#it gets slower the longer it is
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Safety
#only drew this bc I wanted to record my process one good time. so I needed smth simple and quick#my pc couldn't handle having a longer timelapse run in the bg#it gets slower the longer it is#villainous#villanos#dr flug#flug#black hat#kenning flugslys#villainous black hat#vilanesco#villainous flug#paperhat#cartoon#fanart#my art
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I must not start the next 7k word chapter of a fic at 1 am. reading and commenting on a 7k word chapter at 1 am is the sleep killer.
#just blahs#staring longingly at chapter 5 of gardenia ......#it doesn't help that i take a bit longer to read them since im liveblogging the whole thing in my notes app for my comment lmoa#that along with just. me in general. who reads slower and gets distracted easier when its really excited about reading a thing.#anyways
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tattoo
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#ichiban kasuga#mitsuo yasumura#jo sawashiro#masumi arakawa#snap sketches#im staying up longer and longer for sillier and sillier things BYE#and i said this was a SHORT and SIMPLE comic good CHRIST#when did i even start this... am i getting slower... or is it just that now that im coloring things now it takes longer ☠️#idk... but there goes drafting that other comic ig LMAO#drew all this just for the funny censor bit. it was worth it i only have Minor regrets#i gen gotta put a hardstop on drawing its starting to get in the way of my regular routine ☠️☠️#of which. i have to go do. before i nap. bye bye
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ever since that one ask i keep thinking abt Jakkans timeline with the whole 'Ollie's demonic genetics cause him to age super slowly and outlive everyone else' so hes like 1000 years old but only looks like he's in his mid 40s but hes also like a half cyborg at this point
#like his big horn on his head partly if not entirely replaced by a futuristic tron legacy-esque horn IM#his tusks replaced with ✨futuristic✨ tusks#a theory is the older ollie gets the longer it takes to physically age thats why he aged pretty quickly currently but his aging process get#slower as the decades go on#also maybe instead of a regular skateboard hes into hoverboards perhaps???? or something inbetween#IM NOT DONE him having a semi sentient hologram of kari like some sort of bladerunner 2049 shit#AND oh lord if i do solidify the idea that they bring back Ponti from the dead and when him and Jakkan are on A Quest to 'send ponti back'#nd ponti and ollie accidentally stumble upon eachother like the wave of shock and grieve in ollies face oOUUUGHHH#him being blown back into memories of way back then (now) by the sight of ponti he would be sO SHOOKETH#scraping my claws on the walls i need to draw it already but im so busy drawing wise and i wanna start the next comic section PRONTO NOOO#im at least putting it in my evergrowing list bc i have A Vision#jakkan
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Transexual Thursday!
My voice is finally starting to drop after almost 9 months on T and I couldn’t be more excited! This is also a reminder that just because most of the timelines that people post show changes fast doesn’t mean that’s the reality of transitioning for everyone
Honestly, it's fun to think of it as... your body storing up power like it's going to power attack you like it's Link LoZ
#ask#anon#transsexual thursday#i find when i get really bummed about some of the slower changes (cough facial hair cough) i think of it like that#like your body is just a shonen anime protag who is going to crack the earth with the power attack its going to unleash#you'll get the changes! even if it takes 'longer' than other people 💛💛💛
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i need to be honest with you all i need to be on tumblr more
#reason being that tumblr is slower and calmer vs other soc meeds#tumblr is less addictive tbh#to be very blunt loll#but anyway even though we have more followers on twitter#its not a place to connect with people u less its for your front/reputation/business#f you REALLY want to connect with people your audience. i feel that tumblr is more friendly to that?#also we have longer posts. so i dont have to chop my language#people talk in replies and in tags and send asks#people on twitter move too fast#im still using twitter as one of our main fronts but guys…#we need to come back home to our roots for real#remember who i an#(half joke but no really )#am i making sense lol#like a prodigal son#from kris p#mod stuff#also unfortunately i still dont have new art to show ..#been super busy and super stressed !! but ill have a new Nyxus piece for you guys soon#after finals ill get back on commissions asap o7
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I wish it wasn’t rude to look at people you don’t know
#im thinking about how i process much slower than others and whenever i look at someone i either get weird looks or have to look away before#i even know what im looking at#and im thinking about how when i catch people staring at me i get a little freaked out#and how i get freaked out bc the social norm is never to look at a stranger for longer than a split second without intent to start a convers#ation#so I ‘must have done something wrong’ for someone to stare at me like I do others#and how if i see someone staring at me who is noticeably neurodivergent i don’t get freaked out the same way#i get a little uncomfortable bc im not used to it and bc i have social anxiety#but it’s not the same feeling of worry#bc i realize that they might have a lower processing speed or not understand/remember/care about social norms#or another reason#i just wish it was normalized#i mean it’s so fucking lonely being in public when ppl aren’t even socially allowed to look at each other without a direct reason#cant my eyes linger on someone’s cute jacket#or on someone i find mildly interesting#like why should that be a social fuckup#im cool with people looking at me or my jacket or whatever#like we have eyes why mustn’t we use them?#maybe I don’t wanna look at concrete all day#personal#adhd#idk if I have this one but it’s relevant so:#autism#neurodiversity#social norms#eye contact#<- it’s not always eye contact but it’s in the same vein#folkways
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Me: Persona is like one of my more normal interests
Also me: *proceeds to do a replay of P3P on NG+ as the femc even though this is gonna take well over 50+ hours like last time even if I skip some dialogue*
#meg text#persona 3#it’s so funny too because before this I was like “I don’t think I’m a rpg guy/guy who likes slower pace series”#when in actuality I have zero preference it just has to tickle my brain and keep my engagement which p3 does#now if only I could finish a anime longer than 20 eps but will worry about that later#also im gonna try to get every party member social link even if i have to max out stats#its not for Orpheus telos it’s just I wanna do it since I care more about the development than the benefits of SLs#even if it’s good they do have benefits since otherwise it’s like “why do these side things”#the only outside SEES link I’ll do is Ryoji probably…#I think I barley got 11 SL last time and that included the three automatic story ones 😭 so I hope I can balance this
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will reply to more messages tomorrow ! i must sleep nao !!!
#jhbgdsj so much love today thank u everyone 🥺🥺🥺 im so happy u love col as much as i do !!#we can talk abt it together <3#will also get to the tags of the the rbs tomorrow!! there are so many and i want to message each n every one a thank u !!!#also to my megumi fic omg i srsly didnt expect ppl to like the way i wrote him but am so touched n giddy that ppl do !!!!#liek !!! hdbvsghafb the idea for that fic came to me while my bf was driving me home n we were stuck in traffic 😭#i always tell him in some variation to keep driving until the end of the song!!! bc i like the song... HAHAHAHAAHAH#either he drives around a block or just drives slower dhsgj#but that night with the traffic had good vibes and i did want to stay there just a lil bit longer :') BSHSBNG AAH#but !! I am so happy ppl find my pre-relationship college megumi to alr be so boyfriend material <3#HSGDGHSAD#anyWAY tomorrow i am going to try to work on the col lingerie drabble so it can come out soon !! and brainstorm with niku for our event!!!#goodnight everyone <3#i talked so much again
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bonus:
46': Free-Kick by Marvin Ducksch
#marvin ducksch#sv werder bremen#he tried you gotta give it to him#20230826 scfsvw#2gif#tried to test out how the slower gif speed worked on this app: as you can see#not that great lol; photoshop no longer works for me so.... you get this ;u;
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managed to nap for a few hours and wake up at around the time we'd actually normally wake up if we went to bed at the right time which is great but also god it's nice to wake up at the right time and realise it's still light and sunny outside
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#happy posting#we keep getting that thing of like ''oh it feels like this time last year''#but this year up to now feels way longer. like I'm guessing because we've been trying to do different stuff and vary the things we do#it's probably made it feel like time's going slower so it feels like it's been longer? maybe?#which is interesting and also exactly what I was hoping for because I hate the feeling of the months passing by so quickly#also we started putting together a little cleaning schedule and preparing for the summer SAD symptoms we get#because apparently late March/early April is when we suddenly go ''I can get my shit together now''#but also planning for summer in advance last year seemed to help and we're trying to use what we learnt from that to help this year too#it's kind of fun learning what makes us feel good both in terms of what's fun and what improves our mental health in the long run
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You should do a moodboard for the Swatchlings cause they’re cute uwu
OH and Jel La Fleur too cause jellyfish,,
This isn't even really a selfship board it's just the Swatchlings vague personality headcanons with my MS Paint sketch of them in the middle oops gkjgjk
La Fleur's feels a lot better to me
#Emile's Edits#Swatchlings#Jel La Fleur#Jelly Husband beloved <3#Thankyou Devin!!! I do need to think on the Swatchlings more I adore them#My beloved cheerleaders <3#La Fleur I had a pretty good idea heading into but the Swatchlings jdjfdjddjk Blank#POOR PURPLE ONCE AGAIN LEFT OUT#I included their color but they are not themselves present kfdjgkdfg#I COULDN'T FIND A TRANSPARENT OF THEM FDKJGFDKJGD#Augh these took me way longer than the ones last night crap... I'm getting SLOWER
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I’m thinking of a Tav and Durge run……. Canon appearance Durge lands on the shore next to the shipwreck and recruits Shart, Astarion and Gale and my horrible little feylost bard (wip) lands near the grove and recruits Lae’zel, Wyll and Karlach.
Team 2 has their hang ups about each other;
Wyll and Karlach are put on edge by Tav’s twisting of words + blatant lack of transparency about everything because they have significant trauma and experience dealing with devils
Lae’zel is the bluntest most open person to ever exist and dislikes deception, Tav is used to dealing with beings unable to be straightforward and speaks in riddles
Wyll and Karlach want to save the tieflings, Lae’zel thinks they should suck up and the goblins aren’t their problem and they should get to the creche before they all fucking die, Tav struggles with the concept of returnless charity and how the druids doing this is morally wrong
I think Wyll implies that he doesn’t like bards in one of his lines and I find that extremely funny. But yeah, it makes sense, he’s a folk hero, he’s probably been harassed by volo-esque people before.
But they generally get on pretty well-
Tav, being a bard tasked with regaling their Archfey with tales of the other realms, is very eager to hear about the astral plane and the Blade’s adventures. (And is immensely respectful of their boundaries since anything less is prone to be a sentence worse then death with the fey) Both of them love talking about it. Karlach jokingly calls them dorks (affectionate). Tav could also bond with Lae’zel over adjusting to different planes.
Tav also has ridiculously high charisma. Their original build is an Eloquence bard Fey wanderer lol. They’re very polite, charming and fun to be around in general.
Wyll, Lae’zel and Karlach just get along well canonically! Wyll and Lae’zel swap tales and like listening to each other. Lae’zel and Wyll both admire Karlach iirc. Karlach calls Lae’zel a lunatic (affectionate) who she couldn’t bear losing, and yeah really likes Wyll. He’s a ridiculously morally upstanding guy, and stuck his neck out for her at significant price to himself (which, as she tells you, hasn’t happened to her for… at least fifteen years? Not sure on the age)
And all in all- the group has a good sense of camaraderie and is pretty cheerful, considering their circumstances.
Group 1 on the other hand is a hot mess-
Durge oscillates wildly between gleefully indulging the urge and being terrified and confused about it. Is this normal? This isn’t normal. Why is this happening to him? Hates Fel.
Shadowheart trusts absolutely nobody here, and as they progress through the village gets increasingly stressed as to why her goddess is torturing her.
Astarion is having the best time he’s had in centuries, but is vaguely wary and on edge about everybody. (Yes, he is sleeping with the extremely powerful and dangerous dragonborn for security, but is that really a win when said dragonborn rips people’s guts out while cackling at the slightest inclination?) (Don’t get him wrong, it’s hilarious, he just thinks the ripping out guts could use a little more… discretion.)
Gale is going to explode. Gale is coming to terms with his inevitable demise, surrounded by people with barely an inkling of diplomacy in them.
They eventually meet, and Shadowheart (who fully assumed that she’d escaped the githyanki) despairs when she sees Lae’zel. It takes a few seconds for them to start arguing. The teams end up grouping up because of the tadpole threat, It’s all very tense. Tav is just happy they have a healer and a cook now.
#this is pure self indulgent rambling since gfn doesn’t let you play multiplayer by yourself 😔😔😔#this is but a setup for my Master Plan (Shartzel even-slower-burn)#I’M CALLING THEM TAV BECAUSE I HAVEN T NAMED THEM. (<- really bad at naming characters) (on the upside a lot of my ocs are immune to having#their names stolen by the fae)#capslock#t3xt#bg3#alternatively they don’t team up for longer but that might lead to one group getting inslaved by the absolute#or them killing each other over the grove/tieflings#honestly in general even without a Tav and Durge#the comps initially forming split groups is a p interesting concept to me
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Ok ok final thing b4 i go back to what i was doing b4 and not being distracted. But 1 thing i hate abt omori is that like. I cant SAY anything abt it like everyone already KNOWS i cant be like "ogh the symbolism here " BC EVERYONES HEARD OF THE SYMBOLISM THERE likeeee . Its smth i rlly like abt jrwi bc like u basically always have New things to say bc theres accidental foreshadowing allll the time (and also purposeful but tbh most is like smth vaguely said in ep10 which predicts an entire arc or smt) and since its hundreds of hours long, ppl forget things n can be reminded and likeee since its dnd which is so imagination based, theres so much room for interpretation. But w omori its like. I could be like Damn Yea This Rlly IS Like Depression and veryones like Yea. Thats The Point.
#night thoughts#its mostly like. i rlly like how the pace of hs rlly does feel so accurate to what depression n escapism is LIKE#bc like. everythings seems to get sorta slower and longer and more convoluted as time goes on#to the point where being in headspace feels sorta mind numbing#BUT the thing is ik thats just me bc loads of ppl rlly like headspace n ik a lotta ppl have said#that the way the rw is almost more boring than hs and how they couosnt wait to get back to bed is also rlly like fitting#AND THATS TRUE#but for me hs always felt so slow and just. like trekking up a mountain#AND THATS WHAT DEPRESSION N ISOLATION FEEL LIKE#after spending so much time just as Nothing time just kinda stops existing#and the few chances u do go outside n see friends. seems like kickstarting ur brain#n suddenly ur not wallowing in numb lethargy but ur EXISTING#and sometimes it does feel like ud prefer to be in the Slow and Comfortable isolation#until u realise that just huge contrast in urself#idk maybe im tryna make it relate to myself too much#bc i first played it a bit under a year ago when i was in a massive rut and never went outside n never talked to anyone#til one day i decided to go on a walk just. on a whim#and i saw a cat on that walk and like. i see cats round town all the time#but just bein on a walk n feelin the air n seein the cat was the most id felt in months#and idk yea#ANYWAYS back to not being distracted.
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looking back at this year is funny because i was on a whole different plane of emotional vulnerability and disassociation from reality for most of it from the #grief and now i look back and im like why was i so upset over six litmag rejections
#like the rabbit knows how to bury itself got ten rejections alone LOL#to be fair to me these were stretched over a year and i was scared I wouldn’t get a pub this year#also combining that with doing litmag stuff and exposing myself to the wider community gave me a lot of impostor syndrome#which like why was I comparing myself to people 10+ years older than me who have been writing way longer too ???#but like no story of mine got more than 2 rejections and two of them got acceptance on the first sub LOL i think I���ve just been so out of i#and there was no strategy really!!! just luck#I was rly focused on where I submitted too rather than doing big wide scopes to just get published anywhere#which is slower but feels more intentional and better for me#but also I do want to submit a lot more next year which means I will get rejected way more#I never did rejection goals bc those are out of my control but maybe a sub goal?#like i made 9 subs this year lol. 6 rejected 2 accepted 1 withdrawn
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(Non-story) Don't burn urself out! You dont have to get everything out so quickly! We can wait! - Lollipop anon
((ok that's cool to hear thank you /gen))
#not story#ask#anonymous#lollipop anon#still hovering around on tumblr rn been mindlessly scrolling#still not gonna draw anything else tonight tho#my brain likes to say if i take too long on something that people will get upset so this is reassuring#because Wow i cannot get in the drawing mood anymore tonight#like as much as i like doing this my brain's like 'nah. can't'#tomorrow tho. will motivate myself#not like right away first thing when i wake up but. sometime#just need a tiny small break and then might be a little slower on answering things#autism brain really kicking my ass out here#if i make the tiny small break turn into a longer break then that will make it harder to start back up and#i don't want this to feel like a chore. i mean it doesn't but i'm just saying sometimes my brain needs a break#am i making any sense. you get it right. you guys get it
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