#which is slower but feels more intentional and better for me

[foxmulderautism]

looking back at this year is funny because i was on a whole different plane of emotional vulnerability and disassociation from reality for most of it from the #grief and now i look back and im like why was i so upset over six litmag rejections

[neodazed]

enhypen - 🎀 - raw offer

enha!xfem!reader - letting them hit raw for the first time

includes: hee, jay, jake, riki (cuz i didnt think it fit for sunoo and hoon that much, and i have a longer similar fics for won coming up)

warnings: unprotected sex (obviously), breeding kink, mentions of actual breeding, rough sex, pull and pray, creampies, lowkey implied noncon BUT ITS CON, reader is different in all lol, lmk if i missed smth

guys dont mind the header not being pretty im in a depressive episode rn my asks are open tho

masterlist

HEESEUNG

Top three raw lovers in Enha for sure.

Like, he has been wanting to do it raw since your very first time, but that was unfamilair terrority for you, so he didn’t push it.

But you were able to see it.

The subtle distaste on his face every time he unpacked the condom, and positioned himself, feeling the latex keeping him from feeling your pussy around him.

Maybe he couldn’t help it, maybe he did it on purpose, so you’d feel bad and just give in to his (your) desires.

Whether it was intentional or not, it was working. You got that damn Plan B after pills, you doubled the punctuality of your already instense everything shower, and now you are ready.

Well, mostly. Still nervous, and thinking about all the possible way this could go wrong, or like, what if it won’t even feel any better and you did all that for nothing? Embarassing. You better see those dark bambi eyes roll back to know it was worth it.

His reaction to this is already paying off a big part though.

‘Oh yeah? You did that just for me?’

You nod, a little shy under his deep gaze. He’s currently hovering over you in bed, after a long makeout session you literally broke with saying “I bought Plan B”. First, he was taken aback, then he started to smirk like he is doing now, which you weren’t sure what kind of smirk was, somewhat unusal.

‘You want me to fuck your little pussy raw?’ Heeseung tiltshis head to the side, one of his hands already in your tiny sleeping shorts. It’s kinda weird, because that wasn’t originally your idea, but…you do want it, right? So you nod, not even sure if it was a real question.

He suddenly grips your jaw, harsh, and forces a firm eyecontact.

‘With words, Y/N. Answer me.’

Oh so it is.

‘I-I do…’ — Clearly still not enough — ‘I want you to fuck my pussy raw’ A messing blush that you are, seriously. Way too crude.

When he pushes in, you start to get why he’s kinda obsessed with this idea.

He’s obviously a lot more into it now, judging by the way he’s snapping his hips forward, and bruising your tights by gripping them so hard.

And…

‘Fuck, I’m coming inside. I can, right? — He answers his own question before you could even breathe — Of course I can. I’m filling you up, I’m- gonna breed you full’

Wait, pause.

Full? Breeding? That’s not-

Suddenly, he’s roughly rubbing your bundle of nerves, and the words on your throat die and evolve into whimpers of pleasure. He takes that as a firm ‘yes’.

His cum is hot inside you.

JAY

God, you're both so into it.

You were literally just both hesitant to bring it up without sounding like an absolute freak to the other.

Because it wasn’t just the feeling of each other without layers — it was the feeling of the risk, the possibility.

What would happen if he actually ended up impregnating you? No one really cares about that in the moment when a specific wish slips out of your lips as he drags the red, angry head of his cock to your cervix and back with every thrust.

‘Please, Jay, i-inside’

His hips shatter, pausing for a minute.

‘Inside? Baby, are you sure?’

Despite his question, he’s still not stopping entirely, his slower, but deeper thrusts keeping you both on edge.

‘Yes, yes-please, come inside’

No more reluctance, just his hand finding your throat, pinning you to the bed and pounding his big load into your eager cunt. When he pulls out after the last thrust, he sees his cum drip out of you. Might be the prettiest sigh he’ve ever seen.

Yeah, he might have ran for Plan B after this, but it was pretty hot.

JAKE

You and Jake are at a party. You came with some of your friends, but as the night went on, you eventually separated from them.

Some shots down, a little bit of dancing (your back aligning with Jake’s chest and ass grinding back against his crotch), he pulls you into a bathroom upstairs. No questions, just sloppy kisses, dress pushed up, belt hitting the floor, boxers and panties pulled to the side.

You are both tipsy, so even you, who is usually the more thoughtful and cool headed one, loses focus, which results in you only noticing that Jake is bare, when he has already pushed the swollen head past your rim.

‘Jake, wait! You didn’t put on a condom!’ You gasp, grabbing his shoulders.

‘Babe, we don’t have a condom!’ He whines into your neck. He stopped when you told him to wait, but he is still half-buried inside of you, and doesn’t make a move to pull out.

You’re ready to scold him and tell him to pull the fuck out, but when you make eye contact with him, you already know you’ll let him. Because damn he’s good at this whole ‘desperate, almost crying but holding on’ look.

And yes, he was a whiny mess.

‘Ah, Y/N, fuck. You feel so good- why haven’t we done this before?’

And you would smack him for that if it wasn’t so good.

RIKI

It all started with running out of condoms and the sentence ‘I’ll just grind down, I won’t put it in’.

And now Riki’s long, thick length is sliding through your folds, drawning out low groans of him and soft gasps from you. He is pulling your soaked thongs aside with one hand, and grips himself with the other, pumping his whitish liquid out of the angry head of his cock onto your mound.

He also leans down to give those sloppy kisses of his just in the right moments, and the way he licks into your mouth and pushes his hard shaft against your clit makes you want to suck him in like a vacuum. Or whatever.

And, you know, it might have been too slippery, you might have been too lost in the moment to notice that he is, well…inside. You both let out probably the filthiest sound so far.

Warm. Hard. Pulsing.

Warm. Tight. Gasping.

Feeling each other deep inside without anything in the way had to be the hottest thing in the world.

And you couldn’t move.

‘Should I pull out?’ He asks, but he is still pressing you down, and he has pushed all the way in now.

He should. You’re not in the situation to just do it like this, but…

‘No, don’t’

It’s all a blurry mess of chase after that.

Long story short, he cums into your more than one time, and you leave your pretty white rings around even more times by the end.

[princessbrunette]

and what happens when rafe finally lets himself cum in bunny!reader

୭ 🐰 ✧ ˚. 🥛

he’d had a bad day, and the last thing he needed was for you to start your shit.

that’s how you ended up with your head down in the mattress, his foot up on the bed as he pounds you within an inch of your life. you’re a trooper— bless your heart, fucking back against him with the horniest, pornographic moans that no one would ever expect from a girl as sweet as you.

“give — give me babies, please!” you cry and his lips press together in irritation.

“dont start.” he warns, which to your ears means — continue.

“p—please wanna make you a daddy!” you mewl and he presses harshly on your arch when it falters.

“already your fuckin’ daddy, that’s not enough?” he remarks, continuing his abuse on your cunt.

“a— a real one!”

he slows for a moment — eyes fluttering shut before his bad mood takes over. “alright, you know what? y’think you’re a big girl? i’ll give you a fuckin’ baby. maybe that’ll teach you a lesson huh?”

you mewl happily as he holds you down, fucking into you in a selfish way he knew would drive him close to the finish line, balls slapping noisily against you. “think you can handle being swollen for nine months? huh? can’t wear any more of those little ass mini skirts that’s for sure.” he begins his rant, and your brows furrow. if you truly did have bunny ears, they would have perked up right about then — listening intently.

“hmmph—” you groan, not wanting to talk about that.

“gonna have a real— real life baby. all the time. you thought about that? that shits not sunshine n’fuckin’ rainbows kid. real, grown up responsibilities. yeah?” he’s mean, too rough and realistic and you squeal out, hand flying back to push his tummy.

“‘kay stop!” you cry out, and he does— pulling out and flipping you on your back when you’ve burst into inevitable tears.

“hey, you’re fine.” he holds himself over you, stroking your clammy forehead back as you sniffle.

“you were scary.” you complain, not having better words for the fact he just up and ruined your whole breeding kink.

“alright.” he sighs, shaking his head as he watches you calm down for a moment. “whats gonna make you feel better? huh? still want it?” his voice is softer, the irritable tinge just barely hidden. you nod shyly, blinking up wet spiky lashes.

he presses back into you, fucking you slower than before. you whine, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“you uh— would have been fine, you know. probably.” he speaks close to your ear, making you turn your head. “can— can still cum inside if you want.”

you nod, still emotional and he speeds up— concentrated with parted lips before he’s groaning. “thats it— that’s fuckin’ it. take it baby, there you go.” feeling your body go limp in total satisfaction as he fills you with his warm seed.

you hum, a deeply sated groan as your thighs twitch, savouring the feeling. “thank you daddy.” you smile, eyes unable to open at this point. you were all sleepy like you usually were after sex, and your tears had glued your eyes.

“yeah, don’t thank me just yet bun.” he blows out a breath before flopping to the side, lazily pulling you against him on the bed— not yet tending to the mess dripping out of you (and you probably would have fought to keep it there a little longer anyway)

what’s done was done, all he could do was cross his fingers and hope he hadn’t actually knocked you up.

୭ 🐰 ✧ ˚. 🥛

[fandomsmadness]

TBHX episode 8 rant

Hey, for once I'm not actively a wreck (just passively and internally curled up into a ball, not that that's much better)

Lucky Cyan is so precious omg. Heavy spoilers from this point on.

Before we start the breakdown, establishing timeline before I myself forget. Cyan survives a plane crash 23 years after commission (at 3 years old, I think someone said?) and by the time the episode ends we're 11 years from then, 34 years after commission and 2 years before Yang Cheng's whole...disaster.

Since I am apparently allegic to breaking down things in order, first up is religion. Jesus freaking Christ I did not expect that turn of events At. All. But it makes so much sense retrospectively!

Of course powers of luck would be distilled into a hope cult, of course she has a great singing voice, of course she was made a "sacred maiden" when she was not even hitting two digits of age. Her singing Neon Rain and its lyrics suddenly make a lot more sense now.

This shot killed me. I was not expecting religious commentary at all given what we knew of Lucky Cyan's background but I have to give it up for LHO, it's so well done.

There is a closely tied-in theme of exploitation here (and isn't that telling in and of itself) and I love how the episode took the time (it was noticeably slower paced to let this sink in, which I liked) to expound on the different types of exploitation and their extents, regardless of intentions.

I also loved (absolutely hated) how the Dean told Ms Zhao that she's exploiting the child, only for him to go and do it a whole other way, just without the money part. Morality really is subjective, but it doesn't stop exploitation from being exploitation.

Like girl really never had a break. She needs a hug.

Second - technically - on the list is that I am hyped about a character being from the media! I was really wondering how much censorship would be rampant to keep up trust value and now we have our answer:

A LOT.

But it also feels to me that the media is unfair and demands too much of heroes (as does everyone else, tbh). Expecting them to prevent every single accident (emphasis: accident) seems a bit of a stretch, and in airspace. It's impossible for heroes to monitor everything everywhere all the time, no matter the numbers. A singular accident leading to accusations and pointing fingers does seem far-fetched.

At the same time, what did they mean hero conflict? A hero couple in a scandal? Cyan's arc seems to be showing us the politics of the system through Liu Zhen far more than Lin Ling and Yang Cheng's understanding was able to fathom.

Me reading the subtitles: "Oh that's very particular wording." Liu Zhen two seconds after: "What do you mean?" Say what you want about Liu Zhen, but man undeniably has good reporting instincts. But I also think this means we will get to see Enlighter this arc too, or at least, the beginning of the fear org, whose name I have promptly forgotten.

Third on the list is trust value because hold on what do you mean it's always been like this.

Cyan has to be the daughter of a hero couple at this point. There's no way hero couples are suddenly introduced to us, Cyan has trust value out of nowhere, survives a plane crash with whisperings of "hero conflict" around it, for this to end up not being related to her trust value. It's fascinating how every single arc we've had so far have different stories on trust value.

And what was up with Yang Cheng and his 0 trust value when even the Bad Luck Calamity had 10?? What??

Other highlights:

Queen!

No wonder Queen is about order and decreasing chaos and seems very political, she has a reporter for a father (said father is increasingly suspicious as it goes but we ignore that for now). She's so poised at 14 and will likely meet Cyan soon through her dad I hope. Her statement about "wanting to overturn trust value" was also ringing multiple bells in my head somewhere.

Animation style

Gave me quite a few laughs, which was sorely needed in the middle of being deeply disturbed by how people treated Cyan.

X(?)

Idk, but that flyer's timing seemed very fishy. The X marks the spot on the treasure map, Queen striving to be X, even the cross behind Cyan's silhouette looking like an X there's a lot less subtle X references in this episode. The aforementioned scandal may kick off another hero tournament.

The good luck/bad luck combo

This is so precious and he's totally going to die isn't he? But he's the only one who seems to see Cyan as a person and not a means to be exploited until now.

Overall, great introductory episode, fuck the dean, and we have two years to go before we know Cyan is on stage performing while Xia Qing cries.

Also, I love her song. That is all.

[strlvvr]

my best friend’s brother (is the one for me) - part two

part two!! i’m so excited for this series guys

word count: 945 words

read part one here !

⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ୭ৎ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚

all i’ve been able to think about is the interaction between me and matt. the way he whispered in my ear, the hand on my back, the way he played with my hair, how he got up to “go to the bathroom”. i knew exactly why he had to get up. it was kinda hard to ignore honestly.

“i’m going to bed, you coming?” nick asked me as he was getting up and putting his blanket away.

“no, i’m not too tired yet,” i moved over on the couch a bit to grab my drink, trying to ignore matt’s stare.

“well i’m gonna go to my room for the night.” chris said, also putting away his blanket and grabbing his drink, heading down the stairs to his room.

me and matt stayed quiet for a couple more minutes, just watching whatever was on after the crow. 

“just us now…” matt said quietly, grabbing the remote to put something else on. he decided on inception, another one of my favorite movies, which he knew.

“2010 was leo’s best year for movies,” i moved to face matt to debate with him over this.

“oh yeah? and why’s that?” matt asked with a smile. this is a topic we discuss often.

“well he had inception AND shutter island come out that year. arguably two of his best movies.” he just watched as i ranted about leo dicaprio and just movies in general. chiming in with yeahs and acknowledgments, but letting me talk. i swear for a second, i almost saw a look of love in his eyes. 

i quickly dismissed the thought and let myself get lost in the movie after my rant. i moved over to back over to matt, missing the comfort of being in his arms. he gladly pulled me into him and we sat like that for most of the movie, only moving to grab more snacks or our drinks.  

as the movie started ending, i felt matt’s breathing get slower, subtle snores leaving his mouth. i looked around and saw the mess left by nick and chris and sighed, knowing we had to clean it up. i started to get up to get a start on the cleaning, but matt, half asleep, pulled me back down, mumbling something i didn’t quite hear. 

“mmm stay here.” he grumbled, tightening his grip on my waist.

“matt, we have to clean up the garbage..” i whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear me and let go. unfortunately he did and loosened his grip, letting me get up. he slowly got up, grabbing the candy wrappers around him and followed me towards the kitchen.

“nick’s probably asleep already.” he pointed out, grabbing more garbage from the table. 

“yeah..” i put away our blankets and fixed up the couch.

“you can always come sleep with me.” he said quietly, watching me walk around the living room to find the remote. “it’s over there,” he pointed to where we had just been sitting. 

i chuckled, grabbing the remote and turning the tv off. 

“i think i might take you up on the offer,” i said, searching for any sign of regret on his face, finding none.

he put the last piece of garbage away and started walking to his room, stopping and looking back to see if i was following him. once i grabbed our phones, i headed toward him and his room.

no matter how many times i’ve slept in here, it always feels awkward at first. he always points out how i sleep better in his bed, and i always blame it on how comfy his bed is, even though it has nothing to do with his bed but everything to do with him. 

he walked over to the bed, pulling back the blankets and getting in. i stayed put by the door, just watching him awkwardly.

“are you just gonna stand there all night?” he questioned me, pulling the blanket off the other side of the bed for me.

“i was thinking about it,” i walked over to my side and got in, immediately being met with the softness of his blanket and the smell of his cologne. i grabbed his remote to put on some random show. we debated on a couple before deciding on family guy. staying on our respected sides while intently watching the show we’ve both seen hundreds of times, not daring to move closer to each other. as if we weren’t just cuddling on the couch and falling asleep together out there. 

it was different in his bed though. almost like it was too intimate to cuddle in a bed. we wouldn’t dare take that step in our friendship, even if we would wake up like that anyway. the more tired i got, the less i cared. i moved closer to him, feeling him do the same. he put his arm out, signaling for me to lay on him. none of us said anything, we stayed watching the tv. there was an understanding between us that it was a comfortable silence.

‘this is normal, there’s nothing deeper to this. just two friends cuddling and watching tv.’ i thought, feeling him play with my hair and rub the leg i snuck onto him. i was trying to ignore the flutter in my stomach with every move of his thumb on my thigh and pushing away all the thoughts that snuck into my mind. 

slowly i started to fall asleep in matt’s arms. right before i fell asleep, i felt him reach for the remote to turn off his tv.

“goodnight baby.” he whispered, before kissing the top of my head and falling asleep himself.

tag list:

@beersangel @whoseyouare @wh0schl0 @st7rnioioss @slutsformatt @h3arts4harry

[temis-de-leon]

Replaced MC AU/AU - Intro

Characters: demon brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, gn!MC and gn!NES (New Exchange Student)

Main Masterlist

Replaced MC AU/AU Masterlist (check all the versions and learn more about the NESs!)

CW: insecure and jealous MC, condescending Diavolo and Lucifer, they like that you're jealous but they mean no harm

.

The brothers tried not to smile when they saw MC’s pout, most of them enjoying their insecurity to some extent and letting it feed their egos. It was flattering, seeing them jealous of the possible presence of a new human, the threat of being replaced by the newest atraction. And although MC knew they didn’t really want to cause any harm, it was impossible not to feel a pang in their chest when they saw how interested the demons were in bringing another human.

“But I don’t understand” they said “Why do you need another exchange student from the human realm? You already have Solomon and me”

Diavolo laughed and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at their frown with condescendence before bringing his serious diplomatic expression back and explaining himself once again, this time slower.

“We think the program could work better if there was a human more similar to you, someone with a normal lifespan and a more… naive understanding of magic”

“Having Solomon as the second human student would only slow the process of building a relationship with the human realm” intervened Lucifer with a know-it-all smile.

“We need another human that acts like a human” concluded the prince.

But still, it didn’t make any sense. Having a regular human wouldn’t speed the process, not unless they were an important political figure, in which case it wouldn’t be a regular human anymore; and even then, two humans on their own would never be able to convince the whole world to accept Diavolo’s offer.

Their explanation sounded like a convenience and MC suspected with a heavy heart that what the royals and the brothers really wanted was something different that could expand their knowledge on the modern human society; as if MC was a comfort plushie from their childhood that would be there no matter how abandoned they felt.

They didn’t want to hurt their feelings, MC knew that, but lying made everything worse. What if the new exchange student brought more than they could ever offer, even with their powers? What if they were prettier or more interesting or stronger? What if MC wasn’t enough anymore?

“You’ll always be our favourite human, MC” murmured Belphie with a soft smile, guessing their thoughts.

He said it with good intentions, no doubt, but MC grew angry nonetheless. What made him think he was the right one to say that? He, who wanted to destroy all human mankind over a grudge and a misunderstanding, suddenly wanted to meet more humans?

MC scoffed and crossed their arms, knowing the new student would be there no matter how jealous or insecure that made them feel.

“And when will they be here?”

.

.

Just one month passed until they were all present in the castle, impatiently waiting for the new human to arrive.

The brothers had spent everything they had on MC: free time, money and words of affirmation, but none of that seemed to have any type of importance when they all looked so happy to be there.

Only half of them were there the first time MC arrived, for crying out loud!

“Is everyone ready?” Barbatos asked stepping into the red circle engraved on the floor.

He didn’t wait for an answer before opening the portal. Had he waited, MC would’ve begged for a couple of minutes. They felt their heart beating in their throat, acting like an obstacle for the bile that threatened to come out.

A figure appeared with a flash of light, gasping and grasping their chest with urgency. The mist cleared within seconds and all of them stared at the new human with open wide eyes, simply watching as they got up on their feet, alarmed at their surroundings and looking at everyone like a prey amongst predators, which wasn’t that far off.

Not even a minute later, their gaze stopped on MC and their expression softened, instincts surely recognizing the only other human in the room.

“Hey”

.

.

.

I'm going to tag everyone who specifically asked me to tag them and some of those who wrote the positive feedback because i love you all (but if you don't want me to, just tell me, i won't get offended): @stfuchaase @k1-an @megs-wonderland @kkeromenoo @va109 @marvelous-maniac @cruzerforce4256 @blarsh @marathedemonoverlord @junni-berry

[vxperorchist]

You're staring, again. (Cyno, Tighnari, and Childe x Reader)

Scenario: Where they catch you staring!

Warnings: None!

Theme: Fluff!

Is it just me or do you guys love eye contact??

Cyno

Cyno was equally as guilty at staring at you, however, he always went unnoticed. He'd watch you from afar when you two were together, if he was occupied and you were in his vicinity, his eyes were on you.

He did it out of instinct to protect you, something he had to do for people frequently, but you were much more valuable to him. He had caught you watching him quite a few times, he shook it off as nothing, giving you a head tilt or a nod when you locked eyes with him. You did it because you adored him. You loved how his eyes flicked so rapidly from object to object, how alert he was everywhere he went, how his muscles tensed in public or when he became alert.

You would lay in his lap while he was on the couch, one hand fell into your hair, rubbing your scalp while the other was busy writing things on paper. You looked up at him and watched as his eyes hovered over every word carefully. He eventually looked down at you, and you couldn't look away quick enough. He smiled down at you, his hand shuffling through your hair once more. "You're staring, again." He laughed quietly, not breaking the eye contact the two of you had initiated. Looking into his eyes was hypnotic, he didn't realize it himself, but his eyes were beautiful. You smiled and twisted your head into his stomach, his hand then traced down your head to your back, aimlessly rubbing circles down your back. He was so gentle, and only you got to see this side of him which made it 10x better.

Tighnari

Tighnari didn't exactly catch onto your staring tendencies quickly, he was typically too busy to notice the way you'd watch his every move with such loving intent. He felt bad, he really did, for missing out on so many moments with you due to work. He tried to make it up to you as best as he could, whether that was letters, flowers, or the quiet moments at night where he'd hold you tightly against him.

When he does notice he's you watch him, he goes a little shy and nervous. He'd been dating you for a time, but still blushed around you like you were his elementary school crush. He would avoid your gaze when he made eye contact with you, typically smiling it off or turning away. You made him nervous in a good way, a way that he loved you and was still so shy around you.

Your eyes would fall upon him in the mornings when he had to leave bed much earlier than you did, he would wake you up by accident, leaving you to the empty bed with nothing to do but watch as he shuffled quietly throughout your shared room getting ready. He was adorable in the mornings, a little slower, gentler, and so so sweet. He'd always caress your face before he left for work, he held your face gently and gave you a light kiss. He realized this time you were awake, he noticed as your eyes hovered all over him, eventually meeting his eyes where he tried to dodge your gaze by putting his forehead on yours, but you couldn't help but feel his smile as he let up.

Childe/Tartaglia

He was also another guilty starer. However, he had no shame in letting you know he was watching you, just as you watched him. The two of you were both in awe of each other, admiring eachothers every movement. This allowed you to be so connected physically, the two of you knew each other's movements like the back of your hands.

Tartaglia loved staring down at you when he talked to you, always maintaining eye contact, attempting to make you nervous or get a reaction out of you. He'd smile down at you, watching every fidget you made as he gave you no choice but to look into his eyes. His eyes were also very beautiful, allowing one to get trapped in his eyes.

Tartaglia loved calling you out on your staring, with phrases like "Whatcha looking at?" Or "Something catch your attention?" He knew very well he was what you were looking at, and he was what caught your eye all those times. He loved doing it because he'd love the way you smile in the embarrassment of getting caught. He absolutely adored it every time, and it's one of the many things he loves about you. He loves the way you're always looking out for him, and he loves knowing he's the only one you'll look at that way.

[episims]

A very personal update under the cut, if you're here for the sims content only it's not worth your time.

Tbh I'm only here for the sims content too, but I decided to share this as it's possible someone has noticed that I've opened Tumblr occasionally lately, and posted even more rarely.

I've dealed with cyclical depression for most of my life. I'm inclined to say I can handle it and I've kept saying so, but recently I had to admit that I'm really not handling it anymore.

No reason for anyone to worry. I'm not in any danger, I have meds and a care plan now. It has already helped and I feel more like myself than I have for a few years, but sadly I'm still lacking energy to get much done. And at this point it's starting to be painfully clear that there's no telling when that'll change.

Sims is a getaway for me, one that I value and have no intentions to abandon. But for the time being, my posting schedule is wildly unpredictable. I will continue playing the Foxfire round, but the pace is very likely slower than before, which sucks for me too, but such is life.

I'm posting this as a heads up for those who might care, not to get wishes to get better or sympathy of any kind. I get why some react like that and I appreciate the thought, but I'm quite tired of talking about my condition on any level, as I've needed to do that plenty of late.

I'm not the only one who has it hard, either. Hugs to everyone who needs any.

[upat4amwiththemoon]

The stars

Summary: I see my lover when I look at the stars.

Pairing: Carol Danvers x female!reader

Warnings: sexism, men, it’s the 80s, some angst

Word count: 3902

a/n: second chance romance trope, I’m so happy with this you guys!!

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

1985

Pancho’s bar wasn’t the fanciest place to work at as a young woman, especially because most of the customers are men from the air force. Their favorite past time besides drinking is trying to seduce Y/N, and get her number. But she isn’t interested in them, and never will be, though that’s something she’ll keep to herself. At least the constant flirting leads to good tips, which will eventually help her get out of the bar.

Y/N dries a glass with a rag now that she has some downtime. The rush time will start soon, so she wants to prepare for it to the best of her abilities. There are few regulars sitting either at a table or by the bar, but she knows they’ll let her know if they need anything, otherwise they like to quietly drink to their sorrows.

When the bell by the door rings, Y/N quickly glances at the new customers way, she only sees the air force logo on their clothes, making her roll her eyes. They’re out early today. She sets the cleans classes to their places and washes her hands, taking a deep breath, she gets ready for the onslaught of vulgar words.

“Hey, could we get two beers?”

Her head snaps up when she hears the feminine voice. Two women are standing in front of her with the air force clothes on and friendly smiles on their faces. Y/N stares at them with wide eyes for a moment. Sure every now and then women wonder into the bar, but she has never seen air force women come in.

Y/N regains her composure and grabs two beer glasses. “Sure thing! Which beers would you like?” Her customer service voice is cheery and slightly more high pitched than her normal one.

“Sierra Nevada, please.”

“Coming right up.” As Y/N moves to the taps to pour the beers, the two women start whispering and throwing looks between each other. Without Y/N noticing, the blonde woman’s gaze moves to places her eyes shouldn’t go. “Here you go.” She sets the beers in front of them.

“Thanks,” the woman glances at Y/N’s name tag, “Y/N. I’m Carol.” She hands some bills to pay for both of the drinks. “And this is Maria.” Carol states when she gets nudged to her side by the other woman.

“Nice to meet you.” Y/N says, her voice slower as she tries to figure out her intentions. Carol’s tone is similar to the multiple men who like flirt with her, though more genuine sounding, but surely that’s not what she is doing with her. “Here’s your change.”

“Keep it.” Carol winks before she and Maria go over to a table and sit down, leaving flustered Y/N at the bar.

She pockets the tip and start rearranging the dishes, trying to occupy her mind from wandering to incredibly good looking Carol.

When the clock strikes midnight, the bar is already at full swing. People are dancing to the loud music coming from the jukebox, and occasional bursts of laughter can be heard from the tables full of men, drunk men.

Y/N has been moved from behind the bar to the floor, bringing back empty classes and taking people’s drink orders. Because the other workers are men, they believe having a woman on the floor is better for business.

“Hey, sweetheart!” A drunken air force soldier shouts from a table full of them. He is waving his hand around in a come here motion. With a sigh, Y/N puts on her best smile and makes her way over to their table. “How much for a pretty girl like you to sit with us?” He waves a wad of cash in the air, his mouth formed in a grin that show his teeth. The others are staring at the two like it’s the best entertainment they’ve ever seen.

“Unfortunately I don’t have time to sit with customers. Is there anything else I could get you?” She smiles, holding a tray under her arm. She wants out of the situation, not liking the feeling of all the men’s eyes on her.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart.” The way the man says sweetheart makes Y/N want to gag. “Aren’t you supposed to do anything the customer want, eh? Besides, girls love money, don’t they?”

“I have to go help other customers, let me know if you want more drinks or something to eat.”

As Y/N goes to walk away from the table, the man grabs her arm. “Well hold on a second,” he slurs his words, “I ain’t done with you yet.”

Huffing, she glares at the man. She’s starting to get annoyed. “Listen, mister, I’m working right now, and have to attend to other customers as well.” Her voice has lost its cheery tone. “So, let me go.”

“Ooh, feisty!” One of the other man at the table comments. It makes the other laugh loudly, and enrages Y/N. She is aware this is a man’s world, but she is not going to be their entertainer.

Before Y/N can retaliate, someone else steps in to her rescue. “Hey. She said to let her go.” Carol stands next to her with her back straightened and shoulders pulled back. “So let her go.” Her voice is low, and her eyes are cold. She looks like someone you don’t want to mess around with.

“Well look at you,” the man scoffs, “it’s the wannabe soldier.” He sneers.

“Let the lady go, I’m warning you.”

“Oh, you’re warning me?” He stands up, still holding onto Y/N’s arm. All the humor has left him. “And what are you going to do about it?” He stands slightly taller than Carol, but it doesn’t seem to deter her.

The tension between the two start to grow. Y/N stands there, frozen, keeping her eyes on Carol. She doesn’t want to deal with this right now, her shift is supposed to end soon.

Suddenly, Carol raises her fist, and punches the man square in the jaw. He stumbles backwards into the chair he was sitting in, finally letting go of Y/N. “You bitch!” He shouts, wiping blood away from his lip. He goes to stand up, but before the situation escalates any further, one of the other bar workers come to escort him out.

“You okay?” Carol turns to look at Y/N once the men are out of the bar.

“Yeah,” she rubs the spot the man was holding onto, “thanks for helping.” Her mouth grows into a small smile. “That was kinda amazing.”

Grinning, Carol shrugs. “I have a things for saving pretty ladies who happen to work at this bar.”

Y/N lets out a small laugh as she shakes her head. “Okay, superhero.” Her voice is playful, but she can feel her cheeks flushing. “I have to get back to work now.”

“When do you get off?” Carol follows Y/N around while she picks up empty glasses.

“In twenty minutes.”

“I’ll walk you home,” she states, “me and Maria, I mean. You shouldn’t walk alone this late at night.”

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek. She glances at Carol, feeling warmth rush over her body when she sees the hopeful look on her face. “Alright. I’ll see you in twenty.” Giving her a smile, she returns back behind the bar.

Carol has a huge grin on her face as she stares at Y/N work. “What did I miss?” Maria walks over to her, having been occupied by beating a man’s ass in pool.

“We’re walking her home.”

Maria glances at Y/N, and nudges Carol’s side with a smirk. “You like her.”

“Maybe.”

1987

The front door of Y/N’s small, crappy apartment slams shut as she comes home from her shift at Pancho’s bar. It’s late at night, Y/N is exhausted, and she is sweaty, and she just wants to fall asleep without worrying about anything.

She throws her keys somewhere on top of the dresser she has next to her front door, and kicks her work shoes out of her feet. “Jesus!” A shout leaves out of her mouth when she turns around. Carol is standing there with a sheepish smile and a bouquet of flowers. “You scared the crap out of me.” She mumbles, holding a hand on her racing heart. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry.” Carol sets the flowers next to Y/N’s key. “You gave me a key, so I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t remember you were working so late.” Her voice isn’t radiating the confidence it usually is. It’s softer and nervous.

The bouquet is big, it has more flowers Y/N has ever gotten before, and it’s wrapped with pink paper. “Thank you.” She smiles, picking up the bouquet and going to her so-called kitchen to put the flowers in a vase.

Carol follows her, staying close by, but still giving her space, she can see how tense Y/N’s body is. “Tough day at work?”

“Something like that.”

It turns quiet while Y/N fills a vase with water from the tap. The apartment doesn’t have any separate rooms besides the bathroom. All the kitchen appliances, a bed, small couch and a television are within reach of each other. It’s definitely not something Y/N wants to spend her whole life in, but she can survive in it, and that’s enough for now.

“How long were you waiting?” The vase gets set down to the single counter she has in the kitchen area.

Glancing at the clock, Carol hums. “Like, a couple of hours, maybe.”

“Carol,” Y/N sighs and rubs the space between her eyes, “you should’ve gone to sleep, don’t you need to be at the base tomorrow?”

“I took a day off.”

“Why would you do that?”

“To spend time with you.” The way Carol’s voice is so gentle makes Y/N want to cry after the day she has had.

Today’s shift felt ten times worse than any other shift in the past, it was full of drunk men and angry customers who genuinely believed in the fact that customer is always right, even when they aren’t. On top of that, her manager thinks the customers are more important than his employees, so he always found a way to satisfy the angry customers, which made them see Y/N as the bad guy.

“Hey,” Carol’s hands go to her cheeks, rubbing them softly, “why are you crying?”

“Sometimes I can’t handle it all.” She gets pulled into a warm embrace. “I was supposed to get out of here ages ago and see the world, but I just can’t get out of here.” Y/N sobs quietly, trying to hold herself back so she wouldn’t ruin Carol’s clothes with her tears and snot.

But Carol doesn’t care. One of her hands is rubbing Y/N’s back, while the other rests at the back of her head. She stays quiet, letting Y/N sob it all out in peace.

The two have been officially seeing each other for a while now. For the first year and a half they mostly danced around each other, both too anxious to make the first move in case they got the wrong impression, and the other person wasn’t interested in women after all. However, during that time, they became very close friends, so when Carol finally did do the first move—thanks to Maria—they moved forward pretty quickly.

Once Y/N tears start to subside, Carol whispers, “take a shower, I’ll make you a snack and ready your bed for us, okay?” Y/N nods, gives her a small peck to the cheek, and makes her way towards the bathroom.

Carol and Y/N are laying on top of each other on the bed as they watch a random movie that’s on one of the night channels. They should be asleep, but they really wanted to spend time with each other, as they don’t have a lot of opportunities to do so.

“Can i ask you something?” Y/N’s quiet voice almost goes past Carol.

“Yeah.”

“Why air force?”

“I’ve always wanted to fly.”

“Isn’t it scary?”

“No.” Carol smiles. She loves the feeling of being free in the air, having the possibility to go anywhere in the world she desires. Y/N hums quietly, not saying anything. “Why do you ask?” Carol tries to move her head in a way she’d be able to see Y/N’s face in the light coming from the television, while not disturbing her position on top of her.

“I just think it’s dangerous is all.”

“Are you worried about me?” She grins.

Y/N’s hand is resting under Carol’s shirt, tracing different shapes on her side. “Kind of hard not to be when i’m in love with you.” She whispers. The grin on Carol’s face falls at the words. She isn’t sure if she even heard her correctly, but she really hopes she did. Y/N moves her head up to see her. “I don’t want to lose you.”

The sentence assures Carol she heard correctly. “You won’t lose me, because I’ll always come back home to you. I love you.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

They kiss, both feeling the smiles on each other’s faces. Carol tightens her arms around Y/N as they pull away. She closes her eyes and listens to the soft sounds of Y/N’s breathing melting in with the sounds of the television, as they fall asleep.

1989

Y/N paces around her house, ruining her nails by biting them. Her eyes are locked on her phone. She is waiting for a call, from anyone, as long as someone calls her and tells her she is overthinking things, that Carol is okay. She has called Maria three times by now, and the air force base once, but none of the calls have been successful.

Carol was supposed to come over four hours ago, straight from work, but she hasn’t arrived yet, nor has she called Y/N to let her know she’ll be late, that’s what she usually does.

Groaning, Y/N picks up the phone and punches in Maria’s number, calling her again. “Come on, come on.” She mumbles, tapping her foot to the ground in a rapid pace. “Damn it!” The phone drops to the table with a crash, few plastic pieces flying off of it from the impact.

No one is answering.

She sits down to the couch, it creaks slightly every time someone moves on it, which had led to some uncomfortable make out sessions with Carol.

Most of her nails are already too short to bite, so she moves to the skin around her them, biting them until she bleeds. Her eyes are locked onto the muted television, desperately trying to distract herself from her thoughts. She is aware of her tendency to overthink and catastrophize things, she always thinks Carol is dead if she hasn’t called by the time she promised to, but that was never the actual situation. This is the same case. Carol isn’t dead, she just got caught up at the base. Nothing horrible has happened.

A knock on the door makes her body relax. Carol is finally here. She lets out a relieved laugh and goes to open the door, however, her face turns to a frown once she notices Maria standing behind it.

“Hey, where’s Carol?”

Maria looks tired. “Can I come inside?” As Y/N nods, she steps in and looks at the floor. “I think you should sit down.”

“Maria-“

“Please,” she looks up at her, “sit down.”

Y/N sits back down on the couch, while Maria stays standing up. She is gathering her thoughts while trying to take deep breaths. “Carol volunteered to pilot with Doctor Wendy Lawson on something important, and the plane, uhm..it-“

“Don’t you dare say it, Maria.” There are tears gathering in the corners of Y/N’s eyes. She knows where this is going, but she wishes she didn’t.

“The plane crashed.” Maria sits down next to Y/N when she starts properly crying. “They couldn’t find anyone, Carol is classified dead. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wanted to come tell you because no one else would’ve.” No one else knows about their relationship.

Not being able to say anything, Y/N just leans against Maria, who has started crying as well. The person they both consider closest to them, is dead.

1995

It has been a week since Carol helped the Skrulls to get out of the Kree’s line of fire, which means it’s been a week since she got her memories back. Ever since then, only one thing has been in her mind, her lover.

It’s early morning as Carol and Maria drink coffee in the latter’s kitchen, Monica still sound asleep upstairs. “What happened with Y/N when I disappeared?” Carol asks, her voice quite hesitant.

Maria sets her cup down. “I’m not sure. She was obviously pretty devastated when I told her what had happened.”

“She doesn’t still work at Pancho’s, does she?”

“I don’t think so,” Maria frowns, “but Carol, I haven’t talked to her in a long time. She stopped answering my calls three years ago. I don’t know where she is, or how she’s doing.”

Sighing, Carol stands up. “I have to find her.”

Naturally, the first place Carol goes to is Y/N’s apartment, though she really hopes she won’t find her there, that she moved on and started travelling the world like she planned to.

She knocks on the door and waits. Nothing happens, so she knocks again, just in case. She’s almost ready to let out a sigh of relief, but soft sound of footsteps coming from inside the apartment stop her. As the steps grow closer, a small, selfish part of her wishes it’s Y/N who opens the door.

Somehow she feels more pain than relief when the door opens, and Y/N stands before her.

They stare at each other, both stunned by the sight in front of them. Y/N has bags under her eyes, and her hair is messy. She is wearing an old t-shirt that once belonged to Carol, her legs are bare.

She goes to slam the door closed, thinking she has finally gone mad, but Carol’s hand stops it from moving. “You aren’t real.” Y/N’s voice is shaky. Her eyes are closed, she doesn’t want to see the person standing in front of her, because it can’t possibly be Carol.

“I’m real.” Carol whispers, but Y/N only shakes her head as an answer. “I didn’t die, I was captured by Krees after we crashed.”

“You aren’t making any sense, you aren’t real.”

“Can you let me in, please?” Gently, Carol sets her hand on top of Y/N’s hand, that is still holding onto the door. The touch makes Y/N open her eyes, and turn them towards Carol. She stares at her for a long while before opening the door wider.

As Carol walks inside the familiar apartment, she looks around for any changes, but it looks exactly the same as it did six years ago. She hates it. While Carol walks deeper into the tiny apartment, Y/N stays by the front door. Her arms are crossed over her chest in a protective kind of way.

“You weren’t supposed to stay here.”

“I couldn’t leave y-“ she stops herself, “Carol.” She isn’t entirely sure if the woman in her house truly is her Carol. “What happened? Who are the Kree?”

“It’s a long story.” She has a gentle grin on her face, one that reminds Y/N so much of the way Carol used to look at her. “You might want to sit down for it.” Y/N shakes her head, staying right where she is. Carol frowns, but nods, sitting down to the couch. It still creaks anytime weight gets put on it. “Shorter version of it is: when we crashed, Dr. Lawson told me the truth about her mission before he was shot by a Kree. Before he could kill me too, I destroyed an engine, which made me absorb energy of a Tesseract, so the Kree took me with him to their planet Hala. I was integrated to their society, I had no memories of my human life. A bunch of years later, I crashed back to Earth, a lot of fighting happened, I discovered my true power and my memories, and helped the Skrulls.”

“I don’t know what any of that means.” Y/N whispers. Any time Carol used to talk about air force things with her, she felt dumb, but all of this is making her think they aren’t even speaking the same language anymore.

“I was in space, and I have powers now.”

“Like a superhero?”

Carol smiles, nodding. “Yeah, I’m a real life superhero now.”

“You already were a superhero in my eyes.”

Standing up, she takes a few tentative steps towards her. All she wants to do is hold her, kiss her, tell her she’ll never leave her again. But Carol can still see the hesitation in Y/N’s eyes, she can see the years of pain and exhaustion in her expression.

“But then you died.”

Carol stops. She’s close to Y/N, but too far away to touch her. Oh, how desperately she just wants to feel her soft skin under her palm again, even if the years without her have hardened it. “I’m here now.” She pleads with her eyes—please believe me.

“You won’t stay,” Y/N states quietly, “if you’re a hero now.”

“I can take you with me, wherever I go. I won’t leave you again. I’ll help you get out of this place.” Carol takes another few steps forward, reaching her hand towards Y/N. “Please give me another chance.”

Y/N stares at her hand. It’s more calloused than before, rougher. She grips the skin on top of her ribs tightly, trying to ground herself, she feels like ripping herself apart.

“Please.” Her voice cracks. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears. “I can’t live without you.”

Y/N grabs her hand with her own shaking one. Carol squeezes with a smile, pulling her close slow enough that Y/N can stop her if she wishes to. Once they are chest against chest, she pulls her into a full embrace. The waterworks start from the both of them the second they’re in each other’s arms. Carol letting out all of the pent up grief she wasn’t even aware she had, and Y/N still trying to grasp the reality of the situation.

“I missed you.” Y/N chokes out between her sobs. “I missed you so much.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Carol holds onto her girl so tightly, pressing her against her body like she’d disappear if she let go. “I’m going to show you the world now, because you deserve so much better than this place. I’ll never let you go.”

Although, Y/N doesn’t trust in promises anymore, some small part inside of her sparks hope, that she’ll truly never be separated from Carol again. She’ll even go all the to the stars for her if she has to.

[plasticflowersinahistorycemetery]

please diva stop starting things and never finishing, i'm dying re reading all over your fics and this sounds like a hate message but actually it is, i hate u! finish all ur fics now so i can sleep in peace at night i can't this feels like an addiction! i open ur page and hope that u posted but u posted something new THAT U NOT GOING TO FINISH we are in a toxic relationship, im sorry if u always give and i always take but i can't i try to find another writer that it's better than u but not of them have what u have but they finish everything and u write masterpieces but let me wanting more I CANT DEAL every time u post a new fic i just know u not going to finish it so i read with a hole in my heart

okay i think this was satire (i hope??) but waking up to it still kinda stung ngl 💀

just for the record, bestie: i do finish most of my series! the only open ones right now are malevolence and eyes too close to let me, and even those are in-progress, not abandoned, i swear. inviolable and don’t lie to me were completed—i just got inspired to maybe add a final part to them later. the colour!/lustre! series is a little more spontaneous, but that’s the nature of it.

i’ve been quiet lately because i’ve been slipping back into depression after a two-month stint of pure mania, where writing felt like a full-time job (which was amazing but also, uh, definitely not sustainable). so if it feels like i’m starting and not finishing—i promise it’s not neglect, it’s just me trying to recalibrate and not burn out. <3

i love that people care about the stuff i write (i love that you care about the stuff i write!!!) this much, but i also need space to take care of myself between posts. pls know i’m still here, still writing, still planning to finish things—just a little slower than before.

also!! the new series i just started—it’s a cruel summer—is something i’m genuinely obsessed with. it’s made me feel excited and motivated to write again, and i will be finishing it as soon as i can. i’m already deep in it and loving every second. so pls don’t worry—this one’s not going anywhere.

i love you guys so much. really. i’m sorry if it ever feels like i’m letting you down—that’s never my intention. thank you for caring, even when the delivery is unhinged lmao. <3

edit: i just need to add that i do also have a job that i have to work on behind the scenes, as well as a 4 year old son i'm raising. so this blog is kinda, my safe space... which means i am already spending all of my free time pumping out fanfic.

[spideysl0ve]

݁ . 𔘓 ؛ sake 'n serenade

⇢ chapter 1

⇢ masterlist

⇢ series masterlist

⇢ akagami no shanks x bartender!reader.

⇢ tw: mentions of alcohol, kinda angsty, pre-luffy, english isn’t my first language.

⇢ summary: you, a bartender, navigates a chaotic night filled with pirates, flirtation, and unexpected vulnerability from the infamous shanks, leaving emotions and intentions hanging in the balance.

tonight definitely wasn’t your night; first your coworker called sick and you would be alone for the entire night, second your bar filled up with pirates that you weren't familiar with, and that only meant trouble and lastly and even worse, the coffee machine was working even slower than usual.

“at least it’s working” you said to yourself, drinking some already cold coffee after cleaning some dishes when suddenly you heard the door being open abruptly.

so abruptly you could swear it almost fell off, the bar fell silent as you came out of the kitchen and saw the infamous red hair pirates at the door, smiling proudly as they walked into the bar.

‘’the usual?’’ you asked.

‘’you already know the answer!’’ shanks laughed, making his crew erupt into laughter as if he told the best joke that humanity had ever heard

you shake your head with a faint smile on your lips starting to open up sake bottles and arranging them around the counter, the crew started to laugh and celebrate, picking up the bottles and getting comfortable around the bar.

‘’y/n, how’s the night going?’’ shanks sat before you while you prepared some meat to serve.

‘’as usual, you know, some drunks here, some mess there’’ he laughed with your statement. ‘’i didn’t say anything fun, or have i?’’ you chuckled lightly too, rolling your eyes, placing the meat on the counter.

‘’it isn’t that it’s i expected something more like..better now that i saw you, at least that would be my answer’’ he chuckled, full glass of sake in hand, which surprised you as he should be by his fourth one now.

‘’i’m not as charming as you’’ you teased back, he sighed, lowering his laughter.

‘’you look so beautiful tonight, you know’’ he smiled, flirting more clearly now.

‘’oh, shanks don’t start’’ you chuckled. ‘’you’re not even drunk yet’’

‘’you think i need to be drunk to tell the truth?’’ he teased, picking up your hand as you wiped the counter.

you blushed, looking into his deep eyes, staying silent, he meant it, really, he did.

‘’hey bartender! open un some more bottles!’’ a scream echoed over all the laughs.

‘’coming!’’ you screamed as shanks letting go of you, looking down, you opened up some more bottles and started to serve as the night went on.

when you came back to the counter shanks wasn’t there anymore, which actually made you feel a bit guilty, did he thought that you had rejected him in some way, it wasn’t that you didn’t like him, it was that just that you didn't want to be another one of his one night stands, but still you felt bad, you felt guilty.

and that heavy guilt stayed in your chest into the early hours of the morning, when you spotted him again, as radiant and smiley as always.

you quietly approached and seeing you come near, beckman excused himself getting away with his other crewmates. 

‘’y/n, still as beautiful after this long night’’ he chuckled as you sat beside him.

‘’shanks…what do you want from me?’’ you asked, his face relaxed a bit, as he laughed a bit.

‘’isn’t it obvious?’’ he chuckled, making you look at him confused. ‘’i want you, y/n’’

taglist: @remasjoestar @anamiad00msday

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[aishangotome]

[Gilbert] Love's Cleaning Time - Part 1

In the mighty military nation of Obsidian, its ruler, despite their noble status, keeps no servants by their side.

Therefore, they must attend to all their personal needs, except for meals ––

Emma: Gil, what should we do with that shelf?

Gilbert: Ah, please take care of it. I don't believe it holds any classified information.

Emma: Leave it to me.

Inside Gilbert's study, a place strictly off-limits to outsiders, I take items from the shelves, dust them off, and put them back in their places.

It's a simple task, but the study is vast, and before I knew it, the sun has set.

(But it's visibly getting cleaner.)

(It's tiring, but rewarding and fun.)

It seems that in the past, Roderich used to help with this, but since I arrived, I've been given that role.

Gilbert: It's just that...

Gilbert: I'm bored.

Emma: We're almost done, so let's keep going.

Gilbert: That 'almost done' is the troublesome part.

Gilbert: Little rabbit, how can you keep going without getting bored?

Emma: Of course I'm going to do my best if Gil needs me!

Emma: There aren't many ways I can be useful, so I want to give it my all when I have the chance.

(...? What's in this box?)

While talking, I take a document box engraved with a rose carving from the shelf.

It's unexpectedly heavy, putting the arm strength I've developed from my bookstore job to the test.

Gilbert: What are you saying? You're always helping me.

Gilbert: Thank you.

Emma: !?

It seems Prince Gilbert had approached me from behind without me noticing. Surprised by the kindness in his "thank you" whispered into my ear, I accidentally drop the document box I was holding.

Emma: I-I'm so sorry!

Gilbert: Ahaha, you're so easy to startle.

The impact of hitting the floor scatters the contents of the box, documents flying everywhere.

Prince Gilbert is laughing, but I feel like I'm about to faint.

I hurriedly gather the documents, trying to put them back in the box.

––In doing so, the words inevitably catch my eye.

Emma: "Rhodolite's Periodic Report"?

Gilbert: Ah.

Emma: ...This is...

––This week's visitors: 17. Of which, 8 female, 9 male. No suspicious behavior. The subject's health is also good. Matters of concern: Movements are slower compared to normal times. Possibility of injury. Requires follow-up observation. A detailed report will be sent after investigation at a later date.

(This must be something I'm not supposed to see...)

Gilbert: Oh dear, you saw it.

Prince Gilbert gently places his hand on my frozen shoulder.

Gilbert: What should we do?

Emma: ...You said there wasn't any classified information...

Gilbert: Yeah, I forgot about that.

Emma: ......

Gilbert: I have to silence the little rabbit who saw something she shouldn't have.

Prince Gilbert kneels before me, brings his face close with an amused look, and lightly pecks my lips.

Emma: ...So it wasn't anything that bad, huh?

Gilbert: Ahaha, you're starting to understand me better, aren't you?

(If it really was something I shouldn't have seen, Prince Gilbert wouldn't be so forgiving.)

(Besides, he's not the type to carelessly reveal secrets.)

I calm my racing heart and lower my gaze to the documents in my hands.

The more I look at it, the stranger this report seems.

Prince Gilbert, as Obsidian's Field Marshal, is intently eyeing Rhodolite's territory.

But the contents of this report, to an untrained eye, seem to have no value whatsoever.

It's just a record of the actions of a certain bookstore employee. There's a possibility it's some kind of code, but I can't imagine it's worth the attention of a royal from a major power.

(No, wait...)

(A bookstore in Rhodolite's territory?)

(...)

Emma: .............Gil.

(There's only one bookstore Prince Gilbert would have his eye on.)

Emma: Could this report...be about me?

Gilbert: Ahaha, you got me.

(Just how long has this been going on...?)

Judging by the dates on the report, it seems to go back quite a while, even before I was chosen as Belle –– several years, in fact.

(Perhaps since I started managing the store for the owner?)

I knew Prince Gilbert had spies in the city, but I had no idea such detailed reports existed, leaving me speechless.

(This explains why he was so strangely well-informed about my past.)

It seems like he's gotten more information from spies than from the owner.

Emma: I had no idea.

Gilbert: The spy I assigned to you is one of Obsidian's best.

Gilbert: His name is Michael. Does that ring a bell?

Emma: Eh...? No way, Michael was a spy!?

(I know him well. He's a regular customer who started coming in after I began looking after the store alone.)

I've had casual conversations with Michael from time to time, so there's no way I could forget him.

Gilbert: I'm sorry. I didn't intend to have you followed at first.

Gilbert: You were just an ordinary citizen of Rhodolite, not someone a royal from a military power would be concerned with.

Gilbert: But I was forced to assign a spy to you.

*flashback*

Gilbert: --Akatsuki. Are you serious?

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.

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Part 2

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[yizhou-time]

[ 22.56 ] idol!hongjoong — fluff, exes to ???

note: this is so old, literally wrote it after these photos were published, so sorry if it’s bad!

“what are you doing here?” he asks, there’s no malicious intentions behind it he’s just so confused on how you’re here in front of him, in paris, at fashion week, wearing a saint laurent piece, after years of being apart.

you stare at him for a few moments, just soaking in his presence and he seems to do the same as his body relaxes and he tilts his head slightly. a small smile falls on both of your faces.

“well, they ended up debuting me and for a while i was just wearing their pieces in shoots and where i could, they’re really nice, saint laurent picked up on it and here i am.” your smile increases as you lift your hands to gesture to yourself. “what about you?”

“same here, i’m with balmain.” he nods at you and silence falls upon both of you. not an awkward one though, more of a comforting one while you’re both away from the busy after party.

“do you want to go back in together?” you offer.

he thinks for a moment before turning the way you’re facing, “that sounds nice.”

the pair of you walk quietly to the hall the party is in, each step slower than the last before you’re at the door. you turn to hongjoong and he’s already looking at you with a soft gaze and an ever softer smile. by the looks of it he doesn’t even register what he’s doing until you do the same back to him.

“would you like me to get you a drink?” you ask quietly. you can barely hear yourself but you know he hears it because he shakes his head.

“oh, well i’ll be off then.” you take a few steps forward before you feel his hand on your wrist to pull you back.

you look back, a soft smile still of your face. hongjoong looks perplexed, like he’s unsure what to say and the small frown on his face gives that away. “do you want to sit somewhere quiet?” you knew, you always knew and he couldn’t be more thankful for it.

“come on then.” with no cameras at the party he lets go and you lock pinky’s with him. silently navigating the large room you both end up in a corner with two armchairs and a small coffee table in front. the pair of you sit in silence.

“it’s too much sometimes.” hongjoong mumbles.

“that’s ok, fashion week is really busy so coming here straight from work isn’t super fun either.” you say, leaning back in the chair.

“not only that.” he adds.

you give him a questioning look and after a moment he continues. “seeing you after all this time too, after everything. i could have handled it better, that though just looms over me and now you’re in front of me it- i don’t know.”

sitting up straight you turn in the chair to face him.

“it was a mutual decision. don’t dwell on it, we’re both ok.”

“i’m not.”

you stare at him, not with pity but with a look of longing which he returns. quietly you reach you hand out to him which he takes, your thumb stroking his hand. “why don’t we talk more later?”

his posture deflates and his grip on your hand loosens.

“if we talk about feelings here we can’t act upon them right away.” there’s a hopeful glint in his eye but his posture stays the same in case he gets his hopes up.

“i’ll see you in the lobby when this party is over.” letting go of his hand you give his thigh two pats before standing up with a small smile.

he sits up straight and lifts up his pinky. “promise?”

you lock your with his and stamp your thumb on his. “promise.”

[delusionaldaydreamz]

“We’ll figure it out.” | m.s.

W/C- 2,021 | x reader/ y/n

in which Matt finds out his girlfriend is not in fact sick (trigger warning? Idk if you don’t like pregnancy stuff skip over this one lol)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

       “You’re lame!” I groaned as Matt informed me he had to take the guys to the grocery store to get stuff for their upcoming blind baking video. He chuckled in response, leaning over me in his bed to give me a quick kiss. “It’ll be fast, I promise.” He assured me before disappearing out of his room. I sighed to myself, staring up at his ceiling. Normally I would’ve gone with them, but I haven’t been feeling well lately, so Matt has been trying to nurse me back to health. Damn kids need to get their licenses so he doesn’t need to keep leaving me. 

      While they were gone, I was texting my bestie Hannah, telling her how I still feel like crap and it’s been over a week now. She kept asking me about symptoms and stuff, insisting I might have Covid but I kept assuring her it definitely wasn’t, repeating over and over the differences in my symptoms and Covid symptoms, until she finally stopped telling me to test for it and sent a message to make my heart drop in an entirely different way. 

    Hannah: well if you’re not gonna get a Covid test maybe try a pregnancy test 😂

    I stared down at the screen for a good minute or two just absorbing the message. She’d definitely sent it as a joke, but it made my heart drop in realization. My period. I had been so worked up about getting sick and having to call out of work because I thought I’d be contagious, that I hadn’t even realized my period didn’t come. After a lack of response in a timely manner, she sent another text 

      Hannah: I stfg y/n tell me you guys use condoms right now 

     Me: I mean yeah 

     Hannah: every single time right

     Me: every time..? Like…… every SINGLE time..? 

     Hannah: y/n!!!! I’ll kill you Jesus Christ 

      Hannah: wtf y/n!!! I’m bringing you a test NOW and you’re taking it NOW

     Me: I’m at his house Hannah 

     Hannah: good, make him fucking sit there and take it with you 

     Me: they’re gone 

     Hannah: even better, I will take it with you 

     As much as I’d like to argue with her, there was no chance she wasn’t already on her way to the store to pick up a test. I could feel my palms getting clammy, staring down intently at my stomach, as if maybe if I looked hard enough I’d see something in there. It can’t be. 

      It only took all of 15 minutes for her to text that she was there, lucky ass living right down the street from my boyfriend. “Here, do you want me to stay or do you want to take it alone.” She looked up at me empathetically once I opened the door. “Um-“ I stared down at the pink box she had handed me. “Um- I don’t- I don’t know. I think alone?” I looked up at her, a questioning tone. All I could think to reply was I don’t know I’ve never done this, you tell me. 

       An overwhelming amount of fear ran through my body just staring down at the box alone. “Okay,” she said pulling me into a hug. “You probably just caught COVID or something okay…” she trailed, her tone wasn’t convincing in the slightest. She sounded more like she was trying to convince herself. I stared down at the box, shaking from how bad my nerves had gotten just seeing the test. As I walked back toward Matt’s bathroom, after thanking Hannah of course, I noticed my pace had slowed, like walking slower was going to make the issue disappear. I steadied my breath before ripping open the box, two tests. Should I take both? Do I need to take both? One is enough… 

       I tore the wrapper off, noticing how bad my shaking had gotten as I set the stick down on the counter so I could pull down my pants. I quickly peed on the stick and flipped it around, setting it back on the counter wrapped in toilet paper. I washed my hands a little slower than usual too, spending extra time foaming them up with the soap and a little extra time rinsing it off. I stared down at the toilet paper wrapped pregnancy test the entire time, though. I looked down at my phone, to check how long it had been since peeing on the little white test, but noticed a message from Matt as well which also made my blood run cold in this very moment. I ignored it. Didn’t even open it. I turned my attention back to the wad of toilet paper. 

      With a large inhale, I slowly started wrapping the paper, like it was painful almost. I prepared myself for the worst, expecting the best. I could basically feel all the color drain from my face the second the test peeked back out of the paper, two little lines across it. Two little pink lines. “No..” I said under my breath. I let out a mixture between a scoff and a chuckle, not believing my eyes, even though I kind of expected it the second Hannah made the joke. It just can’t be. No one even knows we’re dating. 

      I didn’t realize I had left the restroom door open slightly until there was a light tap, making me jump as I turned to face Matt. His greeting fell short as his eyes landed on me, his face also draining of color. “No…” he trailed softly, the exact way I had moments before. “It’s not- that’s not- what is that?” I watched his expression as he stared at the test in my hands, his eyes eventually trailing to the wrapper tossed sloppily around the restroom counter, the box ripped open right beside it. “Um-“ I stared, trying to take in exactly what emotion he was feeling, though I couldn’t place it. If I had to guess, the exact same thoughts were running through his mind as mine. “Is it- is it-“ he had started fumbling over his own words. “Positive..?” I trailed, finally making eye contact with him. “No…” he trailed. “I- but we-“ we both stared at each other for a moment. 

       “Take the other one.” He said, shutting the door behind him quietly for some reason. Clearly he wasn’t thinking straight, his brain most likely littered with worries and concerns like mine had been. Somewhere deep in the undertow a certain excitement surged through my veins too. 

      I sighed, obliging as he picked up the positive test I had placed on the counter so I could open the other one. He stared down at it so intently you’d think he was reading a novel. As he leaned against the counter, brows furrowed, his hand going up to his mouth so he could bite at his thumb I realized, that’s exactly why I’m pregnant. God how is he so fucking attractive, even in moments like this? I shook the thought away, not right now y/n, before I peed on the second stick of the night. 

      “Baby?” He spoke ip as he saw me nervously setting down the second one, also wrapped up. I just looked up at him, to see him staring down at me. His expression held love, but it was still full of concern. “You know I love you right?” He started making me nod. “I- we’ll figure it out okay? Let’s just see what that one says. I’m-“ he paused finding words. As I stood to wash my hands, his hands made their way across my waist, chest pressing to my back firmly. “I love you.” He said, kissing my neck. Oh how I wish he wouldn’t do stuff like that at times like this. “I love you too, Matthew.” I said instinctively calling him by his full name, a bad habit I had whenever I was stressed or upset. He hated it, it always held a negative connotation for some reason, but he let out the slightest chuckle as I turned to face him. “You’re really gonna call me Matthew right now?” 

     I liked that he was still trying to keep everything light, he’s always so helpful with bad situations. I chuckled at him, wrapping my arms around his neck to give him a kiss before looking down at the tests, one positive and one waiting to be read. As we both stared down at the tests I felt his grip on my hips tightened a bit. I genuinely couldn’t tell if there was some hint of excitement in him or what he was feeling, other than obviously scared. “You ready?” I looked up at him, grabbing the second test. He shook his head, his hands not moving from their position at my hips. I took in another breath as I started unwrapping the toilet paper around the test. We both saw the two lines at the same time. I glanced up at him briefly, he was just staring down at the test. He quickly ran a hand through his hair, the other even tighter on my hip now. “I- well fuck…” without another thought he was calling out for Nick, making me quickly throw my hand onto his mouth. “What are you doing!?” Whenever he was having issues he’d turn to one of the guys, depending on what type of issues they were would decide which brother got to listen to his tangents. Me personally I liked to keep my problems inside until I just burst. 

       We both heard a loud “what?” From the kitchen, but we both ignored it as we bickered back and forth. “We cannot tell them!” “He’ll know what to do!” “Matt we don’t even know what we’re gonna do!” “That’s why we need to talk to Nick he’ll-“ our hushed tones were abruptly stopped by another, more frustrated “what!?” As the door swung open. Both Matt and I stood frozen staring at Nick. Nick’s attitude faltered immediately as his eyes widened, quickly looking up between Matt and I. “That is notwhat I think it is.” “What are we supposed to do!?” Matt immediately bombarded his triplet brother. “Why are you asking me, Matt? I’ve never gotten a girl pregnant.” Nick said, his typical sarcasm quickly returning. “Dude the fans don’t even know and there’s no way we could hide that.” “Matt we don’t even know what we’re gonna do or if it’s alive or healthy or anything.” I spoke up, setting the test on the counter. “Jesus Christ, why the fuck are you idiots fucking without protection?” Nick shook his head at us. “It was like two times.” “Well it should’ve been zero. I don’t know what you want me to say about this, I think I’m speechless for this one.”

         Matt sighed, clearly feeling defeated by nicks lack of a solution. “Don’t act like this is my problem Matt!” Nick immediately got defensive. “I’m your brother, not your mother or your pregnant girlfriend. You two need to figure it out.” “Thank you.” I narrowed my eyes at Matt as Nick spoke. “At least you’re not actually sick.” Nick put a sarcastically empathetic hand on my shoulder making me roll my eyes at him. “Not the time.” I said, realizing the tension had broken a lot when Nick joined in, surprisingly. Maybe the initial shock was just wearing off the more we realized it was real. Matt sighed as Nick walked out of his bathroom, looking back at me. “Well I guess the first step is to go to a doctor and see how far it is.” Matt said reluctantly. He grabbed my hand, placing a small kiss on the top of it. “Like I said, we’ll figure it out. I love you.” He kissed my forehead now. “I think the tension between us right now might be too obvious if I film with you guys tonight. I should probably sit this one out.” I sighed softly, wrapping my arms around him. “That’s fine, love. Just go to my room and rest okay?” He said causing me to nod against his chest.  •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

a/n- some of yall are weird about the triplets and pregnancy stuff??? Sooo idk how this is gonna go over in this fandom lolol buuuttt this was just a quick little one bc the Matt one I’m writing is taking foreverrrrr sorryyyy

[gougarfem]

how was the process of getting a dumbphone!

oh my god this is something i'm so excited to talk about, sorry it took me so many months to respond!

getting a dumbphone improved my quality of life so so much. i knew my screentime was high, but didn't realise it was a genuine psychological addiction until i quit. the first few days were extremely rough. time seemed to pass about ten times slower, and i was forced to fill the hours with various hobbies and activities. i know we all love to tell people to touch grass, but i really did have to connect with nature and it did wonders for my mental health.

i think for the first three days i was constantly restless and horribly irritable, looked around for my phone every few minutes, felt intense boredom and even cried a few times lol. your addiction may not be as extreme as mine was and this varies from person to person. however, after about a week i realised i remembered everything i'd done each day, because it was filled with intentional activities and little moments of peace rather than a blur of scrolling. i also wasn't on adhd meds yet, which is something i'll talk about in another post.

not having everything at your fingertips is uncomfortable, but (and it's a cliche) you really start to appreciate the world around you more. i looked forward to spending time with my family, because it filled time and i wasn't half-involved in my phone the entire time. i use an mp3 player to listen to music, and uploading music to it is a meaningful and interesting activity, rather than just shuffling a playlist. i listen to whole albums instead of being flooded with dopamine from spotify firing recommended songs at me. i appreciate music more, i make CDs for friends, i have to be intentional in discovering new artists and music. if i'm having an interesting conversation online, i look forward to going home and logging onto my laptop to continue it. i don't spend my commute, time in class, or time with friends texting somebody else. everything feels more intentional, spaced out, and interesting, even the things i do online.

i also found i stopped performing in every activity i did. i stopped thinking about whether i could post it to instagram or instantly send a picture in a discord server. i started picking up new hobbies for myself, not for an online audience, and living in the moment more. this is really important in the modern age, although again uncomfortable.

the best part was how my connections with others increased through having a dumbphone. i started calling friends rather than messaging on five platforms at once, and they started reciprocating. my message threads are continuous, coherent conversations, rather than sending memes. people realised they have to intentionally reach out to me, and i lost relationships with people who weren't interested in that, but strengthened connections with people who did put in the effort (many of whom i barely talked to in the past). i give people my phone number, not my social media handle, and they actually start conversations with me rather than hitting follow. i get to hear my friends' voices when they have drama to share and realise it takes me forever to type on my flip phone keyboard. again, everything is intentional, takes time, and richer than when i had a smartphone.

i genuinely would recommend it to absolutely everyone (i've kind of become like a crossfit guy in telling people to get a dumbphone lol). i won't pretend it's easy, and most people make excuses - for the first few months of having a dumbphone, i was bedbound or in hospital, and truly relied on online connections to pass time and communicate. it still hugely improved my life. however, no matter your situation there are always, always better options than scrolling an app, and you deserve to pass your time in a memorable way. i think most people don't realise they're addicted/reliant on smartphones, and the idea of quitting is horribly uncomfortable, but at least for me, the benefits were worth it.

i'm happy to answer any questions, i literally could talk about this topic for hours (even if it's stuff like "how would i use x app" "how would i replace x smartphone function").

ditch your smartphone babe, u deserve better <33

[thecraftywriter]

Our Corner of the Universe - Part 1

And the winner of the Drake x reader Valentine's Day poll was "post-canon hospital confession. You help each other recover. Feelings ensue." Man, you all really like him sad and a little roughed up, huh?

This got out of hand quickly, and I wanted to do the character justice, so this will be a Part 1 of at least 3. I'll cross-post to ao3 when it's completed.

The one positive thing you could say about the GS General Hospital was that it had a nice view.

The large-windowed room, high on the fourth floor, with places for patients to sit and relax, offered a beautiful view of the stars. You didn’t know their names, but the fact that it was the same stars every night comforted you. They were the one constant thing in your days, which had quickly become a maze of medical jargon, arguing doctors, and tests.

And what was the point of it all? You would never be fit for active duty again. That was a fact. Why split hairs over the details? What no one seemed to be talking about was what would happen to you now. Where did you fit now that the life you’d led for nearly two decades was over? Sometimes, you wondered if it would have been better for the field medics to have been a little slower, a little less competent.

So, you sat, evening after evening in the room the nurses called the observatory, and stared into the night sky. You let your thoughts loose and, when they got lost in dark places, you used the gleam of the stars to pull you back. 

One day, nearly a week after you’d started your nightly ritual, the sky split open and pounded GS with the worst storm you’d seen in years. By nightfall, the rain had abated, but the clouds hid your stars. You sat in the observatory anyway, waiting for a glimmer to drive away some of the gloom that had settled over your thoughts. Not even the smallest light appeared.

As you mourned your lost stars and contemplated a pity party in your own bed, the door clicked open.

You almost always had this place to yourself. You turned.

A tall man was ducking under the doorframe. He had an officer’s jacket wrapped around him. You couldn’t make out the rank insignia, but it had to be higher than yours.

You didn’t have the heart to salute. He could kick you out of here for insubordination if he wanted, but you couldn’t muster any strong feelings about it. You glanced down at your hands. The skin was dry and cracking. You had meant to ask the nurse for lotion, but it kept slipping your mind.

The man sat in the chair two away from yours and stared intently into the cloud-covered sky. His gaze traveled from one corner to the other, as if he could see something you couldn’t. The sight was one more stupid and useless thing on top of a day filled with stupid and useless things.

“There’s nothing to see,” you snapped. Oh, you were definitely getting kicked out for this.

The man turned to you, frowned, and blinked, as if noticing you for the first time.

“I know,” he said. With his face turned to you, even in the dim light, you could make out some of his features. He had a solid face, the square jaw still set in a frown. A bandage was wrapped around his forehead. Above and around it, his air stuck up and out at gravity-defying angles.

“So, why look at all?”

“Because I know where the stars are supposed to be.” He shrugged and went back to staring.

You were left alone with your thoughts and a still-dark sky. The weight of it all was pressing in on you, and your mind started to spiral into bleaker and bleaker possibilities.

“H-hey,” your voice hitched. Damnit, you were not going to cry in front of some stranger. You swallowed and said again, throat tight. “Can you tell me…where they’re supposed to be?”

After a moment, the man slipped one bandaged arm out from under his jacket. He pointed to the top centermost square in the grid of panes that made up the observatory’s window.

“Starting from twelve o’clock, that’s the tail of the Great Sea King. There’s a trail of stars that form his body with the head at two o’clock. Just below that are the points of the Twin Crowns…”

You nodded. His voice was calm, even. In your mind, the stars lit up again at his words. You were still on the verge of tears, but you no longer felt unmoored or adrift in your own thoughts.

Midway through the sky, the man paused and cleared his throat.

“That’s probably enough. You don’t really want to hear about all of them…”

“No, I do,” you choked out. Even if the low light hid your face, there was no hiding the emotion in your voice. You stared intently into your lap. “Please, keep going.”

For a moment, it was so quiet in the observatory that you were certain he had left, but you didn’t dare look. You rubbed at the dry skin on your hands, at the cracks that were forming, and waited.

In the silence, you heard another throat clear, and then -

“Counter-clockwise from the Sea King’s tail, there’s the tip of the Giant’s spear. Follow the spear down to the Giant’s feet, and you’ll see the bow of the Longship…”

You let him continue, and when his narration wrapped back around to the tip of the Sea King’s tail and the mental map of the sky was completed, you let out a low whistle.

“That was impressive.”

“I’m sure it sounded a little dry…,” he said, frowning again.

“Not at all! It was - honestly, it was the best thing I could have heard in that moment. How long did it take you to memorize them all?”

“Just a few months, but I was a teenager and…needed something to occupy my mind.”

“Man, all I did as a teenager was sneak out late and bum around with friends.”

“Sounds nice,” the man said. You were about to rib him for the sarcasm, when the tone of his voice and his still grim face finally registered. There were no jokes, no sarcasm; he was perfectly earnest.

There were a few moments in your life where the knowledge that other people had an existence as layered and complex as your own, with thoughts just as deep and winding, hit you and made you feel small. This was one of those moments.

You didn’t know this man. You’d probably never meet again after tonight, but however he’d come to be here and wherever he was going next, you sincerely wished him well.

Before you could formulate any words of thanks or best wishes, the observatory door opened.

It was the night nurse, with a friendly but stern reminder that, at 2200, all patients were expected to be back in their beds.

The man stood up, nodded at you, and left without a word. You hung around a moment more, throwing one last glance at the overcast sky. The clouds over your own thoughts had started to lighten. If talking to a real person for half an hour could do so much, maybe the doctors should start prescribing it.