#it lays out exactly what it is
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citrusandbergamot · 2 years ago
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The opening episode of trigun is actually perfect. 10/10. No notes.
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thedreadvampy · 2 years ago
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
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#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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ahollowgrave · 6 months ago
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L'APPEL DU VIDE
Mateus | Mists | W24 P29
The house Odette's great-aunt left her. Not in the mists in-character, but still cradled on the coast of Vylbrand on a decent plot of land. Most of the house remains closed off, in various states of abandonment, but the wing Odette does occupy is kept tidy. She has certainly added her own touches and has claimed an attic bedroom for her own. If you swing by for a visit please leave a message! And mind the shadows.
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bunnieswithknives · 2 months ago
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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sepiasys · 29 days ago
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That fucked up feeling of waking up, having the most clarity on who you are AND HAVING GENDER EUPHORIA FROM SOMETHING THAT YOU COULD DESCRIBE AND HAVING THE CLEAREST DEFINITION OF IT,
and then forgetting all of that because someone else got triggered to front.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months ago
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...
#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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fictionadventurer · 1 year ago
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Imagine what it must have been like for Mark Twain to see Ulysses S. Grant write his memoirs. Twain's a successful career author, who, like all writers, knows firsthand the struggle of getting words on a page, knows how painstakingly slow and frustrating the writing process can be. And here's Grant, with no literary training whatsoever, dying of cancer, barely sleeping or eating because of the excruciating pain, regularly writing 10,000 words a day. And it's good.
I'd be tempted to give up writing right there. How do you compete with that? You can't be jealous of the guy, because of the whole "dying of cancer" thing, and yet...it's gotta just about drive you nuts. It just about drives me nuts. In good health, I can work for hours to get a few sentences on a page. And then this guy's showing us all up. It's maddening.
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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 2 months ago
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When June confronts Solas please imagine it like that one scene in KH1 where Riku does his little "im evil now" speech and Sora goes "youre stupid!" at him
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allpromarlo · 5 months ago
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every time somebody edits kenjaku’s scars out an angel loses its wings
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thetwilightroadtonightfall · 5 months ago
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I am the happiest person on earth right now because I just went out with a friend to grab a late lunch and it was just supposed to be a quick casual catch up thing that turned into a 4 hour conversation in the car about things that happened to us almost a decade ago 🥲
#roadie rambles#no one’s obligated to read this but y’all…you better sit down if you’re interested bc I’m feeling SO chatty tonight#for context: this is my childhood friend I grew up with then we went to different high schools and colleges#but over the years we’ve kept in touch and we see each other maybe 2-3 times a year#we have really similar personalities#okay ​so basically. 👏 today we learned that we had the /exact same/ traumatic experience in high school /almost around the same time/#and not only that!!! the people who caused it were the same people who were in our childhood 4 person friend group!! (we split 2-2 in hs)#now before you get worried: I’m not about to traumadump and we’re both in better wiser healthier places now#but imagine that!!!#the same exact experiences down to a T. and neither of us shared it until now#we weren’t ready to at the time and we’re not exactly the most open with our feelings#plus. different schools different lives not seeing each other every day yada yada#but with the clarity of hindsight and both of us being adults now we were ready!!! 👏👏#we had a convo in the car that naturally led into us letting it all out#and shit man. it’s not the trauma olympics here but. I thought the aftermath of what I went through was bad#venting it out was awesome for both of us and we had a lot of good laughs over it#but my friend…she went through some awful stuff#really hard stuff.#it broke my heart honestly bc she’s an amazing person and she didn’t deserve any of it#I made sure she knew that. she made sure /I/ knew that.#we were both hurt and betrayed in the same ways. but we also learned from it in the same ways. and now it’s something we share#we both wished that we could’ve had this convo years earlier#but I know that it wouldn’t have happened in the same way bc we weren’t at our current levels of maturity back then#I believe we were meant to have this convo /today/ and now we’re both better for it#that’s on growing up and having someone to heal with babey!!!! 🥹💖💖💖#if you made it this far thank you!! I appreciate it#I’m just…gonna lay here with my full heart and think about this forever now
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.
Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.
Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.
It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...
This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.
I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#didnt mean to write this much about the concept but i really am so...#jealous almost. id love to be able to read my fic as a reader.#because it's tailor made to my tastes Exactly.#and i know it's good writing. i surprise myself even sometimes with how good things end up.#it's never a doubt in my mind that i'll make things good. even the harder things . while bringing trepitation . i know i'll figure them out.#the relationship a fic writer has with their own fic is so... yeah. intimate. but still somehow emotionally removed.#but thats how it goes with any art piece i think#the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it#they know their work better than Anyone Else. but they'll never be able to experience it like an outsider.#is my fic helping someone through a rough breakup? is it something someone rereads when theyre sad?#is it a fic that people stay up way too late reading? the fic that someone discovers and consumes all within a day?#that voracious love. ive experienced it many times with other fics. but i can never experience it with my own.#but in the end. that's okay. i will just continue to do as i wish with it. and maybe people will continue to like it.#it is my goal to make a fic that people will never forget. what that may mean differs depending on the person.#i want it to be the best fic it can be. and i will make it so with every brick i lay down.#puttering about for days and weeks and months. it's Most of what i think about. it's my impact on the world.#and it's sitting for 3 hours after work in the storage room writing until im shivering but Satisfied with a productive writing session#it's writing some of my most emotional scenes while sitting for an hour on the toilet#no one else knows what the toilet written scenes are. but I Do. such is my relationship with my fic.#(the focus in the Quiet Rooms cannot be underestimated. the bathroom is indeed one of the Quiet Rooms lol)#& man. ive rambled so much now. but i just love my fic so very much#i'll never be an ITNL reader. and that's okay. because i'm its writer. & that's a status that No One Else can boast.#even those people who state that it's their Favorite favorite cant rival the intimacy of my own relationship with it.#I Am Its Writer and that means so very much to me.#i... really do love my fic y'all
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blujayonthewing · 2 months ago
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love to have Literally Just More Than One thing I want to do for myself for fun and get completely fatigued and paralyzed by overwhelm about it
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frankiebirds · 6 months ago
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JJ: It's something we call the buddy system. That means, you always go everywhere with a friend. MORGAN: That's right, because bad men and women are more likely to talk to us only when we're by ourselves
this is likely unintentional, but i like to read into things, so.
for context, they're speaking to a room full of children in a town with a serial child murderer, and are giving them some precautions to follow to stay safe (on a lighter note: the scene is intercut with a scene of gideon doing the same to a room of adults, which i really like)
jj addresses the children as "you" while morgan addresses them as "we". i dont like the term "freudian slip" because i hate freud, but thats the shortest way to describe what i think/headcanon is happening here. im sure they had a script, and i think morgan's part was "bad men and women are more likely to talk to you only when you're by yourself" and the "us/we" came out accidentally. or i could believe that morgan wrote his part of the script and wrote "we" because he sees himself in the victims.
obviously the way morgan was victimized during his childhood was very different to what's happening here (there is no sexual assault and we later learn that the violence was done by a peer, not an adult) but it's made clear several times that morgan takes any case where children are harmed very personally. they all do, because that's just how people are, but again, morgan specifically sees himself in the child victims they encounter. he was victimized differently, yes, but he knows what its like to face violence as a child, he knows the fear they felt, and, considering in this case they profile that the children know their attacker, he knows the feeling of betrayal
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softquietsteadylove · 11 months ago
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It’s mistlefoe season… we need some spicy Thenamesh holiday content
"Wow."
Sersi smiled at Gil admiring the snow falling with his nose practically pressing his nose to her window. "It's been a while since you've seen it, I suppose."
"Don't know how many years," he murmured as he admired the gentle snowfall beginning to blanket London. "And it definitely wasn't with all the lights and stuff."
Sersi laughed faintly, "it actually is quite lovely. Dane loves the holiday season."
Gil turned away from the window and nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets, "does he have family traditions and stuff?"
"Dane has," Sersi paused smiling faintly, "interesting family lineage. But he does enjoy the usual human things--making cookies, gingerbread houses, themed films."
"Have fun," Gil waved to his sister as she waved to him on her way out. She had left him and Thena her flat while they were visiting, stating that it was no trouble since she stayed with Dane most nights these days anyway.
Dane had made the mistake of asking if they would like to use his flat's guestroom, to which Thena had told him directly that she preferred her own space should they wish to 'exercise physical intimacy'. Dane had gone rather red while Sersi had admonished Thena for deliberately embarrassing for her own amusement.
But having their own space was what they were used to, after all. Gil stepped away from Sersi's window and slowly moved towards her bedroom. Thena had immediately said her goodbye to Sersi and headed right to the bedroom.
She needed to prepare something, she said.
Gil drifted to the door and knocked gently, "you okay, hon? Can I come in?"
"Indeed."
Gilgamesh opened the door, ready to jump on the nice big bed and cuddle his wife after a nice day of visiting. He stopped short at the door, his hand dropping off the handle and his jaw opening. "Holy shit."
"It is customary to give gifts," Thena declared completely seriously from her place on the bed, sitting up with her legs curled in front of her and her hair twisted over her shoulder. "But we require nothing."
"Uh," Gil swallowed dryly, eyeing the long legs on the green duvet. "Y-Yeah."
"But when Sersi was in a cosmetics store," Thena continued in her borderline scientific explanation as he practically floated over to her. "They were saying that a man would appreciate most something...physical."
Gil just nodded, eyeing his wife's naked body with a ribbon tied around it. It was a wide, red thing, long and wound around her several times.
"This was what I purchased," she concluded, gesturing to the ribbon, and where it was attempting to bind and support her breasts like a mummy wrapping.
"I love it," Gil murmured completely dumbstruck, crawling onto the bed. "I love you."
Thena finally smiled, leaning forward only slightly to kiss him, letting him clamber over her in the centre of the bed and its many, many pillows. She laughed as they landed backwards, Gilgamesh kissing her loudly and hungrily. "Does this gift satisfy you?"
He pulled away to grin at her, touching the tip of his nose to hers before reaching for the end of the bow under her ribs. "Satisfies me every time, hon."
Thena received more of his kissing, as well as his tongue seeking out hers. "Eager."
"For you?" he grinned at her again, finally undoing the fine, silky ribbon and replacing its touch on her skin with his hands. "For this?--always."
Thena purred as he ran his hands down her waist and to her hips, helping her shimmy out of the remainder of the ribbon until she was completely exposed.
Gil nearly howled as he pulled it away, catching some evidence of her own eagerness sticking to the ribbon. He brought it to his lips, "I should unwrap it properly."
Thena leaned back against their many pillows, her hair tumbling around her as he parted her knees around his shoulder and licked up her thigh. "Gil."
He listened to her sighs become moans as he latched onto her, letting his tongue explore her as if for the first time, and not one of thousands upon thousands. He always liked to explore her body like it was a gift--he was well practised for this 'gifting season'.
"Gil," Thena panted, her back arching and her hips squirming as he pushed his tongue into her. She moved her hips against him as well, but his strength helped him keep her from bucking him away. "Gil, yes!"
He always liked to have a taste of her before the main course. She thought it was ridiculous that he would apply flavour analogies to their lovemaking. But it was his nature, and it was what he loved! And surely using his perfect palette on what he loved most in the world - her - was the best way to utilise it.
"Gil!" Thena arched her back up higher, lifting her hips to meet him more aggressively. "There, right there!"
He repeated exactly what she asked. His Warrior Eternal knew what she desired, and he liked that she took exactly that. He pushed his lips harder against her clit.
"Fuck!"
He liked it when she cursed, too. They sounded sexier when she did it.
Thena purred, shimmying around on top of the cotton sheets, her thighs trembling as he helped her lie more comfortably, her knees folding passively.
Gil leaned over her, kissing her again. "You good?"
"Hm," she responded in the affirmative. He pulled her into his embrace, letting her feel the weight of his chest against hers. She went to the trouble of rolling her head forward again to look at him. "Satisfied?"
"Very," he chuckled, kissing her again. "And I can't wait for us both to have the finisher."
Thena rolled her eyes at him calling the act of physical intercourse a 'finisher' to a 'tasting menu' again.
He kissed her again instead. He had torn his clothes off while she was recovering from her orgasm, not needing much time to throw them all away and leave him as bare as her.
Thena moaned against his lips, the sound travelling through them both as he pushed into her in the same breath. Her legs made room for him, her foot dragging up the back of his leg. She dragged her hands up his back, digging into the meat of his shoulders briefly before sinking into his hair.
Gil pushed his elbows into some of the many pillows around them to change his angle. Thena whined, changing the angle of her hips as well. "How long?"
"Hm?" she blinked, having had her eyes closed in bliss (which he always considered him doing a good job).
"How long?" he repeated, thrusting into her. He grasped the ribbon that was still stuck under them, pressing it between his thumb and knuckle. "When did you buy this? Were you really carrying it around all day?"
Thena merely nodded, not feeling the need to explain herself. Especially not her plan to seduce him with her naked body using ribbon from a craft store. "Hours."
He buried his face in her neck, nipping and then licking down to the dip of her clavicle. "Maybe it's good you didn't tell me. I'd have taken you into some changing room or something."
Thena grinned like a devil, "again."
Sersi had been so mortified that she had refused to exit the mall at the same time as them lest she be associated by witnesses. Thena had stated that the door was locked, so they were technically not indecent had they not 'called the authorities'.
"It was fun, though," he also smirked as he started moving faster. "Hey, we're on vacation."
"Honeymoon number...?" Thena prompted before letting her head fall back again, her hands linked behind his neck.
"Can't remember," he chuckled, picking up speed again. He bent his legs, helping him lean up so he could grasp her hips and really thrust hard and fast. "I'm thinking of other things--fuck!"
"Yes, almost, almost," she panted and gasped, digging her nails into him again. "Fuck me."
He loved it when she said that. "You comin' with me, sweetheart?"
Thena arched her back all the way off the bad, her toes spreading out and then curling. "Gil!"
She loved it when he called her sweetheart.
Gil followed her swiftly, needing only a few more moves to fall over the edge with her. He leaned over her again, letting their bodies writhe together, all the softness, all the hardness, all parts knocking into each other beautiful and ungracefully. "Fuck!"
Thena was happy to grind their hips together as they both rode out their highs. She undulated around him lazily, her hands drifting over him as she luxuriated in the sheer warmth of him.
He panted into the side of her cheek, her hair pillowing his head. He lifted his head to kiss under her jaw, "you good?"
"Entirely."
Then he had accomplished his mission. He nuzzled her again before leaning up. Thena wasn't going to bother moving at all unless he moved her himself.
She did whine faintly as he pulled away from her, bringing her legs together as he slipped out of her. "And where are you going?"
"We're not at home, Thena," he chuckled, retrieving a towel to dab at her sheening skin.
"And?" she sighed with a smile, letting him run it over her skin the way a cat would allow itself to be petted.
"And I'll make us something to eat too," he promised as a reward for enduring the bore that was aftercare. He wrapped her up in the duvet and pulled her up into his arms. "Sersi stocked the kitchen for me. I should make use of it, shouldn't I?"
"Very well," she sighed, letting him carry her with him for sustenance. "Shall we be returning after our meal break, then?"
If she wanted to, they could go all night. He kissed her forehead, "the gift that keeps on giving, right?"
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forgotten-daydreamer · 3 months ago
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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solradguy · 1 year ago
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Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.
it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages
While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.
The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.
#asks#Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole)#I know exactly how these people function because I was there once...#When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do#Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care#All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did)#I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing?#I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else#People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified#It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic#I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally#I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol#Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized#'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man'#It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly.#There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now#Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently#Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context#So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care
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