#it feels like christmas or my birthday
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gmm is back in 4K, who cheered!!!
(x)
#rhett and link#good mythical morning#good mythical summer#AHHHH#so happy they're back#and in high quality???#they're even prettier#i'm gonna be insufferable#wow#also Stevie calling them boys again#it feels like christmas or my birthday#lol#i don't even know if tumblr can handle 4k screenshots but whatever lol#my post
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I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.
If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.
Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.
Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.
Tim :
Dick :
Tim : My room is normal sized…
Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-
Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.
Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.
Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.
Jason :
Dick :
Jason : Do you want to-
Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.
#batfam#batman#dc comics#dcu#jason todd#comics#dick grayson#batbros#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#headcanon#i have a friend who is super mega rich and has a butler and shit#and she just couldn’t comprehend that I didn’t have an allowance as a kid#and that i had to wait for my birthday or christmas to get stuff#she’s one of my favorite people but she really has no concept of money#it’s really funny tbh#i feel like that’s how tim is. just wouldn’t get it#not damian though. he just doesn’t give a shit.#he’d just steal whatever he wanted tbh
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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The classic outfit is coming with the Lake House DLC for Deluxe Edition owners! Massive layers of clothes and elbow patches will get a comeback! I'm so excited about this. I love the brown suit, but less formal Alan with long hair and beard? Oh my lord
#alan wake 2#alan wake#remedy entertainment#lake house#Lake house DLC#This feels like birthday and Christmas on the same day. And my bday already is in December.
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what do we think?
#sometimes i feel like i shouldn't be allowed to have access to editing software#today is no such day#so... christmas/birthday present for myself?#dan and phil#phan#no but seriously imagine it#nbsii#dnp#mcr#my chemical romance#fob#fall out boy#tumblr
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#gif#why do I have to spend every christmas and every birthday alone#for what am I being punished#I am a good person#and I don’t think this suffering has any sense#it’s just that in life the happy people have good things coming their way#and the sad people always just get more trauma#I know I could have a relationship if I didn’t have such a traumatic childhood#my trauma lets me reject the good guys and waste my time with the aholes#but i don’t know what to do about it#every nice guy I met absolutely wasn’t attractive to me#and we also didn’t have anything in common#so I’m not even regretting rejecting them cause it wouldn’t have worked out#and they deserve someone who actually fancies them#i just wonder why I never met a nice guy that I have common interests with#or who matched my preferences lookwise#it really feels like I’m simply not allowed to ever meet the right person#and gotten to the point where I swipe for hours have a lot of matches and then ghost everyone#as I just know it either will be someone nice but not attractive to me or an ahole#I just don’t have any energy left anymore#I just want to experience love so bad but can’t do these dates anymore#I’m so so tired
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its 4am, my entire body aches something severe and i cannot sleep because of it, and i cannot tell if this is just because of the cold or something when i have heating pads and arson or if i possibly caught something sickly while air traveling two days ago
the entire skeleton feels like it's achey but oh my god my lower back and legs
#it feels like a slightly less intensive version of when i had covid that took away my ability to walk for a while#which makes me think if its something sickly then it could be a cold or flu and ill be fine in a week prob#or shorter which i can handle#i can be sick for christmas but if im sick for friend birthday im showing up in a hazmat suit LKGDGDSLG#sara shush#medical
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"Caught between hope and grief is a hard place to be"
#i needed this game so much#today is the birthday of a friend who passed#im having such a hard time with my mother's most-likely-cancer that's eating away at her#im so afraid we caught it too late#if i hadnt cussed her out on christmas to let me take her to the fucking hospital#now im across the country and shes lost another 10 lbs#and im begging aomething#some higher power to keep her around just a little longer so we can find a way to help#but if she doesnt eat she doesnt have the physical strength for chemo#im just at home waiting for my partner to come over#if i cry in the shower i wont have to feel my tears#im struggling just like#with the regret of not coming home sooner and seeing her condition and intervening sooner#today is just one of those days
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Why does everything always end on christmas day? Always the last part of every dear thing. Why do we want people crying on christmas day?
#Epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga#Bbc merlin#Merlin#Its my birthday too then and I know ill end up feeling like ive been ran over by a truck after ithaca saga#I just know it will break my heart hoydl#That said Im so exciteddddd#Jffyydisåwåflkgkgngnrl#Tbf its so poetic or smth that it all started on christmas and end on christmas#Raaaahhhhhhhhh
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How fortunate am I to have so many Things to love and be excited about, to appreciate and look forward to?
Things I feel so strongly about that they stumble into my mind, univited, at random times of the day? Things that spill into my speech and vocabulary without me noticing? Things that impact my vision to the point where everywhere I look, everywhere I go, I see ghosts of them?
How lucky am I to have so many Things I love and cherish enough for them to reshape my very person, change my beliefs and make me grow? Things that make my own loved ones see the Things out in the wild, and go out of their way to make sure I see them too?
How wonderful is it that I have Things that I love so much that the very act is deemed and dubbed "not normal", making my love for them seem like it's more than they are supposed to recieve? An out-of-the-ordinary and above-the-norm appreciation for the Things that make the people around me shake their heads, call me "silly".
My dear, beloved Things, may I always stay silly for you ❤️
#yes this is yet another post about legendborn lmao#but also one of my friends sent me a post with a reminder to log into Genshin today#just to get the birthday-greeting card for one of my/my favorite character#and they send me this because even though it's my favorite character#this person also knows I don't actually play genshin that much and knows that I would probably miss it if they didn't remind me 🥺🥺#and my friends let me yap about Legendborn the other day lol#and my fellow legendbornian-in-crime commented on my insta story about annotating the book that “noone loves this series more than you”#which ofc isn't *TRUE* true but it still made me feel all fuzzy lol#my parents also got me a few sets of silver earrings for christmas bcs I mentioned in passing I wanted more silver jewelry#and one of the pairs they got me was with owls because Owl City has been one of my favorite artists since forever#and I THRIVED in 2012-fashion bcs the owl jewelry was fkn EVERYWHERE and I got SO MANY because it made me think of Owl City lol#and my brother got me The Book Of Bill bcs both he and I love Gravity Falls SO MUCH#I just love ✨️ loving ✨️ things I guess#so this post is very much a love letter to my special interests and hyperfixations <333#currently have had 'Tears Run Dry' by Patrik Jean on repeat for the past 2 or so days bcs it's fkn STUNNING#but it also makes me think about my friend's ArleFuri fic bcs it just fits so welll 😭😭#and at the same time (and the reason I have it so within reach lol) is bcs I have added it to an OC's playlist for a story I'm writing#I have so damn many things I love and I almost start crying thinking about how fortunate I am to have all these things I love so dearly#and live in a time where all of these things exist and I get to experience them all at a moment's notice#and just simply get to indulge in fandom behaviour and have people around me who also LET ME do that#i love hearing people yap about what they're passionate about regardless if I know what it is or not#like how beautiful isnt it to see someone's eyes sparkle and looking like they're itching all over because they simply can't help it#they just can't contain their love and passion for the Thing ??? absolutely incredible#tove rambles#oh and don't fkn get me started on how 'Dream Catcher' by Set It Off basically is the reason I'm so determined to become one#and it being part of how I made my 17-year old self believe I could actually do what I CURRENTLY DO nearly 10 years later
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much love to the (multiple) mutuals i’ve seen agony posting on this fine new year’s day my heart is with you all in spirit 🎉🎉 the pain is incredible but this too will change
#i think i got through all my own angst after having a full on melt down spiraling panic attack and hiding in my room for approximately#92% of christmas day 👍#sucked ass btw. do not recommend#i hate this time of year and all these (northern hemisphere) winter holidays in particular#because it always feels like there’s So Many expectations to Be Happy!! Love Your Family!!! Become A Fresh New You!!!!!#which ime never fucking works. sorry for being a bitch but the harder you push me to get into#The Christmas Spirit the grouchier and more depressed i get#you don’t have to change everything Right Now. you don’t have to fix yourself by the end of january#you have a lifetime to figure that shit out and it’s your goddamn right to spend that time on your own goddamn terms#i appreciate all of you 🫶#and i like having you around#sigh. 1 am somewhat incoherency pardon if i’m making little sense#i think i’m just over trying to find the One True Solution that will fix me and make me a perfect new person#that never has any conflict with anyone and never does embarrassing shit i’m ashamed of or fucks up by not being an#omniscient emotionless robot#i’ll hold onto the smaller goals if only because ‘it’s good to have things to look forward to’#etc. etc.#but. that’s it and only barely#really i just hope my birthday isn’t as utterly dogshit as last year but :]#we’ll fucking see#i should probably just block every tag i can think of related to american politics that day tbh#sigh. horrors of a january 20th birthday#anywho.#there’s my new years rant happy 2025 or whatever let’s see how long it takes me to remember to write the new date#storm tag#broadcasts from the astronaut
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my mom constantly complains that i'm really hard to buy presents for and it's like......am i though. am i really. i don't think i am... i think if she paid literally any attention to me/the things i like it'd be really easy, actually. but what do i know man...
#last year my christmas/birthday present was an ASOIAF book set. when ive never expressed any interest in it.#and in fact i really cannot consume ASOIAF because *nc*st is one of my massive no-gos and just knowing it's in there grosses me out#me and a friend did sleuthing and found out it was just. on sale. like a solid $20 off. so she probably just bought it bc of that#idk gifts are like one of my LoVe LaNgUaGeS because im really bad at expressing how i feel verbally#like it's very uncomfortable for me. so i put a lot of effort into gifts instead. (and also like physical affection/acts of service/etc)#and when other people dont do that in return im just like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whyyyyyyyyyy#makes me feel kinda icky. like u cant pay attention to the things i like? even when im directly rambling to u about them??#anyways.#txt#we r going to kohls to return the presents she got me that i admittedly did not like#im gnna just ask her how much it was & maybe see if she can pay for an art commission for me instead akhfsdjkf#she said next yr i can just pick out what i want instead#and im like YAYY YIPPEEEE YAHOOOO <- someone who is sick of this whole thing
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it’s december! :) it’s december :(
#never know how to feel around this time…#because one minute i’m like yay it’s my birthday month! but i’m always sad when christmas day finally comes around
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merry christmas gunkbabynation! <3
my dad got me morrissey cutout.
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#(amount other things)#I will post pictures of the shuu plushie in his Christmas outfit later i think!#Idk whether to post the Christmas gift spread - it always feels like bragging!#Hope everyone has a good day. I don’t really celebrate. I just see my dad and go for a walk with my dog. Then the rest of the day alone :)#Happy Birthday Jesus Christ thanks for taking my sins or whatevs luv u babe xxx#gunk#Christmas gunk#festive#mhm#Third gunkbaby christmas - how joyous an occaision
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irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris
what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris
which could mean nothing
#just making guesses chatting shit talking bollocks you know how it is#if anyone can debunk that first thing pls tell me!#feel like i'm wearing a tinfoil hat and it doesn't vibe with my outfits if y'know what i mean#feel like i should do a timeline but every time i try it gets out of hand#ok have some very messy puzzle piecing:#liam & noel texting/calling from time to time since jan 2020#noel splits w sara spring 2022 starts spending more time in manchester#maybe march mothers day something happened?? possibly liam & noel met up in april??? that's pure speculation though#pretty boy released oct 31 2022 noel stops wearing wedding ring#noel spends christmas in england for the first time in ages#liam listens to the smiths all christmas eve. on christmas he has a party for close friends and family (including bod)#liam and debbie go to france for the new year to house hunt#liam claims on twitter (no one believes him) that noel is with him on new years day#(((he posts a selfie that i uhhh got very tinhatty about.. don't worry about it)))#noel goes to a football game on jan 5 and he is in a very good mood#divorce news jan 14. liam's divorce playlist jan 15. allegedly out drinking together jan 16. noel does promo for new single jan 17#jan 18th liam claims on twitter noel wants to meet up#peggy's 80th birthday end of jan#liam's hip surgery beginning of feb#feb 6th he claims noel's “coming over later to wipe my arse and change the bedding he's a good lad really”#starts slagging noel off for real again in early march (he'd been “nice” since november's pretty boy promo)#news that he bought a house in france#noel does a bunch of promo at the end of march (when the 3rd single came out) some of which didnt air until june when the album came out#there's one interview where he seems very tired and hungover and he blabs about paris for ages#end of march is the 1st time he tells liam to call him. 2 months later he asks (goads) liam again a bunch of times#anyway i probably forgot some liam tweets from jan/feb and i really haven't looked into 2022 or 2021 yet#but yeah it's pretty clear they were hanging out 👁️👁️ jan 2023 and then things soured by march after liam's surgery#(((kinda wonder if noel ghosted him and then was too scared to call))) ←wondering that bc it's exactly what i would've done :/#the christmas eve/day stuff probably means nothing btw but well i'm feeling insane about the new years stuff don't even worry about it
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Ok I don't think it's unreasonable to refuse to visit my parents if they're not going to hang out with me,, right?? RIGHT?? Like I shouldn't be expected to drive 2 hours there and back to sit around their house and beg like a damn puppy for crumbs of their attention like I did when I was a kid, especially when I have a whole ass apartment and cat and schoolwork to take care of at home.
"am I going to see you this weekend?"
"I wasn't planning on it. I can fit it in if I'm not just going to be sitting around your house all day though"
"I'm not going to entertain you!! 😝"
Ok well, I'm a guest now since you turned my old bedroom into your hoarding closet I mean sewing den mb,,. idk sounds like bad host manners to me. 🤷
#Like I love my mom I really do#I hate her sometimes too but MOSTLY mostly I just pity her#I forgave her a long time ago and she's done a lot of work and healing to make sure our relationship has been relatively stable#Not enough tho obviously lol#Anyway I'm willing to hangout with her fr!! I would come over and do stuff with her no problem!! I would even enjoy it#But I'm not!! I'm not going to go home so I can relive my childhood emotional neglect trauma for 6 hours !!#Just so she can feel less lonely while she sits and plays games on her iPad!!#Especially when I don't even have my own space to retreat to when I get frustrated being ignored for the 15th time in a row!!#There's a reason I spent Christmas and my birthday alone
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