#it’s debilitating 🤍🤍🤍

[fyodior]

rant lolz

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Like am I just not advocating for myself enough?? To have something warranting a fucking endoscopy with biopsies attached and then to just. give me an acid reducer,, if it works I would have to take it every single day for the rest of my life and I refuse to accept that

[neotradpsyche]

I have to say, I love this side of the 9-1-1 fandom. I’ve been watching the show for a few years now, but only took interest in the fandom once 7x4 aired and I’m grateful this is where I landed. You have all made this tiny corner of the web feel warm and welcoming.

I made a post yesterday about never sharing my art on social media and was motivated by some of you awesome people to actually post something. Now, I’ve never been one to be super active here outside of liking or reblogging posts, worried that I wouldn’t “fit in”, so to speak. I have debilitating anxiety and I was terrified to put my own work out there. So I didn’t expect anyone to see my art, much less interact with the post in any way. But I am grateful to everyone that saw it and took time to interact with it. I just wanted to say thank you all.

I am honored🤍

[natalyarose]

𝓕𝓾𝓵𝓵 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓢𝔀𝓪𝓽𝓲 - 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓂𝒶𝑔𝒾𝒸

🤍 Tonight/today greets us with a beautiful, vibrant Full Moon in Swati. I want to shed a little light about one of the mythologies associated with Swati and how it pertains to natives & transits under this Lunar Mansion.

The Vedic story of Hanuman, the cosmic son of Vayu (God of the wind & lord of Swati) lends us a wealth of knowledge about Swati's nature & message. It goes like this (I've tried my best to put it into my own wording): When Hanuman was a young boy, he thought the Sun was a big fruit, so he jumped into the sky to try to eat it. The Sun god felt intimidated by young Hanuman coming towards him, and asked he asked Indra (King of the Gods) to bring the child back down to Earth with his weapon/powers. Indra struck Hanuman in his jaw with his weapon: Vajra, the thunderbolt. Impressed by the child’s bravery & resistance, the deities blessed Hanuman with various powers. Hanuman used his powers to play pranks upon others, and for this, the rishis (sages, seers) cursed him to forget his gifts and powers. The boy then apologized for his mistake, so the rishis told him that his powers would come back to him if someone reminded him of them. Later on, while Hanuman was on a quest searching for Sita, Lord Rama’s wife, he was reminded of his powers by Jambavan, the bear headed being. Of the curse and his past. Upon hearing this, Hanuman's confidence is reignited. He ended up playing out multiple roles: a messenger to Sita, a diplomat to Vibhishana, and a soldier against Ravan.

🤍 This story gave me so much context as to why Swati natives are the way they are: A lot of the Swati natives I've met in my life are brilliantly talented in some field, or even multitalented, but are often very (overly) humble and self-doubting or easily discouraged by others'.

🤍 Swati is known to be perhaps the most energetically receptive of all the Nakshatras (some consider it to be the 'most feminine', which it is very much so but I think Swati's energy is very ethereal so it kinda transcends traditional feminine/masculine archetypes). This energetic receptivity gives endless potential for just about anything that can be dreamed of- there is a vast potential for just about any skill, talent or reality to be manifested in Swati. However, as the mythology implies, Swati's infinite powers and potential can be limited by the natives 'forgetting' their abilities or others attempting to bring them down.

🦋 It is said that Swati natives, like in the story, need to be surrounded by people who remind them of their abilities, beauty & talents in order to thrive. This makes sense in the context of Swati being very Yin and passive- endless potential, but needs that external Yang in order to flourish. It needs somebody to be objective with them and tell them exactly what they're good at.

🌱This potential is seen with Swati's symbolism being a plant shoot/sapling standing strong against the wind: there is a talent, a gift in Swati natives that needs to be nurtured to grow. Not that Swati's natives should depend on others- part of Swati's path may be related to learning to do what it takes to nurture those abilities yourself; but even still having positive affirmation and strong, Solar energies around is very important for Swati.

🍃 The Sun is debilitated in Swati, meaning the ego is very fragile. This can of course go many different ways- it can manifest as somebody who is very overly humble, self sacrificial, weak boundaries, lets emotions and empathy govern their life, 'too nice', lacking a healthy ego, struggles with criticism. Sometimes I see Swati manifested poorly as someone who feels down on themselves, so then deflects and rip down others, but typically there is another placement involved to cause this behaviour.

🌬 Not that Swati can't have a dark side, it certainly can and does as all Nakshatras do (Swati's other symbol is a sword & is butcher caste- it can be ruthless in achieving their goals, like Hanuman reaching up to the Sun)- but still remember that Swati resides in the middle of Sidereal Libra. Libra is balance, peace, the middle ground. Swati is the very middle of the middle lol. It is the ultimate 'go with the flow' 'neither here nor there' embodiment. Much like the wind.

🌌 This is partially why Tropical Scorpios are known to have the mesmerising stare & amazing ability to read people & situations: Swati acts as almost like this cosmic vacuum for knowledge, able to absorb it all but often too 'off with the fairies' and in their own world to verbalize it or always remember it. The natives can be misunderstood as ditzy and 'airheaded'.

🖤The 'dark side' of Swati would probably be staying quiet, not taking a stand 'for' or 'against' anything & letting life pass you by, or being bystanders in witnessing bad things due to the extreme energetic neutrality/passivity. Perhaps even snapping from the burden of always being doubted and passive. This neutrality can also be a gateway to fostering profound wisdom- access to the intuitive stream of knowledge available to us all is blocked by judgement & absolutes.

🎨 This leads me to Swati's association with the Goddess Saraswati; the Goddess of knowledge, wisdom, art, music & learning. The extreme potential to accumulate knowledge in Swati is a wonder, but it's almost as if sometimes the only way for Swati to verbalize & relay the knowledge to the world, is through art & music. A lot of spiritual truths are just too profound to put into plain words and even if you manage to, there's the risk of being misunderstood- through artistic creation, this wisdom can be more easily FELT.

🥀 I think that the theme of 'forgetting your powers' in Swati, reminds me of how when we come to this Earth and are born (Bharani, opposite to Swati represents birth), we for the most part forget our potential. We forget our divinity, we forget spiritual information such as our past lives.

🌸 It is said that on the way to success, Swati natives will often encounter a person or situation where people will try to bring them down/block their path at all costs, like Indra striking down the boy who reached for the Sun.

🌹One last thing- I recently watched the movie 'Pearl' which was a weird thing for me because I veer away from watching horrific movies, but the actress (Mia Goth) is Swati ascendant. Butcher caste. Symbolised by the sword/blade. Well, let's just say that the character lives up to this association lol- but I was thinking and I realised that the overall story and what lead the girl to this point is very Swati. Not that being a murderer is typical of Swati natives lol, but the plot:

🍒🌬 Pearl grows up on a farm, isolated from the world and held back from her freedom and enjoyment of her youth by her responsibilities taking care of her ill & immobilised father; and living with her abusive yet well meaning mother (not that abuse is ever okay but in the context of it being a very scary time for society amidst the Spanish flu and the father being crippled, I think the mum was very scared to death of more tragedy occuring). She dreams of being a star on the silver screens, a dancer (Swati being very ambitious & typically talented) but feels, once again, held back by the weight of the responsibility and burden of her dark home life. Eventually, she cracks and ends up killing anyone who she perceives to have doubted her or blocked her path (including her parents). Anyway, very Swati themes. Also very Rahu, Rahu nakshatras can have themes of being very sweet, polite and conforming- but eventually emotionally cracking, and all of the built up anger, rage and frustration from being mistreated or walked all over in their passive state comes out.

🌷🌸 Also, I just randomly thought of Barbie and the Three Musketeers lol- Barbie is often considered to be a Swati character (the femininity association, Rahuvian illusion, the way she can play all these characters and enter all of these different fantasy worlds). In Barbie and the Three Musketeers, we see Corinne (interestingly, again a girl who lives fair away from the city, somewhat isolated on a farm with her mother. Both movies play into the trope of the sweet, naive yet underestimated farm girl) who dreams of becoming a musketeer like her father was, in a time where girls could never be considered for this noble position. She confidently made her way on horseback all the way to Paris. When she told people of her dreams and ambitions of becoming a musketeer, everyone laughed in her face seeing as she was a girl. Even though she was extremely skilled and had been practicing for years. In the story, she discovers of this bad dude's plans to kill the prince to steal his inheritance to the throne, and her and her friends plan to take action.

Once the bad dude catches on that they know what he's up to and are trying to stop him, he of course tries to destroy them (there is a scene of a classic sword fight on the roof of the castle, Swati being associated with high places as well).

After demonstrating their immense bravery and skill, the girls all become musketeers and are apologised to for being underestimated (if I remember correctly).

It's really interesting because both of these movies include a scene early in the movie where the main character performs in a barn to the animals lol- Corinne practicing her musketeer skills, and Pearl practicing her dancing (and uh... killing a goose?).

🌫These movies also highlight Swati's themes of being underestimated, seen as very sweet and passive or naively sheltered, harmless girls but shocking the world with what they're capable of. 'Doing it in a dress' or doing it in lipstick & heels' vibes. Obviously, the two movies & characters go in entirely different directions though, lol.

🌸 In a way, society at large underestimates Barbie in general- deeming her airheaded or vapid & shallow just because of her associations with beauty & femininity, when most of the Barbie movies and stories actually depict Barbie as an immensely brave, courageous character who's positivity, kindness, strength and determination transcends evil every time.

Anyway, this ended up being much longer than intended lol, but I hope this was enjoyed by someone and sheds some light on the power of Swati Nakshatra this Full Moon <3🤍🌚

[sussyscurryscorpio]

Scorpio Placement Observations

(This picture doesn't belong to me in any way) (These may apply to 8th house placements too. Tell me if it does) (I won't make another post for Saturn and Jupiter. I'll include it in some astro-notes post briefly, if anything)

For Moon, Venus and Mercury, click here

SCORPIO SUN:

~Okay so, I won't typecast anything but Scorpio Suns are generally more comfortable around their male besties than their female counterparts? Like they don't get the girly shit or they don't like it all the time? But with the "bros", they get the homie feeling? You know?

~I feel people mistake Scorpio Suns a lot to being introverted and like ✨mysterious✨. Like, most Scorpio Suns (Tropical and Sidereal) are pretty chill, and ambivert, if not extraverted.

~Tropical Scorpio Suns are Sidereal Libra Suns. And well, out of all debilitated signs, this one is the least, well, difficult. A weak sun is good. Imagine looking at a very bright sun. It hurts your eyes, that's what it does. In the sign of Libra, it makes the native very diplomatic, very calm, very creative (fine arts or creative writing too even) The IT-girl placement? These people are so well liked. (Maybe the girls are envious from these people?) The guys who have this are so aesthetically pleasing to my Libra Venus. I see you🤍

~Sidereal Scorpio Suns are Tropical Sagittarius. These are the people who might be your stereotypical introverted, mysterious people, but that's generally because of an underlying insecurity, trust me. These people have a no-nonsense approach in life. Like if you're gonna bring me down, rightfully, fuck off. I'm not here for your shit.

~Well, as a Scorpio Sun (Sidereal) myself, I'm the biggest ambivert you'll ever find. I'll be an extrovert with the extroverts and with my introvert bestie, I'm a mild introvert. Haha, she makes me introvert. I love her.

~Also, most Scorpio Suns befriend other Scorpio Suns? I used to lose my mind when I first came across zodiacs. All my friends were Sagittarius Suns (Tropical). Like 5 of them, the closest ones. Or they were Scorpio Suns (Tropical). I didn't know about Risings then, let alone Sidereal. So, I used to always wonder why this is. Now, I know.

~I used to befriend Sidereal Scorpio Suns (Tropical Sagittarius Suns), and those were the closest ones always. I was myself always with them. Other Scorpio Suns always brought out the real me or a part of me I wasn't very open. True Vibe Soulmates, ngl.

~As for the Sidereal Libra Suns (Tropical Scorpio Suns), that was mostly because I have prominent Libra Placements so, comforting.

SCORPIO MARS:

~Tactical. Freaky hotties. Intense. Bold. The perfect "Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" placement.

~Not an observation but I wanna fuck a Scorpio Mars. At least once in my life. Call it my fantasy.

~You guys and your strong ass willpower has me weak in the knees. You can commit? A person in today's day and age who can friggin commit? I want it. Please. Take me in.

~Like when you decide to do something, you make sure you do it and that you do it better than any other motherfucker. You go study the depth of the subject and know the roots, like real focusing on the "how"s and the "why"s. "Why is Sodium a soft metal? WHY SODIUM, WHYYY?!!"

~See. The simple logic behind this is Mars is domicile in Scorpio. It's comfortable here. It's in its element. It will show its full effect now. And what does Mars represent? Passion. So, these people are passionate towards whatever they do. And when you do something passionately, you become the friggin best in it.

~Um, you know, with Mars, the Sign is one part of it. I feel more important is the house it is in and what planets are aspecting it. But since we're not discussing that, let's not digress.

~Sex is important? Fuck no. Sex is IMPORTANT. How will you know if you can mate this person for life? Sexual compatibility is essential for you guys. And it's understandable too. The blending of souls through the bodies is utmost to show the love you feel. Words? Mean shit. Actions? Speak louder.

~I don't remember where but I heard this from an astrologer that the difference between Aries Mars and Scorpio Mars is their approach. Aries is represented by the Ram. Scorpio, whereas, is represented by the Scorpion itself. So, when a Ram attacks, it does with its horns. Face to face, head-on confrontation, while a Scorpion does it with its sting, which is on its back.

~What I'm trying to say is when you wrong a Scorpio, they won't react immediately. They'll be like "Oh. Okay" and months later you find all your friends falling out with you, people knowing the shit you did and then you realise, it was the Scorpio Mars person's doing. So, these people will take their vengeance when their enemy would be at their fucking lowest.

~And these people hold their vendetta forever. Forgiveness? What the fuck is that?

~You guys make elaborate plans. Like Money Heist level plans. On a smaller scale could be, um, Mass bunking college or Dating your shitty ex's enemy/best friend as a revenge? Just ideas.

~NSFW: You might have a breeding kink. Just saying. You're all dominating ASF. Everyone. No switching. Just Dominants. Dominatrix. Idk. But you are.

~If you want to manifest something important, like good body, work place stuff, like manifesting the passion, use the color black, purple or red. These are the Martian colors. Red is more for Aries but works. I did it with a blog of mine. Customised it full red. It became an overnight hit.

~Oh and did I tell you you're hot? I'm sorry. You're hot. As hell. Femme Fatale Vibes. Like you can tell me Jennifer from Jennifer's body was Scorpio Mars and I'll believe you. A harshly aspected/placed/afflicted Scorpio Mars gives me Joe Goldberg/ Love Quinn vibes from You. I mean, especially Joe Goldberg cause Scorpio Mars can get stalkerish. It depends on if it is receiving negative aspects from nodes. Like I said, with Mars, sign is secondary. Primary is house and other planetary aspects on it. Not all Scorpio Mars will be Joe Goldberg, come on.

~This happened in another post of mine when I said something about Aquarius Sun and being Hitler-like as an example. Not all Aquarius Suns can be or will be Hitler. One placement does not define you. If it did, you won't need aspects or house systems for it. Pfft-

SCORPIO LILITH:

(I wasn't going to write about Lilith but @lavenderundmintt asked me in the comments, so here goes nothing)

~Honestly, I desperately try to find sources on how to interpret Lilith myself cause whatever I've read never made sense to me based on my placements. I have a Lilith in 1st. And many parts stay, well, conflicted. I'm no Mary Sue in parallel universe as many suggest but whatever. This will be a little shorter. I don't want to fill large paragraphs at the cost of inaccuracies.

~Lilith Scorpio people, I believe, may have stalker-ish boyfriends or lovers? See, with Lilith, you'll experience everything about the sign its in. The roles reverses.

~I just discussed it with a few people how people obsess hard over Scorpio Lilith people. Hookups reaching out, past lovers having difficulty moving on from you. Breaking up then coming back to you? Stalking you on social media? "I'm sorry. I'll change. I'll be better."

~Um, not sure about this but, you might feel uncomfortable in accepting your sexual-ness? Like, maybe, you find sex something taboo or disgusting? Or even to the extent of being Asexual? Or insecure in bed? Its okay if it is true. Many people do and are. But I just, what I'm saying is that after puberty or losing your virginity, you could've find it hard to accept your sexual urges. You could feel unclean/dirty. Might not masturbat3. Reason could be anything, I won't mention any triggers cause triggers are real. If it resonates, you get it and I don't have to say it out loud.

But, I'm just saying. I could be totally wrong here and I'm sorry if I am.

~Oh and this doesn't mean you are unsexy or people don't want to fuck u. You exude a very high, unresistable, sexual aura, many-a-times without realising it.

~You're maybe very submissive? Again, you may not be if it's in, say, 1st house. But just saying, you could attract people through your submissive side. Or "innocence" or "Purity" or wtvr bullshit guys these days find attractive.

~Oh and another very prominent thing I came to know from the discussions. Eyes. Something with eyes that you guys do which drive people insane. Like, you have very hard-to-not-notice eyes. There's power in those eyes which is like very magnetic.

~Needless to say. Lilith isn't a very positive planet. I've seen people discuss how traumas surrounds this planet. And it being in the sexual sign of Scorpio could go anywhere. Not implying anything.

~But one thing I am very certain of. You're unavoidable. You draw people towards you. You're the ✨moment✨

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

this might be a touchy subject and you don’t have to answer but, as one myself, how would Yves act with a chronically ill/physically disabled person? or even someone who constantly deals with chronic pain that is debilitating for everyday life? btw i love your writing, no matter how cursed. 🤍

Yves feels his heart wrench whenever he sees you break down in tears, frustrated at yourself for not doing as well as other able-bodied people, frustrated that you have to surrender your autonomy at times to Yves. He truly does, he hates to see you in such a state. While he doesn't mind, even prefers you to be dependent on him due to his strong caregiver personality, Yves doesn't want it to be at the cost of your happiness.

He will read up on all the papers published about your illness or disability. Past and modern ones, there must be a pattern or some sort that he could identify. Yves will try his best to find a cure or at least something that will improve your symptoms greatly.

But the first thing he will get done is to talk to you. Discuss what you ultimately want; is it freedom you seek? His undying support? The unyielding truth that Yves will stay by your side no matter how bad it gets? Do you want to keep fighting for yourself, or do you want Yves to do it for you?

You will have the latest, cutting-edge prosthetics if you're struggling with an amputated limb or body part. All the helpful, relevant, accessible gadgets will be installed in the house in hopes of making your life much easier and giving back the level of independence you need to maintain your mental health. Yves will remember all your appointments for you, that fills his planners up. Your dosages, your medication, and the procedures of your treatments.

He will remind you, pre-pack your pills, and help you with your IV drip. Yves is very careful with his tone and words, he knows the stress, humiliation, and pain that come with living as a chronically ill person can easily set you off. Everything can be overwhelming, he does not want to see tears of anger or hopelessness in your eyes. It's not your fault, you never wanted this and it just happened to affect you.

Yves spends nights perusing through all experimental treatments, weighing between the risks and benefits. He will present his carefully curated selection to you, but he makes sure to pace it out appropriately. Because if he were to show you thousands of pages of medical reports, chances are you're going to be upset, overstimulated, and angry at him. You have very limited energy and focus, he needs to get his words as concise and accurate as possible.

Watching him kneel with you on the bathroom floor, as you experience your seventh vomiting tonight, truly shocked you. Understandably, you're in such a terrible state, that you've barely gotten any sleep for the past month. But Yves sleeps even less, he is always awake, always looking after you. Ready for any emergencies and constantly preparing items or foods that will ease you. Yet, he looks glowing, as if he wasn't caretaking a bleeding ball of misery. His hair is always silky and brushed, no bags under his eyes, and his movement is still crisp. And he always knows what to do, much better than you or your practitioners.

He knows your body well enough to administer his own dose of painkillers, going against doctors' orders and obtaining drugs that fully alleviate your pain. Strategically timing your doses so it won't be too hard on your liver. Taking your blood samples himself and ran them through his own trusted pathology lab, potentially proving that your doctor might have misdiagnosed you. Maybe you wouldn't need to suffer, Yves could find a cure.

You were very apprehensive at first when Yves suggested that he does his own testing. He has no credentials, why should you trust him? The doctors have much more experience than him and they went to school for this. You're not trusting a random to cut you open either, he's a mathematician, not a medical doctor or a surgeon-

You were dumbfounded when he produced his own certifications and licenses. Proving that he worked in hospitals, researched institutes, and even published his own medical papers that universities used as teaching material for decades. Everything he presented is legitimate, he even demonstrated the validity of them by your request. You could call his universities and they will all confirm his contributions, You can confirm with the government and the relevant boards, you can search for him anywhere, and early pictures of him will resurface.

He looked so different. Yves looked unremarkable in them with short hair. He looks unhappier and more exhausted, though. Makes you wonder how old he really is.

But that was all. You cannot find further information on Yves other than the ones he allows you to know about.

So you reluctantly let him stick a needle in you, only to realize that he's done. You blinked multiple times and darted your eyes from your arm and his gloved hands holding vials of blood. Unlike the usual nurses or doctors, you can't feel the needle going in or out. Yes, you saw it, but it was unbelievably fast.

Your jaw dropped as he didn't even need to palpate your arm. Yves just calmly inserted the syringe, gathered what he needed, and finished. You didn't experience any bruising later, which was astonishing with the speed he was working with.

He labeled them and packed them in a plastic bag with a biohazard symbol on it and into a padded envelope. Yves disposed of his gloves and washed his hands.

You expected him to enlighten you. Tell you stories while he was in the field, brag about his accomplishments, complain about difficult patients, anything! You needed to know more! Just who the hell is he?

But all he did was smile, give you a kiss on the forehead, and help you back to your room.

[honeyhoshi]

after many months of debilitating mental illness, i am returning to complete raise the stakes 🤍

i visited namyangju today and my heart is so full of adoration for soonyoung.

see you guys soon!

[laura1633]

Hey Laura 🤍 Have you had ideas for future fics recently ? Do you have some “crazy shit” you wanna write ? (Obviously, to read with Charles’ voice)

Haha, I absolutely read that in Charles' voice 😃

I do have some vague plans fic-wise, although my brain is like a pinball machine so plans change quite frequently 😂

Once I have finished 'Preloved' I am probably going to post some one shots but I am not 100% sure which ones I am going to write yet but it definitely involves one of Charles riding Max because I promised that one and I haven't forgotten.

Then, I have 5 multi chapter fics that are in various stages and once Preloved is finished I will divert my attention to one of them.

Sugar Daddy Charles x Sugar baby Max.

Alpha Mafia boss Max x Omega Ballerina Charles

Pregnant Omega Max (lots of fluff)

The two other ideas that are also floating around are ones that I haven't discussed on here yet but I have been playing around with (I am not sure if they could be called 'crazy shit' though 😂)

Catfish storyline - Student Charles starts talking to a guy online who eventually reveals themself to be F1 driver Max Verstappen. Charles is sceptical because 'Max' never sends pictures and never wants to video chat or meet up. There are a lot of warning signs that he is being scammed/catfished but he so wants it to be real. It's an angst with a happy ending and I am not 100% sure whether I am going to write it this way or flip the roles.

Underground Fighter Max - I am sure this is an au that has been written before but I don't think you can have too many stories in the same au! Max is a natural talent and could have done great things in the boxing world but poor management from his father means he is fighting in seedy underground clubs and taking dives for money. His father convinces him to travel across country to fight in a notoriously brutal and unforgiving club for one last match up. Charles is a bartender in a local bar who has seen far too many fighters suffer debilitating injuries in the no holds barred tournament and doesn't want the pretty blue eyed boxer who he has taken a shine to going down suffering the same fate.

[finelinefae]

tw for anxiety below 🤍

I have been having very very very terrible anxiety lately like debilitating can’t seem to do anything without bursting into tears or feeling nauseous and I was wondering if anyone had any good tips and tricks with how to get passed or deal with something like this because I have tried so many times to work through it and nothing feels like it’s working. I’ve had anxiety for years and years and for the last three years it’s not been so bad but this year it really has been the worst.

I think it’s so hard too when you have a day job to go to especially in a customer facing role where it can also be super unpredictable. I feel like everyday I wake up with this terrible weight in the pit of my stomach from not knowing what the day will hold and I can’t seem to do anything to help myself.

So if anyone else knows this feeling or has a good way of coping with it please let me know it would be much appreciated 💕 I don’t normally talk about this stuff but if you feel this way too just know you’re not alone in feeling that way and the world can be beautiful but also very big and scary and it’s okay to feel a bit wobbly sometimes.

Anyway yeah, appreciate you all very very much 🫂

[glass--beach]

I hope your wrist and brain feel better soon 🩷🤍🩵 I have tendonitis that can be debilitating when it flares up but a good wrist brace really helps. Could be worth trying if you haven't? I'll be rooting for you!

yeah i've got braces for both my wrists, trying wearing them to bed lately and that's helped a little bit, most of the time i try to wear them if they don't get in the way, but i find there's a lot of things that are way harder to do with wrist braces on. thanks for the kind words <3

[ros3ybabe]

Check In - September 25th & 26th, 2023 🎀

these last two days have not been at all like I would’ve liked them to be. I started getting sick on Monday night and now that’s exactly what happened, I am sick and very unhappy about it. Luckily I think it’s just a cold this time but I always dislike getting sick. I’m not going to inicie a What I Ate in this check in because I genuinely don’t remember at the moment what I ate on Monday and Tuesday. this will just be a what I’ve accomplished post.

Monday 25th -

🩷 Personal Accomplishments -

went to bed at a decent time

Left work early to take care of myself

Morning skincare

Japanese Duolingo/Busuu for 15 minutes

🩷 Academic Accomplishments -

Completed module 5 notes for health and sport class

Completed module 5 quiz for health and sport class

Completed stocks assignment for personal finance class

Started notes for chapter 6 for my psyc class

I mentioned that I went home early from work on Monday and that was due to having a full blown panic attack in the work office in front of my supervisor. I think I had been stressed about school stuff and when I felt myself getting sick I just panicked and ended up with a near debilitating attack. I’m so grateful for my supervisor, she talked me down from the panic attack and then let me go home because she saw how it was affecting me. I love my work family.

Tuesday 26th -

🩷 Personal Accomplishments -

Took time off school due to being ill + last nights panic attack

Showered + night skincare

Made myself dinner

Relaxed and overall had a good day

Japanese Duolingo p/Busuu 15 minutes

🩷Academic Achievements-

Completed my mid term presentation and turned it in before the due date

Reached out to my Psyc Professor about an extension for a Psyc assignment

did not do much on Tuesday due to low energy and just wanting and needing to take care of myself a little bit. I’m still sick as of right now and still planning on taking it easy to help both mind and body recover,

this was not the update I had hoped on giving but I still wanted to keep you all in the loop as to what’s going on with me. I appreciate all the kind words I’ve received from you guys. Your encouragement and kindness is one of the reasons I keep up with this blog and have the motivation to be open and honest.

til next time, lovelies🩷🤍

[hoobsie]

URGENT‼️ raising money for dental treatment 💰🦷

hi i’m Hoobsie (they/them) ♡ i’m a horror streamer/creator & unfortunately need very urgent & very expensive dental treatment. i’ve been raising/saving money for the past 5 months & last week i was finally able to have the first part of my treatment done!! i have just under $3,000 of treatment remaining before i can begin the process of getting dental implants (which will be even more money on top of everything else 🥲) as i was born without 3 permanent teeth & only baby teeth that have started falling out 🥲 this process has caused me debilitating, unbearable anxiety & i’m so grateful for every bit of help i’ve received thus far ♡

shares are also EXTREMELY appreciated. i absolutely despise asking for help but unfortunately emergencies happen 😓 thank you so incredibly much for your support!! ♡

you can donate via my ko-fi here:

ko-fi.com/hoobsie 🤍

[fragmentedfae-userboxes]

hi! id love any of these, thank you! 🤍

— obviously no pressure at all, just to fill up your queue if you’d like.

“this system is scared [constantly.]”

“this system thinks people take dpd too lightly.”

“this system is in a constant state of freeze.”

“this system is in a constant state of fear.”

“this system is in a constant state of fawn.”

“this system has debilitating dpd.”

“this system cannot regulate itself without their dp.”

“this system cannot function without its fp.”

“this system struggles to function alone.”

“this system cannot function alone.”

“this akutagawa fictive desperately misses dazai.”

“this fictive misses their source mentor”

[if possible] “this fictive misses their source abuser.”

Queued!!

I added some others just to make some complete sets

[louisisalarrie]

Try to focus on what we know, not what we don’t. Addiction is a disease and is the core cause. It’s entirely possible he wanted and sought out the drugs, probably for lots of reasons. It doesn’t have to be deeper than that, there doesn’t have to be a big conspiracy. (And suggesting as such is frustrating for those struggling with addiction and addicts in their lives). Love you 🤍

yeah I agree. Thank you anon. I do have an addict in my life and can completely understand how debilitating this disease can be and how it can change everything in a split second. so awful. Love you too 🧡

[sussyscurryscorpio]

Scorpio Placement Observations

(This picture doesn't belong to me in any way) (I just typed whatever I've observed in people around me, so please take only what resonates) (Also, these may apply to 8th house placements too. Tell me if it does)

SCORPIO MOON:

~Every time you're happy, you just can't help but think, "How long until it all crashes down?" It's like you invent your own problems, when there aren't any, and suffer in it until you think hard about what you're crying about and its bleh-bloh-bluh. Nothing.

~"Fuck, I don't even know whatever the hell I am crying about. It's just I want to cry. I feel so down". Then, you get sad about being sad all the damn time and ugh, it's the feedback loop from hell. (Subtle art of not giving a fuck- Mark Manson)

~Having this placement is like your own mind being your worst enemy. You, often, might find it hard to control the negative self talk inside your head. You might even picture, like the three people who shouldn't even matter saying harsh shit to you. Those are not real people, mate. That is your own mind.

~Even if everything in your life is going just fine, it'll keep reminding you how your past sadness felt like. It'll make you cry even if your life is perfect. (If you can call it that) It'll make you addicted to that dropping of your heart, chaos in your head, swirling tsunami of emotions inside you.

~I don't know why but this, of all planets, is the worst debilitated placement. Like your mind is what stays with you all the damn time. This doesn't make your mind weak, it just pushes it to overthink about even the tiniest of shits.

~I don't know if I am exaggerating at this point, but you might find it hard to shut your thoughts. The more you try to keep everything in your head silent, the more the voices scream.

"Are your okay? Are your fine?" "NO I AM NOT, PLEASE STOP ASKING ME THAT" and still the voices in your head will keep repeating the above question.

~But, I've seen, most people who have this placement can read into what's going on in someone's head. They'll notice the tiniest of the smirks, the discreet glint in someone's eyes, the vibe of the whole damn room, that snarky tone of the nicest girl in class, everything. Even if you're a bad judge of people with this placement, you'll notice the red flags even before they show. The reason you fell for their facade is all because you ignored your gut and intuition. "Everything was pointing out how (someone) didn't have their best interest for me but god, I am such an idiot for not paying attention to it."

~To all Scorpio Moons out there, I am proud of you for making it everyday. This isn't an easy placement to have. Oh no wait, that's a rather humble way to put it. This is a challenging, hard, tough, formidable, rough, and what not placement to live with. You're doing great, bud.🤍

~And people who do astrology, 70% of them are Scorpio Moons. I've seen this here on Tumblr, on Discord. It's crazy. Stereotype of Scorpionic Moon being heavily into occult sciences.

~Aaaand. You're all very secretive. You'll come out of the bathroom crying and nobody would know you cried. It's like only you know what you feel. You know the tsunami inside and everybody else is unaware of that fact.

SCORPIO MERCURY:

~I don't know why but this happens a lot with Mercury in Scorpio that they might be joking and everything and there are people laughing. Then suddenly, they say something, not even offensive, and someone takes such an offence over what they say, they'll spoil the Scorpio Mercury's whole vibe and mood.

~Like, they were just joking one second earlier and suddenly they're literally appalled and trying to contemplate how people can twist their words into something so ugly, which they didn't even meant or thought was possible to be thought of, AT ALL.

~After that, they'll just stop speaking much with anyone and shut up. I mean, they don't open up much. They don't. Even if they do, it's a faux persona. That's not the real them. The real them is the one who tried opening up until shit happened (scenario above) and won't open up to you EVER AGAIN.

That plutonian death and rebirth. Speaking your heart, getting hurt by people's reaction, ghosting everyone.

~Oh and this placement doesn't make you a loner. At all. Scorpio Mercury people have, generally, delivered me the juiciest gossip around, Or they don't know anybody's name except their one friend.

One, extremely social Leo Rising with Scorpio Mercury friend of mine knows every shit going around the school. Who fucked who, where, when and how long. He knows everything. He's the go-to person for supplying gossip (and vape?)

And then my extremely introverted Taurus Rising with Scorpio Mercury bestie, doesn't know anybody's name except me, her boyfriend, and our 2 other friends. I'll tell her how this girl screwed around her bestie's boyfriend and 10 minutes later, I'll show her, "Look, that's the bitch" and she'll be like "What bitch? Who are we talking about?" ... I didn't go to school for a month and asked her for gossip and the only thing she came to know was what I already knew 2 months earlier and I DID TELL HER THEN, but she forgot. Pfft.

~Ah shit, I forgot. You are splendid writers. The way you write those raw emotions, fuck, I'm scarred already. It's like beautiful and heart breaking at the same time.

~And you all cuss a lot. It's fun though, ain't it?

~Also, you're just as secretive, aren't you? Your emotions are just for you and your writings to feel.

SCORPIO VENUS

~I mean. Step on me already, please. How are you so hot? Even if you are super possessive of your lover and possibly want to kill the guy they were laughing with 5 minutes ago, I love you, Scorpio Venus.

~I haven't met many Scorpio Venus people honestly. I wish I had. But so many celebrities have this in their sidereal charts and man, they're goddamm gorgeous. Katy Perry, Billie Eilish, Kendall Jenner, Sarah Hyland, Alexa Demie, Nina Dobrev, Rita Ora, and so many more. Look at them closely, they aren't just gorgeous or beautiful, they have an intense look on them. Masters of Siren eyes. Their faces have a kinda shadowy look, you know. Oh and this is in Sidereal, not tropical. (Legit had to calculate everyone's chart one by one 'cause google got no shit)

~No hate to Tropical, you all. It's just I prefer Sidereal for certain reasons. More so now that I know that Leonardo Dicaprio is a Scorpio Venus in Tropical and no way is that happening. (He's got a fkn Libra Stellium of Sun, Venus, Mars, Mercury and maybe even Moon in Sidereal and I'm drooling)

~So, back to Scorpio Venus. I haven't really noticed Scorpio Venus having commitment issues generally? I mean if you have, that's absolutely fine. It's just what I've noticed in my conversations with a few Scorpio Venuses.

~They define passion. Maybe I'm stereotyping, but come on, Scorpio is ruled by Mars (Or Pluto) There's got to be some passion. Or a lot of passion rather. Mhmm. Don't give me those bedroom eyes, I'll submit to you, Master.

~Jokes aside. I gotta ask you this. Scorpio Venus, are you of the opinion that sex is not just for pleasure, but a divine linkage of two souls? A connection, a bond, a higher form of spiritual act in itself? Sex might not be everything, but it is very important to you if things are to work for you and your partner?

~You're not into casual relationships, fuck and fly BS, least likely to have a threesome. I've seen this with Capricorn Venuses too. They don't like sharing their loved ones at all. (Sextiles, y'know) Super Loyal Lovers- Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn. (Always)

~Oh and, wear more black. It's your color after all. Black, Purple, these shades bring out your eyes more, or your features are highlighted. And you can totally be seductive without meaning to. You don't even try, it just, its a part of you. (Envious totally)

~And please, you're definitely not extreme, or too much. Maybe for Sagittarius or Libra Venus, idk, you could be, or maybe not, since these signs take it slow and are open to experimenting more, you're absolutely perfect in the way you love. Just, take it easy sometimes too. Intensity all time isn't fun, don't you think?

~OH. Steer clear of obsessive people. Scorpio Venuses attract a crazy lot of lovers often, which are an handful ofc. And also, be conscious of jealous friends. Man, one of my friends has this and her bestie was so insecure and jealous, she went on to screw the Scorpio Venus's ex bf just to prove that she's just as pretty as her. Ugh. Petty.

~Also, please don't give so much of yourself to anyone that there's nothing left for you. You love too much and not everyone deserves it. Hook up culture ain't for you, just don't put your heart in a place where it's left to dust and forgotten.

~You're secretive too, right? Nobody would know you're in love and inside you could be doing backflips and somersaults, totally lovesick.

[marsprincess889]

Hi congratulations on your 400 followers and upcoming many more🤍🧿✨I also want to participate in your new game my big 3:

Swati Sun(pada 1) (9 degree) 5H

Shatabhisha(pada 1)Moon(7degree) 9H

Ardra (pada 4)Rising (Rahu (5degree)and Jupiter(21 degree) in 1H)

Thankyouuuu 💗🌷

Hiii, thank you!!!

Oh my god, all rahu nakshatras? Oh my god????

Oh, wow, well, the obvious thing is: VERY Rahuvian. So sorry if this innapropriate to say but, do you/have struggle(d) with anxiety? Sorry if that's true. (🤍)

Anyways, you might be comfortable with rahuvian energies, you might have A LOT of interests, a wide variety of them. Astrology is an obvious, I also think you like art, you might like analyzing art/people/life in general. You might like to watch and observe, without nessecarily intending to do anything at all about it. I think you have many hobbies, if you don't you might get in your head a lot, you might overthink, overanalyze. You might have a lot of talents but you might despise using them for superficial goals. You really appreciate art, anything meaningful with beauty in it. You have a debilitated sun(in swati), you might struggle with identity and self-confidence sometimes, you might compromise yourself for relationships/knowledge/art. You also have enemy yonis: Shatabhisha(horse) moon and Swati(buffalo) sun. One thing I've observed about people who have enemy yoni nakshatras in their big three is that it's rarely a problem for them. Other people might think that they're contradictory or hard to figure out/define, but those people themselves are usually comfortable with both energies. The one that they almost always more comfortable with, is the yoni of their moon nakshatra, in your case-horse yoni of shatabhisha. Since both shatabhisha and swati and rahu nakshatras, it's even easier in your case. You might appear more intimidating than you are in person and you quickly warm up to people who share your interest, but you remain wary of everyone.