#it wasnt my fault to start with | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loveyourlovelysoul · 1 year ago

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#bnw #photography #love #citylife #cityscape #when your controlling and judging family still ends up finding your ig account and you feel you're f up #but honestly u shouldnt care too much its your life u didnt do anything wrong #and they even liked ur pics #instead of closing off more i want to open up more and whatever will be will be #im this idc if u like me or not or u find out u didnt know me at all #it wasnt my fault to start with

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danandfuckingjonlmao · 6 months ago

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whenever dan and phil say words i remember misha collins coming out as straight and think, maybe if we’re really good, that could be dnp too 🙏

#/j #joke ok i’ve only had out dan and phil for 5 years but if anything ever happened to them i would kill everyone in this room and then myself #but like sometimes if they wanna not say things like maybe my mental health would be better #<- guy who’s been a phannie for 9 years and mentally ill for over 25 years #dnp #dan and phil #phan #dan howell #daniel howell #amazingphil #phil lester #danisnotonfire #danandphilgames #yeet my deenp #yeet my deet #i think it’s fun to blame all of my problems on dnp as if i didn’t start have my existential crisis at age 4 and #wasnt saying i wished i was never born at age 8 and #wasn’t writing poetry about death and the cruelty of the world and the passage of time by age 10 and #wasn’t having panic attacks by age 12 and #didn’t start watching them at age 16 #i bet it was dan’s fault somehow #bc mr amazing has never done anything wrong ever 😤 -a dannie #tmogar #hbdnell #bog

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sallytwo · 11 days ago

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be nice to me!

#myart #wesley crusher #nick locarno #i dont even care about them. ignore this👇#the beautiful dynamic ive built in my head. wesley (most easily manipulated being on this earth) idealizing nick for letting him on the tea #as a sophomore. and trying to live up to that and reallyyy looking up to nick. coach surrogate father and best friend all in one. yeah.#yeah you WOULD look up to him mr . dead father. anyway #and nick having more influence over wes because hes a sophomore and he specially picked him. and using that to his advantage #nick wants to shape wesley in his image wes just wants friends and is terrified of letting nick down. theyre not friends its so much worsee #and then wes realizing that. AGAIN. nicks just been using him. and the last thing nick does is take the fall for the team.#so he wants to hate him and cant and then nick explodes 8 years later . and . yeah !#i think he acts like he hates him more than he does and turns him into this villian in his head. because he cant admit it was his fault too #he wants to just pin the blame on nick and convince himself hes been evil all along. because he doesnt want to admit he misses him #nick was a good team leader and was in over his head and took it out on wes and he was 22 and didnt know what he was doing but he wasnt evi #ANYWAYYYYYYY now i start listing the like 20 EE songs that remind me of them:

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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Was thinking about your au and realized that whichever neighbour wakes up last is in for a very awkward reunion

Imagine waking up to your entire neighbourhood being in an apocalyptic scenario, and you’re the last to find out about it-

technically the last neighbor is Sally BUT Julie is the last "normal-sleeping" neighbor to wake and yeah! she sure has a hell of a time! i mean tbh it's kinda her And Barnaby? they wake up within a week of each other (the neighbors wake via Pacific Rim kaiju rules) so their breakdowns overlap <3

#julie wakes up just in time for the situation to Start Deteriorating At A Rapid Pace #like 'welcome back julie! frank is very close to dying the neighborhood is quite literally beginning to crumble'#'tensions are very high and everyone is starting to lose it <3 also your memories and siblings and life and world was a lie <3 good luck!'#she and barnaby have it the worst smh #well. kinda the worst #cause sally wakes up to an (arguably) Even Worse Scenario and also tons of guilt etc etc #sally: oh so its my fault my friends are injured and/or dying/dead. cool. im going to cope with this so gracefully (lie)#(side note: the death(s) are Not her fault. they were going to happen no matter what)#(well. i say no matter what. they'd have been prevented if the lights had been turned back on but we all know that wasnt really an option)#rambles from the bog #wh lights out au #and julie does not really get time to adjust...#shit is already going down #but only a week or so after she wakes up Shit. Goes. Down.#the transition into act two occurs and thats a whooooole enchilada in of itself #and trust me a week is Not enough to adjust!#especially when frank passes out halfway through and then never wakes back up smhhhhh #julie: at least i have frank! right frank? frank? frank-#julie: ....#julie: at least i have eddie! and wally!#julie: wh- whats that? mhm. mhm. oh. really? oh...#julie: at least i have eddie!

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al-luviec · 23 days ago

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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

#alek insanity #not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant #home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day #s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but #its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his #true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish #seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each #other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people #some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here #and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to #say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav #for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has #always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he #doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong #with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only #baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me #the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did #cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the #form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird #(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was #avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol #but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself #for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc #he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow

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boxwinebaddie · 5 months ago

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okay, so...uh

~Hypothetically Speaking~

if i put ravenstan in a super scary, dramatic motorcycle accident bc he went really far out of his way to pick up something tiny that was ultimately arbitrary and wholly unnecessary but Knew would make jerseykyle happy and wanted to surprise him bc he's a rlly good sbf…

how much...Trouble would i be in?

**hYPoThetiCaLlY <3

#nina speaks #listen i know I KNOW #JAIL #AND LIKE I MEAN IM NOT GONNA /KILL/ HIM GUYS #HES JUST GONNA GET A LITTLE MAIMED U KNOW #JUST A LITTLE #JEEZ IM NOT A MONSTER #i just want kyle to think its his fault a little and freak out <3 #because he left like 100 pissed off voice messages on stans phone bc he wasnt picking up and wasnt answering his texts #HAHA #YOU KNOW #just a little zest #*starts stretchin bc i know the angry mob is abt to chase me*#EDIT: OH MY GOD WHAT IF HE WAS GONNA PROPOSE #AND KYLE THOUGHT HE FORGOT THEIR ANNIVERSARY #OH MY GOD IM IN HELL

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lupismaris · 8 months ago

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Sometimes self care is having a very stern talking to with the wounded scared parts of yourself that don't want to do the hard and difficult things and reminding them that nothing will get better if the hard and difficult things aren't even attempted

And then as a reward you promise to buy those wounded parts of yourself an entirely hot pink/pastel pink practice set if they agree to do the work required, as a little treat

#my doctor hasnt cleared me for the pitch yet so I haven't been practicing or playing yet this season and it sucks #i went to nola to support the team and did so! but i still felt out of place and forgotten about because i wasnt playing #i was rooming with players and the majority of them were very self involved (semi derogatory) which i wouldn't fault them for #if it hadnt been so deeply exhausting and so constant even after the tourney. but it is what it is i was there for them #im just tired of always feeling like the forgotten 'oh right and the other james' and feeling unwanted which isnt true #i have a place with the ferals even with my illness its my wounded ego causing issue. just cause the rfc coach was passively a dick #doesnt mean i need to pass up a wonderful opportunity for play time and friendship. ill have a chance to play with the guys #in time and ill have time to socialize with them as well in time #but i shouldn't squander an opportunity just because im wounded and bitter because of old traumas #besides more time to get fundamentals ironed out #so im ignoring my doctor somewhat and km gonna start practicing this week #lightly. just light stuff you know. cardio and working with the ball maybe since i shouldn't be on the heavy bag yet #and then next week ill buy my practice set and customize it as a Bribe to myself

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ajxrn-archive · 4 months ago

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I need to be put in a waffle iron or something

#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends #Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad #I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i #Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse #We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me #And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick #I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear #There has to be something about me so repulsive to people #That i just turn them away #its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future #I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault #I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable #my last friendships ended like this too #I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it #even though some said they werent #I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit #Because I am one #I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore #I genuinely think nobody likes me #Even when I was in school nobody liked me #I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl #I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times #I ruin everything #My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me

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thetangibleghost · 13 days ago

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I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.

#this also may have been a separate dream #i was in this big aquarium swimming and walking around. it was like. you could swim in a lot of the exhibit and interact with the animals #i had some sort of mission and i also found a baby seal who i picked up and was carrying around as i wandered around #eventually i ended up in this little nook that had one of the adult seals/walrusess? so i let the baby go but the adult was not into it and #i heard someone day something like “aw he still has hope”#theres this kid that works at the aquarium and i tell him to come with me for some reason. its around this time i realize this is some movie #the kids boss is like “next time you leave your post you gotta dive out”#and im worried a bit allready sbout him leavin his post with the adult walrus up there.#then suddenly the glass starts breaking everywhere. like one crack then the whole aquarium starts falling apart #and the kid seems a bit worried.#as were all evacuating i decide that its my fault. because the walrus must have been ramming the glass while the kid wasnt watching.#i remember thinking about how this was a movie or something and feeling really dumv #then yhe dream was over snd there was s recap??? in like drawing form and it showed the main character (me) putting a bomb in the center of #the aquarium in some sort of well or something. so. i guess it really was completely my fault in a different way than i thought #then later im at some sort of party or something and then i leave the party for another party or something? and i feel really bad sn #and socially innept the entire time. the person who i think i reconize we start talking and theyre like the first person whos nice to me #and were talking about following eachother on Instagram? or somth #while their scrolling i see a video eith one of my old friends and shes on the news? the headline is like “me and cathy snd the murder #victim...“ or something. and im like ”hey thats my friend“ and the person just shuts their phone off.#any ways so this person lets me hitch a ride with them back to the original party. they get out of the uber super early but its the right #house and the tell the driver that hes lost and the DRIVER gets out. so im like oh i guess this is their car??#and so they drive up to the drive way and three more people start getting in the car and theyre like putting stuff in the trunk #and talking about where to sit and i just start giggling.#and im still trying to participate like i offer to sit in the middle. theres already someone sitting at the front but he gets out and #everytime someone says anything i start giggling??? and like its sunny and everyone is very attractive in a way that o just found so funny #and then eventually two of then run over to this like panel dash board yhing that on a wall outside and like messing with it opening the #glove box and stuff and i just wake up #and immediately upon waking. well first i was like “teehee. i woke up from giggling” then i thought about it and i was like “oh. i was #take the front seat :(#dream log

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sophiethewitch1 · 9 months ago

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🫶 thanks for responding back! i appreciate all the hard work you’ve planned out for us 🎉 i can’t wait to see more of the darker themes fleshed out at the end of the first part, i will be waiting patiently LOL 👍 in terms of yandere, how bad do you think it will be? what do you have planned in that department?

also i hope you get better soon 😅 please take breaks and certainly take your time!

well ive said that its very mild on the yandere side even later on in the slowburn. its barely yandere more, like... obsession??... at least for the first while. the yandere part is more just there as a warning because I don't want to shock people with the small bit of dark content there will be. i really don't like yanderes that hurt reader (they just don't make sense to me. yandere to me is about having too much love, and you wouldn't hurt someone you loved??) and like,,,, spoiler cut here but like, these are all things that are in the tags/warnings/just information around

i need happy endings. i cant handle even the slightest bit bitter ending it hurts me physically. i am writing a happy ending. it will take grovelling, compromise, and probably fixing the universe but idc. i will uncritically romanticise toxic relationships. i can fix him he can fix me we will fix ourselves for each other. THATS ROMANCE BABEY!!! ITS BEING YOUR BEST SELF BECAUSE YOU LOVE SOMEONE!!! AND YANDERE IS ABOUT LOVE. ITS ABOUT LOVE!!!! ALWAYS LVOE!!!!

#sophie speaks #sophie answers #series:www #i know people want darker content #and like totes respect to that but I'm going to ride the line #we WILL have a happy ending and we WILL have reverse harem ending and I REFUSE TO ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS #YES they will kidnap you NO i don't consider that a dealbreaker. just let me out and say sorry and its fine #i wasnt even sure if id share the fic when I first started writing it #didnt think anyone would like it or its weird jokey/dark/overly sappy/also the weird dynamic all at the same time tone #this is a story about all the parts of life #the good and the bad and the parts you probably shouldn't laugh at but will anyway #im in a bit of a weird place mentally atm. I'm healing and I'm also reverting and I've never experienced dissociation in this form and its.#its confusing. this fic is just meant to be confusing but hopeful. because I'm confused but I'm never not hopeful :)#whatever man if i cant think properly i dont think its really my fault if my silly little fanfiction is too long and wordy and insane #im insane it leaks out #if that wasnt obvious...m

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nomairuins · 3 months ago

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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this #which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is #like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again #but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier #but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare #since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how #ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only #likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me #unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate #but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or #gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that #week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go #buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family #r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask #abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt #being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa #kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of #me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to #fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i #shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr #n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy #that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid #like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of #my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to #handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i #cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much #if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything #it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are

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navysealt4t · 11 months ago

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thinking about how zelda tried for years and years to get her powers only to fail every time. and she blamed hylia, asking why she wouldn't speak to her and saying its her fault when zelda literally IS hylia . and during botw and totk, link regains his strecngth through the help of hylia. through zelda. its links connection to zelda that gives him back his strength. and zelda is so . so mad. why is link so connected to her, why can he hear herand she cant? and she doesn't get it and shes so mad and traumatized and oh my god she loves him so much and hates him and hates herself and hates the goddess.

#it was her self worth issues that made it so hard for her to unlock her powers . oh my godd.#and it wasnt her fault it was never her fault. and even 100 years after. 100 years of a purgatory with calamity ganon and she still cant #underdstand.#god dont even get me started on her purgatory with ganon.#zelink (not necessarily romantic)#this counts i think.

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franklinfinley · 4 months ago

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Detention >:[

#wasnt even my fault!!!!!!!!! wadda hell #thankfully this is like. a wrist slap. but cmooon this is NOT what i need at the Start of the fucking school year

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storm-of-feathers · 1 year ago

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:/

#i learned recently that a friendship that ended suddenly for me wasnt sudden for the other person #and they somehow? blame me?? for that???#like???? somehow its MY fucking fault that im not a mind reader and didnt know you had started to hate me until after the fact #all while pretending to be my friend. what the fuck.#you comforted me while i was upset we got to talk ab silly things together and the whole time you hated me.#i dont even get it.#i honestly dont.

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