#i just want kyle to think its his fault a little and freak out <3

[boxwinebaddie]

okay, so...uh

~Hypothetically Speaking~

if i put ravenstan in a super scary, dramatic motorcycle accident bc he went really far out of his way to pick up something tiny that was ultimately arbitrary and wholly unnecessary but Knew would make jerseykyle happy and wanted to surprise him bc he's a rlly good sbf…

how much...Trouble would i be in?

**hYPoThetiCaLlY <3

[spaceskam]

consume my wine, consume my mind

kyle valenti appreciation day 3: finding someone

ao3

.1.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to take your shirt off.”

Kyle rolled his eyes with a laugh before taking a sip from his wine glass. Isobel was sprawled out on the couch in a silky little slip, channeling her inner old Hollywood widow. They'd all been taking turns to make sure she didn't do anything rash, but it'd been three months and she hadn't really done anything other than seem to enjoy the company. So Kyle kept coming.

"You are way too drunk for all that."

Isobel hummed low in her throat, turning her head in such a way that caused the strap of her slip to fall off her shoulder. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to stare. He managed it.

"Are you saying you would if I weren't drunk?" she asked, stretching her long leg out to rest her foot in his lap. Her head was on a pillow with her hair around her like a halo and the slip had ridden up to reveal just a bit of similarly silky underwear–or perhaps it had always been that length. He didn't look, rather just rested his hand on her ankle. 

"This is not a conversation we're going to have right now," he insisted, squeezing her foot gently. 

“Okay, but, when I’m not drunk,” Isobel said, her arms stretching above her head and her back arching as she let out the tiniest little noise she’d ever made. Kyle’s thoughts swam and he almost got lost in them. But she was drunk, so he kept his eyes either on his drink, her foot, or her face. Sometimes her face even seemed to obscene, though. “I would like to have that conversation.”

“Huh?” he asked dumbly. She giggled. In his defense, that moment he accidentally saw her slip riding up to reveal her midriff during her stretch had been mind-altering.

“I want to talk about your shirt and why I would like it on my bedroom floor, please,” she said, “Sober.”

“Sober,” he agreed, though he partially hoped that she would forget about this. As much as he oh so desperately wanted that, he also knew that two very angry and macho alien cowboys that would kill him for even thinking about it.

“For now, can you take me to bed, clothes in tact?” she asked, reaching her arms up with a pout on her face. 

He stared at her for a moment, just a short moment to take it all in. She was so effortlessly beautiful and he wondered how he hadn’t noticed before recently. He was dumbfounded that he hadn’t noticed in high school, hadn’t noticed in all the years they lived in the same town, hadn’t noticed whenever she was laying in a hospital bed. He had wasted so much time not taking in her beauty which should be a fucking crime. He didn’t want to go back to a time when he didn’t notice.

Kyle tried to help her stand up, but she was too drunk to find her footing. So Kyle picked her up, one arm behind her back and the other beneath her knees. Her head rested firmly against his chest and her arms went around his neck. 

She breathed him in.

He breathed her in.

He carried her to bed, pulling back her sheets and laying her down. He covered her up and tucked her in which earned playful little laughter that he reveled in.

“Thank you,” Isobel told him in a voice that wasn’t quite the one he was used to. Kyle smiled even if he wasn’t sure why exactly he was being thanked.

“No problem.”

.2.

Kyle felt his shirt start sliding up his back on its own.

“You know, I’m pretty sure this qualifies as sexual harassment,” Kyle teased and the shirt dropped immediately, “Kidding, I don’t mind.”

“If I thought you would mind even a little, I wouldn’t have done it,” Isobel said. He turned around to face her and she had a faux innocent look on her face. It melted into straight devious as she reached over to steal one of the grapes he’d just washed. “I was just practicing.”

“Mhm, sure,” he said, raising an eyebrow. She seemed very smug. “You are getting better though.”

“I agree.”

Kyle rolled his eyes and put the grapes between them before leaning on the counter. It was the first day in awhile he’d seen her actually go all out to dress up. Her hair fixed, her makeup was perfect, she had all sorts of jewelry, and a three-piece skirt suit with elegant heels. It was her first day back at work with a new client and she was thriving. Kyle was proud.

“You could take your shirt off around me whenever, though,” she hummed, smirking just a little.

“How are you even interested in that? Aren’t you tired?” he laughed. She narrowed her eyes at him a truly Isobel way. It used to make him nervous before, now it just made his day.

“Who said I wanted to do anything? Maybe I just want a topless doctor to feed me grapes and fan me. Don’t assume,” she scoffed. He smiled at her.

He plucked a grape from its stem and held it out to her. Isobel’s eyebrow raised, but she leaned forward. Her lips gently grazed his thumb as she took it. He tried not to think too hard about that.

“Now was that so hard?” Isobel asked teasingly. He almost said yes.

It seemed the more they spent time together and the more they delved into a flirtatious friendship, the more Kyle seemed to be blurring the lines in his mind. He knew on all levels that she was joking, that this was just how she was, but sometimes it felt real. Sometimes he desperately wanted it to be.

It was proof to him that she didn’t mean it whenever she never brought up the idea of them hooking up again. Then he felt shitty for thinking about it when she had a ton of trauma involving men and he shouldn’t have even considered taking her seriously. However, every time she smiled, it felt like it was just for him and he fell down the same spiral.

“Sorry, couldn’t find a fan in time,” he said instead of something stupid. She let out a little laugh and shook her head.

“I’ll accept a foot rub instead,” she suggested playfully. But he made his way over to sit in the stool beside her, pulling her foot into his lap without question and carefully letting the heel she had on drop to the floor. She raised an eyebrow at him. “I was joking.”

“I can stop,” he said, digging his thumb into the arch of her foot. Her tongue pressed to her teeth in a smile he couldn’t read. For a moment, he thought this must be what love was.

“I didn’t say that.”

.3.

“Jesus Christ, can I lick you?”

“Ew, what the fuck, Izzy?”

Kyle smiled as he listened to Michael and Isobel bicker back and forth while Alex groaned. He had very graciously offered to teach Isobel self-defense and it was apparently going nicely. Today, though, Kyle and Michael tagged along to work out a bit. Kyle was admittedly covered in sweat and breathing heavy‒and hearing that Isobel liked it made him want to do it more.

“It’s not my fault! You’re into dudes, look at him!” she exclaimed, throwing her arm in Kyle’s direction. Michael just glared at her in disgust. “You know, it’s that kind of attitude that is the reason he won’t take his shirt off.”

“That is absolutely not the reason I won’t take my shirt off,” Kyle chuckled, “There are ladies present.”

“Oh, please,” she scoffed, but she gave him that smile. That special little smile that held so much adoration that made his heart pound. He wanted her to never stop staring at him like that. He craved it, he strived for it.

“Will you all just stop it? I don’t have the patience for this,” Alex sighed. Kyle gave him an apologetic look and tried to look away so he wouldn’t be contributing.

It wasn’t until their session was over that Isobel strolled over to him, casually draping her arms over his shoulders. Kyle turned and saw her face not too far from his. Her thumb dragged over his jaw while the other hand pressed between his pecs.

“Come over. A new episode of Long Island Medium is coming on,” she said. Kyle licked his lips. She watched.

“That lady is a terrible person and you said, like, a million times that she’s fake,” Kyle pointed out. Isobel shrugged and put the thumb that had touched his sweaty face between her teeth. For the months he’d been able to look away when she did something as overwhelming as that. This was not one of those times. He stared at her mouth and her thumb until she smirked.

“Yeah, so? Come over,” she urged. Kyle nodded dumbly, his eyes unable to look away even as she let go and they followed her until she was completely out of sight outside of the gym.

“What’s going on between you two?”

Kyle snapped his mind back to focus as he looked over to Michael. He didn’t seem angry as much as he seemed confused. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was just staring like he didn’t get it.

“Nothing,” he answered with a shrug, “We’re just friends.”

“No, she doesn’t even like when me or Max touch her,” Michael said, “Like, she doesn’t freak out like she does when it’s random dudes, but doesn’t really like being touched since everything with Noah happened. Only guy I’ve seen her be comfortable when it comes to touching is Alex and I think that has a lot to do with him being the one teaching her how to fight. She was just fine touching you though.” Kyle licked his lips.

“I don’t know, man, we just hang out a lot,” Kyle said. Michael nodded, but it was clear he didn’t really buy it.

“Okay. Just… be careful, please.” It was the most sincere Michael Guerin had literally ever sounded. Kyle nodded.

“Absolutely.”

.4.

“I think you’re the only guy left on this planet that I would let touch me like that.”

Kyle turned away from the sex scene that was displayed on the TV in front of them. Isobel just tipped back her wine glass like she hadn’t just said something like that so matter-of-factly.

“Okay,” Kyle said slowly. She scoffed.

“I just told you you’re the only one I’d fuck and you say okay?”

“I just… I guess I don’t really get why. I’m not special. I’m just me,” he said. She shook her head and smiled at him.

“That’s apart of why. Most guys would just be like ‘yeah, that’s right’,” she said and he smiled at her bad imitation of a manly voice. And maybe he smiled for a couple of other reasons. “You’re nice and genuine and you… You always seem to strive to be a better person. I think you’re the only person in the world I’ve ever met that is constantly trying to improve. Every day you wake up wanting to be better than you were the day before and that’s just… That’s really refreshing and assuring.”

“So that makes me your only exception to celibacy?” he asked. She gave him a sneaky little grin and reached out to squeeze his cheeks.

“I said the only guy, Kyle, stop being so closed-minded.”

“I’m not,” he laughed, though neither of them moved. They were so close and he really, really just wanted to take this opportunity.

But he didn’t and she just rested her head on his shoulder. He tugged her close.

“I’m glad you trust me, Isobel,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She snuggled in closer.

They stayed close for a while, watching the movie play even though Kyle couldn't focus on it. He liked to focus on the way she seemed to breathe in time with him. It wasn't until the male lead took his shirt off for some pointless reason.

“One day, I am going to see you shirtless.” She sounded so determined that he couldn’t even jokingly tell her no.

“One day.”

+1

“Is this too fast? Tell me if it’s too fast.”

“Kyle, I have wanted this for months, there is nothing fast about this.”

Kyle couldn’t help the sigh of relief that left his system at her words. The confirmation of just how long those feelings had been mutual felt like learning how to breathe again. They’d been dancing around each other for nearly two years at this point, spending time together and growing and becoming something. It took him too long, but Kyle had finally asked her out on a date. They had barely made it through the meal before they were itching to touch which led to them making out in the car like teenagers because it had been so goddamn long for both of them. Kyle wondered if it felt like longer for Isobel considering the last guy was just using her. That made him feel sick, so he tried not to think of it.

“You’ve only liked me for months or you’ve only wanted to have sex with me for months?” he clarified. She rolled her eyes and leaned across the center console that had officially been the worst creation ever and kissed him long and slow. They were the best kisses he’d ever felt.

“I’ve liked you for two years, I’ve only wanted you in my bed for a few months,” she admitted. It made sense to Kyle. While her sexual jokes and suggestions had started far before then, he understood that they probably weren’t legitimate offers. At least, not at the time. Now they were. “Drive.”

The entire drive back to her place involved her hand on his thigh and her eyes burning holes into his face. Logically, he knew she was keeping it tame because she didn’t want to distract him from the road. Illogically, he was still very much distracted.

When they got there, she all but dragged him from the car. He laughed as she unlocked the door with her mind, still kissing him all the way. Her kisses were something heavenly. He was obsessed with them already.

“Are you sure it’s not too fast?” he wondered as they separated for a small second. She gave him a very pointed look.

“It’s not too fast,” she said, “But if I change my mind, I’ll let you know.”

“Just make sure you let me know like as soon as you have doubts, okay? Promise?” he said. Isobel’s eyes softened and she nodded, moving forward to kiss him again.

Everything lightened up a bit whenever her hands reached beneath his shirt. With a laugh, he pulled away just long enough to remove it. He went to go back for more kisses, but Isobel held him out at arm's length and just took in his bare chest. He found it endlessly fascinating to feel her drag her hands slowly over his chest and stomach and rest at the hem of his jeans.

“God bless,” she said wistfully. He snorted.

“You got what you wanted,” he teased.

“Finally,” she said sarcastically.

“Finally,” he repeated seriously.

Finally.

[astrojammies]

Ship Asks: Clyle Edition

Doing one for Clyle because I love my babies too damn much.

1. Who is the early bird/night owl?

Kyle’s the early bird and Clyde’s the night owl.

Headcanon: Kyle has always followed this system since young where he has to wake up at 5.30am to do the house chores, cook and re-read up (yes, re-read) early for the lessons on the day (because duh, Sheila would definitely discipline her child as such). Since he’s use to waking up in the early wee hours of the morning, Kyle just does the housework and some homework (due 3 weeks later) like he always does because breaking the routine seems really weird. Clyde always expresses his concern whenever he sees Kyle staggering back into the room to get a solid 10 minutes rest before having to wake up again to go to school.

“Babe, you seem tired. Do you want any - ” 

“Shut up Clydeeeee why won’t you let me sleeeeeep.”

Clyde’s obviously the night owl because he has a crazy social life with the “In” crowd and is kinda a life of a party since he’s the school’s number one Wide Receiver and Kyle’s the angry lil’ wallflower that stands at the furthest corner of the party because he hates interacting with people. Kyle will be like

“Why is my boyfriend the football team’s Wide Receiver and my best friend’s the Quarterback like why can’t I have a normal best friend and boyfriend? Uggghhhh I hate my life, I hate noises, I hate crowds and I hate people especially.”

“Are you talking to yourself…?”

“Shut the fuck up, Stan. You’re ruining my monologue.”

2. Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

Big spoon is Clyde and little spoon is Kyle. Clyde loves holding the love of his life close to him because he’s lowkey insecure that one day, Kyle would realise he could do way better and stand up and leave Clyde and will never look back. Clyde has openly expresses this to Kyle one night while crying and Kyle just hugging him and shushing him soothingly.

“Don’t worry, Clyde. I won’t leave you. If I’d thought there was a chance of me leaving you, I wouldn’t have dated you.”

“*sniffs* R-Really? You won’t leave me? Like how my mom did? Like how everyone does in the end?”

“Never. I won’t leave you.”

3. Who hogs the covers/loves to cuddle?

Kyle hogs all the covers and Clyde’s the one who loves to cuddle/initiates anything intimate.

Headcanon: Kyle’s never one for skinship, so the first thing he does when he needs warmth is not cuddling closer to Clyde, but he hogs the entire blanket instead. He gets cold easily (since he has a pretty weak body but doesn’t admit it) and is almost always shivering and complaining about being really cold. Clyde knows about this and uses this as an excuse to cuddle up to Kyle even though Kyle freaks out when people touch him.

“It’s okay, Kyle. It’s just me.” 

“Why are you touching me? Get off!” 

“Don’t you want something warm though? You’re shivering.” 

“…….You’re lucky that you’re a walking furnace.”

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

Clyde because he’s a sweet, pure baby and a dreamy little romantic that just loves to put a smile on his boyfriend’s face at the start of every morning to remind Kyle how much he loves him and how he appreciates everything Kyle had done for him. It’s usually Clyde that gets ready for school first and he lets Kyle sleep a little more since Kyle’s just really worn out after doing all those house chores on his own.

Plus, he gets to see Kyle’s waking up face and gets turn on by how sexy it is so why not?

5. Who usually has nightmares?

Kyle. Always have been, no questions asked. Once you’ve gone through a lot of things that Kyle has gone through, it’ll come back to haunt you for a long time. People seem to forget that although Kyle is an intellect more than an emotional person but when it comes to expressing his opinions, Kyle is more emotionally-driven. He gets affected by a lot of things and hates it when he has no control over some things and thinking its his fault that situations could have gone better. Kyle is an overthinker, and because he is usually emotionally-driven, he lets his emotions take over his mind. He worries about every damn thing and self-deciprocates a lot. He’s never satisfied with himself and always tries to improve himself for the better; he is his own worst critic. Kyle is ruled by his mind and his mind is ruled by his heart and morals; it’s only natural if those thoughts haunt him at night too.

“……Babe, are you alright?” 

“Yeah, just a bad dream. It’s nothing.” “Want to talk about it?” 

“No, it’s fine. Let’s just go back to sleep.” 

“Kyle. I’m your boyfriend, you can tell me anything.” 

“…………..” 

“Please Kyle.” 

“…………..”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do! It’s just - I’m horrible Clyde. I’m never going to be good enough. I’m imperfect. I’m flawed. No matter how hard I try, I’m still a mess. I’m awful, Clyde. I’ve done things, fucked up things. Why do you even like a tragic shit like me? Why would you - ” 

“Shhhhh, babe. It’s alright. You’re perfect. Don’t beat yourself up for things you’ve never done.”

“I’m not perfect - ”

“Yes, you are. ”

“I’m nothing but - ”

“Perfect.”

6. Who would have deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/the day?

Kyle would be in the middle of the day and Clyde would be in the middle of the night. Mostly because Kyle is always reading something whether it’s online or a book and he’s always constantly thinking 25/8 about quantum physics or something along those lines. Clyde usually thinks better at night, when football practices don’t wear him down and where he actually have some time to just lay down and think.

“I’m not even alive, Clyde.”

“But you are…??”

“No dude, I’m just a concept. Like what if I’m only thinking I’m alive?”

“Oh. My God.”

“No, but SeRiOuSlY dude. What if?”

7. Who sweats the small stuff?

Kyle obviously. Haven’t you seen this guy’s mother? You would have been worried over every damn thing too if you had Sheila Broflovski as your mom.

Plus, Kyle’s just really particular about his belongings and gets worked up about every little thing because he’s an overthinker. He’s that one guy who can see the worst possible outcome of every damn situation and just wants to avoid that shit.

“Tighten your shoelace, dude.”

“Kyle, nothing is going to happen to me if I don’t tighten my shoelace now. I’ll do it a little later.”

“Uh, nah uh Mister. Your shoelace could come off and you could trip over your shoelace, roll down the damn staircase, be paralysed for life or be in a coma or even die and you’re going to leave me all alone to mourn over your death and be a bachelor for life because you didn’t tighten your goddamn shoelace.”

“Okay, okay Jesus fine. I’ll tighten my shoelaces.”

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/their pajamas?

Clyde sleeps in his underwear and Kyle sleeps with his full pajamas with socks.

Kyle usually gets really cold so he wears full long-sleeved pajamas and Clyde’s always complaining about the room being too hot so he’s clothes are usually off.

9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)? Kyle makes coffee for both Clyde and him because Clyde literally couldn’t function until he has his cup of coffee early in the morning. Kyle prefers drinking tea though because it’s much more soothing and “It doesn’t kill my braincells.”

10. Who likes sweet/sour?

Clyde really loves sweet things and Kyle loves both. Clyde doesn’t really like sour things and usually gives all the sour candies and gummies for Kyle to eat because Kyle adores them.

Questions 11 to 20 tomorrow!

[breakingarrows]

January - June 2019 in Film

The Favourite

Really enjoyable dark comedy about a trio of lesbian aristocrats, one of which happens to be the queen of England, struggling for political power and control.

Velvet Buzzsaw

Doesn’t do enough to be a fun horror movie but at least Jake Gyllenhaal is fun as a pretentious art critic.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly

Watched this on my phone late one sleepless night. The action in the backhalf is what people came for, but it was the stuff surrounding Broly that I cared more about. When he gets confronted in a lunch room I was actually somewhat affected, thinking, “Leave him alone!”

Psycho

Excellent thriller

Police Story

God I love everything about this film. The comedy is superb and the action is the best of Jackie’s films. Poor, poor May.

Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Me

The soundtrack is the best thing I’ve heard in a long while. The film is what some may expect of Lynch, ethereal and sometimes meandering. Laura Palmer’s death is certain, but the film overcomes her predestined fate and makes you empathize with her.

First Man

Decent bio-pic lite, mostly watched for Ryan Gosling. Surprised at the time dedicated to dealing with grief of both his daughter and the others who died while testing things. Audio during flights make them actually thrilling even though you know he’s not going to die.

Hal

Reminds me I need to watch his actual films. His hatred of the studios is very endearing.

L.A. Confidential

Films like this I could watch forever.

They Shall Not Grow Old

I watched this after a long day so fell asleep midway through in the theater. Hopefully I didn’t snore as it was packed.

Sunset Boulevard

Strange film about relationship between writer and former star. Others liked it more, and have dug into it more, but it didn’t hook me that much.

The Return of the Living Dead

Pretty fun comedy but kinda expected more gags.

Incredibles 2

Disappointing.

Under the Skin

The kind of film that grows on you the more you think about it. Need to rewatch at some point. Love how there is barely any dialogue.

Evolution

Worse than I remember.

Mr. Nice Guy

Awful, didn’t even bother to finish after stream glitched out.

Suburban Commando

Standard action/comedy with wasted potential.

Dune

Perfect source material for Lynch. So ethereal and evocative.

Ghost in the Shell 2.0

Why ruin a perfectly good film with dated CGI?

Miami Connection

Better as a Best of the Worst viewing.

Police Story 2

Not quite as good as the first but still beyond most action movies nowadays.

Us

Prime reddit text post material whose explanation works against it.

The Fabulous Baron Munchausen

Lovely kids fantasy storybook material put to film. The color, the music, the adventure, I love this film.

Chinatown

God I could watch Noirs like this everyday for the rest of my life. What an ending too.

The Seventh Seal

Made me think about my relationship with Christianity that I abandoned years ago.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Still impressed by the way they handled the visual effects of space travel. Also impressed by how well it holds up as a idealistic projection of mankind we still haven’t, and probably will never, reach.

Ed Wood

Johnny Depp is an awful person but man is Ed endearing in this film.

My Name is Julia Ross

Very good thriller. Classic gaslighting.

So Dark the Night

Thriller with a twist that is “meh.”

Won’t You Be My Neighbor

That damn commencement speech fucking gets me.

Guava Island

Enjoyable little short.

F for Fake

I hate masterpiece as a descriptor because its so overused and thrown around by pretty much all forms of critical media in the mainstream/amatuer space but fuck me if this isn’t the closest thing I can think of. Masterful editing, unbelievable that this came out in the midst of the entire subject its covering.

The ‘Burbs

Not Dante’s best, the ending really ruins it. Why have a treatsie about the culture of a neighborhood only to go on and fulfill it?

Fauve

Haunting film that would make me keep the children indoors for a week if I had them.

The Wages of Fear

Excellent thriller about trying to escape from dead ends. There was no need to treat the woman lover so badly though.

The Big Heat

Don’t even remember this one lol.

The Virgin Suicides

Really captures that sort of constant flux of extreme emotions of my middle school years. Fuck that mom also.

Lick the Star

Nice little short.

Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces

Decent addition, though the only one of these that would have improved the film would be the transition from David Bowie to the meeting of the man from another place above the convenience store.

The Hidden Fortress

Hard to watch this without thinking about the things Lucas took for Star Wars, but separate from that an excellent adventure film that I’m glad had a happy ending.

Avengers: Endgame

Total shit the more I think about it. Officially done with the MCU and Disney at large in terms of film output now that I paid my dues by watching this out of obligation than actual interest. What a waste of what little potential there was after the similarly disastrous Infinity War. Why bother making a whole first movie about Thanos if you’re just going to dump that in the follow up? Disney’s biggest outputs of the past decade (MCU and Star Wars) have been such shit and I’m glad I no longer feel the need to waste my time and money on them with this setting me free.

Drive a Crooked Road

Decent noir.

Under the Silver Lake

Enjoyable though something that is hard to qualify as good or not. Would have to rewatch with a notepad to determine whether or not the things it kinda motions towards have any real depth or meaning to them beyond the surface level.

Freaked

Fucking fantastic comedy film. The gags are so good and come so often. Wish they made more like this.

Unicorn Store

This will keep you guessing as to whether the Unicorn shows up or not and I’m not going to spoil it. Brie’s boss staring off into space after being asked if this is what he wanted or not was fucking great though.

Matinee

The true love letter to B movies.

Blue Velvet

One of Lynch’s weaker films though Kyle and Laura Dern are fantastic and the roots of Twin Peaks are obvious.

John Wick: Chapter 2

Made me google the plot summary to John Wick 3 instead of going to see it.

The Legend of Drunken Master

Decent Jackie film. The ending setpiece is really what you watch this for.

In a Lonely Place

Very good noir, loved the ease of which the film transitions the viewers empathy from the male lead to the female.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile

I like Zac Efron but the point of the film is kinda muddled and its hard to believe this was supposed to be from his girlfriend’s point of view when she’s barely in it.

The Elephant Man

I cried.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Disappointing to see them repeating the fault of Infinity War by placing the blame of the deterioration of the world in the hands of “overpopulation.” What kinda fucking rich bourgeois propaganda is this shit?

Godzilla

Copy+Paste everything from the commentary track here. Good shit.

Tampopo

What a wonderful film about the love of food and relationships we have with it. Truly a ramen western.

Shazam

You know this wasn’t that bad, but boy was that ending shot of Superman a pathetic representation of how bad the DCEU has been.

Dreams

These vignettes were very evocative of the emotions summoned by my own dreams. Dreams about grief and longing, nightmares you can barely run from, imaginative scenarios with rules that are entirely fictional but so real in the moment. The ending was a nice monologue against effects of the industrial revolution and modernization and a celebration of life.

Paths of Glory

Fuck war, fuck the rich, fuck those that perpetuate violence for their own gain, fuck it all, I hope they burn for eternity.

[shervonfakhimi]

The All-Star 3v3 Tournament Idea and 2020 All-Star Picks

Commissioner Adam Silver has pushed for the NBA to adopt a European soccer-esque midseason tournament to give NBA teams something to play for other than the Larry O’Brien trophy, but his resolution to shorten the length of the NBA regular has not been met with the same enthusiasm, per ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski. It is encouraging the NBA is thinking of ideas to bolster its regular season, but this idea seems a little farfetched to both its fans and players. Silver has also pitched the idea of a play-in tournament akin to college conference tournaments for NCAA tournament bids, which is an idea I fully endorse (and an idea similar to the one I wrote about before) and think can get pushed through before the midseason tournament. The goal of any midseason tournament should be one that can: 1) captivate the interests of the NBA’s fans and the general public, 2) Allow the NBA to shorten the number of games during the NBA season, 3) Be able to replace the broadcasts lost from the decreased number of games. It is hard to come up with an idea that can solve all three, but I believe I have an idea that could make this work: a 3v3 tournament comprised of every player who receives an invitation to All-Star weekend.

How would this work? All-Star Weekend would continue as normal Friday through Sunday, with the Rookie-Sophomore game (now dubbed the Rising Stars Game) on Friday, the Skills Challenge, Three-Point Shootout and Dunk Contest on Saturday and the All-Star Game on Sunday. Instead of lasting just a weekend though, All-Star weekend will last a full week, with the last game before the event coming on a Thursday and the season resumes on the next Thursday. This would give players not involved two weeks off to get their bodies and minds right and gives those involved in the festivities ample time to bask in the limelight before returning to their teams. 

For those who receive an invite to either of the traditional All-Star weekend events, they would also be invited to play in a 3v3 tournament over the course of the entire week, starting on Monday and ending on Sunday as the undercard to the All-Star game itself. Players can choose not to play if they choose not to, but this event seems unique enough to captivate most players to participate. A draft could take place on the Saturday before the event (we can televise that too. Why not!?) where each team drafts four players of those willing to participate in the event. Let’s say 64 total players are invited to these different events and willing to play. That means 16 players would be captains picking from the rest of the group, forming 16 different teams playing for prize money of $2 million per player. 

So, now just imagine it for a second. What if LeBron James decided to participate, and was able to get someone like, say Bradley Beal to run with him and got, say, Zach LaVine as a dunk contest participant, to go all out against the best of the best? What if former AAU teammates Zion Williamson and Ja Morant were teammates again and wanted to show what they’ve got against the best of the best alongside perhaps Donovan Mitchell? Imagine the potential for stars going at it against each other 1v1 to show the rest of us who is better. Not only that, but it serves as a breeding ground to not only market different stars who don’t get the same exposure as other stars do, but also rising stars *in the same setting.* 

I feel like this could be something that would really captivate a lot of people across the world. Perhaps the idea could use some more fine-tuning (why not consult with Ice Cube, the commissioner of the burgeoning professional 3v3 basketball league called ‘The Big 3’ in his own right. Maybe players not invited could pay their way in to try to win more?), but I truly do believe that if the NBA wants to modify its regular season and install a mid-season tournament, this is the best way to do. Despite the dwindling ratings, many fans still are interested in the NBA. There are too many games, prompting stars to load manage their way into sitting games out. This would allow players to not only get time off, not only find the tournament they are craving for but find a brand new way to entertain their fans in a potentially very fun way. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I sure as hell know that I would watch. Make it happen, NBA.

All-Star Picks: East

Starters:

G: Kemba Walker PG BOS

G: Ben Simmons PG PHI

F: Giannis Antetokounmpo SF MIL

F: Joel Embiid C PHI

F: Pascal Siakam PF TOR

Reserves:

G: Kyle Lowry PG TOR

G: Bradley Beal SG WSH

F: Jimmy Butler SF MIA

F: Bam Adebayo PF/C MIA

F: Domantas Sabonis PF/C IND

WC: Khris Middleton SF MIL

WC: Trae Young PG ATL

Notes: Kemba, Giannis, Embiid, and Siakam are all locks to start, in my opinion. What Ben Simmons has done defensively this season and stepping up while Embiid has been out (the Sixers are 5-3 in those games and Simmons is averaging 20.8 points, 9.3 rebounds, 7.9 assists per game and other-worldly defense in that span) felt like enough to get him a starting spot.

He isn’t sexy, but Kyle Lowry’s numbers are right up there with just about any guard and has helped keep the Raptors afloat and firmly entrenched in the playoff hunt despite some Kawhi Leonard dude bolting town. I think he’s neck-and-neck of being a starter with Simmons because of how Simmons’ lack of a jump shot limits the overall firepower when Embiid is out there with Simmons, but the leap he’s made defensively and the spree he went on with Embiid I think justifies Simmons’ starting spot. Lowry is in, though. Putting Beal and Young in over Spencer Dinwiddie, Malcolm Brogdon, or Jaylen Brown feels a little icky because of where Washington and Atlanta are in the standings, but it also isn’t Beal and Young’s fault they’re surrounded by a much lesser core. Atlanta’s offense falls off the face of the earth without Young, has had John Collins suspended for 25 games, had Kevin Huerter miss time and is surrounded by rookies who have looked like deer in headlights. Bradley Beal is without his All-Star running mate John Wall and Washington has had so many injuries I can’t keep up, yet he’s still averaging roughly 27-6-5. I tend to prefer taking guys from winning teams, but without great options, I’ll lean towards the better players putting up the bigger numbers.

The rest of the frontcourt was easier to handle. If Jimmy Butler was listed as a guard he’d get the starting nod ahead of Simmons, but regardless, being on the team should suffice. His teammate Bam Adebayo has put on his best Draymond Green impersonation for the Heat and producing a bit of everything; he absolutely deserves the nod for his first All-Star game. One Pacer should get in for the quietest 28-16 start in NBA history, so I’ll give Sabonis the nod for averaging over 18 & 12 a night & elevating Indiana’s offense in the process. Jayson Tatum, Khris Middleton, Dinwiddie, Brogdon, Jaylen Brown, Tobias Harris, Nikola Vucevic, Zach LaVine, Evan Fournier, and Devonte Graham all deserve consideration for the last spot, but I think the last spot should go to Khris Middleton. The Bucks have been leaps and bounds the best team in the NBA by just about any metric you look at. Middleton is putting up a Klay Thompson-esque shooting season from the floor, with a 50/42.1/88.9 shooting split on the season, averaging 24.7 points per 36 minutes (he only plays about 28 a game since the Bucks have been blowing everybody out this season), and has anchored lineups without Giannis on the floor that are *still* outscoring opponents to give the Greek Freak more rest than an MVP typically gets (Giannis only plays 30.6 minutes per game). Again, Middleton is not another sexy name, but he’s been great and I think deserving to be on his 2nd All-Star team. 

All-Star Picks: West

Starters:

G: Luka Doncic PG/SF DAL

G: James Harden SG HOU

F: LeBron James SF LAL

F: Anthony Davis PF/C LAL

F: Kawhi Leonard SF LAC

Reserves: 

G: Damian Lillard PG POR

G: Donovan Mitchell SG UTAH

F: Nikola Jokic C DEN

F: Rudy Gobert C UTAH

F: Brandon Ingram SF NOLA

WC: Chris Paul PG OKC

WC: Devin Booker SG PHX

Notes: Yeah, it doesn’t take rocket science to name the starters. I wouldn’t mind if someone wanted to put Jokic in over Kawhi as a starter, but I’ll roll with the fun guy.

Lillard, Jokic, Gobert & Donovan Mitchell feel like locks to me. For the love of God get Rudy Gobert in the All-Star game damn it! Mitchell has seemingly leveled up. Somehow, Damian Lillard has kept alive a Blazers team that was one injury from signing *me* to a 10 day (I wish I was kidding). The last few spots are a little more up in the air. Paul George *should* be in but hasn’t played a lot of games, thus ceding his spot. Chris Paul leading Oklahoma City to the 7th seed is worthy of his presence at another All-Star game. You could put any of Karl-Anthony Towns, LaMarcus Aldridge, Ja Morant, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Russell Westbrook, Paul George, and DeMar DeRozan in, but the leaps Brandon Ingram and Devin Booker have made despite injuries/suspensions to their supporting casts, keeping their respective teams afloat and putting up monster numbers in the process deserves recognition. I think they should both get in this season.