#even if it’s good they do have benefits since otherwise it’s like “why do these side things”

[no1ryomafan]

Me: Persona is like one of my more normal interests

Also me: *proceeds to do a replay of P3P on NG+ as the femc even though this is gonna take well over 50+ hours like last time even if I skip some dialogue*

[nightbeforethend]

bf!xdinary heroes headcanons

a/n: this is so self-indulgent it’s ridiculous, like I’m pumping out so many things right now just to get l a serotonin boost of my own at this point 🥲

gunil: your personal walking wallet

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hasn’t let you pay for a single thing since he first asked you out

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Which wouldn’t be very concerning if your first date wasn’t three years ago

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ As long as he’s around you’re getting the bag you’ve been eyeing for weeks, and quite frankly anything and everything else you could possibly want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Even when he’s not around, he has ways of still paying for everything

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Writes the days you get your nails done in his calendar so he knows when you’re gonna get them done again and can send you the money in time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Whenever you asked him why he won’t let you pay for anything, his response was always “because it makes you smile after you’re done complaining”, so who were you to stop him from being the walking wallet he apparently wanted to be?

jungsu: gives you flowers every time you see him

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Literally doesn’t show up to a date, a sleepover, literally any type of meetup with you without some kind of flowers

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You told him ONCE when you first started dating that you love flowers and when he asked what your favorite flower to receive was, you admitted that you’d never been given flowers by a partner

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Ever since then he started going out of his way to find some sort of flower to bring with him when he was blessed (his words, not yours) by your presence

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He keeps track of your forever changing favorite flower and flower color (this week it was pale pink chrysanthemums) and when you start to complain that he’s spending way too much money on getting you flowers, he simply starts bringing you one singular flower until you stop complaining since you hate to see the one singular flower in the vase alone

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sends you a bouquet once a week when he’s away on tour because he refuses to let you be flowerless as long as he lives

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Since you love to collect postcards, he sends you one from each city with little origami flowers he learned to make inside the envelope just to make you smile

jiseok/gaon: built-in photographer

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You never even had to ask him to take pictures of you, better yet good ones

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ After your first couple of dates he sent you a few candid pictures he’d taken of you, swearing he just wanted to provide you with good Instagram pictures when you accused him of already being down bad for you but his red cheeks and ears say otherwise

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Once you start doing your little outfits of the day for him, he decided to make it his mission to take so many pictures that he’d put paparazzi around the world to shame

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ The man is literally dropping into the spider-man pose to get good shots and complaining about how he thinks he pulled something the next day like it wasn’t the consequences of his own actions

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Half the nights he sleeps alone are spent looking through the pictures he’s taken of you and smiling like the lovesick fool he is

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Will deny that he does all of this for his own benefit but remind him that he’s taking all of these pictures on his phone that he took without you having to ask and suddenly he’s ready to change the subject

seungmin/o.de: dresses you every chance he gets

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You were having one (1) singular bad week around half a year into your relationship; bad enough that you could barely get yourself out of bed better yet pick out clothes and get yourself out of the house

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ You’d both seen each other in your underwear by then so when you cancelled on him for the second time because you “didn’t feel like going out”, he still showed up with takeout and, upon realizing that you were in more of a slump than he thought, he immediately made you sit on the edge of your bed half naked as he entered your closet and picked out multiple comfortable outfits for you to wear

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He helped you put on everything after you decided which outfit you wanted to wear and after seeing how that one action lifted your spirit, he makes a habit of helping you get dressed whether you’re in a good mood or not

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Doesn’t see it as a huge deal; he just likes to spend that extra bit of time with you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He’d never admit it but he really loves it when someone compliments your outfit and your face lights up as you tell them he picked it out for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Do the same thing for him and he’d literally lose his mind but that’s neither here nor there

hyeongjun/junhan: cooks for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He cooked for you once a couple months into you dating when you couldn’t agree on what to get for takeout and all it took was you calling him a good cook one time for him to start cooking for you every chance he gets

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Gives you the typical “it’s no big deal babe” reply when you tell him the food is amazing but on the inside he’s doing Simone Biles style flips

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Pretends he doesn’t understand why you’re so addicted to pinterest when he literally has multiple secret boards dedicated to stuff he wants to cook for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Literally has the boards divided by food you grew up eating, food he grew up eating, appetizers/entrées/desserts, like he does not play about this shit

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Does all of this just to see you do your lil happy dancey dance while you eat, he’s down ATROCIOUS for you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Will get offended if you share with the guys because he did NOT spend three hours in the kitchen for frat brothers #1-5 to waltz in and eat everything in sight

jooyeon: writes you love letters

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ He’s literally so lovesick it’s crazy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Like he has so much love for you that it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy whenever he remembers that you’re both in love and you’re all his

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Would scream how much he loves you from the rooftop if he could (he’s literally an idol so sadly he’d have to settle for screaming it into his pillow)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Since he can’t, he figured the next best thing was sending you love letters whether he was on tour or literally right next to you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ The letters range from “you’re the love of my life and my future wife, I can’t imagine my life without you” to “your eyes are the color of dirt and I think that’s neat, we should kiss”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ As goofy as he made the whole ordeal, it still means the world to you and you make sure to let him know that (he is literally a blushing mess while boldly stating that they’re not a big deal every single time)

[osakhee]

never enough, virgin!wonbin x reader

! endurance training, handjob, overstimulation, edging, slight dacryphilia

note : FINALLY something is done with the virgin wonbin thoughts ive been having for a week ..... 🙂‍↕️

"can i please at least be inside just once?"

"nope. not until you can hold it better."

"you always say that... i've done well the last time, when will it be enough?"

"it will never be enough. not until i say so."

wonbin lays back on his seat with a pout. he's glad the bus is mostly empty so no one can catch a glimpse of your conversation. you both sit at the far back of the bus, away from all the people going home at this hour. wonbin looks outside the window just to be met with the heavy droplets that pour outside, and he turns his head to look at you. he's still sulking, and the serious glare you throw at him makes his heart jump in his chest.

wonbin is your classmate. actually, he's more than that, but you like the "classmate" title, even though the boy doesn't think the same. he'd rather call your relationship "friends with benefits but he's the only one getting benefits". when at school, wonbin is all talk about how good he's in bed, he laughs at his male friends for being virgins at their age. he has the pretty face to make anyone believe his words, but little do they know he actually turns into a puddle when you get your hands on him. you wanted to see for yourself how good he is, he's handsome, and since he said he fucks well, why not? but when you dragged him behind the lockers, wonbin turned into a blushing mess, he didn't even know where to put his hands when you kissed him. he was moaning in your mouth in no time, so hard in his pants he felt like he could burst only from your lips that left his to pepper kisses on his jaw. he begged you not to tell anyone, so instead, you exposed you plan to him. he loses his virginity, and you get to fuck him and with him.

wonbin had no idea at first that fucking with him would mean hours of playing with his cock and nipples, jerking him off so slowly it would make his thighs tremble everytime your fingertips touched his skin. you asked him to keep the count, but he can't recall how many times you made him cum anymore. each time, he would be a shaky and whiny mess, he'd beg you to finally give him what he wants. you always promised it for next time, and thinking of the reward of being inside of you always made him harder than ever.

but now it's been weeks since you started to play with him. wonbin is over at your home almost everyday, and he's never getting his way. the way you would taunt him to reveal his little secret always made him comply and fall to his knees so you could stick your thumb in his mouth until he's drooling all over it.

the bus that's taking you and wonbin home finally reaches your stop, and you take the boy's hand to get down. to anyone, you would probably look like a cute couple walking back from school together. but the grip you have on wonbin's wrist and the tension he's feeling all over his body say otherwise. he can already feel the warmth painting his cheeks red and the anticipation building in his lower stomach. you both walk in silence until you reach your apartment. when the door opens, wonbin doesn't even wait for you, he gets inside and walk straight to you room. he wouldn't want to mess up his routine. you take your time, put down your jacket and bag before joining him.

wonbin sits on your bed with large puppy eyes, he's still upset at how harsh you were to him on the bus. he can't tell you how much it turns him on, or you'll have another reason to mess with his head, his secrets getting heavier each time you see each other. you walk to the bed and let your hand travels his face, from his jaw to his pretty lips, your fingers mess with his hair. you tug on his locks lightly to make his head fall back and give you a prettier view of his neck, his smooth skin almost perfect under your hungry lips. wonbin sighs heavily at the contact of your warm mouth, he grips the sheets in his hands, his legs rub together to get some frictions on his clothed dick.

you get away from his skin and push him down on the bed, his back gently hitting the blanket. wonbin knows what's next. his hands reach the hem of his shirt before taking it off, he then hurriedly opens his pants to get rid of any clothes that stops his cock from finally breathing. he doesn't care being naked in front of you anymore, he's used to your eyes burning his body when you look at him. wonbin takes a deep breath when he slides his underwear down, his already red and leaking dick hitting his stomach. you sit next to him and watch it twitch with anticipation, wonbin is almost moaning just from your warm presence next to him.

"are you ready?"

"if i do well, can i finally fuck you next time?"

"depends on how long you last today."

wonbin rests his head on the bed, his chest heaves with his sharp breaths. you let your fingers travel his faintly toned stomach and wonbin already squirm under your touch, shivers covering his whole body. your nails graze his skin down his thighs, his cock drips some more precum when you get so close to it. you could watch him for hours and drive him crazy, your hands massaging his inner thighs enough to have him cum untouched. with one finger, you draw slow circles on his lower stomach, going all the way up his length and rubbing his slit, his arousal quickly coating your finger. you lay next to wonbin and wrap your hand around his dick, your mouth finds one of his nipple and you suck eagerly on it.

the boy on your bed is already a moaning mess, his back arches on the sheets and his hips buck into your hand to get any kind of friction, but you stay completely still, only giving attention to his chest. your tongue twirls around his hardened pink bud, it makes wonbin cry out your name. he claws at the bed desperately for more, and after one more kiss on his chest, you sit up next to him again. you finally give attention to his cock that's calling for you, and stroke him at a dangerously slow pace. wonbin tries to steady his breath as much as he can, his eyes closed and concentrated on the pleasure you give him.

it doesn't take long to break him apart though. once you start paying more attention to his leaking tip, his hips jerk up constantly in your hand and you have to pin him down. the cries that come out of his throat are broken by your name rolling on his tongue over and over again. the way his thighs are shaking when you pick up the pace tell you everything you need to know. you give wonbin one more stroke before letting go of his dick. his knuckles turn white from how hard he's holding the covers under him, his cock twitches desperately. you rub your thumb on his slit and wonbin's back arches again on the bed.

"stop moving so much, that's how you get tired so fast."

"p-please.... give me m-more..."

"you will cum so fast thought."

"i won't i-i swear i won't please keep g-going..."

you want to believe wonbin's weak promise and you wrap your hand again around his length. you watch him close his eyes again and put all his willpower in stilling his hips for you. you give him lazy strokes again, your hand covered in the sticky precum that keeps rolling down his cock. you rest your other hand on his thigh and he jumps in your touch, his lips parting in a silent moan. for a while, only the wet sound of your palm around his dick and his heavy breathing can be heard in your room.

since you started your little training with wonbin, he never really got better, he would always cum awkwardly fast especially if you started teasing him. he lasted longer the last few times though, and you couldn't wait to have him inside of you and feel him filling your insides after a few thrusts. you loved watching him cry out your name each time he ended up fucking your fist, his hips desperately bucking up to meet your hand after you edged him for hours so he can finally gets the sweet release he's begging for.

every once in a while, you leave wonbin's cock to watch him from your place, you sit crossed legged on your bed and smile at the boy's desperation. his black hair stick to his forehead and his chest shines with a thin coat of sweat, his hands weakly rest next to him as he got tired from holding the sheets so tightly. beads of precum form on his slit and roll down his cock or drop on his lower stomach. it stains your bed, it makes your hand sticky and wet, and it gives shivers to wonbin each time you blow on his dick with a chuckle.

it's always when wonbin is the less ready that you start to jerk him off again, you barely listens to him as he speaks about his day so his mind would focus on anything but his throbbing cock. you grip his dick out of nowhere and hear his breath catch in his throat. his thoughts get lost in the pleasure, unable to form a single word but the desperate "please" that escapes his lips over and over again. you pout at his sensitivity and you tighten your grip around him, your palm very slowly making its way up and down.

"are you close already?"

"mmhh... p-please..."

"can you hold it a little longer? just a little."

"i'm n-not... not sure... it's s-so..."

"just a little more, i know you can do it."

wonbin hides his face in the sheets when you quicken your pace, his hips buck up again in your hand and you instantly let go of his cock. wonbin's head jerks up to look at you with a pleading whine, only for his head to drop back when you flatten your hand on his tip. his back arches and his hands find their way in his hair to push away the strands that cover his eyes. your palm rubs the sensitive head of his cock, wonbin's breath gets more erratic and louder. you give him a few pumps and check your phone that sat next to you on the bed. he's actually handling it well, probably the best he has done yet, but it's still not enough for you. you just want to make sure he could last when fucking you, you're just helping out! you feel wonbin's dick pulse in your hand and you stop all your movements again to squeeze it. his voice breaks into a high pitched cry, the tears that had been filling his eyes finally flowing down his cheeks. it's always been your favorite sight, he's such a wreck when you get your hands on him and he's never been more beautiful to you. you massage his thighs and from the way his cock throbs constantly, you can tell he's so close just a touch could make him burst.

"p-please... i'm gonna- i w-wanna cum please... i n-need to cum s-so bad..."

"hmm... you've done well... but it's not enough you know that."

when you start stroking him again, you see his head dig into the mattress and deep in the blanket, his fingers clawing at the sheets, his parted lips let every moan escape his throat. you can't tell if his cheeks glisten because of the sweat or because of his tears that roll down his face and down his neck.

"you know wonbin... i might just let you fuck me next time..."

"a-ah please... i-i'm cumming p-please i'm c-cumming..!"

you jerk him off faster and watch the ropes of hot and thick fluid hit your fingers and his tensed stomach, you make sure to grip his tip through his orgasm that has his thighs shaking. his hips stutters in your fist until he weakly shoots one last drop of cum on your hand. wonbin tries to get away from you and your teasing hand that keeps playing with his sensitive cock, he turns to the side and burry his whines in the sheets, he can't control the desperate thrusts of his hips until you finally let go of him. you check your phone again while wonbin catches his breath, he sniffles audibly when he finally sits up next to you. you look at his messed up face and push away gently a few strands of hair that stick to his forehead, your hand then resting on his cheek so you can wipe away his tears. wonbin looks at you with shining hopeful eyes that could make you melt.

"did i- did i do well? d-did i hold it long enough?"

"you know it's never enough to me... but you did well, i might actually let you inside me next time. you'll do well this time too, right?"

wonbin's cock weakly twitches at your words and the smile he gives you have you burning inside. maybe he could actually hold it when he fucks you. you couldn't wait.

im crazy wonbin is all ive been thinking about for the past few days im CRAZYYYYYY thank you cee for supporting me through the wonbin breakdown

[nicromancytarot]

HOW CAN YOU ENHANCE YOUR SEXUALITY (18+)

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. Channeled by me and my guides, using pictures.

I am a feminist before I am human, and I keep seeing people calling women “bop’s” all over the media, which is just another derogatory term to start off a pathetic attempt to suppress women’s sexuality, so let’s see how you can enhance yours, shall we?

(Minors, please don’t interact with this one xoxo)

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides how you could enhance your sexuality to better your experience and express your sensuality, pick a pile to see what they had to say!

PILE 1

Blood on the snow by Hozier came on, so you guys could honestly benefit from having sex, or doing some type of sexual “ritual” when on your period, even if it just be a form of self pleasure. I’m hearing that some of you could have your period in cycle with the full moons, it could be a good idea to try your hand at giving yourself a release when the moon is bright and full.

I’m seeing that you guys have an innocent way of expressing your sexuality, I’m getting that you may have been sexualised at a young age, or you feel very infantilised now. Due to this, I feel like it could be good for you to reclaim the thing that people make you feel bad for, wear those frilly clothes, and put that bow in your hair, allow yourself to have your hair beautifully done in some pigtails, however do not allow someone to rip your innocence away from you, just because they see it differently does not mean that they have the right to make that your problem.

Your sex life could be nothing, or very inconsistent, you may be scared of hookups, or need deep emotional attachment in order to have sex with someone, I would recommend building those foundations for safe sexual encounters if that’s what you desire, or allowing yourself to let go of the need for control all the time. Hooking up, or having sex spontaneously does not make you disgusting or easy going, sex is fun and beautiful, it’s the one time that someone sees you at your most vulnerable state, your body undone and intertwined with theirs, but it can also be experimental and exciting, you get to learn new things about your body and figure out what you do and don’t like, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I’m literally getting “smoke a joint” lmao, you may feel like you’re too stressed to have fun with sex, maybe you’re scared of trying new things with your body, some of you could even shy away from masterbation out fear of judgment, or just feeling gross. You need to relax, sex is such a natural thing, and I’m sorry that yours has been so frowned upon from a young age, but you deserve to have fun, to explore your body, and all the possibilities that come with it.

Try a rose toy, possibly a pretty pink dildo, who knows.

PILE 2

I’m feeling that you guys haven’t had sex since a breakup, you’re possibly shying away from being openly sexual since this ending, and it’s hurting you a lot. A number of you feel as though your emotions are expressed through sex, so you’re really finding it hard at the moment to show people how you feel, and now blow up in their face, you’re like a bottle that’s spilling over.

You guys need to loosen up, you either turn to self pleasure a lot or not at all, no in between. You need to find yourself some way of expressing those emotions beside the sex, I’m feeling that your “shadows” don’t come out until night, which I believe was normally when you would partake in these two people sexual activities, which was why it was so easy for you to express yourself during these sexual encounters.

I feel like you need to have someone you trust in order to express your feelings, and for that I would recommend hanging around with your friends late at night, a possible sleepover, so then you’ll tell them exactly as you feel.

Now back to the sex, I feel my shoulders and back tensing up, and I just consciously unclenched my jaw, so I’m feeling that you need to utilise sex in order to relax. With the full moon, you guys might be feeling a tad more stressed than normal, I feel the need to tell you that will pass.

I heard “Italian” so I went to search up Italian sex toys incase that would help you, however I did manage to find a Reddit post that mentions a public vending machine selling dildos for €20, so for that, I am feeling that you need to be more open and willing to try new things, things that are unexpected but exciting, you could benefit from a hookup, preferably not your ex.

Throw them panties aside and enjoy yourself, loosen up, let yourself feel that pleasure that you are clearly so desperately seeking. Have fun, and do it unapologetically.

You could benefit from a bullet vibrator, or a clitoral pump.

PILE 3

You guys struggle to go with the flow, you let things happen, but they happen in a stylish way, you are the type to have a bed rocking time, and then complain about your favourite blanket getting dirty, before getting up and grabbing yourself something to eat. You ride the tide, and possibly something else. I think you like to be in control, but you struggle to get attached. You may have quite a few hookups, maybe you forgot about self pleasure and rely on other people to do that for you.

What would happen if you laid in bed by yourself, cracking open a pomegranate, letting the juice paint your chest like you’re its canvas, would that help you lose control? I’m seeing a need for mess, your body becoming covered in the red tint of the pomegranate, or maybe you’re eating a peach and letting the juice run down your chin, do you like fruit?

I’m getting a natural vibe to things, I think you need things to be natural, rather than so controlled. After having sex you’re going ahead and making yourself a bowl of nachos, how long does that take you? You have the add the nachos, then the cheese, some sauce, chillies, you putting guacamole on there too? It’s all too controlled.

Grab yourself a tub of ice cream and let someone go down on you, or give yourself a vibrator for that same effect.

Just lose the control.

This is random, but honestly probably a great exercise for you, I want you to put on some makeup, tons of mascara, lots of lipstick, or gloss. And then I want you to smudge it, stare at yourself in the mirror as you ruin your makeup, don’t try and redo it, don’t get upset or angry, don’t even hesitate, watch yourself as you allow your mind to let go of the need for perfection, the need for control.

Hell, drink a cup of coffee at night, just do something that will stop you being so authoritative when it comes to sex, also, stop being on top, just for a little, let your sexual partners take the lead this time.

You don’t need to be in control.

you could benefit from a rotating or thrusting dildo, or a travel/pocket vibrator.

[sister-lucifer]

Things the Creepypasta + Marble Hornets crew would do that would give me the ick 

Toby is very childish, sometimes in ways that aren’t cute. He’ll throw a whining, foot stomping tantrum if he doesn’t get something he really wants. He’s also as messy eater and will just walk around with stains on his mouth and shirt 

Tim is inconsiderate and apathetic a lot of the time and will put out his cigarette in your canned drink before thinking to ask if you’re done with it, and he’ll not only make you get another one but also ask you to get him a beer ‘since you’re up’

Jeff holds grudges against random people he doesn’t even know for insane amounts of time, like someone so much as brushes his shoulder on the subway you’ll hear about it for weeks. Also he can never ever see himself as being in the wrong in even the slightest way in any scenario no matter what and it’s impossible to hold a civil discussion with him

Brian has no idea what he wants out of any relationship, platonic or otherwise, and will accidentally lead you on jumping from ‘let’s be friends with benefits’ to ‘i’m deeply in love with you’ to ‘let’s just be friends’ and everything in between, not necessarily in that order

Jason The Toymaker is a bit effeminate with his way of dress and general self expression, but is so embarrassed and in denial about it that he does a 180 and accidentally turns into a misogynistic trad guy when he talks

Laughing Jack is not and will never be over his severe abandonment issues and will consistently invade your privacy (like breaking into your phone or laptop) to make sure you aren’t insulting him or planning to leave him behind his back

Eyeless Jack is generally very quiet which wouldn’t be an issue if it didn’t lead to very passive aggressive displays of unhappiness instead of just telling you what the issue is. Like instead of just asking you to do the dishes he’ll take the dirty dishes and stack them on your bedside table in the middle of the night. Doesn’t matter how good you usually are with meeting his needs and wants, this is his first course of action

Jane doesn’t really have feelings of her own anymore and sort of forgets that others have them. If you come to her to vent you’ll only feel worse because she’ll keep saying things like “well why don’t you just _____?” thinking she’s being helpful by offering a solution but failing to realize that’s not what you need right now

[bluesgrxce]

Yandere (machine-ish?) Connor Headcanons

I love soft deviant Connor like anyone else does, but machine Connor is sooo,,, omgggggggg..... I've been holding in my thoughts about him for so long that it's unhealthy. So I went for a Hannah Montana best of both worlds kinda thing. What if Connor acted like a deviant around you, but a machine towards everyone else?

How this happens is something I can't quite explain. Connor probably couldn't, either. To everyone else, an android is either a machine or a deviant-- There's no such thing as an inbetween. He would have agreed with this prior to bonding with you. You probably treated him in a way that nobody else did, sympathizing with him on a deeper level or making him question his morals, so he can see why that would push him to deviancy. 

But when you're not around, all those overwhelming emotions he felt just fade away. The mission goes back front and center to his priorities. He only feels two things at that point: confusion that runs his LED wild and desire for you that makes his thirium pump pound even when he's not in motion. Nobody else can bring about such reactions within him. 

He runs plenty of diagnostic checks in an attempt to figure out what's wrong with him. At one point, he'll try to avoid you and force himself into staying a machine, but that just makes him less efficient because he'll constantly worry about you instead. 

He would eventually accept himself as a deviant, but only so he wouldn't have to take orders from Cyberlife anymore. He doesn't want anything standing between the two of you. But he still largely acts like a machine and he doesn't mind that at all. He just sets his new mission to making you entirely his... 

Even once Connor sees his emotions as real, it's still his natural instinct to mask them. Especially negative ones like anger, sadness, and jealousy. He wouldn't want to show them unless they benefit his situation somehow, such as if he wanted to persuade or intimidate you/others. Emotions only matter to him if they're useful. 

For example, he *does* feel the desire to show affection towards you, and he will do it. He'll compliment you whenever you do something admirable. He'll reassure you and show geniune worry whenever you're upset about something. He'll even study romance media just to learn how to act more natural in the relationship (He thinks that'll help him act more natural, anyway... Lord help you if he gets his hands on Twilight 💀 But if the Bryan Dechart Twilight commercial is anything to go off of, he'd look good as a vampire, at least). 

But he doesn't do that stuff simply because he loves you. He does it because he knows your relationship benefits from it and you'll likely leave him if you feel neglected. He wouldn't bother if he knew it wouldn't keep you around. So if your relationship isn't exactly consensual in the first place, well... 

Which makes him sound pretty manipulative, right? You have no idea. 

Connor's android abilities give him a terrifying amount of advantages as a yandere. The first thing is that he always analyzes you when you enter the room, even though that often means analyzing you multiple times a day. It never bores him because he always manages to discover something new. Sometimes he'll blurt out random comments and you'll have to do a double take because he makes it easy to forget that he's obsessed with you.

"Your birthday is coming up soon. You might already know I'm aware of that type of information, but you should still bring it up with me. Otherwise I'll have to start believing I can't trust you and I'll have to make my own investigations." 

"Your heart rate goes up every time I touch you like this. I didn't realize physical contact was so important to human relationships. Don't worry, I won't stop. I won't let anyone stop me."

"Your serotonin levels are at an all-time low... Clearly, it can't be my fault, since I've done everything I am sure a good boyfriend would do. I'd like you to be honest when you tell me what's wrong this time."

The red flags fly higher as time goes on. He'll stop talking about all these observations if you tell him to, but he'll keep analyzing you anyway. 

Connor is enamoured with your DNA, as well. It helps him feel closer to you, which can often be difficult for him since he's not human. So if it belongs to you, and it can fit, it's going in his mouth. He'll do gross shit like keep your used lollipop sticks in his pocket so he can sample them whenever he wants. There's only one emotion he can't feel no matter what you do: shame. 

The invasive behavior doesn't stop there. He'll invite himself into your home and go through your things. He'll keep asking questions and trick you into revealing more information about yourself than you should. Knowing everything there possibly is to know about you gives him a stronger feeling of control for a single reason...

Your chance of escape plummets as he learns more about you, because it allows him to predict your behavior. He'll get scary accurate if you let him get close to you. This mostly benefits him in situations where he believes you want to leave him, or you did leave him, so he can figure out what you plan to do/already did and find the best method to get you back. If you already did leave, he'll examine your recent whereabouts like it's a crime scene and use his reconstruction ability. Even if you're insanely careful, he'll probably find a clue that'll lead him to you.

But sometimes he'll do it in normal situations, too, just as a silent guessing game. For instance: '(Y/N) will enter the police station at 8:18AM. I'm waiting for them at the entrance, so they'll greet me, but speed-walk away and avert eye contact. They'll head into the break room at 8:19AM and pretend to look around a bit, so Gavin won't make fun of them when they go for the same snack they always do. Gavin will make fun of them anyway and they'll argue for two minutes. Then--'

He has to stop thinking so he can greet you when you enter the building. Exactly at 8:18AM. He smirks to himself, only to drop into a frown when he hears Gavin's distant obnoxious laughter afterward. 

Remember how Connor once analyzed Hank's food and advised him against eating it? He does stuff like that to you all the time. And if you actually take the advice he gives, he'll take that as an opportunity to become more controlling. Oh, but only for the sake of your health, of course...

"You know, you shouldn't sit in that type of position. Bad posture can lead to health issues later on in life." "Then how should I sit?" "...It'll be easier if I show you." 

And so he'll help re-position you, using that as an excuse to touch you. He would especially do this if you weren't yet in a relationship, because he knows that as the type of android he is, he doesn't have a good reason to do so. The touch only lasts a brief moment. It's not inappropriate at all, and his grip was quite gentle. But it's weird that he went out of his way to do in the first place and that's all you might need to feel uncomfortable about it. 

But a lot of that is based off of the assumption that you're human. If you're an android, he still manages to find invasive things to do against your will. For one thing, he loves probing your memory. It's already difficult to lie to him and get away with it, but that might make it impossible, depending on what you're lying about. He doesn't care that it's an invasion of privacy and will do it if he finds a good excuse to do so.

Connor keeps an eye on your stress level and uses it to his advantage. He prefers to use persuasion when convincing you to do something, (he knows how to negotiate, after all) but he'll ultimately turn to intimidation if necessary. Which means heading straight into interrogation mode. 

This won't happen unless you're extremely rebellious, but if it does, he doesn't hold back. He'll treat you like you're a sick criminal, yelling at you, pushing blame and guilt onto you, and using physical force. 28 stab wounds type shit. He would avoid raising your stress level to 100% since he knows it could drive you to do crazy things, but that still doesn't make his actions okay. 

Even if you're really sensitive to that sort of treatment-- hell, even if you have some kind of trauma related to it-- he pushes away what little guilt he feels. He promises not to do it again "as long as you don't force me to." Actually, though, it encourages him to do it more. He knows it works against you now. 

His abilities don't stop there. He can mimic your voice using his vocal imitation, and all the voices of your loved ones, too. He went out of his way to meet them all, just in case he needs to trick you in the future. He likes being prepared. 

There are times when he's alone and he'll say stuff in your voice just so he can hear what it would sound like, such as, "I love you, Connor." Once again, he doesn't feel shame. Even if that seems pathetic. 

Let's just say it now. You cannot physically fight back against him. Maybe you'll have a chance if you're an android, but he knows about his advantage very well. He won't hesitate to remind you if you try getting aggressive. But even if you manage to get rid of him once, there's another model waiting to take his place. 

On a related note... I hope you never meet RK900. We only saw that guy for a minute, he said absolutely nothing in that minute, but the whole fandom has agreed that he's a menance. I fully agree. RK900 is definitely different from Connor, but they still have just enough similarities for him to get attached to you, too. Get help while you still can. 

The video of Bryan Dechart dancing as Connor lives rent free in my mind. I watch it on repeat like an iPad kid watching Friday Night Funkin' YouTube Kids videos. My brain just melts and I can't think of anything else. No, this isn't me simping for Bryan Dechart. This is me wanting Connor dancing to be canon. A girl can dream.

[joelswritingmistress]

Neighbors With Benefits: Part 10 (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Life felt completely up in the air. It was as exciting as it was anxiety-ridden. The BMW remained at Joel’s house overnight, and even long after you’d gotten home after your romantic romp in the lake, jealousy and insecurity ate away at your core - not to mention every other heightened emotion you could think that you had no idea what to do with.

He said he wanted this, you reminded yourself. Still, there was a looming dark cloud over your inner paradise in the form of the legal situation between Joel and Cecille. Should she try to convince him to take her back, maybe she would be enticing enough for him to agree to it. After all, this wasn’t some high school couple that was simply calling it quits. This was a marriage.

Your racing thoughts disallowed you to have a solid night’s sleep. Each time you awoke you took a glance out the window to see the car beside Joel’s truck. It was torture. When the morning finally did come, you were pleased to see Cicille enter her vehicle ahead of Joel. The question was, was she going to work, or was she leaving for good?

Your phone went off soon after, and you barricaded yourself in your room to take Joel’s call.

“Hey.” The one word practically came out as a sigh of relief.

“Hey.” Joel cleared his throat, “Look, I’m uh, I’m going golfing with your father after work.”

“Oh, yeah,” you remembered, “That was today huh?”

“Yeah.” He paused, “And then I’m going to get a room somewhere for the night.”

“Like a hotel?”

“Yeah.”

“So, is um… is Cecille staying there permanently then?”

“Honestly, things are a bit of a mess, and there’s nothing legally keeping her from being there. She loves to make my life a hell of a lot more difficult when it’s convenient for her, hence why this thing is ending the way it is.”

“I’m sorry.” You sighed.

“I shouldn’t even be venting all that out to you,” Joel went on. “But, I just wanted to let you know that I wasn’t going to be at the house tonight.”

It felt like a crushing blow that you were potentially losing Joel as a neighbor. Having him right next door was exciting and fun. Sneaking back and forth had been an addicting addition to the relationship. To have his ex-wife appearing out of the blue to take the house back over felt unfair, if their verbal agreement had stated otherwise.

“What hotel are you staying at?”

“I have to make some calls on my lunch break,” he explained. “And, uh… if you’re around I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“I’m around,” you explained with a nod, though you knew he couldn’t see the gesture.

Joel hesitated before speaking again. “Thanks for… understanding. I’m sorry for how this all must seem from your point of view.”

“I trust you,” you said to him. “Divorces happen and from what I’ve heard through the grapevine they’re rarely easy.” You paused a second before adding, “I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.” Joel sighed heavily on the other end of the line, “I, uh… I’m really lucky to have you, honey.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Despite all the heavy feelings, a smile still formed on your face.

“I’ll text ya the name of the hotel this afternoon.”

“Okay.”

“I, uh, I can’t wait to see ya. I know it’s only been since last night but I got used to you sleeping next to me.”

Your heart went from a steady beat to outright pounding in your chest. “I loved waking up next to you.” And I fucking love you!  You wanted to shout it. You wanted to cry as you told him. The thought of it alone made you want to burst into tears but you didn’t know why. The feelings were so intense and the circumstances were so up in the air that it left you feeling a bit tossed in all directions. It was overwhelming.

“Well, if you’ll have me, tomorrow morning you will.” Pep returned to his voice as he spoke those words.

“You know by now that I’ll gladly have you.”

“Okay, then,” Joel said, “It’s a date.”

That was enough to hold you over. While the long term held some serious questions, the short term had you back to walking on air. Spending the night at a hotel with Joel already felt like a little slice of heaven. No one would know where you were. No one would be there to potentially interrupt or catch you. In your mind, you could play house again and act in your fantasy world like you were husband and wife.

When you made your way back downstairs to see your mother filling her travel coffee mug, you smiled. “I can make the pasta salad for the picnic tomorrow,” you offered, “And whatever other appetizers will hold overnight. Oh, and I’ll set up the volleyball net this afternoon. Dad’s going golfing, I think.”

“Thank you,” you mother said with a smile. “That would be great.”

“Hey, I’m not going to be home tonight, but I promise I’ll be back for the picnic.”

“You’re staying out?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

“Holly’s?”

“Mm-hmm.”

You mother squinted her eyes. “Is there… something you’re not telling me?” She asked with playful accusation.

“Like what?”

“Well… you barely stay at this house anymore,” she began, putting a hand up before you could protest,” And it’s fine, you’re a young woman, you can do as you please. But, as your mom, of course I’m a little curious.”

Crap. Where was she going with this?

“Are you in some kind of secret relationship?”

“Mom…” You shook your head.

“With some guy… or even with Holly?”

Your eyes bugged out of your head and you began to laugh. “What? Holly’s been my best friend since middle school.”

“It happens.” She shrugged, making you laugh further. It was a relief that she thought of Holly before Joel, though you knew sooner or later you would have to tell her the truth.

“No,” you giggled now, “I can’t wait to tell her you said that.”

“Oh, don’t make fun of me,” she said, shaking her head, “You girls always teamed up on us moms growing up.”

“Some things never change,” you teased, laughing out loud. In the lighthearted nature of your talk, you almost wanted to blurt out the truth and tell her you were in love with Joel. In your heart, you knew a part of her wouldn’t judge, but the other rational part of her would break down every reason why getting involved with him was a terrible idea - and you didn’t need that right then. Still, you decided to be half honest with your mother. “I am seeing someone,” you admitted.

“I knew it.”

You chuckled, “But, I didn’t want to put anyone in an awkward position so I kept pretending I was staying over at Holly’s”

“Who is he? Did you meet him at school? What was his major?”

“It’s still a bit new,” you explained, “But I really… really like him. A lot.”

Your mom’s face seemed to glow. “You’ve never said that about anyone… maybe your high school boyfriend, but…” She shook her head, “Oh, I can’t wait to meet him!”

You already have. A smile lingered on your face but you could feel how forced it was from the tense feeling in your cheeks.

“You will,” you explained, “I promise. In time. I just… maybe don’t tell Dad. It’s a weird, in-between time I’m in. I feel like an adult and a kid at the same time and I’m living with you guys and-”

“I get it,” your mother cut you off, “I’ll keep it between us. I’m glad you’ve met someone that makes you… glow.” She grinned, “I knew it. I knew something was different. He treats you nice?”

“Yes,” you said right away, “Very nice. He’s a gentleman. I think you and Dad have set a good example of what to look for in a relationship.” You winked and decided to butter her up a bit - not that it wasn’t true; but sucking up a little wouldn’t hurt once she found out that Joel Miller was your secret lover.

“Your father and I love each other very much,” she concluded, capping her coffee. Your mother smiled and pointed at you, “He’s a good man.”

“And a great Dad.” You exchanged a kiss on the cheek, “And of course you’re a great mom.”

“Stop trying to make me cry before work.” She cupped your face, “My baby is growing up. And it’s hurting me and making me smile all at once.”

You smiled back at her, exchanged another hug and then parted ways for the day. You spent your day cooking and did a little baking before whipping out all of the yard games for the following afternoon. The volleyball net was a little frustrating to set up alone, but you figured it out. And then you followed with setting up cornhole, staking in a set up for horseshoes and even dragging out a set of folding tables so everything was more or less ready for Saturday.

“Hey!” Joel’s voice caught your attention unexpectedly from next door later in the day.

You whipped around with a smile and had the urge to run across the yard to greet him. You played it cool, of course and smiled, staring at him with your hands on your hips.

“Hey!” You shouted back.

“Straighten out those horseshoe pits! They’re cooked!” Joel smiled wide and winked.

You laughed and bit your bottom lip. “Maybe you should come over and straighten them out.”

“I can’t,” he motioned like he was hitting a golf ball, “I’m play golf with my girlfriend’s father.”

He said that loud enough for anyone to hear, but you realized that no one was home to even question it. It made you laugh out loud.

“Keep you ball out of the rough,” you shouted through cupped hands.

Joel began to laugh out loud. He smirked and put his hands out the sides. “No promises.”

Fuck. You wanted to kiss him. No, you wanted to pounce on him.

“Check your phone in about thirty seconds.”

“Okay.”

“Your dad comped me a room on the golf course,” he went on with a shrug, “Felt bad about what’s been going on.”

“He what?”

“I hope that’s okay,” Joel added.

“Oh, yeah…” You hadn’t realized your shock had translated into some form of disapproval, “Of course that’s fine. That’s a really nice hotel.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, “Check in is any time after four. I’ll still be playing then, but you can go whenever you’d like.”

“Do I just use your name?”

“I know it’s probably risky but I gave both of ours.”

You smiled. “Well, I better go inside and freshen up then. I’ve been sweating out here the last hour.”

Joel looked around in all directions before making the trek over to your yard. Your heart rate began to pick up again and you took just a few, nearly-frozen steps toward him. When he reached where you stood he asked, “When do they get home?”

“I, um.. well-”

“Do you have any butter I can borrow?” Joel smiled playfully, reminiscent of the first conversation you’d had together on the back step.

You smiled back and swallowed hard. “I have whatever you need.”

“Is there time?” he asked more directly, looking you in the eye.

“There’s time,” you whispered back, as if someone might hear you.

Joel looked like he wanted to pull you against him and kiss you; but he didn’t. He let out a deep breath, holding your eye contact until you led him inside the back door a step behind you. When you got inside it was as if he had been overseas at war. You didn’t know if you pulled him to you, or he pulled you to him, but your lips crashed against one another’s.

Wondering if you could get caught was the farthest thing from your mind when your hand was tangled in Joel’s wavy hair. He held you with such force and kissed you with such ferocity that you couldn’t hold back what you were feeling.

“I love you,” you gasped in between kisses, “Fuck, I love you, Joel.”

Joel’s tongue dominated yours harder and you only separated from him because you felt like you couldn’t breathe. He let out a gasping breath of his own and let out several deep breaths into your open mouth.

“I love you, too, honey.” He swallowed hard, pecked your lips and you kissed on another more firmly. Joel’s hand lingered on the side of your face. “I fucking love you.”

CLICK HERE FOR PART 11

@pedropascal111 @axshadows @mybritishstyle @untamedheart81 @amyispxnk @goodvibesonly421 @cosmic006533-blog @ashleyfilm @maybetomorrowgirl @rebeccawinters @cuteanimalmama @writlingerz @vickie5446 @drewharrisonwriter @churchofjoemiller

[showtoonzfan]

So according to Charlie’s point of view, ever since Lucifer and Lilith split, he never called or hung out with her unless he needed a favor. He also didn’t even know where she was or what she was doing, so he hasn’t been in her life at all for years. Hell, Charlie even says she barley knew him af a young age. And yet he’s portrayed as a wimpy goofball, who desperately wants to reconnect with her the moment she calls, even celebrating the fact that she wanted to see him. So….why did he never see her before? The episode never explains that. They act as if he’s been wanting to reconnect with her for so long and was depressed due to it, yet according to what we’re told, he never put in the effort to actually go see her all these years, he didn’t even know about her life or the hotel project. It also threw me off on how he instantly agreed to help her run the hotel, he was so happy and eager so why didn’t he do that sooner?

And as expected, Lucifer isn’t called out on this. In fact, he sings about how much he cares about Charlie, how she’s the only thing worth protecting and he’ll adore her. Cool beans man, but if you cared about her that much, you had a funny way of showing it by doing nothing for 7 years. The only thing he’s “demonized” for is the fact that he has no hope for sinners, and no hope for Heaven agreeing to redeem them, but they just pull the “he was an uwu baby who’s dreams were crushed and he doesn’t want the same to happen to his daughter”- and then it’s all lazily patched up in the end. Like I see so many fans cry and say how much of a good dad Lucifer is, yet the dialogue leaves me to believe otherwise lol, like he ignored his daughter for years and only used her when it would benefit him. It’s just really confusing cause the Lucifer we meet doesn’t match up with the Lucifer they built up, the pilot is confirmed canon so he still technically called her a failure and if anything you’d think Charlie would have a closer relationship with her mother instead— like….I’m 100% convinced him being a bumbling softie and Lilith being the villain was a last minute decision.

And even then, when “More than Anything” started, it made me feel nothing cause the show forgot to build up on Lucifer and the relationship between his daughter ON screen as well as taking time to make their rekindling feel earned. Instead none of it is earned, and I’m getting tired of Viv excusing and wanting us to applaud her goofy dad characters for doing the bare minimum lol. (Cough, Stolas).

[keepittoyourshelf]

Since the algorithm on my various socials thinks I actually want to see a ton of people simping over Rhys and ACOTAR, let’s get down to the bones of why that algorithm is fucked beyond all comprehension, shall we?

I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m pro-Tamlin, not in the sense that I approve of what he did, but from the place that I believe he’s worthy of forgiveness in the same way any of the men that SJM otherwise glorifies in her work is worthy of it for any of their transgressions.

I shouldn’t have to do a paint by numbers thing here to make this obvious, but based on the actual text written by SJM in her own words, Tamlin has objectively done nothing better or worse than Rhysand has.

The big complaint is his temper, of course, and pro-Rhysies love to bullshit about how the red flags were all over book 1 and SJM is such a master at foreshadowing.

He locked Feyre in a house against her will to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be caged. How is that any worse than Rhysand…drugging her and making her give him lap dances, in order to protect her, when she clearly didn’t want to be dancing naked in front of strangers?

Go on. I’ll wait for your rationalization.

Rhysand’s whole shtick was that he’s only playing the villain to keep Velaris (and only Velaris) safe…those fucks in the Hewn City can eat a bag of dicks, right? But tell me again how Tamlin is the really bad one for enforcing a tithe because it’s unfair to those who can’t afford it (fair point). But Rhysand chooses to save the one city in his court that has zero problems. Let’s let those that might already be suffering from poverty get kidnapped and tortured by a psychopath. That’s probably better than a tithe, right?

And let’s not forget how Tamlin mocked Feyre and Rhys at the High Lords meeting. While funny, it was in poor taste. At least Rhysand didn’t publicly mock Tamlin. He had the decency to do it privately when he went out of his way to go to a deeply troubled man’s house and, in the midst of an obvious mental health crisis, not only had the gall to ask for resources from a man that has no resources because his own wife fucking destroyed them out of spite, but proceeds to rub in his triumph over a man that has nothing left. Nothing to see there, right?

Even if you could ignore all of that (and you’d have to be willfully fucking thick to do so, which a lot of these people are), I shall leave you with Tamlin’s role as a spy for Hybern. That’s obviously supposed to be a real shock because TaMliN BaD at this point, so why would anyone believe him? It’s not like he had a really good explanation like Rhys gave when he murdered literal children and innocents just to ensure Amarantha didn’t know how noble he actually was. Right? RIGHT?! And it’s not like anyone would have a harder time believing someone who had played evil and done actually evil things for the “greater good” (a collectivist dog whistle if there ever was one) for fifty fucking years over the dude that suddenly goes bad after being a progressive and respected high lord for the same period of time? I mean, it’s not like we’re dealing with severe mental anguish and trauma here. That’s crazy talk.

Shadow Daddy does no wrong. Even when he does. Because reasons.

Those idiots on TikTok making stupid videos showing their bf’s being all shocked and I KNEW IT when Tamlin “turns” can chew glass along with all those dipshits selling mugs that say “Tamlin’s Tears” on Etsy right next to merch glorifying a man that literally gaslit his soulmate into believing that forced drunken naked lap dances were actually a good thing, when you think about it.

SJM isn’t a master of foreshadowing. She’s a sloppy writer of moderately entertaining fiction that has a kink for glorifying severely unhealthy behaviors without the benefit of a trigger warning.

Fuck off if you think that’s all okay and think that anyone that says Tamlin isn’t any worse comparatively is the crazy one. Projection is a real disorder. Look it up. Right after you order your 543rd Rhysand candle.

[heartmachinez]

Heart Machine is on Patreon!

Why are we on Patreon?

Games are the greatest form of expression and entertainment that we've ever created. There’s a common saying in games development that it's a miracle that any games are made, let alone good ones. Now, it’s even more brutal.

Over the past two years, the industry has rapidly changed, flipped around and turned upside down. Funding for new projects is sparse, even for successful devs. Everything is far more expensive to make. Paths we used to be able to take to create projects no longer exist.

You’ve likely heard about this on some front. It’s grim. 30% of all games developers have either been laid off or had their roles significantly reduced or affected over the past year alone. Studios have closed. Many have left. We at Heart Machine are not immune, having gone through layoffs in November of this year.

Since the old models are not enough, we have to adapt. So we're asking for support to help us continue to not just survive, but adapt and thrive. To help us prototype and build new projects, to help support us when the state of the industry has made it so much harder to exist.

We've always been big on talking directly to our audience. We think this Patreon is an opportunity for us to do more on this front while also benefiting.

There are a few key goals we have in mind for this Patreon:

1. To give a more thorough and deep insight into our process and what it takes to make games. Sharing exclusive write-ups, videos, concept art, design documents and prototype gifs from all of our projects past and present.

2. To share more about the issues in the industry driving this state of turmoil. E.g. corporate consolidation, overspending, accelerating costs, and a changing market.

3. To reach a bigger audience with more transparency in an otherwise notoriously opaque industry in the hope we can share and do our part to help others to better navigate and survive.

We all love games. We’re here because it’s an industry driven by passion. But it’s never been easy. We've been making titles we are extremely proud of for 10 years now, and we want to make sure we can stick around another 10.

Approaches like this Patreon are part of what it takes to make sure of that, to get through the toughest times and come out ultimately better.

We hope that you enjoy the content and inside access that we’ll be providing here.

Thank you so much for your support.

[revvethasmythh]

I’ve already seen someone say that the wildmother “emotionally manipulated and distracted orym into not asking any questions” and I’m like…. What? How? What’s with people in this fandom accusing every other character of manipulating other characters? Do you think it was manipulation?

I'm honestly not terribly surprised to see takes like that appear--and, to be entirely fair, I think it's possible there was some manipulation there inasmuch as there was during the Changebringer's commune with FCG. They need these mortals' help; it's not surprising to think they'd appeal to them in a specific way to acquire that help.

That said, some of the takes I've seen really truly rely on a bad faith analysis of Melora's intentions there. I think it's worth noting that she has been courting Orym/has taken an interest in Orym since at least episode 42! Her interest in him is neither recent nor surprising and she, without any strings, has provided boons to him throughout the campaign. I think Orym himself is wary of the possibility of being manipulated, hence some of his hesitation after coming out of the vision, and his statement that he's willing to stand with Wildmother as a "partner" more than a follower. This is a man who doesn't really trust the gods, but could nonetheless benefit from an alliance with one.

And, the thing is, you could point to almost any act of kindness and invent a way that it could be manipulation. That's what a lot of those takes sound like to me. Why did Melora only speak to Orym and not any of the other Hells who are more critical of the gods? Because she's been courting Orym for 62 episodes now. Why did she pull away when he questioned her about Aeor? She was opening up a new path for him to walk down in the vision. Why did she show him a cosmic horror that almost broke him? He asked to see it. Why did she comfort him after that? She didn't actually mean to hurt him and was apologizing. Why did she show him Will? Because Will's soul is actually in her domain and letting Orym see him again is, like, nice. Sure, you can assess a lot of those things as manipulative if you want to--but that's a choice you have to make about assessing something in good or bad faith, just like in anything else. And Orym appears to be taking it on good faith at present, which is probably the best foot to put forward, even if you are not entirely sure of someone's full intentions. "Assess in good faith until proven otherwise" is where I'm sitting on this, particularly given the history of past positive relationships Melora has fostered with other characters in the campaigns.

[circeyoru]

Angelic Doctor _ Part 2

[Human!Alastor x Disguised Angel!Reader]

Part 1

Part 2 (here)

You tried. You really tried. You ignored that blood-red colour his soul had and tried to change him, maybe even turn it into a lighter shard so he could be redeemed or saved in some other way. But there was a reason why that blood-red colour was such a dread to Angels like you, it was dreaded for the known reason that that mortal was an evil person. One that was barely forced to do evil, unlike those with criminal parents or cultists led down a wrong path. No, no, no. These people were the ones who picked their fate and enjoyed it

You had thought Alastor’s kindness and caring persona shown to you would help you persuade him to turn over a new leaf, but he merely favoured you and that was that. No benefits for you to take advantage of that would change the dark person he was

Alastor noticed your advances. Was it to get him into Heaven? Dear, you are so pure and adorable! Words can’t describe it! He was doomed to Hell the moment his shock turned to excitement at his first kill which was his father! Instead of getting him to Heaven, he wants to bring you down to Hell with him

He thought that spending the remainder of his time on Earth with you was enough, but it wasn’t. The more he spent his time with you, the more he wanted to keep you to himself. A darling just for him and his interest only

He started small, asking you out on days off or break time, taking you to visit local cafes he thinks are good or needs a companion to go for those pair offer deals. Then it started to grow, he’d take you to work, walk you back home as he insisted that the streets were dangerous since the cops had yet to catch that deadly killer, even wait for your breaks to come so that he could have a meal with you. He knows you’re a busy person, being a doctor that everyone relied upon and trusted and all that goodness

Originally, he thought your goodness and kindness were a facade to draw people in or a way to earn people’s gratitude towards you. Yet in his time with her, you remained constant, sure there were moments where you let out some steam and vent, but otherwise you were the perfect opposite of him. This just solidifies his fear that the two of you will be apart after one of you dies, forever

In a desperate attempt, he tried binding your soul to his so that even when you die first and go to Heaven, the moment he dies and is dragged down to Hell, you’ll join him. Vice versa

That when he found out you’re not even human. You were a literal Angel

You were made aware of Alastor’s attempt since your angelic powers activated themselves in the middle of the night while you were peacefully asleep. Your wings were summoned and your hair turned white as your halo appeared over your head. At the foot of your bed, you found Alastor with a spellbook of some kind. Around your bed was the setting of some ritual

Betrayed by your kindness, you rushed out of Alastor’s manor that he offered to you during the Great Depression that brought so much suffering. In a twisted turn of event, your time was up and your opportunity came in the form of a lightning shock. Thus, your return to Heaven after your journey on Earth in the city of New Orleans

Alastor barely had the time to compute the failed soul binding, then there was your angelic self, but the most devastating realization was your death. Of course, he knew you weren’t dead, but you’re as good as dead because he would never see you again. You’d be above and he’d be below. He’d never be able to contact you. Never

In a fit of uncontrollable rage and despair, he went on a murder spree. His clean-up getting more and more sloppy until he was cornered and killed by the pack animals that were called the loyal friends of humans

Note: A bit short, but that's all I got. I've seen a lot of Angel!Reader oneshots or headcanons or imagines and had to do one myself. It was fun but a bit short compared to my other ones ╚(″⚈ᴗ⚈)╗

P.S. I have no idea where you guys come from! Thanks for the support!! ( ´•ᗨ•`)っ ♡

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[shaymincafe]

Ask Karma

Okay so since we're dispensing advice into the community for our newer members, I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring with an ask blog etiquette item that I think people have somewhat neglected recently: ask karma.

Ask karma is the practice of sending asks back to people who have sent you one. When someone sends you an ask, it is generally expected that you will send one back in return. It is to your mutual benefit to do this since now not only do both of you have asks in your inbox to work with, but it also exposes your blogs to each others' followers and can potentially gain you new readers.

Ask Calls are a Two-Way Street

Generally speaking, when someone makes an ask call, you should view it as a quid pro quo situation. Unless the person explicitly states in the post otherwise, they usually wants asks back in return for the ones they're sending out. While this is not always the case, like with me where I have way too many asks already and don't need more, more often than not, this is the expectation and it's bad form to not do so.

It's the equivalent of borrowing someone's pencil in school and never giving it back. At the end of the day, it's not super consequential, but the person whose pencil you just took isn't going to be super happy that they gave that to you and got nothing in return. You feel me?

This is especially true for written blogs, who I have noticed tend to get hit by this the most. Written blogs can get through their posts a lot faster than most art blogs and therefore need asks more often. But they also tend to get a lot fewer asks!

I experienced it myself during the PokeAskMagi event where I sent out around 20 asks from @askthewhiterocket and got back 7 in total for the entire event. By comparison, Shaymin Cafe also sent out around 20 asks and got approximately 12 in return. Not a lot more but it's still a better ROI especially consider Shaymin Cafe was the far less active of the two blogs during the event.

Everyone who sent an ask to Ask the White Rocket also sent one to Shaymin Cafe, despite the majority of the blogs I interacted with getting asks from BOTH of my blogs. In addition, during my final ask call for Ask the White Rocket, I got 1 ask in return for like 5 sent out, even after explicitly stating that the inbox was empty and I wanted asks.

I realize Shaymin Cafe is a popular blog and since I had two blogs, people probably ended up just sending an ask to the more popular blog of the two since Shaymes is a fun character and such. But the same thing happened last year when Shaymes wasn't even an active character and I was really only answering asks from Kyo's blog. To be quite frank, that's unfair to the written blogs, and unfair to me too.

It takes time to send asks. Ask hints make it easier, sure, but not everyone has them. Additionally, not all ask hints are incredibly straight forward. Some require you to read a bit in the blog's backlog if you aren't familiar with it to craft an ask that a person can work with (this is why I tend to link stuff with my ask hints). Some people might also want to double check the rules of a blog first or read up on the characters to ensure they're not sending a human character to a blog that doesn't allow them, or a Gengar to a character with trauma from ghost-types without expressed permission from the creator first. This goes doubly so when you're sending asks out from multiple blogs, like I was during the event.

That effort should not go unrewarded, so the least you can do is send an ask in return! It's just good manners.

This also goes for Munday asks

Admittedly, I am pretty bad about this myself, so we're going a little pot calling kettle black, BUT it's generally good form to also send Munday asks back to people who send them to you. Now if they're not open to Munday asks or w/e then no sweat it's fine, but let's be real, we all like to yap. We all like to talk about our characters. We all enjoy answering Munday asks, so spread the love and send asks back to people who send them to you.

Part of the reason I don't really make the effort to send out Munday asks much anymore and part of why I don't open for Munday as frequently either is candidly I got very tired of sending out like a dozen Munday asks to everyone I saw open for Mundays and then getting like... 2 in return. There were a couple weeks back in like July-August were I quite literally got 0 Munday asks, and it was incredibly disheartening. Like, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed coming up with questions for other people, but it was also a total downer to sit there the entire day waiting for asks to come in and then never getting any. Not even one asking how my day was or how my weekend went. Total and complete silence.

And sure, thinking of questions is hard, I get it! You wanna know my secret? When I was sending out Munday asks regularly, I googled first date questions or improv icebreakers. There's so many great questions to ask people from those. Sure, they can be be incredibly shallow and I'm sure any veteran ask blogger whose been at this a while has probably asked and answered whether they like coffee or tea better. But I'd rather answer that ask for like the fourth time than get nothing because then I'd at least get the opportunity to talk about my thoughts on both for a minute.

This also goes quadrupley so for the memes. There are times where I see people reblogging memes and going the whole day without any interaction because they're a smaller blog. And I'll admit, I straight up have sometimes gone on anon and sent them like three asks back to back because I didn't want them to feel like no one cared about them or their characters. They deserve to get a bunch of asks too, that's part of the fun!

And I think with memes the not sending asks in return is far less excusable because usually there's emojis or numbers that you can literally just copy and paste into the ask box. I cannot tell you how many times I saw blogs I'd never met before reblogging a meme post and it took me all of five minutes to go pick a random emoji and a name from their cast page and drop that into their inbox. It is quite literally that easy.

You should also, generally speaking, send an ask to the person you got the meme from too. Whether they were the one who created it or simply just brought it into popularity, sending them an ask for the meme is a nice way to say thank you for letting you use it too. It took time and effort to create and/or find that meme, and I guarantee you they did not do it simply because they wanted other people to use it on their own blogs. They did it so THEY could answer asks from it on their OWN blog. So give them the opportunity to!

FAQ

The blog I want to send an ask to has (insert species of character) and my blog doesn't interact with that (or vice versa).

That's fine! You don't have to send an ask in character if you don't want to. Sure that's the norm, but if the casts of your blogs are incompatible for some reason, then by all means just don't send an in character ask.

The blog I want to send an ask to doesn't have readily available/up to date asks hints.

You have a couple options here. You can read back through the blog to see what has recently happened to get a feel for what might be a good ask. If you're lucky maybe they'll have a taglist somewhere that'll make backtracking easy. But if not, skimming is fine too. Otherwise, just directly DM the blog and ask them what kind of ask they want. I've done this several times and that can be a great way to get a blog exactly what ask their looking for.

The blog I want to send a Munday ask to is doing a meme I don't want to engage with.

Send them a normal question then! I guarantee you they wouldn't be opposed to answering something opposed to the meme, and even if they don't respond, they'll at least know you tried to return their ask.

The blog that sent me an ask said in their ask call they don't want asks in return.

No need to send one back then! If they said they don't want any, then they aren't expecting any in return. I do this all the time! Sometimes we just like sending out asks for fun and that's a-okay!

The blog I want to send an ask to has closed their inbox.

That's okay! In this instance, it is perfectly reasonable to not send an ask in return. If they've closed their inbox, they're likely not expecting asks back. So you're totally in the clear to not send one in return. No need to go crawling through their submission box to send one in (people actually don't usually like this). Just maybe keep an eye out in the future for if their inbox reopens!

Unless they like explicitly made a post asking for asks within like the last day. In that case please tell them because they probably forgot to open it again (happens more often than you think).

The blog I want to send an ask to doesn't have an organization system making their story, characters, hints, and other materials used in ask crafting difficult to find.

In that case, the burden lies with that blog, not you. Organization is EXTREMELY important. Skins covers this a bit in their ask blog advice post. Having easily accessible tag lists, ask hints, and casts pages can really help with getting asks sent your way. In the same way it isn't fair to someone to not send asks in return, it's equally unfair to make someone scroll through a bunch of meme reblogs just find materials to send an ask with.

The best you can do in this situation is message the blog to ask them for what they want. But if the materials to craft the ask aren't readily available to you, that is on them not you.

In short, please exercise Ask Karma. If someone sends you an ask, please send one back! Thank you!

[heazueken]

Hi, I saw you were taking requests ? I just read your vastaya!Jayce fic and it was really really good and since you're open to requests, I wondered, why not try ? If it's alright ?

I just had that thought that... I don't think Jayce ever saw Viktor crying. Crying is often a byproduct of sadness or frustration but also sometimes joy. Or sometimes, it's a "everything is just too much and I need to purge it" and I think Viktor would really benefit from a good cry. I don't know, I just have this really vivid image of Jayce whipping away Viktor's tears with his thumb, or kissing the corner of his eyes and comfort him ?

thanks a lot if you have the time or inspiration to give it a shot but otherwise it's more than fine ! I hope you have a good day !

thank you so much omg! i had a ton of fun writing it if you couldn’t tell lol!

when i read this request i immediately thought you want my dead. reminding me of this, i view viktor as so restrained and someone who bottles up his feelings bc who the hell can he go to? i hope what ive written expresses that and i appreciate you and everyone’s patience for my writing :) i hope you enjoy!

wc; 4.1k

Viktor was a loner. Singed was the first to insinuate the label on a poor child and since then Viktor had accepted that fact.

I’ll never be noticed or remembered. I’ll always be a loner.

Had he been noticed by one of the founding fathers of Piltover? Yes. Was he still looked past in every situation? Yes. Despite being on the taller side he never felt like anyone’s focus, sometimes he felt that way about Heimerdinger— the very man who gave him the wonderful opportunity to be his assistant.

Then Jayce came into his life. This young (one year younger than him) naive, boy who was toying with something much bigger than him had been on the verge of banishment had it not been for his mother to get involved and lessen his sentence to expulsion had been the one to completely turn his entire life around.

He had never been included in anything his whole life. Hearing the words “our Hextech dream” was something completely otherworldly to Viktor. It’s like Jayce had reached into his chest and grabbed ahold of his heart and took it for his very own to keep, and Viktor was happy to do so even in his state of shock.

Their relationship then formed at a rapid pace, they were allowed a lab together and worked side by side and for once Viktor actually felt like he belonged. Being a Zaunite in Piltover was, well, unheard of for the most part, let alone the fact that he was disabled.

And that’s where we are. Viktor has come to a conclusion the more he looks around Piltover and at the very many citizens who happened to be disabled in one way or another. You’d think Viktor and these people were one in the same but you forget one thing—

Viktor is still a Zaunite. Which means he doesn’t get as well of a treatment for his ailments like the rest of the Pilties (he heard the term once when someone from the undercity mistook him for one).

You see, Viktor’s leg had been bothering him, more so than usual and at first it started with his cane. No longer could he take a few steps without it or get up without having to use it as leverage. The thing was practically glued to his hand and it wasn’t working well anymore. Old and rusty the thing was and Viktor had half a mind to make his own because Gods knows no one would make one for him.

Then one day, Jayce came strutting in, decked out in his usual fancy get up. A double breasted button up with his house colors accented on the shoulders and waist. He has a few things in his hand, measuring tape, a metal rod, and a permanent marker. Viktor turns his full body towards Jayce.

“What’s this?”

Jayce smiles and Viktor’s heart flutters momentarily. “Can you stand up for a moment?” They look at each other for a moment, Jayce with a big fat smile plastered across his face and Viktor who stares back at him with a perplexed brow.

“Okay…” He draws out the word and grabs his old cane beside him so he can lift himself off the chair. He uses all his strength, leaning the entirety of his body weight on the cane and Jayce is suddenly rushing in front of him and setting down all his supplies on the table.

“I’m such an ass, here—“ His huge hand wraps around Viktor’s entire arm. For some this would be comforting— big strong man helping you, lifting you and taking care of everything. “Let me help.” But for Viktor this was torture. Since when did he ever make it seem like he couldn’t do a simple thing like get up from a chair? How dare Jayce even think of such a thing. They both know what Viktor is capable of, they both are aware of his resilience and independence. What an insult to his character. He smacks Jayce’s eager hand away and stands up on his two legs with shaky effort.

“I’m not some helpless cripple, Jayce.” He spits with venom and it’s not directed towards someone he would call a best friend but no matter— Viktor directed his own frustration with himself on Jayce. His hand grips the handle of his cane tightly and he grits his teeth, his jaw protrudes with irritation and shame. He looks away from the man in front of him because he knows if he were to face him he’d be met with the saddest pair of puppy eyes he’d ever seen. He shuts his eyes in an attempt to rid of the image but a hand on his shoulder deters him.

God dammit.

An antagonizing gaze, a scolding, Viktor can see it now. Jayce giving up on him because he was too difficult, too weak, too incapable of doing anything himself. The staccato tapping on his food filled the room's deafening silence. The air felt heavy and Viktor’s cheeks slowly warmed up with shame. He finally begins to lift his head to look up at his partner before him.

Jayce looks at him with waxy eyes, there’s a sadness in them and an understanding. But what could he understand about Viktor’s terror, what claws at his spine and the chronic aching of his leg. The feeling of his body decaying, cracking and breaking slowly like a growing tumor of torment.

Viktor tears his eyes away and bites his tongue.

“I’m up now. What are we doing?”

“Right.” Jayce’s voice is tight but there’s an underline of softness. He pauses, afraid to move but slowly goes for the measuring tape he set on their desk and the other can see him out of his peripheral come closer and take a deep breath. “I..uh, can I get some measurements from you?”

Huh?

Viktor’s head snaps to stare up at Jayce. “What? For what?”

Jayce just takes a step closer. “I’ll show you when it’s ready. Please?”

There’s a twist in his stomach and it makes his insides feel like they’re being sucked into a black hole and that makes him dizzy. What exactly was Jayce planning here? He goes to eye the other supplies to piece his thoughts together to come up with what he could possibly be doing but before he could Jayce was already blocking his view.

“It seriously won’t take more than a minute.”

His leg is starting to hurt now and he just wants to sit down and get back to work. He reluctantly slacks his shoulders and motions for Jayce to do what he came in here to. Jayce seems to practically hop with excitement and the clinking sound of the tape measure echos in the room.

Skin on skin wasn’t something Viktor was very familiar with and he didn’t make it much of a habit to be touchy with anyone. Jayce had proved to be quite the opposite and it seemed like all he could do was touch. A hand on the back, the shoulder, hell, he even laid his own hand over Viktor’s once during a frustrating day of experimenting what else the hex crystals were capable of doing. Viktor did not like physical touch.

Yet with Jayce it was a losing battle and he could never admit that at times he actually enjoyed the warmth of his hand and the comfort of someone at least being there with him.

This was not one of those times, however. Viktor—still ashamed with himself for snapping at Jayce— couldn’t handle the proximity of their bodies. Jayce is much too close and his knuckles brush over his ribs as he closely measures his friend's height, then the length of the floor to his shoulder, then from the floor to his armpit. He mumbles to himself and scribbles down the numbers he collected.

Just as quickly as Jayce invaded Viktor’s personal space, he was moving away from him and curtly saying thank you before making his way out of the lab with a haste Viktor had never seen.

He really fucked up.

It had been a couple of days. Viktor had been so consumed by his contrite thoughts that he completely disappeared from the lab. Taking to staying in his room and only leaving at late hours into the night when he knew no one would be around in the halls or streets to notice him. He was good at slipping away, at being alone. It was for the best, really. He’s out of the way, there’s no chance of him getting frustrated towards himself and directing it towards anyone who didn’t deserve to get the sharp end of his abhorrent views of himself.

He missed the lab, though. He missed Jayce if he was being honest with himself but that was a lot harder to face and so he would simply forget the thought even popped up and put it on the back burner of his mind. But that burner grew hotter and slowly began to simmer before turning into a boil and bubbled over him all at once how much he truly had fucked up.

“I owe him an apology at least.” He decides tomorrow morning he’ll go back and properly say his sorry’s.

Just as he was getting ready to settle into bed, there was a knock on his apartment door. He looks at the clock.

11:45PM

There was only one person who knows where he lives and knows he’d still be up. Viktor gathers up his courage with each step towards the front door.

Of course it’s Jayce behind the door, he didn’t even have to question it nor look through the peephole. He slowly opens the door and peeks around the corner of it.

“Jayce?” He says like he’s shocked. Jayce is standing there, looking handsome as ever but he didn’t seem like his usual self. His hair was a bit messy and his five o,clock shadow had grown into a scruff. His eyes were droopy and held evidence of a long sleepless night— or several nights, really. His face seems to lighten when Viktor answers the door, almost like he wasn’t expecting him to even give him the time of day.

“What are you doing here so late?”

“I needed to see you,” He says it frantically and Viktor flinches at the intensity of his tone. It doesn’t go i noticed and Jayce takes a step back in a silent apology. “I wanted to give you something…I’ve been working on it for a bit now.”

He doesn’t know what it is. He doesn’t have the faintest clue, but with him a little further away he feels safe enough to open the door wider and get a good look at the man in front of his doorstep.

Plain white T-shirt, a pair of pajama pants with…is that his family crest on the sides? The get up was in high contrast compared to what he had on his feet— his fancy, brown leather work shoes. Viktor stifles a laugh expertly and glances back up to Jayce who he now notices is holding something behind his back.

He sighs and admits defeat, perhaps moving his apology to tonight would be better. He couldn’t even begin to think of going to sleep with the fictional scenario he’d play and replay over and over again until the sun finally came back up. He had to own up to his own stupidity and immaturity. Viktor widens the door open and steps to the side to let Jayce in. They smirk awkwardly at each other and the younger walks in just as awkwardly. He side steps, his back facing away from Viktor to deter him from seeing the it behind him.

He rolls his eyes but finds himself smiling and feeling the warmth of his beating heart increase. It makes him feel sick and he takes a wobbly step forward, leaning his hand against the wall. He’d forgotten his cane in his bedroom. Jayce stands there unsure to reach out and ask him for help and that terrible knot in his throat grows at the base of his neck and creeps up until it’s in the underside of his jaw.

“Before you show me what you’ve made. I…needed to tell you something.” His hand on the wall turns into a fist and he presses it hard as if to ground himself. He fights the urge to look away from Jayce because good lord he looks scared and Viktor knows he thinks he’s done something wrong.

“It’s nothing you’ve done.” He starts off when Jayce doesn’t respond. His shoulders fall just an inch and he sees the immediate relief wash over his friend before he continues. Viktor can’t fight it, he looks down at his feet. “I wasn’t myself a few days ago. I…I wasn’t feeling well and it brought up some unwanted thoughts and I couldn’t control myself. I snapped at you.”

Silence. He still can’t look at Jayce because that knot in his throat has turned into glass and it shreds down his throat with each difficult swallow and he knows the tears come after that. “You were just trying to help me and I did need help— I wanted the help but I was too embarrassed to take it from you and I directed my own frustration onto you. I’m sorry for that.”

Once more, silence. The air is thick and Viktor wonders if Jayce can feel it. Can feel the struggle to breathe and that terrible churning in his stomach just as he’s feeling now. He’s too scared to look up and to be met with a ridiculing glare and an unforgiving tone. But he hears the wood floor squeak under Jayce’s weight, and he hears it again, and once more.

His head is hung low, his fist is tight and he can feel the nails almost break the skin of his palms. Viktor’s eyes squeeze shut and he braces himself for Jayce to walk right past him and slam the door behind him.

“Hey,” His voice is sweet and warm and it’s much closer, so close that it startles Viktor and draws a gasp from him. His eyes are glassy, still fighting back a few tears but he opens them to look up to see Jayce just inches away from him. A smile grows across his lips, his eyes like a warm drop of honey bear into Viktor’s and there’s a soft, apologetic look across his features.

“You don’t have to apologize. It was out of turn for me to assume you needed help—“

“No!” Viktor exclaims, he opens a palm out as he feverishly speaks, “It’s me who’s wrong! I spoke out of turn and let my anger out on you when you were just trying to help. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you’re capable of doing things yourself, V.” The nickname makes his stomach flip, Jayce doesn’t use it often and it catches him by surprise every time. “I just saw the pain in your face and I wanted to help.”

“I know! And that’s why I’m apologizing, because I smacked you away and..and I was cruel.” He drops his hand and lets it smack against the side of his thigh. Viktor releases a drawn out sigh and lets his shoulders slump. Jayce looks down at him solemnly.

“It wasn’t cruel. But I accept your apology— even though I don’t think you did anything wrong.”

“Well, I hurt you, didn’t I?”

Jayce chuckles. “Maybe a little bit, but I’m fine.”

They stand silently again, Viktor finally letting his hand rest spread out on the wall. His leg was beginning to hurt now and sitting all his weight on one hip was beginning to pinch a nerve. He looks back to Jayce who’s still standing there with his hands behind his back.

“Have a seat and show me what you made already.”

Jayce’s expression changes into one of worry and Viktor swears he can see a bead of sweat on his forehead.

“R-right! Uh, let’s have a seat.” He lets Viktor lead the way. He had never been in Viktor’s apartment very much, he mostly strictly stood at the threshold and spoke to his partner there before leaving. Never had he taken a step inside and taken in the homely atmosphere Viktor had curated. It was so very Viktor, with the likes of books and endless shelves of academic publications printed out and bound in thick leather. Or the many notes strewn about with at least one pen or pencil resting on any surface. He noticed a small toy boat on display in his living room and he has the urge to ask him about it, or the drawing of what seemed to be a mechanical golem resting on his coffee table in front of his worn loveseat.

Before he can even ask, Viktor is reaching down and crumpling it and tosses it into a bin. They sit side by side on the small couch and Jayce feels his cheeks blush when Viktor indicates for him to show off already.

“Okay, uh, could you…look away for a moment?”

Viktor raises an eyebrow and purses his lips. “I’m sorry?”

“I want it to be a surprise…just indulge me…please?” Jayce attempts to bat his eyelashes and Viktor laughs at the clumsy way he can’t seem to find the momentum to bat them quickly. He obliges and places his hands over his eyes, he shuts his lids for good measure.

“No peeking, got it?” Jayce almost giggles.

“I would do no such thing.” He would.

Jayce brings the gift out from behind him, he’s shocked that he was able to hide it this long, he was sure Viktor would figure it out by now but he’s pleased to know his lab partner is oblivious to the fact that he had spent a week perfecting what he hoped Viktor would appreciate.

There’s cool metal on the palms Jayce told Viktor to face upward in his lap and it shocks him before he’s slowly wrapping his fingers around the material. He slowly opens his eyes, aware too much of Jayce’s intense gaze, there’s concern and hope and fear in his eyes and Viktor finally looks down at what’s been placed in his lap.

His eyes run across cool, steel metal with accents of red, white trimming of metal brings the piece together and his hand finds the first handle of what is a brand new cane sitting across his legs.

The handle is red and it looks to be the perfect length and width to fit into his hand. There are indents shaped just for his fingers and it’s made with cushioned leather. Viktor stares in awe of the expert work of the shape. His eyes follow up the cane to the top handle, it's curved and made with the same leather. On the tip of it is a circle framed with metal and what looks to be Jayce’s family crest. His eyes glide back down it, finding the same sigil on the side of the cane.

He’s speechless. Utterly incapable of saying a single word, let alone form a sentence. Jayce had taken the time and effort to actually make this for him. He thought his chronic pain hadn’t been so obvious— at least it wasn’t to literally everyone else who knew him or were acquainted with him. He never had been perceived so closely, so intimately and it aches in his heart the realization that Jayce had clearly seen Viktor this whole time.

He was no longer alone and Jayce had seen the inner workings of his pain. Perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised, they were together every single day and they were coming up on five years of working together.

Viktor’s ribs were a broken cage and released his emotions freely. The dam that held back his tears broke and out came a flood. His vision immediately becomes blurry and his hands tremble with the cane rattling gently in them.

“I…What…Why did you do this?” His voice is shaky and he bites his tongue to stop himself from speaking. He sounds so pathetic and small. “This is for me?”

Jayce gently reaches his hand over and places an index finger on the top handle.

“This is for support under your armpit and this—“ He points to the next handle. “Is for your hand to grasp onto. I saw the way you had been leaning lately and I could see the pain it was causing for you…I wanted to try and make something to help with that…”

He’s too sweet. Much too sweet to be in the presence of Viktor— someone who couldn’t fathom why he deserved such a thoughtful and well crafted piece of metalwork. He spent his free time on this, he worked on this by hand, by himself, for a week. He thinks back to the strange measurements Jayce had asked of him. How he tried to be slick and looking back he was because Viktor was too busy with his maintenance on the Hexgates to really consider why the hell Jayce needed to know how long and wide Viktor’s hand was or how he liked to hold his cane and how heavily he leaned onto it for support.

Viktor still couldn’t find the words. He barely even notices he’s crying until he sees a tear land on the metal and he’s immediately turning away from Jayce and swiping the rivers running down his face. He knows he looks pathetic like this and he never once wanted anyone to see him cry, let alone Jayce of all people.

“Thank you…truly,” He says with a shaky breath, his voice cracking around the lump in his esophagus. He covers his mouth, still turned away from Jayce.

“You didn’t have to…”

Warmth spreads across Viktor’s hand, he feels Jayce’s calloused fingers against his skin and it doesn’t help the flow of falling tears. His eyes screw shut but it’s not enough to hold them back and he barely registers another hand reaching out and Jayce’s thumb swiping across his cheek gently.

“Viktor,” He speaks gently, saying his name with relief and a sweetness that made Viktor’s teeth ache. Hearing his name come out so gently is too overwhelming and he shakes his head. “Hey, What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

Yes. Yes! You saw me and for the first time I’m feeling like I’m someone important!

His mouth parts to speak and it’s dry, his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth as he attempts to form a sentence.

“No…no…you did a wonderful thing, I'm just…I’m embarrassed.” Jayce wipes away another tear that escaped and ran down to his lip. He captures it and rubs it away on the edge of his lips and they both a shock in the touch of his fingertips. They say nothing about it.

“Why?” Jayce asks simply.

“Crying…”

“You’ve seen me cry. How is this any different?”

Viktor’s glassy eyes look up into Jayce’s and this time he’s able to hold his gaze.

“I’m not meant to be comforted.” He says it so plainly like it’s a fact and Jayce feels his heart throb in pain. How his partner could ever think such a thing about himself he has no idea but he’ll do anything to change his mind.

“You are,” He lets his hand cup Viktor’s cheek and he watches the way his lashes flutter closed and he leans into the touch. “Don’t ever say that. You deserve…everything, Viktor.”

They sit like that for a while, Viktor unsure of what to say next and instead basks in the comfort of Jayce’s touch and Jayce who watches the tears slowly dry and leave streaks on his cheeks. It isn’t until he pulls his hand away does Viktor look back down at the cane in his lap. He turns it in his hands gently and runs his finger over the family sigil.

“The Talis hammer…a bit egotistical, don’t you think?” He huffs a laugh and Jayce is equally amused, his cheeks grow red and he slides his hand across the side of his neck as he lets out a breathy laugh.

“Yeah, well, habit I guess…” He leans in a little close. “You really do like it, though?”

Viktor, now smiling down at the cane, nods. “Yeah, I do. Looking at it might make me cry again.”

“Well, let me take care of that then.” Jayce’s thumb runs across one of Viktor’s cheeks affectionately and for a second they forget they’re just friends and revel in the comfort of one another.

[boyfridged]

tumblr might’ve eaten my ask in the process of submitting it so i want to send it again just in case but i loved burning money! it was so so so good! something that was interesting to me was mai (and the others’) disgruntlement with the foundation—which makes sense, big corporation encroaching on small community—but it’s the first time i’ve really seen a stance like that in fics? so i was curious about your thoughts on it! mostly because the foundation is usually depicted as doing good and nothing else, which isn’t true, of course, there is more depth to it, and i really liked and thought your depiction was interesting (even if it was intended to be a one-off thing) so i wanted to ask you about it :) if you don’t mind!

it seems it did eat it, so i'm glad you sent it again!

i absolutely do not mind, and i am happy to elaborate on that -- not only in the context of the fanfic, but also in terms what i think of the canon and fanon depiction of the work of the wayne foundation, and bruce's philanthropy.

that scene in burning money is, after all, symptomatic of my own politics. but as i always say, there was also a time when dc attempted to take in-world politics seriously -- leslie is a sign of that! so i do not see why i should not, given batman is an inherently political text, more so than most superhero comics (where the power fantasy elements are not as pronounced in their relation to class and the category of crime). and batman is just impossible to read without a consideration for these elements of discourse.

the love that contemporary comics (and i do think it's much more emphasised nowadays; the editorial seems to feel a need to continuously justify bruce, and there is not an ounce of modesty in how charity is portrayed) and fanon have for the foundation is something i find perturbing; the excitement regarding it even in the more progressive fandom spaces, the willingness to indulge this narrative of saviourism is really hard to ignore. and that is a narrative i have little patience for -- i, personally, like bruce as a multi-dimensional character, his flaws included. and that does not exclude keeping in mind that he is in a position of power.

the wayne foundation is not a grassroots organisation; and as such it is bound to have it's problems at the very core of its mission. the main issue is that it has a huge potential to become an instrument of biopower; that is to say, that people in charge get to say what sort of help the area will 'benefit' from most; and that is often a calculated choice that has little to do with the existing structures and even simply the wishes of people in question. while not directly related to the foundation, this is also something that i wanted to come across in the paragraph about the plan to make the crime alley into the entertainment district (btw, my rundown of the history of east end is by no means a canon one; i took different elements and mentions from comics and even adaptations into it, since it all remains vague otherwise). even when providing the people with a new (albeit limited; there was another bit that i ended up cutting out, about crystal being a nurse and the foundation putting a lot of money into nurse training programmes, since it is productive) range of opportunities, what it often leads to is yanking the populace around according to their latest charitable ideas, rather than providing long-time support.

here is also another thing to consider, that being -- no matter bruce's best intentions, he also cannot control everything that goes on in the foundation (which again, he should not -- but that also means that his 'stellar morals' will not save it from corruption and even just administrative troubles -- like the 'queues' that arlo mentions in burning money).

and about the scene you bring up in particular -- i want to say that this principled (!) reluctance to engage with the foundation it is not supposed to reflect the attitude of the community as a whole, but some part of it. mai, especially, has a personal connection to willis (and jason); this is very much a matter of pride and resentment regarding jason's death.

i have another wip with a scene of a somewhat similar, if not more open, conversation -- that one starring benny harlowe, who mentions that after jason's death the foundation seems to have doubled down in their efforts to 'fix' the alley (a trope somewhat popular in fanon, along with catherine todd/jason todd foundations), and he says: "The whole time I was thinking, why now? What was it, our boy’s trust fund? They murder our kid and then come back with a check?"

while I do not (obv) think the whole crime alley knew Jason (neither as jason nor robin; canon does not give us much reason to think that bruce would approve of robin-era jay venturing into the alley), nor do I subscribe to modern-era exaggeration of bruce's celebrity status, I do think most people in east end would hear about a billionaire adopting a child off the streets and the child dying not that long after; and there is surely some bitterness and distrust to come with that knowledge. is this what they are -- disposable charity cases? this is, needless to say, not true to bruce's feelings -- but what does it matter? there is little dignity to be found in this whole situation (with the system) to begin with.

this got ridiculously long... sorry about that! and thank you for reading!

[intheholler]

On Appalachian and Southern Stereotypes

After seeing some people leap at the opportunity to insult and further harm us under my posts, even by obviously leftist accounts, I wanted to address some of the most popular stereotypes of our region.

Not as an excuse. There are many negative, violent and otherwise harmful features of the American South. We have a horrific history especially in terms of the violence we inflicted and continue to inflict upon the Black community that cannot be forgotten, and, as a culture, we do need to pay our dues.

But maybe this will help y’all apply some nuance to the situation and understand that we aren’t all your enemy.

Stereotype 1: Everyone is a Republican Racist

Absolute horse shit, my friends. There are people like me all over the south and in the hollers. We just get drowned out by the fascists, and it is all by design. 

In my home state of North Carolina alone, they are working tirelessly to make it impossible for young, often liberal (if not outright leftist) voices to be heard. They specifically target regions with heavy POC populations.

As recently as May of this year, the North Carolina Supreme Court overturned their own previous ruling which once made gerrymandering illegal. This allows Republicans free range to draw their congressional lines wherever benefits them most. 

Meanwhile, Roy Cooper, our Democratic governor, has been in office since 2017.

Gerrymandering is a real problem, and it reflects the worst of us. But it does not reflect all of us.

We are a working class, pro-union people.

We are coal miners and mill workers and farmers.

We took up arms against the government and fought for our labor rights during the Coal Wars as recently as the 1920s.

We bled for labor rights at the Battle of Blair Mountain.

It’s a myth that you keep perpetuating that we are all closed minded, bigoted regressionists. It diminishes the efforts of everyone from the coal miners to people like me while we try to make the region a better place.

It actually only worsens what you say that you wish you could “saw off into the ocean.” 

That's my home you're talking about.

Stereotype 2: Everyone is Obese

36.3% of the overall population of the Southeast is obese. This is true.

Have you considered why that may be? For starters, Southerners are more likely to be uninsured compared to individuals living in the rest of the country.

"Among the total nonelderly population, 15% of individuals in the South are uninsured compared to 10% of individuals in the rest of the country."

Partially because they didn't even expand the same Medicaid benefits to us. and partially because we are just so fucking poor. 

17% of the American South is below the poverty line, compared to 13% in the Midwest, 13% in the West, and 13% in the Northeast.

Percentages under 5% may not seem like much, but when you consider 1% of the total United States population is around 3,140,000 people, yeah, that adds up real quick.

How does this relate? Well...

Mississippi has 19.58% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 39.1% obesity rate.

West Virginia has 17.10% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 40.6 % obesity rate.

Kentucky has 16.61% of its residents below the poverty line, and a 40.4% obesity rate.

Are you seeing the trend?

We, generally speaking, are more likely to be unable to afford to feed ourselves wholesome foods, and we are less likely to be able to afford medical insurance--two things that are obviously important to maintaing good health and a "healthy" weight.

By the same token... 

Stereotype #3: We're All Uneducated 

The South and Appalachia are some of the lowest ranked in terms of educational funding and spending per pupil in the entire country. We don't even break the top 30 on the list, y'all.

49. Tennessee at $8,324 per pupil 47. Mississippi at $8,919 per pupil 45. Alabama at $9,636 per pupil 42. Kentucky at $10,010 per pupil 36. North Carolina at $10,613 per pupil 35. South Carolina at  $10,719 per pupil 33. Georgia at $10,893 per pupil 32. West Virginia at $10,984 per pupil

The top three best-funded states, by comparison, receive between $18k and $20k per pupil.

In terms of higher education, student loans are a death sentence for everyone but especially impoverished kids just looking for a way out. It just isn't feasible for most of us. And that's if we even tested well after going to shitty schools our whole lives. If we had better education, we'd have better literacy in all things, including critical thinking, allowing us to better see through the bullshit we are taught. But we don't. And you aren't helping the ones who are trying in spite of that.

Stereotype 4: Bad Teeth

Quickly going to touch on this one--when we consider a lack of access to affordable, healthy food, shitty medical insurance in general and our poverty rate, this one is kind of obvious. Even so:

“Dental coverage was significantly lower than the national average in the South Atlantic (45.6%), East South Central (45.6%), West South Central (45.9%), and Pacific (48.0%) regions.”

Every time you make a toothless hillbilly joke, ask if poverty is really the butt of the joke you want to be making.

These are just the most pervasive of them, imo. And they can all be underlined by extreme poverty which is absolutely by design.

It also contributes to why it isn’t so easy to “just leave” as we are so often dismissively told to do. Moving is expensive.

And why should we have to, anyway? Why should we have to flee our homes?

Why, for those who feel safe enough and/or have no other choice, should we not stay and fight to better the region?

And why can’t you other leftists get behind us and help us in our fight instead of perpetuating harmful stereotypes? We're your people, too.

Just some food for thought. And I hope some of y’all take a big ol bite.