything was normal until the group pranced further down the road. Their smiles would falter and would be replaced with curious and confused stares.

The girls didn't know what they hated more, the cheerful and carefree smiles or the curious stares. All the eyes on them made Ellie and Piper feel as if they were monkeys in a zoo. Made to be observed and ogled at. Piper felt particularly on edge when a group of young children stopped and whispered while pointing at her and Ellie. After sending them a curt middle finger, the children gasped or fled in fear. An emotion that made Piper and Ellie feel a bit more at ease.

Soon, the horse slowed and came to a halt. Piper peered over Ellie's shoulder and saw Maria motion to Joel and point to a group of people fixing up a building. Joel's eyes squinted before expanding with an expression that Piper had never seen from him before. At first, she thought it was relief or hope, but she knew her assumptions were wrong; the second, Joel jumped off his horse and called his brother's name. It was love.

Ellie and Piper watched as Joel ran toward Tommy and enveloped him in a hug. His face beaming, a laugh of joy and disbelief escaped his lips. There was a pain in her chest at the sight of Joel and his brother. She felt sick as Joel became someone she didn't recognize. Turning her gaze away, she glanced at Ellie, whose head hung low, hiding her eyes, which felt the very same pain.

"It's okay," Piper whispered in her sister's ear. It was a lifeless comfort. Nothing Piper could say would ever ease the ache in both of their hearts. They were cargo. Tommy was family. The girls had to keep reminding themselves of that, even if their hearts were dreaming for something else.

It didn't take long for the joyous reunion to end. Everyone was ushered inside, and a hot meal was placed down in front of them. The ache in the girl's heart seemed to be never-ending, but the sight and scent of a decent meal helped distract from the hurt.

Before the steam from the plate could dissipate, the girl's plates had been practically cleared.

Maria sat beside Tommy, who watched in horror as Joel and the girls scarfed down their food. "There's more if you need it," Maria mentioned.

Joel looked up from his plate and noticed the hurried manner in which they had been eating. Slowly swallowing his food, he sat up straighter and adjusted how he held his fork. Clearing his throat, he began, "Thank you, ma'am. It's been a while since we've had a proper meal."

"Actually," Ellie said as she chewed another bite, "I don't think I've ever had a proper meal. This is fսckin' amazing."

Simultaneously, Piper took a bite and moaned, "Fuuck, that’s good."

Joel felt his cheeks grow red. "Sorry. Ellie, Piper…," the girls snapped their heads in his direction, cheeks stuffed with food. "…let's mind our manners."

Piper gulped. "Sorry," she quietly apologized.

Ellie, on the other hand, ignored Joel's words until Piper kicked her shin. Ellie sent her sister a glare when she noticed another figure looking at them from afar. It was a girl with dark hair and tan skin. She peeked around the corner and caught sight of Ellie's stare.

"What?!" Ellie yelled, scaring the girl away.

"What's wrong with you?" Joel hissed.

"What about her manners?" Ellie quipped back.

Maria calmly placed a hand on the table. "She was just curious. Kids around here don't usually look or talk like you."

"Right… well, maybe Piper and I’ll teach them," Ellie muttered before taking another bite.

Joel sighed and gave Maria and Tommy an apologetic look.

"I want my gun back," Piper said, looking up at Tommy and Maria.

"Kids here also aren't armed," Maria noted.

Piper scoffed. "But what if-"

"Then the adults step in," Maria responded. "Kids deserve to be kids."

Maria's comment made Piper scoff once again. She placed down her fork and stared at the woman. "So what?" Piper spat, "You think I'm just gonna let some fucker-"

"Piper," Joel reprimanded, sending her a glare that was returned by the rolling of her eyes.

Tommy sat up in his chair. His eyes darted between Joel and Piper. "You know what? Uh…" Tommy muttered. "I think maybe y'all got a little off on the wrong foot."

Piper snickered and pointed at Maria. "She was gonna have her guys kill us."

"Well, we gotta be real careful about who we let in this place," Tommy explained. "But it's all bark. We're just tryna scare off those who might wanna try us."

"Well, you got a couple of 90-year-olds shitting themselves out there," Ellie added.

"Ellie," Joel cautioned.

"What?" Ellie hissed.

"They say that you leave dead bodies around," Piper said, staring down at Maria.

"Those are the people who tried us," Maria replied, leaning forward.

Tommy placed a hand on Maria's shoulder. "A bad reputation doesn't mean you're bad," he noted.

"Not always, at least," Maria said.

"Ma'am…," Joel began. "We're grateful for your hospitality and all. But it'd be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family."

Tommy's eyes shifted to Maria and then his brother. "Well, um… Maria is family, actually,' Tommy corrected.

Ellie was the first to get Tommy's meaning. "Oh, shit! Congrats," she congratulated.

"Congrats," Piper begrudgingly muttered. Her glare at Maria softened. She looked to her right and noticed Joel's silence. "Joel, say congrats," Piper encouraged.

"Congrats," Joel mumbled, and a silence followed.

Feeling uneasy with how his brother was looking at him, Tommy stood up from his seat. "How 'bout a tour?"

꧁_꧂

The chilly winter air pinkened their cheeks and the tips of their ears as they emerged from the dining hall. Maria took the lead with Tommy in the back as they began the tour of the settlement.

"We settled here about seven years ago," Maria began. "Just a handful of us back then."

The girls looked around, acknowledging the street bordered with buildings of shapes and colors. Piper sniffled as the cold reached her nose. The sniffle was cut short in her throat, and it didn't take long for her lungs to heave. Stopping in her tracks, Piper keeled over and coughed.

The whole group stopped to look at her. She hated having their eyes glued to her. After all, it was just a simple cough. "Are you good? You look sick," Joel stated.

Forcing the cough away, Piper replied, "I’m not–I’m fine. I don’t get sick." She stood straight and stared at the group as if the look in her eye could wash away any doubt they had in her impeccable health.

Maria stepped forward and, in a gentle voice, spoke. "The doctor’s is just down the street, I can take y’all there to-"

"I said I’m fucking fine!" Piper spat.

"Piper," Joel hissed.

"What?" Piper said.

Taking a good look at her, Joel saw the signs: the pink nose, the recent headaches, the coughing. So, for the first time since Tommy made his announcement, Joel looked at Maria. "If you could show us to the doctor, that’d be great."

"Joel!" Piper whined, the sound of betrayal deeply ingrained in her voice.

"Pipes, come on," Ellie chimed in, placing a hand on her sister's shoulder. "You've been coughing and grabbing your head for days now."

Piper took one swing and swatted Ellie's hand away. "Ellie, I swear to fuck–"

"I’ll take you after the tour," Maria loudly announced, silencing the rising argument. Turning over her shoulder, she picked the tour back up as if nothing ever happened. "That section was already a gated community, so we built the rest of the wall out from there. Stopped most of the raiding parties, but we still found pockets of them."

"And you said Infected?" Joel asked.

Tommy jogged up close to his brother and, leaning in, explained, "Yeah, but usually smaller colonies wandered off from the cities. All this open country out here… it's a turkey shoot. I still got my 700, but I found a variable power scope. Sub-MOA." With a beam on his face, he continued. "Can headshot those fuckers from a half mile out."

Ellie's ears perked at the mention of Tommy's shooting. She glanced over at Joel and then back at Tommy, who was a lot more likable than the other. She thought to herself that maybe if Joel wasn't willing to teach her, then maybe Tommy might. "Can you teach me how?" She found herself wishfully asking.

Joel peered over his shoulder and glared. "No, he can't," he said, turning to Maria to propose another question: "How do you keep this place quiet?"

"Carefully," Maria said, "Being in the middle of nowhere helps. Not advertising what we have, staying off the radio. House of worship, multifaith. School. Laundry. Old bank works as the jail, not that we've needed it."

"And you draw power from the dam?" Joel questioned.

"Got that workin' a couple years ago," Tommy mentioned. "After that, sewage, plumbing, water heaters… lights."

The girls shared a moment of awe, even if they did not display it on their faces. "This place actually fսckin' works," Ellie mumbled to herself.

Piper leaned close to her sister and whispered, "I know, right? Hey, look," Piper patted Ellie's shoulder and pointed to a herd of sheep. Their white, fluffy fur made them look like the clouds above. The girls strayed from the group and hopped onto the fence. "Hey Joel, check it out!" Piper smirked,, earning a chuckle from Ellie and an eye roll from Joel.

"So are you, like, in charge?" Ellie asked after jumping off the fence and returning to the tour group.

"No one person's in charge," Maria explained. "I'm on the council. Democratically elected, serving 300 people, including children. Everyone pitches in. We rotate patrols, food prep, repairs, hunting, and harvesting. Everything you see in our town, including greenhouses and livestock, is shared. Collective ownership."

"So, uh, communism," Joel scoffed.

Tommy shook his head. "Nah. Nah, it ain't like that."

Maria chuckled and looked at her husband. "It is that. Literally." Tommy's face dropped as contemplation and confusion flooded his face. "This is a commune. We're communists."

Ellie and Piper shrugged, not sure what 'communism' was, and instead focused their attention on the stables nearby. In one of the stalls, a tiny head popped out causing Ellie to shriek and wipe away her detached expression. "No way!"

Maria smiled upon seeing the cause of Ellie's excitement. "That's our newest one. Couple of months old. You wanna pet her?" Maria motioned for Ellie to get closer.

Ellie didn't waste any time petting the small horse. "What's her name?" She softly asked.

"Shimmer," Maria replied.

"Shimmer," Ellie cooed. "You're so beautiful."

Upon noticing Piper's distance, Maria gently smiled at the girl. "You can pet her too," she said.

Piper shook her head and coughed. "No thanks," she said, trying to cover up the tension in her lungs.

Ellie reluctantly turned away from Shimmer and looked back at her sister. "You know, I’m starting to think you are sick."

"Fucking hell, Ellie," Piper growled. "You know I don’t get sick."

"Everyone gets sick," Maria assured Piper before turning to Tommy. "Well, I'm sure they'd like a shower and some new clothes. We can put them in the empty house across the street from us."

Tommy nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Yeah. It's a decent place. Pretty much untouched since '03, but it's got the heat goin' in it. Could do worse."

"Oh," Ellie noted, "trust me, we have been."

"We've been doin' fine," Joel reiterated.

"Well," Maria said. I'll take Ellie over there and Piper to the doctor if you two want to catch up."

Piper's eyes widened, and she raised her shoulders in defense. "I’m not goi–"

"You’re going," Joel decided. Piper opened her mouth to refute but was shot down by the look in Joel's dark eyes.

"Yeah," Tommy nodded. "Okay."

"Joel," Ellie muttered, glancing over to Joel.

"You'll be fine," he reassured. "You both will be fine." Piper rolled her eyes and huffed as Joel and Tommy walked away, already beginning to talk amongst themselves.

"Shall we?" Maria asked.

"Uh, yeah," Ellie replied before looking at her sister.

"Fine," Piper grumbled.

Maria began to walk before peering over her shoulder at the girls. "I’ll take you to the Doctor first. It’s on the way," Maria said. "Doctor Watson is a nice man. Knows what he’s doing. You’re in good hands."

"I’m not–" Piper complained.

"-Sick," Maria finished. "I know. But let’s hear it from someone who knows."

꧁_꧂

Ellie had to shove Piper through the doctor's office doors. Maria couldn't help but chuckle to herself at the sight in front of her. While the two girls struggled, she easily stepped inside and greeted the young man sitting behind the desk.

"Hello, Charlie," she smiled. A head of dark curly hair looked up at the three of them. His black eyes darted between Maria and Piper, who was fighting off Ellie's attempts at manhandling her.

"Maria, to what do I owe the pleasure," Charlie asked once the front door loudly slammed shut.

"I’ve got a friend here who needs to see Doctor Watson," Maria spoke before pointing to Piper.

"I see," Charlie nodded. "We’ll take good care of her."

"I know you will," Maria agreed before turning to Piper. "Piper, I’ll be back in a while. I’m just taking Ellie to the house."

Piper's eyes widened, and she nervously looked over to her sister. "But–"

"Just to check," Maria reminded.

"Stop being such a baby, Pipes," Ellie chimed in.

"Fuck you," Piper whined in response as Ellie and Maria walked out the doors just as quickly as they had come in. With a huff, Piper spotted an empty seat and sat down, fiddling with her hands in an attempt to ignore the stares from the boy.

"Haven’t seen your face before," Charlie said as he peeked his head over the desk.

"Fuck off," Piper hissed.

"Yikes. She bites," chuckled Charlie. Deciding that his current viewpoint wasn't satisfactory, he stood up, leaned against the desk, and smiled cheerfully at Piper.

She hated that smile. She hated his bouncy, curly head of hair and his soft, dark eyes. They reminded her of Joel's. The very eyes she recently found herself finding comfort. "And who the fuck are you?" She questioned, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Charleston Brekker." He took out his hand for her to shake. Piper glared at his hand as if it had created the biggest offense in the history of the world. Awkwardly, Charlie withdrew his hand and placed it in his pants pocket. "But I go by Charlie. I’m the doc’s intern of sorts. He’s showing me the ropes and whatnot before he kicks the can."

"That’s a fucking mouthful," Piper mumbled. "And Brekker? More like a breaker."

Charlie nervously chuckled. "Haha, very funny. What’s your name?"

Piper scoffed, "As if I’d tell you."

Shrugging his shoulders, Charlie sighed. "Alright, Piper, thought I’d at least give you the chance to tell me yourself." He wanted to laugh at the look of disbelief on her face. "I heard Maria say it,' he explained.

"Fuck you."

Charlie glanced down at the ground fighting the urge to sigh again. To him, trying to make conversation with Piper was like trying to pet a wolf. "The Doctor is seeing someone else right now, should be out soon," he said.

"Whatever."

So far, Charlie has tried two potential conversation openers. Piper had shot down both of them. Luckily, Charlie had a plethora of backup plans. "Let me guess, you’re 8," Charlie guessed.

"Let me guess," Piper leered, "you don’t know how to shut your mouth. And I’m 17."

"We’re the same age," Charlie added. "And for the record, I don’t."

"I can tell." Piper took a good look at him. He had strong features adorning his face. Each sculpted part of his face framed his eyes. She hated those eyes. Why were they so kind and clear, free from the clouds and dirt that plagued hers? However, what she hated most was his smile. It reached the apples of his cheeks that turned a light pink each time he flashed her that smile. God, it was gross. Disgusting. She hat- Piper shook her head. She was thinking too much about his stupid face and stupid smile.

"So…have you–" Charlie began again before the sound of the backdoor creaked open.

"Just continue following my orders and you’ll be right as rain in no time," a man dressed in a white coat instructed an elderly woman. The two walked down the hallway and to the doors that Piper so desperately wanted to flee out of. "Charlie, who do we have here?" The man asked once the woman had vacated the area.

"Piper," Charlie said, earning a sharp glare from the girl. "She came in with Maria. Says she isn’t sick."

Doctor Watson nodded. His speckled gray hair bobbed up and down, and the wrinkles on his face creased as he turned to look at her. "I see. Piper, if you’ll come with me."

Taking one look at the doctor, Piper shook her head. "No," she stated.

Doctor Watson's eyes softened at her guarded demeanor. "I’m just going to ensure you’re healthy as you say you are."

Piper's eyes flickered to the backroom. In a quiet voice, she asked, "Do I have to go back there?"

Doctor Watson shook his head. "No, but it offers more privacy…I can leave the door open if that is what you prefer."

After a moment of contemplation, Piper agreed and begrudgingly walked to the backroom with the door open all the way.

꧁_꧂

Joel found himself at ease as he sank onto the barstool. His eyes watched as Tommy went behind the counter and pulled out some drinks for the two of them, pouring the liquid and dropping some ice cubes in the alcohol.

"Been a long time," Joel said. "Doesn't seem like you aged much."

"You, on the other hand," Tommy teased as he placed the drink before Joel. "Thanks for still giving a shit about me." Tommy's eyes expectantly watched as Joel raised the glass to his lips. Joel felt his taste buds light a fire with joy. "Workin' on raisin' some hogs, too," Tommy proudly said. "Once we get bacon, I mean, what's even left?"

"Pshoo," Joel laughed. "Christmas trees and bacon? Pretty decent setup."

"So, how's Tess?" Tommy inquired.

The cheerfulness in Joel's expression faltered. "She's fine. All right."

"Good then," Tommy nodded. "And the kids?"

Joel furrowed his brow until he realized Tommy was asking about his girls—the girls. "Oh, yeah," Joel explained, "They’re the daughters of some Firefly muckety-muck. I'm trying to find their family somewhere out here. I was headin' in this direction, so…"

Disbelief filled Tommy's face. "Really? Goodness of your heart?"

"There's a payment," Joel confessed. "So you know where they might be? These Fireflies?"

Tommy shrugged. "Well, they got a base down at the University of Eastern Colorado. It's, uh, a week's ride south. But…" Tommy noted. "It is severely fսckеd up between here and there. Infected… raiders. It's not exactly an easy trip."

"It'll be easy for us," Joel said, "seeing as how you can headshot Infected from half a mile away, which is a bunch of bullshit, by the way." He took another swig of his drink and sighed as the warm touch of the alcohol traveled down his throat and to the rest of his body.

"Yeah," Tommy quietly said. "I can't go."

"Oh, come on," Joel chuckled. "I made it across the country. The two of us can make it from here to Colorado." Tommy's expression hadn't changed. Joel sighed, "What, 'cause your wife won't let you?"

At the mention of Maria, Tommy's expression hardened. "Joel," Tommy warned.

"She the one who kept you off the radio?" Joel accused, and a flash of guilt grew on Tommy's face. "Is that why you stopped messaging me back?"

"After I ditched the Fireflies, Maria and her crew found me," Tommy explained. "They're good people. They didn't have to take me in, but they did. And all they ask is that I follow their rules."

"I'm your brother."

"Yeah, I'm aware," Tommy acknowledged. "They're very protective of this place, and for good fսckin' reason. I mean, folks find out we're up here…"

"No, I heard. Wrong people might show up," Joel retorted. "So, is that what I am? Am I the wrong people?"

"Joel…" Tommy sighed.

The drink in front of Joel had long been forgotten. Years of hurt bubbled up to the surface, too much for the alcohol to soak up. "Those things I did, Tommy," Joel defended, "those things that you judge me for, I did those things to keep us alive."

"We did those things. And they weren't "things," Tommy argued. "We murdered people. And I don't judge you for it. We survived the only way we knew how. But there were other ways. We just weren't any good at 'em."

"If you knew the shit that I've been through, Tommy." Joel's voice began to falter. "Tryin' to find you these last few months…"

"I'm gonna be a father," Tommy blurted, ending Joel's train of thought. "Maria's a few months along now. So I just gotta be more careful." With Joel's silence, Tommy continued. "To be honest, I'm scared to death. But I don't know. Uh… I feel like I'd be a good dad."

The drink in front of him was intoxicating now, so Joel picked it up and drank the rest. "Guess we'll find out."

"I guess we'll find out?" Tommy scoffed. "That's all you got?"

Joel shrugged, "What else am I supposed to say?"

Anger boiled up to the surface at Joel's response. "Just because life stopped for you…," Tommy said, "doesn't mean it has to stop for me."

Joel's teeth ground against each other, and his jaw began to hurt. "We'll grab some supplies and be outta your hair in the mornin'," Joel mumbled before hastily finding his way out of the bar.

꧁_꧂

Piper was indeed sick. She had been battling a cough and headache for days, yet the news stunned her. Her head tuned out the words of Doctor Watson as the realization hit her. She was sick. The doctor mentioned something about the common cold, but that did not matter. Piper was sick. For as long as she could remember she had never gotten sick. She couldn't. Being sick wasn't a choice for Piper, especially not after FEDRA put a gun in her hand. Yet here she was, sitting in Doctor Watson's office, sick.

"…luckily I have the right medication to help you feel better in no time," Doctor Watson continued and handed Piper a bottle of some pills. "You’ll take three of these each day. Take them with meals. And continue to take them until your cough is gone. And stay out of the cold. Any questions?" Piper shook her head, not realizing he was asking her a question. "Good. Another thing is to keep those hands bandaged and clean. You don't want an infection…"

Glancing down at her hands, she gently trailed her fingers over the white bandages. Doctor Watson had noticed the blood and scabs from where her nails had dug into her palms.

Finally, her ears had caught up with the doctor's words. "Wait, actually…"

Doctor Watson gave her his best bedside smile. "Yes?"

"Can I ask something that’s not related to my cough?" Piper wondered.

"Of course," the doctor replied.

"Hypothetically," Piper began, "if someone were immune to the fungus. You know, the one that turns you into an infe–"

The Doctor's brows raised but allowed her to continue. "Infected. Yes, I do," he finished.

Piper frowned, unsure of how to phrase her next words. Finding a satisfactory sequence of words, she asked, "How would someone like you go about making the cure?"

Doctor Watson sighed and rested his head in his wrinkled hand. His forehead creased as his thoughts came to him. "Well, it’s risky," he said after some time. "The fungus infects the brain, and if someone were immune, it would be something in the brain or the central nervous system if you'd rather I'd get technical."

Piper grimaced. "So, not their blood?"

"No," Doctor Watson shook his head. "To even attempt a cure, that person’s brain would have to be removed so one could determine the cause of immunity. Even so, attempting to replicate it in others is nearly impossible with the state of medical technology now."

"Are you saying…they would die, The immune person?" Piper's voice grew quiet as her clarifying question floated around.

"Yes," Doctor Watson answered.

"Oh," Piper's face fell. With the doctor's answer, she no longer cared for her sickness. Instead, she thought of Ellie. She wondered if Ellie knew, which she most likely didn't. Next, she wondered if Marlene knew and knowingly misled the girls. Did Joel and Tess know? Were she and Ellie just being led to their deaths, all in the hope of an impossible cure? Piper's uncertainty was quickly replaced with a determination to tell Ellie. She had to stop her sister, even if it meant breaking her. She had to tell Ellie. She had to keep Ellie alive. She noticed she'd been quiet for too long. "Thanks for the–yeah," Piper blurted.

"No problem." Doctor Watson stood up and walked to the door, motioning for Piper to follow. "Charlie?" He called out.

Charlie popped up in the doorway. His head of frustratingly perfect curls sparkled with golden highlights from the artificial lights. "Yeah?" He said before sending Piper a grin.

"Charlie will show you out," Doctor Watson told Piper. "Take care, Piper."

"Yeah," Piper muttered before following Charlie out into the lobby. She looked around for Ellie's familiar face and Maria's figure. She frowned. They were nowhere to be seen. "Where’s Maria?" She asked Charlie.

"So…Maria’s not here," Charlie said. "Thought I’d show you to her house." He smiled at her and nervously ran his hand through his hair.

Piper watched his hands as they brushed through his curls. Shaking herself out of her insane trance, she declined, "No thanks."

"It’s not far," Charlie explained, "besides, I’d hate it if you got lost."

"I don’t get lost," Piper mentioned, standing up straighter as she marched to the door.

"Just like you don’t get sick?" Charlie chuckled.

With her hand frozen on the door handle, Piper slowly turned around and caught sight of Charlie's smug smile. "Fuck you," Piper growled before opening the door.

"Thanks," Charlie said as he brushed by Piper, strolling out the door. "Come on, Piper."

She was sure her eyes had rolled into the back of her head and were now permanently stuck. "Jesus Christ," she mumbled.

꧁_꧂

It was hard to see anything in the steam-filled bathroom. The place had a plethora of piping hot water, and Ellie decided she'd take full advantage of that, unaware that she'd left barely any for Piper and Joel. The foggy air fled from the bathroom once Ellie had creaked open the door. If she hadn't just taken the longest and hottest shower known to mankind, one might think there had been a fire.

Creeping over to the pink and green blanketed bed, Ellie noticed the new addition of clean clothes and a plastic, gel-like thingy. Her brows creased as she picked up the strange object and quickly noticed a sheet of paper containing instructions. She briefly read the sheet and pulled her lips tight. "Oh! Gross," she mumbled. Placing it down, she picked up the clothes and began to change.

Each item of clothing was free from dirt, grime, bugs, and anything else that the outdoors could taint with. She felt clean and new. She was sure she'd never felt it in her life. All the clothes she'd worn in the QZ were old or covered in dust from the years of sitting once modern civilization had been forgotten. She smiled, felt the soft cloth along her skin, and thought of how much Piper was going to enjoy a hot shower and new clothes. It'd be a dream come true for her older sister's obsession with hygiene.

After changing, Ellie recalled Maria's words and went down the stairs, out the door, and across the street to Tommy and Maria's residence. Raising her fist to knock quietly, Ellie stepped inside the home.

"Hello? Maria?" She called out, looking around for the woman. Her feet took her further into the home. It was nice and…homely, Ellie guessed. She wasn't sure what a home would look like, but Maria and Tommy's setup seemed close enough. There were maintained couches, lamps, tables, and decorations on the mantel. Upon further glance, Ellie noticed a board with names. It read "Kevin and Sarah."

"Oh, good," Maria's voice said from behind Ellie. Turning around, Ellie peered down at Maria's hand. In it was an ugly-ass purple coat and another that was a blinding bright orange. Both colors were atrocious to look at, but Ellie quickly determined the orange was much easier on the eyes. The shade of the purple coat was that of a dark bruise. It made Ellie feel sick just looking at it.

"I just traded for this. Go ahead, try it on," Maria encouraged, handing the purple coat to Ellie.

"It's, uh," Ellie said, trying to hide her grimace. "…super fսckin' purple."

"Eggplant," Maria corrected. Ellie's eyes flashed with confusion at the mention of an eggplant. Whatever it was, it sounded just as gross as the shade of purple. "It fits?" Maria asked.

"Yeah," Ellie shrugged, feeling much warmer than she'd ever been in her old coat.

"Shoes aren't too big?"

Wiggling her toes, Ellie shook her head. "Uh, no. Where's my other stuff?"

"Rag pile," Maria said. "Did you get the thing I left you?"

"Yeah. Weirdest gift ever," Ellie muttered, thinking about the thingy still on the bed.

"But useful," Maria chuckled. She stepped close to Ellie and pointed to her hair. "Who's been cutting your hair?"

"Uh, world-class salons," Ellie sarcastically replied. Maria smiled. "Piper," Ellie confessed. "Piper's always the one who cuts it."

Maria nodded. "Let me get my scissors."

"Oh," Ellie exclaimed. "Whoa, no. I'm…"

"Trim," Maria assured. "That's all. Just the ends, I promise."

Glancing down at her wet hair, Ellie sighed. It would be nice to cut it a bit shorter. Nodding her head, she followed Maria into the dining room and sat down in the chair Maria had presented her.

Expertly weaving her finger through Ellie's hair, Maria began to brush, measure, and cut it. Ellie's scalp tingled as Maria massaged her head, and she couldn't help but close her eyes in contentment. Maybe Piper could learn some tips from Maria.

"Maria?" An unfamiliar voice echoed throughout the home.

Maria stopped brushing through Ellie's hair and peered around. "Charlie!" She called out as the boy from the doctor's office, and Piper stepped into the dining hall.

"You forgot me," Piper muttered.

"Sorry," Maria apologized. I was busy trading for some new clothes for you and your sister." She stepped away from Ellie, retrieved the clothes and orange coat from the table, and handed them over to Piper. "Here. Try this on," she said before turning to Charlie. Thanks again, Charlie."

"No problem, Ma’am," Charlie beamed, and Piper swore, then stood a few inches taller.

"So, are you gonna try them on?" Maria expectantly said.

Piper glanced down at the clothes and coat. "They’ll fit," she said.

Maria looked disbelieving but chose not to say anything. "Right," she nodded. "The house you’re staying in is right across from mine. Find a room, take a shower and come on back over here. I’ll cut your hair too."

"I’ll cut it myself," Piper grumbled.

Maria sighed. "Well, you’ll need scissors." She walked over to the kitchen and opened a drawer, pulling out another pair of scissors. She carefully placed them in Piper's hand.

"Thanks," Piper mumbled before tucking them under her arm with the rest of her clothes.

"I can show you to the house," Charlie proposed.

Piper opened her mouth to refuse, but Maria beat her to it. "Doctor Watson will need you back at the office."

Charlie closed his mouth and bid his goodbye. Piper watched him go, torn between missing his annoying presence and being grateful for Maria's words. Soon, Maria got back to grooming Ellie's hair. Meanwhile, the urge for a shower grew greater than Doctor Watson's answers. So, Piper found herself sneaking over to the house across the street. There was also a later time she could tell Ellie. A better time away from outside listening ears.

꧁_꧂ "So, this was, like, your job back then or something?" Ellie wondered as Maria snipped away at her hair. It must have been with how deftly Maria navigated Ellie's head of hair.

"No," Maria said. "I was an Assistant District Attorney out of Omaha, Nebraska. I put bad guys in jail."

"Oh… Cool," Ellie replied. "I guess."

"I always liked doing hair, though," Maria continued. "Maybe it was a mom thing. You were looking at the little memorial Tommy made?"

"Uh, yeah." Ellie peeked over at Maria, who gently directed her head back down. "I'm-I'm sorry about your kids."

"It's okay. And kid," Maria corrected. "Just Kevin. Sarah was Joel's daughter." Maria felt Ellie's shoulders stiffen. "Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," Ellie shook her head. "It's okay. I guess that explains him a little."

Satisfied with the trim she had given Ellie, Maria set the scissors down and leaned against the table across from Ellie. "Look, I'm not gonna ask you what you're doing with him."

"Good," Ellie replied. Her voice grew stiff.

"But there are clearly things you don't know about Joel," Maria noted.

"Oh," Ellie said, connecting the dots Maria had left for her. "…like how he used to kill people? I know about that."

"So then you understand my concern."

Ellie shook her head. "He doesn't do that anymore."

"He stopped killing people?" Maria raised her brow, unconvinced.

"Innocent ones," Ellie corrected. "And Tommy did it, too. Are you worried about him?"

"Tommy was following Joel," Maria explained. "The way you and your sister are now."

"Well," Ellie scoffed, "maybe Piper and I are smarter than Tommy. No offense."

"You are definitely smart. Would've made a hell of a lawyer," Maria chuckled. "There's a whole lot you're not telling me. Good. Therein lies the point. Be careful who you put your faith in. The only people who can betray us… are the ones we trust. You understand?"

"Mm-hmm," Ellie nodded.

"Now, come on." Maria stood up. "Grab your super fսckin' eggplant coat."

Ellie shrugged on the coat. "Where are we going?"

"The movies," Maria replied before strolling out the front door, expecting Ellie to follow.

꧁_꧂

Piper noted that the house had just enough bedrooms for Ellie and her and too many bathrooms. There were four, one in each of the bedrooms and another, which she assumed was the communal one.

She'd found a bedroom with ease. Ellie had already staked her claim in one of the upstairs rooms by sprawling her bag on the floor next to the bed. One of the others contained a large bed, much too big for Piper to find any comfort in. She left that one to Joel and instead took up the bedroom on the ground floor.

The walls were painted light blue, and the sheets had various small flower designs adorning them. The bed was small, something she was happy about. She preferred small beds. She wasn't sure why, but she did. The less space things took up, the better.

After finding her room, she entered the bathroom and started up her shower. The water was warm against the cooler air of the bathroom. It did not take long for steam to collect in the air. Stepping underneath the water, Piper watched as months of dirt washed down the drain. At first, the water turned a shade of dark brown, and for a moment, Piper thought it stained the white porcelain of the tub. After a few minutes, the water turned clear again, and Piper began to scrub.

She scrubbed her hair, letting strands trickle down the drain. Her hands, all soaped up, scrubbed her skin until it grew raw and pink. Next were her nail beds, which Piper had determined were the cleanest part of her due to the care Doctor Watson had shown her. Trailing her hands over the soggy bandages, she was glad the Doctor had given her extra. She'd have to rebandage them once her shower was over.

Once she was satisfied with her cleanliness, Piper switched off the water and stepped out. After drying and rebandaging her hand, she wiped away the condensation on the mirror. She didn't spend much time admiring her clean figure and instead looked at her hair. Even washed, it seemed all tangled up. Maybe Maria was right. She really did need a haircut. Carefully, she brushed her fingers through her hair, releasing most of the knots.

Picking up the scissors, Piper stared at her reflection. Her hair was thick and long. Perfect for keeping the nipping cold at bay. She knew she'd have to brave the cold once again and a haircut would not do her any good. Confirming her decision, Piper placed down the scissors and replaced them with the pills Doctor Watson had given her. She swallowed, glanced at her reflection, and left the bathroom.

The new clothes and coat trapped the warmth of the shower against Piper's skin. In the pockets of the coat she found a new hat, gloves, and cup thingy. She frowned as she squished it until recognition filled her face. Placing the period cup in her bag, Piper made her way out of the house and to Maria's. Except Maria wasn't there and neither was Ellie.

"Forgotten again," Piper mumbled to herself. Then she noticed a note on the dining room table.

"We are at the movies. Just take a left and the end of the road and then go straight - Maria"

"Movies," Piper repeated as she crumpled up the note. "Of course, they have movies."

꧁_꧂

The bell above the door chimed, and a burst of cold air filled the room. Joel groaned as the tool in his hand slipped and fell to the floor. His hands were shaking too much to fix his leather boots, which were falling apart at the seams. Not bothering to look up at the guest, Joel placed his head in his hands.

"The guys said I might find you here," Tommy announced before plopping new boots on the table in front of Joel. "Figured I'd save you the trouble."

Joel glanced up at the boots and then at his brother.

"I shouldn't have said what I said," Tommy apologized.

"I don't even believe it," Joel muttered.

"I know you're happy for me. It just…," Tommy trailed off, trying to find the right words. "It's complicated for you… and I'm sorry."

Joel sighed and placed on the new pair of boots. They fit like a glove. "So you're gonna let me off the hook, or what?" Tommy shook his head and leaned against a nearby table. "This ride to the University, is it a suicide mission?" Joel pondered.

"No," Tommy replied. "It's dangerous, but it's nothin' you can't handle. Just prepare and do what you do."

"You've had people go that way and come back?" Joel asked, taking in Tommy's advice.

"All of 'em," Tommy answered. He watched as his brother grew quiet. "What is this?" Tommy asked.

Joel was eerily quiet before answering. "They're immune," he confessed.

"What?" Tommy's brows creased in confusion.

"Ellie and Piper," Joel clarified. "They got infected but didn't get sick. And Piper… the infected just ignore her." Tommy stepped back in disbelief. "Tommy," Joel continued. "Tommy, I saw Piper get bit myself. I saw what the infected did. That was months ago. Months. She's immune."

Tommy peered deep into Joel's eyes and saw the truth of sincerity. Quickly checking the door, Tommy stepped closer to Joel. "From the beginning," Tommy asked.

Joel took in a deep breath of air before beginning. "It was Marlene. She hired us to smuggle the girls to some Fireflies. It went bad. Tess got bit. She made me swear to take the kids. It was her dying wish," Joel's voice cracked. "What the hell was I supposed to do? We made it as far as K.C., and then… You know, they saved my life there… from another kid."

Running his fingers over the calluses on his hands, Joel continued. "Five years ago, I would've destroyed him. But Piper had to shoot him to save me. 17 years old. Because I was too slow and too fսck¡n' deaf to hear him comin'. And I saw… I saw a man kill his own brother… to save Ellie while I just watched."

With each word spilling from his mouth, Joel found his strength disappearing. His eyes blurred, and he felt his cheeks grow wet. This was a weakness. He was weak, and he knew it. "And today, I thought that dog was gonna tear the girls apart because it smelled somethin' on them. And all I did was stand there. I couldn't… move. I couldn't think of anything to say. I just… I was so afraid."

"You think I can still handle things, but… I'm not who I was,: Joel admitted and he felt a weight come off his chest. So long he'd been standing tall. For so long, he kept going, kept looking for Tommy. Now that he'd found his brother, Joel didn't know what to do. "I'm weak. Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and… my heart… feels like it's stopped. And I have dreams. Every night."

"What kinda dreams?" Tommy interjected.

Joel grabbed the side of his head. "I don't know. I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up… I've lost somethin','' he sobbed. "I'm failin' in my sleep. That's all I do. It's all I've ever done is fail them again and again."

Tommy's expression softened as the puzzle of Joel's words came together. "You want me to take the girls," Tommy concluded.

Joel couldn't help but nod as the tears rolled down his face. "I'm just gonna get them killed. I know it. I have to leave them."

"Joel…"Tommy tried to comfort him.

"I mean, it's why you took off on me, right? To make up for the things we did?" Joel said. "Well, here's your chance to bring your kid into a better world. You're younger than me. You're still strong. You said it yourself: you'll come back. You have to take them." Joel sniffled and wiped his cheeks; his pleading exchanged for something more protective. Joel admitted to his brother the truth and discovered a truth of his own. He cared for the girls. They were his girls, whether he liked it or not. It just happened, and he knew he'd die if anything befell them. His heart would be torn into shreds if he couldn't save them, just like he couldn't save Sarah. He knew now why he wanted to refuse Piper's wish, why he didn't want Ellie to pick up a gun, and why he hated hearing about what his girls had gone through. Joel was a father through and through, and Piper and Ellie were not his girls.

"And you can't tell anyone, not even Maria. Tommy, you're the only one I trust," Joel begged. "If anyone else sees those bites on her, what's under her skin… they'll shoot her. It's the last thing I'll ever ask of you. I swear."

Tommy was quiet for a moment before answering. The words that came out of his mouth only relieved Joel. "I'll take them out at dawn. We got you in 38. It's left, left, right."

꧁_꧂

Speckles of white in Piper's hair sparkled under the yellow street lights. She'd left her hair down. The feeling was foreign to her but freeing. Maybe in the future, she'd continue to keep her hair down.

Smiling, she looked down at the snow; her new boots repelled the water and cold. It was a nice change from the leaky shoes she had worn before.

The sound of snow crunching doubled, and Piper looked up. She saw her sister, head hung low, marching towards her.

"Els," Piper called out. Ellie kept walking. "Do you know where the movie is?"

Ellie brushed past her sister, pausing long enough to answer her. "Movie sucks ass," Ellie mumbled.

Piper stopped and turned around. "Hey, is everything-"

"I'm fine," Ellie hissed. "What happened to your hands?"

Piper looked down, "Nothing, scraped them that's all. The doctor was nice enough to bandage them up."

"You sick?" Ellie asked.

Piper was sure that the snow was falling harder now. She shivered. "Yeah…just a cold, though, nothing too bad." Ellie nodded. Speaking of the doctor, I asked about the…" Piper paused, unsure of how to say it. "Ellie, it's not going to work."

Ellie looked up and frowned. "What's not gonna work?" Piper only responded in silence, and from the look on her sister's face, Ellie knew what Piper was going to say. "No. It'll fucking work."

"Els," Piper pleaded.

"No!" Ellie bellowed, shoving Piper's shoulders.

Piper gasped, "Els, listen to me. I asked the doct-"

Ellie's face scrunched up, and her ears rang as a mantra of no repeated in her mind. The next thing she knew, her fist had found its way into Piper's face. Anger and hurt flooded from her soul down her fist and implanted itself onto Piper's body. Too much had been stolen from the girl, and she wasn't going to let Piper take anything else. She wasn't going to let the one thing keeping her going disappear from view. She had to save everyone. She had to get rid of the fungus that had robbed her of a future and the world of anything good. First, her mom, then Riley, Tess, Henry, and Sam. Soon, Joel was going to leave, too. She had heard him beg his brother, and now Piper was going to take away her objective.

With each punch, Ellie found her drive even more controlling. Her fear, anger, and pain took over and governed her actions. It was as if she couldn't hear her sister's pleas or feel the blood trickling down Piper's face and spilling into the snow, tainting it a vibrant red.

"Ellie!" Piper coughed, spitting out blood onto the snow.

Ellie froze. Her chest heaved up and down. The snowing made everything too blurry, or maybe it was the tears escaping Ellie's eyes. Her hands burned from the warmth of Piper's blood and the fog of her mind faded.

Scrambling to stand, Ellie took one look at her sister in the snow. Piper lay on her side in the snow. Wheezing coughs escaped her lungs as blood from her nose and mouth pooled on the snow, melting it. Bruises had already started to form on Piper's skin, turning shades of blue and purple. The same purple of Ellie's coat.

Seeing her sister's pain, Ellie was overcome with guilt. Her heart pounded, and her breath stilled. All she could do was watch or run away, so she did. She ran deep into the snow storm and back to the ghost of a home she was staying in.

By the time the footsteps of Ellie's boots had been erased by the storm, Piper still hadn't moved. She was freezing, bleeding, and in pain. However, it wasn't the pain of the physical wounds Ellie had given her that hurt. Ellie had left. She had hurt Ellie, even if the full truth hadn't been revealed. She had ripped the band-aid off too soon and the wound had grown infected.

As Piper lay in the snow, she grew numb to the cold and the pain. In fact, she welcomed it. She'd been living for Ellie, protecting her, watching over her. After all, it was her and Ellie until the end. She'd said that phrase so many times that the irony scalded her soul. Ellie was marching to the end. An end to save an imaginary world in her head. An end that Piper knew she'd follow her sister into. If Ellie was going to walk into the arms of death, so would Piper. No matter how much she desired to live. No matter how much she didn't want to leave Joel. Nothing mattered when her sister was on the line. Piper had made a promise, and she was going to keep it. Even if it meant dying for a cause she no longer believed in. Even if it meant she had to give up her real dream: the home with Joel and Ellie. The smile on her sister's face, the warmth of Joel's protective hug. The dream of a family.

"Piper?" a distorted voice asked, and soon, a weight was placed on her shoulder. It was Charlie. He was leaning over her now. Looking up, Piper noticed a crowd. People had circled around her, and their whispers thundered in her head.

"Piper, what happened?" Charlie asked. The concern and worry in his voice was apparent.

Piper didn't need his concern. She didn't want it. After all, what good was a stranger's concern if you knew you were going to die? If you knew you were going to lose everything. If you knew you'd be alone.

Smacking away Charlie's hand and pushing him into the snow, Piper stood up and wiped away the blood. She ignored Charlie's pleas and the gasps of the townspeople. Fuck them, Piper thought as she marched through the storm and into the darkness after her sister.

Wherever Ellie went, so did Piper.

꧁_꧂

The house was quiet. If it weren't for the light that trickled out of Ellie's room, Joel would have thought the home was empty. The wooden stairs creaked as Joel trudged up them. His feet carried him as far as the door before he stopped. His hand inches away from knocking.

"Ellie?" Joel called out. There was no response, so he gently pushed the door open and found Ellie sitting on the windowsill. A journal in her hands.

"Is this really all they had to worry about?" Ellie asked. "Boys. Movies. Deciding which shirt goes with which skirt. It's bizarre."

Joel shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped closer, fumbling with his feet. "Listen, um…"

"Why are you here?"

"I came here to talk to you," Joel replied, confused by Ellie's harsh tone of voice.

"No, why are you still here? If you're gonna ditch me, ditch me," Ellie spat and glared at the man.

Joel sighed and felt his lips form into a frown. "What exactly did you hear?"

"I have to leave her. You have to take her," Ellie mocked Joel's deep voice. "You know, I stood up for you today because I thought…" Hurt echoed in her words, and Ellie turned away, trying to fight back tears. Everyone was leaving her.

"I made this decision for your own good," Joel stated.

"Just like Piper?" Ellie muttered with clenched fists. Her hands still burned from her sister's blood.

Joel shook his head, unsure of what Ellie meant. "You'll be way better off with Tommy." "You and Piper," Joel clarified. "Tommy knows the area better than I do…"

Finally turning to face Joel again, Ellie raged, "Do you give a shit about me or not?"

"Of course," Joel defended, and Ellie scoffed. "I do."

"Then what are you so afraid of? I'm not her, you know? Maria told me about Sarah and…" Ellie was cut off.

"Don't," Joel growled. His face hardened, and through clenched teeth, he spoke, "Don't say another word."

Throwing the journal to the side, Ellie stood up. "I-I'm sorry about your daughter, Joel," Ellie said. "But I have lost people, too."

Joel rolled his eyes and stepped back. Hurt flashed in Ellie's eyes. "You have no idea what loss is," Joel stated.

"Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me," Ellie fumed. Her voice grew louder and louder. "Everybody, fսcking except for you and Pi–!" She cut herself short. Joel was leaving, and she had pushed Piper away. There was no way her sister…Ellie bit her lip. She was alone. She was always cursed to be alone. "So don't tell me that I'd be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared."

Joel's expression hardened at Ellie's tears. His heart hurt from seeing her tears and hearing her pleas. Right then and there he wanted to tell her he'd change his mind. Say that he'd take them, but he couldn't. Joel was weak. Ellie and Piper made them weak. This was for the best. He was doing this for them.

"You're right. You're not my daughter," Joel growled. "And I sure as hell ain't your dad. Now, come dawn… we're goin' our separate ways."

Ellie scowled and fell back down on the bed. She hugged her legs in close and turned away from Joel, burying her head in between her knees. "Good luck telling Piper that."

The door creaked behind them, and then Joel heard it. It was the sound of Piper running away. He pinched the sides of his nose and walked out of Ellie's room. This was for the best. As long as he kept telling himself that maybe this whole thing would become a bit easier. He just had to tell Piper, and his pain would be over. His weaknesses would be gone.

At least it would be if he could find Piper. He scoured the entire house: every single room, bathroom, in the dark corners, underneath the furniture. Piper was gone. His heart tightened in his chest until he heard her cough. It was coming from the porch. Piper was outside in the cold.

Joel didn't care how the cold bit at his skin when he saw Piper huddled in the corner. Her body trembled, fighting off the cold. She looked so small compared to how tall she stood. Her once-strong persona crumbled underneath Joel's gaze. Piper was just a kid in a big, scary world. And no matter how long Joel stood staring at her, he couldn't find any words of assurance.

"Don’t leave," Piper whimpered. Given how quiet she had been, Joel wasn't even sure he heard it correctly, so he stood there and watched.

"Please don’t leave," she said a bit louder.

"Look, kid," Joel sighed, stepping closer to her. His heart broke when he saw her tear-stained face peering up at him.

"No, Joel, you listen to me," she pleaded as she reached out to him before pulling back. Her hands turned white as she clung to herself. There was no one else. Ellie was leaving, and so was Joel. Piper was utterly alone. "I got sick and–I never get sick. I never let myself get sick. I couldn’t get–Please don’t leave." Her voice struggled to keep still as the trembles of a lifetime of loss, hurt, and fear overcame her.

"Let’s get you inside," Joel gently suggested as he watched her shiver. His hands unconsciously reached out to hold her, but she pulled back and shook her head.

"No. No, Joel, you’re not listening," she said.

"Piper, I can’t."

Piper sobbed. "Joel, please. I can’t lose you too. I already lost El–everyone. I’ve been fighting for so long I don’t remember what it's like to be safe, but I’m safe with you." Piper peered up at Joel. His eyes were cold. Piper searched and couldn't salvage the safe haven she had found in them before. "I–Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave me," she begged for the last time as her voice failed her.

He had to do it. He was doing it for her, for her and Ellie. It was for the best. Joel repeated these lies over and over until he found enough false strength to turn away. "You should go inside and get some sleep," he suggested with his voice void of emotion. Tommy will take you in the morning." Then he opened the door and left the shell of a young girl to freeze in the cold.

By the time Piper stood up and crawled back inside, she couldn't feel anything. She couldn't feel her hair falling to the ground as she cut it off. All she could hear was the roaring scissors snip as her hair grew shorter inch by inch. She was losing everything: her sister, her purpose, her home, her family, her dream, and Joel. With each cut of the scissors, she felt her pain dull more and more until there was no more hair to cut.

Her beautiful dark hair clung to the sink and bathroom floor. In the middle stood Piper. Her skin was a bright red as heat seeped back under her skin. Dried blood stuck to her skin and clothes. Her bandages were frozen from the cold. She'd have to change them again, but that was for later. All she could do was stand and stare at the ghost she saw in the mirror.

꧁_____________꧂ 

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꧁_____________꧂ 

[newvibesandall]

Does anyone have any fic rec where Joel takes care of Tommy ? I need some brotherly love before S2 🤧

[millsheat]

you know i was always the one defending the show real hard. but to be frank, the trailer left me really skeptical. i don't want to be the devil's advocate, because of course -- we saw a short montage, not the whole thing. but there are few things that left me puzzled and i would like to point them out.

a lot of people, based on the trailer, assume that joel tells the truth to the supposed jackson therapist and not tommy. if that were to be true, i don't think it would have the same impact. joel telling a secret he was willing to die for to tommy shows how strong their bond remained even, after all those years. also, the whole idea of therapist in the jackson is definitely a strange one, but i am not opposing that, rather speculating of the impact this role will have. hopefully, not just the shock value.

lack of infected in the trailer -- i guess this one could be simply explained by saying that they are keeping them as a surprise. hbo offered a significantly higher budget so.

abby being buff. ah, this caused riots on twitter, and you might hate me, but i agree with them. abby's revenge journey is literally built on her appearance. it's a great example for us, viewers or players, how immersed she had gotten into her plan. she has been training for four years, just to be ready. her revenge quest eventually costs her the relationship with owen, as she refuses to spend time with him, being too focused on trailing and hunting joel down.

so, yes. abby's appearance plays an important role. no one is asking for abby to be a buffed three times more than she was on the show. but we are supposed to believe she fights off tommy, fights infected. her main skill is combat fight. i am aware that video game characters possess power that are in many aspects unrealistic. but the second game includes a lot of fights that are important for the story itself.

dina's faith. dina's jewish ancestry gets mentioned a few times, especially when ellie and dina come across the synagogue. actually, some guy on twitter was giving me shit, saying that it is unimportant for her character. i disagree. might sound odd, but we get to know dina through her faith -- when she tells ellie what is means for her, how she still says little prayers. how proud she is because she comes from a long line of survivors. she mentions her favorite traditions (apple dipped in honey). how her and her sister used to visit synagogues on the road. it shows us that dina, despite the world and despite the circumstances, pushes through. i don't think it is fair or right to erase that part of her.

these are just my thoughts. perhaps, the last one is very subjective because i, myself, come from jewish family. anyways, would love to hear your thoughts.

[orangechickenpillow]

Whatever you do, don't imagine Joel's reaction to the first time he gets called "Uncle Joel" by either Tommy or his kid

[rorithinking]

Tommy : Ellie is at that very special age where a kid only has one thing on their mind Joel : Girls? Ellie: Homicide

[mariatesstruther]

i forget exactly where i heard it from but there’s this great quote ahout being separated from a loved one that goes “i always knew you were alive because you would’ve haunted me otherwise” and i think about that for tommy and joel a lot

[hyrules-warrior]

When Joel and Ellie return to Jackson Tommy finds himself reconnecting with his brother again. A large part of him thought he never would, after so much of Joel died with Sarah. But this potty mouthed QZ kid has brought his brother back to him.

They quickly grow close again, bickering, joking, small pranks. Joel becomes a huge source of reassurance when Tommy panics about if he is able to be a good father, and how to care for a baby.

This day starts out just like any other, but Maria has decided Tommy needs to get out of the house and away from her for awhile. His constant doting is appreciated but it is getting stifling so she recruits Joel into taking Tommy out on a hunt with him and Ellie.

The hunt goes well. Tommy finds himself relaxing, all three of them are joking and having a good time.

Until a stray runner comes flying out of the bushes, attracted to their laughter. 

The fight is quick and nothing serious but Joel took a bit of a tumble with the thing after pushing Tommy out of the way and ends up with a nice cut on his head and of course blood everywhere as head wounds always bleed like crazy.

Unfortunately this new cut is right on his scar from a certain “flinch moment” all those years ago and when Tommy turns to look at his brother after getting up from where he was pushed he sees the blood at that location and...

He looses his mind. Suddenly it’s the day after outbreak day again, the day after he was too slow to stop a man from killing his niece. The day he was too slow again and Joel ends up bleeding from a failed attempt.

Tommy freaks out, tries to apply pressure to the wound, starts begging his brother to stay with him, apologizing for not being fast enough, crying and hyperventilating.

Joel is completely overwhelmed with his brother’s panic, he was so shut down back then that he really doesn’t remember what happened after and if Tommy freaked out like this then.

Joel works to calm and comfort Tommy. Grabs him and hugs him tight. Tries to soothe him with quiet words and hushes. It takes awhile, a long while before Tommy finally calms. Even longer before he can let Joel go. They head back to Jackson hunt abandoned and Joel lets Tommy take him to the clinic. Seeing the wound treated and knowing it’s not anything severe finally settles Tommy down completely. 

Maria is not impressed when they get home though. What the heck happened out there? 

[mdawgswizzleinthehizzle]

this is a tommy miller and gabriel luna appreciation post. there are simply not nearly enough of these.

i’m gonna exclude the bad times and just talk about the good ‘cause we need some happier talks in this fandom.

first let’s talk about tommy miller.

his relationship with joel is absolutely one of my favorites. the way that joel basically raised him alongside sarah. tommy definitely looks up to joel in the way that only a little brother can. joel was a mentor, a friend, a father figure, a brother, someone who tommy could mess with like a brother but also talk to about the serious things. and of course, we have the obvious examples of how close tommy and joel were…

tommy wrote joel letters from camp when he was a kid just because he missed him, and even after they reunited those twenty some years later in jackson, they screwed with each other in the patrol logbooks.

and i’m sure they’ve both saved each other from dying on many accounts. like on outbreak day, while tommy was too late to save sarah, he saved joel, and joel was probably crazy about making sure tommy was safe after the outbreak because he was the only family he had left.

then we have that time in jackson when joel and him reunited. makes me cry. and then how tommy agreed to take ellie because he knows that his brother CANNOT handle another one of his kids dying, despite the things that he is putting at risk himself: the relationship with his wife and the fact that he himself is going to be a father. but he’ll risk it because he loves joel.

tommy’s promise to joel AND ellie that there will be a place waiting at jackson for them after their return.

tommy and ellie bonding, him just being an amazing uncle.

after joel’s death, tommy showing up with some food for ellie and checking on her.

and literally so many more examples of why i love tommy.

and then we have gabriel luna. i CANNOT WAIT for him to eat this role up like he already has.

gabriel is a gorgeous man himself, alongside pedro, and their acting together is *chef’s kiss*. they work so well together. pre-outbreak, the reunion, the bar scene, the heavy talk, like i’m so ready for more.

and i’m so ready to see more gabriel and bella too. they’re all such good actors and i really love gabriel as tommy, so i’m super anxious to see more of him these next seasons. next emmy winner, i see it.

[maevenettle]

Tommy leaving Joel is so "Matilda" by Harry Styles.

"You can let it go You can throw a party full of everyone you know And not invite your family 'cause they never showed you love You don't have to be sorry for leavin' and growin' up, mmm"

He literally left because he needed to get away from the violence and brutality of his life in the QZ, with the ghost of his brother who was no longer affectionate and/or playful. IMAGINE THE GUILT HE FELT FOR LEAVING HIS BROTHER BEHIND, EVEN THOUGH HE HAD TO SO HE COULD HEAL.

"You can start a family who will always show you love"

Maria being pregnant and him starting a family :(

[mariatesstruther]

tommy to joel miller

oh quote from joseph gordon-levitt on being second, we're really in it now

[millsheat]

buckle up because this might be my most controversial -- i do not even know how to phrase it without sounding like a pathetic loser. but i am not really sure about the direction they had chosen for show joel. now, let me elaborate.

joel is a very closed off man, given the circumstances. when he meets ellie, she awakens the part of him he had buried twenty years ago. joel is not exactly good at expressing his emotions. but when he does, it means something. it shows how deeply he cares for ellie, how quickly she becomes so important.

joel did not have many emotional moments in the game, but when he did, the writers chose very specific situations where it left the right impact. for example, the porch scene. it is the very first time we see joel get openly emotional (in a good way!). it is still subtle, yet it shows the player just how significant ellie is for him. that he would do it all over again. the scene hits all the marks and says so much with so little words.

so, i am afraid that, forgive me the phrasing -- with joel weeping in so many scenes, even not ellie related, the important moments, those moments with ellie fall flat.

it is a minor detail, i suppose. but the last of us is built on minor details! there are never big, love gestures and emotional conversations. no, it's hidden in the small details that build up the whole story. that's the magic of its storytelling, for me. the subtle expressions with so little words.

and i feel like the show is lacking in this department. by details, i don't mean joel's cracked watches. i mean the way tommy looks at joel when they visit them at the power plant. tommy does not need to hear a long speech in order to realise how important ellie had become for joel, therefore how hard it is for him -- the idea of losing her. he just does not know how to say it, but tommy understands.

i understand the show is, of course, taking a different direction. i just feel that without these subtle, hidden details, it does not have the right kind of magic or impact, if you may.

again, these are just my thoughts.

[itshelia]

Taking anti-depressant pills?? Seeing a therapist??? Journaling???? No need babe, my fav writer just dropped another x reader fic.

[daryltwdixon]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.5 | Part 5

Summary: You and Tommy had been trying for a baby for years. When a trip to the gyno answers questions you didn’t even know to ask, your husband enlists the help of his one and only brother.

|| smut MDNI 18+, pinv, no outbreak, talk of infertility, not cheating but def not exactly kosher, baby makin', breeding kink, dirty talk, size kink, boundaries being crossed || notes: forgive me father for I have sinned. this is filthy. but also thinking about a part 2. kinda sorta maybe inspired by some crazy reddit stories. you'd be surprised how many there are like this LOL

You knew this was a crazy idea. Batshit crazy, actually. You were aware. But maybe, just maybe, if you spun it the right way, if you framed it with enough love and logic, it wouldn’t seem so absurd.

See, the thing is, you and Tommy had been trying for a baby for years. Trying and, well, failing. It wasn’t until your last visit to the OB-GYN that a simple question—"Has Tommy ever been tested?"—sent everything spiraling. A few weeks of waiting. A single piece of paper. An answer you never expected. It wasn’t you. It was him.

Not that you’d ever blame him. You loved him too much. But no matter how many old wives’ tricks you tried—holding your legs up after he emptied himself into you, orgasms before and after, cinnamon and honey in your morning tea—nothing could change the fact that no amount of effort would make it stick.

Which brings you to now. Sat at the kitchen table in your quaint, cozy home with Joel across from you, a few glasses of wine deep. His expression was somewhere between exhausted and mildly entertained from whatever dumb story Tommy had been telling. You’d needed a glass yourself, just to steady your nerves.

And then Tommy popped the question.

Joel blinked once. Twice. His mouth opened, then shut again, then opened just enough for a noise—somewhere between a scoff and an incredulous laugh—to escape. He shifted in his chair, pushing back just slightly, like he needed to physically distance himself from what he was hearing.

“You…” he started, then stopped. Shook his head. “You want me to—?”

He didn’t even finish the sentence. Just motioned vaguely, like the words were so ridiculous they refused to come out of his mouth.

Tommy sighed, his grip firm around your hand while the other wrapped around your shoulders. “Yeah.”

Joel exhaled sharply, eyes darting between the two of you, like maybe, just maybe, this was a joke. That you'd all start laughing and point at him with a big 'got ya!'. His lips parted slightly, his forehead creased.

“You’re serious.”

“We wouldn’t ask anyone else,” Tommy said, voice steady.

Joel let out a breathy laugh, hollow and disbelieving. He dragged a hand down his face before pressing his palms against the table, fingers splaying out like he needed to brace himself.

“This ain’t a normal conversation to be havin’ over dinner, Tommy.”

“We know.”

“Do you?” Joel snapped, finally looking at his brother again, his voice sharper now. “Because I gotta tell ya, it really don’t seem like you do.”

“This ain’t easy for either of us,” Tommy said, his voice steady despite the tension winding between the three of you. “But we wouldn’t ask anyone else. We want to keep it in the family, so…the baby would still be related to me.”

Joel’s jaw tensed. His fingers gripped the stem of his wine glass like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. 

He looked over in your direction, but not directly at you, just at the table. At your hand in Tommy’s.

“And you’re…okay with this?” His voice was different now. Lower. Measured, like he was afraid of the answer.

You nodded. “We’ve talked about it. A lot. Ever since the results came back, we’ve been weighing options, and this—” You hesitated, swallowing, trying to gauge if he was even absorbing a single word. “It makes the most sense. More than adopting. More than a stranger. It keeps things in the family.”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his ears tinged pink. He still wasn’t looking at you.

Not until you said his name. Soft. Careful.

His eyes flicked to yours, just for a second. Just long enough for you to see everything—the disbelief, the sheer what the fuck of it all—before he dropped his gaze again, shaking his head.

“You don’t have to decide now,” you said gently, exhaling softly. “Just… take some time to think about it.”

Joel didn’t respond.

A few minutes later, he left—no joke, no small talk of the next Sunday night football game could cut through the weight pressing down on the room. Just a stiff nod, a muttered see ya, and the quiet sound of the door closing behind him.

The following Sunday, it almost felt like the conversation had never happened.

The three of you sat at the sports bar, watching the Cowboys play on the massive screens, the air thick with the scent of beer and fried food. Tommy was his usual self, shouting at the refs, leaning into Joel’s shoulder every time the score tipped in their favor. Joel, on the other hand, was harder to read. He was relaxed enough, beer in hand, his usual dry remarks slipping out here and there, but there was something quieter beneath it all—something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

Not one mention of a baby. Not a single word about what you’d asked of him.

And maybe that was his answer.

When your husband got up, throwing out the excuse of takin’ a leak, the energy between you and Joel shifted. Not in a way you could name—just… thicker. More noticeable.

He sat a seat away, the empty barstool between you like a buffer neither of you had the nerve to close.

You tried to let it roll off your shoulders, but as you sat there, your mind wandered. What if Joel had said yes? What if it worked? Would the baby have his dark eyes, that heavy, thoughtful brow? Would they get that serious little crease between their eyes when they were thinking? His thick hair, his strong hands?

Tommy would still be their father. That was what mattered. That was the whole point. But the idea of seeing traces of Joel—subtle things, the shape of a nose, the curve of a smile…

The thought sent a strange, unfamiliar feeling curling in your chest.

It hurt, his lack of an answer, of course it did. But how could you blame him? You were asking for too much. Asking him to do something unnatural, something messy, something that could never be as clean and logical as you and Tommy had tried to convince yourselves it was.

You swallowed, setting your drink down as the silence stretched. “Listen, Joel—”

“I’ll do it.”

It was quiet. Like he wasn’t sure if he meant to say it out loud.

Your breath caught, as you stared at him, mouth agape. The side of his face gave nothing away as he kept his eyes on the TV as you waited for some kind of smirk, some sign that he was messing with you.

But he wasn’t.

Joel kept his eyes averted, like this was the kind of thing a person could say without looking someone in the eye. He took a long drink from his bottle, then set it down with a dull thud.

“You and Tommy deserve this,” he murmured, rolling the glass between his palms as he stared down at it. “To have a kid.”

Your heart constricted at the sincerity in his voice.

He exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “My life is better ‘cause of Sarah. Don’t think I ever told Tommy that outright, but… it is. I’d love to see him get to have that too.”

You blinked. “Are you…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “You serious?”

Joel turned to you finally, his eyes meeting yours for the first time since last week before you dropped the bomb on him, “Yeah.” he said finally, “Yeah, I’m serious.”

He was clearly uncomfortable, clearly still working through it—but the fact that he said it at all, that he meant it... that was more than you expected.

To be honest, you knew the baster idea wouldn’t work.

Not that you’d ever say it out loud. Not to your very loving, very kind, very hopeful husband. But deep down, you were pretty sure that by the time Joel had taken care of himself, transferred it into a container, driven it over, and you’d sat back on the bed with your legs up, whatever needed to be alive in there was long dead.

You didn’t bring it up. Couldn’t. Not when Tommy was trying so hard to make this work.

Across from you in the kitchen one morning, another negative pregnancy test sitting between you, your husband sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw before reaching for his mug, “If I ask you somethin’,” he murmured, voice low, hesitant, “will you tell me the truth?”

Your eyes flicked up to his. “Of course, baby.”

His hand rested on the granite, fingers close enough that you reached out, tracing them lightly with your own. His eyes drifted down to your delicate touch against him.

Then, he exhaled slowly and cleared his throat.

“Do you think we should try…” His fingers twitched under yours. “Ya know. The old-fashioned way?”

For a second, the words didn’t land.

Not until you saw the way his eyes found yours and he was looking at you—serious, thoughtful, like he’d been turning it over in his head for longer than he wanted to admit.

You blinked. “What do you mean?”

Tommy sighed, pressing his lips together before setting his coffee down. “I just think… for it to stick properly, we might need to try somethin’ more… natural.”

Your mind reeled. Heat crept up your neck, flushing your skin before you could stop it.

The idea of being with another man…

Tommy saw it. The way your lips parted, the way your breath caught just slightly.

He stepped closer, smoothing his hands over your cheeks, tilting your face up toward his.

“Only if you were comfortable with it,” he assured, voice gentle, steady. “I’d never ask you to do somethin’ you didn’t wanna do.”

You swallowed hard, still trying to process. “I—I don’t know, Tommy.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “And Joel would flip out if we asked that of him.”

Tommy hummed, thumbs brushing over your cheekbones. “Yeah, he might.”

Might was an understatement.

Joel was over the following day to help with your bathroom remodel, a project the brothers had taken on during the slow season. You were busy finishing whatever odds and ends you needed to get done upstairs when you heard his voice traveling through the house.

Not just his voice—but the volume of it.

“Are you outta your goddamn mind?!”

The sound rattled through the house, shaking the walls as you hovered at the top of the stairs, heart pounding.

“Joel—” Tommy’s voice, calm but firm.

“No. No, you don’t get to ‘Joel’ me right now, Tommy, because what you just said—what you just— Christ.” There was the distinct sound of something slamming—a fist on the table? A chair shoved back? You weren’t sure, but it made you wince.

“Look, man, I knew you’d be pissed,” Tommy started, only to be cut off immediately.

“Oh, did you?” Joel’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “You knew I’d be pissed, but you went ahead and asked anyway? Jesus fuckin’ Christ. I’m already crossin’ so many lines with what we’re doin’, and now you’re askin’ me to…to—!?”

You could picture it perfectly—Joel pacing the length of the room, one hand on his hip, the other raking through his hair, winding up, because when Joel was really mad, he didn’t just stand there.

“You’re makin’ it a bigger deal than it is,” Tommy tried, tone even.

Joel let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I misunderstand the part where you just asked me to fuck your wife?”

Heat crawled up your neck.

“We ain’t askin’ that, Jesus, Joel, don’t talk about her like—”

“You are absolutely askin’ that.”

“It’s not like that.”

“The hell it ain’t!”

Silence. Heavy, tense.

You swallowed hard, gripping the banister, unsure whether to go down there or stay put.

Then—Joel’s voice, lower now, but still laced with disbelief.

“Tell me you didn’t really think I’d say yes to this.”

And Tommy, just as steady as ever:

“I think you wanna say no.” A pause, and you could almost feel the shift in the air between them. “But deep down? I think you’re already considerin’ it.”

Joel let out a slow, sharp exhale, but he didn’t argue.

And a week later, he was back at your doorstep.

There were three rules.

1. No kissing.

That was the hard line, the non-negotiable. Kissing was too intimate— too personal, too close to something else entirely. You could rationalize everything else, strip it down to the mechanics of what needed to happen, but kissing blurred the lines. That made it mean something. And this couldn’t mean anything.

2. No talking about it outside the bedroom. 

No slipping up over dinner, no awkward mentions in passing, no weird jokes over a few beers. It had to stay contained. A thing that only existed in a room with the door closed and the world shut out. Because once it bled into the rest of your life—once it became something you acknowledged beyond those four walls—it would become real.

3. No names

No whispered Joel in the dark, he couldn’t say yours while he was inside you. Names had weight. Names had meaning. And the second you said them, it stopped being about a baby.

So when your ovulation window came within the next few days, you found yourself in your bedroom with the two brothers. When Tommy excused himself from the room—pressing a kiss to your forehead before heading out to meet his buddies at the bar like this wasn’t the weirdest fucking thing in the world— you turned to Joel

Over the years, you’d come to know him, grown comfortable with him. That familiarity should’ve helped, should’ve made this easier. But sitting here now, alone in the bedroom with him, awkward was an understatement.

Joel sighed, rubbing his forefinger and thumb along his brows as he stood at the edge of the bed. “Guess we better get to it, then.”

You nodded numbly, tucking your legs beneath you on the bedspread, looking up at him.

He was already tense, broad shoulders squared, avoiding your gaze like you weren’t even in the damn room. He exhaled sharply, then—without ceremony—unbuckled his belt. The clink of metal sent a strange ripple through your stomach, but you forced yourself to focus, watching as he shucked his jeans down to his thighs, taking his boxers with them.

Your breath caught.

Even soft as he was at the moment, he was bigger than Tommy. Thicker.

Joel cleared his throat, shifting his stance, one hand bracing against the bedpost while the other wrapped around himself. He wasn’t looking at you. Not even close. His gaze stayed fixed somewhere off to the side, jaw locked, the muscles in his forearm flexing as he started moving his hand.

It wasn’t working.

Minutes passed, the air between you thick and suffocating, but he remained… soft. The tension in his face deepened, brows knitting, his motions growing stilted.

You chewed your lip, watching as his frustration mounted.

“You don’t gotta sit there starin’ at me,” he muttered, voice gruff, like this was somehow your fault.

You exhaled through your nose. “I’m just… tryin’ to think how I can help.”

His hand stilled. “You’re fine. Just–just give me a minute,”

Then suddenly as the idea struck, you reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it up.

Joel’s head snapped toward you, eyes going wide. “What’re you doin’?” His voice was sharp, edged in something that sounded suspiciously close to panic.

You hesitated. “Just… thought maybe it’d help.”

“Well, don’t.” His ears were red. “Keep your damn clothes on.”

You huffed. “Jesus, it’s just a shirt.”

He grumbled something under his breath, but let it go, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe any of this was happening.

Another beat of silence, only the sound of skin on skin filling the air as he fisted himself.

“Can I help?”

His gaze flicked to yours, skeptical. “Help how?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. What do you like?”

Joel tensed. “…The hell kinda question is that?”

“A valid one,” you shot back, tilting your head. “C’mon, there’s gotta be somethin’. What do you like?”

He hesitated, shifting where he stood, uncomfortable. You rattled off a few suggestions, some kinks you’d heard of. He barely reacted.

Then finally, one seemed to slap him upside the head, “Do you like dirty talk?”

His entire body stilled.

His eyes finally, finally found yours.

Bingo.

A slow pulse of heat curled low in your stomach.

You leaned forward slightly, voice softer now. “What kind of things do you say?”

He didn’t answer right away. Just stared at you, the tension in his jaw loosening, his pupils starting to widen.

“Come on, Joel,” you said, then immediately pressed your lips together, realizing you’d already broken one of your own rules—not even five minutes in.

“Sorry—” You exhaled, shaking your head. “But c’mon, do you want me to talk to you? Or what do you usually say to women?”

Joel’s eyes were suddenly burning into you, his chest rising and falling just a little heavier now. He exhaled sharply, remembering himself as his gaze flickered around the room like he wasn’t sure where to land it, like maybe if he didn’t look at you, this would stay clinical—mechanical.

“I uh…” He wet his lips, voice rough. “Usually will tell ‘em they’re bein’ real good for me,” he said, exhaling through his teeth. “Bein’ a good girl.”

The temperature of the room shifted, the air growing heavy, pressing down on you. A slow, pooling ache pulsed low in your belly. His nostrils flared as his eyes found yours again, like maybe he could see exactly what that did to you.

You swallowed, “What else?”

Joel’s hips twitched. He hesitated, his grip flexing around himself, fingers curling just slightly. You caught the bob of his throat, the faint shift of his stance. He was getting there.

His gaze dropped to your mouth. “Tell ‘em how pretty they look on their knees.” His voice had taken on a new weight—thicker, heavier, his drawl rolling low in his throat. “How sweet they sound when they moan for me. How bad I wanna feel ‘em wrapped around me, drippin’ and ready, beggin’ for more.”

The room contracted, the air impossibly tight, each breath harder to pull in. Your skin felt hot, your lips parting as you fought to keep your breathing steady. And you knew—knew—your pupils were wide, knew your face was flushed.

Because his was too.

His eyes had darkened, locked on yours, heat simmering beneath the surface. You inhaled deeply, the air between you charged, electric. You reached out, fingers grazing along his forearm. He tensed, muscles flexing beneath your touch, but he didn’t pull away.

“You wanna take this off?” you murmured, voice quiet but sure, fingers tracing up toward the sleeve of his shirt.

Joel let out a slow breath, something flickering behind his eyes—hesitation, uncertainty—but then, after a beat, he reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor.

Your gaze raked over him.

Christ. He was the epitome of masculinity—broad and solid, built like something carved from rough earth, from long years of labor and hardship. His chest was strong, lined with thick, dark hair that tapered down his stomach in a steady trail, leading lower—disappearing into the patch just above where he was hardening in his hand. 

Your mouth was dry, your pulse a slow, deliberate thrum in your veins.

You lifted your hands to the hem of your own shirt, pausing just slightly. He hadn’t looked away.

“Okay?” you asked softly.

His jaw flexed, gaze dark, unreadable—but after a second, he nodded.

You pulled it over your head, the fabric slipping away, baring more skin than you’d ever thought he’d see.

Joel exhaled sharply, his eyes dragging down your body, heavy and slow, his pupils swallowing the color of his eyes. Your nipples pebbled in the open air, a shiver running through you as his gaze settled there, his breath hitching just slightly.

You reached for him again, fingers trailing along the hard lines of his chest, dipping over the planes of his stomach. He was warm beneath your touch and he smelled like pine and musk and something richer, something leathered and sun-baked—something distinctly Joel.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “O—okay,” he exhaled, voice rough. “I think I’m… good,” he added shakily, and you could see his body finally catching up to the filth rolling off his tongue, the thick weight of him fully hard now. You swallowed dryly at the sheer size of him in his palm.

Standing slowly, your hands dropped from his body, but your eyes never left his as you slid your pants down your hips and let them pool at your feet.

Bare. You were both bare.

Your gaze dragged over him, from the broad stretch of his shoulders down to his stomach, the solid cut of his thighs, his cock standing thick and heavy between you. It was the most you’d ever seen of him. The most he’d ever seen of you.

And he was beautiful.

Joel swallowed hard, his jaw tight as his gaze traveled over every inch of you. Then, wordlessly, you laid back down on the bedspread, opening your legs for him.

He cursed under his breath.

You caught the way his throat bobbed, the way his fingers twitched at his sides before he climbed onto the bed after you, settling between your legs. His eyes darted down, locked onto the wetness pooling between your thighs, and his nostrils flared.

“All this from just a few sweet words, huh?” His voice was lower now, edged with something amused but dark, something he hadn’t meant to let slip through.

He shifted forward, but you stopped him with a hand to his chest.

“I, uh…” You cleared your throat, suddenly shy. “It’s said that women are more likely to get pregnant if, um… if they orgasm during or… or before, I think.”

Joel stilled for half a second before a slow smirk pulled at his lips. “You doubt me so much?”

The teasing edge in his voice—the cockiness—made some of the tension in your chest loosen. You let out a breathless laugh, your body unwinding slightly from the tension earlier. “I just… I’ve never…”

Something shifted in his face. The smirk faltered just a little. “You’re sayin’ my baby brother doesn’t take care of his own wife?”

“No!” you said quickly, your hand flexing against his chest defensively. “He does, it’s just… I can’t finish just from penetration. Most women can’t, actually.”

“I know, darlin’.”

You gasped as the thick head of his cock suddenly swiped through your slick arousal, and he hissed, pressing his other hand into the pillow beside your head as he leaned over you.

“Fuck—”

His voice was rough, gravelly, wrecked, and something about it made your thighs squeeze around his waist, made the heat coil even tighter in your belly.

Joel lingered there, his cock sliding through your slick, slow and deliberate, teasing against your swollen clit with every pass. The thick head caught at your entrance, nudging just slightly, and a gasp broke from your lips before you could swallow it down.

His jaw ticked, fingers flexing in the pillow beside your head, his body wound tight like a spring.

“This okay?” he asked, voice rough, strained.

You nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yes.”

He pressed forward, just an inch, just enough for you to feel the blunt stretch of him, and your breath hitched.

“Jesus,” he muttered under his breath. “So damn wet.”

Heat flooded your face, but you couldn’t think—couldn’t focus on anything other than how thick he was, how different he was from Tommy. You felt like you were being split in two, but you wanted more. Every inch only made that need, that hunger, grow.

His hand lifted from his cock, skimming over your hip before settling on your thigh, holding you open.

“Gotta take it slow,” he murmured, mostly to himself. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

You swallowed hard, fingers curling into the sheets beside you. “I can take it.”

His head dropped for a second, a quiet curse slipping past his lips. “Don’t say shit like that, sweetheart.”

Something about that word, the way it left his mouth—low and full of something dangerous—made your stomach clench.

The stretch was slow, unbearable in the best way as he pushed forward even more, your body giving inch by inch, and you let out a sharp exhale as he filled you.

Joel groaned, deep and low, his fingers tightening on your thigh as he finally buried himself to the hilt.

Jesus Christ.

The weight of him inside you, the way he fit—it was overwhelming, taking up every inch of space, leaving you panting beneath him.

“Fuck,” he gritted out, his hips flush with yours now, his jaw tight. “You’re—shit, you’re squeezin’ me so damn tight.”

Your thighs trembled around his waist, your body working to adjust to the fullness, to the sheer size of him, and then—oh god—then he moved.

A slow pull out, a deep thrust back in.

You moaned, head falling back against the pillows, fingers flexing against the sheets.

Joel’s breath was ragged, his grip tightening. “That’s it.”

As he began to set a steady pace, a deep thrust in, a gentle pull out, the tingling sensation you knew all too well was rising fast—too fast. It climbed up your spine, coiling tight, and your breath hitched in your throat. The sensation was familiar, so familiar, but not like this. Not from this.

Joel moved with deep, deliberate thrusts, each one stretching you full, dragging against every oversensitive nerve inside you with agonizing precision. His cock was thick, heavy, unrelenting—pressing deep, pressing right, pleasure licking up your spine like fire.

His hand moved between you, thumb finding your clit with ease, the calloused pad brushing over the swollen bundle of nerves, a touch just firm enough to make you jolt. Your whole body reacted, thighs trembling, an involuntary gasp ripping from your lips.

His breath hitched as he felt it too, and he let out a dark, pleased hum.

“Feel that?” he murmured, his voice a slow, deliberate drag against your skin. His thumb moved again, slick and sure, working tight little circles against you. “Now, what was it you said again?”

Your chest heaved, your fingers gripping at the sheets, at him, anything to keep yourself tethered, because the pleasure was coming in hot, hard waves now—building, climbing, making your skin flush and prickle with heat.

“I—I never—” You gasped, voice breaking, lips parting as your back arched into the feeling, as you felt your muscles tighten and clench under him.

Joel leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. “C’mon, sweet girl. Use your words.”

Your hips met every thrust, dragging a moan from deep in your chest.

“I’ve never—ah!—never come like this before,” you choked out, breathless and desperate.

Joel swore under his breath.

“You’re tellin’ me,” he rasped, voice dripping in absolute filth and sin, “my pissy little brother never made you come on his cock before?”

The shame of it—the filthy, shameless truth of it—slammed into you just as hard as the pleasure. Your breath came in short, stilted gasps, your thighs twitching, heat curling low and tight, twisting like a wire pulled too taut. You gripped his biceps hard where they caged you in, your nails digging into his skin.

“I–”

“Never felt the way you’re squeezin’ the life outta me right now, baby?” His voice dipped lower, rougher, as his thumb pressed, rubbing slow and tight. “Never had you like this? Drippin’ and desperate? Makin’ the prettiest fuckin’ sounds I’ve ever heard?”

Heat flared in your belly, your legs shaking around him, pleasure tearing through you.

Joel felt it, the way you clenched down around him, and he grinned, breath hot against your mouth as he groaned through his teeth.

“Fuck—that’s it. Let me feel you.”

And you did.

Your body suddenly snapped. The orgasm slammed into you, white-hot and merciless, every nerve in your body firing at once, blinding you with pleasure so intense it was nearly unbearable. Your breath punched from your lungs as your back arched clean off the bed, thighs trembling, a cry tearing from your lips as waves of heat crashed through you.

Joel swore under his breath, hips stuttering as you clenched tight around him, and his mouth hovered just above yours, his breath mixing with yours, the air between you thick and electric.

He felt the way your body fluttered around him, still pulsing with the comedown of your orgasm, dragging him deeper, tighter—trapping him. His breath was heavy, coming in sharp, ragged exhales as he dropped his head, his forehead resting against yours.

His hips kept moving quick and uneven, dragging his cock in and out of your still-clenching walls. He was throbbing, thick and hot inside you, every roll of his hips sending sharp little sparks of overstimulation through your system.

That was when, after coming back to earth, you saw the way his lips parted slightly, his breath hitching whenever you squeezed around him just right. The tension in his face, the way his muscles coiled and flexed with every deliberate movement.

He was close.

You wondered…

Your breath was still shaky, voice unsteady, but you let it slip out, slow and sultry, testing the waters, “You feel so good,” you whispered.

Joel froze for a split second, a sharp breath punching from his lungs as he reeled his head back to look down at you.

"Does it feel good for you?” you whispered, your fingers trailing up the nape of his neck. “Filling me up? Making me feel so full? So good?”

Joel let out a ragged, wrecked sound, his fingers digging into your skin, gripping you like a lifeline.

And in that moment—fuck the rules.

Because this was anything but clinical now.

You pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, letting your breath fan against his ear as you whispered, gentle, teasing.

“You gonna give me a baby, Joel?”

Joel let out a wrecked groan, his grip on your hips tightening, his pace faltering. His thrusts turned rougher, sharper, his body moving on pure instinct now—chasing it.

And then he snapped.

A strangled moan ripped from his throat as he slammed deep, burying himself to the hilt, his cock pulsing inside you as heat flooded you. His whole body shook, a ragged, guttural sound tearing from his chest as he came, thick and hot, spilling deep, his fingers flexing against your hips like he was trying to ground himself.

You gasped at the feeling, at the warmth spreading inside you, at the way his body shook above you.

Joel was panting, forehead pressed to yours, sweat damp at his hairline, his breath fanning against your lips, warm and unsteady.

For a long moment, neither of you moved.

Joel was still inside you, still filling you, his weight pressing you into the mattress, grounding you. His breath was heavy, warm against your cheek as he turned his head, his chest rising and falling against yours in slow, uneven waves.

“I should, uh…” His voice was hoarse, thick with something he wasn’t naming. He swallowed, clearing his throat as he sat up. “I should probably—”

You shifted slightly beneath him, still sensitive, still pulsing with the warmth of him inside you. Your thighs trembled, the ache delicious, spreading through you like slow heat.

“You can go,” you murmured, voice soft, a little sleepy. “I’m gonna stay here for a while.”

He hesitated as he looked down at you, your bodies still connected. 

You blinked up at him, lips curving in a lazy, satisfied smile.

“It’s said that if a woman stays lying down after, it increases the chances of conception.” You hummed, stretching slightly, body still warm and loose. “Just want to give it time to stick.”

You felt him twitch inside you, like his body had just caught up to the meaning of your words, and then he was pulling out, hissing under his breath as he eased away from you.

His heat vanished instantly, and a shiver ran through you at the sudden emptiness, the cool air replacing where he’d been pressed so solidly against you. You exhaled, tugging the covers up over yourself, shifting deeper into the mattress, letting your body sink into the afterglow.

Joel, on the other hand, was already moving, and fast.

He turned away from the bed, running a hand through his hair, reaching for his jeans like he needed them back on, needed the barrier, needed to be done with this.

“Hey,” you called softly as he stepped toward the door, one leg shoved into his pants.

He paused, turning slightly, just enough to look at you over his shoulder.

You blinked up at him sleepily, the blankets pulled up to your bare shoulders, your voice softer now. “You okay?”

Joel hesitated. Just for a second.

His hands hovered at his belt, his fingers twitching. His lips pressed together, like he was weighing his answer, like he didn’t trust whatever was sitting heavy on his tongue.

Then, he gave you a short, stiff nod. “Yeah. ‘M good.”

You hummed, unconvinced, watching the way his chest still rose and fell in uneven breaths, the lingering flush at his throat, the tension in his hands as he buckled his belt like he was fighting something.

“Okay,” you murmured, turning your head into the pillow, eyes half-lidded, “And, Joel?”

His gaze flickered back to you, hovering, like he was bracing himself.

You swallowed, shifting slightly under the blankets, warmth settling deep in your bones. “Thank you.”

Joel’s fingers twitched where they grabbed for his shirt, his throat working around something thick, something stuck. His eyes dragged over you one last time, heavy, unreadable, before he gave a single, curt nod.

“I’ll see you,” he muttered, voice rough, almost hesitant.

Then he turned, and with the sound of the door clicking shut behind him, he was gone.

[dr-paint]

Team Jackson, Choose your fighter.