#it’s a technicality and it’s hilarious

[hoshifighting]

can u do svt reaction with no nut november😋 love ur writing!!!!

seungcheol: he starts off strong, “this is easy, i’m basically a monk.” but makes it to day three, tops, before he’s in your DMs, like, “okay, you win, come over.” literally holding his head in his hands before fisting his hard cock.

jeonghan: jeonghan only joins no nut november to annoy you, trying to show off his self-control. “oh, it’s nothing. i can do this easily.” but when you start teasing him day after day, sending him nudes and flirty messages, he’s practically boiling. but he holds out until the end of the month, when December 1st 00h comes, this man is slutting you out.

joshua: tells you he’s “doing great” and that the challenge is “actually easy.” but secretly, he’s sneaking off every day, trying to relieve himself without you finding out. when you catch him, all flushed and a mess, and he’s stuttering like, “uh, i… didn’t know you’d see that.”

junhui: bro is all talk, boasting that he can last the whole month, but he’s the first one to start slipping. he tries to distract himself by going out, playing games, whatever he can, blows his cover, blow his load, by day five.

hoshi: this poor dude loses on day one. you know it, and he knows it. he tries to act tough, but if you cross from the bathroom to the bedroom only in a towel, he’s done for. he sulks the rest of the day, throwing a mini tantrum after fucking you and losing it, and when you tease him about it, he’s all pouty. “you did this to me!”

wonwoo: he thinks he can outsmart everyone, claiming he’s going to meditate his way through november. when you sleep with him in your babydoll or tiny shorts, he’s all softening up, biting his lip and fighting his instincts. he tries to be stoic, he’s grumbling under his breath, and it’s hilarious to watch. “this is unfair. can you at least stop wearing those?”

woozi: he’s stressed from the get-go. the man is rolling his eyes at everyone, snapping at the members over the tiniest things, all because he’s with a throbbing erection in his pants. you’re just fanning the flames, sending him ALL the nudes you can, and he’s getting more and more drained. “why are you like this?” he hisses, but he secretly loves the attention. by week two, he’s a complete mess, desperately trying to hide it, but he’s too transparent. every time you catch him zoning out, you know exactly where his mind is.

minghao: iron will. he goes through the whole month with a straight face, the second december hits, he’s on you. he’s using every spare second to make up for lost ground. by week’s end, he’s practically cock-sore from going at it so much, and you’re laughing, asking him if all that was worth it.

mingyu: he’s so sure he can trick his way through it, asking you to dry hump him because, technically, it’s not breaking the rules, right? but the second you start grinding down, he keeps trying to pull you off before he cums, soon, he’s begging you to stop, whispering about how he can’t take it anymore, so.. just another way losing the NNN.

seokmin: determined to stick to the rules, but struggling hard. he’ll pull you in for heated makeouts, his hands squeezing and holding you tight as he tries to discount on something. flushed and breathing hard, whispering apologies for pulling away clearly fighting himself every step of the way. he’s convinced he can make it to the end “it’s fine, i got this,” he’d insist, though his grip on you says contrary.

seungkwan: “oh my god, don’t come near me!” gets whiny about how hard he is. he’ll throw little tantrums, pouting and going on about how it’s torture whenever you tease him. by the end of the month, he’s practically begging, dropping hints that he’d break if you just said the word, making it clear he’s only “doing this for you” while clearly waiting for the green light to give in.

vernon: he's “nah, i’m good” from the start. “you’re trying too hard.” but little by little, he catches himself glancing your way, biting his lip, feeling the itch just a bit more every time you walk by. he won’t admit it, but by week four, he’s giving you these longing looks when he thinks you aren’t looking.

chan: determined, but let’s be real, he’s also a bit naive about how tough it’ll be. if you teasw him, he’s practically falling apart every time you’re around. by the middle of the month, he’s so worked up he’s stammering just being near you, you catch him blushing like crazy when you touch him, and by the end of it, he’s practically begging you to let him break the rules.

[iamespecter]

I'm curious, do you have a sona or oc that represents you as an artist?

Well, I typically use Specter (She/they/it) as my online presence sona

She's an object-head tech demon with an eel tongue, and a capacity for trolling

She is what you would call "silly" as she sets an orphanage on fire because imagine not having parents lmao skill issue

[igotanidea]

Hero: Damian Wayne x reader

(family rules finale)

A/N: Family rules finale, ladies and gentleman! Forgive me, if I got a litlte rusty during hiatus, hope you'll still enjoy <3

Family rules masterlist

***

„Let go of me, Nightwing! She needs my help, can’t you see that-“

“Hush.”

“She is being-“

“Shut up Damian!”

Now, this, this was surprising.

Dick Grayson, the forever cool, positive and optimistic seemed to be losing his cool, clenching fists and jaw. He was not blind, duh! He saw what this asshole was doing to his daughter.

Dick was always very sensitive when it came to any type of violence and the fact that Y/N was the girl of whom Damian took a liking to was intensifying his fury tenfold.

Damn, he himself was hanging by a thread, forcing himself to not barge inside and take matters in his own, gloved hands.

But there were so many things and variables to consider. From what Dick knew about Y/N (cause Damian was not talking about her at all) she was rather withdrawn (reasons in the form of the scene unfolding in their eyes), with no friends, who would care for her. The only person who stalked her in wanting to talk was – Damian. Therefore technically, if anyone were to wander by her house at his hour would be him. And at the moment he was about to barge inside in his Robin suit.

And since Dick also knew Y/N was smart and good at connecting the dots there was a heavy risk of her figuring out that Damian=Robin. And then all the rest, getting up the hill to the identity of Batman himself.

And despite the attitude Dick had to many of Bruce’s rules, the secret identity one was a priority and the one he was not going to break.

Yet.

Lost in thoughts, he didn’t even notice Damian taking off and rushing over the lawn to her window.

“Damn! Robin, come back here!”

As if that could stop him.

If the situation wasn’t so dramatic, it would be truly hilarious.

If Y/N and/or her father were to look outside the window they would notice Nightwing and Robin struggling against one another on their estate, pulling at the cape, standing on feet, throwing batons and waving katana around.

 Like freaking comic characters in a kids’ show that intends to be funny but gives the adult a heavy cringe from embarrassment.

“I’m going in!” Damian yelled.

“You are not-“

“AGGHG!”

“Stop it!” Dick did a few backflips, miraculously escaping the blade. Damn, this was so much easier a few years ago, but now his older body was a little less agile even if Grayson refused to admit it. Meanwhile, 17 year old Damian seemed to be at the peak of his abilities. Cutting Dick’s opportunity to grab Robin’s cape and hold him midair with his feet dangling furiously.

“She needs my help!”

“Actually the help would be really helpful here. “ third voice, mocking, cut into the discussion, making both Dick and Damian stop.

Y/N was leaning on the doorframe, arms folded on her chest, look of pure contempt in her eyes as he observed the two vigilantes doing only what could be described as fooling around with each other. Her cheek was reddened and there was a faint stream of blood running down her arms.

So much for Dick’s masterplan.

“Thanks for nothing, you two.” She mocked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um…” Damian stuttered, suddenly feeling awfully called out on his behavior.

“Hm? You were saying?”

“Nothing…” he looked down like a schoolboy, while Dick was standing a little behind, biting the inside of his cheek to not burst out laughing at him.

“I’m sorry, Nightwing, is this funny to you?” Y/N was too perceptive for their own good. “Please, so share the positives you see in the situation.”

“Um…” this time Dick was the one blushing like a kindergartener, caught stealing sweets from the top shelf.

“I actually thought you were supposed to help people?”

“Um…”

“Wow, how do you help anyone if you can’t even make one sentence?”

“Ok, enough.” Finally Damian managed to get his tongue back “this is enough.”

“Is it?”

God, she was infuriating even now. He was trying to help her (again) and she was pushing him away (again).

“Stop it.”

“Or what?”

“Or- or-“

“Or what?” she repeated, her eyes fixed on him, almost drilling a hole into his masked face.

“You’re being ridiculous!”

“You’re the one playing catch on my lawn!”

“I’m trying to free you from the abuser your father is!”

“Well look how it worked!”

“It would be much better if you try to be a little more appreciative!”

“Screw you!”

“What?!”

This girl never made any sense. How was it possible that he fell for this chaotic mess of a human being. She was making him crazy. Crazy! And not in a good sense.

“How long have you been sitting on that tree?”

“Well, um-“

“This is my fault-“ Dick tried to interject but she sent him a look so full of fury he had to take a step back with hands raised in surrender.

“I’m not talking to you.” She growled to Dick, turning back to Damian.  “I am so done! I’m done! Men are just completely useless!”

“But-“

“You know what, heroes are useless!”

Now this hurt.

“This is not fair-“ Damian started, but it was too late. Months of abuse, fear and holding her emotions back for the sake of everyone else found a way out in the wave of white fury, blinding her rational thinking. She was so tired of waiting for someone to help her. Exhausted from hoping for a prince on a white horse to come and take her away from this place.

She was not helpless.

And this line of thinking got her into the crazy decision of taking matters in her own hands.

“Y/N! Y/N, where are you going!? Wait! Wait, what are you going to do?! Stop!”

As she turned on her heel, blind and deaf to any external stimuli, walking back towards the house like  a mad woman Damian immediately took after her. And Dick did too.

If Y/N was a supernatural being this would be the moment for her to go into a magical change in the cloud of white light.

This would be the moment for her to get a silly, fairy-like outfit, a cape and/or ability to fly and beam lasers from her eyes.  

But this was reality and not a manga show.

And she was a hero even without a latex costume.

Or maybe – that was what made her more of a hero.

***

“Please remind me to never make that girl angry.”

Damian scoffed, but there was a hint of smugness in his voice as he responded.

“That was something, wasn’t it?”

Half an hour later, Dick and Damian were leaning over the same tree by her house, watching her father being taken by the police.

Shockingly (or maybe not so much), pushed to the very edge of her endurance, Y/N had walked inside the house, and with zero second guessing or doubts, had called the police, reporting the abuse she had been experiencing from her parent.

Damian had never been more proud of anyone in his entire life.

And she did it without his help.

Which under any other circumstances would probably make him mad, cause he was supposed to be the savior, but hey – having a girl who could hold her own was even better.

“You know anyone else would probably call her mental—”

“Hey! Hold your tongue Grayson!”

“Hm? Why?” Dick smirked “getting territorial?”

“Shut up!”

“She’s not even your girl, you know.”

“I said shut up!”

“Please don’t start again-“

***

“Hey Y/N, can we talk?”

She was talking to the policeman, giving her explanations on the situation, looking a little fatigued from everything that happened, but upon hearing his voice turned around.

“I don’t know, I am a little busy here-”

“I’ll take it from here, officer.” Damian cut off not only her words but any possible objection from the policeman, gently grabbing her forearm and leading her away from the crime scene.

“Where’s your babysitter?” she teased, seeing as Nightwing was nowhere to be found.

“He was getting a little too fearless for his own good so I bound him to the tree.”

“You’re joking.” She chuckled, “wait. You are joking right? Please tell me, you didn’t actually trap Nightwing on my tree.”

“Relax. He’s not in immediate danger. At least not at the moment.”

“The hell does that-?”

“How are you feeling?” he interrupted her again, studying her face from behind the mask, taking in the pale face, tired eyes and relief mixed with worry, etched on her face. “And do not try to put on a brave face.”

“How do you think I feel?”

“I’m not a mind reader.”

“Too bad. Cause that’s not something I could explain in a few words. At the moment I am mostly exhausted. But also a bit of fear.”

“Of what?”

“Future. Now that my dad would probably end up locked up… what will happen to me?”

“Y/N…”

“You know I never asked you how you know my name.”

“Y/N…”

“Do you learn the names of everyone in Gotham? Didn’t take you for the considerate type.”

“How is it possible that you switch between acting vulnerable and mean so swiftly?” he mocked, hiding the fact that her words actually did hit a nerve.

“Maybe it’s my superpower.” She sighed.

“Y/N…”

“Hm?” she kept her eyes on the ground, her mind suddenly starting to spin as she only now started considering the consequences of her actions.

Damian cupped her cheek, softly, unable to stop himself from the gesture of affection, guiding her eyes on him.

“You did the right thing.” He whispered

“Did I?” her voice shook a little “then why does it feel like I’m –”

“No. No, don’t even finish that sentence.” He rubbed her skin, shocking not only her but also himself. “You were the victim here and he deserves everything that is going to happen to him now. He had it coming. Forcing you to get information on Waynes? Using you to get to me and –“

They both froze.

Shit.

Shit, he said “to me”. And there was no way she wouldn’t catch up on that, even with her tiredness and distraction.

“Are you—”

“Y/N.”

“Damian?”

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“I know, but- but why-? How-? When-?”

“Not now.”

“But-“

“Not now, Y/N.” he cupped both her cheeks, keeping eyes on her “Not with so many people around. Later, I promise.”

“You promise, huh? And I’m just supposed to trust you? How long have you known about-“

“A few days, I swear. If I knew earlier than-“ he clenched his jaw, his hold on her becoming a little tighter. “then I wouldn’t hold myself responsible for my own actions towards your father. Bastard.”

“Well it’s done now…”

“I’m not leaving you alone, you know that?”

“I didn’t.”

“Ouch.”

“Oh, don’t act like that actually did hurt you.”

“And if I told you it did, would you kiss it better?”

“Robin!” she teased “are you flirting?”

Damian blushed in response, feeling like a total idiot and completely out-of-character.  Damn Grayson and damn trying to copy his stupid smug way of talking to girls. Clearly it wasn’t working for him.

“I- I mean, I-“

She only smiled softly, standing on her tiptoes and kissing his cheek, letting her lips linger on the skin a little longer than necessary.

“That’s all you get for now.”

“But-“

“You got some heavy explaining to do. But on the good side? I won’t be used a snitch since now, so who knows where this goes…” she turned to walk away but he grabbed her hand and spun her around to him

“Y/N…”

“Hm?”

Screw his attitude. Screw copying Grayson and keeping his distance. Screw the pretenses. Screw everything.

He pulled her into his chest, softly, almost shyly pressing her lips to his, feeling the tips of his ears burning. He was kissing her. She was kissing him. And it felt…

Good.

So good.

Not like that first kiss at the Wayne’s gala when they simply got lost in the moment.

No.

This one was more deliberate, more mature and definitely wanted by both of them. As if everything that happened in the short span of a few months made them more aware of their own emotions and needs. 

And even though it did not clear all the misunderstandings and understatements, it was a good way forward, with his lips moving against hers, and her nose brushing affectionately over his.

Soft, sweet and seemingly innocent, but filled with so many feelings simmering under the surface. 

“I’ll take care of you…” he whispered, pulling back after a moment, connecting their foreheads.

“I don’t need you to take care of me…”

“I hate you. You’re ruining the moment, Y/L/N. I am going to take care of you, whether you like it or not.”

She chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

“If this thing between us is going to work, I seriously hope you are never going to change.”

Damian groaned internally.

She was going to make him go crazy in the foreseeable future.

But he was not going to let go.

Not all heroes wear capes...

@6000-fandoms @beyond-your-stars @mikyapixie

@heartz4miz @crookedmakerfury @mariam12344 @celestair

@faimmm @hornyslasher @urdarlingali @emmalove1111 @crookedmakerfury @herondale-lightworm @itzjustj-1000 @ginger24880 @anonymousmuffinbear @adharawitch @jasons-little-princess @sharkybabydoll @cupids-diner @whydoyoucare866 @ladychibirae @amber-content @atadoddinnit @mouse-face1 @m3ntally-unstable @jinviktor @idonthaveanameforthisacc @no-lessthan3 @simp-simp-no-mi

@thotsofadepravedwoman @lookingforsyd @13shewhomustnotbenamed @bloodyboi @kore-of-the-underworld @girlblogger-04 @cloudserenity

[restrictedreadingtwst]

Playing video games with friends is always an experience, funny or aggravating. But when sharing a game with a special someone you can bond over all the little details and share the memories of learning and playing together. So what's it like playing a special game with your special someone like Idia, a mad gamer who has almost every game figured out, and Malleus, a fae who has no interest in learning about the technical side of modern society?

tw: none?

Gn!Reader at best, please excuse any mistakes.

Groups: Idia + Malleus

Since Idia is always cooped up in his room, when you come over to spend time with him you always end up watching him play his games but it gets boring being an observer. You can ask to try out whatever game he’s playing but sometimes they are a little complicated and leave you upset that you don’t get it. So when Idia mentions an old game that was getting an update, you have a look at it and something just clicked in you. I guess he took notice cuz next thing you know he gifted you a brand new laptop with Stardew Valley newly updated. 

✦ Idia is a try hard, he’s grinding and calculating every day with precision in order to get the most out of the early game. He’s pretty informative on the do's and don’ts; and with this new update he's looking into newly awaken forums on brand new intel to better get a good grasp on the game. And then there is you, the new farmer who likes to talk to the townspeople and take your time to fish and farm, discovering things as you go. So when Idia is off unlocking things, you are looking into the farm and making it pretty with what little guidance Idia gave you. 

✦ Half the time, Idia is spending his times in the mines or skull cavern to get you gems and materials for all the cute furniture you wanna make to decorate your home. The money he earns ends up spent on more seeds, more recipes, upgrading the farm and house, a brand new fishing rod to catch better fish and you always thank him with a kisses irl. And he doesn’t complain, cuz sometimes you do things absolutely hilarious that he can’t be mad at you since you’re a newbie at the game. Plus, you have an eye for design so he can come home to a cute house where you cooked some more food for him to take when he leaves for the caves again, he’s dying on the inside from just how cute you are. 

✦ Idia had his favorites in the past, he no longer considers romancing the npcs anymore since he has you and practically unlocked every achievement known in the past. But when he realizes that you’re talking with Alex or hanging out with Sam while on a walk to the beach, he gets paranoid and begins to pursue you in game. Gifting you diamonds, tulips and sunflowers, a whole ass prismatic shard. It isn't until you are given the bouquet that you laugh at how he’s trying to settle down in the game faster than he would in real life. He’s a mess but he won’t mention it. Plus when you return the favor with a mermaid’s pendant, he’s gushing and flustered in real life. He almost forgets to accept it. 

✦ When you come over for another gaming session, Idia whines that he missed you while you smother his head with kisses and a hug. Booting up your laptop and logging in, you find the farm decorated beautifully with flowers and enchanting sets. Idia had set up the whole wedding venue as a surprise before you got on. Come the next day you guys would be married in game, and you're gushing at how well he cleaned up the farm for you. He says it’s nothing but the sly smirk and the tint of pink brushing his features tells you that he’s more then happy to do anything for you!

When Malleus was introduced to his new console, it was a birthday gift given to him from both you and Lilia. Seeing as you enjoy your little video games and liked showing him the little things you’ve created on your switch, you had the bright idea to share this experience with him with his own green nintendo switch! With the help of Lilia, you showed him how to use the controls and how to take good care of it, seeing as it was different from his tomodachi. Once he gets a grasp on it, you then share with him a game you’ve been meaning to play with him, Animal Crossing. 

✦ Since the game is very slow pace and you guys can do whatever you want, He spends a lot of this time following in your footstep. You show him how to gather items, dig up fossils and the bell system. If you’re fishing, he’s busy trying to catch a bug nearby so he has an excuse to stay near your character. His least favorite thing is when he shakes a tree and he misses the wasps. If he could burn down the console he would, but you hurry over in game to cure him of his ugly bug bites. It leaves him all giddy to think that you would nurture him back to health so the upcoming thunderstorm outside subsides. 

✦ With decorating, he does his best to fit your vision for the island while also adding his own opinions. Sure you can place your favorite villages nearby as long as you guys can put your castle-like house at the very top of the island. Do you want beautiful waterways with a forest vibe? Of course you can, but as long as you have an enchanting rose garden that you both can sit in. And while you two share a house, he loves to decorate his room with historical art and the few gargoyles you’ve made for him in game. His eyes sparkle when he looks at your shared ‘Nest'. He loves when you make things for the two of you to spend time in, but if a villager gets in his way he will pout and plot against them.

✦ Speaking of the villagers, he adores them so much. For one, he loves how they are all so friendly and have the strangest of humor. Of course, they are characters in a game so none of them would be scared of him, but he loves how they all wave and smile at each other. His favorites are the deer and alligator villagers. He finds them oddly familiar as his starters are a sleepy deer and a loud, proud alligator. But other then that, he makes an effort to greet every villager they pass around the island and help them with their little task as a great king would. 

✦ When you both play together, you find yourself sitting in his lap and leaning back on his chest with your switch lite in hand. Malleus has a larger screen per request so that you can help him better, so he is able to hold you and play along. While fishing, he leans over and leaves kisses in your hair, smiling as you pout and complain about him distracting you as you watch the fish escape your grasp.

[gold-rhine]

Not Kaeya solving their severe understaffed problem by employing neighboring spy 😭😭

“We had a problem and i Took care of the problem. don’t ask me how it happened, let us thank Barbatos �� kaeya to jean probably when she asked where did all the treasure hoarders go. and maybe she thinks it was Diluc and wow its so nice of Sir Diluc how did he do it? but he is actually making juice and complaining to his employees about war or smth meanwhile Yelan is trying to hold Kaeya the favor that she did help him or something and he says they once sent Noelle to liyue snd she just helped them there so they should call it even idk the whole concept is hilarious to me

context - https://www.tumblr.com/gold-rhine/766295051743674368

but like yeah, i think this kind of tricks would fit with kaeya exactly, like he swindlled fatui for money by organizing "conference" and how he tricked traveler into helping without direct asking, etc. he knows jean should NOt learn about it under any circumstances bc she will try to pay liyue back. meanwhile after archon quests kaeya meets yelan and is like "hey so you know how traveler landed in mond, so they are technically from here, and then they went and saved liyue, so i think actually its YOU who owes mond for help and ..." and he then he dodges bc yelan is already shooting him in the head sdfghjk

[arkangelo-7]

Okay, but, imagining Clark Kent and Lois Lane, ace reporters, being in charge of moderating the presidential debate is fucking hilarious.

Like—it’s a shit show from the beginning. Lois is too much of a boss bitch to allow anyone to talk over her and you bet her ass she’s turning off the mic the MOMENT one of the presidential nominees goes over their time limit or tries to interrupt her.

She also religiously fact checks both parties right in the middle of their rebuttals, and it gets so bad that she actually ends up debating both the nominees at one time. Total chaos. No one has any idea where she stands politically because she’s just arguing with everyone and calling out the BS on both sides of the aisle.

And then there’s Clark.

Clark, who, don’t you forget, is actually a damn good reporter. (You don’t skip that much work without getting fired if you aren’t just fucking spectacular at your job, this guy’s got to be like the Kobe Bryant of reporting.) Even though he’s not entirely sure that he should be moderating a presidential debate (he’s technically an immigrant and has, technically, been illegally voting in elections since 2008), he ends up doing very well.

Clark asks a lot of insightful and relevant questions, but gets so irritated when neither of the candidates actually answer the damn question that he has to take a five minute break to keep from burning the studio down with his heat vision. He’s also not as effective as one would think at corralling Lois, which means she spends half the night drilling into these presidential candidates while Clark is in the background trying very hard not to loose his shit.

The debate ends with two thoroughly angered politicians, an indictment by FOX news, a cease and desist from CNN, a formal twitter apology from the Daily Planet, and two very pissed off (but patriotic) reporters.

[ragsy]

"Papa, will you tell me again the story of how you got your sword?"

Well, my boss pulled me aside on Monday morning.

"I need you to see something," she whispered. She spoke with the gravity of a library director who's had to deal with bedbugs, tornadoes, roof leaks, and public masturbators in the same fiscal year.

She led me to her office, then gestured to the object lying on her desk.

"So, this got donated to our bookstore over the weekend."

A fucking real-ass ornate longsword. Her grave expression broke into a wry grin.

"I just thought you'd get a kick out of this."

She was right! That's hilarious! I wanted to know the person who had a sword in their house that they needed to dispose of, and thought of the library as the first place who would want it. That thing probably has a bitchin' curse on it. Hope it goes to someone who will appreciate it

We laughed, I returned to my desk. I resumed my normal duties.

Several hours later, the manager of the bookstore approaches me.

"How are you enjoying your new sword?" she asks. The bookstore manager is 85 years old, five feet tall, and as mild-mannered-midwestern as they come. She was the one who received the sword from our generous donor; the mental image of her carrying the damn thing all the way across the parking lot is about to send me into hysterics.

"It's your sword, isn't it?" I ask. Refusal of the call to adventure, I guess.

"Well, I don't think we can put it in the store, and you seemed interested in it. So you can have it, if you'd like."

I want it so bad.

"Can I purchase it from you?"

"Technically you can't, but you could make a small cash donation to the bookstore and I'll give it to you in exchange."

Fuck.

On my lunch break, I give $10 to the bookstore cashier and I leave with a sword.

God, I hope this thing isn't cursed.

anyone wanna see my new sword

[frownyalfred]

I love how Nolanverse Batman was like “oh I don’t use guns” and then proceeded to body the hell out of some goons with the disassembled pieces of a rifle

[puppetmaster13u]

You know what I need more of? The Batkids completely fucking with the Justice League and their rogues and coming up with stories for their existence.

Like I am talking about the creation of demigods sort of stories, like Loki sort of stories.

Duke has convinced all of Gotham that he's the Bat Signal brought to life and that's why he's never seen at night and why the signal literally doesn't work during the day. He's waiting giddily for the story to spread outside of the city.

The batkids have convinced half the League that Nightwing is quite literally Batman's lovechild with Justice. Hey, Constantine had a one night stand with the manifestation of a city and they've dealt with gods before, so surely it's not that surprising? Right???

I need more of the Batkids being little shits, of Alfred the-greatest-enabler Pennyworth backing them up and Bat(the-biggest-troll)man to never confirm the stories, but he doesn't deny them either.

[nanaonmars]

jason: why won’t you leave my dad alone?!

clark: because we’ve been together for 20 years jason… we have 8 kids, you included, and… we’re in love

duke, in the background: boke!

jason: i’ll find dirt on you yet. i’ve got people working on it.

clark: 🧍🏻

[vynnyal]

I've been having a delightful time stumbling over my emojis being used in random servers, so here's more

[erinwantstowrite]

if ao3 had the comment option that wattpad had (being able to comment on paragraphs) i would be unstoppable

[luna-loveboop]

Currently obsessed with the idea that the boys go to Time for love advice, since "he's married so he knows this stuff right?"

I mean they couldn't recognize a wedding ring??? And neither did he???

And time was saying this in his youth I mean cmon

Twilight: So ancestor. What would you do if like. Malon left to another world and never came back

Time: ... bro Malon called me fairy boy and then we were married like what

Hyrule: So uhh old man. How does one. Meet a girl.

Time: By speaking to her I guess? Or not, Malon did the talking for me

Hyrule: riiiiight...

Wild *no tact*: Hey so like... what if your redheaded wife who's name started with M died.

Time: what?!?!

Wild, undeterred: but like before she proposed.

Time: ...

Wild: and you don't remember if you would have said yes. What's your advice for dealing with that?

Time: ... vent to a fairy?

Warriors: hey old man

Time: no no no not this one asking me please

Warriors: how do I get women to stop coming after me. So I can ya know. Choose without war trying to force me into relationships

Time: I can safely say I've never had that problem captain

Wars: of course not *smirks*

Wars: ok but seriously how do I make them go away

Time: ... wear a wedding ring so they think you're taken, I've got a shiny extra

Time: no no why- they won't stop, I don't know how to do love!

Time: ok well at least I have legend. That kid would never ask for advice, I'll sit by him.

Legend: so old man.

Time, looking forward to a normal conversation: yeah?

Legend: hypothetically, what would you do if you found out Malon didn't exist.

Legend: And her whole world didn't, but it did, and now it doesn't

Time: ...Excuse me for a minute.

Time, writing a letter as fast as he can: MALON HOW DO I GIVE LOVE ADVICE THEY THINK IM WISE

Malon: lol

Happy Valentine's Day guys, have a headcanon :P

The boys go to Time for love advice and Time spouts whatever wise-sounding bs he can, before shoving them all on Malon for therapy when they visit the ranch

Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse! :D

[owlbelly]

sometimes i do actually forget that Realm of the Elderlings is technically/nominally "about an assassin" (it's in the title of every book in the first trilogy & 2/3 books in the last trilogy) because "assassin" is in fact one of the last words to come to mind when i think about Fitz

honestly i love that Robin Hobb said "let's make the main character of this series a professional assassin, but give him the skillset & temperament of an axe-wielding berserker. oh and he'll put every last point of his stealth training into Bisexual Self-Deception"

[hellenhighwater]

Fun fact, when I was asked ‘who is your favorite celebrity’ back in freshman year of high school, I realized that I didn’t know any celebrities, and promptly panicked, and answered ‘Helen Highwater, she’s like a lawyer or something’

Also I had no idea you’re a Michigander! Quick question, go blue or go green?

im famous....

[apple8ees]

everyone shut up. cure doomed yuri ver just dropped.