#it makes the last scene no matter how short have so so much more meaning and I love it 🥰

[littlelovelyra]

"Tell Me I Can't Touch You" - Sylus x FMC

“I’m not a good enough man to walk away from this. You need to tell me that I’m not allowed to touch you."

MINORS DNI 18+

ao3 if you prefer

Word Count: ~1,797

Summary: After you find yourself ambushed in the N109 zone, Sylus comes to your rescue, resulting in a night of passion and ultimately, acceptance that you want him.

notes: A quick one shot of Sylus and FMC. I've had this lil scene in my mind for a while. I've been out of the writing game for a bit so I apologise if its sloppy. <3

The last thing you can recall is being ambushed in the N109 zone, a place where despite your best efforts, you keep finding yourself. As much as you try to stay away from the shady territory you always seem to find yourself back here and Sylus is always ready and waiting for you in the shadows. The irresistible pull you feel towards him should disgust you, it should make your gut twist with nausea but instead, you find butterflies in its place. No matter how hard you try, his face, his voice and even the feel of his skin are burnt into your mind. He’s like a drug, all it took was one encounter with him and now his presence flows in your veins.

As your vision fades in and out of focus, the feel of warm, strong arms encircle you. From what you can see, you know exactly where you are. If the dimly lit hallways were not a dead giveaway, it would be the intoxicating smell of his cologne that always drifted through the entire safe house. He’s carrying you… that means he must have found you after the ambush happened… or was he already watching you? 

As you gain a bit more consciousness you attempt to wriggle out of his arms but you are quickly humbled by a radiating pain moving down your ribs and you feel his grip gently pull you closer to his chest. 

“If you keep wriggling like that, you will only hurt yourself more, Kitten.” The warmth of his breath cascades down your cheek as he whispers in your ear, sending those butterflies into a frenzy. 

“What… What happened? I remember an ambush but not much after that.” Your voice sounds a little hoarse and tired as you try to recollect the recent events. 

“Yes, there were three men. They saw a beautiful woman walking alone and decided to take the opportunity. They will not be bothering you… or in any woman again. Ever.” The coldness of his tone cuts through you as he gently places you down on the bathroom vanity. “You’re freezing. There is a towel and some fresh clothes for you here, take your time in the shower. I will wait outside for you, but before I go, take this please to ease the pain a little.” He gently opens your hands and gives you two pills that you assume are painkillers. You look up to say thank you and are stunned by his soft concerned gaze. You give a quick nod in appreciation and swallow the pills, his shoulders instantly relax and he exits the bathroom.

What was his angle? He looked like he cared for a moment there but there has to be something he wants. He’s one of the most feared men, surely you were hallucinating that look he gave you. Softly you pad across the cold tiles and turn the shower on, taking a small moment to appreciate just how spacious it is, you could lay down in it if you wanted to… imagine all the things two people could do in here… what you and Sylus could— “No. Stop it” You stubbornly cut your thoughts short. You cannot be fantasising about him. It’s not right. 

After stepping inside the shower, you welcome its warmth, enjoying the feel of the hot water hitting your back. A wave of annoyance works through you as you begin to lather the soap over your body and scrub. You should have been more aware of your surroundings; you know better than to let your guard down, especially in the fucking N109 zone. What the hell was going through your head? If Sylus wasn’t there, who knows what would have happened? A slight feeling of debt creeps through your chest, and your mind connects the pieces. That is his angle. You owe him now. Surely that is what he wants… why else would he save you? GOD, you feel stupid for even thinking he was concerned. You turn the shower off and head over to the towel, drying off and putting on an oversized tee shirt with a pair of shorts. Seething with irritation, you exit the ensuite and find Sylus sitting on the edge of the bed. He quickly stands and holds out his hand to help you as you slowly move around. The pills have dulled the pain but it is still tender to move too fast. 

“So what do I owe you, Sylus?” You cross your arms and glare at him expectantly. 

“Your skepticism wounds me.” He chuckles as he raises an eyebrow at your obvious display of irritation. “You owe me nothing, Kitten. Just come lay down and rest. Please.” 

You glare at him a moment longer and unfold your arms as you slowly lay down on the bed. “Fine. I believe you. For now.” The irritation slowly dissipates as you settle on the soft mattress and close your eyes.

The mattress dips down to your left and you snap your head in the direction to see Sylus perched on his elbow watching you with a smirk. 

“Can I help you?” You raise an eyebrow at him in confusion. His eyes travel down your body and his brow furrows with concern. 

“You have a few cuts on your legs. I have some ointment for them.” He moves quickly and sits between your legs, opening a tube of cream. You feel your cheeks heat, and those damn butterflies are practically bursting now. Too stunned to speak, you lie silently, watching him spreading the cream across his palms, massaging it down your leg. His hands are firm yet soft and gentle at the same time. As he works the cream into your skin, a soft moan of appreciation escapes your lips, and his hands still for a moment. Another flush of embarrassment rises to your cheeks and you refuse to look at him as he begins working on the other leg. 

His fingers massage lazy circles dangerously close on your upper thigh, and heat pools at your centre as you mentally will those fingers to wander further. You can’t help yourself; you have to steal a glance at him, you need to see if there is any desire from him. The minute you open your eyes, they lock to his crimson pools, he’s been staring at you. You catch your bottom lip between your teeth and a low grumble escapes his mouth as he holds himself over you. 

“You’ll need to stop looking at me like that, Kitten. Because if you don’t, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself.” His mouth hovers just above yours, and the heat of his breath sends a shiver down your body. You gently bring your hand to his face and run your thumb over his lips, watching his ruby eyes glisten with need. “I’m not a good enough man to walk away from this. You need to tell me that I’m not allowed to touch you. Tell me… and I’ll walk away.” He grits his teeth as he pins your hands to the padded headboard. 

“I don’t want you to go.” The whispered confession hangs in the air as it leaves your lips. 

“You’ll regret this. Tell me to go. Please.” He whispers back to you, his mouth hovering over your lips again. 

“Sylus… Touch me. Please.” Your body squirms beneath him, and you feel his hard length briefly against your leg. 

His mouth crashes into yours, and your body is set ablaze with desire as you pull his clothes off. He gently removes your clothing, and he sits back for a moment as his eyes hungrily take in your naked form. Sylus crawls his way up your body and brings his mouth over your breast, gently flicking his tongue over your hardened peak, earning a moan of pleasure from you. He places hot, slow kisses down your body before settling his head between your thighs. You shake in anticipation as his breath spreads across your sex. 

The feeling of his tongue slipping through your seam makes your back arch in pleasure as he begins to feast on you as if it were his last meal. Catching your bottom lip between your teeth, you look down, watching him at work and lock eyes as he slips his finger into you, pumping the digit in and out as he devours you. Waves of pleasure roll through you, and it's not long before you are crashing over into ecstasy. 

As he frees himself from between your legs, he once again crawls up over you, planting a soft, deep kiss on your mouth. He expertly parts your lips and slips his tongue against yours, moving in perfect synchronisation. You hear a dull thud hit the floor to see that he has removed his pants, and the hard length of his arousal hovers at your entrance as he looks into your eyes. 

“I want you, Sylus. Please.” You breath out as you wrap your legs around him urging him closer.

“You never have to beg me, Kitten.” He breathlessly pants as he slowly guides himself into you. “Fuck. You’re so wet for me. Such a good girl.” His thrusts slowly pick up pace and the wet sounds of your bodies clashing together sound like a symphony to your ears. He was worse than a drug, he’s taken up your entire being and you loved it. He felt like home and you didn’t care if it was just for this moment. It was worth it. As he continues to ram into you he brings his hand down and rubs tight circles around your clit bringing you closer to the edge once more.

“Say my name. When you come, I want you to say my name. I want to hear that you know who’s made you come so hard.” His breathing is erratic, and his thrusts are frenzied. 

The waves build up again, and you shatter around him, screaming his name. You can feel your walls clench around his cock, and you feel his hips begin to buck as he releases himself deep inside you. 

He falls beside you, pulling you into his chest in a gentle embrace, and he strokes his hand up and down your spine. Your brows furrow slightly at how happy you feel.

“What are you thinking, Kitten? Are you feeling regretful?” He plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

“No… I feel… free. Does this make me a bad person, Sylus?” You whisper against his chest.

“No, this doesn’t make you a bad person.” He mumbles against your hair.

“Then what does it make me?” You breathe out as you look up at him.

“Mine. It makes you mine.” He whispers against your lips bringing them together once more. 

[danykindaforgotaboutdre]

Fix It Fic (how many of these are there by now?)

I was so irked by Meljay's ending that I had to write them a new one. It isn't a fanservicey, perfect endgame, it's still a breakup of sorts, but to me it feels sweeter and more in character, and holds both characters accountable without the judgy bullshit Jayce pulled. Read the first scene as starting directly after Jayce says "It doesn't matter" and the second scene ending with their passenger exchange, which I still think is mostly fine writing wise. They aren't long because dialogue exchanges in this show tend to be short, and I want it to fit.

Scene 1

"It was you, wasn't it? You saved my life the night of the bombing."

She only looks at him, her silence the answer he needs.

"I wasn't worth it." he says

"Don't say things like that."

They go to each other in three long strides each, and he cups one large hand around her shoulder and another along her cheek, shuddering quietly at the feel of her. It's been so long and they've both changed so much, there's something fearsome in laying his hands on her now. And yet he doesn't let go, the width and sadness of her eyes won't let him.

"Where did you go?" he says.

She forces a weak smile "Never mind all that"

"No, tell me."

She reaches up to lift his hands away, and takes a step back. "I was taken. there were things I needed to learn about myself. Even if the learning was rather painful."

He understands. It was painful for the both of them. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean."

[enter Viktor *blam blam*]

Scene 2

They sit on the floor, near the big windows, shoulder to shoulder like waiting children. The silence is thick and overwhelming. Being near her doesn't bring him the same peace that it used to, but he knows it's simply because nothing can. Not after the things he's seen. Still, she's Mel, the one who always let him be close when he needed it, he wont deny her that now. She too is haunted by something he can never see or confront, what else is there to do but be next to her?

"We did the wrong thing Mel, Hextech... it was the wrong thing. I know that now," he says, his own voice sounding strange to him. He knows this isn't the time to bring this up, not with the way she's hurting, but he can't help the words that escape his lips.

"But we can make it right, maybe that's why we're still here," Mel says, the hope in her voice as true as it is devastating.

"I don't think there is any making it right. We did what we did. We hurt people... I hurt people. I can't make that go away."

"But we can do something," she says, more forcefully. "We can always do something."

He reaches for her hand, clasping it with his gloved one. He knows what he needs to do, but he wont say it, he can't bring himself to tell her that these may be the last moments they have left. Because he can do something, he will do something. But that something will be the end of him, he knows it somehow.

"You only ever wanted to do good. And I know you still can."

He leaves it there, hoping against hope that she doesn't ask what about him? They trade a glance, full of bittersweetness and the love they share that won't die even as the rest of him does.

She lays her head on his shoulder, resigned, quiet. War looms all around them and inside them, but not in this moment. Not here.

[polin-erospsyche]

Oh Penelope Bridgerton the reuse recycle queen that you are 😍

In all three scenes she wears the same nightgown. In all three scenes she’s in a different phase of accepting herself and taking control of her life and her own voice.

In the first instance where she wears she’s just been overlooked by Cressida, she is annoyed by herself and the situation because she’s trying so hard to get off the wall and she’s not sure it’s working.

The second time she wears it she knows she’s about to proposed to. Her practical plan is working. She has gained in her own confidence and she’s realising she has a voice. Yet her heart yearns for love. She’s got what she wants but not what she needs. And she looks away from her own reflection brushing away her hopes of one day finding true love.

The third time she wears it she’s shown in an incredibly empowering position. She is no longer Penelope Featherington, practical, resolute, putting security before her dreams of finding love. She is no longer little Pen, overlooked and hiding behind her pen and the powerful persona of Lady Whistledown she’s created for herself. She is Penelope Bridgerton. She is aware of her power and she is in control of her own voice. She is successful and oh so loved by her husband. She has fully stepped into her actualised self and it is absolutely beautiful to behold.

I love her arc and it is so so empowering ❤️

[kopilot-pop]

[New Jeans x Oldest Member! Reader] - #3

-imagine.

Summary: Silly little fics of you and the gorls. You’re basically the tired father figure in their lives.

Warning(s): Cursing, car accident?, bribing a worker?,!crack humor, Hanni has a stalker, you get violent, etc.

A/N: This is like really unserious lmao. I wrote it really lighthearted. Also, this was written over the course of the whole Ador vs Hybe situation. So please understand I’m slowly becoming more unhinged as the story goes.

———————————————————————

#1

You’re strong. I mean physically strong. All of New Jeans, hell, ADOR knows that.

Oh where’s Y/n unnie?; She’s out for a jog.

Unnie is your hand okay?; Yeah, I just had a sparring match today.

That’s just a part of your life.

Fans adore this about you, the girls adore this about you, and today, you’ve come to appreciate this fact too.

Especially when a stalker decided to show his face again at the airport.

It’s been about 2 months since you’ve last seen the man. He went viral on the news (by news I mean Dispatch) for being Hanni’s stalker.

The last time you met him - oh, it was ugly.

He snuck into a performance venue disguised as a staff member. You were the one that caught him lurking near the MC waiting room.

‘Hanni’s supposed to be in there.’

Five. seconds.

That’s all it took for Hanni’s scream to pierce your ear.

The stalker barged into the room, grabbed the girl, and attempted to drag her towards the exit.

You don’t remember much after that scene.

Actually you might remember punching his face something and throwing something him across the wall, but that doesn’t really matter does it?

It mattered alot to Dispatch, who got a hold of the security footage, and decided to share it for the world to see.

The whole situation cause alot of debates of “Oh he’s a stalker. He deserved it. Good job Y/n!” versus “Wow, you didn’t have to get that violent Y/n.”, and in the end, the company decided to put you on a short hiatus and a long scolding from the producer.

Currently, you guys are standing across a crosswalk in front of the airport. The six of you are scheduled to perform in Paris in a few days and decided to get there early to settle in. You all planned a short vacation before having a whole week of dancing after dancing.

So imagine your surprise to see the dirty little freak right between the paparazzis - with a broken camera, might I add - staring at your group.

After acknowledging his presence, you quickly turned to Hanni - hoping that she didn’t notice him yet.

Unfortunately, you were too late.

Hanni’s body was slightly shaking and you could see the fear in her eyes as she stares directly towards the area where the stalker is.

Instinctively, you rushed to her side, and held her waist with your arm.

“I’m not letting him get to you, bub.”

“I.. oh you saw him too?”

“Mm-hm, and I’ll sucker-punch him if he tries to touch you again, alright?”

Hanni giggles, “Nooo, I don’t want you to be stuck in our dorms again!”

“I think it’ll be worth it if I get to break his nose this time, no?”

Minji - overhearing your conversation - butts in.

“Please don’t break anybody’s nose today unnie.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Minji gives you a skeptical look and you give her an innocent smile.

When the crosswalk light turns green, the whole group starts to walk through the group of people, as security tries to make enough room for you guys to pass.

The six of you were just about to manage through the gates when Hanni’s pained scream cuts through the air. You snap your head towards your right to see the same stalker gripping a fist-full of her hair.

And in just a millisecond, a loud crack replaces the girl’s scream.

The paparazzis’ cameras went wild with flashes - all trying to capture how you grabbed the man by his collar and slammed your fist right into his nose. Your pupils were blown wide, piercing right through the stalker writhing on the floor.

“Y/N!!”

Minji was the only one quick enough to snap out of her shock and grab onto you before you could attempt to break anymore of his bones..

Yeah, guess you’re not making it to Paris.

———————————————————————

#2

“UNNIE!! Look at this!!”

Danielle happily skips over to the rack filled to the brim with different bunny plushies. You, her and Haerin all decided to go to a state fair that was happening only an hour away from the hotel.

Technically, you were dragged here by the two of them, but that doesn’t matter.

You watched as the girls looked through the pile of plushies while sipping in your smoothie.

‘Is this what parenthood feels like..’

When the two of them finally chose a bunny they liked, they simultaneously looked over to you… expectingly..

“What. Wait. I already bought us food?”

They nod.

“And hats, I bought us three hats.”

They nod, again.

They’re now directly under your nose, giving you those big puppy eyes. Sweat drips down your back, and it’s definitely not because of the Texas heat.

With a exasperated sigh, you reach into your back pocket and take out your card.

“Excuse me, how much for two of those plushies?”

“Oh, so sorry, but those aren’t for sale. You have to win 50 tickets to win two of them!”

The worker gives you a smile and continues helping out a family near the shooting range. When you turn around, Danielle has a clear pout on her face.

“Aww.. I thought I could buy them..”

“Not you, I could buy them.”

“Potato po-tah-to.”

For a moment you think of the choices you have. It’s either waste cash on a rigged shooting range, give up on the plushes, and.. oh.

“Can the two of you get wait in line for the bucket of cookies over there? Here-”

You hand over a 20$ bill. Danielle squeals happily and Haerin finally has a tiny smile on her face. The older girl grabs her hand and runs towards the stand.

As soon as they turn their backs on you, you slither over to the worker again.

“I need the plushies.”

“Wha- oh it’s you again. Look man, we have a policy that we can’t sell the prizes for c-cash.. wha..what is that..”

You quickly tuck a 100 dollar bill into his front pocket and give him an innocent smile.

“Dude, this isn’t a drug deal, I- ugh, fine, I’ll grab you the fucking plushies”

“Thank you :D”

You carry the two bunny plushies in your arms and a giant teddy bear the man gave you in return for a signature to give to his sister.

You awkwardly walk towards your groupmates while balancing the giant furball on your back.

“Y/n unnie!!! Oh my god! What is that?!”

Danielle looks clearly surprised, but you can tell she’s having a hard time containing her smile. Haerin’s trying her best to help you with the teddy bear.

“I.. uh…-holyshitthisisheavy- I hit the jack pot! Yeah, jackpot….”

You give them a toothy grin, not noticing the group of people taking photos of the three of you, and definitely not realizing the absolute fever Twitter is having over the pictures.

———————————————————————

#3

“I’m telling you guys, nothing’s gonna happen-”

A loud scream cuts off Minji as a ghost jumps out from the wardrobe.

Hanni and Danielle screams louder than the ghost, and runs into your arms in fear. You turn around to see Minji in the same situation as you - just with Hyein.

“Nevermind…” Minji rolls her eyes as the actor scurries off to a different room.

But her nonchalant behavior doesn’t last long when something under the bed grabs her ankle. She screams and - quite literally - jumps into your arms.

“WHY DID YOU CHOOSE A HAUNTED HOUSE FOR YOUR BUCKET LIST.”

The moment you let down a wide-eyed Minji, Hanni grabs your collar and shakes you; Pretty sure she’s trying to get revenge, but having absolutely no impact.

“Ack- I thought it would be fun..”

“FUN?! YOU THINK GHOSTS AND DEAD PEOPLE ARE FUN???!!!”

While Hanni growls at you with tears in her eyes, Haerin bravely opens the next door, only to be met with a doll dropped right in front of her face.

The shock causes her to let out a scream-

‘My ears are ringing.’

which you never expected from her - and run towards you to use your body as a shield.

“ALRIGHT, you guys stand behind me, and I’ll open all the doors, okay? That way I’m the one being threatened by the next ghoul or whatever…”

The girls nod their heads in unison. Hanni finally lets go of your collar to grip onto your left arm.

You cautiously kick open several doors, trying to find the exit, and on the third try you finally find another long corridor with a glowing exit sign at the end. The 6 of you slowly walk towards it but freezes when the buzzing sound of a chainsaw starting echoes from behind.

You’re the only one brave enough to turn around and see the clown standing in the middle of the room you guys just left.

“Okay, don’t panic but there’s a clown-”

The girls scream in unison as they sprint towards the exit like their life depends on it. You follow suit, and use your body to bust down the last door.

The whole group falls toward the ground together, and the younger girls naturally grab onto you, tightly closing their eyes in fear.

“Um… Congrats…?”

When you see the employee standing behind the counter, you sigh in relief that the haunted house is over.

“Guys, we escaped the house.”

They finally detach from you to take a look around their surroundings.

“Oh! Well that was nothing.” Hanni scoffs confidently, causing everyone around her to let out a deep sigh.

———————————————————————

#4

“We got into a car accident.”

“WHAT?!”

You jump up from the bed - almost dropping your phone - and check the contact name again.

“Yeah, I think Haerin unnie has a concussion.”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.”

You quickly put the phone on speaker and fumble around to find your jacket.

“Yeah.. so since Haerin unnie got her license we decided to take your car out for a drive..”

“Wait, wait- MY CAR?!”

“Yeah, you said we can take it out whenever we want? Anyways, we decided to go to the beach… but the road was really messy, I think my phone is glitched, unnie.”

“HUH?!”

“We kinda went down this hill… blah blah blah… we hit a telephone poll- blah blah….”

“Oh my god.”

You rush out the door to the location Hyein has told you. When you arrive, you spot the girls and your BMW M3 that you recently acquired after begging your uncle for 3 months to sell it to you.

With a quick glance you can tell that - thankfully - the car is only a little scratched up, so you immediately turn your attention to the girl curled up in the driver’s seat.

Haerin’s head is against the handle with both of her arms covering her face. Her knuckles are almost white.

“Hey, hey, you okay?”

The only response you receive is a tiny groan from the younger girl.

“Hyein said you might have a concussion? Can you look at me sweetheart?”

“She’s been like this the whole time.” Hyein chimes in.

“The car can be fixed, it’s fine, just a scratch. But it’s more important to me if you’re fine, bub.”

With that a few seconds of silence passes and you finally get a tiny ‘I’m okay’ from Haerin.

“Alright then, let’s move you to the backseat so I can drive us to the hospital, okay? Hyein, get in the passenger seat.”

“Hell yeah! Shotgun!!”

You carry Haerin to the backseat, but as you try to get her seatbelt on, you finally notice the frown on her face.

“Haerin, I’m not disappointed you guys took my car out. I told you guys you’re free to do that. However, I am upset that you guys weren’t careful and got hurt. Okay? We can talk about that after we check if the two of you are fine.”

“What- me too?”

“YES, YOU TOO. YOU WERE ALSO IN THE CAR!”

Hyein pouts at your disbelief. You sigh and give Haerin a peck on her forehead, and hurry to your seat to get to the hospital.

“Put your seatbelt on bub, I’m speeding to the ER.”

“W-wait, you just told us to be caref-AHHH!!”

———————————————————————

A/N: This was fun to write lol.

[actual-changeling]

this one is thanks to a post by @thegroovyfool because she is very much correct - we do not talk about aziraphale's "i need you" enough.

so once again, with a deep breath and a sigh, welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, where i tear apart the confession scene frame by frame. i'm gonna say, watching this particular clip over and over and focusing on aziraphale's face almost took me out.

let's get into it.

first, how about a little look at our starting point. (any blurry screencaps are due to a LOT of movement on michael's part rip)

crowley is very pointedly facing away from him, he turned after aziraphale said "we can be together - angels!", presumably because being offered exactly what he wants in the one way he cannot have it fried his brain, cause besties it surely fried mine.

aziraphale on the other hand looks openly desperate, which is why he says "i need you." more on that later. let's have a look at how he says it, because michael "microexpressions" sheen is putting in the work.

to me, he seems close to tears, his eyes are glistening in that specific "i'm about to cry my eyes out" way i know from looking in the mirror while crying

he is trying to get crowley to listen to him and to turn around. he wants crowley to face him, which is something most people tend to want during an argument. talking to someone who is not looking at you tends to make someone frustrated and like they're not hearing you/do not care about what you have to say.

aziraphale looks close to despair, his i need you is a plea to crowley to come with him. he is opening himself up not just emotionally but physically, too.

he slightly leans forward, his arms are raised and seem to both slightly grasp for crowley and point towards his chest/heart for emphasis. the pure pain visible on his face knocks the air out of me every single time i look at it.

aziraphale is admitting to needing him, something he has never done before, hell, he has told him the exact opposite on numerous occasions. i don't need you. and while they both knew it was a) a lie and b) a way for him to deal with his conflicting emotional standpoints and cognitive dissonance, it still hurt crowley every. single time.

crowley was there for him no matter what, he knows aziraphale needs him but he came back and remained at his side even when he was pushed away and more or less openly insulted. he endured it all.

aziraphale saying i need you now is pretty much a slap in the face but also what crowley needs to hear. as with everything that happens during the entire conversation, the timing is fucked up and they're talking past each other.

in my opinion, that is why crowley does not react.

only when aziraphale turns spiteful and starts questioning his understanding (aka calling him stupid without outright saying it) does he re-enter the conversation.

aziraphale, however, is upset. now, i will put on my tinhat for just a second and turn up the insanity because there are two more things i want to talk about.

first, the little stutter at the beginning.

"i ngk - i need you."

my question is - why? why does he stumble over these words in particular when it does not happen with any other sentence? the only other time is right after crowley walks away with his "good luck", he stumbles over crowley's name.

so, in short, it happens when he is either caught off-guard or saying something incredible emotional.

and this, everyone, is where i go unhinged in my interpretation.

what if he initially did not want to say "i need you?" what if he was so caught up in getting crowley to stay/come with him that he did not think and almost confessed another three word sentence?

what if he was about to say "i love you" but stopped himself because no, that's too direct, they don't do that, they can't do that. it goes against EVERYTHING they have silently build over the last six thousand years. so he chokes on it. he chokes on it and instead he says "i need you" because it means the same thing.

i need you. don't leave me. come with me. be an us. go off together.

i forgive you. i love you.

they say it over and over again because that's the only way they can say it.

that is why aziraphale is so angry and upset after saying it. he told crowley he loves him, he needs him, and all he got in return was silence.

the funny part is that this code may have worked before, but it no longer does. crowley is too hurt to listen to what aziraphale is trying to tell him, and aziraphale is equally as hurt and also not listening anymore.

the funny part is that it stopped being about love and started being about sides again. my side, your side, our side. choose a side, choose our side, choose me.

the funny part is that beelzebub and gabriel told them what they need to do, i found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides.

[drytacomeat]

𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐎𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐦 2

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧! 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐱 plus size!𝐟em!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞: 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐦𝐦𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 (𝐢𝐝𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧), 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐡

Enjoy

(reblogs much appreciated)

part one here

The guilt was eating you up.

Not in a “I watched my two closest friends fuck on live and invaded their privacy” way but in a “I want to watch all of their other content even though I know it’s wrong” kind of way.

After about a week and a half, Eddie and Steve figured you weren’t sick or even busy. They knew something was up with you, but they could not figure out what.

Both of the boy’s cared for you deeply, and your presence was greatly missed. Eddie found himself just moping in bed, aimlessly plucking at his guitar strings while Steve had baked the entire kitchen full.

Their streaming schedule even became thrown off, only down to one stream per week instead of their regular three.

They were grieving their friendship with you because they just did not know what they could have done to make you suddenly so distant.

Steve proposed that you might be seeing someone new and didn’t want them in your business.

Though he proposed the possibility, it made his heart hurt to think about.

Eddie decided it was possible and fair, but he couldn’t help but wish it weren’t true.

You were one of the only people who understood and accepted him no matter what. He didn’t want to lose you. He cursed himself for never speaking up about his feelings.

Hell, if Steve didn’t make a move, he wouldn’t have ever told him how he felt.

Frankly, the boy felt like a coward, and he felt like he was getting the short end of the stick in all of this.

Of course he knew how much Steve liked you as well, but he was better with rejection and acceptance.

So here were Eddie and Steve laying in bed after filming a scene. Though Eddie tended to be the more dominant one, Steve was always more than happy to give him extra aftercare.

He needed it more, especially now. Steve stroked his hair as he sighed loudly.

“Eddie…” Steve began.

“There’s just no way, right? I mean…I thought she liked you at least,” he started.

“Eddie.”

“You’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen, Steve. She, fuck, I can see it in her eyes she wants to fuck you,” he huffed.

“You’re handsome too, Eddie. I always figured she had a crush on you, y’know. Felt out of place until…I didn’t,” he smiled then frowned.

“We gotta do something. We gotta go talk to her, Steve!” he perked up.

“Is that not what we’ve been trying to do all week?”

“Yeah, but we left when she asked us to last time,” he said as he bit his lip in thought, “How about we give her one more week to come to her senses. If she doesn’t, we will not leave her doorstep until we get some fucking answers.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at the ridiculous plan, though he knew it might very well work.

“Hey, don’t give me that fucking look. I miss her. I miss my y/n.”

•••

Sure enough, you avoided them for the entirety of the week they gave you.

Time had passed by dreadfully slow for all of you, but Eddie now had a plan. He planned to execute it too now that he’s found out from Robin that you had been going in to work regularly for the past two weeks. So you were, in fact, not sick. All that was left to do now was convince Steve to follow through.

“So let me get this straight,” Steve started, “We are to go to her home, bang on her door, and “demand” she let us in?”

Eddie, who was biting nails as he faced away from Steve, turned around dramatically.

“Yes!”

“What if she just doesn’t, though?”

“Well, I figure you’re sporty right?“ he shrugged. “Big strong muscles and all that.”

“So if she doesn’t let us in, you want me to force my way in?”

“Exactly!”

“Eddie.”

“Look, it’s going to work. It has to,” he sighed.

“But this feels kinda wrong,” Steve reasoned.

“Does it?” he dragged out as he squinted.

“Yes.” Steve responded sternly.

He just yanked his jacket from the couch and pulled Steve along.

“Let’s go!”

•••

Three knocks were heard at your door. It was seven at night, but it was still pretty bright out. You figured it could have been the same kid who asks you to buy girl scout cookies every single day at sunset.

You flung open the door.

“Look Abby, I can’t afford to keep buy-,” you cut yourself off. “Oh.”

Eddie and Steve stood on your doorstep looking more nervous than you had ever seen them before.

“Uhm guys, I’m sick,” you said before fake coughing, hoping they’d still believe it.

“Cut the bullshit, Y/n. Robin told us you’ve been going to work every day this week, and you took no days off last week either,” Steve spoke. “You’re ignoring us.”

“No, no! It’s just-“

“Just be honest with us! Are you seeing someone!” Eddie blurted.

“Uhm? What! No! Why?” you replied as you unconsciously opened your door more.

“Well, you’ve been ignoring us for weeks!” he continued urgently.

You sighed and opened the door more.

“Come in.”

Steve and Eddie scrambled in awkwardly. They both stood with their hands awkwardly in their pockets, shoulders touching.

You stood with your mouth folded inward, awkward as well.

Steve decided to speak up.

“Why’ve you been ignoring us, Y/n?” Steve started, “I mean, if you aren’t seeing anyone, I see no valid reason for essentially ghosting us.”

Your mouth gaped. You were at a loss for words.

“Are you…did we do something wrong? You can tell us, or you can at least tell me,” Eddie sympathized as he stepped closer to you.

“Eddie, it’s not-“

“Was it me then?” Steve spoke up, insecurity plaguing his tone.

“Steve, no,” you said as you looked towards Steve with pleading eyes.

“Then what is it!” Eddie found his voice escalating.

“Please, Y/n. Please just say some-“

“I saw your livestream!” you blurted due to the heat of the burning questions.

Both of the boy’s faces fell, color draining from them. Eddie backed towards Steve before looking at him in panic, then back to you.

“Uhm, how long-which one did you, uhm, see?” Eddie asked nervously, not able to meet your eyes.

“Look, I’ve only seen one. It was like a week ago, sometime early in the week. I don’t know,” you sighed.

Their eyes widened more as they fully turned to look at each other now.

“Look, I don’t judge you guys or anything,” you rushed, “I just saw it, and I felt like I just invaded your privacy. I’m sorry, and I completely support your relationship, whatever that may be.”

Steve’s brows raised, and Eddie stood there silent and frozen.

You had no chance to read anything from their expressions, but your chest was clenching. You were lying through your teeth because this hurt like hell. You had been confirmed that they were seeing each other in some sort of way, and despite the little piece of you that wanted to believe they were longing for you, you just figured it was time to be rational with yourself.

Eddie scanned Steve’s eyes for any discomfort because though he loved you so much, he also loved Steve. He knew Steve deserved to have his feelings considered in this situation as well.

Steve gave a small nod towards Eddie causing Eddie to sigh. Eddie turned back towards you, stepping closer and grabbing your hand loosely.

“Did you like it?” Eddie asked just above a mumble.

You were taken aback. You rapidly blinked as you tried to think of an answer. Steve shot a small half-smile in your direction.

“I mean, I guess? Is that okay?” you spoke.

The room was stark silent again, and you began to fidget.

“Yes, that’s okay!” Eddie accidentally shouted. “That’s so okay.”

“Perfect even,” Steve chimed in and you let out the breath you had not known you had been holding.

“So how long have you guys been…”

“Well, me and Steve have been “involved” since about his senior year of highschool,” Eddie began as he went to sit on your couch, Steve following suit.

“What?” you questioned, genuinely shocked.

“Yeah, I mean it was just that I bought weed from him at school, then it progressed from me buying weed to smoking with him, then I would hang out at his house, so on and so forth. We became friends yada yada. I realized I liked him, so I went for it. It was already rumored he was a queer,” Steve explained. You just nodded along because this was something Eddie kept from you for a long time. Longer than you thought.

“Yeah, I turned him gay,” Eddie smiled.

“So you both are gay?” you asked in shock because Eddie had never told you this, and now you felt delusional for thinking either of them had feelings towards you. You unconsciously bit your lip and looked away as tears welled in your eyes. How could you have been so stupid and oblivious.

“Well, no,” Eddie spoke up, “We aren’t completely gay.”

“Oh,” you murmured trying to sound as normal as you could.

“Yeah,” Steve said and looked to Eddie who gave him a small smile before turning back in your direction, “We’re not completely gay. I’m bisexual I think it’s called and Eddie is…well he’s just Eddie. See that’s where you come in, babe.”

Steve smiled nervously at you, and Eddie was now fiddling with his hair (something he only did when he was really nervous.)

You slowly turned your head back in the boy’s direction as Steve continued.

“So I know I’m not completely gay because I’ve liked girls, and I actually like one right now. Eddie also is not gay because…well he’s in love with you.”

Your brows raised as every stage of grief went through you, visibly. Eddie was at the edge of the couch, legs bouncing nervously while Steve sat with a face of utter confidence.

“I-but-you-dating?” you stumbled out pointing back and forth towards the two of them.

“Yeah we kinda are, but if I’m being honest, Eddie has probably loved you way before he started liking me,” Steve chuckled.

“What? For how long, Eddie?” you said as your brows furrowed. Eddie who usually had a big mouth was now sat silent.

“I’d probably say since you both were like little babies from the way he talks abo-,” Steve looked at Eddie who now stared at him with wide eyes, “Uhm, I’ll let him talk now.”

“Eddie?” you spoke softly, “I…is this true?”

“I-yes. Yes it’s true. I’ve loved you since, fuck, since I met you. You remember those little fuckers were hassling you because they thought you ate their little fruit snacks, but then I told them I did it,” he cracked a smile.

“Yeah and shared them with me when we got put in time out. I remember,” you smiled as you looking into his eyes, subconsciously scooting closer to the both of them.

“I love you, Y/n. I really do.”

You smiled at him until you remembered Steve was sitting right beside him and that you had very strong feelings for him as well.

“But what about you two? You can’t love me and be dating someone else, Ed. Right?” you asked as you looked towards Steve.

“Right, about that, look Steve has always known I’ve loved you. It’s just that over time as we hung out, we began to like each other on a more intimate level. Honestly, he asked me out, and I would have never even tried to ask him out. That’s how it was with you. If it weren’t for Steve, I would be passing up two of the greatest things to ever happen in my life. I told Steve that I loved you, and that I could see myself loving him,” he explained.

“Yes and I was okay with that. From the beginning, I always knew. I’ve always noticed you to be honest, Y/n. You stood out to me as well as Eddie. I wanted to get to know you too,” Steve smiled.

You felt so overwhelmed with emotions. This was so much to take in and so suddenly. You’d loved Eddie for the majority of your life, and you were beginning to love Steve. You felt your chances with either one of them was already just too good to be true, but now you had both of them confessing to you.

“Oh I…Eddie I love you too,” you smiled, “and Steve, I like you so much. The way I felt about you both is so strong it’s actually physically aggravating. I knew you two were involved even before I found your streams, and I just backed off. Figured it would be easier to deal with. It’s selfish, but I couldn’t imagine being without the either of you,” you chuckled.

“Not selfish at all, honey,” Steve reassured, “Honestly, I think Eddie here should’ve spoken up a long time ago. Pussy.”

“Shut the fuck up!” he retaliated and shoved Steve.

“Okay before you start bickering like children, I do a have question,” you interrupted.

“What’s that, pretty?” Eddie smiled.

“The streaming thing…how long have you been doing that?” you asked genuinely curious. You’d noticed when Eddie started to buy more expensive things, but you doubt that’s when things started up for them.

“Well honestly…right after graduation. I mean I was 20 and fresh out of highschool. Not too many options for me out there in the world, so I started steaming. Steve’s parents kind of threw him out a few months after that and was couch hopping really, but after a while I told him what I did for money. That’s when he joined, and our audience grew, as well as our bank accounts. Now we have a home that we both can feel safe in. And we get to have hot, hot sex to pay the bills,” he smirked. Steve shoved him.

“So, what are you thinking?” Steve asked.

You shook your head in silence, “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier, you idiots?”

Eddie couldn’t help but crack a large smile and shook his head.

“I don’t know because we’re stupid maybe. I do know that I really want to fucking kiss you right now, though.”

“Oh! Okay. Yeah, yes!” you rambled.

Eddie smiled towards you bringing his hands up to cup your face in his hands. Your gaze fell down to him lips before you leaned in. His lips were eager against yours, kiss sloppy and passionate at the same time.

You brought your fingers up to his hair, tugging loosely eliciting a moan from him. You remembered their stream and how big of a slut Eddie seemed for it.

You pulled away quite suddenly, wanting to admire the boy’s flushed face. His lips were slightly red and wet, still puckering.

You guided his face to the side so that you could see Steve’s expression from his spot on the couch.

“C’mere, pretty boy,” you commanded softly. The boy scooted closer to the two of you and you cupped his chin lightly before grazing your thumb over his bottom lip.

You slowly leaned into him. The kiss you two shared was slow and soft, more organized.

“Wanted to kiss you since I met you,” Steve admitted.

“I always want to kiss you, Y/n. Fuck it’s so stupid now to think, but we used to do these little things in our streams in hopes that you would see them and- fuck it’s so stupid. You’ve always been right here, and I’ve always just been a coward,” Eddie said shamefully.

You quickly swooped in to now cup his face, “Eddie, if anyone was the coward, it was me. I had two boys in front of me that I felt absolutely crazy about, and I did nothing about it because of my own insecurities. You’re brave, Ed. Both of you are. You share your most intimate moments to hundreds and thousands of people every week. That’s hot and really fucking brave.”

Eddie nodded with a smile on his face.

“I want to fuck you, and I want you to fuck Steve. I…it’s all I find myself thinking about,” he admitted. You smiled towards him as you pet his hair.

“You alright with that, Steve?” you asked out of concern. You wanted to make sure Steve was on board with everything as well. Poor boy didn’t deserve to ever feel left out.

“Fuck, yes! Have you seen our streams? Pretty sure I beg for it more than Eddie does.”

“So the “mommy” thing…you like that more than Eddie here too or what?” you teased.

“I-“

Steve’s cheeks blushed a deep red.

“Aw, look at that. Stevie wants you to be his mommy,” Eddie pouted sarcastically.

“Shut the fuck up, Eddie,” Steve gritted out. You pouted towards the boy.

“Aw, none of that honey. Be a good boy for mommy, hm?” you reached out to cradle his chin in your hand.

Steve visibly softened and nodded.

“Eddie, kiss him to make up for being a bully,” you commanded suddenly, now beginning to grow into the dominant role. You also just really wanted to see them kiss.

Eddie quickly moved over towards Steve. He hovered over him before leaning down to press a hot kiss onto the boy’s lips.

He absolutely ravished the boy. You could feel the hunger they had for each other in the air, and it made you throb.

Eddie crawled onto his lap in a haste, hands traveling from Steve’s perfectly styled hair down to his chest.

Steve wrapped his arms around the boy’s torso before reaching to remove his shirt. Eddie quickly yanked it over his own head and moved on to removing Steve’s shirt.

You could feel your arousal pool in your panties it seemed.

Eddie began to grind down onto Steve’s lap, and light moans escaped Steve’s mouth.

You decided now was the time to interrupt.

“Alright, Eddie. Don’t hog all the fun,” you smirked as you sat beside Steve, “Mommy deserves to have fun too. Right, Steve?”

Steve nodded adoringly as he stared up at you. Eddie moved from his lap and began sloppily kissing over the boy’s shoulder and chest.

“Want you on me, mommy,” he whined as he tugged you onto him, “Want you here so bad. Always want you.”

“Steve,” you chuckled, “I’m too heavy for that, love.”

Steve eyed you then looked over towards Eddie before shaking his head and giggling. He pulled you down onto him suddenly and positioned you to a more comfortable position.

“See, baby. Not too heavy for big, strong Stevie,” Eddie smiled and placed a peck to your lips.

“Now, I don’t think that Eddie and I should be the only ones half naked.” Steve smiled up at you.

You sighed and nodded softly. You’ve slept with a few people, but this was so different. This felt much more intimate and exposing. You trusted these boys with your life, but you still couldn’t help but think that they might judge you.

You decided to swallow your nerves and fully give into the dominant persona.

“I’ll decide when I take anything off,” you scolded as you yanked Steve back by his hair, “Understand?”

Steve nodded as his Adam’s apple bobbed.

You let him go and pulled off your t-shirt, leaving you in your lounging bra. You did not expect them to be coming over or for that to lead to fucking.

You threw you shirt off to the side and gulped.

“So sexy, mommy,” Eddie groaned.

You couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face. You reached out to pull Eddie into a hot kiss.

Steve ground you down onto his lap, and you could feel that he was hard through his jeans. He was so easy. You couldn’t help but smirk into the kiss you shared with Eddie.

“Hard already?” you joked. He nodded up at you, doe eyes wide. “Okay, pants off.”

You stood up as you watched them scramble to get their pants off. Eddie was the first to shimmy his down his legs, black boxers covering him. Though Steve was quick to unbuckle his pants, he hesitated before pulling them down.

“Hey, you okay with this, Steve?” you asked him, concern written all over your face.

“Uhm, yeah. Just that I’m…I’m not wearing boxers…” he smiled nervously.

“Going commando?” you smiled.

He looked uneasy, and when you looked over towards Eddie, he was just wearing a proud smug.

He shook his head.

“Oh,” you gasped as you realized, “Oh.”

Steve nodded before another nervous smile plastered across his face.

“Well, take off your pants, Steve. Lemme see,” you smiled widely.

He gulped before shimmying out of the tight jeans. They always made his ass look so good, you couldn’t help but wonder what it looked like bare and in real life.

Under his pants were white, lacy briefs.

“Tuh,” you let out and propped yourself onto one leg.

Steve still looked visibly nervous, so you smiled towards him, then towards Eddie.

“Eddie,” you started, “Give ‘em a lil kiss to make him feel better.”

Eddie wasted no time hopping onto Steve’s lap. He began grinding down onto the boy as they kissed messily again. Steve wrapped his arms around the small of Eddie’s back, and groaned into the kiss.

You couldn’t help but trail your fingers down to your underwear to rub over your aching clit at the scene. You couldn’t even think about shame at this point.

Eddie pulled away from Steve and turned back towards you. He pecked Steve’s lips before getting off of his lap and directing you onto the couch.

You sat down, letting out a heavy sigh as he crawled over you and began to kiss down your neck. Steve who sat to the right of you began to leave soft, sensual kisses down your shoulders and arms as Eddie kissed down your chest.

He massaged your right breast before letting out a groan.

“Such pretty titties, baby. I love ‘em. Always wanted to tell you, I was always lookin’ at em. Fuck,” he murmured and pulled your boob out so that it was spilling out over your bra. He quickly latched onto your nipple, moaning at the taste of your skin.

You can’t help but moan at the sudden attention to your breasts. They weren’t all that sensitive, but the scene itself made your body twitch.

He flicked his tongue over the hardening nipple as he stared up into your eyes.

“So pretty, Eddie,” you smiled down towards the boy. He looked over to Steve and guided his head towards the nipple that was previously in his mouth.

Steve moaned around your nipple.

Eddie began kissing down your body. He placed multiple kisses over your large tummy, seemingly kissing every stretch mark that lingered the skin.

His hands splayed across your stomach.

As he got down to where your panties rested upon your wide hips, he looked up towards you as he placed slow kisses along your lower stomach.

He used his teeth to pull at the elastic waist band before allowing it to snap back onto your skin.

You couldn’t help the gasp that escaped from

your mouth as Steve decided to teasingly bite down on your nipple.

Eddie continued leaving teasing kisses around your lower stomach and hips. You began to lose your patience.

“Won’t you hurry things alone, please?” you said demandingly albeit breathlessly.

Eddie smiled mischievously up towards you, “Anything for you, baby.”

He slowly moved the cotton underwear down your legs, slowly revealing your throbbing wetness, hidden away underneath your hair there.

Eddie had grown impatient as more of you were revealed and quickly yanked the panties on down your legs.

Once they were fully off, he pried your legs open and rested his head on your left thigh.

You had no time to be insecure over the fact that you had a steady growing bush down there because as soon as he was settled, Eddie breathed in your scent as he unconsciously bit his lip. He could feel his mouth pooling from the salivating he was doing.

He breathed you in, “Smell so good. I could sit here forever and just breathe you in. Can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this.”

He placed kisses onto your thighs and outer lips, tugging at your pubic hairs as well.

You were growing restless, and Steve could sense that. He had moved back up from your chest now, stroking your cheek and pressing light kisses to it.

“Stevie, you gotta get down here. Smell so good, not fair of me to have it all to myself, right?”

Steve smiled at you as he nodded. He moved down your body, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips, chest, and stomach before he settled on his knees alongside Eddie.

Eddie pulled him into an urgent kiss before pulling your legs farther apart and directing his head in the direction of the sopping pussy sitting in front of them.

Your chest was heaving in impatience. Eddie was petting Steve’s hair as he sweet talked him.

“Look at that fat pussy. So pretty. You ever seen a pussy that pretty, Steve? I sure as hell haven’t,” he groaned.

“Mm mm, prettiest pussy I’ve ever set my eyes on,” he responded.

You were now so turned on that you contemplated smothering one of them into your wet heat.

“If one of you don’t get to eating my pussy right now, I’m getting up and fucking my damn self,” you sassed.

Their eyes widened at the sudden outburst and Eddie smiled.

“Hm, I suppose we wouldn’t want that. Steve, why don’t you get the first taste? I know you’re great with your tongue,” Eddie explained, “Made me cum just by eating my ass. Talented little mouth.”

Meanwhile, Steve was turning bright red. The act of eating another man’s ass was already so taboo, and to have Eddie just outright admit to it made him feel a tad shameful.

You smiled down at the boy who looked a bit uneasy. You thumbed at his cheek before guiding his head towards your pussy, “I’ll have to be the judge of that now won’t I?”

Steve gave a nervous smile and leaned in. He felt odd. He was a pro at eating pussy, it was his specialty after all. He was never nervous about his performance, yet this felt different.

He swallowed his nerves before wetting his lips. He looked up towards you as he sensually spread your plump outer lips and inched towards your swollen clit.

He gave it a small lick before sucking it into his mouth. You could barely see him over the plushness of your stomach, but that didn’t matter because as soon as he created suction around your clit, your head was thrown back and moans were spewing from your mouth.

Eddie caressed your thigh as he pet Steve’s hair.

“Doing so good, huh? Making mommy feel so good?” he praised, “Yeah, eat that pussy, baby.”

Eddie was gripping onto your thigh tightly as Steve was swirling his tongue around your clit. He dipped his tongue down towards your dripping hole before licking back up the entirety of your cunt.

The surplus of sensations caused you to grab Eddie’s hand to ground yourself.

“Want you too, Eddie. Want you to eat me,” you breathed out. Eddie smiled up at you.

“Your wish, my command.”

You couldn’t help but cringe at the corny statement. Steve even pulled away from you to scold Eddie.

“Really, bro?”

“Shut up,” he retaliated and dove into your pussy suddenly.

He flicked his tongue up and down your clit before sucking down on it. He pulled off with a pop and placed a soft kiss to it.

“Taste better than I ever imagined,” he hummed. “I mean, eating ass is great, but pussy just, mmph. Especially mommy’s pussy, right Steve?”

“Fuck yes,” he panted, “So pretty too. Everything about you is just gorgeous.”

Your chest was heaving as you looked down at the two loves of your life.

“Okay, okay. Enough with the flattery. Back to making me cum.”

Eddie smirked and dove right in. Steve, being the competitive boy he was, spread your legs even wider, nudging himself into place.

Both of the boys took turns swiping at your clit. The scene was so erotic that you couldn’t help picking up your phone to snap a picture of the boys going to town on your cunt.

“Sharing so well. So good for m-mommy,” you spoke brokenly. “Fuck, ‘m close. Gonna make me cum.”

You threw your phone down as the boys sped up their collective motions.

Steve moved to completely suck your clit into his mouth. Just as Eddie was about to slide a finger into your aching hole, your legs began to twitch.

“Fuck, I’m cumming!” you shouted as soon as Eddie managed to fit his entire middle finger into your cunt.

Steve continued is menstruations of slurping on your pussy. The sounds of the lewdness filled the room as he sucked you through your orgasm.

Your body let out a final twitch before you slumped completely back on the couch, pushing Steve’s head away as he was beginning to overstimulate you.

You laid there, chest heaving as you seemed to be slipping in and out of consciousness.

Eddie and Steve climbed up towards where you were laid back, and they began pressing comforting kisses to your chubby cheeks.

Eddie, being the dumbass he is, sucked a large portion of your cheek into his mouth before letting go.

“Aw, Eddie! What the fuck,” you groaned and went to wipe your cheek.

“Dude?” Steve spoke up.

“What? You want a kissy too?” he teased. Steve huffed, and you couldn’t help but giggle. This caused your thigh to rub up against Steve, more specifically, his hard dick.

“Mmph,” he let out. You flinched a little but quickly realized he was so sensitive because he had not cum yet.

You quickly reached out to caress his cheek and pouted at him, “Aw, poor baby. You still need to get off, don’t you?”

He nodded, giving you his best doe eyes before he panted a quick “yes” out.

You turned over completely to face Steve, unconsciously giving Eddie full access to your ass.

“Here, let’s get you outta’ these,” you spoke as you went to tug Steve’s briefs down so that they were just under his balls that sat heavy and taut.

You admired the boy’s length. It was a blushing pink color that, oddly enough, matched the color of his nipples exactly.

You gripped the length and dipped your finger into the tip.

“You’re leaking,” you smiled as string of the pre connected your finger to the tip as you pulled it away.

“Can’t help it,” he replied, already blissed out. He looked down at you with lidded eyes. You brought your hand up to your mouth to spit into it, then you wrapped it around Steve’s dick, giving it two experimental strokes.

“Feel good?”

Steve nodded rapidly.

“Good.”

Eddie was groping the fat of your thighs and trailing his hands up your large tummy before he ended up squeezing your tits in hand.

You continued to stroke Steve, steadily picking up the pace. The boy let out airy little sounds in your ear as his eyes fluttered shut, and he took in the softness of your hands as opposed to Eddie’s usual rough ones.

“So pretty, Stevie,” you complimented, “Isn’t he pretty, Eddie?”

“Eh, he’s alright. What about me, baby? Am I pretty?” he asked as he went to grip the entirety of your fat cunt in his hand.

You gasped at the lewd act before moaning from the sensitivity.

“You’re pretty too, Ed. So pretty and sexy,” you said breathily as you felt the boy’s fingers rub over your clit and begin to prod at your hole.

You turned your attention back to Steve to speed up jerking his dick.

“So good” you whispered just as Eddie slid one finger into you. “Fuck, so good.”

“So tight. Mommy’s so tight, Steve. Would think this was a virgin pussy if I didn’t know any better,” Eddie smiled against your skin as he began to finger you rougher, adding a second finger. “Wanna fuck you so bad, baby. Can I? Please? Need my dick in you. Need to feel you, make you mine.”

Something about those words triggered you, made you almost insatiable.

“Yeah, fuck yeah. Wanna feel you, Ed.”

You took your hand off of Steve’s throbbing cock and pushed away from him so that you could be lying on your back again. You adjusted yourself on the couch so you were seated farther up.

“Want to look in your face while you fuck me.”

“Anything you want, baby.”

This was your first real look at Eddie’s dick. It was cute! He had his hairs neatly trimmed into the shape of bat. You couldn’t help but smile at that, and his dick was an angry red color as opposed to Steve’s pretty, pink one.

Steve sat up beside you, wrapping one hand around his cock and the other around your shoulder.

Eddie spread your fat outer lips apart to get a good look at your pussy.

“So fucking pretty, Mommy,” he smiled down at you as he went to rub his dick against the slickness of your cunt, repeatedly bumping your clit. “Nghn, fuck yeah.”

“Fuck, want to feel my dick in that warm pussy,” Steve rasped against your neck between kisses he began placing to help ground you.

“You’ll get your turn soon, Stevie,” you assured, “promise.”

“Fuck, I can’t wait,” Eddie slid the tip of his cock into you before stopping, “That good? Is it okay, Mommy?”

You nodded and pushed one of his curls that were dangling in his face behind his ear.

“So good, baby. Keep goin’.”

He nodded and continued to push his way into you. He was much more gentler with you than the other couple of guys you’d slept with. They all seemed to treat sex like a race to the finish line, forcing their way in almost, aimlessly thrusting into you, and not really giving a fuck about your pleasure after the initial foreplay.

“Fuckkkkkk,” he groaned and bit down on his bottom lip. As he bottomed out, he had to sit still for a moment and turn his focus to the ceiling because the feeling of the girl he loved wrapped tight and hot around his dick and you sitting there kissing his boyfriend as you took his dick was bound to make him cum before he wanted to.

“Take your time, Ed. I know how you get,” Steve smirked teasingly. The two just bantered so much, even in the middle of passionate sex.

“Steve, why don’t you fuck Eddie for Mommy? Don’t you want to stick your dick somewhere?” you smiled cheekily.

“Mm, he doesn’t deserve any fucking dick,” Steve mumbled into your neck.

“Fuck, if I didn’t have my dick in the girl of my dreams right now I swear I wou-“

You cut Eddie off with a warning slap to the cheek before you grabbed his chin and forced his attention onto you.

“Shut the fuck up and fuck me like you mean it,” you gritted.

Eddie quickly closed his mouth and nodded. He placed his hands on the back of your couch for more leverage and began to fuck into you at a rougher, faster, more meaningful pace. You were very thankful that the boy was a musician and had rhythm.

“Steve,” you panted, “Get Eddie ready for your dick, or you won’t be cumming at all.

Your eyes held this sense of seriousness in them that turned Steve on beyond belief. He loved to be pushed around and told what to do, and while Eddie was pretty good at it, his demeanor often changed. He was very switchy to say the least.

Steve nodded and got up from his spot beside you to look for a packet of lube he knew Eddie kept in his wallet.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good, baby. I could cream this pussy right now,” Eddie groaned before leaning down to kiss you deeply. He attacked your tongue with his, saliva dripping down both your chins.

Steve settled behind the boy and ripped open the lube packet. He poured a bit of it on his fingers and rubbed them together to warm them up.

Without warning, he pulled Eddie’s cheeks apart and licked a long stripe from his balls to his hole.

Eddie faltered inside you a bit, causing him to go impossibly deeper. You whimpered at that before smiling up at the boy.

Steve held Eddie’s left cheek open before he went in with the two of his lubed fingers.

The sudden action made Eddie whimper loudly and slow down his thrusts into you.

“What the fuck, Steve?” he said in a very whiny tone.

You looked back towards Steve who was quickly moving his fingers in and out of Eddie. You smiled at his eagerness and directed your attention back to Eddie.

“His fingers feel good in your pussy, baby?” you cooed. “Bet they fucking do.”

Eddie whimpered as Steve added a third finger in.

“Fuck yes!”

Steve had gotten down on his knees behind the boy, watching the way his fingers rapidly entered and exited the boy’s pink, tight little hole.

“I can’t wait anymore, Eds,” he groaned, “Need to fuck this ass.”

Eddie nodded and stopped his movements inside you completely, allowing Steve to line his cock up with his hole.

“Ready, Ed?” he asked.

“Yes! Get your cock in me.”
Steve wasted no time pushing in, quickly bottoming out.

Eddie’s eyes rolled back in his head at the feeling of fullness. He loved it so fucking much despite how often he topped Steve as opposed to bottoming.

“Feel too good, Eddie? Think Steve can start moving yet, or are you going to cum?” you fake pouted at the boy.

“Yes, yes! You can move, Steve. I won’t cum till you do, Mommy. Won’t cream this pussy until I make it cum,” he panted.

“Alright,” Steve huffed before he began pounding into Eddie, giving the boy absolutely no time to prepare.

“Oh fuck,” Eddie whimpered as he fell forward a bit. Steve’s hard thrusts made Eddie thrust into you.

He took a moment to breathe before he picked up his pace in you. His thrusts into you caused him to thrust back onto Steve harder.

He pried your pussy lips apart so that he could thumb at your clit.

“That feel good, pretty?” he asked as he circled your clit with the thumb.

You nodded at the pressure, making you get closer and closer to cumming yourself. 
“Fuck yes,” you moaned and pulled Eddie into a hot, rushed kiss.

You looked up to see Steve staring down at the two of you, smirking.

“This is probably Eddie’s wet dream come true,” he smiled, “little perv probably been dreaming of this since high school.”

The admission of that was enough to make you clench hard around Eddie cock.

Steve rearranged himself so that he would be pressed up against Eddie’s g-spot with each rapid thrust.

Eddie was all whimpers now, fucking into you as quickly as his hips would let him so he could feel Steve’s heavy cock pressing into him harder and rougher.

“Make me cum, Eddie. Come on. I’m so fucking close!” you squealed as your thighs trembled.

Eddie replaced his thumb with his entire hand to rub across your clit quickly.

“Right there!” you shrieked as you clinched down around Eddie hard, cumming all over his cock.

Eddie kept thrusting into you as he was so close to cumming himself.

“Just a little more baby. J-just a little bit more for me, yeah?” he whimpered.

You let him continue to thrust into you, way too deep in pleasure to even think of stopping him despite your pussy being so sensitive.

Steve was gripping his hips tightly, probably leaving bruises as he watched the boy’s ass clap back onto his thighs.

“Fuck yeah, Eddie. Clenching so tight. Are you gonna cum? Cum in Mommy’s pussy!” he asked breathlessly, barely heard over the sound of their skin clapping together.

“Fuck! Cumming!” he shouted as Steve stroked particularly hard against his prostate. He came deep inside you, causing you to let out a little stream of squirt.

“Damn that’s fucking hot,” Eddie groaned as he thrust himself through his orgasm.

“Ohhhh, fuck,” you whined. “Out! No more. Too much!”

Steve pulled Eddie away from you as the boy was almost incapable of doing anything other than shaking like a leaf on top of you.

Steve pulled out of the boy’s hole, holding his cheeks open to watch it clinch and unclinch.

He laid Eddie beside you as he jerked his cock over the both of you.

“So hot, Stevie,” Eddie sighed sleepily.

“Cum for us, baby,” you smiled up at him before you leaned over to kiss Eddie.

You spread your legs again so that your puffy, used, and leaking cunt was on display to the boy.

Seeing Eddie’s cum leak out of your cunt ultimately made Steve cum. He angled his cock so that white, milky strings landed across your tummy and Eddie’s chest.

“Mmf,” he grunted as the final strings of cum left his dick.

His chest heaved as he plopped down onto the couch beside you both.

You all laid there, naked, sweaty, cummy messes.

“So…who wants to shower with, Mommy?”

Tbh this took sm time and was so rough to write. Writing threesomes IS NOT for the weak…so I definitely won’t be doing it anytime soon! Hope you guys liked it though.

Taglist: @emma-munson @user4837373 @paradisepoisons @thedoubleexposurephotography @palmtreesx3 @julesfromeuphoriaismyimaginarygf

[lurkingshan]

What are some JBLs you recommend that have good kisses AND a good romance plot

LOL I can hear the pain behind this question, anon. It’s true that a lot of JBLs with a good romance story fail to deliver on the physical intimacy side of things, though that is becoming less and less the norm. I do have some that I think do both reasonably well. I don’t know exactly what “good romance” means to you, but I’m going to assume we’re talking about well-executed romance plots, regardless of the show’s overall genre and focus, where the characters and relationship arc make sense and don’t randomly derail somewhere along the way. Here’s what I got:

I Cannot Reach You

This is a high school friends to lovers (the cream of the crop for that trope, IMO). This is a story about realizing feelings and building the courage to change your most important relationship, so you’ll have to wait a bit to get those kisses but once you do, I think you’ll be pleased.

His

The second chance romance for me. This is a bl film about two men who come back together after a bad breakup and figure out how to make it work. I love them and this story so much.

Old Fashion Cupcake

There’s only one kiss in this short and sweet show, but it’s a real doozy. A super tight workplace age gap romance that knows exactly what it’s doing.

At 25:00 in Akasaka

Two actors who went to college together meet again when they are cast opposite each other in a bl drama, and get tangled up in the blurred lines between their professional and personal relationships. Angst, baby!

The Pornographer

This series features some of the best kissing and sex scenes you will see anywhere in the bl genre, but warning that it’s a twisted and wild ride. There are five installments and you gotta watch them all to see the full picture of the character and romance arcs. It’s so rewarding if you do.

The End of the World With You

From the same mind of the previous entry and similarly hot and wild and weird. This show has more going on than the second chance romance at its core, but it themes come together beautifully.

Tokyo In April Is…

Another second chance romance, this one features a lot of sex but also deals with heavy subject matter, so mind the CWs. It’s one of my favorites of last year and the love story in this one has really stuck with me; it’s beautiful and so hard won.

Love is Better the Second Time Around

This one comes with a disclaimer that it goes off the rails in the final two episodes, but you asked for good kissing so it would feel wrong not to include it. Yet another second chance romance (are you picking up on a theme here?), this one gets two former high school lovers back together as adults to sort out their misunderstandings, lingering feelings, and buckets of sexual tension. It was so good—until it wasn’t.

[maxislvt]

Sink Your Teeth In

pairing(s): vampire!natasha romanoff x werewolf!reader

summary: Vampires and werewolves were known enemies, but Natasha is more than willing to change that. Even if it's just for one night.

warning: amab!reader, blowjobs, sub!reader, slight dubcon

a/n: ummm nat gives the best head case closed

Event Masterlist

Werewolves and vampires were always at odds with each other. Not a thousand years could go by without vampires attacking werewolves or werewolves attacking vampires. It was all the same bloodline ending bullshit. 'Your father killed mine and now I must kill you!' over and over again. Some of those fathers weren't even worth killing anyone over. It was truly a shame that no one could see how compatible the two factions were. Vampires were strict, organized people that valued loyalty above all else. Werewolves were nothing short of loyal and obedient, you just had to train them. Natasha was so close to finding the perfect werewolf for her to prove that. 

Natasha had tried many times to tame a werewolf, but she'd run into a number of problems. They could be taught, but not many of them were willing to learn— especially not from a vampire. As disappointing as it was, it wasn't exactly a shock. A millennium long feuds were rarely ever one sided. Her previous attempts were also foiled by pride, shame, and simply being too boring to have any real fun.

So, Natasha spent another Friday night on the prowl.

Club Sonar was a rather interesting place. A tall building in the middle of nowhere buzzing with all forms of life. Monsters from all over the globe came together under the moon just to party. It was a messy place. The music was loud, bodies grinded against each other without a care, and secrets of all kinds were shared over the strongest alcohol. Though cultures mixed, money did not. 

Each floor of the bar was more expensive than the last. The alcohol got smoother, the music got slower, and the floors actually got cleaned. Upper floors were for people who supported the cause but had no interest in getting dirty. Natasha had more than enough money to sit at the top floor, but that wasn't any fun. She'd never find what she was looking for if she stayed up there. 

Werewolves were just as wealthy as vampires, but they were rowdy. They liked to play rough and get dirty. Big fancy houses just didn't appeal to them as much. Fancy clubs appealed to them even less. Natasha wasn't looking to tame someone — not to say her hand couldn't be forced — she was looking for someone soft and easy to mold. 

You weren't the easiest to find. Despite your size, the people on the dancefloor had no trouble pushing you around. You kept your head down no matter where you went. Natasha could tell you weren't there on your own, which made it harder to take you home. Not too hard though.

"This really isn't your scene," she said when she took the bar stool next to you. It was hard to keep her eyes in the right place. Your shyness was adorable, but there was no denying what she was really feeling. 

You looked around to make sure she was actually talking to you.  Though you weren't opposed to the conversation, it was hard to believe such a pretty woman had approached you. "Um, no. My friends wanted to come here. I mean it's cool just…couldn't we have a library or something? There's no point in intermingling if you're too drunk to remember what you're kissing."

Natasha laughed and scooted closer to you. "I guess you're right, but there's no shame in being curious. Right?" She looked at the glass in front of you. "Oh, that just won't do." Before you could interject, she tapped the countertop twice and brought over the bartender. It was a quick exchange, you didn't even see Natasha pull out any cash. Despite your confusion, you didn't put up a fight. You were exactly what Natasha was looking for. 

Guilt filled your eyes when you looked down at the fresh cocktail in front of you. Was it more rude to let it go to waste or ask the bartender for a refund? "Oh, you really didn't have to do that." Your hands hesitantly wrapped around the glass before taking a sip of the alcohol. The burn hit you immediately, but you tried to play it off. You tensed up to hold in the coughing fit building up in your chest. "It's…great, thanks," you forced out through a tight chest. 

Natasha gave you a firm pat on the back to force you to cough. She took away the glass and slid this towards you. "I would expect a werewolf to have a stronger alcohol tolerance," she said teasingly. Her hand stayed on your back even after your coughing had subsided. 

You shook your head. "A lot of us have sensitive pallets. I can taste whatever crappy oak barrel they made this in." There was an unexpected comfort in the way she touched you. "I should have asked this earlier, but what's your name?" You sat up straight as her hand moved down your back. You never really paid attention to your posture, but you had the strange urge to be better around her. 

"My name's Natasha, but you can call me Nat if you want. What's yours?"

"My name is Y/N. I don't really have a nickname, but whatever you come up with is fine." 

The conversation continued without trouble. Natasha seemed so enamored with how strong your pallet was. At the expense of Natasha's wallet and your sobriety, you had tasted just about every drink the bar had to offer. Eventually, you settled on just drinking strawberry daiquiris while you two talked. 

Natasha pulled your seat closer to her and she leaned down to whisper in your ear. "So how many more of those little smoothies do I have to buy to take you home with me?" Her hand slid up your thigh and gave it a firm squeeze. She could feel your dick twitching already. "I promise I'll only bite where it feels good."

You practically jumped out of your skin when Natasha kissed your neck. It was quick, but you could feel the pointed tips of her fangs brush against your skin. "Um..Can I finish this one first?" Before Natasha could say anything else you pulled out your phone and texted your friends. 'Leaving with a hot lady, ttyl!' was all you sent before cutting off your phone and downing the last of your drink. 

Natasha adored your enthusiasm. "I promise I'll get you home safe in the morning." She kissed your neck one last time before dragging you outside to her car. It was a good thing she brought her chauffeur along because there was no way she'd be able to keep her hands off you the entire ride home. 

You stumbled behind Natasha as best you could. Vampires were usually weaker than werewolves, but you were a little too tipsy to show your strength. You let Wanda push you into the backseat of her car. One sniff of the air and you could tell someone else was in the car. "You have a chauffeur?" Natasha covered your mouth and pushed you further into the backseat. 

"Home," was all she told the driver before closing the partition and focusing her attention on you. "Yes, but I promise the back of the car is soundproof." It certainly wasn't, but she needed to hear how whiny you could get. Natasha practically pounced on you after she closed the door. The kiss was hot and passionate. Your fangs bumped against hers every time your lips collided. "Can you taste what I drank earlier?" She asked with a giggle. 

A whine escaped your lips when Natasha pulled away. "Um…a lot of vodka and cooper..?" Your answer earned you another kiss. Natasha's lips felt like heaven against yours. She overwhelmed all your senses in the most delicious way possible. You didn't even notice how hard you'd gotten. "You smell…really good." You mumbled in the handful of seconds between kisses. 

She chuckled but didn't respond. You were too cute. "I'm going to make you feel so good tonight." Natasha's kisses moved down the side of your jaw until she reached the base of your neck. Her hands wasted no time undoing your belt and tossing it on the car's floor. One of her fingers circled around the tip of the tent in your pants while she watched you squirm. "You're so sensitive."

You opened your mouth to speak only to be interrupted by a string of cursing and desperate whimpering. "Sorry, I'm just new to all of this," you confessed. It was a little hard to imagine your first time going to a bar would take such a turn. 

"Don't tell me someone as cute as you is still a virgin." Your silence was enough. It was as arousing as it was disappointing. Natasha didn't want to go slow by any means, but the thought of getting to corrupt that innocent little mind of yours was exhilarating. "I promise I'll be extra gentle with your little friend." 

The car parked before Natasha could pull down your boxers. Natasha's lust-driven craze left you in quite an awkward position while waiting for her to unlock the door. Holding your pants up only made your bulge stand out more and there was an obscene amount of lipstick covering your neck. You hoped Natasha wasn't secretly vampire famous or else you'd be in real trouble. 

Natasha pulled you into her home and wasted no time undressing you. Your shoes, shorts, sweater, and T-shirt littered the soft carpet. Natasha had you completely naked by the time she pushed you onto the bed. "You're making a mess already," she whispered seductively as she crawled onto the bed. Her eyes focused on the way your member throbbed and leaked precum. 

Your eyes followed Natasha's as she began stroking your member. It was tortuously slow, but it felt good. A near-pornographic moan fell from your lips as your head tilted back. "Your hands are so soft," you whimpered pathetically. All your willpower went into staying still. You didn't know what to do with yourself. "C-can I touch you too?" You blindly reached out and grabbed the first thing you could feel. Mindlessly, you groped the soft flesh in hopes that it would make Natasha feel good too. Your face burned bright red as she moved your hand to where her breast actually was. “Sorry…I wasn’t looking,” you mumbled. 

Natasha kissed up the underside of your cock before licking all the way down to the base. “A good pup would pay attention to someone making them feel this good.” She waited until you looked down at her. Once she was sure you wouldn’t look away, she swallowed you down to the base. Her cheeks hallowed out as she began sucking you off.

Your hips twitched and your eyelids fluttered, but you tried your best to keep your eyes open. As your orgasm got closer, you found it harder to control yourself. An animalistic growl ripped through your throat as you tried to control yourself. Your fangs forced themselves out of your mouth and your claws had nearly ripped Natasha’s sheets. “W-wait, slow down,” were the only words you could get out before it happened. 

Hot white cum painted the inside of Natasha’s throat as she swallowed down everything you gave her. Natasha didn’t give you a break and continued until you pushed her away. “Is that all you have left?” She blew on your bulbous tip before giving it a kiss.

“N-no, I just…I need a second. That’s all.”

[showtoonzfan]

Now that the episode is out officially, here’s my rant review of Oops!

PROS:

- Fizz and Ozzie were adorable and I honestly love them. Despite the sex jokes, you can tell they love each other for who they are OUTSIDE of sex. While I did wish we would have seen more, (like how Ozzie took him in and fell in love) they’re still adorable to watch. They’re the better version of Stolitz, can the show be about them instead?

- Brandon’s voice acting holy shit, he really knows how to sound like he’s in tears or is broken. As much as I hate the character and feel no sympathy, he displayed genuine and broken emotion very well.

- Alex Brightman Alex Brightman

Okay that’s it. Moving on to the Cons. Bear with me, it’s a lot and I go back and forth a bit. 😭

CONS:

So for a quick short summary, this episode:

- Once again puts more focus on the filler plot rather than actually focusing on the relationships between the characters, so all we're left with is a 10 second clip of Fizz being burned while the rest of the episode is surrounded on sex jokes/petty bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around.

- Completely erases what made Blitz and Fizz's dynamic interesting in the first place because it retcons it with a dumb miscommunication trope about how Fizz actually wanted to see Blitz and Blitz tried reaching out to him. Not only does this feel like a cheap attempt to make Blitz out to be sweet/sympathetic and NOT the one in the wrong so Fizz can suck up to him, but this also makes no sense within the narrative.

- Has Fizz forgive Blitz despite him being the last person anyone would think would forgive him. (So honestly ruins Fizz himself because it turned him into a soft boy who's forgiving compared to the asshole he was in Ozzie's) All because Viv would sell her whole soul before she even remotely considers painting characters like Blitz and Stolas out to be the one's in the wrong.

- Takes Stolas out of the hospital completely, erasing all the drama/tension Western Energy had and proves that that episode was utterly pointless.

- Turns Striker from an interesting complex villain to a Saturday morning cartoon goon.

- Proves to us that Crimson is just a flat tool and gives us more prove that the world building rules Viv set up in season 1 legit don't matter.

-Ruins Blitz/Barbie's feud now because now you're making Barbie look like the one in the wrong since the fire was an accident. God forbid a female characters emotions in this show are justified.

But if you want my more in depth rants, it’s under the cut! (There’s a lot so bear with me lol)

- As usual WAAY too many sex jokes and swearing. It gets annoying and repetitive at times and some of them distract from the main plot. There’s a long and I mean LONNG dragged out joke of Fizz talking about Ozzie’s dick, then later saying he’s hard when Striker has a gun to his head, as well as Blitz making a joke about him and Fizz making out once they hug. Again, Viv can’t be serious for 2 seconds without an unfunny shitty gag. I genuinely wonder if Hazbin is ganna be like this, where a character is in a life threatening situation or a deep dark serious scene happens only for the next scene to be sex related.

- This is one of those “shit happens because the plot demands it” and it shows. Crimson and Striker COINCIDENTLY meet up with each other, and Fizz and Blitz just so HAPPEN to be in the same exact area they are. Viv wonders why we call her shit a fanfic and this is what we mean, when she creates wild wacky plots and focuses more on THAT rather than the actual character writing. This entire episode hinges on a useless poorly last minute planned kidnapping plot that didn’t need to happen. Also way to once again make the characters idiots so the plot can happen, cause Fizz KNOWS Ozzie worries for him and that the Greed Ring is dangerous, yet purposefully puts the spotlight on him.

- Stolas did NOT need to be in this episode. The plot completely ignores the fact that he was in the hospital the last time we saw him, and he’s only here for Stolitz banter. You’d think that a character admitting they have feelings for someone would be a big deal but he just flat out says it and it’s so underwhelming and feels half assed with no weight to it. Fan comics have made more dedication to this than Viv has. We're supposed to believe him too despite the show failing to actually SHOW us this. Same for Blitz ranting about how “nice” Stolas has been to him, laughing at his jokes and liking his posts…hey Viv, can we actually SEE that on screen so it’s more believable? Or are you only determined to show them sexually flirting? 😑

- Once again Viv felt the need to shove a B plot into this episode and this one sucks because it’s just two characters sitting and doing fucking nothing. It felt like Viv had no idea what to do with Stolas and Ozzie, and I refuse to believe that Ozzie just sat there knowing Fizz was in danger. If anything he would have said “fuck the paperwork” and went to save Fizz himself. Way to show that gif of Ozzie getting mad as a sneak peak to get fans excited, only to see that Ozzie spends the rest of the episode sitting in a dark room LMAO what a let down.

- Ozzie is weirdly chill and cool with Stolas and it’s something I don’t get. While he did say that Stolas had the real “spirit of Lust” in S1E7, it still gave you the impression that he was also more poking fun at Stolas rather than respecting him. The whole point of House of Asmodeous was that Ozzie outs him and publicly embarrassed him. Stolas literally was intimidated just by Asmodeous’s mere name, and hid his face around him. It seemed like Stolas certainly didn’t want someone like Ozzie to know about his private life especially since they’re both part of the Ars Goetia. Now here Ozzie is just cool with him and it feels like a missed opportunity for their dynamic.

- Stolas confessing his feelings about Blitz also makes…no sense narrative wise. I thought the whole point of The Circus and the ending to Western Energy was that he was realizing that Blitz didn’t like him that way and was finally waking up. I thought that’s why he was doing this whole crystal deal in the first place, so he can let Blitz go, yet the show keeps flip flopping and insisting that these two love each other and are good for each other. It’s really making you realize how this season and the previous stuff set up is becoming nonsense because the writers retcon EVERY damn episode. Also….why the hell is Stolas telling Ozzie his feelings for Blitz? Out of all people, why is it Ozzie, the person who outed Stolas and embarrassed him. Why is Stolas even respectful of Ozzie? He has no reason to, and he’s not under the impression that he’s dating Fizz either. I get that he needs the crystal but mentioning his love for Blitz makes no sense.

- Striker and Crimson teaming up to kidnap Blitz and Fizz was such an ass puller last minute decision. It feels overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time, more because it feels like Viv has no idea what to do with these two villain characters other than give them something evil to do to start the plot. Also…why…are they working together? It feels so random.

- Striker’s character especially is all over the place. First he’s working for Stella, then he’s painted as the best assassin in hell, and now he’s…looking for more work I guess and working for Crimson? Why? Does this guy even have a motive anymore? It feels like his character is just dangling around until Viv wants to use him for another wattpad kidnap plot and it ESPECIALLY shows when Striker escapes for the THIRD fucking time. Can this character/storyline actually GO somewhere or are you just going to keep introducing him and have him run away. 🤦🏽‍♀️

— How did Crimson not know who Striker is despite him being labeled as “the most popular assassin in hell”, and how the hell does Crimson know Ozzie and know all the information about him being in a relationship with Fizz?? Oh right because we needed the plot to happen somehow. Still, even if Crimson did know that Ozzie was the "weakest" and loved Fizz, (which….what about Beezlebub?)) he still should have known he was playing with fire. I get that he's supposed to be evil and intimidating but how could he have predicted that Ozzie would actually stand down and fill out the paperwork? He could have immediately came there and killed Crimson for all he knew. It's just distracting how..not planned this shit was.

- Fuck this episode for calling Striker a supremacist. It makes no sense?? Viv is trying SO hard to villainize him despite him being the one in the right and it pisses me off. He has every right to be mad at the upper class, he’s part of the lower class that we’re said Hell takes advantage of, but god forbid we call out Rich and powerful Stolas because that would mean he’s a b-bad person and we can’t have that complex morality! This is so not a “eat the rich” story and it shows bc Vivzie is rich as hell. Striker as a character deserves so much better man. Congrats writers, you had an interesting character and motive set up for him, now he’s nothing but a silly goon that you might as well kill off already cause you clearly don’t care about him. Crimson meanwhile is just a piece of paper, a boring plot device I could give less of a shit about. I thought his motive was to go after Moxxie, now he’s just doing fuck whatever because this show desperately wants a bad guy for their filler fanfic plots.

- We get more world building issues, Ozzie and Fizz are so determined to hide their relationship for obvious reasons, but then at the end of the episode just say “fuck it, no one would dare tell anyway”. So now they’re being open about their relationship and lmao I told y’all the newspaper scene of Ozzie being called out for being a hypocrite wouldn’t go anywhere. Even if Ozzie did threaten his workers to not tell, they can’t be so sure that someone wouldn’t see or snitch, it’s kinda a retcon too cause they were pretty lovey dovey in Ozzie’s. Still, it makes the characters look dumb and it makes the rules Viv set up for Hell once again not mean anything.

- We finally get to see Fizz’s backstory in action and it’s executed in the most underwhelming way possible. It’s literally a fucking 10 second clip of what went down, and rather than experiencing the event for ourselves, it’s in flashback mode but with Fizz’s voice talking over it. That’s it. I’ve seen fan comics/fanart that built this shit up better than Viv did, that actually took the slow time and dedication it needed, and here it feels like such an afterthought, like Viv could care less. Maybe if this actually was a character driven show like Viv claims, Stolas, Striker, and Crimson would be taken out of the picture and then that would leave us with PLENTY time to actually explore and develop Blitz/Fizz, bc most of this episode is just them pettily bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around. But nah, we gatta have our fanfic kidnapping plot. Same goes for the reveal of Blitzo’s mom dying in the same fire. Glad to know that she got the same treatment Moxxie’s mom did, where we don’t even know her and yet we’re supposed to feel moved and care about her death. You nailed that one Viv. 👍

- I predicted that this episode would victimize Blitz and have the fire incident be an accident, (because Viv is a pussy writer and can’t make her characters actually do bad things like god forbid) but I never thought they’d actually have the balls to have Fizz forgive Blitz immediately in the same episode and pull the “actually turns out that horrible thing you did to me helped me in a way”- trope. Biggest flaw of the episode, fuck you Viv. I was actually going to applaud Blitz for taking accountability, but then the dialogue reminds you that an abuser wrote this, and he shifts his apology to “okay but I lost something too see so it’s not all about you” as if he’s fucking dismissing Fizz’s trauma and making it about himself. “I love flawed characters” my fucking ass. I would have smacked a bitch if I was Fizz because Blitzo loosing his mother in the fire too isn’t an excuse?? Fizz lost his fucking ARMS AND LEGS, and at the end of the day Blitzo STILL KNEW HE WAS HELPLESS IN THE FIRE BUT LEFT HIM BEHIND. He could have gotten help and came back, but didn’t. If this were a good show Fizz would have threw that apology back in Blitzo’s face and said “I don’t care if it was an accident or not, you still left me there and then proceeded to loathe me for years”. This is why Helluva will never be Bojack cause at least characters in that show who got treated horribly by him knew when to say “no, fuck you.”

- The episode retcons again, this time they make it out to be that Blitz TRIED contacting Fizz the years they were apart but no one would let him see him. Then they say that Fizz actually WANTED to see Blitz but assumed he didn’t want to, so their entire feud was solely because of miscommunication?? Number one, show don’t fucking tell omg. And number two, that makes ZERO sense. Blitz talked badly about Fizz in Loo Loo Land, and when they finally reunited in Ozzie’s, it was clear they fucking loathed each other. You got the impression that Blitz was petty and jealous just because Fizz was more popular, and Fizz not only loathed him for the accident, but liked to rub in his face about how much of a big shot he was. They literally do that in this episode too, so the episode is literally contradicting itself. Blitz and Fizz had multiple chances to meet up with each other, you can’t just say “oh they couldn’t because no one would let them”- So which is it? Did they hate each other because of bad blood, petty drama, or that they thought the other didn’t want to see them? Pick ONE Viv and stick to it, but she never does. Their feud was interesting and now you ruined it just to have some sweet happy ending. “Adult mature show” my ass lol.

-Bottom line is Fizz shouldn’t have forgave Blitz so easily, or forgave him period. I find it funny how he says “it’s hard to just forgive you” and then he literally does lol. I feel so bad for Fizz fans, him and Blitz’s feud was honestly interesting, so to see all of this go down in a half-assed piss poor way as if this was Care Bears is….wow. The fan interpretations had more thought and care put into this storyline but what else is new lol.

- I’m really tired of these shitty annoying songs. If you’re going to get Broadway actors, please put effort into your songwriting and actually have them sing something good, not something that’s literally nonsense. This Fizz song sounds like it took less than a minute to write and Sam Haft was just thinking of anything he could think of at the top of his head. Also Why the fuck are Striker and Crimson just STANDING there while Fizz sings. They look like idiots, just SHOOT them omg. If this were a funny show, Fizz would have started his first note and Crimson just rolls his eyes and pulls his gun out.

- Fizz and Ozzie kill the lawyer but not…Crimson? Despite Fizz knowing what ring he’s in and even Ozzie knowing what he looks like? Same for Blitz, he doesn’t try to make sure Striker is dead. I get that the plot demands for these two to still be around, but there’s a way to keep them alive without making the main characters look like fucking idiots. Also Stolas just leaves without doing or contributing anything to the plot yay.

- Fizz: “Let him have it, you could say he’s earned it”— Uhm….Nope. Blitz did NOT earn shit. He didn’t even earn Fizz’s forgiveness. Last time I checked, the moment Blitz cried and said it was an accident, Fizz forgave him, knowing he didn’t mean it. What effort did Blitz do to “earn” that as well as the crystal? Because he saved Fizz and didn’t leave him behind for the SECOND time near the end?? Cause if so than the bar is extremely low. That’s the bare minimum, just because Blitz cried and felt bad about it doesn’t mean he should be let off the hook Viv. I hate this so much, what a shitty conclusion, it feels forced just so Blitz can have the crystal and just so the writers can once again paint him as the one in the right. It’s almost insulting that they make it seem like Fizz was in the wrong for assuming Blitz starting the fire too, same for Barbie.

God what a shitty day it is to be a Fizz fan, I’m sorry. The episode did NOT do him justice. Fizzarolli deserved better than that half assed gaslighting apology for someone who lost their arms and legs man, and I’m tired of the show letting every character suck up to Blitz and Stolas for their horrible treatment just because they feel bad. Not only that but the episode (as most recent HB episodes) was a huge time waster. Everyone was really hoping for an in depth walkthrough of his character/backstory but again, when he’s not with Ozzie, the rest/most of his screen time is dedicated to him being helpless and pointlessly arguing with Blitz, plus a long dragged out nonsense song that didn’t need to happen. It felt like SO much time was wasted when we could have used the runtime we have to dive deeper and see more, like….again it would have been nice to see Fizz’s life AFTER the accident and how he became well known as well as how he fell in love with Ozzie, but his backstory is briefly scratched upon in a single scene and that’s it, all because Viv wanted this filler plot and wanted to dedicate more time to THAT rather than actual character expansion/development, something we could have got had you took out Stolas and Ozzie’s B plot and Striker and Crimson.

Viv is so on her way to murder/ruin every character that isn’t Blitz and Stolas and I won’t be here to watch further. I’ll check out the Mammon music video thing but that’s it man, this show is going off the rails, Adding Fizz to the character adoption list!

[carto0ncritter]

Abusive fictional fathers - Robotnik vs. Stolas

I won't be talking about Coconuts here since he's not on screen that much, but know that I feel sorry for the stuff he's been through, poor guy

Robotnik ⮕ Scratch & Grounder

Like... he literally only created these two to use and abuse them and that's crystal clear

When I say Robotnik is an abusive pos, this is what I mean (and this is just some of the physical abuse, don't even get me started on the emotional):

...Okay, that last picture was the last straw. Robotnik's thrist for power has officially outweighted Scratch and Grounder's "value." He felt 0 remorse for throwing them into the lava. Keep in mind, he THOUGHT HE HAD KILLED THEM and DIDN'T CARE AT ALL. Thankfully they were fine. And no the fact that they're robots doesn't make it any less wrong

If you're willing to sacrifice your children for a powerful artefact, then I'm (NOT) sorry to say this, but you're a heartless pos and deserve to be held accountable for your actions. If I were in Scratch and Grounder's shoes, I would have ran the hell away right then and there and found home elsewhere

However, unlike with Stolas and Octavia, at least the narrative doesn't try to convince us that Robotnik loves his sons. Because if he did, he would have tried to change his behavior. Or better, he wouldn't have abused them IN THE FIRST PLACE! AT ALL! No matter what he had gone through! I'm not denying that his mom was a pos to him just like he's a pos to scratch and grounder, but i refuse to see this as an excuse. he should have tried his best to break the cycle of abuse

*sigh* Now I've gotta talk about that stupid bird man... let's just get this over with.

Stolas ⮕ Octavia

Stolas is shown to have been there for Via in her childhood. although we never see them bond over anything, connect emotionally with each other or spend quality time together, we've only got this one nightmare scene. this was the only time stolas was shown to care about octavia

He did his best to calm her down and make her feel safe, then proceeded to break his promise for a booty call. For a childhood "friend" that his father bought for him 25 years ago.

And you're telling me how Stolas didn't realize that bringing Blitzø along in Loo Loo Land is uh... a bad idea that will make his daughter feel even worse?

I HATE the excuse that Stolas was "just clueless." Because anyone with the tiniest bit of common sense would come to the same conclusion: flirting with your booty call in front of your daughter who is a minor and going through emotional hell that happened because you cheated on her mother makes you a horrible and selfish father.

Even worse is that Stolas doesn't learn his lesson and once again neglects Octavia. Stolas is too busy hating his ex wife and gushing over his abuse victim that he can't even be bothered to look for his daughter himself, and instead Loona has to be the one to go find her. And then she literally tells Via how her dad's trying his best and how she should cut him some slack. No. No she shouldn't. Octavia was right to think that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her because that's what his actions show.

He can hug her all he wants and promise to do better but he has done nothing to even TRY to be better for this poor girl.

Not to mention that Loona is a hypocrite. Blitzø has always been doing his best to be a good dad to her, and she thanks him for saving her life by being a complete bitch. It's been five. Fucking. Years. Of unconditional love and support from Blitzø's side. And what does he get in return? A kick in the balls. Blitzø also got beat up by her and hit with the "if I'm so terrible why don't you replace me" after he rightfully called her out and you're trying to tell me Blitzø was the one in the wrong and how this isn't abusive huh ok then whatever ya say

I won't talk about the upcoming episode much. I honestly just don't have the strength anymore. But to make it as short as possible, Stolas is gonna be treated like an uwu poor sad gay boi and once again choose Blitzø, the guy he r*ped, over his own child.

If you check out the leaked story boards for s2 ep12, you'll see how disgusting it is that Via is spitting nothing but facts and yet she'll be demonized by the writers, Stolas lovers and Stolitz shippers. Just...

Please stop lying, dude. Just stop. You shattered her entire life and neglected her for a guy you abused and never got to know on a level that's deeper than sex. No wonder Via thinks he doesn’t love her anymore. The line above gives me the same vibe as THIS line also they made Stolas not only ACT like a guy who victimizes himself but LOOK that way too

STOP LYING. JUST SHUT UP.

I hate this self-pitying hypocrite sm.

And yeah, I get it: he was put in an arranged marriage (this was clearly a retcon, but whatever floats viv's boat) despite being gay and was sheltered and never had friends, but those are explanations for his behavior, not excuses.

Oh and, to anyone who thinks otherwise: Emotional neglect is a form of abuse.

Closing Thoughts

One important thing that I noticed with both Scratch and Grounder and Octavia, is how none of them feel at home with their fathers. A reliable way to know whether you've failed as a parent or not is to see how your behavior affects your kid(s). How does your behavior make them feel?

Let's see here... *checks notes*

Octavia says how Stolas ruined their family, not Stella and in ep12 she's finally gonna call him out on his bullshit thank god. but unfortunately the toxic gay ship will once again be a priority because it's gay

Scratch and Grounder are terrified of Robotnik's wrath, he constantly makes them feel useless and unwanted, but at the same time, they have no problem betraying him both of them always come back to him, just like how Blitzø doesn't leave his abuser because he wants to feel "loved" and "needed" for once even though Stolas treats him like shit

So yeah, if you made your kid(s) feel this way, you've officially failed as a father.

[tldrthor]

Part II: The Princess (and the chaos she brings with her) - steve rogers x princess!reader

summary: the princess gets to grips with life in the avengers tower, the captain does his best to not allow his feelings to get in the way of acting normal. everything is nice... but for how long?

part 2 // it was an honour and a privilege, for his words to reach only her ear // word count 2k

you can find part one here and here's my masterlist <3

a/n: nothing much happens in this one but i needed to set the scene! hope you enjoy this short and fluffy fic x

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Steve felt a kind of giddiness he had never felt before. It was almost nauseating; somewhere between the greatest euphoria and the deepest of depressions. He felt himself unable to bring words to his lips, when Bucky knocked on his room door to ask him how he was holding up.

“This is fucking crazy, man.” Bucky had breathed out. It seemed the same cat had got his tongue.

Steve had breathed out a half-laugh. “Yeah, it’s definitely crazy.”

He felt delirious. Dizzy with every emotion he had ever, and will ever feel. He found himself staring at the clock as time ticked by, agonisingly slowly. He fought against every instinct he had to run to her, make sure she never left his sight again.

It had been nearly 80 years since they had last seen each other. What if she had moved on? What if he was too different for her now? What if she was different?

As they had talked, it felt the same. But the talk they had had wasn't quite enough for the captain. He fought against every instinct he had to charge into her room and demand answers to the thousand questions running through his head.

His best bet would be going for a run, clear his head, work off some energy. It was a nice day outside, and a weekend so most of the agents and personnel were off-base. He shrugged on some gym clothes and headed out. He found himself lingering, as he walked past her door, trying to fend off thoughts of charging in and blurting his deepest thoughts to her.

The sound of... struggling? He could hear her, with ragged breath and the sound of what he thought was someone bumping into furniture. His eyebrows furrowed as he went into avenger mode.

"Princess?" He knocked quickly on the door, listening as he did for further sounds. As he knocked, the noises stopped. It was only through his supersoldier hearing that he could still hear her ragged breaths.

A small, breathless voice came from behind the door. "I'm okay, I'm alright!"

The captain wasn't entirely sure what to do. "Do you need help with anything?"

There was silence for a moment. And then, the lock on the door turned and she stood, once more, in front of him. Now, she was more flushed, and her hair had fallen ever so slightly out of place. The captain still thought she was the most radiant being he had ever seen.

"I... I am sorry to ask, captain. I am so used to having handmaidens that I can't get my armour off by myself." She looked away as she said it, and Steve cursed himself as a blush spread it's way over his cheeks.

"I'll help!" He said, perhaps a little too much enthusiasm behind his words. He immediately pulled it back, "or I could get Natasha, if you want."

The princess smiled at him. "It's okay, I wouldn't want to bother Miss Romanoff, if you don't mind helping?" She held the door for him and he entered her chambers. If she had been on Alfheim, or Asgard for that matter, this would have caused great scandal. For a brief moment, regardless of the circumstances, she was grateful to be back on Midgard.

She lifted her arms to show him how the chestplate connected around her torso, and he began to undo the intricate mechanism stitching it together. They were both hyper-aware of their closeness in that moment, each fighting not to think about it too much.

"It's beautiful." Steve tried to cut the silence, but his voice came out as more of a whisper. "Your armour, I mean. The carvings." He cleared his throat.

She made eye contact with him, and he nearly audibly gulped. "Thank you." As the mechanisms finally gave way, she pulled the piece over her head, holding it in front of her. "It belonged to my grandmother, the last Queen of Alfheim. They say even the stars themselves bowed to her."

Steve didn't miss the sadness layered in her voice.

"I never knew anything about your family before. It's crazy that they're kings and queens." Steve confessed.

She placed a hand, lightly on his arm. She couldn't think of what to say in response to that, but the gesture was enough. She hung the armour in the wardrobe, then began to take off her jewelry starting with her jeweled tiara. As she pulled it from her hair, he audibly gasped.

With the way her tresses fell, and covered her ears, it was like the princess disappeared and was replaced with (y/n). His (y/n). The one he ejected from the plane to save, all those years ago. The one he had mourned since he came out of the ice.

She turned to him, smiling. "You look the same, you know." She continued, "As when we last saw each other."

Steve caught a glimpse of himself in her mirror. He didn't feel the same as back then. He had been so full of hope, so naïve. The modern world made it hard to be optimistic.

"I'm older, now. You haven't aged a day." He responded.

She chuckled. "Steven, you are the same boy who jumped on the grenade at Camp Lehigh, it doesn't matter how you've aged." The kindness of her words as she said his name moved him in a way that no one had in a long time. "My people age far slower than Midgardians, so physically aging is an honour. I hope that one day, I experience the blessings of the years."

"What... what age are you?"

"Are you quite certain you want to know?" She asked, a hint of a smirk on her lips. When he nodded after a moment's hesitation, she continued; "I am 578 years old."

His jaw nearly hit the floor in shock. He looked at her features intently, his mind clawing desperately for anything to say. She didn't look a day over 25, and hadn't since the 40's.

"That's... um, pretty old." He stuttered out. Well, that was not what he had meant to say.

Her melodic laugh reached his ears and he had to admit, he breathed out a sigh of relief. "Captain, that is not a very becoming thing to say to a lady," She giggled. "I am barely a quarter of the way through my life span."

"God, sorry I didn't mean it like that, just... It's all so strange."

"I know, Captain. It is a long time in comparisons to a Midgardians life. I hope that it does not disturb you too much."

In the silence of the room, Steve suddenly became aware of the distance between them, or rather, the lack thereof. She was so close he could almost feel her breath on her face, as her eyelashes fluttered, looking up at him.

Her irresistible eyes.

He could reach out and grab her, right now. It would be easy, romantic, passionate, wonderful. He wanted to do it, badly. To feel his hands on her waist, to wrap her in his arms. He wondered, briefly, if she would tangle her hands in his hair.

In the real world, he couldn't do it. They had been apart for nearly a century, and even when they knew each other, they hadn't gotten that far. He didn't know if she still... felt that way.

His head was spinning, everything seemed to be moving too quickly and too slowly at the same time. Mayday, mayday, mayday.

He cleared his throat and moved away. Well, it was more of a jump. So much for looking normal, he thought to himself.

"We should go for dinner, uh... people will be waiting." He examined her features. She smiled politely, but her eyes betrayed something else. Was that... disappointment he detected? He was probably wishful thinking.

"Of course, Captain. I will get changed into the clothes Natasha brought for me, and then we shall go." She elegantly picked up some clothes, and wandered to the bathroom.

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Dinner was lively as ever. At Thor's request, everyone had joined the team in the dining room for some pizza. Steve and the Princess wandered in later than everybody else, but were welcomed with cheers and laughter. It was nice.

"Princess (y/n)!" Thor boomed, motioning his friends over to two empty seats beside him. "I believe you have met everyone bar the young master Parker, over here." He pointed towards a young brunet boy, sitting rather awkwardly at the corner of the large table.

He waved, whispering a barely audible "Hi."

"Hello, Master Parker. I am (y/n) of Alfheim."

"Yeah, I heard, um. It's Peter, not Master Parker. My name I mean. If you want to- if it's your tradition or whatever you can call me that too I just... um, most of the uh avengers call me Peter, I mean." He placed a hand over his face in what even the princess understood was teen angst.

"Peter, then." She smiled politely at the young, flailing boy.

"I call him bugboy, if that's any more appeasing to you." A familiar voice parted through the din of the many, many conversations being had around the table. The princess looked to see Bucky sitting across from them, next to the man called Sam.

She laughed politely, at his joke, understanding immediately that the young avenger certainly experienced a lot of jokes at his expense.

Her attention was diverted, once again, by Mr. Stark. "Have you ever had the Midgardian delicacy of pizza, your highness?" There was a hint of sarcasm to his deference, that was not unnoticed by (y/n).

"Tony, she lived in Brooklyn in the 40s. Of course she's had pizza." Steve spoke up for her, also noticing the way Tony laced disquiet with her titles. He was being overprotective over pizza, and even though he was aware of the fact, he couldn't stop himself.

"Actually, Captain, I never got around to trying it during my time here."

A silence befell the dining room.

"What?" The harsh words came from Bucky, but it was a sentiment echoed quickly by Cap, and then young Peter.

"How could you have lived in New York for several years, and not had pizza?" Steve laughed at the Princess, who sheepishly smiled.

"I honestly did not realise it was a food, and I lived mostly on army rations anyway..." She explained.

"Oh my god, she's never lived." Sam spoke, dead-pan.

Tony finally interrupted the cacophony. "Well then, ma'am, consider this evening an education."

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The evening was lovely. The conversation (and wine) flowed, never a dull moment. Thor and the Princess dazzled with tales of their worlds and the many battles they had faced. Steve and Bucky reminisced with the Princess about the times they had shared together.

As the evening grew quieter, the Princess found herself feeling safe, for the first time in a while. She was all too aware of Cap's arm slung over the back of her chair, dangerously close to being around her shoulders. Her heart skipped a beat every time he leant down to her ear, to share something only with her. It was an honour and a privilege, for his words to reach only her ear.

For the last 80 years, she had felt like she was spinning out of control. With the war, and especially the last attack, things had been worse than ever. But now, she could get used to this.

She dared, as she laughed at one of Tony's jokes, to put her head on the Captain's shoulder. As she did, she happened to catch Bucky's eye - he smiled and winked.

Yeah, she could definitely get used to this.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't get the chance to.

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== TAGLIST ==

@vicmc624 @jvdgement @capswife @megluv1 @moviegurl2002 @aliciaasky @yiiiikesmish

i tagged everyone who said they wanted part 2, but let me know if you want to be removed from the taglist at any point! thanks so much for your support on the first part x

[dilys-min]

Aeipathy

Pairing: Yan!Chrollo Lucifer x Reader

Warnings: Yandere, Unhealthy relationship, Obsession, etc.

Word count: 2500+ words

For many things, Chrollo has never regretted the path he had taken.

He himself, like a phantom, exists only on the verge of hushed rumors and whispers of others, if there was anyone lucky enough to be alive to tell the tale after an encounter with the Troupe. To be vulnerable means to be seen, and to be seen will allow you to be hunted. Maybe that’s why he had chosen such a befitting title for the Troupe for it is only common for a phantom to remain in the dark, committing atrocities without the knowing of others.

He had thought that the picture that he had meticulously painted since the time when his name is the only thing he owns, a picture in which he is the greatest villain, spreading terrors to those who dare to cross paths with him or the Troupe, would last until the end of time. Or so he had thought, until you came. 

 .

 .

 The weather during autumn always feels chilly in this city, not enough to be cold, but enough to leave a tingling sensation on your skin. A breeze blows past, causing the leaves from the nearby maple trees to fall and coating the road with different shades of orange and red in the process. As a child, you would excitedly scurry off to the nearest pile of maple leaves before jumping into one, claiming to be making an angel out of the leaves when your mother scolded you for dirtying your clothes. All while your father laughed at the oddly familiar scene. It is a perfect day to-

 “Excuse me, miss!”. Woken from your daydreaming, you turn around to see the owner of the voice. A charming young man dressed in a beige trench coat, coupled with a turtleneck. A distinguishing feature you notice from him is the bandana wrapping around his forehead. As you realize that you have been staring at him quite long enough to be considered rude, you try to make up a respond when he continues

“Sorry to disturb you from your thoughts. I have been trying to find a way to the gallery and it seems that I haven’t gotten any luck in that. Perhaps you could show me the way? If it isn’t such a hassle to you of course”

“N-no, not at all. It seems like we were heading to the same direction after all. I could just show you the way there, if you don’t mind”.

Luckily, the man seems to not mind as he nods and begins following you. On the way, you would make sure to occasionally turn around to check up on him (which is absolutely unnecessary since he could easily outrun you if he wanted to). When it is only a few blocks away from the exhibition, the man behind you suddenly speaks up

“No matter how much you look at it. Rembrandt’s works always a sight to behold, right?”

A warm voice erupts from behind, attempting to break the silence and likely to prompt you into a conversation. You turn around just to see him gesturing toward a page about the information on the artist of the brochure occupying your hand. Normally, your shyness would come out at the worst of times, usually stirring you away by a nod of the head or a simple reply, not to be rude in others’ eyes but enough to let them know your intention. Maybe he was trying to break the awkward atmosphere between the two of you, but somehow, there is something about him that makes thought of a short conversation doesn’t sound too bad, you even feel a bit giddy. You aren’t particularly cut out for art nor did you exceptionally good at guessing the subtle meaning behind each picture, but it does feel nice to have someone you could share your interest to, even for a short time. 

“Well, it always has been. However, I actually have a different interest in mind when I come here”

“Oh, and what is that? Do tell”. You swear if you turn your back at the right time you could see how his eyes glimmer with a hint of curiosity, how his smile seems to widen a little more.  

“To be honest, I am not an encyclopedia of arts or am I in a place to be judging others’ works. But, truthfully, I have found myself more attracted to a work of John Everett Millias- "The Blind Girl”. You say sheepishly as heat slowly rises to your cheeks.

“There is no need to be shy about that. Must I say, you have quite an exquisite taste. Usually, when it comes to arts, people tend to associate with more universal names like Rembrandt or Salvador. So, it is quite refreshing to see someone who’s also on the same page as me”. His eyes crinkles as he goes on. 

You don’t know what spurs you on at that moment, maybe it’s the calming, unjudging demeanor of the stranger before you or maybe it’s the enthusiasm when someone shares the same interest with you. Either way, you have unconsciously found yourself strolling right next to him rather than marching forward.

“Yeah! People tend to be misguided when first looking into it. The painting seems to depict a normal couple of sisters enjoying the vibrant nature around them. Rather, it’s actually an allegory of the contrast between the blinded and the sighted. You can see that the younger girl shields away from the sun while her sister relishs in it, holding herself at a complete standstill just to enjoy the beauty of what surrounds her. If you take a closer look into-”

You quickly stop when it dawns on you what you are doing.

“Ah… Sorry if that was too much; I t-tend to get carried away when it comes to things like this-”

Great! You’ve done it again, you’ve probably scared off the poor man. It’s almost like a routine for you by now. You would meet someone and; you would proceed to overshare your hyperfixation on things to the said person and then; they would be weirded out and leave. At the end, you only have yourself to blame before going on and making the same mistake all over again. You just hope that there is a hole nearby so you could jump down and possibly live there for the rest of your life, maybe change your name in the process. But, you know that’s not gonna be the case and if you’re lucky, maybe he will at least be polite enough to continue to accompa-

“Please, don’t concern yourself over trivial matters. If anything, you are undermining yourself, dear.”

The endearment just rolled off his tongue with ease, like he was addressing a friend rather than a stranger. It’s a wonder how one’s mental state could drastically change in one single moment. Suddenly, the weather feels incredibly stifling despite it being mid-autumn; Has your cheeks always been this warm?

As though bemused by your stammering, he goes on

“Even so, what further entices me is why you happen to be so fascinated by the painting. Would you view it in the same light again, knowing that might be a pure act of compassion toward the fate of the two sisters?”

A soft smile appears on your face, taking away the place where a frown once resided. Instead of being offended, you find yourself unusually relaxed around him

“Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Honestly, I don’t know either.” A breathless laugh left your mouth and at the corner of your eyes, you could see his brows are burrowed, likely confused at your answer. 

“Be it a doing of my sympathy or just a passing interest. When I look at the painting, it feels like my mind, which has always been  at an impasse, could progress toward something now.” You pause for a moment before going on

“While it is good to have common ground, but not because of which should you confine yourself to what others view. Anyways, I could never find myself getting bored of this.”

A heartfelt laugh erupts besides you, rich in the sincerity that catches you off guard. You turn your head and something ridiculous passes your mind in that moment.

 It feels as if the young man before you was a child whose smile is just as carefree as he is

The thought doesn’t stay in your mind for long as the outline of your destination begins to appear, prompting the end of your time together. This time, you don’t even bother to hide the disappointment lying behind your voice.

“ Oh… it seems like we’re here. Well, I hope that you enjoy your visit here. It was nice talking to you.”

The man extends his hand to you before speaking up

“While I am here with the intention to visit this exhibition alone, it appears that I might not completely have a grasp around here. So, would my current tour guide be interested in accompanying me for a while longer?”

There is a nagging feeling at the back of your mind. You should be more careful but you don’t care. The offer stands as tempting as that of a siren calling out for any sailors unfortunate enough to cross and for once, you want to feel what it like to have your head submerged in water, to reach out for more while you drown in the sweet voice of the monstrous being. 

You reach out, placing your hand in his. His hand is calloused, a contrast to his immaculate face. He gives your hand a few tender squeezes, your hand fits perfectly in his.

“Well, if you are willing to hear a whole ramble on paintings, then that is. But before that, can you tell me your name? It would be weird to not know your name, considering all the time we spent together.” 

The name spilled out from his name rings like a bell in your head. But whether it is for a blessing or a bad omen remains a mystery to you.

“Chrollo-”

“Chrollo Lucilfer”

.

.

Chrollo has never been one for closer connections, maybe the closest he has ever been to anyone was when he was younger, when the hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow were still beating in his chest. But even the foolest would know that innocence equals vulnerability in Meteor City, a deadly one at least. What started at a normal interaction- where you help him and he will be on his merry way- quickly spiraled into something more. Even Shizuku noticed his shift in demeanor. It’s quite reasonable when it’s not a common occurance to see the head of the infamous Phantom Troupe- a ruthless criminal who is nothing but a nightmare, the devil’s incarnate in the tales of even the cruelest criminals, to be head over heels towards a normal civilian. He has traveled far and wide and yet, he rarely lingers on for long. Nonetheless, the mere thought of someone other than him might come across you, soaking in the warmth and vibrancy you have to offer like a sponge irks him greatly. The possessive nature of a thief runs deep in his blood. A credo through which he has devotedly followed, ingrained on every single molecule that forms his very essence. If he wants something then he steals it. Anything that falls under his possessions are meant to be admired from a distance not to be leered at, and not he himself could make an exception for you. While Chrollo is no halfwitted to not realize that letting you as you be there would always be someone, far better than him, to come in and swoop you up your feet when he has to part for one of his ‘ business trip’ , he is not cruel enough to strip away your freedom, at least not for now. He would like for you to remain your individuality for a while longer and captivity could do so much to one’s mental state. While it is just an inevitable bump of your relationship, it is not one that could be easily smoothed over with kisses and comforts. 

Chrollo is not a sentimental person, but he would go as far as to say he has become quite fond of the gesture where couples would wear matching items. It gives a profound message that you are off limits, lest anyone who are dense enough, well, they could try. His gestures are subtle, but not obscure, a keen eye will be able to spot one or two, which usually under the form of the choker wrapping around your neck or the form-fitting black dress that seems to suit his taste more than yours. He wonders how much he can imprint on you, how much he can steal before you notice or would you ever be aware of his tendency at all. Give him an inch and he would take a mile, once you give your heart to him, you could never expect to receive it back without giving up a few parts of you to him. 

 Throughout his journey, Chrollo has his fair share of experiences with others, through which he has learned how to gouge out the worst in people. Humans are just a combination of different components linked together and each requiring a unique blueprint. Treading the water carefully, using the right combination of words and as though every part is laid bare before him. While Chrollo uses this ability to see the worst in order, you, on the other hand, use it to see the best, to put back the mangle parts of the said people he always inclined to break. Despite your timid nature, you seem to hold more than you view, for better or worse. In a way, he would go as far to say you and him are so alike in many ways, and yet, so acutely different at the same time.

Nostalgic is an unfamiliar term as well as a foreign experience to him. What’s there to long for when there is already nothing to begin with? And normalcy is impossible for him, with the fall of his friends, the blood on his hand; with everything that he has gone through, Chrollo knows there will never be a day when he is able to rest. Domesticity is a privilege you made possible for him with what you have got. And for that, it will be your downfall. His past experiences have taught him to cling as tightly as possible to what dear to him. So even if you end up with a few scratches and bruises, if his hand ends up bloody in the process, nothing won’t be resolved with consolations, which will serve as your comfort and your eternal sentence. 

So, even if the path he has chosen is one leading straight to hell then so be it. He will gladly drag you down with him, even if it means the gate to your eden will be shut forever.

[terukotime]

thinking about Ace and Eden again and how i really don't want either of them to be the culprit lol. i just feel like either one being the blackened would be a waste of their potential. i know in Danganronpa that's bound to happen with some characters, but Ace and Eden both have traits and arcs that could run through the whole series, or at the very least, to the next chapter. while a big part of any killing game story is losing characters quickly and having their arcs and growth cut short (we've already seen as much with Arei, rest in peace queen), Eden and Ace have a lot of prominence in the Trust vs. Distrust theme of drdt, on either side respectively. and they both have a lot of potential for their views to change. i can totally see Eden's optimism finally starting to crack, and she begins to lose hope in trusting others and thinking they're good-intentioned, especially since she was put in virtually the same place that Teruko was in in the last trial, with everyone distrusting her and thinking she's the culprit. though Ace hasn't had much of a catalyst to alter his beliefs yet, there's still hope for his views to change. he's a lot like how Teruko began to behave after the first trial, thinking he can't trust or rely on anybody and pushing everyone away as much as possible.

[giant-ass analysis under the cut. i didn't expect myself to go on such a huge rant, but i realized i have quite a lot of thoughts on the matter lmao. there are probably a lot of hot takes in here and i know there will be people who won't agree with me, so take this all with a grain of salt, pls & thx]

while Ace's role in the trials is mostly confined to causing conflict and being a comedic relief, he's expressed being committed to investigating the scene of Arei's death. while sure, if Ace is the culprit, his desire to investigate could very well be a ruse. but for the sake of his potential, it'd be far more interesting if him being innocent results in him going on to investigate more thoroughly and contribute substantially to the trials. Arei did have potential for a full redemption arc, but her death doesn't feel narratively unfulfilled. its tragedy not only allows the audience to further sympathize with Arei and see just how nuanced she was, but it's also meaningful to the members of the cast, and will serve as a point of motivation for them, whether that be to maintain hope in escaping or giving into despair.

at least, that's how it's set up to be. i feel that if either Eden or Ace are the culprit, Arei's death loses a good deal of its weight and meaning. especially if the culprit is Eden; even if she had "well-intentioned" motivations for killing her (as well-intentioned as murder motivations can be, anyway), Arei's breakdown, desire to change, and tragically short path to redemption is rendered pointless. her want to be a good person will have affected virtually no one. her death will have only held significance to David, as most of the cast didn't care for Arei or hated her, much like Ace.

while Culprit Ace won't render Arei's death *as* meaningless as Culprit Eden, it sure would make Ace's own death feel pretty meaningless. he'd be dying in a trial where he fully believes everyone is cruel, everyone hates him, and no one cares about him at all. his shift in his belief can't really be considered much of an arc or even a regression; he just descends further into his hatred and paranoia until he dies doing exactly what the killing game expects of him. Ace, a character who has prioritized his self-preservation all throughout the series, will have thrown that away for...what? revenge against Nico? would he really place his hatred for them over his fear and will to live? Ace is impulsive and narrow-minded, but he's not without *some* sense. if Ace were to be the culprit of this chapter, what would he have contributed to the story? what would his existence have meant? what would he have provided that the story can't progress without? he'd have zero growth, zero stakes, and zero relevance to the ongoing plot, aside from unrevealed backstory (most of which will likely go unsaid in the main story if he were to die now). do i think Ace is going to play a significant role in the overarching story? no. not as much as characters like Xander and David, anyway. but he still has so much to offer as either a survivor or later victim/culprit, as we'll have spent more time with him, gotten a better understanding of him, and possibly be able to sympathize with him, like we do with Arei.

and here's another thing i've been thinking about, too: all the deceased so far have a point of significance to the story. Xander has a connection to the larger-scale mystery surrounding the killing game and a complex relationship with David. he continues to be relevant in the story even after his death and will likely always be.

Min is not only a cautionary tale to the rest of the cast, but her story follows a very cohesive path:

she's a girl committed to her academics and has been led to believe it's the only thing about her that matters ->

while not a social butterfly, she still enjoys spending time with others and making the most of the situation she's in ->

she forms a bond with Teruko, someone who has shown to value both her intelligence and her personality ->

she finds Teruko being murdered by Xander, and instead of being a bystander, she takes action to save her friend ->

she realizes that what she did has jeopardized her own life, a life that she does not center around herself. her family depends on her having a successful future, a future she has been groomed to achieve since she was little and has made several sacrifices for ->

though Teruko is her friend, Min prioritizes her self-preservation. there are too many things that are objectively more important to her than the life of a girl she's known for a couple days ->

still, she cannot shake her guilt and chooses to remain at Teruko's side throughout the investigation ->

she's desperate to maintain her lie, even if it means framing the friend she tried to save and getting everyone else killed. she fights and fights until she can no longer ->

she loses everything. her life, her future, the trust of her friends, the trust and bond she had with Teruko. Min always had good intentions. but even good-intentioned people can do terrible things.

Min's story throughout Chapter 1 alone is very digestible and easy to follow. even without knowing the greater contexts of her life, like her family's financial situation or her groomed future of being a Hope's Peak student, her motives and actions make complete sense. you don't come away from it feeling like she acted out of character or that her death was hasty or sloppily written. her death has a lot of meaning and impact on the other characters.

and that alone makes Culprit Eden or Culprit Ace unsatisfying. Culprit Eden would not only undermine Arei's death and potentially lead her into character derailment, it'd also just be Min's story regurgitated in a much less compelling manner. Teruko has already had her trust broken, and while it seems like she's slowly starting to see the value in relying on others again in the Chapter 2 trial, what good would Eden's death do for her? even if it causes Teruko to regress, what will change? wouldn't Teruko go back to being the way she was acting at the start of the chapter, undoing whatever growth was already beginning to happen? will she be unaffected by Eden's death, or at least act like it? will it somehow strengthen her desire to trust and rely on others again? (it won't.) Eden's role as the chapter 2 culprit really won't do much good for the story, regardless of what her reasons are. everything we've learned about Eden and Arei, both together and individually, will be irrelevant. the significance of Arei wanting to be Eden's friend unconditionally, something that we learn is so significant for her because of her secret, will turn out to actually be pointless because Eden will have killed the one person who expressed they'd be her friend her regardless of who she is.

Ace simply hasn't done enough in the story to establish his deeper character. with Xander, Min, and Arei, we already got glimpses into their core beliefs, their true selves, their moral standings. if those aspects of a character are only revealed after they're confirmed to be the culprit, then honestly...that's just bad writing. i don't like saying that, but i firmly believe it. not only do we hardly know anything about Ace's backstory, we just don't know a whole lot about him other than surface-level things the show outright tells us: he's fearful and paranoid, he doesn't like being a jockey, he's hotheaded and unsociable, he developed an eating disorder due to the strict requirements of his talent, he's hardly ever had any friends, he doesn't think anyone cares about him. and while a lot of inferences can be made from that information, it's still very speculative, and even a bonus episode after his execution wouldn't be able to cover enough of his backstory and personal life for it to feel justified narratively. you simply can't kill him off without letting us see another side of his character and have it better the story.

if either of them do, unfortunately, turn out to be the true culprit of the case...i will be very disappointed. i won't drop drdt or criticize drdtdev for their decisions, but i will still personally believe it to be a bad choice. nevertheless, it's not my story, and i will continue to support and enjoy the show regardless. i have a lot of faith in drdtdev's skills as a storyteller, but no story can be completely perfect. Ace or Eden being the true culprit won't destroy the show as a whole, and i'm not trying to imply that it's a fundamentally bad choice, i just think it'd be very difficult to pull off and have it feel natural, organic, and satisfying for the ongoing story. i will neither be optimistic nor pessimistic about what happens in the next coming episodes, i will simply wait and see. i just wanted to get all my thoughts out here, and hopefully i didn’t come across as aggressive or snobbish or anything. this is a free to watch series, after all, and i enjoy and appreciate all the hard work that has gone into it and made it possible.

[toxicpineapple]

writing tips masterpost

hello to my loyal tumblr followers... i am often asked to give writing advice but usually when people ask me this i'm nooooot completely sure what to say despite having a ton of advice to give. it's such a broad question when there are so many different things i can advise on, right? so i thought i'd make a sort of writing advice masterpost where i can compile the tips that i think people specifically in fandoms could benefit the most from hearing, OR that i wish someone had told me when i was still finding my footing as a writer.

hopefully this will be helpful to you. i am putting all of the advice under a read more since this is going to be a long one. let's roll!

✬ paragraph breaks are your friend

the fastest way to get me to stop reading a fic is if i click in and see that there are NO paragraphs made and the entire piece is in a huge block of text. no matter how good your work is, i just can't read it at that point. the giant paragraph makes me get lost, i can't focus on anything... it's a huge no.

the trick is you want your paragraphs to sort of act as a guide for your reader, taking them through the story, keeping them engaged. do not be afraid to do short paragraphs! i can understand wanting to shy away from one or two sentence paragraphs for fear of not having "enough substance" in your work, but the truth is, a thousand short paragraphs is ten times easier to read than a huge block of text.

realistically, you want to have a good amount of variety in your paragraph length. variety is key. readers will notice when your work gets formulaic, and some people will like that, but for others that can turn people away from your work. but don't force it! a paragraph should end at the end of a statement, or if the paragraph is getting too long then cut off the thought and continue in the next paragraph with a transitional phrase.

as a general rule of thumb, you want lines of dialogue by different speakers to be put in separate paragraphs. you also want to avoid doing huge chunks of narration or exposition in the same paragraph as you introduce a new speaker. just make a new paragraph! no big deal. i guarantee you your reader will be way more engaged and nobody is going to come at you for doing more rather than less.

✬ make sure the reader knows who is speaking and when

you don't have to end off every line of dialogue with "she said" and in fact i would really recommend you don't. but you ALWAYS need to have some kind of indication in the text as to who is speaking, otherwise the reader can get lost.

this doesn't necessarily mean that you always have to explicitly say who is saying what, though. if it is obvious in a scene who is saying something -- so for example, a scene where there are only two characters talking OR the dialogue has some kind of phrase, statement, etc that makes it obvious who the speaker is -- then in that case you can just let the dialogue speak for itself. sometimes in writing less can be more. you disrupt the flow of a scene if you start to exposit unnecessarily when the reader could reasonably work something out for themself.

✬ "said" is your friend too

related to the last piece of advice, here's another note: don't shy away from using the word "said".

don't overuse it, either. obviously, you don't want every single line to be "he says" "she says" back and forth, especially when they might be asking questions or shouting, in which case the word "said" probably isn't all that applicable at all. but it's a nice default. if you catch yourself busting out the thesaurus, my recommendation? quit it. just use said. it's not going to hurt you and the reader isn't going to mind.

but yeah, in the event that a character is raising their voice, whispering, inquiring -- there are tons of other words you can use in lieu of said and then an adverb. it's just context-dependent, and also, you don't really want to lean too far one way or another. like i said, variety is key. too much of the same breaks immersion.

✬ if you wouldn't say it yourself, probably don't use it in writing

another related tip. look, i get it. you want to spruce up your writing with synonyms. but the fact of the matter is that a lot of these words that "mean the same thing" on paper actually have wildly differing connotations and if you don't understand what those are you're going to look kind of silly whipping out a word you just found off the internet. we can usually tell, too.

your vocabulary will naturally grow and expand as you continue to read and learn. you don't have to try and force it to seem smarter in your writing. people who can write compelling prose and dialogue without throwing in fancy words they barely understand look a lot more intelligent than people who have a thesaurus at the ready 24/7.

✬ if there's a simpler way to say it, take it

this one can be sort of style-dependent, so if it's not your cup of tea then feel free to take or leave this tip, but in my opinion, taking a whole seven-line paragraph to describe a simple action wastes both your and the readers' time.

how many times have you read a fic where the main characters are having a conversation with these long rambling paragraphs between lines of dialogue? sometimes this makes sense! if you were writing a death note fic it would absolutely make sense for light or L to be pausing every few seconds to carefully analyse their opponent's move... but that's not always the case. sometimes characters are just making small talk.

i'm not saying you can't show off. you should show off where applicable. but there's a time and place. sometimes a scene benefits more from you taking the easy way to describe something and moving on. flowery language is great, but if you're meandering too much the reader will lose interest and attention.

✬ a metaphor is useless if nobody knows what it means

writing is subjective and highly personal. write for yourself first and foremost, and use the metaphors that feel right to you -- but the best metaphorical pieces, to me, are the ones that people can understand and identify with.

you've read a story like that, haven't you? with a reoccurring theme or motif that comes back into play at the end in a way that makes you feel so satisfied and complete? THAT'S what you aim for with literary devices like that. if you write a story that nobody can understand, with metaphors that just don't make any sense -- then you haven't really successfully told a good story, have you?

i understand wanting to have a magnum opus. i think it's easy to fall into the "misunderstood writer" mindset where you want your pieces to be so magnificent that only the likeminded will get it -- but writing is a form of communication. metaphor is just another means with which we can illustrate how we feel. you WANT your readers to understand what you're doing with the metaphors, you WANT the people who step away from your story to know what you were trying to say. you don't have to be obvious, just make it good. make it something that can be reasonably drawn from the text.

at the end of the day flowery language is just flowery language. that doesn't actually make your story good.

✬ grammar intermission

(.) period/full stop: used at the end of sentences. oftentimes not used at the end of sentences in dialogue, because lines of dialogue are considered a fragment of a larger sentence. use a period/full stop at the end of a line of dialogue if the dialogue is followed up by another complete sentence. example:

"i just went to the store," he said, scratching his head.

"i just went to the store." he scratched his head.

(,) comma: used in the middle or to separate different clauses (parts/sections) of sentences. used for incomplete clauses, AKA sections of the sentence that could not function as individual sentences. also used to indicate a slight pause. example:

she reached for the ripest banana, plucking it from the bunch.

a comma can also be replaced by a conjunction like "and" or "but". example:

she reached for the ripest banana and plucked it from the bunch.

(;) semi colon: used to separate different complete clauses in sentences, AKA sections of the sentence that are related but COULD function individually as their own sentences. example:

he sighed as he looked out the window; it had been so long since he stepped outside.

not to be confused with

(:) colon: used at the end of a line that leads into or introduces another line. example:

his fingers drummed restlessly against the window sill. it was finally happening: he was finally leaving this place.

(-) hyphen: used to connect compound words like three-years-old or hyphenated surnames like jones-smith.

(–) en dash: used to indicate ranges of time or distance, like 3–4 hours.

(—) em dash: a girl's best friend. slash j. but an em dash is used to indicate a few different things: an abrupt end to a thought or sentence, a "cut-in" where you interject something tangentially or unrelated before returning to the original thought, or a diversion in the sentence/thought. examples:

"no, listen, you don't understand—"

he scowled—an ugly look on his usually handsome features—and told her to be quiet.

it's not like she had wanted it to go that way—but when had it ever mattered what she wanted?

(()) parentheses: used to add additional context, information, or a semi-unrelated thought that would break the flow of an ongoing sentence without completely taking the reader out. example:

"no, i'm sorry. i just forgot to call you this morning," he said, looking away. (in truth, he'd sat by the phone for fifteen minutes trying to psyche himself into it, but hadn't been able to muster the courage.)

✬ show don't tell, and tell don't show

show don't tell is one of the classic pieces of writing advice that i do, often, think is correct -- but it's a little more nuanced than just never telling your readers what a character is thinking. you want the work to speak for itself without you implanting messages or themes into the reader's brain. at the same time though you don't want them to be doing too much work because it breaks immersion.

this ties into what i was saying above about simpler being better sometimes. you want to be concise especially in scenes that might call for it. a fight scene should be quick and snappy. no need to dig into the physical sensation of being enraged -- just say the character is pissed! but if a character is having a meltdown or panicking, you can get SO much more out of describing how that feels than just outright saying it.

✬ remember your perspective

another huge thing with show don't tell is that you don't want your character to be able to objectively say what everyone else is thinking and feeling -- unless that makes sense for them within the context of the story. really dig into it. DOES the character have a reason to know what their opponents, friends, etc are thinking? how well do they know the other characters? how attentive are they to the emotions of those around them?

it's better to focus on descriptions than labels in that case. say what face a character is making, describe their body language or tone. your character can have impressions, just make it clear that those ARE their impressions. and let your character be wrong! they do not have to be a completely objective source of information.

✬ when it comes to representation, if you aren't confident you can do it well, don't do it at all

i'm one of those people who's kind of of the opinion that white or cishet or otherwise systemically advantaged people have no place being the loudest voices in conversations about representation, least of all AS the representatives. if you are someone with systemic privilege and you choose to portray someone who is oppressed -- that's not necessarily a bad thing. but you need to be willing to do your research and have a sensitivity reader, and you have to be ready for people to say you did it wrong.

not much else to be said about that. your voice on the matter isn't actually all that important. there are people from the demographics involved who DO have stories to tell about themselves that will be MUCH more valuable than your perception of them, so it's honestly better to just let them tell it. that's how i feel.

✬ don't break the rules unless you know how to follow them. in other words, your rebellion should be obvious

a lot of times i see people breaking grammar or other rules and citing "stylistic" choices as their reasons why. which is all good and well, to an extent -- but you want it to be very clear that you ARE breaking the rules on purpose in a way that adds to the artistic merit of your piece.

if you don't know the rules, then it really just comes across like messy work. you both have to know how to apply the rules, and also how to break them in a stylistically significant way. if it doesn't make sense for the rules to be broken, if it says nothing... it's honestly better to just follow them. that's my take.

✬ don't be scared of names and pronouns

i said before that you want variety in your work, and that is very very true -- but it's also true that certain words like names, pronouns, etc will sort of blend into the background in writing. people don't notice them. that means if you're using a name or pronoun a lot in a scene to make it clear who exactly is being referred to...

hey. look into my eyes. breathe. it's okay. you do not have to resort to highlighting arbitrary characteristics of the characters. i know. just breathe. it's okay. use their names. they have them for a reason. it's all good.

this isn't to say that you SHOULDN'T do that, just do it when it makes sense to. if height is something the characters are noticing then use "the shorter boy". if age is relevant, eye colour, hair colour, whatever -- go ahead and use them. but don't be excessive with it. i should not be having to read the bluenette more than i'm reading shuichi's actual goddamn name.

✬ read

this is the huge one. reading other works informs your writing. it teaches you skills and tricks you can use. it helps expand your dialogue and your world view. it might even highlight to you things you do too much of in your own writing. read, all the time, whenever you can. it doesn't have to be books. it can be fanfic, articles, whatever -- just keep reading, because you will be passively absorbing knowledge during that time and it'll help you grow as a writer.

✬ practice

BOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO! SHE SAID THE THING SHE SAID IT!

but listen, it's literally just true. i write almost every day for at least a couple of hours and i have been on a trend of consistent growth for the past five years. go read my fics from 2019 if you don't believe me. i've grown fast and i've grown constantly. you just DO grow through constant practice, even if it doesn't always seem that way.

not only that, but you start to build confidence too. writing a lot helps develop those muscles to a point where you start to realise that you ARE that good and you DO have that dawg in you. or whatever. you just have to keep at it. you're not going to magically improve thinking for six months about how you want to be a better writer without practicing anything about it.

✬ yeah, betas are good

you want to have a good editor. i know that that can feel like having someone ELSE be the reason your piece is good, but that's genuinely not it. a beta reader is a second pair of eyes on your work, someone who can tell you about the issues and mistakes you're missing. they'll tell you when something doesn't make sense. they'll point out your punctuation errors. you don't NEED to have a good editor for every crummy little oneshot... but it's good to have one.

✬ numbers are fine and all but don't compare yourself to other people

i think almost everyone in some kind of creative pursuit wants to get some kind of acknowledgement for it. we want to be the best we can be, and it can be discouraging to receive utterly no validation along the way! i get it!!

just don't get caught up in crunching the numbers. you are not as good as your fanbase is. you alone know your skillset and you absolutely should not say "well this other writer got THIS much attention" because that'll just wear you down. it really will. external validation will only keep you going for so long, and you'll always end up needing more. you HAVE to build your own personal confidence first or you'll crash and burn.

✬ read your writing out loud

there is no quicker way to see if something is wonky in your prose than reading it out loud and seeing if it makes sense verbally. i highly recommend this to anybody who struggles with sentence flow. it's a good one.

✬ yippee hooray!

🥰 and that's what i've got for now. thank you if you made it this far, please take all these tips as you will, it is all subjective of course, these are just the tips that help Me the most when i sit down to write something.

please feel free to ask me for additional advice (on specific topics if you could!) at any time, i love encouraging new writers and i am passionate about writing so i will gladly offer support in any way i can, including beta reading works for anybody who might need that.

take care now 💖

[inaconstantstateofchange]

So, something that's emotionally devastated me upon reading SVSSS Volume 3 is this sequence of conversation between Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan after the collapse of Maigu Ridge:

From deep within Shen Qingqiu’s mind came the sound of something tearing. In that instant, all of Yue Qingyuan’s past ardent concern, his wordless protectiveness, all kinds of scenes, all manner of details, connected within his mind like a merry-go-round, clear beyond compare. No wonder no matter how “Shen Qingqiu” dug his own grave, the sect leader never made life difficult for him and instead remained infinitely forgiving, infinitely patient. No wonder the rescuer Shen Jiu had been waiting for never returned. Yue Qingyuan, Shen Qingqiu; Yue Qi, Shen Jiu. So that’s how it was! That’s how it was! “I really…didn’t mean to not return,” said Yue Qingyuan. “Only, it really is true that the world is pitiless, and so the two of us passed each other by…”

This is obviously tragic enough on its own, but the thing that makes it so much worse is the fact that it is a direct allusion to this sequence, taking place just a short time before, where the true shape of Su Xiyan and Tianlang Jun's doomed romance was drawn out:

“This one is an outsider, so he can know nothing of your heart. But what he does know and what he did see was Benefactor Su refusing to listen to the orders of the master who’d raised her for over a decade. Even when tormented in the Water Prison, she refused to say anything, refused to trick or harm you. If not as a last resort, what mother in this world would drink that kind of poison? “It wasn’t that she didn’t care about you, but that she was without alternative. Yet the world is pitiless, and so you passed each other by…” “Tianlang-Jun’s lips seemed to tremble slightly. A long moment passed. Then he said, “Is that so?” Right after those three words, he asked again, “Truly?” “This one swears upon his life that his words contain not a single falsehood,” said Master Wu Chen. Tianlang-Jun turned his head to look at Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan. As if seeking confirmation, he asked, “Truly?” He didn’t even care whether someone was in the know; he was just asking anyone he could. Unable to say anything, Yue Qingyuan silently lowered his head. It was unclear what he thought. Shen Qingqiu deliberated over it further, then finally gave a slow nod.

And, just for another twist of the knife of poignant tragedy, MXTX didn't even stop at that. There is one more use of this line, at the very end of the Shen Jiu extras:

Yue Qingyuan shouldn't have met this kind of fate. For the purpose of attending a decades-late appointment, in order to fulfill a futile, meritless promise. The sword broken, the man dead. It shouldn't have been like this. Threads of blood unfurled, extending outward. Right before they should have converged into one, they passed each other by.

[thursdayygrrrl]

from the sidelines

⌦ .｡.:*♡

characters: natasha romanoff, wanda maximoff (wandanat)

genre: fluff, slight angst

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood & guns, breakdowns/crying

summary: When Wanda comes into Natasha’s life, she gives the widow something to lose.

word count: 3,859

a/n: this is my first time writing for nat/something nat-centric and, technically, wandanat too! this was inspired by sidelines by phoebe bridgers because i think that song is suuuuper underappreciated and that it was a good fit for them (lyrics are in bold and italics). it’s been a while since i last wrote anything for fun and not for uni, so please be kind. i also don’t know much about gardening so some of the language might not be accurate. you can read it on ao3 (here) or under the cut. i hope you enjoy :>

I’m not afraid of anything at all

If there was one thing constant about Natasha, it was the lack of fear. It wasn’t inherent, but was a habit developed essential for her survival. She learned that pretty quickly. One moment of hesitance, no matter how short, could mean life or death. 

There were other times she felt brave without risking her life though. Like when she first dyed her hair. She chose the color blue because it reminded her of the sky. The horizon always looked limitless, a reminder that there could be more to life than what she had already experienced. She remembers making that choice and following through with it. It made her feel in control of something, amidst all the other things she had no power over.

───── ⴵ⋅ᗢ⋅ⴵ ─────

‘Cause nothing ever shakes me, nothing makes me cry

Not a plane going down in the ocean and drowning

One of her most vivid memories is flying the plane with Melina. The night was normal at first. She was playing tag with her younger sister until she fell and hurt her knee. Then, they watched the fireflies and went inside to help with dinner. Alexei arrived and they started eating. It all felt so nice, so normal until he said they were going on a big adventure. Her appetite disappeared. Yelena was excited, oblivious to what it actually meant. She didn’t have the heart or the chance to tell her.

The drive out was tense and quiet, save for American Pie playing in the background. She watched the scenes change outside her window from the suburbs to highways. They had to move fast, but she felt sluggish, overwhelmed with everything going on. She remembers holding on to a photobooth strip of her and Yelena before finally running to get on the plane after being urged by Alexei. The sound of sirens and the whirring of engines, her heartbeat hammering in her chest, filled her ears. Gunshots started sounding off. One hit Melina’s shoulder.

“I need you up here,” She said through gritted teeth. Natasha clambered beside her. 

She was wincing in pain while giving instructions to pull right. 

“Mom, you’ve got blood on you,” Her voice came out strangled, and that tight feeling came along with tears forming in her eyes. She didn’t cry often but she knew she hated the physiological sensations that came with it.

“It’s okay, baby.” Two more cars directly in front of them appeared in the distance. “Hit the accelerator there.”

She did as she was told, speeding the plane up. She faltered when a few more shots were fired at them.

“Hold it steady, hold it steady.” More shots, the headlights ahead were blindingly bright. “You’re gonna pull back at 55 knots.” They started counting in unison. Alexei popped one of the cars’ tires with a bullet, causing them to crash into each other.

“Pull back, you can do it! Pull back, all your strength...” Part of the plane grazes with the bottom of the now-upturned car. But they were finally off the ground. Flying. A sense of relief washes over her.

Considering the past few hours, the rest of the flight went smoothly. They landed somewhere remote, it felt like the middle of nowhere. Alexei carried Melina to a stretcher held by some soldiers she and Yelena ran after. After a short exchange of words with the older woman, she remembers wrangling a gun from someone, unwanted tears threatening to fall from her eyes again, and Yelena’s small form hiding behind her.

“I don’t wanna go back there.”

A needle was buried deep into her neck. She was then thrown into a shipping container with other girls. Masked people were pointing rifles at them, shouting and violently wrenching Yelena from her hold. There was a man, he knelt to meet her eyes. Rough and calloused hands held her face. 

“The Red Room is your home now.”

───── ⴵ⋅ᗢ⋅ⴵ ─────

Watched the world from the sidelines

Had nothing to prove

Natasha had just started getting used to being “normal,” just another child in midwestern America. She was going to school, being around other kids, having a family until it was all ripped away. Even though it was all a lie, she couldn’t say it wasn’t important to her.

Being back in the Red Room was a regimented, isolating existence. No one was able to speak to each other for long. Schedules were planned down to the minute. Excruciating physical training, including hand-to-hand combat, ballet, acrobatics, and weapons training, pushed them to their limits, sometimes even beyond. 

The mutilation, both psychological and physical, was the worst of all. They broke down each girl’s hope and willpower if any were even left. They were treated like objects, mere faceless weapons they could manipulate as a means to an evil end. The ones who survived were considered lucky, the prime of their batches, and given an operation. They called it “graduation,” but everyone knew what that meant.

At some point, she was able to get out. Her time with the KGB, then in S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers was filled with twists and turns. It was a lot of battles, moral disputes, and political agendas. There was even a time when she had to expose her own seedy past, much to her discomfort, but it was for the greater good. She didn’t mind as long as it was for the well-being of others.

───── ⴵ⋅ᗢ⋅ⴵ ─────

‘Til you came into my life

Gave me something to lose

Now that she thinks of it, the first time she interacted with Wanda was horrible. The witch inflicted a vision, memories that she was trying to bury and leave behind, when she was weakened and vulnerable. There were snippets of a conversation with Madame B. The graduation ceremony. It made her feel like a monster all over again.

The next time they interacted was in the Battle of Sokovia. She remembers regrouping with Steve, but not expecting the very same witch to make an appearance. Despite all the chaos, the jacket she wore looked familiar.

“Is that my jacket?” Natasha gestured at the younger woman, frowning slightly.

“She’s with us,” Steve said.

“That still doesn’t explain the jacket.” 

Natasha was persistent. She didn’t shop for clothes often, never dressing up unless she wanted or had to, so this red jacket was special. It was one of the first few things she bought for herself. Wanda, now awkward and unsure of what to do, ran off. The rest of the battle felt like a blur of robots and rubble.

Since then, Wanda joined the Avengers. The younger woman mostly kept to herself when not on missions, watching sitcoms in her room. Vision would talk to her sometimes. Other times, the widow herself would do so. Natasha understood she needed space and time to cope with everything she’d been through but didn’t want to leave her fully isolated. 

Their conversations, if you could even call them that, were awkward at first. Natasha would ramble on about whatever, trying to fill the silence.

“There’s breakfast in the kitchen.”

Wanda looks up from her book only to be met with a small, warm smile on the assassin’s face.

“It’s the usual American stuff. Eggs, bacon, sugary cereal, some fruit. Pretty sure Clint’s making waffles too,” Natasha points to the door with her thumb. “You should eat with us. Bond with the team, all that stuff that Steve goes on about. We’ll have training after.”

Wanda hums in contemplation. Then, she nods. It’s the slightest motion that one would miss if they didn’t pay enough attention. Natasha nods back and turns to leave the room. The witch’s voice catches her off-guard, though.

“I’ll come with you.”

It’s raspy in the best way possible, with a hint of her Sokovian accent lingering. It’s a sound that Natasha decides she would like to hear more often. Her smile grows ever so slightly as she gestures for her to walk together.

───

When Natasha started helping in Wanda’s hand-to-hand combat training, the two became closer literally and figuratively. In one memorable session, from when Wanda still wasn’t as skilled at combat as she is now, Natasha was able to pin her down. Her lithe fingers wrapped around the other woman’s wrists while she used her thighs to straddle. All to restrict movement, of course. The flustered expression on the witch’s face could not be more obvious.

Their sessions consisted of a warm-up, some rounds of sparring, and a cooldown. After barely surviving this particularly challenging one, Wanda lands on the bench with a sigh. “Fuck… You kicked my ass today, Tasha. No fair,” She says through heavy breaths, leaning back and wiping the sweat from her brow.

Natasha shrugs and smiles as she sits beside her, reaching for a bottle of water across from the younger woman. Her torso brushes with her thigh, making the Sokovian lose her breath all over again.

“Please. I went easy on you. Besides, it’s revenge for taking my jacket,” Natasha says as she sits back up and takes a sip of water.

Wanda stands on slightly wobbly legs while a breathy laugh escapes her lips. “You’re really still holding that grudge?” She raises her hands playfully, “In my defense, Steve threw it at me and told me to put it on. It was a hectic time, you know.” 

Natasha smirks and shakes her head as they both move to gather their bags and leave. The assassin offers her hand. 

“Let me carry your stuff. It’s the least I can do. Look, you can barely stand.”

“It’s okay, Tasha. I go—” 

“Come on,” The widow urges. A knowing look is on her face. 

Wanda’s face becomes flushed, more so than it already was. It looks like she hopes Natasha won’t notice, but she does anyway. She raises her eyebrow teasingly.

“Did the workout take you out that bad, Wands?”

The nickname doesn’t help at all. Wanda rolls her eyes playfully as she hands her duffel bag over. Natasha slings both bags over her shoulder and they start walking together.

“Remind me again why I have to keep doing the hand-to-hand stuff? I literally move things with my mind.”

“If you use your mind, why do you do the thing with your hands then?” Natasha tries to mimic the witch’s signature hand movements with her free hand. This earns her a lighthearted push. 

“Oh, you know I’m just kidding. We both know you can’t just rely on your magic all the time. I want you to be able to fend for yourself if anything happens. Yeah?”

Wanda groans exaggeratedly, “Ugh. Okay, yes, you have a point.”

She chuckles at this. The pair, now embraced by a comfortable silence, walks to the elevator of the compound. As they enter, Natasha wraps her free arm around Wanda’s shoulder. She squeezes slightly, firm muscles under her touch, bringing her closer and looking into her eyes. 

“Wanna have lunch with me today?”

Wanda raises her eyebrow, “Can we watch I Love Lucy while we eat?”

Natasha nods and hands over her bag. “Of course.”

They smile warmly at each other, parting ways to freshen up before meeting again later.

───

Natasha and Wanda have seen each other at different points in their lives. Happy, sad, and everything else in between. But the Lagos Incident was a whole other thing. Natasha herself was a witness to how Wanda had been doing so well before it. To watch the immense guilt, self-loathing, and depression come over the witch after the incident, after slowly building herself back up, was heartbreaking for the widow.

Old habits die hard. Wanda becomes a recluse again. However, instead of sitcoms accompanying her, it was the news. She couldn’t help but keep watching coverage of it as if being constantly reminded of this tragedy was helping anyone.

Steve already spoke with her, Natasha knows this, but she decides to give a different type of comfort to the person she’s grown to love. A silent one, one that speaks through actions. 

On days Wanda doesn’t leave her room, Natasha knows she isn’t eating so she goes up and brings food. Nine times out of ten, it’s a peanut butter sandwich because it’s all she can make without setting the kitchen on fire. Ten times out of ten, it’s returned with just a few bites taken out. It doesn’t matter, Natasha is just happy to provide her with even the littlest bit of sustenance.

On nights Wanda can’t sleep, evident by the faint light escaping from her room, Natasha stays up with her. She takes it upon herself to change the channels on Wanda’s television or switch it off. She puts on some music instead, knowing that noise is a welcome distraction to her spiraling thoughts. Other times, Wanda motions for Natasha to her bed. The contact of skin on skin, the physical reminder that she isn’t alone helps Wanda relax even if it’s only for a few hours. Most nights, the feeling of Natasha’s body pressed up against Wanda’s is enough to lull her to sleep. 

And when it’s not, when she falls into that spiral once more, Natasha’s always there to wipe away her tears and pull her out of it.

“So many people… All those lives lost because I-I couldn’t—” Wanda sobs, breaking down in the familiar hold of strong arms.

Natasha squeezes just a little bit tighter. She speaks softly, interrupting the younger woman, “I know, Wands. I know. But you have to stop blaming yourself, okay? We’ve all hurt people and we’ve all made mistakes. Even if we mean well. And you did mean well. It’s just sometimes things work out in ways we don’t anticipate.”

The consoling words fall on deaf ears. Wanda shakes her head and cries even harder while burying herself deeper into the embrace. Her voice is muffled, repeated pleas of repentance, “It’s my fault, it’s my fault, it’s all my fault… T-tasha, it’s all my fault…” Unsure what to say now, Natasha resorts to her instinct instead. It has never failed her. She starts to rock Wanda gently, pressing a soothing kiss to the top of the younger woman’s head. A quiet, melodic hum resonates from her lips. She continues until Wanda’s breathing evens out and until sleep takes over both of them.

───

A soft stream of sunlight seeps into the room, awakening the Russian. She looks down at the sleeping figure in her arms. Wanda looks so peaceful right now, Natasha thinks. She would do anything to conserve this moment, this feeling of serenity for her. To take away all her pain, heartache, and afflictions. Realistically, she knows she can’t accomplish that. The best she can do is just be there for her. 

It’s been a few minutes since and she feels Wanda stir slightly, who immediately snuggles closer and remains asleep. A warm feeling settles in her body, first in her chest then it spreads all over. She recalls feeling this way many times before, but only ever with Wanda. It’s at this exact instance she finally fully realizes what this is.

I’m in love. 

She bites her lip in contemplation, quiet realization, as Wanda’s eyes flutter open. Hazy green eyes look into clear ones and a mumbled phrase reaches her ears. “Your thoughts are getting loud, Tasha. Are you okay?”

Broken from her trance, she looks down at Wanda. “Yeah, I am. Um. I just… I have something to tell you.” She shifts to lean against the headboard. Now is as perfect a time as any, she thinks. 

Wanda’s eyebrows stitch together in a frown as she rubs the sleep from her eyes. She sits up, mostly leaning her weight on the other woman, while trying to decipher the look on her face. The Russian waits for a sign of approval from the Sokovian. Wanda nods and hums.

“I’m going to be direct about this, Wands.”

She takes a deep breath in.

“I like that we’ve grown close, that we consider each other as friends. I like doing things for you and with you and I like helping you, giving you what I have. Time, insight, comfort, whatever. Watching sitcoms with you, sleeping next to you, and waking up in your bed. I like your voice and your ringed hands, how graceful they look when you use your powers. The way your nose scrunches up and your bunny teeth show when you smile. How your accent slips when you say certain words and how you say my name. The way you carry yourself. How you care so much about others… If you let me, I would care for you for the rest of time.”

Natasha finishes with a sharp exhale, only now realizing her rambling. Losing control was one of the things she never wanted to experience again, but this time was different. Finally letting these thoughts flow through and out of her felt cathartic. 

Wanda’s voice is quiet, “You would?” 

Natasha nods, “Always.”

She says it without hesitation. Because she is wholly certain that she has no other answer. Why would there be?

Wanda becomes silent. An unreadable expression appears on her face as she takes in Natasha’s words. Her posture straightens slightly. Tension is now in the air and a silence begins to settle. 

Natasha screws her eyes shut, willing the tears in her eyes to stop forming. She was just about to take everything back, apologize for even saying anything, before getting interrupted. She feels slim fingers gently hold her face. Wanda strokes Natasha’s cheek, her thumb moving in slow, circular motions while she speaks.

“Tasha, hey, please don’t cry,” Wanda looks at her pleadingly, leaning in closer.

Natasha blinks rapidly, brows furrowing together. “I’m sorry. I got nervous because you weren’t saying anything and I… I don’t want to lose you.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I just had to take a minute because I didn’t realize you felt this way. Trust you won’t lose me, please.” She looks away. Her touch slows down and ceases as her hands fall to her lap. “I just don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“You didn’t have to do anything, moya lyubov.” Natasha holds Wanda’s hands, “I mean everything I just said. I love you, Wanda.” 

She waits for a response with bated breath. Before she knows it, she feels supple lips capture her own. 

It’s tender yet electric. It’s everything she’s ever imagined and more. It’s simply perfect.

Natasha closes her eyes and deepens the kiss. She cradles Wanda’s jaw and feels the brunette melt into her touch. They pull away seconds later, foreheads touching as they catch their breath. Wanda says softly, “I love you too, Natasha. You don’t know how long I have been wanting to say that.”

───── ⴵ⋅ᗢ⋅ⴵ ─────

Now I know what it feels like

To wanna go outside

It was a calm morning, both women following a routine established over the past few months. Natasha would wake up early and then proceed to training, leaving Wanda to sleep in. By the time she’d be back, Wanda was up and just finishing preparing breakfast. They’d eat together, talk about their plans for the day, and decide what to do from there. Some days they’d spend together while, on others, they’d have separate activities. 

“Detka! Come here, please!”

Natasha was working on some reports when she heard Wanda call out. She looks at the clock and decides now is a perfect time to take a break anyway. She hums as she stands up and stretches her limbs before leaving the room.

Wanda had been tending to the garden in the compound for some time now. She started with small pots of herbs and then moved to random vegetables after discovering she had a gift for raising plants. Lately, she also added flowers and various houseplants to her catalog. Being out in the sun, getting her hands dirty, and nurturing these plants was hard work, but it was work Wanda loved.

Natasha makes a couple of peanut butter sandwiches and pours two glasses of cold water on a tray, then carries it over to the sliding door leading to the garden. She places it down on a table outside and her eyes immediately search for Wanda. It’s an irresistible sight, her beloved’s face beaming and surrounded by greenery. She even thinks she sees her talking to the plants.

She smiles to herself while appreciating the view until Wanda realizes she’s arrived. She gets waved over, “Tasha!” The excitement in the witch’s voice is barely contained as Natasha walks towards her. 

She wraps an arm around Wanda, bringing her closer and kissing her forehead, “Hi, kotenok. I brought over some snacks and water if you wanted them. What is it you wanted me to see?”

Wanda pulls off her gardening gloves, places them in her pocket, and brushes her hands over her pants. She mumbles a quick thank you before taking Natasha’s hand in one of her own and using the other to cover her eyes.

“Close your eyes. I want this to be a surprise.” 

Natasha plays along, using her free hand to help cover her eyes. “Okay. Just make sure I don’t trip, yeah?”

Wanda giggles as she leads Natasha by the hand, “Don’t worry, detka, I got you.” 

They walk slowly, up a few steps, and stop. Wanda takes a deep breath, “Okay, now.”

When their hands uncover Natasha’s eyes, she is met with vibrant blooms of various colors against a green background of bushes. It’s a masterful arrangement of asters, marigolds, hydrangeas, wildflowers, and many more. She gasps, breath taken away by the gorgeous sight. 

“You did all this by yourself?” 

The Sokovian nods sheepishly, “Yeah. I read somewhere that getting them all to bloom like this would be challenging, but I think I did decently.”

Natasha squeezes her hand, “It’s more than decent. It looks stunning, Wands. You did an amazing job.”

Wanda’s arm wraps around Natasha’s waist, her head rests on her shoulder. A satisfied sigh leaves her lips. They remain silent, basking in each other’s presence and the garden view.

“If you’re like this with plants, I can only imagine how well you’d be with kids,” Natasha muses. 

Wanda lifts her head and looks at Natasha, her shoulders raised slightly, “What if, at some point, you won’t have to imagine?”

Small smiles grow on both of their faces. They share a knowing look before assuming their previous positions. “Someday, lyubov, someday.”

Natasha used to feel the need to keep busy, keep moving because she thought anything too constant would be taken away from her again. Though she never admitted it to anyone, not even herself, the thought of settling down and starting a family of her own was terrifying.

But not anymore. Everything felt so much easier with Wanda. It now truly felt like anything was possible. The lack of fear forced onto her when she was younger came from a dark place of abuse and indifference. Now, it comes naturally. It comes from love.