#it’s debilitating 🤍🤍🤍

[fyodior]

rant lolz

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Like am I just not advocating for myself enough?? To have something warranting a fucking endoscopy with biopsies attached and then to just. give me an acid reducer,, if it works I would have to take it every single day for the rest of my life and I refuse to accept that

[neotradpsyche]

I have to say, I love this side of the 9-1-1 fandom. I’ve been watching the show for a few years now, but only took interest in the fandom once 7x4 aired and I’m grateful this is where I landed. You have all made this tiny corner of the web feel warm and welcoming.

I made a post yesterday about never sharing my art on social media and was motivated by some of you awesome people to actually post something. Now, I’ve never been one to be super active here outside of liking or reblogging posts, worried that I wouldn’t “fit in”, so to speak. I have debilitating anxiety and I was terrified to put my own work out there. So I didn’t expect anyone to see my art, much less interact with the post in any way. But I am grateful to everyone that saw it and took time to interact with it. I just wanted to say thank you all.

I am honored🤍

[marsprincess889]

Hello dear 🥰🤗 I would like to participate in

💠Goddess essence game💠.

Thankyou in advance💖🎀

Hello, thank you so much for participating🤍

Your divine archetype:

❄🐇The embodyment of cycles of nature, from hungry feminine to renewal and fertility 🦢🌱

Your goddesses:

So firstly I want to say that all these goddesses and their archetypes(all of which somehow overlap with most others) are pretty important to you. The archetype I wrote just above was hard to come up with and at first you might not understand what I mean by that or why it was hard to come up with a shortened, specific description, but I hope you will, after reading the explanations. Multiple goddesses I am going to talk about can be easily coorelated to nakshatras that you don't even have but they also fit your overall chart. But beyond anything, trust your own judgement, and feel free to research.

Berchta/Perchta_ Alpine goddess of winter, silent nurturing, hag goddess but also a motherly supporter.

Jyeshta_ your moon (also your atmakaraka) nakshatra is associated with infertility and dryness, but also to protection, courage and eventual victory. In feminines/females, it's the nakshatra of grandmothers and their wisdom.

Berchta has been demonized as a scary entity, especially for children, after Christianity spread in Europe. Despite that image she's still a motherly, protective, feminine presence that used to be recognized as a protector of children specifically.

So Jyeshta does coorelate to winter goddesses but Hasta nakshatra is associated with the feminine in her unresponsive state, not unlike Jyeshta. It represents the cycles of nature, the harvest and the barren land, the interplay between fall, winter and spring, between death and renewal. Also, Berchta's name comes from the birch tree_ an evergreen tree that survives the winter. Evergreens can be coorelated to Jyeshta.

While the whole chart is important, your big three_ sun, moon and ascendant, and their influence are enhanced in your case, all in different ways. The most important placement_ moon is conjunct ketu in the same nakshatra_ Jyeshta. Ketu is also a very significant placement and uniquely so. Together with the moon it represents the comfort zone a person in a chart, which in your case is more specific and amplified. The interesting thing is that you might have a love-hate relationship with that part of yourself, because Moon is debilitated in Scorpio, particularly in Anuradha nakshatra, but Ketu is exalted in Jyeshta.

Your Hasta ascendant determines your chart ruler, which is Mercury(Virgo rising), and in your case it is also in Hasta, which is its exaltation nakshatra.

Your Sun_ the natural atmakaraka(soul significator/planet) is in Purva Phalguni, a Leo nakshatra, which is its natural sign, and at the highest degree, making it your actual atmakaraka.

So all of these placements are enhanced in unique ways.

Going back to Berchta, the themes of winter, cycles of death and rebirth that are tied with her connect to Jyeshta(Jyeshta is in Scorpio, sign of the 8th house of death and transformation) and Hasta.

The nurturing aspect of Berchta and the birch tree association can be coorelated to Purva Phalguni_ a Venusian nakshatra of ease, enjoyment and procreation. Birches and its coorelated rune in Germanic people has long been associated with quiet nurturing and growth, along with feminine pleasure.

You also have Mars in Purva Phalguni with the Sun and they're in your 12th house_ the house of isolation and all things hidden(fitting with the winter, quiet/silent themes), also of dispersion and bed pleasures. You have Venus in Swati, Libra, which enhances the feminine and nurturing aspect. You also have exalted Rahu in Rohini(Taurus) which, again, adds to the feminine and nurturimg, Venusian quality. The fact that it's your Rahu, so it's connected to your Ketu and Moon in Jyeshta makes it an interesting interplay within you, once again emphasizing the hungry and barren/feminine and fertile nature of the feminine and of the nature itself.

A goddess that is widely considered to be similar to her is Holda or Frau Holle. Some say she's her predecessor(that Berchta and her worship came from the existence and worship of Holda). You might like to look into her so I thought I'd mention her.

Sidenote: to clarify, I should state that the nakshatra I would associate with Berchta amd Holda would be Bharani. Berchta's name means "the bearer" and she's said to wear three keys on her belt, likely representing the cycle of birth/death/rebirth or the maiden/mother/crone archetypes of the female. I think that it could also represent the three fates found in many mythologies. You do have a nakshatra that has thematic similarities to Bharani_ Hasta, and another Venusian nakshatra_ Purva Phalguni. Jyeshta shares themes of death and rebirth with it so your chart overall does seem fitting.

Some interesting things about Berchta: she was said to wear her long, black hair in braids on the sides of her head, her gown was said to be long and white. The latter part might be reason why people refer to her as "the white lady" or "the lady in white". Another image of her is the goddess as a crone in a discheveled dress. She was said to be a shapeshifter_ related to Mercury(Jyeshta's lord). She has been described as "goose-footed", also as taking the form of a swan(geese were used as guard dogs in Medieval times, so, she has been recognized as the protector of the wildlife in a sense), called "guardian of beasts", she's associated with:

Birch, holly, flax, mayflower and wild berries.

Geese, swans, mountain goats, crickets, owls and foxes are her animal coorelations. Some include other Alpine animals such as the ibex, weasel, marmot, stork.

She's said to live in the mountains, or in a cottage surrounded by gardens that are a home to lost souls.

She is associated with "the wild hunt"_ a procession of witches, spirits and demons riding through the skies and collecting the souls of the dead.

Anyways, there are other goddesses I should talk about.

Athena_ Greek goddess of wisdom, (military/battle) strategy and architecture.

So this is the goddess that is directly associated with Jyeshta. They share the symbol of the owl. Both are associated with maturity, strategy(especially battle strategies or just tactical warfare in general). Jyeshta is the nakshatra that conquers and closes out the second part of nakshatras representing the civilization.

I should say that Hasta is also associated with feminine smarts in terms of worldly wisdom and even encouragement of females towards independence.

Speaking of Hasta, goddesses often associated with it are Egyptian Isis, and Greek Perspehone. While Hasta is not the whole of your chart it is an important part of it. Just mentioning them to help in case you wanna research.

Cailleach_ Celtic winter goddess from Scotland Ireland and Isle of Man. I won't explain in detail why I chose her anymore but I think you'll understand anyways. She's a veiled(Hasta) hag goddess of winter(Jyeshta). She was said to be Cailleach for only half a year, after that she transformed into Brigid_ a Celtic goddess I associate with Krittika(a nakshatra mostly in Taurus_ Scorpios's opposite sign). You also have that theme of going from winter to renewal and fertility interplay and not only with Scorpio Ketu and Taurus rahu, both of which are exalted. She's also a shapeshifter and protector of wild animals. You should research her for additional info.

One more goddess I'm going to mention is Morgan le Fay along with her another version_ The Morrigan, a triple goddess of war, death, fate, crows and ravens. I have a post specifically about her archetype and how she relates to Mercurial Jyeshta but also the snake yonis in Taurus. Again, research more by yourself if you want to know more.

...

This is it. Turned out longer but I can't help myself when I want to explain😭 I hope this is also nice to read and beautiful to you and not just a collection of facts and analysis.

Please leave a feedback after reading💕

[natalyarose]

𝓕𝓾𝓵𝓵 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓢𝔀𝓪𝓽𝓲 - 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓂𝒶𝑔𝒾𝒸

🤍 Tonight/today greets us with a beautiful, vibrant Full Moon in Swati. I want to shed a little light about one of the mythologies associated with Swati and how it pertains to natives & transits under this Lunar Mansion.

The Vedic story of Hanuman, the cosmic son of Vayu (God of the wind & lord of Swati) lends us a wealth of knowledge about Swati's nature & message. It goes like this (I've tried my best to put it into my own wording): When Hanuman was a young boy, he thought the Sun was a big fruit, so he jumped into the sky to try to eat it. The Sun god felt intimidated by young Hanuman coming towards him, and asked he asked Indra (King of the Gods) to bring the child back down to Earth with his weapon/powers. Indra struck Hanuman in his jaw with his weapon: Vajra, the thunderbolt. Impressed by the child’s bravery & resistance, the deities blessed Hanuman with various powers. Hanuman used his powers to play pranks upon others, and for this, the rishis (sages, seers) cursed him to forget his gifts and powers. The boy then apologized for his mistake, so the rishis told him that his powers would come back to him if someone reminded him of them. Later on, while Hanuman was on a quest searching for Sita, Lord Rama’s wife, he was reminded of his powers by Jambavan, the bear headed being. Of the curse and his past. Upon hearing this, Hanuman's confidence is reignited. He ended up playing out multiple roles: a messenger to Sita, a diplomat to Vibhishana, and a soldier against Ravan.

🤍 This story gave me so much context as to why Swati natives are the way they are: A lot of the Swati natives I've met in my life are brilliantly talented in some field, or even multitalented, but are often very (overly) humble and self-doubting or easily discouraged by others'.

🤍 Swati is known to be perhaps the most energetically receptive of all the Nakshatras (some consider it to be the 'most feminine', which it is very much so but I think Swati's energy is very ethereal so it kinda transcends traditional feminine/masculine archetypes). This energetic receptivity gives endless potential for just about anything that can be dreamed of- there is a vast potential for just about any skill, talent or reality to be manifested in Swati. However, as the mythology implies, Swati's infinite powers and potential can be limited by the natives 'forgetting' their abilities or others attempting to bring them down.

🦋 It is said that Swati natives, like in the story, need to be surrounded by people who remind them of their abilities, beauty & talents in order to thrive. This makes sense in the context of Swati being very Yin and passive- endless potential, but needs that external Yang in order to flourish. It needs somebody to be objective with them and tell them exactly what they're good at.

🌱This potential is seen with Swati's symbolism being a plant shoot/sapling standing strong against the wind: there is a talent, a gift in Swati natives that needs to be nurtured to grow. Not that Swati's natives should depend on others- part of Swati's path may be related to learning to do what it takes to nurture those abilities yourself; but even still having positive affirmation and strong, Solar energies around is very important for Swati.

🍃 The Sun is debilitated in Swati, meaning the ego is very fragile. This can of course go many different ways- it can manifest as somebody who is very overly humble, self sacrificial, weak boundaries, lets emotions and empathy govern their life, 'too nice', lacking a healthy ego, struggles with criticism. Sometimes I see Swati manifested poorly as someone who feels down on themselves, so then deflects and rip down others, but typically there is another placement involved to cause this behaviour.

🌬 Not that Swati can't have a dark side, it certainly can and does as all Nakshatras do (Swati's other symbol is a sword & is butcher caste- it can be ruthless in achieving their goals, like Hanuman reaching up to the Sun)- but still remember that Swati resides in the middle of Sidereal Libra. Libra is balance, peace, the middle ground. Swati is the very middle of the middle lol. It is the ultimate 'go with the flow' 'neither here nor there' embodiment. Much like the wind.

🌌 This is partially why Tropical Scorpios are known to have the mesmerising stare & amazing ability to read people & situations: Swati acts as almost like this cosmic vacuum for knowledge, able to absorb it all but often too 'off with the fairies' and in their own world to verbalize it or always remember it. The natives can be misunderstood as ditzy and 'airheaded'.

🖤The 'dark side' of Swati would probably be staying quiet, not taking a stand 'for' or 'against' anything & letting life pass you by, or being bystanders in witnessing bad things due to the extreme energetic neutrality/passivity. Perhaps even snapping from the burden of always being doubted and passive. This neutrality can also be a gateway to fostering profound wisdom- access to the intuitive stream of knowledge available to us all is blocked by judgement & absolutes.

🎨 This leads me to Swati's association with the Goddess Saraswati; the Goddess of knowledge, wisdom, art, music & learning. The extreme potential to accumulate knowledge in Swati is a wonder, but it's almost as if sometimes the only way for Swati to verbalize & relay the knowledge to the world, is through art & music. A lot of spiritual truths are just too profound to put into plain words and even if you manage to, there's the risk of being misunderstood- through artistic creation, this wisdom can be more easily FELT.

🥀 I think that the theme of 'forgetting your powers' in Swati, reminds me of how when we come to this Earth and are born (Bharani, opposite to Swati represents birth), we for the most part forget our potential. We forget our divinity, we forget spiritual information such as our past lives.

🌸 It is said that on the way to success, Swati natives will often encounter a person or situation where people will try to bring them down/block their path at all costs, like Indra striking down the boy who reached for the Sun.

🌹One last thing- I recently watched the movie 'Pearl' which was a weird thing for me because I veer away from watching horrific movies, but the actress (Mia Goth) is Swati ascendant. Butcher caste. Symbolised by the sword/blade. Well, let's just say that the character lives up to this association lol- but I was thinking and I realised that the overall story and what lead the girl to this point is very Swati. Not that being a murderer is typical of Swati natives lol, but the plot:

🍒🌬 Pearl grows up on a farm, isolated from the world and held back from her freedom and enjoyment of her youth by her responsibilities taking care of her ill & immobilised father; and living with her abusive yet well meaning mother (not that abuse is ever okay but in the context of it being a very scary time for society amidst the Spanish flu and the father being crippled, I think the mum was very scared to death of more tragedy occuring). She dreams of being a star on the silver screens, a dancer (Swati being very ambitious & typically talented) but feels, once again, held back by the weight of the responsibility and burden of her dark home life. Eventually, she cracks and ends up killing anyone who she perceives to have doubted her or blocked her path (including her parents). Anyway, very Swati themes. Also very Rahu, Rahu nakshatras can have themes of being very sweet, polite and conforming- but eventually emotionally cracking, and all of the built up anger, rage and frustration from being mistreated or walked all over in their passive state comes out.

🌷🌸 Also, I just randomly thought of Barbie and the Three Musketeers lol- Barbie is often considered to be a Swati character (the femininity association, Rahuvian illusion, the way she can play all these characters and enter all of these different fantasy worlds). In Barbie and the Three Musketeers, we see Corinne (interestingly, again a girl who lives fair away from the city, somewhat isolated on a farm with her mother. Both movies play into the trope of the sweet, naive yet underestimated farm girl) who dreams of becoming a musketeer like her father was, in a time where girls could never be considered for this noble position. She confidently made her way on horseback all the way to Paris. When she told people of her dreams and ambitions of becoming a musketeer, everyone laughed in her face seeing as she was a girl. Even though she was extremely skilled and had been practicing for years. In the story, she discovers of this bad dude's plans to kill the prince to steal his inheritance to the throne, and her and her friends plan to take action.

Once the bad dude catches on that they know what he's up to and are trying to stop him, he of course tries to destroy them (there is a scene of a classic sword fight on the roof of the castle, Swati being associated with high places as well).

After demonstrating their immense bravery and skill, the girls all become musketeers and are apologised to for being underestimated (if I remember correctly).

It's really interesting because both of these movies include a scene early in the movie where the main character performs in a barn to the animals lol- Corinne practicing her musketeer skills, and Pearl practicing her dancing (and uh... killing a goose?).

🌫These movies also highlight Swati's themes of being underestimated, seen as very sweet and passive or naively sheltered, harmless girls but shocking the world with what they're capable of. 'Doing it in a dress' or doing it in lipstick & heels' vibes. Obviously, the two movies & characters go in entirely different directions though, lol.

🌸 In a way, society at large underestimates Barbie in general- deeming her airheaded or vapid & shallow just because of her associations with beauty & femininity, when most of the Barbie movies and stories actually depict Barbie as an immensely brave, courageous character who's positivity, kindness, strength and determination transcends evil every time.

Anyway, this ended up being much longer than intended lol, but I hope this was enjoyed by someone and sheds some light on the power of Swati Nakshatra this Full Moon <3🤍🌚

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

this might be a touchy subject and you don’t have to answer but, as one myself, how would Yves act with a chronically ill/physically disabled person? or even someone who constantly deals with chronic pain that is debilitating for everyday life? btw i love your writing, no matter how cursed. 🤍

Yves feels his heart wrench whenever he sees you break down in tears, frustrated at yourself for not doing as well as other able-bodied people, frustrated that you have to surrender your autonomy at times to Yves. He truly does, he hates to see you in such a state. While he doesn't mind, even prefers you to be dependent on him due to his strong caregiver personality, Yves doesn't want it to be at the cost of your happiness.

He will read up on all the papers published about your illness or disability. Past and modern ones, there must be a pattern or some sort that he could identify. Yves will try his best to find a cure or at least something that will improve your symptoms greatly.

But the first thing he will get done is to talk to you. Discuss what you ultimately want; is it freedom you seek? His undying support? The unyielding truth that Yves will stay by your side no matter how bad it gets? Do you want to keep fighting for yourself, or do you want Yves to do it for you?

You will have the latest, cutting-edge prosthetics if you're struggling with an amputated limb or body part. All the helpful, relevant, accessible gadgets will be installed in the house in hopes of making your life much easier and giving back the level of independence you need to maintain your mental health. Yves will remember all your appointments for you, that fills his planners up. Your dosages, your medication, and the procedures of your treatments.

He will remind you, pre-pack your pills, and help you with your IV drip. Yves is very careful with his tone and words, he knows the stress, humiliation, and pain that come with living as a chronically ill person can easily set you off. Everything can be overwhelming, he does not want to see tears of anger or hopelessness in your eyes. It's not your fault, you never wanted this and it just happened to affect you.

Yves spends nights perusing through all experimental treatments, weighing between the risks and benefits. He will present his carefully curated selection to you, but he makes sure to pace it out appropriately. Because if he were to show you thousands of pages of medical reports, chances are you're going to be upset, overstimulated, and angry at him. You have very limited energy and focus, he needs to get his words as concise and accurate as possible.

Watching him kneel with you on the bathroom floor, as you experience your seventh vomiting tonight, truly shocked you. Understandably, you're in such a terrible state, that you've barely gotten any sleep for the past month. But Yves sleeps even less, he is always awake, always looking after you. Ready for any emergencies and constantly preparing items or foods that will ease you. Yet, he looks glowing, as if he wasn't caretaking a bleeding ball of misery. His hair is always silky and brushed, no bags under his eyes, and his movement is still crisp. And he always knows what to do, much better than you or your practitioners.

He knows your body well enough to administer his own dose of painkillers, going against doctors' orders and obtaining drugs that fully alleviate your pain. Strategically timing your doses so it won't be too hard on your liver. Taking your blood samples himself and ran them through his own trusted pathology lab, potentially proving that your doctor might have misdiagnosed you. Maybe you wouldn't need to suffer, Yves could find a cure.

You were very apprehensive at first when Yves suggested that he does his own testing. He has no credentials, why should you trust him? The doctors have much more experience than him and they went to school for this. You're not trusting a random to cut you open either, he's a mathematician, not a medical doctor or a surgeon-

You were dumbfounded when he produced his own certifications and licenses. Proving that he worked in hospitals, researched institutes, and even published his own medical papers that universities used as teaching material for decades. Everything he presented is legitimate, he even demonstrated the validity of them by your request. You could call his universities and they will all confirm his contributions, You can confirm with the government and the relevant boards, you can search for him anywhere, and early pictures of him will resurface.

He looked so different. Yves looked unremarkable in them with short hair. He looks unhappier and more exhausted, though. Makes you wonder how old he really is.

But that was all. You cannot find further information on Yves other than the ones he allows you to know about.

So you reluctantly let him stick a needle in you, only to realize that he's done. You blinked multiple times and darted your eyes from your arm and his gloved hands holding vials of blood. Unlike the usual nurses or doctors, you can't feel the needle going in or out. Yes, you saw it, but it was unbelievably fast.

Your jaw dropped as he didn't even need to palpate your arm. Yves just calmly inserted the syringe, gathered what he needed, and finished. You didn't experience any bruising later, which was astonishing with the speed he was working with.

He labeled them and packed them in a plastic bag with a biohazard symbol on it and into a padded envelope. Yves disposed of his gloves and washed his hands.

You expected him to enlighten you. Tell you stories while he was in the field, brag about his accomplishments, complain about difficult patients, anything! You needed to know more! Just who the hell is he?

But all he did was smile, give you a kiss on the forehead, and help you back to your room.

[ambr0siascupoftea]

BITTERSWEET? (·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

(Latest Alex audio thoughts)

Wow-just wow. I honestly went into that audio thinking the worst, and somehow I came out of it a little confused, shocked, but also kind of happy? I was definitely on team #breakup but after listening I’ve realized how complex this relationship really is. We’ve only peeked into Alex and Gremlins relationship throughout his audios and I forget they’ve been together for over four years. I think it’s pretty clear both of them wanted to make it work because of how much they loved each other and their long history. (the whiplash I felt when he said “I’ll say that person is mine” 😀) moving on-

Both of them still have a lot of issues to work through-but I’m SO GLAD they went to therapy and it seems like they are willing to admit to their problems/mistakes and change which is a good sign, so I guess go team?

HOWEVER, the skeptical part of me thinks about how much they’ve really grown and if either of them are ready to be together again. I mean it’s only been about 3-4 months since they rekindled their relationship. I just don’t know if I can confidently believe in their individual growth since then. They hurt each other to a degree I think needed more time to heal. Personally, I wanted a breakup because of Gremlins debilitating issues with trust and Alex’s inability to communicate. I want to be rooting for them in the future-but I still have a seed of doubt.

It’s bittersweet, I think either outcome would’ve caused differing results and reactions. I guess at the end of the day I’m content (a little in denial) they decided to stay together even with all the angst and I wish them the best. 🤍

(Love to hear anyone else’s opinions on this cause I’m so torn🧎🏻‍♀️)

[honeyhoshi]

after many months of debilitating mental illness, i am returning to complete raise the stakes 🤍

i visited namyangju today and my heart is so full of adoration for soonyoung.

see you guys soon!

[laura1633]

Hey Laura 🤍 Have you had ideas for future fics recently ? Do you have some “crazy shit” you wanna write ? (Obviously, to read with Charles’ voice)

Haha, I absolutely read that in Charles' voice 😃

I do have some vague plans fic-wise, although my brain is like a pinball machine so plans change quite frequently 😂

Once I have finished 'Preloved' I am probably going to post some one shots but I am not 100% sure which ones I am going to write yet but it definitely involves one of Charles riding Max because I promised that one and I haven't forgotten.

Then, I have 5 multi chapter fics that are in various stages and once Preloved is finished I will divert my attention to one of them.

Sugar Daddy Charles x Sugar baby Max.

Alpha Mafia boss Max x Omega Ballerina Charles

Pregnant Omega Max (lots of fluff)

The two other ideas that are also floating around are ones that I haven't discussed on here yet but I have been playing around with (I am not sure if they could be called 'crazy shit' though 😂)

Catfish storyline - Student Charles starts talking to a guy online who eventually reveals themself to be F1 driver Max Verstappen. Charles is sceptical because 'Max' never sends pictures and never wants to video chat or meet up. There are a lot of warning signs that he is being scammed/catfished but he so wants it to be real. It's an angst with a happy ending and I am not 100% sure whether I am going to write it this way or flip the roles.

Underground Fighter Max - I am sure this is an au that has been written before but I don't think you can have too many stories in the same au! Max is a natural talent and could have done great things in the boxing world but poor management from his father means he is fighting in seedy underground clubs and taking dives for money. His father convinces him to travel across country to fight in a notoriously brutal and unforgiving club for one last match up. Charles is a bartender in a local bar who has seen far too many fighters suffer debilitating injuries in the no holds barred tournament and doesn't want the pretty blue eyed boxer who he has taken a shine to going down suffering the same fate.

[finelinefae]

tw for anxiety below 🤍

I have been having very very very terrible anxiety lately like debilitating can’t seem to do anything without bursting into tears or feeling nauseous and I was wondering if anyone had any good tips and tricks with how to get passed or deal with something like this because I have tried so many times to work through it and nothing feels like it’s working. I’ve had anxiety for years and years and for the last three years it’s not been so bad but this year it really has been the worst.

I think it’s so hard too when you have a day job to go to especially in a customer facing role where it can also be super unpredictable. I feel like everyday I wake up with this terrible weight in the pit of my stomach from not knowing what the day will hold and I can’t seem to do anything to help myself.

So if anyone else knows this feeling or has a good way of coping with it please let me know it would be much appreciated 💕 I don’t normally talk about this stuff but if you feel this way too just know you’re not alone in feeling that way and the world can be beautiful but also very big and scary and it’s okay to feel a bit wobbly sometimes.

Anyway yeah, appreciate you all very very much 🫂

[ros3ybabe]

Check In - September 25th & 26th, 2023 🎀

these last two days have not been at all like I would’ve liked them to be. I started getting sick on Monday night and now that’s exactly what happened, I am sick and very unhappy about it. Luckily I think it’s just a cold this time but I always dislike getting sick. I’m not going to inicie a What I Ate in this check in because I genuinely don’t remember at the moment what I ate on Monday and Tuesday. this will just be a what I’ve accomplished post.

Monday 25th -

🩷 Personal Accomplishments -

went to bed at a decent time

Left work early to take care of myself

Morning skincare

Japanese Duolingo/Busuu for 15 minutes

🩷 Academic Accomplishments -

Completed module 5 notes for health and sport class

Completed module 5 quiz for health and sport class

Completed stocks assignment for personal finance class

Started notes for chapter 6 for my psyc class

I mentioned that I went home early from work on Monday and that was due to having a full blown panic attack in the work office in front of my supervisor. I think I had been stressed about school stuff and when I felt myself getting sick I just panicked and ended up with a near debilitating attack. I’m so grateful for my supervisor, she talked me down from the panic attack and then let me go home because she saw how it was affecting me. I love my work family.

Tuesday 26th -

🩷 Personal Accomplishments -

Took time off school due to being ill + last nights panic attack

Showered + night skincare

Made myself dinner

Relaxed and overall had a good day

Japanese Duolingo p/Busuu 15 minutes

🩷Academic Achievements-

Completed my mid term presentation and turned it in before the due date

Reached out to my Psyc Professor about an extension for a Psyc assignment

did not do much on Tuesday due to low energy and just wanting and needing to take care of myself a little bit. I’m still sick as of right now and still planning on taking it easy to help both mind and body recover,

this was not the update I had hoped on giving but I still wanted to keep you all in the loop as to what’s going on with me. I appreciate all the kind words I’ve received from you guys. Your encouragement and kindness is one of the reasons I keep up with this blog and have the motivation to be open and honest.

til next time, lovelies🩷🤍

[hoobsie]

URGENT‼️ raising money for dental treatment 💰🦷

hi i’m Hoobsie (they/them) ♡ i’m a horror streamer/creator & unfortunately need very urgent & very expensive dental treatment. i’ve been raising/saving money for the past 5 months & last week i was finally able to have the first part of my treatment done!! i have just under $3,000 of treatment remaining before i can begin the process of getting dental implants (which will be even more money on top of everything else 🥲) as i was born without 3 permanent teeth & only baby teeth that have started falling out 🥲 this process has caused me debilitating, unbearable anxiety & i’m so grateful for every bit of help i’ve received thus far ♡

shares are also EXTREMELY appreciated. i absolutely despise asking for help but unfortunately emergencies happen 😓 thank you so incredibly much for your support!! ♡

you can donate via my ko-fi here:

ko-fi.com/hoobsie 🤍

[fragmentedfae-userboxes]

hi! id love any of these, thank you! 🤍

— obviously no pressure at all, just to fill up your queue if you’d like.

“this system is scared [constantly.]”

“this system thinks people take dpd too lightly.”

“this system is in a constant state of freeze.”

“this system is in a constant state of fear.”

“this system is in a constant state of fawn.”

“this system has debilitating dpd.”

“this system cannot regulate itself without their dp.”

“this system cannot function without its fp.”

“this system struggles to function alone.”

“this system cannot function alone.”

“this akutagawa fictive desperately misses dazai.”

“this fictive misses their source mentor”

[if possible] “this fictive misses their source abuser.”

Queued!!

I added some others just to make some complete sets

[marsprincess889]

Hi congratulations on your 400 followers and upcoming many more🤍🧿✨I also want to participate in your new game my big 3:

Swati Sun(pada 1) (9 degree) 5H

Shatabhisha(pada 1)Moon(7degree) 9H

Ardra (pada 4)Rising (Rahu (5degree)and Jupiter(21 degree) in 1H)

Thankyouuuu 💗🌷

Hiii, thank you!!!

Oh my god, all rahu nakshatras? Oh my god????

Oh, wow, well, the obvious thing is: VERY Rahuvian. So sorry if this innapropriate to say but, do you/have struggle(d) with anxiety? Sorry if that's true. (🤍)

Anyways, you might be comfortable with rahuvian energies, you might have A LOT of interests, a wide variety of them. Astrology is an obvious, I also think you like art, you might like analyzing art/people/life in general. You might like to watch and observe, without nessecarily intending to do anything at all about it. I think you have many hobbies, if you don't you might get in your head a lot, you might overthink, overanalyze. You might have a lot of talents but you might despise using them for superficial goals. You really appreciate art, anything meaningful with beauty in it. You have a debilitated sun(in swati), you might struggle with identity and self-confidence sometimes, you might compromise yourself for relationships/knowledge/art. You also have enemy yonis: Shatabhisha(horse) moon and Swati(buffalo) sun. One thing I've observed about people who have enemy yoni nakshatras in their big three is that it's rarely a problem for them. Other people might think that they're contradictory or hard to figure out/define, but those people themselves are usually comfortable with both energies. The one that they almost always more comfortable with, is the yoni of their moon nakshatra, in your case-horse yoni of shatabhisha. Since both shatabhisha and swati and rahu nakshatras, it's even easier in your case. You might appear more intimidating than you are in person and you quickly warm up to people who share your interest, but you remain wary of everyone.

[louisisalarrie]

Try to focus on what we know, not what we don’t. Addiction is a disease and is the core cause. It’s entirely possible he wanted and sought out the drugs, probably for lots of reasons. It doesn’t have to be deeper than that, there doesn’t have to be a big conspiracy. (And suggesting as such is frustrating for those struggling with addiction and addicts in their lives). Love you 🤍

yeah I agree. Thank you anon. I do have an addict in my life and can completely understand how debilitating this disease can be and how it can change everything in a split second. so awful. Love you too 🧡

[zyafics]

59 and 12! 🤍

thanks for playing!

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

all my close friends know!! at first it came out as a hehe moment where i was like, oh i write fanfic, and then i just didn't care. sometimes i even ask them to beta for me when they don't even read fanfic 😭

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

feedback/support is incredibly important to me because it inspires me to write, but whenever i don't get them, it can be debilitating to my motivation and whatnot. i try not to let it affect me but it happens 😔 but i'm so so so appreciative of all the kind words and feedbacks i get on my fics and i always go back to reread them whenever i feel bad about myself <3