#every nice guy I met absolutely wasn’t attractive to me

[larapaulussen]

[no-144444]

chancer- o.piastri

Day 31 of fic-tober! fic-tober masterlist

summary: Can he figure out who you are at the masquerade ball before you leave forever?

a/n: thank you everyone for reading these stories over the last month! this has been so fun and i've loved getting to write everyday!

ps, these were the costumes i had in mind (plus random masquerade masks):

you: oscar:

(both from pinterest!)

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Oscar knew he wasn’t the first person anyone would choose to go to a party with. He was awkward, quiet, unknown, and uninterested in getting to know new people. He had his friend group; Logan, Lando, Alex, Charles, George, Daniel, Pierre, Arthur, Liam, and himself. He was happy just talking with his friends. He wasn’t looking for more, and he didn’t want to entertain small talk more than he already had to with his job.

“What if you meet someone there?” Alex had wondered out loud, trying to persuade him to go. He was the only girlfriend-less guy in the group. Alex knew he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. He knew, because every single week one of their girlfriends would text him about ‘a friend that was really interested’ and every time he’d say no. He wasn’t looking for a hook-up (mostly because he didn’t believe in hook-up culture, not being into having sex with someone without knowing them), and he didn’t want to lead someone on. Objectively, yes, he knew he was an attractive man. He was a fucking racecar driver who was paid to take care of his body. He was paid to model clothes and go to nice events. He was paid to drive a fast car, on track and off it. Could he probably put more effort into his look? Absolutely. He didn’t even own a hairbrush, and he wasn’t going to start anytime soon. 

Yet there he stood, pirate costume on (complete with a masquerade mask, as to keep with the theme of the party), walking into the biggest house he’d seen in a while, with a bubbly sense of anxiety in his stomach. Logan was walking beside him, talking to Liam about something or other. 

“You’re nervous,” Arthur teased. Oscar rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t want to be here,” he sighed as he got handed a drink. 

“Why not? Have a bit of fun!”

“Fun to you, is drinking and making out with your girlfriend in the corner of a party. Fun for me, is going home and sleeping,” Oscar took a swig o f his drink, it burned as it went down his throat. 

“We should’ve invited Hattie instead,” he scoffed. Hattie and Arthur had become friends during Oscar’s overlapping time in F2 with Arthur. Hattie was always the more outgoing sibling, and Oscar wouldn’t have blamed them for inviting her instead of him. He could’ve at least gone home and slept. 

“Oscar!” Fernando cheered, resting an arm over his shoulders. “You came!” 

Ah, this was Fernando’s party. Of course. 

“Of course I did,” he smiled. Fernando had always been kind to him, especially in his time in Alpine. 

“I have someone I want you to meet,” he whispered. “It’s a girl…” Oscar rolled his eyes. “Is everyone trying to set me up with someone tonight?” 

“Maybe, I know I am,” he laughed. “Follow me.” 

Oscar dutifully followed behind Fernando, being brought further into the party. It was going to be impossible to find any of his friends again, so he sent the group chat a quick text to meet him at the front door in 1 hour, as that would be when he would be leaving. He was met with sad and angry emojis, but he didn’t care. The host had seen him, and he had a weekend's worth of sleep to get.   

“This is-” Fernando was too quiet to be heard over all the shouting and singing. But in front of both of them stood you. You were dressed as a mermaid. What a pair you two made. 

Oscar’s mouth literally fell open. You were gorgeous, the costume showing a great deal of skin and he was not complaining. What really drew him in was the bright smile on your lips as Fernando spoke (he had tuned everything else out) and the way you nodded along. 

“So, I’m sure you’ll get acquainted!” Fernando announced just in time for Oscar to close his jaw and stop drooling. Then your attention turned on him. 

“I think him telling me who you are defeats the purpose of the masks, right?” you chuckled. He chuckled. 

He was a goner. 

“You’re right,” he smiled. “I’m Oscar.”

“I know,” you bit your lip, smiling brightly. “He told me, remember?”

He internally kicked himself. “Of course, yeah. Sorry.” 

“No need to be sorry,” you shouted over the music. “It’s a little loud in here, want to go somewhere quieter?”

He nodded. “Yeah!” 

You took his hand and led him out to the garden, which was still full of drunk people. You brought him further, him following diligently. You brought him to the edge of the forest at the back of the house. “You trust me?”

He nodded, trusting you implicitly. You led him further, into the forest, until you made it to a treehouse. 

You helped him up (despite being in a skirt), and there you two sat for a moment, just enjoying the quiet. 

“What do you like to do?” you asked, out of the blue. 

“I like to drive-”

“Other than of driving,” you giggled. 

He smiled. “Well, I like to sleep, I like to play video games, I like watching movies, I like baking-”

“Baking?” you questioned. 

“Yeah, baking,” he nodded. 

You looked at him sceptically. “Explain.”

He chuckled. “Well, my mum and my grandma used to make me sit with them in the kitchen to learn how to bake, and when I was a kid, I fucking hated it. Now that I’m older, I love it. It’s so relaxing.”

“You learn something new everyday,” you smiled. 

“What about you?”

“Well, I like to read, I like to cook, I like hanging out with my friends and family, I like writing-”

“What do you write about?” he asked.   

You smiled cheekily, he could see the way your eyes crinkled, just slightly. It made him smile. 

“You chancer, I don’t know if I can tell a random stranger that…” you shook your head. “I’ll need to get to know you better.”

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So, there you two sat, talking about your lives, enjoying each other's company, and just having fun. The hour he was supposed to spend had long since passed, and he had silenced his phone the second you had started talking about your life. He didn’t see the messages from his friends about leaving, he didn’t see the missed calls from them, wondering if he was alright. He didn’t want to either. 

You ended up with your head on his shoulder as the topic of love somehow came up. 

“Have you ever been in love?” you asked, curious about his experience. 

“I don’t think so,” he answered, mildly confused. 

“So, no then.” 

He chuckled. “No, then. You?”

You shook your head. “Nope. But I do love racing.”

“You race?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “MotoGP.” 

“That’s awesome,” he praised. 

You looked into his eyes, the majority of his face covered by the mask. “I want to kiss you right now,” you admitted, your voice low. 

He gulped. “I want to kiss you right now.” 

You smiled cheekily again. “What’s stopping you?” 

And that was that. He kissed you.

His hands found space on your hips and held you against him, feeling the sparks between you two like a fuckign fire. He wanted so much more than just one kiss. Your lips against his was like the perfect symphony, your hands on his body the greatest touch, his hands on your skin like the softest connection. 

“Oscar,” you moaned against his lips as he bit down on your bottom lip, his tongue fighting yours. 

The loud bang of fireworks pulled you both apart. You both gasped, pulled away abruptly, then laughed as your adrenaline calmed down. 

“That was…” he started. 

“Wow,” you finished. 

He chuckled. “Wow,” he agreed. 

You checked your phone, wondering the time. “Shit!” you cursed. “I have to go, it was awesome meeting you, my friends-”

“Can I get your number?” he asked, rushing after you. 

“I think that defeats the purpose of the night Oscar,” you chuckled. 

“I-I don’t even know your name!” he stressed. He needed to see you again. “I want to see you again.” 

You ran ahead of him, rushing through the trees. He followed behind, thankful that his trainer makes him go on endurance runs. 

As you two got back into the house, you tried to shake him off, just for fun. He wasn’t budging. When you finally made it to the front door, he grabbed your arm and kissed you. Again, those same butterflies were sent free in your stomach, and this time it didn’t make you nervous. It made you happy. 

As he kissed you, he pulled your mask off, revealing your identity to him as he pulled away. 

“Shit you’re beautiful,” he chuckled. “Sorry if that was too-”

You cut him off with a kiss of your own, pulling off his mask. “Pretty handsome yourself.” 

He smiled. “Please. I want to see you again.” 

“You already have my number, idiot,” you chuckled. 

“I know,” he chuckled. “I’m just asking you out now anyways.” 

You smiled. “Yes, I’ll obviously go out with you.” 

He pressed his lips to yours once again, and both of your friend groups cheered, happy that you’d finally gotten together.

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[girlfromflor]

56 DAYS (sjy) | PREQUEL

pairing: enemie!jake x fem!reader | uptade: part one

summary: after your best friend jay made you share an apartment with jake – “the guy you don’t like” –, you have to decide whether you should or not give into the feelings he makes you experience, something possibly pleasant and definitely memorable.

genre: "enemies" (reader is in denial) to lovers, accidental roommates, summer love, also has a bit of angst

warnings: none for the teaser except tension, a bit of angst and bestfriend!jay (yes, he's a warning himself), but on the actual fic there will be smut (i will properly say them all when i post it), its mentioned that reader likes to be alone

wc: this teaser has 1.5k+ but the fic is 5.7+ so far (i finished half of it, so let's expect 10k) | playlist: 56 days.

a/n: this works like a prequel, i guess. also english is not my first language, let me know if there are any mistakes, please? tell me if you wanna be tagged in the sequel♡

sharing an apartment with a man is quite an experience. with your best friend jay it’s not at all simple and with his best friend jake it’s even less so. jay can be both an angel and a demon when he wishes and you can bet he really wanted to this time. a couple of weeks after you two started living together, he decided he would travel to his hometown. and you wonder how he could run away at the first opportunity he got. well, it’s not like he’s moving out. however, spending your summer break in another country when your best friend needs help and support is not exactly the best way to prove yourself as a nice roommate – or an exemplary best friend, for that matter. jay always been a present and honest friend with you, you could always rely on him for all the things you needed. although, it was constantly obvious he didn’t support how you lived your love life, according to him you “don’t know how to enjoy what life has to offer”.

ever since you graduated high school and started college he keeps bugging you to go on a date with one of his closest friends, jake. you, on the other hand, had an impenetrable reluctance when it came to this certain topic. you had met jake through jay, who met him at college. you didn’t know much about jake’s life, except the fact that he shared majors with jay. you did have a strong opinion about his personality though and you could describe it in three main ways: he is incorrigible, absolutely cocky and totally enchanted by you – apparently, at least. that’s what he demonstrated every time you both met and maybe it was for that exact same reason that you made it so explicitly clear you didn’t like him. which is a total and complete lie. you have nothing against him, if anything you think he is considerably funny and somewhat intriguing. handsome for sure and even a bit attractive, on a day you were feeling generous. the problem is that he:

doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up;

is exhaustively insistent;

wants you really, really, really bad.

and jay knows the latter very well. so much so that he would always say a thing or two just to test the waters and see if your opinion of jake had changed. to see if there was any remote chance you would admit that, deep down, you liked jake’s mischievous and flirtatious ways even just a little bit. which you did, but it wasn’t like you were ever letting them know, especially when you were so used to being alone – being so used to wanting to be alone made it hard to think of him anything other than a nuisance. although, with the way jay talked about how jake thought you were just so cute you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have him for yourself. jay knew you weren’t going to let jake any close to you, since he felt how hesitant you were about people in general. he felt like he had to do his magic and, for both his friends' happiness, he took matters into his own hands.

the first time you’ve realized that jay tried, in a not-so-subtle way, to throw you at jake was at one of the first parties you attended after you entered college. after a few – many – cups, jay was very happy and more than ready to put his cupid abilities into action. with everyone gathered in a circle that looked more like a square and five rounds after an unorganized “truth or dare” had begun, jay knew it was time to test your patience – real hard. 

“dearest best friend, truth or dare?” his drunken voice, a bit more high-pitched than usual, could be heard and you, without really thinking where this would lead to, answered, “dare, jay.”

it was too late to back away and it took you a while to take in everything that unraveled next. when you came to your senses, you were already being locked in with a disoriented looking jake, who had just been dragged from the makeshift dance floor to the bathroom you would share for the following seven minutes. jake released a laugh that was a mix of disbelief and pure amusement. although he had talked jay’s ear off about how pretty he thought you were and that he would never deny a kiss of yours, he didn’t really expect something to happen. he didn’t expect jay to make you two meet at the party, let alone in such a specific way. but he wouldn’t waste this opportunity in a thousand years. it had been weeks since he accidentally ran into you in the college hallways while looking for jay, who was conveniently walking next to you. that was when jay introduced you two and since then, jake hadn’t been able to get you out of his head. “hey there, pretty,” he said, still smiling.

“why are you laughing, huh?” you asked, clearly uncomfortable at having to share such a small space with someone you barely knew, but deep down grateful that that someone was jake – because despite it being an embarrassing situation, you trusted that he would never hurt you.

“it’s nothing…” he answered you, but that wasn’t going to do it. so he felt obligated to add up an almost inaudible “i’m just happy… that you’re here.” 

and you sighed, pissed off by how easily that simple phrase managed to get to you. “shut up, jake.” sounding low-key aggressive and rolling your eyes, you pressed your back against the door and carried on, “don’t treat me like that, i won't fall for your charms.”

he faked being completely offended, his eyes comically widened and his hand exaggeratedly splaying over his chest, right over his heart. “do you think i'm trying to charm you? me of all people?” though after his little act of innocence he went back to having that smug look on his face and added, “i think you’re too conceited, pretty.” his feet moved to slowly approach you and you immediately regretted the position you chose to stay in, because now you were cornered. his hands moved up to support themselves against the door, one on each side of your head and since you had no way out, you tried your best not to look at his inviting mouth – the one that looked way too kissable for his own good and that was getting closer and closer. 

“and just how well do you know me to state that? nearly nothing, right?” you spoke, but your voice was nothing more than a whisper. a small pout formed on your lips, out of pure spite for not wanting to stay there with him much longer, because you knew you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself. you wanted to kiss him, you needed that.

jake, on the other hand, seemed like he was having the time of his life. your body was contradicting every word you ever said and he wanted so badly to tease you, just a little bit more. just enough to make you give in to your obvious wishes. “oh princess, don’t talk to me like that. if you haven’t noticed, that’s exactly what i'm trying to do here…” one of his hands left the door to play with a loose strand of your hair and your whole body tensed. “you know? trying to get to know you better… but you won’t help me.” and you could feel his warm breath on your cheek. that was it, you were going to kiss jake at that very moment and not an inch in your body seemed to be against it.

only, you didn’t kiss. much to the boy’s dismay – and, secretly, yours too – you were interrupted. the sound of the key unlocking the door was deafening in the deep silence that had hung between you both. jake felt pure anger bubble up inside him at the missed opportunity. you looked around the room, flustered, trying to compose yourself as if you were guilty of something that didn’t even happen and jake backed away from you, even though his whole body begged otherwise. jay’s voice was a very needed welcome and you managed to release a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding. as you turned your back on jake and left the room in a hurry, you lightly caressed your heart over your shirt, in a failed attempt to try and soothe it’s uncontrollable rhythm. jake was left speechless and slightly out of breath, trying really hard not to run after you as he glared jay.

but jay was too curious to notice, eagerly asking “dude, what happened? you look like you ran a marathon…”

jake only sighed, then he spoke, “nothing happened. like, literally nothing…” and as he softly pushed past jay, he tried to ignore the annoying ache in his heart, forcing himself to think that there was nothing to worry about, this wasn’t the end yet – ‘i will have another chance’, that’s all that went through his mind.

[sprinkler-ashes]

gorgeous // aaron hotchner x reader

gorgeous

pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader

in which you’re jack hotchner’s teacher, and you are utterly enamored of his dad. loosely based off of taylor swift’s song “gorgeous.”

words: 2.4k

warnings: everyone thirsting over hotch lmao

a/n: thank you all soooo very much for 600+ notes on my last fic!!! here’s another small taylor-inspired fic. It’s short, sweet, and i left it open for a part 2 in case i want to write it – we’ll see. i really wanted to get more out for you guys, but spring semester started, i fell back into constant work, and now am getting over the flu, which totally sucks, but is giving me a slight break to write. thanks for reading <3

you make me so happy, it turns back to sad

there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have

you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

On most days, you loved your job. You were a first grade teacher and truly loved all the kids you had as if they were your own.

However, on some days – you really despised your job.

Dealing with the parents was sometimes your least favorite part of your job. It was usually mind-boggling to you at how some of these people had the sweetest and smartest kids, but they, the parents themselves, could be absolutely awful. It wasn’t all of the parents. In fact, there were some you really liked, but there were definitely a couple bad ones.

As much as you didn’t like dealing with some of those bad parents during conferences, you weren’t a fan of days like today – a Saturday bake sale at nine in the morning to raise money for an end-of-the-year field trip coming up at the end of the school year in just a couple months. The PTA was over the bake sale, which meant you had to deal with some of the most insufferable women you had ever met on what was supposed to be a day off.

“I told you, Stef, she’s just with him so she can get that life insurance check when he finally kicks the bucket – you watch and see if I’m not right,” the woman next to you, Kelly, said. “Poor Charlie, I hope he gets away from her before she snatches every penny he’s got.”

You wanted to scream. You weren’t sure how you were going to deal with this for another – you checked your watch – two hours and thirty-eight minutes even though the bake sale was only supposed to be three hours long. How had it only been twenty-two minutes?

 Kelly was the resident gossip while Stefanie, Stef, was her best friend and head of the PTA. Kelly’s son wasn’t in your class, but Stef’s twins were both in your class. Even though you didn’t even teach Kelly’s kid, you saw her often because she was always at every single school event.

“Stef, are you listening to me?” You heard Kelly ask.

“Did you know Mr. Hotchner is here?” Stef asked excitedly.

Your head perked up at hearing that. You pretended to fiddle with the homemade brownies wrapped up in front of you while you listened.

“That man is so beautiful. I just want him for myself,” Kelly replied. “I’m glad he made it today, so we have something nice to look at.”

You couldn’t disagree with Kelly there. Aaron Hotchner was the dad of one of the kids in your class, Jack, and a member of the PTA. He was the Unit Chief of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit and was often gone on cases. Jack’s mom had died a while ago, close to two years prior, and Jessica, Jack’s aunt, was usually the one who would drop him off and pick him up.

In fact, you had only met Jack’s dad a couple times – three, to be exact. The first time you met Jack and Aaron was at the school’s open house event right before school had started. The second time was the first parent-teacher conference of the year. The last time you had seen him was purely by luck in the grocery store one evening.

Kelly wasn’t wrong – Aaron Hotchner was insanely attractive and every woman in the PTA knew it. It honestly seemed like everyone knew it except for Aaron himself. You watched as he helped Jack give change back to a man who was buying a cookie at the booth he was at. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched him give his son a high-five after the man had left.

Truthfully, you hated him. Not because he had ever done anything to you – actually, it was because he hadn’t done anything to you.

“Do you think he’ll ever remarry?” Kelly asked Stef. “If so, I hope it’s one of us.”

“You, me, and every woman here,” Stef said with a laugh. “Oh my goodness, Kelly, he’s coming over here. Fix your hair! It looks like a bird’s nest.”

You felt your pulse start to race as you glanced up to find that Stef was, indeed, right. Aaron was coming over, his eyes trained on you with his hands in his pockets. He was dressed casually in jeans and a crewneck sweatshirt. It was different from the usual suits you saw him in. Seeing him without a tie felt almost criminal.

“Good morning,” he told you, not paying attention to the other women near you, his eyes trained solely on you. “I’m sorry to bother you, but Jack wants to know if you’ll come join his booth for a moment. It won’t be long.”

You silently it wasn’t obvious that his gaze on you was affecting you the way that it was. His job was literally to profile people – you just hoped he wasn’t profiling you right now. “Yeah, I’d love to. Do you mind taking over this booth while I go over for a bit?”

“Go right ahead, honey,” Kelly told you. She lowered her voice, “I’d go anywhere with him, too.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m just going to see Jack’s poster.”

Kelly grinned. “Whatever you say.”

You shook your head, avoiding eye contact with Aaron and watching as both the women gave him a smile and little wave while you maneuvered from out behind the table you were standing at. “Lead the way.”

He gave you a small smile as he removed his hands from his pockets and led you over to the table him and Jack were assigned to. “I know you’re miserable, so I thought I’d help you escape.”

You were about to ask how he knew you’d rather have been doing anything else other than Stef and Kelly gossip, but you closed your mouth as soon as you opened it. “Really? You were profiling me? Here?”

That earned you a laugh out of him, which you now claimed as your favorite sound you’ve ever heard. “I don’t think it would’ve taken a profiler to see that you weren’t enjoying yourself.”

“Did you guys not get assigned with anyone else? It was supposed to be three to five people per table,” you mentioned as you two had finally reached the cookie booth that Aaron and Jack were over.

“We did, but they didn’t show,” Aaron replied to you, his hand lightly touching your lower back as he guided you behind the table where Jack was awaiting, causing you to elicit a sharp intake at the contact. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” you said in your best attempt at a nonchalant tone. If he doubted you, he didn’t press further. “Do you want me to ask around and see if I can get someone to come work the cookie booth with you guys?”

Aaron shook his head. “We’re holding up fine. Right, Jack?”

“Miss Y/L/N!” Jack shouted coming towards you as he held out his poster board that was just about as big as he was and filled with hand-drawn pictures of cookies. “Look at my sign! Daddy let me stay up late to make it.”

You crouched down to his level. “It looks awesome, Jack!” you told him excitedly, gaining a smile of your own as you watched his spread wide. “You did a great job!”

“Thanks! Can you put it back in front of the table, please?” He asked you politely. You nodded and took the poster back from him and placed it back in its rightful spot in front. “Daddy, can I go talk to my friends? I’ll be really quick, I pinky-promise.”

“Yes, but don’t be too long. We have cookies to sell,” Aaron told him.

You both watched as Jack’s little legs carried him just right in front of the table you were at. He was only a couple feet away, but you noticed Aaron’s eyes watching him, making sure he got there safely and that the adults working that table saw him.

“He thinks the world of you. I think you’re his favorite person,” Aaron told you.

That made you grin. You weren’t supposed to have favorites as a teacher, especially with kids as young as the ones you taught, but Jack was definitely one of your favorites. He was a sweet kid and was even reading on a fourth grade level. He caused no trouble and was a friend to everyone.

“He’s a great kid. I think the world of him also,” you said, your eyes locking with Aaron’s. Your breath hitched. How was someone this gorgeous? “But I actually think you’re his favorite person. He tells everyone about you and what you do. You’re his hero.”

Aaron grinned, and it was a sight you hadn’t seen before. You’d gotten smiles from him before, but never anything this big. You refrained from quite literally melting onto the floor. To be honest, you weren’t sure how you were going to last another minute standing here with him. He was so attractive you could barely even look at him.

If you said you didn’t have a teeny, tiny crush on Jack’s dad, you would be lying, but he was off-limits. For one, you were his son’s teacher. You’d really convinced yourself that there was no way he would want someone like you. There was nothing wrong with you, but you two were supposed to have a strictly professional relationship.

“Have you tried one of the cookies?” Aaron asked you, motioning to the cookies that laid on the table in front of the two of you.

“I haven’t,” you replied. “Did you bake all of these?”

“I had some help,” he sheepishly admitted. “Penelope, one of my co-workers, she helped me. As soon as we got back from a case last night, she came over. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to bake this many cookies by myself.”

“You made all of these last night? And after a case?” you asked incredulously. The entire table was covered in cookies of various different flavors. You were seriously impressed.

“Yeah, but it was no big deal,” he brushed it off. “I didn’t want to miss the bake sale. Plus, like I said, I didn’t do all of it.”

Was there anything this man couldn’t do?

You laughed. “I’m sure you’re probably wishing that you did miss the bake sale.” You gestured around the school parking lot that was set up. “I can count on one hand the number of things we’ve sold. I told Stef that a chilly February bake sale wasn’t a good idea, but she doesn’t really listen.”

“No, I’m glad I’m here. I really wanted to be here,” he said, looking directly at you.

This man knew how to take your breath away without even touching you or really even saying anything. You really understand now why all the PTA moms spent so much time gossiping about him.

“We’re glad you could make it,” you said breathlessly, offering a smile. “Really, Mr. Hotchner, I know how busy you are, so all of us are thrilled that you could find the time to help out.”

“Call me Aaron.”

This man was genuinely going to drive you crazy. You were an adult, so why did talking to Aaron Hotchner almost make you drop to the ground?

Before you could say anything else, Jack was back. “Did we get any more customers?”

“Not yet, buddy.”

Jack frowned. “Ah, man. But the cookies are so good!” He turned to you. “Miss Y/L/N, why is no one buying anything?”

“I’m not sure, Jack. Hopefully, we’ll get some more customers later.”

“I hope so,” he said sadly. “I really want to go on the field trip.”

You once again crouched down to his height – something you did often when talking to any of the kids. “We’re working really hard to make the field trip happen, so don’t give up hope, okay?”

Before Jack could reply, you noticed people coming towards your table, so you motioned for Jack to look. “Look! There’s some customers coming. You ready?”

Jack nodded excitedly as he turned around and eagerly started to await the arrival of the people nearing. You smiled at his excitement and took a step back, letting him take control, but you were going to keep watch to make sure he was doing everything correctly.

 “I can see why Jack likes you so much.”

You smiled. The greatest compliments you could receive was from parents telling you their kids – the kids you spent more time with than your own family — liked you. Some days were tough, and it would feel like you weren’t in the right profession, but that feeling would go away any time a parent was able to confirm that their child really enjoyed you teaching them.

“Thank you, Mr. Hotchner, but I should probably get back to helping out Stef and Kelly,” you told him as you looked around to see more people filing in. “It seems we’re starting to get a little busy.”

“Yeah, of course, sorry to keep you busy. Jack just wanted you to come over.”

Jack turned around. “Yeah, I did. Daddy wasn’t happy that we didn’t get to work a table with you. He called Miss Stef a-”

Aaron’s eyes went for a split second before he said, “Jack, turn back around and sell your cookies.”

Jack did as he was told and Aaron awkwardly ran a hand through his hair as you replayed what Jack said back in your head. Aaron wanted to talk to you. He wanted to work with you today. It could’ve meant anything, but you were currently feeling like a kid on Christmas morning.

Aaron cleared his throat. “I guess Jack wasn’t the only one that wanted to talk to you.”

You suppressed a grin, gaining the courage to look Aaron in the eyes. “And I guess Jack wasn’t the only one I came over here for.”

[doyozen]

hola <3. can i request idolbf!haech feeling insecure, jealous and getting sulky bc he thinks, gn!reader is spending too much time w their male friend? and gn!reader makes it up to him w cuddles and assures him that he's the only one. love ur work <3

Hi lovely thank you for your request❤️ i hope you enjoye and thank YOU for loving my work ILY!!

idol!haechan x gn!reader

genre fluff

warnings haechan is a jealous boy </33

you were incredibly proud to say that lee donghyuck is the love of your life, although your relationship wasn’t perfect just like every other relationship in the world, the two of you hardly got into serious arguments and always found ways to talk clearly about your feelings.

haechan warned you that when you started dating, there was going to be times he was much too busy to spend time with you, and you understood that. you were fully aware that he’s an idol and is going to be busier than you liked, but you loved him enough to push through it and cheer him on.

it had started up again, nct 127 was preparing for a tour and your already very hard working boyfriend was pushing himself to his limit. you were worried, of course, but he insisted that he was strong enough and there was nothing to be concerned about.

“do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked, turning away from his gaming setup to plop next to you onto his bed. you instantly dropped your phone next to you to give him your full, undivided attention.

the bed dipped a bit when he got comfortable next to you, and you felt all of your stress and worries disappear with him being next to you and pulling you into him. “um, i think somin and myungsoo wanted to get lunch?”

his head perks up a bit, “myungsoo?”

“yeah, you met him, remember? at my birthday party a couple months ago?”

the boy thinks for a bit and then hums. “right, yeah, i remember.”

“we haven’t seen each other since the party, so it’ll be nice to catch up!” you continue, not thinking a single thing of it.

you hadn’t thought anything of it because the entirety you’ve been dating haechan, he had you believing he was not the jealous type, which was a big fat lie. of course you never really did much to make him jealous, not because you felt like you couldn’t have guy friends, you just didn’t have many friends in general. haechan tries to swallow the jealousy bubbling inside him because he didn’t want to seem like a crazy, overprotective boyfriend.

to his own surprise, he doesn’t think much of it the next day, he found himself getting over it over-night because at the end of the day, you chose him, and he chose you. he had no reason to be jealous.

“who’s this on y/n’s story?” mark asks him, pointing his phone in his groupmates direction to reveal a picture of the two friends and your lunch posted on your instagram story.

haechan sighs and grabs a towel to wipe the sweat dripping down his forehead, leaning in to get a good look at what mark was showing him.

fuck, he thinks, he’s attractive. why does mark know me so well? or… he thinks he does. i am NOT jealous. i’m their boyfriend. not him.

“what do you mean? that’s their friends, duh,” he says in a tone that made it seem like it was obvious, and it was. mark was just very used to seeing his best friend get jealous even over him having other friends. although it was secretly adorable, it was unlike him.

“right…” the older sings, not saying another word as the two of them got up to finish practice.

haechan calls you that night and even though it was quite late and you both were exhausted, you never went a day without talking on the phone. “hi, baby.” he greets, and your heart skips a beat at the pet name.

“hi,” you grin, “how was your day?”

“tiring,” he groans without hesitation, “taeyong hyung was being a little bitch—sorry, he’s a great leader but i absolutely hate when he puts on the strict leader act. it drives me crazy.”

you laugh at your boyfriends rants. “poor baby.”

“yes, feel bad for me. i have it so hard,” he sarcastically pours and you glare at him, making him raise his hands in defense. “sorryyyy. how was your day?”

“it was fine, i had fun with somin and myungsoo, and i had yummy food, but… i was thinking about you all day.”

haechan gasps and puts his hand to his heart, squeezing his eyes shut playfully. “y/n… cuteness overload. don’t do this to me.” he was so cheesy but it was so cute that you couldn’t help but laugh every single time.

the conversation goes on and he’s relieved that the day is over, because that means you’d never hang out with myungsoo ever again. or he was just telling himself that to feel better, because he would never ask you to stop hanging out with your friend when you didn’t even do anything wrong.

but then you do hang out with myungsoo… again. and again.

haechans becoming busier by the day and you miss him like crazy, you felt alone and isolated and so you try to out get of the house more to make yourself feel better, and convince yourself that you don’t have to depend on your boyfriend to have fun but it was just too damn hard. however, it doesn’t even cross his mind that you wanted to distract yourself from how much you miss him. he can’t stop thinking about how much time you’re spending with myungsoo.

his main concern was that you would tell him when you were hanging out with myungsoo, just not what you were doing together. he couldn’t help his clouded thoughts and started to get insecure over you and your attractive friend becoming closer. he wouldn’t have known that you never hung out with other guys alone unless it was in public, because he never bothered to ask.

“hiii,” you sing, “i miss you so much.”

“i miss you too,” he deadpans from the other side of the phone, and you feel your face drop.

“you okay?” you knew he wasn’t, you knew you had every right to be worried for his well-being, he should’ve listened to you when you told him to take care of his health first, you thought.

“i’m alright, just tired,” he says.

you nod to yourself, feeling bad that you can’t help him, but more feeling guilty for being upset that he wants to sleep more than he wants to talk to you. “oh, okay. go to sleep, babe. we’ll talk tomorrow.”

you wait for him to sleepily insist that he’s perfectly fine and he’d rather stay up all night talking to you, but he doesn’t this time. “okay, i love you. i’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

you stay silent for a second but respond. “goodnight.”

the phone hangs up and you immediately regret not telling him you love him back, you don’t even why you wouldn’t say it back, and now he’s going to sleep thinking you don’t love him. you panicked and couldn’t help but feel like it was something more than him being tired, but you couldn’t push or force it out of him.

the thought keeps you up at night and so the morning after, you text haechan good morning and tell him you were sorry for not saying i love you. you thought he probably hadn’t thought much of it and you were being dramatic, but he tells you it’s okay and that he understands if you were upset.

that’s when you take matters into your own hands and message one of the members.

you: mark

is haechan okay

mark: he seems fine to me

why?

you: hes been kind of distant lately

and not in the way that he’s busy with schedules and things like that, but it feels like there’s something he’s not telling me

i’m sorry i dont want to be that type of partner but im seriously worried for him

mark: oh y/n :( he hasnt said anything to me im really sorry

he hasnt even seemed off to me at all, like hes pretty normal at practice and rehearsal

well as normal as haechan gets

and don’t apologize thats really sweet of you hes lucky to have you seriously

you: oh okay

why is he distant to meeee im sad

but thank you anyways

mark: ofc!

you realize quickly after that you probably shouldn’t have done that, because mark telling you that he seemed completely normal in his presence made you feel even worse.

you hadn’t seen each other in a little over two weeks and you figured it may have just been getting really hard on him not seeing you, the same as it was for you not seeing him. you didn’t want to assume anything but you also didn’t want to believe that he could’ve been mad at you for something.

for the first time in a good week, you cancel your plans with myungsoo and take the day to prepare to surprise your boyfriend.

you didn’t tell him that you’d be at the dorms when he got home that night, and so you picked up a few of his favorite snacks and drinks and made yourself comfortable in his bed while you waited for his arrival. after about an hour of being alone in the dorm, you hear the front door open and your heart starts pounding.

you had no idea why you were nervous to see yor boyfriend at all, maybe because you were worried he really was mad at you and the plan would backfire.

still, you pretend to not be phased and look relaxed as his footsteps get closer, and soon enough his door swung open and there he stood. his eyes immediately lock with yours and you watch his blank expression change to surprise. every single negative thought leaves his mind at the sight of you, and you can visibly see the tension leave body as his shoulders drop in relief.

“hi,” you greet sweetly, standing from his bed and be drops his bag without a word and walks over to you.

haechan still says nothing when he wraps his arms around you, damp with sweat but you honestly couldn’t care less. you return the gesture and you comfortably hold each other in silence for a little while.

“i know it’s late, i’m sorry,” you apologize once you pulled away.

“what’re you doing here?” he asks, disregarding your statement. not that he wasn’t happy to see you, just wasn’t prepared to face you after getting in his head about you and your hot friend.

“i was worried about you, and i miss you.”

his eyes become even softer, suddenly feel guilty and he drops his head. “i’m sorry.”

your furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “what for?”

“preparing for tour has been more difficult than i thought, and i’m exhausted, and you’re the only person who makes me feel sane and it’s so fucking hard when i can’t see you. i just miss you and… and, i don’t know. you have a really hot friend and it makes me sad because he’s hot. i wish he was ugly.” he rants.

you listen to him in full understanding at all his words, until he got to the last statement. “i get you, and i miss you too… but, are you—are you talking about myungsoo?”

“i know it’s stupid and trust me, i feel stupid but i don’t know…” he pouts, “you’ve been spending a lot of time with him…”

you know the situation was a very un-laughable situation, but you truly can’t help but chuckle at his mumbled words when talking about myungsoo. “haechan… myungsoo and i are just friends, i promise. i’ll stop hanging out with him if you want—“

“no, i know you’re just friends and i am not accusing you of anything,” he replies quickly, “i don’t want you to stop hanging out with him because of me. i just hate how attractive he is. i’m sorry. it’s stupid but i feel insecure for some reason.”

you nod, “i hear you, and it’s not stupid. i could’ve been better at reassuring you, but you’re my boyfriend… not him. i love you, not him. i don’t think i need to tell you that you’re hotter than him, your head is big enough.”

you smile when you manage to break a laugh out of him. “no, actually, it’s not. i need you to tell me how hot and sexy and awesome i am or i’ll cry.”

you playfully sigh and after he sits down on his bed, you crawl into his lap with your legs hanging over his and your arms wrapped around his neck. “lee haechan, you are the most attractive person i have and will ever lay my eyes on. you are so perfect inside and out, and i love you.”

he didn’t expect you to take it seriously as the two of you joked around way too much but he was pleasantly surprised with your response. he gives you a cocky smirk, but you can tell his heart was beating fast in his chest and his stomach was exploding in butterflies. “you promise?”

you nod as he hugs your waist tighter, “i promise.”

then he sighs loudly and falls back into his bed, taking you with him. “i’m so in love with you, it’s sick.”

“don’t ever get jealous again, i’m yours, and you’re mine,” you say, “and it’s only and always you—”

“y/n, please,” your boyfriend stops you, “my heart can’t take this.”

“and, there will never be a reason for you to be jealous or insecure.” you fight a laugh, watching him bury his face into your neck shyly. he wasn’t shy whatsoever, you just managed to make him flustered. it was basically a super power.

“now that i know this is what it takes to get you to compliment me, i’m gonna get jealous much more often,” he nods.

you gasp, slapping a hand on his chest which only earns you a laugh from him. “shut up! i compliment you all the time! don’t like you don’t watch your own fancams, either.”

“i knowwww, i’m kidding, i love you. thank you for giving me all the compliments in the world.”

you hum in satisfaction, “yes, of course. i love you so much.”

the boy leans over and equips you with a very sloppy kiss right on your cheek, to which you groan in disgust at the feeling of his saliva but smile lovingly. “i love you more.”

[unknownspecies]

[Like This?]

[Kuroo x f!reader]

“Tetsuro, you’re a dork,” Kenma grumbled, taking a bite out of his slice of pie.

“Me?! You have no idea what you’re talking about. You literally have no love life.” Kuroo scoffed indignantly.

You, Kenma, and Kuroo decided to meet up at a bakery to hang out. You met Kenma a few years ago and have become close friends ever since. He introduced you to his best friend and you three quickly became a close trio.

His friend raised a brow, “Oh really? You don’t know that.”

You snorted and Kuroo screeched, “what the fuck?! Even if you do have game, the only reason those women get with you is because you’re famous.”

Kenma sipped on his drink and eyed him, “They didn’t even know my name. Besides, I’m not the one who’s so socially incompetent that I can’t recognize when a girl is flirting with me.”

You giggled, “He has a point there, love.” Kuroo glared at you, “You mind your business.”

“See? She’s literally flirting with you and you don’t even notice.” Kenma pointed out.

“Are you talking about her calling me ‘love’? She calls everyone that! That’s not flirting, that’s just her being affectionate.” He stared at the both of you, upset that his two friends were ganging up against him and calling him out on his lack of love life.

You and Kenma exchanged a knowing look. Kenma knew of your crush on him, but it wasn’t really hidden either. You flirted with Kuroo at every chance that you got and this buffoon still couldn’t take the hint. You normally would be worried that Kuroo was just denying your advances, but you’ve known him long enough to see that he was an absolute idiot when it came to anything romantic.

You decided to slightly alter the subject. “So Kenma, if you’ve been with girls, what are some hot things that we do?”

You were genuinely curious, wanting to get a guy’s perspective on the subject of attraction.

Kenma shrugged, “All girls are pretty. It depends on the guy. I personally like someone who’s laid back and doesn’t-”

“I don’t think she cares about your personal taste, Kenma. She wants to know what girls do that you think are hot. Now I’m curious about my best friend’s taste. I bet he likes it when she’s bold though,” he elbowed you and you snorted at your crush’s comment. “Be nice,” you muttered and looked at Kenma, awaiting his answer.

He rolled his eyes at Kuroo’s interruption. “I’m not going to lie. I find it hot when girls tie their hair up. Or anything that takes it out of their faces.”

You snickered, “I wonder why.” Then quickly took a sip of your drink laughing at Kenma flipping you off. “What about you Kuroo? What does the handsome nincompoop that can’t take a hint like girls doing?”

Kuroo scowled at the insult then stirred his drink in thought. After a moment, he responded.

“I think I would love it if a girl were to grab my face. The boldness is really hot-”

Before he could make another sound, your hand shot up to grip his jaw. You pulled your faces together and brushed your lips against his. You then grazed it along his jaw until your lips were against his ear.

“Like this?” you murmured, your breath fanning against him. You turned your head to face him, then slowly backed away, smirking. You took a sip of your drink, staring at him from your periphery. You were shocked at your sudden action, but you were also growing impatient. You hoped that this would’ve been enough to show him your feelings towards him.

To say that Kuroo was red would be an understatement. His entire face was flushed and he was stuttering. You weren’t even sure he knew what he wanted to say.

He grabbed his cup and shoved the straw in his mouth. After a few moments of tense silence, he mumbled.

“Yeah... Like that.”

Kenma groaned loudly, rolling his eyes. “For fuck’s sake you guys need to get a room.”

[majesticwren]

this is part II of this previous smutty one-shot. That one is still a stand-alone but, after this point, it is officially a multichaper. part III to come soon. edit: part III is done. be advised, this entire project is done solely for my pleasure, I am indulging myself so much with this. the angst that it carries (because yes there will be more coming - I am very good very evil) it's the energy I crave please don't come for me and trust the process I'll feed you smut. it is edited but not proofread. enjoy. a/n: hi :) me again back at it. I didn't like the first draft of this so I finally went back in and made it a little extra poly/gay with some more chemistry between kyle and will because I needed it. thank you bye 💕

trigger warning/s: angst angst angst, poly relationship dynamics, reference to sex, reference to threesome, smut, oral f receiving, shit loads of misunderstandings and miscommunication, swearing, OFC is unhinged and is her own trigger warning.

<- part I | part III -> prequel part I -> | part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist

Erika sat still and collected. She had already been told off a few times because she was too fidgety so, now, it became a game of control on her own subconscious and nervous system. She was releasing her frustration on biting the inside of her cheek and lips instead. It was just as bad as bouncing her knee or just generally being unable to sit still and empty handed for longer than thirty seconds, but it was better manageable when her nail technician required her absolute stillness to work.

Not that she was winning. Not at all. Her mind was too busy. But, at least, it was fun to pretend she had everything under control. Everything was fine. Erika kept repeating it to herself like a prayer. She truly believed if she did it for long enough it would have become true. Because the alternative was heaving a breakdown, and she couldn’t afford one of those. Not when it risked to jeopardize the precarious balance her life had.

She was happy. She had been happy for a very long time. She had no right to suddenly feel like her very lucky, very privileged life could be somehow tight. And yet, she couldn’t shake her the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in a small box. Which was exactly why she spent every waking second feeling guilty and every sleeping moment being tormented by her subconscious painfully reminding her about everything she didn’t have.

It wasn’t fair. And not because she thought the universe was torturing her, but because she was aware she was the problem. 

She was a wild card; which was all fun and games until she got to moments of her life like that one when she decided she needed a revolution. 

When she was younger, she tended to act out. Sometimes she thought her family was too nice, so she went and created problems. Sometimes she hated being pretty and how easy life seemed to be, so she would become nasty. Sometimes people would assume she was nothing more than a pretty face, and she would think about the smartest, cruellest way to get revenge. Sometimes all Erika craved was attention and would indulge in sex, alcohol or drugs abuse to get what she wanted. It started when she was very young, some may say too young to understand the consequences of her actions. Her brother helped her out of most of the shit she found herself drowning into even before she was eighteen.

And then she met Kyle.

He had been different from any other guy or girl she had ever interacted with. She knew since the very beginning he was special to her; she was attracted to him like a moth to light. It was impossible for her to stay away. But he too became a rebellious act she did in spite of Mark when her brother noticed her interest, assumed wrong of her intentions and suggested her to stay away from Kyle because he had no intention of seeing her breaking his heart. So, she took him literally and proceeded to do exactly what Mark had asked her not to. She broke Kyle’s heart. And it took her time to understand her mistake and fix it. 

Thing was, she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She hadn’t allowed herself to act on a whim in a very long time and she wasn’t about to justify herself to risk to ruin her perfect fairytale life. 

She got to do the job of her dreams, having a career many would kill for, not only that but she was also making good money for her skill. And she got to travel the world side by side with her amazing, beautiful and talented boyfriend, making many friends along the way. It felt nothing but privilege to her. Some may had been deserved, but privilege all the same. 

The idea that she was going to possibly ruin it all was terrifying.

But, everything was fine, she reminded herself.

“So,” Regina, the girl working on her nails, sent her a curious look from the other side of the table. “You look very pretty today. I see you had your lashes done?”

“Just this morning,” Erika nodded, “and my hair too.”

“I see,” the girl’s look became suddenly cheeky. She was a proper chatter-box who lived for the scandalous gossip her clients brought to the salon. They all were. There and at the hair salon just across the way. Which was mostly pleasant and harmless, but Erika had a feeling of what was coming and didn’t have the patience to hold a conversation. “Any special occasion?”

She shrugged. “Just a little party between friends.”

“Oh?”

“My brother is coming back from Australia after a month,” Erika decided to give in a little, “we organised a small gathering for him.” 

“You are an awful lot beautiful for just a casual event.”

“Can’t change perfection, sorry darling,” Erika giggled, finding some soothe in the distraction that conversation brought.

Regina chuckled too. “And what about your dashing boyfriend? Is he gonna be there?”

Erika grinned proudly, knowing very well how pretty Kyle was and how much attention he always got. Thankfully she wasn’t the jealous type. “Of course. You might be in for a treat actually,” Erika raised her chin, basking into her own bragging. “He is around and will pick me up when I’m done.”

“Oh,” Regina shook her shoulders, all excited, “You just made my day. Girls!” she called referring to the rest of the salon, “Erika’s boyfriend is popping by!” A small burst of celebrations occurred between the girls present, someone clapped, someone tapped the work surface and a few howled, just for everyone to then cheer joyfully. Erika too, giggled to herself allowing herself to let go of some of her concerns.

Thinking about Kyle made it better. Mostly.

“You will understand what we mean as soon as you see him,” Regina hinted to the girl sitting next to Erika, who was giving everyone very suspicious looks. “I tell you these Australians are something else.”

Erika shook her head, rolling her eyes. “What can I say, eh? We are the best country in the world, after all.”

“Well, tell me about this party, girlie,” Regina continued, focusing back on the final details her nails. “Are all your famous friends going to be there?”

“No,” any trace of joy left Erika. She huffed as enthusiasm washed off her. She was just exhausted. “Just a couple,”

“Well? Cheer up, love, what’s that sudden long face for? You can’t be all done up like this and be sad. Not on my nails.”

“I’m sorry Regina,” Erika sighed, “I am just tired, it’s been a long day and I haven’t slept at all well.”

“I bet. With a guy like your boy, I’d struggle to sleep every night too.”

Erika chuckled. She knew exactly how to respond to keep that little chitchat going, just to occupy time, but she didn’t say it. She was done talking. Not because she didn’t enjoy it, only because she was done holding up a mask. Her social battery was running out so quickly and she still had to deal with the last bits to get ready for the party and the event itself.

It wasn’t like she wasn’t looking forward seeing her brother after so long. She was so happy he was coming back to the UK; she missed him so much. But the idea of a party with all their close friends was enough to make her feel exhausted already. To be precise, it was the idea of a party with Will present that made her feel completely overwhelmed. 

Will was her problem.

Her chest still ached thinking about how cold and awkward it had been between them ever since the night they spent together. He didn’t seem to have any problem with Kyle, they kept spending as much time together as they could. Which wasn’t a surprise. But with her he was a completely different guy.

They hadn’t talked since the morning after. And ever since, Will had been plainly avoiding her. If they were so unlucky to cross paths, the words they exchanged were brief and distant. No eye contact.

Saying she was heartbroken wasn’t enough. 

Erika was aware they only had sex once and no one had talked about feelings. Yet, she wasn’t prepared to be treated so awkwardly. Especially after what they had. It meant something to her. It meant something Will stayed that night and they all slept snuggled on each other. It meant something that she now knew the scent of his skin or how he snored when he was on his right side. 

Being aware of what they shared and that Will now took part of her away, even if he wasn’t willing to accept it, was the only thing she had been able to think about. And it was her burden to carry. Every time she had to remind herself how things were going to be carved a deeper hole into her chest. And at the same time there was a need, a hunger, gnawing at her bones, leaving her feeling cold. And alone.

The most shameful part of it was that she didn’t have the heart to open up with Kyle about it. For the first time, she found herself keeping secrets from him. 

She felt dirty every second and she knew Kyle was trying his best to understand her and leaving her space, although she also knew he was hurting knowing something was happening. It was a price she was willing to pay, though. She had no intention of being the reason to slip any doubt in between him and Will. 

Erika had tried to soothe whatever was going on between them in the second-best way she knew how to be close to Kyle, since she had decided not to talk with him, and that was through sex. They had a way of always finding each other when they were intimate. It created a connection that was able to reassure her and take away some of her pain. Although the thought of Will was never gone for long.

She had thought about it long and hard. For some time, she had even started to get extremely concerned, wandering whether or not she had made the biggest mistake of her life and had cheated on Kyle right in front of him. But then she pretty quickly realised that wasn’t the case. The worth Kyle had to her was unchanged, Kyle still owned her heart. Only now it also ached for someone else too. 

“Oh,” Regina cooed, “heads up,” the moment she hinted to the entrance door, the bell ringed, announcing someone’s arrival. 

Erika followed Regina’s gaze and immediately melted into a warm smile as she recognised Kyle. Her body relaxed, her skin warmed up and her spirit shone a little brighter for him. 

“Hey,” she chirped.

The salon seemed to fall into an awe. Erika was hoping it was only her impression, although she didn’t miss the awkward, timid look Kyle sent all around. The more eyes set on him he found, the more his cheeks blushed. 

He held his half empty gym bag in one hand and was still wearing his gym gear, which was composed of baggy shorts and an unmatching old hoodie he had ripped the sleeves off only so he could show his arms. It was incredible how effortless his prettiness was. He could still look so attractive even in the lowest maintenance circumstances. It was mind blowing.

“Hey baby,” his voice broke her train of thought, “you ok?”

“Your girlie here seems to be very tired,” Regina looked directly at him, sending him a challenging look, “she said you keep her up all night.”

“Pardon?” Kyle blushed violently. His pale eyes glimmered of interest as he looked back at Erika, puzzled but amused as a timid smile peeked on his lips. 

“Nothing. Ignore her, please,” Erika sent a warning glare to Regina, hoping she could behave herself.

Kyle cleared his voice and nodded, “Right. Are you almost done?” He wondered leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the lips.

Erika looked back at Regina who nodded, looking at her own work on her nails. “Almost. Ten, fifteen minutes?”

Kyle’s attention didn’t move from Erika. “Do you want me to come back?”

“No,” Regina replied instead, offering a kiss-ass grin, “stay, have a seat on out booth, we got lovely colourful magazines and fresh cucumber water! Just ask.”

To his sudden confusion, Erika chuckled, leaning her head back as she looked up at him. “You are very popular in this establishment baby, you might want to consider switching career.”

“Oh, yeah?” he wondered leaning in for another kiss, causing some of the women around them to ooh them. “And what would you have me do, ladies?”

“Just stand there and be pretty. That’s more than enough.” Erika explained. 

Kyle offered a large smile to everyone present. “I see. Well, I’ll be sitting over there where everyone can easily look at me while you finish up.”

“Thank you,” Erika cooed and looked at him as he crossed the small salon and dropped himself on the small booth by the door. 

“Will says hi, by the way,” he casually began, opening up a random magazine. 

Erika choked. 

She turned towards Regina, as if hiding away could somehow shoo off the feelings that hit her like a landslide of heavy boulders rolling above her chest. So many questions crowded her mind, but, above anything, she was outraged.

What did it mean that Will said hi? Just like that? Casually? Like nothing happened? Was that the next step? From the awkwardness of knowing they saw each other naked and had sex to the complete denial it even ever happened? Was she that forgettable? And why would Kyle just say it like that? Like it was the most normal thing in the world? Did he think nothing happened too? That night meant nothing to him? Was he truly so blind not to notice how she was hurting and how Will hadn’t talked to her in a week? 

Or did they simply just decided to continue hang out with each other without her?

The room around her felt suddenly too small to breathe. The low murmur surrounding her and the ambiance music became too loud to bear. She felt like she was falling into a black void and sit there, unable to move, was unthinkable.

“Are you ok?”

Erika ignored Regina, shaking her words with a shrug. “Yes. Can you hurry up?”

“I mean I have the last layer of polish to do,” Regina frowned, “are you not feeling well?”

“No, I am ok, thank you. Just finish up, I just remembered I have something urgent I need to do.”

Erika barely managed to sit after that. She felt uncomfortable in her clothes, under her own skin. When her nails were finally done, she had never bolted out of that place as quickly as she did. Generally, she’d indulge in some small chit-chat and a drink or their flavoured water, just as courtesy. Not that time. She didn’t even stop to give Kyle the time to get up.

“Hey,” he shouted at her as she went through the door, “Hey, Erika, hold on,” he continued and when she didn’t stop for him, he grabbed her arm, bringing her to a hold. “Baby, what’s wrong?

She hissed, shaking her head. “Nothing is wrong. Let’s just go. Mark will land in a few hours,” 

“Yes. I know. I am the one who needs to go pick him up.” Erika tried to escape his hold, but Kyle held on, his grab was gentle but solid. “Will you stop one second? What happened? What did I do?”

Her heart was squeezed between guilt and regret. Erika raised a hand to him, cupping his cheek. “Nothing.” God, she wished she could pick him up and press him into her chest, “You had done nothing wrong; I just want to go home.”

How much she wished that could be enough. She wanted to drown into his eyes and disappear.

Kyle hesitated. His eyes cruised on her face, trying to read the answers he wanted from her features. And still, he kept his tongue tied.

He knew. She was aware Kyle knew something was up. He had known since the very beginning and she knew he was smart enough to connect the dots, only he never dared to overstep. Even though she desperately needed him to shake some sense into her.

He let her go, releasing a soft huff. “Ok.” He raised his hands peacefully, “Let’s take you home.”

“I’m gonna be late,” Kyle pushed his face in the crook of her neck, brushing his lips on her collarbones. 

She released a soft giggle, bending underneath him. “Passport control always takes ages,” Erika argued, wrapping her legs around his waist and keeping him exactly where he was standing in response. “Mark can wait,” she purred, her hands were all over Kyle as she sat back on her vanity table surface, pulling him closer.

He caught her lips in a heated kiss, unable to deny her. His big hands moved on her sides and down to her thighs. As soon as his palms touched her skin, Erika purred, melting under him. He easily lifted up the soft material of the silk shift she was wearing, exposing her.

“You are so bad,” Kyle pressed his smile on her chin, “you’d let your own brother wait all alone in the airport after the longest flight ever just to have some more sex.”

“Yes,” she pouted, ready to beg if necessary, “you should take it as a compliment.”

They had been going at it ever since they came home. Everything that was supposed to be said, everything that they were supposed to talk about, that Kyle wanted to ask and Erika needed to say, was forgotten once more just so they could find their connection skin on skin. 

It was blissful. Selfish, maybe, from both parts. And yet tremendously sweet. When she was between Kyle’s arms her mind was quiet and she felt safe. There was nothing threatening to hurt them. Nothing wrong.

And she simply couldn’t let go.

They had sex already twice in the midst of getting ready but it didn’t seem like they were done. It was easy for her to forget she was supposed to concentrate on doing her makeup and let him finish to dress up to go and pick up Mark. 

Kyle followed her neck, down to her chest, kissing, licking and nibbling on her soft, sensitive skin. When he continued down her sternum, unbothered by the thin material dividing him from her direct skin, Erika understood his intention and encouraged him with a soft whimper. 

He kneeled in front of her throwing her legs over his shoulders. His hands traced to her waist, surrounding her like a belt and holding her steady. His attention was only for her as he looked up, pale blue eyes glimmering with hot lust. 

“I do not have time,” he reminded her, bending his head and pressing his lips against the inside of her thigh, “but I can’t leave you knowing you are so needy.”

“No, you can’t,” her breath was hot and heavy as she looked at him move. “God,” she dared to chuckle, pushing a hand into his hair and keeping balance with the other. “You are so pretty in between my thighs it fucking hurts.”

“Yeah?” He wondered, only pretending not to be aware of the effect he had on her. The smirk he pulled gave her a shiver. He kissed higher up on her thigh. His lips were close to her core she felt his hot breath on her exposed flesh, and yet not giving her the satisfaction yet. 

She whimpered, nodding and stretching, feeling her need to find pleasure becoming an inconvenient ache pressing on her abdomen. “Please, Kyle,”

He didn’t let her waste anymore breath. Holding her steady, he pushed his face into her, and ate her up like she was made of honey. Erika almost lost every faculty as soon as his tongue caressed her folds, and she was completely gone by the time he started sucking her flesh. A moan vibrated through his chest, sending her to another planet.

The air soon filled by the obscene noises of Kyle’s mouth wrapped around her sex, accompanied by her moans. She wasn’t even trying to keep quiet by then. 

Pleasure started to build up inside of her stomach, sending electric shivers all across her limbs. Erika barely managed to balance herself up with an arm, but she didn’t care, she craved to push her fingers deeper between his hair just to hold him. In response, he looked straight up at her. His blue eyes were astonishingly beautiful. Making eye contact in such a moment was ravaging, so powerful her skin crawled with goosebumps, as pleasure only built. 

Erika didn’t take long to reach her edge and didn’t do anything to try and hold herself. She let herself go as her pleasure took over, growing through her, tensing her muscles as shivers crawled on her skin. Kyle skilfully guided her through her pleasure, following the movement of her hips and the quickness of her breath to know when she got close reaching her orgasm and then, he gave her exactly what she wanted, exactly what she needed, accompanying her through her release. She unravelled against him, her body shaking uncontrollably between his arms, as she called his name, lost in yet again another wave of pure bliss.

She then watched him rising to his feet. They were both out of breath. Erika felt pure electricity flowing in between them and under her skin and when he cleaned his chin and mouth up with his hand, she quivered, biting down on her lower lip not to beg him for more.

She needed another shower. A freezing cold one.

Erika slid her hands across his bare chest, looking at the scratch marks she left on his skin with extreme pride. “I wish we could just be like this all the time.”

“What? Having sex instead of being responsible and do adult things?”

“Precisely.” She looked away hiding from him, herself and everything else. The moment he’d leave her she would have only gone back to go insane again.

Kyle smiled softly. It was like he caught a glimpse of her sadness and, cupping her face, he made her look back at him. “I wish you talked to me,” his sweet request hit her right in the middle of the chest and ripped her apart. “You know I am here for you and I will always give you what you want. But I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong.”

She froze. Erika wished she could quit being that way. She wished it was just easier; she wished she let herself accept it could be easier. Instead, she pushed him away. “Yes,” she murmured sadly, “I know.” Erika attentively got back on her feet, still feeling her legs weak underneath her.

Kyle nodded. Her closing up to him once more was clearly something that hurt him. She saw it, she knew him well enough, and just wished she could be different.

She tried. For a moment they looked at each other and she truly tried to make her thoughts and emotions into words, but the knot in her throat silenced her. Her hesitation costed her their moment because Kyle was the one who broke eye contact and let her go.

He moved across the room and in the bathroom, quickly making himself presentable before slipping into the clean t-shirt he had already put on twice before and that had been promptly removed and thrown on the floor twice over. Then, he quietly picked a pair of white sketchers and sat on the edge of the bed to put them on.

Erika wanted so bad to pretend everything was ok. They just spent a couple of hours having fun, ignoring responsibilities to just fool around with each other, yet the air between them was suddenly frosty. She still faked it. She was so good at it. She pulled her stool back in front of the table and sat back down, looking at herself in the mirror. 

She was a mess. Her makeup needed to be re-done. She needed a thick mask to cover up all the hurt showing in her eyes.

“Is it Will?” Kyle finally broke the silence. “Actually, don’t answer to that. I know whatever is going on with you is connected to Will. I am not stupid.”

Erika closed her eyes and looked away, hiding from her own reflection and Kyle’s gaze in the mirror. “We don’t have time for this.”

“We do. Passport control takes ages,” Kyle reminded her. “Erika, please, it’s me. Tell me. I need to know if I did something wrong, somehow?”

“You didn’t. You never would,” Erika turned over to him, “But please, I am begging you, I can’t deal to talk about Will.”

“Did he hurt you?” His voice was suddenly so severe it scared her.

“What!?” She shook her head, “No! Of course, not.” Despite the fact that he hadn’t acknowledged her for days now and that distance between them was hurting more than she could ever say.

“Then what? What happened the other night that made you have such a change of heart? I thought you enjoyed yourself.”

“I did,” Erika needed to reassure him. Now more than ever she noticed the frustration he felt in his inability to reach her. There was something tormenting him in and now he wasn’t hiding how desperately he wanted to fix whatever was hurting her.

Erika got up and quickly moved to him. Her hands moved around his face without her even thinking about it, she needed to touch him to make contact. “I did enjoy myself. I wanted it.” Erika had to fight not to let memories flood into her mind.

“Then what is it? I left you your space and I don’t mean to overstep, but I thought you’d take a moment and then you’d look for me. But you haven’t. You are shutting me out.”

“I am not,” she knew he was right and still proceeded to deny it, “I did look for you.”

“When? You are over there and I am over here, I feel you slip away through my fingers.”

Erika took his hand and pressed it against her own chest, letting him feel her taking a deep breath. “I just did. I do it all the time.”

Kyle shook his head. “Sex isn’t enough anymore, Erika. I need to know what’s going on in your head. In your heart. I can’t take it anymore, please tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how to fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” she shook her head, “It will pass. It doesn’t matter.”

“It clearly matters. It matters to you. It matters to me. And it matters to Will.”

Erika chuckled sarcastically, shaking her head. “Well about that I doubt.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means nothing. Kyle, please,” she huffed, trying to regulate her emotions in a way that wasn’t falling into an argument with the only person who didn’t deserve any of what she was throwing at him. “Go and pick up Mark. Let’s get through the party and then,”

“Then what? Will you talk to me then?”

“If I say yes?”

“I want to believe you.” Kyle looked up at her, defeated, “I need to believe you. But I don’t.”

“Ok, I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is talking about Will now.”

“You will have to deal with him sooner or later, he is going to come over.”

“Yes, I am aware.”

“I just don’t understand what happened. You just shut both of us out.”

“Kyle,” Erika shook her head, “please, I am begging you.”

He looked so hurt. And so precious. Erika felt the need to scream and break something. It wasn’t fair, he didn’t deserve being treated that way. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to do anything different. In her chest guilt and shame vibrated, twisting her stomach painfully.

“Right,” Kyle dropped it, “fine.” He got up and leaned in, softly kissing her forehead. 

“I am so sorry,” she whispered, looking away, trying to fight her tears and her own pain. She hated to put more weight on Kyle’s shoulders, especially since she had the impression he felt somehow responsible.

“When you are ready, I’ll be there,” he left her. “Get ready. I’ll be back soon.”

“Ok,” she whispered and watched him leave the bedroom feeling suddenly so lonely and lost.

She hated herself sometimes. She knew why she acted the way she did. She understood her ways and yet she wished she could snap her fingers and just stop being a prick. Especially with Kyle.

He left without saying goodbye and when she was left completely alone, Erika stood in the middle of her bedroom for an ungodly amount of time, just looking at nothing, spacing out into her own doubts and despair.

When she realised she was so cold she was shivering painfully, she decided it was time to get a grip. To not let her brain take over and ruin her completely, she put some music on letting the living room speakers play loud, as she hopped in the shower, hoping to wash her problems off her skin.

An hour later she had all the arrogance to lie even to herself and think she was stronger than ever. Able to tackle anything. Everything was fine. It was still her favourite prayer. 

She had decided to melt her nerves helped by a shot of tequila to get her going. Her make up was done. Her hair fixed. She looked pretty, expensive and unbothered, just like she wanted. A perfectly executed mask. She only pretended she was wearing a cute outfit she casually picked, when she had the specific plan to be looked at.

Will was going to be there and she had every intention of getting his attention, one way or the other. It became a matter of pride. If he was doing everything in his power to ignore her and pretend nothing happened, she was set to make it as difficult as humanly possible for him. She needed to win. It was easier to think it that way than sulk. She was done being passive to her own pain. She wanted answers and she would have got them by the end of the evening. 

She even had the time to get the ambiance around the apartment just right to host a small gathering and just double checked with the catering that they’d be on time to set up before their friends arrived. 

When the doorbell went off, she gasped with surprise, fooling herself she could act completely cool. Everything was fine.

She hopped across her apartment on her tippytoes, still not wearing shoes. She was hoping it could be Kyle and Mark already even though she knew it was way too early. After picking Mark up from the airport, which was a potential forty-five minutes’ drive in traffic, Kyle was supposed to drop Mark back at his own place before driving him back there. It couldn’t be them. Plus, Kyle had the keys to get in the house. But she still answered the door with the same enthusiasm and expectations. 

“Hello,” she chirped, “come on up. Fifth floor,” she explained, realising it was probably the much less exciting catering guys coming in to set up.

Erika was still fiddling with her golden hoop earrings when she opened the door, ready to welcome their hired employees with a big smile. In the background played Rich Girl, by Daryll Hall and John Oates. “Hi, welcome,” as soon as her eyes set on the person standing by the entrance, she choked. Her smile hanged on her lips, and slowly froze when she realised, she wasn’t going to welcome Kyle or her brother and neither it was the catering. 

“Will,” she frowned, her throat sealed shut. It was the first time she saw him in days. She hid behind the door, trying to hold herself up. She had been doing such a good job, she couldn’t crumble the first second they interacted. “What are you doing here?”

He had his hands dug deep into his trousers and was looking straight at the floor, doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact. “Mark’s party. I was invited, remember?” 

The monotone in his deep voice drove her insane, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to slam the door in his face or choke him out more.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. I know. I mean this early.”

He shrugged. “I can come back if you prefer,”

Erika widened the door, sliding to the side and signing him to come in. “Don’t be stupid. Kyle and Mark aren’t here yet though.” 

She did everything in her power to maintain her decorum. If she wanted to survive that evening, she needed to rise above. And yet, she already couldn’t think clearly. 

As Will entered her home, awkwardly looking around, she inhaled deeply his scent. She was taken by a primal need for her to know what perfume he was wearing. But it went deeper than that as she realised what she was looking for was the smell of his skin, bare, sweaty and marked by sex.

It was beyond her. Memories hit her stronger than ever. She felt his callous hands on her skin, his ghostly fingers traced her body, making her doubt what was reality and what was dream. She could still taste his mouth on her tongue just as clearly as she could feel his curly hair in between her fingers. Just like she was still in his arms, she could feel the pressure of his hold, or the weight of his body on hers.

It was excruciating. Unbearable. Made her want to rip her hair out and run away, never to come back. But mostly, it made her feel so small and insignificant. She wouldn’t have made it. 

She wanted him so bad it hurt in places she wasn’t aware could hurt for a person.

Will still didn’t look at her. “Do you have any booze?”

“Fridge for beer or wine, and mixers, don’t touch the bubbly. Freezer for vodka. Wine rack for more wine and tequila. Knock yourself out.” She turned around, pretending she didn’t care. Maybe she could have hidden in the bedroom until someone else arrived? 

No.

She had promised herself she’d stop being a coward and a prick and would handle the situation. And that was actually the perfect occasion to get what she wanted.

“I’m gonna finish getting ready. Mind letting the catering people in when they arrive?”

“Sure.” She heard him pop a beer open.

She wondered if he was looking at her then. She hoped he was. She was ready for a fight. She was ready to get it over with because she couldn’t take to have that awful, awkward situation hanging above her life, shaving off happiness from her current relationship. But, deep down, she was still naively hoping to get what she wanted. Which was Will.

She turned around, deciding to get to her best weapons immediately. First artillery fire. She leaned against the bedroom doorframe, looking directly at Will, ignoring how intensely he was studying every title in Kyle’s collection of pop-punk vinyl CDs. She didn’t know him to have ever been that interested in that music genre before.

“Do you like my dress, Will?” She wondered casually and watched his reaction with a dangerous, magnetic smile printed on her lips.

She watched avidly how he stiffened, raising his head and widening his shoulders, which only made her ego grow. Will didn’t move for the longest couple of seconds as his eyes traced up on the wall in front of him. He didn’t dare to look back but his eyes did move on the dozen frames patching up the wall retracting professional pictures of wrestling matches. Only the best of her work, exposed like in a gallery. Will had more than one spot on her wall. Now she was starting to understand why she liked to portray him so much.

“Don’t ignore me.”

He hissed, clearly bothered by her voice. “I am not.”

“So?”

“I dunno. Doesn’t matter what I think, does it?”

“It does if I am asking.”

He huffed and then hid behind his beer, taking two good gulps of it before just shaking his head. “Sure. You look very nice. But you know that. So, why bothering asking me?”

“How would you know? You haven’t even looked at me once.”

Will tutted and let his head fall back, releasing some of his frustration in a huff. He was still not facing her. “I am not playing your game, Erika.”

“Look at me, Will.” She ordered, summoning all her strength not to let any of her desperation show. She wanted to sound authoritative and not like a little scared girl who just wanted to be held. Somehow it made sense in her mind that that could be her best plan.

It seemed like he was willing to fight her. For a split second he held his position, without daring to move. He was holding his breath. But then, something gave in and he did turn. Not completely, as if he was still trying not to expose himself to her. But he did. And when he did, his eyes sliced through her like daggers, severe and detached. She didn’t recognise the cold in his gaze and kept stumbling in the fear that she was continuing to make mistakes.

That moment was the first that Erika realised it wasn’t only about the sex anymore. She wasn’t only looking at a man that couldn’t recognise being the same who held her so tenderly. But she also couldn’t recognise the Will she had liked and respected for so long from before. Before everything, they had been friends for a long time. Years. They shared trips, work, holidays, accommodations, moments of their lives that will always connect them. And yet, she was now cut out of it.

She was hurting so bad.

But, for the life of her, Erika didn’t dare to show an inch of it. He didn’t deserve it.

If that’s how it had to be, then she was determined to make him regret his choices.

Will shrugged. “So? What am I supposed to look at?” She was the one who was hit. But Will wasn’t done. “Let’s do this like civil adults, shall we? I am here for Kyle and Mark, let’s get through this. In a couple of days, I’ll be on the road again in Japan.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Knowing he was going to be gone fairly soon disheartened her. It didn’t seem like she was going to prove any point, let alone win at anything. And he was going away soon, maybe that was it, that was her answer. Let it go, for everyone’s sake. 

“You know what I mean.”

“No.” Erika crossed her arms, willing to appear as defensive as possible, “I do not know what you mean, William.”

The smile he whipped out was pure scorn. He took her words like a cheap shot, shaking his head. “My, my, you must be very upset. I rattle you pretty bad, don’t I? Don’t worry. You stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours and everyone lives happily ever after.”

“You are such a cunt.” Erika scoffed, raising her chin high, “I wish I never met you.”

“Oh, don’t you worry darling, the wish is mutual.” 

He went right to the jugular. His words slipped her throat. She felt something severing inside of her. Her chest was empty and squeezed, she was unable to breathe.

She closed herself in her bedroom, leaving Will alone. 

What was she supposed to do now? 

That was answer enough. Will gave her exactly what she thought she wanted, and in the meanest way he could possibly think to clear any doubt she may have had. Only, it was nothing like what she had hoped for.

She wanted a drink so bad. Somehow, she thought alcohol could fuzz her rational thoughts and soothe her. The only problem was that Will stood between her and her booze and she had no intention to look at him ever again.

Damn it. Damn him.

Erika cried in silence, huddled on the floor like a desperate little girl who couldn’t even take rejection on the chin like a champ.

She had ignored hearing Will moving around her apartment, turning on the tv and even talk loudly on the phone. It didn’t matter what he was talking about, to her it mattered the way he laughed and chattered like nothing bothered him. Then, when the catering showed up, she still ignored him when he tried to ask for direction – again acting like nothing happened between them. He even knocked on her door a couple of times, and she still didn’t respond.

By that point, Erika's only concern was to pick herself back up, fix what Will had just broken and keep pretending. For Mark. For Kyle. For herself.

By the time she had fixed her makeup for the nth time that evening, the first guests started to arrive and that was her queue to waltz out of the bedroom and be the perfect, prettiest host. She could only hope Kyle and her brother would arrive soon.

[bfd614]

There was a knock on the door one night and “Lucy” my wife answered it. She was all dressed up, in this flowing maxi dress of bright pinks and yellows. The bright colors contrasted with her dark tanned skin. She had a date tonight with “Tom” a really nice guy she had met at the club a few weeks ago. They had been texting each other and had some lunch dates; but tonight was going to be an over night.

She opened the door and “Elizabeth” was standing there, Tom’s wife. They hugged and she came in. “What are you doing here?” I asked. We had met briefly but I didn’t know that Lucy and her were being friendly. I didn’t really know her well. She was an attractive woman, slightly older than us. She had short sandy brown hair and was rather petite and short. Especially standing next to my wife who was rather curvy and about my height.

Elizabeth was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a cream top. She had kicked her flip flops off at the door when she came in. She had a rather large bag over her shoulder that she set down with a small thud. She just smiled at me and said, “it’s date night silly” I was confused. I never went out on dates. Lucy had brought woman home with us and of course she did dates with other men like Tom. I didn’t do dates.

Lucy just kissed my cheek and whispered, “have fun and good luck. Tom told me she can be a real freak.” She giggled as she left the house. I stood there awkwardly before i had the thought of what to say, “I’ll go change quick and we can head out someplace. I’m sorry I don’t have anything planned I wasn’t aware that this was happening tonight.”

“That’s ok.” She said as she picked her bag up and pulled a bottle of wine out, “we can stay in and watch a movie and get to know each other a little bit.” I just nodded my head. I opened the wine and poured two glasses, I checked the fridge and didn’t see much so I just ordered some delivery from my phone and soon we had a movie on and sitting together.

“I’m really sorry again, I don’t really do the dating on our end.” I explained sheepishly. “Oh I don’t date much either. Every know and then. Tom is a wonderful husband and lover and I don’t feel the urge to participate the way he does.” I could understand that feeling perfectly. Lucy and I have a great marriage and we have a great sex life.

“I enjoy the joy Lucy has with the lifestyle. The occasional extra person makes things exciting but I’ve grown to appreciate the times between new partners better.” I explained to my dinner date. There seemed to be a level of understanding in her eyes that made me think I had struck a chord with what I had said. Very quickly after that we were cuddling each other and enjoying the time.

Discussions about how we each got started in the lifestyle and about life in general lasted for hours. We had our dinner and played several movies but nothing we paid any attention too. Before I know it, it’s almost midnight. I checked my phone and saw the normal checkin texts I get on date night.

Elizabeth pulled her phone out and saw similar texts and just smiled at her phone and put it away. “ apparently our spouses are having a wonderful time. Tom sent me a video of the two of them. Would you like to see it?” I nodded my head and she pulled her phone back out and played the video.

The video showed Lucy in her dress on her knees blowing Tom and looking at the camera. Sounds of a man’s pleasure could be heard and she moved her lips farther down him and a small gag escaped her. She stood up and her dress dropped around her exposing her naked body. Sounds of kissing could be heard and my wife’s voice saying “your turn.”

The video shook for a second and finally stopped with Lucy lowering herself onto Tom’s face. She was holding the camera showing us the whole view of what was happening. Her eyelids fluttered as Tom started licking her and a wicked smile shown on her face when the video stopped.

“That looks absolutely lovely.” I said completely engorged by the video. Elizabeth smiled and clearly noticed my excitement as she ran a hand over my lap feeling me. I leaned over and kissed her and she kissed me back. She continued to rub me through my jeans and I scooped her up in my arms, a squeak of shock vibrated my lips as we still kissed. she only weighed 100 pounds. I started to cart her to my room when she paused and reached for her bag. I bent over and she grabbed it.

“I need to freshen up.” She breathed, her face flush. I set her down and she went into the bathroom. I thought to set the mood and hastily lit some candles and moved to clear the bed. Hearing the door open I turned around and saw her standing there completely naked. Her pale skin was smooth and once sharp figure was a little softer with age.

She moved with a feline grace that immediately hypnotized me. She stood on her tip toes and place her hands on my face. A gentle kiss of the lips, almost hesitant. “It’s been awhile since I was with someone other than Tom. He’s been dating and I normally just get a hotel when he has an over night.” Her tongue licked over her lips. Nervous energy replacing the confidence of earlier.

“Lucy encouraged me to come here tonight. She said you were a sweet man who would be gentle if I needed you to be gentle.” Another kiss, this one deeper, filled with longing and hunger, “I don’t want gentle.”

I picked her up from the floor and almost threw her onto the bed. She landed with a laugh and covered her face with her hands. I leaned over her kissing her breasts and body. I spread her legs and touched her feeling the heat off her body and her wetness. I got on my knees and started to taste her and tease her. She quickly had her first orgasm. Her body went rigid and she tried to pull away from my face but I kept with her.

Finally she relaxed and was breathing hard. She giggled at herself and propped herself on her elbows. “Why do you still have pants on?” She made the question seem like a demand and gave me the come hither motion with her finger. As I was fighting with a very stubborn belt, she laid back down and started to play with her self.

The view of her spreading everything for me to see drove me wild. Finally my pants hit the floor and I climbed up next to her on the bed. I reached for my bedside table and pulled a box of condoms out looking to put one on. She grabbed the box and flung it and its contents across the room.

“I’m allergic to latex and on birth control. You have nothing to worry about.” She said as she climbed onto of me. She grabbed me and stroked slowly. Running her hands across my tip. Finally she settled her hips and pushed down on me.

It felt amazing. We both groaned with need. Her hips moved back and forth slowly. My hands moved over her soft skin. Pinching her nipples I could feel her clench around me and soft purrs echoed in the room. The flickering candle light added to the intensity of the moment.

I pushed her back wards and little and she placed her hands on my knees for balance her head was thrown back and her body looked lean. I placed one hand on her pelvis and played with her clit while I pushed my hips into her.

“Oh my god, I’m going to cum again.” She said as her tempo increased. As I felt her start I grabbed both hips and started to push as hard and fast as I could. Her eyes went wide as she tried to keep her balance from the sudden change of pace. Her screams just drove me to go harder. She fell forward onto my chest panting and twitching.

She pulled her hair out of her eyes and kissed me again. I could feel her heart beating through her chest. She gathered some composure and rolled off of me and spread out in the bed. Sweat was glistening on her body as she tried to cool off for a moment.

“Can you grab my bag for me? There’s something I need.” She asked between breaths. Bringing her the bag she sat up and started to rummage through. “How about some water?” I asked moving to the bathroom. “Wine would be better.” I heard her say. So I went out and got the wine.

She gulped the wine down. “Wine helps with the next part.” She said sheepishly. I looked confused as she handed be a bottle of lube. She was practically dripping already I’m not sure why we need lube.

She rolled over and stuck her bare ass in the air. “I want you to fuck my ass” she said playfully. “I’m sorry, you want what?” I clarified not believing my ears. “I want anal sex. I want you to put lube in me and on you and I want you to push your dick as deep as you can in my ass.”

I stood there a second trying to compute what she said. Lucy and I tried before but she never liked it and I wasn’t sure what I was doing. “I don’t want to hurt you. I am not sure what I should do in that position.” Nervous I sounded like a scared little boy.

“Well you could start with putting some lube on your hands and just fingering me. Then when I tell you to, you just push inside me slowly. Once I get warmed up and stretched, I want you to fuck me like you did just now.”

“Um, that was pretty intense. Won’t that be uncomfortable?” Concerned I could hurt her if I’m not careful. “Just listen to me and do what I say, I’ll be fine. Anal makes me cum very hard” she wiggled her butt impatiently.

I did as I was told and started with a finger. The taboo of what I was doing made the experience that much better. She responded to my touch with soft words of encouragement and gentle sounds of enjoyment. She would tell me to add more lube when she needed it. I played with her pussy and clit with my other hand and the sounds of enjoyment were more constant and deeper.

“Stop teasing me, I need you inside me.” She begged me. Excited, I moved behind her and grabbed myself as she pushed back on me. The resistance was intense and slightly uncomfortable. Then suddenly it was gone and a gasp came from Elizabeth. She stopped pushing back and took some deep breaths. “You ok?” Checking in.

She nodded her head and started moving back and forth slowly. The movements timed with her breathing. I could feel her relax and she pushed all the way back. “Oh my god oh my god” she repeated breathlessly.

Long slow strokes where I pushed all the way in. She gripped the pillow in her hand every time I bottomed out. A small squirt of lube applied made a world of difference. Then she started to say “faster” and I would speed up “harder” she would say and I would go harder.

“I’m going to cum soon.” She screamed. “Spank me. Spank me like a slut” I slapped her butt. “HARDER!” I hit her again this time leaving a mark on her. She arched her back in pleasure. I kept at it. “I’m cumming. I’m cumming” she yelled and i spanked her.

I was starting to feel the urge cum “you’re going to make me cum Elizabeth” I told her. She purred and started pushing back into me. Faster and faster she went. “Cum in your slut.” She whispered. I pushed as far inside her as I could and paused and spasmed as I came inside her.

We lay there panting for some time cooling off when she said she was taking a shower. I joined her as we kissed and cleaned each other up. I was spent. We went to bed and slept all night. Maybe we will have round two in the morning.

[twen-nee7]

i’m exhausted, hello diary blog.

i broke up with my cishet male partner the first week of january, fulfilling my joking resolution of no more sex with cis het men. he was lying to me for who knows how long about where he was, and has since sent me pictures every single day … and his family members have been more active on facebook as well, apparently now unburdened by me not knowing where he was. really fucking cool.

that was a seven-year relationship.

my best friend of sixteen years stepped in after when i said i wasn’t sure what i was going to do, since i need some kind of structure imposed by another person in order to function and not go out and do stupid shit. i joked i was only staying with my ex for so long because i’d go feral otherwise. it wasn’t really a joke. i harbored internalized issues with that relationship for a long time, but i still hold no ill will to my ex. we are friends. i love him very much still as my friend. (perhaps i am too forgiving.)

regardless, my best friend stepped in and offered that structure. we were queerplatonic partners to some extent for years before this, but we operated under the fact that my ex would not allow them into our relationship due to him, once again, being straight (of course cishet men often disregard AFAB NB people’s gender in their sexuality, my friend being transfemme in many ways was still unacceptable to him); regardless, we had shared finances and an unbreakable bond. we’ve talked daily longer than our youngest siblings have been alive.

understandably, i was unwell so i was quite quiet with friends who are not as close. my friend, who i’ll just name as ellie here so it’s easier for me to talk this way, is my family and was my partner in many ways that my ex was not. of course i spoke with them. they are my best friend!

apparently, though, i needed to be more clear to people about my fucking exclusions list. apparently, i was supposed to say, “hey, sorry, i’m not feeling well and may not be talking much to anyone but my mom and my best friend okay?”

is this not implicit? for fucks sake, the people i’m about to get into are older than me. one is almost forty. why are we acting like this is middle school? the fuck is wrong with you people?

but, i’m getting ahead of myself …

over the time that ellie and i worked within a new dynamic, it became clear that we needed to formally state ourselves as partners. not due to romantic attraction (we are both aro), but because it was obvious we would be operating as a “couple” going forward. note: we are not monogamous, but are the stereotypical transish queer people who would be in a communal polycule of gay.

this was good and helpful and they have been absolutely amazing! i love them so much <3 and through their help, i have been able to slowly start reaching out again.

let’s start with subject one: the “convention guy” (CG).

i met cg at a mlp convention. he is pleasant and very nice! but very into me. which is okay, i am always very forward about being poly and being comfortable with casual sex outside of that. when we met, he knew i was in a long-term, committed relationship (i generally referred to my ex as my fiance), and this was fine. at the airport, i gave him a poker chip that said “1 fuck” on it as a joke and to signal that I wouldn’t mind a bang session. i thought i made it very clear i wasn’t interested in a relationship with him outside of being friends and fucking occasionally. apparently not.

he reached out to me and has been very kind as i’ve been struggling. i cannot overstate enough that his part of this hurts me more than the other person’s, because i value him as a friend and he is genuinely such a kind person. but he was really confrontational a couple days ago when i told him ellie and i are more formally dating. he seemed angry! he demanded to know why i talked to ellie instead of him… i’ve known him for less than six months. he was clearly upset i wasn’t talking to him.

i apologized and said it wasn’t personal, that ellie has been my friend for almost twenty years, but apparently this didn’t matter. he was upset. i feel so bad. i do. i feel like i have fucked up as a person, sent mixed signals, got his hopes up… i… i hate this. i feel like i could have lost a friend. it hurts.

but also the audacity. the audacity to think he is on the same level of someone that is family to me? he doesn’t know me. he doesn’t know half of what is wrong with me. i keep so much of myself hidden because it’s nasty and hard to deal with — ellie has seen it. my ex has seen it, and i even was talking to him during this period which set CG off. he isn’t entitled to my time or my attention, and he has scared me from being open with people with this behavior. it hurts.

the other person is a guy i met off whisper, and i’ll just call him W.

W & i met shortly after CG and i met. we’ve never met in person like CG and me. W & i had a purely sexual relationship through shared kinks, etc., but we didn’t talk normally all that much. at the time i met him, he knew i wasn’t single. he talked to me three times before the end of the year, then started talking to me more and more after i told him i broke up with my ex.

he’s an interesting person. broken in many ways, but i think he’s cool. i never insinuated that i was interested in a long-term relationship, especially since he’s monogamous. we talked about a sex holiday, though. god forbid i talk about fucking people, i guess.

he’s cut all contact and said it was because i was in a relationship and clearly didn’t want to talk to him. i explained it wasn’t personal, i just didn’t know him that well (and, seriously, we barely talked for months) and that i really wasn’t talking to anyone much. much like CG, he got mad because i was talking to ellie and not him. clearly that meant i wanted nothing to do with him.

i told him i understood and respected him cutting contact, but explained that i did want to talk to him and had been, in fact, talking to him more than some other people. i just still wasn’t feeling well, it wasn’t personal, and that i wanted him to understand that.

i feel so horrible that my lack of contact has clearly hurt people. i never want to hurt anyone.

at the same time, it feels like these two have just been trying to talk to me to be in a relationship with them. it feels predatory. and the fact they both thought they were owed my time during one of the hardest things i’ve gone through as an adult? are you fucking kidding me?

i just want friends. just friends. please.

i’m not sorry i’m a slut. i just need to figure out how the fuck to get it through people’s skulls that sex doesn’t mean anything of importance to me, and if it is something important to them, then don’t fuck me? isn’t it that simple? don’t fuck your friends you don’t want to fuck?? don’t just get involved with someone because you want to fuck? this isn’t rocket science. it still feels like my fault, and i’m still so guilty and hurt that i apparently hurt others.

[stickynotestoletters]

Izuku x Male Reader Smut

I'm a dirty slut, so .... yeah

Women DNI please :3

Warnings: you push friend boundaries in the fic but Izuku likes it so it's fine, bottom reader, top izuku, buff tan izuku, big tiddy izuku, God kink apparently, degradation, he calls you puppy, a bit of simp Izuku, breeding kink

Izuku wasn't a simp, okay? He was kind, he was courteous and pleasant to be around! But he always had boundaries with his friends and loved ones. Well....until he met you.

You see, Izuku had a not-so-obvious crush on you (shut it Bakugou). Ever since he met you at UA he kind of let you push any and all boundaries that he had put in place with his friends.

Now don't get the wrong idea! At first, when you both met in your first year at UA it was just little stuff! Like, using his clothes or borrowing a pillow. I mean that's what friends are for right? At least that’s what you told him.

He thought maybe he just needed to chill out and let loose his rules a bit. So you were a little friendlier about how you acted around him as opposed to your other friends, so what?

He could make an exception this once and that would be it!

But then you started getting even more comfortable.

And it was good! He was happy you were comfortable around him! It made his heart fly!

You were being a little touchier with him and it was just friendly stuff. Laying your head on his shoulder and in his lap or even just stroking his hair while you cuddle, but that's fine!

He likes it, he always has and always will!

You ask permission the first time you do these things and how could he resist sitting in the arms of a gorgeous man like you?

Then it stays that way for a while a little after UA.

You get a little bold every once in a while after that but it's nothing he can't handle.

He's working out and doing hero work so he has more things to focus on than his not so little crush anymore.

Even if he stays up at night thinking about all those touches. Thinking about your chapped lips and smooth skin beneath his hands. Thinking about your hands and how much he likes them. Likes them in his hair, massaging his shoulders. How much more he would like them if you tangled them in his hair and pull on it as he's fucking you into his mattress. How much he'd then like it for you to yell and scream his name as he absolutely pounds you into his sheets. How much he wants you to cry and scream his name until the neighbors bring noise complaints and you have a sore throat the next day from it.

So yeah. He doesn't have the time.

Until one night you show up to his door. It's late, almost 4 in the morning, about 2 hours after he comes home from his agency, and he just hears these little knocks on the door. He thinks it's the rain at first until he gets a text from you asking him if he's up and if you could come in.

He's almost dressed and ready for bed but for you, he'd sacrifice any amount of sleep to make sure you're okay at any time of the night.

He opens his door to find you drenched from the rain. And he means soaked. You're shivering in these nice little skinny jeans and a white T-shirt. You're sobbing and your hair is spilling water onto his doormat. "Hey Izuku, is it-is it okay if I come in?"

He can hear just how congested you are, it seems like you've been crying for a while. "Yeah, just let me-let me get you a towel, are you okay?" You start sobbing in front of him and he gives you the towel as he comes back."Never mind, that was obviously a stupid question, come on in and go get a shower."

You're nice and warm by the time you come back to the kitchen, he's made you shower and given you some food. So now you two sit down on his couch and he holds you close to him. he's not saying anything and neither are you, but you know he wants you to talk about it."So, I kinda had a breakdown about some relationship stuff right now." You guys laughed at the obviousness of it.

"Did you want to talk about it?" He looks at you laying down on his chest, tangling your legs with his, in his shirt, in his pants. God he wished you would-

"Kinda, I don't have to if you don't want me to." He shook his head to the sides and you sighed deeply," I knew you would say that, okay, it's kinda embarrassing if I'm being honest."

He laughed at you, "Nothing could be more awkward and embarrassing for me to listen to than when you told me, in detail, about your crush on Bakugou." You contorted your face in distaste at him and he just kept laughing.

"Bakugou is hot and I stand by all that I said asshole." You shook your head. "But I was very embarrassing."

It got quiet again and you put your face in the crook of his neck. "So, I figured out that I ....fuck okay so...." You move back to face him and stare at him in the eyes. "Don't laugh but I realized I only want a sexual relationship with someone at the moment. I started crying because I felt like I'd been lying to myself and I've just been under a lot of stress lately." Your blush is not less bright than his at all and he can't do anything but avoid your pretty little face looking at him than to push you into his chest and look up at his wonderfully beautiful ceiling he's never had the time to admire before this.

"You could have said that to me without the weird eye contact but whatever, go on."

You laugh hysterically, a little high on your emotions, "Okay hear me out. I'm a hero right? And using a loved one as leverage is a very classic villain plan. So I thought that was why I didn't want a relationship. Now I figured out it's just the stress! I want something like that eventually but right now? I just want something with someone to destress."

You move your head up to look at him and he moves his hand away from the back of your head, his emotions are going haywire right now. What is he supposed to say to that??? Do you want him to find someone for you to hook up with or???? And then he realizes-"I am not setting you up with Bakugou-"

"-OH MY GOD SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY IT WAS A ONE-TIME THING." You shake your head and laugh incredulously at him. "I'm allowed to be attracted to people who aren't good for me okay? Is it really that bad?" Izuku rolls his eyes at you, "Yes. Yes, it is."

You roll your eyes back at him," Whatever that's not what I wanted to ask anyway." you scooch up onto his chest a bit more and put your hands under your chin as you look into his eye with your best pleading face." Would you do me the honor of being my destresser?"

He could explode right now.

Like seriously what?

".....You want me to what now???"

"Would you rather I phrase it differently?"

"To make sure we're on the same page yes-"

"Fuck the stress out of me buff man."

"Jesus Christ." He practically lifts you off of him like a doll,"If you were going to prank me like this," he sets you onto his couch and walks to his bathroom to go wash the heat off his face, "do it over text next time."

You follow him into the bathroom," It's not a prank! I'm for real okay? Look-" he looks puts his head further near the sink, he doesn't want you to see his red face,"-the way I see it is we're both busy as fuck. We both are mature adults looking for something intimate, which you have not found yet may I add, that could both put someone in danger otherwise." He scrubs his face and takes a deep breath, turning his water off and looking at you calmly.

"Okay, first of all, fuck you. Second of all, why me then?" He knows he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth but he's not going to do this if it's just for the fun. He wants to actually mean something to you other than someone to fuck. "You could have chosen any one of our other friends. So why me?"

You grab his hands and lift them to your lips,"Izuku, I care about you so much. You're one of my closest and best friends in the entire world and I am so lucky to have you. You have supported me in any way you possibly could, and I hope that I've done the same for you. So I want us to support each other as much as we need in this." You look him in the eyes," Plus you could snap me in half and are one of the only people I could fight that has the stamina to keep going at me."

".....you're so fucking lucky I like you. Fine! Okay fine."

"YES!"

So for the rest of the night(morning?), you two plan out how this is going to work. Rules, boundaries, kinks (by god he's going to need a break), and what times you guy can and can't.

It works well actually. Better than Izuku expected. He's just ecstatic he gets to finally hold you.......until he doesn't.

Now Izuku knows you two discussed boundaries and the fact you can call each other practically any time but for the next week, he seriously couldn't get the mind power to just swallow his fears and call you up. Not to say he wasn't thinking of you, by god he did that every single day even more since then, he just didn't want to bother you.

But then you called him. It was 11 pm and you were very horny. He picked up the phone and immediately just, "Hello?"

"I need you to plow me into my mattress it's been a week, come over as soon as you can, I'll be waiting sir-"

And that was the end of the call. Your house is like 20 minutes away from his but he somehow made it there in 10. He didn't even text you he was coming, so you thought he was busy.

So you were just on your couch, scrolling on your phone until a rushed knock at the door, you opened it, and were immediately kissed on the mouth.

Just a whole ass surprise makeout, he holds you up in his arms and pushes you against the door. You pull away to breathe and just look down to see this large monster of a man pressing his massive chest to yours, heaving so out of breath like he'd just ran a marathon (he practically did). Just staring up at you so desperately, you're not going to lie it was a nice view. You laugh a bit hysterically as he kisses you repeatedly. Then he works his way to your neck, still holding you up with his arms but fondling your chest and ribcage. He nips your neck and sucks so hard you're sure to have some nice little hickies in the morning. You moan as he pulls on your nipples and rubs your pecs in his hands.

Your mind goes fuzzy as you hear him whisper, "Dirty little slut left me with nothing after your little call. Think it was funny?" He kisses your neck again, licking down to your collar bone, "Think it's funny to leave me with nothing? Just the thought of this dirty little pup begging me to come over?"

You moan into a laugh at the fact he seems more desperate for this than you are. "Laughing now are we?" You immediately quiet down, his hands travel to your waist, and grinds his leg into your crotch.

"Oh gods-" He pushes into you again as you moan,"-f-fuck!"

"Damn puppy. Didn't know you had such a dirty little mouth. Why don't you show me how you use that little mouth when I actually get started with you."

He takes you into your bedroom, pressing your hard dick against his own and sucking on your neck even more.

You pant heavily onto his shoulder shaking from anticipation as he brings you into your room.

He pushes you down on the bed into a folded missionary position. You're hazy and in hysterics, as he talks more, "God, look at you! What a fucking slut for me. Come on puppy look me in the eyes and tell me what you want."

You look up and his smile is devious. It's alluring. He's practically ravishing you with his eyes. He’s taking your clothes off and feeling you up, “Your tastey skin, so smooth and soft. Do you know what I’m gonna do to it puppy?” Your head is swimming with full unbridled warmth and lust, you can’t even respond so he takes your face in his hands and makes you look at him,” I’m gonna mark you up so well, give you all the hickies and bites I want to put on you until you’re barely unbruised. How does that sound?”

You yell out, “Yes! YES! Puppy will be good for you please? Want it so bad.” He laughs at your responses, leaving your naked body vibrating on the bed and he moves away to take his own clothes off. His toned muscles flexing without meaning to as he takes his shirt and pants off of himself. Sliding his boxers down his toned calfs.

You stay laying there, letting out hysteric laughs and panting as he stretches you out with his fingers. And he keeps his promise, biting and niping all over your thights and stomach. You fall from your hysterical high as he pulls his mouth away until he takes your dick in his mouth and you’re pushed all the way back up the hill, arching your back and crying out for him as you grab the head board.

God you haven’t been so sensitive since you don’t even remember when. He’s sucking you off and his fingers are reaching just the right spots in you. Sliding onto his fingers down to the knuckle of his pointer and middle finger, flexing and massaging just the right spot, just until he takes a deep breathe. Then he takes all of you into his mouth and presses down on your most sensitive spot,” OH GOD, FUCK! Yes~ IZUKU PLEASE, I’M CUMMING!”

You cream into his mouth so hard. He pulls himself up off the mattress and off your dick once he finished sucking it all out of you. He licks the rest off his lips and hums in delight,” You taste better then I’ve ever imagined.” Ah, you blush so red as he said this. You think to yourself, he was just saying it for dramatic effect. For the moment! It couldn’t possibly be true....

God if only you knew how true that is from him.

He pulls some of the excess cum off your dick and you shiver a bit at his fingers grazing your tip. His magic hands. And he brings them to lube his dick back up,” Gonna fill my puppy with their own cum, how about it, slut?”

His eyes are crazy, this is a whole new side of Izuku you’ve never seen from him. And by the gods above are you excited to see it.

He presses your legs down so they’re almost flat by your arms and climbs up halfway atop your thighs. He slides himself into you and,” f-f-UCK!” He’s fucking huge.

Your partners have been quite average in the past. Nothing to scoff at but not as big as Izuku. You feel lightheaded as he pushes himself all the way in. “Look at you, my pathetic little puppy, breaking on my dick. Not even halfway there pup, but I’ll be nice this time.” He stops and you thank god and curse at him as well. You feel like you’re gonna be ripped apart yet you still crave so much more.

He gives you a second to catch your breathe, then he leans over, presses your legs farther, and starts pounding into your pretty little hole. Absolutely destroying your insides. You’re crying and whimpering and all it does is drive him to go faster and harder. To milk all those pretty little sounds out of your pretty little mouth. You’re crying on his dick and it fuels his ego,” You’re crying already? God look at you, so pretty and stupid on my dick. Such a good useless pup. Never had dick this good. Are you seeing god or something pup?”

His smirk is returned with teary eyes looking up at him, drooling at him,” Ye-ugh fUck-yes God, love your dick so much.” Oh fuck. That’s new.

It was so hot, imagining you praying and worshipping “your God’s” dick. Izuku being rode by you as you cry out for your God.

He laughs hard and leans down to get a better grip on the sheets, stopping for a moment, and then pounding you into the mattress. It felt like he was trying to hammer you down into the mattress to press you hard enough you’d become one with it. “That’s right baby! Ahaha! You feel so good I’m your god? My little puppy’s so dumb on their god’s dick right?”

You cry out to him, repeating over and over,” God! My God! Please god!” And you cum hard, over and over on his dick for the rest of the night. Orgasming and being fucked through your over sensitivity again and again and again until dawn. He finally gives in after getting his fill of filling you up.

God, he was definitely the right one to go to.

And all Izuku could think about you as he cleaned up and got ready to go to sleep with you was how fucking thankful he was you broke all his boundries for him. And accepting the fact that yes, he is the biggest simp for you.

————

-Laika

[storiesforallfandoms]

proposition ~ corpse husband

word count: 1880

request?: no

description: in which her friend invites her to play video games with them and she decides to playfully proposition the stranger with the deep voice

pairing: corpse x female!

warnings: swearing

masterlist

You had been bored out of your skull until you got a message from Sean asking you to play Among Us with some of his friends. You had met some of his closest friends, like Felix and Mark, of course, but he made sure to warn you that there would be some new people in this group. While that made you a little anxious, you knew that playing a video game would help you to warm up to the new people.

Sean sent you a link to the Discord call and you joined almost immediately. You weren’t sure if anyone else was in the call, so you didn’t speak for a moment while you set up the game. It wasn’t until an unnaturally low voice spoke that you realized you weren’t alone.

“Hello?”

You jumped at the voice, shocked that just that one word made your heart race a million miles a minute.

“H-Hello?” you responded.

“Who’s this?” the voice asked.

“Who’s this?” You immediately cringed at the lame response.

The voice chuckled, another sound that made your heart race. “I asked you first.”

“I’m (Y/N),” you finally responded. “I’m friends with Sean.”

“Oh yeah, he’s mentioned you a few times. I’m Corpse, I’m friends with Dave and Felix.”

“Corpse?” you question. “Is that your real name?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

You couldn’t help but smile at this. You were shocked at how fast you were warming up to Corpse, but there was just something about him that was just so warm and welcoming.

The two of you talked for some time until Sean popped into the chat. “Geez, (Y/N), you fucking nerd. You’re so early.”

“I had no other plans tonight!” you argued.

Corpse’s low chuckle alerted Sean that he was in the chat as well. “Ah, (Y/N) I see you’ve met deep daddy.”

Your face burned with blush, although you weren’t sure why. “Wait, deep daddy? Please tell me you guys don’t actually call in that.”

“Jason does,” came the familiar voice of Felix as he joined the chat. “Can’t blame him, Corpse’s voice even makes me question my marriage with Marzia.”

The more people that joined, the more jokes that were made about Corpse’s voice and how upset they were that Corpse was playing because he was such a good imposter. You sat in silence, chuckling every now and then but never really speaking. Not like anyone was giving you the chance with how much they were yelling over one another.

You started missing talking to Corpse one on one, but you knew the game had to happen eventually. You just hoped that it would go better than you were expecting.

The first few games started with you as a crewmate. You were killed first in the first game by Sean, who immediately self reported and got voted out because of it. The second game, you made it three rounds before catching Toast kill someone and got him out. The third game, you were in the other room when Corpse killed someone and he blamed you, leading to you getting voted off.

By the time the fourth round came around, you were teamed up with Corpse as the imposter.

“Easy dub,” you commented to yourself. “He’s too good. He’s gotten imposter like three times in a row and no one has noticed.”

You followed Corpse for a while, pretending to do tasks with him. You walked into a room that had only Felix and Rae when your kill button was ready to go. At the same time, you and Corpse killed them both and raced out of the room.  You were about to kill Sean when Toast found Felix and Rae’s bodies.

“I don’t want to sound sus by pointing fingers,” he began, “but Corpse and (Y/N), you haven’t left one another’s sides all game. What the fuck?”

“I’m watching her back,” Corpse responded before you could say anything. “(Y/N) is so small and innocent, if she died on my watch I would never forgive myself.”

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself at this.

“You blamed her for your killing last game!” Leslie argued.

“That was last game! I’m not imposter now!�� Corpse responded.

“If Corpse was imposter I fully believe he would’ve killed me by now,” you added. “He has no reason to keep me alive.”

“Unless he likes you,” Jason singsonged, causing the group to all talk at once about you and Corpse.

“Get back to the game!” you called over them, even though the thought of Corpse potentially liking you made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

No one was ejected (Skipped).

You tried not to think about what everyone had been saying, but it was hard not to. You didn’t know what Corpse looked like, he made you aware that no one knew except for a select few YouTube friends, but you found yourself drawn to him. Sure, his voice was hot, but in the short time you two had to talk together you found that his personality was equally as attractive. 

The distraction caused you to forget what you were doing and almost kill right in front of Toast. You held your breath, hoping you hadn’t accidentally clicked on the mouse and absolutely decapitated Sean right in front of someone. When nothing happened, you quickly ran out of the room and as far away from them as possible.

Your phone chimed. You took your eyes off the screen for a moment to see that it was a private message on Discord from none other than Corpse himself.

“What was that about? 😂”

“I was distracted and almost killed Sean in front of Toast. Had to make a speedy exit.”

“What were you distracted by? 😉"

Lucky for you, another meeting was called before you could respond.

“Okay, for real (Y/N),” came Toast’s voice. “What the fuck is going on? You were just stood in admin with me and Sean, then suddenly you raced out, and now you’re just standing in the middle of the cafeteria not moving at all.”

“She’s distracted,” came Corpse’s voice before you could respond.

You felt your face heating up again. “I was distracted, by my dog. He’s currently at my feet with his toy. He keeps looking at me with his big eyes, it’s hard to concentrate.”

“Awe, send me a picture of the little guy! I miss him a lot!” Sean said.

No one was ejected (Skipped).

You took a deep breath and concentrated on the game. You decided to stick with Corpse again, only breaking off to make it look like you were fixing the sabotages that you were setting. You and Corpse managed to kill three other bodies, leaving you with one more to kill before winning. And you knew exactly who you wanted it to be.

You sent Corpse a quick message before going to look for Sean.

“Do not kill anyone, leave this to me”

Seconds later you got a response. “Aye aye captain.”

You entered electrical as Sean was doing a task. You walked up behind him and hit the kill button without hesitation. You watched your character cut his body in half before the victory screen came up for you and Corpse.

“I fucking knew it!” Toast exclaimed. “You guys were too sus!”

“What can I say, we make a good team, right (Y/N)?”

You smiled to yourself as you responded, “Yeah, we do.”

Everyone started talking the one time again, joking around with each other. You started feeling like you were fading into the background again, which normally you’d be okay with, but you were starting to feel more comfortable with the group. You wanted to feel more comfortable with Sean’s friends, especially with Corpse.

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. You smirked to yourself as you declared into your mic, “Guys! Guys, I have something I wanna say! Everyone, shush!”

The talking soon died down as everyone listened to you intently. Your heart was hammering in your chest, but you knew there was no backing out of it now.

“I have a proposition for Corpse,” you said, which was met by cheers and exclamations of excitement. When everyone silent down again, you took a deep breath and forced the words out before you chickened out. “Corpse, are you single?”

You heard his low chuckle through the voices talking excitedly. “I am single, yes.”

“Good to know.”

There was a silence as everyone waited to see if you’d follow up on your comment. When you didn’t, Sean exclaimed, “What was the proposition?!”

“Wouldn’t you guys like to know,” you said with a knowing smirk to yourself.

The game went on for another few hours before you finally had to call it a night. You said goodbye to everyone and exited the game. While shutting down your computer and getting ready for bed, your phone chimed. Another message from Discord.

“It was really nice meeting you tonight. We make a pretty good imposter team, you should play with us more often.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Corpse’s message. You felt like a giddy teenage girl as you got into bed, clutching your phone tightly in your hands.

“It was really fun, I’m glad Sean invited me. I’ll definitely come play more in the future if you guys want me!”

You saw the three dots pop up, showing that Corpse was typing. They went away a moment, then popped up again, then away again. This happened a few more times before another message came in.

“About that proposition...”

“What about it? 😉”

“Was just wondering how serious you were about it, or if there was an actual proposition at all.”

You looked at the message for a long time. Of course, at the time you didn’t think it was serious. It was just a fun joke at the expense of your friends. But now that he was asking...what did you say?

You thought about your message for a long time before typing, “I was as serious as you want me to be.”

There was an extended pause on Corpse’s end before he responded, “Well, I know we just met, but I’m pretty serious about it. I’d like to get to know you more. You seem like a really nice girl.”

“You seem like a nice guy.”

“Can I Skype you tomorrow?”

The question shocked you considering what he had told you earlier. “You’re willing to show me your face?”

“Only a select few know what I look like, I trust you to be one of those few.”

Your heart fluttered yet again as you typed your response. “Well then, I’d love to Skype tomorrow. I’ll send you my name so you can add me.”

You laid back in bed after adding Corpse to Skype, feeling excited for the next day. You could hardly sleep now thinking about what you’d get to do in almost 12 hours time. It felt like too far away, you wanted to call him right then and there.

Just as you were starting to drift to sleep, your phone chimed again. You checked it one last time before bed to see a final message from Corpse.

“Goodnight, see you tomorrow”

“Goodnight Corpse, see you tomorrow”

[gummybearzgocrazyagain]

might have fucked around and transcribed like half of katya and trixie’s podcast harvey went on a few months ago, and there were some straight up gems; go off king 💅

harvey on his joining the cast and meeting kayvan for the first time:

“i just remembered i’ve never had a chemistry [read] with kayvan, it was sunday i got the call [...] and wednesday i was on set, we were starting to shoot the pilot, and i’ve never had a chemistry [read] with kayvan. and i met him and was like “please make this work”, and i just met him, and we just talked, and i was like “omg”, i was like he’s such a wonderful comedian, actor, such a giving actor, that i was like, this could have gone easily, you know, the other way”

harvey on the s03 finale fight sequence:

“if you would have told me in the first week of filming that guillermo at one point would be kicking ass [...] and like be trying to attack nandor... because it’s emotion, he turned by an emotion, he is frustrated. what is that kind of love that he has with him? we don’t know. is it romantic? it’s yet to be shown, but there’s definitely... you know sometimes, you love someone so much, and it could be a friendship and you’re just trying to shake that nonsense out of them”

*me, freaking out all over the place - so it is to be shown, harvey, huh, IT IS TO BE SHOWNNNNNNNNNNNNN [with Holt’s “vindicationnnnnn” intone]*

trixie and katya on vamps’ haplessness:

“they’re like ancient babies“

dish about kayvan:

trixie and katya: “who’s the actor who plays nandor, what is his name?“

harvey: “kayvan” 

trixie and katya: [...] “he is so hot, i find him so fucking attractive, i... oh my god”

harvey: “he’s like honey to bees, every woman that passes by is like [...] and the worst part is he is so charming and nice, you almost wish that someone who was funny and [...] good looking be an asshole, but he is not, he’s literally the [...] nicest person ever, and you’re just like “yup [...] you’re a good guy, like, you’re a nice guy, and amazing, funny” like he’s like... i couldn’t ask for a better [...] scene partner, he’s [...] the best”

on whether guillermo would become a vampire, and what harvey wants for him:

harvey: “well i should say what i want for guillermo, is for him to be happy. i think he is finding it, i think he is going through a little bit of a crisis in the end of S3, when he like confronts nandor, and we also don’t know what that relationship is, we’re like, is he sticking around cause he wants to be a vampire, or is he sticking around because they need him, and he wants to be needed? [...] sometimes it’s good to be wanted, you know. and i feel like... i want him to get what he wants, and it might take a second, but overall i want him to be happy“

katya: [...] my interpretation is that guillermo is in love with nandor, it’s a co-dependent, unrequited [...], a little toxic relationship

harvey: yeah

katya: but it’s so sweet and lovely [...] and the fuel that drives it is the yearning, and not getting satisfied 

harvey: yeah, absolutely!

on the comeback of “creepy paper”:

harvey: “that wasn’t in the script!!” [...] “ it wasn’t in the script originally, and i threw it in, i didn’t think they were gonna use it!”

*he really be having to do everything himself around that house, huh*

harvey on who breaks the most on set:

“i would say most of my scenes recently or in the first three seasons were with kayvan, and so i would say kayvan breaks the most, because he is so fucking funny, but he always makes fun of me, because i am such a... you know, guillermo is grounded, and you know, not over the top. [...] and so i’m always really grounded, and its so hard to stay grounded in guillermo character all the time, and then here’s kayvan making a joke, and he laughs at his own joke, i’m like “stop”, and he’s just like “okay, i won’t do it, i won’t do it” and then he “ahhhaaaaaaa”, and he like breaks character, and just like laughs at his own joke, and i’m like... [...] we just had the take the other night [...] and like kayvan got the giggles, and just couldn’t stop laughing, and i was like “stop!“, cause then i start doing it too, and once i get going, it’s just tears down my eyes, and like i can’t stop. so it’s hard just to keep grounded as gullermo, and then on top of that, trying not to laugh at how hilarious is kayvan

*me, extremely alert: what do you mean in the first three seasons, king, so in season 4 most of your scenes are NOT with kayvan 😨😨😨😨 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, i don’t want to possess this cursed info*

nb: all the redacted parts are mainly word “like” harvey seems to overuse, which has actually endeared him to me even further, not sure how that’s possible, having already adored the dude

p.s the way he pronounces kayvan’s name sometimes as “kay-von”, and sometimes as “kee-von” is also too endearing, and he needs to stop with the uncontrollable levels of adorableness, or else

[criminalmindzjunkie]

Reassurance

masterlist

part one

Summary: Spencer feels insecure, and Reader puts his worries to rest. 

A/N: I got several requests to write a follow-up to Avoidance , and after writing almost the whole entire thing, only to scrap it all because it was literal trash, here we are! I initially planned to go a different route with this, but it didn’t flow right and I ended up changing the entire plot line somewhere along the way. I really like how this turned out, and I hope you guys enjoy it, too!

Pairing: sub!Spencer/femdom!Reader

Content warnings: cursing, Spencer being insecure, hand job, oral sex (male receiving), anal fingering, pegging, light degradation, Spencer experiencing sub-drop

Word Count: 6k

           Spencer’s lips drag against mine at a slow, deliberate pace as I sit perched on his lap, my hands tugging lightly at where his hair curls at the nape of his neck. One particularly harsh tug has Spencer gasping into my mouth and tightening his grip on my hips, pulling me down until I’m fully sat on his lap. The bulge tenting his slacks comes in full contact with my clothed core and I hum appreciatively against his lips.

           “Getting excited there, baby?”

           Spencer lets out a whine of protest when I pull away, leaning forward in an attempt to reunite our lips. I press my hand flat against his chest and push him back until he rests against the couch cushions.

           “I thought you wanted to watch a movie tonight?” I ask him, my lips curled up into a knowing smile. Spencer’s thumbs begin to rub soothing circles into my hips as he fixes me with a shy smile.

           “Maybe later,” he replies, sheepish. He looks breathtaking - bathed in the soft glow of the lamp light, shadows dancing across every perfectly chiseled inch of his face. Faint purple bruises dot the underside of his jaw line, remnants of the last time we had been afforded enough time to get tangled up under the bedsheets. I press my thumb to one of them, applying just enough pressure to cause Spencer’s breath to hitch. In another day or two, the purple and yellow discoloration would be gone, leaving no trace of our time together.

           I release my hold on his jaw and make a mental note to see to it that he has another set of pretty marks before the weekend is over.

           “Later?” I lift the hand that was splayed across his chest until I’m able to fiddle with the top button on his dress shirt. “You talk as if you have something else you’d like to do first. Care to share?”            Spencer squirms underneath my gaze, eyes flitting between my lips and where I’m pressed firmly against his erection. I watch him flounder to come up with a response before deciding to forgo words completely and rut himself against me, eyelids fluttering closed as he lets out a low whine.

           I click my tongue at him and raise up until my center hovers over him, torturously close but not quite close enough to touch.

           “What’s the matter, Doctor? It’s not like you to be at a loss for words,” I taunt as I pop open the last three buttons of his shirt. Now that the milky white skin of his chest is on full display, I waste no time in dragging my fingernails from his collarbone down to his navel, light and teasing. The action elicits a shiver from Spencer, who looks up at me with glossy eyes and blown pupils.

           “P-Please,” he stutters out.

           “Please, what?” I prod, cocking my head to the side. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

           Spencer’s tongue pokes out to run across his bottom lip.

           “I want you,” he breathes out, low and sultry. “Now. Don’t wanna wait.”

           I let out a pleased sigh as I lean forward to capture Spencer’s lips in a heated kiss. Spencer’s quick to reciprocate, eagerly licking into my mouth as soon as my lips brush against his.

           It’s not long until I feel the hands on my waist begin to tug me back down onto his lap, eliciting a giggle from me.

           “Such a needy little thing,” I murmur against his lips.

           Usually, a comment like this would be met by some sort of mumbled affirmation. But this time, as soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel Spencer’s whole body tense up beneath me.

           “Does… Does that bother you?”

           I pull away and give Spencer an inquisitive look.

           “Does what bother me?”

           Spencer averts his eyes, “That I’m so submissive.” He spits the word out like it burns his mouth – like it’s something to be ashamed of – and I can’t suppress my frown.

           “Why would that ever bother me?”

           Spencer gives a feeble shrug of his shoulders, still refusing to pull his gaze from where it rests on the floor.

           “I read an article in Psychology Today that discussed a survey in which 172 German adults completed a personality questionnaire and then measured their own preference for a dominant partner. Not only was the general consensus that both genders prefer dominant partners, the participants also agreed with statements like ‘a very nice partner is often boring’ and ‘I feel attracted to assertive partners.’ So, it’s only natural that you might get tired of me always being such a pushover and search for a more exciting partner than can keep you stimulated-”

           I clamp my hand down on Spencer’s mouth, effectively ending his self-deprecating rant and forcing him to look up from where his eyes were burning a hole into the floor. When I know he isn’t going to try and continue down that particularly awful train of thought, I remove my hand.

           “First of all, you are not a pushover. Insinuating that you are a pushover would also be insinuating that I’m taking advantage of you. Do you feel like I’m taking advantage of you?” Spencer’s eyes grow wide and he frantically shakes his head.

           “Absolutely not. I… I love what you do to me – with me. What we do together. I-I just want to be sure that you like it to. That you’re not just humoring me until someone who can actually give you what you want comes around.”

           I feel my mouth fall open from shock somewhere during the middle of his spiel. He can’t actually be so oblivious to the fact that I enjoy the hell out of our sex life, can he?

           Apparently, he can and he is, because Spencer takes my silence as affirmation.

           “I could try? To d-dom you, that is. I’ve been reading up on it and-”

           “Spencer, where on earth did this come from?”

           Spencer blinks hard, “I told you – I read it in Psychology Today.”

           I shake my head at him and slip off of his lap and onto the couch cushion beside him.

           “No, that’s not what I meant. What made you think that I’m not happy with our sex life?”

           “N-Nothing in particular,” Spencer stammers. “I just know that I’m not exactly the most masculine guy, and I want to make sure that you’re, you know… happy. With me.”

           And there it is.

           I reach for Spencer’s hand and link our fingers together.

           “This wouldn’t have anything to do with that comment Derek made this morning, would it?” Spencer doesn’t answer, but the way his eyes drop to his lap tells me everything I need to know. I tighten my grip on his hand. “You know he was just messing with you, right? As out of line as it was, he was just being… Derek.”

           “He wasn’t wrong, though. I am extremely docile – along with a litany of other very passive traits. I’m not strong or assertive or confident like Derek; I’m basically the complete opposite of the ideal male partner. All I’m good for is spouting out information that’s only sometimes useful. No wonder you don’t want to-” Spencer clamps his mouth shut and his cheeks burn red. “Forget it. C-Can we pretend this conversation never happened?”

           “No wonder I don’t want to what?” I prod, brows furrowed in confusion. But still, Spencer refuses to meet my eyes. “And as far as all the other stuff goes, it doesn’t matter if you’re assertive or strong. I prefer my sweet, gentle boy over guys like Derek Morgan, any day. My ideal male partner just so happens to be pretty boys with curly brown hair and massive IQs, not aggressive alpha males with overinflated egos.” I bring Spencer’s hand up to my lips and place a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “I’m being serious, Spence. There’s a lot to love about you.”

           Spencer’s next words are hushed, so quiet that I almost don’t hear him when he says, “Then why haven’t you told anyone about us yet?”

           In the two months since our first time together, neither of us had been brave enough to broach the subject of what exactly we were doing. With neither of us quite sure how to go about defining the relationship, we’d fallen into a sort of routine. Whenever it came time to pair off for the night and retreat to our hotel rooms, Spencer and I always made sure that we were paired together. Hotch never seemed to care – he was just happy that we weren’t walking on eggshells around each other anymore - and the others were kind enough to keep their suspicions to themselves. On the weekends, or really any time that we weren’t working a case, time off was spent in each other’s company, be it at Spencer’s place or mine. Days full of impromptu adventures to farmer’s markets and niche antique shops devolved into passionate nights spent learning every inch of each other’s skin until no stone was left unturned. It was the perfect arrangement.

           Or at least it would’ve been, if Spencer and I hadn’t managed to fall half way in love somewhere along the way. It was glaringly obvious early on that it was way more than just sexual chemistry that kept us both coming back for more, but owning up to that fact was a whole other issue that neither of us was ready to deal with.

           Until now, apparently.

           “I-I mean, we haven’t talked about what exactly this is, so I wasn’t quite sure how to go about that,” I stammer. “But now that you’ve brought it up…”

           Spencer finally looks up and his eyes are filled to the brim with equal parts fear and hope.

           “I-I really want there to be an us,” he whispers. “I kind of thought that much was obvious.”

           “And I thought the fact that I have absolutely zero complaints in the bedroom was obvious, but here we are,” I tease, and Spencer lets out an involuntary giggle when I poke at his side. “I want there to be an us, too. And for what it’s worth, I like you just the way you are, Spencer Reid - just so we’re clear.”

           “Really?” Spencer persists. From anyone else, it would seem like they were fishing for compliments, but from Spencer? I knew my sweet, darling boy just needed some reassurance.

           I lean forward and capture his lips in a long, languid kiss.

           “Really really,” I mumble when I pull away. “Have I done a thorough enough job drilling that into your head, or do you need some more convincing?”

           “More convincing,” Spencer replies as he ducks in for another kiss. “Lots and lots of convincing.”

           I smile against his lips, “That’s good to hear, because I sorta had a little something special planned for you.”

           “Something special?”

           I slide my hand from its place on his knee until my fingers glide across the tip of his clothed cock.

           “Remember that thing we talked about last week?”

           I can feel the way Spencer’s cock twitches under my hand and I have to bite back a smile.

           “Y-Yeah?”

           I give his bulge a light squeeze that has Spencer moaning low in his throat.

           “Only if you want to. There’s no pressure at all. I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’d be perfectly fine if you just wanna watch that movie and cuddle a bit - you know that right?”

           “Yes, but I still want to,” Spencer chokes out. “Very, very much.” And then he’s bringing a hand up to cup my face before slotting our lips together again.

           The kiss is sloppy, seeing as we’re both much too excited to worry about being precise. Spencer spends time exploring my body with his free hand, starting at my hips and then dipping underneath my t-shirt. Spencer’s hand is just shy of skimming over my bra when I pull back and he lets out a frustrated whine when I pull his hands off of me.

           “I wanna ask you a few things before we do this, okay, baby?” Spencer flushes a deep crimson as he nods. “Have you ever experimented with any sort of anal play before?”

           “N-No, I haven’t. Is that okay?”

           Spencer Reid, you are going to be the death of me.

           “That’s perfectly fine, sweet boy,” I coo. “I’m just trying to get a feel for what’s going to be the most comfortable for you. We’ll start small and work our way up, okay?” Spencer nods, prompting me to tack on an, “Assuming that you want to, that is. This is all on your terms, and I need to make sure that you know that nothing’s going to happen that you don’t expressly consent to first.”

           Spencer’s lips pull up into a sweet smile.

           “I know, and I trust you,” he says. “And I consent to it. To all of it.”

           “You’re gonna have to be a little bit more specific than that,” I chuckle. “What exactly are you consenting to?”

           Spencer shifts in his seat, “Y-You know.”

           “Yes, but I want to hear you say it, baby.”

           Spencer gulps hard, “I-I want you to fuck me. Please.”

           I let out a satisfied hum and remove my hand from Spencer’s lap.

           “I want you to go to the bedroom and take off all your clothes. Then I want you to lie in the center of the bed and if I walk in and see you touching yourself, I’ll walk right back out and I won’t touch you for a month. Are we clear?”

           “Y-Yes, Miss.”

--

           I spend much longer than necessary in the living room, sitting on the couch and scrolling through my phone for nearly ten minutes before getting up and making my way to the bedroom. The anticipation is half of the fun, in my opinion, and I take great pleasure in imagining Spencer squirming against the sheets, desperate for me to walk through that door.

           I rid myself of my skirt and blouse as I make my way down the hallway, leaving me in only my panties and bralette. I can hear Spencer’s heavy breathing before I even reach the bedroom, and it makes my stomach flip excitedly as I push open the door.

           Spencer lays in the middle of the bed, hands grabbing at the sheets as he rolls his hips in vain. His cock stands painfully hard, leaking precum and bobbing up and down with every motion of his hips. Spencer doesn’t see or hear me when I come in – his eyes are closed tight and his bottom lip is nestled between his teeth, blissfully oblivious as he ruts up into nothing.

           “It seems like my poor, needy boy has worked himself up into quite a state.”

           The sound of my voice startles him and he immediately halts the movement of his hips. Spencer’s eyes watch on and I walk over to the night stand, taking my time as I remove a bottle of lube, my harness, and the newly purchased dildo bought especially for my sweet boy.

           Spencer’s eyes linger on the silicone member, wide and curious as I set the items on the bed and crawl in between his legs. He spreads his legs without being prompted, leaving him completely exposed to me, and the action makes my heart swell with pride. My good boy has learned so much in the past two months.

           “M’gonna suck that pretty cock of yours now, and I want you to keep your hips still. Can you do that for me, baby?”

           Spencer nods frantically, “Y-Yes, Miss. Please – I need your mouth. I’ll be still, I promise.”

           I let out a pleased hum as I take him into my hand, dragging my fist up and down, spreading precum across the entirety of his length.

           “I know you will, baby. You’re always so good for me. So eager to please.”

           I lean down and begin placing kisses to the sensitive skin of his thighs, all while continuing to work my hand against him. I nip lightly at the skin above his right hip and Spencer sucks in a ragged breath when I suck a pretty purple bruise in the very same spot. It contrasts starkly with his porcelain skin, and I enjoy the way it looks so much that I continue until a plethora of love bites litter his inner thighs. When I finally sit back and admire my work, Spencer’s writhing so pitifully against the mattress that I decide to put him out of his misery.

           Spencer devolves into a whimpering mess the moment I take his tip into my mouth, his head thrashing wildly against the mattress when I swirl my tongue around him. I take my time with him, not at all rushing my descent onto his cock, choosing instead to tease him with a slow, steady pace. If Spencer minded my slower than usual pace, he didn’t say so. He was too busy choking out an unrelenting string of the most wanton moans I’d ever heard as he watched himself disappear into my mouth.

           I decide now is as good a time as any to up the ante and I pull my mouth away from him.

           “W-Why did you stop?” Spencer stutters, chest heaving up and down.

           I raise an eyebrow at him, “Are you being ungrateful, Doctor? Because if you are, I could always just leave you here like this - cock hard and leaky with no way to get off other than your own hand. That wouldn’t be nearly as fun as having me fuck that pretty little ass of yours.”

           “No, please! I’m so sorry,” Spencer mewls. “I’ll be good, just please don’t leave!”

            I loosely grasp Spencer’s cock in my hand and run my thumb across his slit.

           “You sound so pretty when you beg, baby. I can’t wait to hear how pretty you are when you’re begging for me to fuck you harder.”

           Spencer’s eyes roll back into his head and his mouth hangs open, panting hard.

           “I want it so bad. Please, please, please, Miss.”

           I use my free hand to reach up and push two fingers into Spencer’s mouth, “Suck. I want them real nice and wet so that I can use them to get you ready for me.”

           Spencer moans around my fingers, laving his tongue around the them as he hollows his cheeks. When I retract my fingers from his mouth they’re practically dripping and I reward his effort by tightening my grip on his cock.

           “Good job, baby. Are you ready for me to finger that tight little hole of yours?” I ask him as I release his cock and grab the bottle of lube. I drizzle a healthy amount onto my fingers before dragging one across his puckered hole, eliciting a high-pitched cry from Spencer.

           “Yes!” Spencer gasps as he attempts to wiggle closer. “So ready for you, Miss. Use your f-fingers on me, please!”

           I start by slowly pressing one in, so as not to overwhelm him, and to my endless delight, it glides in almost effortlessly.

           “Already so ready for my fingers, Doctor. You sure you haven’t touched yourself here before?” I ask as I begin to work my finger in and out in slow thrusts.

           “N-Never. O-Only you,” Spencer stutters out between moans. “C-Can you add another, Miss?”

           I pull my finger out, only to add another and resume my efforts at a slightly faster pace. Spencer’s back arches up off the bed when my fingers brush against his prostate and he lets out a half startled, half delighted yelp.

           “Oh fuck!” Spencer moans as he grinds down onto my fingers. “Again, please, Miss!”

I comply, and with every press of my fingers against the fleshy bundle of tissue, Spencer’s body jolts from the sensation.

           “S’that feel good, baby? Do you like how my fingers feel?”

           “Oh, God, yes! F-Feels so good. Never felt like this b-before,” Spencer sobs. “I-I’m getting close, Miss.”

           “I didn’t say that you can cum, baby. I wanna save that for when I’ve got my cock buried inside you. How’s that sound?”

           “Y-Yes, Iwantitsobad,” Spencer slurs, his words running together as he draws nearer and near to the end. “Want you to fuck me, Miss! Please, I’ll do anything-”

           I take pity on him and withdraw my fingers, which makes Spencer keen in protest.

           “Calm down, greedy boy. Just gotta get ready so I can give you what you want.”

           I crawl off of the bed and step into the harness, fastening it in place and making sure that the dildo is secure before I crawl in between his legs. Spencer watches on with rapt fascination as I pour lube into my palm and work it over the silicone cock until every inch of it glistens.

           “What’s your color, baby?” I ask as rub the tip of the cock over his hole.

           Spencer’s breath catches in his throat and his whole-body tenses with anticipation.

           “So green, Miss. So fucking green,” Spencer whimpers.

           I raise a hand up to his hip and begin to rub soothing circles into the skin there.

           “Gonna need you to relax for me, sweetheart. Can you do that?”            Spencer bites his lip and nods his head. I watch as the tension begins to melt away, and when I see him relax back into the mattress, I bring up my hand to stroke his cock. I keep my touch light, barely applying pressure – I knew if I applied too much, Spencer wouldn’t be able to hold out longer than a few thrusts. He was already teetering on the edge as it was.

           Mine and Spencer’s eyes meet and he smiles up at me, dopey and drunk from pleasure, and it’s all the permission I need. I press into him slowly, and I’m left in awe as I watch Spencer Reid completely unravel beneath me.

           “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Spencer curses, head flying back and hitting the pillows. It never ceases to amaze me at how fucking responsive he is, and tonight is no exception. It’s like his body is a live wire, trembling beautifully as I press in further and further and further. I stop just shy of being fully sheathed inside him, trying to allow him a moment to adjust, but Spencer seems to have other plans.

           “Keep going, Miss, don’t stop, please! I want all of it, please give it to me! I can take it, please let me show you!”

           He looks up at me and those beautiful brown eyes are so wild, so positively feral that I can’t even entertain the idea of denying him any longer.

           Spencer looks positively ruined by the time I bottom out inside him. His hair sticks to the sheen of sweat that gathers on his forehead, and his lips look positively abused from the way he’s been biting down on them. His eyelids flutter closed every few seconds, and every time he blinks them back open, I’m able to see that his pupils are so blown that his eyes look almost black.

           I pull back until all that’s left inside him is the very tip of the cock, and just as he opens that bratty little mouth to beg for more, I give particularly harsh thrust of my hips until I’m fully sheathed inside him. Spencer lets out a surprised cry as I set an unforgiving pace, all the while still loosely jerking him off as I bury myself inside him again and again and again.

           “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Spencer chants loudly, face contorted beautifully in an expression of pure ecstasy. I spare a brief thought to Spencer’s poor neighbors and make mental note to invest in a ball gag.

           “S’that feel good, baby? You look so pretty taking my cock like the good boy you are. My pretty little cock slut. Such a shame nobody’s fucked you like this before,” I hum as I focus my attention on the head of his cock, thumbing lightly at where he leaks for me.

           “D-Don’t want anyone else, just wanna be good for y-you. Wanna m-make you proud,” Spencer whines, tripping over his words as he struggles to form a coherent sentence. The sentiment sends a jolt of heat down to my already soaking core, but I do my best to ignore the slickness running down my thighs for the time being. Right now, my only focus is the boy chanting my name, praying for a type of salvation that only I can give him.

           I smile down at him and my hand drifts lower to where I’m steadily thrusting in and out of him. Spencer’s body jolts as the pad of my thumb brushes against the sensitive skin of his hole.

           “Of course, I’m proud of you. Look at how well you’re taking me, baby. It’s like you were made to take my cock,” I praise him.

           My words, mixed with the way I’m working both Spencer’s cock and his tight little ass, seem to be getting the better of him, because Spencer doesn’t even try to formulate a response. He just continues to let out strangled moans that almost sound like sobs as his hands grasp at the sheets until his knuckles turn white.

           It doesn’t take long until I feel the muscles in Spencer’s stomach and thighs begin to tense, and when his cock twitches in my hand I can tell Spencer won’t last much longer.

           “Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” I ask him as I grind my hips against his, and Spencer’s reply comes in the form of an incoherent, garbled moan.

           “What’s the matter, baby? Have I fucked you so stupid that you can’t answer me anymore?” I taunt him. I use the leverage I have from the hand placed on his hip to propel myself deeper. “Is my poor dumb baby incapable of replying?”

           Spencer makes a feeble attempt at a reply, “P-Please let me – f-fuck – cum! Oh, God, m’socloseMiss. Harder, please!”

           I take a minute to bask in the way he’s completely fallen apart at my hands - relishing in the way his eyes are glossy and dark with lust, in the way that his chest is flushed a deep red, and in the way that precum beads at the tip of his cock, aching for a release. He looks beautiful like this, whining and squirming, hips grinding down in search of more, more, more. I’d never imagined in a million years that I’d be so lucky as to see the illustrious Spencer Reid fucked absolutely senseless, but here he was, waiting for my permission to throw himself off the edge and into the best kind of oblivion.

           “Cum for me, pretty boy,” I say in the softest voice imaginable. “Show me how good you are.”

           The tension that had been steadily building since the first press of my lips against his snaps in an instant, and copious amounts of cum spurt out from his cock, painting his chest in thick, white ropes. Spencer chants out muddled thank yous as I fuck him through his release, pushing in and out of him in shallow strokes as slowly comes back down from the high.

           When his breathing slows down to a normal rate, I pull out of him, quickly freeing myself from the harness and tossing it aside to be dealt with later. I crawl up until I’m at eye level and begin pressing soft, sweet kisses to Spencer’s face.

           “You did so well, Spence,” I murmur against his skin. “You’re amazing, baby. Thank you so much for trusting me to be with you like that.”

           Spencer lifts a shaky hand to my hair and pulls me down into a heated kiss. I indulge him and pour every ounce of passion I have into my efforts, hoping to express my gratitude with every swipe of my lips against his. And when I pull away, my pretty boy smiles up at me, sated and full of adoration, and it’s beautiful.

           “D’you think you can handle taking a shower with me?” I ask as I pull away, and Spencer gives a shy nod in response. He sits up in the bed and swings his legs until his feet hit the floor. I’m just about to stand when his hand comes down on my wrist to stop me.

           “What about you? You didn’t . . .”

           “Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. Tonight was all about you.”

           I move off of the bed and help him to his feet, holding him steady when his legs begin to shake. “Might be a little sore for a while, but it should go away within a day or so.”

           I help him to the bathroom and turn on the shower, and when it’s warm enough I rid myself of my bra and panties and motion for him to join me. I urge Spencer to step under the spray first, but his arms snake around me and pull me with him.

           Spencer nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck and he lets out a deep sigh.

           “You okay, bubs?” I ask him as I tangle my arms around his torso and begin to rub soothing circles into his back.

           “I just feel a little… down? I-Is this a sub drop? I read a little bit about them, but I don’t k-know…” he trails off, sniffling pitifully against my neck. “I-I just know that I want to hold you. Is that o-okay?”

           My heart lurches painfully in my chest as his voice wavers, and I pull back just enough that I can look into his weary eyes.

           “Baby, that’s more than okay. Sub drops are a perfectly normal thing to experience, and I’ll be right here to hold you for as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

           Spencer’s eyes fill with tears and he makes no attempt to hold them back, choosing to let them fall freely and mix in with the water pouring from the shower head.

           “T-Tell me you want me,” Spencer begs, lip wobbling pitifully. “I-I just feel like I’m not good enough for you, and I know it’s all in my head, and I know how you feel about me, but I just think it would help if you just… s-said it. Please?”

           I feel my heart break for the man that stood before me. The implication his words carry - that this wonderful, kind-hearted, extraordinarily gifted man could ever think so little of himself – was enough to bring tears to my own eyes. I swallow down the lump that forms in my throat and, with all the sincerity I can possibly muster, I reply.

           “I want you, Spencer Reid. I don’t want anyone else – only you,” I tell him, never once breaking eye contact. “For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

           Spencer chokes out a weak laugh, “And if I want you forever?”

           I nudge his nose with my own, and the act feels almost more intimate than everything that preceded it.

           “Then forever, it is,” I murmur. I press a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away and reaching for the shampoo. “Now, turn around, pretty boy. Let me pamper you.”

--

           “Y/N!” Penelope calls out, sauntering over to me in a flash of hot pink taffeta. I’m in the middle of throwing my satchel over my shoulder when she runs up to me, excited smile on her face. “Me, you, JJ, Elle, and a bottle of tequila. You in?”

           On a normal day, the answer would have been a resounding hell yes. But today? I let my eyes wander over to where Spencer lingers near the glass doors, trying to look like he isn’t listening in. Very subtle.

           “I’m gonna have to pass on this one, Penelope.”

           Penelope’s smile transforms into a pout.

           “This is the third weekend in a row you’ve ditched us!” she whines, stomping her kitten heeled foot like a petulant child. “Either you’re avoiding us or you’ve got some secret lover we don’t know about. And if that’s the case, then we have a whole other problem, because that’s the kind of thing I expect to be told about immediately.”

           The giddy smile that stretches across my face gives me away before I even have the chance to open my mouth, sending Penelope into an absolute frenzy.

           “Oh my God, I cannot believe this. We’ll talk about how angry I am about being kept in the dark later because right now, I need details,” Penelope gushes. “Who is he? Where did you two meet? Is he hot?” Penelope barely gets the words out before she’s shaking her head. “Wait, that’s a dumb question. Of course, he’s hot - just look at you. Do I know him? When do I get to meet him?”

           I can’t help but laugh at Penelope’s enthusiasm.

           “Slow down, Pen,” I chuckle. “I didn’t tell you about it because it’s still relatively new, and it wasn’t until this past weekend that we finally decided to put a label on it.”

           “A label? Does that mean this guy is your boyfriend? Oh my God, I thought this day would never come,” Penelope sighs dreamily. But the far-away look in her eye quickly fades and Penelope begins to grill me with renewed fervor. “Y/N, you have to tell me who it is. It’s like, practically a crime that I’m only just now hearing about this, so you owe me this much. And I’ll be needing his first and last name, along with a DOB so that I can run a full back ground check ASAP. Don’t even try to talk me out of it – we deal with enough freakiness during our day jobs, and I insist on making sure the freakiness ends there.”

           I can feel a flush spread over my cheeks and I fiddle with the strap of my bag.

           “I, uh, don’t think a background check is going to be necessary. You know this guy pretty well already.”

           If Penelope had been worked up before, she was practically vibrating with excitement now.

           “I know him? Oh my God, this is so huge. Is it Brendon from down in sex crimes? Or maybe James from counter-terrorism?” Penelope muses aloud, before her eyes go almost comically wide. “Holy hell, it’s Anderson, isn’t it?”

           “It definitely isn’t Anderson, or any of the others, for that matter,” I laugh. “Do you want a hint?”

           “What I really want is for you to just tell me, but if you insist on dragging this out then yes, I would very much like a hint!”

           I cut my eyes over to where Spencer stands, and it’s impossible to miss the giddy grin on his face. So much for trying to remain subtle, Doctor Reid.

           I fake like I’m looking around for anyone within earshot before motioning for Penelope to lean in. She’s quick to comply, and I do one last exaggerated sweep of the room.

           “Alright then, here’s your hint,” I whisper into her ear. “He’s got an IQ of 187, and he’s a pretty kickass magician.”

           I lean back and adjust the strap of my bag, sparing one last, parting glance at Penelope, whose jaw is practically on the floor.

           “See you on Monday, Pen.”

           “W-Wait, are you serious?” Penelope calls out after me. “Reid is your mystery man?! Y/N, get back here right now and explain yourself! Derek, did you hear that?!”

           By the time I reach Spencer, Penelope’s voice fades into background noise as I focus all my attention on the way he smiles down at me. I link my hand with his and I’m vaguely aware of an increase in volume coming from Penelope’s direction, but I ignore in favor of smiling back at him.

           “You ready to get out of here, boyfriend?”

           Spencer squeezes my hand in his and he nods.

           “Ready when you are, girlfriend.”

-

-

-

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[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Nine)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Smut, Domestic Violence, Angst

Words: 3,064

Please comment and interact...it's what keeps this blog going

***************************

Almost a week had passed since you stayed with Cillian at his unit in Galway and, despite the fact that he was away, things had further developed between you as emotions grew with every day.

He was different to any man you had ever been involved with and, whilst your involvement with each other stemmed from purely sexual lust and hunger, you had evolved from this to something different entirely within a matter of days.

Of course, you knew each other for years and, whilst you had a crush on Cillian for as long as you could remember, you never thought that it would be like this and, for Cillian, this feeling had never been mutual.

Whilst he always considered you to be attractive and very intelligent and kind, he never felt any emotional connection or sexual attraction towards you, at least not until that weekend when you visited Denise, which was also the first time he saw you again after six months had passed.

On that night during which you slept with each other, he let his sexual hunger take over his reasonable thinking mind after he saw you, in his kitchen, making pancakes and you had since, quite openly, talked about it. He saw sleeping with you as a mistake but, ever since that night, he couldn’t get you out of his head.

For you, things weren’t just sexual anymore and you began to feel strongly for Cillian which worried you especially since he was open about the fact that he didn’t know where things were heading with you. The fact that you are his daughter’s friend and much younger than him clearly bothered him and he sometimes admitted to you that he felt strange about building such a strong connection with you. A relationship was not what he wanted but he liked you, a lot.

As such, during the past week, Cillian called you every day after he finished filming and you were talking to him more frequently than you were talking to Denise.

During his breaks, he would also text you and check in on you as you were in the middle of exams. He always remembered when you had a test and asked you how it went and, when you told him that you didn’t feel confident with your results, he reassured you that you probably did well and, even if you didn’t, it wouldn’t matter. According to him, a pass is a pass and you needed to lower your expectations of yourself just a little.

To your surprise, he also remembered appointments you had scheduled and things that bothered you which meant that, unlike other men you had been with, he was actually listening and was interested in what you had to say.

Some nights, you had spent hours on the phone or Skype, joking about things you had encountered that day or talking about books, literature and music, which is something you both enjoyed.

Politics and social issues were other matters you could discuss endlessly and, even when you were of different opinions, you would be able to argue in the most satisfying way. Cillian always treated you as an equal and even opened up to you about his divorce from Denise’s mother recently.

Another thing you learned from Cillian was that Denise was brining along her friend Amalie to Manchester to stay at his apartment and, when you gave him a warning about her and her intentions, he reminded you that he only had eyes for you. In fact, he always showered you with compliments and all of his compliments were genuine and came natural to him, helping you immensely with your self-consciousness.

Unfortunately, whilst you enjoyed how engaging Cillian was with you every day, like a teenager in love, with the constant text messages and calls, your father soon got suspicious and confronted you about.

****

“Dad, I am almost 22, you don’t need to be spying on me” you said somewhat frustrated as he asked you who you were talking to every day.

“You live under my roof and you answer me young lady” he said harshly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just as your mother stepped in, trying to calm him down. Your father was much older, approaching sixty and fairly old school in the way he expected you and your sister to behave.

“A friend…I am talking to a friend” you explained and your father asked again, telling you not to lie to him because he would know.

“And this friend of yours, you can’t meet him…you just text and talk? You can’t bring him to our house and introduce him?” your father asked along with a million other questions.

“No, I can’t. he lives in Dublin and I, most certainly, wouldn’t bring him into this…” you said somewhat irritated by the interrogation.

“Dublin, huh? So, you met him when you visited Denise?” he asked and you nodded.

“It’s not her brother, is it? Because I really don’t want you to get involved with him. I don’t like this family and their views” your father said harshly, causing you to chuckle.

“Their views?” you asked somewhat surprised and your father nodded.

“Yes, their views on what’s right and wrong. If I recall correctly, this girl you call your friend was going out with someone of the same gender for a while. God didn’t tell us to do this but her parents obviously didn’t have an issue with it which, apparently is called new age parenting. Everything is pro choice and lets their children decide what is best for them even if they lack experience” your father went on to say and you couldn’t help but shake your head at his absurd commentary but, he continued and you soon learned what had happened between your parents and Denise’s parents many years ago, before which your mother had called Denise’s mother her friend as well.

According to your father, Cillian had voiced his opinion to your father when it was found out that your sister was pregnant following a short affair with a man she had met through university.

Cillian’s ex wife had told your sister that she had options, causing your father to get rather angry with her, which is when Cillian stepped in, supporting what Denise’s mother had said.

She had offered your sister help but your father considered this to be a betrayal and, whilst your mother maintained contact with Denise’s mother for a while, your father refused to get involved with Denise’s family thereafter.

Cillian’s often all so public views angered him and he made this very clear. He didn’t want you to be involved with his children and you couldn’t help but laugh about the irony of it all when you found out about this incident.

“Jesus Dad, that was years ago and not everyone has to have the same views as you” you said before confirming that you weren’t seeing Denise’s brother.

“No, they don’t, but I am just looking out for you and, instead of acting the way you do, throwing yourself at guys with new age ideas, I would much prefer if you met a nice young catholic man” your father explained, causing your mother to fume in anger with him.

“Throwing myself at guys? Listen, I am not sure what slut you think I am but it’s nice to know that you think so little of me” you said before storming upstairs and into your room.

Having to deal with this crap bothered you and you knew that, when this semester came to an end, you could be moving out now that you saved enough money for a bond and rent.

*****

As the evening went on, you spent all of your time in your room, reading a book until, finally, at around 9 o’clock you saw a notification on Skype.

‘Hey Beautiful’ Cillian said as you picked up and popped in your headphones.

Cillian apologised for calling through so late and informed you that he was finally able to speak to Laura, the woman he was seeing before you.

He knew that you wanted to know about it and he had no problem telling you what you needed to hear while telling you that you had absolutely nothing to worry about.

It was Laura’s first day back on set after a week-long break and Cillian told you that she wasn’t exactly impressed when he stood her down.

‘She probably likes you…I can understand that’ you said calmly but Cillian told you that he was pretty clear with her about what this was between them.

‘Well, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her’ he went on and you were quite happy to change the topic by this point and told him that you were aching for him.

‘Well, I am not sure that I can help you with that’ Cillian chuckled.

‘We could have Skype sex I suppose’ you giggled.

‘Skype Sex?’ Cillian laughed before telling you that he didn’t think that this would be a good idea since you were at home with your parents and you had previously complained about the thin walls of the house.

‘Oh Jesus Cillian, my father already thinks I am a slut, so I personally don’t care if anyone hears me getting myself off. I’ve got my earphones in and am the only one who can hear you and my door is locked’ you chuckled.

‘Your father thinks that you are a slut? Do you want to talk about that?’ Cillian asked concerned but you shook your head.

‘I rather not. You met him and know what he is like’ you explained.

‘I do. He takes God very seriously’ Cillian said before continuing on. ‘But, if you have problems at home you need to tell me please. You can stay at my apartment. I can get my house keeper to meet you there with the key’ he offered.

‘You said you were going to stay out of stuff between me and my parents just as I would stay out of matters between you and Denise’ you then said, reminding him on the conversation about your respective roles which you had three days ago.

‘Yes I did, but I can’t if I have to worry about you’ Cillian said firmly.

‘There is no need to worry Cillian. I promise’ you reassured him. ‘Well, actually, I need you to worry about my sexual needs right now’ you then went on to say with sly grin.

‘Through Skype?’ Cillian asked again somewhat concerned.

‘Yes’ you said with a cheeky smile as you settled more into your bed with your laptop.

‘Alright then, show me what you are wearing” Cillian said as he cut straight to the point.

‘Can you see?’ you asked as you adjusted the cam and showed Cillian your dark blue lingerie.

‘Very nice…but…I think you would look even better if you were naked, don’t you think?’ Cillian said somewhat nervously and you nodded in agreement.

‘Well, I suppose I should strip for you and you should strip for me’ you giggled as you seductively took off your bra slowly, showing Cillian your perky breasts through the camera.

You heard him inhale sharply as he watched you and took his t-shirt off at the same time, leaving him in nothing but his CK briefs.

Without words you then scooted back on the bed and removed your undies, allowing him to watch before you sat down on the bed, spread eagle and naked, giving him a good view of your mound.

‘Jesus Y/N, you are so fucking beautiful and sexy…touch yourself for me, nice and slow’ Cillian breathed out and you let his soothing voice wash over you, knowing what he was trying to do and happily helping him succeed.

‘Like this?’ you moaned as you began to run circles over your clit with your fingers.

‘Yes, just like that babe’ Cillian groaned as he shuffled down his briefs and you were finally getting a good look of his hard cock.

‘Oh god, I want to stroke your cock so badly’ you moaned as you seductively opened your pussy lips with your fingers, opening yourself up before reaching for the black vibrator you kept in your bedside table.

‘Well, someone's particularly horny tonight’ Cillian chuckled as he watched you play with your pussy, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You mumbled a small "mhm," and he laughed.

‘Good, that's exactly how I like you, so naughty and needy’ Cillian said as he slowly began to stroke his hard member.

You barely registered his words enough to answer with another "mhm," but your subconscious managed it. Your weak answer elicited another delicious chuckle from the other end of the line.

"Why don't you show me how this little toy of yours works?” Cillian then asked as he watched you eagerly.

“I was just waiting for you to ask” you giggled as you began to run your fingers along your stomach and back up to your chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps their wake before reaching for the vibrator and turning it on.

“Put into your sweet pussy babe, let me see it” Cillian groaned and you moan in response, barely processing his words but still understanding enough to answer and do what he asked.

"I bet your pussy is already dripping” he said as you slid the vibrator into you slowly. He was right, you could feel your wetness pooling.

“I am so fucking wet and I wish it would be your cock inside me” you moaned as you began to stroke the toy in and out of you.

Cillian was groaning on the other side, his eyes full of lust and desire for you and you let out a quiet moan as you watched him with the same desire and hunger while you were pleasuring yourself.

“Good girl, keep going…” Cillian tells you and you moan again hearing it.

“Tell me how much you are aching for my cock” he then said you moaned again.

“I want your cock so badly, fuck…I want your cum inside me, dripping out of my wet little pussy” you moaned, eliciting a groan from Cillian as he began to stroke his cock harder and faster.

“Such a naughty needy girl, aren’t you? I can’t wait to be inside you again and make you cum over and over again” Cillian said with a laboured breath and you are barely listening at this point.

“I want you to cum for me and show me this dripping pussy when you do…I fucking love hearing your moans, so fucking sexy…common babe….let go” Cillian said, knowing that you were close and your orgasm rolled over you as soon as the word 'cum' left his lips, and although your sensitive clit was screaming at your hand to stop, you couldn't.

‘Oh god fuck, yes…’ you moaned as you came hard and fast.

“That’s it babe, don’t stop” he instructed as your moans continuously spilled from your mouth, and you were not even sure what you were saying or if you were forming words at all. The only thing in your head is a deliciously heavy fog and Cillian’s voice guiding you to do what he wanted.

“Don’t stop, keep fucking your sweet little pussy babe” Cillian ordered as he knew you weren’t done and, just as he did, you let out a high-pitched moan, bordering on a scream, as an even stronger orgasm washed over your body.

‘Cum for me babe…I want to see all this cum’ you moaned in return, focusing on the delicious image in front of you as Cillian was stroking his cock and, just when you finally come back down you heard Cillian groan loudly.

“Fuck” he groaned as he stroked his cock hard and fast you watched rope after rope of cum spurt onto his stomach.

‘Oh god, what a waste, I want to lick your cum off your skin so badly” you breathed out as Cillian came down from his high slowly and used a tissue to clean himself up.

‘Stop saying those things or you have to stay on the line for another twenty minutes at least’ Cillian chuckled as he could feel his manhood stir again.

‘Well, I think you shouldn’t cum again until you come to visit me in Galway the weekend after next…I want you to save it all for me’ you said, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow as he pulled his briefs back up.

‘Fat chance babe’ he chuckled, knowing that going without an orgasm for nine days would be rather difficult for him.

Eventually, after a lot of begging, he agreed to try but he wouldn’t be able to make you any promises to this effect.

***

The following day, you went to work and then university thereafter but, when you eventually returned home, your father was in a worse mood than ever before.

‘Can you explain this to me?’ he asked angrily as soon as you walked through the door and you couldn’t help but gulp when he pointed to a white box which he had placed on the living room table.

‘You went through my personal belongings’ you huffed out as the box contained some lingerie and intimate items, including toys, that you were hiding in the bottom of your dresser.

‘Again Y/N, this is my house, my rules and I don’t want my daughter to own filth like this’ he said, after having heard small pieces of your conversation with Cillian on Skype the evening before.

It was obvious to you that your father was appalled and you were outraged that he had been snooping through your room and, as you would later learn, had even tried to access your computer.

‘I can’t fucking believe you dad. These are my personal belongings and you have no right to go through them’ you huffed out and, just as you did, you could feel a sharp strike across your face.

‘Get this shit out of my house and talk to me with some respect’ he said harshly, leaving you speechless and in tears as he walked away, leaving your cheek burning red.

   Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​

[too-gay-for-marvel]

just this once pt.5

a/n: yall. yall im on a roll. and no i will not apologise for anything that happens in this chapter. also, still learning how to do taglists so if it doesn’t work or you weren’t included, send me a message and i’ll try to get it fixed!

Word Count: 4,285 

Warnings: canon typical violence, non-explicit mentions of torture, mutant experimentation

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

(pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6.1 pt.6.2 pt.6.3 pt.7 pt.8)

“I think Fury is giving you a sign.”

Natasha looked up from her paperwork to see Maria leaning against the door frame to her office. She herself had just gotten back from a mission, evident in her slightly mused ponytail and gun still on her hip. A very beyond attractive look, if Natasha had to say it.

“What do you mean?” Natasha asked, leaning back in her chair to give her full attention to her fiancee.

“So he didn’t tell you,” Maria said with a nod. She pushed herself off the door frame and moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the desk.

“I’ll admit that gives me a clue,” Natasha said with a small frown. She didn’t like where this was going.

“He’s sending you on another mission,” Maria replied. “With Y/N.”

“I thought we told him emergencies only,” Natasha mused more to herself than to Maria.

It seemed like Nick was sending the both of you on every mission he could possibly come up with. He needed some information. Then he wanted the layout of a base. Then he wanted some recon on security in another location. All were things that Natasha not only could have done with someone else, but she could have gotten them done on her own.

He seemed to think differently.

“He wants you to leave tomorrow,” Maria continued, bringing Natasha out of her pouting. “Personnel recovery.”

“At least that gives us a few hours together,” Natasha said with a small smile.

“Maybe we can finally get some planning done,” Maria nodded as she stood up. “Maybe a colour scheme?”

“Red and black,” Natasha shot back.

“We’ll argue about it later,” Maria smiled. She walked over and tilted Natasha’s chin up to give her a quick kiss before leaving the office, presumably to get cleaned up.

Natasha looked down at her paperwork for not even five minutes before deciding she was going to rush upstairs and surprise Maria in the shower. She had just started piling the papers up when you walked in, harpoon on hip and soaking wet.

“Did you ask Fury for another mission?” You asked as you plopped into the chair opposite her, water instantly dripping down the sides of the seat.

“No,” Natasha said curtly, hoping she could get you out of her office sooner if she didn’t invite conversation.

“Then why is he sending us together?” You asked. Your fingers started combing through your hair, the webs gathering whatever was stuck. Drops of water splashed onto Natasha’s pristine papers.

“I don’t know,” Natasha said again, turning her lip up when you put a piece of seaweed on her desk.

“I thought you knew everything,” you huffed, staring intently as a shell you had pulled out of your suit sleeve.

“Well clearly not,” Natasha mumbled to herself.

You leaned over to rest your elbows on the desk, your dripping wet hair leaving puddles on the mahogany and her papers. Natasha set her jaw and gave you a look, keeping eye contact. But your eyes gave off that mischievous sparkle, the one that would make any woman swoon. And Natasha’s heart raced.

“Think I can get that in writing?” You asked with a raised brow. “You know, for the next time you act like a know-it-all.”

“Did you just come in here to act like an ass?” Natasha asked as she picked her papers up and started walking out.

“Actually,” you started as you pushed away from the desk and stood up, “I’m here to bring you this.”

You held your open hand out, palm up, and Natasha looked cautiously to see what it was. In the middle of your palm was a whole shell, with a small black pearl in the centre. It looked absolutely stunning, and Natasha reached out to gently take it.

“Why did you bring this to me?” Natasha asked, although she feared she already knew your answer.

“Cheeseburger found the shell the other day,” you shrugged, “and Roger got the pearl out.”

Natasha did her best not to chuckle at the silly names you had given the octopus and otter that usually inhabited your moon pool. Cheeseburger, the octopus, had lost two limbs and had a nasty habit of stealing your cheeseburgers (hence the name), while Roger was an in-progress rehabilitation project. Unfortunately, the three of you were like peas in a pod.

“It’s beautiful,” Natasha mused, her eyes still glued to the pearl. “But I can’t take this home to my fiancee.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. The space between the both of you increased as you visibly took a step back, and Natasha missed the closeness. Things had seemed normal only a moment ago, and now she could feel you closing yourself off to her, going cold once again.

“Then give it to Maria,” you shrugged. “Get some brownie points before going off on another mission with her favourite person.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Natasha shot back. “I just don’t want to waste your gift.”

“It was just cluttering up my space,” you replied, voice cold.

“Give it to Yelena,” Natasha said softly, holding the shell and pearl back out for you to take. “She would love it.”

“Yelena,” you huffed with a small smile. A sad smile. You grabbed the shell from her hand rather roughly, causing Natasha to flinch. “Thanks for the input.”

“Y/N,” Natasha started, but you were already walking away in the opposite direction, head high and feet dragging.

Natasha sighed and started her own way back to her floor. She wanted Maria to distract her. From you.

———

“What’s our objective again?” You shouted from the back of the quinjet.

“Personnel recovery,” Yelena answered. “Some scientist wanted out of AIM.”

“Why is that my responsibility?” You continued. Your boots echoed off the floor and you popped your head in between Yelena’s and Natasha’s chairs.

“Because something smelled-”

“Don’t,” Natasha interrupted.

“-fishy,” Yelena finished anyway, and both you and Natasha groaned as she just laughed at herself.

“I’m not paid enough for this,” Natasha mumbled to herself before turning her head and looking out the windows.

“I’ll throttle you,” you said as you lightly slapped Yelena upside the head.

“Listen,” she tried to say around another round of giggles, “if Fury ever told me his plans, I wouldn’t be stuck here with you two.”

“Well why don’t you find out? I wanna know why he’s sending me on this mission.”

“I already told you, I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know? Surely you must have some kind of-”

“Can you both shut up?” Natasha shouted. The both of you grew silent immediately, and Natasha finally let out a breath and tried to rub her growing migraine away.

“Should’ve just sent Nat,” you grumbled. “She’s grumpy enough to scare everyone away all on her own.”

Yelena snorted, and when Natasha shot a look her way, she tried her best to look out the window. You, on the other hand, held up to her challenge and met her eyes. That ridiculous smirk refused to disappear, and Natasha wanted so desperately to wipe it off your face. But instead she just turned back around and looked out the window once again.

The rest of the trip was silent, only the occasional update being spoken aloud. Yelena managed to drop the both of you off and stayed in the jet, more than ready for when you both got back and could get back to the Tower for a well-deserved weekend.

It was a quick jog to the location, with tents and cages set up all around the landing port. The building was a few stories tall, but well fortified with guards around every corner. The majority of cages were empty, but every now and then you could hear a bear, a dog, a human.

“I thought these guys were scientists,” you whispered from where you were crouched beside Natasha.

“They are,” Natasha nodded.

“Must be pretty paranoid then,” you continued.

“You would be too if your work relied on illegal mutant experimentation,” Natasha clarified. You didn’t say anything else, but she could see your knuckles going pale.

“Let’s get our man and go,” you practically growled. “Before I kill them all.”

Natasha knew you weren’t joking.

You both went in opposite directions, you heading to the back door and Natasha heading to the side. There was no guaranteeing that the scientist was even inside at all, but that was the easiest place to check. There was too much vulnerability outside and Natasha wasn’t going to risk getting caught and failing another mission.

“How are we supposed to find one nerd in a facility full of nerds?” You asked over the intercoms, and Natasha assumed you had made it into the building.

“Be nice,” Natasha whispered, “not all scientists are nerds.”

“Bruce and Tony are,” you replied. Natasha pulled herself against a wall when she heard voices. “Everyone here is.”

“Hush,” Natasha whispered. You remained silent as Natasha listened to footsteps getting closer, and then turning into the opposite direction. She let out a quiet breath.

“Do we really want to help someone who’s torturing mutants?” You asked again, a barely contained anger in your voice.

Natasha rounded another corner, trying to come up with an answer for you. You weren’t wrong; she didn’t like the idea either. Why save the scientist when you could save the people instead? But Fury wanted him, and there had to be a reason for it. The location was known, so someone could always come back to save them another day.

“Nick will send us back another day,” Natasha finally said out loud. You huffed on the other end of the comms.

You both continued through the facility, methodically clearing rooms until finally you indicated you had found him. Some wiry man with broken glasses, according to your description. Natasha gave confirmation and headed to the meet up point, somewhere on the second floor. Once Natasha was about to round the corner to the location, she could hear your voice carrying through the halls.

“You’re lucky I don’t wring your neck myself.”

“What’s the problem?” Natasha asked as soon as she saw you.

You were right. The man was wiry and nerdy, something you would expect from a mad scientist in a comic book. White tape was wrapped around the nose piece of his glasses in stereotypical fashion and he was hunched over like the world was resting on his shoulders.

No surprise, considering you were hovering nearly a foot over him.

“He called me an animal,” you seethed, your hands visibly shaking with the desire to have them around the man’s neck.

“Look at your arms and neck, what else could you be?” He asked in a gruff New Jersey accent.

“You want an animal? I’ll show you an-”

“That’s enough,” Natasha demanded. She stepped in between the both of you and pushed you away, not even bothering to get near the man.

“If he has to go with us, then so does one of the mutants,” you said, leaving no room for argument in your voice.

“We can’t risk it, we’re leaving them here,” Natasha said quickly. The hair on the back of her neck was starting to stand up and her stomach felt like it was dropping.

“I’m not leaving them and taking that,” you said through clenched teeth while pointing at the scientist.

“You’re going to risk my life for one of them?” He asked, his face drawn in disgust at the mere thought that his life was equal to a mutant’s. Natasha wanted to strangle him.

“We will come back for them another day,” Natasha said again, but you didn’t look convinced.

“I’m not leaving without them, so you’re gonna have to wait,” you shot back.

Voices could be heard in the stairwell a few halls away.

“And I’m not risking another mission,” Natasha argued, walking closer to you and forcing you to step backward to keep your space.

“If you think I’m taking that and leaving one of those kids then you’re-”

Click.

The both of you froze, your eyes boring into Natasha’s. A heavy silence fell upon the both of you, so thick Natasha struggled to draw breath. Her heart was pounding in her ears and that feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach returned.

And then your eyes left hers, trailing down to the too-tight cuffs that were now keeping you chained to the pipes against the wall. They weren’t the usual police handcuffs, but the kind that they had used on Loki after the invasion of New York.

You weren’t getting out of them.

“Natasha,” you started, your eyes moving back to meet hers.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha whispered. She took one heavy step back, never taking her eyes off of you.

“Unlock them,” you continued. Your chest was starting to rise and fall slightly faster.

“Someone will come for you,” Natasha said again with a slight nod.

Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

“Get back here, Romanoff,” you said as Natasha started leading the scientist down the hall.

Away from you.

She didn’t answer. She just felt her leaden boots take step after step, leading her further away from where you were chained. When she didn’t answer, she heard the sound of metal pulling against metal and your grunts and groans as you tried to yank the cuffs off.

“You can’t leave me here!” You shouted, your voice echoing down the hall after Natasha had turned the final corner.

She heard other voices coming from the same direction as yours, quickly followed by shouting and the solid thuds of blows being landed.

“Natalia!” You shouted again once Natasha had opened the door to lead the scientist out.

Only moments after the door shut, Natasha heard your scream. A scream of anger and frustration, a scream that reached down Natasha’s throat and ripped her heart out. The prick of tears in her eyes left a sinking feeling in her gut, left her feeling empty and a broken shell.

But she had a mission. And she was going to complete it.

She shoved the scientist in the direction of the quinjet and didn’t look back. Ignoring the whining and complaining coming from the man and eventually just throwing him into the back of the quinjet, ignoring the way Yelena jumped at the sudden noise.

“Where’s Y/N?” Yelena asked, moving her head around, trying to see if you were close behind.

“Get us in the air,” Natasha ordered. Tears pricked her eyes once again.

“Are they coming?” Yelena asked again, ignoring Natasha’s order.

“I said get us in the air, now.”

Yelena gave Natasha a look that sent a shiver down her spine, but turned around and got the jet in the air nonetheless. The scientist pulled himself into the seat next to Natasha. He seemed much more relaxed, and Natasha couldn’t blame him. He probably didn’t realise just how much had been risked to get him back to SHIELD.

“You made the right choice,” he said after some unbearable silence. Natasha turned to look at him, her brows pulled together.

“Excuse me?”

“You made the right choice,” he said again with an enthusiastic nod. “You never know what those animals might do-”

He was cut off with a choked gasp as Natasha slammed her elbow into his face, and he quickly lost consciousness.

“Just shut up,” she mumbled to herself, knowing he couldn’t hear her.

It didn’t make her feel any better.

———

It was six weeks before the party had been dispatched to get you back.  The party had consisted of Natasha, Yelena, and Wanda, and there was going to be nothing extra. They were going to get you out and get back to SHIELD, no side missions, no stops, no questions.

Maybe it just so happened that the only way to get you was to burn the facility to the ground and get the rest of the mutants out. Maybe they had called for a second quinjet to arrive to make sure everyone was able to get out safely.

Yelena and Wanda were tasked with getting everyone on the jets and eliminating the few soldiers remaining while Natasha had scoured the facility top to bottom to find you. There was a large portion of the basement that Natasha had found, filled with surgical equipment and things that would have been enough to give anyone nightmares.

And you were there, nude, in a too-small empty glass tank with a chain around your ankle. There were rips and tears in the thin membranes between your spines, and a dark black mark on your left shoulder blade. From her angle, it looked like some kind of gunk was stuck in your gills. You were curled up into a fetal position and kept your eyes glued to the ground directly in front of you.

“Y/N,” Natasha said, her gun still drawn but lowered.

“I should thank you, Miss Romanoff,” a voice called, and Natasha spun with gun raised to find a scientist walk forward, standing near a panel by your tank. “You gave me my greatest obsession.”

“How about you just let them out and I don’t kill you,” Natasha shrugged.

“I’ve learned a lot from our little friend,” he continued, ignoring her. “And you’re in time to see the results of something I’ve been working on.”

“Let them go,” Natasha said again. She cocked the gun, but the man laughed.

“I hear drowning is a horrible way to die,” he said, still ignoring her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Natasha saw you raise your head and look at her. The dark spots under your eyes were beyond evident, sticking out against the sickened colour of your skin. There was no emotion in your eyes, not even a silent plea for help.

You looked like you had already accepted death.

“How long do you think a sea creature can hold its breath underwater before it needs to breathe?” He asked, his fingers typing against the panel.

“Don’t,” Natasha shouted, her trigger finger pulling instinctively and burying a bullet into the man’s chest. He was dead before he hit the floor.

Water started filling your tank, and you stood up to get your head as tall as it could get. Natasha nodded at you once, and you covered your head as she fired shot after shot at the tank. But there wasn’t even a dent, nothing to indicate that the tank could be broken.

“What do I do?” Natasha asked as she ran up to the tank, watching the water slowly rise to your ankles.

You didn’t speak, didn’t open your mouth, instead pointing as best you could to a discrete pipe against the opposite wall. Natasha looked at it and followed the direction until she saw a lone wheel connected to the wall. A wheel that could control the water flow.

“Stay here,” Natasha told you as she ran off, grimacing to herself. It wasn’t like you had anywhere to go.

She grabbed the wheel and pulled, but it didn’t budge. It felt like she was trying to pull a quinjet with her bare hands; an impossible task in and of itself. Her eyes trailed over to see the water had reached your waist. There had to be something else she could get, something to help.

The thud of your hands on the glass made her turn, and you were pointing in another direction. Her eyes followed, but there wasn’t anything she could see that would immediately-

A pipe.

Natasha sprinted to grab it from the table, nearly dropping it in her haste to get back to the wheel. The water was up to your neck, and Natasha could already see that your gills weren’t filtering anything. They stayed terribly still, and Natasha had to drag her feet to get back to the wheel.

She stuck the pipe into the empty spaces of the wheel and pulled, yelling in frustration until it finally moved. She continued pulling until she heard the flow of water stop, and a tired smile etched itself onto her lips as she turned back around to see you.

But the water was over your head, and now she was leaving you to drown.

She couldn’t break the glass; the water was off and you were still drowning. Your eyes were wide, and the fear of the situation finally made its way onto your face as you curled in on yourself and started pulling at the chain around your ankle, air bubbles escaping from your nose at a rapid rate.

Natasha got an idea. She didn’t hesitate as she started pushing the pipe, the flow of water rushing back. Only this time, she didn’t stop until the pipes rattled with the flow, barely able to contain the volume inside. She pushed until the pipe stuck, and she turned and ran back to the tank.

Your eyes were closing, the air bubbles almost nonexistent, your struggle against the chain ending. Natasha started banging on the glass, trying to keep you awake, but you didn’t move, instead just floating, and Natasha felt her heart sink.

The glass creaked under her fingers. Natasha’s eyes shot open and she watched the glass, noting the single crack that started to web across the entirety of the tank. She barely had time to step aside as the glass shattered, water shooting out and leaving you to drop to the ground.

When you didn’t move, Natasha jumped forward, dropping to the ground and immediately starting CPR. She could feel a rib break, maybe two, but she didn’t stop. She wasn’t going to stop until you could breathe. You just needed to fucking breathe-

Your body shuddered as you choked, coughing up water before your eyes shot open. Natasha felt herself let out a shaky breath, but she didn’t let herself rest. She grabbed her gun and shot where the chain was connected to the floor, listening to it break before grabbing you and pulling you up.

“You need to lose some weight,” Natasha groaned as you leaned on her side, your feet barely moving.

You didn’t say a word the whole trip out of the facility. Just managed to  drag yourself out, eventually walking more on your own when you neared the quinjet. Yelena ran up to the both of you and got on your other side, sharing a look with Natasha.

“I’ve got it,” Yelena said in a tone that told Natasha to let go and give her some space.

Natasha did, watching as Yelena finished dragging you to the quinjet and putting you in a seat before wrapping a blanket around your naked form. Your eyes fell back to the ground when Yelena finally got the jet in the air, and you refused to look at anyone when you got back to the Tower, leaving Natasha without a second thought.

———

Natasha was sitting at the bar on the common floor, picking apart her food. She had tried to see you multiple times over the past two weeks, only to be turned away by doctors or Yelena. There was something wrong, but Natasha couldn’t find out because no one would let her.

The ding of the elevator had her turning her head, not necessarily eager but casually curious on who had appeared. To her surprise, Yelena walked out with a McDonald’s bag in hand, some drink in the other. She didn’t look happy, but Natasha could’ve expected that.

After all, Yelena hadn’t forgiven her.

“How are they?” Natasha asked.

“Alive, no thanks to you,” Yelena shot back. But she had stopped and was talking back; that was an improvement from the past two weeks.

“I had a mission,” Natasha said, but her voice was small, weak.

“They were part of that mission,” Yelena answered.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha said quietly. She said it to assuage her own guilt. It didn’t work.

“You’re stringing them along,” Yelena said, her voice taking a different tone that Natasha hadn’t been expecting. “Just marry Maria already and end the suffering.”

“I’m not stringing them along,” Natasha defended.

But she knew she was wrong. Yelena was right. And Natasha wasn’t going to stop because what would her life be without you? How could she go about her day-to-day life if she knew you weren’t going to be there in some fashion? Maybe she was in love with Maria and was going to marry her, but that didn’t mean she wanted to throw you away.

“Just be gentle,” Yelena said with a sigh. “Everyone has feelings at stake.”

“And you?” Natasha asked, causing Yelena to freeze. “What feelings do you have at stake?”

A small, sad smile made its way onto her face.

“Desire,” Yelena shrugged, but just like that her demeanour changed. “Y/N said I couldn’t eat before them, and I very much desire this McChicken.”

“You’re disgusting,” Natasha chuckled.

“And this McFlurry. You know the good stuff,” Yelena teased again, causing the both of them to laugh.

“Then go on,” Natasha motioned toward where she assumed you were waiting. “I’d hate for the two of you to starve.”

Yelena gave her a smile, one like the good old days, and continued her walk. She stopped in the doorway and turned around.

“Oh, Fury wanted me to tell you something.” Natasha gave her a look for her to continue. “You and Y/N are going undercover. As a couple.” With that, Yelena continued off, leaving Natasha to deal with the news.

Why couldn’t things ever be easy?

Taglist: @wickedmuses @m-zne237 @noodlybees @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo @gottacamz @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday @santasbitch @when-wolves-howl @madamevirgo​ @hopingforromanoff​ 

[tinywooniverse]

the boy in apt. 218

pairing: akaashi x plus sized fem reader

genre: fluff (maybe?), a little angst if you squint, college au

warnings: drinking (that’s all i can think of but if there are any others let me know)

word count: 6.5k (i got excited about writing again and got carried away so i hope your readers enjoy a long fic)

summary: the messy, raven haired boy from apartment 218 takes you on an emotional whirlwind.

a/n: this is a part of the curves and kisses collab started by @ceo-of-daichi so i hope everyone enjoys! (also i do type in all lowercase letters so i hope that’s not a problem for anyone)

“happy move in day roomie!!!!” your roommate, asami, says in a song bird-y tone as she bursts into your shared apartment with her suitcases in hand.

“well hello to you too, miss sunshine. happy move in day,” you say, adjusting the throw pillows on the couch before sitting down, “did you see the apartment manager’s texts about there being a get together in the lobby? she said something about everyone living here getting to know each other so we can avoid having to come her with conflicts when they arise.”

“i sure did see and we’re going so we can see if there are any hot guys that we haven’t managed to catch on campus yet.” she jokes.

“you’re going for that reason asami. emphasis on the you’re. i’m going so that you aren’t the only one i’m stuck with for the rest of my college life and then some.”

“wow just when i thought you couldn’t get meaner here you go saying these things.” she says, faking a pout.

“i know, i’m just the worst aren’t i,” you grin, grabbing one of her many bags, “besides, a college sweetheart might be nice in theory but i’m not gonna go looking for it. that’s the best way to get myself hurt or severely embarrassed. i’ll save myself the grief and let you be the friend that all the guys oogle at.”

“come on y/n, you know it’s not gonna be like this forever. someday someone is gonna look right past me and go directly to you and you know this. if i was a guy, hell, if i liked girls myself i totally would. you just need to be ready when that day comes. i know i am.” she replies, unpacking the bag with her toiletries and putting them away.

“you’re saying these things because we’re best friends. you think i’m gorgeous regardless of how i look.”

with this said, all that asami could do was think about what to say next. what you said was harsh but that’s how you look at the world when this very world shows and tells you how worthless you are because you don’t have the acceptable look. of course, your best friend and roommate, asami yuu, would never understand this exactly. she was a very lean, gorgeous girl who was sought after by everyone, her absolutely amazing personality aside. she couldn’t possibly know what you feel like every single moment of your life. you weren’t not pretty, you were actually very good looking but all of that gets thrown out the window when you aren’t small bodied.

“you can think whatever you want as long as you know that i mean exactly what i say,” she states, “i promise we would be girlfriends right now if i was attracted to women.”

“okay asami,” you giggle helping her hang a few decorations around her room, “do you wanna talk about our hypothetical life together or do you wanna see what hot guys live in our building?”

“hot guys please.” she says, pulling you out of the apartment.

when you get to the lobby you find that there are quite a few people that are already mingling. asami goes to introduce herself to some people and talk with others she had met before coming back over to you and catching you up on who’s who.

“any hot guys?” you ask to amuse your friend.

“i mean yeah but did you see the one guy? he’s the looker of this apartment building. all the girls i talked to mentioned him.” she yammers and you rolled your eyes slightly.

“no i told you i wasn’t here for this.”

“well he’s walking over here so i hope you’re ready to make some friends.” she smiles, for extra friendliness point you assume.

“they’re here for you anyways.” you scoff lightly.

you watch as a raven haired boy and his friend with black and gray hair that resembled that of an owl walk up to you. they were both admittedly attractive, very fit guys and the latter of the two looked entirely to happy to be here.

“hey hey hey,” the gray haired one exclaims loudly, “i’m bokuto and this is my best friend akaashi. he wanted to come over and say hi to you.”

“thank you bokuto. you could’ve just let me introduce myself and save the embarrassing comment for another time.” the other boy, akaashi, says.

“well hi! i’m asami.” she greets, holding our her hand, to which the both of them shake.

“and you?” akaashi asked, looking at you with an eyebrow cocked, awaiting your answer.

you had been staring off into space. it was a habit that you had grew into a while ago. usually when people came up to you they came up to talk to asami and never acknowledged your presence so you’ve learned to fill that time with mindless daydreaming. so it came as a surprise that akaashi had also wanted to engage in conversation with you as well.

“i’m, uh, y/n.” you stammer.

“that’s a nice name,” he compliments while maintaining prolonged eye contact, “what apartment do you stay in?”

“we’re in 215,” asami answers and he turns back to her, “how about you guys?”

“that’s wild,” bokuto chimes in excitedly, “we stay a few doors down in 218!”

“how about we hang out later today after everyone settles in?” akaashi suggests looking over at you, noticing that your attention was yet again somewhere else.

“ yeah that’d be cool,” your best friend accepts, taking the lead in the conversation, “how about we exchange numbers?”

they exchange numbers and walk up to your apartments, bokuto pointing out the apartment he shared with his best friend before you walk into your own, parting ways for the time being. asami closes the door behind the both of you, turning around to look at you with a her jaw on the floor.

“what?” you ask, looking back at her with your head cocked to the side. 

“ummmm i know we just talked about someone swooping in and wanting to get to know you instead of me. i manifested this, i am the definition of power,” she cheers, raising her arms as if she were a god while you stared blank faced, unsure of what she meant, “oh you cant seriously be that stupid.”

“well look who’s the mean one now,” you complain, sitting on the couch, “but if you mean bokuto i’m pretty sure he was just excited to make some new friends. he seems like the type to be excited over anything really so i didn’t think anything of it.”

“you really are that stupid, i can’t believe it,” she puts her hands on your shoulders before shaking you, “i mean akaashi! he’s totally into you. maybe if your head wasn’t in the clouds every time someone came up to talk to us you would’ve noticed.”

“akaashi is easily the most looked at guys in this apartment, maybe even on campus once we go back to school. i know there will be plenty of girls lined up at his door once they find out where he lives. i assume he was just being courteous because he saw me standing alone while you went to talk to people.” you reveal, shrugging.

“i don’t think that’s the case at all. he wanted to conversate with you but you were too busy ignoring the world.” she lightheartedly scolds.

“you only see the things you want to.”

“and so do you,” she mocks, sporting a mischievous smile, “how about we make a bet?”

“what now?” you roll your eyes.

“we’re all hanging out right? how about we see who’s really right about akaashi? if it seems like he’s only being friendly then i owe you dinner.” she proposes.

“and if he’s magically smitten by me,” you ask, “what do i owe you?”

“you don’t owe me anything,” she beams, her smile growing wider making her look a little evil, “but you do have to ask mr. mysterious on a date.”

you hesitate for a moment, contemplating this bet. you would be a fool to think you were getting out of a bet with the queen of games and bets of all kinds. but you didn’t wanna put yourself in a position to be hyper aware of the behavior of a man you just met because your friend has a hunch that he may like you. in the end you know you what you have to do.

“let’s do it.”

you make you way to your room to finish unpacking what’s left while asami puts the finishing touches on the rest of your apartment when you get text from an unknown number.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

hey, it’s akaashi from 218. bokuto and i were wondering if it was okay if we hung out at your place. we would invite you over to ours but it’s a bit messy.

-

hi. it’s fine with me. asami is ready for you guys whenever you wanna come over.

akaashi from 218

we’ll be over in a few minutes.

you questioned how akaashi had gotten your number when you don’t remember giving it to anyone.

“asami, akaashi somehow texted me and told me that he and bokuto were coming over,” you say, confusion lacing your voice, “did you give him my number?”

“perhaps,” she says and upon feeling your disapproval from the other room she begins to explain herself, “i mean you weren’t gonna give it to him yourself and i wanted to save you them embarrassment of looking like an asshole to your potential future boyfriend.”

you just ignored her explanation with a sigh and started folding and putting your clothes away until a knock on your door. you stand in the middle of your room listening as your roommate greets the visitors and lets them in. you briefly hear her tell them that you were in your room and that you would join them in a bit. you continue organizing your things while listening to the others talk and get to know each other. after a few minutes, however, a knock on your door startles you and you turn around to see akaashi standing in your door way.

“are you not gonna join the festivities?” he asks.

“i mean i was gonna finish up in here before gracing you all with my presence,” you inform him, “is there a reason for you to come looking for me? i thought you’d be entertained by asami’s antics.”

you motioned for him to come in and sit since it was a little awkward for him to be standing in you doorway. he sits in your beanbag chair, getting comfortable.

“oh yeah asami is super cool but she and bokuto are really similar and i can’t handle that by myself so i decided to come see what you were doing.” he shrugs.

“well we must be best friends now. first you’re looking for me and now you’re getting extra comfy in my room.” you say giving him a small smile which he reciprocates.

“yeah, something like that.” he nods.

you keep unpacking and remember that bet you and asami made before the boys came over, analyzing the behavior of the guy sitting in your room and come to the realization that you may have to hold up your end of the deal. 

your time spent alone with akaashi comes to an end when both of your roommates show up at your door,complaining.

“guys, this was supposed to be a group hangout.” asami grovels, crossing her arms.

“yeah akaashi, you’re hogging y/n. you can’t keep her all to yourself.” bokuto cosigns, pouting.

“alright guys, i guess i can pause what i’m doing,” you say, setting your stuff down, “just get out of my room please, i’m right behind you.”

everyone starts to file out of your room and as you leave asami catches you by the arm and looks at you with a glint in her eyes.

“i think you own someone a date.” she whispers.

“not so fast, he came to ask when i would be out and got comfortable in my beanbag chair. i couldn’t be rude and tell him to leave.” you explain, half lying and she glares at you before the both of you join the others.

you go to sit in a sofa chair next to where bokuto sat when asami pushes you out of way. the only seat left was next to akaashi on the love seat. you stand and stare at asami who feigned a smile of innocence.

“don’t worry y/n, akaashi may look mean but i promise he doesn’t bite.” bokuto says, happily.

you reluctantly sit next to the man, sitting as close to the arm of the couch as you were trying to avoid him like the plague so you could save yourself the embarrassment of asking this very good looking guy out after only meeting him one time. akaashi, however, takes your lack of space as a sign to spread out. he leans back, manspreads and lays his arms across the top of the couch. you glance over and get a bit flustered all the while wondering why a person who seems to keep his distance from people gets so comfortable around two people he’s never met until today.

regardless of your flustered state, everyone makes conversation relatively well. you all talk about how you and asami met and how bokuto and akaashi played volleyball in high school. everyone shared the normal, surface things that you would share with new friends. soon, the questions roll in about personal interests and in that moment asami felt like she would make things a little more interesting.

“so guys,” she starts, looking over at you, “what type of girls do you like? is there any specific body type you like?”

it felt like an attack on you, honestly, but you knew why she asked. all you could do was hold your breath and listen.

“well me, personally, i don’t mind any certain body types, i like them all,” bokuto says, smiling, “when i love or like a person their looks or body type don’t matter to me because i think they’re beautiful all the time!”

“very well said bokuto.” asami compliments.

he nods and it goes silent. everyone was waiting for akaashi’s answer. asami and bokuto stare at him before you look over at him to see if he was just plain not listening to catch him boldly scaling your body up and down. you turn away and clear your throat which breaks his hot gaze on you.

“oh um,” he stutters, “i mean i don’t really mind any body type but i do tend to be more attracted to girls on the thicker and plus sized side. i like soft women.”

you scoff as asami looks at you, practically with stars in her eyes. the attention turns to you.

“you’re just saying things, akaashi.”

“what are you talking about?” he asks as your friends sit back waiting for the drama to ensue.

“i mean i’m only making an assumption based on observations but you’re saying things like this because you’re sitting in a room with me, a plus sized girl, and you don’t want to upset me.” you spit as he looks at you with an amused look. asami face palms as if you just ruined everything.

“you think so?” he smirks and all you could do was nod. everyone’s eyes were still on you.

“so let me prove you wrong,” he says and you immediately heat up, “let’s hang out, just you and i, go out and do something.”

all you can squeak out was an okay and the entire room erupt in hoops and hollers. asami is squealing and bokuto is congratulating his friend for being so smooth. all you could do was sit there, wide eyed and stunned.

after the hype died down you all decided to call it a night and akaashi told you that he would call you to give you details of your hangout while asami just stands there bouncing on her toes excitedly. after you all parts ways yet again, asami squeals and hops up and down.

“i won, i won, i won,” she yells, “and you didn’t even have to ask him on a date isn’t that exciting?”

“you’re overreacting,” you sigh a sigh of relief that they were gone and you could finally breathe correctly, “also, it’s not a date. he said we were hanging out.”

“alone??? that sounds like a date you imbecile!” she says, nudging you. you roll your eyes and head off to your room to try to go to bed but asami follows you and starts bugging you until you have no choice but to get up and put her out.

when you and akaashi finally agree on a day and that day comes, he meets you in the lobby of your apartment building and walks you through the small college town to a cafe with little to no one there. you two sit and akaashi offers to order for you guys. when he walks away you check your phone to see a million texts from your best friend asking how everything was going but before you could even shoot a text back akaashi comes back with your drinks and sits. you give him an awkward smile as a thanks and he chuckles.

“what?” you ask, cocking your head to the side in confusion.

“nothing,” he says, sporting a smile that any girl would die for, “you’re just really quiet.”

“i don’t have much to say i guess.”

“well, how about you tell me about yourself?” he suggests and the conversation blossoms from there.

you tell him lots of obscure things about yourself. small stories turn to full blown giggle sessions. he tells you all about his and bokuto’s friendship and volleyball while you tell him all about your previous class activities while in high school. at some point you start exchanging pictures of yourselves from high school while akaashi shows lots of action shots from his time in volleyball. everything went so well that the time got away from you both and by the time you get back to your apartment it’s late evening, almost night time. of course, asami had words for you but all you could do was stare at her, just letting her talk.

that’s not where your time with the messy haired boy ends though. when classes start up, you and akaashi both realize that all of your classes run on the same time slots so you both had the same free time and you spent that free time with each other. coffee in the morning? akaashi was there with you. study time during mid day, between classes? akaashi was coming and he was bringing you lunch. classes were over and it was now time for dinner? akaashi was bringing bokuto and you were bringing asami for the friend group dinners. sometimes, akaashi would just take you to dinner as if he hadn’t had enough of you. and although you were spending all of this time with him, you had never asked him what exactly was going on between both of you. everything felt very platonic to you nothing ever progressed farther than just being alone together. frankly, you were scared to even ask or have that talk with him out of fear that it’d put a strain on the friendship that you had built. you figured he would just approach you first and let it be. however, a single day had changed the way you had thought of akaashi and what you could’ve been.

it felt weird that you hadn’t seen him at all that day but it soon became irrelevant because he had texted you and told you that he was busy but he would treat you to dinner later so you should meet in the same place you normally do after class.

you did as he said and when you showed up he was with a group of girls that were ogling over him. you were a bit hesitant but you walked up to him.

“hey akaashi?” you utter meekly, trying to ignore the dirty stares you were getting.

“who is this, kaashi? a friend of yours?” a girl questions, her voice dripping with what you could only decipher as an almost venom-like disgust. she was hanging off of his arm and, to be fair, they looked like a legit couple which didn’t help that you were already feeling a little off even witnessing this. she was absolutely gorgeous and, not to mention, thin. if you didn’t know any better you would definitely assume that they were together. she even gave him a cute nickname.

“yeah, something like that,” he answers, not breaking eye contact with you. it was like he was trying to tell you something, “it’s complicated.”

“i was just asking if we were still on for tonight but if you’re still busy then i can go home.” you say, looking away from him and glancing at the other girls who had seemed amused by the interaction.

“well i-” he started before getting interrupted by the same girl.

“actually he and i were gonna go get dinner. you’re free to join us if you want.” she retorts, sarcasm clear in her voice.

“oh no, that’s okay. i was planning on going with some friends,” you say, turning back to akaashi, “i’ll make sure bokuto tags along since you won’t be home.”

you give the group a curt smile before dismissing yourself, not allowing any more words to come from anyone else, listening to the giggles of the group as you walk away. you make your way home and gather the rest of your friends for dinner, trying to keep a brave face for them and while bokuto didn’t notice, asami had been your friend for long enough to know that there was something going on. when dinner was finally over and bokuto made his leave asami made you spill and you did. you couldn’t help but feel like you were overreacting but it was all so overwhelming for you. you liked him a lot so seeing with anyone other than you, especially someone so different from you was a big blow. asami had tried to be positive and look on the bright side but in the end all she could do was take care of you in your state of vulnerable state.

later that night akaashi had stopped by to talk but to no surprise, there was no answer at apartment 215.

----------------------------------

from that point on you avoided akaashi like the plague. you had changed your entire routine to ensure that he wouldn’t be able to find you on campus. coffee in the morning was no more. you no longer stayed on campus during midday and instead went back to your apartment. you stayed inside and ordered takeout most times, making sure to order extra and leave some at 218′s front door for bokuto just in case he hadn’t eaten. you blocked akaashi on everything imaginable in order to move on and pretend nothing ever happen. you even tried to keep your distance from bokuto in fear that he’d ask you about what happen but asami had assured you that that was too far and bokuto was still your friend. it took a lot of cheering up on your end to reassure bokuto that you didn’t hate him. this went on for a whole month and you were managing fairly well until one weekend while you were alone.

it was about two in the morning when you got a knock on your door and in your half asleep state you tried to ignore it, assuming it was someone who was at the wrong door but after a full minute of nonstop knocking you rolled out of bed a little angry that anyone would come to your humble abode at a time like this. you swing the door open, ready to give whoever was so rude to disturb your sleep an earful when you come face to face with akaashi. he was noticeably drunk, a red glow spread across his face and his hair was messier than normal. he basically let’s himself in and stand in the middle of the living room, swaying back and forth. you give him a cold, hard glare as he looks at you with a sad expression.

“what are you doing here at two in the morning when your apartment is a few feet away?” you ask coldly.

“i lost my key and didn’t wanna wake bokuto up. he gets super grumpy if i wake him up.” he slurs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“and so you decided to wake me up instead?”

“i needed to talk to you.” he says.

“there isn’t anything to talk about, akaashi.” you grumble, rather weakly.

“i think there is,” he accuses, hostility become clear even though his speech was impaired for the moment, “you’ve been avoiding me for the past month. i haven’t seen you once, not even in passing. i don’t understand what i could have possibly done.”

“i haven’t been avoiding you,” you say, turning your head to the side to avoid his eyes that were currently burning holes in you from staring so hard, “i’ve just been busy with some things is all.”

“and now you’re lying to me? unbelievable.” he chastises, sounding desperate.

“whatever you say ‘kaashi’.” you spit walking to your room.

“oh so that’s what this is about.” he follows, grabbing your hand to stop you from progressing, “where are you going?”

“no, it’s not and i’m getting my phone and calling bokuto so you can get out of my apartment.” you say, pulling away from from him so you could continue but he wouldn’t let you go.

“i wanna talk about this please.”

“no, akaashi, i don’t, and there’s nothing left to say,” you snap, trying to pry his fingers off of you.

when you finally manage get away from him you walk to your room and feel around in the dark for you phone which you conveniently can no longer find. while searching for it, you hear akaashi’s footsteps run past your room and to the bathroom where you follow him to and hear retching and gagging noises. you knock on the door to ask if he was okay to which he doesn’t reply. you stand outside the door listening to the toilet flush and when the noise subsides you hear sniffling which prompts you to open the door. akaashi was in a crumpled ball with his head between his legs, incoherently mumbling i’m sorry. you sit across from him with a softened gaze. you were both very vulnerable in this moment.

“akaashi-” you try to gather the right words to say before he cuts you off.

“look i don’t know what happened but i just want things back to the way were.” he says through sniffles.

all you could do was get up and grab a few things to help him clean up. you come with an extra toothbrush, a wash cloth for his face and some clothes he had left at your apartment once. he and bokuto always kept certain things here just in case one of them decided to fall asleep on your couch and had somewhere to be the next day. he brushes his teeth and you help him wash his face in his drunken state. he tries to wrap his arms loosely around your waist but after noticing how tense you were under his touch, he let go. you had left him to get changed and go to your room sitting on your bed, in the dark, and start to cry just like you had done so many nights before. once akaashi was done he made his way to where you were and stood in the doorway.

“what’s wrong?” he asks with a groggy voice.

“nothing,” you whisper, clearing you throat, “you can sleep on the couch tonight, but you have to leave in the morning before asami gets back.”

“no.”

“that wasn’t a question and i’m not arguing with you about this.” you say, the cold tone entering your voice yet again.

“i’m not leaving until we fix things between us,” he says sternly, “and you and i both know that asami won’t mind me being here.”

“there isn’t anything to fix akaashi. i told you i was busy.” you say trying to avoid anything escalating.

“clearly there is because you’re still lying,” he grunts, getting more frustrated, “and just so you know, those girls were my classmates who i was working on a group project with. i ditched them as soon as i could and by the time i did you were dodging me like i was the worst thing that could’ve ever happen to you. that shit hurt me, y/n.” 

“it wasn’t just that, akaashi,” you say tiredly, trying to swallow the lump in your throat, the only thing stopping you from crying, “you said those things when we first met and then you were never clear about anything else. i was constantly wondering if you were just doing things to be nice to me because you know not a lot of people are because i look like this. i was racking my brain daily on what your actions really meant because a lot of the things you did were platonic. those are things i would do for my best friend, hell, i’ve done some of those things for your best friend. i didn’t know if you were being nice because you wanted to get close to asami or what? she’s prettier than me, right? and then when i saw you with that one girl and saw how perfect you two looked together and how right it look it was a slap to the face. a reality check if you will. whatever you had in mind in the long run would’ve worked, you should’ve just thought about keeping my feelings out of it because now i’m hurt. more hurt than you actually.”

the room was now silent besides the sound of your sniffing and whimpering.

“well that sounds like a you problem,” akaashi slurs, “i never wanted asami. i didn’t even want that girl. but you couldn’t accept the fact that someone could actually like you and look beyond your body type which i explicitly said i liked a long time ago. but yeah feel free to blame me for this when this whole thing was both of our faults.”

you stare at his silhouette blankly and get up, grabbing a blanket.

“you’re a drunk asshole,” you say, shoving the blanket toward him, “when i wake up you better be gone. i never wanna see your face again.”

you push him away from the door and slam it in him face, tears pricking your eyes once again.

---------------------------------------------

when the morning comes, you open your eyes to see that you were not alone in your bed. akaashi had snuck into your room and now you were laying with your head on his chest while he was staring up at the ceiling, his fingers ghosting the exposed skin on your arm, mindlessly.

“good morning.” he says, letting his arm fall to his side.

“i told you to sleep on the couch why are you here?” you ask, tensing at your close proximity to him.

“i couldn’t sleep there,” he claims, keeping his gaze trained on the ceiling, “i haven’t sleep at all actually.”

a heavy silence washes over you two before he starts speaking again.

“i was an asshole to you last night,” he starts, finally turning his attention to you, “i have no right to bombard you at two in the morning and argue with you and then say what i said to save my own ass. i sincerely apologize.”

you nod and reluctantly accept his apology. he hesitantly continues, seemingly not knowing what to say.

“can we start over?” he asks.

“i don’t know akaashi.”

“let me explain first, please?” he pleads.

you nod and allow him to explain.

“i wanna start off on the right foot. when you and i first met i meant what i said and i failed to see things through on my side. i never did anything more than what you perceived as platonic because i thought you wouldn’t believe me and i didn’t wanna deal with oblivious rejection. but believe me when i say had feelings for you back then and i still have feelings for you now,” he begins, “now, thinking back, i could’ve done the bare minimum to at least hint at the fact that i felt something for you but i didn’t and that was my fault, i could’ve done more. and i fully understand, as much as i can, that seeing me the last time we saw each other was hurtful for you but i promise that it was nothing more than is doing a project and getting a grade. frankly, she was a bother and she wasn’t even my type. i just wish i had tried harder to get a hold of you before i showed up here drunk.”

“understandable.” you say as it was the only word you could muster up the courage to say.

“this time around i want to be completely clear,” he discloses, and upon seeing the confusion on your face he keeps speaking, “i want you to know exactly why i’m doing things for you. i wanna take you out and show you exactly how i feel about you. i wanna be a part of your life in ways that almost no one could even imagine. i wanna know you better than you know yourself. i want to be able to reassure you each and every night that you’re the one i want so we’ll never have go through this again. i want to be openly and stupidly in love with you.”

“akaashi, i don’t know if i can trust that.” you fret, frowning.

“we’ll take things slow, for you. until you can trust me. i just don’t want to lose you like this. we can do this your way y/n, i don’t mind.” he begs.

you sit, silently thinking of how to answer. akaashi becoming more anxious as more time goes by.

“i think i need to think about some things first. maybe try to see things from an outside perspective.” you falter. he lies back and sighs, staring at the ceiling yet again. his breaths become more and more shaky and staggered before he places a small kiss to your temple, getting up, gathering his things and leaving, shutting the door softly behind him.

you continued on with your day, extremely distracted by the thoughts of your night with akaashi and asami knew this immediately as she walked into the apartment.

“whoa there, what’s gotten into you?” she interrogates, setting her bag down.

“could you ask bokuto to come over?” you ask completely spaced out. she complies and soon enough the owl haired boy is standing in your living looking immensely confused.

you summarize the night before and this morning to your friends and they stare in shock as you tell them the happenings. once you finish, bokuto looks deep in thought, then starts speaking.

“well, y/n,” he starts with a complex look on his face, “if i can say one thing believable it’s that akaashi means everything he said to you. he’s like you since he laid eyes on you and i don’t blame him. if he hadn’t told me that he thought you were cute i surely would have came up and talked to you myself. no offense asami.”

“damn y/n you’re two for two this semester.” she says, trying to lighten the mood.

“the whole issue was a miscommunication but coming from someone that lives with him and has known him for so long i can assure you that what akaashi feels for you is very deep. he’s usually a very one track minded and indifferent to almost everyone. he only tolerates me because we’ve been friends for so long,” he explains, “but you’re all he can talk about all the time. from the first date to the first day of classes. even everything in between when you were friends and when you started ignoring him. he tells me all about it. he even freaked out when you started ghosting him. the amount of times i’ve had to lie about hanging out with you in order to not upset him all over again is astronomical. i don’t even know if it’s appropriate to say but akaashi loves you and wants to be with you from what i can see.”

“is there even anything to think about after hearing something like that from akaashi’s one source of credibility?” asami asks and you stare at her, trying to think of a way to spin the situation.

“no?”

“exactly, so it’s time for you to get up and make your way over to 218 to make amends with him.” she says getting up and pushing you towards the door, telling you not to come back until you and akaashi make up.

you tiptoe over to 218 as if walking would let him know that you were coming. you stand in front of his door, taking deep breaths, before knocking. when he comes to the door his eye are blood shot and his nose is red, evident that he had been crying. you stand before him, lifting your hand to his face and caress his cheek with your thumb as he closes his eyes, leaning into your touch. you tried to explain your change of heart but that action was all akaashi needed to know how you felt.

------------------------

akaashi kept his end of the deal and showed you exactly how he felt. he actually went the extra mile. he did things like showing up and your place with flowers, taking you out on random dates and coming to your place to study and bask in your presence. everything was so reassuring that not long after, the two of you started officially dating and akaashi could no longer hold back. he didn’t seem like the type to like pda but you were totally wrong, he was attached to you at the hip whether you like it or not.

one night, while you were alone and talking, you thought of something that was said to you once and decided to share it with him.

“hey kaashi,” you call and he hums in response, “bokuto told me that you both called dibs on me when you first saw me.”

“did he,” he asks looking down at you as your head lied on his chest and you nod, “did he also tell you he’s an idiot.”

“i mean he did say that if you didn’t come up to me that day then he would’ve.” you say and as soon as the words leave your mouth akaashi is straddling your hips.

“and i would’ve kicked his ass.” he says before showering your face in kisses as you giggle. he lets up for a minute to lock eyes with you.

“i love you, you know that right?”

“yes and i love you so much more, akkashi keiji.”

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ending a/n: this was the fic that cured my writer’s block so i hope everyone enjoyed. thank to @ceo-of-daichi for allowing me to join the curves and kisses collab and thank you to everyone reading this now! i know this is already a super long fic but if anyone wants some deleted scenes and such let me know!

~honey