#it took me like two hours to add 2 songs to it

[mooseyspooky]

@wolfstrong I have now added "I Want the One I Can't Have" to the list of songs I think Moz wrote about Johnny

I also added "My Love Life" because somehow I missed it, too.

Lastly I made a Youtube playlist of all the songs on the list, because Spotify is missing too many of them for me to bother with making it there (lots of the rarer Moz b-sides and demos aren't on Spotify - as well as some bigger songs like "Pregnant For the Last Time." It's weird).

Here's a link to the original post for those who missed it. It's been updated a lot and has basically become a marrissey master post at this point lol

[iluvmattsbeard]

late at night (c.s)

master list

warnings: none!

preview: you and the triplets decided to go rent out a cabin leaving the Los Angeles lifestyle for a little bit to take a breather. late at night, you were awaken by a sleepless Chris knocking on your door.

a/n: likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

you're in your room, packing your luggage as you talk on the phone, "how long are we staying there again?" you speak up, looking through your drawers. it was way too early in the morning. your mind needed some refreshing. "till Sunday." Nick replies shortly. he was also packing his things for the two day get away. you and the triplets decided to take this trip up the mountains to get peace and quiet. a change of scenery is always good. “is Matt and Chris ready?” you ask folding a few shirts. Nick scoffs, “Matt is still sleeping.” you look at the camera to face him. Nick looks back at you and freezes, “are you serious? how about Chris?” you ask with a straight face.

“let me see.” he says putting down what he had in his hands, walking towards his bedroom door. he opens it and shouts, “Chris!” you stare at the phone waiting for a response. “yeah?” Chris shouts back. “what are you doing?” Nick asks leaning against his door. Chris eventually walks into the room, “I just finished packing.” he says. he looks at the camera and sees you, causing him to smile a bit, “good morning Y/n.” he greets. “can you wake up Matt? I don’t want to be the one to drive up the mountain.” you ask with the same straight face, making Chris’s smile fade, “no good morning back?” he asks. Nick rolls his eyes before interrupting, “Chris, go do what she asked.” he pushes the younger brother out the door, shutting it.

“you and him need to get a license.” you let out, earning a scoff from him, “trust me, you don’t want me behind the wheel. especially if Matt and Chris are the passengers.” you laugh a bit shaking your head. you’ve witnessed his driving before, it’s not that he was terrible at it. he just stresses out too much. as you two finish packing, Chris knocks on Nick’s door before entering, “Matt’s getting ready now.” he says. “is he packed already?” Nick asks. “yeah. I guess he packed last night.” he responds getting on his phone. “that’s probably why he overslept.” you join in. Chris looks at you, “I still didn’t get a proper good morning.” he mutters. you ignore him, “okay Nick i’ll see you in a bit. I’ll stop by the store for a few items. just text me in the group chat.” Nick nods, as Chris sighs dramatically, “so now i’m being ignored?” he adds on making you laugh a bit.

“text in the group chat as well Chris. also, remind Matt to attach the snow chains onto the tires.” you state picking up your phone. “okay I will.” Nick guarantees you. you both say good bye and you start to carry your luggage.

meanwhile, the triplets start to pack the car, waiting for you to arrive. Chris texts you what he wants, including what his brothers want since the two were busy doing what you said earlier, attaching the snow chains.

Y/n

‘be there soon’

you text Chris causing him to grin.

Chris

‘I hope you’re in a nicer mood when I see you 😄’

Y/n

‘we’ll see’

after a bit, you arrived at their house, or as Chris states out dramatically, “finally! you took forever.” you place the bags on the counter looking at him, “maybe because someone, as in you, requested too many items.” you let out, handing him the bag with his requests. he takes it and smiles, “thank you.” you shake your head a bit, smiling slightly at his gratitude, “you’re welcome.”

your attention soon lands on Matt, “are you set to drive?” you ask. Matt nods, “yeah let’s go.” he responds. you all pile into the car with you sat in the back with Nick and Chris in the passenger seat. you were all now heading to the anticipated place, a cozy cabin that you all decided to split money on. the car ride was only 2 hours long. Nick knocked out during the whole ride, Matt was focused on the road, and you were resting your head on your fist, staring out the window. you admired the change of scenery. your thoughts were soon interrupted by Chris turning up his music. you lift your head to look at him. he was singing along loudly, “Chris! turn it down!” Matt shouts.

you laugh while Chris turns the music up louder. Nick gets woken up, “seriously?” he mumbles tiredly. “look, we’re here!” Chris says excitedly, pointing at the cabin. Matt parks the car as you all look at the building. it was perfect. you put on your beanie and head out the car with everyone else. the four of you carry everything out the car and head inside. Nick bends down and lifts the welcome mat, revealing a silver key. he picks it up and unlocks the door. as soon as everyone shuffled inside, you guys were instantly hit with a comforting scent. you guys look around and you couldn’t help but eye the fireplace. you were excited for this weekend. “let’s look at the rooms.” Matt suggests, walking towards the hallway. there was exactly four rooms.

you all pick out rooms and you guys settle in. Nick sits on your bed and looks around, “what is the plan for today?” he asks with a smile. you sit next to him, “I thought we were snowboarding?” you ask. Nick looks at you with an eyebrow raised, “do you think I know how?” he asks making you giggle, “how hard could it be?” you state.

you guys eventually did go snowboarding, “okay maybe I was quick to assume.” you say looking at Nick as you both were laying in the snow with visible irritation on his face. “I told you!” he lets out, causing you to laugh. “are you guys okay?” Chris asks lifting his goggles up. you look at him, “a little sore.” you respond. he smiles and puts his hand out. you look at his hand before grabbing it. he pulls you up. “okay help me now!” Nick shouts. you and Chris burst put into laughter.

when you guys head back to the cabin, you went straight to take a shower. your body was aching from all the tumbling you did also, from the tumbling Nick did into you. later on, you guys had pizza for dinner and you all ended up going to bed early. you were definitely drained from today, waking up early and absolutely failing at snowboarding. you didn’t hesitate to drift off to sleep.

suddenly, you were woken up by a knock on your door. you rub your eyes and get up wondering who it could be. you look at the clock on the bedside table and groan quietly. it was the middle of the night. you open the door and see Chris. you could tell from the look on his face that something was up, “what’s wrong?” you whisper tiredly. he looks at you and whispers back, “can I stay with you?” he asks catching you off guard. “what? why?” you ask confused because he usually goes to Matt. “please?” he adds on. you rub your forehead and sigh. you open the door wider, letting him in. he walks in and immediately lays in your bed. you shut the door and turn around, standing still.

you watch as Chris snuggles into your blanket, “why do you want to be in here?” you ask. “I had a bad dream.” he whispers.“then why didn’t you go to Matt or Nick?” you ask walking closer to the bed. he shuts his eyes, “I didn’t want to.” he responds. you shake your head a bit and eventually lay next to him. you lay on your hand facing him. Chris opens his eyes and looks at you. “do you want to tell me what happened in your dream?” you whisper. he just stays quiet as he continues to stare at you. “come on. you disturbed my sleep.” you add on. he shakes his head, “I don’t want to talk about it.” he says.

you sigh, “okay, try to get some more sleep then.” you say turning around. you lay on the opposite side as you look ahead of you. you then feel Chris’ get closer to you, making you turn around to face him. you both were looking at each other with a small distance in between. “I can’t sleep.” he whispers. “why not?” you ask with a slight groan. it was too late at night for this. you now understand why Matt wakes up grumpy. you analyze his face and still see the same look from earlier. you move the blanket and open your arms, indicating him to ‘come here’. he breaks the distance and lays his face in the crook of your neck.

you wrap your arms around him with one hand playing with his hair softly. Chris eventually relaxes in your arms. “Y/n?” he whispers with his eyes shut. “yes?” you respond. he let’s out a breath, “can we always be like this?” he asks with an unfamiliar tone. you pull away slightly to look at him but he hides his face. “Chris?” you say trying to move him so you could see his expression. “what’s wrong?” you ask with slight concern. as soon as your eyes met with his, you couldn’t help but notice tears roll down his cheeks. you widen your eyes, you’ve never seen him cry before, “Chris talk to me.” you add on.

“I feel like an idiot.” he says sitting up, causing you to sit up as well. you both sit there as you lift your hand to wipe his tears away. “tell me.” you whisper. his breath was shaky, “the dream I had…” he starts off but he shakes his head, “it’s stupid.” you shake your head, “Chris it’s okay just tell me.” you reassure him. he lets out a breath, “in the dream I told you how I felt about you and you didn’t feel the same way back. you ended up getting with someone else.” you sit there confused, “why would that bother you?” you ask. he shakes his head, “forget it.” you place your hand on his knee repeating the question, “why would that bother you?”

“this whole time i’ve felt this feeling. a strong feeling that i’ve tried to shake off. you know how I am, I don’t just feel these type of things. when you’re around, I feel this sudden urge of wanting to impress you or trying to get you to only look at me when i’m with my brothers.” he confesses making you sit there frozen. “when I had that dream, I woke up with my heart racing. that’s why I came here, to you. I don’t want it to be too late when it comes to me telling you how I feel.” he continues. “that’s why I asked if we could always be like this. it felt right to me.” he says talking about you both being in each other’s embrace.

Y/n’s POV

it was silent for a bit. I stared at him, continuing to analyze his face. I knew he was genuine about these feelings. looking back at it, I now realize his efforts. him coming to me now made me feel a knot in my stomach. deep down I did feel the same way, I just didn’t know if he felt it. Chris never acted this way. he’s never had a girlfriend or expressed his feelings to any girl utmost. so him telling me all of this left me speechless.

End of Y/n’s POV

he looks at you and waits for a response but nothing could come out of your mouth. Chris sighs, “i’m sorry if this was too much.” he moves about to get up but you grab his hand. you lay down pulling him back to how you both were before, with his face in the crook of your neck. “of course we can.” you whisper. he looks up at you with his mouth agape, “really?” he asks. you look at him and smile a bit, “yes really.” you reassure him. his eyes kept on you filled with admiration. you both smile and continue to be in each other’s arms. drifting off to sleep.

the next morning, you and Chris were on the sofa drinking hot chocolate. the fire place was lit and you both were under a shared blanket. you both talked about last night and how you both wanted to start off slow. as in not putting any labels on yet. he wanted to properly take you out first. you both agreed that when you both get back to LA that he would try for his license. you took his word for it. you sip your cocoa as he giggles a bit. you look at him with a raised eyebrow, “what you laughing at?” he smiles, “there’s something on your lip.” he says getting closer, leaving a small kiss on your lips.

“there we go.” he says licking his lips. “just whipped cream.” you sit there looking at him with pure shock. “what happened to slow and steady?” you ask. “I was just taking off the stuff from your lips.” he says with a sheepish smile. you put down your cocoa and pull him in for a proper kiss. he does the same and kisses back, resting his hands on your face. when you both pull away slowly, Chris speaks up, “I just had to kiss you. i’ve been waiting you know.” he whispers making you laugh softly. “okay but still. slow and steady.” you add on. he nods a bit, “it’s just kissing.” he says reattaching his lips onto yours.

a/n: yeah i don’t know how i feel about this but, hope you enjoyed. LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

[minhosimthings]

Brooklyn Baby

Symphony smut series Day 2: Lana del Rey's Brooklyn Baby

Lyric: My boyfriends' in a band, he plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed

Pairings: dom!Heeseung × dom!Jay × fem!sub!reader

Warnings: Poly relationship, SMUT MINORS DNI, vibrator, double penetration, oral (f and m recieving), dacryphillia, degradation, reader wears a dress, mention of breeding, Heeseung fucks reader with a vibrator, edging, orgasm denial, unprotected sex (definetly not for you), threesome, kinda mean doms hee and jay

A/N: Day 2! I love this song with all my heart so I thought Jay would be the perfect fit cause duh, but then I was like why don't we make it a little interesting and add Heeseung into the mixture? Anyway this is my first time writing poly so please be kind everyone.

THE SYMPHONY SMUT SERIES MASTERLIST

When you took up the offer in college to be lead singer of a three-person band, you hadn't expected to become a celebrity princess overnight. What you also hadn't expected was for your two loving members, Heeseung and Jay, to become your loving boyfriends. A little bit of poly never hurt did it?

"Darling, we're going to be late if you don't hurry up." Jay peeked his head around the door, to see you applying your lip gloss all prettily around your lips.

The lip gloss he had gotten you.

"How do I look?" You turned to him with uncertainty. The dress was beautiful, one that your fans would adore. The makeup was also done to perfection by your '24 hour routine' as Heeseung called it.

"Beautiful as always." Jay responded, stretching his hand out to you, and twirling you around, relishing the tight fit of the dress against your waist, "I think engenes are going to want to steal you from me and Heeseung."

"Please." Heeseung's footsteps announced his arrival into the room, his eyes widening as they fell upon you, "They won't ever be able to do that.

"So protective." You wrapped your arms around Heeseung's neck, whilst Jay's stayed on your waist, "Are we ready?"

You looked into the mirror infront of you, where you all stood out perfectly in color coordinated outfits. A flurry of blues and purples perfectly describing your band's genre stared back at you in the mirror.

"Perfect."

"And now we have the overnight musical sensation! Please welcome Enhypen!" The host's voice boomed across the room, as you entered from backstage, both arms twirled in both your boyfriends' arms.

The audience applauded and hooted, cheering your names, the official fanchant over and over again and again.

"Well aren't they excited for today?" The host merrily laughed, as you sat down in between Heeseung and Jay.

"Well, welcome to the show! How are you feeling?"

"Nervous I guess." You answered with a slight chuckle, calming down as Jay's hand pressed on yours.

"Well of course! I believe you are excited for the live performance tonight?"

"Well of course." Jay responded this time. His perfume did smell good, you thought as you watched him speak with such eloquence. He did always have a way with his words everywhere.

"You're not ignoring me are you?" You heard Heeseung whisper into your ear, his hand creeping up to your thigh. You were thankful for the table infront of you which shielded the bottom part of your body, a part which Heeseung loved to touch.

His hand reached lower into your thigh, tickling your skin with his cold hands as he gripped them hard.

"And Miss Y/N!" The host said, snapping you out of the sudden urge to moan, "How would you describe your relationship with the boys?"

Great, you thought, another dumb question just for me.

"Um I'd say we're best friends." You nervously said. Revealing your relationship to the world wouldn't really be all sunshine and rainbows. "We've been friends since college actually, when we decided to form Enhypen. And well I guess we're close to family now." You awkwardly laughed to cover up the situation as the host moved on to the next question.

"And now, our dear audience let's get ready for the performance!" The host's voice boomed again, as the audience clapped their hands off.

A microphone and two guitars were all prepped and ready as you walked up, adjusting the mic to your level. Jay examined the guitar carefully and slipped it on, teasing the audience by playing a few notes on it, to which you heard girls scream his name. You smiled to yourself, remembering all the shit they wrote on your boys, all the fanfiction which they really thought would come true.

Hah as if! The boys belonged to you, and you only.

If only you knew what was coming for you after the performance.

"Best friends huh?" Jay pinned you against the wall, Heeseung's chuckles filling the room, as he slowly removed his belt and watch, "Too afraid to tell the world what we are darling?"

"Jay y-you know we can't." You reprimanded him, trying to take the upper hand. But only failure came to you at that moment, as you felt your thighs become stickier by the moment.

"Aww look at her." Heeseung chuckled again, "Our good little girl. Why don't we teach her a lesson, huh Jay?"

Jay smirked at you, going in for a kiss before saying, "Want her first?"

"Nah you have fun, I'll take her later." Heeseung settled himself comfortably on the loveseat facing the bed, his legs wide open in a manspread.

You felt shivers around your body as Jay, picked you up like a rag doll and threw you onto the bed.

"We don't need this, do we?" Jay toyed with your panties. The straps of your dress pressed tightly against your shoulders and Jay, pressed his fingers to your clothed labia, removing the underwear with ease and depositing it on the floor.

The shaky breath you took made Jay smile against your skin, the warmth of his breath crashing against your exposed flesh.

As his fingers slowly began to curve in and out of you, he came to kiss your skin, moving down with each kiss towards your clit. The sensation of his lips grazing the latter inevitably brought your hand to rest in his hair as you arched your back.

The room was dimly lit, courtesy to the closed curtains, but you could see Heeseung from the corner of your eye, smirking intently at Jay reaching down to your clit, one of his hands massaging the bulge on his pants gently.

Jacking off while Jay works his way through you, typical Heeseung, you would have scoffed if not for Jay providing heaven to you at that moment.

Jay's tongue made sinuous circles around your clit as his two fingers accelerated slightly. He knew which places he had to touch to make you produce the sweetest sounds, and he wasn't going to deprive himself of hearing them.

You can feel him grinning while he licks and swirls his tongue around your swollen nub, hands beginning to slow to a halt. His fingers pull almost all the way out you, causing your eyes to finally open and a noise of protest leaves your lips.

Your walls were perfect, taking his thick, long fingers into you so good. He curved them while making smaller and smaller circles centered on your clit, kissing and licking it.

Your hands gripped his hair more firmly, your breath quickening as the heat rose to your cheeks and the knot tightened in your belly.

And just as you the climax reached closer and closer, your mouth almost about to scream-

"Jay!" You cried, laying an eye on Jay's face peeking out from between your legs, "Why'd you stop?"

Jay chuckled and glanced over at Heeseung, who sighed and got up, striding over to you, the buttons of his shirt slightly opened, giving him a more powerful look

"Only our girlfriend deserves to cum, but you're not her are you?" Heeseung moved to the atmosphere above you, as Jay slowly collapsed on the loveseat where Heeseung had been sitting, "Remind me what she is Jay?"

"Our best friend." Jay said, an unusually sadistic tone to his voice, "Do you want the vibrator or will you be going in with your fingers?"

"Hand me the vibrator." Heeseung said, stroking your thigh with his fingers again, eliciting a mewl out of you, "You wanna use the pink one princess?"

"Don't ask her that you know she'll say yes." Jay's voice could be heard from across the room, as he dug and dug into the cupboard, "Aha! There you go."

A needy moan falls from your lips as Heeseung presses the pink machine deeper inside your pussy, whining a bit as it clenches tighter. Pleasure rushes through your core while your moans grow louder and needier.

"Aww look at her." Heeseung chuckles, "so fucking needy aren't you?"

He groans softly, biting his lip as he takes in the sight of you before him. Heeseung was never the one to keep his control. The vibrator slides through your folds absentmindedly, keeping you wet and needy. Heeseung's eyes darken a bit at the sight of your arching back.

"Fuck, princess," he whispers, kneeling on the bed closer to you. His free hand come to rest on your hips, sliding along, caressing your thighs, your curves in admiration and desire.

"How does it feel? Good?" he whispers, voice almost raw with need, "Do you want something better?"

"Fuck Heeseung!" You cry, feeling the vibrator switch to a faster pace, Heeseung pushing it deeper and deeper into you.

Tears falls down your face, the pleasure rushing through you almost being impossible to take. And yet, you didn't fuck two men at the same time to crumble so easily did you?

"Are you close, princess?" he leans his body over yours, whispering in your ears, "Do you wanna cum for me?"

“i-i’m gonna cum… fuck! Heeseung–!” you cry out, ready to tip over that peak until the pleasure your boyfriend was giving you was ripped away. "No!"

You whip your head around, glancing over your shoulder to see the shit-eating smirk Jay was wearing on his face.

“ah… i guess you really wanted to cum right?” he teases, one of his hands rubbing soft circles on his dick.

“aw… m’sorry baby,” Heeseung coos at you, his hands coming up to rest on your jaw. “but brats don’t get what they want, now do they?” he says, the grip on your face tightening.

“Think you can handle two dicks in your tight little cunt?” Jay teases, no having joined you and Heeseung in the bed. You've never heard him talk with such vile language before but you loved this side of him. “Yes daddy~” you moan out.

Skin colliding with skin filled the room, the sound bouncing off the walls.

With a loud moan you nodded, feeling how good the stretch provided by Heeseung's cock felt inside your cunt "right there daddy" you mumbled against the tip of Jay's cock before his hips slammed it inside your mouth once again. You couldn't help but whimper while his cock used your mouth, causing waves of pleasure to travel all over Jay's body who was harshly gripping a fistful of your hair as he deep throated you.

"You love doing this don't you, slut?" Heeseung chuckled, "Making us feel good?"

"but who fucks you better, huh darling?" Jay questioned, his eyes focusing on your face completely fucked out. Your ruined make up, your messy hair, the way your cheeks and nose were all red because of how roughly he was using your mouth and the sight of saliva all over your lips and chin made his cock twitch under your hand.

You moan around his cock with the sting of his condescension, feel Heeseung stiffen inside you with a rut of his hips, grazing your tender g-spot with the added swell. He stutters and curses, Jay grins through a breathy moan as he no doubt recognises the signs he’s seen a hundred times before.

"You wanna cum darling?" Heeseung's chuckle sounds like heaven to your ears, "What do you think Jay?"

"She's treatin me so good." Jay groans, feeling his cum in his belly, "Let her."

Heeseung nods, reaching around you to circle your throbbing clit with surprisingly firm and steady motions despite his impending release. He gets you there, bursts through the dam of white-hot pleasure with a final rut that forces you deeper onto Jay's cock, and the three of you come in an eye watering display of lust and synergy that shouldn’t be found in a group that says they're 'best friends'.

With Jay's cum dripping from your lips, Heeseung's from your post-orgasmic pussy, you wonder how you’re ever going to have sex again after this. Nothing could possibly come close to what you just experienced.

"Fucking hell." Jay collapsed on the bed on your right, while Heeseung did the same thing to your left, "That was good, wasn't it darl-" Jay's words stopped in their tracks as soon as they saw you clinging to Heeseung's bicep, and lightly snoring.

"You wanna get showered?" Heeseung whispered to Jay, "I got your favourite shampoo."

"Nah wanna stay like this." Jay answered, wrapping his arms around your waist, spooning you into comfort, "Family." He scoffed, "The only family we're ever going to be is when we fuck our cum into her."

"That's what I was thinking." Heeseung laughed, the three of you holding each other and collapsing into a cocoon of comfort.

[mungdou]

DANDELIONS PT. 2

PR. ushijima x reader; semi x reader

W. swears

GR. angst, comfort, resolution

WC. 3.2k

AN. revenge is so sweet; tysm for all the love on the first part!! it was such a warm welcome back haha :)) requests are still open so please ask away my brain is highkey empty.

(pt. 1)

It's been a while since you've felt lonely. After that day, Semi started sitting with you during lunch to chat about his day, hum some new riffs he was testing out on his guitar, or just as good company. He'd get something from the cafeteria whilst you ate the pre-packed lunch you made the night before. Needless to say, there were more than a few bites missing from your lunch after the hour was over. It was peaceful and more than anything you could ask for.

"Y/n, listen to this-" He played a short video clip of a new song he was practicing. The sound was smooth, almost as if he had run the audio through a creamy filter. Were his fingers always this nimble? Or did you just start noticing? Mesmerized by the short clip, you couldn't help pressing the reset button 3 or 4 times before Semi began pulling away.

Your eyes looked up, snapped out of the trance his fingering put you into. "Oh! Sorry, I couldn't help myself-" You smiled as your face burned with embarrassment. "That was amazing, Semi-Semi, definitely remind me next time you practice- I'd love to come listen to you live." Your fingers twiddled under the table, hoping the sudden advance didn't come out too eager. His playing was beautiful- his fingers danced on the fretboard meticulously and the notes were so smooth, almost like magic.

His lips curled in a proud smile and he seemed to perk up like a dog. "You... wanna come over? Like, to hear me practice? Me? Really?" He mustered out, his words stumbled over another. His ears turned pink and waved his hands around, gesturing between the two of you without direction.

You giggled at his flustered reaction and grasped his flailing hands. They were flushed at the knuckles, and you could feel the hard-earned callouses that had formed from years of guitar and volleyball practice. His palms were warm, but his fingertips were cold, and as you squeezed his hands, they seemed to relax into a gentle position.

"Yes! I'd really like it if I could... does this Sunday work? You'll be going home for the weekend, right?" You eagerly spoke, your hands squeezing his just a bit harder.

Semi nodded shyly, his eyes darting between his enveloped hands and your eyes. "Ahem-" He coughed softly. "Here, give me your phone, I'll put my address in for you." He took your phone off the table and typed in his address before turning it to you to confirm that you had it.

"Hmm? Oh! You live so close by to me!" You exclaimed, smiling brightly. "Yeah this is like, a 15 minute walk from my place! Wow, Why haven't we seen this before, that's so convenient, Semi-semi!"

"Oh really? That's crazy, we could have been catching the bus together or something-"

"SEMI-SEMIIIIII??" The disembodied voice of a familiar lanky middle blocker interrupted your newfound discovery. "DID SHE JUST CALL YOU SEMI-SEMI????"

"Goddamnit" Semi groans, turning away from Tendou, banging his head against the table.

"Hi Tendou, what's going on?" A shit-eating grin creeped on your face with full intent to milk this 'Semi-semi' privilege you held over his head. One of the only things you could hold above his head to be honest.

Tendou's teeth grit, greeting you with a playful glare before turning to Semi, "Why can she call you Semi-semi without getting verbally attacked? This isn't fair, I'll have you know." He tsked, "And what's this about meeting up?? Hmm?? Unsupervised, might I add?"

"Shut up, Tendou." Semi growled, picking up his tray and walking away.

You smiled nervously at Tendou, "So..." You began.

"So..." Tendou copied.

"How's Ushijima been? I mean- well- yeah." It was hard asking. It had been a few weeks since he insulted your character and needless to say, everything about it was hard. His words and your acceptance of those words. As much as you wish it didn't, time still moved on even though you were left in pain and embarrassment. The only thing that helped you get through with it was Semi and Tendou.

"He's doing okay, I guess?" Tendou mused before sauntering to pester Goshiki abut his bowl cut or something.

You guess? Okay, weird.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

Even though Tendou stayed close to Ushijima, he still came over to ask about how you were doing every so often, or to tease you about something or another. It was refreshing, that despite all this, he still treated you the same.

At least he didn't pity you.

It was a shame how fast rumors spread after Ushijima rejected you so coldly.

Most said that it was your fault for interfering with his feelings.

Some thought that it was his fault for being so blunt without apologies.

Even less thought it had to do with Aoi.

Most people in the inner volleyball ring knew the truth. That Aoi had changed their cornerstone ace for better and worse. On one hand, he worked twice as hard to impress her and to better himself. On the other hand, he became ever so slightly distracted, and it didn't help that Aoi rarely did her manager duties.

At some point, it had become too much for you to handle basic manager duties on top of appealing to Aoi and Ushijima. Aoi's whole point of being here was to help out, but instead of pushing carts, hanging laundry, or taking notes, she could be seen trailing her boyfriend up and down the court with a water bottle and towel only for him.

Imagine pulling a hundred pound anchor of dead weight on a chain with your teeth while using your hands to organize papers and running 5 miles an hour.

It was obvious that people noticed. They pitied you more than they cared to admit, but they were too afraid to speak out. Plus, you reassured them that everything was fine as to not stress them out further.

Besides, it wasn't like you could fire her at this point. She was supposed to be taking over after you graduated and it was already too soon to the end of the year to start over.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

That Saturday, you woke up earlier than usual to make some cute thumbprint jam cookies to bring over as a snack for your hangout the next day. You biked out to the local grocery store to grab some missing ingredients and some nice fruit for his parents before visiting for the first time. After grabbing all the ingredients, all that was left was to peruse the aisles for fun.

"Ooh, they have truffle fry chips? That's new- ahh I shouldn't... but then again... hmmm." You murmured to yourself, crouching down to look at the options of savory treats when you heard a voice call out your name.

"Y/n-senpai?" A familiar cute, yet unfeeling voice rang in your ears, making your stomach flip in anxiety. You turned around and saw Aoi standing at the end of the aisle. Whipping your eyes back down to the bottom of the shelf, you took a few deep breaths as you heard the pitter-patter of her heel-adorned feet run down the aisle towards you.

"Aoi." You curtly nipped, with an unfamiliar lack of emotion lacing your words. "What are you doing here?" Standing back up to face her, you noticed that she had showy makeup on and was dressed nicer than usual.

"I'm here to get something with Toshi~ But I should be asking you that." She smirked boastfully, her cute demeanor barely shielding her bitter intentions. "You are so... weird. No offense. Why are you here? Probably stalking Toshi like always. Ugh, you're so suffocating, like, leave us alone. He. Doesn't. Like. You. What don't you get about that? Honestly, I might need to call the police or something to report you-"

"I. Don't. Give. A. Flying. Fuck. You. Dense. Ass. Child." You clapped back, clapping between every word, emphasizing your hate towards her. "You wanna talk about being clingy and obsessed? Really? Because last time I checked, who's the one who constantly follows Ushijima around the court, ignoring everyone else around them? The one who's always rushing over to hover over him to gush about how amazing he is after practice while others pick up your slack?"

Her face turned pink with anger, the flush blocked by the sheer amount of concealer she had on. "Well- you were rejected, yet you still show up around him, to practice and to show the notes to him all cutesy and whatever. You're practically begging for attention." She ticked her head to the side, as if she was saying checkmate.

You doubled over laughing. Tears formed at the corner of your eyes as you wheezed, trying to catch your breath. "Hah... Hah.. Oh my god you are such a little comedian." Wiping away the tears, you stood straight up and finished off your thought. "Showing up to practice and taking notes, putting aside my differences to make sure that the team functions?? Aoi, I'm gonna metaphorically hold your hands while I say this."

I stepped forwards and leaned down, moving my lips close to her studded ears. I lowered my voice, babying my voice to make sure she understood.

"That's what you call being a mature manager. Woahh~~ Whahh~~ Isn't that amazing? Though, if I'm being honest, you probably don't even know what being mature means, so I don't blame you if this completely flies over your head."

You walked past her frozen figure, waving nonchalantly as you passed. "And by the way, to answer your question, I live in the area- in fact, I live right next door to Ushijima. The same place for the past 5 years, so forgive me for intruding on his space or whatever."

On your way out, as you scanned your ingredients by the self-checkout, you caught a glimpse of a softly weeping Aoi and a silent, but furious, Ushijima in the background.

Well, at this point, what do I have to lose? If he's mad at me, I've already accepted that. If he's mad at her, I win.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

When you returned home, you hastened your pace, prepping all the ingredients and efficiently moving around your kitchen to make your cookies as quickly as possible.

Flour, butter, eggs, sugar, jam.

Finally, after an hour, you popped the cookies into the oven, wiping the sweat off your brow in triumph. After setting a timer on your phone, you ran up the stairs and collapsed on your bed.

As you lay there looking out the window, you began to think about what happened just a few hours ago. Oh the rant you were about to go on when you see Semi later tomorrow.

The thought of seeing Semi relaxed you, a heavy weight leaving your shoulder, and now all you were stressing about was to not fall asleep before your cookies were done.

Don't sleep. Don't do it, you're going to burn your whole house down. You'd better not pass the fuck ou-

"Get out."

A voice bellowed from outside your window. You sat up quickly and peered out your curtains. Across the way you could see Aoi and Ushijima arguing in his room. It was hard to hear, and only snippets were caught.

"but-"

"did i stutter? please, get out. i am saying this as nice as I possibly can."

"Toshi- please, she was the one harassing me, I swear!"

"do you think i am that dense? i was in the next aisle, i am not deaf."

Your cookie alarm loudly rang from your pocket while you peeked out the window, scaring you, but also getting the attention from the perfect couple next door. Their heads sharply looked over, but you slammed the window and shades to avoid their gaze before rushing down to take your cookies out of the oven.

phew. at least they came out nice.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

It's a weird feeling, waking up before your alarm.

After dressing up in a nice white top, a jean skirt, and a gray overshirt, you went downstairs to pack your cookies and fruits into a canvas tote before leaving your house to walk over to Semi's place.

"Y/n." Ushijima's deep voice startled you.

"Oh! Good morning, Ushiji-" You started before being cut off.

Ushijima cleared his throat, "You should call me by my first name again. We aren't unfamiliar, after all."

You smiled, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. "Wakatoshi. What's up?"

"You heard, did you not?" His intense gaze wavered for a split second, tilting down towards the curb.

"Well, it was hard not to- though I didn't mean to eavesdrop like I did... Sorry about that, by the way." You sheepishly looked away, struggling to meet him in the eyes.

"It's alright. I should be sorry for the way I've treated you for the past few weeks. I never should have let her blind me into treating you like that. I never thought that her intentions were impure." He looked into your eyes, a light gentleness glazed over his own. "Do you think you could ever forgive me?"

"I can," You began, "and I will, eventually. But I don't think I can just forgive and forget right now, but lets just establish good terms from here on out? I'll let you know when I've healed- emotionally- that is."

"Thank you." He paused before speaking up, "Where are you off to?" looking at your treat stuffed bag.

"O-oh. I'm on my way to visit Semi... I'm running a bit late, so I'll catch you later! Bye Wakatoshi!" You jogged off, quickly making your way over to your destination.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

You arrived on Semi's doorstep, but before you rang the doorbell, you tried to catch your breath. However, the door swung open to reveal Semi, draped in a loose gray hoodie and cargo pants. Both of you flushed with embarrassment.

“You… hah… I didn’t even ring the doorbell, Semi-Semi.” You laughed, out of breath, looking at him as he put his hands over his face, trying to hide his flushed cheeks. “Were you waiting for me~”

“N-no-“ Semi turned around, holding the door open to let you in before turning back to dace you, “Well, you were running late, y’see- and, uh, I was worried…” he trailed off after seeing the pouch in your hands. “What’s that?”

You looked down at your hands, “I made cookies for us to eat! Oh!! I also got some fruit for your parents- are they home?” You rummaged through your bag and took a nicely wrapped melon.

“Nah, my parents aren’t home right now… We can just leave it in the basket over there.” He led you to the kitchen and took the melon to store away.

"So... you were waiting for me, weren't you?" You smiled, leaning in close, "I didn't even ring the doorbell- You were definitely looking for me through the window..."

"I- No, It heard your huffing and puffing a mile away-" he stammered, his ears now flaring red. "A-anyways... let's go upstairs- you can bring the cookies with you..."

Following him up the stairs to his room, you noticed all the baby photos adorning the walls, before stopping in front of a familiar one.

Semi heard your steps come to a stop, turning around to join you. "Wow this is so embarrassing- that's from my daycare graduation-" He started, before turning to see your face.

You looked almost startled, "I have this same photo in my house, look-" Your finger pointed at the little girl behind the platinum haired toddler. "In the pigtails behind you-"

"Seriously?" Semi huffed, looking closer at the photo, "Damn, you're right- it really is you."

"Wow Semi-Semi, your hair is naturally this color? I could've sworn you dyed it or something-" You giggled, examining the photo in detail before quietly whispering, "You were a really cute baby."

Semi looked at you with wide eyes. "I heard that-" He coughed out before grabbing your arm and pulling at you to his room. You yelped in surprise, but after walking through the hallway of pictures, you finally made it into his room. It was covered in band posters and at the very corner stood a guitar propped up on a stand.

"Wow- your room is so decorated, it's putting my room to shame," You laughed before plopping onto the floor. Semi picked up his guitar and started to tune it.

"It's nothing special, just some stuff that I've printed throughout the years." He smiled, plucking at the strings before playing some chord progression.

It was almost angelic, the way he played. His fingers danced around the strings so naturally, like he was born to play.

"You play so beautifully," You smiled, looking intensely as he played, "If you put a halo on and wore all white, I could swear you were an angel or something."

"Probably not as beautiful as you are, though." He blurted before catching himself, his fingers frozen in place. "Wait-"

"Really?" Now it was your turn to blush. "Wow Semi, you are such a flirt~" You felt the blood rush to your face while the words fully sunk in.

He cleared his throat. "Uh... Yeah... You are really pretty, did you know that?" His fingers hovered over the strings, almost as if his brain didn't know how to control them anymore.

"You too." You squeaked out, trying to find your voice and composure. "You too, Semi-"

He put the guitar down, and it's hollow body clattering when it hit the floor. "I like you." He smiled shyly, not sure what to say next. "I really really like you."

You shuffled, closing the distance between the two of you. "Me too." You mumbled, looking down at the ground. "I really really like you too."

Both you and Semi sat in silence for a while, though the room kept getting warmer and warmer.

"O-oh!" You exclaimed, stopping the stagnant silence. "The cookies! Uh- Really good! Eat-"

Good job, Y/n, really, really good job.

Semi, in a state of panicked eagerness, grabbed one and practically swallowed it whole before choking a bit. He pounded his chest, tears watering in his eyes.

"Ah!! Water- Water!" You scrambled, pulling out the thermos in your bag.

Semi quickly took the bottle and gulped down the water, sighing in relief after the cookie passed through.

"Are you okay?" You exclaimed, the panic leaving your body. Semi nodded in embarrassment.

"Yeah... it was really tasty- the choking was my fault."

"No, I should have warned you that it was the crumbly kind of cookie." You paused, before buckling down laughing. Tears welled up in your eyes as you gasped for air.

Semi started to laugh, and soon the silence and panic was replaced with cackles.

"Hah... this is gonna be a good story to tell everyone." You sighed, calming down and leaning on his shoulder.

"Yeah...." Semi smiled, resting his head on yours, grasping your hand and interlacing your fingers.

"Wait-" he froze. You looked at him, puzzled by his reaction. "No we can't tell anyone- Especially not Tendou- I can't take the embarrassment any further."

You giggled, looking up at Semi through your eyelashes.

"No promises."

AN: omg this took so long haha my bad yall, hope u liked it :)

masterlist || request

[marie-swriting]

He'll Be Here | In My Life Again - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw [2/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part one

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : ten years later, Bradley wants to apologize for the way it ended between you and him.

Warnings : set after Top Gun Maverick, Mitchell!reader, angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.6k

Song inspiration : The Last Time (Feat. Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol) (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

After spending several hours working on Pete’s P-51 Mustang, this latter and Bradley go to have a drink in Pete’s kitchen. Bradley sits down while Pete opens the fridge and looks for two beers ; Bradley’s eyes find a picture on the wall, he looks at his eighth birthday photo with nostalgia. His cake is in front of him and you by his side. Both of you have a huge smile on your face, ignorant of what the future would hold for you. Bradley’s heart tightens in his chest when Bradley remembers he’ll never have the opportunity of seeing your radiant smile on your face whilst he’s next to you again. 

Pete puts a beer in front of Bradley and snaps him out of his thoughts. He thanks him and takes a sip, his eyes finding their way back to the picture, in spite of him.

“You know,” Bradley starts, catching Pete’s attention, “that day, there was a moment where Y/N wasn’t next to me anymore so I went to look for her. I found her hiding in my closet with tears in her eyes. When I asked her what was the matter, she just told me to not pay attention to her, that I needed to stay with my other friends. I said to her I didn’t care about them, especially because she needed me at that moment. That’s when she confessed she was scared of losing me because I had met friends my age who would replace her. I couldn’t believe she thought that !” he exclaims, his eyes wide open. “In my head, it was obvious she could never be replaced, no matter how close I was to my other friends so I promised her she’d never lose me, that I’ll always be by her side. No matter what. I made her this promise and I’ve been breaking it for ten years now.” Bradley mutters, looking down.

“Have you tried talking to her ?” Pete asks, after a few seconds.

“Yes, several times over the years. The first time was a year after our breakup. I wasn’t far away from her Uni so I went to see her. Long story short, she told me to get lost. The last time was a week ago when she came back. I got the same reaction.”

“I’m sure she just needs a bit of time.” Pete reassures him, putting his hand on Bradley’s shoulder. “I never thought you’d talk to me again and look at us ! Things can get better. The bond you two shared was strong.” he affirms.

“I find that hard to believe, she hates me. And don’t even try to tell me otherwise.” Bradley adds, seeing Pete was about to talk. “She hates me and it’s understandable.” he admits, sadly. “She had nothing to do with all of this and yet I hold her accountable just the same. And the worst part is she warned me.” he specifies, taking another sip. “There were numerous times where she told me to get my shit together and stop ruining our relationship because of my anger toward you but I didn’t listen to her. I took her for granted so I kept messing up until she got tired of it and I’ve been paying the price ever since.” Bradley exclaims, bitterly. “You know, I’ve accepted the fact she’d never forgive me, however I’d still like to apologise properly. I just want her to know how much I regret how things ended between us, no matter if she answers me or just insults me. It might be too late but she deserves me to fix my mistakes, no matter if she forgives me.”

“I can talk to her if you want to. I can convince her to listen to you.”

“No, don’t say anything.” Bradley refuses after drinking. “If she listens to me I want it to be because she wants to, not because you asked her to.”

“As you wish.” he concedes with a heavy heart.

The two men stay silent for a moment, enjoying their drink. Bradley is finally able to detach his gaze from the photo, staring into the void.

“You still love her, don’t you ?” Pete asks, bringing Bradley’s eyes on him.

“And I always will. She was my first friend and my first love. She’ll always have a place in my heart even if I don’t have one in hers anymore. I miss her so much, Mav’, if you knew.” Bradley confesses, tearing up.

“She’ll never say it out loud but she misses you too. Bradley, I promise you things will get better between the two of you.”

Bradley takes the last sip of his beer, hoping it’ll help him with his tears and the knot in his throat. At the same time he puts the bottle down, the main door opens. He knows it’s you so he quickly stands up. He doesn’t want to give you another reason to hate him therefore he tries not to run into you, though his heart only wants that. You walk in the kitchen, talking about your afternoon with Penny and Amelia to your father until you find Bradley. Instantly, you tense up and glare at your former best friend. Bradley bids goodbye to you and Pete before leaving. Pete rolls his eyes at your attitude.

“What ? I didn’t tell him anything.” you defend yourself, searching for something in the fridge.

“You might as well have.”

“Look, it’s not because you forgave him that I have to be nice to him.” you retort, closing the fridge without finding anything interesting. “Unlike you, I haven’t forgotten the way he treated us, the way he cut us out of his life.”

“I haven’t forgotten either.”

“Really ? Because it sure seems like it. It seems you’ve forgotten the pain he caused us, caused me, all the nights I spent crying because of him, all the nights where you had to hold me in your arms while I was sobbing.”

“I remember very well.” Pete admits, trying to stay calm, “But Y/N, he’s changed, okay ? Besides, he was grieving, he was hurt, angry and young-”

“Young ?” you cut him, furious. “He was twenty-five ! He was a grown ass adult, he knew very well what he was doing.”

“Okay, he has his faults as well, but he really feels bad about the way he treated you. You could at least listen to him.” he suggests and you roll your eyes.

“And did he listen to you when you tried to explain yourself ? He sent you packing. I don’t get why I should be the one making an effort. And as my father, shouldn’t you be telling me to stay away from him ?”

“Not when I know what you mean to each other.”

“He doesn’t mean anything to me. And for a long time now.” you state.

“It’s not true and you know it.”

“I don’t understand why you insist so much.”

“I’m responsible for your fallout.”

“He messed up himself.” you correct, tearing up. “He’s the one who let his anger destroy what we had. He’s the one who distanced himself from me. He ruined everything himself.”

“It’s true, nonetheless you can’t deny if I hadn’t pulled his papers, you’d still be together. Hell, you’d probably even be married with a kid now !”

“Wow, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” you say, shocked. “If he hadn’t fucked up, we’d probably still be together, yeah but the fact is you’re not responsible for it. Look, I’m glad you two put your differences aside, it just won’t be the case for me. Anyway, we should stop here.” you order, crossing your arms on your chest. “I don’t want to argue with you, I only have two weeks left with you before I go home.”

“You can be stubborn at times !” he sighs.

“I got that from my dad.” you smile at him.

“Sometimes,  I wish you hadn’t.”

You roll your eyes and laugh a little before starting to leave the room.

“He came back for me.” Pete confesses, stopping you in your tracks.

“What are you talking about ?”

“During my last mission.”

“I thought it was Hangman.” you say, frowning. 

“Hangman came to save us when we were on our way home. Bradley had strict orders to leave me behind when I sacrificed myself for him. But he came back. He didn’t listen and he came back. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave the enemy territory.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before ?” you ask softly.

“Bradley told me not to. He didn’t want you to think he did that out of interest.”

You stay silent for a few moments, taking in this new piece of information. You can’t help but feel grateful for Bradley, though your anger is still there.

“It’s good to know that, at least, in the air, he has your back.” you state, leaving.

Pete sighs, seeing you walk away. He knows he promised Bradley to not get in the middle of this - even Penny told him to stay out of it, yet he can’t help it. You and Bradley were childhood best friends. He never would have imagined you’d stop talking to each other, in particular because of him. That’s why he can’t stay silent. He might have been the cause of your conflit but he wants to be the reason for your reconciliation. Furthermore, he knows he can reason you and with this last information, he was hoping it’d make you change your mind. Pete can’t help but feel a heartache, understanding it’s not the case.

However, what Pete doesn’t know is that your conversation has affected you. That night, you can’t seem to fall asleep. Your father’s words and your story with Bradley are echoing in your head. You keep tossing and turning in your bed, desperately hoping to put your brain on hold.

Once you can’t take it anymore, you turn on your bedside lamp and stand up. You walk to your closet and open it. You take a deep breath before pushing some clothes to the side in the corner of your closet until you find a box, you haven’t opened it for years. When you had started to grieve your romance with Bradley, you had put every picture, letter and object reminding you of him in that box. You were still too attached to him to throw everything away but too hurt to keep everything next to you.

The box in your hand, you sit down and open it. Tears make their way to your eyes in an instant as soon as you find your prom photo - if your heart wasn’t hurting that much, you’d laugh at your dress. In the picture, you’re looking at each other lovingly. You wish you could go back to this moment where everything was easier.  You put the picture next to you and keep finding others from birthday parties, outings, travels you did at different ages. You hold back your tears until you read the letter he wrote for your eighteenth birthday. At that moment, it becomes too much so you quickly put everything back at its place and go back to bed.

Of course, you’re still hurting from your breakup. Bradley was the most important person to you though you can’t forget the way it ended. With what your father told you, Bradley seems to be the Bradley you used to love once more but you can’t risk another heartbreak. 

For the first time in ten years, your heart seems torn between staying mad at Bradley or hearing him out. You try to reason yourself, remembering why you’re angry at him in the first place, though it’s complicated now.

Sitting at the restaurant near Top Gun, you finish telling your order to the waiter. Once he leaves, you grab your phone and send a text to your father to inform him you’ve already ordered. You’re supposed to eat with Pete who is more than thirty minutes late and quite frankly, you’re starving. You don’t worry when you get no response, knowing he probably hasn’t finished working yet. 

While waiting for your food, you keep checking your phone until the hostess comes to you. Expecting to see your dad, you put your phone down, smiling. Your smile disappears as soon as you see Bradley. The woman wishes you a nice meal before leaving you two alone. Bradley is uncomfortable because of the look you’re giving.

“What are you doing here ?” you question, drily.

“Huh, I’m supposed to eat with Mav’.”

“No, I am supposed to eat with him and…”, you start before understanding the conversation, “I can’t believe he did that.” you sigh, making Bradley frown. “He’s set it up to be sure we’d see each other. Look, I’ve already ordered and I’m sure you don’t have a lot of time left before you have to get back to work so we can eat together.”

“You don't mind ?”

“It’s just for a meal.” you say as he sits down. “I see you’re still punctual.” you comment, sarcastically, Bradley looks at you confused. “I was supposed to meet my dad at noon. You’re thirty minutes late.” you inform, checking your notifications on your phone.

“He told me he reserved for half past twelve.”

“He really thought about everything.”

The waiter gives you your meal then, he takes Bradley’s order before going back to the kitchen.

You start eating silently. Bradley doesn’t stop moving on his seat, not knowing how to act around you. You don’t like the palpable tension either, you’re in the same situation as him. Before, your conversations didn’t have an end, a subject would always appear naturally. Now, you think twice before speaking, not wanting to create an awkward moment.

You stay in this heavy silence until the waiter gives Bradley his plate. Bradley sighs in relief, finally having something to do instead of being uncomfortable. When you’re done eating, you take a sip of your glass of water before talking.

“My father told me what you did for him on your last mission. Thank you for coming back for him.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I could have never left Mav’ behind.” Bradley genuinely states.

You smile at him quickly and Bradley takes this start of conversation as a small victory. He’s grateful for Pete’s help, even if he didn’t listen to him. Bradley tells himself that this moment is his only chance to fix his wrongs with you so he finishes eating the piece of meat he has in his mouth and clears his throat to catch your attention.

“Y/N, can I talk to you ? You don’t have to say anything. I’d be happy if you only listened to me.”

“Go ahead.”

Bradley take a deep breath before looking deeply in your eyes and starting to speak : 

“Look, I know I messed up with you. I’ll forever feel bad for the way we broke up. I should have come at your birthday and-”

“Are you seriously talking about that ?” you question, in disbelief. “Bradley, it’s not the thing-”

“I know I did worse.” he interrupts you, knowing what you were going to say. “I know your birthday isn’t what hurt you the most, the fact is, it was your breaking point. Had I come, we might have found a solution, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m sorry for that night, I know I hurt you by not coming. I also know I broke your heart by ignoring you and your dad after we broke up or with what I said. I know it’s not an excuse but I was in this awful period of my life and I had to exteriorize what I was feeling and when Pete pulled my paper, it was on him then on you. I never should have lashed out on you because our relationship got damaged and that affacted our friendship, too, and for this, I’d forever be mad at myself. I should have prioritised you. I hate knowing I made you cry. I never would have thought I’d be the cause of your pain. I’m sincerely sorry for everything, above all I’m sorry for breaking my promise. If I could, I’d go back in time, I’d do everything to not lose you, to not break my promise. And maybe I’m pushing my luck right now but you’ve listened to me this far so I might as well say it ;  if you agreed to give me another chance, I’d love to be a part of your life again. You still mean a lot to me.”

Bradley finally breathes once he’s done talking. He’s sick in his stomach, fearing your reaction. Before, he could predict what you were gonna say or do with just one look. He doesn’t like the way you’ve become strangers. You need a few seconds to take in what he told you before replying.

“Thank you for everything you said. I appreciate your apologies but I need time.” you confess before looking at the time on your phone. “I have to go. I’m gonna pay.”

“I can totally-”

“I insist. Take this as a thank you for my father. Goodbye Bradley.”

Contrary to ten years ago, your goodbye is full of nostalgia and not of bitterness. Bradley stays static for a few moments, eyes on the restaurant’s door you’ve just walked through. Sure, nothing is done yet. You didn’t say you wanted him in your life again however you listened to him and that’s all that matters. He can only hope this victory is big enough to bring you back to him.

The next few days and nights, you’re lost in your thoughts which have Bradley as a main character. You think back to his words and specifically of the way you two used to be before everything bad happened. You were fine, close and in love. The months after your breakup, you wanted to have this once more, before your hurt turned into anger. If Bradley had tried apologising at that moment and not a year later, you would have forgiven him in a heartbeat. 

Now, you’re hesitating. You’re scared there’s going to be another conflict and Bradley decides to cut you out of his life once more. You wouldn’t handle it if it were to happen. Though, you wish to have Bradley in your life one more time. 

While you’re thinking, you see Bradley occasionally as he comes to your place. You don’t talk but you observe him and a part of you wants to have him close. Pete keeps speaking up for Bradley, more or less discreetly. All of this is making you change your mind and breaking the walls you had built around your heart.

After another night of staying awake, you tell yourself it’s time to speak with Bradley. You can’t stay like this anymore. Therefore, when the sun is up, you muster up your courage and call Bradley. You tell him to meet you at your place at a certain hour at the end of the afternoon, knowing Pete will be with Penny so you’ll be alone.

Your anxiety at its highest, you’re sitting on your couch and playing with a loose strand of a pillow. Despite the TV on, your eyes go from the door then to the time on your phone. There’s a knot in your stomach as you have a feeling of déjà vu.

You feel like you’re twenty-three once again, in your old house with your party dress and your red lipstick, waiting desperately for Bradley, only this time, he arrives on time, like he promised. Indeed, five minutes later, you hear a car parking in your driveway before someone knocks on your door. With one movement, you stand up after turning off the TV then, you open the door, finding Bradley, putting his Hawaiian shirt back in place. You let him in and you go to your living room.

When you’re sitting next to each other, your stress grows stronger. Was this a good idea ? What if now it was too late for him ? What if he got tired of waiting for so long ? As for Bradley, his mind is not at ease either : ‘maybe she just wants to tell me face to face she doesn’t want to see me anymore ? Or maybe in addition to her life, she doesn’t want me in Mav’s life either ?’. Finally, you’re the one cutting the tension.

“I’ve been thinking,” you begin, avoiding his gaze, “about what you told me and about us.” you state, setting your eyes on him. “Although I appreciate your apology, a part of me can’t help but think back to all the times where you apologised just to hurt me every chance you got.” you keep saying and Bradley’s heart tightens in his chest. “Though, I want to believe this time will be different. After all, if it worked out between you and my dad, why not us ? I want to forgive you, have you in my life again, however it’s the last time I forgive you, I won’t have the strength to do this one more time. I don’t know if we’ll ever have what we used to have and maybe our friendship will never be as strong as it used to be but I miss you so much. I miss my best friend.” you confess, tears in your eyes.

“I miss you so much, too, Y/N.”

“If it’s not too late for you, I still want you in my life as well.” you whisper, avoiding his gaze.

“You’ve always been the one I want, it’s never been too late for me.” Bradley affirms with a determined voice, putting his hand on your cheek. “I promise you it’s the last time, I won’t hurt you anymore and you will not lose me either and I will really keep these promises.”

Without thinking, you throw yourself in Bradley’s arms and hold against you the person you missed the most the past ten years.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Part one

[andillneverbethesame]

begin again - j.p

❥ james potter x fem reader

❥ summary; after months of getting over a rough break up, you're ready to start again

❥ warnings; none?? i think?? just mentions of past shitty relationship

❥ word count; 1,375

❥ a/n; based off begin again by taylor swift (i prob want to start writing more fics based of taylor songs so write ur ideas in the comments)

you took a deep breath and starred at yourself in the mirror. your hair was in a braid that fell down your back. you were wearing a red knee-length dress that you bought for this date and you wore heels of the same colour.

you had thought, "should i really wear those heels? maybe i should take them off." but then you realized you wanted to wear them. you realized there was no one to tell you what to wear anymore so you kept them on.

after the last check you looked okay, you headed to the hall of your flat. you put on a beige coat and you didn't forget your headphones.

one of your favourite songs started playing. the one he never liked, the one he never understood, the one he would skip to some of his unknown indie bands when you two were in his car. thousands of memories came to flood your mind but you didn't turn off the song, no, you turned off the lock, sighed and headed outside.

i should've taken a nice long walk to calm down my nerves, you thought as the bus comes to a stop close to the café you and james were meeting in. you were too early.

you soon were standing in front of the café, nerves were covering every inch of your body and you felt like you were going to vomit any second.

you checked the time again. it was 2:35p.m.

what will james think of me if he finds out i am almost 30 minutes early to this date?

you were sure he wasn't going to be there yet. you knew james from work and he was always late, even to important events.

you walked into the café, welcoming the warmth after standing in a colder november weather. you took off your headphones and looked around, searching for an empty table.

and that's when your eyes landed on him. he noticed you too. he stood up and waved at you with a smile. james was wearing a red jumper and black trousers. you realized that his black hair were much less messy than when you see him at work. he tried to style it for this date. for you. the thought made butterflies fly in your belly.

when you reached his table, he pulled out the chair, took off your coat and helped you get comfortable.

wow, this is nice. he had never done this.

"you're early," you commented, trying to hide your smile and blush.

"well, i'm not going to screw a date up before it even begins, am i? and, by the way, so are you."

he had never come on time on our dates.

"you look very beautiful, by the way," james said, making blood rush into your cheeks at the speed of light. "red suits you very well."

"you don't look bad yourself," you complimented him back. "although, i must admit i like you better with your hair all messy."

he chuckled. what a wonderful sound.

"i thought girls don't like it."

"but do you?"

he shrugged. "yeah."

"then you should style it how you want," you advised.

he stared you for a second and then said, "you're very wise."

you smiled and look at your lap.

he always thought i was a dumb fool.

the waitress came and you ordered your coffees. james likes his sweet and you do too. he never did, though. he liked his coffee black just like his soul.

you two talked for hours. about your childhood, adulthood, family, almost everything. well, mainly james talked. you preferred to listen and add something then and there.

but then james suddenly stopped talking and shook his head.

"i'm sorry," he apologised. "i get very excited when someone is interested in me. i could talk for hours without stopping. i sincerely apologise. now, you tell me something about yourself."

"uh," you said. he always talked about himself and never cared what you got to say. you weren't used to it. "i haven't— i haven't got much to say."

"oh, come on, you don't need to be shy with me, love," he winked at you and slightly giggled. and then, you talked so much you were afraid you were going to talk his ears off but that fear quickly vanished when he kept asking questions about you. he wanted to know you. he wanted to know what you like and what you don't. you've never felt so interesting before. you couldn't when he never let you say anything, always pushing you down with his words and actions.

at one point, james threw his head back and laughed, gaining attention of the people around you two.

"you're hilarious, you know that?" he was still laughing, like a little kid.

you didn't. it was strange james thought that because he never did.

you've spent months getting over him though you haven't gone on a date cause you were worried the love would quickly come to an end.

but on a wednesday, in a café, you watched it begin again.

begin again begin again begin again begin again begin

next week, on a second date, you and james ended up in your flat. he immediately commented how cozy it is as you showed him around.

when you two came into your room, james perked up at the amount of vinyls in the corner of your bedroom.

he came a little closer and you watched him anxiously, hoping he will like your music taste.

"wow!" he breathed out. "i had never met a girl who has as many james taylor records as me!"

you chuckled, relieved. "well, i do."

"do you mind putting it on?" he asked, still admiring them.

"no, not at all," you answered. "go ahead."

after a minute or so, he pulled out fire and rain by taylor. he started slowly dancing and handed you his hand. you took it without hesitation.

you two danced throughout the whole song, complimemting each other's moves as you did so. at the end, your head was on his chest and his arms around your middle. you felt so comfortable with him and even after the song started again, you and james just stood there in the middle of the room, slightly swinging.

you knew that when you hear this song from now on, you wouldn't think of him rolling his eyes at your music taste. you wouldn't hear his voice in the back of your mind, complaining about everything. you would think of you and james dancing in your bedroom as you gave chance to love again.

when it was getting late and you and james had finished the film you watched (it was grinch, you both were in a mood for christmas film). you walked him outside to his car.

"you will have to tell me more about the films your family watches every christmas next time," you said.

james grinned at you. "next time, huh?"

"we-well, yeah. . . if you want."

"i very much want a next time, yes."

"okay, good."

you two stood there for a minute awkward silence, just looking at each other. you watched him take a deep breath.

"i, um, can i kiss you?"

you didn't wait a second to think it through. you nodded eagerly and james smiled, finding it adorable.

he took your face in his palms and leaned in, giving your lips a sweet kiss and you felt your knees getting weak. when he pulled away, you both smiled at each other.

"good night, james," you whispered.

"good night, y/n," he replied. he got into his car and opened his window to say, "have sweet dreams. about me." he winked at you, making you blush, before driving away.

you stood on the street, your fingers on your lips, still feeling james there. you liked him very much and at that moment, there was no one else in the world. only you and him, problems and fears far away.

it was early to wonder if this could work but you wished badly it would.

something great was brewing and you could feel it in your bones. you've been afraid to love but then at the end of november, late in the night on the street in london, you watched it begin again.

[reverse-moon]

For @the-overanalyst

Based on: This post

Summary: "FUCK OFF ENA MY SURROGATE FAMILY GO FIND A DIFFERENT CITY FOR YOURS"

Constant looking around seemed to payoff. She finally found Weekend Garage, a supposedly super place. If Akito could be trusted. Then again, wasn't this also Shraishi's place...?

Sighing a bit, Ena pushed open the doors and looked around before being greeted. “Ena-san!!”

“An. Hi.” Okay, this was her place. Maybe Akito wasn't lying.

“Can't stay long, practice, BYE!” An said, rushing over to the door.

“Take care, An.” Ena jumped a bit, noticing the man behind the counter smile.

“LATER DAD, I'll bring Kohane and Toya by!” And like that, the younger girl was gone. Ena turned back to the man and waved in a nervous way.

“No need to panic. I'm just the owner of the place. Not gonna hurt a new patron.” His chuckled seemed to calm Ena's nerves as she made her way over to a barstool.

“Right... It's Ken, yes? My brother keeps raving and ranting about this place and a Ken...” Ena asked.

“Shiraishi Ken, at your service. You Akito's sister?” He cut to the chase, making a small platter of food.

“Ah... Yes.” Ena smiled. “Bet he says all bad things, hm?”

“Only half of the time. The other half is things he thinks are insulting but just show how much he cares.” Ken chuckled. “Feel free to stay as long as you need to. Any orders are on me, okay?”

Ena blinked. “W-Wait, isn't that bad for business...?” A small smile and an eyebrow raise told her he probably didn't care. “Th-Thank you!” He moved away to serve a different customer as Ena pulled her sketchbook out.

A deep breath in as she looked at the stage. It seemed like a good place to start...

About thirty minutes later, a small group came in, greeted by Ken. She vaguely caught when they asked to sing, and watched them move to the stage. It was a good opportunity to practice emotions, so Ena started sketching the faces. Two hours later, the page was filled with singers faces, parts of the restaurant and she had started combining the things on a different page.

“Mind if I see what you have so far?” Ena jolted as Ken asked, looking up. “You were drawing all day, right?”

A nod, and Ena slowly showed Ken the work. He looked over the page, the small smile never leaving. Each moment passing caused Ena to tense more, bracing for the worst.

“I think it's pretty perfect. To me, you caught the way the singers were having fun really well, along with the song messages. I don't know much about art composition, I only know what my roommate from college told me. But I think that's pretty good too.” Ena blinked. “I think my only suggestion is add colour when you can. Bright ones, if you think it fits.”

“Wh...” Ena looked at her work. She was sure it was bad. A customer came over to pay and noticed the art, before agreeing with Ken and waving goodbye. She looked at the art again. “But... My teacher would s—”

“Art is subjective, right? Sure there are rules to try and make it more appealing to the masses, but if it even makes one person feel something besides ‘ew, that looks bad’, I think it's done it's job.” Ken added, handing the sketchbook back. “So. I'd say this art is good since it's resonated with at least 2 people.”

Just as Ena was about to thank him for the confidence boost, the door of the restaurant burst open. All Ken could do was chuckle as Ena blinked in confusion.

“GET YOUR OWN SURROGATE DAD!” Akito yelled. Ena huffed and got angry right back.

“All I did was get a bit of an eye opener, shut up! Besides, I wouldn't have just wandered in if you took me here before once!” Akito scoffed as he stormed in, followed by the rest of Vivid BAD SQUAD chuckling.

“YOU DON'T SEE ME ADDING YOUR GROUP ON NIGHTCORD?!” Akito huffed.

“Jokes on you, Mizuki has tried like 4 times to add you so that threat doesn't bother me!” Ena shot back.

Ken clapped his hands. “How about you two bicker through song. You are on Vivid Street.”

“BEAT HIM, ENA-SAN!!” An cheered. The siblings looked at each other then took off to the stage.

All the while, Ken simply smiled and chuckled.

[laurfilijames]

Like My Dreams

Part 3

Pete Dunham Masterlist

Intro Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: Pete Dunham x female reader

Words: 5.4k

Warnings: 18+ only. This is not smut yet but ohhh we're close! Swearing. Alcohol consumption. Sexual tension. Steamy make-out sesh and partial nudity. Dry humping. It's just so fluffy and romantic.

Summary: You and Pete are finally able to have your date, making up for lost time while hoping it stands still so you can indulge in the excitement of the start of your relationship.

A/N: I will continue to shout from the rooftops my love for this hooligan until the end of time and now I'm making it your problem. I've had two songs inspiring me for this portion of the story so please have a listen to help set the mood of the chapter.

---

"Eh, Ned, what's that pasta recipe you're always going on about?" Pete asked, straddling the stool as he sat down with a fresh pint.

"Easy, mate," he shrugged, popping a handful of peanuts in his mouth before listing off a slew of ingredients used to make his pasta that they all fought for leftovers of, Pete scribbling notes down on a napkin.

"...tomatoes, then some fresh basil…"

"Wait, hang on…"

"Add in the cream, but after the sauce has simmered, you don't want it too hot when you add it in-"

"I said, hang on!" Pete shouted, finding himself frustrated by how loud the others were being as he was trying to get everything down.

"Nah, mate, you've got to save some of the water from the pasta after it's boiled instead of cream," Swill chimed in, obnoxiously leaning over Dave to get his advice in.

An argument broke out between Ned and Swill over the best way to make the sauce, leaving Pete to sigh out of disbelief at how something so simple could go so awry when it came to his friends, and he looked at Dave exasperatedly for help, opening his hands so his palms faced upward in defeat.

Dave shook his head and smirked, leaning closer so Pete could hear him over the chaos, a heated debate whether canned or fresh tomatoes were better the current topic causing the scene.

"A little bit of both, mate, makes the sauce nice and silky and helps bind it together. Clair swears by it."

He knocked his glass against Pete's and took a long drink of his beer before helping him complete his list of ingredients and recipe to follow, allowing Pete to feel more confident about making sure this meal would be perfect.

The plan was for you to come over to his the following night, a way to make up for the missed date due to your car accident, wanting to stay in since you still weren't feeling completely back to normal from your injuries despite it having been nearly two weeks since it happened.

"You excited then?" Dave asked, catching Pete lost in his thoughts.

He grinned, "Yeah, mate. Really looking forward to it." Pete spun his glass on the lacquered table, unable to stop himself from grinning even more.

He had seen you briefly over the span of your recovery, visiting as much as he could, but now that you were on the mend and starting to feel more yourself, the anticipation of finally having that official date with you had him buzzing.

"So, how did you…know?" he asked Dave, rubbing his hands on his thighs before returning them to the table to fiddle with the paper peeling at the edge of the Foster's coaster he'd been working at for hours now.

"Know…?" Dave questioned, his brows knitting as he took a drink, not breaking eye contact with Pete.

Pete sighed and gestured as if his question was the most obvious thing, making Dave nod and quickly swallow his beer.

"Oh!" he choked. "Know? Yeah, I mean, it sounds cliché, but you just…know."

"So that's how it was with you and Clair?"

Dave nodded, his smile big and genuine. "I immediately knew it. It was different."

Pete hummed, looking up at the telly.

"You think it is then, eh?" Dave nudged his arm.

"Yeah, mate."

"Pleased for ya, mate, I really am." Dave smiled. "Don't hold back on it either."

Pete nodded, knowing he wouldn't, not after life had nearly left him without the opportunity to find love at all outside of football and his firm and feeling more than ready to go all-in on it.

Pete's Saturday had been spent shopping and cleaning, prepping all his supplies for the full Italian dinner he was preparing for you while frantically making sure his mangy flat was looking as good as it could, his usual contented feelings toward it replaced by an inadequacy he rarely experienced.

He debated untacking the West Ham United flag from the wall that he had made when he was about eight years old, the juvenility of it screaming at him each time he passed it, ultimately ignoring it altogether as he got distracted in tidying his poor excuse of a kitchen and attempting to organize the chaos that was his record and book collection that had been shifted into piles around his coffee table rather than their rightful places on shelves.

His heart stopped each time his phone vibrated with a text, assuming it would be you canceling because you weren't feeling well enough or something else finding its way in to disrupt your date again, only to breathe a heavy sigh of relief to see it was one of the lads.

Hours passed, and finally he was beginning to prep dinner, wanting most of it done so he would be able to spend as much time focused on you as he could, but also abiding by your wishes to help him cook as you had insisted on wanting to do the last time he spoke with you.

A knock on his door stopped him from chopping garlic, smiling as he wiped his hands on the tea towel sitting on the counter and walked through to answer it, turning down the volume on his record player as he passed.

"Hiya, gorgeous," he greeted, his smile stopped from spreading across his cheeks when he took in the sight of you, biting his lip instead. "Wow!"

"Hi, Pete," you purred, your voice making him thrum with desire.

He stepped out of the way to let you inside, his eyes locked on you the entire time, watching your own smile grow as it was clear you felt him admiring you.

"What?" you asked, peeling your jacket off and handing it to him as he held out his hand to take it.

He frowned and shook his head. "Nothing," he lied. "You just seem to get more beautiful each time I see you."

"You saw me four days ago."

"And you got more beautiful since," he whispered, leaning in close as he reached behind you to hang your coat on a hook amongst his own on the wall nearest where you stood.

"It smells incredible in here," you complimented, referring mostly to his cologne that made you feel a different sort of hunger, needing to speak in order to distract from the tension that hung between you, the yearning to kiss each other heavy in the air.

"Thanks," he smiled, strutting over to the small kitchen, stirring the beginning of what was the sauce in the pan.

Pete absentmindedly whisked as he looked at you looking around his flat, no longer feeling nervous or ashamed about having you here thanks to your genuine curiosity in his space and things, your presence in his home and amongst his belongings seeming so perfectly natural and effortlessly comfortable.

You loved it from the moment you stepped a foot inside; his flat homey and welcoming, filled floor to ceiling with all the things that held importance to him and helped make up who he was.

West Ham paraphernalia was scattered everywhere, alternating between band posters and shelves and cabinets containing CD's, books and records, the little spaces left fitting in the necessary everyday items, making it clear what held the most importance to him.

Your fingers slid across each record as you scanned over his collection, reading the familiar names of all the same bands you loved and had listened to your whole life, the edges of each sleeve worn from use and time.

"A lot of those were Dad's," he explained, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

You turned your head to look at him, a sort of solemn expression present on his face.

"Steve was pissed that he'd left them all to me, but they wouldn't have gone with that wanker's stuffy, modern decor," he laughed. "It's been close to twenty years, and I still feel close to him whenever I play them."

"That's really nice, Pete," you said, smiling at him before stepping over to one of his book shelves, stooping and tilting your head to see the titles. You pulled one off the shelf and flipped through it, the musty scent a welcomed one, and your heart swelled when you came upon his notes scribbled across some of the pages. Tucking it back in its place, you breathed in and continued to look around, admiring the varied compilation of things accumulated over the years that told the story of him and put on display a physicality of his personality, his character portrayed in all the words in those books and lyrics in the music he listened to.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, watching you from across the counter that he leaned against.

"Hmm? Yeah," you replied, your answer somewhat distracted as you were lost thinking about how perfect he was and how you longed to know everything about him. "Is there anything I can help with?"

Pete frowned and shook his head, unfolding his arms from his chest as he stirred the noodles floating in the bubbling water. "Nah, you're alright. You just stay there and continue to give me something nice to look at."

The wink he shot you went straight to your core, finding yourself unable to do as you were told as you slowly made your way around the counter and into the kitchen with him, standing as close to him as you could get. You picked up the bunch of fresh basil sitting beside the bowl of freshly grated parmesan and began to carefully tear each of the leaves into small pieces, the fragrant herb mixing in with the intoxicating smell of garlic and tomatoes, your arms brushing against each other as you both worked.

"I'm happy you're here," Pete whispered, glancing over at you, licking his lips while his blue eyes held an intensity you hadn't seen in them yet.

"Thank you for having me."

You hadn't noticed your hands halting in their duty, letting the leaves you held fall onto the counter as you turned your body to face Pete while he did the same.

The brightest smile spread across his cheeks, his hands reaching up to cup your face, and still smiling, he leaned into you and gently met your lips with his, a light chuckle sounding from him as he kissed you.

You couldn't stop the soft moan that passed through your mouth as he continued to tease your lips with his, carefully exploring and tasting and feeling you against him, the dizziness you felt when you closed your eyes and let yourself melt into the moment not on account of your lingering concussion.

Pete inhaled deeply, his fingers tightening their hold on your cheeks ever so slightly as he breathed you in, deepening his kiss before pulling away.

The way he looked at you as he licked his lips had you wanting to feel his tongue against yours again, but seeing his satisfied and entirely sweet smile made you hesitant to want to miss such a view in exchange for his craveable kiss.

"I couldn't wait to do that," you admitted, your tone breathy.

He smirked, his thumbs grazing your skin as his gaze dropped to your mouth, "Me neither."

Pete flicked the burners off on the stove and gave the sauce a quick stir before turning his attention back to you.

"Now forgive me, because I don't think I'll be able to stop."

It was your turn to smile and laugh as he captured your lips with his again, more boldly this time, your hands roaming his body as his wrapped around your back and pulled you closer into him.

"That was by far the best pasta I've ever had," you praised, taking a sip from your wine glass as Pete stood and collected your empty plates, his strut full of confidence as he took them into the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I mean it! Thank you."

"My pleasure," he winked, returning over to the table where he braced his arms on it, leaning down to kiss you slowly and sensually.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from you, standing tall while he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded over to his sofa, holding his hand out for you to take as you stood from your seat.

"Oh, I love this song," you said excitedly, hearing "In My Life" by The Beatles start to play, making Pete stop in his route and turn to look at you curiously.

"Do you?"

"Mhm…" you hummed, nodding as he faced you and smoothed his hands up your arms.

"Dance with me," he requested, slipping his hand into yours as his other landed on the small of your back, allowing you to happily step closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder. He swayed on the spot with you, the focus of your dance not on moving too much but rather to feel each other and have an excuse to be close, the sound of his heartbeat sweeter than the song could ever be.

The two and a half minutes seemed to fly by faster than usual, disappointing you slightly when it ended and the next tune began, but like Pete sensed your disappointment and felt the same, he kissed your forehead before releasing his hold on you and went over to the record player, moving the needle to start the track over.

He walked back over to you and wrapped you in his arms again, holding you tighter and closer than before, his forehead resting on yours as he resumed moving in subtle motions. You tipped your head so your nose brushed along his jawline, inching your mouth closer to his where he graciously accepted your offer and parted his lips for you.

Sighing into his mouth, your hands traveled up his back and into his hair, the buzzed cut of it feeling incredibly soft and almost velvety on your palms, and with each pass of your tongues and brush of your lips, you sank further and further into your growing feelings for him.

Every part of you that his hands and mouth touched sparked with electricity, leaving a reminiscent tingle that you swore you would be able to feel for days after, and with your dancing having been abandoned now for the duration of the song plus another, you thought how stopping yourself from kissing him was going to be impossible to do.

Pete briefly paused the movement of his lips, peeling himself away from you to guide you over to the sofa, sitting on it with his legs spread wide as he looked up at you adoringly, his thumbs rubbing over the tops of your hands that he still held.

You freed your hands from his, gently carding them up the column of his neck to his jaw, watching him close his eyes as he relished in your touch, bringing your face down to press a kiss on his perfect lips again.

Letting your hands fall from his cheeks down to his shoulders, you used him for support as you straddled his lap, eliciting a low groan from him as you seated yourself on his groin, his mouth flying to meet yours enthusiastically in response.

Your breath shook out of your lungs when you felt his cock hardening against you, the noises that spilled from his mouth into yours encouraging you to grind and rock lightly as you kissed each other harder, your hands tearing along his toned upper back and up over his head, raking your fingers carelessly through his hair.

"Pete…" you murmured, losing yourself in the euphoria of this, his lips marking a trail along your jawline and onto your neck, his teeth nipping and grazing your skin that caused goosebumps to erupt on you from head to toe.

He loved the sound of his name coming off your lips half as much as he loved your smell and taste, and a desperate feeling to discover all of you overcame him, his breathing ragged as everything began to intensify.

Time passed by without notice, the record that had been playing stopped long ago, the only sounds filling the quiet of his flat those of your wet lips eagerly meeting and your panting breaths. Your quiet moans and whimpers were driving him mad in the most craveable way, something he would endure endless hours of torture in order to hear, feeling constantly torn between wanting to take things slow and giving in to every desire that roared in him.

Aware of your healing injury, Pete carefully slipped his hand under your shirt and ghosted his fingers along your waist, feeling you contract slightly and press your mouth harder on his. Worried he had hurt you, he went to move his hand away, only to be stopped when you grabbed it and placed it back on your tender ribs, silently granting him permission to continue, your trust in him to treat you delicately coming off loud.

Slowly, and with a small wince, you lifted your arms above your head, allowing him to pull your shirt off, his hands smoothing over your warm, soft skin after tossing it somewhere on the floor.

His lips found your collarbone, kissing across it and onto your shoulder, then slowly back again where he caressed up your neck, his nose brushing along lightly as he drank you in.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered, his lips moving on your skin when he spoke.

The way Pete made you smile was unimaginable, and even in this tender and intimate moment, you couldn’t help yourself, feeling radiant in his worship of you.

He placed another kiss on your neck before glancing up at you, seeing you beaming, his seriousness replaced by joy the second he saw your face.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed him close, giggling when he rubbed his face in the crook of your neck, his own laugh resounding against you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, Pete,” you whispered, your smile fading as you took one of your hands and touched his lips with your fingers, your eyes focused on every little detail of his face. The scars on his cheek and right eyebrow where the hair refused to grow back, faded bruises and the mole on the left side of his face between his nose and mouth, the bleached stubble that had been working its way up through his skin after a couple of days of being left unattended; all things that made him the gorgeous man he was and that you would never tire of seeing.

His eyes closed as he relaxed to your touch, his head tipping back slightly, allowing you an even better view of his perfect features. Blond eyelashes danced on his cheeks while you traced your fingertip down his nose and into the crease that flanked his mouth, over his bottom lip to the other side where you matched the same pattern, his deep sigh blowing out on your hand.

There were moments Pete could've sworn he actually had died, that there was no possible way things could be this perfect and the only answer for it was that he was either dreaming or in heaven, proving to him there was no such notion as hell existing.

This was one of those moments.

Your hands smoothed up his chest, parting his shirt where the buttons that held it together had been undone, his heart racing the longer you made contact with his bare skin.

As much as he wanted to have all of you tonight, he was desperate to savour every moment and experience you little by little, falling more in love with you with each kiss and caress, content in waiting to get to the sex if it meant prolonging all of this.

His mouth kissed along your shoulder, pushing the strap of your bra down as he went, his hands occupied by slowly rubbing your back and bum.

It was difficult to control his breathing, his lungs filling and emptying quicker than normal, feeling completely intoxicated and worked up the more he attempted to keep calm.

He wanted to taste and smell each part of you, committing it to memory so even when he wasn’t with you he could recall it, the sweet flavour of your skin making his mouth water as it transferred past his lips and onto his tongue.

“Fuck…” he muttered, his growl restricted in his throat, his spit smearing across your shoulder as he moved his mouth over to your neck.

The soft whine of his name echoed in his ears as it spilled from your beautiful pout, drawing him into reality where he peeled himself away from you enough to look at you as he leaned his back against the sofa.

He licked his lips, watching as you carefully finished removing the straps of your bra down your arms before reaching behind you to unhook the clasps, his heart hammering in his chest while more blood rushed to his throbbing cock.

It was hard to remember having anticipated anything more, time standing still as an anxious energy filled him, waiting with shattering patience as you slowly peeled your lace bra away from your chest and exposed yourself to him.

Swallowing thickly, he admired you for a moment, bringing his hands up to hold your face and pull you into him, meeting you in the middle where he claimed your mouth with a loving demand.

Shivers erupted down his spine when you tore his shirt off his shoulders, and he hurriedly assisted in tugging his arms out of the sleeves in order to get back to grasping onto you, the heat of your skin radiating onto his palms.

You broke the seal of your lips so you could see him, Pete smiling faintly as he allowed you to, your fingers brushing over his chest where his West Ham tattoo was etched proudly.

Your hands slipped up his neck and onto his face, bringing yourself closer to him again with an arch of your back, your lips crashing into his in a heated kiss, your torsos flush to one another.

The sensation of your bare skin against his was euphoric and more proof that this was too good to be true, your hard nipple and soft breast gliding along the claret red, pale blue and gold crest inked into his pec seeming incredibly erotic and visceral, your body melting into his.

Minutes that turned into hours ticked by like this; you sitting firmly on his lap, languidly grinding yourself against him while you kissed until your lips were made raw, causing Pete to become an addict, the thought of letting any amount of time between his next fix of you unbearable.

He was in love and he knew it, his heart beating with yours in a steady thrum that he had never experienced before, the wonder of you so new yet so familiar he could hardly wrap his head around it.

The contentment he felt in simply kissing you and discovering all the intricate details of your body was awe-inspiring, his patience to wait and indulge in exploring everything about you a contrast to what usually happened; rushing to scratch an itch with someone he wasn’t even fussed over, each meaningless shag a quick fix out of convenience more than anything else.

His lips and fingers took turns skimming over your form, floating over your collarbone and chest, brushing gently enough it filled you with an ache for more, your pleas coming out in needy moans and shuddering breaths.

Aware it was late but unsure of exactly what time of the night it was, Pete hoped you were also happy to ignore the clock and everything else that would serve as a distraction from each other, wanting you to stay in his arms for as long as he could possibly have you.

He smiled when you seemed to be reading his mind, your lips moving against his cheek when you spoke quietly.

“I don’t want to go home,” you admitted, the way you whispered it revealing your hesitation in doing so.

“You don’t have to,” he offered, looking up at you with all the adoration he held for you in his heart, feeling a sense of nervousness drum in his chest at the prospect of you staying the night.

“You sure?”

“Stay with me.”

Pete let out the breath he had been holding when you smiled and tugged your bottom lip in your teeth, nodding excitedly while shifting on his lap, your arms linking around his neck. He flashed a crooked smile, feeling his eyes brighten amidst everything else in his body, chuckling slightly as he leaned into you for another kiss while your fingers raked another path through his short hair just as they had countless times already.

You eventually made it into his bedroom, opting for the comfort of his bed rather than his sofa, your arms and legs tangled in a mess as you continued to kiss and cuddle until your lips stopped their movements and sleep took over.

Even though it had only been for a couple of hours at most, you woke up feeling rested and elated, being in Pete’s arms while wearing one of his jumpers and only your panties the perfect way to slowly wake, knowing you wanted to start each day just like this from now on.

You risked disturbing him by touching his lips, carefully tracing the borders of them as he slept, feeling desperate to feel them against you again despite having had them grace nearly every part of you all night.

You yelped when Pete suddenly chomped at your finger, his laugh sounding out through the otherwise quiet of the room as he rolled overtop of you, caging you in under his body. His face dug into your neck, kissing and aggressively rubbing his stubbled cheeks and chin against your sensitive skin, tickling you enough he had you squirming beneath him and laughing hysterically.

He stopped his attack, his laugh dying out into a smile as he peered down at you, his hand reaching up to your face where he trailed his fingers across your cheek lovingly.

“Morning, sunshine,” he purred.

“Good morning, Pete,” you greeted quietly, admiring the way his blue eyes lit up even more at the sound of his name.

“I quite like having you in my bed,” he said pointedly, his fingers plucking at the material that covered your otherwise bare skin. “Wearing my jumper…”

“I hope you know how happy I am to be here.”

He smiled bigger and leaned down to kiss you once, then twice, before pulling away with a small growl out of restraint.

“I do know it.”

“Good.”

Pete met your lips again, forcing the grin on your face to fade out as you became consumed by the feel of his tongue moving against yours, his lips pressing into yours eagerly.

Before getting carried away, he stopped, biting his lip to help prevent himself from crashing into you again, pulling himself off of you with a groan.

“I’ll make us a brew, yeah?”

“That sounds perfect.”

You happily watched as Pete strode through the room with as much confidence as ever, admiring the way his track pants hung low on his hips, a glance back over his shoulder accompanied by a cocky smirk making you melt into his sheets even more.

Returning a few minutes later with two West Ham mugs in hand, Pete kneeled on the bed and waited for you to prop yourself up against the headboard, adjusting the pillows so there was somewhere comfortable for you both to lean against. You took one from him and cupped it appreciatively, the warmth of it spreading through your palms like a welcomed hug as he somewhat carefully plopped himself down on the mattress beside you, his tea threatening to spill out over the top.

It was hard not to stare at him, and you found yourself grateful for him sitting directly beside you rather than in front of you, the constant need to cast your eyes on every inch of his bare, sculpted torso and the tattoos that decorated his ivory skin too much to deny.

Pete looked at you, his grin making you beam, and using your mug to hide your smile, you took a long sip, savouring the heat of the perfectly made cuppa as it slipped down your throat.

His hand landed on your thigh and gave it a squeeze as he took a drink of his own, facing forward to stare at his wall that was adorned end to end in a Hammer flag as he relished in this new reality, finding it hard to believe this was how things were turning out.

Last night was perfect. Being with you, holding you, kissing you, feeling your skin against his, talking about anything and everything whenever your lips didn’t find themselves locked together; all things that had him looking forward to more and everything in between.

“This is the best brew I've ever had,” you praised, your sweet voice bringing him out of his thoughts.

His brow hooked high on his forehead as he looked at you out of the corner of his eye, lifting his cup to his mouth again.

“How do you figure that?” he asked after swallowing the hot tea.

“Well…” you began, your hand covering his, lacing your fingers together. “I'm drinking it with you, in your bed, half naked and wearing your shirt…” you sang, your smile accessorizing your words.

Pete chuckled, nodding his head at the same time he looked down at your interlaced fingers, giving your hand a squeeze three times. “It is the best brew, innit?”

Whether it was still morning or sometime in the afternoon when you finally managed to peel away from each other, you weren't sure, your false goodbyes drawn out and spilling into the hallway over the span of many minutes, your ignorance of the clock and everything else carrying on steadily through your stay.

Pete would press himself into you again every time you managed to convince yourself to back away, his cheeky laugh and undeniable look that hinted at all he was wanting to do to make you stay persuading you into another kiss that turned into two more, your back planted firmly against the wall leading to his flat.

The click of a neighbouring door opening distracted you only slightly, the draw of Pete’s lips luring you not to care who saw you, the feel of his naked chest and back under your palms as you roamed freely over his form capturing all of your attention.

It wasn’t until the sound of someone obviously clearing their throat at your public display broke the silence that you stopped, Pete moving his face back from yours enough to see who was disturbing him while still cupping your cheeks in his hands.

“Morning, Mrs. Platt,” he sang, his charm shining brightly and charismatically just as it did any time you witnessed him talk to anybody.

She raised her brow while giving you a thorough up and down, using her cane to press the button to call up the lift.

“It’s after noon, young lad,” she croaked, not taking her eyes off you for a second, her judgment making you feel like a teenager in trouble rather than an adult who worked a serious job and paid bills.

“Nice day, innit?” he carried on, his efforts clearly one of many attempts he had tried to win over his disapproving neighbour.

The lift door dinged as it opened, and you watched as she hobbled inside, feeling too afraid to move in fear she would make more unsolicited comments, staying frozen in place like a skittish animal.

“You’d know, wouldn’t ya? Face buried in hers.”

The door slid closed, marking her descent to the ground floor, both of you relaxing the moment it did and bursting into laughter at the interaction.

“You’re gonna get me in trouble…” he drawled, dipping his face back to yours before hungrily capturing your lips again, his body leaning into yours forcefully until you were happily wedged between him and the wall once more, feeling the growing hardness between his legs pressing into your thigh.

“I think you're already in a world of trouble, Pete.”

A dark chuckle rumbled through his chest as he humbly agreed, his grin full of mischief and promise of committing to whatever acts of passion would label him as equally guilty in the sinful pleasures you had yet to discover, his mouth hovering beside your ear as he whispered darkly, “You have no idea, darling.”

---

Part 4

Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! Please share the love of the story and know how grateful writers are to hear what you enjoyed! 💗

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Taglist:

@theesirenteller @inbar-thomas1980 @lilac13 @stealfromthedevil

[buckets-and-trees]

Can you do a part 2 to "Tiny Vessels" where Steve regrets leaving Reader and was just confused and went back to her? I hate it when Steve leaves Reader for Peggy.🥺

You know what? Yes. I also hate that he went back. I half didn't even like writing Tiny Vessels, but I still remember feeling so compelled to write it the day that I did - I think I was punishing him and wanting to add even more layers to him having made a big mistake by going back in time, so... yeah.

AND LET ME BE CLEAR - I'M NOT VEXED YOU ASKED FOR THIS, NONNIE! I'm actually pretty touched that it resonated enough for you to ask for a follow up.

Title: Don't Forget You Were the One Who Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x gn!Reader Word Count: 1.3k

Content/Warnings: angst

Additional Notes: This will clock in as the second of the five offerings for my 300 follower request fest. This ask kicked around in my head, but then this morning it clicked, and I wrote it out in just a few hours, so if there are mistakes, it was the rush of writing. The original was a one-day write, and so I guess it's fitting that this one was, too. And as the original was also heavily influenced by a song, I listened to Wild Way by Tori Amos for some of the inspo on this.

Your breath caught at the sight of him standing next to your door, and you came to an immediate halt.

“Hey,” he said, pushing off from where he’d been leaning against the wall, a forced and uneasy smile on his face.

Good, you thought, he shouldn’t feel comfortable.

As you approached and unlocked the door, he didn’t make any other moves to touch or greet you, and you were glad he had enough sense for that. You were glad for the moment of putting your keys in the lock and turning it open to have your face hidden from him so you could bite your lip in frustration. And fear. You desperately worked to keep your heart from racing, knowing he’d be able to hear your heartbeat if he tried – and you knew he would be hyper focused on every sound, movement, and reaction.

You entered your home and left the door open for him to follow you inside. You dropped your purse and keys on the table next to your entry and kept walking. You heard him slowly close the door behind him.

“So, when did you get back?” You asked, knowing he would be waiting for you to speak before pressing you into any further conversation.

“No small talk,” he murmured. You turned to face him, a frown on your face. “No, of course not. Um, today. Only an hour or two ago.”

You crossed your arms and were quiet for another few moments.

“Why did you come here, Steve?” You finally asked.

“You know why–”

You cut him off with a scoffing noise. “I don’t know why.”

“You know in my letter I said– “

“I didn’t read it,” you interrupted again.

He drew his head back sharply, blinking at you. “You didn���t – didn’t Bucky give you – “

“You left without a word, and thought I would want to read a letter you gave to Bucky to give to me? You didn’t get to do that to me.”

He dropped his gaze and put his hands in his pockets. “Okay, that wasn’t fair.”

“It was cowardly.”

You saw the effect those words had on him. You didn’t care that they cut him to the core. He deserved it after carving your heart out and crushing it without a care.  

“Did you think you could leave, walk around in whatever yesteryear with Peggy Carter for ten months, change your mind, and just come back and think I’d be waiting and ready to welcome you back into my arms?”

“No,” he took a few steps toward you, looking back into your eyes again, “I knew it wouldn’t be that easy, and I didn’t walk around in the past for ten months. I wasn’t there a full two days before I was trying to come back. It took time to hunt down the right people and technology, but it wasn’t even a full two months that I saw there before I got out.”

“Wait, so… you were only there for less than two months but you let ten months pass here for your time to reappear here?”

“I know that scientifically I could come right back, but I also knew I left and I didn’t deserve to come back and act like I hadn’t left.”

“No, Steve!” you dropped your head. “This is what was wrong with us before, only I didn’t know it back then because I was too caught up in all the Captain America aura about you. I couldn’t believe someone like you would be with someone like me,” Steve opened his mouth to say something, but you held your hand up, raised your head back up and kept talking, “but you were even worse. You didn’t think you deserved love or happiness at all. I was stunned by every bit of us getting together, it felt like a stupid modern fairytale in the middle of everything else that was awful. After a while I even started to believe it myself, thought maybe I was good for you even, but not good enough for you to stay in the end, and now you’re telling me you thought you had to do even more time to make up for leaving?”

Steve sighed, and you could feel the waves of ache radiating off him, matching the ache in your own chest.

“You were too good for the failure I thought I was,” he started to explain. “I knew it wasn’t just me who failed in defeating Thanos, but it didn’t make me feel like any less of a failure, and every day I was living a life full of reminders of how much we lost. Until you. I started to build something again after you.”

“Then why did you leave?” the question burst from the part of your heart where everything still felt like scorched earth.

Steve sighed. “In the letter – “

“You get to tell me to my face, Steve Rogers.”

He nodded. “We brought back half the universe, but I still felt like a failure because we lost Tony and Nat. I couldn’t face it. But when I got back there, I couldn’t shake how vile and cheap it was to run away, and the only one I wanted to talk to about it – about fixing the snap, about losing Nat and Tony, about leaving this time for the past, about trying to get back to the future – I only wanted to talk to you.”

He took another step toward you, but you took a half a step back.

“That was a good speech,” you said, “but Steve…”

Your shoulders softened, and he stepped forward again. He tentatively reached out, took your hand, and you looked down at them.

“It can’t be just a good speech,” he said. “I need it to be the best speech of my life.”

You couldn’t hold back the overwhelming battle of emotions anymore, and tears started falling down your cheeks. You heart yearned to let him right back in, and yet it also wanted to banish him forever.

His other hand came up to brush some of your quiet tears away with his thumb.

“I hate you so much right now, Steve,” you cried while not being able to resist leaning into the palm of his hand. “I had to.”

“I deserve it, but I want to deserve you at some point. I didn’t expect to come back and be welcomed into your arms, I expected to come back and earn the right to wrap my arms around you again.”

“God damn you, Steve Rogers. I want to tell you yes, but I can’t promise you anything any time soon.”

“I know,” he said, closing the gap between you and pressing his forehead down to yours.

“No,” you whispered, and put a hand on his chest – not to push him away, but to at least hold him from coming any closer. “You might think you know,” you your voice was firm but quiet, “but I don’t think you do. I’m hearing what you’ve said. It means everything that you said you’ve come back for me, but the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with still smashed my heart and left me alone for almost a year.”

Steve didn’t say anything immediately, only continued to stroke his thumb over your cheek, hold your hand, and keep his forehead pressed against yours for a few minutes. Everything still hurt, but it was a balm for the moment.

Finally, he spoke. “Unless you tell me to go, I’m never leaving again. You’re my end game, as long as you need, whatever it takes. I will wait – patiently, but with no pressure and no expectations.”

Then you let the silence fill the space between you.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “And I love you.”

“For now, just kiss me once.”

He did not hesitate, capturing your lips in the kiss he’d been desperate to have for far too long and not knowing when he would get to kiss you again.

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[nothoughtsonlytrance]

Hey everyone! Here is my submission for the Dan and Phil Phasquerade Tumblr Event! First off, as a surprise, I made not one, but TWO songs for the event!

The first one is the main theme song for the event as requested by @wdapteo! 生き甲斐 (Ikigai)! It’s not fully orchestral but I put a bit of strings and horns in there, so I guess it counts lol! I decided to go with a theme that was mainly based around guitars and synths. I also put in a few Asian instruments such as the koto to represent their trips to Japan. The title “Ikigai” is a Japanese concept that refers to one’s sense of purpose or reason to live and is a combination of the words “iki”(to live) and “gai” (reason). This concept can include people such as friends, families, and partners, as well as activities such as one’s hobby or pastime. It basically means that one can find joy in their life by being aligned with their purpose. I thought this concept would be perfect for the phasquerade because Dan and Phil’s ikigai or reason to live is each other. 🥰

As for the background image, I found a picture on Adobe Stock Photos of two masquerade masks that looked PERFECT for Dan and Phil. (The black one is Dan’s and the white one is Phil’s, obviously, lol 😂) Phanartists, feel free to use those masks in ur art! 👌🏻

The second song I made is an orchestral ballroom version of JVKE’s Golden Hour! It took me around two days to do, along with constant listening to the song to get the chords right and then add my own bits on top of it 😂 I’m really proud of this version because lemme tell ya, making orchestral music on Garageband IOS is harder than it looks 😭😅 I still can’t believe how far I’ve gone with making music on this app bc I started using it in 2018 and back then, I had a hard time navigating everything but I slowly worked my way up to where I am now, and tbh I still have far more to go! The background image I used for this is another stock image I found on Pexels that fit the vibe of the song! (Also the two men in the picture looked like Dan and Phil haha 😂)

Anyways, here's a little introduction of me: I’m Kristy, aka @nothoughtsonlytrance. My pronouns are she/they and I am pansexual! (Fun fact, I found out I was pan around the same time that Dan and Phil came out in 2019 lol) I’ve been watching Dan and Phil since around 2012/2013 (so when I was around 12 or 13 years old) because that was the time when I really started watching YouTube and eventually found their channels. I vividly remember watching the Photobooth Challenge video and crying with laughter because it was so hilarious. I continued to look forward to seeing their videos after school and finally got to see them on stage in 2018 for their Interactive Introverts tour when they came to Richmond, VA. (didn’t get VIP tickets for the meet and greet tho so I still have yet to meet them in person 😭🤞) It continues to be one of my favorite memories of them and I remember crying when seeing them on stage. Their videos mean so much to me and I even made my quote for my college graduation cap “Embrace the void and have the courage to exist” because their videos got me through the last two semesters of college!😎👌🏻(Which got noticed by Dan and Phil in their Phan Twitter Memes 2 video!) Words cannot express how proud I am of them, especially after their coming out videos and how they feel more free to be themselves! And I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for them! (And also us haha)

I think the song that will be playing when I take the stage is “Once Upon a December” from the musical Anastasia! It is one of my favorite musicals and I even got to see it in NYC with my family a few years back! Also, as someone who was adopted from Russia, this song really speaks to me personally. I don’t speak Russian fluently, only a few basic words and phrases that my parents taught me that they learned when they were adopting me, (I only speak English) but I’ve been trying to learn the lyrics to the Russian version of the song so I can sing along with it too. (Pronouncing Russian isn’t easy haha)

Anyways, here’s my post for the phasquerade! Hope you all enjoy the music! I had so much fun being a part of this and thank you so much to @serendipnpipity for planning and organizing this!

[gayalanwake]

hey guys so I’m crazy

I KNOW NOBODY GAF i am hyperfixated with literally have no other outlet to unleash my Demons

okay so basically this isn’t like a “normal” playlist (i have one but it’s private as of rn)- it’s basically like. 2 songs per chapter. In order. like the first two songs are about chapter one, the next two songs are about chapter two, etc etc etc. HOWEVERRR I’m not adding songs for chapters that aren’t released, because they can give vague spoilers. HOWEVERRR (again) I went ahead and added the Chapter 10’s songs anyways for fun :3

im not done lol here is an analysis of every song so far bc again im hyperfixated to high hell and this took 15 hours to organize. HEART EMOJI

(Chapter One)

Welcome to Paradise:

WTP is obviously an ironic song.

Pay attention to the cracked streets

And the broken homes

Some call it slums, some call it nice

I want to take you through

A wasteland I like to call my home

Welcome to paradise

This doesn’t need explaining as to why it’s relevant to B&BH lmao. But if you view these lyrics through their perspectives, the song loses its ironic tone. This wasteland of theirs probably GENUINELY IS paradise for them. It’s kinda comedic.

However, in this song, the narrator is speaking to his mother, asking if she can hear him “whining” as well as “laughing.” And viewing that through B&BH’s perspectives adds the slightest bit of tension- a tension that is very relevant and that will be harder to hide as the story progresses.

Another thing- this song being the first on this playlist is also part of the irony, with “paradise” referencing the plot that’s about to unfold, which takes place nowhere near any kind of paradise.

Come Out and Play:

This song is supposed to initially come off as a nothing more than a reference to B&BH being deranged teenagers. And for the most part, it is. It’s placed in Chapter 1 for a reason: Nothing’s happened yet, this is just B&BH as we know them. AKA, deranged teenagers.

However! Some of the lyrics do hint at what’s to come.

It goes down the same as the thousand before

No one's getting smarter, no one's learning the score

Your never-ending spree of death and violence and hate

Is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your own...

Hey, man, you disrespecting me?

Take him out (you gotta keep 'em separated)

Hey, man, you talkin' back to me?!

Take him out (you gotta keep 'em separated)

Over and over and over again are B&BH going to fight each other because of- unbeknownst to them- their suppressed romantic feelings. and it’s frustrating to watch because their self-destruction is so clear and yet they remain blinded by and to their own dysfunction. This is symbolized in the song, where the narrator has called out the teenagers’ destructive behavior more than once but is continuously interrupted mid-sentence by the cycle of needless violence that never seems to end (is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your ownHEY!!!! MAN YOU TALKING BACK TO ME???). Nothing is getting through. Nobody’s learning.

But you probably shouldn’t separate them.

(Chapter Two)

Fat Lip:

Okay this one is not that deep LMAOOO. Unlike Come Out and Play, this one is purely about them being deranged teenagers, bc this chapter focuses more heavily on their antics.

All The Small Things:

This chapter plays out like any normal day for these characters, and because of that, it may seem like pointless. But what it’s meant to do is serve as a reference point (all of the first three chapters are, actually). What that means is that the more the plot and B&BH will spiral, these first 3 chapters are a reminder of what once was, and they go from funny to bittersweet.

ATST is about how while this chapter is more so slice of life, the “small things” are nevertheless really important to these two. AKA, this is their ten-thousandth uneventful day together, but they’re together, and that’s what they care about. I am making no sense . Fuck it we ball

(Chapter Three)

My Hero:

Reminder that Chapter 3 is the chapter when Beavis falls down the stairs and Butt-Head starts tweaking. This song is meant to be taken through Beavis’ perspective.

There goes my hero

Watch him as he goes

There goes my hero

He's ordinary

This song in the context of the fic appears to be nothing more than a sarcastic jab. Like wow Butt-Head what a great fucking hero you are. However, we know that as much as Beavis talks shit to Butt-Head, there is a very strong love within him. He will never admit it, but this guy IS his hero. This song is genuine, and Beavis doesn’t know it. We have genuine love that is being sarcastically sung. Have you guys caught on that im bad at explaining things. This is a lot better in my head

Where Are You Going:

Meanwhile! This song is through Butt-Head’s perspective!

I am no Superman

I have no reasons for you

I am no hero

Oh, that's for sure

But I do know one thing

Is where you are is where I belong

I do know where you go

That's where I want to be

see why i bolded those lines LMAO

He’s Beavis’s hero… but Butt-Head is no hero. He loves Beavis, but he is also an unhealed, traumatized victim of Joanna. He is terrifyingly emotionally stunted, violence is always his answer, and much, much more. I mean goddamn he was this close to KILLING Beavis in this chapter- not that it’s the first time either of them have tried to or have indirectly nearly caused each other’s demise and not given one singular fuck (except for the episodes Take A Bow and The Day Butt-Head Went Too Far). And in the song, the lyrics just straight up state this (again, I am no hero).

And like Beavis in the last song, these meaning of these lyrics are also something Butt-Head “doesn’t know.” At least, not consciously. He is no hero. He is cruel, borderline barbaric, oh, that’s for sure. But the love he has for Beavis is literally life-defining. Where you are is where I belong, no matter where that is, even if it’s in hell. This song represents Butt-Head’s constant psychological battle between the love he feels and the person he was abused into becoming. (Note: this symbolism can also be applied to Beavis).

(Chapter Four)

Highway to Hell:

haha look it’s the guy named butthole’s song

I’ll try to keep this one short. This song is referencing their antics at the beginning of the chapter (aka, robbery LMAO). But… also… they are literally on a highway to hell, since at the end of the chapter is the cuddling scene that sets everything off.

I’m So Into You:

not a lot to say here either! I actually already talked about this song before (on a post I cannot find! eye twitching). The lyrics are self-explanatory.

I'm so into you

I don't know what I'm gonna do

Boy, you got me so confused

I don't know what I'm gonna do

The song is also about pining for a man who is already in a relationship, which is fitting, since this is the chapter where Butt-Head meets Hannah.

(Chapter Five)

So Much To Say:

I have also spoken about this song before! And while it’s mentioned in Chapter Seven, it’s referencing the events in Chapter Five, which is why I made it Ch. 5’s song. Okay anyways

I say my hell is the closet, I'm stuck inside

haha get it. gay. okay anyways

Can't see the light

Keep it locked up inside

Don't talk about it

T-T-Talk about the weather

Yeah, yeah, yeah

What were they doing in Chapter Five again??? Ohh yeahhh keeping their feelings abt the prior night locked up inside and talking about the weather instead. It’s simple and straight-forward but fits so perfectly i love it so much lmao

Take On Me:

okay so I will be completely honest here. I stole the idea of using this song for emo reasons from The Last of Us 2 LMAOOOOO

Youtuber TLOU Explained did a beautiful analysis video on the relationship between Ellie and Dina, the game’s main characters. In one scene, Ellie sings an acoustic version of “Take On Me” to Dina, and TLOU Explained describes the song’s meaning as this,

“I also think the lyrics of this song are especially poignant, summarizing Ellie and Dina’s relationship in just one line. Ellie sings, ‘Take me on,’ including all of her grief and baggage, everything that she is now, which Dina has already shown that she’s willing to do and will do for as long as she can. Ellie sings, ‘I’ll be gone in a day or two,’ and tragically, in two days from now, the Ellie that Dina knows and loves will be gone.”

I’m only mentioning this because that video is what made me realize what the writers of The Last of Us 2 were doing- what these lyrics, sung in an upbeat tone, can symbolize in a more tragic way. And I don’t want people to think I came up with the idea of using “Take On Me” in a serious way because i absolutely did not LMAO (Note: I wouldn’t do this if this story was an original project. This is just a fanfiction, so I don’t mind taking inspiration from The Last of Us 2 so directly).

Anyways, this song is meant to represent the end of Chapter Five, when Beavis finally recalls what happened the night before and is wrestling with the weight of it all. Using such a fun song seems ironic, but 1) I am a sucker for upbeat songs playing during dramatic moments (i.e., the song “Our Love” in Episode 2 of Arcane). 2) Like I already explained, the lyrics mean more than they appear.

In the context of the fic, the verse, “Take me on,” is a dare. It’s a dare to both characters. Take on what happened between us. I dare you. I dare you to take on what it means to be in love with someone like me. Take me on.

I'll be gone

In a day or two

(Chapter Six)

Bullet With Butterfly Wings:

While both characters can work with this song, this chapter is about Butt-Head being more awful than usual to Beavis, who is trying his best to get back to normal. So, this song is about Beavis.

The world is a vampire

Sent to drain

And Butt-Head is Beavis’ world.

(I feel like the rest of the lyrics don’t really need explaining lmao)

Smile Like You Mean It:

Not too much to say here! The title of the song alone pretty much sums it up. These two (Beavis, especially) are trying to act like everything is okay, but it’s not. They’re “smiling,” but they’re not meaning it.

(Chapter Seven)

In The End:

Once again, this song was mentioned in Chapter Eight, but it’s about Chapter Seven, so that’s why it’s here.

This one is basically Beavis’ breaking point. He’s tried and tried and tried to get things back to normal, and Butt-Head is being everything but cooperative. The last song, “Smile Like You Mean It” is like his final Hail Mary, he’s demanding himself to “smile” like he means it. But in “In The End,” he’s completely given up on trying to fix things. Well, not really. We know that Beavis would never actually give up on Butt-Head. But emotions are high, he’s pissed, and Butt-Head is continuously making everything worse.

How long will he last

Before he's a creep in the past

And you're alone once again?

Will you pop up again

And be my special friend

'Til the end?

And when will that be?

I figured out what you're all about

And I don't think I like what I see

So I hope I won't be there in the end

If you come around

No More Like That:

This song is through Butt-Head’s perspective, and it’s almost a whiplash. The song is a slow, depressing ballad, which is 1) in stark contrast to the prior song, and 2) doesn’t match Butt-Head at all. But it’s representing how Butt-Head put himself aside at the end of this chapter to try to fix things with Beavis. The song is different, and so is Butt-Head’s behavior.

You know you're breaking my heart

And I'm coming apart

Calling in sick

(Chapter Eight)

Hook:

oooo one of my favorites lmao

Okay, so if you’re unaware of this song, its point is that it’s pointless. These are literally the lyrics:

It doesn't matter what I say

So long as I sing with inflection

That makes you feel I'll convey

Some inner truth or vast reflection

But I've said nothing so far

And I can keep it up for as long as it takes

And it don't matter who you are

If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks

Because the Hook brings you back

I ain't tellin' you no lie

The Hook brings you back

On that you can rely

In the context of this fic, it’s meant to call attention to how this is pretty much the state Beavis and Butt-Head are in right now. Sure, they’re no longer fighting, but have they… actually resolved anything? They didn’t directly confront the issue, and more so swept everything under the rug in an attempt to get things back to how they were. They’ve said nothing so far, but the hook brings them back, the hook being the somewhat familiarity that has returned. It doesn’t matter how shaky or unstable it is, it’s familiar, it’s the hook, and it keeps bringing them back. It doesn’t matter what they say, as long as they sing with inflection. You get it lmao. This is a banger song btw i highly recommend it

Mt. Washington:

This one is about the end of the chapter, where Beavis has a breakdown over his mother.

Face stained in the ceiling

Why does it keep saying?

I don't have to see you right now

I don't have to see you right now

This part is literal. Beavis literally stares at the ceiling the entire night instead of sleeping.

Digging like you can bury

Something that cannot die

We could wash the dirt off our hands now

Keep it from living underground

This is a call to how Beavis has suppressed everything about his mother. What she has done, what she has not done, Shirley herself. Shirley cannot die, yet Beavis keeps digging.

Lazy summer goddess

You can tell our whole empire

I don't have to see you right now

I don't have to see you right now

“Goddess” being Shirley, for she is weirdly like a divine figure to him. She has hurt him over and over again, telling him, “I don’t have to see you right now,” and yet he clings onto her.

The rest of the song repeats the verse, I don’t have to see you right now. The instruments get louder, the singer starts shouting, everything starts getting faster. It’s like a spiral. Beavis is spiraling.

(Chapter Nine)

Here Before:

This one is Van Driessen’s relationship to Beavis and Butt-Head and how he sees their mothers in everything they do, how they have been here before.

Once I had a child

He was wilder than moonlight

He could do it all

Like he'd been here before

This is about Beavis and Shirley. Wilder than moonlight (Interesting… moonlight isn’t that wild). He could do it all. She could do it all.

Then I had a child

Took his while like northern summer

And he knows it all

Like he's been here before

This is about Butt-Head and Joanna. Took his while like northern summer. He knows it all. Joanna knew it all (We see this trait in the way she talks to Van Driessen in the Chapter 8 flashback) (And of course, in reality, Butt-Head and Joanna do not know it all. It’s the exact opposite. But in their minds, it’s very true).

Somethin’ Stupid:

And of course, the love ballad between a man and a woman is about Butt-Head and Hannah. orrrrrrr is it LOL

The time is right, your perfume fills my head

The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

Something interesting here, is why would saying, “I love you,” spoil anything? The narrators are clearly in love. They are on a date, singing fondly of the experience and of one another. But in the context of the fic, as we know, Hannah saying, “I love you,” does. spoil. everything.

And the sentence repeats itself, over and over again. It’s a sweet, genuine echo in Hannah’s head. But for Butt-Head, the echo is a slow, suffocating realization.

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you"

aaaaaaand unless I’ve been executed by the state i will go off about the rest of the songs when the chapters are released. BUH BYEEEEEEEEEE

[vendetta-if]

Snippets and Sneak Peek (Chapter 6) Pt. 2

Hey guys 👋 Time for the second and last sneak peek at Chapter 6 Part 1 before the update. And just as a reminder, the Chapter 6 Part 1 update will drop on 22nd of April (GMT +8), which is around 22 hours or so from now (the time I posted this) 😁

So, I kinda mentioned how MC will hear again about what they did when they helped the mother and the kid in the alleyway. I'll show the news segment here and it'll vary in parts based on the options you chose.

For the sake of this sneak peek, we're going to assume that MC killed the guy with gravikinesis and that MC wears their mask but tells the kid their code name 😄 Oh, and also that MC is interested in becoming Vigilante first or only interested in becoming Vigilante.

Chapter 6 Part 1 Early Access demo is now up on both Patreon and Ko-fi!

* * * * *

The conversation tapers off and you reach forward to turn up the radio a bit to fill in the silence, just in time to catch the tail-end of the song that has been playing. A news jingle immediately follows it.

"Good afternoon, citizens of Elysium City! I hope all of you are having a wonderful day because today, we have some news fresh from the oven and no, it's not about the Superheroes or the Nemesis Project this time.

"Last night, the ECPD was met with another gruesome crime scene in the Lower South Acheron District after what seems to be an act of vigilante-ism was taken too far. The criminal killed was suspected to be the same one who had been terrorizing the area for months now.

"Right now in the studio, we have two direct eyewitnesses—well, no, they actually almost became the victims of this criminal last night. May I present to you, Miranda Martínez, a staff here in the Voice of Elysians radio station, and her ${mc_son}, Jules Martínez."

"Hey, Camille."

"So, Miranda, can you tell us a bit about what happened last night?"

"Uh, yeah. So, it was pretty late last night, and we were walking home. I was starting to regret my decision to not take a taxi instead, but we were getting pretty close to our apartment by that time, so I took ${mc_his} hand in mine and we basically power-walked to try to get home as fast as possible.

"But when we were only two blocks away, a man stopped us and pulled us into one of the alleyways. I was so scared, but I tried talking to him, to negotiate. He said he wanted everything I owned, so I handed him my purse; I didn't want to risk both Jules' life and mine. But still, he won't let us go. I'm still not sure what else he could've wanted—"

"And then I tried attacking the man so he would let go of Mama! But I was too small and he easily beat me… He threatened to burn my face, but I was not scared!"

It was undoubtedly the little kid you saved last night and they still sound as excitable as they were last night.

They continue, "It was then, ${mc_he} came to save us! $!{mc_he} came out of the darkness and then—and then, I don't know how, but ${mc_he} threw the bad guy to a wall without even touching him and then, a few seconds later, the bad guy's head popped like a balloon!"

"Jules—!" $!{mc_his} mother tries to scold ${mc_him} but is cut off by the host.

"Oh! Can you tell us more about this mysterious vigilante? Do you see what ${mc_he} looks like?"

"Yeah! $!{mc_he} told me ${mc_he} goes by the codename "$!{codename}"! Which is really cool!"

"How about ${mc_his} appearance? Did you catch anything?"

"No… $!{mc_he} was wearing a mask so we couldn't see ${mc_his} face at all. But the mask was very cool! It was like, pure black and it looked kinda alive!"

"Aww, that's too bad, but at least we know what to call our vigilante: "$!{codename}", which I'm pretty sure I haven't heard before, so watch out criminals and villains, because there is a new vigilante on the block and ${mc_he} @{mc_plural don't|doesn't} seem to be the type to play around. How about you, Miranda? Do you have anything else to add?"

"Nothing, really. Like Jules said, the vigilante was wearing a mask and we couldn't discern anything about ${mc_his} physical appearance. But, from what I've seen of the ability ${mc_he} used, ${mc_he} is probably a really powerful telekinetic."

"Really interesting… Well, how do you feel about ${mc_him} killing someone in front of you and your ${mc_son}? It must've been a traumatizing experience."

"Oh, yeah, yeah… It was really gruesome and I was just frozen in place in fear. I thought ${mc_he} was going to hurt me and Jules next, but ${mc_he} didn't. $!{mc_he} handed me my purse back and even gave us four hundred bucks to treat Jules' wounds…

"I wouldn't lie, I probably won't be able to scrub the image from my mind for the rest of my life, but in the end, I am really grateful to ${mc_him} for saving me and my ${mc_son}. Who knows what would've happened if ${mc_he} wasn't there to intervene. And the money ${mc_he} gave… It was such a blessing. It really covered the bill to get Jules treated."

"Yeah!" Little Jules chirps in again. "Thank you so much, $!{title} $!{codename}! You're my true hero and I wanna be like you when I grow up!"

You really try to keep your face straight, but a slight smile still tugs on your lips against your will after listening to the interview and the adorable thank you from Little Jules. To know that you have saved people from what could've been a disastrous life-changing event and helped them directly… It surprises you a bit on how good it feels.

You're really lucky to be able to catch a glimpse of what your future as a vigilante would be like and how it would make you feel, and you know you're making the right choice. This experience just makes you even more determined to become a vigilante, spending the nights patrolling the streets, saving innocent civilians, and protecting them from the criminals and villains infesting the city.

[growling]

For all the (mostly american) mutuals that were curious about the realm of Poland and its strange and unusual inhabitants:

Polish soldiers/armed forces etc salute with two fingers instead of the whole hand. Apparently some cub scouts also do that??

Mushroom picking season is like REALLY big here. Like. It's big. Poles love mushroom picking. When I was a young boy my mother, aunt and grandparents would drop me off into the wilderness to pick boletes for 4 hours straight then get lost and have to navigate back into the car via utilizing the earth's magnetic field to determine our position which took like 1 more hour and then once we got back I had to physically recover from that shit for like an entire week. We got like at least 4 huge baskets mushrooms after that that lasted for at least a few months if they're preserved well however I do not like mushrooms so I never even ate them. Except for cultivated mushrooms these are fine the soup bangs actually

I thought this was normal in most countries but turns out it's just us and a few others in eastern/middle Europe: most movies in Poland use voice-over translation/lektor filmowy instead of dubbing/subtitles. Multiple va dubbing is reserved mostly for children's movies and those real popular but mostly younger audience marvel type movies or something, while the subtitle type of translation is pretty rare and I honestly never even seen it on tv.

A FUCKTON of roadside/wayside shrines just being there, especially in smaller towns. Sometimes theres also a single shrine in the middle of nowhere in some woods with no civilization in sight and you just don't question it

those fuckibg white storks

We still got blasphemy laws ("offending religious feelings"/"obraza uczuć religijnych") by the way. Yes you can actually get arrested and fined and get sentenced to months of restriction of freedom for being mean to jesus

Not removing your shoes upon entering someone's place is considered rude. I feel physical pain whenever someone doesn't do that. Take them off kurwa jebana jego mać stop staining my beautiful surfaces I am going to kill you

Unlike the horror stories I've been hearing about the USA in Poland you're allowed to be rude to customers at your job🥰🥰 You can just not smile if you want🥰🥰🥰🥰 its so funny seeing tourists get so confused and offended over that and half the time we're not even being mean just. Literally servicing you with a neutral facial expression and minimal required effort sfdysrsfjewdggs

Yeah uhh related to above point kind of, there still seems to be a few remnants of a culture of distrust. 30-40 years ago neighbors snitched on each other for subversion and people sometimes just disappeared (PRL times). Fun fact during PRL my dipshit mega absent dead paternal grandfather used to beat people on the street with sticks as a job or perhaps a recreational activity in order to get goodboy points from the police. or the secret police. No idea all we know is that he didn't do that for free. Growling family lore drop

National eating donuts/pączki day. National water fight day

As far as I know, USAmericans (and honestly other english-speaking countries too?) really like to regard people they know only a little as a "friend" like I noticed its really really easy to get called a friend in there. Poles on the other hand are very scared of the word "friend" they really avoid saying it nearly all the time you won't hear a pole just say that. Most people are not our friends. That title is special sacred and reserved for only the worthy ones who you actually genuinely know and trust for a minimum of 10 years. In order to be considered someone's friend in Poland you have to max out all their meters complete all of their quests and defeat their father at the end. Most poles only have like 2-3 true "friends" lmao we really don't throw around that term lightly

Carpet hanger jumpscare

The "polish cow song" people love to meme not knowing the language/lyrics is actually about drug addiction lmao. Sorry. Lol

We also got raccoon dogs here👍👍👍

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in September 7th, 2023 🎀

Today was...not the most productive day for me if I'm being honest. When I'm using my Ipad to video call my boyfriend, I can't take notes like I want to, so I end up feeling like I'm behind on my homework. I'm genuinely thinking about buying a second Ipad to keep my personal life and academic life separate. I have a 2nd Ipad, but it's with my boyfriend, 1000+ miles away. My university sells one online for 300$ USD so I might buy it when I get paid next week.

🩷 What I Ate Today -

Breakfast - leftover burritos with taco bell Diablo sauce

Lunch - spicy ramen with shredded fiesta blend cheese

Dinner - McDonald's

Snacks - one mint choco chip yasso bar, two cups of coffee with creamer

Not my healthiest eating day but I have been incredibly stressed so I turned to easy, greasy comfort food though all its done is upset my stomach. Tomorrow will be better.

🩷 Personal Habits/Goals I Achieved -

nightly skincare routine

studied Japanese for 10ish minutes

took out my bedroom trash

made a workout plan for the week

made a goal setting plan for working out

got in touch with one of my two assigned registered dietitian mentors

got my three week grown acrylics soaked off professionally

I'm hoping to implement the workout routine tomorrow, but I want to take it slow ish because I'm still recovering from a back injury and whiplash from last week so fingers crossed I don't irritate the injury! Also, I'm super excited to be a dietitian mentee. The one dietitian I'm in contact with currently is absolutely the sweetest!

🩷 Academic Achievements -

finished my Fitness For Health and Sport module 3 notes

posted my discussion post and one classmate response for the same course

completed and passed the module quiz for the same class

completed and passed my Food Fundamentals Chapter 5 Quiz

planned for the next few upcoming days

My job has me scheduled for ~35 hours Friday thru Monday, so I am going to be so tired this weekend, but I need the money because I have rent to pay, I want to buy a Genki 1 & 2 Textbook and Workbook + Answer key & hiragana/sentence chart (and some other resources), I want some more stationary, and I need to buy more groceries soon. I am also planning to buy another Ipad, and add some language app subscriptions to my arsenal of language resources for my lazy days.

🩷 Song of the Day - TT Japanese vr by Twice

I love that there are so many Japanese versions of kpop songs that I absolutely love, so this way I can passively listen to the language while enjoying music! There's also a ton of J-pop songs I'm currently in love with. Some of my favorite j-pop artists are liSa, Kenshi Yonezu, YOASOBI, Fuji Kaze, Suda Masaki, Ado, etc.

I did not workout today, I did not do morning skincare, and I did not make my bed. I am planning on getting back on track tomorrow. I appreciate this platform and my followers who help me want to stay on track. I appreciate all 300+ of you <3

Til next time, lovelies 🩷

[creatchie8]

Because I keep seeing others post, I really wanna talk about seeing Lewis and Atta Boy in Chicago <3 Also so I can look back and reread and relive how exciting it was lol

First of all, I wanna explain how DEDICATED I was to see this man. I live in a tiny town in Idaho where the local airport takes two flights per day and both of them are directly to and from SLC. So I drove 3 1/2 hours to the biggest airport in Idaho. Then, I hopped on a 1 1/2 hour flight to Seattle where I had a two hour layover then on a 4 1/2 hour flight to Chicago.

I got a bloody nose on the plane to Chicago (then on the way back I got 2 more) :) So much fun.

We waited in a super short line outside for a while and I was hyper analyzing every person who walked past us in hopes it would be a member. The one time I had my head turned a woman walked past me and I was just watching her leave when she turned her head and it was EDEN! I could have died right then, she was gorgeous, seriously the prettiest woman I have seen.

About 10-15 minutes later I saw her walking towards the line (very preoccupied, she was listening to a voice note on her phone) and finally past all the waiting people and into the venue. (Side note, she had her vape in hand and was taking a hit of it as she walked past me-when I texted my friend she was saying how lucky I was to stand in Eden's vape cloud and it made me lol so hard).

When they finally let us into the venue me and my guy beelined it to the stage. I swear some higher power was on our side that day because we got the best spot right to where the drum set was in perfect view.

Me Like Bees was great, I was dancing around to their music and I have plans to add them to my Spotify playlist, their energy was crazy!

The lights went on again as they were taking the MLB stuff down and putting the AB stuff up, Freddy and Dashel were up there helping when this mysterious man brushed up against my guy and walked up the steps to the stage. My guy whispered in my ear, "I think that's Lewis." And all I could do was nod silently.

It felt like I touched a live wire or something, my whole body was buzzing like crazy as we watched him set up his drum set. I think in another life that man was an electrician or something because he was decked out in all Carhart lmao.

Eden sung beautifully, nothing would have ever prepared me for how good she sounded. Like imagine the recorded version but just 1 Million times better. I sung my heart out on Crab Park (best song imo) and teared up when she sang Madly.

I'm going to skip some of these next few parts because it was literally just me watching Lewis go around to the people waiting to talk to him and me admiring how incredibly handsome this guy is (no picture does him justice).

Lewis shook me and my guy's hand and we all introduced each other, all of a sudden my worry went away and talking to Lewis felt like talking to a friend. I told him how my mom loves him in Lessons in Chemistry (which I explained is crazy because she has two comfort shows she likes and she hates new things but seriously is in love with LinC and begs to watch it with me whenever I visit). Lewis thought that was absolutely hilarious and was happy my mom likes it so much.

I then told him that I adore The Starling Girl because his performance was so real and raw and there was absolutely no fluff. I then said something super cheesy like, "Your performance was phenomenal." Lewis told me that he was grateful I loved it so much because he loved working on it. So that made me smile and blush like crazy.

He asked where we were from and I told him about the crazy journey we endured and he seemed legit stunned that someone would travel that far to see him and his band.

We then took a few pics and I was too dumb to remember to give him something to sign so I pulled out a $5 bill and he signed the backside of it. I then asked if I could hug him and he laughed, saying yes if I don't mind that he's all sweaty. Best hug of my life btw.

We then said our farewells and I then proceeded to get so freaked out we left the venue entirely. Looking back now I would have stayed longer and got pics with Eden and some merch so I actually feel really upset about that. And in January of 2023 I got a bull skull tattoo mimicking Rhett's on my calf that I was dying to show Lewis but I forgot. But I am looking forward to the next time I get to see him!!!

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Comeback Celebration: Current Top Ten StayC Songs

So this has been sitting in my drafts since March... but that worked out great, actually, since today we're getting their FIRST FULL ALBUM !!! HAPPY STAYC COMEBACK Y'ALL !!! When it comes to the highs of StayC's discography, I really think that no one can do what they do. My appreciation for their work has grown slowly but steadily--I was only a casual listener of their debut, so it was actually "ASAP" that made me a fan. Then, the Stereotype comeback got them on my stan list, and with the "Run2U" comeback, they became my favorite kpop group (sorry, Twice and Mamamoo, I still love y'all!). Revisiting StayC's earlier songs for this list, I was actually surprised by how impeccably their music has aged--I love this group even more than I thought I did!

1. 247

The queen herself! I think I've done a few other write-ups about this song in my time on Tumblr, and it hasn't gotten any less perfect after two years. "247" really leans into the lofi side of StayC's signature sound, but it has a hell of a kick to it, too. I absolutely could not fall asleep to this one, or do homework while leaving it on repeat, because I would be stimming too hard--how could I not, with a beat like that? That staticky beat commands the song, and you can't even get used to it because it's constantly morphing, surprising you with little offbeats. In contrast, StayC's vocals are a sugar rush, as high and melodic as the beat is low and grating. This is StayC at the top of their game in both production & performance, and the result is a song that gets more dazzling the more intently you listen for its details.

2. Slow Down

It took me a while to notice this one--"Stereotype" and "Complex" had all my attention when the Stereotype album first dropped, but when "Slow Down" finally had its turn in my rotation, I knew the others just couldn't compete. I'm always here for the 10 hours chill lofi beats to study to style of song from StayC, but it's not just the production I love here. The members really add to the song--I especially adore the precision with which they handle the first verse, even as it just runs and runs and runs and runs headfirst into the prechorus. The rap in the bridge docks "Slow Down" a couple of points in my book, but the "haste makes waste" ad-lib wins those back easily.

3. Complex

And here's "Complex" !! This is the song that made StayC my favorite group--from the beginning, it's been brain-cleaning music for my soul. I find it hard to place what, exactly, makes StayC's music so special to me, but "Complex" has it for sure. It's something about the way the members enunciate sharply, but not aggressively, I think. "Complex" is a soft, understated song, but the StayC ladies are masters of enunciation--their performances, strong and confident, give the song these sharp edges that keep me absolutely captivated. StayC's music, soothing but not understimulating, is just so perfect for my sensory sensitivities, and that's what I mean when I say I feel like StayC's style was designed just for me.

4. So What

This was too obnoxious for me when it first came out--maybe because Itzy still ran the girl group landscape in 2021, so I was not in need of another 'sassy & self-confident but also cutesy & girly' type of song? "So What" got me eventually, though; I think it was during the "Beautiful Monster" comeback that this track became a regular fixture in my playlists. "So What" has some of the Itzy magic--flat verses set against soaring melodic choruses, a downright strange instrumental in the prechorus--but it has a lot of StayC magic too, I think. I can't be sure this is inspired by 8-bit music, but the chorus definitely has the sound of a retro video game. (If you've been enjoying that sound lately, you should definitely check this one out!) "So What" is more energetic than a lot of the others on this list, but it's just as cozy and comforting as they are--as the chorus hits you with a barrage of clashing instrumental bits, the vocals get softer and sweeter to balance it out, and the bridge could have been taken straight out of an IU ballad.

5. Run2U

It's kind of unfortunate that this one came out when it did--the music video for "Run2U" dropped right before a really major, terrifying event in my life, so I was replaying it all the time in the months when that event happened. As much as I enjoy "Run2U", I don't listen to it much anymore--it transports me back a little too well. (Luckily for me, the b-sides from this album managed to escape the Bad Memory Vortex!) "Run2U" is an absolutely perfect song, though, stuffed with hooks and textures that my brain loves to chew on. While revisiting "Run2U" for this list, I understood exactly why I was replaying the song so maniacally in the months after it came out (it was my most-listened song of 2022, and I think all those listens were from between February and April). The soaring vocals, the angelic chimes, the beat that feels somehow 3D? It's too much to process on just one listen--or just two, or just three... This could honestly be my favorite StayC song in an alternate universe--it's such a grand statement of just how much this group is capable of!! (And it turns the pop-princess aspect of their style up to 100, which I, as a Twice stan, am legally obligated to love.)

6. ASAP

Rhyming "copy" with "decalcomanie" is the kind of audacity I like to see in a first comeback (only Lightsum has been more audacious--I love you, Lightsum, you'll get your own textpost one day). Though the production & songwriting for this spring lofi sunny day 1 hour chill beats mix sound would be perfected in StayC's later comebacks, the members perform the hell out of this one. Even before "Complex", they had the skill with enunciation to bring some real bite to the quirky-cute girl group sound! Also, that piano in the bridge is glorious.

7. I Like It

You could probably argue that this is just a dollar-store version of "Slow Down" and "So What", and I would probably agree with you--but like, I like this one, okay? I like how Yoon sings "I got my shades on" in the opening; I like the chanted bit in the second prechorus (GWAENCHANA NE TASI ANIJANA !!!!!); I like the whole damn chorus!! I think this one needed a lot more time in the oven production-wise, but I still find it super listenable. The members help "I Like It" flow smoothly despite its clumsy production, and the harmonies alone are worth coming back for.

8. Beautiful Monster

Despite some really clumsy production choices (this album was... interesting, to say the least!), I can't help but love this one--I find myself revisiting it a whole lot. (But, like, what are those claps leading into the chorus. Why are they so loud. Could you just... uh... blend them in, just a little bit? Like, could you just make them sound like they're actually coming from, like, the same song as the rest of the track? Anyway...) "Beautiful Monster" is a super-memorable showcase of StayC's vocals, though, so it's a classic in my book--those bordering-on-wailing high notes remind me of the most emotional moments in GFRIEND songs, and they're scattered throughout all of "Beautiful Monster", and they still hit like bricks every single time?? My heart was not ready for this song.

9. Stereotype

Another classic! This is one of those songs that really makes me think no one can make music quite like StayC's--like, "Stereotype" should not be as interesting as it is. It should not echo in my bones the way it does. We know StayC can bring their songs to stunningly high highs --see: "Run2U" and "Beautiful Monster"--but "Stereotype" manages to be an infinitely satisfying listen without any showstopping moments. This is like the sweeter version of "247"--it takes an even softer approach, but it still has that kick to it, like the sour part of a sip of lemonade or the fizz in lime soda. Admittedly, I don't listen to this one very frequently--I really should be obsessing over it a lot more, but the b-sides from this comeback really stole the show for me (see: "Slow Down" & "Complex" at spots 2 & 3 on this list). "Stereotype" completely deserved its success, though! It's really a perfect encapsulation of the pop-princess-meets-lofi aesthetic that makes StayC stand out.

10. Poppy (Japanese or Korean ver.)

Yes, we get one song from StayC's 2023, at least. (Look, 2023 wasn't really their year, but I needed a break from constantly gushing about how great their music is, anyway!) I think everyone else in the world would have this one on their list, too--I remember when "Poppy" took the fandom by storm, though I didn't get the appeal at the time. I'm sold on it now, though! "Poppy" is a pretty straightforward dance track, but the textures in the instrumental are unique enough that I find it an interesting, enjoyable listen whenever it comes up on shuffle.

Honorable Mentions: So Bad (vocals. oh my god the vocals.), Like This, Butterfly, I Want U Baby (that chorus is a real gem, i hum it to myself all the time), Love (i bring this one out every summer !!), Not Like You