#this is such a dumbass poll but i think it’s funny

[bows4tyun]

ENLIGHTEN ME - ! ⸝⸝ 강태현

୨ৎ: ""I'm a virgin, not a virgin loser, there's a difference, dumbass." taehyun spat out harshly and scoffed, "I can't believe you thought so low of me, but it's cute of you to think I was a virgin loser like you." he faked a smile, angering you a bit. of course he had to be the smart ass one. "

𓍼 paring! - knowledgeable virgin!taehyun x virgin!reader (f)

𓍼 warnings! - roomates to ?, mean dom!taehyun (he's extra mean!), sub!reader, they kinda hate each other, taehyun basically teaches reader how to fuck, ass smacking, groping, nipple play, oral (m. receiving), cum consumption, unprotected sex, slut shaming, taehyun calls reader a slut (and bitch but only once)

𓍼 lexi adds! - as the winner of the poll, here is knowledgeable virgin tyun!!! this came out a lot longer than i thought and I couldn't help but make tyun an extra mean dom!

if someone had told you that your roommate, taehyun was a virgin, you wouldn't have believed them.

he was the last person on earth that you'd think of as a virgin, but apparently you thought wrong. it wasn't until his best friend, beomgyu had told you the truth that you were in for a treat.

taehyun had invited beomgyu over without telling you, meaning you had come back from work and had a mini heart attack when you saw beomgyu's sleeping form sprawled on the small living room couch.

"taehyun!" you yelled, your voice echoing through the hall of your shared apartment.

you thought he wasn't home until you saw the upper half of his body pop out from his room, "hm?" his tone innocent as his cold yet cute boba eyes stared at your angered form.

"what is he doing here?" you questioned, your voice loud as you turn your gaze to beomgyu, not caring of waking him up from his beauty sleep.

"would you quiet it down? you'll wake him up." he spoke back sternly. you look back at taehyun, and when you do you notice something, he's shirtless.

you feel the blood rush to your cheeks as they warm up and you cover your eyes with your hands, "put some clothes on!" you say, trying to hide the very evident blush on your face.

"what's the big deal? never seen a man shirtless before? grow up." his words come out as almost teasing yet harsh and you scoff.

"I have seen a man shirtless, I just don't want to see you shirtless." the blush on your face was practically gone with the way you were talking back to him.

"what are you trying to imply, huh?" taehyun spoke as he approached you, still shirtless, a shirt in hand.

before taehyun could get too close to you, your life is saved by beomgyu, "hey taehyun, get this motor mouth out of here, im trying to sleep." beomgyu's voice sounded as tired and sleepy as he looked, his hair disheveled from all the tossing and turning.

"you heard him, get." and with that, taehyun points a finger toward the door of your room, insinuating for you to basically get lost.

"I hate you..." you mumbled under your breath as you clenched the strap of your bag tightly and stormed off to your room as told.

"the feeling's mutual, sweetie." beomgyu laughs at taehyun's response, giving him a small "good one" before adjusting his position and getting ready to fall back asleep.

you're caught off guard by the pet name he had called you and you stop in your tracks, turning your head only to an angle where you can see he back of his head, "don't ever call me that again." you threaten. and with that, the door of your bedroom is slammed shut behind you.

⸝⸝

the following day is your day off, meaning you could relax from all the hard work you had put in throughout the week.

starting off your morning slowly, sleeping a few more hours than usual until you're finally completely awake that you get a text from beomgyu:

"your yelling yesterday made me sleep really good,thanks for not kicking me out :)"

with a scoff you reply:

"don't ever scare me like that ever again, give me a heads up next time!"

to your surprise, he's quick to respond:

"okok... wanna know something funny about taehyun? you won't believe it!"

you want to respond with a "no" but curiosity gets the best of you:

"what?" "he's a virgin!" "seriously?" "yeah! can you believe it?" "not really... " "oh c'mon! it's not that unbelievable!"

with that, you don't text him back. was taehyun really a virgin? maybe beomgyu was playing a prank on you. it kind of was a bit hard to believe considering the way he acts around you, all cold and hard headed. maybe you'd ask him about it.

you were enjoying your morning bowl of cereal before taehyun walks in, his hair a mess from not brushing it out as he scratches the back of his neck lazily in his plain white tee and loose fitting pajama pants.

"is that seriously what you're having for breakfast?" he asks with attitude, sitting down with his elbows resting on the kitchen counter.

you nod, chewing your food calmly "yeah, want some?"

despite your somewhat kind offer, his response is full of disgust. "no , there's absolutely no protein in that whatsoever."

you reply back with a scoff, "does it really matter that much? you're so difficult..." you take another bite and taehyun stares at you for a few seconds, his lip twitching as if he were going to smile but stopped himself.

"oh! taehyun, I have something to ask you." you say after swallowing the last bite of your breakfast and your eyes meet with his.

he nods his head nonchalantly, "what's up?"

you're a bit nervous to ask but you anyways, "are you a virgin?"

silence.

his eyes widen and his lips part, shock evident on his face. he's speechless. after a few more silent seconds, he speaks up, "who told you that?"

"beomgyu"

"what an asshole." he said in anger "who does he think he is to tell everyone my secrets? "

you laugh nervously "secrets? so you mean it's true? you're a virgin? a loser?"

"I'm a virgin, not a virgin loser, there's a difference, dumbass." taehyun spat out harshly and scoffed, "I can't believe you thought so low of me, but it's cute of you to think I was a virgin loser like you." he faked a smile, angering you a bit. of course he had to be the smart ass one. "you act as if you're not a virgin too, except, you are a virgin loser." he argued back like his life depended on it.

and you're just as shocked as he was, if not more. "who the hell told you that?" you questioned him angrily, wanting to know the truth.

taehyun lets out a villainous chuckled to your reaction, "no one. I just had a lucky guess. but now I know that my lucky guess was right, you are a virgin loser."

There's a faint pink hue of blush is spreads across your face from both anger and embarrassment "what's the difference?" your tone of voice was loud as you shouted but taehyun didn't even flinch.

"the difference is that I know about sex, you on the other hand have probably never seen a dick before, am I right?" he was right, very right infact.

"stop talking about it!" you spoke, frustrated at how you couldn't get back at taehyun.

"calm down, sweetie" he cooed, tilting his head and smirking at the stressed look on your face, his dimple evident. "wanna help each other out?"

⸝⸝

that's how you ended up here, straddling taehyun, his hands on each of your hips as he stared into your eyes coldly.

being in such and intimate position like this with him made you nervous as you spoke, "d-do you have a condom...?"

he shrugged, "what do you think? would a virgin have condoms?"

you look down, noticing the bulge that at had grown in his pants. heat rises to your face again and you shake your head.

"exactly." he speaks with such bluntness it scares you a bit. "now stop asking dumb questions and get your clothes off."

you obey not wanting to anger him more than he already seemed. he always seemed to be in a bad mood. slowly one by one, you took a piece of your clothes off. it wasn't until you were only in your undergarments that taehyun ripped them off your body, causing you to yelp. "could you be any slower? you're making me not want to take your virginity, this is my first time too, y'know. "

you felt so weird, naked in front of him. he looked at your body as if it were nothing. he definitely didn't act like the virgin he claimed to be.

without saying anything, his pulled his white tee off his body, letting you get a better view of his shirtless form.

you couldn't deny that taehyun was attractive, but seeing him like this made him even more attractive.

"quit staring, will you? don't make this weird." soon, he pulled down his pants enough for his cock to spring out, hitting his lower stomach with a small slap. you back up a bit, his big and thick dick enough to scare you away. how on earth were you supposed to fit that monster inside of you? "why do you look so scared, hm? it's just a dick." he said nonchalantly. just a dick? was he serious?

You take a deep breath, he was right. it wasn't something to be afraid of, this was an experience almost every person on earth had, nothing new. "okay, how do I do this?"

taehyun doesn't talk, instead he guides you hips closer to his, lifting you with ease just enough for you to hover over his dick, your hands on his shoulders as you feel the ghostly touch of his thick tip lining against your tight hole.

"ready? I'll be waiting to decide if I want to be rough or gentle." he says and you nod.

you feel the burn of his thick dick stretching you out, drawing a high pitched moan out of you as your eyes screw themselves shut and your brow furrow.

taehyun lets out a soft yet low groan at the warm feeling of your gummy walls enveloping him oh so tightly. he felt like he could cum right on the spot.

you felt like you were in heaven, his dick felt so snug inside of you, his veins rubbing against your insides, and his tip brushing against your cervix lightly.

"you okay?" he spoke, his tone softer than usual and what you expected.

you mumble a small "yeah" and his lifts your hips up, half of his cock pulled out of your hole before slamming your hips down against his roughly, emmiting a loud yelp from you, "taehyun!"

taehyun only smacks your ass with a lot of force, leaving the stinging sensation to linger on your ass cheek before he does it a for a second time. "shut up, when did I ever say you could speak? greedy sluts stay quiet." his voice sounds the complete opposite of what it sounded like a few seconds ago, his demeanour changing completely.

again and again he continues to lift and slam your hips down on his cock, not giving you the right time to adjust. he gropes your ass roughly as he guides your body down up and down his shaft in a rhythmic pace.

you felt like you were going to explode from pleasure. how can anyone's first time be this good?

you were already fucked so dumb on his cock and he had barely even started. he threw his head back, his bobbing adam's apple visible from the new angle.

suddenly, you felt the strong urge to release, your first ever orgasm. you gripped taehyun's shoulders tightly, your hole doing the same with his dick, clenching around him as if it were your last day on earth. "taehyun -! I'm going to cum! ah-!"

he groaned at the feeling, smacking your ass even harder than last time, causing you to launch forward, your head resting on your shoulder as he continued his relentless and merciless thrusts.

"I said to fucking shut up! I don't want to say it again, bitch." he spat out his words like fire and you felt his hand leave your ass and start griping your breasts, squeezing the soft flesh and tweaking your sensitive nipples, leaving you to fuck yourself on his cock.

pathetic whimpers escaped past your lips, trying to keep quiet as you were told, yet it was so hard to do when his cock was hitting the right bundle of nerves over and over again.

with a smack on your ass and a loud moan of his name, you came undone on his cock, squirming at the feeling as you pant heavily.

taehyun pulls out, drawing a whine from you and he smacks your ass. he begins to stroke himself throwing his head back.

he looks at you with lustful eyes and grabs a handful of your hair, "suck." he commands, bringing your head down to the level of his cock. it's glistening with your juices and you take it into your mouth, barely able to fit it between your lips because of his girth.

you begin to suck and it doesn't take long for you to feel his warm and sticky cum shoot to the back of your throat. Your eyes widen and you look up at him with your mouth full of his cum, he's all sweaty, his bangs sticking to his forehead as he pants to catch his breath.

"swallow." he says inbetween pants and your mouth leaves his dick with a pop. when you swallow, you wipe your chin with the back of your hand, collecting the excess juices that had dripped down.

you sit up on your knees, both of you guys staring at each other from across the bed.

taehyun is the one who decides to beeak the silence

"this may or may not mean we're dating."

𓍼 taglist! - @hyunj00 (please lmk if you want to be added to my taglist!!)

reblogs are appreciated!

[mayon3sa]

: ̗̀➛ THRIFTY

Synopsis:Having to clutch up the last round of a game is frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is getting clipped by one of the team members from the other team because they died. What happens when said clip ends up going viral and people start laughing at how the dynamic between the two strangers is. Not only does it end up going viral but it also encourages new friendships to be made through it and maybe even more than just friendships.

THRIFTY : PATCH ONE ☁︎ USER BARBONIE273???

SERIES MASTERLIST ┊ ⋆ ┊V2: NAWT COOL(TBA)

Playing Valorant alone was always one of your biggest fears, even though you were a professional player and had enough experience to speak up for yourself you always fell victim to the what if thoughts during certain games. Spiraling down those thoughts always seemed impossible to let go of ; Lucky something always distracted you from venturing any further into those thoughts

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, just as you were starting to worry your phone rang making you stop what you were doing and picking up the incoming call

“Y/N hop on val i’m on stream right now girly” Jirous voice rang through your phone

“I’m setting up my stream wait, in the meantime join the discord vc”

“Girl hurry up”

“Damn bro stop rushing me i’m almost done i'm fixing my mic, I’ll join the discord when i finish up bye bye”

“Hurry up if not i’m not playing with you bye bye”

Just as you were done setting up your mic you joined the discord vc to see shindo and shinsou also on the call

“I thought you guys were streaming why are you on call” you questioned

“Ehh we got bored and decided to just chill in call and hear you guys play val” Shindo said

“50 bucks y/n throws this game” shinsou said

“Haha hilarious you asshole, you wanna talk about throwing games let's talk about your two week lose streak back to back”

“Alright bro you didn’t have to do all that, just say you’re pressed and move on i guess”

“When i see you shinso it’s on fucking sight bro, bring your boxing gloves hoe”

“Or what”

“Oh my god both of you shut up, Y/N join my party i already sent the invite”Jirous voice interrupted you and shinou’s bickering

After nearly 20 minutes of you and Jirou playing you guys were approaching the end of the game with one last match having to take place in order for you guys to win the game. Saying you were exhausted was an understatement so needing some fun in the game you held a poll on your chat asking what you should do for the last round and surprisingly majority voted to play pistol only as it would’ve been fun. And that’s exactly what you decided on doing

“We should all do eco this round, with light shields and classical pistols” You had said to your team's general voice chat

“I’m down i’m getting bored of this game either way” a girl said

“Yeah i’m also down why not” Another girl said

“I mean why not we could win this round so sure” yet another girl also agreeing with your idea

“Jirou play eco this round let’s win this last round with thrifty that would be funny as hell” You commed

“Sure”

Just as the round started you lurked around b site playing around with your raze kit and knife making markings along the walls 

“Y/N there’s someone around the corner i set up cypher traps but they have guardian one tap and you're done for” jirou commed

“Relax i have roomba with me we’ll be ight”

“Y/N says that and she’s always first to die with than damn robot” Shinso said 

“Shut the hell up bro if i miss my shots i’ll get a medium to put a hex on you”

“Girl shut up and shoot 2 of them are coming to sight” jirou commed

“Damn bro y’all on my ass i know, i got it”

As Y/N as holding down b site two enemies had entered site you used paint shells as decoy and shot two of the enemies

“2 down, i think some might be lurking mid jirou tell iso to hold mid”

“Iso IS holding down mid dumbass look at mini map”

“Well not anymore she’s dead go hold down mid i’ll rotate to a”

“Shindo do you ever think about like what if dress to impress ever added a serving cunt category like imagine someone dressed up as maddie from euphoria” shinso talked into mic

“No because honestly think about it that would make the game so much better, i NEED that category added”

“I got sage, our phoenix commed 2 in a Y/N let’s rotate”

“Bro our whole team just full on died it’s just us” jirou said as she was checking player starts

“We’re winning this with hopes and dreams bro”

“Trust, trust i’ve been practicing my aim i can clutch this watch” y/n said

Just as Y/N and jirou were holding down a sight the enemy teams yoru had teleported behind jirou, though it was a good strategy on their part jirou managed to kill them, leaving the round between the enemy chamber, you and jirou. You do have to say as smart as the chamber was for using decoys they weren’t smart enough to kill jirou, they weren’t smart enough to realized you had your ultimate so just in time when they peaked you managed to kill them

‘THRIFTY’ was all that was heard as the round ended

Not wanting to leave a sour taste on the other players you left a message you thought was nice and Whitty on general chat ‘no scope :P wp’ 

“Alright jirou i think i’m gonna hop off i need to take care of my hedgehog bye jirou bye stream I'll see you guys hopefully tomorrow at the same time as today stay safe and hydrated guys”

Meanwhile…

“I FUCKING LOST TO A RAZE WITH NO DAMN GUN HOW BRO HOW” was all that was heard through bakugos stream

“AND WHAT KIND OF NAMES IS BARBONIE273?”

“THIS HAS TO BE SOME JOKE THERE’S NO WAY BRO HOW”

Just as he managed to somewhat calm down from the anger of that match he cut the clip and uploaded the rest to twitter

A/N. AHHHHH i finally finished the first chapter im so exhausted ngl but yayyy

taglist.@twinnintwink , @sara4uuu , @captainshindo , [open just ask to be in it :))]

[mblue-art]

Sorry for that question but I really curious!

What made you fell in love with Cross and Lust?

Tell us more!!

😳😳😳 hhuh what rreally,, , ,,, 😳 u wanna hear me yap abt my sillies, my beloveds,,, (i appreciate the enthusiasm tho omg 🥺🫶🫶🫶)

i want to have the yuris with lust and the yaois with cross I I MEAN HWHWAT 🧍‍♂️

UM.

haha anyWAY,, (oh gog this ended up long)

🍫—

cross checks so many boxes for me it makes me go insane. too good to be true. versatile(??)— like it's somehow way too easy to put him in Situations. (he's bf and husbone material??? just -20hp me now; that already kills me) he's. hh. gawddamn there's reasons why he won a utmv sans sexyman poll.

he's like a crush that you can't get out of your head no matter what you do, i'm so freaking down bad for him it's not even funny anymore. ever since simping for cross i have not been the same since. the man has changed me. the attraction/simp feelings hit me like a bat out of nowhere and i don't understand why it's so intense— i. hh.

,,i like when ppl make him dorky. stupidly silly (absolutely love shitpost shenanigans and would absolutely LOVE to get into silly shenanigans with him and with/without his bestie epic). fun to be around when he's deemed you as a good friend. stars, he'd give good hugs. strong, solid, and warm, the kind of hugs u don't wanna pull away from so soon. a little endearingly cringe. fanon simp cross is adorable and fun to mess around with. tsundere cross is adorable and fun to mess with. cute anxious guy under all that intimidating aloofness. when i say his smile is an absolute treasure, i mean that. his blush making him look like a grape or a glowing bulb is adorable and makes me wanna tease him more. anime protag/character vibes so strong i wanna have a cute bl/shoujo manga romance with him type shit yk.

then there's times when he's The Hot Dude and i think it's illegal if he's all confident and smug and dom actually (/hj) cause that makes me wanna fucking fite him HELLO? SIR? ILLEGAL????? (<- the fight or flight response of a tsundere towards a milder tsundere LOL).

-hp every single time. mf gets successful d20 rolls w/ rizz on me and i get a critical hit every time. it's a 50/50 either i fluster to death and become weak or i wanna fite his dumbass

i'll. i can fight him. i'll lose but i can fight him for sure. (why is he so cool⁉️‼️💢💢💢RRRRRRR)

he makes me feel things. lots of things. (mostly fluster but when i'm feelin sooper soff i jst wanna shower his skull in keeses. ima kissy lil guy)

tired cross makes me just wanna take care of him. want him to come home to me without any worry because he thinks i'm his safe space.

when he's being stubborn i want to tell him to chill out for a little while, take a break and watch some funny stuff while drinking choccy milk or eating his fav foods and be cozy. bapping him if he's gonna try to get out of this too soon. he's gonna get the free time he deserves n relax n get cuddles n kithes.

the way he can gently hold my hand and look at me with a sincere look in his eyelights and say something genuinely affectionate feels like cupid shooting an arrow through my soul, but also feels like a balm. (a promise of loyalty and faithfulness.) (a kiss on the forehead? a cherry on top.)

well now i can't be mean to him with all the nice he's saying and doing. i just want nice things for him o(-< (even if he's a bastard sometimes lol<3 all circles back to the silly) (silly is always important)

💜—

i love lust. so so so much. the fanon interpretation of him, anyway.

(don't get me wrong, i absolutely adore the feminine slay content of lust; but am i wrong for yearning for more masc lust content?)

i like my lust sans respectful, goofy, sans-like, an absolute sweetheart, and a caring, wonderful life partner. under the flirty personality and charm(ing looks), is a sans behavior that made me fall deeper. (he makes me feel very gender too) (ohmygofd yeah no he actually makes me think of gender sometimes rauauagrrgh<3/pos). i don't have to worry about showing my cring, weird side to him, because he's also a gremlin,, o(-< he doesn't have to present himself all nice and pretty all the time (although he's always pretty in my eyes). he can be comfortably himself; with me 🥺

i want to be his safe space.

i want to see him heal and be happy and be happy with me and give him all the love i can give and care for him and make him soso happy i just want him to feel SO sosososo loved, he deserves so much more

he's the only one who's able to get a certain reaction out of me; to pull flowers out of my heart. to pull out words of love and devotion and appreciation, heart bursting with affection only for him.

for him, i would try. i would live for him. i wish someone like him (the him i've created from interpretations and headcanons) was real irl.

i want to not care i don't care if he's a gorgeous well-known person that people fawn over, or if he's a campus crush, etc.,

i want him to think i'm worthy enough to keep in his life. for him to know how special he is to me, for him to know how much i want him in my life as much as i want him to keep me in his.

my immediate reaction when i think of him is: 😊💕💜💜💜eeeee kicks and giggles and flaps hands teehee

i love him so much i get a heart-on for him (/silly but it is true sometimes; love him so much it aches (in a good way))

[lea-andres]

Either @zonicthezonecock multiplied or there's several of you commandeering THEIR option, lmao.

Okay, okay... I have to be done now, right?

I'm out of shit to poll on, right?

WRONG BITCHES SUDDEN DEATH MATCH BETWEEN THE THREE WINNERS OF THE VARIOUS SONIC MEDIA POLLS I DID

Check out the tag "lea's sonic game poll" to see all the previous polls. I threw that tag on the cartoons/movies and the comics polls as well, so we can see them all in one neat little place.

If you disagree with the results, go hold your own poll IDK. I'm just curious to see what Tumblr does with these. 🤷

[skyllion-uwu]

batman written by vivzepop

Batman: Joker I need you to fucking come with me right now

Joker: Fucking Cum? 😳 Batsy didn't I milk you enough last week!

Batman: *Blushing* Shut the fuck up you fucking slut we're going to Arkham Hotel to rehabilitate your absolutely off the fucking walls bat-fucking-shit insane ass

Hugay Strange: Thanks for bringing Joker back to Arkham Hotel Batman~

Batman: Couldn't have done it with my trusty sidedick I mean sidekick Dick (Nightwing in costume but Batman calls him Dick because funni am I right)

Dick: I wish I wasn't fucking traumatized by Batman

Batman: Shut the fuck up Dick nobody gives a fucking shitting fuck about your dumbass trauma

Dick: Okay I'll go fuck a bunch of men and women now in really fucking badly animated sex scenes (I don't even know if there's sex scenes in her stuff I'll just assume there is for this FUNNI JOKE!!!!) *Fucking leaves*

Hugay Strange: We're going to have sooooo much fun fucking rehabilitating you Joker Slut~ You could always check yourself in too Batsy~

Batman: *Sees the various sex dolls that look exactly like him in Hugay's office* I think I'm fucking good you fucking weird gayass pervert (don't worry it's not homophobic because he's totally bisexual we'll just never show it on screen)

Hugsy Strange: If you change your mind you know where to find us Batsy~

Ace: *Comes running in and grows three times bigger because Vivzie doesn't know perspective*

[eris-snow]

𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲

Tags: gn!reader x bakugou, fluff

It's been raining a lot lately and kinda reminds me of the MHA arc the anime's currently on.

It's cold and humid and you just want to collapse the second you get back home. Currently, you were on the bus back to your house and you couldn't wait to enjoy this Friday's cosy weather and finally ditch your uncomfortable, stuffy clothes.

The bus swerves to the next bus stop, jerking back harshly as you stare unblinkingly at your phone. There isn't anything of your interest as you scroll through the latest news, but it's better than accidentally making eye contact with strangers.

The bus doors open once again to let another wave of passengers stream through as you sigh and rest your head on the poll you're hugging, wanting nothing more than to disappear.

Maybe you could treat yourself to some pizza tonight, you think, a smile grazing your lips.

This week was a rough one after all, and you'd also just finished your exams. Maybe-

"Dumbass?" A raspy voice snaps you out of your reverie as your head snaps to the voice. Red eyes clash with yours, and immediately your heart leaps when Bakugou asks, "The fuck are you doing out so late?"

You give him a wry smile. "I could ask the same thing, Pomeranian-"

You're cut off shortly by the bus jerking forward, making you launch towards him as Bakugou catches you by the shoulders. "Oi," he growls, stabling you. "No need to fall for me all over again."

You huff at his words, a blush tinting your cheeks. "Shut up, you."

It's a little sad because with all your exams, you and Bakugou haven't seen each other in a while. It didn't help that this was his first year fresh out of UA either.

Bakugou studies your expression carefully, face going soft. "How've you been?"

Your voice catches, and you suddenly forget how to talk. "U-uh, good! Good. Y-you?"

There's a chasm of awkwardness that separates the two of now, and Bakugou seems to notice it from the way you scratch your neck and laugh nervously.

"I'm coming over today."

It takes you a few seconds to realise that you didn't hallucinate him saying that. "W-What-?"

" I said I'm coming over today, Dumbass!" He repeats, flicking your forehead. "You definitely need it."

Your face heats with a searing blush. "Aren't you tired too? You've just had a full day of hero work. You must be-"

"Exhausted?" He interjected, rolling his eyes. "Damn right. But I'm coming over today. Got a problem with that?"

No, you don't.

--

He cooks you dinner that day, your favourite meal that you savour and love. Bakugou stares at you with eyes that seem to sparkle as you thank him profusely for the meal. It's better than any pizza you could have bought today.

You cuddle up close to him as he asks about your day and exams, watching you animatedly talk about your mundane life with such gusto it gets Bakugou to listen patiently.

It's funny, because even though it is freezing cold outside with the stormy rain and frostbiting weather, you've never felt warmer in his heart.

[gibbearish]

zayne is a bust, help me pick the next name to try out. propaganda and poll under the cut

for context all of these except cj were found on old english names websites so . thats why theyre so weird lmao

go back to cj: my bf thinks it fits me pretty well (funnily enough his overall opinion on it has flipped from when i first started using it lmao), my issue is that id still have to figure out what to make it stand for. he suggested "cool joke" and i gotta be real with yall im extremely fucking tempted. esp bc i could make my last name Dude. i could legally be Cool Joke Dude.

Erskine: felt weird at first but ive warmed up to it, esp bc when i ran it by friends they were like "what. what is that doing in my brain. what does that remind me of" and when i went "did it conjure a ferret" they were like ?!?!?!?!? YES THAT EXACTLY????? HOW DID YOU KNOW?????? anyways turns out most people are familiar enough with the word "ermine" to associate it with ferrets but not quite enough to remember the word so like. my name could literally be a spell that conjures ferrets in peoples brains without them knowing why.

Llewellyn: full disclosure that i think it sucks but like. in a hilarious way. you know how it's supposed to sound but without fail it takes a second to say out loud. you have to rev up before you can actually get into it. theres such an unnecessary amount of Ls. saying it feels like wading through knee deep water. its so funny

Ravinger: sounds like ravenger. what more is there to say

Tranter: like. i mean. cmon. "hi i'm tranter. tranny for short." / "what's tranny short for?" "cuz ive got little legs:(" LIKE?????

Horst: HORST????? H O R S T???????? i could be HORST?????? thats so funny. thats SO FUNNY. also the website said after it stopped being used as a first name, it became german slang for an unintelligent person. so like. it sounds like horse and is also german for dumbass. thats so fucking funny

Leofwine: i have no idea how this is supposed to be pronounced and neither has anyone ive showed it to, and it is /extremely/ funny watching them try to figure it out. and i could just do that all the time

Wigstan: so i figure its supposed to be pronounced wigstin (which is funny on its own bc winston overwatch) but fuckin. wig stan. wig stan???? wig stan.

Puck+Dex: gotta be honest idk how i feel abt these ones but one of my friends was p into em so figured i should include em just in case

Eoforwine: i think currently my personal favorite of these, i think its pronounced yo fur win which means the nickname would just be Yo, and i dont Like the concept of names in general so my nickname just being 'hey you' would be p nice, and the website said the name itself means "boar friend" which fucks

[rulers-of-hungary-tournament]

Final Result(s)

The time has come, lads and lasses! It's been a number of weeks, but we finally have our Ultimate King of Hungary (before Mohács). And who is that amazing, unparalleled ruled that has absolutely trounced every opponent (in these polls, that is)?

It's him. Of course it's him, who did you think was going to win this one, III.András?!

Anyway, we also had two bonus polls, and we'd be remiss if we didn't also mention their winners.

First off, there was the Anti-Habsburg Antiking contest. We decided to do away with the Bethlens and Bosckais (sorry to all the Bethlen, Bocskai, the other Rákoczi and Thököly stans out there) and instead just straight up pit the two most iconic candidates against each other. As a result, Rákoczi Ferenc and his moustache trounced Szapolyai János - and I don't suppose any of the others would fare better, though it would be funny to see Thököly get, like, zero votes. Anyway, we might do something with that somewhere down the line. For now, congrats, Ferenc, you're the best alternative we ever had to the Habsburgs.

The second poll was in our opinion more well-constructed, and also asked better questions: namely, who is the TRUE father of the Hungarian nation? That one was pretty decisively won by Árpád (other options included Levedi, Álmos, I.István, "nationalism wasn't invented yet, dumbass", and Other). Painting by Feszty Árpád, from around 1900, just to rub it in that "nationalism wasn't invented yet" was in fact the correct option. (Kidding. Unlike the Hungarian government of the 19th century, we are not in fact in the business of dictating people their national identities - if y'all say Árpád is the Father of the Nation, I believe you.)

But to be honest, I am not quite ready to part with this sideblog quite yet. So before I send you on your merry way, I have one last question for y'all...

[mosthuggableffxiv]

"Didn't Quite Make It" Poll

Propaganda (including the Estinien rant I alluded to a while back, which is probably the outside edge of allowable propaganda) and images below.

Erik: "talks down to the wol constantly, assumes they're an unintelligent musclehead, preaches to his fellow ala mhigans about the 'correct' way to rebel against garlemald in a similar tone, generally kind of a massive dickhead through the majority of the questline"

Estinien: "I HATE HIS STUPID GUTS. “OHHHH IM THE AZURE DRAGOON. THE ONLY AZURE DRAGOON!” BITCH NIDHOGG’S EYEBALL COULDNT RESIST ME AND MADE ME THE SECOND AZURE DRAGOON. BUT DO YOU TELL ISHGARD? DO YOU EVEN TELL YOUR BESTIE AYMERIC? NO. I BEAT YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU HAVE THE GALL TO CASUALLY BRING UP THE TIME YOU TRIED TO KILL ME LIKE ITS A FUNNY HAHA MEMORY. AND THEN LIKE SOME DUMBASS YOU CONVENIENTLY FORGET THAT NIDHOGG POSSESSED YOU ALREADY AND GET YOUR HANDS ON BOTH OF HIS JUICY EYEBALLS. YOU DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF OFFERING ONE TO ME! ME! THE SECOND AZURE DRAGOON WHO IS CONVENIENTLY HERE AND COULD HAVE PREVENTED YOU GETTING POSSESSED. AND ON TOP OF THAT YOU STOLE ALPHINAUD FROM ME. I WAS THERE ALONGSIDE HIM WHEN ALL OF UL’DAH WAS AGAINST US BUT INSTEAD HE LOOKS UP TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT HIM TO COLLECT FIREWOOD. THIS ISNT EVEN ALL OF WHY I HATE HIM. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PISS RAT WHO CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH MOOGLES FOR A FEW MINUTES WHILE IM BUSTING MY ASS DOING FETCH QUESTS FOR A STUPID MINION LOCKED BEHIND TRIBAL QUESTS."

G'raha Tia: "He was an annoying little shit (I love him now though. I’m so sorry G’Raha T^T)" (Note: the submitter specified that this was just for his appearance in the Crystal Tower raids and not later on)

Hancock: "Just look. At his face. He is a smug little capitalist bastard who just happens to be on our side."

Khloe: "the myth of three lines"

Krile: "Spends her first interactions clowning on Alphinaud pretty harshly and while he usually deserves it he is also my baby and I want to kick her ass for it"

Lue-Reeq: "Brags about having so much money, gives out pocket change he mooched from his parents. Whines when the WoL has a poorly-timed Echo. Prevented me from having quality time with the Bard Boys in ShB."

Radlia: "I’m gonna be honest her facial expressions are fun to imagine socking her to but I’m mostly submitting her because I feel bad for ranting about my personal vendetta against est*nien earlier. She’s a lovely heel character! Very punchable." (Note: this was the same submitter as the above Estinien rant)

Rhitahtyn: "Poor bastard. I'd say beating him isn't even fun anymore but the new solo duty is actually very cool."

The Warrior of Light: "Cause it's us"

[narutocharacterpolls]

I just saw that you were done talking about these two... buuuut I had already been enlisted to draw a comic so I really hope you don't mind! I'm still a bit out of practice so apologies for the quality.

In all honesty as much as we (and Naruto, lol) consider Sasuke an all-time fave and are bummed out he's not moving along, he probably would not give a single shit. He already knows he's the GOAT and has other things to be doing like, you know, moving the entire plot along and getting justice for his family.

In this case, though, I'd like to think he also takes some time to talk about swords with his go-to weapons expert friend, Tenten. Just for fun.

Hope you enjoy and it at least brings a smile to you. It looks like things unfortunately got a little heated.

[ID: Four fanarts of Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten sitting at a counter with the executioners blade sitting on it.

Image one: Tenten comments in a tiny bubble, “Ooh awesome blade” Sasuke asks Tenten, “So you’re a weapons expert and Suigetsu here is a dumbass, I was wondering if…” Sasuke gets cut off by a loud spiked speech bubble coming from off screen, an unseen Naruto yells, “Sasuke!”

Image two: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten now pause, silent, looking up in shock inferably towards Naruto.

Image three: a panel of just Naruto, clutching his chest and crying as he holds his phone and says, “Oh my god you lost the best character poll, Sasuke! I can’t believe it!”

Image four: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten return their focus back to themselves and Sasuke says, “Anyways…” Suigetsu notes “Lol” and Tenten sweats with a nervous smile. END ID]

WOW!! YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB! They all look wonderful, and it’s so so awesome you made a whole comicccc this is so funny I’M SO ASTOUNDED AND IMPRESSED YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

I absolutely don’t mind sharing any creative pieces you guys have made, I love spreading your talent! As always if I did miss one of your artworks or writings please let me know! That poll was crazy and my notifications were never ending, so it’d have been easy to miss one if I was tagged during that!

[very-uncorrect]

funny how i never thought of poly/polyam people and aroacespec people (respectively) as anything but another sexuality equal to all the rest until i found out that there was actual discourse over it. as someone whose sexuality has fluctuated during different periods of my life and has experienced both aroacespec and poly/polyam relationships/tendencies, it’s just disheartening to see that there are genuinely people out there who think they don’t count or that they’re not valid as a sexuality, or part of the LGBTQ+ community, or any sort of discourse that’s been started over it. i stand by my decision that everyone, and i do mean EVERYONE, is included in the LGBTQ+ community, except for homophobes. (on that note, i do believe people who are by definition LGBTQ+ but choose to discriminate against other forms of sexuality do not count as part of the community, as the community in itself is about acceptance.)

grow up, people.

REAL, I agree with all of this basically

Aspec people have been shat on for yeaars and it seemed to cool down for awhile before there was like some Tumblr poll about it and a bunch of aphobes came out of the woodwork. The poly bigotry has been real strong for the last few weeks and that seems to be a bigger thing on Twitter than on here from what I've seen, which doesn't particularly surprise me because Twitter is the closest thing we have to a real-life actual Hell

I was also surprised when I saw people starting to make fun of them everywhere online because I'd always just viewed them as identities that made perfect sense. No romantic and/or sexual attraction? Yuh that's an identity 👍🏳️‍🌈. Wanting multiple partners? Yeye that too 👍🏳️‍🌈. But some people insist that they're not valid for any of their dozens of shitty reasons and it's mad, like some people insisting being aspec is the same as straight which is?? Huh??? How do you reach that conclusion???? At all??????

I also do agree that there's a difference between being LGBTQ+ and being part of the LGBTQ+ community, because the word "community" implies, just like you said, acceptance, getting along, not participating in dumbass infighting wars that don't at all matter when bigots will hate all of us which is why we need to stand together as a community in the first place, and is why pride exists in the first place

Seeing any identity that isn't genuinely bad (aka those times when pedos and zoophiles tried to become identities, kicking out those bozos is common sense, MAPs and zoos fuck off and die obvi) being excluded is horrible,

I'll reiterate what you said happily

Grow up, people

[femmesandhoney]

The reviews for that What about Men book are so ridiculous. Just women claiming she wasn’t sympathetic enough to males and men insulting her for attempting to write about their perspective. It’s such an embarrassing book to write in the first place (it’s like saying ignore the victims of a serial killer and focus on the murderer and and his poor feelings? lol dumbass) goes to show that no matter what even when you kneel to them like a slave they’ll shit on you lol

You got me to go read reviews of that and also one of her first books, How To Be a Woman, and it seems she has a consistent problem of just never actually doing research or presenting anything of depth in her work. I'm not shocked at all because she wasn't formally educated and is a journalist who mostly seems comfortable in her memoir and comedic elements than actual social commentary or research.

I saw both men and women give actually pretty accurate reviews of the book even if I disagreed w certain claims or base values, she really doesn't present deep research of any kind and just sorta talks at length about anything she thinks is interesting on twitter and some men she knows personally, which is a wild basis for writing a book. What's funny to me is that actual social researchers would tell you social media is a fine place to collect data if you know what your research question is and the groups your looking into, there's an overabundance of data at your fingertips to catalogue! But nah, that's too much work and she has no social science training, so I imagine this would seem boring or tedious to her when she could just poll her followers (i still cannot believe she did "research" this way).

The book and its general thesis are obviously a very libfem basis of feminism and the way you have reviews upon reviews claiming dif things is crazy to me😭 if you don't coddle men the entire time, you're too women focused and forgetting about equality. You coddle them, well, you should have always included us in your feminism from the get-go. You snooze you lose, we hate you still for this. Like okay, she can not win here.

I kinda wanna find a PDF file and read this shit myself to see wtf she is doing to make both men and women so upset equally and get everyone to have such dif takeaways lol, it's kinda magical of her i won't lie. Coming from an author who seemed shocked to consider speaking to girls to find out how girls are fairing, I still wasn't expecting such a confusing oeuvre from this woman.

[dreamnotnapss]

✨ Voting for the Ship Awards has commenced! ✨

links to the polls are provided below! please be respectful to everyone participating, have fun, and reach out if you have any questions :)

please note that if there's a sweep for almost all of the polls, the affected polls will be redone. this is simply to ensure an equal playing field since this is not meant to be a popularity contest. hope that's alright :) thank you!

✨ General ✨

Ship with the best height/size difference

Ship with the most "idk what they got going on but it sure as hell ain't heterosexual"

Ship that should kiss

Ship you didn't realize was a thing

Ship with the most iconic jewelry associations/clothing swaps

Ship with the cutest touches

Ship with the fondest looks

Most underrated ship

I think it'd be funny if they had a thing ship

Ship with the most moments that made you go "HUH?"

Ship you used to be indifferent to but now like

Hottest ship

Ship that won Antarctica

Ship that won Amsterdam

Ship that won San Diego

Ship that won the UK

Dream SMP ship that scratches your brain

Squid Craft ship that scratches your brain

MCC ship that scratches your brain

Manhunt ship that scratches your brain

✨ AUs ✨

Best ship for Enemies to Lovers

Best ship for Childhood Friends to Lovers

Best ship for Hook-Up to Accidental Relationship

Best ship for Secret Relationship

Best ship for Royalty AU

Best ship for Soulmate AU

Best ship for Florist/Tattoo Artist AU

✨ Ship Dynamics ✨

Dumbasses in love

Voice(s) of reason + Dumbass(es) in love

Partners in crime

Opposites attract

Power couple/polycule

Chaotic + Shy

Chaos incarnate

Protective + Too sweet for their own good

Unrequited love

Inseparable to the point where they are the same person

✨ Popularity Contest ✨

Best ship

Best Dream ship

Best George ship

Best Sapnap ship

Best Karl ship

Best Quackity ship

Best Punz ship

Best Foolish ship

[gaycrittercentral]

I would love to see your ideas!

AAA ok you’re the only one that asked but I wanna post em anyway myehehehhe

So!! Here’s some AUs that I have descriptions but not fics drafted up for, if there’s any y’all might like to see feel free to vote for them :> here’s some summaries:

Titanic AU where Sam and Max win a ticket to the ship instead of Jack, immediately adopt Rose, and proceed to teach her the ways of comic mischief and goblinery before almost drowning shfhshdhs

305 but the Maxlings are there and develop a psychic power each to help Sam save their dad :’D this one’s not as fleshed out, more like concepts that I enjoy thinking about

This one’s a little out of nowhere but I used to love Fatal Frame, so I have one based on Crimson Butterfly bc that game made me crazy as a teenager lmao. Sam and Max get lost in a bizarre, haunted village where Max gets possessed by a vengeful spirit and they have to resort to unusual, photography-related means to get her to fuck off

Ok ok hear me out. Instead of brothers who get mistaken for a couple, a couple who occasionally get mistaken for brothers. AKA Supernatural gets really really funny when you swap out Sam and Dean for a pair of gay animals who only know how to argue for the bit and solve every problem with cartoon shenanigans gdjdhjsgsjdhsbs (also we sub out Cas for Superball, angel of the door LMAOOOO)

‘Nother video game idea, anybody remember Beyond: Two Souls? Just me? Anyway AU based on that where Sam has been haunted by his mischievous little pal ever since they were too young to remember, leading them to be studied and used by the CIA and hurled into battles to keep the real world and the afterlife separate. Comes with about a million different endings, a la the original game!

And lastly, a 305 AU where they manage to shrink Max down and dampen his psychic energy instead of nuking him, giving Sam more time to try to turn him back to normal. Entirely based on the thought that being saved by the power of love would piss Max off lmaoooooo OOP wait not entirely I just remembered I was really inspired by this piece from @bitterartregret!! Super cute go check it out ^^

I love all of these dearly and would be honored if anybody wanted to hear about them :’) If you like more than one, then A) I’m screech and B) vote for the one you’d rather see first!! Ok here’s the poll have at it should thou wish’st to behold

(Also there’s a good chance I’ll end up posting most if not all of these eventually \_:)_/ I just think they’re fun)

[ahsokazworld]

Incoming political rant, so choose to ignore if you want:

Im utterly disappointed and disgusted with the fascist racist people voting for our nr. 1 right winged part PVV (party for the freedom) in my country after showing that while trying to form our government (biggest party there aswel), that this party doesn't give a shit about you either.

I think we can safely say we are no longer the front runners in anything Queer liberating if we as a country en masse vote for this anti-immigrant anti-gay, anti-trans, pro-putin, pro-israel (kinda funny that but oh well) anti working class, lying immoral racist fascist party.

I'm so SO tired of working class people voting for that party and then thinking he's gonna help. You're a f*cking dumbass and it shows.

These are not official results, they are exit-polls but they are usually very very accurate.

People in the rest of the EU, please vote as far left as possible because this is depressing.