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dreemurr-skelememer · 2 months ago

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Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find.

im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial!

(this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals.

it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically:

contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark.

BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights

mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer!

the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only),

i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps.

there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects

you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way.

you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes.

don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on

that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared.

like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different.

on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art.

rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless.

find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment.

particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them)

but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker.

it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it

i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

#long post #art tutorial #rendering tutorial #art help #art tips #tutorial #kia doodles shit #artxstic-scr1bbles #tutoriel

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spacedace · 1 year ago

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Reluctant War AU Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

More of the brain worm that has taken me over, gonna probably post it to Ao3 here before too long. Already got another part started and so many ideas for additional stuff, someone please send help I've been consumed by this thing lol

Sorry if Waller seems out of character, outside of fandom I'm mostly familiar with her through Justice League the animated show & Justice League: Unlimited and her vibe there has always struck me as "deeply incredibly unlikable character that also kind of has a point but also has done so much fucked up shit in the name of her goals that you don't really care about her point anymore." So you know, complicated lol. If she's completely unrecognizable let me know, but I'm hoping she feels at least somewhat like Waller.

Forgot to say this in the last update, but still feel free to use all this as an overly long prompt if yall want. Literally anything I throw out to the void should be treated as a prompt lol If there's anything at all interesting to you in any of this nonsense go for it <3 <3 <3

---

Amanda Waller was someone who did what needed to be done.

Ruthless, heartless, vicious, cruel.

She’d been called it all. Wore the words thrown as insults as a badges of pride and valor. Because at the end of the day, when it came to the problems she was given to face, the issues she was meant to solve, those words meant she’d done what others had been too squeamish or cowardly to do. Life was a never ending slog of trolley problems and she the only one unshakable enough to pull the levers that needed pulling.

It wasn’t so simple as a matter of greater good.

Greater good was what the weak willed muttered to themselves after having feelings over doing the bare minimum. A justification used by people on all sides to do what they wanted with fractured, faulty logic thrown around like truth was a thing immutable. To assuage their guilt when they were forced to make a call they didn’t want to.

It wasn’t a matter of greater good. It was a matter of preservation. Of protection. Of digging through the filth to find the threats skittering beneath and crush them with ruthless abandon. Of facing a god and not blinking because if you did it could cost the world.

Of doing what needed to be done, no matter how underhanded or atrocious it was.

Hands dirty.

Hands red.

Hands wrapped tight around the throat of something that could threaten to destroy it all.

When the Ghost Investigation Ward had been shoved her way with it’s sucking wound of a budget, it’s bloated incompetent staff, its asinine methods she’d seen a rotted limb in need of hacking off. It hadn’t been until she’d been conducting her inspection, digging through the trash for a few pearls of effective agents she could snatch up and put to work elsewhere, that she’d truly seen what they were working on. The potential.

Potential to better arm themselves with in the forms of the strange new weapons being created.

Potential for threats far greater than anything even she had thought possible before.

The GIW as it had been when she’d first come across it was a fetid waste of time and resources. A laughing stock agency only secret because no one took them seriously enough to look. Made stupid and useless with its own conceited delusions of importance it didn’t actually have. Yet.

She went to work on it. Hacking away as she’d originally intended, but this time with a different goal in mind. She ripped out the weeds with bare, calloused hands and planted proficiency and loyalty in their place. She took over as director herself, tossing the self-aggrandizing fool that had been running the place into the ground to the dogs as the culprit for misappropriate spendings, saving the agency by tweaking things until their ballooning budget was pinned neatly onto the former director as an embezzling charge.

Then she got to work.

The Fentons were brilliant, if entirely insane. But Amanda could work with that. She’d reigned Harley Quinn in - more or less - she could do the same to the two deranged scientists that so eagerly wanted to be apart of the fight against the dead. Especially when the benefit came in the form of the inventions they threw together so easily, especially when those inventions were weapons.

It took very little to get them on board with her plans for the GIW. Keeping their focus could be a chore, at times, but she didn’t even have to really do much in the way of pressing to get them back where she wanted them. They craved knowledge and understanding nearly as much as they craved the eradication of the entities themselves. Letting them have the first look at a new subject here, free reign over a vivisection there, it took so little to fuel their fervor and keep them busy working on the projects she set for them.

Things had been going smoothly.

For a time at least.

Until Phantom.

He’d been the main focus of the previous director’s attention, the big fish he’d so desperately wanted to catch and put up on his wall. Amanda wouldn’t lie and say it wasn’t a tempting prospect, but not one she’d put above the other projects she had set in motion since taking over. No, Phantom was powerful, enough to be a real problem one day, but she could the awkward youth in the way he held himself, the inexperience in how he handled situations. She had time to get everything else in order before focusing on getting Amity Park’s would-be hero brought to heel.

And he would be brought to heel. One way or another.

Hands dirty.

Hands red.

Hands wrapped tight around the Core of a fledgling god and bending him to her will.

An artifact, old an powerful, recovered with some effort. A means of controlling specters, of chaining them to the will of the artifact’s wielder. Dangerous in the wrong hands. Dangerous in the right hands.

It was shattered, and even whole and functional Phantom was resistant to its power. But Amanda Waller prided herself in her ability to see the potential in things. It could be repaired, be made better. Even gods could be bound, be made to kneel, with the right pieces, with the right application of force.

It was just a matter of time to gather everything needed.

Phantom didn’t know he could single handedly destroy every last member of the Justice League. The baby fat, the innocent eyes, the split-second hesitations when he fought. He knew enough to be confident in fighting the usual ghosts that haunted Amity Park, but he still very much saw himself as a little fish. Maybe it was the part of him that was still Daniel Fenton, gangly teenager not quite sure what he was truly capable of yet.

She had time before the Fenton’s son truly became an issue. Time to judge if his parents’ obsessiveness would overcome their - rather shoddy, by Amanda’s estimation - parental instincts and continue to hunt him once they knew the truth. Time to get as much out of them as she could before hand, should they falter at the idea of attacking their own son. Time for the staff to be repaired and returned to working order, to get the other items needed for the truly big fish hidden on the other side of the veil between worlds.

She had time.

Until she didn’t.

Pariah Dark had not been something she thought she’d have to account for - not yet, at least.

If he wasn’t already dead, she’d ring the Ghost King’s neck with her bare hands. His arrival had opened Phantom’s eyes to what he was capable of, of just how big of a fish he was. Worse still, Phantom’s defeat of the war mongering King changed the state of play. Phantom was no longer an impressively powerful half dead teenager.

He was King Infinite.

He was an Ancient.

He was getting on her last damn nerves.

Phantom’s rogue gallery were now firmly under the boy’s control. Still distinct nuisances around Amity Park, but no longer considered true concerns. They were loyal to their boy king, delighting in ruffling his feathers but never crossing the line into treason or attempted regicide. Which meant that the GIW was the only thing that held his attention.

Amanda took the time to send a care package to the former GIW director in his tiny, dank prison cell. As thanks for his carelessness in revealing to the entire town - both living and dead - of the agency’s existence and their intentions. Had he stuck to standard protocol, Phantom would have been none the wiser to their presence. Would have scratched his head and shrugged his shoulders at the ghost that went missing upon occasion. Would have been boredly uninterested in the people his parents had begun working with. Would have been taken by surprise when they finally came for him.

But no.

No that self-obsessed, fame chasing imbecile had to go and announce to everyone and their dead mother that the GIW existed and exactly what it was they were in Amity Park to do.

Phantom knew what they were there to do.

They could only count on his naive certainty that he could broker peace with them for so long.

Peace. As if he and his people weren’t the invading force, the monsters slipping in through the cracks between worlds, the latest threat that had to be accounted for. As if he himself hadn’t rent their world asunder himself in another world, another time. No. Peace was not something they could hash out with this baby-faced monarch with his too-big crown. Peace was the assurance of safety, security. Of control of the situation.

There could be no peace.

The higher ups were somehow surprised when Phantom took that to mean there would be war.

Amanda Waller was not.

The Fentons, as suspected, took the right side when all was revealed. Steady hands and flinty eyes as they crafted the weapons that would be needed for the coming fight. Minds even sharper in their maddened grief, hearts set on revenge for the son lost and the entity that stole his face and friends and sister in his garish pretense at humanity. They were blinded to the reality of the situation in its entirety, the potential in what their son truly was, but at the end of the day it didn’t really matter. They did what she needed them to do, they could believe whatever it was they wanted so long as they did.

By the time the boy king and his armies marched upon the Amity park facility, preparations had been put into place. The base in Amity had been stripped back to bare essentials, everything of importance moved to more secured locations.

The weapons labs.

The artifact.

The girl.

All tucked well away from the front lines where Phantom and his motley crew could not reach. Their time to be put in play would come, but not yet. First she needed to gauge what Phantom and his people were capable of, what they were willing to do in the name of what they wanted. Amity Park was a pawn well sacrificed on that front. As were the other facilities she’d left easy to find.

The problem with making children gods, with giving them crowns and calling them King and giving them armies to play with, was that they thought there should be rules. That even in the trenches tearing apart their enemies, there was a certain level of playing fair that everyone was held to. They thought there was a way the world worked, of how things should be that blinded them to more effective options even as time stretched on and desperation set in.

It was the Dead’s problem though, not hers.

She reached out to the Justice League. Sour faced, unhappy, bitterly reluctant to accept that she needed their help. Stone faced and barely containing their rage at what little they knew of the situation, they agreed to a meeting.

She didn’t let herself smile until she was well and truly alone in her office.

Greater good. A lie people told themselves. A fairytale told to children. A means of convincing the weaker willed that they had no choice, that they had a noble duty to bend to. A belief that could be wielded like a weapon if the fantasy of the idea had dug in deep enough. And there were few it had dug into so deep as the members of the Justice League.

Amanda Waller was someone who did what needed to be done.

Hands dirty.

Hands red.

Hands clenched tight on a victory long in the making.

---

Part Four

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #danny fenton #amanda waller #GIW #ghost investigation ward #Jack Fenton #Maddie Fenton #bad parents jack & maddie fenton #cause none of this is angsty enough yet lol #tw references to vivisection #tw references to death #waller out here playing 3d chess #of course she wasn't surprised by the inevitable war she was just hoping she'd have her secret weapon ready before it actually kicked off #oh well she still has plans B - J to get through #and all the variations for each #gonna take care of her ghost problem and her justice league problem in one fell swoop if she gets her way #just throw some GIW agents into the meat grinder for a bit while she gets stuff in order & so she can see just what Danny is willing to do #anyway wonder what Elle is up to during all this #i'm sure she's fine and there's nothing to worry about #waller playing the long con yall

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pampanope · 3 months ago

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Story time!

The origin of Red11~ posted here because it’s too long for the discord server💀

Emile ([REDACTED]) belongs to @kings-out-of-pocket-hell

Efren|7-11 (here in spirit lol) is mine~

Guest starring Russell Adler✨

——————-

Emile watched his scarred mentor lay flat three manila folders, each of varying thickness. The room was of the sterile variety that Langley as whole was fond of with nothing but the blandest tables and folding chairs.

He leaned forward, eyes filled with unbridled delight. The bland setting did nothing to dampen the excitement bubbling in his chest.

Finally, after years of lectures, rigorous physical conditioning, the marksmanship training, lessons on field craft, torture resistance, and the skepticism from his peers, this is it. No more tagging along on an op, no more hanging back when shit got interesting. His first operation as lead.

As if sensing the glee coursing through him, Adler raised a brow from across the table. The older man tapped at the middle folder to direct Emile’s attention, which, in Emile’s opinion, was completely unnecessary. He‘d never been this locked in.

“I’ve got a job for you,” Adler began. “Something I trust you can handle. We have the location of a suspected terrorist cell, embedded deep inside a mountain, too deep for satellites to confirm. You’re gonna have to go in and get visual and signal confirmation, as well as the layout of the compound.” The man paused, placing a thick folder on the table. It was heftier than the other three. “Here’s the full brief. Memorize it.”

Emile gave the thick brief the barest glance before immediately snapping his eyes back to the first three folders. Yeah, no. That’s not what he’s here for.

Actually, technically, it was what he woke up at the ass crack of dawn for. But it’s not what he wants. Not really.

Adler chuckled beneath his breath. “Fine, I see how it is.”

“‘Course you do. You’ve got me on pins and needles here, old man,” Emile grinned, “don’t keep me in suspense. Gimme.” The blonde crept a hand towards the rightmost folder. It was lightly smacked away by the other man.

Adler pinched the bridge of his in exasperation. “Kid, you’re being assigned an asset. It’s no big deal. This is a standard component of field operations.”

Nope. Adler wasn’t gonna dress this down as something mundane. “Yes, it is...But! Only fully trained intelligence officers get to be Handlers. Which means I am now a fully fledged intel officer. Today I’m getting my government sanctioned Scary Dog privilege. I’m over the fucking moon, sir.”

Adler, for his part, sighed and leaned back in his seat, as if drained by the exchange. He took a long sip of what must be lukewarm coffee, before making a ‘have at it motion’ with his free hand.

Emile snatched the rightmost file his hand had crept towards earlier. Azure eyes scanned every detail, eating up the feast of personal intel before him, all of it laid bare to pick at and examine within the palace of his mind. He sank into the deep concentration he’d adopted for analysis.

Huh. No photos. Not even a name, Emile mused. Must be to eliminate all bias. Relax, Adler. Pretty privilege won’t be a factor here.

The master, meanwhile, silently watched his protege work. He observed the younger man shuffle through page after page, folder to folder, noted which of the dossiers he spent the longest time examining.

Adler had his own guess as to who the younger would pick.

“Well? Your thoughts?” Adler asked after what he felt should’ve been enough time had passed.

Emile blinked, seemingly resurfacing from the depths. He stretched languidly before placing all sheets of paper in their proper folders.

“This is exactly what I imagined choosing my first starter Pokemon would feel like.”

“…I’m gonna pretend I understand what you said for the sake of moving on.”

Emile chuckled. “Heh. Sorry. Couldn’t help it.” He carded a hand through his hair briefly.

“Okay, to start with,” he pushed the file to the left the slightest bit but forward, “this one’s skilled, as expected. Service record’s impeccable and squeaky clean. He’s shiny. Perfect. Boring.” The blonde waves a dismissive hand.

“Boring?” Adler tilted his head, a clear order to elaborate.

Emile tapped at the table in thought. “Boring, as in the guy’s record may be stellar, but his résumé’s full of the basic ‘breach a target building and spray everything with bullets’ kind of work, which I’m sure he’s very good at, but I need more nuance, more variety. I also get the impression subtlety is lost on him and he won’t be finding it anytime soon.”

“Hm. Next?” Adler asked.

Odd. The man would normally needle him for more.

“Right…” Emile eyed the other with suspicion. He pushed the middle file forward. “This one? I hate to say this, it’s such a ridiculous nitpick, but he’s a bit of a yes man. I don’t need or want one. If I happen to fuck up, i need someone to set me straight. Get in my face about it. Everything else about him is great. Really. But…not what I want.”

He was being picky, sure, but he wasn’t gonna leave anything to chance. He needed someone with a spine, someone who won’t let themselves get steamrolled by him.

Again, Adler gave a noncommittal answer, this time a grunt of acknowledgment, and motioned for him to get to the final dossier.

Just like previously, that seemed too easy. Emile began to suspect something was afoot. If it was anyone else sitting before him, alarm bells would’ve been ringing in his head by now; and yes that’s a wild statement considering the reputation of the man before him.

Emile glanced at the final dossier, his right hand splayed wide over it like a possessive spider over captured prey. He’d saved the interesting one for last.

“This one,” Emile pushed the last dossier towards the center after sweeping the rejects aside, “Clearly, like the last two, his record’s fantastic; several successful missions, solo and team, as well as variety in his skillset and experiences. His evals paint him to be a free thinker when necessary yet easily falls into line and can take orders. When you put all this together, this guy pulls ahead of the others by a small margin… ”

“But..?” Adler prompted, shifting forward in his seat.

Although Emile couldn’t see the man’s eyes, shielded behind Oakleys as they were, he felt the heat of them. Years of exposure had never made them any less unsettling.

“I noticed some strikes against him on an otherwise impressive record.” Emiles pulled the relevant page out of the folder. “Guy’s got a record of violent outbursts and—-well, reports of him ripping out two men’s throats. Two. I have questions.”

”Of course you do.” Adler, the bastard, didn’t bother to hide the smugness coloring his voice. “The torn throats happened during a raid two years into his time as a vanilla Marine, very close quarters. He’d been jumped and lost his firearm in the scuffle, but managed to dispatch both—“

“Wait, I’m sorry, ‘both’? As in, within the same instance? He chomped two throats, in a row? Consecutively?!” What the fuck. Why am I fixated on this?

“You’re fixated on this.”

Shit.

“No. Nope. It’s just…impressive is all. Please, continue,” said Emile. He fought off the sudden urge to press a hand against his throat.

The scarred man obviously didn’t fall for his bullshit with how the corner of his mouth was lifted. “The violent outbursts, on the other hand, were actually two separate instances. Well…more like cases than instances,” Adler said.

“Yeah?” Emile asked,leaned closer.

“The first case happened during his early days of basic. A couple of recruits from his cohort thought it would be cute to mess with the moody guy. Repeatedly. Moody guy had enough and sent them to the infirmary.”

Emile let out a low whistle at that. A spine. This was promising. “Nice. And the powers that be at the time didn’t boot him from the Marines?” Honestly, beating the crap out of your bullies screamed devil dog behavior, really on brand of them.

“No need.” Oh. That was a full blown smirk on Adler’s face. Holy shit. “Kid got squared away and humbled by a passing spec ops operator at the behest of a drill instructor. He’s been well behaved and obedient ever since. Mostly.”

Wow. Note to future self: conduct an extensive, invasive background check of this guy’s past. Because he needs more, dammit. And he’s the goddamn CIA now, no need to jump through hoops to unlock someone’s backstory.

“That’s one. What about the second case?” Emile found himself mentally cataloging the gear they’d be needing. Heh. I guess I’ve made my mind up.

Adler downed the last of his, now frigid, coffee before continuing. “The second happened a year into his time as a Force Recon operator. Heard a rumor about a Captain abusing his rank to coerce members of the lower ranks into acts of…that nature.”

The younger scowled. Jesus.

Adler nodded. “Yes, Exactly. Our guy caught this captain in the act with one of his fellow squad mates. From the official reports I’ve read, that officer was absolutely mauled.”

Emile took in a ragged breath. Just what exactly are you gifting me, Adler? Because… “Okay but this time, he had to have been punished severely.”

“Three month’s suspension,” the other man chuckled, “a slap on the wrist. They couldn’t punish our guy in a meaningful way for this, the optics would be terrible. Not to mention the uproar it would cause among the enlisted. But they had to do something.” Adler shrugged. “So, slap on the wrist it was.”

Emile let out a bark of laughter, giddy and light with elation. He took a deep breath, leaned back in his seat, mind warm and fuzzy, and closed his eyes for a moment before speaking.

“I want him. Gimme the spicy one.”

I want him. I want the one who’s gonna literally fight tooth and nail to survive when the odds are stacked against him. I want the one who’s gonna take matters into his violent, vicious hands when a comrade can’t protect themselves. I want all of that for myself. I’ll be the one to hold his leash. I’m gonna point all that teeth and violence at the enemy. He’s dangerous. But screw safe. Safe doesn’t get shit done. It’s why I’m here.

Emile thought of Oscar. He thought of how he’d gladly suffer countless sentences for him if it meant keeping him safe.

“Heh.”

The younger man blinked. ”Eh?” Whoops. He’d been fantasizing about the new murder puppy. In front of Adler. Fuck.

Adler snorted. “Good to know you approve of this one. I won’t have to tell the Marines to cancel all the arrangements made.”

Emile stared down the smug face across the table.

“…You’re a bastard, you know that?” he asked in disbelief. “Why even ask me to go through the others? Did I even have a choice?”

Adler stood, gathering the two rejected folders. “Yes. If you chose any of the other two, I’d have taken care of it. But I know you. You were never gonna take them. I knew you wanted someone who matched you psychologically. But you had to make that decision for yourself.”

Great, Emile thought. His mentor knew him enough to find the right candidate to match his freak. The man should consider matchmaking as a side hustle if the CIA no longer worked out.

“Here,” Adler said, sliding a small photo towards Emile. “A peace offering for bamboozling you. It was fun.”

“Tch. I was not bamboozled.“ Emile muttered. He snatched the offered photo eagerly.

Oh.

Oooh.

Maybe Adler made the right call withholding photos. Impartiality would’ve been thrown out the window.

Pretty, was Emile’s immediate impression. The eyes in the photo were fierce, the hair a non-regulation mess, and a beauty mark sat at the corner of the left eye. Emile then noticed the name scribbled in Adler’s neat handwriting.

Efren Torres Aldrich.

Efren. EfrenEfrenEfren. Heh. Effy. Emile ran a reverent thumb over dark eyes, wondering what they would see once they’ve peered into his own dark blue. He gently tucked the photo into his shirt pocket, a hot brand nestled against his heart.

Adler slid the neglected brief closer to Emile. “Like I said, memorize it. You’ll meet him tomorrow at Langley Air Force base, 0500.” He gathered his empty mug, files tucked under arm, before reaching over to ruffle Emile’s hair. “Don’t scare the poor guy away, kid. I actually put effort into pairing you with someone who’d watch your back.”

Emile let warmth wash over him as he leaned into the affectionate touch. “I make no promises,” he teased. Hm. Would Efren like having a hand in his hair, too?

He felt Adler make his way towards the door as he settled in, ready for hours of reading, careful planning, deciding which insertion points would be the least detectable, which exfil routes were the least hazardous in all that mountain terrain, maybe study a topographical map of the area, and if he needed to make contact with a trustworthy local source to have—

“Emile.”

Deep blue eyes blinked into awareness, mind resurfacing.

“Yeah?”

From the open doorway, Adler gazed at Emile. The man appeared to consider something.

“Good luck out there. Remember…” Adler paused, voice heavy with faint emotion the younger man can’t quite identify, “as handler you’re responsible for the well being and, to an extent, actions of your asset in the field. Call the shots and he’ll follow. Got it?”

Somber and pensive Adler was a rare creature, one Emile wasn’t well versed in dealing with even after years of knowing the man.

“Understood,” Emile said, nodding, matching the other man’s tone.

The mood possessing Adler was gone in an instant. He gave a brusque nod before shutting the door.

I’m gonna steal his jacket when I get back, Emile thought fondly with a chuckle as he went back to reading. And gotta have all my prep finished early enough so that dear Efren won’t have to put up with my sleep deprived whining.

Emile spent the rest of the day quietly poring over mission intel, hand occasionally reaching to cup his throat.

#i did a write!#CIA baby’s first asset #this is for u kings! i loved the sweet vampire7-11 fic!#i kno nothing about how the cia works but i prefer my way better lmaoo #[redacted] ocs #shadow 7 11 (cod oc)#shadow company #call of duty #russell adler #red11

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revelations-persona · 2 months ago

Text

fucked up my hand in the middle of sewing so i won't be able to make progress in a while :') but while i'm here i might as well show what i got done so far. made everything but the tie :3

long ramblings about the process so far below

started working on all this for a bit over month. been alternating between maya and jun's outfits but ultimately switched focus to maya because her stuff was more complex.

this post is mostly about maya but here's the only interesting part of jun's stuff rn

i don't like the stitching on the roman numeral either but who will look. my eyes are Up Here. might paint over the thread so it doesn't stick out as much but who knows. also kind of off topic, it threw me off so bad that jun is a third year but in official art he's always shown with the two on his collar?? had to do some digging to make sure i wasn't crazy for thinking he was a senior.

the rest of his jacket is currently like a very basic looking cardigan with raw edges everywhere, nothing worth showing off rn. i think i'll continue working on it now that i can only work one-handed for the time being since the machine does most of the heavy lifting. as for the pants, i thrifted a pair several months ago. it's actually the reason i wanted to cosplay him lol, the pants were just the perfect color.

side note, my machine is Mischievous and simply refuses to sew down several layers at a time, or even just my beige fabric for some reason. so everything beige is sewn entirely by hand. maybe that's why i got carpal tunnel lol

here's what the sleeves look like on both sides and also on the inside

tbh i never realized it until i looked at her design more closely but she has like these little squares on half of her sleeves, so i tried to recreate that. it's basically just two rectangles sewn together but one of the rectangles is made up of other, smaller rectangles. nothing crazy. however, sewing the trim and elastic to it suckedddd. generally to sew elastic or stretchy fabric, you have to use a zigzag stitch (which looks exactly as you'd imagine). the easiest way to do that is by machine, except i couldn't because of the problems i just described and also the opening is too small for me to properly put it under the machine anyway. i never want to do a zigzag stitch by hand ever again. especially not with having to push through like six layers of fabric like no ty </3

now the corset

side by side of how a half of it looks on the outside vs the inside. both cups on the inside are labeled left and right respectively, in case i forget which boob goes where. currently the trim is just pinned on until i recover and can properly sew it down. i'll also have to figure out how to get the two zippers and the little rectangle that goes at the bottom on it too. the zippers for sure i'll have to cut down bc they're too long (they were the smallest ones the store had :/)

i found a pattern for it and it was easy enough to follow, just took longer than i wanted it to because i had to do it by hand. i also modified the pattern a bit to have it zip up at the front bc by default it closes at the back. had to adjust it twice so it would stop slipping off from being loose (size chart was weird). that little triangle was the result of me trying to ease the transition from the cups to the back of the corset after making the adjustments. it's not very noticeable when i have it on bc that's where my arms rest lol.

you might also be looking at the weird looking foam like why's it look like that. and you're right!

this is leftover from when foam was installed in the ceiling by the landlord to reduce noise from upstairs neighbors! like ten years ago! and she just left it here!! there's a lot more of it not pictured, that's just the amount i used. so kind. had to cut the triangles off and trim some of the thickness off, but thanks to her, i'm gonna have the quietest boobs at the con :)

and the hearts

they're right here :3 i still haven't attached them yet.

the trim is just black fabric cut into 5cm by 1.5m strips attached to other strips to make a super long strip i fold into 2cm pleats and cut as i go to fit the things i need to put it on. the stitching looks messy bc i have to in several times on the machine and only sometimes does my machine want to sew down more than two layers. i bought a yard of the black but i might unfortunately need more? i will cross that bridge when i get there.

the brown zip up undershirt thing i just modified an existing pattern i found online so that the sleeves were longer, it zips instead of buttoning up, and making it cropped. the collar is just that comically large so i suggest adjusting that if you also plan on using this pattern and don't like the collar size.

the skirt is a simple a-line skirt made a few inches wider so after sewing it and it's properly shaped like a skirt, i can go over and fold two sides together for that pleat in the middle of the skirt. i went in by hand to sew the inside of the folds to the fabric behind them so that the pleat stays in place. then i cut a strip of elastic to a few inches less than my waist measurement, sewed the ends down to form a circle, folded the top of the skirt over it twice, and then sewed it down and boom waistband. looks kinda weird all bunched up when it's not being worn, but i didn't really care about making it too pretty. you only really see the bottom part of it lol

i also made legwarmers to wear with the outfit because i refuse to spend money on shoes i will never wear outside of cosplay. they're literally just tubes made of a singular rectangle each with elastic on one of the ends, easiest thing ever. i think those boots fit well enough with the overall vibe so i'll wear them with the outfit.

the beige skirt thing she has i cut out already but really didn't do anything with yet so i have nothing to show for it rn lol

oh also. the brown, black, pink, and teal fabrics are broadcloth, the beige is peachskin, and the white fabric and little things on the front of jun's collar are gabardine (leftover from lisa and elly's uniforms).

if anyone has any questions i'd be down to answer them :3

#i could go on forever about this shit lmao #cosplay #me when rambling #persona 2

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jacksgreysays · 11 months ago

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"soldier, poet, king" + POV of team 7 from someone in the far future, maybe through the lens of a distant descendant build off surviving myths and historical texts

Dear anon, I hope you don’t mind, but I took a gentle step sideways and backwards with this prompt. In my search for all of the royalty!AU posts, I refreshed my memory about Foundation of Yesterday in which DoS/the Elemental Nations is the extremely distant past of FFVII. Coupled with the SOLDIERs of FFVII and my assigning of which member of Team Seven corresponds to which character of FFVII, I think it all combines well with your prompt. Additionally, I couldn’t tell which members of Team Seven I would assign soldier, poet, and king. But it was easy for me to assign solider, poet, and king to their FFVII descendants and then reverse engineer from there. So we get Cloud, obvious Soldier, descendant of blue-eyed blonde, storm and strife. Yuffie as King, inheriting a pendant that summons a sleeping goddess in times of need. And Vincent is less obvious as Poet, but you can probably get into a sort of meditative philosophizing of working for tyrants and falling in love with a scientist only for her to betray you and then going into hibernation and maybe meeting your distant ancestor who is Chaos? Unfortunately, I don’t actually know that much about FFVII—as I’ve never played it, nor the remake—except for what I’ve gleaned from fanfiction and cultural osmosis, lol. And then this does get into the problem, similar to the Fear to Tread (a world unseen) post in that the primary setting/POV of the fic WOULD be the world/characters that I am less accustomed to writing and then making up the history of the world between the events of DoS and FFVII. So I’m going to continue with my gentle sideways and backwards steps and give you this, instead:

(king)

When Yuffie finally activates the strange summon materia she inherited from her father, everything goes dark. At first she panics—maybe something went wrong? did she not have enough mana? was she cursed with blindness?—but then little pin pricks of light appear, like distant stars coming ever closer.

She doesn’t see what the summon does exactly, the battle ends so quickly after that, but that doesn’t matter too much considering the summon just… doesn’t leave.

The Shikabane-hime—once the tendrils of star-filled shadows have done their damage and tucked themselves away out of existence—looks human. Like one of Yuffie’s people, a girl far from home, displaced from Wutai, just like her.

But as the other members of the party shift and stare, uncertain as to what it happening, she remembers who exactly she’s looking at. What she is looking at, that is: a summon, inherited from her father, who only showed up now after her homeland has been ruined by ShinRa.

Later, when they have made camp for the night, when the Shikabane-hime has still not disappeared, even though Yuffie’s original mana offering should have long run out, she confronts the summon.

“Where were you?” Yuffie asks in Wutaian so the others can’t understand her. She tries to make it accusatory, tries to sound authoritative, like a proper Princess of Wutai, but she’s afraid it comes out more hurt, plaintive, like a child who realizes that legends are nothing more than stories, than lies. Like the legend that the Shikabane-hime would come in Wutai’s time of need.

The Shikabane-hime tilts its head, gaze sharp but not unkind. Yuffie thinks for a moment, perhaps it can’t understand her, what language do summons speak? Please not Midgarish.

But then the Shikabane-hime answers, “Your father never called for me.” Its gaze, somehow, becoming sharper but also more kind. Concerned, maybe. “Perhaps he did not believe. Perhaps it was not enough of a threat.”

“Not enough of a threat?” Yuffie shouts.

The rest of the party turn their way, hands on their weapons, except for Vincent whose attention had been on the Shikabane-hime the whole time. He waves them off and the others, with reluctance, stand down.

“What do you mean not enough of a threat? ShinRa invaded our homeland. It is a shell of itself! My father—” she cuts herself off before she can say anything else. Before she can realize what else in her childhood is a story, a lie.

“In the future, you will reclaim it, rebuild it,” the Shikabane-hime says, too casual for a command, too simple for a prophecy. “But first, we must ensure there is a future.”

—

(poet)

When Shikako meets the almost familiar red eyes of Vincent Valentine, she does not say the following:

Is he doing okay in there? How did he manage to survive so long? If you could let him know I’m sorry, I miss him. Tell him thank you from me for holding on so long. Too long. Tell him he can let go, that he doesn’t have to stay if it hurts. If he needs to move on, it’s okay. I’ll meet him there when I’m done. And I’ll bring Naruto with me. You can rest now, Sasuke, I’m here now. I’ll see you soon.

When Vincent looks at the Shikabane-hime—

(Kako, Yuffie introduces it as, trying to play it off as just a late coming fellow Wutaian. If the other members of the party make the connection between the godly manifestation of starlit shadows and the normal looking woman following them blandly, they aren’t making a fuss about it, so neither will Vincent.)

—the Chaos inside of him settles into peace.

—

(soldier)

“You resemble your ancestor quite a bit,” Kako says to Cloud during a quiet stretch of their travels. It is the first thing she says to him.

Cloud nods, because what else can he do in response to that—

(Of course nobody believes that Kako is just a normal Wutaian woman, but they’re up against the biggest superpower in the world and also an ancient evil and also an undying Sephiroth while the Planet riots in its attempt to save itself, like a fever willing to burn everything up to stave off the infection.

They’ll take any help they can get, imposter or no. And it’s not as if he has room to talk about that anyway.)

—but he does notice that her eyes are closed as she says this, implying her remark isn’t about a visual resemblance but something else, something deeper.

“He was named after a storm,” she says, and for once her tone changes, the apathy gently flavored with fondness, “but he was truly more like the sun.” Her expression, too, shifts: a small, sad smile gracing her face.

And because Cloud knows what it’s like to lose someone you admired—in both ways, the aching grief of losing an admired person, and the sharp lance of a hero no longer being admirable—he asks her, stumbling “Were you—did you know them well?”

Her eyes open at this, an assessing glance sent his way. Her smile melts away, as if it had never been.

“Yes,” she says, tone flattened once more. “He was a good man and the Planet turned him into a WEAPON.”

Cloud startles. He looks to Aerith as he does whenever Planet and Cetra stuff are brought up, but he finds her face turned away, as if guilty, not wanting to meet his or Kako’s eyes.

“But no need to worry,” Kako says, voice not so much reassuring as it is grimly determined. “I will ensure you do not follow his path too closely.”

#jacksgreyson #anonymous #ask box advent calendar #foundation of yesterday #dreaming of sunshine #final fantasy vii #shikako nara #yuffie kisaragi #vincent valentine #cloud strife #fanfiction #writing

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flightlessangelwings · 2 years ago

Text

"wrapping your legs around your lover's body as they lift you"

Dream of the Endless x fem!plus size!reader (no use of y/n)

Word count- 795

Warnings- some spice but no actual smut, Dream lifts reader, established relationship, mention of slight body insecurity but nothing descript

Notes- The first of my 4k follower drabble requests for the lovely @miraclesabound! Thank you so much this one was a lot of fun to write! I also incorperated the other prompt too just not word for word lol. Enjoy!

Taglists are closed. To stay up to date on when I post, follow my update blog and turn on post notifs @flightlessangelwings-updates

You let out a contented sigh as the warm water hit your body. The day was long and exhausting, and you wanted nothing more than to relax in a hot, steamy shower. The comforting sound of the water washed the day away as you lathered up with your favorite soap and let the smell engulf you. As far as you were concerned, the world outside your bathroom didn’t exist at all, and all the stresses from the outside were kept at bay.

But, just as you lost yourself in the sanctuary of the shower, a cool breeze hit your skin and your eyes flew open. You let out a gasp as you grabbed your shampoo bottle, ready to throw it at whatever it was. Tense, you yanked the shower curtain aside enough so you could see what shadowy presence made itself known.

You let out a deep exhale when you realized who it was though, “Morpheus,” you breathed, “You scared the shit out of me!”

He stood in his long black coat, his hands behind his back. The stoic look on Morpheus’ face melted away as he looked at the outline of your figure from the curtain and a slight smirk graced his face, “Apologies, love.”

Suddenly, the warmth of your body came from the inside as the way his eyes devoured your curves sent a pulse of adrenaline through your veins, “Apology accepted,” you quipped back.

The sound of the shower continued as you both stared at each other. You were used to the Lord of Dream’s evening visits, but this was the first time he had caught you in the shower. And you couldn’t say that you were upset about it. Summoning your courage, your tone dropped, “You can join me… If you want…”

His eyes darted up and down your body before he let out a short laugh and chucked his jacket off. Your eyes went wide as inch by inch of his perfect, soft skin was revealed to you, and you clenched your thighs together when you saw his all black clothes puddle on the floor.

Dream stayed still for a moment before he smirked back, “I believe you are gawking, my love.”

With a gasp, you met his eyes again where instead of his usual hard expression, he looked soft… and amused. Your embarrassment quickly faded as he made his way toward the shower and pushed the curtain aside, fully exposing you and all your curves to him. Stepping into the show, Dream never took his eyes off of you.

“Now who's gawking,” you jested back.

Mischievousness gleaned behind Morpheus’ eyes as he closed the small space between your bodies and placed a hand on your chin, “I don’t hear you complaining, my beautiful love.”

You sighed as you flashed a smile to hide your nerves, “Who says I am?” No matter how many times Dream touched you, looked at you, made love to you, the nerves were always there. It was like your first time all over again, and you couldn’t have it any other way.

“I didn’t think so,” he smirked as he crashed his lips into yours.

You moaned into his mouth as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and parted your lips for him. Morpheus groaned as he backed you up against the wall and kissed you with a passion he hadn’t felt for anyone for a long time. He knew at times your body was a source of insecurity for you, and he always made it a point to make you feel like the goddess he saw you as.

With little effort at all, Morpheus grabbed your hips and lifted you off the ground, pinning you between the wall and his body as the warm water of the shower hit you both. He swallowed the yelp you let out, not wanting to break the kiss for even a moment.

Momentarily, you were disoriented, but you felt safe and secure in Morpheus’ arms. He always started you when he picked you up so easily, but you had to remind yourself that he was a supernatural being older than almost everything. But more importantly, you trusted him. So, you kept your lips connected with his as you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him as close as possible.

“Morpheus…” you whimpered as you bucked your hips against his body.

“I’ve got you my love,” he murmured in your ear as he peppers kisses along your jaw, “Allow me to take care of my beautiful lady love.”

You chuckled softly as your body tingled under his touch, “How can I say no to that?!”

Morpheus groaned as he tightened his grip on you, and he had no plans of letting go of you anytime soon…

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monstermoviedean · 1 month ago

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it's honestly beyond wild how easily dean lets cas off for some pretty irredeemable, unforgiveable stuff with no understanding or even acknowledgement on cas' part of the kind of incredible actual-no-strings gift he's been given (and thrown away, rinse, repeat). i can appreciate the take that it just goes to show how deeply braindead in love dean is (and i might still be able to find the romance in it if there was ever any kind of equal or at least comparable weight on cas' end) but he can do (and has done) (and deserves) so much better! rip!! on a list of all dean's boyfriends ranked in order of how well they treated him cas would come in dead last.. can't even rate him over the ones that tried to kill dean because uh cas has not only done that too but also done that more than most (without even factoring in the mind control) lol wanky maybe but that doesn't make it untrue womp womp

anyway the trap effectively killed many of my charitable feelings for cas and despair took care of much of the rest. i know you're not there yet and still manage some warmth for cas besides (plus my post s15 cas/destiel opinions probably trend significantly more harshly than even the rare and wonderful few who have been openly critical of both that aren't br*nly/c*sties, i can acknowledge that lol) but after the trap and knowing what's still to come, it's very difficult for me to see cas-as-dean's-endgame being a positive thing for dean. that may be what he wants but like please for the love @ him: want better!!! i mean, s6 was tough but also so crunchy and opened the door for a world of (tragically unrealized) possibilities. the shadow that s15 and everything leading up to it casts over all of that is just.. so so long. there's been so many opportunities for cas to be better and he just. wastes them.

i'm so interested to see what your takeaway from despair is because it left me feeling kind of hollow on destiel and deeply skeptical of cas when stacked up against everything else. cas may be in love with his idea of dean but he's proven over and over again that he's either incapable of or unwilling to be and see dean as an equal, loving partner. idk if it's a fault in the writing (feels like a cop out to pin things on that though, especially when cas is actually written fairly consistently compared to most other characters) or just that mc isn't as dynamic/effective an actor as jackles but i find myself less and less convinced of cas' sincerity as time goes on. he's wildly selfish. i think it's far easier to make the argument in canon that everything he's done, including that confession, has been far more selfishly motivated than motivated by any genuine love or care for dean (or jack for that matter). maybe an uncharitable assessment, but not an unfounded one.

what dean says about angel's caring and cas playing sorry in 7x21 and cas insisting he's "a lot like people" to rowena's (very apt) assessment of him in 10x22 are always top of my mind when i try to make sense of cas in the aftermath. he's not sorry, he's playing sorry. he's not people, he's performing people. angels don't have souls and i'm not sure i really buy grace as a substitute but, even if i did, cas' has been waning for a very long time (which i wish had been explored more considering all of the weight the canon puts on having a soul). cas isn't that far removed from donatello who, in his soullessness, turned to mr rogers for behavioral cues. cas holds dean in that role, he's just not especially good at emulating him. or maybe just doesn't understand what it is he should be emulating. all of that to say that i really, truly believe cas wants to feel people feelings (feelings is dean as people is dean as humanity is dean etc etc etc), i'm just not sure if i buy that it's ever more than performance for him.

like fanfic is great, i love fanfic! post s15 fix-its moving further and further away from the "dean pulls his head out of his ass" model is such a gift!! but in actual canon?? ough. cas' very long, very well established patterns make canon destiel a super hard sell for me in a post s15 world. there's no reason to believe that things would ever change because, to the bitter end(?), they never did.

anyway anyway, i'm sorry for using your inbox as a rantbox and i fully understand if you ignore this, i know parts of it might be kind of a powder keg lol it's hard to not be cynical and frustrated by so much squandered potential i suppose, especially when so much of the fandom popular opinions on these things have been just so. bad and wrong. for so long. it's been a relief to see some of those tides turning as more people revisit the source material, though! please just know that i really have enjoyed following along on your rewatch and appreciate how much thought and care you put into understanding this show and these characters. i'm looking forward to seeing where what's left of the journey takes you!

there are some points here i agree with and some i don't, but i can entirely see where you're coming from. i just want to extend some love to you because yeah, sometimes this story is really incredibly frustratingly sad and bleak. also no need to apologize, i love inbox rants <3

i'm publishing this because i think there are a lot of interesting points of discussion about cas and his relationship with dean. blanket statement for anyone who might read it: i am not interested in cas-bashing or anon-bashing. don't do that here. or anywhere, frankly.

to start off: it IS beyond wild that dean lets cas off for some things. breaking sam's wall is the first example that comes to mind. i mean wow, good for dean for being the bigger person and forgiving there, but holy shit.

i'm gonna politely disagree with you on cas treating dean badly. i do see where you're coming from! this is something i've talked about before re: cas actually - that sometimes the way dean treats cas is viewed as poor treatment, but in actuality cas doesn't receive it that way at all. so cas' tendency to put the mission first, for example, is something that dean GETS. dean doesn't feel like cas is neglecting him by doing this. i think there are also circumstances in which cas' actions are understandable, even if i don't like them. and a lot of the "constant apocalypse" problems lead to responses that don't have a real-world equivalent. all that being said, i think one thing cas could fix/address is answering his phone when dean calls him.

on dean doing better - i think people in dean's life could and should treat him better. i also think he loves and cares about those people and would not trade them out, and i respect that.

on cas being better - mixed feelings on this. i totally understand where you're coming from and don't want to invalidate you here or at any point! i think cas is trying to be better. i think he's locked into a pattern where he only sees one option for being better - fixing things / getting wins / sacrificing himself / otherwise protecting dean and sparing dean harm. i feel for him there, i really do. smarter people than me have pointed to heaven brainwashing/upbringing as the reason this pattern exists. so i don't expect him to break out of that pattern, but i do think it's reasonable to wish he had come to recognize that this DOES harm dean. i think cas often believes he knows how dean feels. sometimes he's right, sometimes he's wrong. and in this case while dean can understand why cas is doing what he's doing and respect his decisions enough to not put up a fight about them, it does hurt dean to watch cas walk away into certain danger over and over. it especially hurts when dean has no power in the situation and is left with nothing to do but to hope cas comes back.

so i have actually seen 15x18 and have some feelings about it but i don't want to comment until i see it again. i know i missed a ton of context the first time i watched it (november 6 2020 after not having watched the show in a few years), and i'm interested to see how my interpretation changes!

one opinion i have that i don't think will change: i believe cas' pattern of keeping secrets to protect dean, then having those secrets blow up, causing dean pain and/or causing cas to leave, is not disrupted. i believe 15x18 reinforces this pattern, in fact. and i do not like that. i do appreciate that cas did it for love and he was backed into a horrible corner, and at the same time, from dean's perspective, it's another example of cas leaving.

on cas not seeing dean as an equal partner. hoooo boy, this one gave me pause. i am very conflicted about this, to be honest. i think cas THINKS he sees dean as an equal partner, but i'm not sure he actually does. i'm also not sure he treats him like one. consistently, at least. i think they're equals when they're dealing with "ordinary" problems (monsters, people), but when the problems are angel-level or higher, i think cas thinks he has more ability to solve those problems than dean does. sometimes he's right (cas should be the one talking to michael in 15x08, for example). but not always. and i could see that coming across as patronizing. i want to think more about this one!

on cas' selfishness. this is tough because i think cas is trying to be selfless in a way that comes across as selfish. he wants to be the hero. he believes he can be the hero. he wants to spare others from being the hero. and while that's usually well-intentioned (taking on burdens so others don't have to), it can read as "no one else is capable of this but me." and i think the major problem is that cas looks at things from a 30,000-foot level. he is often less concerned with the ground-level impacts. so when he's, idk, saying yes to lucifer, he's thinking "someone has to and it may as well be me" but he's not thinking "oh shit dean is going to have to watch lucifer parade me around and then kill me." while i understand his reasoning in these high-stakes no-win situations and i'm not mad about it, i do wish he would consider the impacts of his small decisions on others more often. sorry to bring up the phone thing again but it's the best example i've got - it would be nice if cas made it more of a priority to answer his phone when dean calls because it's important to dean, even if it isn't important to cas. it will help dean feel more secure and they will have a nice conversation because they enjoy talking to each other. we have hints of this kind of thing happening but i would like to see it more clearly and consistently. or like. icing sam out during the rupture was pretty shitty. he could have at least texted back. (yes he was in a bad spot, no he doesn't have to respond to sam all the time, but a little 'i'm not dead' text would have made a big difference)

i think "uncharitable but not unfounded" is very understandable. i, personally, believe cas loves and cares about dean. i also could come up with some examples of cas' actions that, regardless of intent, communicate to dean that this is not true. i think if you want to make a case that cas doesn't care, you can. i wouldn't agree with it, and i think there's a better case that cas does care, but i do recognize that the show itself leaves that door open. and it does bother me. i would feel better if cas showed more consistent and obvious care for dean TO dean.

i think cas does confuse/equate feeling guilty with feeling sorry. i think he does both, but sometimes he is playing sorry. i think his defense of jack at the end of s14 contradicts his claims of being sorry, for example. but i'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is actually sorry most of the other times.

on cas' feelings - i see where you're coming from, and i disagree here. i think cas does have feelings, even if he doesn't always know what they are or how to process them. someone (i think ilarual?) made a cool post about cas growing a soul that i thought was a neat idea. but i can certainly sympathize with wanting the show to do more with angels, grace, angel feelings, etc.

i do believe cas is sincere in his care and in wanting to do better, and that's one reason i have faith in dean and cas being able to work it out and be good for each other! i think that's a major difference between our perspectives. and i don't have an answer here, because again, i see where you're coming from. if you're open to it, i might suggest considering cas' actions from a perspective that he's 100% sincere 100% of the time. it might be interesting to try, even if it doesn't change your opinions at all (and you definitely don't have to try it or change your opinions).

one million billion trillion percent agree on squandered potential. there are so many problems we've discussed here that i think could be fixed with attention and goodwill. but will they be fixed? sigh. i don't know. i like to believe so, but cynicism is also a fair response. i think a lot of my feelings come down to this question: if the show had continued, would 15x18 have been a turning point? would it have finally allowed dean and cas to change their relationship? or would it have set it in stone, never to be changed again? i think it's a matter of interpretation. i tend toward the former - that 15x18 would have changed everything and allowed them space to finally get it right - but i can also see why the latter works, especially because the show ending DID set it in stone that way.

it HAS been a relief to see shifts in conversation, and i hope they continue. and thank you so so much for your very kind words! they are not necessary but they are appreciated :) i often feel like i'm just fumbling around in the dark compared to a lot of others, and it's nice to hear i haven't completely mucked it up. also i really enjoyed answering this, so thanks for giving me so much to chew on!

#spn #15x09 the trap #15x18 despair

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itisbop · 9 months ago

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And now... the moment you've all been waiting for (or not, which is fine)! Let's talk Brawl Talk because OH BOY am I excited.

This is gonna be a pretty long post, so bear with me! I'll go over one section at a time and go over what I liked and disliked. Spoilers ahead! If you haven't watched the latest Brawl Talk, go do so! One more reminder, these are just my thoughts! You don't have to agree with me!

Without further to do... let's talk!

New Brawlers (Angelo and Melodie)

Now, when I first saw Angelo, I immediately went, "HE'S UGLY LMAO." After getting used to him, though, he's actually not that bad. His design is really good and is somewhat of an anti-cupid (perfect for a gal like Willow). Also, his voice actor did such a good job so much energy was put into him.

He doesn't seem like he's gonna be incredibly busted, but he is gonna be good in the right hands (while I'm at it pay your respects to Mortis Mains ya'll, they just took a major l with this guy). Sorry Larry and Lawrie, but you two are gonna have to step aside, I NEED this man as much as I need the next brawler.

I. LOVE. MELODIE!!! I did think she was a League of Legends character at first, lol.

Apparently, I've heard people say she is the first female assassin, which is very interesting! Out of the two, I feel she poses more of a threat. She might be broken, though her main attack is WEAK.

I've been through the Reddit and have seen so many people talk about how she looks like Janet, and I'd like to take the time to bring up a little theory... what if she was Janet and Bonnie's mom? I would go into this further, but we have to keep going!

Overall, I really like these two! Their designs are really good, and the character designers did a great job! Their pins and profile pictures show SO much personality! Expect some art of these two soon! However, if I may say something, I wish their skins were cooler. Why couldn't Angelo have a Sands of Time skin too? 😭

Speaking of Sands of Time...

Sands of Time and Ragnorok + Skins

Out of both seasons, I'm very hyped for Sands of Time. The "Sands of Time" is a very interesting concept that can be used very creatively. Can't wait to see what the animation brings! Though I think we all know why I'm hyped...

My best guest was that this skin was gonna be a Epic/Mythic skin, but a LEGENDARY?????? WHAT?????? Chuck fans we just fucking WON. I've seen the sneak peaks and heard his voice lines, Nicolai did an INCREDIBLE job as always. I'm am SO READY to go broke for this skin, but first, I must purchase some seasonal skins since they've been on my agenda for a while.

Loki Chester has to be the one I'm looking forward to getting the most for the Ragnorok seasons/skins. Plus, it's free! (If you have good luck).

Side note and honorable mention, Thor Bibi was just the icing on the cake for Bibi Mains this update. While I feel like a few more details could be added for this skin to make in truly "legendary," everything else about it great, including the voice acting! Poor Bull, he's the only one in his yet to get a Legendary Skin.

Ranked and The Report System

Okay, not related, but I love how they disses on the community a bit in this section, LOL. They know what, at least Reddit and Twitter are doing (and let's keep it that way, they don't need to know what's going on over here lol).

Anyways, while I'm excited (and scared) for Ranked with modifiers I wanna take this time to talk about a concern... the report system...

Now, I know there's a reason why we have 10 reports; but what's gonna stop so angry guy from reporting me if I didn't do anything? I feel like there's a chance this could backfire, that's all.

Hypercharges and Balance Changes

No Mortis or Poco hypercharge :(

Cordelius was definitely unexpected and very scary. Getting slowed in the shadow realm is a death sentence.

I wish Belle got a little more this update, but I'll take the hypercharge.

Move over Charlie, there's a new spider person in town, and he's a DINOSAUR.

Onto to balance changes. 84???? GOD DAMN. Adrien wasn't fucking around this update. Edgar is dead (and rightfully so FUCK HIM) and Doug might actually stand a chance in this Meta. I'll miss the days when Hypercharges were game breaking just for the community's rage, but it's probably for the greater good.

Whatever the Fuck the Random Skins Were

Now Primo Shark, I can take (though I'm definitely not gonna be able to take Baby Shark as a in game theme, I'm muting music for that entire time period). Pitcher Fang is a good skin too. Squeaky note is very... meh, but it's a rare skin so you can't expect much.

BUT POOP SPIKE.

POOP SPIKE.

What

the

FUCK?

It was tolerable until I saw the losing animation, and to that, I say EWWWWWWWWWW 🤮🤮🤮. WHYYYYY!?!?!? THAT'S SO NASTY!!!

I get that this is an April Fool's skin, but WHYYY THAT??? Thank GOD this skin is expensive. If I catch any of you with this skin, I'm gonna need to ask if you're okay. I don't wanna show a picture of this skin to you all, or else I'm pretty sure Tumblr would kick me to the curve. This is easily what I was least excited for for this update.

Overall Rating and Final Thoughts

Now, it's time to throw the final ratings on screen and say anything else that's on my mind.

New Brawlers - 9.5/10, definitely getting both! Let's hope they get some cool skins soon!

Sands of Time - 7/10, the concept and Chuck carry this season don't fight me on this. /j

Ragnorok - 6.5/10, I'm not as hyped, but I will grind for that Chester skin!

Ranked - 8/10, now I have a reason to actually play this mode. Hopefully, the report system is fair enough...

Hypercharges - 6.5/10, again not as hype, but I will be snatching that Belle Hypercharge since she's the only one out of the 6 I maxed out. She deserved more, though. :(

Balance Changes - 10/10, bye Edgar begone. F for the twins, however; I liked them.

Random Stuff - 3/10, not even Pitched Fang can save us from whatever the devs were on.

Overall Season 24/25 is...

8/10! (Poop Spike ruined it >:( )

And that's it. For those who have read to the end, thank you so much for heating me ramble it means so much. Expect some headcanons and more little theories soon (as in some time this week). Until then, ciao!

#brawl stars #speak no eve vil #see no eve vil #doodle #all brawlers

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tonberry-yoda · 1 year ago

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Hi , tonnberry may i ' ve request for final fantasy 😄 for Claude and Noctis with they married female s/o until they had children. I wonder how the two of them became a father to their children like what kind of activities?whether they can spare their time?, and how will they cope when their teenage son acts like a Brat ?

That's all from me , anyway i'm really like your blog don't forget to tag me in your update please!!!🥹🌹😩

Thank you so much for this , love your dear 😘

Cloud and Noctis as Fathers (f!reader)

notes - AHHH HI! Sorry this took so long, I've just been swamped with a ton of stuff, but I cleared out a bunch of requests and am more than happy to do this one for you! It's funny that I don't get a lot of requests even though my name is literally Tonberry lolol. Thanks for much for the request my dear! I hope you enjoy and have an amazing day <3 tag list - @cerezzzita (I remember you being interested in this one love <3), @kawaistrawberry21

CLOUD

he wasn't expecting to be a father when he was young

like being a father was the last thing on his mind

but after everything chaotic in his life, he finally decided to settle down and found the perfect partner, you!

only then was he fully prepared to become a father

you talked about it a lot and told Cloud that he would be a wonderful father

he thought you would be a wonderful mother, so after a while, you found that you were going to have a child! (or if you prefer to adopt, that would be super cute for the two of you)

at first, raising a child was very difficult

it didn't matter that Cloud had nearly fought god in his lifetime, raising a child had to be one of the most challenging things he ever faced

this also made him a little self concious

he was helping, but saw you doing a lot of the work

^ he would always step in though to help, no hesitation

his favorite thing was teaching his child how to grow into a lovely human

lots of playing and just being a kid, which neither you nor Cloud really had, so it meant a lot to be having that with a child of your own

lots of family adventures and traveling

for the first time in a long time, a smile hasn't left Cloud's face <3

NOCTIS

he would be TERRIFIED

he would be prepped, but terrified

you two talked about having a child, but even after talks, it was still scary

and you were a more natural mother, ready to help the child at any cost and already knew what to do

he just felt like some idiot in the back watching you

lets just say he spoiled you a little more than the baby because he felt bad for everything you had to do

he would still be a fun dad though

and the baby would have all their uncle chocobros to hang around

ignis teaches Noctis how to make food for the baby and through trial and error, he actually makes some pretty damn good food for the lil thing!

but having friends around makes raising the baby more fun, especially because you can trust them when you're too tired some days

Noctis though would love napping with the baby

^ you would walk into the kitchen to tell him that dinner's ready and find him napping with the baby on his chest and you definitely tear up and take TONS of pictures

he would be ecstatic, but he was more of a scared dad at first lol

he knew a baby would come eventually with him being king and all later, but he didn't know it would be such a hard thing

he's just thankful to you and his friends for being patient and helping out <3

~~~~~

final fantasy masterlist | pinned post | ko-fi

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

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tikay21 · 2 months ago

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🐺How to use hashtags on tumblr to organize a story!

It was like paddling in an open sea .... Ok, it really took me 4 years to figure out the thing with the internal hashtags on Tumblr and realize that there is an advantageous sense in them initially only working within your own blog. If you don’t really need them, the benefit isn’t immediately obvious.

Plus, the display of the most commonly used hashtags leads you to assume they are more universally intended. The advantage of internal blog hashtags didn’t click for me - until the moment I actually needed them to bring order to my blog chaos and understood that you can easily sort everything with them, especially when it comes to storytelling.

I originally thought: “I'll make sideblogs for the stories, so I can have everything neatly gathered, with matching colors and background images." However, the hashtags from the main blog don’t work in the sideblogs anymore unless I link them and unless I’ve missed something again. Now I’m wondering if I even need the sideblogs anymore. Probably not. So, new plan:

I’ll post everything on my main blog

tag it with both specific and general tags

using intern unique tags for different supposes

and that’s pretty much it. At the top of a pinned post, I’ll provide an overview of what you can find under which hashtag, and they’ll automatically function as a sorter for an entire internal storyline. Done.

Btw, thanks for the right hints, which made me take a closer look, test things out, and understand how it works by answering my question on it here ...

@figure-it-out-later and @tenyrasims - which made me think about it and especially @satureja13 for the needed key to my head to unlock this blind point🥰. from @satureja13 : ... I just make sure to tag every post properly so I can add new stuff to my pinned post. You can also keep your pinned post clean by making sub posts, like I do for my chapters, for example. ... I can find every event, character, location… within seconds. That’s what I really love about tumblr.

So, what can I do now to satisfy my need for beeing over organization🙈? Technically, I could delete the sideblogs, but I can also use them in parallel, reblogging the respective content there, and thus have everything in a separate place, visually appealing with the story-appropriate colors - for my own peace of mind or for anyone who prefers to read there. But I’ll only reblog, not post the original, so following the sideblogs isn’t really necessary - though of course, you can if you prefer the color-coordinated layout there. If I ever decide it’s all too much, I can delete the sideblogs without losing my original content, as long as I only reblog from the mainblog to the sideblogs.

Is anyone still following? Probably not,😂 but I think this works for me.

Long story short: I’m going to rearrange things once more and adjust the pinned post accordingly... and bring any duplicate content back to the main blog. My old stuff from before the long break will stay here, and maybe I’ll update broken links if I ever get bored - not that I know the meaning of the word, lol. Otherwise, it’ll just stay as it is, since there’s barely anything left in my EA gallery, except for the stuff that can’t be deleted.

Ok, here we go ...

#how to organize a storyline via hastags #tikays #sims story

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devils-servent · 8 months ago

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Can you write something where the reader let's the boys stay but doesn't date any of them officially, but her and Sam make out for energy but they both want more so one day they kiss without the energy drain and its like HOLY CRAP HE FEELS THE SAME for a split second but then the kiss becomes more? Sorry if that's too specific lol,

I'm so sorry anon I thought I had posted this months ago! Turns out I had not!! And I’ve been so busy and distracted I did not notice. But, Not at all too specific! Wasn't sure if you wanted smut or not so I added a line break thingy in case that isn’t your vibe.

AFAB fem!reader x Sam and this is written in second person so sorry about that if it's rough because that's why this took too long (except the fact that I didn't notice this did get posted so that comment doesn't really matter anymore :P) -_- but I struggle a bit with second sometimes.

NSFW: minors preferably DNI but you choose what you interact with so be wise Tags: L-bombs, Slight overstimulation, Creampie, slight praise kink, Vaginal sex, make outs, Crossposted to A03, (lemme know if I’ve missed a key tag).

This work was inspired by Michaela Laws' Seduce me series. I own none of the characters here and you should definitely check out her stuff!! https://www.michaelaamandalaws.com/links

Mutual love Word count: 1.8k

The sun was beaming down on you as you led in your deck chair on the balcony, peeking down at some of the brothers relaxing in the garden. You smiled as Matthew and Sam began having a water fight much to Erik's chagrin as he was attempting to sunbathe.

“Will you pair quit it?”

Times like this you were really glad you allowed the boys to stay, no matter how daunting that decision actually was at the time. They were like a little family and you cared for them as if they were their brothers. Except Sam, you felt something more for him. It started small, with you casting lingering looks on his broad, strong frame. Then it grew to deciding to seek his company over his brothers, even when you had first met and he wasn’t too keen on you at all!. You had such a huge crush on him even if you struggled to admit that to yourself. It sucked though. you were almost certain he didn’t feel the same way, why would he? He was an Incubus! he could have literally anyone he wanted and it was unlikely that was you.

You knew how he felt, how he tasted on your lips, he had made out with you in the past but it was always because he was starving. Like when you first met, and he robbed your first kiss, igniting a desire in you, one you had long thought you lacked. Or before he fought Malix after he had a shower and you were delivering dinner. But it was always a kiss and nothing more.

You Sighed and got up, meandering down the stairs to the kitchen. Glancing out of the window and saw James and Damien had joined the other three brothers and they sat at the bottom of the garden talking. That is cute. You plodded over to the toaster in the corner and popped a bagel in and sighed gently, slightly slumped over the counter.

You knew you should probably tell him at some point, lest lose the chance at all. But it was easier said than done. If you just waited for the right moment, the perfect opportunity then maybe just maybe…

“Heya Doofus, Whatcha doing?”

Sam strode in, shutting the patio doors behind him, plopping himself beside you. He was shirtless, only in his shorts, skin slightly tacky where he had been goofing around. You gave a coy smile at him, gesturing vaguely to the toaster.

“Cooking, obviously”

You jumped a little as the bagel popped out, laughing at yourself. Sam had no response, he just looked at you. There was a strange look in his eye, one you were hesitant to identify. Your breath shallows, stepping back a little intimidated. Sam stepped forward, filling the space you had created and you bump into the counter behind you. He brought his arm above you resting it on the cabinet and effectively pinning you in place.

“Umm, Sam I-”

He cupped your chin and brought your lips up to his, gently grazing them with his own. Your heart was pounding, you could feel it in your ear drums. He probably needed energy, hence the strange demeanour.

“Is this okay? Do you mind if I kiss you?”

You nodded gently, anticipating the energy drain. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss, one distinctly lacking something.

“Wait, where's the energy drain? I thought you needed energy?”

Sam sighed and pulled back, standing awkwardly in front of you.

“I mean I could take your energy if you want me too but I’m- I…” He sighed deeply, taking your hand in his and smoothing his fingers over your knuckles. “I love you (Y/N). and I’ve known for a while and it's okay if you don’t. We can keep the dynamic we had. But- I love you. And, I'd like something more, we can take it slow go at your pace but I-”

You cut him off, your hand snaking to the back of his head and pulling him down to your level and kissing him. “I Love you too, I knew I did- i just never thought you would feel the same.” you smiled tearfully.

The corner of his mouth twitched into a grin. You were pulled into a kiss. It was sloppy and eager. You raked your hands through his hair and pulled him closer. Pulling away and gasping, cheeks flushed and lips glistening. His hands wandered down your hips, cupping your butt and picking you up.

“Come on, let's go upstairs and talk”

He had teleported you upstairs and plopped you down on the bed. His lips found yours again as his hands wandered your body. Fingers dipping into the waistband of your pyjamas and finding your underwear. Running the pad of his fingers down over the seams caused you to let out a whimper.

“Please, Sam! I-”

Cutting you off with his lips, you could feel his smirk as he kissed your cheek. His kisses trailed down your neck and onto your chest where he cupped your breasts through your shirt. As he pulled off your shirt slowly, with small teasing touches, before smiling at the sight. He gave you a slow kiss on the lips before pulling away and pushing you down onto the bed.

“We’re supposed to be talking,” he said, chuckling at your flushed expression.

You relaxed, settling into the bed, turning to look at Sam beside you. “I can’t believe you love me too”

He smiled and brought you closer “Why wouldn’t I? You’re all I've wanted since we set foot in this house and that will never change” he wrapped his arms around your waist cuddling his face into your neck as he shifted to be the big spoon. You settled into his touch, happy and content that your feelings were reciprocated.

You had stripped down into a shirt and your underwear and him just his pyjama pants and just cuddled for a while. You just basked in the others presence and mutual feeling for each other, idly discussing your crushes on each other and everything you want to do together.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Soon, his hands began to wander. His hands travelled down your waist, fingers creeping up your shirt and tracing the waistband of your underwear. You sucked in a breath at his touch and pushed your hips into his hands, tilting your head to meet his lips ghosting them over his.

“Are you sure you want to…” he started, a blush creeping across his face as he took heavy breaths.

You answered him with a kiss and you felt his smirk against your lips and he shifted to sit up and pulled you onto his lap. You subconsciously began to grind your hips into his feeling his rock hard cock through your panties. You let out a soft moan that was captured by his mouth, soon getting lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours and his cock teasing your pussy.

Sam’s eyes began to glow a soft gold and warmth pumped through your body. You didn’t notice when he pulled your panties down, you just felt a finger circle clit as you rolled your hips. You buried your head into his neck. Crying out his name as he teased you.

“Aww, Your so wet and so needy, do you want me to fuck you?” he breathed, voice deep with poorly restrained arousal. He moved his hands, one supported your waist and one wrapped around his own cock as he rubbed it along your entrance. “You're so soaked, you want this cock don’t you”.

Crying out as he teased, you were barely able to marshall your tongue into responding a weak “yes, please Aomaris” Your use of his demon name set something off in him. He makes a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl as he slides into you with ease. Rolling his hips gently into you at first, cautiously watching for signs of discomfort. Your fingers found their way into his hair. Looking him in the eyes as you cried out for him to go faster. He did what he was told, hips moving at a speed you did not think was possible. His hand had moved back to circle your clit and you gasped at the sensation. Thrusting your hips into his hand desperately.

Your eyes were screwed shut, panting as he drove you to your orgasm. As sweat began to bead and drip down your forehead, Sam looked at you lovingly. “You’re so beautiful, do you know that doofus? And you’re all mine.” he pulled his bottom lip in-between his teeth, biting as he attempted to control his thrusts.

Arching your back, you attempted to get him in deeper–pushing your cunt flush against his hips. You open your eyes and reach towards him, placing your palm upon his chest. You admired his chiselled chest. You needed him. “Need it Harder…” You begged.

His eyes screwed shut barely maintaining his control. When Sam opened his eyes, the emerald green had been all but washed away, leaving nothing but dark pupils in their wake. He pulled out of you and flipped you, your face now buried into the pillows on your bed. You arched your back teasingly, spreading your legs weakly as your wetness dripping down your legs.

Sam cupped your pussy with his hand, running his thumb over your flushed and dripping hole. He plunged his hips up and pushed into you with desperation “Is this what you needed?” The growl that left his throat, only pushed you closer to the edge. He continued to thrust into you his hands grasping at your ass and then tracing your spine. His consistent teasing touches made you melt into the bed beneath you.

“Please don’t stop, Sam I’m gonna…” He pulled you up from the bed, spreading your legs and pressing his chest into your back and burying his head in your neck without his cock ever leaving you. He dropped his hand back at your clit, keeping his pace as he encouraged you to cum.

“Do It, cum all over my thick cock baby. Its okay” He kept going murmuring praises and saucy comments as he fucked you. “Im gonna cum Baby, are you gonna cum with me? All over me?” and with that you did. You clenched around his cock as he brought you to your orgasm, you feverishly rode he cock desperate to feel his cum inside you. Soon you felt it, his hips stuttering and plunging even deeper into you as he let out a deep moan. He teased your clit again, the over sensitivity leading to you cuming again and you felt your energy being pulled out of you as you came.

His grip was tight around you as you shook. Eyes shutting again and legs quivering, you basked in the bliss for who knows how long. Soon you felt the call of sleep and you settled in his arms, his magic rolling over you and the bed.

“I love you” you spoke out, voice hoarse and weak as he pulled you off his cock and tucked you into bed. He soon settled next to you, laying a delicate kiss on your forehead.

“I love you too (Y/n),”

#seduce me #seduce me the otome #seduce me otome #seduce me sam #smut writing #seduce me fanfiction #smto

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kirby-the-gorb · 1 year ago

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reply roundup!

had to put these on hold for a while for personal reasons </3 they're likely to still be infrequent, but in honor of kirb2k!

(my notes would only load back to mid september so I missed a couple weeks sorry :c but be warned that this is a long one! it's 3 entire months' worth!)

also, reminder that kirb2k ends tomorrow!!! preorders, commissions, and auctions will all close at noon pst on sunday december 17th! everything is linked in the pinned post or filed under the tag kirb2k!

first is one more birthday kirb from my friend @sleepy-sheep-wizard:

Realized halfway thru that I don’t know what Kirby looks like off the top of my head, so I got funky with it. Happy birthday, thank you for being a good friend

thank you again friend <3 getting funky with it is truly in the spirit of just drawing a little guy for fun, I love his little hat in particular.

on [mirror] @shapeshifterwithafez said: uuuh is Scherben bringen Glück/ Shards bring luck a universal saying? sounfs clinky as a direct translation. anyways in germany we say that shards of stuff you broke brings luck so I hope the luck finds you or smth sorry for rambling ^^

I'd never heard this saying before, but I think it's very sweet! thank you for sharing it with me :)

on [pipefight] @hauntedppgpaints said: goalies with a skate blade and their stick in hand

big hockey vibes for real yeah lol

on [pink] @gaydiation-poisoning said: ...I wanna eat that pink

honestly same, it's sooo pleasing

on [rain] @hive-heart said: Everything alright, daily kirby guy?

not really but sitting by the window in the rain is a good thing lol thanks for asking <3

(also the person who tagged that same post myhouse.wad made me laugh)

on [photo] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a picture of their cat and said: get adored idiot!! see the hate in her eyes? I’ll make her love me yet!!

me @ my partner's cat

@violet-dragongirl said: oh! I have been meaning to ask! Have you played Kirby and The Forgotten Lands? I assume you did but just wanted to say that I did about a week ago and I loved it and thought of your art! ^.^ And if you haven't, yes, Carby is super adorable and amazing :3

I have! I got it very shortly after it came out, I had a really good time with it. I've been slowly replaying it recently with my partner, they were kind of fond of kirby just by proxy but since we started playing they adore bandee now and say he never gets enough screen time XD I'm glad you also had fun!

on [mice] @ceylonsilvergirl said: girls like swarms of things, right?

idk bro my wife wasn't so big on it when I got a gig housing 30 mice, but maybe she's weird. I liked them. (sadly one of the best paying jobs I've ever had up until the owner lost it and abandoned them with me, yes I still took care of them for the rest of their little lives) (and yes I also got my wife's okay before I took them on in the first place)

on [covid] @mordantivore said: reading posts from when the era of covid safety was declared anathema and ended is haunting. we were so desperate to find ppl willing to help us stay alive. there are fewer of us now bc “allies” are worthless & more of us have died

yeah. fuck. I'm lucky that the people in closest proximity to me are at least moderately careful, but me and my wife and partner are usually the only ones wearing masks anywhere we go except sometimes the employees and I know they don't always wear them when they're out without me.

on [swim] @northeasternwind said: Jdjdjfkg imagining Kirby being way more bouyant than your average human so them gotta exhale REAL HARD or attach nega-floaties (sinkies?) like weights to dive

lol yeah they probably gotta try So Hard to actually get under the water. (I think diving weights/ballast is a thing that humans use too? I've never gone diving, having my face underwater stresses me out -n- )

on [float] @nickiemoot said: he has to go now. his planet needs him. *slide whistle*

I can only hear this as that one similar part from one of the asdfmovies, it delights me

@vampiricarus said: if you see this just know i love your art so much

aww thank you! <3

anonymous said: just wanted to say I love Kirby and I love your art! I’m always excited to see it on my dash. thank you for bringing a little joy to my life :) I need it once in a while like I’m sure a lot of others do too! Keep up the good work :))

thank you! drawing a little guy brings me a little joy too, I'm glad it can do the same for others <3

on [drain] @ceylonsilvergirl said: I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Existing is hard work sometimes. A lot of the time

fuck dude it sure is <3 especially when my body keeps trying to shut down lol

on [mud] @why-are-all-the-fun-urls-taken said: Hey man are u doing ok

I am not, thanks for asking <3

on [tummyache] @hobgirl said: :o kirby the gorb why would you do that!!!!! why!!!!!

I didn't want it to go to waste!!! everyone is dumb sometimes!!!

on [wizard] @eau-the-agony said: not enough appreciation in the wizarding world for garlic salt spell. its all kung pow penis tgis and ketamine ape that. not enough of the small joys which carry us through the horrors like a dinky garbage raft

you are so right. the small joys are the most powerful of all.

on [wizard] @beepbeepdespair said: somehow didnt know garlic salt was a thing until this moment. now i really want some. i think i just found a kg of it online for 12 quid??

I am so pleased that you now have the knowledge of Garlic Salt Spell, I hope you got to try it out for yourself :D

on [zelda] @chaos-squared said: Good job!! I’ve had it for longer yet still haven’t completed it ;w;

nothing wrong with that! I only finished it as quickly and thoroughly as I did because I was basically bedridden for all of october, as long as you enjoy the time you do spend with a game it doesn't really matter how much time you spend or how far you get.

on [brave] @gudetamalover said: me tomorrow afternoon when I get all four wisdom teeth out

I'd already had several other oral surgeries on account of Weird Teeth before I got my wisdom teeth out but it still knocked me on my ass for a couple days, I hope your recovery went as smooth as possible! (altho that was also like. 15 years ago. and general anesthesia has gotten a lot better since then.)

on [shiny] @angst-and-fajitas said: Like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

bald! bald! bald! bald!

on [powerwash] @chronicdilf said: decemberb 16 im goign to walk across the damn stage get my damn diploma folder im going to go home and POWERWASHER SIMULATOR JUST LIKE KIRBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah!!! you're gonna do it!!! you might be doing it right now even!!!

on [cooked] @hobgirl said: oh mood kirby..... struggling with the very last paper i need to write before i can graduate and its got me feeling this way fr

ough, I hope you made it through your paper! lots of people graduating tho that's so cool, congrats to both of you!

on [bears] @jupiterlandings said: I get so happy every time I see Cake and the name Cake being tagged :)

it's such a good name for a bear, I'm grateful you thought of it!! especially given the best I could do for the other one was "kirbear" lol

@violet-dragongirl said: omg seeing that Fav Grobs Post you recently put up makes me so happy! over a thousand (and then some!) GORBS?! :D I'm not only impressed but so proud ya made it this far and I'm so glad you got possibly more to go of Kirby!! :D!! Really great job 🥰🥰

thank you! I'm gonna hit 2000 days of drawing kirby tomorrow, that's so wild!

on [popular] @timeturner-jay said: Op your Kirby art brings so much utter joy you have no idea <3

yay I'm glad <3 I love to draw a little guy, it's good I'm not the only one having fun lol

I got a lot of "good blaze op" on the [macarena], and you're all correct, thank you for recognizing my great decision making B) (I'd been meaning to add the music and blaze it from basically the moment I drew it, I've just been really sick so it took a while.)

(also even if I don't always gather them in the roundup there are names I recognize showing up repeatedly in the tags, some of whom have been here for years, and I'm always glad to see you're still around!)

22 notes · View notes

enihk-writes · 1 year ago

Text

[dancing in the dark, in the pale moonlight]

pairing: baek cheon x afab!she/her!reader

summary: fuck that stupid ass job that almost cost you your relationship, am i right?

word count: 5.54k

[01] ║ [02]

content warning: an attempt at the reader's life // reader's injuries are gory (kinda) // mentions of someone (not the reader) being buried alive // misogyny as per the product of the era // reader talks a little on religion and the afterlife

author's note: i started writing this the moment i posted the other part because my brain was still working in high gear and all... i'll have to postpone my other baek cheon fic for a while,,, i wrote topics in that one that are a bit toooo heavy for me rn. i researched on fashion through the dynasties in china for like,, one short segment on the story. so anyways... if my guess is correct hwasan timeline is most likely inspired by the sui or tang dynasty during the 581-907 AD which means that the spirit here is going to be from the qin or han dynasty around 220 AD and most martial artists uniforms come from this era iirc. i feel like i might not actually use this research too closely,, but i had to put this in to tell yall about what i found lol...

[PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BEYOND THIS LINE]

═══════════════

by the time you arrived at the deserted manor, the clock had struck midnight. and in a few moments, the spirit or spirits behind all the bride murders would be making their appearance.

chief...

the vice-captain starts, uncharacteristically. they've always been on the quieter side, never really talking unless they were spoken to. you raise your eyebrows, curious about what got them to speak up.

chief, please be careful.

you smile softly, tussling the vice-captain's hair.

i will.

you look around for a moment. hm, looks like you'd have to put in your best effort tonight, as the oldest since these kids relied on you. with a flick of your hand, everyone on site dispersed to their assigned positions, waiting for their next orders.

you stood all alone outside of the bedroom, waiting patiently for the critters to grow quiet. animals, after all, are said to have a keen sense for things outside of the human realm.

finally, the long-awaited silence fell onto the empty courtyard and you slide open the doors to the room — stepping in carefully. your padded feet barely making a sound as you walk into the carpeted room. from where you stood, you could see the shadows cast by the sparse furniture under the dim moonlight. you hadn't decorated the place, not really seeing any need to.

click.

the doors to the bedroom had been slid shut. you fold your arms behind your back. the spirit should be here soon.

hehehe...

a tinkling laugh swept past behind you in the dark bedroom.

you grip the short blade hidden under your sleeves, honing your senses to pin down the other presence with you at that moment. it was harder than anything you've done before, were you dealing with something far bigger than what you were capable of?

no. you had to snap out of that thought. if not you, then who would get rid of this vicious entity? those kids were still too inexperienced, you shouldn't grow disheartened now.

sighing, you walk around the room, stopping by the open window, looking up at the moon hanging in the cloudless sky.

how peculiar, it seemed the longer you were staring at it, the heavier your eyelids felt. it was almost bewitching, looking at the moon, you wonder if it was a trick of your hearing or was the moon calling you to move closer towards it? and also —

wasn't the room growing awfully cold?

your body reacted faster than your mind did, the blade whistling as it cut through the air to slice at the shadow forming behind you.

an ear-piercing hiss came from the shapeless being, slowly backing away as its features took form in the body of a girl no older than sixteen. she clutched her neck, and though the cut was shallow, she certainly looked like she felt the pain from it.

how dare you cut me!

she yells and lunged at you, catching your neck in her hands as she pins you to the ground, the furniture around you clattering away from the impact. you were sure you could've heard a bone crack in you.

keugh...!

you felt the air leave your body, you tried to breathe but it was hard, with the way her hands pressed down on your throat. how was a dead spirit this strong? your fingers grip the blade tighter, cautiously getting it ready so she wouldn't see.

with a swift action, you stabbed into the girl's side and she retreated to the furthest corner of the room with an almost animalistic growl, all while glaring at you.

you throw the ripped veil off your head, the flowers falling off and your hair coming undone. you stood up, wincing at the dull throbbing in your head, your vision going blurry for a moment — curse your anaemia for acting up now of all times.

you crazy hag! i can't believe you fucking stabbed me!

okay, now that was just straight-up disrespectful.

hag?

oh, so the insane bride-killing ghost that died at sixteen years ago, even before you were born, wasn't the hag — but you were? you were the hag? where the hell was the justice in that, huh?

you roll your eyes and sigh. no, you shouldn't be swayed by your short temper, you shouldn't let the spirit find an opening to attack you. remember — you had to finish the job before the night ended and the spirit got away.

you walk towards the girl in large strides, arms raised above your head, ready to strike her down with the purification sword. you didn't want to think about how much worse it could get if a spirit that didn't know how strong it was found out about its strength. not leaving a trace of their presence after such a gruesome act? you shudder from the thought.

the girl begins to cry.

you tell yourself that this was all an act, but it was hard to convince yourself. especially when the spirit had curled herself into a ball, shaking in fear, her eyes peeking out from her arms to look at you like a scared little girl.

your movements falter.

that was a mistake.

a hazy, clawed hand unfurls from behind her and reached out to slash at your chest, right where your heart lay. you stagger backwards, the cut had been deep enough to have you cough up blood. as your open wounds stained your already red dress darker, the shadow lingered at your feet, seemingly trying to collect your blood.

you tried to move back but you weren't fast enough.

the girl lunges at you again, but this time, her spirit went straight for your core, in a final attempt to possess your body and finish you off, probably.

as you fought to stay conscious amidst the myriad of voices assaulting your mind, you think back to something your master told you in passing when you were still in training.

something about spirits and their last will?

silly girl, every spirit has a last will. and not everyone knows what to do with that will. their grief takes the form of vengeance and i can only hope you know what to do when you ever come across a restless soul like that.

═══════════════

you wake up facing a young village girl.

gasping, you stumble backwards and hit a hard surface. but, it was weird. well more accurately, it felt weird. you were sure you were in a wooden house, so the walls would be rougher, so why did it feel fuzzy?

wait. the girl didn't seem to see you.

you walk cautiously around her, looking at her features carefully. her skin was tan from the time she spent under the sun, it was a little uneven and spotty in some areas. she was just a teenager, and that was kind of expected. you follow her gaze and see that she had been looking at herself in the mirror.

you wave your hand in front of her eyes to get a reaction out of her. she didn't seem to notice.

you blew air to see if she would hear it, but not even a single strand of her hair budged.

defeated, you try to swing your arm and slap her back — only for your whole arm to phase through her body.

ah?

your mouth hung open in shock. your whole arm went through a person, have you truly died and become a spirit?

no. that wasn't it. you reason with yourself.

this was the ghost's doing, and she wasn't here with you right now. this scene unfolding before your eyes, could they be a clue on her, or were they a distraction to fool you?

a horse whinnies on the road outside the girl's window. a barrow wheel squeaks as it turns, the horse's feet clipping noisily on the pavement. you peek past the wooden panes, eyeing the passing residents. their clothes were all plain and coloured in dull or muted tones. the texture looked rough. this wasn't a well-off part of town.

you look at the village girl. her hair was slicked back and tied into a low bun. her clothes were a little worn and a little dirty at the hems. her hands and feet calloused from the years of hard labour.

小燕！

the voice of an older woman calls from another part of the house, wiping her hands on her apron, the girl fixed her appearance one last time before she scurries towards the direction of the voice, while you stayed behind in the room

xiao-yan? as in little sparrow?

my name is actually 春燕 (chūn yàn). my mother just likes to call me xiao-yan at home.

the ghost had been standing next to you, her voice still edged on hostility but was softer now, nonetheless.

your mother?

the person calling to me.

the ghost walks out of the room as you trailed behind, looking past to see the old woman sitting on a chair by the doorway. needle and thread in hand, patching at tattered clothes. her crows' feet settling deeply on her features.

my xiao-yan ah... please be careful on your way out... come home before dark okay? don't make me worry okay?

you worry too much ma.

the village girl, or rather, the human incarnation of the spirit next you chirped as she made her way out the door. you wondered what the spirit was trying to show you, was this her life story before she crossed the bridge into death?

you kept your mouth shut, not wanting to ask more questions. the spirit continued to narrate.

i forgot everything about my time alive, except for this one day.

a sigh.

everything went wrong all in this one day.

═══════════════

you blink your eyes slowly, now walking alongside the village girl and the spirit. to your left you could see the sprawling acres of farmland and the town bustling with life below. looking ahead and past the hanging branches stood a towering gate.

no one had to tell you that this was where the lord's family lived.

the girl was led to the main hall where the lord and lady of the house resided. you and the spirit followed closely behind, passing through the countless maids and attendants working around the compound, it was fascinating seeing how no one could see or sense either of you. two beings who were not a product of this era, your bloody clothes and the ghost's tattered ones, you both stood out like sore thumbs.

it was silent. muted, almost, in the main hall. the lord and lady sat side by side as their son stood by his mother, his hand resting reassuringly on her shoulder.

do you know why we have called you here today?

the lord asks, gravely.

no, my lord.

the village girl shakes her head, confusion swirling in her eyes, as she sat on the ground, kneeling before the family.

the lady grows agitated, she leans forward in her chair, opening her mouth to spew a tirade of grievances when the young master of the house gently pushes his mother to lean back in her chair.

let me, dear mother.

the village girl feels her heart race from his smooth and velvety voice. she'd only ever heard about the young master through rumours and quick glimpses through the crowd, so to be this close to him, the other girls from the village would be shaking in envy. she quietly notes that he was much more stunning up close — she must be really lucky today.

perhaps she had been staring for too long because the young man had cleared his throat awkwardly.

miss, i assume you must have heard about my older brother?

she nods, remembering the procession from earlier that year.

yes, may the first young master rest in peace.

the room grows silent to pay their respects to the deceased.

the young man spoke up again.

we are worried for my brother in the afterlife. he died without ever getting wed. we don't really want him to be made fun of by other spirits in the afterlife you know?

the village girl grows confused. she wasn't sure what he was getting at. what has the marital status of a dead man have to do with her?

the fortune teller we consulted has calculated that you are the best marriage candidate for my oldest son. so we want you to get married to him as soon as possible. by tonight if time permits.

with her voice shrill from agitation, the lady of the house sits up, fist shaking in the village girl's face, unable to contain her anger at the young girl's supposed stupidity.

the village girl on the other hand, felt her jaw go slack, she tried not to let it hang open from the shock of her lady's words.

marriage? to a dead man?

she's heard of horror stories of young brides being buried together with their deceased husbands whom they had married before his life expired. but those were supposed to be just stories! not an actual practice... right?

miss, i don't know what you might be thinking. but i assure you that this marriage will not be as morbid as it sounds. take it as any other marriage ceremony, except without the groom. you just have to sign papers and be my brother's bride on official documents! after that, you and your family will be rewarded handsomely for the trouble. this won't take over a day!

sensing the village girl's worrying silence, the young master interjects quickly, wringing his hands trying to close this deal as soon as he can. the faster their family gets this done and over with, the faster his life can continue from this standstill. his thinking was truly like a businessman's.

hearing that her little contribution would be compensated generously, she didn't think twice before agreeing to the suspicious deal. if it was like that then, when she goes home with the money, her mother wouldn't have to work anymore.

well, if that's the case, let's start the preparations now. the faster we get this done, the faster we can all go on with our lives.

the lord finally spoke up and with a clap of his hands, the room was filled with attendants, most of them surrounding the confused village girl. helping her to her feet in hushed tones, taking her away to presumably prepare for the ceremony that night.

the spirit follows the crowd and you hesitate following behind. the whole exchange felt off to you. surely, if you stayed here the family might let something slip, something that would prove your suspicions.

though you didn't have much choice in this matter. the features of the people in the room began to melt and drip, the scene morphing rapidly to the next part of the spirit's memory.

that's right, you had forgotten again. everything you saw was from the spirit's perspective. anything else beyond that was all up to one's imagination. was there really nothing you could do?

you hated this feeling.

this feeling of knowing something is going to go wrong, yet being so powerless to stop it from happening.

═══════════════

imagine having to sit in a tight space with a spirit, and a memory fragment who doesn't know you and the spirit exists. there was only that much space in the palanquin, and your knees touched the spirit's even when you were hugging them to your chest.

sorry about the space...

you try to start a conversation. but the other just wasn't interested, opting to stare at the image of herself — the village girl sitting across the both of you in this tiny palanquin. you look around the boxed space, noting the shoddy workmanship. looks like those nobles were really in a rush to get this done and over with.

the wind picks up and the curtains flutter upwards.

the night scenery was beautiful but—

this isn't the way to the lord's house?

the village girl mutters. and you had begun to think the same. sitting up with your senses heightened, you try to make out where the attendants were taking the girl. the spirit continued to remain unfazed.

something bad was about to happen. wasn't it?

the movements stopped abruptly, and you felt the palanquin being set down on the ground. the curtain slides open, a slender hand reaches out to guide the village girl sitting inside.

don't take his hand...

you try to tell the girl, you didn't like the heavy smell of incense and dirt surrounding the area. but of course, you were nothing more than a spectator to this whole ordeal.

you watch on helplessly next to the spirit as two footmen threw the village girl into the freshly dug-up pit. the fortune teller circles the pit, tossing water into the hole as she chants mantras of matrimony. all while the village girl calls for help, begging tearfully for mercy and her life. the overwhelming feelings of her fear washing over you again and again, knocking the air out of your lungs at each crashing wave, your heart squeezing tightly in your chest.

it seemed as though this just wouldn't end, as you watched the dirt fill up the hole and the poor girl's voice grow tired and hoarse, the pain grew from your heart to the tips of your fingers and dropped down to your stomach, swinging up and down like a pendulum continuously, making you even more nauseous than you already were.

but finally.

finally, the ordeal stopped. the sensations you felt lifting and leaving your body in a heated mass. everyone stayed silent at that moment, letting the sins of what had occurred sink into them. no one spoke, no one dared breathe a sound under the moonlight, lest the spirit of the village girl heard them.

there was shuffling and low greetings of reverence left the people's lips as they all stepped aside for a hunched-over man in heavy white robes to make his way to the edge of the covered-up pit. you could tell from where you were knelt over in pain that he was an exorcist similar to you.

he mummers prayers and covers the ground in talismans written in red ink, bells shaking with each step he took. binding chains reaching up from the scattered talismans to wrap around the spirit taking shape above them. poor girl, even in death, she wasn't allowed to rest in peace.

═══════════════

you blink, wincing at the bright sun shining into your eyes.

the spirit stands next to you, chains holding her down on the ground. you didn't have to look to see that you were both above her grave.

i was so stupid, believing all those lies. my mother collapsed when she heard about what happened to me. she couldn't pay for the house and she eventually died in an alley without anyone finding her corpse until days later when rats had already gotten to her. maybe if they had given her that money they promised to me, i wouldn't have been as angry about dying like this.

the spirit clenched her fists, teeth gnashing together in rage.

as if burying me alive wasn't enough, they called a fucking exorcist to cleanse this area, all because they were scared i would come and bite back at them for doing this to me.

the spirit's voice grows more irritated.

it's not fair! it's not fair! why do they get to die and move on to the afterlife? why did they get to continue to live their lives like my blood isn't on their hands? why did they get to have a happy marriage, a healthy baby watch their children and their children's children grow up to have their own families like my life was just... was just...

the spirit, no — chun-yan, began to cry, her back heaving as her sorrowful wails pierced your heart. she was just a girl. she was just a little girl barely on the cusp of adulthood. how could anyone be this cruel to her? how could the heavens let this happen?

you reach out to hold her in your arms, letting her cry her dead little heart out.

you wished things could be better for her. you truly did, however, what about all the innocent lives she had taken in vengeance? she still has to atone for that action.

it was abit of a shot in the dark, she didn't tell you nor did her memories reveal anything to you. but to free her spirit, you had to fulfil a wish of hers, this was the one and only shot that you had with this. if you got it wrong, you might have to go through a harsher method of exorcism. you hoped it wouldn't go to that stage.

yan-ah.

the girl sniffles.

chun-yan.

hm?

she asks you her eyes watery and tired.

is this the wish you had while you were dying?

you ask, throwing over the red veil slightly tattered at the edges, somehow still in your possession. you smooth the crinkles over the girl's head like an older sister would on her younger sister's big day.

═══════════════

the memory was collapsing.

you look around the dark space around you, taking a while to register that you were back in the bedroom where this whole thing first began. you lean back with a sigh, your head was starting to spin, you were sure that by tomorrow, you would be down with a fever.

chun-yan stood up, making her way to the vanity with a mirror at the other end of the room. she looks at herself for a long time in the mirror. a strong gust of wind blows through the open windows, toppling the remaining standing furniture. the curtains billowed in the currents, hiding chun-yan behind them.

your worries subsided when the winds died down and brought down the curtains with them, revealing chun-yan now dressed in proper wedding attire. a clean and crisp red veil, a long and thick wedding dress made of red silk with golden decorations embroidered into the fabric. the girl's hair was done up in two half buns with fresh peonies and flower buds woven into the thick tresses.

you bite back from making any noise. your heart swelled with a bittersweet feeling. you wished chun-yan's mother, the little old lady who you've only caught a glimpse of, could see her beloved daughter like this too. you rub your nose, sniffling.

...it suits you well.

chun-yan looks longingly at the moon, and then turns her gaze towards you. fidgeting, she asks quietly.

am i going to hell now?

yeah. you are.

your shoulders drop and you look at her sadly. you wished you could give her good news. you wished the world to be more fair, but you weren't god. you were merely someone who built bridges for spirits to cross over to the afterlife, in the end.

because i killed all those people... right?

you nod.

is it going to be scary?

probably.

chun-yan fiddles with her thumbs, picking on her nails.

mother always told me that bad people go to hell. and i became a bad person that's why i'm going there... right?

chun-yan... listen.

you ponder for a moment, you didn't really want to send her off with this heavy feeling.

sometimes, good people also go to hell. and it's because these good people made a mistake... and then another... and then another without stopping or thinking about stopping. and when they realise that they have been doing all these terrible things, they feel bad and if they are willing to atone, i think they should be allowed that chance to change...

you pause.

chun-yan... remember that you are going to hell to repent for the lives you have taken wrongfully. it's not because you were always meant to go there... i think. i hope that's not the case.

what did you want to say, what were you trying to say?

you weren't sure but, you wanted to ease the girl's burden a little.

hm.

chun-yan hummed. taking in your words. it seemed like she had understood something you hadn't. but whatever it was, it must have comforted her.

she stood still, flames growing at her feet. she didn't move or wince from them, letting it grow bigger and engulf her in it. as she disappeared along with the hellfire, she gave you a nod, perhaps as thanks for keeping her memories in your heart. you bow your head in reply, keeping it down until the crackle of the blaze grew quiet.

═══════════════

chief!

good god, who was it yelling so loudly in the morning?

chiiiieeeeffff!

heavens, were they crying? why are they crying like you were dead?

chief... don't die...

even your calm and collected vice-captain? now what was going on?

you try to sit up. emphasis on try, because for some reason you had been swaddled in layers upon layers of bandages. the smell of herbs crushed and rubbed onto your wounds and bruises was overpowering. to put it lightly.

ugh. what's going on.

chief!

the chief is awake!

you're still alive... huhuhuuuuuuu...

a chorus of ecstatic shouting and sobs was heard across the crowd gathered around you. judging by the voices, your best guess was that everyone there was the kids in your unit. seeing how happy they were, you must have passed out after the events of last night. truthfully, you barely remembered stumbling past the doors of the bedroom and into the vice-captain's arms.

all's well, ends well.

now, if the emperor would be so kind to give you a month—

no. a year, off work... you think you would be his biggest supporter. hell, you might even work for free.

but that aside, you think there might just be something you were forgetting right now.

═══════════════

baek cheon had volunteered to keep watch for that night. he barely slept since he came across you in that wedding attire. he was trying not to cry, but he's sure the junior brother sleeping across him must have heard him tossing and turning and borderline sobbing.

it was a little embarrassing to face everyone in the morning with his eyes puffy and face swollen. thank god chung myung wasn't with them this time, or baek cheon would have never heard the end of it.

he sits on a rock further away from where everyone else had set up camp. they were next to a stream, the sloshing of the water and the cackle of the firewood breaking apart soothed his senses. he thinks back to the times he had spent with you when the moon hung high in the sky just like this.

he sighs, leaning back against a tree with arms crossed — his fingers gripping his sleeves as he thinks again about the encounter with you the other night. you looked so pretty in a wedding dress, was he being too delusional when he dreamt about a future where you were wearing that for your marriage to him?

he sulks by himself, feeling jealous of the person he made up in his head, the person that he was sure you were going off to get married to.

he thinks the guy would be a little closer to your height, so that it made sharing kisses easier. the guy might have nicer hair, fluffier and maybe a little matted so you'd have a reason to run your fingers through it. your husband-to-be might have a more childish personality, much like yours so that the both of you would be on the same wavelength. he thinks the guy might also be mature enough, like you were so that you and him would ground each other. the other guy might have nicer skin that was soft and smooth and unblemished. his eyes would be fierce but gentle all at once, the shape of his eyebrows would be thick in a single stroke...

he realised the image of the guy was looking a little too much like chung myung.

tsk. that's no good, he was starting to get even more pissed off and upset.

cheon-ah!

this was no good. he was starting to hear things because of how much he missed you.

cheon-ah!

how was it that he could replicate the sound of your voice in his mind? truly, the yearning of a man in love was so fascinating.

cheon-ah!

baek cheon wonders if he was going crazy for thinking the voice was growing closer to him. poor guy didn't even get the chance to look over before he felt the full weight of somebody colliding with him. his arms instinctively wrapped around the other's waist, his body recognising that it was you faster than his mind would.

you're here?

he asks, bewildered.

baek cheon couldn't wrap his head around how you got to him so quickly. did you really abandon your husband-to-be at the altar like that? for him?

listen to me baek cheon.

the man nods mindlessly, revelling in the warmth of your being so close to his — he was barely listening, let alone registering what you were saying right now.

maybe he should steal in a kiss.

his hand find its way to the back of your head, pushing you down to have your lips meet his. whatever you had been rattling on about died in your throat, muffled sounds of shock morphed into soft sighs. you pull away, moving to sit more comfortably on his lap, legs swinging on either side, straddling him.

holding back a laugh, your arms circle around him, pulling him closer. he hadn't heard a thing you said from having his head up in his own clouds. what were you going to do with this man?

cheon-ah... did you hear what i was saying?

you ask, peppering kisses on his cheek, brushing his hair out of his eyes. baek cheon shakes his head, still very much starstruck.

tsk, tsk...

you tut disapprovingly, pinching his nose, breaking him out of whatever fantasy he was deep into. he looks at you, wide-eyed and a little offended by your gesture. he sulks when he meets your unimpressed stare.

i'm sorry... i'll listen well this time...

he whines quietly. not wanting to lose you to some other man again.

the other night, when you saw me in the wedding dress... it was for an assignment... you ran off before i could tell you about it... my poor baek cheon, tell me you didn't lose sleep over that?

his eyes widen.

an assignment? so... you weren't getting married for real?

the melancholy settling in his bones lifted instantly, his gloomy expression brightened, and his eyes started to sparkle. he didn't care about acting borderline pathetic these past few hours, you weren't getting married to someone else! and that was all that mattered to him right now.

what's going on in that pretty head of yours?

nothing... i... i'm just so happy that i still have a chance...

he mutters the last part of the sentence, hoping that you wouldn't hear it. but you did, of course you did. he can't have let the nature of your occupation slip from his mind now, has he? your squeal of excitement reached his ears, barely registering the flurry of kisses you were raining down all over his face.

cheon-ah! you like me enough to want to marry me? ah! my lovely baek cheon, hehehehe...

you were acting a little strange, he noted. were you ever this affectionate? what's going on?

he catches a whiff of the herbs slathered under your bandages, your forehead brushing past his cheek felt hot in the feverish sense. one closer look at you and he could see your eyes glossing over along with the sniffling you had been trying to hide.

no way... was the great inspector... sick?

you whine, throwing your head back as baek cheon desperately tries to catch you from falling head-first on the rocks. your temperature was rising and your head had begun to spin. no wonder it did, after all, you did run out of the room you were to carry out your bedrest in — without any food in your stomach or any breaks from what happened with the exorcism last night.

you just knew you had to clear things up with baek cheon, the feeling of leaving the misunderstandings in the air, weighing at the back of your mind consistently.

ugh. it was embarrassing to have him see you in this out-of-character state. maybe when you got better, you will have to meet up with him again to talk about your relationship more seriously.

for now though, you just needed him to know how much you liked him back. and that you weren't going to get married to someone else anytime soon.

baek cheon though?

he's going to have to worry about how to explain why you were here to his martial brothers, and also bring you back to your unit somehow. but that was none of your concern, was it? you were already knocked out from the fever catching up to your body.

#enihkwrites #return of the mount hua sect #return of the blossoming blade #return of mount hua #baek cheon #baek chun #rotbb #rotmhs #baek cheon x reader #baek chun x reader #return of the blossoming blade x reader #return of the mount hua sect x reader #3rd ish last fic #im clearing out the hwasan ones i have because i drafted 2 for another webtoon lol.... my hyperfixations move fast #i saw an artist call baek cheon the neighborhood idiot #havent stopped thinking about it since #my beloved #my ideal man is a stupid himbo with nothing going on up there just vibes and prayers and yearning #ugh the end is so sappy i had to take breaks to throw up

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owen-not-carvour · 1 year ago

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OK LONG POST HERE WE GO!!!

i had the absolute privilege of seeing WVU/metropolitan theater ride the cyclone not once, but twice this week (opening and closing nights!!)

and lemme tell ya it was AMAZING. definitely one of my favorite casts/productions i’ve seen. so here’s the thoughts:

number one: it was overall very similar to 2016 original cast!! many of the actions were played very similarly to that one,, but it was also very different. bc script changes (i still miss ricky conceding, love conquers all and oceans line about not knowing/caring abt people in life and regretting it though) but also bc there were puppets. more on that later lol

-the set was AMAZING, here’s a picture i took from today before it started

i just love looking at this.

and going off of that. fuckin look at karnak!!!!! he’s so cool! reminds me of a muppet in the best way lol

-i also swore that virgil was wearing an ‘in case i make it’ by will wood shirt. i don’t actually think he was for a few reasons lol but i do think it was a very similar design fghgfd

-i love the uranium suite choreo so much. ocean put SO MUCH into those little scoop thingys fhsjhd but whenever they Died,, the round and round part,, the choreo looked more like the choreo from way back during waiting for the drop and i LOVE THAT. i miss that song a lot too.

-THEY ALSO DID THE WOO!! BEFORE THE END AND I LOVE THAT TOO!!!!!

-the layout of the coaster was cool: it was

ocean mischa

constance ricky

noel

which i thought was a great was to show their personalities over their friendships sort of :)

OK,, JANE DOE: i love her design in this one. she had pink ribbons on her pigtails and big ole eyelashes and i LOVE HER.

-she also had a comb for her dolly and used it to stab it while she was talking abt the lion thing. it was really funny fhsjhd

-her way of talking was also really cool. she broke off the sentences in different places than what i’ve heard before and just kind of had more of a sort of curious and clueless way about her. it was like “and so. i walk alone and wonder. why?” and just. her <3333 she was so good.

-during oceans little monologue (her speech) before what the world needs,, jane also put her head on constance’s shoulder and just. amazing. it was so funny she’s so sweet fhsjhd

-during the new birthday song (or. after it while they’re all talking) she was also super cute.. like played around w her party hat and ricky’s little xylophone thing he was playing for the song. i just think she’s great fhsjdh

ok back to The Rest,,

-seeing the upop bits was hilarious. like i’ve read them and seen a few performances of it,, but seeing it live was so good fhjshd also constance’s costume had such cute details!! she had rainbow details on her shoes and a couple enamel pins on her pinafore!

-constance and ocean also did their little handshake thing as part of their dance during its just a ride and that made me almost cry too fhsjdh

-they added “prestigious university” into oceans list of Reasons She’s The Best or whatever. it’s funny bc wvu is Not At All That lol hdjshdjs (edit: finally reread the new script and Yes that’s in there but it is still Really funny lol)

-ok what the world needs was so funny. love love love ocean (she’s the worst!!) but this one was like. manic abt it in the best way. her riff at the end was hilarious too. a lot of “ooooh i’m better than youuuu and youuuu and allllll of youuuohooooohohohooooo” it was great. also the turntable was super cool in this show bc it was like a mini stage which helped w levels and stuff too! (another note abt this ocean, she definitely made her own choices but she also rlly reminded me of tiffany which was fun!!)

-this noel was. SO gay. they all are. but This One. GODDAMN!! he was awesome. he did the intro monologue in a much more dramatic way than khobly (still referencing my 2016 thoughts) ..like kholbys version was kinda done like. noel was slightly embarrassed not abt who he was but like,, more so circumstancial stuff if that makes sense? he got excited abt the whole missing teeth thing and all, right. (just to give a reference on how these noels are different!!) this noel was drawn out dramatic through the wholeeeee thing. he was amazing.

-the taco bell picture comes up and mischa’s like hahahhaa the Fuck lol and noel starts like pouting. “what is That” “i was hoping you could tell me” “NO!!☹️” bro sounded like he was bout to cry dhshdh he was so good

-OK THE QUICK CHANGE!! y’all know how he kinda strips in 2016 and Other versions? NOPE THIS ONE WAS ALLLL TEARAWAY!! it happened so fast,, he was like FINE *RIP* and BOOM lingerie. it was incredible. he also wore on of those long fluffy flowy “i just killed my husband for the money” robes. y’all he looked so good

-today was especially great. noel’s lament was insane. i have literally never heard a louder audience for anything. every time he’d do anything people would scream (bc he was fucking killing it) and when he went down to “die” the first time. he just kinda sat and did the little wave to get people to make more noise. it was amazing. i wish i could’ve fuckin videod or some shit bc it was soooo good.

-mischa. mischa bachinski. this guy was perfect for him (i am so sorry i don’t know the actors names by the way). tbh i love when mischa’s short. and bouncy. his rage was a lot of jumping and punching air and just. i loved that for him. TSIA was hilarious as usual, it always is. i really liked how they Made a jet with their arms on that line,,, but TALIA. she was actually an actress on stage and they did the whole dance together and then she ran away on the last OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH and it was SO good wtf. talia Always gets me so this was so exception for sure.

-this entire cast is definitely one of my favorites for sure. but tHIS RICKY IS BY FAR MY FAVORITE ONE EVER. he was incredible y’all. like they all were but. ricky. his choices like. landed SO perfectly every time. “i’m tellin’ you right now, monkeylovedrop! :)” SHIT WAS AMAZING (not to mention i didn’t know abt ricky’s new background in the script so that was also fucking hilarious.)

-not to mention the way he did the very end section of the song the way alex did,, like melody wise?? i LOVE THAT (i just like hearing it that way more lol) so that made me super happy.

-oh and remember how i said there were puppets? i fuckin WISH i could’ve taken a picture of it. the zolarians were cat puppets that came out from the alcoves on the sides of the stage and they were fuckin NEON BLUE AND GREEN with holographic details. no one was ready for that but it was PERFECT DFGHJGFGH

-also the actual sabm costume??? he was glittery and neon and flared pants and heeled boots and neon green cat ears and he LOOKED SO MF GOOD HAHAHAHA

-the energy of the whole fucking show was so amazing. especially today (closing performance). people were cheering through the whole damn thing it was perfect.

-TBOJD: the way she said MY TURN!!! was so cute. it was like !! MY TURNNNN !! all excited and drawn out a little. good for her.

—but mainly. there were 2 things happening here. 1) the actress was AMAZING. i think she also may be one of my favorite janes ever. she did this Thing with her hands at one point,, and i can’t really describe it,, but it was like she was just trying to make sure she could still Feel. and it was rlly cool. 2) MORE PUPPETS!?!?!?! this time it was when the music kicked up,,, the rest of the choir was doing their own sick choreo but there were also uhhh big ass worms among them too. they were actually pretty cool.. big teeth and the way they moved was really fun to watch but it did feel a touch overcrowded at times 🙃

-THE OTHER THING WAS THE FLIGHT!!!!! SHE STILL FLEW!! she didn’t go upside down or spin but the fact she went up as high as she did (like above the spinny thing on the stage part of the set) was incredible. and yes ofc she absolutely MURDERED THOSE HIGH NOTES IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. i was mentally taking notes on her techniques the entire time fhsjhd (fun fact,, after the song today when i cheered/screamed for my applause i did in fact hit the note dhjshd it was a surprisingly supported one too lol)

-sugar cloud: JANE STARTED THE CHOREO AND THEN THEY ALL DID IT AFTER HER <33333 i will always love how sugar cloud is just Them uninhibited. it’s so good that way. this constance was also SO good with the way she did the monologue too. there were a few strong hints of regret but overall it was just Acceptance and moving forward and just hnnnnnnn she was wonderful.

-AND THEN THERE WERE MORE PUPPETS!!!! legit just little blobs of color that danced a little bit too. very cute, very constance fhsjhd my friend said the orange one was her favorite character and stole the show even lol. they were very expressive hfjdh

-there were a LOT of points where the audience were clapping along too and it made me sooooo happy. there was a part in noel’s lament, talia, and sugar cloud and just <333

-another few points that i saw throughout the show,, noel and constance besties. they were always hangin around each other.. same w mischa and constance. she’d make her quips against ocean and mischa’d be like YEAAHHHHHHH!! legit heard constance go-after the upop drugs bit- “yeah! you liked that one!! i’d been working on it for a bit!” <333

-really maybe just noel besties with everyone bc he also gave jane like. a Good hug before she left.. <33

-last thing that had me Dying,, noel also went up to ocean and put his hand on her shoulder and stood real close to her after she made her final vote. and ocean looked at him and leaned into it. and just. the growth from them both for that <3333 they’re so special to me.

-legit i think the only remote criticism i have is that it’s just a ride went SO FUCKING FAST???? like i don’t think y’all are taking enough of a look around at that speed lol.. it just wasn’t enough time to rlly enjoy how good that song is yknow.

overall wvu rtc completely blew me away and i desperately hope SOMEONE has a slime tutorial of it because GODDAMN THAT VERSION WAS GOOD!!! i need more ppl to talk abt it dhjshdj

#ok any parts where i say Today i meant sunday.. it just took awhile to organize all my thoughts lol #this production was so good i need more people to talk about it #sorry this is so long too #i just realllky had a lot of thoughts abt it and I Love It #wvu ride the cyclone #metropolitan theater ride the cyclone #rtc #ride the cyclone #jane doe rtc #constance blackwood #ocean o’connell rosenberg #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #ricky potts

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alexanderflowerbird · 9 days ago

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DAY 18

So, I took today off because this weekend was A LOT lol, had many emotions, highs and lows and manual labor, but I am glad to say that today rejuvenated me quite a lot. I spent much of it just relaxing, but I dedicated a few hours to another gas up call with one of the other creators in my writing group, and you know? I think this should be a fixture in writing groups. I know that this is the case in in person writing groups, that each week someone's work gets critiqued and talked about by the whole group, but in online groups it seems like a less common tradition to agree that a couple of us are gonna get together and just support and talk and analyze one person's work, allowing them to view their project from new angles, explore new opportunities and of course, feel supported and cared for while they create. I am looking forward to my gas up call one day hehe. I did get some writing done today, a whole 1612 words, and I was able to drop another scene into the Blood Sun Territory master doc. I'm looking forward to when I have utilized all the scenes I've written separately, and I suspect that I will still be writing scenes all by themselves as I go to get the broad gestures and phrases and moments out of my brain while they're at their brightest. Despite how many spoons I spent this weekend, I feel very good. Tired, but good. Loved and valued and supported and like I'm doing a good job of being loving and valuable and supportive in other people's lives too. Excerpt today is another Blood Sun Territory one for you, in which Malachi meets another nice lady [he seems to run into nice ladies everywhere he goes, this guy] and is reunited with his friend Esteban, who is Felina's brother.

Taglist: @theskeletonprior @thelittlestspider @tragedycoded @badscientist If you'd like to be added to my taglist, please interact with this post. Oh! I meant to ask as well, is it preferable that I cut off my journal entries with the excerpt after a 'keep reading' block? Or should I just let the whole post go exposed? I dunno, I guess I thought having it separated would be considerate to people's feeds, but I think it also makes it where no one but my tag list ever sees my work lol. Let me know what you think in the comments, like and subscribe lol

Malachi is relieved to discover that the bar is in its way, nostalgic. It’s not one of the places he and Esteban and their friends used to know, but it has the same air to it. He can smell the cigarette smoke from outside and within there’s metal music being played, muffled by the sounds of people talking and the sharp, unique clanking and thudding of pool balls. He slides into a booth to wait, and a waitress comes to him with a sweet, playful smile, and tiny jean shorts that cap off fishnetted legs that seem to go for miles. She’s got a Metallica shirt on that’s cut open on the sides and lips that are a perfect cupid’s bow of matte black. She’s very pretty, and she smiles more when Malachi’s face says so.

“Get you anything?” She asks.

“Not just now, thanks, I’m waiting for a friend.” Malachi answers, smiling a little at her. He feels almost shy for some reason. It’s been years and years without make up and fashion and the youthful self expression of women. He’d of course seen plenty of pin up art and tastefully nude double spreads being in prison with men who were predominantly heterosexual and ravenously longing for their lovers outside but there’s something different in being in person with a woman who’s carefully, meaningfully curated her look for the day. She’s decided on grunge and fishnets and dark makeup that makes her pale eyes pop, and it is enthralling. “Ah- actually.” He says just as she is about to leave him, and she turns, her dark hair swishing, catching up the neon red lights of glowing logos near his table. “Could you do me a favor?”

She leans her hip against the table after squinting at him. She must think he’s about to try some suave move on her and for whatever reason, she’s willing to let him swing and miss. He hates to disappoint her, she is beautiful.

“Do you have a cigarette?” She chuckles at him.

“Sure, you know you can buy packs at the bar.” She points across the way.

“Oh, that’s good to know. I’m honestly not sure if a pack is a good thing for me to have yet. Just one cigarette will be alright, just to see how I feel about it.” Malachi says, half joking. He smoked a little in prison, but cigarettes were like gold, and more often than not, smoking one was a communal effort rather than something savored alone. If he wasn’t passing a smoke around with at least three other men, he was being selfish, and he’d tried his best not to be selfish. The waitress sighs at him, but she reaches into her back pocket and produces a pack of cigarettes that is black, silver and green. She offers one over to him and he thanks her quietly, squinting at the cigarette because it’s different, not the classic, white on orange cowboy killer he’s known for so many years.

“Pinch the filter if you like it menthol.” She instructs, demonstrating with her own cigarette. He’s willing to try it out, so he squeezes the filter and feels a soft pop under the pressure of his fingertips. She offers him her lighter and he looks at that too. Apparently, based on the starry sky and galaxy clouds on it, she’s a scorpio and proud enough of it to have her lighter announce it in swirling white letters and an astronomically accurate image of the constellation. He lights the cigarette and breathes in the smoke. It is heavenly, a little minty, he never bothered with menthols before prison but now he sees the appeal. He offers the waitress her lighter back.

“Thanks…?” She smiles again, her perfect, pitch black lips dimpling her cheeks.

“Veronica.” She offers and holds out her hand for him. He shakes her hand. “Malachi.” He introduces, even though he probably won’t ever see her again. If he were younger, if he hadn’t messed up his life, he might like it to be friends with her. He can’t make new friends in the city, he has no idea where he’s headed, but he’s polite anyway.

“You just let me know if you need anything, alright, Malachi? I’ll be around. Your friend a girl?” She asks.

“No, just an old friend.” He says with a shrug, taking another drag.

“You like girls?” Malachi chokes a little and coughs. Veronica laughs at him.

“Ah, no. Sorry.” He admits cautiously. “You’re very pretty though.”

“I know I am.” Veronica confirms, unoffended and amused. “Just thought I’d check. You’re pretty too.” She must knock men who like women right off their feet with her confidence. He smiles at her compliment.

“Thanks.” He says shyly. She pats his shoulder, squeezes it once, and wanders off to see to other tables. He tries to take his time with the cigarette, but once it’s gone, he only manages to resist the urge to get a pack for all of five minutes before getting up to go to the bar and request the same sort that Veronica had graciously introduced him to. He checks the time, the tvs in the bar playing a football game, the nightly news and some sort of game show Malachi is only momentarily interested in because game shows had been a highlight of entertainment when he’d been in prison. TV time was dedicated to old movies, documentaries and tv game shows. It’s 7:54PM, which means he can expect Esteban, if he’s still how he’s always been, to show up not at their agreed time of 8, but at perhaps 8:15, maybe even 8:20 if he’s had to go back into his house two times to get his wallet and his jacket. Malachi can’t help but smile to imagine it… it’s raining now outside, but Esteban was the sort of guy that would think he’s tough enough to just be out in the rain, getting drenched and being stoic about it, only to realize it’s cold and unpleasant and scurry back in for a coat and a hat.

The time passes, and pleasantly, predictably, Esteban comes into the bar damp from the outside at 8:12, earlier than anticipated but still late. When he sees Malachi, he smiles and comes with a jaunt that Malachi recognizes, getting up and opening his arms as Esteban comes in close and pulls him into a firm, tight hug.

“Wassup, man? Long time no see.” Esteban says, and then he laughs awkwardly– this is a habitual statement, Malachi knows, and it is funny so he laughs as well. Long time no see, no kidding.

“Thanks for coming out to meet me, Esteban.” He says, patting his friend’s back before pulling back.

“You look alright,” Esteban says, patting his arms. “Skinny.” He teases, and they both laugh again. “You eat? They got nachos here, man. Let’s get nachos, I got it. You don’t worry about it.” Esteban waves to Veronica and she smiles at him with a familiarity that tells Malachi that the old haunts have been replaced with this one and Esteban must be a regular here.

“Nachos and Meisters?” Veronica asks and Esteban grins approvingly at her.

“Nachos and Meisters, a pitcher, actually. Thanks Ronnie.” He says, sitting down in the booth. Malachi takes a seat again with a sigh and leans his elbows on the table.

“So what’s new?” There’s likely a lot to cover, ten years between the last time they spoke and now. Esteban had stayed in touch for all of six months before he fell off, but Malachi won’t bring it up. He’s not here to give Esteban grief about his absence, they’re still friends and he needs his help.

“Lots, man, lots. I opened another shop with Tissa, got a few of the boys trained up, ya know, Rosco and Earnie, they got ladies now and wanted somethin’ stable so I got them on, some new guys, well, new to you, ya know. Maritza says hello, also, she asked to come out to see ya but I told her it’s boys’ night. We got a place just outside the city, quieter and the kids go to a nice school. The traffic was shit comin’ out, and I walked out the house without my wallet, then Maritza said it was rainin’ so she got my jacket, ya know, dragging ass out of the house always.” He laughs, shaking his head. Veronica brings them beer glasses and a pitcher and he takes a moment to pour for both of them and have a sip of his. Malachi takes a sip too, carefully because after so long without alcohol and nothing but half an orange in his stomach, a single beer might put him on his ass.

“Sounds nice. Still two girls?” Malachi asks and based on how Esteban beams at him, he suspects the number has grown before Esteban confirms it.

“Three. Maritza had Calliope last year, she’s eight months now, smilin’ and laughin’ and sayin’ dada. It’s just as fun as the last two times, but I tell ya, I got baby crazy for a minute there and told Mari maybe we do four? She punched me in the chest and got her tubes tied. It’s fair, it’s fair, three’s plenty.” Esteban says with a chuckle, shaking his head.

“Yeah, three’s great,” Malachi agrees. “Sonia is… eight now?” He asks.

“Nine, birthday just a few weeks ago. She’s huge man, and she likes cars! Always wants to be in the shop with me, she’s gettin’ an attitude on her, always pissed she’s gotta go to school to learn math and shit when she could be gettin’ her hands dirty fixing carburetors with daddy.” Esteban says proudly. Malachi is so pleased to hear that, vicariously gratified by the idea that their daughters might both be into fixing vehicles. Felina knew enough after watching him, never one to leave something to a man just because. Mercedes is old enough to learn now, so maybe she’s out there somewhere changing Felina’s oil for her.

“Speaking of daughters,” He begins, stopping only because Veronica comes with a frankly enormous plate of nachos, loaded up with so much stuff the chips are barely visible underneath. Esteban hands over his card, and then looks to Malachi with a tense sheepishness. He knows what’s coming. “I want to go see Felina and Mercedes. Do you know where they’re at?” Esteban eyes the nachos like they might save him, and opts for a mouthful of beer instead to avoid the question for a few moments.

“I do know where they are, sure, but ah…Chi, listen. Maybe you ought give it a few months of being on the outside before you go chasin’ ghosts.”

“Ghosts?” Malachi says, immediately alarmed. Esteban holds up his hands, realizing what he’s implied.

“They’re fine! They’re alive! Sorry, nah- I mean, it’s- fuck dude. Felina’s got her own thing goin’, maybe you should get your own thing goin’, live a new life!” He insists. Malachi sighs and rubs his hand down his face.

“I can’t do that, man.” Malachi says softly. “I gotta see them, see my little girl, make right with Felina.”

“And how you gonna do that, huh? It’s not my business exactly, I know that, but I know my sister, man. You broke her heart, maybe the best thing after fuckin’ it up is to let sleepin’ dogs lie.”

“That’s cowardly.” Malachi says.

“Fuck you, cowardly.” Esteban huffs, “Depends from where you’re sitting don’t it? You think it’s cowardly to just let her be when she ain’t talked to you in a decade?”

“I think it’s wrong, because I did break her heart and I didn’t want to do that to her. I fucked up, I owe her an apology. I’m not trying to win her back, Esteban, I just don’t want what happened to be complete shit for the rest of our lives. Put water under the bridge, for real, you know? A few years from now when Mercedes is old enough to do what she wants, I don’t want her wondering why her mom and dad never talk even though I’m out. I…” Malachi hesitates, flexing his hands, clasping them together. “I miss my friend. I fucked up with my wife, but I miss my friend.” Esteban sighs at Malachi and takes a few moments to think, eating nachos to buy himself time. He gestures at the plate, and Malachi takes a chip too, precariously stacked with meat and cheese and tomatos and cilantro. He eats it, it’s so wonderful he smiles and Esteban laughs a little.

“Good as fuck, huh.” Esteban says, breaking the tension. Malachi nods, smiling more. Esteban leans back into the booth and taps his fingers against the table.

“I hear ya, alright? We were tight back then… it’s different now. But she don’t wanna see you.”

“You know that? She told you that?” Malachi challenges.

“She don’t gotta tell me that, man.” Esteban says, resigned.

“Then you don’t know.”

“Why would she want to fuckin’ see you? What makes you so sure, ah?”

“She left me money.”

“And?” Malachi blinks at this dismissal.

“What do you mean, ‘and’?” Esteban rolls his eyes.

“You’re the father of her kid, man. Felina’s always been soft under all the sharp teeth. Maybe she was just lookin’ out for you because it was good for her heart. Don’t mean she wants to see ya. She don’t wanna see you.” Malachi has another nacho and considers this. Maybe Esteban is right but… can his own heart bear it, to accept that answer without finding out for sure?

“I’d rather go see her and have her tell me to my face she doesn’t want to see me.” He decides to say.

“Man,” Esteban drawls, “You mean you wanna hear her say that and end up cryin’ like a baby on her doorstep? Be for real, man. You couldn’t handle that, you were more upset that she was breakin’ it off with you than you were when they put you in for ten years. You did your time, you really want some more pain?”

“If she puts me through pain it’s not even half what I did to her.” Malachi says.

#writeblr #fuck nano update #blood sun territory #original story

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