#Maria is just like wtf did you do to my husband

[hyrules-warrior]

When Joel and Ellie return to Jackson Tommy finds himself reconnecting with his brother again. A large part of him thought he never would, after so much of Joel died with Sarah. But this potty mouthed QZ kid has brought his brother back to him.

They quickly grow close again, bickering, joking, small pranks. Joel becomes a huge source of reassurance when Tommy panics about if he is able to be a good father, and how to care for a baby.

This day starts out just like any other, but Maria has decided Tommy needs to get out of the house and away from her for awhile. His constant doting is appreciated but it is getting stifling so she recruits Joel into taking Tommy out on a hunt with him and Ellie.

The hunt goes well. Tommy finds himself relaxing, all three of them are joking and having a good time.

Until a stray runner comes flying out of the bushes, attracted to their laughter. 

The fight is quick and nothing serious but Joel took a bit of a tumble with the thing after pushing Tommy out of the way and ends up with a nice cut on his head and of course blood everywhere as head wounds always bleed like crazy.

Unfortunately this new cut is right on his scar from a certain “flinch moment” all those years ago and when Tommy turns to look at his brother after getting up from where he was pushed he sees the blood at that location and...

He looses his mind. Suddenly it’s the day after outbreak day again, the day after he was too slow to stop a man from killing his niece. The day he was too slow again and Joel ends up bleeding from a failed attempt.

Tommy freaks out, tries to apply pressure to the wound, starts begging his brother to stay with him, apologizing for not being fast enough, crying and hyperventilating.

Joel is completely overwhelmed with his brother’s panic, he was so shut down back then that he really doesn’t remember what happened after and if Tommy freaked out like this then.

Joel works to calm and comfort Tommy. Grabs him and hugs him tight. Tries to soothe him with quiet words and hushes. It takes awhile, a long while before Tommy finally calms. Even longer before he can let Joel go. They head back to Jackson hunt abandoned and Joel lets Tommy take him to the clinic. Seeing the wound treated and knowing it’s not anything severe finally settles Tommy down completely. 

Maria is not impressed when they get home though. What the heck happened out there? 

[kamelpferd]

THE MAGNIFICENT 7

I am bored and so fucking tired. I don't want to go to school because I am failing. Anyways, here is this.

kill me please

Introducing: the boys

by: me

just do me a favor and imagine this as a funny Tik Tok or so idk.

1. Jack Horne

lives in the mountains

would and will stab you multiple times if you are mean to him

unlock his tragic backstory

prays to the Lord every day

feminist

hungry af

violent but only if the Lord approves

funny voice

had a wife and kids once

prays only little prayers for people that don't deserve big prayers

cute laugh

a bear in peoples clothes

did kill many indigenous people for money but is a changed man

big softy

probably gives the best hugs

my sisters favorite

dies a tragic death

2. Red Harvest

hates white people food

speaks white man english, but decides not to

will kill you if you are a bad person

befriends you only if you eat the heart of a deer

has a different path than most people from his tribe

better than Merida

nice horse

very much very adorable if he likes you

doesn't ask questions - will help you with whatever

would show you his culture

also one of my sisters favorites

both of my parents' favorite

survives yay

3. Vasquez

smart enough not to drop his first name

would not tell you what it means in spanish if you asked him a word

mexican tm

is not a texican

calls you guero if he likes you

scared of taking responsibility

has 3 Marias (bitches)

eating habits worse than a pig (means both his hands are dirty when he eats with a spoon)

smokes and drinks because he can and he will

funny as fuck

probably in love with Faraday

would let him eat me out ngl

has no family or friends

his head is worth 500$ for killing some important guy

gun skills 100

doesn't care if you don't understand him, he will still talk in spanish

would be a great father ngl

I love him very much

stands a bit weird every now and then

still hot tho

survives yay

4. Goodnight Robicheaux

'What we lost in the fire-'

has PTSD

it keeps going on, and on, and on-

best sharpshooter alive istg

can shoot you even if he doesn't see you

definition of the word gentleman

respects everthing and everyone

heavy drinker

adorable and kind

southern charm has me weak

has the biggest puppy eyes

literally perfect human being

love him more than my own life

would marry him without hesitation

is baby - will always be baby

gets angry if you keep being a bitch

would not lay hand on you tho

stronger than he thinks

dubbed 'the angel of death'

23 confirmed kills at antietam

he is a legend

but that is not all he is

everyone fears him even tho he is such a nice person

Faraday kinda not likes him idk

he is not a coward

oh so french he could be a baguette (wtf)

speaks french fluently

would call you 'ma chére'

would kiss your hand as a greeting

has trouble killing people since he came back from war

bffs with Billy

but I think they had sex at some point

thinks an owl followed him and told him he would die a ghastly death

heard a voice

an old friend of Sam Chisolm

would support every decision you make

would randomly call you pretty

husband material

would play along as fuck if you'd try to mess with somebody

can be hillarious

the voice of an angel

can sing very well and play the piano

Aura Lee <3

god he is so hot

he knows all the shit

read like every book existant istg

Did I already say that I literally love him?

his death breaks my heart every time

5. Sam Chisolm

'-we'll find in the ashes.'

duly sworn warrant officer of the Circuit Court in Wichita Kansas

also licenced peace officer in the Indian Territory Kansas Nebraska and seven other states

shoots you without you noticing it

Dad of the group

old friend of Goodnight

would eat a deers heart if offered for a befriending ritual

nice laugh

justice is worth more than life

everything matches with black, even his horse

wants revenge for his family

had a sister

'Hell I don't know. Avenge me?'

very understanding

would tell you he is proud of you as if he was your father

would kill hundreds of people just to help you out

righteous and honorable

plans everything

leader person

would help you get out of a shitty situation

can't do speeches

doesn't drink or smoke

will accept you no matter what you do (except if you kill his family then not)

bounty hunter (if money on your head high enough, he will want to kill you)

good man

a little awkward sometimes but he is cool

dope scar on his neck

nice fuzzy moustache

probably slept with Goodnight

survives yay

6. Joshua Faraday

him and I are very similar

'you're just a little bit too much like me'

his dick does all his thinking

still probably packin' tho

gives you shooting lessons you never asked for or wanted

he shows off a lot

so proud of himself

'Guero'

something about Goodnight bothers him

doesn't know what a syllable is

there is no forgiveness for men like him

so has a crush on Vasquez istg

horse name Jack

will make fun of you no matter what

drunk 24/7

traded his horse for Whiskey and would probably trade you too

homophobic gay vibes

always been lucky with one-eyed jacks

has a wife called Ethel (his gun)

and a sidechick called Maria (his other gun) which is not Vasquez' Maria

plays poker like a pro and shows you card tricks to get your attention before he just shoots you

funny as fuck

will flirt with you, your sister and your mother. Probably even your granny

never had a relationship before istg

probably cries after sex

bottom who thinks is a top

doesn't know how to english

probably never picked up a single book in his entire life

mommy and daddy issues

actually adorable

probably an Aries

doesn't fear death the slightest

Irish American

didn't fall from a horses ass

can't stop talking

thinks he is so cool

ladiesman

hot as fuck even tho it's Chris Pratt

would fuck him

'worlds greateat lover'

gets shot multiple times but still alive and slaying the runway - dies later on

last thing he wanted to do in his life was to have a good smoke

always wanted to blow something up (ends up blowing himself up)

dies a tragic hero death

7. Billy Rocks

mysterious chinese guy

can and will kill you with a hairpin

Goodnights sidekick

knows how to handle knives

probably has a knifekink

so in love with Goodnight it's getting embarrassing

majestic hair ong

doesn't talk a lot

usually doesn't drink (only when Goodnight left)

natural beauty

very adorable and kind

would always comfort you

good boi

very small, very much baby, but always there for Goodnight

small but stabby

the skills he had omg

kills racists (don't rip Arcade)

probably fucking with you atm and you don't even know it

once fought a whole salloon bare knuckled and won

not a man to arrest

a man to befriend

would take a fag and kiss you to blow the smoke into your mouth - very erotic

would call you 'beautiful' as a nickname

very attractive

handsome boi

amazing laugh

earns money for killing people in shooting games

bffs with Goodnight

they fucked at one point tho

my 10 yr. old cousins favorite

eats with his hands only, and still cleaner than Vasquez, who eats with a spoon

his last words were Goodnights name

dies next to Goodnight

Thank you for your attention

if you have any more suggestions of things to add to this list, let me know.

Also sorry for spelling mistakes. Typing this shit with my eyes half open, but I refuse to sleep because as soon as I wake up I only have one day left before school starts again and I want to escape reality by pretending it just doesn't exist.

happens

[serceleste]

doctor strange in the multiverse of madness

Saw it a couple weeks ago! Had been really looking forward to it, for a lot of reasons. I liked it, but tbh I wanted to like it more than I actually did.

- The main issue for me was that I didn’t buy into the central premise of Wanda as the villain, post Wandavision. It’s not that I don’t believe she has the potential because she 100% does, after all, this is the same character who in the comics went “no more mutants” and in the MCU mind controlled an entire town. It’s that they didn’t convince me that the Wanda who understood the wrongs she committed in Wandavision and genuinely regretted her actions would then immediately turn around and go full ‘I don’t give a shit who I have to murder to steal this other woman’s life and her kids’. I gather the Darkhold was negatively influencing her but IMO they didn’t sell it all the way as ‘this is why, it’s not really Wanda’, and even if they had, honestly I find that a cop-out. So anyway it was hard to appreciate the movie for what it was when the whole time I was just thinking ‘this is not Wanda wtf’. Which is a shame, because I think a villain Wanda I believed in would have been great, and she certainly was pretty scary.

- But I did like a lot of parts of the movie! Especially just Stephen himself. I LOVE HIM.

- I loved America, and I loved her relationship with Stephen. So good. (And at least they kept her moms, though I’m honestly not surprised they managed to avoid yet again showing a character as LGBTQ+.)

- Wong is so great. I was about to be so fucking mad that they killed him off, in my head I was just like ‘no they didn’t no they didn’t he’s FINE’ until finally they showed him okay. Him trying to get Stephen to bow to him was the best.

- Loved the Illuminati! And what a fun way to include some AU things we don’t have in the main timeline, like Maria!Captain Marvel, and Captain Carter (CAPTAIN CARTER OH MY GOD SHE WAS SOOOOO COOL). Xavier in his hover chair! With the cartoon music! I was so surprised to see what’s his name as Reed. (I always think of him first as Emily Blunt’s husband, lol.)

- There were some really cool visuals, notably the montage where America and Stephen are moving from universe to universe. I also liked the fighting with musical notes, and Wanda fighting through reflections.

- Zombie Strange was fucking weird but I liked it.

- I think they used Christine well, and I believed that Stephen genuinely loved her but couldn’t figure out how to be with her, and I believed in her importance to him. I really liked the last scene of him and the other universe’s Christine together, where he finds a sort of closure and peace.

- Also loved Stephen being faced with all the other Stephens’ bad choices, and then being able to make better ones himself, even to the point of saving America when she herself was at peace with that not happening. I got a little teary when he helped her find her own control.

- And for all that this way of doing villain Wanda didn’t work for me, I still cried when Billy and Tommy were scared of her and she realized she had become their monster. That really got me.

- I want Young Avengers Billy (and Billy/Teddy!!) SO MUCH but I was still pleased to see the Wandavision versions of him and Tommy again because the child actors are so charming.

- I loved the goat dude. Glad he’s okay!!

- CLEA! CHARLIZE THERON! CHARLIZE THERON AS CLEA!!!! Oh my fucking God. I almost jumped out of my seat and cheered. Marvel, thank you for this gift, holy shit.

[onlyhereforangst]

I think Emily made the decision last minute to leave. One thing I noticed is that Katrina laws character was introduced as a mother with a stay at home husband in all the reports in March. Originally she was cast to replace Maria Bello so she did not need to be a potential love match for Torres. I think in this time from when her character was first introduced in the press(March) to when she stepped foot on set Emily made the decision to leave.This is why the writing team changed the premise of Jessica Knight to form a replacement for the Ellick ship because it was at this time they knew it wouldn't be happening anymore as Emily would be leaving. Thus, they decided to make Jessica knight a possible love match for Torres to replace the void from Ellick. It seems to be too much of a coincidence and also her first episode her and Torres were very flirty. Also, Wilmer did a ton of interviews about the finale saying grab your tissues and this is the closest to a friendship or a relationship they are ever going to have so he hinted prior to the finale that the Ellick ship was doomed. It is driving me mad that we had no clear picture of what their relationship was after the elevator talk. I think they got together as Ellie said 'I never meant for us to happen' but then she felt guilty because she knew she was leaving and 'blew him off' as he said without reason. That seems to be the most logical assumption. What do you think?

ok so i've let this sit for two weeks, i apologize. i still have a hard time digging into this stuff specifically because i like to live in denial that Emily isn't returning. i can bargain the remainder of the finale away if i forget that Emily isn't coming back. but i'm having a particularly depressive day in regards to her exit so why the hell not twist the knife a little harder and clear out my inbox 🙃 imma put it under the cut though for aesthetically-appeasing dash purposes and long posts

first- i 100% agree that Emily's decision to leave was a last minute *announcement* and i clarify that because i have to genuinely believe that Emily wouldn't take this decision lightly knowing her fanbase. i of course could be wrong about that, but even if i come off as a bitch to people i do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, always. so while I do think Emily didn't come into this decision willy-nilly (and i'm not going to speculate on her reasons for leaving- it's her own life she can choose to live it however she pleases), it does feel as if she didn't announce it to the show until, IMO after they wrapped all filming.

the finale was certainly more akin to a multi-episode arc for a character and plotline, not a final exit episode. Wilmer boasted great cliffhangers and a tear-filled episode because yes, they thought Ellie was ditching and betraying the team- that's heavy angst stuff! And yes we got a taste of ellick being *real* and even got a kiss- of course in his interviews he thought this was going to be good stuff for the fans. all the actors (Wilmer especially though) and the main social media accounts of the show did a shit-ton of promotion for the episodes leading up to the finale and then after 18x15 aired, the week prior everyone and i mean everyone went radio silent. i'm sorry but who THE FUCK does that when you are supposedly airing this big action-filled, cliffhanger, "true" finale that we deserved because s17 didn't get to have one??? NO ONE. the answer is no one. shows that want ratings (aka all shows, it’s a business) promote their fucking finale. they fucking do. my theory? in between that last week, Emily announced to the cast/crew/EPs that she wouldn’t be returning for s19. and then that leaves them with a WTF finale because that’s a shitty write off for a character who spent 8 years on the show. and now, suddenly, the show would prefer as little as viewership as possible to help minimize the backlash. Wilmer does absolutely zero promotion, zero farewell to his co-actor and good friend of 5 years. so yeah, i think her last minute exit was a last minute announcement and it had everyone reeling, understandably. hopefully one day we’ll get answers on the why because between me and you- that’s what absolutely fucking destroys me. for both the actress and the character; not knowing why Ellie did what she did and feeling a little betrayed Emily left and we got so little why and acknowledgement and heads up for it. 

anyways, so i don’t think Wilmer was lying in those interviews, i think he was truly excited about the arc and what that meant for their characters. he could have been just as blindsided with her announcement as we were 🥺

as for Katrina Law’s character- that is a little intriguing because you’re right, when she was initially introduced it was as a married woman with an infant child and stay at home husband. zero of this has been mentioned and Katrina Law herself has taken to twitter with Diona to support a Kasie/Jessica ship. so i’m not sure what her background is, if they writers changed it at all or what. BUT i don’t see them putting Jessica and Nick together. I actually didn’t see those scenes as them flirting at all- more of falling into step as good pals, very reminiscent of Ziva and Nick’s relationship frankly. If Emily’s announcement of her leaving truly was last minute, to everyone including the show, I don’t see the writers and EPs putting them together. I see them scrambling to fix their destroyed cliffhanger arc they had teed up and likely writing a desolate Nick or a vengeful swan Nick. I do not see them giving him a new love interest *unless* they decide to go 2 for 2 with character assassinations and have him regress so far and erase all his growth. but you know who the fuck knows with this shit show 🥲🥲

ok and finally ahaha this is why i did a cut. can y’all imagine what will happen if/when i ever do a wwr? 😅 i’m in the boat that they were *not* a thing, ever. i’m in the boat that that was their first kiss. and i’ll probably break this down more at a later date, TBD because when the fuck will i be strong enough to rewatch the entire finale i almost cried this morning watching 13x10. BUT her “i didn’t mean for us to happen” to me was more of a i didn’t mean for us to slowly fall in love and go from partners to best friends to almost lovers. because i think they both acknowledged their feelings during The Talk™️ but i feel like they both mutually agreed that they needed to take it slow or weren’t sure how to take that next step and they sort of tabled the discussion and stalled in their relationship. then, (since i’m in the camp that Ellie did none of this fully willingly, and instead Odette is holding something over her) Ellie “blew him off” after Odette decided it was now (”now...wasn’t my choice” aka i think Odette got worried about Ellie having strings attached and weaknesses) by saying they should definitely take it slow because of the nature of their jobs (”if we had a normal 9-5″...”i get that, i do”). i think Nick accepted that excuse at the time and then when the pieces clicked at the end of the finale, he realized this whole stupid ass mission was the reason she tried to slow them down/push him away. all that to say, i’m still believing that was their first kiss until Ellie turns up pregnant with Nick’s kid because WHY NOT REUSE OLD STORYLINES WHY THE FUCK NOT WE’VE ALREADY COME THIS FAR. 

[winged-fool]

So I have returned with head canons and a Deep Sky conspiracy thought that Roswell will definitely shoot down in an episode or two. But first because I am secretly a trash goblin. I definitely need Jones reaction to Malex and finding out Alex is a Manes. Because imagine it. Your wife(girlfriend? Baby mama?) is on Earth for five minutes before she has a soul mates connection with a Manes man and falls in love with him. Then 70 years later your son falls in love with the great nephew of the man your wife left you for. At some point your going to start wondering if Manes Men are cat nip for aliens.

🧡 I’m riding the Malex high with this head canon. But in the nebulous well adjusted future where they are married with kids. I think most of their friends would assume Greg is the favorite uncle because “Greg is a teacher, he’s great with kids” and they’d all be surprised to find out Flint is their favorite uncle. They love that he treats them like small adults and doesn’t infanalize them but he also tells the best stories and gives the best hugs(besides their daddies) and he’s always down to do arts and crafts with them and will always give them his utmost and most serious attention when they are telling him stories it doesn’t matter if it’s about a bully at school or a dog they saw when out on a walk. He treats each story with equal importance and gives them all of his attention

🧡 Flint is the one who walks Alex down the aisle, and Isobel walks Michael. Flint will never admit it but he did cry when they were pronounced husbands and he doesn’t care what Isobel says. He was not crying he had something in his eye

🧡 so definitely not a Flint head canon and definitely more wishful thinking than anything. But after the little moment of Alex telling Michael that he’s a chip off of Nora’s block and not Jones. I want Alex to introduce Michael to Mindy and them to have a parallel conversation where Michael tells Alex that he’s a chip off of Mindy’s block and not Jesse’s

🧡 this also isn’t a Flint head canon but more so me manifesting things for Malex into existence. But when they get married their rings are silver and have the alien turquoise in them because it honors both of their heritages. Michael makes their rings

🤡 Ramos may be the current director of Deep Sky but I STRONGLY doubt that he was the original Director and founder. But I bet I know who was. Tripp mother fucking Manes.

🤡 I’m willing to bet money that Tripp being the original director of Deep Sky is how they knew about the Lockhart machine, since 50 years prior Tripp still would have been working on project shepherd and I bet Deep Sky was behind the fire at Caufield in the 80s that destroyed most of the records about Patricia Deluca while also giving them the info they needed for their own agendas

🤡 I’m thinking Tripp recruited Ramos the way he was trying to recruit Jesse

Man this post got out of hand. I apologize for the early morning rambling at you 😂🍤🍤🍤

Omg I had this in my drafts and completely forgot about it! Sorry about that, my friend!!

OH MY GOD I love the idea of Jones just being like wtf is UP with these Manes men??? I love this headcanon just so much, thank you for sharing!

Ahhh I love Flint just being the absolute best uncle, yes I love it! Plus Gregory Simp Manes would be too busy simping after Maria anyway to be a good uncle to the kiddos 😜

Omg I would love that parallel so much! I just want to meet Mindy, find out what her deal is!

Silver and turquoise rings!! I love it!!

Ooooh I love the idea that Tripp started Deep Sky! That'd be interesting especially being like a double agent with Caulfield! I really hope we get to hear more of the history of Deep Sky and Ramos' role in it!

No need to apologize, I always enjoy your asks!!

[cynicaldesire]

So what are your thoughts on season 4? Lay them on me!

My husband and I binged the entire Season 4 over the course of the weekend. We watched 6 episodes, then the last 4. We had a lot of feelings on it for a lot of reasons, mostly because I’m a writer, my husband is an artist, and we’re both critics because we have created work in the past.

My husband’s final rating was 6/10, wouldn’t watch it again but he wanted to give credit to the animators and staff that worked on it. I said I would give it a 4/10. It was so... disappointing. I’m gonna go on a bunch of rants about why I was displeased, so if you want to maintain your positive experience, you don’t have to continue.

So, before I get into the writing, I just want to point out that the sound design, music, and voice acting were all either poorly mixed because of COVID in-home booths or just shitty. The music didn’t pop off with any homages to actual game music and I couldn’t hear it most of the time. The voice acting of most of the cast was pretty great, but I hate Alucard’s voice. The murmuring breathy whispers of most of the cast is just annoying to me, but that’s a personal preference, I know. But a lot of other things didn’t have proper weight or punch to match what was happening.

The animation was also wildly inconsistent. My husband pointed out, again, COVID, so the animators were all probably working from home on deadlines and the Art Director, the guy meant to keep all the art on-model and consistent, probably wasn’t available to check work and send it back to the animators for changes. Or, there wasn’t sufficient time between when the animators sent there work in for changes to be requested. Don’t get me wrong, like with the voice cast, some of the animation was fucking sick, but it was just weighed down by all the poorly masked 3D shortcuts or off-model art.

(One of the things I kept thinking of when gore would happen was the Mortal Kombat devs that got PTSD from having to look at images of gore for the Fatalities. And I was like this isn’t worth all that. Fuck.)

Greta was fine, but she seemed flat. I’ve made her character before and been disappointed in how cool and nonchalant she is. She seems to be too good and relaxed at everything going on. That might’ve been the voice actor, but honestly? She fell flat for me. I didn’t not like her, she just didn’t feel very... well written? Like I said, she reminded me very much of a character I would make at first pass. And while I don’t mind or disagree with the choice to make her a love interest or even a close friend of Alucard, there was not enough buildup for it. Probably because she felt so flat to me.

Overall, on the writing front, I will say that it felt very... first draft. Like no one had an opportunity to look it over and say “Maybe don’t give Saint Germain’s whole motivation and backstory in episode 3?” Or not telegraphing the Death inclusion, or like... There’s so much that was just so poorly handled to me. There’s so many ways I personally would have done it differently or how it could’ve been handled better. There were so many characters that just stated their motivations and repeated them over and over again.

Isaac: ends last season hating humanity and having no reason to challenge that belief. Hates Hector for betraying Dracula. Full of hate and rage. This season: Opens with all his Night Creatures repairing a city, earing berries, and completely at peace with his past and his life. Flyseyes is there for ONE scene and never heard from again. And Isaac literally goes from that to invading Carmilla’s castle to DISAPPEARING. WHY?

The sequence with Isaac invading Carmilla’s castle was hilarious, too. Who the fuck is the hot demon? Some demon from the Wiki. Whomst were the fuckin human blokes with crossbows? Literally just human blokes with crossbows that they hired from a town somewhere else because apparently they didn’t have enough forces??????? The ring Hector ends up cutting off is never actually shown to force him to do something against his will? The fucking slave ring is also openly displayed in a bunch of other places and never utilized. It’s a useless McGuffin.

Carmilla descended into madness, or progressed through her logical steps violently due to solitude? And then when Lenore asks her what her motivations are, Carmilla tries to be coy and not answer the question so they end up having the same dialogue like 4 times? Lenore is somehow SURPRISED? Like, all of these people were human at some point, and that shit is never addressed, or if it is, it’s not remembered.

Hector was also here. He made a night creature, helped Isaac kill Carmilla - why did she explode so violently? - and then chilled in the castle the rest of the time. Like, nothing bad happened to him other than his finger. Which, show his hand every time he’s on screen, remind the audience of his injury. Isn’t it cool and edgy and shocking?

Saint Germain being just a shitty carnal entity was boring. He had a girlfriend he wanted to save so he could get laid, SNORE. When they showed her, she looked like Maria from Symphony of the Night, which has an ending that heavily implies her and Alucard hook up, so I was irritated that they coopted her appearance for this woman with no speaking lines that led Saint Germain to the Infinite Corridor.

Like, everything around Saint Germain’s story was pretty cool. If they hadn’t shown up literally in episode 3 through a sudden flashback his story and his motivations and also he’s the villain, the mystery of what he was doing was interesting. And for it to all just be told to us upfront? And then he just fucking died?

I had no fucks to give for Varney/Death. Death is not mentioned at any point before this season, he shows up seemingly randomly at the end as the Big Bad, and he’s just a big skeleton asshole. Ratko was at least a little interesting, but also wtf was he there for?

I also didn’t much care for Zamfir. I felt like there should’ve been two characters in her place. If one of them was crazy and the other was following their orders without knowing they were crazy? Cool. If she was crazy and didn’t ACKNOWLEDGE she was crazy? Better than what we got. The knights and the Underground Court and all the shit with Targoviste? Boring. Because, specifically, it demands a lot of suspension of disbelief that I didn’t have at that point.

Who the fuck was Dragan? What were all the monsters attacking the castle? Awful convenient for Alucard to have a shield now. He also had a bunch of skill from the SotN game, like the wolf form and the winged cape. Why did that one vampire have big bat wings and never again? Why did Varney call like literally everybody on the mirror phones? Why did he know to do that? Why did Saint Germain know him? WHERE DID TREVOR GET THE OTHER WHIP?

Trevor and Sypha were honestly probably the best handled. Sypha was herself but bigger and stressed. Trevor was also very tired and still a monster hunter. My husband was very happy with the “We’re just two sides of the same coin” philosophy Trevor had with Death, like Geralt feeling like a monster because he’s a Witcher. The idea that they aren’t exactly human and cause so much death but to the monsters. He wanted that explored. I was too busy being frustrated at the huge flashy animation fight to even remember that Trevor had said anything like that.

The magical weapons in Targoviste were cool plot devices. Much like with Varney and the mirrors and so many other things, it felt like they were there because the plot demanded it, not because there was some natural story for it outside of when Trevor and Sypha showed up.

But the single most disappointing thing was Vlad and Lisa living at the end. They didn’t want to see Alucard, absolute shit move regardless of their reasoning. The fact that they still went by Vlad and Lisa Tepes was bound to get back to Alucard somehow. And I... Being in Japan and engaging with a lot of Japanese media, I understand the way they use God is similar to the way they use Spirits, or Kami or something. God being used by a Western author makes it so wildly different. But I’m also... pretty against the idea of God in general, so the whole idea that “God” said Dracula and Lisa deserved a second chance is boring. Like, there’s so much wrong with this ending. It was only there for the shippers, probably.

Anyway. 4/10, wouldn’t watch again.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#10)

Ahhh this season is so good, I’m not ready for it to end! This post covers the penultimate episodes: 3x11 - 3x12

-oh boyyy Lyla’s getting drunk to deal with her daddy issues. Real! Tho it is nice seeing Billy, Lyla, Tim, and Mindy getting along I guess? Sigh.

-HAHAHA poor Tyra being forced to throw Mindy a “tea party” bridal shower.

-let’s maybe NOT call your son’s 15 year old girlfriend a “minx” or a “plague,” Joe McCoy?!?!

-oh Matt :( taking out his anger and emotions about his grandma’s deteriorating health on his mom :( this is so hard

-oooooh this redistricting plotline is such an interesting shake up!! Holy shit these fully grown men standing around a table redrawing the redistricting line to “keep the Dillon Panthers intact” is truly wild.

-I really like this scene where Lyla breaks down to Tim about letting her mom and siblings move to California without her and feeling like she has no family now that Buddy has hurt her. I feel like too many teen dramas have a teen character’s family move away and never show it affecting them which feels wholly unrealistic.

-I have to believe Texas weather around semifinals time actually lends itself to dramatic pouring rain?? Bc I mean, it WORKS but this happened in S1 too right?

“He’s got to do what the coach tells him to do!” Thank you Katie McCoy. You need to get away from your terrible, controlling husband. Like, even when they win this dude isn’t happy bc it didn’t happen the WAY he thought it should.

-omfg I just gasped when JD’s dad called Madison a “tramp.” WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

-and of course Tami and Eric are seated in the window of Applebee’s seeing the abuse happen and run out to help. You know who Tami and Eric remind me of (except they’re better): Kirsten and Sandy Cohen of the OC. It’s that “parents of everyone, moral compass of the community” trope. Honestly like, the only good teen drama parent trope. (To a similar extent I guess Mary and Fred Andrews’ play/ed that role on Riverdale)

“I think I’m okay here, hanging with my gal” - Tim Riggins is such a romantic boy wow. His pep talk for Lyla about going to college despite her dad’s bullshit was so precious.

“He hit my baby.” Oh pooor Katie McCoy, you need to get yourself and your boy away from your husband.

-lol when’s the last time we saw Gracie? Julie’s been absent this ep, she babysitting? Hahaha

-oh yes Tyra deserves this beautiful pep talk from her mom!!

-good on this show for naming what Joe McCoy did as “child abuse” bc YEP. Tami and Eric feeling awful about calling CPS (but being mandated to do so as educators) is such a real and well done conflict.

-omg Matt’s art portfolio!! He wants to go to Chicago for art! I just love the image of Tami, Julie, and Matt flipping through his portfolio ugh yes. Soft.

“It reads like a five page needlepoint pillow.” Lmao Landry and yeah, writing the college essay sucks.

“They have the biggest Van Gogh collection.” Saracen’s a man after my own heart.

FYI I left and Jeff gave me a dab that hit hard (I dramatically said it “killed me”) so the rest of 3x12 and the post was composed whilst I’m even more stoned than usual.

-wow Landry missing the bus the ONE time he drinks damn

-hey I’ve never seen this coach leading the chants on the bus before. Is this like his whole job

-awww Lorraine asking Julie if Matt likes art and she’s like, yeah he loves it! And he’s amazing at it. So cute. Oh wow both of them agreeing they don’t want to “hold him back from anything.”

-My heart! This show does such a good job of showing so many heartwarming dynamics of all kinds.

-ooookay Katie I get why you don’t want to be friends with Tami anymore....but like y’all need parenting classes, your husband is straight up abusive to your child. Also I’m scared for you, please leave that man

-OMFG Tyra lost her virginity at THIRTEEN? That’s so heartbreaking. Also everything she’s screaming about in the car needs to start going into this college essay. Omg is she gonna write about Jason Street getting paralyzed? Real. How many people in this town do you think used that in their college essay?

-Tim and Matt scene THANK YOU I am blessed

-omfg Tyra reading her essay out loud to Landry overlaying Tami and Eric on the field; Julie with baby grace; Saracen and Tim throwing the frisbee; the raucous Colette-riggins family in the car. Beautiful!!! Perfection.

-lol I saw the year 2008 on the game board and realized if this was fall 2008...I was a freshman in high school. JD is my peer.

-omg Joe McCoy has THE douchebag glasses. Classic child abuser am I right

-JD throwing a fit on the field is good fucking characterization bc you mimic what your parents do, especially when you’re a 15 year old kid

-OH SHIT SARACEN’S GOING IN AS QUARTERBACK FOR HIS LAST HALF EVER AS A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAYER??? The drama! The writing!

-YALL I am out here white knuckling it through this state game and I barely understand football and yet...I’m like wow really all you need to do to get me interested in a sport is make me care about the characters playing. Saracen and riggins are working so well together I cry

-damn what a way to go down. They actually turned the game around and a field goal is what made them lose :(

“I wanted everyone’s friends and families to be here tonight when I say this: I have never been more proud of a team than I am right now” oh Eric Taylor what a man

“There’s not a single person in this room who’s ever gonna be the same”’ wow I felt that

-Riggins always seems more contemplative in a Sherpa

[pandoraylamcraziness]

Dude the malec weddin was literally confirmed by Matt Hastings via twitter and malex in Roswell were given hope this week they opened up a lot to eachother and for what happened on the magicians that’s an actual definition of queerbait bs

I’m sorry, I’m just sleep deprived and I had a moment of “dOn’T tRuSt aNyThInG!1!” and I got paranoid. I do not trust we’re really gonna get all we want tho, like I almost expect a stab in the back at the last min. Everyone is chanting “Immortal Husbands!” and I’m here biting my nails thinking “what if they make Magnus regain his magic and inmortality but Alec is still mortal? Or what if Magnus regain his powers but not his inmortality?”. Until the very last moment in the last ep I’m not gonna breathe freely.But thank you for reminding me this, really. With Roswell I think the problem is that there’s a disconection between the writers and what we actually see on screen. Like Catarina (one of the writers) was literally saying Alex didn’t want a relationship with Michael, that he moved on. And we were like “wtf are you talking about, do you even watch your own show????”. And then Vlamis talking about all those emotional scenes and how much Michael loved Alex. And idk, the way the writers off screen handled the Maria/Michael thing was shit. So I decided to not listen anymore at the writers on twitter, bc I just get mad. I’m gonna enjoy the show and that’s it. We have amazing actors playing Malex and I’m so in love with them.

And with Queliot hurts a fucking ton bc it wasn’t queerbait. It was literally canon. They kissed, and have sex, and profesed their love to each other, and spent 50 years together, and they raised their child… That wasn’t subtext, that was very much textual. But then at the last minute they make Quentin suddenly forget Eliot and go back with his ex in an epic “no homo” move, and then when Eliot is back, they don’t even let them speak to each other and play a “bury your gays” trope. Like. It feels like two different shows. That’s not queerbait, they did have a main queer couple. They just decided to shit on it at the last minute bc it’s “edgy” (aka bad and lazy writing)

[boasamishipper]

endgame review (spoilers!!!)

okay so now that i’ve finally stopped crying and had a good night’s sleep here are all of my thoughts on avengers endgame:

things i liked:

the opening scene with clint losing his wife and kids -- my heart was in my throat the whole time; i felt so so bad for him

nebula and tony bonding

steve getting rid of that beard like thank god

tony and pepper reuniting

tony FINALLY telling steve off for everything; as a lifelong tony stan this was super cathartic

scott reuniting with cassie; in fact, all of scott’s scenes were awesome

bonus - the fact that the only reason any of this was able to happen was because a rat accidentally turned the machine back on

the fact that tony got married to pepper!!! and had a daughter!!! he was such a good dad to baby morgan i loved it

carol’s new haircut  👌 👌 👌

tony looking at peter’s picture  😭 😭😭

“shit :)”

“i love you 3000″

all of the time travel scenes. did the rules make sense? nope. did i love seeing the crew go back in time to all of the previous avengers movies and see their past selves and fuck around with the timeline? absolutely.

going off that -- getting to see all the minor characters like jane and frigga and hank was awesome. i loved the entire time heist plot.

loki making fun of cap by transforming into him

“hail hydra” followed by that smirk (and the fact that they made fun of the whole hydra!cap thing was awesome)

the cap vs cap fight

thor getting to talk to his mother

tilda swinton’s character and bruce talking. seeing her again was def a surprise.

nebula and gamora talking and teaming up to fuck thanos over. karen gillam was great in this film.

tony getting to talk to his father (and the fact that the code name he used was howard potts like??? i cry)

“we’re a long way from budapest” be still my 2013 clintasha heart

the new infinity gauntlet being made out of tony’s iron man hand

the fact that they brought everyone back without fucking up the timeline. i was so worried they’d have to erase tony’s kid from existence but they didn’t so thank god.

steve wielding mjolnir. ngl that was pretty cool.

EVERYONE COMING BACK!!! (i knew it was coming. everyone knew it was coming. but it was still great to see.)

steve saying “avengers assemble”

PETER AND TONY’S REUNION!!! (i waited an entire fucking year for this and it was WORTH IT)

PEPPER FIGHTING ALONGSIDE TONY!!! HOPE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE SCOTT!!! battle couple goals :D

“hey peter parker”

“i am inevitable.” “i am...iron man.” S O B B I N G

tony’s death. like am i sad that tony died??? 150%. but it made narrative sense, he got to be happy with his kid and pepper (for however brief of a time), he found the loophole in time travel that allowed him to save everybody, and he dusted thanos. “you can rest now.”  😭😭😭 a fitting ending for the strongest avenger.

the entire funeral scene. the viking funeral wreath thing with the “proof tony stark has a heart” on it??? GOOD SHIT. i was bawling.

happy and morgan. that kid’s going to have happy wrapped around her little finger.

tony’s final message

the thorkyrie scene (even if i didn’t like what was being said i’m glad they shared some screentime.)

harley coming back!!!

sam becoming captain america (THANK GOD)

the end credits with rdj (the man who singlehandedly made the mcu amazing) being billed last. the theater was cheering and crying at the same time and it was amazing.

the final bit at the end with the noise from tony making his first suit. 😭😭😭

things i didn’t like:

the way they treated thor. taika made thor so amazing in ragnarok and the russos (and the screenwriters) got jealous and shit all over it!!! wtf!!! (and all of the fat jokes and jokes about his ptsd were NOT cool. didn’t like rocket slapping him out of his panic attack either.) can’t believe they made him an alcoholic who sits on his ass and plays fortnite all day. wtf.

for that matter -- i CANNOT believe that he would just up and fuck off with the guardians of the galaxy and abandon his people. is valkyrie a worthy leader??? absolutely. but so is thor!!! that was his entire arc in endgame like WTF!!!! (also the fact that we didn’t get a thorkyrie kiss is fucking CRIMINAL)

also why couldn’t he keep the short hair??? why did he have to get mjolnir back when taika went to all the trouble of showing he didn’t need the hammer to be a hero? did they just want to fuck up EVERYTHING that taika did?

the ending for steve. ‘nuff said.

no you know what? i’m going to go into this further. do i like steve? no. i never have. his actions toward tony in civil war put him on my shitlist forever, and that’s all i am willing to say about that. but you expect me to believe that steve fucking rogers (who KNEW that peggy moved on, lived a good life and had a husband and kids) really went back and fucked up the timeline just to be with her? he barely knew her!! they barely bonded in the first avenger at all!! also there are so many plotholes with how in the world he managed that (what happened when the other cap woke up from the ice???) also does this mean that his ‘romance’ with sharon is technically incest??? and did he just live out the rest of his life with peggy knowing that bucky was being tortured by hydra? insert “it’s bad writing” gif here.

(i am glad that he passed the shield onto sam though. bucky would have been a terrible choice for captain america.)

ALSO. you know who would have been a better choice to go back in time and live the rest of their life with the people that they loved and could not be with due to reasons outside their control? CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. let her go back in time and live a happy life with her wife and kid. #carolmaria4evr

the fact that natasha died instead of clint. i literally cannot fucking believe that they fridged the first female avenger just for clint’s (and everyone’s) man pain. it was bad enough when they fridged gamora for thanos’s man pain. clint should have died in nat’s place and the fact that he didn’t is a huge fucking cop out and that’s the that on that.

for that matter -- clint’s entire storyline prior to going back in time was WILD. his only explanation for killing all those people was “thanos snapped half the universe and you didn’t die so imma kill you.”  FUCKING WHAT????

the fact that the russos are patting themselves on the back for their “woke lgbt rep” that was actually just a “leave for the bathroom and miss it” extra. you know what would have been better? a stucky ending. a sambucky ending. carol going home to monica and maria. valkyrie kissing a girl. ANYTHING would have been better than that.

speaking of carol -- she was CRIMINALLY underused in this movie. she was barely shown mourning fury (and also!!! why did we get no confirmation about monica and maria????) and barely spoke to the team in general. i thought she was going to have a major role (and would help them go back in time) but she didn’t and that disappointed me.

did i like the fact that she destroyed thanos’s fleet? yes. but i wish she was used more. she’s the most powerful avenger ever!!! and i wish that she got to speak more with tony as they’re friends in the comics.

(BRIE LARSON IS AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS AND THEY BARELY USED HER!!! LIKE WTF)

i won’t even get into the makeup thing bc that’s already been said and done. actually no i will. there was no reason for her to have perfect hair and lipstick and makeup. that’s not who she is. please let butch ladies continue to be butch please and thank you.

the fact that they didn’t bring gamora and natasha back :(

this might be controversial but i didn’t love the fact that pepper and tony suddenly retired to a lakehouse and became stay at home parents. i was totally expecting pepper and tony to keep running stark industries and make it into a charity organization that helped people in need/those affected by the snap.

the fact that they never fucking explained how time travel worked and WHY they couldn’t just go back and kill thanos as a baby (that was a good suggestion!). and the thing where nebula shot her past self and somehow lived??? it made no sense. i mean. i know it’s bad writing. but i was expecting it to be at least a LITTLE better. where are my explanations.

speaking of bad writing -- did the avengers ever come out and say the reason that everyone got dusted? did everyone know it was bc of thanos? why are some places in such states of disrepair and others are not? who ruled wakanda since shuri and t’challa were dusted? so many unanswered questions. rip.

the directing of the final battle was on par with the throne room battle scene in the last jedi in that both are chaotic and messy and that’s the that on that. as was the scene where hawkeye was beating up the yakuza. messy. lame. yawn.

the scene with all of the female superheroes. was it cool? sure. do i wish natasha could have been there? YES. do i wish that the mcu had more female superheroes? DOUBLE YES. was it a blatant attempt for the russos to pat themselves on the back and be like “sEE!! WE’RE FEMINISTS!!! LOOK AT US!!”?? definitely.

honestly, i was expecting the acting to be way worse than it was based on how all my mutuals were going off about it. overall, though, it was clear in some scenes that the actors had no idea what the context of their lines were and the acting was pretty meh throughout, and for the biggest marvel movie of the year the acting should be a damn sight better than “meh”. but this just reinforces what i know already, which is that the russos are shitty directors. get them as far away from the mcu as possible please and thank you.

things i wish we got:

a carolmaria reunion

a peter&may reunion

a fury&everyone (and esp a fury&carol reunion)

clint sacrificing himself instead of nat sacrificing herself

valkyrie talking to thor about overcoming alcoholism and ptsd

thor staying in new asgard with his people

steve going back and dancing with peggy like he promised and THEN going back to the future (where all of his friends are) and retiring or helping fury bring back shield.

better writers

better directors

an end credits scene that set up phase 4 (tho i assume we will be getting that in spiderman far from home)

tldr - thor got fucked over. tony is a hero and the love of my life. steve shouldn’t have gone back in time to be with peggy. nat shouldn’t have been fridged. the writing was meh and the directing was worse. not the complete and utter shitshow i was expecting, but not the so-called greatest movie in the mcu. give rdj an honorary oscar. 6/10.

[sometimesrosy]

Roswell New Mexico ep 1.09 liveblog Songs About Texas

Listen I don’t care that I’ve never done a liveblog about this show before. I love it. I watched the original. I like this one better. Do not watch if you don’t want my buzzed cursing and spoilers and flailing. Because I curse and flail and spoil. it was an accidental liveblog because I was messaging a friend of mine who watches but was not caught up. So I didn’t want to spoil her until she said it was fine and then it became no holds barred. Do I edit it or let you see my terrible typing while I watch a show and drink a beer in the afternoon? 

Ahh. Get it unfiltered.

me--all right. i'm watching the roswell episode

buddy--We had a rather intense work meeting How’s the Rowell episode Roswell*

me-- just started. idk. did you see the last episode? omg i like all these character so well

Buddy--No I’m so behind

me--well then i can't tell you marias not as quirky. i liked the last maria a lot oh i like all these characters. the female sheriff? i like her too can we please have a maria/alex/michael love triangle? please? no wait not love triangle. ot3 polyamory please

buddy--Lol your commentary is awesome

me--michael is canon bi. it works. maria and alex can just be nonsexual partners and share micheale he's SO cute IF YOU HAD KEPT UP TO DATE I COULD GIVE YOU BETTER COMMENTARY

buddy--YOU CAN SPOIL ME

[buckle up I just go IN]

me--they're going to see a faith healer they're wondering if she's an alien. max and michael went to see if she did that, but liz and maria went to see  if she could heal maria's mom who is crazy. the female sheriff went to ALEX instead of his father who is trying to get her to out max.  she found a handprint death and thiks there's a conspiracy and she doesn't trust alex's dad who is blackmailing her to surveil alex. wait why is MARIA going with Michael to heal his broken hand that was smashed by Alex's dad because he cauthg them together. oh wait. liz is talking to max PERSONAL SPACE MUCH? michael is funny. "That feeling babe is naivetee" wait why does michael care about maria? oh she's a fake healer. oh. they just did an indigenous appropriation comment. wait grandma is like, 'they were asking about the sigil?" i love his show confession. i'm on my second beer. michael stole from the scamming healer. liz doesn't care

buddy--Ah feeling a little loose?

me--michael is funny casual let's say better than anxiety oh they just made a cut about healthcare. this show is awesome maria is singing alanis morisette!

buddy--Oh hey I don’t judge at allI can’t go that route or my family would start raising eyebrows

me--i'll probably have to watch again because i'm getting buzzed wait why is michael flirting with maria stop it michael if you're just teasing poor max is moping wait maria's making max sing with her i love max, michael, maria and liz together. oh now we have alex, the female sheriff, and liz's ex boyfriend. i like them too but he thinks the murderer is isobel but it's not i bet it's someone else.

buddy--No I can’t imagine it’s that simple 

me--i think there's another alien out there killing people and taking control of isobel which means she didn't kill rosa but whoever controlled her did I'm REALLY gonna need michael to stop flirting with maria because i used to ship maria and michael and he made me ship michael and alex. michael is both hot and funny at least we get some max and liz bonding. oh no there's a motel across the street!!!!!! girl sheriff just got told her ex bf max is an alien

this show is great

Oh god lol Is everyone in this town in love with max evans? says liz's ex bf what's his name?

buddy--Dude come on you know the answer to that I think Kyle 

me--lol kyle yes that's right uh oh needed to rewind the lol line and i rewound too far. atleast i get to see max and liz again wow how far did it rewind? I guess I'm pushing my kids "clean up your room at 4" back a little bit. wait we're back to alanis again? maybe my buzzed rewinding is making it so i don't need to watch again btw maria can sing wait michael TOTALLY checked out maria stop that! liz is falling in love wth max wait lol line coming up. in love wih max evans DId you just threaten to tattle to our parents Jenna? Manes or the Sheriff. now she's about to find out Max is an alien. wait. the female cop is Jenna. it skipped to the previous commerical l why would it do that? michael and maria flirting again. listen stop playing with my heart. WHICH ONE?Maria or Alex?  they're so cute Liz suggests the hotel. She jus tlooked at Max with love in her eyes If there's only one bed i will die Jenna freaking out about Alien Max wait here's the line. Kyle annoyed because everyone is in love wih Max evans.  Alex says, "angsty nerd isn't my type even though he is tall." Kyle says, "Is angsty COWBOY?"lol

buddy--Lol

me--btw remember kyle used to be a homophobe

buddy--Ohhh right

me--uh oh. Kyle has info too. Alex is investigating. Alex, Kyle and Jenna are a good team. Alex wants to take over project shepherd.

STOP!! THEY ONLY HAVE ONE ROOM AT THE MOTEL!!!!

buddy--LOL

me--Oh no lol

KING SIZE BED ITS THE JALAPENO ROOM REAL SPICY that is an actual quote from actual canon

buddy--LOL What?! 

me--LOL YES LITERALLY But the clerk found anothe rroom I think Wait wait before he found the room

"It's fine, I can sleep in the truck" max "ITS FINE WE"RE ADULTS" liz

LOL OMG THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED

buddy--LOL Oh the kiss of death 

me--lol but they're teasing he finds another room lol. i'm crying with laughter is it the beer or is it really funny? i have to pause and let myself laugh even though the other room is called The Alamo room. "Which one of you is into mass carnage? i love this show Lol rewind i need to see that again WF WTDF WTF i can't even curse without typos IT LITERALLY JUST DID THAT just cut to liz alone in a giant bed. halepenos. real spicy. she's tossing and turning i am pausing with liz tossing and turning because I DONT BELIEVE IT i know how to spell jalapenos. i'm not a good typist especially when watching tv

buddy--It’s okay lol

me--THey cut from Liz tossing and turning in the jalapeno room to max tossing and turning in the alamo room. THIS IS A FUCKING FANFIC neither of them could sleep. YOU COULDN"T GET COMFORTABLE BECAUSE YOU SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SAME BED YOU FOOLS

buddy--LOL CLASSIC

me--Max wants to be a healer, he tells liz. or thinks he should because he's seen people die in his job. She's the only one he's saved."Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." quoting henry the iv. dorks. he just gave her his coat uh oh liz doesn't hate max anymore. she was mad at max becuase he lied to her, he broke her heart. shades of bellarke LISTEN YOU ASKED FOR THIS LIVEBLOG isn't there a writer for this show that used to be on the 100 is it the sisters?

buddy--YEA

me--mother fuckers

buddy--Oh lord almighty

me--i have to keep taking breaks because i can't handle it

buddy--Well I know what I’m watching when I get home

me--they are literally bellarke after coming back together. llz felt betrayed like clarke felt betrayed over madi if i press the wrong button it goes CRAZY on the rewind. it just went all the way back to the fake healer liz wanted to share a bed. she hated the alamo room this is SO fanfic romantic THis is so bellarke even how she walks away kyle and alex are bonding over aliens. but kyle doesn't believe they are terrorist threats. maria and michael are bonding over being shitfaced come on michael OH MY GOD HE KISED HER SHE KISSED HIM BACK OH DOWN THEY GO DAMMIT THIS WAS NOT IN MY PLANS OT3 or bust do NOT mess around with my maria and michael if you're not going there

Faith healer again. This time Max is there with the grandma. The grandaughter is scamming but the grandma knows something. Faith healer wants to see max striptease lol. grandma tells her to get in the car. Grandma calls him a loud white cop lol He shows her his tattoo. Grandma knew someone like him. Sh enever spoke until the day she died. "He has arrived so I may leave." She thinks Max is who she said.

Oh Maria and Michael. "Here's the deal. Never happend. Tell no one." He told Max and Liz or maybe not.STOP FLIRITNG YOU"RE KILLING ME

"I could never hate you" max says to Liz. And she doesn't believe his version of her."youre always muttering in spanish like it's some secret language no one understands but you. hello. we're in new mexico. we all speak spanish."He sees her faults. And he loves her Easily KILL ME NOW STOP WITH THE SUNFLARES WOW SHE REALLY YANKS HIM BACK TO KISS HER HOLY SHIT THAT"S ROMANTIC REWIND HE SEES HER. oh he takes her hands and tells her she thinks that being more perfect than her sister she's easier to love but he sees her fautls and he loves her easily" Is it so crazy that I believe in you too?" I just know. Oh god THAT IS . A FUCKING GOOD KISS. She has her hands all over him

buddy--Sorry a coworker was talking to me

me--rewind AGAIN ou have to catch up

buddy--I will

me--he says, "come on I'll drive you home" and starts walking away and she's like THE FUCK YOU WILL YOU AMAZING MOTHERFUCKER YOU"RE GOING TO KISS ME I"VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR TEN YEARS. I could literally keep rewinding that all day but I realize I need to know what comes next commercial break ends. omg they're still kissing Now they're breathing. Why he asks. "I ran out of reasons not to. Was it whorth the wait?" He says it was worth the wait SOMEONE'S WATCHIN GWHO THE FUCK IS THAT? WHO THE FUCK IS-- WAIT THATS ISOBELS HUSAND HE sees the eggs He sees isobel in the egg. 

kyle and liz. her cure works but the thinks isobel is the murderer. the husband tells the sheriff that isobel is in rehab. he's lying. Kyles father was killed by an alien too.

Alex and Michael oh no. after Maria. He's got maria's necklace in his boot now alex is jealous. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. Alex says he needs a mechanic

Buddy--.The original Liz shiri appleby directed this episodeBtw

me--Wait no he's confronting Miechael. Alex tells him he loved him. LIke something cosmic and now he wants to start over. motherfucker

yeah i knew about shiri. she has apparently read some fanfiction so have the writers

Buddy--Yeah I’m 100 percent the show runner carina has lol percent sure*

me--alex wants to be friends with michael "Do you want to know who I am" or do you want to know what i am." Max is writing fiction and reading it to Isobel. In walks Liz. He kisses her again. Thanks her for solutions for Isobel. She thinks there's a fourth alien in roswell because she knows the murders were aliens but not isobel because isobel hasn't had a blackout since Rosa. I told you there was another murdering alien.

buddy--Ha!!

me--wow that was INTENSE. next week she tries her cure on isobel her husband knows she's an alien now though

buddy--Oh lord

me--I"m posting this whole thing online. Just so you know. you'll be kept anon.

buddy--That’s fine lol

[anais-mitchell]

Hamilton Angelica Tour in Atlanta, 6/2/18 Evening

So, this was my first time EVER seeing Hamilton and being the extra person I am I had to document all my thoughts so I could remember everything I loved and share it with others! The cast was the full Angelica cast with Edred Utomi as Hamilton and Karli Dinardo as Peggy/Maria. Putting this review under a read more because it is LONG. If anyone has any specific questions about cast members or songs feel free to ask!

We were seated in left orchestra, and while there was no obstructed view there were moments where characters (often Eliza for some reason) were either blocked by someone else or had their back to us.

(I also credit the structure of these rambles to @fourteenacross whose Hamilton reviews are always so well thought out and insightful 💙)

Alexander Hamilton: I nearly passed out when I heard that first note. But this is just such a good introductory number, everyone played their parts very well. The staging is unique and beautiful and when the ensemble all sang together towards the end I felt it in my soul. The “me? I....” part was as striking as expected.

Aaron Burr, Sir: I could tell from the get-go Edred and Nicholas had awesome chemistry as Hamilton and Burr. The bursar lines were really funny. Edred seemed very deflated in his little “ha” after Burr’s advice. The squad introductions were predictably fun and Chris Lee’s dancing is a godsend.

My Shot: I lovedddd Edred in this song. He had so much energy with the squad and was very determined as Hamiton should be!!! Chris’s delivery of “anarchy” will never fail to crack me up, and Chaundre’s coat flip was awesome. Ruben got the crowd so pumped on the “rise up” bit which is one of my FAVORITE parts of the show. But my favorite part of this song was definitely Edred. He had a great little nervous “oh am I talking too loud?” and his “I imagine death” was so vulnerable and convincing. I loved seeing the sisters in the wings, I’m not sure if this was intentional but I almost saw Julia kinda staring longingly at Ham? Foreshadowing? Or me looking too much into things? Who knows?

The Story of Tonight: Edred and Ruben both have lovely singing voices which made this a 10/10 number. The camaraderie felt so real and it’s just such a sweet little number that I adore.

The Schuyler Sisters: All around so much fun. Karli’s Peggy wasn’t as pouty as some of my favorites but she was still very cute and got some laughs. Nicholas had a very funny delivery of “your daddy’s got money.” They all sounded amazing and had awesome energy!! But one of my favorite dumb details in this show is Eliza’s facial expressions during Angelica’s roast and downsides of being pretty far left, Burr was completely blocking Eliza from my frame of vision :(( still, overall great number and Sabrina especially slayed!

Farmer Refuted: Really funny. Edred’s Ham was so frustrated with this tiny guy because “he’s WRONG and I’m RIGHT and I need to SHOW HIM.” Lafayette distracting Burr in the back was a great detail as well.

You’ll Be Back: I thought this was done well, but honestly it might have been my least favorite king song of the show because he didn’t have many funny moments until the back half of the song. He did this growl on “and ever” that was hilarious, but to me the funniest part was the ensemble scurrying out SO QUICKLY when he called them and following his dance moves. 

Redcoat transition got some audible gasps.

Right Hand Man: The beginning of this song where the Schuyler sisters and ensemble sing at the front of the stage then quickly run away is just one of my favorite little details of the show. Such captivating and almost haunting choreography. Carvens has AMAZING stage presence and such a powerful voice!! His Washington was so frustrated with everything and very authoritative. The cannon “BOOM”s were so loud in the theater and really brought you into the scene. Nicholas had a very funny delivery of “from a distance.” I loved loved loved the Schuyler sisters harmonizing in the wings as well.

A Winter’s Ball: This was the first of many moments where Nicholas used obviously fake cheeriness to cover up how annoyed Burr was with Hamilton to AMAZING effect. Chris looked so put out when Hamilton pushed him aside lmao. And I totally missed the faces of the guys towards the end bc I was watching Angelica and Eliza like YES THOSE ARE MY GIRLS. Whoops.

Helpless: Ahhh this was just so CUTE. You could actually hear Julia smiling through some lines, her Eliza was so smitten and pleading w Angelica. Edred and Julia had fantastic chemistry and you could so feel the love between them. Julia had a wonderfully “wtf” reaction to “Angelica tried to take a bite of me.” Also, I owe my life to all her riffs. She has such a lovely vibrant voice that reverberated through the theater so well.

Satisfied: This is my favorite song in the whole show and Sabrina did not disappoint. First of all, seeing the “rewind” bit live is SO COOL. I loved that Sabrina genuinely played it as feeling a real emotional and romantic connection to Hamilton but also was so protective of Eliza and knew she couldn’t have him. She was the perfect blend of Angelica’s stoicism and emotion. And oh god THE BRIDGE. That scene where it’s just Angelica, Eliza, and Hamilton on stage and Angelica looks absolutely gutted as she delivers the “at least...” part and Eliza has this huge smile.... ugh just rip my heart out. No fancy riffs in the end but she did it well. Sabrina’s ending was heartbreaking and the staging w Angelica totally alone on stage was :((( I want to hug her. Fun tidbit: when Eliza and Burr are dancing, Burr was doing this SUPER dorky dance I can’t even explain and Eliza had the funniest look on her face.

The Story of Tonight (Reprise): They were all v drunk and silly and I loved it. Literally any scene Lafayette was in, Chris Lee was doing all kinds of weird dance moves that cracked me up. When Laurens was teasing Burr about Theodosia, Mulligan came up behind Burr and did this huge exaggerated thrusting motion that had me DYING. Edred’s “oh shit” was everything. In the final few lines after Hamilton said “what are you waiting for?”, Nicholas did this little almost resentful laugh that was like, “you could never understand.” Such a great dichotomy between these two characters and the actors did it so well.

Wait For It: First of all, Nicholas has an incredible voice and great stage presence and he rocked this number. I was fully captivated. Also, he got some laughs on “I’m keeping the bed warm while her husband is away” and “Theodosia she’s mine” which I’ve never heard laughs on? However, he had a REALLY BAD line flub that made me cringe but he recovered well. In the bridge part, he lowkey started singing the lyrics to The Word Was Wide Enough and then had like 5 seconds of silence before catching it again YIKES. But he made up for it doubly by going SO HARD on the final chorus w amazing emotion and intensity. You so felt Burr’s philosophy and wanted to root for him so badly. Loved it.

Stay Alive: I absolutely loved the little bit with the Bullet just skirting over Hamilton at the beginning. Robbie Nicholson’s Charles Lee was SO ANNOYING. It was perfect. The instrumentals of this number are superb as well. I really enjoyed Eliza and Angelica's presence in the balcony as well, Julia riffed a little bit on the “stay alive”s and it sounded very good. The Lams moment at the end was subtle but definitely there.

Ten Duel Commandments: I just really enjoy the staging of this song and the use of the turntable. I know I keep talking about the minute deliveries of Nicholas’s Burr, but THEY WERE SO GOOD. His “can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?” and “okay so we’re doing this” were just comic gold.

Meet Me Inside: INTENSE. Carvens basically bellowed his first “meet me inside.” Edred was super argumentative and pissed up until “call me son one more time” where he realized he messed up. Carvens “go home” was very firm but not yelled or whispered.

That Would Be Enough: Julia is a star. This number was just all kinds of cute, she was super touchy and physically affectionate with him and they really tugged on my heartstrings. Also she had one of my favorite touches that Solea did where she holds her belly on “and we could be enough” and her final “enoughhhh” had such a nice vibrato. The ending pose warmed my heart. Such a touching little song.

Guns and Ships: I LOVE CHRIS LEE!!!! His rapping was very crisp even with the accent and he had hella energy. His Lafayette was so eager and energetic. Something you don’t see in bootlegs is how COOL the choreography of passing Washington’s letter to Hamilton is. The Hamliza goodbye was very sweet, Edred touched her belly and she looked very sad.

History Has Its Eyes On You: Carvens has such a captivating and strong singing voice. All the harmonies of the ensemble and the ensemble singing together were transcendent.

Yorktown: Hi again I still love Chris Lee. It felt really good to clap for “immigrants, we get the job done.” You could really feel Edred’s emotion on the part about Eliza and his energy throughout the number was amazing. Jennifer Geller was mesmerizing as the bullet and I adored her part with Ruben. Mulligan’s rap WENT HARD Chaundre really brought it. Also I would like to reiterate my love for Carvens his “not yet” was so powerful!!! That emphasis!! I have never felt more alive than when the entire ensemble was singing at the end and all the chants. Another hidden gem of this number: on the second “the world turned upside down,” I could CLEARLY hear Raven Thomas doing a lil riff and it was much appreciated I was kinda sad to not see her as a sister.

What Comes Next?: This was funny. 

Dear Theodosia: Nicholas and Edred had gorgeous harmonies together. A lovely and simple number that worked so well with the two of them.

Laurens Interlude: OUCH. Between Hamilton, Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan I didn’t even know who to look at. Hamilton looked so gutted, he was gripping the chair and just seemed devastated. Laf and Herc were in the balcony reading the letters and Lafayette gave a little salute and Mulligan just took a drink. Ruben had a very mournful and sad delivery and the stare between him and Edred towards the end was just heart wrenching. They definitely played up Lams in this scene.

Non Stop: I seriously love this number. Edred and Nicholas play so well off of each other. Edred had awesome energy and totally internalized the whole persistence and blind determination of Hamilton in this number. I completely missed his little flourish on “I practically perfected it” tho FOR VALID REASON and that reason was Nicholas delivering the line “he’s just non stop” with the ensemble through gritted teeth and a fake ass smile which was PRICELESS. Nicholas’s “okay” after “you’re a better lawyer than me” was really high pitched and funny. After Hamilton left, Burr like chased him down during “I’ll keep all my plans close to my chest” and it seemed like Burr was just desperately trying to prove to Hamilton that MY WAY OF DOING THINGS IS JUST AS GOOD AS YOURS, one of many excellent little character moments Nicholas threw in bless him. Edred and Sabrina had excellent chemistry in that tiny bit, his long stare at her was painful. “The other 51!!!” was just as emphatic as I could have hoped for. Julia’s “Alexander... AlexANDER” was pissed and I loved it, the final 30 seconds were beautiful. Julia has amazing riffs that sound so clear even when the whole ensemble is singing. Edred’s last “I am not throwing away my shot!!” was so LOUD lmao what an amazing number though it was a perfect Act 1 closer.

What’d I Miss?: After seeing Act 1, I knew Chris’s Jefferson would just be above and beyond, and I was so not disappointed. @ontheupandupagain said something in her tags the other day that he has such a good singing voice in this song AND HE REALLY DOES, his voice is like silk. But the acting was just invariably hilarious. His best scenes as Jefferson were playing off of Chaundre’s Madison though. Chaundre coughed into his hand and then shook Chris’s hand with it and his face was just like, “what the fuck dude?” and I thought it was SO FUNNY. He also did so much crazy stuff with his extra af coat which I loved.

Cabinet Battle #1: This was highkey the funniest number in the show. Chris and Chaundre had so many tiny little flourishes that had me in stitches. Ex. Chris getting ALLL in Edred’s face, Chris dropping the mic and Chaundre trying to pick it up but fanning it like it was too hot, Chaundre being so offended by “getting high with the French” that he literally shoved an ensemble member out of their chair and had to fan himself, them delivering “you don’t have the votes” with dance moves in PERFECT synchronization. Ugh so good. Edred was really good in this too, his mimicking of Jefferson’s dance moves was hilarious and he went v hard in his bit. After Jefferson and Madison left, he was very indignant w Washington like “I’m right!!! Listen to me!!!”

Take a Break: Julia and Ruben were very cute. Philip was tapping his legs like a little kid while playing the piano which was very in character. I thought Ruben’s Philip rap was very good! He was nervous until like the last two lines and then had such a funny victorious run up the stairs. But again, left orchestra probs, Edred was totally blocking my view of Julia beatboxing :( And god bless Edred for having equal amounts of chemistry with both Sabrina and Julia. The “my dearest Angelica” hits you right in the heart and Sabrina was almost fearfully hopeful but then dismissed it right away. Julia and Sabrina had awesome harmonies, and the bit where Angelica tried to go after him and Eliza stops her will never not hurt me.

Say No To This: Edred was very actively narrating to the audience in the beginning so you could definitely tell everything Maria did was through his retelling. His first “show me how to say no to this” got laughs which was kinda weird. One part of his performance that was so unique was that his “fuuuuu-” was very exasperated and funny more than downright shocked and horrified. Karli definitely played Maria as more of a victim too, she looked so panicked during the middle bit. Her “stay” note was AWESOME. One bit that tugged at the heartstrings was after James Reynolds clipped his whip thing, she stared at Hamilton very longingly and it almost seemed like a cry for help. I really liked the way all of them did this number.

The Room Where It Happens: Okay so this was definitely the best performance of the whole show. Hands down. Nicholas ran the gamut of Burr’s emotions from frustration to anger to horror to unbridled ambition. I can’t even really comment on Chris, Chaundre, or Edred because of how captivating Nicholas was. One touch I really liked was when Jefferson and Madison were planning for the meeting, Burr was aggressively pointing at them to the audience like “look at them!!! look how corrupt they are!!!” But yeah he tore that ending up on Leslie and Josh levels. There was huge applause MIDWAY THROUGH THE ENDING. He went so so so hard, literally slamming on the floor in just an unhinged state of finally letting go of his calculated demeanor. Such a huge shift for Burr and a showstopper in every sense of the word. Ugh I have chills just remembering it.

Schuyler Defeated: “They don’t like you” was delivered to great effect. Burr was almost nagging Hamilton towards the end as Hamilton walked away. These two just really had endlessly great chemistry.

Cabinet Battle #2: Very good all around. They were both super frustrated, and all the typical funny lines were very funny. I think Edred could have gone a just a little bit harder on “you must be out of your goDDAMN MIND” but hey that’s a very minute complaint. Chris got all up in his face for “Daddy’s calling.”

Washington On Your Side: Jefferson’s “wtf” face when Burr shows up will never not amuse me. And Chaundre’s “which I wrote!” was so indignant. They were all very calculating through the whole number and the crescendo of the song pumped me up so hard. 11/10 guys.

One Last Time: This was my favorite number Carvens did by far. His Washington was very desperate to have let a good impact on his country but in a very different way than Hamilton is. Edred’s reactions to all the different bits, especially “Jefferson started it,” were great. And I’d be lying if I said the ending didn’t draw some tears to my eyes, Carvens has such a powerful voice and this song is so cathartic.

I Know Him: I enjoyed it. The lines that are usually funny were funny.

The Adams Administration: Nicholas almost broke because of the king bouncing, but he kept it together. The “sit down” bit was predictably very funny. i loved how conniving Jefferson, Burr, and Madison were at the end, especially how Chris said “let’s let him know, what we know.”

We Know: Hamilton was kinda dismissive when he first said “Secretary Jefferson” but slowly realized something was up by “what is this?” He was very frantic to discredit their accusations. Chris’s “my God” was so disgusted and he was on such a high horse it was HILARIOUS. It totally reminded me of Gina Linetti high horsing Amy in the Season 1 B99 Thanksgiving episode, it was that good. Also, Eliza and Philip in the balcony was a subtle but heartbreaking touch.

Hurricane: I would literally die for the staging, lighting, and choreography of this song. Some of the light changes just hit you straight in the heart and all the choreography with the ensemble holding the chairs is so good. As for the actual performance, I think Edred was the perfect balance between Lin’s quieter emotions and Michael’s almost rage like intense emotions. He got kinda choked up at the part about his mother which ouch. Edred just had a lovely voice too which really shone through in this song.

The Reynolds Pamphlet: This song is EXPLOSIVE live. Chris was so thrilled and Edred was so defensive. Philip was so upset seeing the pamphlet. And oh god, when Angelica showed up Hamilton was so relieved but she yanked away so quickly and she genuinely seemed pained to do so. She was so so hurt and angry, she almost looked on the verge of tears because she had sacrificed so much for him and Eliza and he just threw it away. She almost spit out “god I hope you’re satisfied” into his face and raised a finger in his face, it looked like she could hit him. Rather than staying in his face like Renee did, Sabrina was so angry she left right away. And the dancing in the middle of the stage was definitely the funniest thing the king did.

Burn: UGHHHHH MY HEART. First of all, Julia’s voice is just beautiful on its own. But she really brought the emotion in this. She was so devastated and betrayed, and the fact that she played Eliza as so utterly in love with Hamilton before just really fucked me up. She barely choked out the “I’m” after the long pause. Her ending was super angry though but it was all anger coming from real sadness and hurt. After her final line, she did this little choked sob that just put the nail in my coffin of love for Eliza. This whole song I was just fully engrossed and probably had my mouth just hanging wide open.

Blow Us All Away: I whispered “oh no” to my dad at the beginning of this. Ruben’s Philip was so confident and idealistic and the father/son scene just made you want to scream at Hamilton. Little observation, Eacker’s cape is so swooshy and the actor was playing around with it so much. But yeah this Eacker seemed so much older than Ruben’s Philip and there was a definite power imbalance. Ruben seemed really nervous right before :( and oh god, when he shot on seven my heart just dropped to my stomach because WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. The whole theater gasped.

Stay Alive (Reprise): :(((( Edred’s Hamilton was so panicked and desperate. You could tell he really internalized it when Philip said “I did exactly what you said Pop” and was horrified that this was partially his fault. And Julia just ran out with tears already in her eyes and it was just over for me. She was so motherly and you could tell this was just her worst fear of something bad happening to her son. Ruben didn’t expressly play it like he was dying but he definitely seemed terrified and in pain and didn’t have the Musical Theatre Death Smile which thank god. You could hear a pin drop when the heartbeat stopped, and Julia did a version of the scream that was more like a sob but wow I was in pain. And she yanked that hand away from Hamilton so quickly. It was like she felt he didn’t deserve to mourn with her.

It’s Quiet Uptown: My god, what an intimate and beautiful piece of theatre. I cried which was a given. But really, between Hamilton, Angelica, Eliza, and the ensemble, the grief is so raw and powerful. There are some staging bits I never noticed before, like the ensemble kneeling and doing the sign of the cross during the lines about church. Edred was SO CHOKED UP during some lines. You could just feel how much regret he felt and how he realized how much he’s messed up everything. His delivery of “and you would smile, and that would be enough” was particularly gut wrenching. Sabrina’s voice was beautiful and so sympathetic in this song too which just added to all the poignancy. And then UGH. When Julia’s Eliza took his hand she was just so tired and relieved and devastated. Edred was audibly sobbing (so was I.) This scene is just the perfect encapsulation of the unconditional love Hamilton and Eliza had for each other and Edred and Julia’s performance was just so :(((

The Election of 1800: Chris Lee dramatically saying “Can we get back to politics?” and Chaundre Hall-Broomfield saying “Please?” through tears is really just the best way to get an audience full of crying people to laugh. Burr was SO FAKE during this song I loved it. His reactions to the voters was priceless, and when he greeted Hamilton with “Alexander!” he had such a fake ass smile and exclamation with his arms spread out for a hug; it was GOLDEN. Edred was so emphatic when he said “Burr has none” and Nicholas seemed so personally betrayed. And of course, the ending was flawless. Burr was trying so hard to go back into his cheery public persona but Jefferson just wanted nothing to do with him.

Your Obedient Servant: Burr was LIVID at the beginning of this song. Nicholas had such a great buildup to his anger. The back and forth between the two was just so good through the whole song and they hit the comedic bits right on. But the actual challenge part was very “shit’s about to go down.” 

Best of Wives, Best of Women: They were such a good Hamliza pair :( so soft, so in love, so pure. 

The World Was Wide Enough: Both Nicholas and Edred were just on their A-game for this song. It seemed like Nicholas, for the first half, was really trying to justify to the audience that he was doing the right thing and that Hamilton was a bad person who deserved this. His “this man will not make an orphan of my daughter” was heart wrenching. And props to Jennifer Geller for being a fantastic Bullet, especially in this song. Edred’s monologue was so mesmerizing; every word was delivered with purpose and you really got the vibe that he just wanted more time. And I truly think that “rise up, Eliza!” and then “my love, take your time; I’ll see you on the other side” is one of the most emotionally impactful moments in the whole show. My heart just stopped. My heart also stopped on the shot because woww ouch. You could instantly feel Burr’s regret and just overall thought of “what did I just do?” Angelica and Eliza looked so sad when they came out. The final bit, with Burr alone in the middle of the stage and Hamilton looking down on him from the balcony, and then the light going out on Hamilton is just genius direction. Nicholas had a really dramatic pause on “for Hamilton and.... me.”

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: The instrumentals of this song alone make me tear up. Sabrina was so fierce coming out for her part and I loved it. And then was Julia came out as Eliza I was just a mess. “I live another 50 years” was delivered particularly well. She was so frantic trying to ensure she had done everything, and then there was that moment of beautiful clarity with the orphanage. God bless Julia K. Harriman and God bless Eliza Hamilton. The ending with Hamilton and Eliza was absolutely breathtaking and the perfect final moment of their love, and Julia’s gasp was everything.

Edred Utomi as Hamilton: I will admit, I was a little bummed to be missing Austin Scott as I’ve heard great things about him. But I was so impressed by Edred! He had killer chemistry with Julia, Sabrina, Nicholas, Ruben, Chris, Carvens, Karli and basically everyone with whom he interacted. His singing and rapping voices were both equally good. I did prefer his Act 2 to his Act 1 though as I think he was more comfortable and really thrived in some of the more emotional numbers i.e. It’s Quiet Uptown in which he absolutely destroyed me. I really have no complaints, he did everything a great Hamilton needs to do and was such a nice guy at stage door. I hope he gets a lot more opportunities to go on in the future and maybe even a principal role in a company.

Julia K. Harriman as Eliza: I was so excited to see Julia as she was amazing in First Burn and the audios I’ve heard of her. Her journey as Eliza was so heartbreaking because she was genuinely so in love with Hamilton and was so betrayed and sad by the events of Act 2 :( she was a very good mix of an angry Eliza and a sad Eliza but she conveyed her  inner strength so well. I can’t even pick a favorite number for her because she wowed me in every song she sang. Plus, her voice is just out of this world and I would love to hear her do some recording in the future.

Nicholas Christopher as Burr: If you couldn’t tell from my review, his Burr was one of the best parts of the show. This role suits him perfectly and he was able really make you sympathize with Burr. It’s such a complex role to play and he did it with aplomb; he had a very distinct difference between Burr’s almost corny fake public persona and his inner ambition and drive. His final verse of Wait for It and his entire Room were religious experiences, plus he was so emotionally impactful in The World Was Wide Enough. I also loved that his Burr was so funny! Burr is usually not a comedic role but he had a much more subtle humor than the characters who are explicitly played for laughs and he had me cracking up. He had so many little moments of characterization that made the payoff in the end that much more worth it. He is now right up there with my all time favorite Burrs and I would kill to see him again.

Sabrina Sloan as Angelica: I knew of Sabrina before she was cast because of her run as Vanessa in ITH, and I was super excited as she was a Vanessa I really enjoyed. She so did not disappoint. I feel like the role of Angelica is being turned into a mostly “sassy” role and sassy can sometimes cross into bitchy or straight up unlikable, but Sabrina really made you feel all of Angelica’s emotions and that is exactly the kind of actress that my favorite character deserves. I obviously loved her in Satisfied because that song is the very thesis of Angelica as a character, but she was also so good in Reynolds Pamphlet and Take a Break. In the gran scheme of the play, Angelica does not get that much to do despite being one of the most well written and complex characters imo, but Sabrina forced you to be so invested in Angelica and feel her every feeling. I adored her.

Carvens Lissaint as Washington: Superb. For those of you who don’t know, Carvens used to tour as a poet before musical theatre and that honestly helped his performance so much. He knew exactly what words to emphasize to punch you right in the gut; his “not yet” was seriously so good how does one make two words so powerful. He has all the gravitas of CJack and has a very gospel-esque voice that he put to WORK in One Last Time. I was so thrilled to see him in this role and I can only wonder what his Burr and Laf/Jeff were like on Broadway.

Chris Lee as Lafayette/Jefferson: THE ACTUAL STAR OF THE SHOW. Listen I am a person who gets very annoyed by the emphasis of Jefferson as a character over the females and Burr in the fandom but god Chris Lee is a revelation I am so sad he is leaving but infinitely glad I was able to see him. Everything he did was so funny. In Act 1, if you looked in the background of any scene he was doing these little body roll dance moves and in Act 2 he just had this super jazzy and unbothered swagger when he walked which were both amazing. His singing is also super underrated as this is not a singing heavy part but he riffed all over the place in What’d I Miss and Story of Tonight. All of his little flourishes in the Cabinet Battles were just golden and he played so well off of Chaundre and Edred. Definitely my favorite Laf/Jeff so far.

Rubén J. Carbajal as Laurens/Philip: He has a man bun now! I enjoyed him more than I thought I would. I wasn’t particularly wowed by him in the bootleg but seeing him live was different. This role is really small but I think it can be one of the best parts of the show when really done well, and while I don’t think Ruben reached that level, he definitely didn’t fall into some of the tropes I really dislike for that character like the smiley death scene or the complete lack of chemistry between Laurens and Hamilton. (Seriously, the boy is 19 and dying I will never understand why some performers insist on making it seem like he’s all mature about it Philip should be TERRIFIED it irks me.)

Chaundre Hall-Broomfield as Mulligan/Madison: I thought he was awesome. His Mulligan was very brash and booming like Oak’s which I liked, and he went really hard during the Yorktown rap. His Madison was FANTASTIC against Chris’s Jefferson. He was such a sweet guy at the stage door too.

Karli Dinardo as Peggy/Maria: She was announced as an understudy right before the show started and she was good! She didn’t really wow me but it’s such a small part I was satisfied with what she did. I preferred her Maria to her Peggy because she was able to add some emotional nuance to the character. She has a really nice voice so that helped. It would have been cool to see Isa but I’m not disappointed, I thought Karli’s performance was super well done.

Peter Matthew Smith as King George III: Good! All King George’s blend together for me honestly but he was funny.

Ensemble: Every moment where the entire company sang together was heavenly and filled the theater so perfectly. The choreography of this whole show is just so great and they were all amazing dancers and added so much to every scene they were in. Appreciate ensemble 2kforever. Jennifer Geller was an excellent bullet and really drew your eye in every scene. Like I said before, Raven’s voice really stood out in some parts which I loved.

Stagedoor: It was kinda awkward because nobody really cheered or anything when the cast came out? But everyone was really nice. Julia, Chaundre, Karli, Edred, and Robbie Nicholson all came out and were super nice and took pictures. I was next to a little girl and they were all so sweet to her. Chaundre passed out flyers for their BCEFA event on Monday too which was cool. When Edred came out someone next to me said they cried and Edred was like “me too!” lol. But there was one girl next to me who was pushing and kept calling the male cast members “dad” and asking when Chris would come out which ugh. We left after Edred bc our ride was there and I think Chris came out after him bc I could hear cheering down the street rip.

If you’ve made it this far thanks for reading my rambles, I enjoyed it so much and couldn’t ask for a better first Hamilton cast! It went above my sky-high expectations and I cannot wait until I get another chance to see it, whenever in the future that may be.

[goldenlandfiascos]

thanks to everyone who sent me those nappi aus~ if anyone still wants to, by all means, i’m always happy to get some :) well, i guess now i’ll share an au idea lol. you know a trope i always loved as a kid when i watched all my favorite tv shows back in the day? body swaps. so imagine at like the family conference the year before the one where shit goes down, everyone of course was arguing and all that usual stuff and then maria is hanging out with her good friend beato and is all “uu i wish everyone would get along and be happy” and then beato is like “don’t worry, maria, i’ve got this” but of course she can’t do anything simple because beato has to go big.

so what does she do? puts them in each others’ shoes. literally. the siblings anyway since they’re the main ones causing a bunch of unnecessary bullshit. so they all wake up the next morning but what’s this? holy shit. Krauss is Eva, Eva is Krauss, Rudolf is Rosa, and Rosa is Rudolf! how the hell did this happen?? who knows, but they can’t even try and pull themselves together to figure out how to fix it as it’s time for everyone to leave the island~~ they’re the only ones who know and of course they can’t tell anyone else because who would even believe that?? so now they all have to start living each others’ lives as they try to figure out what to do, adapting to their new environments, communicating over phone calls, and trying not to let on that they’re not who they should be but of course the weird behavior doesn’t go unnoticed.

so how do things go for them? well, eva fucking despises the fact that she’s in the body of Krauss--Krauss--until she realizes that technically now she’s the future head so that’s great cause holy shit, that was her dream and she’s going to relish in it and hold it over krauss and prove how he really was unfit to be the head but as soon as you-know-who sees the brand new krauss there will be talk amongst everyone about how he’s suddenly really capable of taking over for the family. krauss seems to be kind of quiet about it which is strange but whatever, it’s absolute bliss. ...until she discovers her dad is actually dead?? holy shhhiiitttt wtf she can’t even do anything about it because right now it’s on her shoulders and there’s also the fact that all of krauss’ business attempts are kicking her in the fucking face. moon hotel resort?? she can’t even talk to anyone outside of the siblings about how she has dirt on krauss cuz it’s her fucking dirt atm and, oh yeah, her wife keeps complaining about having headaches and holy shit she’s crying again. also, apparently it was her idea to hide kinzo’s death in the first place??? well, she supposes she should at least enjoy the fact that jessica is her kid now because she always wanted a daughter and she used to dote on her when she was younger but jessie really doesn’t want to have anything to do with her parents so there goes that.

meanwhile krauss experiences first hand what it’s like to be treated unfairly due to simply being a woman though it could just be that he really does suck at what he does. he also doesn’t know what to do when his family asks him what’s for dinner. cooking?? he doesn’t know how to do that!! hideyoshi is confused when his wife who has always been an amazing cook is suddenly looking lost but he tells her it’s okay and that they can all just go out for the night. ...and many more nights to follow. krauss learns all the hottest tips on how a good husband should be from #1 hubby and even starts to grow closer to him as a result and george is a "pretty nice guy”.

somewhere else, rudolf is still flirting with women, it’s just now he doesn’t have to worry about jealous partner hovering over his shoulder and putting him in his place. well, at least someone seems to be taking the situation well. when the employees at Anti-Rosa call to ask where tf their boss is, he sweet talks them and just says he’ll be out for a while, hanging with some friends. when the call ends they just go “huh. i didn’t know she was into women.” but of course rudolf understands he can’t leave maria behind alone all the time, cause she is only like, fucking 9, so he often brings his new friends over and keeps it fairly pg until she’s sleeping or at school. maria is confused as to why her mom suddenly stopped bringing men over or going out with them and rather started bringing a bunch of different women each day but she’s just happy her mom is home more often and they all even play some nice board games together so rudolf becomes Cool Parent™

rosa is freaking out because of what rudolf is doing but in the end tells him to “just make sure he doesn’t do anything in front of maria.” she also has to learn to control her temper because ange isn’t actually her kid and if rudolf suddenly started lashing out against her, kyrie would be confused and also probably pissed and kyrie is scary when she’s pissed. when battler comes over every now and then he gives her somewhat of a cold shoulder?? rosa also keeps getting phone calls from a bunch of women she doesn’t know--not even from her new job--and she’s trying to tell them to stop calling but fuck! she’s at such a loss of what to do, she’s so confused and kyrie’s kind of hot but she keeps multiplying a bunch of numbers and yeah i’ve thought about this a lot for like half a year now

[erizee]

@roguepythia you asked for it ;)

PREPARE FOR THE LONGEST COMMENT I HAVE EVER WRITTEN FOR A SHOW

How is gotham the only show I have ever seen that acknowledges mothers can be abusive too lol UHHHHM WTF what the fuck is going on with Pyg's face Seriously, every single villain on this show is trying to out-extra each other. Some wear glittery suits, others get hair so high it doesn't fit into the frame anymore, and some dramatically murder some random dude to the tune of ave maria. And you know what?? It doesn't even shock me anymore. I love this show. Harper is alive!! :DD And her name sounds so much like Harvey's holy shit MY WIFE IS WEARING HER RED COAT AGAIN Ajsjdkcksjah I love how she's acting around everyone she's manipulating??? Pretending to be in love with Jim (I will continue to see it like that no matter what happens) to prevent him from parting from her is such a badass move I love her so much LEEEEEEE!!!! She's running the Narrows like a boss and Grundy and Ed are her sidekicks!!! I sorta expected her to be Ed's but it works so much better this way?? Uhmmmm Ed made a smart suggestion!! That boy isn't dumb and we all know it. Oh also, letting her kill the guy is exactly what Oswald would probably have done which means!!.... I'm not sure what it means exactly but it's definitely good for my ship Lee is so caring and nice and badass and I want to cry ;-; first she settles a dispute that would have ended in death without her and a second later she asks about a kids health. I just love her so much, being away from Jim is helping her so much Aand can we please talk about how Ed and Oswald literally changed hairstyles?? Ed does it over his forehead for some reason and Oswald slicks it back/up. Bitch wtf that is some soulmate level shit right there Supportive Ed giving Lee really smart advice about ruling is giving me feels about the Lee/Ed brotp and early season 3 as well. Fuck me up Look at Lee being a better person than Jimmyboy ever was! Contrary to him, she's not a hypocrite ❤️ Oswald looks so sad :( He knows Sofia has been tricking him and even has proof, but he still seems to hope the one friend he still has isn't betraying him (I'm not counting Martin because he's clearly his son guys) Yoooooo this "perfect explanation against suspicion" is exactly what happened with Maroni and Oswald in season 1. With the difference that Oswald actually cares about Sofia while Maroni only liked Oswald for the profits he brought him Sofia is beautiful and adorable and I wish I had a girlfriend like her, pretty and adorable instead of no girlfriend at all She keeps lying and Oswald looks so damn heartbroken :( This is what happens when you take every single person someone cares about away, they become terrified of betrayal He cared about her so much, let her in on his business etc and it was all fake. His heart is probably actually breaking right now (in a platonic way) And in the middle of this actually heartbreaking scene that has me on the verge of tears (partially because I'm super gay for Sofia, partially because I feel so bad for Oswald), Zsasz makes me laugh by reciting a fucking meme. This fucking show. It hurts so much to see Oswald trying to hold back his tears and smile gleefully while it's obvious his whole world just shattered. AND YET it gets even more painful once Sofia admits she lied. He doesn't even have the energy anymore to pretend to be happy Oh my fucking god Zsasz's face at "foot rub" Sofia is so done and I love her Yo what the shit the Dentist is the creepiest fucking character on the show so far If there is one thing Gotham truly adapted from the comics, it's the idea of villains constantly making puns about their theme I just love how the three characters Jim calls first class villains are Jerome, Fish and Oswald. Mention Fish more often please!!!! What do all the villains of the show have in common? Correct! They all want to be remembered in one way or another That was the funniest southern accent I've ever heard. It's so southern, even me, a german teenager who has never been to america, realises it's southern Lee and Ed, the two Badass Bros, on their way to fuck her rival up. Hell Yeah. I had to play that scene three times because I never understood what the guy said until I finally turned on subtitles and I could have sworn he said husband instead of has-been. Ed would make a great husband for a certain flightless bird I can promise you that Ed is being super smart?? Oh godddd if I wasn't gay for Sofia before, when she acted all sweet and adorable, I am definitely HELLA gay for this badass, openly manipulative, top of the game Sofia. Holy FUCK SHE FUCKING MEMORISED EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ABOUT OSWALD AND HIS EMPLOYEES SHE'S SMART AS FUCK Sofia making fun of the guy who's about to torture her, laughing into his face and threatening his family while somehow still remaining adorable and sweet as hell is my sexuality You know what really gets me about this scene?? The way she coldly threatens a whole family, isn't even a bit scared of a horror-dentist but can't watch some random dude getting his brain drilled. She's so badass and incredible and yet she still has compassion YESSSSSSS THE CRIME GIRLS ALL TEAMED UP well they're enemies but they share a scene!! Selina is wearing leather gloves just like Michelle Pfeiffer did oh my fucking godddd this is amazing I'm so fucking gay for mastermind!Sofia MARTIN IS SITTING ON OSWALD'S THRONE AND OSWALD WANTS HIM TO INHERIT HIS CLUB WHICH MEANS OSWALD IS ALREADY PLANNING TO RAISE HIM AS HIS OWN SON AND BE A DAD WHICH HE ALREADY IS AAAAAAAAAAAH Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I mean we all realised there was something fishy about the scene where Sofia catches Martin spying and suddenly the scene cuts off but I kinda hoped it was just weirdly shot BUT HEY at least it wasn't his decision!!! I feel so terrible for Martin :( He looks terrified to tell Oswald the truth, probably felt guilty as hell lying to him in the first place but ignored it to prove himself to Oswald, and he knows how angry Oswald can get. And he STILL tells him!! That's some father-son trust right there guys I love how Oswald collects himself before answering the phone. Martin really is helping him with his temper huh I don't know if I ever said it before, but I really love the new Barbara?? Probably my favourite version of the character yet. Calm, calculating, but still emotional and crazy. Love her Martin looks so fucking scared :(( Protect him please MORE SCENES FOR FOXY PLEASE Selina is literally the youngest in the room but she's the only one that notices they're about to die. Really makes you think And Sofia keeps playing Jim and Oswald against each other! She knows she'll probably die if she doesn't do something fast, so she pushes her plan along and asks Jim to finally take Oswald down. Even though this is about her victory, she makes it look like it's what Jim wants too (which it kind of is?) I'm almost amazed at how Jim is finally thinking with his brain instead of his dick or ego. Almost because that should be the logical thing to do I can't watch Martin cry :( He feels so terrible for Sofia using him, which isn't even his fault, and he apologises and cries and I just want to protect him forever :( I get why Oswald is pissed but you can't just threaten a kid with basically kicking him out of the family But still, I love that even when Oswald is pissed at Martin he is patient enough to let him finish writing his answer without interrupting. that's better parenting than most parents do when they're pissed at their kids AND even though Oswald calls Martin a "little spy" he still cares enough to keep him away from the actual violence. Oswald?? More like Dadwald. Sassy Oswald is still the best. Lol as if he needed to be there to have someone killed The way Jim's and Sofia's scene was cut off it seemed like he considers her plan and will probably follow it but??? I'm pleasantly surprised?? I love how done Oswald is with Jim when Zsasz leaves I mean same This!!! Is the only kind of Gobblepot I am happy to accept. They're still enemies and they threaten each other etc but they have a common enemy and they work together to defeat them. This is some good shit right there This is also the first time this season I actually like Jim. He should threaten people like that more often. Ed and Lee fucking turn to each other in the exact same second this is the best friendship on this show Ed is sassy and witty and Lee is just like "!! this is my best friend and we're sassing this dude together" I love their friendship so much Remember how I said how gay I am for Sofia?? Add Lee too please she's so amazing and have you seen how she looks in this episode?? This whole season?? fuck i'm so gay No matter how genuine Sofia looks just before she kisses Jim, I will keep in mind that she looked just as genuine in her friendship with Oswald and no matter what happens, I will keep holding on to my hope that she does not love him. She's too good for him anyways More female-female scenes!! Oh god I hope this doesn't mean Harper will die I don't want that OH FUCK MARTIN BETTER BE OKAY The scene with the sirens and Martin in the car perfectly show their most important character traits this season?? Selina is the one that observers and notices, Tabitha is the brute that doesn't really bothers with people unless she likes them and Barbara, even though she's calmer now, is still the emotional one. Did I meantion how much I love their team-up?? For one terrible second I thought Zsasz had been working for Sofia the whole time and came to rescue her. I'm SO glad I was wrong Oh Jimmy you should have known Sofia won't let herself be "put on a train" just like that. I'm so damn happy Zsasz didn't kill Harper I cannot believe Oswald was willing to let Sofia live even though she betrayed him etc but as soon as Martin is in danger, he flips and is prepared for a full on war against her Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck Oswald is so worried for Martin :( I am dying and I hope Martin isn't OH FUCK SAVAGE that was the sickest burn holy shit Aaaand I also just remembered how sweet Gertrud and Elijah were and I miss them so much OSWALD GIVES UP HIS POWER FOR THE THIRD TIME NOW FOR SOMEONE HE LOVES AAAAAH Dadwald ;-; he loves Martin so much and Martin knows it and I just want to cry Let himself say these things to Ed next please The melody is the same one that played when Ed threw away the pills in 3x15. Oswald better not do what I fear he'll do BITCH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MARTIN BETTER NOT BE DEAD OR I'LL LITERALLY SUE Eddie, honey, sweetie pie, you have always been at your best mental heights when you were a sidekick. Sorry to tell you buddy but you are literally the best at being a sidekick, even though you are an amazing villain when you're alone as well Ed's brain damage is psychological!!! It's psychosomatic!!!! It's just him not being able to cope with losing against Oswald!!!!!!! Boiiii this implies some amazing things for the future I KNEW Ed's suggestions were smart!!! And Lee knows it too!!! The fact that it's more important to Ed that Lee lied than the fact that he's still brilliant is so telling tbh. It perfectly mirrors the way he reacted when Isabella got killed: He didn't really care about her death in and of itself, but the fact that Oswald lied to him for weeks. Here it's the exact same thing, just with less death and suffering. Even Lee's response mirrors Oswald's motivation! She was afraid of him becoming the Riddler again, aka leaving her, and Oswald was afraid of Ed choosing Isabella, aka leaving him!! It probably won't happen, but I really hope this will lead to Ed reflecting on what really broke him and Oswald apart. This may be the first time in all four seasons someone tells Ed they like him the way he is now. Kristen wanted him to be more “manly” first and less murdery later. Oswald wanted him to be who he was with the added factor of being in love with him (which he was, come on) and maybe more murdery. Lee is the first person that likes Ed the way he is without wanting to change him in any way and even says so. This is what true friendship looks like guys. SHE CALLS HIM HER FRIEND AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO CRY How long has it been since Ed had any friends?? A whole season for sure, right? Before Oswald, there was no one at all who was an actual friend for him. And now Lee comes along, supports him and lets him do what he does best and their friendship is so pure I want to cry. The "you didn't get told no a lot as a kid" thing from Barbara kinda fucks me up a bit tbh. Firstly, because Sofia probably got told no too much, since approval is literally the reason she does all this. Secondly, because I remember how terrible Barbara's parents were and how they called her a pig and all that. The both got told no way too often which is why theyre doing what theyre doing now This is the first time I could sorta analyse Barbara nice MARTIN IS ALIVE!!!! I'm so fucking glad holy shit HOLY FUCK WAIT A SECOND does this mean The Penguin's reputation as a gross soulless bastard comes from everyone thinking he murdered his own adopted kid??? BOIIII that means the thing everyone knows him for is actually fake and what really went down is Oswald saving the kid's life and giving up his dream of raising him just to protect him!! LOVE IS ABOUT SACRIFICE SUCKERS OSWALD CALLS MARTIN "MY BOY" OH MY GODDDDDDDD HE MIGHT AS WELL SIGN THE ADOPTION PAPERS NOW Oswald is about to cry and Martin is already crying and neither of them wants to be parted but Oswald cares too much about Martin to risk his death like he did with his mother by keeping him at his side. This shit is beautiful and I'm sobbing what the fuck FINALLY OSWALD GETS THE HUG HE DESERVES THEY BOTH LOOK LIKE THEY'RE LOSING WHAT THEY LOVE MOST IN THE WORLD So let me get this ‘straight’: Oswald is willing to give up the life he dreams of to make sure Martin is safe? He's willing to let someone he loves go to protect them?? BOY Oswald has grown so much over the course of this whole show HOWS THAT FOR "and you won't change" ED???? All the pieces for a renewed friendship between them are there! Ed is less obsessive, has found friends who can keep him from doing something rash like, I don't know, murdering his best and only friend and understood why Lee lied the same way Oswald did. Oswald learned to love even more selflessly than he did in 3x14 when he was already willing to sacrifice his life for Ed's by sending Martin away, thus proving Ed's theory about Oswald never being able to love that way wrong once and for all. NOW GET THEM TOGETHER INTO THE SAME SPOT PLEASE AND MAKE THEM TALK THEIR SHIT OUT My favourite plottwist is "we're raising the ratings with straightbaiting so we won't get cancelled and say someone will come into Oswald's life and change his view on love just before introducing Sofia, but actually Oswald will just adopt an adorable mute kid" Okay but where are my 20k word fanfics about Martin coming back to Gotham as an adult/teen to be a family again Zsasz is sceptical of sending Martin away but as soon as Oswald calls him is top man he agrees lol There was a guy called Laszlo/Lazlo at the beginning of the first season btw I'd literally die if Pyg was him You idiot, have you never seen Megamind???? If you don't see someone when you look into a cell, you don't open it and check wtf that's literally the easiest way to escape guys OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK ED'S HALLUCINATIONS OF HIS DARK SELF ARE BACK!!! I wonder if Lee accidentally triggered them by saying Ed is who he was before he went crazy fuck You know you spend too much time in school when you're too distracted by the missing comma in Pyg's blood message to find it scary

TL;DR: Sofia is hot as fuck Lee is hot as fuck and the best friend ever Lee and Ed are brotp forever and I'm so damn glad he finally found friends after all the shit he went through Oswald is heartbroken over losing Sofia's friendship and then over losing his son and so am I This season's women are sooo damn badass please let me marry them all Martin HAS TO come back!!!

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 11 – WHAT THE FUCK

In which Thanksgiving happens.

Sounds good? No, it doesn’t. But it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

I was not Ready.

I was a sweet, sweet summer child.

WHAT THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED.

I WAS NOT THE FUCK READY.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S BEEN FOUR HOURS SINCE READING AND I STILL CAN’T FUCKING D E A L WITH THIS.

Alright. Hold up, hold up.

I will get to the absolute FUCKERY that is this TRAINWRECK OF A CHAPTER in a minute.

But first – shopping.

           Kevin stopped sniping about the road trip when he realized he could get something out of it.

They go to Exites, which is kind of dream candy land for people with Exy boners, to get Neil a few new racquets, just because they can.

To be honest, I skimmed through most of this bit in order to get to the fuckery that was promised to me at Nicky’s house.

TLDR; Kevin is buying Neil heavier racquets in order to fulfil his quest of becoming Surpreme Exy Master. What else is new.

Also, how do you pronounce “Exites”? Exits? Exit-ee-s? Exités? Wtf is this word.

There’s one bit that got my attention, though: A prime fucking Andreil Moment for the books, right there in between the racks of Exy racquets – how fitting, considering the Hot Bod Meets Racquet Incident from when they met.

           “Here’s a real question: how have you survived this long when you’re so violently self-destructive?”

Hooo boy, it’s Real Talk Time.

           He wondered why no one else had caught on, or if people noticed and just didn’t care enough to say it. (…) The focus was on what a danger he was. People talked about his trial and how it saved them from Andrew. No one said what they were doing to save Andrew from himself.

But Neil :’)))))))) noticed :’)))))))) and cares :’)))))))))) ma BOYS

           “When they finally take your medicine away, who are you going to hurt, really?”

           Andrew laughed. “I’m remembering why I don’t like you.”

           “I’m surprised you forgot.”

           “I didn’t,” Andrew said. “I just got distracted for a moment there.”

Mhmm, distracted by what exactly, mon ami.

           Andrew put a hand over Neil’s mouth to shut him up and said, “Liar. But that’s what makes you interesting. It’s also what makes you dangerous. I should know better by now. Maybe I’m not as smart as I thought I was. Should I be disappointed or amused?”

Seriously, all later drama aside, let’s not forget what a fucking Andreil chapter this is. Like. AM I READING THIS SHIT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES.

           The answer was there, right out of reach, close enough Neil could feel it, but too far for him to make sense of. Maybe Andrew felt it too, because even in his drugged haze he knew to shut up. The smile he flashed Neil mocked them both at that near-miss.

For real AM I HALLUCINATING THIS TO GIVE ME SOMETHING NICE TO MAKE UP FOR MY INEVITABLE BREAKDOWN LATER OR???

And then Kevin and Important Exy Business comes in to ruin the moment. Shame.

They get Neil’s racquets, they pay about the price of a nice sports car for them (“If Coach has a problem with the number he can take it up with me, but he should know how expensive I am by now.”, jfc Kevin chill it with the Extra will you), and then they are finally going to the Hemmick’s place.

           From the outside, the house looked perfect. The lawn and vibrant green and neatly trimmed, the cars in the driveway were new and clean, and the house was a pale blue with dark shutters.

Meaning: There are at least three bodies hidden in our basement.

           Andrew gave [the racquet] an experimental twirl, judging the weight of it, then propped it against his shoulder and started for the other cars. (…)

           “He’s got a really shiny car for a minister,” Andrew said. “I’m going to humble it.”

Bahahaha. I actually had to laugh at that. Please do.

Nicky does not agree with me, however, and takes the racquet from him, leaving it in the entrance hall of his parents’ house.

Speaking of: PARENTS.

Nicky’s mum can’t even tell her own nephews apart, which is just honestly a great fucking start.

           “Hello, Maria. How very, very nice to see you again, I’m sure. Very interesting, you letting us back in your house and all. I thought you were going to file a restraining order against me. What happened, did you lose your nerve?”

For some reason, I dislike Andrew’s sass as much as I like Neil’s. His drugged sass, that is – nothing against a good Minyard one-liner. But I still find his mock-cheery, vicious friendliness more uncomfortable and at times even annoying than anything else.

And Nicky’s dad?

About as cool a dude as an uptight bigoted Christian minister can get.

Which is to say - not fucking cool.

           Even across the room Neil could see the tense set to his shoulders (…) Neil hoped that Luther was uncomfortable because he intended to relax old prejudices.

I will bet you literally any amount that he fucking does not.

           “Are you religious?”

           “No,” Neil said. (…)

           “Why not?”

           “I’d rather not get into it,” Neil said. “I don’t want to start a fight.”

           “That’s a first,” Andrew said with a laugh.

I was about so say the same damn thing. Like – Neil “Attitude Problem” Josten, Neil “Attitude Problem” Josten, Neil “Attitude Problem” Josten – doesn’t want to start a fight?

It follows the most awkward meal I’ve encountered in a long time – polite conversation, forced as shit, with pauses in between and exactly no one enjoying themselves.

Then –

           “You’re going back to Germany?” Maria shot her husband a startled look.

           Nicky’s jaw tightened, but he looked his mother in the eye when he said, “Yes. Erik’s career is there. I wouldn’t ask him to leave just for me, and I wouldn’t want him to, anyway. I loved living in Germany. It’s an amazing place. You should visit us sometime.”

Nicky my boy I am so proud of you. I am seriously so proud right in this very moment.

Looking your mom, who has basically kicked you out for being who you are, right in the eye and refusing to be anything other than who you are takes serious, serious guts. <3

           “We cannot condone sin,” Maria said.

           “You don’t have to love the sin,” Nicky said, “but you’re supposed to forgive and love the sinner. Isn’t that what faith is about?”

           “Faith is about following our Lord’s creed,” Luther said.

My eyes are rolling so far back in my skull they actually hurt.

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

           “We have committed to repairing this family.” (…)

           “Enlighten us,” Andrew said. (…) “If the first step isn’t tolerance, where does a pair of bigots begin in fixing a mess like this?”

           Luther met Andrew’s stare with a calm one of his own. “With reparations for past mistakes. That is why you are here.”

With these cryptic words, Luther and Andrew disappear into the kitchen after dinner for some Fun Talk Times, of which we hear exactly nothing. Then, Luther comes back – Andrew doesn’t.

And when Neil inquires after what’s taking Andrew so long – that is when I start understanding why everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, has warned me about this chapter.

           “In fact, I think it’s promising he has been gone this long. He’ll come back when he’s finished speaking with Drake.”

           Neil’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

SAME, NEIL.

FUCKING WHAT.

           “This dinner was not originally our idea,” Luther said. “One of Andrew’s former foster brothers came to us for help. They parted on unfriendly terms years ago, and it’s been so long since they last spoke he’s afraid their relationship is irreparably damaged. It made us think of our own familial problems and we were inspired to reach out again.”

This was the moment I started gripping my book so tight I almost ripped it, and did not let go until the chapter was over.

Neil gets his massive racquet, gets Aaron, and gets the fuck up the stairs to find Andrew.

And Andrew he finds.

I’m not quoting anything graphic here because we all fucking know what happens and I don’t wanna make anyone read that again but WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCVK

At first I’d just thought they’d had a fight, shared a few punches, and then it HIT ME and I was SCREAMING, I HAVE NOT STOPPED SCREAMING FOR FOUR HOURS NOW WHAT THE F U C K.

And if all that wasn’t enough –

           Neil saw too much blood and too much skin. He knew what he was seeing, knew what this meant, but couldn’t believe it yet. That didn’t stop him from leaping at Drake.

           Aaron was faster.

AARON. FUCKING AARON.

WHAT ARE YOU THE FUCK DOING WHAT HAVE YOU DONE OH MY G O D.

THIS BOOK JUST WENT FROM ‘EDGY AND ANGSTY WITH A DASH OF IMPLIED VIOLENCE’ TO ‘ACTUALLY ILLEGALY VIOLENT AS IN FUCKING M U R D E R’ IN THE SPAN OF THREE PAGES.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Andrew wore only his shirt as he lay facedown on the mattress. He was covered in blood and a hundred shadows that would darken to terrible bruises. He held onto the headboard like he was glued to it, and he was laughing.

Cue the moment my heart fucking broke.

           “Got quiet all of a sudden,” Andrew said, sounding surprised. (…) “Oh, oh, that’s unpleasant. I am not a fan of this at all.” (…) Andrew’s grin was wide and savage as he mocked his own pain.

Andrew. Andrew. ANDREW.

I cannot even put my feelings into words, just – ANDREW.

           The strangled noise Aaron made was his best attempt at Andrew’s name. Andrew, who’d barely acknowledged Aaron’s existence in the entire time Neil had known them, looked immediately to his brother. (…)

           “Andrew,” Aaron said, desperate and frightened. He held onto Andrew like he thought Andrew would disappear if he let go.

AARON. Andrew. Aaron. AARON AND ANDREW.

This is the first time I see them as brothers, not just as two people who happen to look the same. They didn’t even look the same in my head before.

Now they do, and I can picture them clear as day, sitting on a blood-splattered bed, two identical small blonde figures clinging onto each other as if their lives depend on it.

Don’t ask me if I am fucking okay. Don’t.

           Andrew touched Aaron’s temple where he himself was injured as if he expected to find an identical injury there. “Did he touch you?”

HOW IS THAT YOUR MAIN PRIORITY RIGHT NOW.

I have a very, very clear idea of how that is his main priority right now. And I am NOT FCUKING LIKING IT WHAT THE SHITS.

Oh, look – the rest of the family is here.

You know what’s also here?

The fucking pinpoint moment I start going from ‘I guess I like Andrew he has cool moments and he’s an interesting character’ to ‘I LOVE THIS MURDER MANIAC KITTEN MORE THAN MYSELF AND I WANT TO PROTECT HIM ALWAYS’

           “Don’t ask what. You know better. (…) Or do you still think this is a big misunderstanding? Go on, tell me again how I’m too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly love and affection. Tell me this is natural.”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED, PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME, WHAT THE FUCK.

           “Speaking of misunderstandings, am I remembering this wrong, or didn’t you promise me you would talk to Cass? You told me she wasn’t going to foster any more children after me, but apparently she’s had six more since I left juvie. (…) How many do you think were in her house when Drake was home between deployments?”

NO

NO FUCK NO, IS THIS FOR REAL WHAT!!!!!!!!! THE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

           “Now you let him into your house,” Andrew said. “You put him under the same roof as your son, as my brother. After everything I did to keep them away from each other?”

This is decidedly NOT GOING INTO A DIRECTION I’M LIKING.

They didn’t know. They didn’t know about all this shit, nobody knew, this has happened so many times before, and nobody knew, and the only person who did know, the only person Andrew opened up to, told him he had misunderstood being raped.

I am going to be fucking sick.

           Andrew peeled his armbands off one at a time and dropped them into Neil’s lap.

           He said something, but Neil didn’t hear him. The pale shade of scarred skin was too familiar and too startling for him not to react.

Sorry to disappoint – I’d love to be all shocked about this, except I’ve seen a billion pieces of fanart with his scars, and I also kinda had the idea myself already.

Not shocked does not mean not emotional, however. ANDREW.

A N D R E W.

The chapter is over. They’re waiting for the police and the ambulance, and the chapter is done, and I had to stuff my arm into my mouth so many times to keep me from screaming.

I have never loved Andrew more than in this very minute. Never. I am now sold on this character.

He could probably bench-press me with his attitude alone and definitely does not need my protection, but I will still protect the absolute everloving fuck out of him.

I need a moment. Or fifty.

Nicki out.

[bellringermal]

«She fancied Gehrman, unaware of his curious "mania", but was left heartbroken when Gehrman couldn't, or wouldn't, reveal his feeling towards her.» WTF, fextralife?!

Thank you fextralife! ~♡No okay let’s be serious for a second and put aside my fangirl heart that craves for the damn romance and let’s look at the facts, shall we?

Let’s begin with the Hair Ornament and how the Doll reacts to it.

The item is described as “ordinary” and does look as such. This is not something fit for a woman of noble lineage like Maria is, is the sort of gift that a middle-class Yharnamite would give his fiancee. In fact, I would say that the Red Jewelled Brooch that Gascoigne gave to his wife looks way fancier and in line with what a Cainhurst noble would wear than the plain, ordinary hair ornament.

Giving little tokens of affection before the marriage was a no-no for Victorian lovebirds unless the couple openly expressed the intention to get married and both families agreed to the arrangement.

In Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, Marianne Dashwood’s spontaneous behaviour is considered unorthodox and her (only rumoured!) clandestine engagement with John Willoughby is heavily frowned upon. One of her biggest ‘sins’ was to have sent John a bunch of letters and locks of her hair that the young man respectfully gives back to her before marrying another woman.

So, if we take for granted that Yharnam’s courtship customs are similar to those of the 19th century’s I think it’s safe to assume that if an unmarried man gave something as cute and personal as a hairpin to an unmarried woman he was clearly saying “hey babe I like you. But I haven’t the slightest idea of what I’m doing and I should’ve finish that “how to pick up fair maidens” book before doing anything on my own” :P

Of course, we can’t take Victorian society and expect Yharnam’s to be exactly the same because of all the obvious differences such as the clearly more prominent role of women in society, (Amelia is the highest authority of the Church, many hunters are women, Viola, though traditionally married, takes instant action to help her husband etc) but I still think it to be a good lens through which seeing the game’s world and it surely gives some extra credit to Gehrman’s conscious decision to hide his feelings from Maria.

Now, on the subject of Plain Doll, if we gave her the Hairpin she says this:

What… what is this? I-I can’t remember, not a thing, only… I feel… A yearning… something I’ve never felt before… What’s happening to me? Ahh… Tell me hunter, could this be joy? Ahh…

And as she speaks, they even took the time to actually animate her so that she would wipe her tears and gave us the Tear Stone:

Now, the dialogue itself is enough for me to say that Maria had feelings for Gehrman because there’s _no way_ that mere admiration and/or respect for the guy would make her surrogate, who only shares a few, blurred memories with her, cry tears of joy. But hey, we could say that since Plain Doll was “made” to love her creator her perception could be warped by what Gehrman wants her to feel towards him. So, let’s read what the lore has to say about this ;) let’s turn the Tear Stone into a Blood Gem!

Created from a shining silver doll tear, this blood gem is a quiet but unfaltering friend that continually restores HP, the life essence of a hunter. Perhaps the doll’s creator had wished for just such a friend, albeit in vain

BOOM! “Albeit in vain”… and here it is why I think Gehrman doesn’t talk to/doesn’t care about and is openly dismissive of the Doll. She is not the woman he used to know but a pale imitation. She doesn’t have Maria’s memories, she is nothing like the hunter that fought by his side, the strong and kind woman he secretly fell in love with. Before Moon Presence brought the Doll to life, Gehrman poured love and care into her creation that most likely happened after Maria’s passing. All item descriptions related to the Doll include this bit:

“A deep love for the doll can be surmised by the fine craftsmanship of this article, and the care with which it was kept.“ It borderlines on mania, and exudes a slight warmth.”

Which once again, reinforce my idea that my boi Gehrman cared for Maria not _just_ because she was hot. He doesn’t dress her up in revealing clothes nor does he keep her hunter attire while retaining elements of it such as the brooch and her boots. Maria killed herself after renouncing her life as a hunter, her conscience forever stained by what she and her teacher had done to the inhabitants of Fishing Hamlet. Dressing the doll in her hunter set would have been an even greater insult to her memory. Gehrman’s decision to dress her up in the seemly clothes of a respectable woman of the time is actually pretty tasteful if you ask me. May look strange and “unnecessary cute” to us modern-day players but that’s how women used to dress. Take a look at this picture of Mia Wasikowska’s in this movie adaptation of Jane Eyre. The reason why I pick this movie is its director, Cary Fukunaga who also directed the first season of the award-winning HBO series True Detective. (a show inspired by R.W Chambers and Lovecraft’s nihilism & cosmic dread.) This too is a pretty dark and spooky rendition of Charlotte Brontë’s classic.

But no more talking about Gehrman, let’s get back to Maria:

Among the first hunters, all students of Gehrman, was the lady hunter Maria. This was her hunter’s [cap/garb/gloves/trousers], crafted in Cainhurst. Maria is distantly related to the undead queen, but had great admiration for Gehrman, unaware of his curious mania.  [Maria’s Hunter Set]

This description tells us a lot of things, but most of them are irrelevant to the subject of this analysis. I could go on for hours pointing out the similarities of her set to the Knight’s and other Cainhurst fashion but let’s not do that. What matters here is that Maria, despite being of noble blood, had no social prejudice towards her mentor (and I would assume, any of her fellow hunters.) and, just like Gwyn’s firstborn, “had respect only for arms and nothing else” :P

I wouldn’t say that the reason why she was heartbroken was the fact that Gehrman never revealed his feelings to her (as mentioned in the ask) but that she idolized him and the cause of the Byrgenwerth Hunters as a whole and couldn’t bear the guilt once the college’s research pushed their actions too far. Like Ludwig who had an unshakable faith in the ways of the Healing Church, Maria had faith in and was possibly in love with Gehrman and couldn’t believe that the man she admired so deeply would blindly obey Byrgenwerth’s orders.

“Go and kill those fishmen who did nothing wrong and aren’t bothering anyone. Oh, and be sure to rip that umbilical cord from the body of thad Great One that washed ashore.”

“Yep.” No question asked.

THAT’s why Maria felt betrayed. It hasn’t anything to do with Gehrman’s “mania”. In my headcanons Gehrman’s total obedience to Willem is motivated but there’s no solid proof in canon so let’s just say that Gehrman was an idiot who never questioned the orders from above :/

And now, let’s get to the final, FUNDAMENTAL point of this analysis: did Maria love Gehrman back?

Yes she did. Why else would anyone want to take a look at any picture one last time before killing themselves? To remember what they lost or could’ve had if things were different.

Why am I 100% sure that Gehrman is in that picture? Because in canon we don’t know the name of any other member of the Old Hunters. It’s just the two of them: Gehrman and Maria, the only ones with faces and backstory in a crowd of faceless, bloodthirsty mannequins.

Here you go, thanks Fextralife.

[omgkatsudonplease]

#helpless (hamilton, a writeup)

okay so tl;dr? i cried. i frickin sat there with two teardrops rolling down my face and chin and neck and i couldn’t frickin wipe it away because i was so invested (and also i didn’t want to ruin my makeup) and it was just. it was so good guys. so good.

gushing about the staging under the cut

listen. we all know what a piece of musical genius this show is. none of that prepared me for how beautiful the staging was. oh my god. 

so the set has two storeys, with the top part like a wooden gallery. there are stairs leading down. the stage itself is open, and there’s a circular portion that rotates. it’s friggin beautiful. they really occupy the space. 

everyone is deeply involved in the show. seriously, the real mvps are the dancers of the ensemble? they’re in the background vocals, obviously, but they’re also, like, in every single song. we really lose some of that just listening to the soundtrack, because it’s one thing to hear a lot of ensemble vocals and it’s another to see them on stage, collaborating with the leading cast. they are everything – they are congresspeople and students and doctors and british and american soldiers. one of them plays a medic twice. they are a hurricane, they are the masses, they are the eyes of history watching and witnessing the leads. this is especially relevant in songs where the ensemble mostly appears up in the gallery, looking down at the events unfolding below. 

alexander was like, somehow even more extra in person? from where i was sitting, i actually was like really close to the stage, so i could see every detail of his earnest expressions. he’s so open and frank and passionate about everything.

as a contrast, i think the way burr was staged really drives out the tragedy of his arc. this is a story about hamilton, but burr is also very deeply entwined in that story as a sort of rival figure. but really, for burr this staging gives us the feeling that he’s kinda introverted and anxious – especially when he sings about the room where it happens. that switch from an impassive third-person “this is the room where it happens” to the more personal “i want to be in the room where it happens” really hammered in the sense that he cares. very deep down. about being excluded from the narrative. 

the doubling of hercules/madison and lafayette/jefferson wasn’t apparent to me when i first listened to the soundtrack, because i don’t tend to keep track of artist names when i’m listening, but seeing it on stage was really interesting? because in this narrative, lafayette returns to france…. and then jefferson comes in from france. which is kind of a stroke of genius. and then the idea of having hamilton’s closest friends in act 1 as his enemies in act 2 is also very interesting in a meta way. same for peggy becoming maria reynolds and mr schuyler becoming mr reynolds. and of, course, laurens doubling as phillip really hurt because in a very meta way, hamilton loses a guy he loves twice, not to mention laurens shoots a man in the first duel that comes back to shoot him in the penultimate one.

for reference, i cried when phillip died.

there’s also a lot of turns of phrase that i hadn’t noticed in the soundtrack that got really brought out in the staging. for example, the repeated phrase of “helpless” in “say no to this”, hearkening back to the song in the first act. then the repeats of the number ten are elaborated by the presence of the ensemble cast forming a line between the duel contestants. 

it is interesting that the ensemble is usually in white, with various bodices that are either corset or waistcoat-styled. most of the feminine-presenting ensemble members wore both waistcoat and corset bodices, and sometimes attached full skirts to the corset ones, or – in one instance, wearing long coat-dresses that hung open at front so you could see their breeches. there’s an entire discussion on the fluidity and performativity of gender in hamilton, especially since it’s the feminine-presenting actors who did a lot of that mixed-gender costuming. i’d like to say it’s probably due to the fact that women’s roles in this time period were fairly limited, while this modern retelling of the story seeks to defy those set limits while also making some level of commentary on the lack of women in the narrative of the founding fathers. this is supported by the last song ending with eliza’s contribution to the preservation of her husband’s legacy, and with hamilton visibly taking a step back to allow eliza into the front and spotlight.

now i’ll talk about some specific song stagings that really stood out to me:

my shot - the visual pun of everyone taking a shot during the song

farmer refuted - hamilton literally climbs onto the soapbox and there’s a little tussle – he’s really heckling this guy. like the song makes it obvious he’s giving the guy grief, but in the staging it’s even more obvious. 

you’ll be back - you know how there’s a ton of meta about how this is one of the few songs sung without the entire ensemble’s involvement, because the musical is about democracy, and king george’s solos are about the monarchy where it’s rule by one person? yeah. that, and when he says “everybody!” the ensemble does in fact appear, but they remain static in formation in the background, their hands locked together like they’re at etiquette school. very good visual representation of the tyranny of absolute monarchy. 

helpless - the passage of time in the circular movement of the stage (helpful in the analysis of the next song). eliza collecting letters from her sisters and the ensemble and preserving them in a box.

satisfied - i almost teared up at this song because the staging is so beautiful. it is #flashback goals. i know in the song we get a sense of that in the rewind music, but in the staging it is made all the more powerful because they literally do rewind – the stage turns in the opposite direction, and then angelica sings through the events of helpless. it is the stage version of those special effects shots in movies where the protagonist is the only one moving and the rest of the image and characters are frozen in place. but in this sense, it is extra beautiful because you know there weren’t multiple cameras in place to catch this 3D static movement. we see angelica flip the script on helpless, immediately rewinding and remixing the story so that a song we had just heard through eliza’s point of view is now being told through hers. it is literally an instant remixed fanfiction of the previous song. and it hurts so goddamn much.

ten duel commandments - i mentioned earlier about the ensemble forming a barrier between the duel opponents as the “ten steps” they take away from one another? yeah.

(i’d like to mention here that right before we went to intermission there was that bit about laurens’s death? there were lots of little bridge moments in the show with snippets of existing thematic songs and lyrics that i don’t recall being on the soundtrack. so yeah. and also how hamilton looked at laurens like he was seeing a ghost, while laurens sings. it’s really sad.)

what’d i miss? - jefferson’s return actually establishes his character as a bright, exuberant and pompous playboy character – but you probably figured that out from the soundtrack. the staging hammers it in by having the ensemble members dancing like they’re vegas showgirls, playing with white gloves as they do. 

take a break - phillip raps, and eliza beatboxes, and it’s fuckin adorable.

say no to this - first off, big mood for umfb. like hella big mood? second, this was one of the many instances in which the ensemble was more of a glimpse into the mental processes of the lead character singing. meet me inside was another one – the fairly claustrophobic presence of the ensemble in this, shouting “no” the entire time, really reinforces how much of a pickle hamilton had been in at the time. also, maria reynolds wears red. which is such a huge statement – red means desire and danger in costume designer-speak, so yeah (-cough- the red outfit in umfb that viktor used to skate to belle? ayyyyyy)

the room where it happens - once again, another instance of the ensemble acting as someone’s mental process. this time it really reinforced burr’s anxiety at being excluded deliberately (i feel like washington dismissing him in act 1 really did a number on him haha). 

the adams administration - king george was sitting through a portion of the opening of the adams administration section of the musical. i’m wondering if that’s really part of the staging, since burr (i’m pretty sure it was burr? could have been madison) looked at him like wtf are you doing here

hurricane - the really gorgeous visual hurricane that the ensemble creates through the rotating stage. the ensemble are also responsible for setting up the scenes. 

the reynolds pamphlet - the downpour of papers was an excellent transition into the next song. also, king george was seen reading the pamphlet in the gallery and then tossing his own at hamilton before leaving.

(can i just say, the presence of more than just the ensemble in the back during many of the songs was really neat? seeing leads having cameos up in the gallery was really fun to notice)

burn - another song that was sung without the ensemble, but it’s thematically fitting given how private this moment was, and how the lack of “witnesses” in the form of the ensemble really hammers in the concept of erasing oneself from the narrative 

it���s quiet uptown - i started crying at the end of the last song and all throughout this one. it’s got the ensemble in mourning colours (hamilton starts wearing black and remains wearing nothing but black for the rest of the show; there’s another dissertation in the way the colours of his outfit are symbolic somehow – green outfit for most of act 2 (complementing eliza’s green outfits too i suppose) black after phillip’s death, brown coat in the beginning – but i digress) walking along the rotating stage, with eliza in the middle. she doesn’t look at hamilton. he skirts around her a lot, never touching her (incidentally, in the previous song, he jerks his hand from hers after phillip’s death, because he’s not sure if he can touch her to comfort her, even in her grieving for their son. it’s really heartbreaking), sort of talking at her for a good portion of the song until she puts her hand back into his, and sings the line “it’s quiet uptown” – her only line in this song. it’s like that moment in a narrative where the breaking of someone’s silence is a notable turn in the plot (-cough- “enjoying the view?” -cough-). and then she takes his arm, as the ensemble sings about forgiveness, and i’m dead.

(i wonder if they really cried onstage during that moment in it’s quiet uptown? i like to think i’m not alone in this. like i listen to that song a lot – it’s literally one of my faves because i’m an angst gremlin – but i think i can only cry at things once. the first time i heard it i cried, and now, the first time i see it, i cried as well. there’s something about the first time you hear that song, i guess…)

(jefferson: can we get back to politics? madison: -sobbing, wiping at his eyes- yes, please….)

the bit where hamilton is appealed to for his opinion on the candidates burr and jefferson, his lines for a good portion of the beginning are just “it’s quiet uptown” like he’s desperately trying to stay out of it. i’m sure this is in the soundtrack. it really gets hammered in as he sings it from the gallery, content to remain aloof.

the bit right before hamilton is shot, when he has his giant monologue about remembering death and all of that. this is the third time he does it. it’s like he has flash forwards before, and now he’s getting a flashback to those other moments when he monologued like that before. the ensemble helps him recreate those moments, and he also sees people on the “other side” in the gallery, dressed all in white. eliza, on the other hand, places herself in between hamilton and burr, like she is the last thing he sees before he is shot.

the world was wide enough - “dying is easy. living is harder.” the way burr stumbles through living after hamilton dies really reinforced that line. ouch. and i guess hamilton ascending into the gallery was pretty symbolic, too.

and yeah, i think i talked about the ending of the final song, too. this is really a show where it feels like every single decision, every single move and lighting change and musical shift and costume change, and blocking – everything has some deeper meaning to it. i don’t know how much of this was intended by @linmanuel, and i feel like you’d really have to see the show several more times to find everything symbolic. this is all i can pull back out of my head from this showing, and i really hope no one takes this as a substitute for seeing the show. my words really don’t do this show justice at all. you really gotta see it for yourself (so i really hope there’ll be an official recording made available sometime soon!)

also @kazliin, i’m definitely seeing the bits from “burn” and “that would be enough” that remind you of btds hahaha (also, that line about lovemaking being easy and love being harder? i didn’t actually intend a hamilton ref when i first wrote that, but washington’s repeats of that phrasing structure was like wow. no wonder you thought that was intentional on my part. whoops.) i hope i snuck in enough umfb parallels into this writeup for you. burr really reminded me of umfb yuuri. also, haha, washington’s opening lines in “here comes the general” where he’s like, everyone’s writing home about how eloquent i am but i’m only like that to make up for the fact that this war is a literal dumpster fire? reminded me of you hahaha <3

(though i gotta ask, why do you write like you’re running out of time)