#even if it’s good they do have benefits since otherwise it’s like “why do these side things”

[no1ryomafan]

Me: Persona is like one of my more normal interests

Also me: *proceeds to do a replay of P3P on NG+ as the femc even though this is gonna take well over 50+ hours like last time even if I skip some dialogue*

[shalotttower]

A Natural Benefit

Title: A Natural Benefit

Fandom: Death Note

Characters: L Lawliet x Reader (female)

Summary: L wants to try something new, you want to be left alone. So an offer is on the table, it's a mutually beneficial arrangement after all.

Word count: 2100+

Notes: yandere!L, kidnapped Reader, dub-con kissing, manipulation, captivity, L and Reader were together at Wammy's House

"Would you indulge me?"

Your eyes dart up from the page to his face. L looks at you like he always does ─ an intent yet oddly distant stare that used to make goosebumps appear on your arms. Nowadays you're somewhat re-accustomed to his mannerisms. He doesn't blink much, tends to stand behind your back whenever possible, likes to play with his food and enjoys invading your personal space far too much to be deemed socially acceptable.

His habits are strange but harmless.

"No," you say, just to be contrary.

L is fond of making things sound simple, and then — snap! — the trap is shut, and you find yourself doing a completely different activity than initially expected.

"I want to kiss you."

"N-" You blink and lower your book down, not bothering to mark it. "What?"

"Kissing is an act of physical intimacy between individuals," he says like it's an obvious fact and you're merely slow on the uptake. L's expression doesn't change, neutral despite this being anything but a normal conversation starter even by your standards ─ admittedly low.

"Thank you for enlightening me about the definition," you lean back against the cushions, "still no."

"Why not?" He asks after a momentary pause.

"Because I don't want to."

A simple answer to a weird request. You try to resume reading, but there're other things currently occupying your brain ─ namely the attempts to understand what prompted such inquiry.

L never asked for physical contact before; platonic or otherwise. Sure he tried to entice you into spending time with him through bargain and manipulation, and you pretended to be oblivious enough to earn an Oscar for your acting skills. However, there never was any talk of kissing involved. Any kind of touching, actually.

He hums. "Would you like me to explain my reasons?"

Sometimes you think that the sole cause of L's existence is just so he could annoy people for kicks. His questions are always peculiar, and you've learned that every single one of them is designed to lead towards some specific conclusion, preferably the one he wants. You have a feeling that if you say 'yes', L will proceed to list a hundred points about why kissing is good. And then another hundred why kissing him specifically is beneficial.

"No."

He looks at you. You look at him and raise the book higher.

"Indulging me would benefit both of us," L says, undeterred. "You're very curious by nature and I find it quite fascinating that you're able to deny your curiosity in this particular case."

Has a more obvious bait ever existed anywhere in human history? Probably not, and you'll bet your entire life savings on it too.

"I'm not curious," you lie, "now leave me alone. I want to read."

He leans forward. "You haven't focused on the book since I asked my question."

Smartass. You purse your lips and pretend that the characters are suddenly so interesting, that it's hard to look away from the intricacies of the plot unfolding inside this fictional world. At least things there make sense; no need to figure out the hidden meanings behind other people's words, because they are mostly transparent when there's a whole paragraph dedicated to the protagonist's feelings.

He reminds you of those spider-like creatures from documentaries ─ their actions seem random at first glance, yet upon further scrutiny prove to be anything but. Instead, they're meticulously crafted and executed to obtain maximum results.

L studies you for a little while longer, and eventually pads towards the kitchenette. The kettle whistles soon after as he makes himself tea; mint flavored, judging by the aroma wafting through the air.

______________________________________________________

You should have known that he won't give up ─ L is just as persistent as you are stubborn. If anything, you've set a challenge before him, and he tends to fixate on those until they are solved: a fact well-known and accepted among those who ever had a (dis)pleasure of interacting with him.

He doesn't outright ask you again, not the next day or the one after that. No. Accidentally, the only type of movies you're able to watch now are rom-coms or dramas with lots of kissing scenes sprinkled here and there between the banter bordering on cringe; sweet confessions spoken over candlelit dinners; passionate declarations whispered during sunsets... Clichés, amore, and kisses galore.

"I'm not sure this is the best movie for the evening," you say, as the screen flickers with images of two leads gazing into each other's eyes like they found the answers to every single question asked.

"The reviews are quite positive," L replies, munching on caramel popcorn.

"Reviews can be faked. And the trailer was misleading. I thought it was going to be an action movie."

"It is an action movie. The genres are listed right there," he points at the screen, and the words 'romance and action' stare back at you.

You frown and settle deeper into the couch cushions. It's uncomfortable ─ watching romantic scenes with L in the same room. His presence doesn't feel oppressive or demanding, yet you can't shake off the squirmy, twisty feeling. The kind when you enter an elevator with someone else and get slightly agitated for no reason. And so you try to slow down your breathing, but it only makes things worse. Your heart beats faster, palms start sweating and the hypothetical elevator stranger inevitably thinks that you're weird.

L isn't an elevator stranger. He's the owner of the elevator, and the entire building, and the city.

"He's going to die in the next ten minutes," you mutter.

"No, he won't."

"Yes, he will."

L hums. "Want a bet?"

Your eyes narrow.

"If he survives past the fifteen minute mark," L says slowly, "you indulge me."

"And if he doesn't?"

"I leave you alone for two days."

There's no hesitation on his side. None whatsoever, which proves suspicious immediately ─ L never offers something unless certain about the outcome beforehand, whether by logical deduction or calculated gamble. Probability factors run inside his brain instead of blood cells and grey matter, calculating risk vs return ratio quicker than any computer ever could.

You glance at the screen. It's a simple plot. There were a twist or two earlier, sure, but overall nothing extraordinary that would require hours upon hours of critical thinking to unravel.

A man, a woman. A handsome villain who wants them dead, for various reasons. They run and fight, shoot guns, dodge punches, and kiss between those because apparently there's time for romance even when a life is on the line.

It's a very simple plot; and two days are a lot to pretend that L doesn't exist. That you got rich enough to buy this kind of apartment.

"The speakers?"

"Switched off."

"The cameras?"

"Those will stay."

Of course, they will. You wouldn't expect anything less ─ privacy issues are non-existent here in more ways than one.

L isn't always a presence. Sometimes he leaves and you're alone with nothing but books and TV to pass time, but two days sound wonderful regardless. There's something in empty spaces that's enticing, even if they're temporary. L, for all his peculiarities, isn't too bad of a company. He's quiet, and often busy with his own matters. But he also has this way of looking at you that is unnerving. Like you're interesting. Or important. Or simply fascinating.

Sometimes he wants to talk, he wants to listen, he wants to ask questions and give answers until everything blurs into an amalgamation of words. It's exhausting.

Two days sound good. His hand is dry and slender. You grasp it and shake it once.

"I'll start the timer now," L says after your hands separate.

______________________________________________________

Twelve minutes.

Three more and he's dead.

You wish that he'd just kick the bucket already, so you could spend the next forty eight hours in pure, undiluted bliss.

_______________________________________________________

The male lead dies after seventeen minutes.

When the credits roll over, the apartment is silent except for the soft buzzing of electronics. You look at the screen, stubbornly, because you don't want to look at him, the owner of the elevator, and the building, and the city.

"It was close," he comments, as if trying to comfort you, which makes it even more of a sore spot.

That’s what L thrives on ─ technicalities, loopholes, small and seemingly insignificant details which are easily overlooked, yet make a great difference. You're not sure if you're annoyed, or disappointed. And what’s more important ─ at whom.

You have known for years that L tends to get his way eventually whenever there's something specific caught up in that head of his; a fixation which refuses to leave until satisfied, and sometimes even after. Snap. You can get up and head out of the living room, you know you can. Will you though is another question entirely.

L isn't a typical captor ─ he doesn't demand or force you into things. He simply presents a possibility and waits. Not aggressive or domineering, not sadistic. But oh he is a PhD of holding a grudge. Leaving now probably means waking up tomorrow and finding that every single disk has vanished without a trace, along with the bookshelves being switched for some obscure scientific texts on chemistry, physics and other things that require an advanced degree to fully understand.

Because someone decided that you don’t deserve entertainment anymore. Because someone is petty enough to deprive you of basic mental stimuli, and is stubborn enough to hold onto that decision even when reasoned with. Unsuccessfully.

It's a talent really, this particular brand of making your life miserable in many small ways, so they accumulate into something greater over time until you feel like the walls are closing in slowly but surely.

You can't back out, even though no one openly stops you from doing so. And L knows that. And he knows that you know. His lips twitch and curl upward before flattening again into neutral territory.

There's a theory that if you pull a band-aid fast enough, it won't hurt as much. The credibility behind it is questionable.

You exhale and meet L's gaze ─ his posture hasn't changed from the beginning to the end of the film, knees tucked to his chest, eyes two dark pools that stare without blinking. His fingers drum a steady rhythm, and that's probably the only sign that gives it away.

Anticipation.

"Fine," you say finally.

His mouth opens before closing back again. L doesn't move a bit.

He wants you to do it, you realize. Wants you to initiate instead of just allowing it. What an ass.

You squish his cheeks between your palms until his lips pucker outwards. L makes a soft noise of surprise but doesn't try to fight back.

Black lashes cast a shadow across his skin. There's no perfume or cologne, no distinct smell ─ he uses plain soap and shampoo which don't have a discernible aroma.

"I believe I was promised an indulgence," L says, voice muffled a bit by your hands on his face.

He looks like a fish this way. A silly, ridiculous image that would make you snort if not for the situation at hand.

Band-aids and ripping them off.

You sigh, lean forward, and press your mouth to his.

He tastes like caramel popcorn.

Mint tea.

Indulgence.

The angle is awkward, and L doesn't move an inch to accommodate the position. He stays still like a block of solid rock, not a single muscle twitches, and doesn't even attempt to reciprocate. You have half a mind to think that maybe he's mocking you, but then his fingers lightly curl on the fabric of his jeans. L's eyelids flutter half-closed when your noses bump, then open again right after. Another oddity added to the pile.

It lasts no longer than ten seconds before you pull away. L blinks. Touches his lower lip with the tip of a finger and rubs it like searching for traces left by the contact.

"You were promised an indulgence," you remind him, trying to sound calm, collected, but your ears and neck feel hot, "not a make-out session."

Technicalities and loopholes.

L has that look you can't quite pinpoint yet know far too well. You've seen it many times before. When he thinks about something but keeps it to himself for now.

"You look more lively," he remarks eventually. "Healthy complexion suits you."

You don't need to hear what he says next, because the words already ring through your head.

"I told you it would benefit us both."

[mrpenguinpants]

Please go out with me for tax benefits!

— When you randomly pointed to a handsome man and declared him to be your boyfriend, you didn't think it would get this out of hand. You just wanted a couples discount!

— Alhaitham, Ayato, and Kazuha

-> Part 2: Overdue Bills [Masterlist]

This was originally written for my upcoming "Help me break my engagement by marrying me instead." fic but I got carried away and it became too plot-heavy. So I made a new one. Most of these have nothing to do with money, I just thought the title was funny.

Alhaitham

You blame Kaveh for this. This is entirely his fault and you will not be convinced otherwise. If he hadn't opened his big mouth to Alhaitham about the fact you've been spouting that he was your boyfriend, then you wouldn't be in this mess. It wasn't even that serious, it's not like you were actually emotionally invested with the man and this was all a delusional dream. You barely knew the guy aside from the multiple rumors about him in the first place. You just needed to access some limited-edition books for your thesis and his name happened to be the easiest way to get ahold of them. Sure, you may be lying to authority for the better half of a year about your relationship with the scribe, but it's not your fault they didn't ask questions. If you happened to threaten to tell your very scary and very influential "boyfriend" about this "mistreatment", that's just a byproduct if anything. But now you have a very irritated silver-haired man crowding into your personal space asking why the hell you're announcing to the world that you're both in a relationship. It's creepy. He called you creepy. Is this where you roll over and die in shame?

You swear you didn't think it would get this out of hand. You just happened to spot him in the background while the librarian was giving you a hard time and your dumb brain-to-mouth filter was taking a break that day. So you just blurted that you were Alhaitham's partner and that he would be very upset to hear that you were being treated this way. It's not completely far-fetched, Alhaitham seems like a very, very, private person and on the off chance you were telling the truth? Well, the poor librarian didn't want to lose her job. Besides, it's not like you were planning on doing anything illegal and you don't think you're the absolute worst person to be fake-dating.

By some stroke of luck, or maybe he felt too much pity for you, Alhaitham decides to cut you a deal rather than get you kicked out of the Akademiya. He gets multiple love letters, confessions, and heart-eyed individuals trailing after him all the time. Frankly, he's getting tired of it and since you've already taken the liberty, he won't say anything if you don't say anything. Though he makes it clear that if you ever do anything embarrassing, you're taking the fall and he's going to pretend he doesn't know you. A bit harsh but that's only a safety net. Plus it's not like you actually want to date him so he wouldn't have any commitments. The added bonus is that since he's well-known for having a...rough personality, you don't need to act affectionately with the man or go the extra mile. As long as you have each other's backing, you'll get to check out any textbook you want for free and he gets to be left alone. So for both your benefits, to the rest of the Akademiya you and him are a couple.

You should have known this deal was way too good to be true. As soon as people hear that Alhaitham acknowledges that you're his partner, they're on you like rabid fungi. In comparison to the scribe, you're far easier to prod and poke for any gossip and your quiet day-to-day life is suddenly thrown into the wind. Multiple people a day come to bother you about what it's like to date the moody man. It gets to a point where you have to actually dress incognito just to go and get some coffee. Seriously, didn't people have deadlines and exams to prepare for then to hound you down to talk about your fake love life? Alhaitham is no help either, only shrugging off your complaints and telling you that this is what you agreed to.

He's a horrible partner, fake or not. This isn't your storybook romance where he suddenly falls in love with you, he straight up ignores you sometimes! If anything, this entire situation has stopped you from feeling intimidated by him. Before you wouldn't dare approach him, his appearance and body were enough for you to shy away. You're impulsive, not blind. Alhaitham is drop-dead gorgeous but now that you've reached such an absurd situation it stops intimidating you. You begin to regularly pester the man because you know that even though you're both not actually dating, it would look really bad if he shunned you constantly.

He actually doesn't mind you. Unlike Kaveh or anyone else who interacts with him, you know how to be quiet and independent. Most of the time you both sit in silence, the only noise between the two of you being the flipping of pages and the scratching of ink against paper. If you ever do speak, it's always with a purpose. It's just a bonus that while everyone stares at your table, no one ever approaches. If they need to speak with him, they see your body right next to him and they decide to come back at a later time when he's alone.

Over time, he finds himself seeking you out instead of the other way around. He's come to find your presence comforting and it's the only time when he can actually sit down and read. Being an observant person, he starts to notice your little habits. For one, touch seems to be how you interact with others. You always bump elbows whenever you greet him, pinching his half coat whenever you want to drag him to see whatever captured your attention, and nudging his arm with your hand whenever you need him to bend down so you can whisper something into his ear. He's honestly surprised and concerned that he doesn't push you away with your skinship. If it were anyone else, he would have sent them a sharp glare and pushed him off but he doesn't for you.

All things must come to an end eventually and you've finally finished writing the last sentences for your thesis. Your pat on the back is the firm shut of a book as a deep sigh escapes your lips. Tired but relieved. The goodbye is uneventful, you simply tell him that you don't need him to pretend to be your boyfriend and he's free to live out the single life. He just nods and with that, you're gone.

No one says anything when they notice that Alhaithem sits at a table alone for the nth time that week. There are a few whispers back and forth about how you either got fed up with this attitude or he realized that he was way out of your league. Either way, everyone assumes you and Alhaithem are no longer together and his routine before you arrived settles back in. Yet, he feels off. He refuses to call it longing, you both were hardly affectionate in the first place, but he feels a bit lonely without your presence beside him. it's been plaguing his mind ever since you packed your things and left. He's hardly been able to concentrate on his book, rereading the same sentence for the fourth time before snapping it shut. Letting out a deep sigh, he runs a hand through his hair before setting it against his closed eyes. What's gotten into him?

"Is this seat taken?"

His eyes shoot open, turning around to see you with an armful of books looking expectantly at him. You look nervous and he can't lie to himself that he doesn't find that just the slightest bit endearing. He can tell that you're struggling to carry all of them from the slight shake in your hands.

"I thought our deal was over?" he says this but he gets up anyways to take the books out of your hands and places them on the table. You just roll your eyes at him because of course that's what he would say first and push forward. You're probably the only one who would act so brazenly in front of him besides Kaveh but he doesn't find it irritating when you do it.

"What? So I need to be in a relationship with you just to sit at a table? I know your ego is big but not thattt big," you stretch your words as you settle comfortably into your seat.

He wonders when he started thinking of that specific chair as yours.

"No. I suppose not," he says with an exasperated smile as he sits back down. You beam back at him as you shuffle your chair closer to him as you open your textbook, your fingertips gave that familiar tug for him to lean in closer.

"Good, because I need some help with this section. I have no idea what the hell "bloom" is."

Ayato

Although Valentine's day was mostly celebrated in Mondstadt and Sumeru, Inazuma still liked to dabble in the festivities during the day of love. Various couples' discounts on tricolored Dango or limited edition books from the Yae Publishing House. There was one popular series in particular that was having a huge discount to celebrate the holiday and even though you weren't in the market for a partner, you weren't going to pass up on such a steal. Only for your excitement to fall flat when the lady informed you that the discount was for couples only.

You can't believe this. You just stood in line for hours only for them to tell you this now? What kind of shady place was this? Of course, they didn't advertise the specifics of this sale, they knew this book was popular. People waiting in line wouldn't just walk away once they found out and they would end up paying full price! Well, two can play this game. You randomly gesture off to the side, saying that your boyfriend was just standing off to the side because he wanted to grab some refreshments. You aren't really looking where you're pointing, too busy digging through your pouch and counting your coins of mora before a sharp gasp stops you. The lady quickly bows and beams at you with a mega-watt customer service smile. She hands the book to you free of charge while profusely thanking you for your patronage. You look off to the side but you don't see anyone, but you weren't going to say no, so you shrug and take it. A free book is a free book.

To be fair, you were making it really easy for the Archons to mess with you. You hear whispers around you that you can't make out, anytime you glance at passing people, they quickly bow and shuffle along. You have a horrible sinking feeling forming in the pit of your stomach and you quickly rush home so you can avoid whatever the hell you just caused. Unfortunately, word travels fast in Inazuma, and every shop you pass by you're being confronted left and right with sales pitches and gifts of appreciation for your partner's hard work. All of which you decline, half of it because you're not actually in a relationship and the other half because you have no interest in their gifts. But you've already dug yourself this far in your grave so you just give a hasty no thank you as you try and dodge everyone who looks at you with that glimmer in their eyes. Who did you point at to receive this much praise?

Ayato is greatly confused when people approach him to congratulate him on his engagement. He wasn't planning on getting married any time soon, his duties as the Yashiro Commissioner taking up most of this time. Did the elders set someone up for him without informing him first? He's curious about who his mystery person is but everyone he asks doesn't seem to know where they went. Apparently, his fiancee is shy but humble, declining gifts from various shopkeepers no matter how expensive they are.

That's until one of the children points in your direction and his eyes slide over to you who looks just as confused as him. He's never seen you in his life and you don't look like anyone from a significant clan. He gets clued in that you boldly announced your relationship with him when you were checking out a specific book meant for couples only. Ah, he's starting to understand now. He offers a piece of candy for the helpful information as he makes his way over to you. His mysterious fiancee.

As soon as the man in front of you says Lord Kamisato's name, the uneasy weight in your stomach drops. You quickly spin on your heel to see the pale blue hair and amused light purple eyes. Oh. Oh, Archon's above, please, out of everyone you could have pointed to, please don't make it be the Yashiro Commissioner. You're about to burn this book into ashes and do a ceremony to banish whatever youkai were stored within the pages if you manage to make it out of this alive.

If Ayato was upset about this situation he's found himself in, it would be immediately wiped away because you look like you're about to collapse. He's trying his best to not laugh at your torment right in front of you, but the mix of emotions that's so openly displayed on your face is making it hard. It's obvious that you didn't mean for this to happen, you've just tripped and fallen into a web of misunderstandings. Too entangled to explain yourself without making a fool out of yourself.

If looks could kill, this storekeeper would be dead on the floor twice over. This man calls out to the Yashiro Commissioner, and just to add salt to the wound, proudly congratulates him on his engagement with you. You said nothing about an engagement, you're far too young to be thinking about that thank you very much. But Ayato just nods along with that ever-pleasant smile without bothering to correct the situation. You're not sure if you should be thankful or not. He might be planning your murder in his mind so you stay silent as well.

When Ayato's gaze shifts to you, you do what any creature does when they're in danger and there's nowhere to run. You hide. You automatically raise your book to cover your face so you don't need to look at the source of your embarrassment. Although it does nothing to hide just how red your face is, you don't see him and that's good enough for you. But this also means you don't see the questioning glance the storekeeper shoots Ayato about your behavior, to which Ayato gives a pleasant smile and waves a hand to dismiss the situation.

"Please excuse my fiancee, we didn't mean to announce our engagement so early," Ayato muses, and the storekeeper nods in understanding while you bring your book down low enough to peer over the edges of the pages. Is...is he covering for you? He looks down expectantly at you but when you don't move, he awkwardly coughs into his fist and tilts his head toward the shopkeeper.

"A-Ah yes, that's right! It was a slip of the tongue and I hadn't realized I said it out loud. Please excuse my behavior," you bow and you can hear Ayato turning his head to snort into his hand. This is awful. You think you would prefer if he just outted you so you didn't need to show the world how awful your acting skills are. This is why you read plays, not star in them. But the shopkeeper nods in understanding, apologizing for saying your engagement so loud for others to hear before you're leaving with Ayato's arm wrapped around your waist.

"I'm deeply sorry. There was a discount for couples only and I just pointed in a random direction and it just happened to land on you. I swear I didn't mean to start any of this," you quickly rush out as you bow before Ayato as soon as you're out of sight from the public eye. He still has that annoying look in his eyes but you're completely at his mercy right now. The smug bastard definitely knows that.

"It's no trouble at all. I found the situation quite entertaining," he chuckles before looking you up and down. Okay...a tiny bit weird but you suppose your actions are worse. There's a long silence between the two of you as if he's pondering something and you've had enough of today's events.

"Um...well if that's everything I'll be getting out of your hair. Please enjoy the rest of your day Lord Kamisato," you mumble as you turn to leave but his hand hooks onto the back of your kimono and drags you right back.

"Ah, ah. It would make a bad impression if my fiancee suddenly left me on Valentine's Day. Oh and please, call me Ayato," he smiles that same polite smile but his eyes tell a different story entirely. His smile even widens at how hard you're biting your lip as you match his with a strained one. For Archon's sake, you just wanted to buy a book, how did you get into this mess?!

Kazuha

As soon as Inazuma's borders reopened, you were jumping on the fastest ship back to Liyue. You even got extra lucky that your good friend Beidou happened to be on the pier and offered you a well-deserved ride back to your home free of charge. You've been so homesick but unable to leave due to the regulation the Electro Archon placed, so to say that you were excited to finally go back was an understatement. Although the Crux Fleet was mainly an armed carrier delivering goods between places separated by sea, it did occasionally transport passengers if they paid enough. It only made sense that others would be like you and wish to return home as soon as possible. It's too bad that one of them happened to take one look at you and decide that you were born to be his.

It's an incredibly awkward affair. This wealthy businessman doesn't appear to mean any harm but he's incredibly dense with no sense of social awareness. Although you've politely declined his advances, he doesn't seem to stop. Even when Beidou herself threatens to throw the man overboard, he just keeps his distance and makes heart eyes at you. Unfortunately for you, Beidou can't actually throw him into the cruel watery depths no matter how much you plead with her. The man seems to be an important figure from Snezhnaya so she can't exactly treat him badly. Thus you spend most of your time ducking away and running away from your creepy admirer.

You're usually not so bold but the mix of overwhelming homesickness and just wanting to get this journey over and done with, all of it compels you to act rashly. If your new admirer can't take a simple no then you'll find a different way and show him you're off limits. You've seen the man who sits on the crow's nest, you believe Beidou said his name was Kazuha, whose been a part of her crew for a while now. You've only made passing small talk with each other and he seems like a nice person, at least you hope so. Because as soon as his feet touch the ship's deck, you're throwing yourself at him. You have to give him credit, he has lightning-fast reflexes and is a lot stronger than his demeanor expresses since he manages to catch you and stop you both from sprawling across the floor.

You make a show of throwing your arms around him and whining about how he doesn't spend enough time with poor dear you. You can tell he's infinitely confused so you lean in and whisper into his ear about your creepy stalker who can't take a no. Your eyes desperately plead with him to play along with you, just until the ship reaches Liyue Harbour. It only takes Kazuha to look over your shoulder and lock gazes with said "stalker" before he's turning to you with the most tender smile on his lips and a soft apology for being neglectful. A promise to spend more quality time to make up for his behavior. You swear that should have been an omen because you feel your heart stop for a second right then and there.

It's not completely out there. As the lookout, he would have to stay up in the crow's nest most of the day, and given how soft spoken Kazuha normally is, he doesn't look like the confrontational type. But he does make good on his fake promise and you find yourself spending most of your time in the crow's nest with Kazuha rather than ducking into the shadows of the lower deck. Kazuha is a relaxing presence and you can understand why he stays up here rather than with the rest of the crew. The gentle sea breeze brushes through your hair and it's so peaceful all the way up in the sky. You're almost jealous that he has an anemo vision because you think you'd love to stay in the winds forever.

He's also a gentleman through and through. You're not entirely sure if he's just pretending alongside you or if that's just how he normally acts. You think both options are equally plausible and endearing. At some point, you forget that you're supposed to be doing this for show to keep a creepy man away from you and you genuinely start to seek him out. It's during one night when you watch Kazuha whistle a tune through a leaf that you realize just how deep you're in. Now your position is reversed and you start to feel like the creepy heart-eyed stalker. It's something that you must absolutely not let happen, not on your watch.

Your sudden distance from Kazuha leaves him a bit hurt. He knows that this originally started as an act but he felt that you and him were getting close to each other without any ulterior motives. That all your talks of your dreams and aspiration were real and meaningful. But now that you've suddenly pulled back, he question's if everything was made up in his head. It's not like you owe him anything, he decided to help you out from of his own volition. Beidou can only look at this scene painfully at her two idiotic friends pushing themselves away from each other because they can't sit down and talk it out.

She drags the two of you into a private room, her only warning to fix your emotional angst or she really will throw you both overboard. You both know she's entirely serious so you both obediently nod as she slams the door closed.

Beidou leans against the wooden crates with her head propped up with her arm. She should probably stop watching, she's being far too nosy with her friend's love life, but what kind of friend would she be if she wasn't? She hopes you both managed to talk it out and realize that you're both crushing hard on each other. She had been far too busy with Liyue fastly approaching to check in on your progress but from the looks of things, she thinks everything went well. With the red cheeks and your fingertips linked together, it's so cute that she wants to gag on her wine. Don't get her wrong, she's happy for you and Kazuha, but any more of this puppy love is going to send her into an early grave.

"You're not going to stay in Liyue?" she overhears you say. Huh? She honestly thought that Kazuha might pitch a tent and finally settle down with you but the small shake of his head and your fallen expression says otherwise. Damn, talk about a heartbreaker. But he gives you a soft expression, something really vulnerable, and his hand comes up to caress your cheek- and that's her cue to turn away. That's something that even she knows she shouldn't be watching. She instead takes another swig of her cup.

"Captain."

She looks up to see Kazuha standing beside her, the air of nature and sea breeze clinging to him wherever he goes. She politely doesn't bring up the charm clutched tightly in his hands.

"You sure about this kid?" Beidou asks, her eyes still trained on her empty cup of booze. She doesn't need to look to know that he's watching your back disappear into the crowd longingly.

"If I try to force something I know I'm not ready to finish, it would only lead to disaster. Right now isn't the right time. But I'm sure in the future, our paths will cross again," Kazuha nods to himself solemnly. This time Beidou does look at him before she shows a fond smile herself before she brings her arm back and slaps it against Kazuha's back. It's loud and hard enough to jolt him out of his temporary sadness.

"If you ever need a ride back to Liyue, just let me know. We'll get you there in no time lover boy," Beidou grins cheekily as Kazuha flushes a bright red. How cute, he can't even be honest with himself huh?

[nicromancytarot]

HOW CAN YOU ENHANCE YOUR SEXUALITY (18+)

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. Channeled by me and my guides, using pictures.

I am a feminist before I am human, and I keep seeing people calling women “bop’s” all over the media, which is just another derogatory term to start off a pathetic attempt to suppress women’s sexuality, so let’s see how you can enhance yours, shall we?

(Minors, please don’t interact with this one xoxo)

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides how you could enhance your sexuality to better your experience and express your sensuality, pick a pile to see what they had to say!

PILE 1

Blood on the snow by Hozier came on, so you guys could honestly benefit from having sex, or doing some type of sexual “ritual” when on your period, even if it just be a form of self pleasure. I’m hearing that some of you could have your period in cycle with the full moons, it could be a good idea to try your hand at giving yourself a release when the moon is bright and full.

I’m seeing that you guys have an innocent way of expressing your sexuality, I’m getting that you may have been sexualised at a young age, or you feel very infantilised now. Due to this, I feel like it could be good for you to reclaim the thing that people make you feel bad for, wear those frilly clothes, and put that bow in your hair, allow yourself to have your hair beautifully done in some pigtails, however do not allow someone to rip your innocence away from you, just because they see it differently does not mean that they have the right to make that your problem.

Your sex life could be nothing, or very inconsistent, you may be scared of hookups, or need deep emotional attachment in order to have sex with someone, I would recommend building those foundations for safe sexual encounters if that’s what you desire, or allowing yourself to let go of the need for control all the time. Hooking up, or having sex spontaneously does not make you disgusting or easy going, sex is fun and beautiful, it’s the one time that someone sees you at your most vulnerable state, your body undone and intertwined with theirs, but it can also be experimental and exciting, you get to learn new things about your body and figure out what you do and don’t like, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I’m literally getting “smoke a joint” lmao, you may feel like you’re too stressed to have fun with sex, maybe you’re scared of trying new things with your body, some of you could even shy away from masterbation out fear of judgment, or just feeling gross. You need to relax, sex is such a natural thing, and I’m sorry that yours has been so frowned upon from a young age, but you deserve to have fun, to explore your body, and all the possibilities that come with it.

Try a rose toy, possibly a pretty pink dildo, who knows.

PILE 2

I’m feeling that you guys haven’t had sex since a breakup, you’re possibly shying away from being openly sexual since this ending, and it’s hurting you a lot. A number of you feel as though your emotions are expressed through sex, so you’re really finding it hard at the moment to show people how you feel, and now blow up in their face, you’re like a bottle that’s spilling over.

You guys need to loosen up, you either turn to self pleasure a lot or not at all, no in between. You need to find yourself some way of expressing those emotions beside the sex, I’m feeling that your “shadows” don’t come out until night, which I believe was normally when you would partake in these two people sexual activities, which was why it was so easy for you to express yourself during these sexual encounters.

I feel like you need to have someone you trust in order to express your feelings, and for that I would recommend hanging around with your friends late at night, a possible sleepover, so then you’ll tell them exactly as you feel.

Now back to the sex, I feel my shoulders and back tensing up, and I just consciously unclenched my jaw, so I’m feeling that you need to utilise sex in order to relax. With the full moon, you guys might be feeling a tad more stressed than normal, I feel the need to tell you that will pass.

I heard “Italian” so I went to search up Italian sex toys incase that would help you, however I did manage to find a Reddit post that mentions a public vending machine selling dildos for €20, so for that, I am feeling that you need to be more open and willing to try new things, things that are unexpected but exciting, you could benefit from a hookup, preferably not your ex.

Throw them panties aside and enjoy yourself, loosen up, let yourself feel that pleasure that you are clearly so desperately seeking. Have fun, and do it unapologetically.

You could benefit from a bullet vibrator, or a clitoral pump.

PILE 3

You guys struggle to go with the flow, you let things happen, but they happen in a stylish way, you are the type to have a bed rocking time, and then complain about your favourite blanket getting dirty, before getting up and grabbing yourself something to eat. You ride the tide, and possibly something else. I think you like to be in control, but you struggle to get attached. You may have quite a few hookups, maybe you forgot about self pleasure and rely on other people to do that for you.

What would happen if you laid in bed by yourself, cracking open a pomegranate, letting the juice paint your chest like you’re its canvas, would that help you lose control? I’m seeing a need for mess, your body becoming covered in the red tint of the pomegranate, or maybe you’re eating a peach and letting the juice run down your chin, do you like fruit?

I’m getting a natural vibe to things, I think you need things to be natural, rather than so controlled. After having sex you’re going ahead and making yourself a bowl of nachos, how long does that take you? You have the add the nachos, then the cheese, some sauce, chillies, you putting guacamole on there too? It’s all too controlled.

Grab yourself a tub of ice cream and let someone go down on you, or give yourself a vibrator for that same effect.

Just lose the control.

This is random, but honestly probably a great exercise for you, I want you to put on some makeup, tons of mascara, lots of lipstick, or gloss. And then I want you to smudge it, stare at yourself in the mirror as you ruin your makeup, don’t try and redo it, don’t get upset or angry, don’t even hesitate, watch yourself as you allow your mind to let go of the need for perfection, the need for control.

Hell, drink a cup of coffee at night, just do something that will stop you being so authoritative when it comes to sex, also, stop being on top, just for a little, let your sexual partners take the lead this time.

You don’t need to be in control.

you could benefit from a rotating or thrusting dildo, or a travel/pocket vibrator.

[sister-lucifer]

Things the Creepypasta + Marble Hornets crew would do that would give me the ick 

Toby is very childish, sometimes in ways that aren’t cute. He’ll throw a whining, foot stomping tantrum if he doesn’t get something he really wants. He’s also as messy eater and will just walk around with stains on his mouth and shirt 

Tim is inconsiderate and apathetic a lot of the time and will put out his cigarette in your canned drink before thinking to ask if you’re done with it, and he’ll not only make you get another one but also ask you to get him a beer ‘since you’re up’

Jeff holds grudges against random people he doesn’t even know for insane amounts of time, like someone so much as brushes his shoulder on the subway you’ll hear about it for weeks. Also he can never ever see himself as being in the wrong in even the slightest way in any scenario no matter what and it’s impossible to hold a civil discussion with him

Brian has no idea what he wants out of any relationship, platonic or otherwise, and will accidentally lead you on jumping from ‘let’s be friends with benefits’ to ‘i’m deeply in love with you’ to ‘let’s just be friends’ and everything in between, not necessarily in that order

Jason The Toymaker is a bit effeminate with his way of dress and general self expression, but is so embarrassed and in denial about it that he does a 180 and accidentally turns into a misogynistic trad guy when he talks

Laughing Jack is not and will never be over his severe abandonment issues and will consistently invade your privacy (like breaking into your phone or laptop) to make sure you aren’t insulting him or planning to leave him behind his back

Eyeless Jack is generally very quiet which wouldn’t be an issue if it didn’t lead to very passive aggressive displays of unhappiness instead of just telling you what the issue is. Like instead of just asking you to do the dishes he’ll take the dirty dishes and stack them on your bedside table in the middle of the night. Doesn’t matter how good you usually are with meeting his needs and wants, this is his first course of action

Jane doesn’t really have feelings of her own anymore and sort of forgets that others have them. If you come to her to vent you’ll only feel worse because she’ll keep saying things like “well why don’t you just _____?” thinking she’s being helpful by offering a solution but failing to realize that’s not what you need right now

[joelswritingmistress]

Neighbors With Benefits: Part 10 (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Life felt completely up in the air. It was as exciting as it was anxiety-ridden. The BMW remained at Joel’s house overnight, and even long after you’d gotten home after your romantic romp in the lake, jealousy and insecurity ate away at your core - not to mention every other heightened emotion you could think that you had no idea what to do with.

He said he wanted this, you reminded yourself. Still, there was a looming dark cloud over your inner paradise in the form of the legal situation between Joel and Cecille. Should she try to convince him to take her back, maybe she would be enticing enough for him to agree to it. After all, this wasn’t some high school couple that was simply calling it quits. This was a marriage.

Your racing thoughts disallowed you to have a solid night’s sleep. Each time you awoke you took a glance out the window to see the car beside Joel’s truck. It was torture. When the morning finally did come, you were pleased to see Cicille enter her vehicle ahead of Joel. The question was, was she going to work, or was she leaving for good?

Your phone went off soon after, and you barricaded yourself in your room to take Joel’s call.

“Hey.” The one word practically came out as a sigh of relief.

“Hey.” Joel cleared his throat, “Look, I’m uh, I’m going golfing with your father after work.”

“Oh, yeah,” you remembered, “That was today huh?”

“Yeah.” He paused, “And then I’m going to get a room somewhere for the night.”

“Like a hotel?”

“Yeah.”

“So, is um… is Cecille staying there permanently then?”

“Honestly, things are a bit of a mess, and there’s nothing legally keeping her from being there. She loves to make my life a hell of a lot more difficult when it’s convenient for her, hence why this thing is ending the way it is.”

“I’m sorry.” You sighed.

“I shouldn’t even be venting all that out to you,” Joel went on. “But, I just wanted to let you know that I wasn’t going to be at the house tonight.”

It felt like a crushing blow that you were potentially losing Joel as a neighbor. Having him right next door was exciting and fun. Sneaking back and forth had been an addicting addition to the relationship. To have his ex-wife appearing out of the blue to take the house back over felt unfair, if their verbal agreement had stated otherwise.

“What hotel are you staying at?”

“I have to make some calls on my lunch break,” he explained. “And, uh… if you’re around I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“I’m around,” you explained with a nod, though you knew he couldn’t see the gesture.

Joel hesitated before speaking again. “Thanks for… understanding. I’m sorry for how this all must seem from your point of view.”

“I trust you,” you said to him. “Divorces happen and from what I’ve heard through the grapevine they’re rarely easy.” You paused a second before adding, “I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.” Joel sighed heavily on the other end of the line, “I, uh… I’m really lucky to have you, honey.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Despite all the heavy feelings, a smile still formed on your face.

“I’ll text ya the name of the hotel this afternoon.”

“Okay.”

“I, uh, I can’t wait to see ya. I know it’s only been since last night but I got used to you sleeping next to me.”

Your heart went from a steady beat to outright pounding in your chest. “I loved waking up next to you.” And I fucking love you!  You wanted to shout it. You wanted to cry as you told him. The thought of it alone made you want to burst into tears but you didn’t know why. The feelings were so intense and the circumstances were so up in the air that it left you feeling a bit tossed in all directions. It was overwhelming.

“Well, if you’ll have me, tomorrow morning you will.” Pep returned to his voice as he spoke those words.

“You know by now that I’ll gladly have you.”

“Okay, then,” Joel said, “It’s a date.”

That was enough to hold you over. While the long term held some serious questions, the short term had you back to walking on air. Spending the night at a hotel with Joel already felt like a little slice of heaven. No one would know where you were. No one would be there to potentially interrupt or catch you. In your mind, you could play house again and act in your fantasy world like you were husband and wife.

When you made your way back downstairs to see your mother filling her travel coffee mug, you smiled. “I can make the pasta salad for the picnic tomorrow,” you offered, “And whatever other appetizers will hold overnight. Oh, and I’ll set up the volleyball net this afternoon. Dad’s going golfing, I think.”

“Thank you,” you mother said with a smile. “That would be great.”

“Hey, I’m not going to be home tonight, but I promise I’ll be back for the picnic.”

“You’re staying out?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

“Holly’s?”

“Mm-hmm.”

You mother squinted her eyes. “Is there… something you’re not telling me?” She asked with playful accusation.

“Like what?”

“Well… you barely stay at this house anymore,” she began, putting a hand up before you could protest,” And it’s fine, you’re a young woman, you can do as you please. But, as your mom, of course I’m a little curious.”

Crap. Where was she going with this?

“Are you in some kind of secret relationship?”

“Mom…” You shook your head.

“With some guy… or even with Holly?”

Your eyes bugged out of your head and you began to laugh. “What? Holly’s been my best friend since middle school.”

“It happens.” She shrugged, making you laugh further. It was a relief that she thought of Holly before Joel, though you knew sooner or later you would have to tell her the truth.

“No,” you giggled now, “I can’t wait to tell her you said that.”

“Oh, don’t make fun of me,” she said, shaking her head, “You girls always teamed up on us moms growing up.”

“Some things never change,” you teased, laughing out loud. In the lighthearted nature of your talk, you almost wanted to blurt out the truth and tell her you were in love with Joel. In your heart, you knew a part of her wouldn’t judge, but the other rational part of her would break down every reason why getting involved with him was a terrible idea - and you didn’t need that right then. Still, you decided to be half honest with your mother. “I am seeing someone,” you admitted.

“I knew it.”

You chuckled, “But, I didn’t want to put anyone in an awkward position so I kept pretending I was staying over at Holly’s”

“Who is he? Did you meet him at school? What was his major?”

“It’s still a bit new,” you explained, “But I really… really like him. A lot.”

Your mom’s face seemed to glow. “You’ve never said that about anyone… maybe your high school boyfriend, but…” She shook her head, “Oh, I can’t wait to meet him!”

You already have. A smile lingered on your face but you could feel how forced it was from the tense feeling in your cheeks.

“You will,” you explained, “I promise. In time. I just… maybe don’t tell Dad. It’s a weird, in-between time I’m in. I feel like an adult and a kid at the same time and I’m living with you guys and-”

“I get it,” your mother cut you off, “I’ll keep it between us. I’m glad you’ve met someone that makes you… glow.” She grinned, “I knew it. I knew something was different. He treats you nice?”

“Yes,” you said right away, “Very nice. He’s a gentleman. I think you and Dad have set a good example of what to look for in a relationship.” You winked and decided to butter her up a bit - not that it wasn’t true; but sucking up a little wouldn’t hurt once she found out that Joel Miller was your secret lover.

“Your father and I love each other very much,” she concluded, capping her coffee. Your mother smiled and pointed at you, “He’s a good man.”

“And a great Dad.” You exchanged a kiss on the cheek, “And of course you’re a great mom.”

“Stop trying to make me cry before work.” She cupped your face, “My baby is growing up. And it’s hurting me and making me smile all at once.”

You smiled back at her, exchanged another hug and then parted ways for the day. You spent your day cooking and did a little baking before whipping out all of the yard games for the following afternoon. The volleyball net was a little frustrating to set up alone, but you figured it out. And then you followed with setting up cornhole, staking in a set up for horseshoes and even dragging out a set of folding tables so everything was more or less ready for Saturday.

“Hey!” Joel’s voice caught your attention unexpectedly from next door later in the day.

You whipped around with a smile and had the urge to run across the yard to greet him. You played it cool, of course and smiled, staring at him with your hands on your hips.

“Hey!” You shouted back.

“Straighten out those horseshoe pits! They’re cooked!” Joel smiled wide and winked.

You laughed and bit your bottom lip. “Maybe you should come over and straighten them out.”

“I can’t,” he motioned like he was hitting a golf ball, “I’m play golf with my girlfriend’s father.”

He said that loud enough for anyone to hear, but you realized that no one was home to even question it. It made you laugh out loud.

“Keep you ball out of the rough,” you shouted through cupped hands.

Joel began to laugh out loud. He smirked and put his hands out the sides. “No promises.”

Fuck. You wanted to kiss him. No, you wanted to pounce on him.

“Check your phone in about thirty seconds.”

“Okay.”

“Your dad comped me a room on the golf course,” he went on with a shrug, “Felt bad about what’s been going on.”

“He what?”

“I hope that’s okay,” Joel added.

“Oh, yeah…” You hadn’t realized your shock had translated into some form of disapproval, “Of course that’s fine. That’s a really nice hotel.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, “Check in is any time after four. I’ll still be playing then, but you can go whenever you’d like.”

“Do I just use your name?”

“I know it’s probably risky but I gave both of ours.”

You smiled. “Well, I better go inside and freshen up then. I’ve been sweating out here the last hour.”

Joel looked around in all directions before making the trek over to your yard. Your heart rate began to pick up again and you took just a few, nearly-frozen steps toward him. When he reached where you stood he asked, “When do they get home?”

“I, um.. well-”

“Do you have any butter I can borrow?” Joel smiled playfully, reminiscent of the first conversation you’d had together on the back step.

You smiled back and swallowed hard. “I have whatever you need.”

“Is there time?” he asked more directly, looking you in the eye.

“There’s time,” you whispered back, as if someone might hear you.

Joel looked like he wanted to pull you against him and kiss you; but he didn’t. He let out a deep breath, holding your eye contact until you led him inside the back door a step behind you. When you got inside it was as if he had been overseas at war. You didn’t know if you pulled him to you, or he pulled you to him, but your lips crashed against one another’s.

Wondering if you could get caught was the farthest thing from your mind when your hand was tangled in Joel’s wavy hair. He held you with such force and kissed you with such ferocity that you couldn’t hold back what you were feeling.

“I love you,” you gasped in between kisses, “Fuck, I love you, Joel.”

Joel’s tongue dominated yours harder and you only separated from him because you felt like you couldn’t breathe. He let out a gasping breath of his own and let out several deep breaths into your open mouth.

“I love you, too, honey.” He swallowed hard, pecked your lips and you kissed on another more firmly. Joel’s hand lingered on the side of your face. “I fucking love you.”

CLICK HERE FOR PART 11

@pedropascal111 @axshadows @mybritishstyle @untamedheart81 @amyispxnk @goodvibesonly421 @cosmic006533-blog @ashleyfilm @maybetomorrowgirl @rebeccawinters @cuteanimalmama @writlingerz @vickie5446 @drewharrisonwriter @churchofjoemiller

[bluesgrxce]

Yandere (machine-ish?) Connor Headcanons

I love soft deviant Connor like anyone else does, but machine Connor is sooo,,, omgggggggg..... I've been holding in my thoughts about him for so long that it's unhealthy. So I went for a Hannah Montana best of both worlds kinda thing. What if Connor acted like a deviant around you, but a machine towards everyone else?

How this happens is something I can't quite explain. Connor probably couldn't, either. To everyone else, an android is either a machine or a deviant-- There's no such thing as an inbetween. He would have agreed with this prior to bonding with you. You probably treated him in a way that nobody else did, sympathizing with him on a deeper level or making him question his morals, so he can see why that would push him to deviancy. 

But when you're not around, all those overwhelming emotions he felt just fade away. The mission goes back front and center to his priorities. He only feels two things at that point: confusion that runs his LED wild and desire for you that makes his thirium pump pound even when he's not in motion. Nobody else can bring about such reactions within him. 

He runs plenty of diagnostic checks in an attempt to figure out what's wrong with him. At one point, he'll try to avoid you and force himself into staying a machine, but that just makes him less efficient because he'll constantly worry about you instead. 

He would eventually accept himself as a deviant, but only so he wouldn't have to take orders from Cyberlife anymore. He doesn't want anything standing between the two of you. But he still largely acts like a machine and he doesn't mind that at all. He just sets his new mission to making you entirely his... 

Even once Connor sees his emotions as real, it's still his natural instinct to mask them. Especially negative ones like anger, sadness, and jealousy. He wouldn't want to show them unless they benefit his situation somehow, such as if he wanted to persuade or intimidate you/others. Emotions only matter to him if they're useful. 

For example, he *does* feel the desire to show affection towards you, and he will do it. He'll compliment you whenever you do something admirable. He'll reassure you and show geniune worry whenever you're upset about something. He'll even study romance media just to learn how to act more natural in the relationship (He thinks that'll help him act more natural, anyway... Lord help you if he gets his hands on Twilight 💀 But if the Bryan Dechart Twilight commercial is anything to go off of, he'd look good as a vampire, at least). 

But he doesn't do that stuff simply because he loves you. He does it because he knows your relationship benefits from it and you'll likely leave him if you feel neglected. He wouldn't bother if he knew it wouldn't keep you around. So if your relationship isn't exactly consensual in the first place, well... 

Which makes him sound pretty manipulative, right? You have no idea. 

Connor's android abilities give him a terrifying amount of advantages as a yandere. The first thing is that he always analyzes you when you enter the room, even though that often means analyzing you multiple times a day. It never bores him because he always manages to discover something new. Sometimes he'll blurt out random comments and you'll have to do a double take because he makes it easy to forget that he's obsessed with you.

"Your birthday is coming up soon. You might already know I'm aware of that type of information, but you should still bring it up with me. Otherwise I'll have to start believing I can't trust you and I'll have to make my own investigations." 

"Your heart rate goes up every time I touch you like this. I didn't realize physical contact was so important to human relationships. Don't worry, I won't stop. I won't let anyone stop me."

"Your serotonin levels are at an all-time low... Clearly, it can't be my fault, since I've done everything I am sure a good boyfriend would do. I'd like you to be honest when you tell me what's wrong this time."

The red flags fly higher as time goes on. He'll stop talking about all these observations if you tell him to, but he'll keep analyzing you anyway. 

Connor is enamoured with your DNA, as well. It helps him feel closer to you, which can often be difficult for him since he's not human. So if it belongs to you, and it can fit, it's going in his mouth. He'll do gross shit like keep your used lollipop sticks in his pocket so he can sample them whenever he wants. There's only one emotion he can't feel no matter what you do: shame. 

The invasive behavior doesn't stop there. He'll invite himself into your home and go through your things. He'll keep asking questions and trick you into revealing more information about yourself than you should. Knowing everything there possibly is to know about you gives him a stronger feeling of control for a single reason...

Your chance of escape plummets as he learns more about you, because it allows him to predict your behavior. He'll get scary accurate if you let him get close to you. This mostly benefits him in situations where he believes you want to leave him, or you did leave him, so he can figure out what you plan to do/already did and find the best method to get you back. If you already did leave, he'll examine your recent whereabouts like it's a crime scene and use his reconstruction ability. Even if you're insanely careful, he'll probably find a clue that'll lead him to you.

But sometimes he'll do it in normal situations, too, just as a silent guessing game. For instance: '(Y/N) will enter the police station at 8:18AM. I'm waiting for them at the entrance, so they'll greet me, but speed-walk away and avert eye contact. They'll head into the break room at 8:19AM and pretend to look around a bit, so Gavin won't make fun of them when they go for the same snack they always do. Gavin will make fun of them anyway and they'll argue for two minutes. Then--'

He has to stop thinking so he can greet you when you enter the building. Exactly at 8:18AM. He smirks to himself, only to drop into a frown when he hears Gavin's distant obnoxious laughter afterward. 

Remember how Connor once analyzed Hank's food and advised him against eating it? He does stuff like that to you all the time. And if you actually take the advice he gives, he'll take that as an opportunity to become more controlling. Oh, but only for the sake of your health, of course...

"You know, you shouldn't sit in that type of position. Bad posture can lead to health issues later on in life." "Then how should I sit?" "...It'll be easier if I show you." 

And so he'll help re-position you, using that as an excuse to touch you. He would especially do this if you weren't yet in a relationship, because he knows that as the type of android he is, he doesn't have a good reason to do so. The touch only lasts a brief moment. It's not inappropriate at all, and his grip was quite gentle. But it's weird that he went out of his way to do in the first place and that's all you might need to feel uncomfortable about it. 

But a lot of that is based off of the assumption that you're human. If you're an android, he still manages to find invasive things to do against your will. For one thing, he loves probing your memory. It's already difficult to lie to him and get away with it, but that might make it impossible, depending on what you're lying about. He doesn't care that it's an invasion of privacy and will do it if he finds a good excuse to do so.

Connor keeps an eye on your stress level and uses it to his advantage. He prefers to use persuasion when convincing you to do something, (he knows how to negotiate, after all) but he'll ultimately turn to intimidation if necessary. Which means heading straight into interrogation mode. 

This won't happen unless you're extremely rebellious, but if it does, he doesn't hold back. He'll treat you like you're a sick criminal, yelling at you, pushing blame and guilt onto you, and using physical force. 28 stab wounds type shit. He would avoid raising your stress level to 100% since he knows it could drive you to do crazy things, but that still doesn't make his actions okay. 

Even if you're really sensitive to that sort of treatment-- hell, even if you have some kind of trauma related to it-- he pushes away what little guilt he feels. He promises not to do it again "as long as you don't force me to." Actually, though, it encourages him to do it more. He knows it works against you now. 

His abilities don't stop there. He can mimic your voice using his vocal imitation, and all the voices of your loved ones, too. He went out of his way to meet them all, just in case he needs to trick you in the future. He likes being prepared. 

There are times when he's alone and he'll say stuff in your voice just so he can hear what it would sound like, such as, "I love you, Connor." Once again, he doesn't feel shame. Even if that seems pathetic. 

Let's just say it now. You cannot physically fight back against him. Maybe you'll have a chance if you're an android, but he knows about his advantage very well. He won't hesitate to remind you if you try getting aggressive. But even if you manage to get rid of him once, there's another model waiting to take his place. 

On a related note... I hope you never meet RK900. We only saw that guy for a minute, he said absolutely nothing in that minute, but the whole fandom has agreed that he's a menance. I fully agree. RK900 is definitely different from Connor, but they still have just enough similarities for him to get attached to you, too. Get help while you still can. 

The video of Bryan Dechart dancing as Connor lives rent free in my mind. I watch it on repeat like an iPad kid watching Friday Night Funkin' YouTube Kids videos. My brain just melts and I can't think of anything else. No, this isn't me simping for Bryan Dechart. This is me wanting Connor dancing to be canon. A girl can dream.

[cometcon]

I've been getting increasingly pissed off at stuff like this with Helluva Boss for a while now so I'm running out of room for patience and giving the benefit of the doubt.

I'm not Deaf/HoH but I do have audio processing disorder and I have been involved with the Deaf/HoH community through learning Auslan and needing some of the same accommodations in my life so it's becoming increasingly apparent just how much they get short-changed by a society that does not care and has to be pressed constantly for the bare minimum of accommodating anyone other than the expected default abled demographic.

I'm sorry but while having a character who signs was fucking amazing to see even as a Hearing person

and it's been genuinely great to have the last episode of Season 1 with actual subtitles and all of Season 2 up to this one having actual subtitles

SEASON 1 STILL HAS FUCKING AUTO-GEN

We have to read T R A N S C R I P T S to understand what's going on in the entirety of Season 1 except for the final episode because while Hearing people who aren't affected by needing actual subtitles seem to think autogen and otherwise having to engage with just a transcript is good enough, news flash, IT ISN'T. Autogen has been getting better but it still fucks up (if your accommodation doesn't bring everyone up to speed with the same access as abled people your accommodation isn't good enough) and if your video is older like Season 1s are then they're FUCKING AWFUL. Even good autogen takes more energy to engage with than proper subtitles making it still more difficult than it needs to be to engage with a video.

This has annoyed me for a while but I was hoping they just needed some time to sort out someone to go make subtitles and put them up.

At the very least I figured ok, they're at least putting proper subtitles up for Season 2. Took them until OOPS came out to do it if I recall correctly, but they did it. Strange they stopped at the end of Season 1 but ok, whatever. Give them time.

Nothing has changed. It's been 3 years and nothing has changed.

Then The Full Moon dropped directly after Mammon's Magnificent Musical. I was expecting there to be proper subtitles since Season 2 now is being given them upon release.

...

So basically fuck anyone who needs proper subtitles.

This

is officially lip service to look good, not proper representation.

You can't follow this with fucking autogenerated bullcrap pretending to be accommodation.

I saw someone sending an ask in an hour or so ago to another blog to talk about The Full Moon and mentioned offhandedly in it that they had to look at the transcript to catch a line they wanted to understand and talk about.

I'd been hoping they would just put the subtitles up maybe a day or so later at least.

IT'S BEEN A WEEK.

Vivzie doesn't care about Deaf/HoH people. She chucked the kid in for brownie points. And hey, sure, brownie point rep is better than no rep, but it isn't actual representation and really doesn't deserve that much praise if you immediately follow it up with a fucking AUTOGEN ENGLISH ONLY EPISODE.

Sincerely, fuck you too.

EDIT: There are proper subtitles on The Apology Tour, so I'm glad for that at least. It came out like two weeks after The Full Moon meaning it had to be in production at the same time so idk why they could put subtitles on release for TAT and not TFM, but whatever. And hilariously (read: mystifyingly and infuriatingly) enough, THE FULL MOON STILL ONLY HAS AUTOGEN AS OF THIS EDIT BEING TYPED ON THE 25TH OF JUNE 2024. Why? Why is it the only one without subtitles in S2? Why is S1 still all auto-gen even now, right up until the Kesha-song episode? Spindlehorse continues to confuse and annoy me with their flipflopping on their supposed caring about accommodation.

[keepittoyourshelf]

Since the algorithm on my various socials thinks I actually want to see a ton of people simping over Rhys and ACOTAR, let’s get down to the bones of why that algorithm is fucked beyond all comprehension, shall we?

I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m pro-Tamlin, not in the sense that I approve of what he did, but from the place that I believe he’s worthy of forgiveness in the same way any of the men that SJM otherwise glorifies in her work is worthy of it for any of their transgressions.

I shouldn’t have to do a paint by numbers thing here to make this obvious, but based on the actual text written by SJM in her own words, Tamlin has objectively done nothing better or worse than Rhysand has.

The big complaint is his temper, of course, and pro-Rhysies love to bullshit about how the red flags were all over book 1 and SJM is such a master at foreshadowing.

He locked Feyre in a house against her will to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be caged. How is that any worse than Rhysand…drugging her and making her give him lap dances, in order to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be dancing naked in front of strangers?

Go on. I’ll wait for your rationalization.

Rhysand’s whole shtick was that he’s only playing the villain to keep Velaris (and only Velaris) safe…those fucks in the Hewn City can eat a bag of dicks, right? But tell me again how Tamlin is the really bad one for enforcing a tithe because it’s unfair to those who can’t afford it (fair point). But Rhysand chooses to save the one city in his court that has zero problems. Let’s let those that might already be suffering from poverty get kidnapped and tortured by a psychopath. That’s probably better than a tithe, right?

And let’s not forget how Tamlin mocked Feyre and Rhys at the High Lords meeting. While funny, it was in poor taste. At least Rhysand didn’t publicly mock Tamlin. He had the decency to do it privately when he went out of his way to go to a deeply troubled man’s house and, in the midst of an obvious mental health crisis, not only had the gall to ask for resources from a man that has no resources because his own wife fucking destroyed them out of spite, but proceeds to rub in his triumph over a man that has nothing left. Nothing to see there, right?

Even if you could ignore all of that (and you’d have to be willfully fucking thick to do so, which a lot of these people are), I shall leave you with Tamlin’s role as a spy for Hybern. That’s obviously supposed to be a real shock because TaMliN BaD at this point, so why would anyone believe him? It’s not like he had a really good explanation like Rhys gave when he murdered literal children and innocents just to ensure Amarantha didn’t know how noble he actually was. Right? RIGHT?! And it’s not like anyone would have a harder time believing someone who had played evil and done actually evil things for the “greater good” (a collectivist dog whistle if there ever was one) for fifty fucking years over the dude that suddenly goes bad after being a progressive and respected high lord for the same period of time? I mean, it’s not like we’re dealing with severe mental anguish and trauma here. That’s crazy talk.

Shadow Daddy does no wrong. Even when he does. Because reasons.

Those idiots on TikTok making stupid videos showing their bf’s being all shocked and I KNEW IT when Tamlin “turns” can chew glass along with all those dipshits selling mugs that say “Tamlin’s Tears” on Etsy right next to merch glorifying a man that literally gaslit his soulmate into believing that forced drunken naked lap dances were actually a good thing, when you think about it.

SJM isn’t a master of foreshadowing. She’s a sloppy writer of moderately entertaining fiction that has a kink for glorifying severely unhealthy behaviors without the benefit of a trigger warning.

Fuck off if you think that’s all okay and think that anyone that says Tamlin isn’t any worse comparatively is the crazy one. Projection is a real disorder. Look it up. Right after you order your 543rd Rhysand candle.

[hwamphwamp]

bf!xdinary heroes headcanons

a/n: this is so self-indulgent it’s ridiculous, like I’m pumping out so many things right now just to get l a serotonin boost of my own at this point 🥲

gunil: your personal walking wallet

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hasn’t let you pay for a single thing since he first asked you out

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Which wouldn’t be very concerning if your first date wasn’t three years ago

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ As long as he’s around you’re getting the bag you’ve been eyeing for weeks, and quite frankly anything and everything else you could possibly want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Even when he’s not around, he has ways of still paying for everything

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Writes the days you get your nails done in his calendar so he knows when you’re gonna get them done again and can send you the money in time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Whenever you asked him why he won’t let you pay for anything, his response was always “because it makes you smile after you’re done complaining”, so who were you to stop him from being the walking wallet he apparently wanted to be?

jungsu: gives you flowers every time you see him

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Literally doesn’t show up to a date, a sleepover, literally any type of meetup with you without some kind of flowers

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You told him ONCE when you first started dating that you love flowers and when he asked what your favorite flower to receive was, you admitted that you’d never been given flowers by a partner

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Ever since then he started going out of his way to find some sort of flower to bring with him when he was blessed (his words, not yours) by your presence

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He keeps track of your forever changing favorite flower and flower color (this week it was pale pink chrysanthemums) and when you start to complain that he’s spending way too much money on getting you flowers, he simply starts bringing you one singular flower until you stop complaining since you hate to see the one singular flower in the vase alone

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sends you a bouquet once a week when he’s away on tour because he refuses to let you be flowerless as long as he lives

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Since you love to collect postcards, he sends you one from each city with little origami flowers he learned to make inside the envelope just to make you smile

jiseok/gaon: built-in photographer

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You never even had to ask him to take pictures of you, better yet good ones

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ After your first couple of dates he sent you a few candid pictures he’d taken of you, swearing he just wanted to provide you with good Instagram pictures when you accused him of already being down bad for you but his red cheeks and ears say otherwise

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Once you start doing your little outfits of the day for him, he decided to make it his mission to take so many pictures that he’d put paparazzi around the world to shame

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ The man is literally dropping into the spider-man pose to get good shots and complaining about how he thinks he pulled something the next day like it wasn’t the consequences of his own actions

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Half the nights he sleeps alone are spent looking through the pictures he’s taken of you and smiling like the lovesick fool he is

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Will deny that he does all of this for his own benefit but remind him that he’s taking all of these pictures on his phone that he took without you having to ask and suddenly he’s ready to change the subject

seungmin/o.de: dresses you every chance he gets

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You were having one (1) singular bad week around half a year into your relationship; bad enough that you could barely get yourself out of bed better yet pick out clothes and get yourself out of the house

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You’d both seen each other in your underwear by then so when you cancelled on him for the second time because you “didn’t feel like going out”, he still showed up with takeout and, upon realizing that you were in more of a slump than he thought, he immediately made you sit on the edge of your bed half naked as he entered your closet and picked out multiple comfortable outfits for you to wear

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He helped you put on everything after you decided which outfit you wanted to wear and after seeing how that one action lifted your spirit, he makes a habit of helping you get dressed whether you’re in a good mood or not

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Doesn’t see it as a huge deal; he just likes to spend that extra bit of time with you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He’d never admit it but he really loves it when someone compliments your outfit and your face lights up as you tell them he picked it out for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Do the same thing for him and he’d literally lose his mind but that’s neither here nor there

hyeongjun/junhan: cooks for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He cooked for you once a couple months into you dating when you couldn’t agree on what to get for takeout and all it took was you calling him a good cook one time for him to start cooking for you every chance he gets

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Gives you the typical “it’s no big deal babe” reply when you tell him the food is amazing but on the inside he’s doing Simone Biles style flips

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Pretends he doesn’t understand why you’re so addicted to pinterest when he literally has multiple secret boards dedicated to stuff he wants to cook for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Literally has the boards divided by food you grew up eating, food he grew up eating, appetizers/entrées/desserts, like he does not play about this shit

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Does all of this just to see you do your lil happy dancey dance while you eat, he’s down ATROCIOUS for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Will get offended if you share with the guys because he did NOT spend three hours in the kitchen for frat brothers #1-5 to waltz in and eat everything in sight

jooyeon: writes you love letters

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He’s literally so lovesick it’s crazy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Like he has so much love for you that it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy whenever he remembers that you’re both in love and you’re all his

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Would scream how much he loves you from the rooftop if he could (he’s literally an idol so sadly he’d have to settle for screaming it into his pillow)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Since he can’t, he figured the next best thing was sending you love letters whether he was on tour or literally right next to you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ The letters range from “you’re the love of my life and my future wife, I can’t imagine my life without you” to “your eyes are the color of dirt and I think that’s neat, we should kiss”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ As goofy as he made the whole ordeal, it still means the world to you and you make sure to let him know that (he is literally a blushing mess while boldly stating that they’re not a big deal every single time)

[revvethasmythh]

I’ve already seen someone say that the wildmother “emotionally manipulated and distracted orym into not asking any questions” and I’m like…. What? How? What’s with people in this fandom accusing every other character of manipulating other characters? Do you think it was manipulation?

I'm honestly not terribly surprised to see takes like that appear--and, to be entirely fair, I think it's possible there was some manipulation there inasmuch as there was during the Changebringer's commune with FCG. They need these mortals' help; it's not surprising to think they'd appeal to them in a specific way to acquire that help.

That said, some of the takes I've seen really truly rely on a bad faith analysis of Melora's intentions there. I think it's worth noting that she has been courting Orym/has taken an interest in Orym since at least episode 42! Her interest in him is neither recent nor surprising and she, without any strings, has provided boons to him throughout the campaign. I think Orym himself is wary of the possibility of being manipulated, hence some of his hesitation after coming out of the vision, and his statement that he's willing to stand with Wildmother as a "partner" more than a follower. This is a man who doesn't really trust the gods, but could nonetheless benefit from an alliance with one.

And, the thing is, you could point to almost any act of kindness and invent a way that it could be manipulation. That's what a lot of those takes sound like to me. Why did Melora only speak to Orym and not any of the other Hells who are more critical of the gods? Because she's been courting Orym for 62 episodes now. Why did she pull away when he questioned her about Aeor? She was opening up a new path for him to walk down in the vision. Why did she show him a cosmic horror that almost broke him? He asked to see it. Why did she comfort him after that? She didn't actually mean to hurt him and was apologizing. Why did she show him Will? Because Will's soul is actually in her domain and letting Orym see him again is, like, nice. Sure, you can assess a lot of those things as manipulative if you want to--but that's a choice you have to make about assessing something in good or bad faith, just like in anything else. And Orym appears to be taking it on good faith at present, which is probably the best foot to put forward, even if you are not entirely sure of someone's full intentions. "Assess in good faith until proven otherwise" is where I'm sitting on this, particularly given the history of past positive relationships Melora has fostered with other characters in the campaigns.

[circeyoru]

Angelic Doctor _ Part 2

[Human!Alastor x Disguised Angel!Reader]

Part 1

Part 2 (here)

You tried. You really tried. You ignored that blood-red colour his soul had and tried to change him, maybe even turn it into a lighter shard so he could be redeemed or saved in some other way. But there was a reason why that blood-red colour was such a dread to Angels like you, it was dreaded for the known reason that that mortal was an evil person. One that was barely forced to do evil, unlike those with criminal parents or cultists led down a wrong path. No, no, no. These people were the ones who picked their fate and enjoyed it

You had thought Alastor’s kindness and caring persona shown to you would help you persuade him to turn over a new leaf, but he merely favoured you and that was that. No benefits for you to take advantage of that would change the dark person he was

Alastor noticed your advances. Was it to get him into Heaven? Dear, you are so pure and adorable! Words can’t describe it! He was doomed to Hell the moment his shock turned to excitement at his first kill which was his father! Instead of getting him to Heaven, he wants to bring you down to Hell with him

He thought that spending the remainder of his time on Earth with you was enough, but it wasn’t. The more he spent his time with you, the more he wanted to keep you to himself. A darling just for him and his interest only

He started small, asking you out on days off or break time, taking you to visit local cafes he thinks are good or needs a companion to go for those pair offer deals. Then it started to grow, he’d take you to work, walk you back home as he insisted that the streets were dangerous since the cops had yet to catch that deadly killer, even wait for your breaks to come so that he could have a meal with you. He knows you’re a busy person, being a doctor that everyone relied upon and trusted and all that goodness

Originally, he thought your goodness and kindness were a facade to draw people in or a way to earn people’s gratitude towards you. Yet in his time with her, you remained constant, sure there were moments where you let out some steam and vent, but otherwise you were the perfect opposite of him. This just solidifies his fear that the two of you will be apart after one of you dies, forever

In a desperate attempt, he tried binding your soul to his so that even when you die first and go to Heaven, the moment he dies and is dragged down to Hell, you’ll join him. Vice versa

That when he found out you’re not even human. You were a literal Angel

You were made aware of Alastor’s attempt since your angelic powers activated themselves in the middle of the night while you were peacefully asleep. Your wings were summoned and your hair turned white as your halo appeared over your head. At the foot of your bed, you found Alastor with a spellbook of some kind. Around your bed was the setting of some ritual

Betrayed by your kindness, you rushed out of Alastor’s manor that he offered to you during the Great Depression that brought so much suffering. In a twisted turn of event, your time was up and your opportunity came in the form of a lightning shock. Thus, your return to Heaven after your journey on Earth in the city of New Orleans

Alastor barely had the time to compute the failed soul binding, then there was your angelic self, but the most devastating realization was your death. Of course, he knew you weren’t dead, but you’re as good as dead because he would never see you again. You’d be above and he’d be below. He’d never be able to contact you. Never

In a fit of uncontrollable rage and despair, he went on a murder spree. His clean-up getting more and more sloppy until he was cornered and killed by the pack animals that were called the loyal friends of humans

Note: A bit short, but that's all I got. I've seen a lot of Angel!Reader oneshots or headcanons or imagines and had to do one myself. It was fun but a bit short compared to my other ones ╚(″⚈ᴗ⚈)╗

P.S. I have no idea where you guys come from! Thanks for the support!! ( ´•ᗨ•`)っ ♡

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[showtoonzfan]

So according to Charlie’s point of view, ever since Lucifer and Lilith split, he never called or hung out with her unless he needed a favor. He also didn’t even know where she was or what she was doing, so he hasn’t been in her life at all for years. Hell, Charlie even says she barley knew him af a young age. And yet he’s portrayed as a wimpy goofball, who desperately wants to reconnect with her the moment she calls, even celebrating the fact that she wanted to see him. So….why did he never see her before? The episode never explains that. They act as if he’s been wanting to reconnect with her for so long and was depressed due to it, yet according to what we’re told, he never put in the effort to actually go see her all these years, he didn’t even know about her life or the hotel project. It also threw me off on how he instantly agreed to help her run the hotel, he was so happy and eager so why didn’t he do that sooner?

And as expected, Lucifer isn’t called out on this. In fact, he sings about how much he cares about Charlie, how she’s the only thing worth protecting and he’ll adore her. Cool beans man, but if you cared about her that much, you had a funny way of showing it by doing nothing for 7 years. The only thing he’s “demonized” for is the fact that he has no hope for sinners, and no hope for Heaven agreeing to redeem them, but they just pull the “he was an uwu baby who’s dreams were crushed and he doesn’t want the same to happen to his daughter”- and then it’s all lazily patched up in the end. Like I see so many fans cry and say how much of a good dad Lucifer is, yet the dialogue leaves me to believe otherwise lol, like he ignored his daughter for years and only used her when it would benefit him. It’s just really confusing cause the Lucifer we meet doesn’t match up with the Lucifer they built up, the pilot is confirmed canon so he still technically called her a failure and if anything you’d think Charlie would have a closer relationship with her mother instead— like….I’m 100% convinced him being a bumbling softie and Lilith being the villain was a last minute decision.

And even then, when “More than Anything” started, it made me feel nothing cause the show forgot to build up on Lucifer and the relationship between his daughter ON screen as well as taking time to make their rekindling feel earned. Instead none of it is earned, and I’m getting tired of Viv excusing and wanting us to applaud her goofy dad characters for doing the bare minimum lol. (Cough, Stolas).

[intheholler]

On Appalachian and Southern Stereotypes

After seeing some people leap at the opportunity to insult and further harm us under my posts, even by obviously leftist accounts, I wanted to address some of the most popular stereotypes of our region.

Not as an excuse. There are many negative, violent and otherwise harmful features of the American South. We have a horrific history especially in terms of the violence we inflicted and continue to inflict upon the Black community that cannot be forgotten, and, as a culture, we do need to pay our dues.

But maybe this will help y’all apply some nuance to the situation and understand that we aren’t all your enemy.

Stereotype 1: Everyone is a Republican Racist

Absolute horse shit, my friends. There are people like me all over the south and in the hollers. We just get drowned out by the fascists, and it is all by design. 

In my home state of North Carolina alone, they are working tirelessly to make it impossible for young, often liberal (if not outright leftist) voices to be heard. They specifically target regions with heavy POC populations.

As recently as May of this year, the North Carolina Supreme Court overturned their own previous ruling which once made gerrymandering illegal. This allows Republicans free range to draw their congressional lines wherever benefits them most. 

Meanwhile, Roy Cooper, our Democratic governor, has been in office since 2017.

Gerrymandering is a real problem, and it reflects the worst of us. But it does not reflect all of us.

We are a working class, pro-union people.

We are coal miners and mill workers and farmers.

We took up arms against the government and fought for our labor rights during the Coal Wars as recently as the 1920s.

We bled for labor rights at the Battle of Blair Mountain.

It’s a myth that you keep perpetuating that we are all closed minded, bigoted regressionists. It diminishes the efforts of everyone from the coal miners to people like me while we try to make the region a better place.

It actually only worsens what you say that you wish you could “saw off into the ocean.” 

That's my home you're talking about.

Stereotype 2: Everyone is Obese

36.3% of the overall population of the Southeast is obese. This is true.

Have you considered why that may be? For starters, Southerners are more likely to be uninsured compared to individuals living in the rest of the country.

"Among the total nonelderly population, 15% of individuals in the South are uninsured compared to 10% of individuals in the rest of the country."

Partially because they didn't even expand the same Medicaid benefits to us. and partially because we are just so fucking poor. 

17% of the American South is below the poverty line, compared to 13% in the Midwest, 13% in the West, and 13% in the Northeast.

Percentages under 5% may not seem like much, but when you consider 1% of the total United States population is around 3,140,000 people, yeah, that adds up real quick.

How does this relate? Well...

Mississippi has 19.58% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 39.1% obesity rate.

West Virginia has 17.10% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 40.6 % obesity rate.

Kentucky has 16.61% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 40.4% obesity rate.

Are you seeing the trend?

We, generally speaking, are more likely to be unable to afford to feed ourselves wholesome foods, and we are less likely to be able to afford medical insurance--two things that are obviously important to maintaing good health and a "healthy" weight.

By the same token... 

Stereotype #3: We're All Uneducated 

The South and Appalachia are some of the lowest ranked in terms of educational funding and spending per pupil in the entire country. We don't even break the top 30 on the list, y'all.

49. Tennessee at $8,324 per pupil 47. Mississippi at $8,919 per pupil 45. Alabama at $9,636 per pupil 42. Kentucky at $10,010 per pupil 36. North Carolina at $10,613 per pupil 35. South Carolina at  $10,719 per pupil 33. Georgia at $10,893 per pupil 32. West Virginia at $10,984 per pupil

The top three best-funded states, by comparison, receive between $18k and $20k per pupil.

In terms of higher education, student loans are a death sentence for everyone but especially impoverished kids just looking for a way out. It just isn't feasible for most of us. And that's if we even tested well after going to shitty schools our whole lives. If we had better education, we'd have better literacy in all things, including critical thinking, allowing us to better see through the bullshit we are taught. But we don't. And you aren't helping the ones who are trying in spite of that.

Stereotype 4: Bad Teeth

Quickly going to touch on this one--when we consider a lack of access to affordable, healthy food, shitty medical insurance in general and our poverty rate, this one is kind of obvious. Even so:

“Dental coverage was significantly lower than the national average in the South Atlantic (45.6%), East South Central (45.6%), West South Central (45.9%), and Pacific (48.0%) regions.”

Every time you make a toothless hillbilly joke, ask if poverty is really the butt of the joke you want to be making.

These are just the most pervasive of them, imo. And they can all be underlined by extreme poverty which is absolutely by design.

It also contributes to why it isn’t so easy to “just leave” as we are so often dismissively told to do. Moving is expensive.

And why should we have to, anyway? Why should we have to flee our homes?

Why, for those who feel safe enough and/or have no other choice, should we not stay and fight to better the region?

And why can’t you other leftists get behind us and help us in our fight instead of perpetuating harmful stereotypes? We're your people, too.

Just some food for thought. And I hope some of y’all take a big ol bite.

[rukkiya]

take it back

(al haitham x reader, zhongli x reader (separate). they take off their wedding bands during an argument)

al haitham ｡･ﾟﾟ･

“Drop it, this doesn’t concern you.” He states flatly, not even glancing your way.

“Doesn’t concern me?! What’re you saying? All I’m asking is if you’ve gotten any rest! Since you’ve become Grand Sage I haven’t even seen you home for who knows how long!” You follow behind him as he walks away.

“Stop it.” He exhales, his lack of sleep and the stress was piling up, even for someone as tame and collected as Al Haitham this was getting to be a bit much for him.

“If you need a break take one! Not for anyone else but yourself Haitham come on! Please look at yourself, you're going to wear yourself out in no time!” You plead, voice slightly rising at his dismissive attitude. His legs come to a halt making you stop a few feet behind.

“Get off my case already, you’re being a bother.” His hands move faster than his brain registers, his fingers ghosting over his ring finger without another thought.

“I’m not the one that needs to look in the mirror, have you taken a good look at yourself?” He spits out turning hot on his heels, eyes narrowing at you.

You only gulp, feeling whiplash by his words and sudden outburst. You hadn’t expected him to act like this. You know how drained he really is and try to shove what he just said to the side but the look in his eyes made you think otherwise.

“This job was appointed to me specifically so it’s my duty to uphold it to the best of my ability. My job is of more importance than you’ll ever be anyways. With your lack of knowledge of course I don’t expect you to understand. I suggest you leave if you truly can’t handle it.” The ring he took off slipped from his fingertips as he threw it your direction making time freeze for you both as he did so.

He truly has no logical explanation as to why he did such a thing, can’t wrap his own mind around what he’s said or done until he sees your expression drop from angry to sad in seconds.

His ring finger now felt oddly cold without the silver band hugging it. The sound of the ring hitting the floor was way too loud in the now dead quiet house.

Your voice was no longer ringing in his ears, the only thing he heard now was his heart rapidly beating in his chest, what has he done?

You stand there letting it sink in. You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt again but taking his ring off and throwing it at your face was something else entirely. Your angry expression was nowhere seen as you felt your heart drop along with the ring he carelessly tossed your way.

You couldn't bring yourself to move from where you stood, nor did he. Seeing how this was his reaction to you getting on his case about taking better care of himself it shows how truly annoyed he’s grown of you. How much of a bother you’ve become. Exactly what you were afraid of what would happen.

“Y/n I-“

The things he just said ring loud in your ears as you hesitantly step forward not hearing him call you just now.

You bring your hand to your ring finger, slipping off the matching one you wore. Now both rings were in your hand making Al Haitham’s eyes widen.

What has he done?

He moves forward. Long legs striding up to you in seconds. He couldn’t stand it. The sight of your ring finger bare or his own, he needed to say something! Anything!

“No, don't do that. Please.” He pleads, warm hands reaching for your smaller ones only to see yours retract from his making his breath hitch. What has he done?

The two delicate rings now in your palm, both of your hearts and vows in the palm of your hands. Seeing him take it off without a second thought made you rethink what he told you the day you got married. Was your caring really enough to drive him mad, to want to push you away this much?

Al Haitham was never one to act out on emotion, always calm and collected, cool headed, but seeing him react in such a way made you realize just how much of you he truly couldn’t take anymore. He wouldn’t have reacted that way if you weren’t so goddamn overbearing.

You hesitate but extend your arm out, hand hovering over his.

His own reach out in an instant but he regrets doing so the second you place both rings on his palm now. The weight of his actions dawned on him and the logical solutions he’s always so good at coming up with were nowhere useful at the moment.

His usually unamused face was now painted with worry as fear struck him in his gut.

“I understand, I’m sorry. It was out of line of me to say that.” You clear your throat. It’s all you can say, but what else were you supposed to say? You were embarrassed, ashamed. You annoyed him so much to the point he didn’t think twice about taking off his wedding band. Only having it thrown at your face was more than enough to signal that he's grown far from annoyed with your presence.

“Wait, no don't do this. Y/N it’s not-“

“You’re right, your job is of much more importance. I’ll take my leave.” You move away from him as he reaches out again. You wanted to get out of there, not wanting to stand in the same room as him for another second, it was too much right now. You both clearly needed to clear your minds. Though even after you both do, how will things be afterwards?

zhongli ･ﾟﾟ･｡

The once fearless god now residing in Liyue harbor, taking it a day at a time. He’s learned to take things a day at a time and enjoy what he has while he has it. In the past he was shown just how quickly things can be taken away if taken for granted.

He was skeptical of letting anyone get too close as he's seen far too many of his loved ones pass on before his eyes, knowing just how fragile and weak mortals truly are. You however were selfless, always putting others safety before our own and he couldn't stand it. Though he had already fallen for you long before and you both vowed to love each other till death do you part he promised himself that he'd take care of your reckless self for as long as he can to keep you with him for as long as celestia would allow.

Tough, when your expedition team came back with you on a stretcher the sad reality was thrown in his face again, but he bit his tongue knowing just how stubborn you can be about protecting others.

Your injuries were not major but enough to leave you bedridden for a few days. Deep cuts and bruising littler your skin from you carelessly throwing yourself in front of falling debris to protect one of your expedition buddies. Zhongli can't help but let his mind wander to darker places every time you get hurt. He can't help but think of the worst, always fearing he'd lose you for good everytime you leave.

“Come on, it really isn't so bad! I'm serious, I’m all better, see!” You give him your best smile, outstretching your arms to show him your now smaller bruises.

He looks away from your arms, jaw clenching as he remembers how badly it was when you first arrived. Your legs looked even worse yet you weren’t even complaining about the pain he knew you definitely felt.

“The doctor said you’re not to leave until another two weeks. You should still be bedridden so please stop talking about such things and get some proper rest.” His fingers pinch the bridge of his nose as he tells you this for the hundredth time. He understands your love for being out and helping others but he can’t understand why you’d want to risk getting more hurt than you already are.

“Enough resting for me, I've been here for too long already. I can be doing something right now instead of wasting my time sitting here doing nothing!” You try to reason. You were going mad as more days passed by. You felt good enough to go out again, sitting in bed all day wasn't going to ease your racing mind anyways. Going out always helps take your mind off yourself and focus on more important matters.Giving others a helping hand instead of letting your mind think too much. Having Zhongli stay home a few days helped but you felt like a bother for having him take care of you for so long already.

His pointer finger and thumb fidget with the wedding band on his ring finger to distract himself from losing his composure in front of you. It was the only thing he could do other than bite his tongue and going off on you, telling you your selfish and foolish to even bring it up ‘getting back out there’ this early but you weren’t letting up, you kept bringing it up over and over and flashes of your beaten body were flashing though his mind until he spiraled thinking the worst.

“Listen, from now on I'll be more careful.” you sigh, feeling bad seeing his eyebrows crease knowing it's stressing him out.

“But you have to understand, if I get hurt I'll be ok. I just can't let others get hurt in front of me. If I can prevent that then at any cost I will.” You explain, seeing his shoulders tense up.

A loud scraping sound cut you off as the chair he was sitting on was pushed back in an instant.

“How careless could you be? Can't you see that I was worried sick yet you say such things? Have you any idea how much this affects me too!? I can't stand seeing you beaten and bruised yet you are all the time!” his voice gets higher as he talks, you didn't dare speak, having never heard his voice go any higher than how he normally speaks.

“I'm not doing it on purpose. Love, I don't mean to cause you distress its just-”

The band on his finger snapped, two halves falling onto the floor as you tried to tell him once again how it wasn't a big deal. But he couldn't take it. “I've heard enough of your excuses, if you truly feel as if your life means nothing then i'll see it the same way from now on too.” He sighs and you feel your throat go dry.

“I'm not making excuses, I don't see it like that. Zhongli, I don't want you to leave me- its- it's just that I-” you stutter as he kneels down to the broken pieces on the floor. You've done it now, your carelessness always gets you into trouble one way or another. You didn't mean it like that, to say you didn't care about his feelings of concerns but you just didn't phrase it right.

Of course you care, you think of him everytime you leave and pray you'll be back to see him another day. Having him leave you scared you like no other, you didn't want to be alone. So hearing him say that right now set a familiar feeling in your chest, you were going to be left all alone once again.

“Zhongli, listen please. I want you to stay! I want to stay with you and have us grow old together. I don't want to get injured badly and put stress or worry on you nor do I wish for an early death upon myself. I just want to help others, and be with you! I know I'm reckless but you've known that since we've met. I'm sorry, I know I'm a headache to be around but I can't stand seeing others hurt. If I can prevent that I will. But I need you here, I need you by my side. I can't stand being alone.” You explain, throwing your heavy legs over the side of your bed as he placed the broken ring by your bedside table.

“Yes, I've known that since before I married you Y/n but you're right, I guess you've become too much even for me to handle now.” He places the ring beside you and you stand up on wobbly legs.

Almost falling over he gives you a hand and steadies you. Seeing you already on the brink of tears hurt him physically but he needed a breather, to clear his mind.

“Please no, dont leave me alone” You whisper, hands slightly tightening around his forearm to keep him from moving.

He has to hold himself back from wrapping his arms around you, saying he'd stay but he can't continue to watch you hurt yourself. Insead he offers you his comforting smile and nods his head. “In due time i'll be back, but until then you need to realize just how important your life is before anything else my love.” He whispers, placing a featherlite kiss on top of your head before turning around. You grip him a bit more but he slowly pulls back. You don't fight it though. If he truly couldn't stand this anymore you didn't blame him, so you let him go without uttering another word.

He doesn't let himself turn around because he knows he won't leave if he sees your crying. You don't stop him either, not wanting to hold him back and cause him more distress than you already have. He hears you crying by the time he closes the door behind him and he promises himself he'd come back. You may not want him by the time, you may resent him for doing this but he'd still love you and care no matter what because as much worry and pain you gave him from your selflessness he wouldnt replace you for anyone else nor take back the time hes spent with you.

______________

authors note: hello hehehe :3 MY LOVES THANK YOU ALL SM FOR 1,000-PLEASE!!!! (｡´ ‿｀♡) I had planned to post another oneshot but I ended up writing this one while writing the other one lol ( that one will be up soon!) but it’s my first time writing for zhongli! ive had this idea sitting in my mind for months GOSH FINALLY I WRITE IT!!but had a hard time deciding who to write it for lol so I chose these two handsome men! this is my second multi post again ( idk if I should even call it that it’s only two lol) it’s not edited so apologies for any errors but besides that, I do hope you all enjoy, remember to drink water and take care ok! ^~^<333

[hannieween]

bad idea | backstage series | l.sm

It was all an act. A mantra you repeated to yourself since the moment you first kissed. You'd made a pact with Seokmin to remain friends. Yet even when his touch seemed like wildfire, you clung to the fragile threads of that promise, as you felt yourself melting at the touch of his lips.

♡︎ pairings: lee seokmin x afab!reader ♡︎ genre: angst, smut mdni you'll get blocked ♡︎ aus: theatre performer seokmin,fake dating with benefits ♡︎ word count: 10.8k

↣ part 1 – part 2 – navi post

₊🎧: i.m - more ♡︎ | kiss of fire - woodz

₊ nsfw tags under the cut

♡︎ warnings: multiple mentions of food and alcohol, swearing, smut with plot, pet names: baby, noodle (hers), soft dom seokmin, big dick seokmin, multiple unprotected sex scenes, unprotected sex in public spaces (1), doggystyle, creampie, oral sex (f, m), soft-edging, a bit of praise kink (f) drama | i wrote this at 3am so sorry if there's any mistakes weird time jumps in narration again sorry

part 3

The pain in your chest was almost unbearable.

You found support with your hands on your knees, breathing hard under the scorching bright midday sunlight.

"I'm calling it," Seungkwan announced, he was pretending to look for your pulse with two fingers under your jaw. "She's dead. Or will be. Soon. I give her twenty two seconds."

"Shut up, Kwan," you laughed brushing his hand away. "I'm just out of practice, okay?"

"Well, no shit, dummy," he laughed. "You've been spending too much time with your boyfriend now, you barely have time for volley."

His white sneakers came into your view, so bright under the sunlight that almost blinded you. Seungkwan patted you in the back twice, and walked off.

"Yeah, that and the fact that we've been going for hours," you stood upright. "Can we go? I really need to eat something otherwise I'll truly die."

He scoffed and brushed sweat from his brow with a towel. "Fine. But you're buying."

"What? Why me?" you whined, still breathless. "It's your turn!"

He turned to the bleachers to grab his stuff, and you followed. "Consider it as pay up for standing me up last tuesday."

"I've told you already that I'm sorry for that!" you whine again when you grab your duffel bag and follow him away from the volleyball court.

"Buy me coffee and I'll think about it."

Seungkwan wasn't angry at you. You knew that. He just liked playing with your head because he knew you still felt guilty for standing him up.

So you bought him iced coffee and a bowl of yogurt parfait.

"Now, you're trying to get under my good graces again," he said feigning dignity, lifting his chin up and eyeing you up and down.

"Well, I truly am sorry for standing you up," you said as you dug into your bowl. "I know I should've texted. I was... busy."

Your best friend saw your cheeks flush. "Oh, keep the details to yourself, please," he said, threatening to throw his plastic spoon at you. "I don't wanna know what you two were doing."

Last tuesday you woke up to find your friend, Seokmin, lying in bed next to you.

He was lying face down, his muscly arms around his head and hugging the pillow his face was half buried in, your lavender bed sheets covered him up to his lower back, leaving his bare back to your view.

On his back were pink scratch marks that you had made on him the night before. Then you understood the fixation he had for the hickeys he gave you on your neck.

You resisted the urge to touch him. To use your fingertips to connect lines between his moles and freckles of his face. Even asleep, he looked beautiful.

Silently, you grabbed the first piece of clothing from the floor and left your bedroom in search for your phone. The scent of Seokmin's plaid shirt coated you when you put in on closing a few buttons.

As you made your way out the bedroom, you noticed your muscles blissfully sore and tired from the day before. So in your search, you took the opportunity to drink water and take something for the pain.

Your jeans were tossed on one side of your couch, and right there you found your phone just a few minutes before your first alarm went off at 7 am.

An hour later, you had prepared breakfast and coffee when Seokmin emerged from your room, wearing his jeans and putting his white tank top on. His face and hair were slightly wet, which you assumed he had washed himself before joining you in the kitchen.

"Morning," you chirped.

You saw him glance your body up and down, noticing you were wearing his grey plaid shirt.

"G'morning," he pressed his lips in a smile.

"Are you hungry?" you asked with a shaky voice because for some reason you felt nervous under his gaze.

"Famished," he muttered.

You pushed a plate full of scrambled eggs, toast and bacon onto the counter of your tiny kitchen, which had two stools that already came with the lease for your otherwise mostly empty apartment.

Seokmin eyed you, a sweet smile on his lips. "I feel spoiled," he quipped and sat on a stool. "How can I repay you?"

"It's just breakfast. Chill," you laughed and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Still," he said while munching on his toast. "The next one's on me."

"What, you'll cook for me?" you asked, incredulous.

"Of course not," he chuckled. "I'll take you somewhere you won't die from food poisoning."

When you saw his sweet smile, a sharp pain tugged in your stomach. He was so cute that it gave you the same feeling you felt whenever you saw a squishy so cute you wanted to squeeze it.

You realized that you too had a smile on your face while you ate breakfast with him.

When Seokmin helped you clean the kitchen, he sang while doing so. It was usual for him, whenever he had a new role he did that, he would just break into song loudly and perfectly. He was known for doing that and it turned into a bit when you were in uni. The menace walking in the halls before class, singing loudly at 8 in the morning.

But you liked it. You've always liked it even when he only sang the same lyrics over and over again every five minutes. Each time was better than the one before it.

Now as he had to rehearse the songs for his role, he sang them from start to finish while you finished doing the dishes. Like your personal little show.

His voice was warm, it was like sunshine warming your chest after a cold cloudy morning.

He was sitting on a stool, scrolling through his phone while still humming some tune. You had finished doing the dishes already and he noticed, lifting his head to see you.

You had been quiet for a while, and it wasn't just because you were listening to him.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked.

You approached where he was sitting and leaned on the kitchen counter next to him. You chewed the inside of your cheek, deciding where to begin.

"I uh... never thanked you for what you did when my ex was talking to me," you breathed. "I didn't know how to get out of that situation and you helped me. Thank you for that."

He blinked and put his phone down. "You don't have to thank me for that," his brow furrowed a bit. "Even if I wasn't your fake boyfriend, I would have done it."

"Well, I felt like saying thanks because it meant a lot to me," you mumbled, tugging at the sleeves of his shirt that fit you a bit too large.

"You never told me what he said to you," he reminded you.

You rolled your eyes at the memory. "He says he's happy that I moved on. And that he wants to put everything behind us," you chewed on the inside of your lip. "He never once said he was sorry, though."

"Does an apology from him mean anything to you?" Seokmin mused, "I mean, given all the shit he has said and done to you."

"It doesn't," you put in simply. "It doesn't mean anything to me anymore. But I'm still angry that I didn't have the guts to tell him that."

Seokmin's eyes darkened. "It's not worth it," he muttered. "I don't think he deserves your forgiveness."

That made you smile. "That's a bit extreme."

"I mean it. He's an asshole. He broke your heart," if he didn't look serious before, he did now.

Your lips quivered a little bit when you tried to hold your laugh in.

"Don't laugh," he muttered with pouting lips.

"You're cute when you're angry," you laughed.

"I'm not angry," he countered, still pouting his lips but then he broke into a smile.

"Bullshit, Lee Seokmin," you smiled, landing a soft slap on his shoulder.

"Shut up," he muttered and grabbed your hand with his as it landed on his skin.

Then he yanked your hand towards his body, pulling you between his legs as he was still sitting on the stool, now you were face to face, the counter digging at your back.

"You're such a tease, do you know that?" he muttered with a playful smile, before capturing your lips with his.

Hands gripped your hips and after squeezing once he decided that it wasn't enough so he dipped them under his plaid shirt, finding your bare skin with a groan.

"I like how you look with my stuff on," he growled before crushing his mouth on yours again, tongues lapping and sinking his teeth on your lips.

Then he stood up from the stool, pushing it back as his hands on your hips lifted you up and took you to the bedroom. You let out a yelp when your back hit your bed, but as soon as his lips found yours again you immediately wrapped your legs around him.

His left hand made his way to the base of your head, grabbing your hair to pull your head back. A moan left your lips as he dipped his head to kiss your sensitive neck, he had made hickeys there so he was now kissing them softly.

The other hand was placed on your hip, under his shirt. He traced circles on your skin softly, sending shivers down your body.

"Seokmin," you gasped when his tongue slid on the crook of your neck.

"Mmm?" he hummed in your ear. "Want me to stop?"

The question wasn't genuine. It sounded gentle on his voice, but you knew he was taunting you. You muttered some incoherencies under your breath, you didn't even know why you called his name but sure as hell you didn't want him to stop.

"Mm? I didn't catch that," he muttered.

"Do that again, please," you whimpered.

A sigh brushed your collarbones and you could tell he was smiling when he found the sensitive spot on your neck again and planted a wet kiss on it before lapping your already tingling skin with his tongue.

That drew a moan out your mouth. And suddenly you were too conscious of all the noise you've been making.

But Seokmin's fingers pulled the shirt you were wearing up to reveal the lower half of your body. He kissed you sweetly on your sternum, all the way down to the band of your panties.

You noticed that he ignored your chest area, but didn't think too much about it. Two of his fingers came down to your clothed pussy, feeling that the fabric of your underwear was already wet in your arousal.

You jolted at the touch, even if he wasn't really touching you. "Seokmin, please. Stop teasing me."

He deposited one chaste kiss on your mouth. "We're going to have to make this quick," he said quickly. "I don't have much time."

Then he broke away and stood from the bed, your legs falling on the mattress as you watched him take off his tank top and jeans. You followed suit and begun to undo the buttons of his plaid shirt.

He patted one of your hands with his. "Stop that," he muttered. Then he removed your panties and tossed them away.

You watched as he knelt down before your bed. He was just wearing his underwear, his cock so hard that it was pressing against the dark fabric. Seeing him kneeling after you on your bedroom floor did something to you, it made you salivate, widen your eyes, it made your core throb with anticipation.

And before you knew what was coming, he yanked you down on your bedsheets grabbing you by your legs. So now your ass was by the border of the mattress, and he was between your thighs.

"Put your legs on my shoulders," he muttered softly.

When you did so, he ran a finger down your core, and now you held in a breath. "You have the prettiest pussy. Have I told you that?"

You felt your cheeks flush, not knowing what to answer really.

But he was wasting no time. Rolling up the shirt to your belly button, he placed his hands on your lower belly, pressing down gently at the same time he dipped his head down on your core.

Soon you forgot about not being loud. You rolled your eyes and arched your back, moaning loudly.

Starting by lapping on your folds, Seokmin moved his head up and down to lick you fully. The tip of his tongue traced a circle around your clit, before sucking on it. And as if testing what made you scream louder, he also pressed his tongue flatly on your clit and moved his head.

You felt your legs tense up, and grabbed onto the sheets of the bed, trying to wriggle your hips against his face desperately but the hands on your belly pressed down with more strength restrained you completely.

He repeated the same process, licking, sucking and teasing your clit. To whatever he did, you wouldn't stop moaning his name, pleading for him to not stop.

Until you realized that he was edging you. Whenever you felt closer to your release, he'd notice it and change to either just licking your folds, or sucking your clit, or tracing circles around it.

"Seokmin," you breathed. "Let me cum, please."

He just hummed in response, as if he were pondering on it while he continued teasing your cunt. His tongue came up to your clit, and as he did, his eyes landed on your face.

A groan came out through your gritted teeth and you arched your back, closing your eyes tightly. The tension in your core was almost unbearable.

"Seokmin," your fingers tangled in his soft copper hair. "Please. Just let me-ugghh fuck. Fuckfuckfuck."

He continued sucking on your clit, without changing in pace or movement, he sucked while moving his head up and down ever so slightly over and over, sending you over the edge.

Your orgasm hit you, hard. You felt your body tremble as it took you in erratic waves. It left you breathless and you had closed your eyes so tightly that when you opened them again, you had to blink a few times to regain focus.

Small kisses landed on your mound, and then made their way back to your belly. You felt exhausted, but still pulled him into a sloppy wet kiss when he climbed back on the bed. He motioned you to move back to the centre of the bed and as you did, he planted wet kisses on your face.

A chuckle was muffled by your mouth when your fingers tugged clumsily at the band of his underwear. He took them off and climbed back, his body hovering closely on top of you.

"Should I take the shirt off?" you asked, feeling that it was weird that he hadn't taken off of you yet.

"Leave it on," he muttered at the same time he leaned down and placed one elbow next to your head.

"Why?" your brow furrowed.

Your head was within his hand's reach, so he dug his fingers in your hair and placed a kiss on your chin.

"I want to fuck you in it."

You didn't think about it further. You knew it might be a possessive thing. But just as you liked the scratch marks on his back and the hickeys you had on your neck, you liked the idea of him fucking you wearing his shirt.

"Is that okay?" he asked in a soft tone.

"Yeah," your brow furrowed. "I'm okay with everything you give me."

A satisfied smile appeared on his face. It shocked you a little that you even find it arousing to see him smile while having sex.

"You'll let me do anything to you?" he muttered, capturing your lips with his briefly.

"Anything," you nodded eagerly. You grabbed his cock with one hand and guided it to your core. Earning another soft chuckle from him. You thought he'd chastise you again about being impatient but he didn't say anything about it.

He didn't warn you this time, his cock was already aligned with your core so he just started sinking in. You pushed your knees back, lifting your feet from the mattress and thus angling your hips for him. He groaned and dropped his head on the crook of your neck.

Your hands held onto his naked shoulders as his hips dipped in a few shallow thrusts and you stopped biting your lip when he was fully inside you.

"God," you whimpered. "So fucking big."

He had a light smile on his lips when he found your lips to give you a few tentative kisses. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you breathed and pointed a finger at him. "Just don't edge me this time."

He started thrusting on you without any warning again. "Don't be a tease, then," he placed a chaste kiss on your lower lip. "Can you do that?"

His thrusts landed so deep inside you that you let out a cry. "Yes," you replied without much thinking.

"Yes, what?" he muttered while grazing his teeth across your chin.

"I won't be a tease," you said as you let out a strangled moan when his thrusts became more unrestrained, slamming on you.

"Good girl," he whispered before his lips slid in yours.

The room flooded with the sounds of skin slapping together along with your loud moans that slowly would turn into gasps.

Seokmin watched you intently. There was something in his eyes, you couldn't quite tell what it was. But you thought that he was tense and you concluded that he was probably trying to get this done quickly.

You moved your hands to cup his face. The sleeves of his shirt were so long that covered your arms up to your knuckles. You pulled him into a hot kiss of teeth clashing and groans from both you and him.

"God," you sighed when you pulled your head back to the bed, feeling your body sink into a wave of pleasure.

Seokmin dropped his head next to yours, his face burying in your hair lying in the crook of your neck. You could hear his strangled low moans in your ear.

"You feel so good, baby," he muttered with a tense voice.

You nibbled at the soft skin of his shoulder, caressing his back over the scratch marks you'd left the previous night. Seokmin was breathing harder on your neck, and you were tempted to tell him to just let go. But then he pulled out, his hips retracting from your fully.

A shiver ran down your spine at the loss of warmth and him inside you. But you didn't move, didn't touch him. With a groan, he visibly shuddered and waited for a few seconds.

Before you could say something, he lifted his head from the crook of your neck, and deposited open mouthed kisses on your lips. "Turn around, baby," he muttered in a strangled voice.

Seokmin sat back on his heels and when you did as he asked, he grabbed your hips with his hands, propping you up on your elbows and knees on the bed. You squealed at the roughness with which he grabbed you, but you didn't complain. You liked it.

Feeling his hands move from your hips to your lower back made you angle yourself in anticipation. Moving the fabric of his shirt up, he pressed a hand gently on your back before he eased himself in. You moaned loudly at the feeling of having him deeper in you and you heard him hiss.

His hands moved from your back and he placed them on the bed, soon you felt his back on yours as he pounded his hips against your backside hard enough you knew it would leave bruises. You heard his breath hitched next to your ear and then he groaned.

"Seokmin," you whined and shut your eyes tightly, trying to savour the feeling of him being inside you as much as you could.

Seokmin was panting behind you between the small kisses he left on the back of your neck. "Cum for me, baby," he whispered.

You slid a hand between your thighs, your fingers rubbing your clit to reach your release faster. Suddenly you let your face bury on the pillow, thus angling your hips towards him even more, which earned a groan from him. It only took a couple of thrusts from him to achieve what he asked.

The pillow muffled the loud sounds that were coming out of your mouth, and your hand grabbed at the corners of it while the other rubbed your clit sloppily.

The orgasm shook your body so hard, it had you squirming and grabbing at the sheets until you were reduced to strangled sounds and panting.

"Fuck," he groaned behind you and hearing his voice so taut in pleasure made your body respond with a shiver.

Then his hands were on your hips again, his thrusts became shallow and fast as he rolled the shirt up your back uncovering it completely and before you knew it, he pulled out. A soft groan resounded behind you when warm cum landed on your ass and lower back.

You felt your skin prickle at the sensation of his cum on your back. But you waited, trying not to move but your limbs were shaking, breathing loudly against your pillow.

"Don't move. I'm going to get something to clean you up," Seokmin said climbing off the bed.

Soon he was returning to clean your back. "Done," he muttered and patted you in the ass lightly, making you yelp in surprise.

Slowly, you let your body drop on the bed sheets, limbs shaking badly, panting loud enough to make you feel embarrassed. You rolled over and thought for a moment that Seokmin would lie next to you to catch his breath with you.

But he just leaned towards you to kiss your forehead, your cheek and then your lips. "You're always so good to me, baby," he muttered.

A warm feeling overwhelmed you. Your skin was bumpy from a mix of the frenzy and from Seokmin's warm compliment.

"I thought you were going to be quick," your voice was hoarse when you spoke again as he made his way out of your bedroom.

"Are you complaining?" he called back, and you could imagine he was smiling.

"No," you mumbled, but he was out of earshot.

You heard the shower running and you groaned.

"Come on. Let's get cleaned up," you heard him say and before you could move, he was taking you in his arms.

"Oh my god," you whined. "I can get there on my own."

You opened your eyes to see him smiling. "Let me take care of you," he mumbled as he set you down on the bathroom floor. "Arms up."

His shirt came off your body easily. And then you were standing under the stream of water.

"Was that okay? Was I too hard?" he asked as soon as he joined you in the shower.

"I'm fine. I like it," you hummed.

"Like what?" he cocked his head to the side.

"When you're a bit rough with me," you muttered, feeling a bit embarrassed.

He pressed his lips in a smile, showing his small dimple under the side of his mouth. "I know. I heard. Pretty sure your neighbours heard, too."

A hand landed on his chest, hitting him softly. "Shut up, Seokmin," you laughed.

"I like that you're loud," he shrugged.

"I know," you quipped. "I also noticed."

Grinning, he rolled his eyes and continued washing his body. He was lifting his arms up to wash his hair, and you saw him as the water ran down on his face with his eyes closed, his mouth parted a bit when he tilted his head back towards the stream of water.

The sunlight that came from the small window up in the bathroom clashed with the stream of water, thus painting a rainbow between Seokmin and you.

Your stomach twisted a bit.

When you returned to your bedroom, Seokmin was already half dressed. A travel toothbrush which he kept on his backpack he took for rehearsals, was hanging on his mouth.

He raised a hand at you and you threw his plaid shirt at him, which he caught gracefully and quickly put on. Then he went back to the bathroom to rinse his mouth.

"You should bring some of your clothes," you suggested when he came back to your bedroom.

Seokmin lifted his head to see you, then averted his gaze with a furrowed brow. "Uh..."

"If you want, I mean," you shrugged. "I don't mind. Plus, it could save you the effort for next time, y'know?"

"Sure, I'll keep it in mind," he replied, but there was something in his tone that wasn't really convincing. You decided not to push it.

He took his things from the nightstand and walked up to you.

"Sorry, I have to go. I'm already late."

You were about to reply to him that you were okay with his abrupt leave, but then he planted a kiss goodbye on your mouth. It was so quick that it made you stutter, and you almost assumed that Seokmin didn't initially mean to do that when you saw his alarmed eyes and quickly left your room.

It was fast, but it showed a lot of intimacy to you. Seokmin didn't normally kiss you outside sex. He only did it whenever you acted like a fake couple.

"Bye," you mumbled, but the door of your apartment was already slamming shut.

You sat on the edge of your bed, absentmindedly touching your lips with your fingers when your phone buzzed. In the back of your mind, you thought that you might have earned a noise complaint from your neighbours.

But looking at the screen, you groaned.

It was a text message from Seungkwan, you had stood him up.

A noise complaint would've been better.

"Are you there?" Seungkwan asked, pulling you out of your train of thought.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry. What were you saying?" you mumbled. Seungkwan had already finished eating his food. You were barely halfway through.

"I said," he was looking at something at his phone screen. "Are you going to be at Minghao's dinner party this saturday?"

"Yes, I think I can make it," you replied. "Maybe I can ask Jae to cover me."

He shook his head. "He's already covering me."

"Umm, I'll ask around, but I'll be there."

"Good. Now, can we go?" he set his phone down and looked at you. "We're going to be late for our shift. And you take forever to finish your food."

"Okay, okay, let's go. But we're even, right?"

Seungkwan rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but break into a smile.

The hickeys on your neck had all healed. You had been concealing them, either with makeup or by wearing turtlenecks and scarves. Given the demands of your profession, where you had to protect your vocal cords by keeping your chest covered, nobody really asked about the extra coverage.

But as you looked in the mirror, you didn't find any trace Seokmin's lips on your skin anymore. You decided to wear a black dress to Minghao's dinner party. According to the invitation details, he wanted everyone to wear something fancy.

So that's what you did. You thought the dress was on par with the intent of the night, and you imagined that it was something Minghao would approve.

It was semi long, it didn't show too much but it flattered your body in the best way possible. You paired it jewellery and red details on your makeup.

The style of the dress left her neckline and collar bones exposed, so you felt a little relieved that you didn't have to cover hickeys for tonight. It saved you some time.

It has been over a week since you last saw Seokmin. You two were busy anyway so you didn't think much of it. But you missed him. You found yourself anticipating the next time you saw each other.

In addition to the excitement, you were surprisingly in a good mood. You even noticed some positive changes in your daily routine; you started exercising more regularly and reconnecting with friends you had drifted away from during the toughest days after your breakup.

You even purchased a few pieces of furniture for your apartment to give it a cosier, more lived-in feel that truly reflected that you enjoyed living there alone. Because, truthfully, you did.

A buzz came from your bedroom, and you went to investigate that your phone had a few new messages from Seokmin.

[06:12 PM] seokminnie: noddle [06:12 PM] seokminnie: i'm picking you up at 7 [06:12 PM] seokminnie: for hao's party [06:12 PM] seokminnie: be ready :)

You couldn't help but smile at the nickname he used for you. Noodle. He was the only one who still called you that since university. Over time, you had developed a love-hate relationship with the nickname, but hearing it from him, you couldn't bring yourself to complain anymore.

[06:13 PM] you: okidoki :) [06:13 PM] seokminnie: okidoki? [06:13 PM] seokminnie: god you're such a dork [06:13 PM] you: shut up you like me either way :P

That was the end of your conversation so far.

You were already bubbling with anticipation to meet him once more. You were eager to show him the new additions you'd made to your apartment and to share the news that you were in the final auditions for another play.

While there wasn't any official confirmation about the role yet, you felt optimistic. You were putting your best effort into it, and for the first time, you felt that even if you didn't secure it, you would be okay. After all, you had your sights set on other projects too.

There was a knock on your door and since you were sitting in the kitchen, you ran to get it in two seconds.

Seokmin was standing there. Your eyes absorbed everything about him. His copper hair was parted slightly, his bangs brushing his eyebrows a little. He looked between laid back and still fitting for the night; black jeans, white shirt and a denim jacket.

"Hiii," you chanted.

He blinked, a grin appearing on his lips. "Hi there," he muttered.

Your stomach twisted a bit and before anything else was said you moved aside to let him in.

"Just let me get my bag and we can go," you grabbed your phone and your bag from the kitchen counter.

"Aren't you forgetting your shoes, noodle?" you hear him call.

"Oh, yes!" you laughed.

You had your shoes ready by the entrance of your apartment, and while putting them on, Seokmin held out a hand for you for you to remain on your feet.

"Thanks," you smiled at him.

"Ready?"

"Yeah," you breathed, somehow feeling agitated.

"Let's go," he smiled sweetly again and for a moment you fought the impulse of pulling him to your lips.

"Okidoki," you said promptly and followed him out your apartment and locked the door.

"Dork," he laughed.

You chuckled and when you both stepped into the elevator, you felt your mouth go dry. Suddenly you felt nervous to be in such an enclosed space with him.

But he was looking at his phone distractively.

The ride there was... odd. Not what you had expected entirely. He didn't say much and was too busy looking at his phone so you decided you didn't want to pry.

When you got there you saw some familiar faces outside the fancy restaurant. The guests were gathering outside the door, queueing to get their names and id's checked before entry.

Everyone looked elegant. When you saw some girls dressed in the same manner and style you were wearing you felt relieved, since you were doubting on being too much or not quite so.

You turned to Seokmin, who was just putting his phone on the pocket of his jeans and when he lifted his head to see you, he smiled softly. He caught up with you and as he did so, your hands touched for a moment.

You thought it was natural to just grab his hand, locking your fingers in his.

"Sorry. I was fixing an appointment for the costume fitting," he muttered, looking at the ground.

"For a moment there I thought you might be fake cheating on me," you smiled, but as soon as you blurted out the words, your heart dropped. Too far.

"You think I'd do something so horrible?" he asked dramatically, putting his free hand on his chest.

You smiled in relief. "Well, we haven't really talked about it. I don't know, you might want to start seeing someone for real," you shrugged.

His brow furrowed. "What if I don't?" he mused. "What if I enjoy being your fake boyfriend?"

"Then you're in luck because I enjoy you as my fake boyfriend too. It's fun," you smiled up at him.

You expected to see him smile, but instead he looked deep in thought.

As you joined the queue, the grip on your hand tightened gently. And you knew why. Your ex was in the queue, with a new girl wrapped in his arm. This girl you had never seen before, it wasn't the same girl he cheated on you with.

Your ex's eyes went through the crowd and your eyes met.

Seokmin was behind you, so he let go of your hand but his arms were encircling you from behind. A soft kiss landed on your temple and you shivered at the feeling of him so close to you.

"Are you okay?" he asked on your ear.

You turned your head to see him and your hands rested on top of his. "I'm okay," you reassured him with a smile.

The proximity had startled you for a second, but you enjoyed this. His warmth, the scent of his clothes and skin.

His sweet brown eyes searched your face. "You look beautiful," he mumbled.

Not knowing what to reply, you lifted a hand to cup his cheek and reached for his lips. The kiss was tender, so slow that you felt him sigh on your lips, a shiver went down your spine.

It was all an act. A mantra you repeated to yourself since the moment you first kissed. You'd made a pact with Seokmin to remain friends. Yet even when his touch seemed like wildfire, you clung to the fragile threads of that promise, as you felt yourself melting at the touch of his lips.

"Ugh, come on! Get a move on, you lovebirds," an annoyed voice protested behind you.

It was Soonyoung. When you turned around you saw him beaming at you, he lifted a hand in the air and waved frantically at you. You smiled and waved back in the same manner.

"Come on, we're next," Seokmin stopped hugging you and pulled your hand in his again.

The table you were taken to was located in a secluded room within the fancy restaurant. You knew that Minghao had sold a few paintings to this restaurant the moment you were shown inside.

The place was dimly lit in soft orange hues and the tables were adorned with a trailed of roses and candles. In the room there was a wall fountain in the room, the water running continuously made a soft background noise paired with the live jazz show.

You strolled to the side of the room where Minghao was greeting his guests with a shy smile on his face. When he saw you he pulled you into a hug.

"Birthday boy," you chanted into the hug.

"I'm glad you're here," he said at the same time he patted you in your head.

"I brought you something," you said and unfasten your tiny purse.

You heard him giggle shyly. "You shouldn't have," he muttered but at the same time he was bouncing on his heels in anticipation.

His giggles became more bubbly when you pulled a black box the size of the palm of your hand and handed it to him. His eyes beamed at you and back to the box.

"What's this?" his lithe careful fingers took it from your hand and he looked up to find your eyes. "Can I open it now?"

"Course," you shrugged with an excited smile. "It's your birthday."

"Hehe," he chuckled in a tiny voice and opened the box to find a super tiny tea set.

You watched Minghao's mouth part a little and slowly turn into a child-like smile. His fingertips brushed over the tiny blue and white cups and teapot.

"I love it," he giggled again, "thank you."

Then he tucked you into a hug again and you returned the hug.

"I loved it so much that it makes me want to forgive you for fucking in my dressing room," he mentioned with a laugh.

Your cheeks flushed and he was patting your head and shuffling your hair teasingly.

"Y-you know? How?" your voice was high now.

He look straight in your eyes with a devilish smile. "Nothing gets passed me."

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry," you groaned covering your face with your hands. But your friend was laughing cheekily.

Minghao had carefully assigned seats for everyone to get to know each other. You were assigned a seat next to Soonyoung; which didn't make sense to you until Jeonghan took the seat to your left. You didn't know each other well, besides from casual meetings for work.

Jeonghan was a sweet guy. He was mostly quiet but soft spoken at first, but he was eager to get to know you and he told you just that.

"Ah, it's so good to finally get to know you," he said when he had drank more and started to loosen up a bit. "You know how hard it is to get to talk to you?"

"What do you mean?" you laughed, feeling that Jeonghan was doing a bit.

"You're the stellar this season and I don't even know you," he chuckled as he spoke. "That bothers me. I want to meet everyone in the company."

"Why is that?" you frowned. It was weird that a director wanted to get to know everyone. Everyone you had worked with before Jeonghan could do with a first name basis with the cast and crew. Some not even that.

"I like to think of the company like a big family," he shrugged as he sat back. "I know that it might not be practical but who knows really. So far it's working for me."

"Do you act too or you're just in the management?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh, no. Not at all," he chuckled again. "I'm just interested in management and production. The acting part, props, staff, lighting and such is totally yours. I just revise projects, budget, plan and put the money."

"That sounds... like a lot of work," you looked up at him.

His short black hair covered half of his forehead. He looked a little bit tipsy, his heavy lidded eyes were turning lazier as you spoke, but he raised a soft smile.

"I enjoy it," he nodded with a grin. "And I get to make great friends, so best job ever."

Jeonghan excused himself and left the seat momentarily, thus leaving you without your new partner for the dinner.

You looked at the people sitting at the table. There were at least eighteen people sitting there. Most you knew and a few you didn't at all. Seokmin was sitting just across you, next to two actresses you knew.

He was talking to the girl to his right, while the other was laughing with Seungkwan. While Seokmin listened to the girl, he would casually nod and reply to her politely. Then you remembered that he tended to be shy on social reunions like these and that made you smile.

"Hey, why haven't you replied to my messages?" Soonyoung elbowed you.

You turned to look at him pout. "Sorry, Hoshi. Been busy," you patted his blond head.

"I hate it when you leave me on read," he continued to pout.

"I don't remember what you texted," you said, pursing your lips while you tried to remember.

"I asked you if you were in the final auditions yet," he groaned.

"Ah, yes that's right," you nodded. "And yes. You?"

He scratched his blond head. "Uhh, me too. But I'm not too confident," he shrugged.

Your brow furrowed. "Why?"

He eyed across the table before leaning towards you. "What if we both get the role? I'd have to kiss you," he hissed with a strained look on his face.

"Really?" you asked in disbelief. "That's why you don't want the role? I feel offended," you laughed.

He nodded his head shortly. "I don't wanna kiss my best friend's girl. Nuh-uh. That's fucked up."

Your smile faded a bit. "Right. That might be awkward."

Soonyoung tilted his head to the side, still speaking in a hush tone. "Can you imagine that? What will I say at your wedding feast?"

That made you almost choke on your drink.

"Whoa, hold on tiger," you tried to laugh. "There's no wedding."

"Not yet," his eyes widened a bit and he pushed his lower lip out.

As if planned, you both glanced across the table. Seokmin was resting his head on his hand, elbow on the table listening to the girl next to him with a polite smile.

"I think you've had too much to drink, my friend," you chuckled and patted his reddened cheek softly.

"I'm not drunk," he shook his head and then rolled his eyes. "Well, just a bit tipsy but I'm for real when I tell you that I've always rooted for you guys."

"What do you mean?" you asked carefully.

"You're my best friends," he shrugged again. "And I've always been aware of how Dk looks at you and I'm not dumb. I know how love looks like."

"Love." you stuttered.

When Soonyoung sent a weird look, then you knew you had to compose yourself and remain on your act.

"Well, you both were always in your own little world to notice," he explained and leaned back on his chair. "But I'm happy that you're together now."

Trying to keep your cool as best as you possibly could, you smiled at him. And it was enough for Soonyoung because he was already speaking to the other person next to him.

Bewildered, your eyes fell on Seokmin. As if he knew you were about to look his way, his eyes met yours. His smile was gentle and blinked slowly your way and you managed a small smile.

When the dinner was over, someone had already organized an after party. Minghao wasn't at all prepared for an after party but didn't complained.

As you walked out of the restaurant, the air of the cold night had grown cruller. You hissed at it and your hands covered your face.

"Here," Seokmin mumbled and slipped his warm denim jacket on your shoulders.

"Thanks," you beamed at him, sinking your arms inside the warm sleeves. His scent coming from his jacket flooded your senses.

"No problem," his hand took your chin briefly, a warm smile on his face.

You resumed walking at his side, following your friends towards the after party. Then a hand slipped between yours almost as if it were second nature. You intertwined your fingers with his, enjoying the warm sensation that flooded inside you.

"D'you want to go to the after party?" Seokmin asked. "Apparently everyone is going."

"Uh... sure. Why not," you shrugged. "Do you?"

"Is there something wrong?" he asked suddenly, reading your face.

"No," you blurted a bit too quickly. "Everything's fine. Why?"

He pointed a finger to your face. "Your mouth is doing that thing it does when something is bothering you."

You huffed. "And what is that?"

Seokmin pursed his lips and did an impression of you chewing the inside of your mouth. "You do it every time something's wrong."

"Really?"

"I've noticed," he put in simply. "We've known each other for years, it's hard to not pick up on some stuff."

"Huh."

"Are you guys coming?" Soonyoung asked while passing you and Seokmin on the sidewalk.

"We'll meet you there," Seokmin nodded with a nod of his head.

"Don't bail on me, you two. I need my drinking partner!" he scolded in a slurred tone, his drunken face so flushed it made him look cute.

You were the drinking partner in question. It was a thing you had while in uni. Whenever they dragged you to a party and you played any drinking game, somehow you ended up worse than them. So you earned the said designated title.

"We don't have to go if you don't want to," Seokmin suggested, still thinking that you were upset by something.

"I want to go," you reassured him. "I just don't think I can drink too much tonight."

"Then don't. I'll help you win, or not drink. Whatever comes to it," he pressed his lips in a smile.

Then he gently clasped your hand with his and started walking together to catch up to Soonyoung.

"Okiedokie," you mumbled, knowing it would make him smile.

"Such a dork," he sighed.

The after party was in a gallery art that was owned by one of Minghao's friends. It was down a street in between two restaurants that had already closed.

The gallery was spacious, pale grey concrete floors and walls that made it feel like a liminal space. The walls were covered by large murals and paintings and in the back there was a large space where someone was drawing some foldable chairs from a small closet.

Soon, more and more people started to show up, you even saw some faces that weren't at the dinner. Someone had brought sound equipment, and the art gallery turned into an artful improvised nightclub.

Seungkwan crossed the space, walking among the crowd towards you and pointed a finger to you. "There you are! I want to introduce you to a friend, come."

He promptly took the hand and the last thing you saw before breaking away from your fake boyfriend was his warm smile and him disappearing into the crowd with Jeonghan and Soonyoung.

You let your best friend drag you through the mass of unknown faces. He introduced you to a friend called Jun. The reason Seungkwan wanted you to meet his friend was because Jun was a tv actor and you kind of always been interested in acting for tv projects, so a conversation with the shy actor ensued.

Jun was one of the most beautiful individual's you've ever met. His red wine coloured hair made a shocking contrast with his sweet kind smile. He was sitting on top of a big wooden crate that quite possibly had paintings inside. But he seemed to not pay too much attention to it, he even invited you to sit beside him.

However, no matter how interested you were in the conversation, your eyes darted back were you last saw Seokmin, searching for him in the sea of faces.

You exchanged contacts with Jun, promising to keep in contact with him if you ever want to meet up and even meet his agent. It was an interesting opportunity, too promising to pass up.

The bellowing, drunken voice of Soonyoung made you look into the crowd, and beside your drunk friend you found Seokmin, his hands on his knees, laughing silly at something drunk Soonyoung was saying.

You couldn't help but smile at the sight of Seokmin laughing so hard he had to crouch down, hands on his knees, trying to compose himself.

"That's your boyfriend, isn't it?" Jun asked, since everyone was looking at his direction.

"Yeah," you muttered simply. It made an effect on your body whenever you called him your boyfriend. Even if it wasn't exactly that.

"Go to him," he pointed with his nose towards Seokmin. "I know you don't want to be here."

Your brows furrowed. "I'm sorry," you saw him smile as you left Seungkwan's friends. "I'll stay in touch, though."

Jun raised a hand, waving you goodbye as you made your way to where Seokmin was with Jeonghan and Soonyoung. They were playing some silly game in which they had to fake scream in pain, but Soonyoung was so drunk that couldn't make sense of his own words.

"Alright, big boy," Jeonghan said, pulling a chair in front of Soonyoung. "Enough alcohol for you."

Soonyoung was already red in the face, but if you could give him anything, he was an obedient drunk.

"Hey, that's my drinking partner," Soonyoung mumbled, pointing a weak finger at you as his head landed on the table.

"What did you do to him?" you asked.

"He lost the game three times in a row," Seokmin explained with a shrug.

"I'm taking him home," Jeonghan patted the drunken head resting on the table once and went outside to get his car.

"Thanks," you crouched to level your eyes with your friend. He smiled, making the cheek that was pressed to the table bulge.

"'m fine," he mumbled. And closed his eyes, within seconds he had already fallen asleep.

Seokmin was behind you when you stood up, a hand sneaking on your lower back. "Well if it's any consolation, you won't have to drink tonight."

"Yeah, lucky me," you smiled, turning to him so that your body was facing his.

"Who did Seungkwan want you to meet?" he asked.

"A tv actor. Told me to meet up with his agent to talk auditions," you told him.

"Oh?" he raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like an interesting opportunity. Who is he?"

You subtly gestured toward Jun, who remained perched like a model on a large wooden crate, even the lights on him appeared to be lighting him up like a piece of art in the gallery.

"We exchanged numbers to meet someday," you mentioned casually.

"You did?" he shifted his gaze from the charming actor to study your face.

Your eyes narrowed. "Yeah. What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just curious."

A smile played on your lips. "Are you…"

His brow furrowed slightly. "What?"

"Jealous?"

He let out a chuckle, attempting to mask his surprise. "Jealous? Why would I be?"

You tilted your head, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you've been showing a possessive streak lately?"

His expression softened, and the hand on your lower back pressed on you a little. "What if I did feel a little jealous?"

A warmth rushed through your body, you felt it pulse in your chest.

You leaned into his touch, savouring the warmth of his hand on your back. "Well, then I might have to make it up to you somehow," you teased, a playful glint in your eyes.

He smiled, a mixture of playfulness and curiosity. "Oh, yeah? And how will that be?"

"Why don't you find out?" you replied coyly, and you stood on your tiptoes, letting the hand on your back go a little lower on the small of your back.

Curious fingers gingerly and discreetly explored the small of your back and ass. Seokmin understood immediately, his alarmed eyes stopping on yours. "You're not wearing underwear." he muttered.

A nervous laugh bubbled up in your chest as you nodded with your head.

His free hand took you by your jaw, pulling you into a rushed kiss. "You'll be the death of me," he groaned.

He dragged you through the dense crowd and led you out the dimly lit art gallery. You walked through a small door and found yourself in a deserted, dark alley. A tall ceramic pot with a dried plant was the only feature in the secluded area.

Seokmin was already pinning you against a wall, leaning his head down to find your lips. You had already decided to ignore all your rational thinking and melted into his lips.

"We're gonna have to be quick," he muttered, his lips brushing yours before sinking down on them again.

"I don't trust your definition of quick," you whispered, your hands slipping behind his neck to drag him into another wet kiss.

"For real this time," he smirked.

"I've never been fucked against a wall," you blurted out when your hand reached for the belt in his pants.

"Just hold onto me. I'll do the work," he mumbled and his breath hitched when he felt your fingers on his skin when you buried your hand beneath his underwear, grabbing his already hardened cock. "Your hands are cold."

"Sorry," you whispered, your hand feeling the soft skin of his length, the tip of his cock was already wet in precum when you rubbed your thumb across it, smearing the wetness around his cockhead.

"Lean against the wall. I'm going to lift you up," he muttered and you did what he said.

Seokmin reached down at your legs under the skirt of your dress and he swiftly lifted your body up, grabbing your ass in his hands. You pulled your skirt to your hips, giving him space to properly slot himself between your thighs.

Your hand snuck between his body and yours, finding his cock again with your fingers and led it to your core. Watching his face intently, you played a little with his cockhead, dragging it across your wet folds. A groan reverberated through his gritted teeth.

"You're soaking wet, baby," he said, dropping his forehead on yours when he felt you. "Does making me jealous turn you on?"

"You turn me on," you mumbled. "I missed you, Seokmin. It's been days since we last fucked."

The squelching sound coming from you playing with his cock against your entrance only made you more aroused. You bit your lip down before aligning his cockhead to your entrance, and looked at Seokmin's eyes.

"Are you sure you can take me like this?" he whispered.

You nodded, feeling so eager that you couldn't breathe. "I'm sure."

But soon you understand what the really meant. He started to ease himself inside you with shallow thrusts, stretching your tight core open so slowly, but so deliciously your eyes screw shut, making you see stars.

Normally when you had sex with him, he would play with your core with his fingers before fucking you. But now he went in without stretching you beforehand, and it had been days since you last had him inside you.

Your breath hitched at the sharp pain, grabbing him by the shoulders of his shirt and your fingers twisted to resist the pain as he was still sinking his length inside you. It was a bit painful, but you found out that your body liked it. The mere thought of him stretching your core, having him raw aroused you even more.

"You told me you could take me," he muttered in a hushed tone. "D'you want to stop?"

"No," you mumbled quickly and reached for his lips. "Keep going, please."

Your hands were clinging at his shoulders, fingers twitching at the exquisite feeling of having him inside you. His hips came to a stop, and you could feel that he had sheathed himself completely inside you.

This could drive you crazy. Him being so closely connected to your body that you could feel the warmth of him, you could feel his cock throbbing inside you as he moved in a slow pace, still adjusting to your body.

"Are you okay, baby?" he mumbled.

You muffled a whimper biting down your lip at the sound of his voice calling you that.

"I'm okay," you replied, feeling out of breath but in plain ecstasy.

His hips started moving, not caring about being slow or patient and you silently thanked him for it. He was thrusting in you so fast that there was barely any chance to capture his lips in yours so you resorted to see his face as he fucked you into the wall.

Your hands moved daintily from the shoulders of his shirt to his neck. It was already covered in a light layer of sweat, but his hips didn't faltered, thrusting inside you so deep that you felt like you were impaling yourself in his cock.

You stiffened a moan when he found a rhythm that hit your core so deliciously you felt like you had to cum soon.

"Quiet, baby," he whispered when he heard you. He leaned down and pressed a quick tender kiss on your lips, still rutting his hips against yours.

Seokmin's eyes were focused on your face, you could tell he was attentive to the faces you made whenever he'd hit the golden spot inside you. Then, one of your hands slid between your bodies, your eyebrows furrowed with tension as you managed to rub your clit, feeling so close to the release your body was building up, he smiled.

"Aw baby, are you going to cum?" he whispered.

The hand that was still clinging to him clenched at the hem of his shirt and felt your body tense up and you could savour your release. You nodded, "'m so close, babe," you whimpered.

Seokmin groaned as your walls clamped erratically around his cock, a warm wet sensation slipped where your bodies connected. You knew you were creaming on his cock and the thought of it sent you over the edge.

You came, hard enough to shake on his arms and whimper quietly his name. It took everything you had to not scream, tears brimming up in the corners of your eyes as your body went limp under the waves of bliss consuming you.

"Fuck, baby," he muttered on your lips, and you knew he was close too.

As his hips were faltering, you wrapped your legs around his hips. "No, don't pull out," you muttered wildly. A groan was muffled by your mouth as he came inside you, pumping warm ropes of cum deep inside you.

His hips came to a stop, his cock still buried deep inside your core. Now that he had stilled, you reached to kiss his lips fervently, still feeling under the craze of your orgasm.

Seokmin pulled his head back, breaking the kiss with a gasp from you.

"Babe?" he repeated, his brow deeply furrowed.

Your heart stilled.

"You don't like it?" you asked innocently. "I won't use it again."

He didn't really give an answer. He just blinked slowly, his gaze drawing away from your face and into the night sky. "You didn't let me pull out."

"I missed you," you replied with a small voice.

He lowered his eyes to find yours. "You missed me that much?" he muttered, his lips rose in a downturned smile. "Did you miss my cock so much that you needed me to fuck you in a dark alley?"

"I did," you breathed, feeling your blood rush to your cheeks. "It's all I could think of; you inside me, cumming in me."

He was breathing softly against your lips, his forehead sweaty as he gently rested it against yours. "Don't," he whispered. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

He shook his head slightly, his forehead still on yours. "Saying you missed me. Making me feel jealous. Calling me babe. Fucks with my head."

"Sorry," you heard yourself say. "I..."

You wanted to tell him that you did miss him. Not just the sex. But you couldn't quite bring yourself to say it.

You waited for a long second, his breathing was not slowing down and his forearms were starting to shake a little. He put you back on the floor, not quite letting you go until you could stand on your own.

You leaned against the wall as you watched him fix his pants quietly, his belt hanging lose as he looked at you.

"Do you have your panties?" he asked.

You nodded. "Yeah," your fingers dug at your tiny purse and you pulled a clean black thong.

He took it from your hand and knelt down before you, patting on your ankle for you to lift it up the ground and then the next. Then he slid your underwear up your legs, fixing the edges so they wouldn't bump on your dress.

"Thanks," you whispered.

"I'm going to take you home now, okay?" he muttered, he was serious now. Something you rarely saw on him.

"Kay," you whispered.

Taking your hand in his, he led you through the alley and to the street. Soon you realized that you were ten minutes away from your apartment building and Seokmin was leading you back.

He was too quiet, dangerously quiet you'd say. And you didn't know how to make him talk about what kept him this quiet. So you stayed silent too because you didn't know what to say.

"Are you... are you staying tonight?" you asked when you got to your apartment door and opened it for him.

He leaned his head against your doorframe, looking at you as if he didn't know what to do with you.

"I just wanted to get you home," he mumbled. "I'll be going now."

Your brow furrowed, feeling a morose pain sweep in your chest. A pain you knew too well.

"What's wrong?" you asked, in a small voice.

"We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" he said softly, a sad, tired look on his face.

You felt your knees wobble a bit. "We can talk now," you suggested, already feeling what would come next.

Seokmin sighed and stepped inside your apartment, closing the door behind him.

You slowly removed his jacket and handed it to him. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not," he replied with a reassuring tone. He took his jacket and put it on and you noticed the expression on his face was conflicted.

You bit the inside of your cheek, your heart beating so hard against your chest you thought it might tell on you. Seokmin approached in your living room, and now you could see him under the light of the lamps.

"I don't think I can keep up with this," he admitted.

Your heart felt heavy, as if it were being squeezed in a tight fist.

"Why? What changed?" you murmured.

"I broke our promise," he sighed heavily.

A burning sense of fear crippled you. Everything was happening too fast for you to cope or understand. But you knew that you had to face it.

"The more we fuck around the more I realise that it's not just the sex what I want anymore," Seokmin continued. "I know I promised this wouldn't happen, but it did. And I'm not sure how much longer I can take this fake dating, because I want more... I want to be with you."

A heavy silence hung in the air, and you struggled to find the right words to respond. After a moment, you managed to say, "I didn't think this would happen so soon."

He nodded, his eyes darkened with a mix of regret and longing. "I understand if you need space. I just had to be honest with you."

You inhaled deeply, attempting to calm your aching heart. "I'm not ready. Not yet."

You could see the internal struggle in his eyes, the turmoil of emotions he'd been dealing with. And he could probably see the same in your eyes.

"I know," he finally said, his voice tense with defeat.

Of course he knew. He was your best friend. He was there when you were broken after finding out your ex had cheated on you. He understood everything you had gone through to move on. He would know if you're ready to love again.

"But we can work it out," you murmured, your eyes suddenly filling with tears. "I want us to."

His gaze softened, and he reached out to wipe away a tear that had escaped down your cheek. "I don't want to rush you. I'll be patient."

Your voice trembled as you replied, "I just need time."

He pulled you into a tight hug, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "I'll give you all the time you need," he promised, his voice reassuring. "I'm not going anywhere."

As you both stood there, wrapped in the weight of the moment, the air felt heavy with unspoken words and a understanding. You hugged him close to your body, shaking with sobs, allowing yourself to bury your face in the warmth of his chest.

"I need to go now," he muttered with a heavy tone.

Your arms tensed around him. You heard him release a sigh, and knew he was smiling.

"Have a bath and go to bed," he instructed. "You'll feel better."

You didn't want him to leave. But when you finally forced yourself to let him go, he kissed your forehead sweetly before patting your head as he always did.

"I'll stay close, noodle. Don't worry," he muttered with a soft smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Then he turned away and left quietly.

♡︎ a/n: i love dk sm! u-u i got a bit carried away with the angst i just love it hehe. if you liked reading this feel free to show it some love leaving a like, reblogging, commenting. k, bye! ( · ❛ ֊ ❛)

click here for part 4!!