#it is just so i can look back at it if i ever actually learn the lore and either be impressed at my “detective skills”

[grvait]

old art again!! this time a rough animation of sawyer and yarnaby 😎 (looks better if u click to view 😭)

im working on a short ppt animation rn. im thinking i should post it to my youtube channel, though im not sure if people here would see it. i think i can link videos on here?? idk

okay I'm gonna talk abt more chapter 4 stuff.. this time about prototype's previous identity.. ch4 spoilers and also a theory below..

hiding the solo yarnaby under here LOL

people theorized 1006 was elliot, which was recently disproven in the chapter 4 tape where poppy refers to elliot as her dad and wishes he were there. in the same tape she addresses prototype as a completely different person. also recall that elliot died in the 90s, meanwhile prototype met theo in 1989. so yeah, they aren't the same person

I've also seen people say rich is prototype, which cannot be true either. in a ch4 tape he speaks to one of the boys who eventually got turned into doey. the kid mentions his coworkers joking about him going missing. before the bbi, it would not make sense for this to be a common rumor at the company, which means this tape had to happen after harley was hired in 1990; at a time when the company would have a reason to silence people

prototype existed in 1989 at the minimum, but considering he says "it's always been about you and me" to poppy, he's likely the prototype of HER. she's elliots daughter, she died in the 60s, meaning prototype was probably created around that time as well.

this means that rich can't be the prototype because he was human long after prototype was made

if you want my take on who prototype truly is, i'd say his identity doesn't necessarily matter. i don't mean to say his origins aren't important, just that his name and specific role in the past probably doesn't mean anything in the long run. i've never believed he was elliot or rich, and maybe in the future i'll be proven wrong but for now i'll tell you the theory i've had since june of last year

elliot's daughter dies in the 60s. he divorced his wife in 1930, so his daughter is probably in her 30s when she dies. she gets sick or injured, maybe she's actively dying or already dead by the time elliot begins his research. he looks for ways to bring her back, but it doesn't work on the rats (as he mentioned a note in the 2nd chapter)

so what does he do? he tries it on something bigger as he said he would: a human. of course he's not going to try this experimental method on his own daughter, even if she's already dead, so he finds someone else to use it on. we know that elliot wasn't evil or anything, so it's unlikely he killed anybody to use for the experiment. considering the orphanage isn't open yet (it opened in the 70s, not the 60s), prototype probably wasn't an orphan child either. if i run with my simple version of the theory, elliot may have dug up a body in a graveyard and used that. maybe a fresh one, who knows. he tried it, it worked, then he revived his daughter with the same method.

this is likely what harley wanted to know about in the chapter 3 tape (the "i learn something new about you every day" one), and also what prototype is asking harley to figure out in the ch4 tape they're both in. in that case, sawyer never actually figured out how to revive people with the poppy substance. sure, he can transfer people into the toys, but he can't bring anybody back to life

more reason to believe prototype and poppy are of the same "batch" is because it seems they are the only two who don't need food. it's outright stated about him in the ch1 trailer, and insinuated with her saying the "toys will starve otherwise" when she's talking about how nasty them eating humans is. she refers to them, not herself. her and prototype are probably the only 2 who were ever brought back from the dead, which circles back around to his monologue and gives meaning to the "it's always been about you and me, poppy. what we are". when i heard him say that i felt like my theory was lowk confirmed 😭😭

no guarantee this is right, but it's been my guess for a long time

[enwoso]

Hi, would you write a lovie fic where she’s learning how to ride her bike? And in the learning process she takes some tumbles, but in the end she learns it.

BALANCING ACT | alessia russo x child!reader

grumpy masterlist

it was a sunny day in london, painting the backyard in hues of gold and orange as alessia crouched down, adjusting the pink helmet strap on your chin, to stop it scratching. your wild little curls peeking out from under the helmet and a determined glint in your big blue eyes as you gripped the handlebars of your small pink bike. 

the training wheels had officially came off and alessia's heart was doing an uneven dance between excitement but also worry and dread. 

"you ready then, lovie?" your mummy asked, giving your cheek a gentle squeezed as you looked up a big grin on your face.

you had been begging your mummy for the past few weeks to take the training wheels of your bike telling her you were a big girl and didn't need them anymore and had nothing to do with the fact that all your friends from school were also learning to ride their bikes without training wheels.

"i'm ready!" you declared, your tiny hands tightening on the handlebars as your mummy positioned you so you were facing down the driveway as she silently hoped you were out the way of her car - not wanting it to get scratched.

with a soft smile, alessia placed her hands on the back of the seat, steadying the bike for you. "okay, remember to look ahead and keep pedalling. i've got you." 

you gave her a resolute nod as your face scrunched up in concentration, alessia pushed gently on the back of the seat as she jogged alongside you as the little bike wobbled forward. and for a few glorious seconds, you were actually doing it. the pedals turned and you and the bike seemed to stay upright as you let out a excited giggle.

but then, the inevitable happened. the dread that had lingered in alessia's head happened.

the front wheel veered slightly and you tipped to the side, alessia's hands reached out trying to catch you but it was too late as you tumbled onto the grass on the side of the pavement.

you sat up, your lip quivering as you clutched your scraped knee. "owie" you whimpered, your fingers hovering over the fresh scrape.

"oh, lovie" your mummy cooed, scooping you up into her arms, kissing the top of your head as she brushed a stray tear that had escaped from your cheek, "lets get you inside and patched up!"

alessia carrying you into the kitchen before lifting you onto the counter and rummaged throught a drawer for a box of plaster, ones with a cartoon character of course as in your mind they worked so much better than the boring normal ones. 

your tiny legs swinging back and forth as you watched your mummy carefully clean the scrape with a damp cloth. "does it hurt a lot?" your mummy asked softly, placing the cloth to one side.

"a little" you admitted but your voice wasn't as small as alessia had expected it to be.

"okay, now this plaster is magic" your mummy said with a grin as she peeled of a bright blue strip decorated with cartoon stars, "this will make you all better in no time!"

you gave your mummy an amused look, "magic?" 

"absolutely, doctor mummy guarantees it!" alessia pressed the plaster gently over the scrape, giving it a little pat for good measure. as alessia turned to toss the wrapper away, she heard your little voice, matter of fact and full of determination.

"can we go back outside now?"

alessia froze, blinking as she processed the request, turning back to you as you were already trying to wriggle off the counter, "wait- you want to keep trying?"

"yeah!" your face lit up with a smile as you spoke so full of confidence as if it was the most obvious thing you could have ever said. "i need to learn by myself!"

for a second, alessia just stared at you, a tiny whirlwind of stubbornness and resolve that you were as alessia thought back to her own childhood and how she would always feel more determined after the smallest of failures.

but here you were, your knee scraped most likely still stinging and you were ready to jump back on the bike as if nothing had happened. a big swell of pride filled alessia's chest it was making it ache slightly.

"okay," your mummy said, brushing a small strand of hair out of your face, "let me just grab a bottle of water first. and if you feel tired we stop, okay?"

"ok mummy!" you chirped and already halfway to the door to put your trainers back on after your mummy had dumped them at the front door when she carried you in.

once you both got back outside the sun was lower, as it casted shadows across the grass. alessia steadying the bike once more, her hands firm but gentle on the seat.

"let's try again," this time, alessia could tell something was different. your wobbling was a little less wobbly, your pedalling was a little more confident as then all of a sudden, you didn't need your mummy's hands there to keep you steady.

"thats it! keep doing it!" your mummy cheered as she clapped loudly her voice high with excitement. your face breaking into a wide grin as you realised what was happening. 

you were riding your bike. by yourself.

"im doin' it! mummy! look i can do it!" you cried with excitement as the same small giggles left your lips. alessia clapped her hands, pride radiating from every pore as she jogged beside you. tears pricking at her eyes as she blinked them away, focusing on this moment.

when you finally came to a triumphant stop, as the pavement has ran out, you hopped off the bike, throwing your arms around your mummy's leg as she scooped you up into her arms. "i did it!"

"you did it, lovie!" your mummy murmured, twirling you around with chorus of cheers and laugher, "i'm so so so proud of you!"

you grinned, resting your head on your mummy's shoulder, "you were right the plaster was magic!" you giggled out.

alessia laughed as she held you close as she shook her head, "no baby, your the magic."

in the glow of the setting sun, you rode your bike back home perfectly before leaving it triumphantly in the garage before listing off what you wanted for dinner that nigh as alessia while listening to your list realised she had just witnessed a small but extraordinary moment - your first taste of determination and victory.

[cuteandhughesy]

Love Looks Pretty On You | Jonathan Kovacevic

summary: dating one of the members of the new jersey devils roster was frowned upon, and breaching that rule could result in the loss of your job—however, when johnathan kovacevic comes into the picture, the rules seem to fade away

15.5k

warnings: NSFW! workplace romance | forbidden relationship | coach!reader | suggestive dialogue throughout entirety of the fic | shameless flirting and teasing | fluff | lil bit of angst | kissing | alcohol | smut | phone sex | (f + m) masturbation | oral (f receiving) | protected p in v | suggestive themes | read at your own discretion

a/n: based off this lovely request! this is a player i’ve never written before, and before this request I wasn’t too familiar with (just his name and the team he plays for) so i’m so happy to have learned and now share! but i’m actually really happy with this, so I hope you love.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

part1: job of your dreams

you toy with the long stick of liquid eyeliner, biting the most sensitive part of your inner lip as you contemplate your next move. your eyes dart back to your own reflection, examining your usual makeup look that you'd just finished. is winged liner too much?

today is the first day of your new—dream—job. a job which before jessica campbell paved the way to woman leading jobs in the nhl, you never imagined you'd achieve...but here you are—in your bathroom, minus 1 hour until you needed to show your face at prudential center and contemplating if you wanted to add a small black wing on your eyelid.

you want to come off sophisticated and put together, and you can't decide if liner is the perfect way to showcase that...or the complete opposite. you look down to the drugstore branded stick, and with a rough sigh, you slot it back in your drawer—nestled between other coloured pencils you're always hesitant in using and a stack of blotting sheets you always forget to grab before heading out.

you leave your warm bathroom without another glance at the mess of makeup left on your bathroom counter, hastily making your way through the hallway and towards the kitchen—you still need to get your coffee ready. the sound of your feet padding along the hardwood has you cat, hazelnut, chirping sweetly, jumping off the back of the couch in favour of weaving through your legs.

you almost trip, and you curse gently. "hazy, baby, please—i'm nervous enough already? the last thing I need is to fall and break my nose beforehand."

she blinks her wide green eyes at you, and obviously that's as much as an answer you're going to get out of your sweet kitty. you sigh, carefully walking around her and to the previously brewed coffee pot. to keep with the professional vibe you're hoping to give off, you opt for a sleek black travel tumbler, filling it dangerously high with decaf—although the chances of you leaving it in your cup holder is so high, you could've chose a rangers branded tumbler and it wouldn't of really mattered.

you fasten the lid, turning and meeting the eyes of hazelnut—who's now sitting comfortably on your kitchen island, her striped tail wagging happily. you give your cat a nervous, closed lip smile. "wish me luck!"

and in some twisted way like your cat can understand you, she meows once, a slow blink of her eyes following. it has the nerves bubbling in your stomach settling down ever so slightly, and you finally feel like you can drag yourself out the house.

just before you open the door, you double back and speed walk back into your mess of a bathroom, pulling the top drawer back open and grabbing not only your blotting sheets, but the eyeliner as well—throwing them both into your purse.

the drive to the arena was filled with your own personal ferris wheel of nervous anticipation and self deprecation—accompanied by your cheesy pop playlist full of tate mcrae, the wicked broadway soundtrack, and everything in between. you're so focused on not only the road ahead, but with the thoughts of how you'll make the best impression on the men that you'll be helping coach.

the professional hockey players that you'll be coaching. it's so surreal, and just as exciting—so much so that you're not even positive it's completely sunk in, despite the butterflies in your stomach reminding you every single minute.

by the time you pull into the parking lot, you're only just realizing you left too early—the practically empty parking lot and time on your dashboard undeniable evidence as such. you turn off your engine, unbuckling your seatbelt with a deep breath. you fall back into your seat, attempting to get a grip on your sweaty limbs and racing heart.

"fuck it." you chime, digging through your purse while simultaneously flipping your visior down—the mirror lights shining in your face. you grab the eyeliner, and with another sigh, you begin lining your lashes, creating the smallest wing. you pull back, and surprisingly enough it looks really good—good choice, you think to yourself.

"okay," you smile, "now just the other side." talking to yourself has always been your favourite pass time, as clinically insane as that may seem. there's no friend—or critique—like yourself, and sometimes you needed you to tell yourself things—like the choice to bring your eyeliner for example...smart.

you drop the felt tip to the middle of your lid, and slowly begin dragging it outwards. you're pretty sure your tongue is poking out as a concentration method, and you can only hope none of your new team members are around to see the way your face is contorted.

a soccer ball smacks against your window, making you jump. the tip of your eyeliner follows the line of your face, a thick black line going all the way back to your hairline. "shit!"

shocked, and still flustered from the sudden scare you whip around to look through the driver's window in an attempt to see what the fuck just occurred. a battered soccer ball rolls away from your tires, back in the direction it came from. your eyes follow the pattern, slowly trailing the line until you're landing upon...oh it's a man.

a man who is jogging towards your car with a sheepish expression on his face. you open your door and quickly get out of the car just as the man stops in front of you—his guilty expression not yet letting up.

he's actually quite handsome, you think. beautiful tawny skin with a hint of dark stubble lining his sharp jaw and chin. he's also tall, like intimidatingly so—it has you feeling tiny in comparison.

"i'm so sorry," he starts, voice gravelly in a way that has your stomach swooping. "soccer has never been my sport of choice...for obvious reasons." the man gestures between the now still soccer ball and your open car door, a small, but hesitant grin taking over his face.

if you were angry before, you're not anymore—any remarks dying on your tongue at the sight of the attractive man in front of you. you clear your throat twice, blinking to regain focus—this is the last thing you needed to be thinking about on a day as big as this one. you're not sure exactly what to say, but you know the words that leave your mouth next aren't the right ones. "yeah, soccer sucks."

his eyes twinkle with amusement, his grin growing slightly. behind you, a small brunette with killer curves and a phone in her hands calls for him. "johnny, can you at least throw the ball back! i'm missing prime content—wait, luke come back!" the girl in question attempts getting luke hughes, an nhl player you're well familiar with, to participate in whatever video she's filming—clearly one that involves the soccer ball between you and johnny.

he picks up the ball before tossing it back in her direction, which another player who looks like dougie hamilton catches. johnny turns back to you, eyes following the black line on your face. "you've got makeup..." he trails off, gesturing to the area on his own face.

you gasp slightly, memories of only moments ago when you'd totally not only messed up your eyeliner, but your face makeup. "fuck," you curse hurriedly, darting back into your car and pulling the mirror as close to yourself as it can go. you're in an awkward position, half in your car while your ass juts out.

johnny clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he attempt to draw his eyes away from your backside—your ass and thighs that are perfectly hugged by the heather gray slacks you're wearing.

you lick your thumb, swiping the liner—but it only makes more of a mess. "double fuck." you pull yourself out of your car, turning back to the 6"5 god behind you. he's blushing now, eyes not quite meeting yours as he attempts to calm himself down—johnathan doesn't think he's ever been this turned on from dress pants in his life.

"do you have a napkin? or maybe some tissue?" you ask him, seemingly unaware of the tension in his shoulders and flickering gaze.

slowly, he shakes his head. "no, I don't, i'm sorry." his face falls as yours does. he hates the way your clear disappointment makes him feel...fuzzy. johnathan steps closer, his mouth opening as he tries to finds his wording. "but, I can help...If you want. ill just use the sleeve of my sweater, I can wet it and clean you up..." his eyes twinkle, an awkward chuckle leaving him. "you can even lick the sweater if you prefer."

you look up at him with what you can only describe as a combination of amusement and disbelief. johnny has already pulled his black sweatshirt over his fist, closing the distance between you with one large step. "you can lick it, I don't mind."

he's kind of relived that you don't want to lube up his sweater with your spit, because then johnathan would be really turned on. he nods, wetting the edge of his sweater before bringing it up to the side of your face, gently wiping away the mess of eyeliner smudged along there.

despite how odd this whole interaction is, you can't help but feel rather enamoured with the mystery man—a man who obviously plays for the new jersey devils, or at least works for them. but based on his stature and the size of his quads peeking out from his athletic shorts—you're thinking it's the former.

his eyes are filled with nothing but concentration as he wipes away the makeup off your skin, his sweater soft against the side of your face as he works. you watch as his tongue pokes out the corner of his lips as he focuses, and that has a smile blossoming on your face.

"okay," he begins quietly, using the other side of his sleeve to dry your skin. "you might want to double check that, but I got it all off—well, my sweater did." johnathan laughs that awkward rumble again, and you can't help the way it makes your heart leap.

so much for being professional.

"thanks." you hum, smile growing. "i'm y/n."

he breathes in something that feels like relief, shoulders dropping slightly as the tension he'd been feeling earlier begins dispersing. "johnathan."

your brows pull in confusion, but your grin stays. "that girl called you johnny, is that what you prefer I call you?"

"you can call me anything you want." the words slip from his tongue before he can think them through, and johnathan hates the way his cheeks flush at his own words—but he loves the way your cheeks do.

"okay," you hum, turning to grab your purse from the passenger seat of the car. you take a glance in your visior mirror, and surprisingly he did a really good job at fixing your makeup—the wing is a little wonky but all the men you'll soon be surrounded with won't notice...you hope. you stand up straight, shutting the car door with an echoing thump.

the parking lot has begun filling up, various hockey players and team members making their way inside—most participating in the game the admin girl had set up by the entrance.

"i'll call you johnny then." you hum lowly, adjusting your purse on your shoulder as you begin making your way towards the entrance doors—heels clicking the pavement as you do. considering you're actively meeting and speaking to one of the guys you'll be coaching, slapping on the faux confident personality came as second nature.

it's not that you weren't confident in your job ability to coach these professional athletes—you were more than prepared and qualified for such. but, you've never been super confident in your personal life, especially when it has to do with attractive men who you really shouldn't be forming an attraction for.

regardless, you glance over you shoulder—eyeing his frozen stature and slightly agape mouth accompanied with an amused, flushed expression. "you coming, johnny?"

your question seems to snap him out of whatever daze he'd been trapped in, blinking three times quick as he begins moving, catching up to you with two strides—honestly, screw tall men with their long limbs! or maybe you just want to actually screw them...you can't decipher that right now.

much to johnathan's dismay, as soon as you enter the building, you are swept away by a member of staff, leaving him to stand awkwardly by himself for a fleeting moment until he realizes what the fuck he's doing. before the devils on ice practice today, they'd all been called in early for what keefe and fitzgerald described as an 'introductory meeting'—whatever that means.

it's not long until he's walking through the threshold of the large room, finding most of his teammates and various members of staff already in there. some sitting and chatting, while others haven't yet taken a seat, but instead stand beside the long rectangle tables as they discuss whatever they might be discussing.

johnathan takes his seat beside brett pesce and curtis lazar, greeting his teammates with a closed lipped smile and quick nod, stretching his long legs out underneath the table. they make small talk as the rest of the team filters into the room, following suit and finding various spots throughout the room to take their seats.

it's not 10 minutes later that the head coach and general manager of the team join them—smiling politely as they come to a stop at the front of the meeting room. fitzgerald clears his throat, and although the room has begun quieting down at the authority figures presence, it completely silenced as he begins to speak. "thank you all for coming so early, we appreciate your time for such a special meeting."

special? johnathan thinks, frown tugging at his lips. what's so special about this meeting?

the GM continues, an easy expression on his sunkissed face. "as you know, we've been looking for a new fit for our open assistant coaching position behind the bench. sheldon and I wanted to make sure that this person was not only qualified, but was fun, exciting and above all knowledgeable...." he trails off, smile growing. "with that being said, id like to introduce you to our newest member of staff: assistant coach, y/n y/l/n."

it's then that johnathan notices you—you and your ridiculously faltering pants and sexy eyeliner. he swallows nervously, eyes darting around the room like he's done something wrong. he hasn't, so he's not sure by it feels that way. he should've known that you and your new, pretty face had something to do with the introduction meeting sprung on the team.

beside him, brett snickers. "how are we supposed to focus with that talking to us?" his words are hushed and slow, brett's eyes never once leaving your figure as you begin introducing yourself to the room.

that comment makes johnathan feel the upmost angry, and suddenly he feels very inclined to punch his defensive teammate in the jaw. but, he thankfully doesn't. what he does do though is narrow his gaze, shrugging his shoulders roughly. "learn."

johnathan doesn't wait for brett's reply before turning his attention towards you, catching the tail end of your introduction. he kind of feels like a sleaze anytime his eyes wander over your body, studying the curve of your hips and the round, full display of your breasts under your high necked cotton top. it also doesn't help that he knows what your ass looks like bent over, or how he knows that you smell like peaches doused in brown sugar—that he knows how your skin feels underneath his spit covered hoodie.

a low groan rumbles in johnathan’s chest—thankfully it’s not loud enough to draw the attention of any close teammates, because he really doesn’t want to explain that. subtly, he adjusts in his seat, palming his semi-hard bulge as if he's trying to tell his dick to cut it out. you're acting like such a douche, he thinks.

you stand on the other side of sheldon keefe, half listening as he goes over some minor details before the start of ice practice. you can't help the way your eyes wonder, analyzing the new faces of various players you'll soon be coaching. jack hughes, who looks tired and like he'd rather be anywhere else this morning. then there's curtis lazar, who is the complete opposite of the middle hughes brother—eyes wide and alert as he nods along to his head coach.

then like a magnetic pull, your eyes find johnathan's—or rather, johnny. he's not looking at sheldon like his table partners, but instead his gaze lingers on you. immediately you feel warm, interlocking eyes and not wanting to look away. the faintest smile pulls at the corners of his mouth, so faint that you're not sure if it's happening or if you're imagining it.

he's stupid hot. like so hot your entire body is on fire. it's dangerous and wrong—it's tempting. not only is he easy on the eyes, but he seems sweet and slightly awkward. which is the perfect combination to have you falling. subtly, you raise an eyebrow at him in silent question.

johnathan blinks, looking away from you. just before you can feel embarrassed about the situation or feel like you read him wrong, a more prominent smile pulls at his lips, eyes flickering back to yours in a fleeting moment.

you're in trouble.

for the entire time you're on the ice, even when you're going through drills and giving words of encouragement as well as discipline, you can't help but find johnathan through the sea of various faces staring at you.

it's truly like a magnetic force, and your body feels drawn to his—even though you've barley talked to the guy. you know interpersonal relationships with the athletes is frowned upon, especially when you're in a coaching position. the hiring staff made sure you were well aware of that before you were hired.

to which you told them it wouldn't be a problem—but now here you are, watching the sweat trickle down johnathan kovacevic's neck as he catches his breath with some other players next to you. and you're almost annoyed at yourself, because you really like this job, and the guys are all so welcoming and kind—well, to your face at least, and that's honestly all you can ask for.

you don't want to risk your dream job for some silly little heat of the moment crush—you can't. but as you get home a few hours and a tour of the arena later, snuggled on the couch with hazelnut beside you and a slice of cold leftover pizza in your hand—you're googling him. you dive into articles and video interviews that when he speaks in them, your belly twirls around in excitement.

but you know you're fucked when you start scrolling through his google pictures, mentally taking note of which ones are your favourites. your cat keeps giving you looks, like she knows you're doing something you shouldn't be.

but you just can't help it—stupid magnetic pull.

the next day comes with a little less stress, and a lot more excitement. you go through your morning routine with steady hands, and a content smile. todays schedule looks a little different than yesterdays, as today you'll actually be put to the test—coaching alongside keefe, colliton, and mcgill during a game.

you head to your local gym before lunch to get in a workout—hopefully burning all lingering nervous thoughts and energy out of your system. after a few hours out of the house, you make your way back home, feeding hazelnut some blueberry salmon treats before hopping into the shower.

as you dress yourself for the game, you don't contemplate anything—you know the exact outfit and makeup style you want and unlike yesterday you're leaving the black eyeliner behind. you're taking the mess up yesterday as a sign, and that you're better off looking professional without the black wing lining your eye. but then again, it's the reason you met johnathan—which, yeah you can't stop thinking about him.

but you can't start thinking about how you can't stop thinking about him or you'll spiral into a panic—which isn't ideal—so you're avoiding that itch in your brain for now. you make sure hazelnut has an appropriate portion of biscuits and water before heading out, driving to the arena.

it goes by in a bit of a blur, with various interviews and introductions that you needed to complete as the new assistant coach of the new jersey devils—which is still so surreal, and the cameras, athletes and smell of the ice rink is even more. soon enough the lights are dimming, and the beginning chords of the national anthem begin.

you try your best to stay straight faced and forward, but keeping your eyes from wandering is something you have no control over. the stands are packed, which is an electric feeling—but even with the buzz of the crowd and the various athletes in front of you, there's only one face you're seeking out.

your gaze lands on him, trailing over the number 8 on the side of his jersey and the tail end of his last name on the back. johnathan looks really good in red, you think—it complements his tan skin and dark hair almost perfectly. speaking of his hair, the curly locks are in a disarray, wet from the water he'd poured on his head during warmups, and frizzy from the towel he ran over his head afterwards.

he takes a deep breath, his cheeks puffing out as he exhales. johnathan shakes his limbs out before resting his chin on the end of his hockey stick. like he can feel your stare, his eyes flicker towards you, and your heart almost stops as your eyes lock.

he squints almost playfully, the smallest grin on his face as the anthem comes to a close. you blush, the overhead lights flickering back to life as the first period begins. johnathan fully turns in your direction, but his eyes find one of the trainers—calling for a fresh set of gloves.

the sleeves of his jersey are rolled up just enough for you to ogle his arms—veins under damp skin that look so tempting…you want to run your tongue along them. your breath hitches just as he catches the new gloves, eyes landing on you once more.

johnathan was well aware of your wandering eyes, not matter how subtle they were. it has him feeling giddy in the best way, and just before he takes his seat, he winks at you—so fast and soft that he's not even sure you've seen it.

but you did, and you force yourself to look away before you get caught. fuck the risk, you need him.

part2: wandering eyes and fluttering hearts

it's seems that the universe has plans for you and johnathan kovacevic—you can't tell if they’re positive or negative yet...but you know it's got something up its sleeve.

not only do you have to fight your urges to pounce on johnathan during work hours—like meetings, practices and games—but it also seems like you're running into him everywhere, and your desires for him are growing stronger every time you spot him out and about. whether he's letting his hand brush against your lower back as a playful greeting in the frozen isle of the grocery store, or seeing you in the lineup of a cafe and tapping his card before you have the chance to pay for yourself—none of it is helping.

johnathan is ridiculously kind, and an even better listener—you've learned such in the now two months you've been with the devils. where as some of the players aren't always friendly, and snap in frustration at you (even if they're not mad at you specifically), johnny was different. it's safe to say you've developed an embarrassing crush on a man who is technically below you on the professional scale. you know it's wrong, and you know you're his superior, but you can't help the way you feel—despite the ethics of it all.

and johnathan doesn't care either—he's been nonstop thinking about you since your wild, makeup smudged eyes met his through your cars window. everything about you is tempting and exhilarating, and he's not sure how much longer he'll be able to keep his hands to himself. the way you seem to look at him with a certain twinkle in your eye, and blush anytime he comes in close to ask you a question, isn't doing him any favours—it seems like most days end now with his large hand wrapped around his throbbing cock, stroking himself to relive the tension you bring him.

the best tension imaginable.

he's not sure what the rules are when it comes to interpersonal relationships within the nhl, but johnathan doesn't care because he'd be willing to never even look at a hockey puck again if it meant he got to kiss your lips even once—he's down bad.

just before your third month of employment with the devils, johnathan cracks. it's late at night, too late for him to still be awake when an early morning practice awaits him—but he can't find himself to sleep yet, not with thoughts of you running through his head.

the bottom of his phone rests against his bare chest as he thumbs through his list of contacts like he's on autopilot. johnathan pauses as he reaches your name, thumb halting on the gray contact icon. just the thought of your pretty lips framing your smile has his dick twitching in his pyjamas pants. johnathan sighs.

all the players had the coaching staffs numbers, so it's not like it was only johnathan who obtained your contact —so reaching out would be that crazy, right? he groans to himself, running his free hand through his tousled dark hair. johnathan only contemplates for a moment longer before opening a text thread. "fuck it."

he readjusts the cellphone in his hands, typing out a message. 'are you awake?'

johnathan clicks his tongue, deleting it before he can hit send. he shouldn't be giving into his temptation like this, especially as an athlete who practices control. it's too late, and probably too risky. he drops his phone to his chest, letting his eyes flicker shut—trying to calm his instincts.

his phone buzzes.

'hey' it's your number staring back at him—and he knows that because he's been memorizing the seven digits for the 25 minutes he's been contemplating texting you. but here you are, lighting up his lock screen with your simple greeting.

across the city, you lay in your own bed—too hot and too awake to focus on anything other than your phone. you gnaw your lip as you await for a reply—if johnathan is even awake to see it. you know there's a morning practice, and the chances of him even noticing your message tonight is slim. just as you plan on turning off your phone, it vibrates with an incoming message.

'is this a you up text?' you can practically hear his rumbly voice through his text, a smirk pulling at his tempting mouth.

you breathe a laugh—one that is tinged with nerves. you were risking a lot by sending that that message, and you're well aware of how much shit you could get in—but what's so wrong about a hello? your skin has been on fire for weeks at the mere thought of johnathan, and you're finally willing to do something about it. no matter what.

you quickly send a reply. 'is that what you're hoping for?'

johnathan re-reads your message three times, and each time his blush deepens, travelling down his taunt chest. 'not telling' he sends back, and before you have a chance to reply, he types another message. 'I was about to text you.'

you gulp gently, a million questions plaguing your mind. 'oh yeah? about what?'

at this point, johnathan knows he's in too deep to start acting coy and secretive now—there's no point of pretending he doesn't want you, no scratch that, need you. 'about having dinner thursday night. my place.' it was the perfect opportunity to spend time with you—thursday night had no games and no weird evening practice or meetings. it was free. for both of you.

you and johnathan both know having dinner somewhere out in jersey was too risky, because anybody could see you and put two and two together. the chances of getting caught by fans or teammates is too high. so him suggesting dinner at his place was making your belly spin—even though it was seemingly the bare minimum (but let's face it ladies, what man even gives the bare minimum anymore).

'if I say yes, can we order in ramen?' you tag a playful emoji on the end to showcase some playfulness. your eyes don't leave the bubbles that move along the bottom of your screen, a soft grin on your face as you wait.

'i'll order anything you want, y/n.'

it's two antagonizing days of anticipation, both you and johnathan doing your absolute best at acting as nonchalant as possible—pretending like you haven't been sending flirty texts and borderline risky snapchats to one another (an app that you both had to download because you're both acting like horny teenagers) for the last two days.

when thursday comes, you're practically buzzing with excitement. after a meeting in the late morning, you get home and take an extra hot and long shower—double washing your hair with an expensive shampoo, exfoliating and shaving every inch of your body.

you lounge around in your housecoat until you have to start getting ready—two hours before you're supposed to head to johnathan’s apartment. you opt for your usual makeup and natural hair, and you decide on your favourite jeans and black long sleeve—keeping it casual, but still cute.

hazelnut blinks at you from her spot on your closed toilet seat, a tiny purr leaving her stripped body. you pause the last flick of your mascara wand, eyeing your cat. "what? should I change?" she blinks again, and you smile like a crazy person. "you're right, I think it's perfect."

your cat chirps like she agrees, and it makes you laugh, coating your lashes in the final coat of your favourite mascara. "okay hazel baby," you start, eyeing your small collection of fragrances. "which perfume gives off i’m sophisticated but also I want to have sex vibes?"

her head cocks to the side, and you sigh. "sometimes I forgot you're not human," you reach out and give her a few affectionate pats. "johnny is going to be so surprised when he finds out I talk to my cat." you mutter to yourself, eyeing the perfumes once more. before you can overthink the decision and ultimately be late for your date, you spray yourself with your usual perfume—praying that it's a scent that johnathan loves.

the drive to his apartment only takes about 15 minutes, the traffic not too much considering it was an uneventful thursday evening. the security guard lets you through the gates after you told him you're a visitor—the sweet old man must've got a heads up from johnathan about your arrival.

you park in the first available spot, unbuckle your seatbelt and send him a message, 'i'm here, should I just come up?'

not even 10 seconds pass before he answers. 'i'm on my way down to get you' you smile as you read johnathan’s text, opening your car door and stepping out into the clean but stuffy parking garage. it's not a minute later you hear him call your name, the sound of his voice sending a pleasurable shiver down your spine. you grin as he approaches, "hey."

his smile mimics yours. "hey yourself." before he can decide against it, he pulls you into a quick, but sweet hug, squeezing your waist affectionately—and you go easily, your grin growing ever larger as your engulfed in his chest. he pulls back, "you look really nice...wow."

you watch as johnathan’s gaze wanders over your body, like he can't decide if he wants to undress you with his eyes or simply just admire you clothed. it has your belly swooping, anticipation tingling your body. "thanks, johnny." you hum lowly, taking the time to let your own gaze wander him.

johnathan looks so handsome—a crisp black shirt, and light wash jeans wrapping around his large thighs so deliciously. much to your embarrassment (or maybe your liking), he catches your stare, and a deep smile settles on his face at you clearly checking him out. "let's go upstairs."

you nod, slightly dazed and already turned on, letting him slide his fingers between yours and pull you in the direction of the elevator. the tension between you is undeniable, and the flirtatious glances you keep giving each other on the ride up to his floor are almost embarrassing. you're both so infatuated with one another, and you haven't even been close to kissing yet.

johnathan opens his apartment door, and the smell of soy sauce and steamed vegetables hit you—your stomach lowly rumbles and your mouth begins watering at the thought of food. he gestures for you to enter first, and he follows behind, shutting the door with a soft click. "the food was early, i've been keeping it warm in the oven—hope that's okay."

his apartment is really nice, with dark furniture and exposed brick. it's definitely a man cave, but not in a single, frat boy kind of way—but a sophisticated, busy manly way. you run your fingers over a dark green throw hanging over the back of the leather couch, a small playful grin pulling at your lips as you shoot him a look over your shoulder. "you know johnny, you're not supposed to leave the oven unattended."

he's in the kitchen, and because the apartment is mostly open concept—minus the bedroom—you can see him perfectly. johnathan opens the oven door, a breathy laugh leaving him as he takes out the various takeout containers. it's definitely not healthy for a professional athlete to be eating salty, delicious japanese cuisine, and if you were a meal specialist, you'd be frowning. but you're not! so you're not complaining.

"guess im just a risk taker." he hums, placing some of the ramen broth next to the cooked broccoli container—popping the lids off both.

you walk towards the island, leaning against the counter top to watch him work. you practically ogle his body as it moves—muscles shifting and contracting under his shirt so temptingly. you remove the lid off the spring bean take out container, a small grin on your face. "i'm hoping so ."

all the food is on the counter now, and that leaves johnathan to grab some dishes for the both of you—opening the cupboard beside the microwave and grabbing two sloped bowls and match plates. "are you always so confident?" he questions, placing them on the counter in front of you. he pulls open one of the drawers on his side of the island, pulling out two of each utensil. "like I don't know, you always seem to know exactly what to say...it's hot."

you blush, his compliment laying heavy on your heart. you take one of the bowls, loading some of the vegetable mix into it. "no actually, my confidence is mostly fake." he hums in surprise, spooning some beans into his bowl. you continue, "like i'm confident in my job, but when it comes to things like this—like you—I gotta fake it."

johnathan’s brows furrow while he contemplates which meat he wants in his ramen. "what?! like me? what does that mean?" he shoots you an amused look, before inevitably choosing beef and adding it into his bowl.

you laugh once, rounding the island to better reach the small styrofoam container of green onion. "yeah, I don't know you make me...feel things."

"what kind of things?" he questions lowly, the sound making your head spin. johnathan knows damn well what you're insinuating, and as soon as you say the words out loud, he may pounce.

you put some liquid into your bowl, completing the ramen bowl. you break apart one of the many pairs of chopsticks—there's enough food on the island to feed the entire team and some, so the twenty odd pairs of chopsticks don't come as a surprise. you twirl the utensils through the coil noodles, "i'll tell you later."

johnny barks a laugh, a nod following suit. "okay, fine." he watches as you bring the noodles to your mouth immediately, and he stops adding broth to his bowl. "just be careful cause it'll be really hot-"

his warning is cut short as you jump, your mouth hung open as you attempt to fan the hot food in—so hot that the steam is pouring from you like a dragon. "fuck, oh my god." you curse through the mouthful of burning noodles. you can't believe you didn't think to give it a minute before shoving the food in your mouth, and now it's so hot that you can't even chew the food without pain. you're left to only fan yourself and wait.

johnathan abandon’s his bowl on the counter, walking towards you in two quick strides. a curse falls from his mouth, "okay, hold still." he instructs you firmly, but yet softly—large hands enveloping your head as he holds your face. slowly, as if to not startle you, johnathan begins blowing into your mouth, his breath coming in fast bursts that help cool the food in your mouth.

he's so close to you and his touch is so gentle that you can't do anything but blink at him dreamily, watching as he cools the food in your mouth like it's nothing. a moment passes, and his blowing stops. "better?" johnathan questions, pulling back just enough to gauge your reaction.

you nod, slowly starting to chew the significantly less boiling hot noodles in your mouth. he smiles gently, and drops his hands from your face almost reluctantly—already he misses the warmth of your skin under his touch.

thankfully the rest of dinner goes smoothly, and you blow on every single bite loudly before attempting to put it past your lips—which has johnathan laughing in amusement, sometimes even joining in on cooling your food, which should not be so hot, but it is. you're almost tempted to burn your mouth again just so he will hold you and blow into your mouth once more.

you're not even surprised at how well you and johnathan vibe and communicate—somehow it just all makes sense, and that really doesn't help the crush you have for him. after finishing your two bowls of ramen and johnathan’s three, you both clean up, easy chatter flowing between you. it's refreshing, and feels so right—you almost forget that it's wrong. 

soon enough you find yourselves in his living space, sitting on the shaggy rug you claimed you needed to feel—your backs resting on the worn leather couch. you've got your knees bent towards your chest, balancing a wine glass between your two fingers and the top of your knee cap—looking over at johnathan as he laughs at the tail end of your story.

"okay wait," he smiles, eyes twinkling with the upmost amusement. "so your best friend just threw them on his lawn?" he questions, searching for confirmation that, yes, he did hear you correctly. he shifts, turning himself even further in your direction—so close that you can feel the heat of him against your side.

you nod, your own smile softly gracing your face. "yup, 20 boxes of instant mashed potatoes that turned into mush during the rainfall." he laughs once more, finding the story about your best friend and her revenge plan against her ex amusing.

"oh wow, remind me to never mess with her." johnathan teases, taking a sip of his mulberry wine. you follow suit, bringing the thin rim up to your lips and taking a gulp—the flavours spicing your tongue just the way you like. you've always had a hard time turning down wine, especially when a guy who looks like johnathan kovacevic is the one offering it. worse case, you'll just stay the night.

his eyes flicker with something you can't decipher, swallowing his sip of alcohol as he eyes you. "so what about you?"

you swallow, brows pulling in question. "what about me?"

"ever instant mash potato a guys lawn?" he asks with a tempting, playful smirk.

you laugh, placing your now empty wine glass on the rustic, chest style coffee table—the sound a gentle clink in the otherwise quiet apartment. you shake your head, "no, i'd be too scared of getting caught."

he purses his lips softly, brows coming together to create a small indent above his nose. johnathan hums quietly—the sound so charming you almost pass out. "I think you're braver than you think, y/n."

oh, you think—breath catching in your throat. johnathan’s eyes on you are too much, but somehow not enough. you can't decide where to look, your eyes darting all over his face to try and drink in as much of him as possible.

johnathan's breathing changes, his lungs working overtime like he can't quite catch his breath—the way you're looking at him having him feel nothing but breathless. his tongue swipes along his bottom lip, gaze finding your plump, wine stained lips.

he blinks, turning away to place his wineglass next to yours—there's a sip left in his, but he doesn't care to finish it. "you should probably go," johnathan mumbles, eyes finding your lips once more. "otherwise i'll end up doing something stupid like kissing you or..." he slowly trails off, taking a deep breath before he meets your wide, glossy eyes.

"or what?" you prompt, tone all hopeful and quiet.

johnathan hums deeply, the sound shooting signals straight down to your core—you clench your legs together to soothe the ache you've been feeling since you got here. he licks his lip again, slow and deliberate. "...or undressing you."

you almost whine—it's pathetic and johnathan finds it so unbelievably hot. you flush even deeper than the shade the wine has left you, and you slowly bring your lip into your mouth, nibbling on the edge. "maybe I want you to kiss me...and undress me."

he practically moans. "y/n...you can't say that unless you mean it." his words are almost like a warning—an out of the tension building between you. johnathan is giving you the opportunity to walk away, and not break the rules because of him—no matter how bad he wants you to. johnathan's fingers twitch as he desperately tries to keep to himself, watching you through half lidded eyes as he waits your response.

but you don't want an out—you want him. slowly, you shake your head, legs sliding down and away from your torso. the stretch is nice, but it does no favours for your throbbing core. "I wouldn't unless I did." you whisper, pushing up and onto your knees. gently, but confidently, you swing your leg over his lap and sit on him. johnathan's jaw goes slack, watching through his lustful gaze as you move.

he can't take it anymore—he needs to get his hands on you. johnathan's palms slide up the sides of your thighs, squeezing the flesh through your jeans. subconsciously you begin moving your hips, leisurely grinding your clothed core over his. your breath hitches, forehead resting against his. "I need you, johnny."

that's all it takes for johnathan to attach your lips together, kissing you like he's been wanting to since he first saw you. it's like your mouths are made for one another, perfectly moving and caressing and sliding around one another's like you've been doing it for years.

his hands slide to cup your ass, giving you a firm squeeze before he helps grind you over his clothed core—not once stopping the bruising, messy kiss you're engaged in. his lips feel so good it hurts, and if you were to die in that moment you wouldn't be upset. your hands card through his thick strands of hair, scratching his scalp in a way that his him sighing into your kiss.

suddenly, johnathan pulls away, leaving you to whine in disappointment. his glazed over eyes flicker open at the same time yours do—eyes locking. "i've been dreaming about this—about you." he says through heavy breathing, fingers flexing against your lower back.

"you have?" you ask through a moan, your covered clit perfectly sliding over his hardening length.

he nods, leaning in and pressing a hot kiss against your jawline. just when you think he'll stop, he moves farther down, littering kisses against the line of your jaw until he reaches your ear. "I want to please you." johnathan whispers before nipping at your lobe.

you sigh, pawing at the hem on his shirt. "please." you lift the item of clothing completely off, exposing the expanse of tan, defined muscles that you've only ever had glimpses of before this moment. you jaw goes slack, fingers absentmindedly racking down his pecks and abs. "oh my god, you're so hot."

he laughs once before kissing your lips firmly—a wordless thank you. johnathan's hands slip underneath your shirt, dragging it up and off your body like its second nature—leaving you in your polka dot bra. "shit, been dreaming of these too." he mutters, palming your tits. "you've been driving me crazy for weeks with these tits, baby."

all you can manage is a moan, hips moving on their own accord as you chase the tension building in your core. a whispered plea leaves you once again, and it has johnathan gripping your backside tightly and sifting you onto your back, skin melting into the soft, shaggy rug.

you exhale shakily, fingers fisting the carpet right next to your head as johnathan begins trailing kisses down your sternum, and further towards your belly button. "that feels good." you say, hips twitching under torso.

johnathan lifts his head, eyes twinkling with playfulness as he locks his gaze on your face. "can I taste you?" you nod eagerly, and his smirk shows once again—one of his hands fiddling with your button until it pops open. johnathan sits back on his heels, and you shiver at the lack of his body heat on top of you—but as he begins sliding your jeans down, exposing your damp paintes, you quickly forget about anything but that.

he shutters, licking along his lips as he locks in on your skimpy underwear. you bite onto your bottom lip, but your smirk isn't even hidden by that. "I need you so bad, johnny." the sight of your almost shy grin has him faltering, fingers itching to get you naked—and he does, hooking his fingers through your underwear and pulling them away from your wet core.

johnathan can't wait any longer, laying flat so his face is mere inches away from your throbbing pussy—licking his lips at the sight of your arousal pooling and slowly dripping onto his rug. "fuck, you're soaking wet for me, baby."

your hips jump upwards, desperate for some friction. you don't think you've ever been this turned on in your entire life, and for god sakes all you've done is a little amateur dry humping. johnathan's words further rile you up, and you can't help but whine out like a cat in heat.

"that noise," he breathes, spreading your legs even further apart with his large hands. "keep making it." johnathan doesn't give you a chance to answer before he's licking a firm strip up your folds, spreading your arousal with his tongue.

"oh...fuck." you curse, eyes fluttering with bliss and pleasure, johnathan repeating his movements in a lapid, expert manner. his long fingers flex on your thighs, digging into your flesh to continue holding you open—giving him the most range on pleasing you.

he sucks your clit into his mouth before swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud—a movement that has you approaching your peak quicker than expected. you breath hitches, nails digging into the rug. "oh, fuck i'm close."

johnathan moans against your clit before dipping back to your entrance, thrusting his tongue into your sopping hole—a squelching noise echoing through the room. he doesn't let up, and it has you reaching your peak, a frantic 'i'm cumming' leaving you in a hurry as your walls spasm on his tongue.

your ride our your orgasm while johnathan licks against your clit lazily, sending jitters through your body. it's ethereal, and so fucking good—you can't decide if you want to scream or sob. your eyes blink open, finding him hovering over you once more. "you okay?"

you hum blissfully, hands running over johnathan's arms and unapologetically squeezing and feeling his biceps. "better than okay." you watch him smirk briefly, his fingers tilting your chin up in an affectionate way before sliding back and caressing your jaw. and like the sex god he apparently is, his thumb parts your lips, rubbing along the surface before leaning in and kissing you.

you could be kissing for only 2 minutes, or it could be 20–time has completely slipped away from both you and johnathan as your lips move along one another. you can feel his hard length through his jeans, pressing against your thigh like a rock—you can also feel your own arousal building back up, dripping down your ass like you're some pornstar.

you disconnect your lips, pulling back just enough to talk. "I want you to fuck me." reaching towards his belt, you begin fiddling with the buckle, the metal clinking together as you unfasten it.

he kisses the corner of your mouth. "I must be dreaming."

you smile, tugging his zipper down. "you're not." johnathan assists you the rest of the way, briefly standing so he's able to completely rid of his jeans. just before he tugs his boxers down, he curses lightly—smile never wavering. "hold on, baby. need a condom."

you get the pleasure of watching him jog into his bathroom in the retrieval of protection—his ass looking mouthwatering under his fitted black briefs. without even thinking logically, your hands slide down your body until you're finding your wet folds, gathering your arousal and bringing it to your clit—circling the bundle slowly.

johnathan finds you like that, condom wrapper half torn in his hands. "you can't do that baby," he groans, "i'm already dying here."

you giggle, the sound broken by a moan at a powerful circle around yourself. your breath hitches, eyeing his almost completely naked body like you're an animal. "take your underwear off, johnny."

he's already in the process of removing the last article of clothing on himself as you ask, releasing his angry, heavy cock from the restraints of his briefs. the sight of him—the sheer size of him—has you gasping. johnathan drops back down between your legs, pulling the condom over his aching length.

you help guide him to your entrance, breathless as his tip brushes your slick folds. johnathan's eyes find yours, "you sure?"

too pent up to speak, you nod—eyes filled with nothing but need and aching, desperate to finally feel all of johnathan. and with that, he eases his entire length into you, stretching you perfectly—your walls molding around him like you're made for him. you let out a choked whine, watching his cock disappear into you. "oh fuck."

he bottoms out, balls resting against your ass—twitching as your gummy walls flutter over him. you can feel him in your stomach he's so deep and long—it feels like he's everywhere. "god, you feel so fucking good." johnathan babbles, already drunk on your pussy. he can't wait a moment longer, and begins thrusting, sliding in and out of your pussy easily due to your leaking arousal.

you're both so horny and worked up and only a few minutes of deep, passionate thrusts, messy kisses and hushed affirmations, that you're both growing close to your respective releases. you're whining like it's the only thing you know how to do, wrapping your thighs around johnathan's torso and he ruts into your hole—stabilizing yourself as best you can. it's a bit difficult when you feel like jello, but it's so good that you're not even caring.

"I can—oh fuck—can feel you fluttering baby, you gunna cum?" he breathes, the rhythm of his thrusts begin to falter as he nears his first orgasm of the evening. but he holds on, focusing on your spasming hole and pleasure pulled face.

you nod, jaw slack. "so close."

johnathan pushes even deeper into your pussy, which you didn’t think was possible, but he does it—tip kissing your cervix with every delicious rut into you. his hand finds yours, and he interlocks your fingers together—grounding not only himself but you to the moment.

"please don’t stop," you mewl desperately, grip tightening around his warm hand as you find the tipping point of your orgasm. "i'm cumming." and you do, walls clamping down on his cock as your reach another toe curling release.

johnathan's brows furrow in concentration as he focuses on your orgasming pussy, groaning as he thrusts into you three unrhythmic times. "holy shit, me too, fuck." his seed shoot into the latex, hot spurts of cum filling the condom wrapped around him.

you smile at the feeling, pressing a firm kiss against the front of johnathan's strong shoulder—nipping his skin with your teeth playfully.

he grins, still nestled in your warmth. "stay with me tonight."

you don't need to be asked twice, and soon enough you're being ushered into the spacious shower of johathan's apartment—the two of you washing one another in the most intimate, soft way. you're completely ruined for anyone else, and now you'll never be able to stay away from johnathan. the way he looks at you, dressing you in his clothes for bed while you're hair is still wet and face flushed—it's something you'll never forget.

you fuck again in bed, riding him slowly as breathy moans leave you both. you're not even fully naked this time, johnathan's college shirt pulled up and over your hips as he holds onto your love handles, helping you slide up and down his length. you both fall asleep in a breathless, tangled embrace—soft conversation and adorning smiles shared before you both let your eyes flutter closed.

part3: kiss it better

from that moment on you're pretty positive you're falling for johnathan kovacevic. the morning after your date, you both wake up frantically, afternoon practice sneaking up on you. just before you left, all tangled mess of hair and mascara stained eyes, johnathan grabbed your wrist gently, tugging you close to him. "can we do this again? I don't just mean the sex..I mean the dating and talking and everything in between."

to which you responded with, "yes please."

for the next few months you and johnathan find yourselves in a very secret relationship. you're going on dates late after games, lounging in his apartment or your apartment until you both fall asleep. hazelnut approves, and you think she likes your boyfriend more than she likes you. johnathan is always sending you flowers, and ordering you food when you're cranky—which obviously makes you emotional and clingy. you watch each other's favourite movies, and you're the queen of stealing his clothes. and oh my god the sex.

johnathan is like ridiculously good when it comes to pleasing you—kissing, sucking, licking and pounding all the right spots until you're on the verge of tears. sex with him is addicting, you don't think you had as much intercourse since like...ever—not even when you were a horny driven teenager.

johnathan will never get tired of your flushed skin and pulled face—jaw fallen slack while you whisper johnny over and over like a prayer. he is as obsessed with you as you are with him—if not more so. he's only had two serious girlfriends between meaningless hookups in his lifetime, and neither of them felt like this.

it has the both of you getting a little...risky, to say the least. your gazes linger on one another for just a second too long while you're at work, johnathan stands close while in huddles, and his fingers brush the back of your hand in passing almost every time—it's dangerous but neither of you can help it.

2 months into your forbidden romance, you're both dressing (in separate homes, unfortunately) for the new jersey devils charity gala—an event where everyone dressed in beautiful gowns and/or sharp suits to mingle, participate in raffles and raise money for charities.

johnathan was expecting you to look phenomenal based on the mere fact that you always do, but when you walked into the decorated rink, covered in a soft cream silk dress that dipped low down your back—leaving little to the imagination—he just about ripped it off you right in the middle of the bustling room.

you knew you were in trouble by the way your boyfriends gaze followed you throughout the first hour of the evening, tongue swiping his bottom lip or biting it in an attempt to not run over to you and destroy you. it also doesn't help that you want him to, god damn you feel like you're in heat looking at johnathan—standing with staff and teammates in a perfectly tailored suit, sipping some champagne like a slut.

so from across the room when he gestures for you to follow him, you listen easily. it's only a few antagonizing minutes later when your boyfriend is pulling you into a coat closet, lips finding yours instantly in a heated exchange.

"you look fucking edible." johnathan groans against your mouth, hands running over your body and squeezing your flesh through the silky dress. he nips at your jaw, igniting breathless laughter from your heaving chest.

you drag his face back to yours, pressing your lips to his once again. the kiss isn't only hot, but it's risky, especially in the closet that holds all the jackets and personable teams of team and staff members. but as johnathan drags your dress up one leg, slipping his hand underneath the cream silk—your mind goes blank. two long, strong fingers brush your exposed core, spreading the sticky wetness that's pooling between your folds.

he curses lowly, the tip of his middle finger prodding your entrance—but then, the door handle rattles, curtis lazar's voice growing louder as he begins opening the door. you and johnathan pull apart, jumping to opposite sides of the room and pretending to look busy—stifling through various coats and jackets.

thankfully, curtis saw nothing and is to aloof to the tension lingering between his teammate and assistant coach. from that moment, you and johnathan both know you need to get a grip, and if you're not careful, your reputation and relationship will be destroyed.

so with that in mind, you both make sure while you're at work, you're strangers. johnathan doesn't look at you, and you don't let your gaze linger on his. and this crisp tuesday evening, surrounded by thousands of fans packed into the prudential center, it'll be no different. you're his coach, and johnathan is strictly a player to you. period.

everything is normal—how it should be, really. well, everything expect the lingering turning in your stomach and heat warming your skin uncomfortably. you've not been feeling the best today, and there's been a constant queasy feeling in your belly since you got out of bed.

you've done your best to try and ignore it, brush it under the rug until it goes away—but it's proving to be persistent, and as the hours tick by your symptoms are getting worse. you know you probably should've called in, but you didn't—and now your feeling dizzy watching the players skate past the bench.

a deep exhale leaves your lungs, eyes darting to the foam covered floor beneath your feet. the crowd has your head pounding and ears ringing—this isn’t good. your stomach feels like a shaky roller coaster on the verge of turning upside down and ruining your day.

the lights are impossibly bright as you look back up, and that's when you know something is wrong. weakly and with dwindling vision, you shuffle closer to sheldon, subtly nudging his side. "I think i'm going to be sick."

his brows raise, turning his full attention to you—keeping his face neutral as to not raise suspicion. "you've been pale since you walked in here—please, go get checked out. i'm getting worried, and I don't need us to be distracted."

you attempt to laugh, but it comes across as a painfully hushed groan. sheldon gently guides you in the direction of the hallway, and into the arms of a medical staff member. after you tell ronald, said staff, what's going on he's shuffling you down the hall and to the direction of the medical room.

you don't make it inside before your knees give out, falling to the floor as you go unconscious.

johnathan skates back to his bench after a 1:30 shift, chest heaving as he desperately fights for air. he throws one gangly leg over the boards, followed by the other—but he freezes as he notices you're no longer present.

his brows furrow in a mixture of confusion and worry. you were there when he left the bench, and you seemed fine—a little pale and quiet but still ordering the team around like the confident, sexy woman you are. but now you're missing. johnathan tries not to show emotion on his face, but he can't help but to look over his shoulder every few minutes to see if you've returned.

by the time first intermission begins, you're still nowhere in sight. johnathan is glad nico brings attention to your sudden absence after keefe's speech, because johnathan is dying and anxious about not knowing your whereabouts.

"coach y/l/n left to get checked out by medical because she wasn't feeling good. i'm not sure of her condition but I understand she will not be coming back tonight."

sheldon's words have johnathan's stomach dropping down to his ass. before he has to head back out to the ice, he shoots you a quick text—letting you know that he'll be at yours after the game.

the rest of the game goes by in a flurry of anxious waves and painfully slow minutes. he can't get out of his gear quick enough, speeding through a shower so he's able to quicker get on the road—get home to his girl.

johnathan definitely breaks a few laws on the way to your place, but he can't help it—he knows nothing about your state, only the brief text of acknowledgment you sent him in response, and he’s started to get really fucking worried.

the doors unlocked, and johnathan kicks his dress shoes off beside one of hazelnuts feathery toys, walking into your silent apartment. he finds you on the couch, still in your work clothes. the door shutting had your eyes blinking open, vision slowly focusing just as your boyfriend kneels in front of you.

"hey baby," he mumbles, running his hands over your sweaty forehead. "what's wrong my girl?" his eyes flicker over your dewy, pale skin, a frown pulling on his face at the sight of your obvious discomfort and exhaustion.

your cat perks up at the sound of his voice, and immediately jumps off the back of the couch to run against johnathan's legs. you pout, "i've been feeling sick all day, and it just got worse. I didn't even make it to the medical room before passing out, johnny." tears begin gathering in your eyes, making clear vision even more impossible—you feel awful. "it was really scary."

instantly he's leaning down to kiss your head. "i'm sorry baby. did they give you some meds?" he asks against your hair.

you hum—the sound strained. "yeah. they're making me tired."

he fusses over you for a few moments longer, pressing comforting kisses to your damp face—but he doesn't want you to be in uncomfortable clothes for any longer. johnathan strips you of your clothes and quickly changes you into your favourite sweats before slipping behind you on the couch—pulling you into his chest.

you're kind of out of it and all you can really register is your boyfriends dark button up under your cheek, his hand rubbing your back and the sound of sex and the city playing from your tv. it's so numbing and relaxing that it quickly has you falling back to sleep, soft snores passing through your dry lips.

you wake up the next morning in your bed, eyes slowly focusing as you catch the sight of johnathan pulling his suit pants back on in your bedroom—the morning sun streaming the the cracks of your curtains.

"hey," you start, voice croaky. "what's going on?"

your boyfriend whips around in your direction, shoving one arm through his dress shirt. "hey, sorry I didn't want to wake you up." he rounds the mess of blankets half off the bed, kissing your head. "how was your sleep?"

"I don't even remember you getting here yesterday." you admit sheepishly, rubbing the sleep out of your eye. "I was so fucked up, god."

"it's okay," johnathan reassures you sweetly, buttoning up his shirt. "you really had me worried—you looked so sick."

you cough, a sickly dry sound that is a rough reminder of the illness lingering your body. but as you eye your boyfriend, seemingly getting ready for morning practice, has all thoughts of sickness leaving you—replaced with panic. "oh my god, i'm going to be late for practice."

you try and get out of bed, but johnathan is quicker—gently pushing you back to the pillows. "you're not going—I dealt with it all through your phone, okay. and I must say, keefe was rather relieved that you're taking the day."

"oh," you hum with a small grin, body naturally melting into your bed. "okay. you going now?"

johnathan nods. "yeah. gotta stop at home and change quick, but i'll be back later." he tosses last nights suit jacket over his shoulder, "need anything brought back?"

you smile, "just you."

he smirks all slow and syrupy down at you, cupping your cheek with his warm palm. "okay baby—can I have a kiss?"

you slap your hand over your lips—which are rather crusty and has you cringing. "I don't want to get you sick." you say, words muffled against your palm.

johnathan brows pull tightly, his smirk not letting up. "I don't care baby." his words have you faltering, dropping your hand and puckering your mouth for a kiss—which he happily obliges in giving you.

later while he's getting changed, pulling his shin pads on, he hears jack asks about your whereabouts beside him. johnathan isn't sure if he's just speaking out loud, or asking him directly—but he turns his full attention to the middle hughes brother. "she called in sick today."

jack kind of makes a curious face, one that says and how would you know that?

and the following day when johnathan doesn't come to the rink because he's sick...jack has the smallest inkling that he may know why the defence man knew about you're whereabouts.

part4: you’re made for me

you think your least favourite part about being on the road is the lonely feeling you get lying in an empty hotel room—left with only your thoughts and the hum of the heating unit.

it doesn't help that johnathan is in the same hotel…on the floor below you, and you can't even see him. you're not long back from the game, a win nonetheless, and the vegas night life is still buzzing in the street below. you knew some of the guys would be heading out for a few hours to enjoy the casinos—but you heard your boyfriend decline curtis' invitation.

so you know he's in his room—but wether his roommate is with him is unbeknownst to you. you miss him, and are in desperate need of hearing his voice. you hum, grabbing your phone off the charger beside you—thumbing your screen until his contact comes up.

you've got him saved under the soccer ball emoji—ever since you two started getting serious, you knew that having johnathan saved as his name was risky, especially when he had a habit of sending you toe-curling texts. and the same goes for your name on his phone, and instead of the previous use of your full name, he's replaced it with the name of your favourite tv show character.

hey, you send. are you alone?

a beat passes and then your phone begins to ring, the soccer ball emoji filling your screen as johnathan calls you. your grin, biting your lip as you slide over the answer button.

you lift your phone to your ear, excitement bubbling and settling deep in your belly.

"i'm alone." johnathan answers lowly, the slow smirk evident through his voice.

you sigh softly. "didn't want to go out tonight? celebrate the win? mr. two point night." your voice is playful, and kind of sexy—it has him already palming himself through his sweatpants.

a low groan leaves him, the sound leaving you flushed in the other line. you already can tell the turn this conversation is going to take, and you're not opposed to it one bit. he laughs, the sound doing a million things to you and your needy clit. "got those points for you, baby."

"whatever," you grin, hand slipping under your loose pyjamas shirt, resting on your lower belly—absentmindedly tickling just below your belly button.

"you okay?" this question is more serious, because above all else, johnathan cares for you, and if you're texting him, he wants to make sure nothing is wrong before he asks to see your boobs like a schoolboy.

you nod, and then remember he can't see you. "yeah, just miss you." you admit shamelessly, fingers dipping below the band of your sleep shorts. your breath hitches as the pads of your fingers brush over your folds, slipping through the wet mess that's been building since you picked up the phone.

the sound has johnathan groaning again, his own hand slipping under his sweatpants and finding his now rock hard and aching cock. he’s been thinking about this moment since he say your game day skirt—hugging your ass delightfully. he squeezes the base, igniting another strangled moan from his chest. "yeah?"

you hum lowly, teasing your entrance with your middle finger before trailing back to your bundle of nerves, circling yourself slowly. "I wish you were here."

a small curse leaves his lips. "what would you want me to do...if I was in your room right now?" johnathan questions, his large hand sliding up the entirety of his length, fisting the tip three times before coming back down to the base.

you inhale sharply, but you're breathless regardless. your thighs tighten around your slow moving hand, trapping yourself—your body reacting to your boyfriends words instinctively and leaving you overwhelmed already.

"don't be shy," he grins, squeezing himself. "i'm so fucking hard, baby—your voice is so sexy."

you whine helplessly, johnathan’s words pushing you into a flaming pit of lava—igniting your body in molten flames. "I'd want you to tease me, run your fingers over my soaked shorts until i'm begging you for more." you admit, cheeks flushing even deeper at your dirty words.

there's something so weird about phone sex, but with johnathan's breathing against your ear, and the throbbing between your legs, you're starting to feel very different about the idea. it’s exciting and so fucking hot—mostly because of your sexy boyfriend on the other line, prompting you.

he curses, pulling himself out of his sweatpants so that his cock is standing fully erect. he hisses at the air touching his sensitive skin, running the pad of his thumb over his leaking slit. "holy—fuck me—and then what baby?

"and then..." your breath hitches as you slip your middle finger into your wet entrance, your throbbing pussy sucking you in, down to your knuckle. "then i'd take you out of your pants, and lick up your shaft—slowly—before sucking the head of your cock just the way you like."

"i'm gunna facetime you, okay?"

your stomach drops in excitement. "okay." you slip out of yourself before completely removing your shorts, just as the incoming facetime lights up your phone. you answer it giddy, gnawing on your lip as johnathan's face fills your screen.

he smirks, eyeing your plump pink lips and rosy cheeks—the lust clear in your gaze. "you look so fucking pretty."

your smile grows, and even the way your teeth enclose around your bottom lip can't hide the fact. "johnny," you hum slowly, legs falling open to reveal your core to the empty hotel room. "I need to cum so bad."

he licks along his bottom lip. "set the phone up so I can see."

your vagina throbs pathetically, grabbing a pillow before leaning forward and resting your phone against it—the angle giving johnathan the perfect view of your glistening pussy, the outline of your perky nipples under your shirt and flushed face. he groans, stroking himself as he gets off the bed and moves towards the desk.

johnathan props his phone against the lamp, angling the camera so you're able to see his cock. "slip your pretty fingers in that pussy, baby. wanna see you fuck yourself like I would."

he watches your chest heave as you attempt to catch your breath, hand slipping down your covered stomach and back down through your soaking folds. with a moan, you ease your middle finger and ring finger in your entrance.

"fuck." you whine, head falling back as you begin moving your fingers shallowly, not quite thrusting into yourself, but not staying still either. the perfect amount of stimulation that has your toes curling.

johnathan's jaw goes slack at the sight of you and your hand—a ring of creamy arousal pooling at the base of your knuckles before dripping onto the bed. it's embarrassing how close he is to cumming, fucking his hand while he pretends it's your gooey walls enveloping him instead. "that feel good?" he asks, voice husky. "you're so sexy."

you lift your head, lips parted as breathless sighs leave you. "feels good—wish it was your fingers." a high-pitched whine bubbles from your throat, the palm of your hand rubbing against your clit perfectly. through lidded eyes, you watch johnathan. his abs clench as he fists himself, the smallest drop of pre-cum trialing down the underside of his delicious cock.

you gasp, orgasm hitting you in a white hot surprise, leaving you fluttering around your hand as your release drips off your fingers.

the sight has johnathan following suit, ropes of hot cum shooting from his head as his eyes train on your fluttering pussy and blissed out face.

a beat passes, both of your still working on coming down from your high and catching your breath. johnathan smirks all lazily at you through the screen. "I'm gonna fuck you so good once we get home, yeah?"

his promise has your core jumping all over again, and if johnathan has to fist his hand once more in the shower before bed—that's nobodies business expect yours (because obviously he sends you videos on snapchat).

thankfully the road trip is only two more days, and you get your hands on your boyfriend as soon as you're back in the enclosed walls of his apartment.

a few weeks pass since then, a whirlwind of games and practices that leave you holding your breath and clenching your thighs—you'll never get over how handsome johnathan looks all sweaty and damp, and it never fails in sending butterflies straight down to your pussy.

it seems like weeks until you get a free evening, but eventually it comes, and you take the opportunity for an at home date night—realistically the only ones you can have. johnathan cooks you mouthwatering pasta, and you get to watch him work over the stove from the kitchen island—checking out his back muscles over the rim of your wine glass.

anytime he catches you doing so, he pauses to lean over the island and give you a heart stopping kiss. it's romantic, and you think you may love him.

you eat your food next to one another on the couch, your feet tucked under his thigh while you watch she's all that. johnathan is the kind of boyfriend you dreamed of having since you were little—kind, compassionate, sexy, funny and a little awkward (plus a sex god, but 6 year old didn't know about that).

soon enough your empty bowls are abandoned, and you’re on his lap while your mouths move together. just before anything starts to escalate—johnathan's hands fiddling with your bra—a knock on the door pulls you apart.

"kovy?" an all too familiar voice calls on the other side of the door. "we know you're home. saw your car." we? as in plural? as in there's multiple of his teammates on the other side of the door?

you go stiff on johnathan's lap. "is that curtis?" you question wildly, words barley above a whisper.

he squeezes the flesh of your hips, nodding once. "and brett and erik." johnathan admits through his teeth. "i forgot they wanted me to come out tonight—someone's birthday."

one of them knocks again. "open up you little shit." the voice who sounds like brett laughs, sounding already a few drinks in.

"oh my god," you hiss, getting off johnathan's lap, pulling your discarded hoodie over your head. "oh my fucking god."

johnathan moves quickly, taking your empty bowls to the sink. "one second!" he calls in their direction, running a hand through his messy hair after wetting the dishes.

"are you fucking naked or something?" erik questions, leaning against the wall with an amused expression.

you hear curtis snicker. "he's probably jerking off."

your boyfriend looks at you, eyes full of guilt. "i'm so sorry baby, I totally forgot." he grabs your arms firmly, keeping your attention on him. "i'll get rid of them, okay? I promise."

you look almost scared—blinking up at him like everything is falling apart before your eyes. after all, you're a door away from being caught. "okay."

he nods, kissing the side of your pouting lips before guiding you to his bedroom. "just stay in here, okay? and if you hear me say watermelon, jump into the closet."

if you weren't so anxious you'd probably laugh. but obviously you don't laugh, sitting on the soft mattress as johnathan gives you one more hurried look, shutting his bedroom door with a soft click.

he quickly makes his way to the front door, pulling it open to reveal his three teammates—all of them with splitting grins on their faces. "we've been texting you, man! you forget about us?" brett grins, slapping johnathan's shoulder as the three of them walk into his apartment.

he chuckles awkwardly. "yeah, sorry—meant to text you but i'm not feeling up to going out tonight."

"boooooo," curtis drags out loudly, spinning on one of the bar stools like it's a carnival ride. "boring."

erik picks up the wine glass you left on the coffee table, a visible print of lipgloss on the rim. "you got a girl here, johnny?"

"no." he says all too quickly, face pale and red all at once. "I mean, not anymore. she left."

brett smirks, grabbing the glass out of erik's grip. he inspects the mark closer, that shit eating grin never leaving his face. "you know who wears lipgloss like this? coach y/l/n."

on the other side of the bedroom door, you feel like you're going to faint. you press your ear further against the wood, listening in.

the barstool squeaks under curtis' weight, a mixture of a disgruntled groan and laugh leaving him. "why do you know what kind of lipstick our coach wears? fucking weirdo." much to johnathan's delight, curtis' response has all three boys moving on from the marking on the wine glass. which, thank god because he had no clue how to respond to that observation.

erik eyes the ending scene of she's all that, a knowing grin on his face. "so if she's gone, you're gunna come out with us, right?"

"not really feeling it." johnathan reiterates with a shrug, subtly grabbing your keys off the counter and tucking them into his pocket.

brett groans like a naughty kid, sluggishly making his way back to the door. "fine—we'll let you beat off in peace." the other two follow suit, sending johnathan snarky little grins as they leave.

he rolls his eyes, a tiny grin pulling at his lips. "whatever—have fun." as soon as johnathan can't hear his teammates loud voices anymore, he's shutting the door and flicking the lock. he bounds back to the bedroom, and you pull open the threshold before he has the chance—your eyes wide with unshed emotion and stress.

it has johnathan feeling nothing but guilt, and he wastes no time wrapping you in his arms. "are you okay?"

you nod, but then stop. "no. I thought we were fucked—especially with the lipgloss, oh my god johnny."

he kisses your head three times, each one longer than the last. you sigh into him, letting johnathan hold you like the delicate flower you feel you are in that moment.

you hate this feeling—because secretive behaviour makes you feel dirty. and with the secret you're keeping, you're much more than just dirty. you're breaking the rules, and risking not only your job, but johnathan's. the last thing you want to do is ruin his reputation—you fucking love him for fucks sake.

it’s not even about you anymore. because for him, you’d leave everything if it meant being with him. but you know johnathan, and he would never let you give up your job for him—ever. but you can’t keep going around like this, it’s running you.

you pull back, swallowing roughly as you drop your arms from around his waist. “we can’t do this anymore.”

he freezes. “what do you mean? can’t do what?”

you blink. “johnny…” your voice is laced with a knowing edge, because you know johnathan knows exactly what you mean—you can see it on his face. you look away, as you can’t bare to look at him any longer, it may kill you otherwise. “if we keep sneaking around, it’s going to end badly—it almost blew up in our face tonight.”

his brows furrow, cupping your face firmly so that you have no choice but to look into those eyes you love so much. “but I didn’t-It won’t if we do this right.” a rough swallow makes his adam’s apple jump, looking over your face like he can’t decide where to go. “tell me what I can do to change your mind.”

a tear falls down the round of your cheek, and the sight stabs him right in the chest. you shake your head, licking the salty water off your cupids bow. “I just…I think we need to stop.”

his hands fall from your face, and he runs them through his hair—pulling at his root until it hurts. johnathan respects you, and he loves you—even if he thinks you don’t love him in this moment. he will fulfill any wish you ask of him, and he’d do it with a smile, because you’re the most important thing in the world. so he nods firmly. “okay. if you want to stop, we’ll stop. I don’t care what’s happening. all I care about is you.”

you nod—too many emotions lodged in your throat to speak. johnathan reluctantly hands you your keys, your fluffy keychain tickling his skin for the last time. you pluck your purse that’s wedged between the pillow and side of the couch, slinging it over your shoulder before making your way to the door, leaving without another look in johnathan kovacevic’s direction.

part5: love looks pretty on you

as soon as you get back to your place you break down in embarrassing sobs—falling onto the couch while hazelnut licks your chin. although you think she just likes the taste of your tears, rather than it being a comforting thing, but you pretend it’s the latter.

as much as it hurts you and you regret it, you know breaking things off with johnathan was the right choice. you don’t want to burden him, or hold him back—you can’t be that girl. so as much as you want to call him and tell him you’ve changed your mind, you don’t. it’s for the better, even if you have a hard time believing it right now.

the next week is nothing short of painful. you can feel johnathan’s eyes on you constantly, but you’re strong in ignoring him—going about your drills like he’s just another face in the crowd. if keefe notices something is up with you, he doesn’t say anything. which honestly seems worse than if he was to ask.

johnathan is no better. he’s slacking on the ice, and it’s showing even during practice—slow and uncertain and clearly distracted. he can’t stop thinking about you, or looking at you. johnathan cant help but think about all the things he wish he said to you, before you ended it.

how he’ll always care for you. how he’d quit hockey for you if that’s what you wanted. how he’s never felt about someone the way he feels for you. that he loves you.

it’s lonely without you. he misses your laugh and your smile and the way you kiss his peck every morning when you wake up. johnathan even misses hazelnut and her persistent chirping.

he so desperately wants to get you back. show up on your doorstep with flowers and a speech that would probably make you cry. but he doesn’t do that—because it would go against your wishes, and break whatever trust you put in him. it’s killing him, and he can only hope you’re happy.

—

you’re lingering with the uneasy feelings that come with a loss, tossing your purse on the counter before kicking off your heels. although the loss was a team issue, you can’t help but remember how johnathan was -5 tonight, and how exhausted and defeated he looked the entire game.

you can’t help but speculate—scratch that, there’s no speculation. you know it’s because of your breakup, and that makes you feel really shitty. if it’s still affecting him this much, hell if its still affecting you this much, you can’t help but think it was the wrong choice to make.

months of a healthy relationship down the drain for…what? because you were scared? that’s not you. johnathan brought out the best in you, he listened and cared for you like nobody before. in jersey, you’re alone. no friends or family close by to talk to or spend time with, only hazelnut. but with johnathan you had family. and you fucking threw it away.

your eyes flicker to the clock on the microwave. it’s almost midnight. you take your bottom lip between your teeth, contemplating your next actions. are you really about to do this? show up to your exs door and what? apologize? beg for him back?

you don’t know. but you know you love him, and you think letting him go forever will be the worse decision of your life.

coaching is a dream job. working with athletes in such an authoritative manner is a dream—it was your dream. but you have a new dream, and his name is johnathan. and if there’s one thing you’ve always lived by, it’s that to never give up on your dreams, especially for someone else. but that’s not what you’re doing—your dream has shifted, and you’re following its path in hopes of fulfillment.

before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re slipping on the first pair of shoes you see—a pair of heart print sandals that aren’t appropriate for the spring chill. you grab your keys and nothing else, getting into your car and following the familiar route to johnathan’s apartment.

the doorman recognizes you by now, and he lets you in with a smile. you’re anxious on the way up the elevator, a million things to say running through your mind—but as the doors open on johnathan’s floor, your head goes blank.

you force yourself to knock, a quiet sound that is barley heard from the bedroom at the back of the apartment…but johnathan hears it. he trudges over to the front door, nothing but a black hoodie and his boxers on.

as soon as the door is pulled open, revealing you in summer shoes and your game day pant suit from the game, johnathan is exhaling lowly. his eyes dart around your face, analyzing you. “you okay?”

your stomach clenches. he’s so fucking caring. “you’re my dream, johnny.” you blurt out, definitely too loud for this time of night.

his brows furrow, like he’s not sure what you mean. and fair enough, you think, because what does that mean? you continue shakily, “I love you. so much that it actually hurts. I would give up everything if it meant being with you forever—and I know you’d never let me, because you care about me and my dream. that’s why I ended things, as stupid as that sounds, because I didn’t want to put you in that situation. I didn’t want you doing something crazy like requesting a trade or fucking retiring early so that I could work for the team—because I knew you would do it.”

you swallow, but your mouth is so dry it almost hurts. “but you’re not going to let me forget about my dream, johnny—because you are my new dream. and if you love me, you’ll let me live with my new dream. being with you is all I need.”

johnathan shakes his head in amused disbelief, the faintest grin tugging at his mouth. “c’mere.” he mumbles, fingers wrapping around your wrist and pulling you into his apartment—only lit up by the lamp next to the tv. “you love me?” he asks, fingers leaving your wrist in favour of tucking some loose hair behind your ear—the strands that have escaped your once tight braid.

you nod all too quickly, “so much. i’m sorry.”

johnathan’s smile deepens, cupping your face like he’s done hundreds of times. “it’s okay, baby. I don’t care that you ended things with me—well, yes I care because I love you too—but if that’s what you needed in that moment, I would give it to you over and over again. even if it killed me.” he wets his bottom lip, looking deep into your watery eyes. “are you sure?”

there’s not hesitation in your words—there never has been with johnathan. “positive.” you nuzzle into his palm, “I love you so much.”

he leans in close, lips brushing yours. “I love you.”

and as he leans in and kisses you, you know that everything will work itself out. you’re not worried about the outcome, or what the future holds for your position with the team, but as long as you have johnny to come home to—it doesn’t matter.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

playlist

glitch by taylor swift

stuttering by jack & jack

cry your heart out by adele

fantasy by mariah carey

love looks pretty on you by nessa barrett

sports car by tate mcrae

babydoll by dominic fike

[multific]

A Still Life in Love

Emperor Geta x Reader

Summary: What better way to capture someone's likeness than a painting?

Geta, one of the twin rulers of the Roman Empire.

He sat in complete silence, his gaze focused on every petition brought before him.

To his senators and generals, he was a ruthless man.

He and his brother roughly enjoyed games, blood and wine.

Whispers of their coldness echoed through the palace halls, and yet none dared question their authority.

But you knew another side of Geta, a side he showed only to you and on occasion to his brother.

When the court adjourned for the day, he rushed back to his chambers, ready for some time alone with you, his wife.

You entered his chambers with a soft knock not long after him.

“Amor,” As his eyes met yours, he smiled. “I’ve been waiting to see you finally.”

You stepped into the room, Geta stood and closed the distance between you, his hand reaching for yours. “How was your day?” you asked.

He sighed, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Tired as ever. I am tired of the fools who believe they can outsmart me. But you brighten even my darkest hours.”

Moments like these were rare treasures.

The love he had for you was there in every smile, every touch, and every word spoken.

It was this love that inspired him to commission a portrait of you.

It was something that left you speechless. Just how serious he was when it came to you.

The painter was summoned weeks later, an acclaimed artist from Gaul.

His skill was unmatched, but he quickly learned that the challenge wouldn’t be capturing your beauty.

It would be dealing with the Emperor himself.

“You will make her radiant. No brushstroke will do her justice, but you will try. If you do not do as you are told...”

The artist nodded quickly, his hands trembling as he set down his materials.

You hid a smile, watching as Geta stood over him like a hawk.

The moment the painter raised his brush, Geta’s voice cut through the silence. Almost making the artist jump out of his skin.

“Do not forget the light in her eyes. It’s the first thing I noticed about her.”

“Geta,” you said gently, “Let him work, please.”

He exhaled sharply and took a step back.

But instead of leaving, he found a seat near the window, his gaze on you. “I will stay. This is important.”

And so began the sittings, each more revealing than the last.

The painter didn't dare complain about Geta’s interruptions, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be annoyed.

You actually found it quite adorable.

The Emperor of Rome, a man feared by millions, sat still, his focus on you.

One afternoon, as the painter adjusted his palette, you noticed Geta watching you with something in his eyes. It made you feel a bit shy.  

“Why are you looking at me that way?” you asked, half-teasing.

He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Because you’re mine. And because I want the world to see you as I do. Perfect, irreplaceable, and breathtaking.”

“Perfect, am I? Even when I argue with you?”

A low chuckle escaped him. “Especially then. Your fire reminds me that I’ve married a woman, not a shadow.”

The painter cleared his throat awkwardly, and you turned back to your pose, pushing down a laugh. Geta remained seated, his attention solely on you the artist continued.

Days turned into weeks, and the portrait was almost completed.

Geta’s pride in the work was noticeable. “Will you look?”

“Not until it’s finished,” you replied. You were actually interested in how he saw you.

And this portrait would be a perfect representation of his love for you.

He frowned slightly, but you kissed his cheek, hoping to ease his disappointment. “Patience, My Love.”

When the day finally came to unveil the portrait, Geta was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

You stood beside him as the velvet cloth was removed, revealing the masterpiece.

The artist had captured not just your likeness but the warmth and intelligence in your eyes.

In the painting, the traits Geta cherished most were the most permanent.

Your breath hitched. “It’s beautiful.”

“No, you’re beautiful. This is but a shadow of the truth.”

The artist, sensing his dismissal, quickly gathered his belongings and ran. Too afraid to become the next feast for Geta's beloved tigers.

As the door closed, Geta turned to you fully. “Do you see now why I insisted on this? I wanted the world to know the woman who owns my heart.”

“Geta, I’m just me.”

“You are everything,” he pulled you into his arms.

His lips brushed your forehead, then your cheek, before capturing your lips in a kiss that spoke louder than any word.

The portrait was placed in the grand hall.

Geta insisted that everyone who was walking the hall must see it.

But in Geta’s eyes, no painting could ever compare to the reality of having you by his side.

For the Emperor who ruled with his brother, you were his only beauty, his greatest treasure.

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

Wattpad

/DO NOT TRANSLATE, STEAL OR REPOST ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

[goddamnitmahtin]

dc x dp idea 3

Ok ok ok I don’t know if anyone has done this before. But like mad scientist x attachment ghost au. BUT it’s reverse. So instead of Danny being the dead one in this situation, it’s Tim. I don’t know how Tim would have died but it’s when he’s in his late 20s and Danny is a mechanical engineer at WE, his haunt.

Now in this AU Danny is still a halfa and he even became ghost king. But this isn’t the universe he came from and here? He’s nothing more than a very tired engineer with some meta abilities (floating, eyes glowing, just enough of his ice powers to be able to make sure his whiskey is always on the rocks). But the thing about being ghost king? It makes you immortal. Even when you’re taking a vacation in another universe.

Upon finding out the ghost king starts working at his haunt, Tim finds himself a new obsession. Danny. He can’t get enough of this nerdy guy and the amount of things he could learn from the ghost king himself? Tim is foaming at the mouth! Ugh he just HAD to be everywhere this man went! Tim was even considering making himself an attachment ghost just so he could follow him around outside of work (like Danny ever actually left).

So imagine if you will.

Danny being the only one who can see Tim as he pokes and prods him all day everyday while he works.

“If your the ghost king why are you in this dimension working for WE?”

“Ooh what does space look like?”

“Could I ethically haunt your computer?”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Tell me Danny, does every ghost see the cosmos in your eyes or is it just me?”

“What are you working on anyways?”

“Did you know when I was alive, I used to fight crime?”

“Hey Danny, how old are you for real? I know you aren’t actually 27 since you’ve claimed to be 27 for the past 9 years you’ve worked here and you don’t age. Is that a Ghost King thing?”

“Did you know that Gotham used to be chock full of super villains? Most of them are retired now but back in the day? WOW was it a lot of fun to punch that clown in the nose.”

“Hey Danny, how much ectoplasm would it take to make me corporeal? I don’t wanna be, I just think it’s a cool experiment.”

“Did you know that when I was alive, some fucker took my spleen and kept it in a jar for funsies?”

“My brother Jason died twice you know. Was he like, one of your subjects after the first time or did he get a free pass?”

“What’s your favorite food?”

“Have you ever been to Batburger? Is Batburger still a thing?”

“I used to be the CEO of this place, did you know that?”

“Hey Danny! Do I get cool ghost powers too if I marry you?”

“What are the Infinite Realms like? Is it cool?”

“Hey Danny, I went through your company file and I was wondering why you changed your last name to Nightingale? Is that an artistic choice?”

One day, Danny just snaps and has a full on argument with what all his coworkers on the night shift think is pure air, “WHAT WERE YOU, A STALKER WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE?!”

Tim smiles a toothy grin, “YES! AWWWW DANNY YOU DO LISTEN WHEN I TALK! Oh by the way, if you don’t fix that gear, the system is gonna blow.”

Danny does end up fixing it in time but still.

Anywho…. Tim slowly grows on Danny and after Danny has to leave the dimension because he’s gone too long without aging and his boss is getting suspicious, he decides, fuck it. He might as well take his ghost with him. Maybe he will get powers if he married him. Only one way for find out right?

[xspeter]

episode one: the vanishing of will byers

˚✧˚. summary: your brother goes missing, Tommy H gets what he deserves, and Mike Wheeler drags you into something downright strange

wc: 6.1k

m.list

notes: hi!!! this is the first chapter of my own rewrite :). i’ve always loved reading stories where you actually go on the adventures with the characters, so i figured why not do it myself? as i’m sure all of you know, im not the best at keeping up with my own stories… so please bare with me!

Your job at Karma Records isn’t very hard, especially since your job just consists of stacking and organizing records and that’s pretty much it. You glance at the clock on the wall, and you sighed as you realized it was already 10:30. The store closed thirty minutes ago, but you stopped getting any customers before the sun had even fully set.

You usually made it a rule not to work late, especially on nights where Will would be home alone. Tonight though was one of the rare nights where Jonathon would be home before you, so you figured there wasn’t any harm in picking up a few extra hours. Especially since you knew your mom could use the extra help. Even though she thought she was good at hiding your financial struggles, you and Jonathon had always known.

“Hey, you ready to lock up?” Your friend, Conner, asks you, his glasses nearly falling off of his nose as he leans against the front counter to look at you. You nod, stretching your arms over your head, your eyes squeeze shut and you let out a relieved moan when your arms slap back down to your thighs. Conner gives you a thumbs up, his blonde hair falling over his eyes a bit as he stands to his full height. Conner is tall, that much is obvious, he has been ever since you were kids and you’d met at the softball field.

“I’ve just gotta finish sweeping up the backroom, but you can go ahead and go.” He says, already beginning to walk away from you.

Your eyebrows furrow as you shrug your jacket on, “Are you sure? I really don’t mind helping you.”

Conner nods, “Yeah, I know, but Will and Jonathon are waiting for you, and you want to get home before your mom right?” He says the last part teasingly, knowing it was technically against your moms rules for you to work late.

You roll your eyes, “Whatever, it’s not like Will is home alone, Jon is there! And, I mean, seriously, I feel bad leaving you here alone, Conny.”

Conner just shakes his head, walking over to you and practically pushing you out the door. “Go home!” He insists. You can’t help but giggle at his antics, finally agreeing.

You sigh as you walk out of the store. You wrap your jacket tighter around yourself as you make the short trek to your car. November in Indiana wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t snowy like it usually was in January, it was more an uncomfortable dry cold. The kind of cold that almost hurt your lungs if you breathed in too hard.

As you walked to your car, you couldn't help but feel almost uncomfortable. You were on one of the main streets in Hawkins, surrounded by stores and streetlights, but you couldn’t help the feeling that you weren’t alone. You glanced behind you, thinking maybe Conner was watching you through the store's glass doors, but he’s not there. Still, the feeling persists.

You swallow, grateful as you finally reach your red ford. The car had been a hand-me down from your dad, the first and only nice thing he’d ever given you. You assumed it was to make up for all of the bullshit he put your family through, but it was going to take more than a car to make you forgive him.

The feeling still lingered even as you pulled out of the parking lot, and you couldn’t help but wonder if something very bad was going to happen.

-

Your twin brother had always been an expert on breakfast foods. You wondered if it was because he’d had to learn considering your lack in cooking skills, or if it was because your mom always burnt pancakes and her eggs were always a bit too watery. Either way, you can’t help the way you inhale the smell of the eggs he’s making, sipping on your coffee at the dining table.

You can hear your mom frantically getting ready, more than likely looking for her keys, which you could see on the table in front of you. “Jonathon, Y/N! Have you seen my keys?” She cries as she suddenly bursts into the kitchen, her eyebrows furrowed.

Jonathon sighs as he continues making breakfast, “Check the couch!” He says, but she just groans. “I already did!” She insists.

You grab the keys off the table, placing your mug down as you walk over to where she’s searching between the cushions. “They’re right here, Mom.”You say, holding them out to her like a prize.

“Oh,” She says relieved, “Thank you, Sweet girl.”

You just hum, going back to where you were sitting at the table. “Are you almost done, Jon?” You ask impatiently, barely able to ignore the grumbling in your stomach. Jonathon just rolls his eyes, “I would be if you’d quit nagging me.” He says, though you know he’s just teasing you.

“Okay, I’m leaving for work,” Your Mom says, leaving a kiss on your head and heading for Jonathon, but she stops in her tracks when she notices the empty chair at the dining table. “Where’s Will?”

You wince, realizing you’d been so focused on your hunger you’d completely forgotten to get him up. “I haven’t gotten him up yet.”

Her head falls back in a groan, “You have to make sure he’s up!” She says, beginning to practically speed walk towards your younger brother's room. You sigh, and you can’t help but feel a bit guilty at making her day harder. “I’ve told you this a thousand times.”

You share a look with Jonathon, when you were Will’s age you were both getting yourselves up, and sometimes you thought maybe it was time Will did the same. “Sorry, mom!” You call down into the hallway, though you doubt she even processes what you said in her hurry.

You grin as you hear the toaster pop, and Jonathon silently places your plate in front of you. You go to immediately dig in, a hum leaving your lips. Your family had always called you a human garbage disposal, because you loved to eat. It was pretty much your love language.

Your mom came back into the room anxiously, a strange look on her face. You’d seen her look worried before, but this felt different. “Will came home last night, right?”

You looked to Jonathon for confirmation, who looked to you. “I- I don’t know, Y/N was home before me last night.” He says. You immediately shook your head, eyes widening a bit. “What? No, I wasn’t. I worked late last night. I thought you got off at eight?”

Jonathon swallowed, “Eric asked me to cover for him last night, and I figured we could use the extra money.”

You can’t help the way your heart drops at the realization that neither you or Jonathon had been home last night. But, surely he had just stayed the night with Mike. This was Hawkins, nothing bad ever happens in Hawkins.

Your mom rubs the bridge of her nose exasperatedly, her eyes squeezing shut. “Guys, we’ve talked about this. You can’t- can’t take shifts when I’m working!”

You swallow, “I’m sorry Mom, I just- it was just a misunderstanding.” Jonathon nods in agreement, leaning against the chair next to you. “He was at the Wheelers all day. I'm sure he just stayed the night.” You feel a bit relieved that Jonathon points this out, because where else would he be?

“I can’t believe you guys,” She mutters, walking towards the phone. “Unbelievable.” You sigh, knowing it was better to let her be angry then try and argue with her, especially when she was right.

You pick at your fingernails anxiously as she calls The Wheelers, that awful feeling from last night creeping back into your stomach, creating an endless pit. It wasn’t uncommon for Will to stay the night at his friends' houses on school nights, but he always made sure it was okay at least a week in advance. He was cautious like that, it was something you loved about him. How careful he was.

That’s why your heart skips a beat when she hangs up the phone, and she doesn’t look any bit relieved.

You and Jonathon spend the entire morning in silence, the both of you entirely too anxious to attempt any kind of small talk. Your mom had called and informed you that Will was not at school or at the arcade or at any of his friends or even at that diner he strangely loves so much. She’d said she was going to file a missing persons report, which still felt entirely impossible.

There was no way Will was actually missing. He was at Mikes all day yesterday! It’s only a ten minute bike from The Wheelers to your house, and Will is cautious. He is careful and he is safe and he knows better than to stray off the route you’d shown him years ago. It seemed entirely impossible that anything could’ve happened in that ten minutes.

You glance to where Jonathon sits next to you on the couch, his expression blank. You swallow, blinking a few times. “He’s fine, right?” You murmur, the first words spoken between the two of you in over an hour. “He just got lost in the woods. We- We’ll find him by tonight, right?” Your eyes begin to fill with an onset of tears, the first of the day.

Jonathon doesn’t say anything, he barely even spares you a glance, and you can’t say you don’t expect it. This is what had happened when your dad had left, he’d gone entirely mute for hours. At the time you’d been annoyed by it, you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that he wouldn’t say a word, not even when you begged him to talk to you. Will had been so young at the time, he didn’t even really understand what was going on. You’re partially grateful for that, you’d rather he grew up without ever remembering what it was like with your father than to have to experience living with him.

Before you can stop it, tears begin to roll down your cheeks, hot and heavy and all too familiar. You can feel your hands shaking from where they sit on your lap, your vision becoming blurred and lower lip wobbling uncontrollably.

This wasn’t real, there wasn’t any way. There has to be a rational explanation for this. This was Hawkins for crying out loud! What’re the chances that the one awful thing to happen in this town happens to your family? Your happy, loving family?

A warm embrace of your shaking hands pulls you from your thoughts, and that’s when you notice that Jonathon is crying too. He isn’t saying anything, and he still isn’t looking at you, but he’s holding your hand. You tighten your fingers around his, place your head on his shoulder, and weep.

For now, this was enough.

-

“Will!”

Your voice is most definitely hoarse by the third hour of you doing this, screaming for your baby brother to no avail. Will hasn’t responded once, and you’re no closer to finding him than you were three hours ago.

Your mom had returned home with… the report. You couldn’t bring yourself to say what it really was anymore, especially not after seeing it in person. It just made it feel too real, and some part of you still believed this was some awful nightmare.

Deep in the woods, you could hear your mom and brother screaming for him, their voices hoarse just like yours. This part of the woods wasn’t new or unfamiliar to you, in fact you knew it like the back of your hand. Castle Byers stood tall and proud in the tiniest clearing, made of wood and covered by a blue tarp. You remember helping Will and Jonathon build it, or, more like you and Jonathon built it and Will just watched in astonishment.

The castle had been almost like you and your twin's passion project after your Dad had left, like a saving grace amidst the chaos that your lives had become. You both acted like it was to help Will, to distract him, but really it was to distract you.

It had worked too, because by the time it was finished the dad-shaped hole in your chest had healed into a dad-shaped scar.

Now, as you flung the makeshift door open, the Castle felt cold and empty. A reminder of what was gone, and a lingering question of if and when it was coming back.

You sighed, some part of you’d been expecting Will to be in there, hiding from the rest of the world to finish some amazing drawing that he’d gotten the idea for.

“Not there, huh?”

Jonathon’s voice behind you nearly sends you flying out of your skin, and you have to place a hand over your chest to calm your rapidly beating heart. “Jesus, Jon!”

He gives what seems to be the making of a smile, though it doesn’t quite extend past his cheeks. “Sorry.”

You shake your head, “It’s fine. I’m just… a little on edge, I guess.”

He nods, shoving his hands into his pockets. The both of you stare at the structure, neither of you quite knowing what to say as memories flow through the both of you.

“Do you- do you remember the first day we worked on this? When Will insisted on helping me cut the wood?” Jonathon asks you, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

A small grimace forms on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself, “How could I forget?”

Six years ago, when you’d built this, Will had insisted on helping Jonathon cut the wood. He was only five years old at the time, but Jonathon had thought as long as he was there to help him it’d be okay. Which, by the way, you would’ve told him was a horrible idea if you’d known he was doing it. You’d been helping your mom make sandwiches for the four of you, when an awful, blood-curdling scream punctured through the four walls of your house.

You and your mom had gone running to find Jonathon bent over and Will sobbing over him, axe in hand. “I’m sorry, Jonny! I’m sorry!”

Will had accidently sent the axe right onto Jonathon’s leg, leaving a massive cut right below his knee. It was gaping and oozing blood so red it was nearly black. The whole ordeal had been terrifying at the time, and ten-year-old you had thought for sure Jonathon would die.

He didn’t obviously, he just needed tons of stitches and ended up with a badass scar. Will never did forgive himself for it though. To this day, he still apologizes to Jonathan for it, though he can barely even remember it happening. You think that’s what makes Will so different from all of you, he is so… so compassionate. So empathetic and more in-tune to his emotions then any other eleven year old on the planet. Jonathon had always told him to stop apologizing, that it was more his fault than anything, but Will never stopped.

Jonathon sniffles from beside you, though you can’t tell if it’s because of the cold wind or the tears in his eyes. “God, I’d kill to hear him apologize one more time.”

You sigh shakily, “I would too.” You insist, eyes filling with tears for the upteenth time today. You wonder to yourself if there would be a point where the tears just stop coming, if Will is going to be gone long enough for that to happen.

You silently pray to God that that doesn’t happen.

By the time 3 o’clock rolls around there’s only one person that you desperately need to talk to, that you know can make you feel better, and that’s Conner.

You’d returned home from your search half an hour ago, the whole thing leading you nowhere closer to finding your brother. You knew it wasn’t… pointless. That it would help you find him, but still, you couldn’t help but worry that you were searching for nothing. That he would never show up.

You needed to talk to Conner.

You dialed his number easily, the digits practically muscle memory at this point. Really, he was the only person outside of your family that you called. You weren’t particularly popular at school, and it’s not like you wanted to be! You were happy with it just being you and Conner. You swallowed as the phone rang, letting yourself lean against the wall as you twisted the phone cord around your free hand.

You frowned when you got his answering machine, though you assumed he must’ve gone straight to work from school. You’d already called off for the day, just like Jonathon and your Mom had. Though, your Mom had called off for the next two weeks.

When Conner doesn’t answer, you sigh, placing the phone back on the wall. Jonathon had shut himself in his room as soon as you got home, and your Mom had driven herself straight back to the police station to hound Hopper again. Leaving you, alone.

You never quite took loneliness well. Jonathon thrived when he was by himself, he found comfort in the silence, whereas you did not. You supposed that was the main difference between the two of you. Yes, you were twins, but really you didn’t think you and Jonathon had many traits in common. Or maybe you did, and you just couldn’t see it.

Either way, you needed to get out. You couldn’t sit here by yourself or you were positive you’d go crazy. Without really thinking, you threw on your shoes and your jacket, letting yourself out through the front door. You practically beelined for your car, the rusty red ford already bringing the slightest bit of comforting warmth to your chest.

You’d always been a bit attached to your car. Driving was comforting for you, and helped you clear your head. You’d always preferred road trips to traveling by plane, though your family could hardly ever afford a plane ticket. You’d always been secretly grateful for that fact.

The car shudders a bit as you force it on, the start of “Gypsy” by Fleetwood Mac blasting into the air. You quickly shut it off, the cassette popping out of the dash. You don’t even bother putting it back in its rightful case, instead choosing to throw it onto the passenger seat as you search through your cassettes for the song.

You had a routine when you were upset. Get in your car, play the song, and just drive. You never had a destination, just an agenda.

You let out a relieved sigh when you find it, quickly pushing it into the car and listening as the beginning notes of David Bowie's “Heroes” blast through your speakers. The speakers crackle and pop as you force it louder, but you don’t care. You just put the car in drive and go.

-

An hour later, you’re parked at a gas station, filling up your car before you head back home. You’d driven around the entire city of Hawkins twice, which wasn’t very hard to do considering its size, and you listened to the song the entire time.

Your eyes are puffy from crying all day, and a cigarette that you’d stolen from your mom months ago hangs lit between your lips. When you’d taken it, you figured you’d save it for the right time. No better time than the present, right?

It burns your throat and chest as you suck in its toxic chemicals, your free arm is wrapped around your middle while the other takes the cigarette out of your mouth and holds it between your pointer and middle finger.

You were sure there was some kind of danger in filling up your car while you smoke, but you’d seen countless people do it before and nothing happened to them. You tap your foot impatiently against the pavement, watching as the fuel gauge fills ever so slowly.

After what feels like forever, you hear the gas finally pop, signaling to you that it’s done its job and you can finally leave. As you stick it back into the gas pump, the sound of awfully loud music and screeching tires distracts you.

You look up to see Steve Harrington’s fancy BMW zoom into the parking lot, driving into the parking spot behind you and blowing so much wind past you that your hair practically flies all over the place. Your eyes instantly narrow as you turn around to glare at him. To no one’s surprise, he’s not by himself. His idiotic, minion friends Tommy H and Carol are in the car, the both of them laughing their asses off at whatever it is Steve has said.

Steve Harrington was… a prick, to put it lightly. You weren’t the guy's biggest fan, and you never had been. Now that he was dating Nancy Wheeler though? You most definitely can’t stand him.

You and Nancy had never really been friends, but there’d been a time where you were acquaintances, back when you both dressed up for your brother's DnD games and played along. Though now she’d grown out of it and you still played a long if they asked you nice enough.

You understood it, obviously. You were getting older, and she’d crossed the threshold from playing with her brother to being a normal teenage girl. You, it would seem, still had not, and Steve Harrington’s friends went out of their way to make sure you knew it.

Carol is the first to spot you glaring at them, and the sickening smirk that grows on her face is enough to make your movements quicken. You really weren’t in the mood to deal with them today.

You drop your cigarette, squashing it with your foot. The damn thing hadn’t done anything for you anyway, if anything you were just more stressed.

You quickly hop back into your car, turning the key and sighing as it revs back on. You reach for the door handle to slam it shut, but you’re stopped as a hand grabs the door, preventing you from leaving.

You swallow uncomfortably, sighing as you force yourself to look up. You're met with Tommy H’s smiling face, and you can’t help but feel sick at the smell of alcohol already in his breath. Schools been out for.. what? An hour and a half? How was the bastard already drunk?

“We missed you at school today.” He drawls. You can see Carol smiling through the rear view mirror, a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers. Steve is nowhere to be found, and you assume he’s gonna inside to buy whatever it is they came here for,

“Get off of my car, Tommy.” You say neutrally. If there was one thing you’d learned from being relentlessly bullied by these two, it was to not show any sort of distress.

Tommy leans closer to you, though his hand never leaves your car, instead trailing from the door to the hood, his fingers hanging carelessly over the opening from where your door closes. “Why would I do that when I’m just trying to have a decent conversation with you?”

You can’t help the way your face contorts in disgust. “Look, I’ve had a shit day, Tommy-”

“I know, I heard about your brother.”

Your breath hitches in your throat at that. It would seem there really were no secrets in a small town. Though, you’re shocked he found out about it so quickly. You don’t say anything. What can you say anyway? Oh, yeah, that really sucks! See you at school tomorrow? No.

“Yeah, me and Carol or real sorry about that, by the way.” Naively, you wonder if he’s being legit. Tommy H and Carol were awful, obviously, but sometimes you wondered if he wasn’t really that awful. You peek up at him at your own volition, a curious glint in your eye. “Really?”

Tommy snickers, “Of course! I mean, I'd be real depressed if my twin killed my younger brother too!”

You can hear Carol laughing, that awful, snotty laugh that she does when she wants Tommy to feel validated in whatever crap he’s pulling. “Hey, isn’t that called having an evil twin?” Tommy continues his attempts at getting under your skin, but you’re not focused on him anymore. You see Steve walk out of the gas station with a six pack, a confused look in his eye. You think that’s what pisses you off the most. It’s not Tommy’s comment or Carol's laugh, it’s Steve. It’s the fact that he knows what kind of awful people they are, and yet still chooses to be their friend. It makes you see red.

Before you even realize what you're doing, you quickly snatch the car door handle, and slam it shut on Tommy’s fingers. He howls in pain, his eyes going wide as his other hand reaches for the outside handle. You let him open the door, though he doesn’t even care for anything other than his bright red fingers anymore.

You smirk as he cradles them with his other hand, pained grunts still falling from his mouth. You can hear Carol calling for him, and Steve just stands in the middle of the parking lot stupidly, staring back at you through the rearview mirror. You can tell that he has no clue of what just happened, but he’s curious.

You don’t say anything as you slam the door back shut, not even bothering to put on your seatbelt as you speed out of the parking lot.

-

“Where the hell were you?”

It’s not the greeting you’re expecting when you finally get home, though you guess you should’ve considering you just left without even leaving a note.

You swallow, shutting the door behind you slowly. “I just needed to clear my head.” You defend softly.

Your mom scoffs, shaking her head wildly. The bags under her eyes are already much more prominent, and her hair is fraying in places it usually doesn’t. “So- So you just left? With everything going on, you just left without even telling anyone you were leaving?”

You played with your fingers uncomfortably, you knew she was right, but you hadn’t really been thinking properly at the time. It’s the whole reason you left in the first place! “I’m sorry, Mom.”

She just sighs, falling into the couch next to Jonathon. “You- You can’t do that, okay? Especially not right now. I- I can’t. Will’s already gone, if I lost one of you…” She trails off, eyes welling up with tears. It breaks your heart to see your Mother so vulnerable and open. When your dad left, she put on a strong face for the three of you. Never let you see her cry, never let you see her break, so that she could take care of you. Now, it was your turn to take care of her.

You sit into the couch next to her, so that now you and Jonathon are practically sandwiching her between the cushions. “You’re not going to lose us, Mom.” Jonathon murmurs. You agree with him, wrapping your arms around the brown haired woman. Jonathon does the same, and the three of you sit there for who knows how long, just embracing.

That is until Jonathon interrupts it. “Cops.”

You follow the both of them outside, where Chief Jim Hopper and two of his officer buddies are waiting with Will’s bike.

You’d gotten him that Bike for Christmas, it’d taken you months to save up for it. When you gave it to Will, he was so ecstatic he said he’d protect it with his life, and now a voice in the back of your head told you that he had.

“We found it lying over by Shirley.” He says as places the bike onto the porch and allows himself and the other officers inside your home. “It was just lying there?” You mom says in disbelief, sharing a glance with you.

“Yeah. Cal?” Hopper says, signaling to the other officer to do something that you’re not too sure of.

“Will wouldn’t do that.” You defend, “He- He loved that bike.”

Hopper glances at you, continuing his march through the halls “I’m sure he did, Kid.”

“Did it have any blood on it, or-”

“No, no, no, no…Phil?” Hopper murmurs. You can’t stand the way he’s looking through your house like it’s some sort of crime scene, even though you know deep down that it is.

Your childhood home was a crime scene now.

You can tell that Jonathon is growing restless at the amount of one word answers Hopper is giving, because you are too. “If you found the bike out there, then what are you doing here?” He asks, only slightly impatient.

“Well, he had a key to the house, right?” Hopper asks, not even sparing any of you a glance. To be honest, it was pissing you off.

“Yeah.” Jonathon answers.

“So…” He mutters, looking through your kitchen like a fruit fly looking for a rotten apple, “Maybe he came home.”

Your mom immediately scoffs, the idea impossible to her. “What- You think I didn’t check my own house?”

Hopper shakes his head, walking over to the wall next to the door. “I’m not saying that. This always been there?” His fingers glaze over a hole in the wall, right where the door handle would smash into it if opened hard enough.

Your mom sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose impatiently. “I don’t know! I’ve got three kids, two of which are boys. Look at this place.”

Hopper doesn’t say anything, instead swinging the door back and forth as if testing his theory. “You’re not sure?”

The attention is dragged away when Chester starts barking outside, and Hopper goes out there without a word. Your mom follows, though you and Jonathon choose to stay inside.

“I hate that they’re treating this place like a crime scene.” You say softly.

Jonathon swallows, “Well, it is now, isn’t it?”

You're silent for a moment, picking at the skin around your finger nails uncomfortably. “Yeah.” You murmur, “I guess it is.”

-

By the time the sun sets you’ve tried to call Conner a million different times to no avail. His parents aren’t answering either, which worries you even more. With everything that’s going on with Will, you could really use your best friend.

There was going to be a search party for Will tonight, the first of what you desperately hoped wasn’t many. Your family wasn’t going, mostly because Hopper told you not to. He’d said it was best for you to stay home the first few nights, they had enough volunteers and they’d call you as soon as they found anything.

You were practically itching to go though. You wanted to be out there looking for him. What if Hopper scared him and he got even more lost? He wasn’t ever any good around new people.

Your thoughts are interrupted by your mom knocking on your bedroom door, and you let her know it’s okay to come in with a hum. She creaks the door open just wide enough for her to fit through it. “Hey.” She says softly.

You give her a small smile, “Hi.”

She sniffles, leaning against the doorframe. “Me and Jonathon are getting some pictures for the-” She sucks in a breath, the words getting stuck in her throat. “The poster?” You finish for her.

She nods, “The poster.”

Wordlessly, you follow her into the living room where a shoebox full of pictures sits opened on the coffee table, some photos already splayed around the wood. You sit down next to Jonathon on the couch, your eyes scanning over each and every family photo. Lots of them are taken by Jonathon, his love for photography never changing throughout the years.

You snort when you spot a picture of you and Jonathon from before Will was even born. You’re both barely over the age of three, the only thing either of you were wearing being a pampers diaper. You were still practically bald, your hair so thin it looked more like wires than anything else. Jonathon on the other hand, had the thickest head of hair you’d ever seen on a baby!

“You look like the girl in this photo!” You point out with a small laugh, and Jonathon just lets out a puff of air, the closest thing you think you’ll get to a laugh from him.

Your mom sniffles from where she sits beside Jonathon, silently looking through the photos, her eyes subconsciously lingering on the ones of Will.

“I- I know I haven’t been there for the two of you lately.” She says suddenly. Your breath catches in your throat and you shake your head. “No, Mom, c’mon..” You insist.

“I’ve just been working so hard and…” A soft sob escapes her throat, “I just feel bad I don’t even know what’s going on with you guys.” She does her best attempt at a laugh after, though it comes out weak and uncomfortable.

Jonathon seems to be going mute again, and you can’t help the way your eyes build up with tears. She rubs Jonathon’s thigh comfortingly, “What is it, Honey?” She says softly, doing her best to coax a few words out of him.

“Nothing.” He manages, though it comes out coarse, as if he’s holding back tears.

“Come on, tell me.” She insists. Finally, Jonathon breaks. “It’s just… I should’ve been there for him.” He admits, and you feel your heart break in two.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t been having thoughts like that. Thoughts of what if. What if you hadn’t taken that later shift? What if you had double checked with Jonathon? Would Will be home safe, like he was supposed to?

“Jonathon, don’t do that to yourself.” You say softly, tears falling from your own eyes.

“This was not your fault,” Your mom reassures, her other hand coming to rest on your cheek. “Either of you, okay? It wasn't your faults.”

She sucks in a shaky breath, “Will is… is close, I can feel it, in my heart.” She says, her voice wavering slightly though you know she means what she says. It comforts you slightly, knowing that your mom believed so wholly.

She smiles, picking one of the pictures of Will scattered on the coffee place. It’s his sixth grade school photo. He’s smiling, and he’s wearing the outfit you and Jonathon helped him pick out because he insisted on looking just perfect.

“This is the one, right?” She says, and you and Jonathon both nod. “Yeah, it’s his favorite picture.” You say, your voice cracking slightly,

Your mom laughs, staring fondly at the photo, until the phone rings. She drops it back in the coffee table and runs over to it. Your heart practically stops beating, hoping, but also slightly dreading, to hear some news about Will.

“H-Hello?” She says into the phone, her eyebrows creasing in confusion. “Hello? L-Lonnie?” You and Jonathan both share a glance, “Dad?”

You get up from your spot on the couch, walking over to your mom in the hopes if being able to hear whoever’s on the phone. “Hopper? Who is this?”

Suddenly, her breath catches in her throat as she looks at you. “Will?”

Jonathon practically shoots up from the couch, standing next to you. “It’s- It’s will?” You said, a weight coming off of your shoulders. He was alive.

Suddenly, her eyes go wide, no longer with relief, but instead fear. “Who- Who is this? What have you done to my boy?”

“Mom, what’s going on? Who’s on the phone?” You question, the weight suddenly crashing back down, making it nearly impossible for you to breathe. “Give me back my son- oh!” The phone drops from her hand, it clearly having gotten overheated or- or something.

Jonathon dives for it, “Hello? Who is this?”

You immediately go for your Mom, “What did he say?” You insist, but she’s already begun to sob. “He just breathed. He just breathed!” Your breath catches in your throat. So, he hadn’t said anything? Not a clue about where he was? Nothing?

You didn’t have time to dwell on it now as you pulled your mom into an embrace, the both of you crying together.

By the time everyone calms down and your mom finally gets herself to bed it’s pouring and you’re exhausted. You flop onto your bed, though it feels wrong to try and sleep knowing Will isn't right across the hall like he usually is.

You toss and turn for at least half an hour, so you’re beyond grateful at the sound of the landline in your room ringing. You assume it’s Conner finally replying to the hundreds of messages you left him, but you’re shocked when you hear the other voice on the line.

“Y/N? Are you there?”

“Mike?”

You assume he’s calling because he’s scared, just like all of you are. “Mike, is everything all right?”

The phone is silent, though you think you can hear Dustin and Lucas arguing in the background. You can hear Mike take a shaky breath, before he simply says, “We need your help.”

[yougavememyopia]

OH MY GOD UR MASOCHIST YAN DRIVES ME INSANE TOO oh my god oh my godddd OOOOHHHHH MY GODDDD GFRRRGAVBNCJJSJKDKDOAODOOAKAKNFNHCHUEOROGLKSJSJHFJDODOAODI

wouldn’t it be so funny to imagine if crybaby yan and masochist yan had to fight over you somehow?? maybe a 3 roommate situation HAHA like masochist yan is so confident at flirting but you’re easily annoyed by him versus crybaby who struggles asserting himself but you have a soft spot for…. IM GOING CRAZYYUYYYYUSUDIAJOAOO

They would not get along.

Masochist yandere is mean to anyone who isn't you. He wants to isolate you as much as possible so he can have all your attention for himself and himself only. He wants to get rid of Crybaby yan as fast as possible. Get him evicted and then turn his room into a "game" room. But he can't. You actually like that pathetic mess for some reason he can't understand.

His go-to manipulation tactic is making you exhausted to resist. Constantly pleading. Talking your ear off so you have to agree with what he says. Still, you somehow remain resilient in your decision. No matter how much he tries to sugarcoat his words like always, or argue how Crybaby yan is literally a useless waste of space. You don't budge. Much to his demise, you threaten to kick him out instead.

Anytime Masochist yan did something that bothered his sensitive roommate, he'd get a scolding. Crybaby yan would aggregate his actions, just to get more of your pity. Burying his face into your neck and putting his legs around your waist. You'd shush him and pet his head, glaring at the guy who made him cry. He glares at you like, "Seriously, you're gonna take his side?"

If you start to doubt Crybaby yan, he knew exactly how to guilt-trip you. Puppy eyes. Pouty lips. Tears easily rolling down his cheeks. The perfect victim with his helplessness act.

As much as Masochist yan actually loves when you yell at him and get all angry, he doesn't like how the other boy was getting most of your time. He doesn't want to be just an annoying shit you bicker with. He also wants your affection— your hugs and headpats— his jealousy really obvious.

"So when I ask to cuddle, it's annoying. When he does it, it's adorable? That's not fair.... Augh! Look what you did. You made me cry! Is that what you wanted? Huh? Is that what you're into, you perv?"

He'd plop down beside you on your shared couch and grumpily look to the side. His whines stopping. You slowly thread your fingers through his hair like the other yandere lying on your lap. And just like that, he melts into you like a pudding. Shamelessly whimpering with his eyes closed. Brows furrow as he hugs your side tight. Eventually, they both learn to get along.

Unlike Crybaby yan—who doesn't openly talk about his feelings (unless it's saying how he doesn't want you to ever leave)—Masochist yan tells you exactly what he thinks. Even if not appropriate. He values honesty, so to him, being a tattletale is justified.

When you come home from a long day, Masochist yan is quick to give you a report of what you missed before you could even step inside.

Standing on his tippy toes to look taller and crossing his arms while he loudly began to speak. "The little creep you love so much sneaks into your room and smells your dirty laundry! Isn't he so gross? You're disgusted, right?"

Poor Crybaby yan looks paler than usual as he looks away from you with teary eyes. Unable to face you, dreading your reaction. Anger causes him to finally speak back against his irritating peer. "W-well, at least I don't s-steal the clothes like you."

"I don't steal, I burrow!" Masochist yan argues back, knowing well he doesn't have an actual point. "And I asked before I took something."

"A-are you serious? You ran away with it before you could get denied—"

"—Boys, boys, boys. That's enough!" You walk to stand between them abruptly. Arms on either shoulders, feeling their muscles tense up. "You're both in a lot of trouble, y'know..."

They glance at each other for a moment, then at you. Your playful words rousing sinful thoughts for one and petrified ideas for another. Different kind of scenerios of how you could punish them rushing in their mind. A playful hum and a scared squeak when you tug their arms and push them inside.

-----‐-------------------------------------------------------------

I WAS LITERALLY IMAGINING THE SAME THING!!!! LIKE THE EXACT. SAME. THOUGHT. Thank you for pulling this idea out of its dark bottomless pit~

Now, let's turn it into smut.

[fanganfessions]

Something I find hilarious about Damon, is just how he's completely wrong about talents. His isn't better than everyone else's. Its probably on the same level as most of them.

Jean has to know first-aid, weather patterns, memorise multiple sea routes, keep group morale high and actually save people from drowning in order to qualify as an Ultimate. Diana has to have the skill to be able to instantly identify what kinds of makeup looks good on her client, probably transform people's faces into something entirely different, and make sure to never make a mistake as she'd have to redo everything. Her eye for detail isn't something you'd find everywhere. Heck, even Kai has to memorise algorithm trends, do partnerships and such, and according to his FTEs, he manufactured an entire zeitgeist from one account, when he was doing an online marketing job his coworkers were cheating off of (even Damon thinks this is impressive), and also influenced the marketing strategies of companies that try to seem more "friendly" and "casual" on social media accounts. Wolfgang's work changes the course of lives, helping innocent people who could've gotten live sentences live freely. Wenona's responsible for basically all the food in the country.

Not to say Damon's talent isn't also extremely impressive. He has to memorise the details of any kind of topic in order to have an expert's opinion in an incredibly short period of time, and weigh it's pros and cons in order to argue for or against it. He's pretty good at the thing too, judging by his Ultimate title. Him winning enough competitions that his parents don't have to work anymore, and supposedly paying for the welfare, groceries and overall living expenses for three (or more if he also pays for any siblings or uncles and aunts) people is pretty damn impressive. It's just that most of his actual arguments about talents are so far-fetched that it's impossible not to poke holes in them.

Yeah, sure buddy, you can argue about ethics and politics, but so can literally everyone. Has he ever went outside near his country's election day?? Or ever went to a family gathering?? And that's only talking about politics. Beause he's definitely not the only one to ever have an opinion. Yeah, his arguments are backed up by actual data and stuff, but he's not the only person to ever do that, and like 99% of those people probably work office jobs. Intelligence also doesn't make his talent superior cause you have to be intelligento for every talent. He also admits in Wenona's FTEs that he wipes his memory clean in order to prepare for his next debate, so he doesn't actually learn anything.

Some talents are obviously more useful to society, like entrepreneurship or law, but debate isn't one of them. In fact, it barely changes society as a whole. It's extremely important to Damon's life and his family's, but unless he goes straight into being a politician or something, odds are he's not changing anything. Damon is pretty impressive as a person, probably more intelligent than most of his classmates, but his talent simply isn't betters than their's. Like I mentioned above, all Ultimate talents are impressive, but comparing a cosmetologist to a entreprenur, an influencer to a historian, or a debater to a lawyer... doesn't make that much sense.

Personally, I think all the characters are extremely impressive in their personal talents (because they're ultimates, duh), but tons of characters like Damon and Eva (most obvious examples) definitely aren't defined by their talents in regards to how intelligent they are, even though their characters do revolve around their Ultimates.

⠀

[exocynraku]

sorry if this is a bit strange to say but your style is so charming :] are there any specific inspirations you have? ALSO can i ask where you learned anatomy from? drawing cats has always been a pain for me and i’m wondering if you have any tips… and i hope you have a lovely day!!! love your works so much :]

thank you veery much.. warrior cats related? ursiday, lupiine, thunderc1an/rebe adventures, movdotmov, assignedk9, bunnyfarm and many popular warrior cats artists on youtube come to mind. otherwise, a lot of what I take inspiration from is manga. i didn't really learn it from anywhere persay, just practice. if you look at some of my first ever wc designs, i could definitely do better now LOL. i'd love to give you more specific tips but literally how i learn is just draw cats. i drew almost all day every day in early covid days when i wasn't in school, and did like, 10 designs a day. ( i wouldn't recommend doing this though, cause now i have Wrist Pain <3 ). so my best advice to you is just draw cats. i never had a problem with seeing my art as 'bad' because in the beginning i was horrendously egotistical and though whatever my current artstyle at the time was was absolutely peak, but i know a lot of people do, so you really need to push yourself forward. even if you see problems in your art now, you have to keep drawing to rectify them. you could study a hundred art books and go to dozens of dozens of classes and look at tons of tutorials but if you don't actually DRAW anything, you aren't going to learn. if you're experiencing artblock, draw something you like which is easy for you (i usually draw my fursona). etc. the minimal amount of tips i CAN give you is to trace. not in like a post-it-online-claiming-its-yours sort of way, but find an artist you like and trace their pieces. specifically, trace the things you like from them, like the paws or face. i do this not often i would say but enough it's able to help me, plus it usually gets me out of ruts where i don't like certain parts of my art. also, real pictures. i'd say this helps more for things like understanding cat anatomy vs how to stylize it. for resources, i'll give you this and this. i can also say, if you're not liking your art, it might be the brush you're using. change it up, i have TONS downloaded and will spend literally hours finding and editing one to what i like. also, get rid of any idea of an "artstyle". you may develop something concrete eventually, but don't stick yourself to a box in the beginning. also, KEEP EVERYTHING. going back and looking at my old designs and art is extremely entertaining, and it can show you how much you're improved over time. tldr: just draw. it's how i learned. a couple other things, but 90% of it is literally just keep drawing.

[dickgraysonisnothereforthis]

didn’t realize this was the liberal arts, part 3 (Jason Todd x reader)

After trying and failing to learn why you’re interested in Black Mask’s drug operation, Red Hood follows you to Crime Alley

Part 3 of the college run! Parts 1 and 2 are on my masterlist.

You’re in one of Jason’s college classes, and you’re mean. Then you show up when he’s Red Hood, and guess what, you’re still mean. Swearing, as always, light violence. Reader is still very mean, but now Jason’s having fun.

I don’t know how long this is

———

ENGL205 Literary Touchstones of the Seventeenth Century has been a hell of a lot more fun since Jason’s botched ‘date’ with you.

Date. Was it a date? Or was it a failed reconnaissance op? Yeah, Jason, decides it was a date, but only because it was such a catastrophic failure. He’d only asked you to go for coffee to try and suss you out and he’d learned jack-shit; no new leads on your grudge against Black Mask’s drug dealers.

Hm. A coffee date. That’s why people go on dates, right? To further criminal investigations?

Jason’s gotta find his jokes somewhere.

No new leads, and you’d stormed out of the coffee shop because, by the end, you’d determined you hated him. Yeah, that counts as a date.

Heh. His first date ever, and it sucked ass.

He cracks himself up.

Bad date or not, Jason’s been having a lot more fun in your shared English class. Who knew your inexplicable irritation with him could be such a good time? But it is, and he can’t help provoking you. He doesn’t go too far, at least he thinks he doesn’t, but he does what he can to make you squirm. If there’s a seat next to yours in class, you bet your ass Jason’s taking it. If not, he sits directly across from you. It doesn’t happen every time, and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it absolutely infuriates you. When he’s next to you, you all but kick him under the table, and when he’s across from you, you glare at him for the entire hour and twenty minutes. Jason has absolutely no idea what he did to piss you off, but he’s not one to walk away from a good time.

It’s not just where he sits, either, Jason takes it upon himself to disagree with you as much as possible in class discussion. At first, he tried to counter every point you make, but he quickly realized he can’t because, uh oh, you make pretty good points. But he gets creative, he plays a lot of Devil’s Advocate, and more than one discussion has devolved into you borderline yelling at him. It’s oh, so fun.

Once, he actually forced you to agree with him. You looked so physically ill when you conceded that Jason couldn’t help smirking at you. He’s been a little stuck on how you rolled your eyes but nodded at him, lips pursed like you’d had a sour candy on your tongue. Jason’s the only one in the class who can get you to look like that. The other students probably think you two are fucking or something. Whatever. Jason doesn’t care, he’s having the time of his life.

Given how much he’s torturing you, there’s no way he’ll get anything out of you as Jason. He’s gotta investigate you as Red Hood. Two nights after your “coffee date,” he stakes out your apartment. Kind of creepy, but he doesn’t feel like he has a choice. Besides, he’s pretty sure you’re going to make some other move against Black Mask’s drug enterprise, and he doesn’t want you to get hurt.

Figuring you out isn’t the only thing on his docket, like you, Jason wants to know what’s up with Black Mask. There’s been some rumblings about fentanyl, and Jason’s seen some overdoses in alleyways. He wants to keep that shit from getting dumped on the street.

Settling in for the stakeout, Jason thinks back to the ledger he’d found when he’d met you beating the shit out of his man. Poor Nelson Willis. Jason was interested in him, too, he was wrapped up in Black Mask’s network. Willis’ ledger was a goldmine, it gave him an in to Black Mask’s Crime Alley operation.

Almost as interesting as when you’d stolen the book from his hands and threatened him at gunpoint so you could look at it.

You’ve got balls, Jason’ll give you that. But balls aren’t enough to protect you, and Jason’s got a hunch you’re walking into deep shit.

Sure enough, there you are, sneaking off into the night. He follows you from a distance. Like the last time he tailed you, you choose to walk. It takes you half an hour—why don’t you just get on the bus?—but finally, you reach your destination: an apartment complex on the fringe of Crime Alley. Jason’s checked; this is one of the addresses in the ledger

Seems he was right to follow you.

Jason perches himself on a nearby rooftop and watches you scale the fire escape. You do it in easy, practiced movements; you’re clearly in shape. And you’d told him you had a history of martial arts, the one thing of value he’d gotten from his ‘date.’

His eyes linger as you grip the iron bar and heave yourself onto the metal ledge.

Huh.

Jason shakes his head. No time for that now, whatever that even is.

Jason’s startled by the sound of glass breaking. Holy shit, did you just break in through the window? You’re not even going to try the locks?

He quickly grapples himself to the building, landing on the fire escape one floor above you. Grunting, he hooks his knees over the bars of the grate and swings himself down so he can peer into the window, hopefully without you noticing.

His abs creak. Be a lot easier if he were Dick.

Squinting through the helmet, Jason tracks your movement inside. It’s dark, and despite your rough entry, you’re being careful, trying to disturb as little as possible. He spies a crappy table in the corner with some papers on it and watches you lock onto it. You move over eagerly, rustling through the papers.

Jason plans to watch you work for now, he’ll get his crack at the papers in a bit. But the plan falls to shit as he picks up on faint movement in another room.

Fuck. Someone else is here. And you don’t seem to realize it. He’s gonna have to make a move.

Just as he’s leveraging himself down from the fire escape, you freeze, picking your head up. Dropping the papers in your hand, you shift into a fighting stance. Jason rights himself just as the person enters the room. It’s a man and shit, he’s got a gun cocked.

The bullet fires and Jason vaults into the room, gun in hand. He takes a shot at the assailant on his way in, but gets distracted when you drop to the floor.

Fuck fuck. Did you get hit? What kind of shitty rescue knight is he?

Jason fires another wide shot and turns to you, heart in his stomach, but no, you aren’t down and out, you had just dodged. He calls out to you, and gestures toward the window. Take cover, get out. I’ve got this handled.

You turn up your nose and sprint toward the gunman.

Well, shit. That is not what Jason wanted.

He fires another shot at the man who ducks out of range and aims for Jason again. Before he can pull the trigger, you reach him and punch him in the face. The shot is impressive, you clean break his nose. But Jason doesn’t have time to admire you because the man turns to you and hits you with the butt of his gun, knocking you cruelly in the head.

This time, you do fall, and Jason wants to throw up. Furious, he shoots at the man again, hitting his shoulder. The man cries out but, amazingly, pulls his arm up and levels the gun at Jason. Jason braces for another shot.

But it doesn’t come. Suddenly, the man clatters to the floor. Looking down, Jason realizes you aren’t unconscious and you’d kicked his legs out from under him. Wasting no time, Jason jumps on the guy to keep him down, and quickly pistol whips him in the head. Same as he did you, except this time, it sticks, and the man is out cold.

Jason catches his breath. Damn. This wasn’t the close quarters fight he was hoping for.

A moan rises from you next to him. Looking over, Jason sees you blinking, gingerly touching your head. “Ouch, fuck,” you mutter.

“Fucking hell, princess, you sure know how to step in it,” Jason says flatly.

“Piss off.” You bring your fingers to your face, checking for blood.

“You’re not bleeding,” Jason informs you.

“I can see that, assface.” You groan, starting to get to your feet.

“Whoa, hold on,” Jason cautiously moves over to you. “You might have a concussion.”

“You just told me I wasn’t bleeding.” You try to stand up, sway, and fall back to the floor. “Actually, I think I’m going to puke.”

“Concussion,” Jason says grimly. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“Nah, fuck that.” You squint at him, then shudder. “Lemme look at those papers.”

Jason looks to the desk. “You can’t even see straight, princess, no way are you reading those papers.”

“The hell I’m not.” You start to drag yourself over to the table.

What the fuck is wrong with you? “Do you have a goddamn death wish?” he demands.

“None of your business.” You crawl over, reaching blindly onto the tabletop.

“Chrissakes.” Jason gets to his feet, shoving your hand out of the way. “What are you looking for?”

You keep silent, glaring at him. “Fucking hell,” he sighs, kneeling so that he’s next to you. “Whatever it is you’re doing, you clearly can’t do it alone.” He gestures to the goose egg on your temple.

“I would have been fine without you,” you insist, and Jason snorts.

“I saved your ass,” he challenges, and you look away, frowning.

Jason sighs. He thinks you’re…you seem to be, uh. Embarrassed. Maybe. Jason’s not sure he knows what anyone’s thinking these days, but that’s how he’d feel.

“I’m not asking for a thank you, this is what I do,” he tries to reassure you, and you huff. “But I’m better at this than you.” You scoff, opening your mouth to argue, but Jason points to the bat on his chest and you fall silent.

He waits patiently. Finally, you give in. “I want the names of the people who deal on 10th and 3rd,” you mutter.

Jason nods, then digs through the papers. After a minute, he clears his throat. “Here, I’ve got three.” He holds the paper out and you take it, sticking it in your pocket. “What’re you trying to do?” he asks.

You glare at him again, and he sighs. “You’re gonna get hurt, it’s kind of my job to make that not happen.”

“Didn’t ask for you to do that,” you mumble, but your heart’s not in it. “I want their addresses.”

Jason nods. “You gonna break in?”

“Not yet, just looking.”

He nods again. “If I find them, will you let me come with you?” You furrow your brow, confused. “When you look,” he clarifies.

“No,” you say stubbornly.

“Then I take that paper out of your pocket and leave you in the dust,” he says warningly.

“Ugh, fine.” You grab onto his arm to pull yourself up. He starts, uncomfortable at your touch. You ignore him. “Come on, if you’re going to be my babysitter you might as well give me a hand.”

Carefully, Jason abides and helps you stand up. He keeps a hand on you cautiously, afraid you’ll fall again, but you bat him away. “It’s fine, relax.” You look toward the window.

“Here.” Jason walks over and knocks out the rest of the glass. You roll your eyes, but step through. “You need help getting down?”

“Fuck off,” you say easily, but Jason’s not convinced.

“Let me go first, okay?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer, gently shoving himself in front of you and leading the way down. He keeps an eye on you the whole way, but you make it down fine.

Out on the street, Jason’s hit with another dilemma. How’s he gonna get you home? It’s a long walk to your apartment. He glances at you: you’re squinting at the ground, bracing yourself against the building so you don’t fall over. Okay, walking and public transit are out of the question. He’s gonna have to call in a favor.

Jason takes out his phone. He pulls up Simon’s number, the jeweler owes him for stopping an armed robbery at his shop. Besides, Jason knows he’ll still be up; Simon may be a jeweler but he’s got eyes and ears and fingers all over this area.

He calls and connects to the line in his helmet. Simon picks up after three rings.

“Hell-o?”

“Simon.” Jason doesn’t need to say anything else.

“Ah! It’s Mr. Red Hood!” His thick, Russian voice booms over the phone. Jason rolls his eyes but smiles behind the helmet. Simon always seems to be poking fun at him, but Jason lets it slide. “Why you call me so late?”

“I need favor.”

“Sure, sure. Of course. What you need?”

“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Jason looks over to see you glaring at him in disbelief. He taps his helmet, and you gesture roughly at him.

Right. International sign for fucked up in the head. He holds up a finger at you. You roll your eyes.

“I need a ride, I picked up someone who needs to get home.”

“Yes, yes. Where?”

Jason gives him the address. A guy will be here in five minutes.

Call over, Jason turns to you. “Talking to a friend,” he explains. “I’m getting you a ride back.”

“Don’t need one,” you mutter, but Jason doesn’t bother to argue. You squint up at him. “I’m not getting in a random-ass car. Why should I trust you?”

Fair point. He sighs. “I…I swear it’ll be okay. I promise.” For whatever that’s worth.

You look at him with suspicion, but nod regardless.

“You should get your head checked out,” he adds. You wave him off.

“How am I gonna know when you get the addresses?” you demand.

Jason’s thought of that. “I’ll find you.”

“Pass.”

Shit, you don’t make anything easy, do you?

“Fine. I’ll give you my number.” You take your phone out of your pocket, and he rattles off one of his burner accounts.

Heh. First time giving someone his number. Jason cracks himself up.

The car arrives and you fall into the back, telling the driver where to go. The guy waves at Jason; it’s Piotr, one of Simon’s kids. He gives him a nod, turning to go.

“Hey.”

Jason looks back to see you’ve rolled down the window. He steps over. “Yeah?”

You let out a long exhale. “Thanks.”

Huh.

“Uh, anytime.”

You nod, rolling the window back up. The car drives off. Jason spends a few moments rooted to the ground.

He snaps back to attention and grapples up to the rooftops. Obviously, he has to follow the car. Just to make sure you get back safe.

———

There will be more! I have a plan!

(Simon is inspired by the jeweler i go to. jsyk he’s a good dude)

[bunnysdollette]

₊⊹⁀➴ How to get real revenge ⟡﹒⪩⪨ 🎀

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧ Hey angels 👼, I know we all have people we dislike/want to get revenge on. Anyway, I’ll show you how to inflict REAL revenge in a more mature and long lasting manner. my whole bloodline is full of D1 elite demons, so it runs in the family. TRUST if you listen to this, your haters will be shook.

♫ bigger in texas, megan thee stallion

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ MOVE ON, CHOOSE PEACE! 👛 ⊹₊⟡⋆

anyways, anything that happened in the past, you have to learn to let go. . 🧘🏽‍♀️ the only direction you can go in is forward, you can’t change what happened or change what’s going to happen. dead it, stressing over the past is not cute.

you’re gonna have haters, ur gonna have people that don’t like u. that’s inevitable, that’s normal. if people aren’t mad at you then you should be going HARDER, their anger and animosity towards you is PROJECTION, you know you’ve made it when you can piss people off even without trying to.

like okay this person did you wrong, so what? are u gonna continue being obsessed over them and the situation and doing petty shit to them letting all this unnecessary baggage drag YOU and your prized energy, emotions, and time down or just level up and be better. be the one that got away and got your mfkin life away. . 📝baby, wtf do you look like staying stuck over something in the past? over something that doesn’t serve you anymore, over something that’s not relevant?

no.. YOU who WILL do BIG, life changing things, can not let the smallest things take them off your path. always choose peace, there is nothing healing about revenge.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ THE ONLY OPTION IS WINNING. YOUR SUCCESS WILL BE THE NOISE ⊹₊⟡⋆

okay so now that we’re plotting our revenge, know that the only real revenge is being successful even after all that that person/situation put you thru. your success will be the revenge to them and it will literally wake up all of their demons and rage to know that you won the idgaf war and they couldn’t even come close to comparing to you. 🥱

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ HOW TO AACTUALLYY GET BACK AT YOUR ENEMIES, A STEP BY STEP GUIDE ⊹₊⟡⋆

DONT speak on them or the situation, EVER again. especially in public. nobody should be under the impression that you’re still obsessing over this situation, because you shouldn’t be.

Recognize that actual petty acts of revenge is NOT the kind of behavior you want to adopt. It only causes more harm in the long run and isn’t going to help you heal or feel peace after what happened to you.

Reflect and refocus on what’s actually important in your life. For many of this this is school, family, mental wellness. This can also be chasing after your other goals too. You shouldn’t even feel the need to be loud about doing all these things to feel external validation for others; let these little moments where your success shines through be the noise that is TRUE revenge to those who treated you badly.

I guarantee that staying consistent with these 3 little baby steps for a few weeks will make whoever you wanted on revenge on literally FUME with anger so that steam literally blows out of their ears whenever you’re mentioned. 💬

Why? Because you’ve inflicted the ACTUAL revenge on them; winning the idgaf war, being the one that continued winning even when they expected you to loose. save this, try it, come back to me with a success story later ! 🎀

🖊️-With love, BD

[kitsunexgari]

Summary: Byung-hun comes in for a photoshoot where you are working as an assistant. The head photographer is running pretty late and asks you to keep him busy. You soon find out he can't keep his hands off of you. Tags: Public Sex, Fantasy, Mild Exhibitionism, Light Dominance, Some Dirty talk Disclaimer: This is not meant to depict real people, places, or events. Story contains adult themes and all participants in these activities are of legal adult ages. Story content is not suitable for minors. Read with caution.

You have not been an assistant for long but even so, the job is very tiring. Rewarding but tiring. Initially, you thought that maybe you would be more involved with the process of taking photos. Actually taking them. Instead, you work for a pretty nightmarish and controlling witch who has to have everything just right in order to shoot a set of photos. Still, she is one of the best in the business. Clients of all walks of life, including celebrities, are constantly coming through the studio. You know that you can make some important contacts here and learn more skills to build a great reputation of your own. You learn to work with it because you know it will work better for you in the long run. 

One day she is running late. She calls you to tell you that you are going to have to take care of her next client for an hour or so because there is heavy traffic on the way back from her location shoot which she didn't take you on. You don't get to go on many of those because she always wants someone in the studio just in case. It's not too bad as it gives you time to practice your own work and take care of other things that need to get done. You assure her that the client will be well handled and there is nothing to worry about. You have done this many times before, after all. Just as you are hanging up, he walks into the studio and looks right at you. 

You hadn't had time to check the books to see the name of the client coming in and you didn't expect it to be him of all people. Someone that you have spent more hours fantasizing about than you ever want to admit. Byung-Hun. You already feel a blush rise up on your cheeks as he approaches your desk. 

"Good afternoon, sir." You say softly, unable to look directly at him. 

"I'm here to see Anastasia." 

"Yes, she's running a bit late. There was an accident and some traffic but I can take care of you until then. If you don't mind waiting." You tell him quickly, "Can I get you a drink?" 

"Sure, I have some time," He says going to take a seat on the couch, "Just a bottle of water or whatever is easiest." You nod and walk across the room to grab one of the bottles chilling in the fridge then come back to him and hold it out slowly. He takes it from you with a very charming smile and you hurry back to your desk trying your hardest not to stare at him. You sit behind your computer and try to look busy but you are worried about him getting bored with waiting. Anastasia doesn't like angry clients. She says that gives them a bad aura when she's trying to shoot. 

"I am sorry about this, it's not typical for her." You try to assure him. 

"It's fine, really, not in a hurry today." He says and glances at the TV that is on the wall in the waiting area. 

"The remote is, over there." You tell him and motion to where it is sitting on the table by the couch where he is. "At least it will give you something to do, right?" 

"Thanks." He says and picks it up. Since you don't have any clue what to actually talk to him about and fear you may say something very stupid if you have to keep talking to him, you attempt to focus on other work you have to do. Forms you need to fill out and clients that you have to email. 

You can't focus. Not only is he right there on the couch in front of you, you can smell him. It's intoxicating. You find yourself staring in his direction periodically before forcing yourself to look away. That is until the moment he catches you doing it. You panic and quickly look back down at your keyboard but he gets up and walks over to the desk, placing his hands on it, tapping his fingers lightly over the top of the wood. 

"I know that look," he says. 

"What look? I was just checking to make sure you were comfortable, sir." You say, unable to look at him once more. 

"Come on," He says, "You think I don't get that look a thousand times a day? I know what it means...I just usually don't get it from girls as cute as you." You are surprised to hear that and look up at him in shock. He thinks you're cute? Why is his voice so low and sensual? You lick your lips as suddenly your mouth has gone dry even if other places have become much wetter. 

"Cute?" You manage to choke out. 

"Oh yeah," He says and leans in to stroke your cheek, running a thumb over your lips softly, "Why keep fantasizing about it when you have the real thing right here in front of you?" All you are able to do is let out a soft squeak because you can't believe this is really happening. Can it be? You have to be dreaming again. That or the stress of this job has caused you to go completely insane but, does that matter right now? You aren't sure that you care. 

"You're serious?" You ask him. 

"Very serious, been awhile for me too...get so busy and lonely. This life isn't all it's cracked up to be and didn't you say she's running late?" He asks. 

"Yes but," 

"Shhh," He presses a finger over your lips gently and you go silent. You have no desire to contradict him and you are supposed to take care of as well as entertain the clients right? It would be bad for business if they got bored and left. "Stand up, come on." You nod stupidly and get to your feet. He looks you over before stepping around the desk and pulling you towards him. With a hungry glint in his eyes he captures your mouth in a kiss. His lips are much more soft and perfect than you could have ever dreamed of. 

When he pulls back you just stand there, staring at him breathlessly. He quickly shoves a few things off of your desk, grabs you by the hips and bends you over it. His hands run over your back to your skirt which he shoves up over your ass, gives it a nice firm slap with his hand causing you to yelp. His hand moves over the back of your thighs and between your legs. You mewl softly, when you feel his fingers on the crotch of your already soaked panties as he starts to tease you with those perfect fingers. 

"You really do want this, don't you?" He leans down to purr in your ear. 

"More than anything..." You gasp. He chuckles softly and slides your panties down, pressing your head to the desk as he unzips his pants. You can hear it but can't quite see what he's doing. Not that it matters, you wouldn't even care if you were blind folded. He moves in closer, you can feel him teasing your opening with his cock, which only gets you to moan, then whine, before he thrusts in. Firmly yet some how still very gentle. You groan and close your eyes as he starts to to move. Each time he thrusts he gets in a bit deeper. One hand holds your hair tightly, the other grasps your hip, enough that you are sure his fingers will leave bruises on your skin but you welcome that more than anything. 

"Like this?" He purrs breathlessly as he moves. He's good at this, far more than you could have dreamed up yourself. Even your own fantasies aren't this good. You close your eyes and moan again. 

"Yes...harder....please?" You beg. He starts to speed up, seemingly hitting every right place inside of you. Pleasuring nerves you weren't even sure you had. You hear him moan and a shiver runs through you, he starts to work his hips faster. You rock back towards him as the intensity rises. The heat inside of you, the sound of flesh against flesh filling the waiting room as he fucks you nice and hard. 

"Are you close? Huh? Going to cum all over my cock like a good girl?" He breathes. 

"Y-Yes...fuck...please let me cum!" You cry, wanting nothing more than that. He starts to pound into you at a feverish pace until you hit your climax and cry out. Your cunt clenching around his cock as you hear him groan loudly, one last time, as he cums too. His motions erratic, kind of jerky, he all but collapses on you, breathing down your neck as he licks and kisses at the skin there for a moment before pulling back. You feel him slip out of you and whine. You know you're going to miss that and it will be hard for anyone to top ever again. 

By the time you recover so you can grab your panties and make yourself decent again, he's already headed back to the couch. A grin on his face as he sits down and grabs his water bottle. You look at him bashfully as he takes a sip. Then you clear your throat, knowing that you are going to have to excuse yourself to get cleaned up. 

"I uh...should get cleaned up." You tell him sheepishly. 

"Alright," He says, "But don't stray too far, might have to go for round two if Anastasia keeps me waiting any longer." 

[atsadi-shenanigans]

FSBE 11 - Faerunian Birth Control

You learn about tea.

On AO3.

You emerge into what passes for morning. Or midnight. It’s fucking miserable, is what it is.

Every joint grinds and aches as you shuffle towards the dim glow of the almost campfire. Your legs move like an arthritic eighty-year-old granny, muscles stiff and creaking, and your head feels even worse.

Still catch yourself looking for white hair.

Astarion didn’t come back. You woke up alone. Again.

Some people is like that. You already know that. He ain’t even, like, alive, let alone being human. And y’all’s relationship (you do not blush over that word) (hopefully not so much other people notice) is still so new. Can barely stand itself up, let alone walk. Y’all’re figuring everything out, is all. And he was probably embarrassed.

You still look to his quiet tent as hurt twists your gut.

“Feeling better?” Gale says. Hands you a mug of cool tea. Fire won’t get hot enough to boil it hot, but y’all don’t got ice and Mr. Wizard don’t wanna use magic on that when he might need it to not get bit in the face again. So y’all get this tepid nonsense.

Still. It’s got some caffeine.

God almighty, you miss coffee.

You grunt a response. Feel all scraped thin again. Content to sit there by yourself and nurse your tea (and your feelings).

Gale tries to take a sip of his own mug and grimaces. Catches you looking. “Sorry. I just can’t bear a proper leaf at less than scorching.”

Maybe it’s cause his accent translates to your ears (thank you dirt potion) as British, but the man is not a fan of iced tea.

“Ain’t proper iced tea, neither,” you say. It ain’t sweet enough, on top of the ice shortage.

“What was it you called the drink again?” he says. It’s in English, carries a southern twang (ha), and comes out, “This drink speak what?”

You hide a smile on your next sip.  Anybody ever follows after you (if y’all survive this shit mess), they are gonna have some questions if they run into Gale.

A short English lesson begins (iced tea). It’s harder for him than learning Faerunese (Common) or Chondathan is for you. English is a bastard of a language on its good days, and ugly sounding to boot.

“But there’s no clear system of grammatical rules applying a plurality,” Gale mutters after a good five minutes. “The pronoun doesn’t change at all, unless it does, but then it changes the entire word and there’s no clear indication which nouns that even applies to! How do you—and I say this as an archmage, if you please—remember which is which?”

“Context” you say. Take a sip. “And plain old memorization. I don’t even get it right all the time. I don’t really think about it.”

“And the word do.” He drawls that one out. “What even is that word? It seems to have no set meaning, yet you say it isn’t a placeholder—”

Movement to the right. White on red. Astarion emerges. Usually, after he bites you, man is downright peppy. Eyes bright, hair glossy, crops watered. Now he’s got dark smears under his eyes, and blinks groggily at the dim sky.

“Ah,” Gale says. His mouth twists up in a half grin. “I see your attention has been rather stolen.”

Astarion looks over at that.

“Sorry,” you say, snapping back to Gale. Which is stupid. It’s not like Astarion didn’t notice. It’s not like he didn’t have his hand in your pants last night and then came— “I heard ‘do’ is a borrowed verb, possibly from a different language that got folded in a couple centuries ago.”

But Gale holds up a hand. Smile softer, now. “It’s quite alright. I understand the effect having a partner can have on one’s focus.”

Huh. That actually makes this all worse.

The scent of flowers drifts over you with a cool breeze. You try not to shudder as Shadowheart comes to a stop over you, her lips pressed thin.

“I…think I may see if our dear friend Karlach can do something with this awful tea,” Gale says and stands before you can even form a “wait”.

You lift a cup in salute to his retreat. Wish you could follow. But have to look up to catch Shadowheart dropping into the spot in the dirt next to you.

“Morning?” you say.

“I haven’t the faintest idea,” she says, because everybody in this camp is allergic to polite goddamn greetings. Except Wyll, who lifts his own cup of cool tea in a gesture of solidarity.

Then Shadowheart hands you a purple pouch the size of your fist.

“Uh,” you say.

“Nararoot,” she says. “You can slice off a piece about the size of a fingernail and eat it directly, or steep it into tea. It’s less bitter as tea, which I’ve heard you prefer.”

You take the pouch. Inside is what looks a lot like a cluster of ginger, except a purple-maroon color.

“Okay?” you say. Stare at her.

She holds that stare so long you’re sure she’s just gonna leave you hanging. Seems bemused about it, too. Then, “I assume you don’t want to be with child during all this? Take that twice a tenday, and you shouldn’t have to take other precautions.”

It’s…oh. Oh. She done gave you the Faerunian pill.

The rest of camp is suddenly real invested in downing cold breakfast and packing up. Astarion’s whole head is hidden behind an open book but…that fucker’s shoulders tremble. That bitch is laughing.

“I, uh,” you say. “I don’t think—”

Shadowheart leans forward, expression soft but real focused. “I don’t know what you’ve heard of vampires, but they can—very rarely—father a child. With our luck running the way it has been, I’d rather be cautious than not.”

It really ain’t about—also, y’all haven’t been doing the kinda stuff that would even result in that.

“I really don’t—”

“Unless you do want a child?” Shadowheart says, and there comes the judgmental eyebrow. Good god, she’s good at that.

Wyll chats with Lae’zel about y’all’s path for the day. Gale has found Karlach, who holds his mug between her hands—now glowing hot red—as she grins in a way that makes your seated-ass knees weak.

“I can’t,” you say. “Get pregnant.”

As the entire camp comes to one of them natural, unforeseen lulls in conversation at the same. Goddamn. Time the words leave your mouth.

“Fuck yeah!” Karlach says. The mug looks a bit soft in her hands, the liquid visibly boiling. She looks up, eyes wide. “Oh, uh, I meant. Sorry.”

Jesus strike you dead. You bring a hand up over your face.

“Oh,” Shadowheart says, blinking fast. “I, I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

And now she thinks she’s the one who done fucked up. God fucking damnit all.

“No,” you say. “It’s not. It ain’t nothing bad, I mean. I did it. Or, I had a doctor do it. A procedure.”

Queue the stealth glances you feel crawling over your scalp. Except from Lae’zel, who stares outright. And Astarion…still hiding behind his book but at least he ain’t laughing no more.

Is that something that’d bug him? Shadowheart said he might, maybe be able to knock up somebody. But it ain’t come up cause y’all’ve been together like that twice now in about a week.

But some people get real weird about that. Even when they think it’s a biological thing. If they learn you up and got your insurance to pay for it? Took the time outta your day to track down a doctor willing?

They get real fucking judgy and weird.

“It’s a procedure I asked for,” you say. “They take out two, small bits so you can’t. Not like, the whole thing. Just, uh, the parts that connect them. I ain’t never gonna get pregnant.”

“Right,” Shadowheart says. Glances away. Is…is she blushing? There certainly seems to be a touch of pink on them cheeks. She flashes you a strained smile. “It appears I’ve overstepped. I am sorry. I, well…”

She don’t look over to the red tent and the pale man lounging out in the front, pretending like he can’t hear every word.

You smile. Just a little. “You was doing your cleric thing and looking out for me. I appreciate it. Really.”

She stares another moment, searching for something in your face. Seems to find it and nods.

“You can, y’know. Might want this back.” You hold out the pouch, cause you ain’t sure how much the pill is here, but she takes it, so it ain’t like it just grows on the side of the road.

She more or less skedaddles after that. Nobody says shit. They leave you to sit there and finish off your room temperature tea. Which you do your best with, and shake the dribbles out. Can’t afford to use the limited water left to rinse it. Hopefully, Wyll was right and that inn ain’t far. Y’all got dried rations enough, but with no water, that ain’t gonna matter very long. And Astarion…

Lae’zel at least lets you know she’s coming this time, by approaching straight from the front. You look up. She stands there, arms crossed, peering down.

“Morning?” you try, because you are gonna get one of these fuckheads to say it back to you someday.

“Hmm,” she says, which is a step closer than last time. “You allow your physicians to gut you so you may use your body as you wish?”

That…is not any kinda description of what you said. All you can picture now is that space horror movie where that girl got into a machine to cut out the alien thing growing inside her.

“I have heard your kind cannot control when they lay an egg, as we githyanki do. I am surprised your people would go through such lengths in order to alter themselves. I thought them like you: too soft and weak to bear it.”

Huh. That’s…huh.

It was a pain in the ass to find a doctor that didn’t make you jump through a dozen “I really mean it, I never want kids and here’s eight referrals saying so and five years’ documentation to back that up” hoops.

And there’s a history with Native women and forced, unknowing sterilization, courtesy Uncle Sam. You never actually told nobody from your family what you done. Except Uncle Randy, who drove you to the appointment and back, all drugged up (and got you pizza afterwards, to eat on the couch with an ice packet on your belly). They all just figured you was gay and hiding it.

“Sure,” you say slowly. “Thanks?”

Lae’zel nods. Considers you again. “You will join me tomorrow so I may teach you how to wield your new weapon. You will join me all the mornings after as well. Consider that when you make your nightly…courtships.”

That last word all, dare you say it, awkward.

Nobody watches you now. That’s nice. It’s nice not being the main entertainment for the group.

“Right,” you say. “Thank you, Lae’zel.”

She nods. Stalks off.

Astarion ain’t out front of his tent no more.

Note: Between 1970 and 1976, the US sterilized Natives (and other minorities) without their full consent or sometimes knowledge. A conservative estimate is that 25% of childbearing Natives were sterilized.

[mysteriouslyjovialcolor]

Europe 2016

-This is an interesting looking track

-“We have a Mercedes and a Red Bull in the front row here”

-Wait -this is Baku- why did I not make that connection earlier? My brain is fried, excuse me

-Oh Lewis is starting p10?! Am I finally about to see a Nico win?!!???

-Ohmygod this is the first ever F1 race at Baku?

-Did Lewis lose places??

-Checo!

-Where did Max start? Why is he p8?

-So many yellow flags already

-Oh okay Max started p9

-I’m assuming qualifying at a new track threw some drivers off

-“He’s got Hulkenburg right behind, and that car is capable of good things” please please please please

-Woah that move from both Valterri and Lewis on Max?!

-Valterri has been that man, even in a Williams (will forever be salty about his time at Sauber- I will however always cherish Zhou and Valterri being teammates)

-Max may not be having a good race but Daniel is

-Aaah Sebastian!! That was so quick!

-Spoke too soon about Danny staying p2

-Max and Fernando pitting early?

-People thinking of one stopping?

-KR: “There was some ******* plastic flying around, I had to avoid it”

-Oh who’s retiring? Kvyat

-“Hamilton’s getting the double tow from both Williams cars”

-Max p16 😭😭

-Nico took off so fast, they haven’t commented on him since the start

-“Box, Sebastian, box”

SV: “Are we sure about this? Tires are looking fine”

“We are about to be undercut by Ricciardo”

-“Interestingly Hulkenburg is quite ahead of anyone else who was on the same tire” please please please please

-Sebastian actually hasn’t boxed yet. Neither have the Mercedes

-Checo p3! (Don’t think he’s boxed either actually)

-Woo Lewis p4!

-Come on Max

-Five seconds for Kimi?!? Ughh

-Yes Max!!

- All top five cars haven’t boxed yet

- Hulkenburg p7 (please please please please)

- Max back in points!!

- LH: “I’m struggling with the breaks. I’ve got vibration”

- “Hulkenburg and Raikkonen going wheel to wheel” That was such a good move from Kimi

- Such a consistent race from Checo- if he loses track position because of a pit stop I will scream

- Yesss he overcut Lewis!

- “Rosberg can pretty much make a pit stop from the lead now and still get track position”

- “Let’s have him Kimi, it will change our race if we have him” Yesss Kimi…ohmygod why did I have to get reminded of the penalty?!

- So not used to Max having such a quiet race

- Also kind of want to see Nico win from further back on the grid..any recs?

- Let’s go Checo!!

- Apparently Valterri and Max have been beefing cause the commentators keep getting excited when they’re close together on track

- Ayy are Force India going to pull team orders?

- I get it though, Checo definitely has more pace (plus he’s on a completely different strategy)

- Seb finally pitting. Ah Nico too

- Oh Max pitting again?? How come?

- I really need to learn more about tires

- “And in comes our race leader” Honestly I forgot all about him

- Checo holding back Lewis is just everything

- Where has Max come out?

- Nico back down in p13. For my sake, please please make your way back up

- “Okay Pascal, please be careful on turn 8, please be careful on turn 8, we’ve got a final warning”

PW: “I’m not cutting turn 8 with all four tires”

That was so whiny. I love it

- Yesss Nico!!

-Honestly confused on Red Bull strategy

-Where has Max come out?? Why is no one telling me??

-Kimi p2!

-Nico back in points!

-Carlos leading a DRS train. Daniel stuck right at the end of it?!

-Max p17?!?

-What is Red Bull doing??

-Ferrari 2-3! You don’t see that much (this 2016 season)

-So annoying that Kimi is p2 but has a penalty

-“Hulkenburg, drives past Carlos Sainz, very easy that” Yess Hulk p8!

-LH: “Is there no solution to this?”

“We are working on it

“You guys need to pick up the pace”

-I’m assuming it’s not fun being stuck behind the same guy for over half the race

-“And Raikkonen gets out of the way. Sensible move from Ferrari” Excuse me while I go cry (Yes,I know it was a strategic call. No, I will not like it unless it’s benefiting my driver)

-Whyyy is Max still out of the points

-“Thank you Kimi, thank you”

KR: “Yes, but now you tell him to push. I don’t want him right in front of me”

-“We haven’t really seen any big mistakes from the drivers” Whyyy do you want to?!

-Oh yay, Max points

-What do you mean telling drivers what modes to be on was banned under 2016 regulations? That’s not still in action is it?

-Carlos???

-What is going on with Lewis

-LH: “I haven’t changed anything or done anything that’s wrong”

-Still confused as to why they can’t tell him which setting is wrong?

-How has Daniel gone from p2 to now running p8? What was Red Bull even thinking?

-Shoutout to Kevin Magnussen for going from the pit lane to p11

-Nico back to p7!! (Yes yes yes yes)

-10 laps to go

-Aww Wehrlain has retired

-Really need Kevin to stay p11 actually

-Hahaaa Lewis has figured out the settings apparently

-Ayy Alonso retiring as well??

-✨ Baby Ocon ✨

-“He is amazing Sergio Perez” Always the tone of surprise

-“Verstappen getting past Felipe Massa for ninth place” Man has come back to where he started

-“I can’t answer Kimi. I can’t answer”

KR: “For sure you can say yes or no”

-Why has this regulation thing not shown up in any other 2016 race I’ve watched

-“No one’s in the same race as Rosberg” This is how he won the championship

-Aww Kevin dropped to p14

-Checo frustrating Lewis while Nico frustrates Daniel

-“Nico Hulkenburg, who won Le Mans, this time last year” WHAT

-Nico Rosberg about to get the grand slam>>

-Ohmygod Checo’s about to make podium!!

-This was the most chill Azerbaijan race I’ve watched ever

-Ohmygod Max, how did he manage to get past the Force India so much faster than anyone else did??

-“Perez does not need to pass this Ferrari, just going to remind you here” He’s going to get past anyway!! Let’s go baby!!

-“Nico Rosberg has become the first ever formula one race winner at Baku”

-“Well done Checo, you did it in style there”

-Nico, Seb, Checo podium>>>

[timideartilleur]

"It's just another day at the Committee of Public Safety (21th Century AU)"

Episode 1 - "Fixed hardware, broken heart"

What follows is a tiny script I wrote many months ago, set in a modern AU. The main characters, as you might have already guessed from the title, are the CSP members. Thanks to @mathildeaquisexta for giving me the courage to post it, as I wasn't convinced at all... Hope you enjoy!

Billaud: [frowns] Guys… This stupid machine has broken again [hits the monitor of his PC].

Carnot: If you keep doing that of course it will break. What happened?

Billaud: It’s already broken!! [whines] I told you!...Internet Explorer stopped working so I deleted “explorer.exe” from the task manager to then open it again…

Carnot: You did what!?

Billaud: [angry] I did what you told me to do in these cases…!

Carnot: I never sa-

Hérault: Aaaaaah… You and your cryptic, diabolic machines! I find myself so good with pen and paper.

Carnot: Cryptic…? Come on, even Lindet managed to learn how to send emails…

Collot: [laughs immoderately] Have you heard, Lindet?

Lindet: [with his head stuck on his paperwork] No, I haven’t. Usually when Carnot speaks, all my ears can grasp is an indistinct cacophony.

Carnot: [indistinct noises of annoyance].

Billaud: [sobs] I’ve lost all of my work now!!

Saint-Just: Haven’t you done a backup of your files?

Billaud: Oh… [puzzled] What do you mean with “backup?

Carnot: Supreme Being… [rolls his eyes, gives a quick look at Billaud’s monitor]. It’s not broken, just stuck.

Collot: [with impatience] And what are you waiting for!? Fix it, would you? We’re having a call with some representatives in half an hour.

Carnot: [narrows his eyes, in a passive aggressive tone] You know what? I won’t. I’m tired of constantly fixing your devices and, most importantly, not being listened to!

Robespierre: Nobody ever asked you anything.

Saint-Just: Can’t Prieur do it? He’s quite good with technology.

Robespierre: Isn’t he on mission?

Saint-Just: [sighs] Not that Prieur, the other one there [points at Prieur de la Côte-d'Or on the opposite side of the room].

Robespierre: Aaaah! [smirks] You mean Pierre-Louis!

[Saint-Just facepalms.]

Collot: Geez Robespierre, how can you still confuse them?

Saint-Just: Anyway… Prieur, can you please unstuck Billaud’s pc? Since Monsieur le Chevalier de Saint-Louis here refuses to do it?

Carnot: [angry, raises his voice] How did you call me!?

C.A. Prieur: [smiles embarrassed] B-but, but… No I… I can’t. [Blushes] I’m not as good as Carnot with these things… I don’t think I…

Billaud: [rushes towards Prieur, folds his hands in front of him] Pleeeeeeease, dear Prieur! It’s essential for me to have my files back…!... And for Collot too: he has to receive an important message…!

Hérault: [confused] Why can’t Collot use his computer? He has a fancy Apple one. Also his phone can-

Robespierre: Believe me, you don’t want to know what happened neither to Collot’s pc, nor to his phone… And what might happen to yours in case you have the foolish idea to lend them to him.

C.A. Prieur: Fine, fine I’ll see what I can do… [stands up and timidly approaches Billaud's desk]. Oh, it’s actually not that hard: you press the power button for a few seconds forcing the machine to shut down. Just that! Next time you turn it on, it should be alright, see? [does what he has just said, showing Billaud that the pc is working and no data have been lost.]

Billaud: [amazed] Wooooooooooh!!

C.A. Prieur: By the way, it’s correct to delete processes from the task manager when they stop working, but in this case you deleted “explorer.exe” instead of “iexplorer.exe”, which is the process tied to the Internet browser.

Billaud: Thank you!! [squeezes Prieur in his arms.]

Saint-Just: Well done, Prieur. A quick and effective solution combined with a clear explanation of the problem… [glances at Carnot to tease him]... Without wasting words on dramatic tirades.

Carnot: [blushing with rage, tries to pull himself together] Very well. Since my contribution not only isn’t appreciated, but it’s also mocked, there’s no need for me to stay any longer. [Quickly packs his stuff up and leaves the room shutting the door.]

Robespierre: What a drama queen.

Collot: Dude, you acted more or less in the same way just a few days ago, when he told you your poems are stupid.

Lindet: Can someone please go calm him down? He still has to give me back some reports I sent him a while ago.

C.A. Prieur: [sighs and frowns] I fixed Billaud’s pc… Guess it’s my duty to fix Carnot’s wounded heart too… [takes his cane and leaves the room.]

Hérault: How poetic…! But human hearts aren’t like machines!

[Barère abruptly enters the room.]

Barère: [joyful] Bonjour, mes amis!!

Robespierre: [serious, points at his watch] Do you know what time is it?

Barère: [smile proudly, nods] I’m perfectly on time!

Saint-Just: It’s 10 am.

Barère: Oh well… [embarrassed] Today is my day off, so…

Collot: [astonished] Day off!? Since when have we had days off!?

Billaud: The revolution never goes on holiday!

Barère: [a bit disoriented] But, but, but… I asked permission to-

Saint-Just: You asked permission to none and are blatantly lying.

Barère: [frowns, in an emotional tone] But, but… Listen, it’s complicated… There was a little problem with my wife and I have to go ba-

Hérault: [shocked] Married!? You are married!?

[General stupor. Even Lindet raises his head from the paperwork.]

Collot: [nonchalantly] Yes yes… With a vain, spoiled, noble brat.

Saint-Just & Robespierre: What!?

Barère: [blushes] Hey…! [looks down] Don’t call her like that… Besides, how do you know!?

Hérault: Indeed…

Collot: [grins] Fouché told me.

Barère: [annoyed] And how the hell he knows!?

Fouché: I know everything.

[Everyone turns around towards Fouché who’s standing behind them.]

Hérault: And where do you come from!?

Billaud: [sobs] Man’s truly in the walls of this room… 

Fouché: [creepily smiles with widened eyes] I was simply looking for Collot, he doesn’t reply to my calls.

Collot: Ah, right, yes huh. [Takes his coat left on a chair and joins Fouché] Excuse-me, nerds. I have some matters to settle.

To be continued...

[for-my-mind-to-run-around-free]

The rest of the chapter, now officaly done!

“Read it out to me,” Regulus gently requested. Upon seeing James’ questioning brow continued with a verse “Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard /Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on.”

James made eye contact with him and continued, “Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear’d, / Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone: / Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave”

Regulus swiftly but gently interrupted as James was taking a breath, “Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare; / Bold lover, never, never canst thou kiss,” regulus realised they’d both started grinning at some point in between the verses. He paused, and looked at James.

They kept conversing like this, quoting each other lines from years and years of poetry, or simply going into snappy but friendly banter. They didn’t learn much about each other, except their shared love of poetry and the ability to give back as good as they got. Hours passed without Regulus even noticing, until James’ watch pinged.

ping-ping-ping

three in quick succession and then one last ping, like a cartoon character vomiting bubbles

“oh - right - ok - yes” James seemed to be overcome with a sudden urgency as he muttered out “I’ve gotta go now but it was so nice to meet you. Umm- would you mind checking this copy out for me?”

“right, yes, of course, it is my job” Regulus replied while trying his best to not show his disappointment- what did he even have to be disappointed for anyways? The stranger who ruined his art suddenly departing with no way to contact him- Ah right. ok.

Regulus guided them back upstairs and through the small maze the back of the shop was before taking his place at the back of the counter and grinned.

“Welcome to Cemetery Gates, my name is Regulus. How may I help you today?”

Something lit up in James’ eyes as he replied.

“Oh right. yes. I came to get a book for my son. He is almost 1 years old and seems to be in a phase where he tries to roar at anything that resembles a lion… I was wondering if there was anything that had lions in them that I could read to him?”

Regulus assumed he wasn’t really a father to a one year old, and he was just joining in on the joke but he still took a minute to consider the information over carefully. He wasn’t usually in charge of stocking the infant books, and wasn’t extremely familiar with the inventory but he was sure he could find something interesting. But the thing that took up the most space in his brain, almost stopping him from formulating the coherent thoughts that came before was the fact that James might’ve had a son. James was potentially a father. James’ son, most likely also had a mother as babies tended to have mothers. Regulus didn’t quite understand why this information was really upsetting, but he decided not to ponder over it for much longer. This must’ve been a good decision, since James had started looking at him funny at some point during his now intense prolonged silence.

“Mate, you all good there? I can’t actually get Harry the book now, I was only joking, I really do need to go. I’ll stop by and get it on Sunday.”

“Right, yes, I’m perfectly fine thank you” but Regulus still took the moment he turned away to check the label of the book and get James a complimentary bookmark as a moment to compose his face to a completely neutral expression.

He really wasn’t joking about having a son.

The man he just spent hours potentially flirting with was as straight as he looked and even had a son.

He was just being friendly and as always Regulus found a way to ruin it all in his head.

Still, being friends with James wasn’t such a bad idea as this would increase the number of friends he had from 1 to 2. Pandora always said he needed to make more. As he reasoned his way into keeping in touch with James, his hands did something so impulsive, he was pretty sure he hadn’t done anything this impulsive since the act of leaving home.

He scribbled his number at the very last page of the book with a pencil nearby.

‘0755XX XXXX - if you ever want to try and beat me to a quote or return the jumper, Regulus x.’

He decided that if he took one second to consider what he’d just done, he’d burn the entire volume to its ashes but instead he turned around, slid it across the counter and told James’ his total, who chose to make a very quick contactless payment and promptly dissappear. If Regulus wasn’t too busy thinking about the hands that picked up the volume, he would’ve noticed James almost running out of the store.

He allowed himself to smile one more time before resuming the work he was supposed to be doing.

Let's go where we're happy

you may wish to go to the end of work for authors extensive ramblings.

Chapter 1: Meet not so cute

It was an ordinary day at the shop for Regulus. Stacking books, filing the returns at the back (though Regulus never understood why someone would return a book they purchased anyways, it was one of life’s mysteries) and being forced to paint that damn display in the children’s section between aisles for 10-12s and 8-10s. Truly ordinary, completely undistinguishable Sunday at The Cemetery Gates.

As it quite often did round this time of year, it was pouring out when Regulus squeezed the white on to the punched folder pocket that he decided would be his easel that afternoon. He found a comfortable position where he could reach the clouds. Round brush dipped into the paint and scraped around a little bit before touching the soft wood of the shelves. He pretended to hate Barty for being forced to do this, but it wasn’t so bad when he actually got to work and honestly, he could even admit to enjoying the art and the rest from the stressful customers once he focused.

His mind finally started wandering into the happy place hidden at the very back of his mind, somewhere he could only visit when he felt truly safe and zoned in. He finished the clouds and got started on Cinderella’s apron, while Piglet and Winne the Pooh dried in the other corner.

It was then, when his guards were completely down, out of nowhere, something pointy, freezing cold and soaking wet crashed into him.

Paint water spilled all over.

Regulus found himself crushed between his painting, now leaving an impression of Piglet on his left cheek and the thing that seemed to be a black haired soaking wet creature that stumbled over him.

He tried to shake free out of his position, which must’ve alerted the being that left a dark spot on his shirt, as he suddenly became overly animated, backing away and speaking so fast it was undistinguishable.

Regulus, finally finding space to turn around, faced the mystery. This was quiet unfortunate for him because he realised that the creature responsible for ruining hours of his work happened to be a man with a very smooth face, hazel eyes that felt like the galaxy was hidden in them and jet black hair that was stuck to his face. His slivery black octagonal glasses were so stained with rainwater, regulus wasn’t surprised that he couldn’t see out of them. His features were distinct, could even be called handsome. However, Regulus was not going to be calling the mystery gentleman who he must hate and hold a grudge against for ruining his work anything positive let alone handsome in this century.

Regulus realised the gentleman’s mouth was moving, and he snapped back to reality.

“— I’m really sorry, oh god, I’ve ruined your painting as well and is there any way-” Regulus cut him off as his rambling really started to become more indistinguishable.

“Ehm this is quite alright, I was getting the white to paint over the whole thing anyways” He didn’t know why he lied to him, but oh he was so apologetic and those eyes. No. Focus Regulus.

“Oh but really you’re also damp now, I really didn’t mean to-”

“You are quiet the rambler aren’t you” he scoffed light heartedly, turned around around and started walking towards the employees only area. Why was he doing this? Why was he being kind? He wasn’t a kind person, thank you very much. He certainly wasn’t one to be kind to complete strangers he had every reason to hate.

He turned back after a couple of steps, “Come along then, let me get you something to wear before you catch your death” The nameless gentleman looked up in slight disbelief and started following him. Regulus was still internally stunned at his own behaviour, was his coffee drugged this morning?

They finally reached the employees only area at the back and Regulus lead the stranger inside.

The door with the sign DO NOT ENTER swung open to reveal a small room with an old arm chair that could’ve belonged in the Buckingham palace had it not been so worn down and on the the right there was a faded green sofa that looked like it was straight from a sitcom. The rug on the floor was plush and comfortable, but it was clearly originally not such a dark shade of grey. The entire room had an air about it, nothing felt like it belonged, it was out of time, yet at the same time you couldn’t imagine the room in any other way.

Regulus always loved the come and go room, its what they’d nicknamed the staff area after they realised how many strays were brought here by the employees. You could always find what you needed in the smallish room in a very inexplicable way. Regulus pointed towards the unassuming wardrobe in the corner and sat the stranger down on the green sofa next to it. He pulled out a sweater from the common drawer that he was 97% sure belonged to Barty and another one from his own.

In a moment of impulsiveness, he realised he wanted to see him again.

He passed his own sweater to the gentleman and pointed towards the second door in the room.

“That’s the bathroom, there’s a hairdryer and clean towels in the third drawer down”

He faced Regulus as he said a gentle “thank you” and moved towards the bathroom.

Regulus took of his own apron and jumper and quickly changed into dry clothes before the stranger came back. He heard the faint sound of the hair dryer turn on and after a while turn off.

Not long after the gentleman walked in, wearing the slightly oversized jumper (regulus always swam in it so it really fit him perfectly) and sporting a blow dried hair. It seemed he must’ve helped himself to some of the multitudes of bottles of hair products in front of the mirror because he looked really good. His hair was soft and silky and regulus wanted to touch it .

Wait. what. He absolutely didn’t want to touch a complete strangers hair.

“—he hairdryer is ancient mate, I’m surprised you guys haven’t gotten electrocuted just by its mere existence,” Regulus realised belatedly that the man had come in and started chattering on immediately while he was busy adoring staring noticing the improvement in his hair “and oh by the way my name’s James,” Regulus must’ve forgotten to move his face as the man continued with a small cough and a very unsure face “and you are..?”

Regulus decided to stop staring daggers at him, finally compose himself and respond simply with “My name is Regulus Arcturus. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

James laughed with a smile that reached to his eyes. It made Regulus view his face in an entirely different light. Maybe he wasn’t so mad about him ruining his work.

“You’re posh”

“You’ve used my hair products”

“and you’ve noticed”

“yes. I have noticed.”

“are you mad about it, i really should’ve asked”

Regulus gave a non committal shrug, he really didn’t like strangers touching his belongings, but James wasn’t a stranger now. He was wearing his jumper for gods sake. He realised, he wasn’t actually mad, and there wasn’t his usual viperous tone behind the snappy argument they had started to communicate in.

James asked another question, it seemed he didn’t really care either.

“So, how come you’ve got such a cosy place in a shop called ‘Cemetery Gates’”

“Cemetery gates don’t always open to hell, but sometimes to what one considers to be heaven. Death only exists in the way we perceive it.”

James paused, seemed to consider it for a moment. Regulus, shocked at his honesty, also stopped. The latter was the first to speak this time.

“Your expression to that tells me that your soul hasn’t seen enough poetry, let’s get you some of my personal recommendations.”

“Maybe, just maybe, you’re wrong in your assumptions this time. But. I would still like to lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence with you.”

Regulus’ change in heart rate definitely wasn’t in response to the very handsome stranger that quoted Oscar Wilde seamlessly. No, definitely not. Instead of quipping back another line, Regulus just started walking down the stairs and gestured James to follow.

The adult non-fiction section downstairs was decorated in a much more gothic style with a consuming ocean of darkness greeting anyone who went down, although somehow there was still enough lighting provided by the chandeliers to clearly see the titles scattered around randomly on dark wooden shelves. Regulus was the only person who knew the exact madness in which this section was organised, as he did it himself personally. This wasn’t to say there wasn’t a method to his madness, but it seemed nobody else could figure it out and he never tried to explain himself. He liked the mystery it created, and it didn’t seem to be affecting the sales so no one really minded that much.

As Regulus determinedly walked them towards poetry, they passed by several busts that were resting on the shelves; Athena, Persephone, Aphrodite and Demeter, all looking towards the entrance greeting everyone that passed by.

Finally Regulus came to a stop on another surprisingly soft round blood red carpet that covered about 2 meters across and wide. He sat down and gestured James towards the books that were behind him but in front of James.

“The ones behind me, you are familiar with, I see.”

James looked over, picked a random one up and read the cover.

“So you did recognise Wilde” James indicated

“Of course I did”

“Not so uneducated then am I?”

“The poetry of earth is never dead. But I still feel there is work we must do,” Regulus, without moving an inch from the position he was sitting at, now pointed towards the books that were on the shelf in front of him and behind James “Keats and Yates are all on that shelf, you should pick one out.”

James silently obeyed, but the way he browsed, pick up a book and turned the page was so methodical it would be idiotic of Regulus to even consider James had never touched it before. Regulus was actually pretty sure James had memorised it from cover to cover with the way he handled the volume, finding his way to a specific poem.

“Read it out to me,” Regulus gently requested. Upon seeing James’ questioning brow continued with a verse “Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard /Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on.”

Hello world, so, just as promised, here's the first chapter of "Let's go where we're happy", fic title taken from the song Cemetery gates by the smiths. Obligatory, I do not wish to be associated of she-who-must-not-be-named and her horrible acts, this is a fic made out of love for all those who made the marauderers what it is. Thank you all for reading. (Also will be cross-posted to AO3, link here, when it has been.) also this will be extreme slowburn as promised, just this first chapter doesn't quiet give that impression but please do trust the process. (also I might make a chapter 1.5) ok i'm going to shut up now, thank you so much if you've read it this farrrr ahhhh!!!