#is that a neurotypical thing to say in this situation?

[zjofierose]

no, eye-to-eye contact is a real thing, and yeah, it can be a threat, but it can also be friendly or intimate or an expression of earnestness. the key is how long you hold it. fleeting eye contact (glance, hold gaze for a second, glance away) is very common in a conversation, especially to make a point or create a sense of camaraderie. sustained eye contact (several seconds or longer) denotes intense attention, which depending on the context can either be “i’m really invested in what you have to say” (which can definitely be read as flirting by some or in certain situations) or it can be “i’m conveying my honesty/earnest intentions” or it can be “i’m intending to establish social dominance” all depending on the context and other body language involved.

as people further up the chain say, looking at other parts of the face is a good approximation for eye contact if you’re not comfortable with it, and most neurotypical folks’s gaze will move around a lot as they converse anyway. they’ll look at their food, their hands, make brief eye contact, look at the person’s hair, get distracted by a passer by, make eye contact again, check their phone, etc etc.

[cumulohimbus]

Well Katy, to tell you the truth, I would be a lot closer to doing amazing if there weren't any unauthorized ants in my apartment. Also if you had communicated with me about my maintenance request literally any of the previous 8 days during which you have been in possession of the knowledge that there are unauthorized ants in my apartment.

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[baycitystygian]

I know I generally embrace being autistic but today the hardest parts of it were really in the foreground for the entire fucking exhausting day… having auditory issues on a VERY important phone call that I needed to make and fighting for my life to understand what the poor sweet insurance lady was saying because the audio was so distorted… having a way-too-long discussion with my sister where I (1) promised to “castrate [her baby daddy] like a hog” for ghosting her and genuinely meant it (thinking about stuffing his nards as a wall trophy tbh, if he doesn’t wanna be a dad so badly then surely it’s no loss to him!) and (2) argued with her about laws that are stupid and shouldn’t apply to her situation (that’s a long story)… which probably did not make her feel any bit better and honestly I think both of us are much more stressed out afterwards. like some situations get me so outrageously mad that I literally cannot handle it and I need to remove myself from the conversation because the other person isn’t budging because it’s something they have zero influence over and they are just trying to explain the damn thing but it’s Wrong in my eyes so I feel the need to argue my case and how the fuck does anyone put up with me

like I know I don’t go into much detail about personal issues on here (or much of anything re: IRL me) but uh. that’s a huge thing I struggle with and I have no clue how to change it. It’s like, does no one else have common sense? Why can’t anyone else see this? and it feels like screaming into the void and it makes me feel terrible and it only stresses out the other person who is Not Getting Paid Enough (well, at ALL) to deal with Whatever This Is

[bokuwadekinaiko]

(advice appreciated + long ass tags)

this sucks this sucks this SUCKS FUCK. ive been hokeschooled / "unschooled" for the entirety of my 8th grade and school is starting again in 2 weeks and i really want and really need to be back in school but idk if im mentally at all ready. opening day would be best to go back obviously but i didn't spend anytime during summer preparing for the routine / fixing my damn sleep schedule but i really need this .

i also know its gonna SUCK because i have severe sensory processing issues (tldr my brain Cannot filter out uncomfortable noises / textures / etc andi go Fucking ballistic and melt/shutdown) and even at home im having multiple daily meltdowns / panic attacks from just the everyday noises / sensations so god forbid what it will be like around 300 teenagers who don't know personal space exists.. i also have a severe anxiety disorder / autism so itll be even MORE fun :-) yaAy (thats not factoring in PDA disorder which is made my dad drop me out anyways because its Fucking Hell trying to go to school with that)

but i want this. i need this . iwant to get an education. i wanr to be around kids my age instead of being forced to be inside all day. i want to have routine and make friends and feel normal. im just scared that because of circumstances out of my control ill never get that

[nyanryan]

the need to have "neurotypical" and "neurodivergent" be two completely different things with no grey area in between is a disservice to both groups. i would say every single person on this earth could qualify as neurodivergent if they bothered to go see a psychiatrist. its just that only certain ppl are going to be put in a situation where they cannot function and need a label to explain it bc society

[whetstonefires]

Idk in my experience a huge slice of autistic adults have not gotten the kind of support they need to learn to communicate about their needs in a useful way.

And have consequently wound up either expecting other people to do basically all the work of both communicating and carrying out practical tasks because that's how it's always worked, or else just reflexively assume the worst of others and have a huge electrified shell of defensive resentment, where they try to do everything themselves without going through the grief of trying to cooperate, because trusting anyone else to take their needs into consideration just does not compute.

These behaviors absolutely do not automatically evaporate around other autistics. Although a less-fucked-up autistic housemate is more likely to be able to figure out what their housemate's actual problems are and work around or through them than an equivalently-sane neurotypical, that's not a magic pill and you still need at least one person to have their shit mostly together.

Or a sufficiently high degree of similarity in inherent brain and societal training to just grok, which does happen but is simply not a guarantee.

It's a heavily traumatized population prone to trust issues and to expecting communication to proceed according to arcane rules and then autofail, so two autistics with mismatched coping skills in the same apartment can be a goddamn cage match.

Non-autistics living with autistics:

They keep eating the same freaking food and it frustrates me so much! We can't have the "big scary light" on just lamps everywhere! Even when I try to find peace by doing stuff with them they just ignore me and do whatever they want. They can't even do the simplest of things like go with me to the grocery store every week! How do people expect them to survive in society??

Autistics living together:

So as long as we get my 10 packets of this really specific food, and some snacks, I'll be okay. Also is it cool if you go to the grocery store? I can clean the bathroom since thats bad sensory for you and the store is bad sensory for me. Can you turn on the lamp instead of the big light? It gives me a headache. Thanks man. Yea I'll unplug the TV for you since you can hear the high pitched noise. Do you want to do two separate things in the same room as bonding again this evening? Thats my favorite part of the day too.

[robylovi]

Why do so many neurotypicals wholeheartedly believe they’re not allowed to refuse to things I feel like I’m going insane

[drchucktingle]

my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great. 

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is. 

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned. 

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’. 

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept. 

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual. 

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

[averysmolkirbo]

PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK SO

ive lost ENTIRE friendships over this kind of thing. how am i supposed to know when you want to bw comforted by a lie?? its worse when you say "be honest" and get mad. Like no. you dont get to do that.

also this has not only lost me friends but has actually cost me ACADEMICALLY.

basically the thing was we had to do a presentation on a bunch of music artists (including one my teacher said was her favorite) and whilst doing research on said favorite i found that they really werent the best person (their wikipedia had a whole separate controversies section) and because it was factual information that i thought was important i put it in my presentation.

i get my grade back and its fine, but im going over what i got wrong and she took points off for the part where i reported less than favorable things on her favorite artist, with a snide comment like "you need to be more careful about what you're claiming against people" despite the fact that these weren't even new allegations, or allegations at all. It was factual info. IT WAS ADMITTED BY THE ARTIST THEMSELF. IT TOOK ME ALL OF 15 SECONDS TO FIND A CREDIBLE SOURCE ON IT. FUCK YOU MEAN "BE CAREFUL WHEN CLAIMING" I AINT ""CLAIMING"" SHIT, IM TELLING YOU FACTS. IT WASNT IN THE RUBRIC THAT WE HAD TO LIE ABOUT IT.

she totally just got mad at me for finding (very surface level, mind you, i'm no fbi agent) dirt on her favorite so she couldnt have a clear conscience about liking them. Similar thing happened to an artist she didnt really like, didnt bat an eyelash. biased bitch.

Also the way she made it sound was like we were personally gonna show it to the artist themselves, or put it in some highly published journal or something. no!! she was literally the only person who would be seeing this. this random artist isnt gonna have their feelings hurt if thats what youre so worried about.

also i think she already hated me for some reason and probably just did that because she hated me. and i have no idea why she even hated me. I did my work. I was nice to HER. I wasnt disruptive. she just hated my undiagnosed autistic vibe or some shit.

and on a side tangent on her, because it was a french class the class had the opportunity to go on a trip and it was (for the most part) great but near the end of the trip she was like super shady and started shit-talking MY MOTHER behind her back, FOR HELPING SOMEONE. And she really thought she was fucking slick bitching about her to our innocent guide in french, thinking she'd have no clue she talking about her. The only problem with that is my mom just so happens to have her bachelor's with a MAJOR IN FRENCH. she used to be a highschool french teacher, just like her. She understood everything they said. When she told me about it i was so pissed i very nearly went up to her face and asked her what her fucking problem was.

like you're not only deciding to say this at all, but you're doing it someone else, behind her back, and in a different language because you know you're being a bitch.

so glad that was one of the last times i ever had to deal with her because couldnt stand her after that. good fucking riddance.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[owl-fruit]

‘

[xitsensunmoon]

People often talk how inaccurate self diagnoses can be for things like autism and while I personally disagree, I found it to be true to some degree. But in a completely opposite direction.

When I just found out about a possibility of me being neurodivergent, maybe, like, a year ago? (Thanks to a peer review by my friends💀) I took an online test for a self diagnosis - RAADS-R. And there's a reason they say "it can be inaccurate".

I think my first "score" was something close to 80 out of 240 possible. It meant I had some of the traits, but a lot of neurotypical people could score that high too.

But I got curious. And so for the next year I was doing my research. Finding out about spoon theory, about energy levels, about light and sound sensitivity, struggles with social cues and such.

I took the test again, a year later. I scored 167.

If your conclusion is "well, obviously you were influenced and the results are biased" you won't be entirely wrong. But the reason for it is not that I faked it. It's that I paid more attention to myself.

If you're living your whole life masking, you're taught to ignore absolutely every symptom of what may be autism or ADHD. My whole life I was thinking that I'm "weird" or "broken" or "different" or or or. I knew that I'm living my life somehow different than people around me. It felt like everyone got a tutorial how to live this life and I skipped it. But I could never understand why.

So, why did I score higher the second time I took the test? Because the first time all of the "weird" situations were never linked to autism in my brain. I had two dots, the connection between them being autism. But I never recognised the said connection, due to the high-masking nature that helped me to cope with everyday struggles.

But the second I made the connection, suddenly everything made sense. Suddenly, it's not "I'm too sensitive", it's not "something is wrong with me", it's not "why am I not enjoying this while others do?". It's fucking autism(and ADHD too, lol.)

That's the reason your diagnosis may be not as accurate as you think. Your brain can try and protect you from making the connection between your experiences and the diagnosis. Or, of course, there's a possibility to make a wrong connection, too.

But you're the only one who can find out. There's no one out there who knows you better than yourself.

[thesylverlining]

Okay, this is likely the only thing I'll post on the Bad Batch finale situation:

Tech fans, I would like you to stop calling yourselves "delusional." (Or delulu, or any variant.) I would sincerely ask others to stop as well.

It is both ableist and quite literally inaccurate from a storycraft standpoint.

(Especially because we're talking about a likely neurodivergent character and definitely many neurodivergent fans.)

You weren't. We weren't. The signs were there. The foreshadowing (falling into clouds, the goggles, CX2's Everything) was real and consistent and *intentional.* You are not delusional for LOGICALLY FOLLOWING writing convention patterns and leading where the writing is directing you. (If there's something the majority of autistic story-enthusiasts are good at, it's logical storycraft and pattern recognition, both in creating and consuming! We know how to follow basic steps!)

They can say "oh it was just a red herring", and that is Technically (ha) true, but it is one of the most blatant and frankly cruelly marketed ones, that smacks of stringing fan emotions along to keep us watching when they know many would stop watching if they knew what lay ahead. (Using a basically-confirmed-autistic character's death for shock value and little else, and then using the ambiguity of Is He Really Dead Or Is He This Extremely Similar Looking Guy We Brought in Right After' to keep churning up social media buzz. I might have.)

You were not delusional to have hope - that's what Star Wars is about.

You are not delusional to think this is wrong, a writing fumble, or simply them yanking the football away when *it was there all along.* The road signs were clear, they were just... lying, for lack of a better term.

You're not wrong for being upset about this, the latest in a long history of autistic characters treated as plot devices and catalysts for neurotypical characters' development rather than their own, and fans taken advantage of.

Please treat yourselves better. And if you're on the outside, or neurotypical, please treat us better. I promise, we have actual reasons for feeling pain right now, and delusions are not at all among them.

Thank you.

[bullywugprincess]

As an autistic person, I think some autistic people (and neurotypicals attempting to be good allies) are sometimes doing more harm than good with how insistent we are that autistic people are as capable of achievements as anyone else.

I’m feeling quite tired right now and writing this first go without thinking too much about how I’m wording it, so please bear with me while I explain how I mean that. Basically I just saw a post of a father saying his son is autistic and has struggled to get a job because of it, but he was a really polite, sweet young man, and because of his personality one employer overlooked his struggles and gave him his first job. The post was him showing pride in his sons hood personality and spirit, and half the comments were autistic people saying it was patronising and “of course he can get a job, autistic people can do normal things and achieve things like everyone else.”

And look. I get it. We’re tired of being treated like children. We’re tired of being the subject of “inspo porn”. We’re tired of people acting like we can’t do things just because we’re autistic. But I think a lot of autistic people who are more well adapted and low-needs (again please excuse my terming, I know we don’t use low functioning/high functioning labels anymore but I don’t know what the alternative is) get offended by people acknowledging that some autistic people DO struggle, whether it’s with making friends or academically or with getting and keeping a job. Statistically speaking 3 in 10 autistic adults are in full time employment, compared to 8 in 10 non-disabled adults. And yeah that statistics probably off because of how many people go through life undiagnosed, but the point still stands. Because of learning difficulties, problems with socialisation or being unable to cope in a work environment due to sensory and other issues, many autistic people are unable to work. I don’t know the situation of the son from the post, but it is clearly something he’s struggled with, and the dad is not being patronising by acknowledging that struggle and praising him for overcoming it. By responding to a post like that by saying “of course autistic people can get jobs”, you are doing what ableists do. You are implying that people who can’t work because of their autism are actually just not trying. You are making autistic people who feel really proud of themselves for getting a job despite the difficulties they face seem stupid for it. And, if you’re not careful, you become someone’s excuse to claim autistic people don’t deserve accommodation or disability allowance/benefits because “they don’t need it, autistic people are perfectly capable of getting jobs.”

Another thing to consider: think about that person who said “you’re autistic? But you don’t behave like my 7 year old nephew? That’s not what autism is.” By saying autistic people can do something because YOU can do it is setting a rigid view of What Autism Is. Which like. We’ve all established is bad.

Again I’d like to apologise for how badly worded and ramble-y this is but autism is a disability, and it effects everyone with it differently. Let’s not diminish other people’s struggles

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for dropping a friend for being cringe? Obligatory "cringe culture is dead" or whatever people say to feel better about liking kids shows. I (22F) have this friend (21 NB), and we've been friends since high school. We're in college now. This friend of mine genuinely makes me cringe so much I don't think I can maintain this friendship anymore. At the time of writing this I've only been texting them to reply to anything they say, and even then it's a one word answer or an image at most.

They've always been cringe, but when you're a neurodivergent woc in one of the whitest states in the country, you take what you get in terms of friendship. Beggars can't be choosers or whatever. I don't know why I let the world let me think I'm a beggar though.

Anyways, It's a lot of things. They fucking dabbed, without a hint of irony, when I was walking up to them and I considered pretending I didn't know them and walking past. They have this comically nasal voice and are completely incapable of having an appropriate volume anywhere. Like fuck man how do you sound more autistic than me? Their style is so fucking ugly I feel sick looking at them sometimes. They're not dirty or smelly or anything but jesus fuck at least match a color. What I think broke the camel's back was going out to a movie with them. They would NOT shut the fuck up. Like goddamn fuck off I'm trying to enjoy the movie. Stop eating my fucking popcorn bitch. To their credit they did stop after I told them to. I feel embarrassed bringing them anywhere. My brother has asked me multiple times why I hang out with this individual, and I think this is what made me completely reconsider. He's neurotypical and more emotionally intelligent than me, and due to being younger will always keep it real with me, so I trust his judgment. I'm not an emotional person or anything so I can't say I feel much of a bond with people in the first place, so I don't feel bad ab potentially cutting this person off.

I realized I fall into this situation a lot as a neurodivergent woman of color, which is being friends with ugly white people I should know I'm too good to even look at. I've already had other friends tell me I'm too pretty to be seen with them. Objectively? They're right. I'd rather be friendless than interact with this bastard anymore. I've already dropped most of my former friends from before college for similar reasons.

What are these acronyms?

[sodomy-and-the-boyscouts]

Does anyone else with autism literally not know what sensory things are bothering them unless they somehow find out or make a sustained effort to know what it is?

Like, I see all these posts that will be like “i can’t x because the light is too loud” or “my scalp hurts” or something, and that’s fine because those are the reasons that these feelings are happening, but oftentimes when I’m in a situation I have just mentally unconsciously blocked out whatever it is, like say it’s a repetitive buzzing from a light, i’ll just be PISSED and I won’t know why, and then i’ll realize i’m pissed, and then maybe I’ll step too close and hear the light buzzing and be like “OH”.

Like I feel like I’m never right away conscious of what’s bothering me, or even that something IS bothering me, I just start acting out for what feels like no reason.

Like, it genuinely took me YEARS to realize that why i’m so uncomfortable in certain places is because of how loud fluorescent lights are. (like, I know they light a space well, but I can’t be the only one that is bothered by such loud appliances, I feel like a know many neurotypical people who should also be upset over a buzzing light. why did we, as a society, decide to install vibrating lights everywhere?)