#and there are things that not even therapy can fix only make tiny improvements

[satureja13]

Even though Jack had such an amazing day with Lou, he couldn't wait to log out and tell the others that the second painful spot is gone! Since their therapies go so well, they don't monitor each session all together anymore. One of them is supposed to be near the one who's currently ingame, so they installed an opening in the kitchen to the therapy room.

Jack immediately took off the VR glasses and the robo arm and his shirt to show Ji Ho his progress ^^' Ji Ho: "Oh Jack, that's amazing!" Jack: "All thanks to our incredible Tiny Can! Let's show the others! Ah I'm so glad I didn't give up and went back ingame!" Ji Ho: "I'm so happy for you." Jack: "I love you too :3 "

Meanwhile Saiwa is working hard to overcome his 'bird/fake relationship/Kiyoshi/Jeb problems... He went all in in his exposure therapy and even placed flamingo lounge chairs so he can practice here too... But he's having a hard time going through all these memories again. And Vlad wasn't very helpful. He's still worrying what Caleb might do with Ji Ho in Ji Ho's therapy. Saiwa sighed: "Don't give Ji Ho a hard time, hm? Try a little harder to make him feel good so he won't fall even more for Caleb. It will soon be over and then he's yours alone. Hang on." Sai already told him this a few times before. But he also knows how hard it is to change and accept things one couldn't change.

Luckily Jack came running along with Ji Ho to disturb their gloomy thoughts with his never failing puppy energy ^^' Saiwa heard their footsteps and was alarmed. He always expects the worst when Jack is involved ö.Ö' Saiwa: "Omg - did something go wrong?" Jack: "VLAD! SAI! The second spot is already gone! Only ONE left!"

Saiwa, relieved: "That's unbelievable! I never imagined it would ever get better without you getting back together with Kiyoshi! I mean, he's your fated mate. How is it possible you can leave him just like that?" Jack: "Hey, I endured over 6 months of searing pain! Fate learned now that I'm determined! Plus I'm the Su..." The others chimed in: "Super Soldier!" (hahaha, them ^^')

They are so happy for Jack :3 There is a new area to sit outside by the river and they gathered by the fire. Jack told them about his insightful talk with Lou which also inspired the others to try to find ways to improve their relationships. And, since the Therapy Game is going so well for them, they also discussed how they could make it acessable for the creatures in the real world, as planned. They currently can't be of any help for other creatures in the Muggle World who suffer under the Council and from other hazards. The least they can do is to offer them the Therapy Game. Vlad only listens half-heartedly.

Jack tries to convince Saiwa to let him go back in his therapy before the others but Saiwa insists that they take turns. Ji Ho's therapy is important too. To finally find his buried feelings and to get this over with Caleb to prevent Vlad from going insane... Which is nearer than one might think because suddenly he jumped up in and threw a jealousy tantrum...

Jack: "We should leave them alone."

Ji Ho: "We'll talk about the game later." Only Ji Ho can fix him.

Jack: "Come on, Sai. Let them charge the Bond. We'll go and play Simbles." Sai looked questioning at Ji Ho and he nodded.

Doesn't mean it isn't still awkward as hell when they're alone...

Ji Ho eventually made the first move and carefully approached Vlad - and Vlad hissed! But Ji Ho learned not to be offended. The Bond already told him how much Vlad craves Ji Ho's touch. He just can't let his foolish pride and priciples go...

The Little Goats Satyrs have a new friend as it seems! Little Dust Bunny joined them and they are briefing him on the story hahaha

Until Little Goat heard some highly anticipated and telling noises... He sneaked around the corner to take a look.

Little Goat: 'Boys! Come over! They're doing it!!!' Little Dust Bunny: 'Whoa!' The Little Goats delivered on their promises ^^'

'Reach out, touch faith

Your own personal Jesus, someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares Your own personal Jesus, someone to hear your prayers Someone who's there'

Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode

Ji Ho hesitantly reached out for Vlad and he looks a bit worried because he knows how much Vlad tries to avoid getting overly physical as long as Ji Ho isn't able to love him... And Ji Ho still can't get used to Vlad's hairless chest ^^'

Ji Ho: "I'm yours alone. I only want you." That's what the Bond is telling Vlad too but it's still killing him that Ji Ho is going to marry Caleb ingame. Ji Ho will make him forget it. At least for a while. Little Goats and Little Dust Bunny: 'Aouwww!'

Poor Jack and Saiwa. Let's hope they'll find love again soon too.

(I took a lot of pics of Vlad and Ji Ho in the hot tub. I'll make a little extra post like last time ^^')

Addendum: After I posted 'A Rainy Night in Soho' in the last episode, I googled around a bit for Nick Cave and this song and I found out that he and Shane had been good friends. And that Nick sang 'A Rainy Night in Soho' at Shane's funeral. I didn't cry when I heard that Shane died, but when I watched the video, I did. (I still do as I write this. Thank you for the music, Shane.)

'Now the song is nearly over We may never find out what it means Still there's a light I hold before me You're the measure of my dreams The measure of my dreams'

The Therapy Game Master Post with the sessions and places so far is -> here

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest Current Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[dissociativediscourse]

Time to blog a little bit on the blog. Blog-style.

So… I disappeared. A lot of stuff happened. All good stuff, at least in the long run!

First off, my DID is officially in remission. I achieved ‘final fusion’ fairly recently, and I’m still continuing to learning how to navigate this new phase of life. Healing from trauma won’t fix all issues; not only is there lifelong maintenance and mindfulness to continue living that Grounded Life™️, but I still have a lot of work to do in other areas! All of it is made so much easier by this healing milestone, however.

I may or may not make a post about my experience with this kind of healing. It’s been beautiful. I’m truly in love with the world around me these days — I truly feel infinitely grateful for the opportunity to be able to truly experience and be present for all of the things that come about — even if some things feel like shit. Whether or not I enjoy what’s happening in the moment, I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to actually live that moment and experience it and have the experience I gain from it right there.

I could rant about all that forever, but that’s for another time. I’m always happy to answer questions about this experience/my experience with FF in general, also!

Other than that, I’ve just been making a bunch of major life changes and improvements! I’m teaching my own class at my synagogue’s religious school. I’m finally for real in college and overachieving. (Therapy, here I come). I may begin working in a local psych unit. I am in a genuinely healthy and loving long-term relationship with another person who is also at this phase in recovery, though not with DID. I volunteer however I can to help with local recovery/support groups. I am sober. I am surrounding myself with people with similar goals and similar drive to achieve them. I joined a Chavurah, lol. I am learning Hebrew and doing well with it! I’m baking a ton. Making chocolates, too, lol. I make kombucha now! There’s so much good in my life right now.

Things really do get better. And I’m still getting used to this kind of life and the work that comes with it. But… I’m prepared for it. I’ve survived the hardest part and come out the other end. Now I’m ready to do more than just survive. I’m ready to live!!!

I guess I just wanted to give a tiny little update. I haven’t really been around lately; I haven’t really been online much in general lately. I’m just… Too busy taking it all in. Life is so precious and beautiful to me at this point that I just can’t stop being and growing and experiencing and living and going and seeing and doing and feeling. I’m thankful to be here.

[gwynniethenymph]

soo, hi everyone, @cynthiesjmxazrielslover and @morningstarprints (I'm tagging you because you seem super excited)! I'm here with

Engravings of Your Oceans

Chapter One

"I think you should burn that fluffy hair of hers."

Gwyn could only stop mid-squat and stare at the vicious glint in Nesta's eyes while Emerie threw her head back and barked a laugh.

"I fully support it. It's either this, or you could take those expensive scissors in the library and stick them down her throat," Emerie suggested, smirking at Gwyn's amused huff.

"Or, perhaps, you both could search for therapy," Gwyn replied playfully, though there was a hint of seriousness in her voice.

"You really want me to end up in the psych ward, don't you?" Nesta narrowed her eyes at Gwyn. "Besides, I don't need therapy when I can punch Cassian."

The oldest Archeron sister was a few weeks away from marrying Emerie's brother, Cassian Illyrian, and Gwyn couldn't be happier for her.

"Aaand," Nesta continued, "you could punch Merril as a form of therapy!" Gwyn couldn't stop her giggle this time, even when she looked at Nesta in amused reproach.

"She's just... being Merril. I should have expected it."

Merril had been her advisor for the last year, and while she was a brutal, wicked, overcritical, perfectionist, picky witch, she was still brilliant—even when she forced Gwyn to reformulate her final thesis for a second time.

Although Clotho said the research was, quote, "innovative, cunning, perfectly written and detailed," Gwyn had to admit it lacked something—the very thing that had made her start her doctorate in the first place. It lacked the... excitement she’d felt at the beginning. But there was no time to dwell on that, as Cassian shouted at her from across the gym to stop gossiping and "squat all the way down."

Squatting "all the way down" as demanded, Gwyn stuck her tongue out at him, unable to flip him off with the barbell weighing down her shoulders. Each squat was more and more difficult with the additional weight Cass had suggested, and by the end of her set she laid out on the floor, completely spent. Nesta giggled, "Come on, get up. You still need to stretch and cool down, or Cassian will never let you leave."

They talked about nothing special while stretching, but Gwyn was already feeling that ugly thing inside her chest prickle when Emerie, Nes, and Cass said their goodbyes and took off. None of them would be alone tonight, Emerie going home to her girlfriend and the love-hate birds going together to their apartment, Gwyn thought.

Except, of course, for her.

She would return to her apartment now. She could put on some music, take a shower, maybe even cook something. It would be fine—she repeated to herself. Not silent. Not empty. Not at all.

Or perhaps...

Enjoying the gentle breeze of Velaris' night, she made her way along the sidewalks close to the Sidra, taking in the bustling city around her. The commercial night in the capital of Noctis was loud and alive, and she loved it. Nights were never easy, and a silent city would only make everything worse.

But instead of taking the left corner to her apartment, Gwyn kept walking to the beautiful building in the center, across the Rainbow Bridge. The library only offered quiet whispers and the gentle flip of pages, but she could check on the new history section, find something to improve her damn thesis. Gwyn knew that if Nesta ever found out she spent another night awake, she would never have peace again.

But, for the moment, she wanted only to chase that emerging anxiety away.

So Gwyn headed through the tall wooden doors and made her way across the stacks.

***

“Mother above, you are going to spoil him rotten.”

Rhys watched Nyx’s giggles with a soft smile, his tone light. Azriel chuckled, his gaze fixed on the baby’s tiny fingers grasping at his own.

Feyre came over to Azriel, hovering for a moment, to adjust Nyx’s blanket gently. “Well, someone has to. He’s too adorable not to be spoiled a little.”

Rhysand gave a playful grin. “True. But we might be setting him up for high expectations.”

Azriel relaxed into the armchair, Nyx cooing contentedly in his arms. “Can’t hurt to enjoy the good moments.”

This little moments were, honestly, the best part of his week. It was a daily routine - Gym, work, Nyx. Or rather, passing by to see his family, as Rhys would put. Rhysand leaned back in his chair.

“So, what’s new with you? Anything interesting on the job front?”

Azriel glanced out the window, thinking about the long night ahead. The meeting with his new contractor was... odd, at least. Plus, the unusual request to find a damn ancient sword, with no records whatsoever, got on his nerves. But the money was good and the man's information was trustworthy, so Azriel went along with the case. “Just a contractor asking about an old sword. Seems a bit off.”

Feyre looked up with interest. “Oh? What’s the story there?”

Azriel shrugged.

“Not much to go on. I’m heading to the library tonight to dig into some archives. Thought it might be worth a look.”

Rhysand raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Heading to the library? And here I was, thinking you couldn't read.”

Azriel rolled his eyes at his brother. “Yeah, it helps to focus. I’ve got some files to go through.”

Feyre offered a warm smile. “Just make sure you take it easy. Don’t burn out.” Sweet, gentle Feyre. She was Rhys' best side, but Azriel couldn't help but find her advice a little bit... useless. He had nothing to do but work, no family of his own to go home to. So he never went easy.

Azriel gave a brief nod. “I’ll be fine.” He played with Nyx for a little while before grabbing his coat and proceeding to say his goodbyes, Rhysand patting him on the shoulder. “Alright then. Let us know if you need anything.”

The drive from Rhys' house to the library was quiet, thoughts lingering too much for Azriel's liking. He barely recorded entering the tall, dark brown doors of the old building or greeting the scholars. But he found himself in front of a rather trembling looking intern, patiently asking for directions.

"Is something about... the Riveri people, I guess? Anything about the Prithyan armory between 2000 BCE and 500 CE, really."

The brunette girl seemed to swallow before answering, and Azriel thought it was probably her first week working there.

"Records about this Era are in the private area, sir. So I'm afraid I can't give you access to those."

Azriel huffed. "Oh, come on. Don't you know who I am?" He passed his commercial card swiftly to her, along with a few bucks, of course. The girl - Lille, her name tag said - widened her eyes before giving him a court nod. Azriel smirked at her.

She led him to the backs of the library, quickly pressing her card to grant him access, before turning and placing a delicate finger on his chest. "So, if you need any help inside there..." She bit her lip and, Azriel must confess, he was surprised. She seemed way too young and skittish to even know the seductive tone in her next words "I'll be here."

Deciding the better way to proceed was ignoring her, he simply entered the private area and closed the door before she could enter. Silly girl. Azriel took a deep breath before checking his surroundings and concluding that he was probably alone.

It took what could have been hours or minutes to find something merely related to those Riveri folks his contractor mentioned. Running his fingers on the books of the "unknown/ unrecorded civilizations" stack, he stopped in front of a random file, seemingly forgotten.

"Riveri Archery", the blue archive said. So he tried to pull it out but, for some reason, it didn't come out of the stacks. So he pulled again. This time, something pulled back and, startled, Azriel pulled harder.

A few books fell on the floor, dust hovering the air, and revealing a hand connect to the file his hand was connected with. And that hand led to an pale, graceful and frecked arm.

Lifting his eyes, Azriel was met with the teal of oceans and creased auburn brows.

Well, he should have seen it coming, honestly.

"Hello, Berdara."

[owl-fruit]

‘

[starlightshadowsworld]

YGO Protagonists

Atem:

*Oldest brother... Literal dad

*Is very protective over the rest of them

*Seriously don't touch a hair on their heads because you will lose your soul.

*He totally has Kaiba on Speed dial and calls him over the dumbest things to get a rise out of him (but they are friendly?( Seto would also murder you dead if you hurt these munchkins he just won't admit it... (I will not apologise for this)

*Does not understand memes (mee mee's?) but tells dad puns for days.

*Always gives compliments and gives great life/dueling advice to the rest (puts a hand on their shoulders with that knowing and proud look).

*Will spend hours bragging about how far Judai's come, how smart and talented Yusei and Yusaku, how Yuya and Yuga created original dualing rules, how Yugi is awesome. He will tell anyone and everyone (they all secretly love it)

Yugi Mouto:

*Younger older brother? (identical twins but younger of the two)

*Super optimistic, always there to lend a hand and is very pacifistic... but will throw hands if the situation requires and without hesitation.

*Has Kaibaman in his deck to spite Kaiba (it works every time)

*HE SHARPENS HIS HAIR!

*Yes it can pierce a wall... It was for science.

*Usually the one to help escalate the chaos, and than pretends to have no idea why the house is upside down... And on fire... And the fire is green.

*Is the only one other than Atem to get Yusei to go to sleep.

*He loves puzzles, telling riddles and leaving little clues around the house for the others to solve (and they always get a present even if they get it wrong because they tried.)

*Doesn't see anything wrong with his fashion sense.

Judai Yuki:

*Problem child 1, needs a hug

*Memelord, will constantly troll Atem with movie references, and anything he can think of. (Yes he does quote the star wars prequels during duals.)

*Yubel makes sure he's looking after himself and has woven their way into the family. They and Astral have fun conversations. (Pharaoh the cat gets on very well with Atem... Werid.)

*Either he's happy, outgoing and herding the younger kids into various pranks. Rounding up Yuya, Yuma, Yuga and Yugi into his antics, (we don't speak of the Eggwitch incident). Sometimes he manages to drag Yusaku in to join them, giving them all a part to play and praising their efforts (they haven't been caught)

*OR he's depressed, haunted and full of guilt. He finds comfort by spending time with the others, hating being on his own. Everyone even those fairly reserved pick up on his mood and direct him to different tasks. Especially with Yuya, both of them can talk for hours about what ifs, shoulds and shouldn'ts.

*Favourite non dualing activity is helping Yusei to bake, he has burned many a cookie but he loves icing cakes.

*Very protective, will tap into the power of the Supreme King and Yubels abilities sometimes as unconsciously when one of the others are upset, or he's pushed into a corner.

Yusei Fudo:

*Oldest after the twins, literal mum

*Can't take care of himself to save his life but cares deeply for the others. Packing them lunches, helping them with school work etc.

*Takes Yusaku under his wing as soon as he sees his tech skills, both of them stay up for hours working on projects until Yugi scolds them at 4 am.

*Always half asleep, covered in oil and holding a cup of coffee (no he doesn't have a problem.) He mumbles codes and always seems to fall asleep holding a wrench.

*Usually he's accompanied by Yuga or Yusaku, either sitting and asking questions about their projects or working on a shared on/Yusaku's own stuff. He doesn't like working alone so it works out.

*Can do the "Mum look" and it has stopped the Supreme King, Dark Zexal and Zarc in their tracks.

*Card games on Motorcycles...having his bike borrowed by the little ones who want to play a card game on a bike but aren't old enough or know how to drive.

*Likes to bake, learned from Martha to give the others birthday treats and finds it fun.

*Claims he can never get sick... Liar.

Yusaku Fujiki

*Problem child 2 (all problem children need hugs and therapy, Kaiba get your wallet)

*Tried to stay closed off from the others but finds he enjoys their company and their antics.

*He has a Metapod hoodie that Yuya won at a carnival and gifted him. He wears it all the time, its cosy.

*Pretty Awkward, very cold sometimes without meaning it but somehow there all able to understand what he means without getting upset or offended.

*He spends hours working on projects with Yusei, neither talk much and it's a comfortable silence. Yuga often accompanies them, full of questions and joy and he enjoys sharing his work.

*Prefers to watch the others dual than to dual himself, absorbing the strategies and while he doesn't quite understand their motives... He finds himself smiling at Yuya's shows, wondering what he means with his smiling routine.

*Offhandedly told Kaiba that he fixed some holes in his security system. Kaiba went on a firing spree (yes with his firing people coat) and his was promptly hired. He actually enjoys it, and is now Kaiba's favourite brat.

*Also... The missing persons list is growing after Yusaku finally opened up about his past.... Werid.

Yuya Sakaki

*Problem child 3 (see above)

*Smiles go for miles

*Finds a lot of comfort from the others. The first time he let slip about Zarc, Judai was right there with his glowing green/orange eyes and they bonded instantly.

*He tries to only dual for entertainment and fun but that can't always be the case, though it really rattles him up afterwards. Do not make him mad in a dual if you value your life.

*Plays a lot with Yuma and Yuga, as the oldest of the trio he tries to set an example... He never said it was a good one....hes part of Zarc.

*He always has a game, an idea and the others will always be his faithful audience. He's made real solid dualing into an art, Atem and Judai have made his monsters real at times without the need for the tech (it was beautiful)

*Starts the appreciate Dragons Fanclub with Yusei and Kaiba.

*Yes to capes (Sorry Edna)

*Fusion dimension isn't available at the moment... Or the forceable future.

Yuma Tsukumo

*Second youngest, space boy

*Atem gives him advice and praises every one of his duals even he loses, teaching him that every one can be used as a step towards success.

*Astral befriends Yubel, and often makes remarks at the Zarc fragments, he and Yuuri get on the others nerve.

*He spends most of his time with Yuya and Yuga, either dualing, watching Yuya dualtain or pranking. He started their lengendary prank war against Judai and Yugi...(Yusei was out of the house for a week and Atem gave up). It was a battle for the ages.

*He does worry at times that he's so behind the others skill's levels but as he gets closer to them it matters less. He cheers on every one of them, bragging about how cool they are.

*He takes up other hobbies, baking, cooking, and dragging everyone into family game nights. Which all end fine and do not result in a pissed of Zarc threathing Wario before kicking his switch out of a window... Nope absolutely not.

*Has a constellation book.

*Likes using big words he doesn't know the meaning off. And than trying and failing to convince everyone he knows exactly what he just said without googling it... While Astral facepalms, definitely picked it up from Yusei.

Yuga Ohda

*Tiny baby

*Yugi picked him up once and everyone starting to sing "it's the circle of life."

*He loves watching Yusei and Yasuke work, because they answer his questions properly and look at his inventions with respect and a critical but kind eye. They slowly teach him his to improve and it shows in his work.

*All of them were interested in his Rush duals and listen to him explain, finding it interesting and another new way to play.

*Yuya teaches him how to dualtain, both of them putting on hippo-tastic shows for their friends and loved ones. Fulfilling their goals to have fun.

*He steals everyone's hoodies and jackets, doesn't care how big they are he will steal them and wear them. And look adorable despite his argument that he isn't.

*Everyone is the most protective of him as he's the youngest and while he's touched, he's super protective over them and offers himself as a cuddle buddy whenever anyone has nightmares.

And there all one big crazy family

[andorlorian]

okay so I do have an anakin fix it au floating around in my brain in which revenge of the sith goes as well as it possibly could BUT that's not the important part of this post the IMPORTANT part is what happens to maul in this au. (disclaimer: all I know about maul's backstory is from watching the clone wars and reading his wookiepedia page so some of this might be inaccurate. bear with me)

okay so because order 66 didn't happen, maul is brought before the council. he was sith so the council would want to deal with him personally

I think with palpatine dead (fully and completely 100% dead no take backs) the influence of the dark side everywhere would be lessened. everyone would feel a lot clearer, happier, brighter, like a dark cloud had been lifted from their mind. this would include maul.

however, for maul, diving deep into the dark side has been something of a coping mechanism. amassing as much power as possible and giving yourself over to this dark higher power means you don't have the contemplate the fact that you were stolen from your family and home world and fed incredibly damaging rhetoric from the man who 1) let you die 2) immediately upon finding out you were still alive electrocuted the fuck out of you and killed the last part of your family and (imo) the only person you ever truly loved

so maul upon arriving to the jedi council, while slightly less affected by the dark side, is still full of pure rage, hate, and a clusterfuck of other emotions brought about by thinking about the jedi. he's a whole disaster

okay this is going to get very very long I'm going to put a read more here

I imagine some in the council would like to kill or exile him and be done with it, but after the inherent trauma of the clone wars and seeing how far separated from their ideals the jedi order has become, they'd show him mercy. this part may not necessarily make 100% sense but shut up this is the good things for maul au maul gets good things

therefore, the council would vote in favor of rehabilitation. what I imagine this would look like is maul would be heavily guarded and watched, and whenever possible he would be visited by jedi masters (and masters ONLY. they're not dumb)

maul gets his own quarters, which are big enough not to be stifling or tiny but small enough to still fit in a jedi temple where they value austerity and forsaking possessions. they would want to give maul as much freedom as possible while making sure he couldn't be a threat to anyone around him, which would mean he doesn't have much freedom at all. he's fed and watered and visited by at least one jedi master a day. these visits are usually someone meditating and trying to rehabilitate maul's mind while not being openly invading, rather guiding maul's broken mind into its natural state and removing palpatine's influence. these visits are also good old fashioned therapy (maul desperately needs to talk some shit out)

it would take a very very very long time but with guided meditation and constant consistent kindness and understanding shown to him by the jedi maul would start to heal. one of the major things that palpatine forcibly shoved into his brain is a distrust and particular hatred for the jedi, but after spending so many years in their care and with constant (almost annoying) understanding that belief system would start to break down.

it would start small. like one day maybe instead of feeling rage and anger around savage's death he feels sadness because for the first time he's in an environment where he has the space to breathe and remember his brother

I think once maul has actually started to improve a little bit and moved past his rage and murder phase that's when obi-wan would visit him. which would definitely bring back some rage and murder but also it would bring maul some closure. I'd imagine they'd both need some sort of closure, considering maul killed qui gon and obi-wan essentially killed him. but obi-wan saying something like "I forgive you. I'm not your enemy." that might throw a wrench into maul's thinking

so over time, maul is becoming less and less emotionally tumultuous. he's in a stable environment in which a set group of people visit him daily solely for the purpose of rehabilitating him, both through the force and just regular conversation as equals. eventually, after enough time in this environment, whoever maul is beneath the rage and pain and the dark side would emerge

this is the side of maul that I wrote this for. this is why he's one of my favorites.

maul is deeply intelligent, and rather calculating. while he usually forgoes rational thought to scream "kenOBIIIIIII" into the night he's very good at assessing a situation and how to get the best possible outcome. he feels things very deeply but he's incredibly bad at naming exactly what his feelings are and he's not very good at reading the emotions of others. I think a flaw of his is that he really forgets to take emotions into account, while for the jedi that's kind of their whole thing. (yeah the jedi are stereotyped as unfeeling warriors but that's not true at all, they acknowledge and release their feelings into the force. for them their feelings are the force.)

I think one day when maul is beyond resisting his existence at the jedi temple, when he slowly realizes "hey my life sucks a whole lot less than before" he manages to actually solve a problem for one of the masters who visits him regularly and has become the closest thing he can really have to a friend. said master (maybe kit fisto just because I like kit fisto) rants about a problem or a mission that they're having and maul just goes "well it's obvious, really." and manages to solve the problem like that by nature of his unique perspective.

and after a looong amount of time has passed, maul's role shifts from enemy, victim, and a patient to being a voice of rationality, a problem-solver, and someone to rant to when the whole jedi master thing gets to be A Lot™

seriously though I cannot stress how long it would take for maul to heal and get to this point. MINIMUM five years.

eventually maul and some people he's forged friendships with petition the council to allow him to have some more freedom. while extremely hesitant, without palps clouding their vision they could much more clearly see maul's mental state and what sort of danger he would pose to the jedi, and they would let him move freely about the temple

okay here's my favorite part of this whole thing. maul is a fucking nerd. he discovers the jedi library and goes insane. maul would read so many books about so many different things because he's interested in everything and he'd want to build his knowledge in a myriad of subjects. he would spend hours upon hours in the jedi library just reading every single thing in there. he'd beg one of the masters to let him access the "forbidden knowledge" just because it's knowledge and he wants it. and if that didn't work he'd find a way to break in (the forbidden knowledge did not disappoint).

I also think maul would love to spar with lightsabers and stuff. he'd know techniques the jedi wouldn't, and so in friendly spars with people he'd managed to befriend, he'd actually give them a fight and teach them something, while also learning new techniques from the jedi

I think maul would consider becoming a jedi for a brief second. he's happier here than he's probably ever been, finally free from palpatine's influence and in a healthy environment. but he knows it's not his path.

after spending a long time living at the jedi temple, having carved out something of a life for himself, made friends for the first time in his life, having finally achieved emotional stability, he approaches the order on his own. they expect, after having been long used to his presence, for him to ask to be a jedi. but he comes with an unexpected proposal.

maul asks to leave the jedi temple to go home to dathomir, to see what had become of his family and of the nightbrothers. he's much much more stable than he was, but he still has burning questions that palpatine would never have let him find the answers to. and he genuinely does want to get there, eventually. but he also wants to learn more about the force that the jedi wouldn't teach him, to learn more about the sith.

his departure is surprisingly more emotional than he was expecting. the jedi temple was the first place he'd ever actually felt safe, that he'd been allowed to just exist. he would miss it.

armed with all the knowledge in the jedi temple, he searches for knowledge the jedi wouldn't have access to. he finds the remains of mortis, and researches the mortis gods. he spends a period of time wandering around like batman crushing the people he doesn't particularly like (usually people objectively morally horrible. he spent years with the jedi he has ✨morals✨ now). he even made his way to ilum, and found two crystals to forge a new double-bladed lightsaber. (the blades are yellow.)

maul would also study ancient sith texts, and spend a lot of time investigating old sith temples (like the one on malachor). however, he doesn't have the same burning desire to seize the power for himself anymore. it's an odd feeling.

eventually he does return home to dathomir to find the genocide of the nightsisters (with only one nightsister, merrin, remaining) and the nightbrothers in disarray after the loss of the dictatorial government they'd lived under for generations. maul ends up taking over a la mandalore (but with a lot less murder and awfulness. ✨morals✨)

what I'd love to see is maul founding an opposite sort of order to the jedi. not necessarily the sith, since the sith treated him horribly and destroyed his entire life, but i think maul would believe that for the force to truly be in balance, you couldn't try to eradicate an entire half of it from the galaxy. I would love to see maul found an order of dark side force users that teaches about how to use the dark side, how to avoid total corruption, and the correct channels for the power you control.

maul would be a very effective teacher in the dark side because of how much experience he has with it. he experienced the absolute worst of the dark side, the total corruption and loss of self, but he also used the dark side to save the nightbrothers from destroying themselves after the loss of the nightsisters and used his power to keep them together and safe (not to mention the period of time with Batman Maul where he used the dark side to help people).

also I would love to see the new generation of jedi and the new generation of dark side users not to be in opposition for once. by nature of maul being rehabilitated by the jedi, he would teach about them and their teachings with a modicum of respect, and the two orders would be seen as two sides of the same coin. twins, almost.

maul would not be a child snatcher, he was child snatched. the dark side is different from the light in that its always there. it comes much more naturally to force users, and unlike the jedi, it wouldn't require you to join from a ridiculously young age. his order is always known and always open to any force user who wishes to learn about the force.

maul's life comes to an end peacefully, at his home on dathomir, having built a new society for the nightbrothers and a new order for users of the dark side.

[katblu42]

The End?

This is something I wrote for a creative writing competition. The challenge was to write something (within a week) starting at the end and working back to the beginning. For some reason the prompt/challenge sparked this little piece, which is pretty much non-fiction. I guess it came at a time when the subject matter was on my mind. I wanted to post it now because a related anniversary is coming up.

There are warnings!!! Please heed the tags. Death, Sickness, Hospitals, Cancer. (If more warnings/tags are needed please let me know so I can make appropriate edits!)

Below the cut for length and warnings.

This was not how their story was supposed to end. There were still so many chapters they had hoped to write together, so many journeys toward possible futures that they had imagined spending side by side. She never anticipated being a childless widow before she had even turned forty-two. She’d never considered being faced with a hopeless situation, or the unenviable decision to allow them to stop treatment and let him slip away. Treatments that could prolong his life a little, but not fix him. Their plans had never included his hand desperately clinging to hers as she tearfully told him it was okay for him to let go and leave her behind.

He had wanted to fight. It broke her heart that there was nothing the combined efforts of all the medical staff could do to support his fight. It was a losing battle. His body was giving up on him, organs shutting down even though his mind was not ready to give up. The three weeks he lasted in the ICU had left him battle-scarred and exhausted, but he had still not wanted to give in, or let her down.

His Forty-second birthday was less than a week before the end. It was spent with family, visiting two by two according to ICU visitor limits. He was barely able to communicate by then, his lips scabbed and bloody, and a ventilator tube in his throat inserted by tracheostomy. The medical team had not wanted the tube to remain in his mouth any longer, but he was too weak to breathe on his own.

He had been off the ventilator for a while, during one of the hopeful moments. They’d been able to remove the breathing tube, and they had been able to reduce the blood pressure medication for a while. His temperature had stabilised and she’d focused on the improvements, encouraging him to think positive. Facing the alternative had been unthinkable.

She had put such hope in the drug she’d had to sign permission for them to administer – one that had to be shipped urgently from interstate, that had approval for use in the US, but not here. They had told her it was possible too much time had passed for the reversal drug to be fully effective. It had been more than five days since the chemo treatment which now needed reversing had ended.

Hope was all she’d had at that point. Seeing him finally settled in Intensive Care with all the monitors and their beeps and alarms, the ventilator with its click and hiss, the hum of the heat pump regulating his temperature, the blood transfusion and IV lines all keeping her unconscious husband alive, she had to cling to every scrap of hope she could. His immune system was so compromised she had to wear the gown and gloves and mask just to sit in the corner of the room and let the silent tears fall.

The ICU waiting room was deserted during the wee hours. She and her Mum stayed until dawn before buzzing the door intercom to enquire about seeing him. His Dad had left after the surgeon had spoken to them all some hours before, explaining that in his current state surgery was not a viable option for the infection in his gut. The previous wait in Emergency had been shorter, and the waiting room slightly more comfortable, but the constant worry and the lack of information had been excruciating.

Two ambulances had attended their tiny unit in answer to her call, such was the seriousness of his condition. Despite having four uniformed people fussing over her husband, she had not been given much information about what was happening. She’d been instructed to get all his medication together to bring with her to the hospital, then left to change out of her pyjamas while they loaded him into an ambulance. All this happened in a blur of action and confusion. Less than 20 minutes before they all headed to the hospital she had been performing chest compressions on him on the tiled floor of their cramped bathroom.

The Emergency Services operator on the other end of the phone had talked her through the CPR procedure. She’d learned it years before in first aid training, but having to actually perform the chest compressions on someone she loved was still horrifyingly daunting. He hadn’t stopped breathing, but the ES operator had assured her CPR was necessary because his gasping breaths had been so far apart.

She had never had to call an ambulance for anyone before, but it didn’t take a genius to see she needed help. His level of responsiveness had decreased so rapidly after she’d found him slumped forward sitting on the toilet, unable to sit up unaided. The yellow tinge to his skin had startled her. He had cried out to her in such a way that instinct had brought her rushing from the loungeroom without taking a moment to process anything more than the feeling that something was very wrong.

He had just wanted to sleep, so she tried to give him space to do that, sitting quietly in the loungeroom while he stayed in the darkened bedroom. He had refused to let her bring him something to eat, which had concerned her. She’d offered to call the hospital for advice, knowing he was uncomfortable and wanting to make sure he was okay, but he had refused to let her, insisting that there was no need to make a fuss. She’d arrived home from work around five, and suspected he had been in bed all day, “just feeling a bit yuck.” Later she would feel so much guilt for not trusting her instinct to get help for him then.

For the first couple of days after his chemo treatment ended he had seemed okay, feeling upbeat, acting normal. He had been in high spirits despite the prospect of months of treatment still ahead. There had been a little grumbling about feeling a little bit off, but that was to be expected, right?

His first (and only) round of chemo had been a five day affair. Three medications, two of which had been administered within a day at the clinic and the third he had carried around in a little pack while it slowly released over the five days. The plan had been laid out by the oncology team, with lots of consultations and discussions during the preceding weeks. He was to have two or three rounds of the chemo drugs, then radiation treatment would begin. Combination therapy to treat the cancers in his mouth and throat.

There had been months of discomfort, reducing his ability to eat properly, or enjoy food. He had lost a considerable amount of weight before she had been able to convince him to finally go and see a doctor and find out what was wrong. He’d always been the type to avoid going to a doctor unless he was literally at death’s door. She knew that part of what had held him back for so long was the fear that it could be something serious.

He didn’t want to ruin their holiday, but he promised he would see someone about the sore throat when they got back from the Gold Coast. It was only a week spent away, but they had visited all their favourite haunts. This was one of their regular holiday spots during their ten year marriage. They always felt like big kids, visiting the theme parks and the beaches, playing mini golf, messing about in the resort pool.

The two of them had been lucky to share many little trips away over the years. They’d had many more days of laughter and smiles than they’d had of tears and troubles. There had been precious gifts exchanged between them – but not many in a physical form she could lay her hands on. Each of them had broadened the other’s horizons, sparking interest in new experiences, sharing the activities and pass-times they loved.

Their wedding day had been filled with fun and friends and family. She had seen then how many people his bright and generous personality drew to him. So many people had wanted to share in their joy, and had told her she would never find a more loyal and loving mate. All the elegance and finery, the colour and music, the celebration of their union had been a wonderful way to begin their journey hand in hand to the future.

His proposal on the beach, early in the morning in a place he had been holidaying with his family every year since he was tiny, had taken her by surprise. He had asked her to come with him for a walk. They had travelled quite a long way up the beach, just watching the waves crash on the shore, listening to the shrieks of the gulls and making small talk. Then he had dropped to one knee and asked the question. She needed a moment to take in what was happening. His heart just about stopped, thinking she was hesitating. She had said yes, and put him out of his nervous agony.

Their first “proper” date was a walk to the local McDonalds for burgers and sundaes. Neither of them had much money, so neither had wanted to go anywhere fancy. She had been happy with the little things – like the way he always walked beside her on the footpath placing himself between her and the busy road. He was not rich, nor did he have impressive style or a brainiac’s intelligence, but he was open and funny and kind and she wanted to spend time with him.

She hadn’t ever been to the trivia night at the local bowling club, so she wasn’t sure what to expect, or how it all worked. The lady who hosted the quiz gave her an answer sheet and steered her towards a table, telling her the young man with the twinkle in his blue eyes, and the dimpled smile would look after her. That was the moment their story had begun.

[july-19th-club]

i couldnt stop thinking about “the offspring” and also ive been thinking it could be kind of fun to write from deanna’s POV so here’s both of that

We’re all a little surprised to see him walk back into the game a month after the memorial. He’d been so quiet during it, and has been very withdrawn with most people for the past several weeks. Not so in our sessions; he veritably lets loose and says things I can sense he’s barely articulated to himself without a willing audience. But in public he’s been far more reserved, and only nods politely and changes the subject as soon as possible whenever she comes up.

“Surprised to see you,” says Worf, never one to avoid stating the obvious. “Sit.”

He does.

“You okay? You ready for this?” Will gives him one of those friendly brother-slaps on the shoulder. Data shrugs.

“I know,” I say, as a faint, jittery mote of - apprehension? - hits me. His sensations always come across more...mechanically, with a slight delay in my experiencing of them, and I’m wrong about what exactly they mean more often than I’d like to admit. It took me years of knowing him to even begin to find their fine tendrils in the psychical space, since my ability is mostly an act of biology and there’s nothing biological about him. Even now I’m not sure how much of my impressions, when it comes to Data, are actually telepathy or whether or not it’s all just basic cold reading. But they’re there, little sparks of this-unsettles-this-being and this-being-is-engagedinterestedfulfilled-by-the-task-at-hand and preoccupation-obscures-this-being’s-other-processes. Right now my strongest impression is this-being-is-suppressing-impatience, which I have to mentally sort through a filter of good old-fashioned psychology to fix to a source motivation. Given the circumstances, it’s a good bet that he doesn’t want anyone to make a big deal out of his finally being back to the poker table, but it’s too late for that and he wishes we’d just get on with the evening.

I lock eyes with him across the table, and he brings her up of his own volition, surprising me. “Thank you. I imagine that you would, Deanna, being the only other member of this party who has both had, and lost, a child.”

That he’s been thinking about me in this sense is touching. We don’t talk about me during session, of course, but it must come to mind for him whenever he enters my office. I am proud of his willingness to address the elephant in the room outside of counseling, though, so I take the conversational olive branch. “You had Lal for a good deal longer than I had Ian,” I admit. “This end of the grieving process is bound to be exponentially more painful.”

“Again, Counselor, I cannot grie-”

I hate cutting him off, but this is something he’s supposed to be working on. Supposed to being the operative phrase. He has such a knee-jerk reaction to it, and it’s been like pulling teeth to try and change that. I feel unpleasantly teacherish and scold-y, but I speak up as I told myself I would the next time he automatically shut down someone else’s emotional observation. “Data. Just because your mind and body do not interpret and process emotion in a human way does not mean the experiences you have do not affect you or the way you think and experience things afterwards. We talked about this.”

He’s contrite, clasps his hands in his lap and looks away from me, at the table. “Yes, we did.” Then he meets my eyes again. “But not here. This is not therapy, this is poker night.”

“Mmmm, same difference,” says Will, as he starts passing the drinks around.

I raise my gin to toast Data. “Damn right,” I say, “and tonight I’m going to crush you and your big brain.”

There’s a hint of ease in his shoulders. Powering down from work mode to casual mode, as I’ve come to think of it. “Highly improbable,” he says. “My brain is in here -” he taps his forehead - “surrounded by dense protective alloy.” Chuckles around the table, and you could almost miss it but I catch a tiny self-satisfied nod. He told me a couple weeks ago he was working on a ‘observational humor subroutine, which has a better chance of merging with my automatic reasoning processes.’ I have to say, it’s an improvement over all those men walking into bars.

“There he goes again, bragging about his thick skull,” says Geordi, as the door opens and he takes his seat. “Sorry I’m late, guys. You forgot this.” He hands Data his green sunshade, which I’d hardly realized he wasn’t wearing. I see their hands brush, the way Geordi leans closer. He’s positively radiating fondnesswarmthcomfortreliefwelcomereturntohabit and it brightens my mood just to be in the same room as it. “Good to have you back, by the way. I’m gonna squash you like a bug.”

“We will see,” Data says evenly, donning the green shade. He takes the offered cards, shuffles, offers them to Geordi to slap for luck, and deals. And the game begins again.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

just once, just fucking once I would like to have a reasonably productive long weekend instead of spending most of it too stuck in decision paralysis to actually do much of anything until I reach a point where I feel like I could very well break down crying because I’m too overwhelmed with everything I need to do but I still don’t actually do most of it because the decision paralysis is a huge part of what makes me so fucking overwhelmed in the first place

like. right now probably the most urgent thing is a semi-complicated Etsy commission that the buyer would ideally receive by Dec. 10, which probably means sending it Dec. 7 at the absolute latest. so I should be working on that, right? but it’s going to take a while so it’s a time commitment, especially because it seems kind of pointless to get out a lot of messy supplies to only work on it for a few minutes. and I need to order parts for a different order--well, at least that’s quick. I also really need to reapply thermal paste to my CPU as soon as I can because I think the fan’s getting louder and that can’t be good for anything in there, and theoretically it won’t be that hard, but realistically I’m sure it’s going to take a while and I have to look up a little info on how to do it, first--and it involves my PC being out of commission while I’m working on it, so that’s not something I can do halfway. and while my PC’s open I really need to replace my dead hard drive, which wouldn’t be that hard except I want to install the new one alongside the old one so I can try to clone the dead one onto the new one, which will definitely take time on both the hardware and software sides of things, but it needs to happen sooner rather than later because, again, there’s a lot of stuff I can’t do until I get that done. and I need to send the recent invoices for Hazy’s dental appointment to pet insurance to see if they’ll pay anything, and that should be quick, but nothing ever stays simple. and, shit, I should really do some actual work this weekend because I didn’t get enough done before...and I still need to decide what to do about the vision therapy thing now that it’s clear the best they can do for me is a payment plan for like 36 expensive appointments, ugh. and ah shit I signed up for Yuletide and I’ve done almost nothing, and that’s due...Dec. 17? fuck, that reminds me, I gotta go get a new notebook from my room because I just finished this one, I mean that’s quick and easy but it also means I now have two notebooks that mostly aren’t typed up, which is bad because I can’t do anything with the contents until they’re typed up and of course they’re not backed up (unless I put them in my fireproof safe, and then I’d never get them typed), and typing those is going to take forever, and yeah I’ve been meaning to make it easier on myself by just doing like 15 minutes a day but I haven’t done that at all and they really need to get typed--and, well, I could just do a 15-minute stint, sure, but that seems silly when there’s so much that needs to be done--and, ugh, I’ve sorta been ignoring my email for the last three days and I need to go through that because otherwise I’m guaranteed to miss something I won’t want to miss, but that takes time and it’s going to mean opening up more tabs when there are already too many tabs open (there are always too many tabs open) and I need to deal with those too, and a good share of the emails are probably about Black Friday sales that I’ll probably want to do but that means more tabs and more decisions and shit there’s all that stuff in my Etsy cart that I should really buy sooner rather than later because sometimes Etsy stuff disappears or sells out and then I’ll be sad and frustrated with myself and also some of the things I want to buy are for gifts, which reminds me that I have almost no Christmas gifts yet for anybody, and my birthday is soon so I should probably make some kind of list myself but actually why am I focusing on that at all when the Georgia runoff elections that determine Senate control are in barely more than a month and I need to be writing letters/postcards to voters since I don’t want to phonebank and time zones actually make it really impractical anyway? I was going to do that in a reasonable way this time too, just a few letters a day like I meant to before, use up a lot of these stamps and stuff I still have--and ah fuck it’s been a while since I’ve called my own legislators about anything, I need to do that, that’s theoretically quick because voicemails cut me off at two minutes, although to be able to do that I also have to do at least a little research so I know what’s the most important thing to call about and what to say so that’s more tabs and more time, and I still haven’t fucking reposted the tiny little Endgame fix-it fic I wrote at the end of August, let alone finished anything since then

and I would, on some level, like to work on one of the many, many writing projects that is theoretically close to being done, or one of the recent ones I started because I foolishly and incorrectly thought it was something I could bang out quickly

and on some level I would also like to work on more stuff for Etsy that could be pre-made so it’s not another stress point when I get orders, especially because several things are holiday-specific and some wouldn’t even take that long, but I’d still be choosing to do those instead of more urgent things

and none of that even begins to touch other stuff, like my room that continues to be a disaster and I need to sort through my shit so I know whether I can relist my most popular Etsy item (if I even want to, which I don’t right now because stress), not to mention all the stuff I need to clear out by listing on eBay, and I could do at least one part of that (flatten the boxes I’ve saved for shipping) without committing to a week-long project but even that part would take a solid chunk of time that I should be spending on something more urgent

and we can’t even put up the fucking tree until I move some of my shit away from the spot where the tree goes, which is tough because a lot of it is from work or otherwise theoretically temporary stuff that doesn’t have an actual home, so that’s going to take a while, and then putting up the tree is also going to take a while, and my room is already a disaster so I’d need to clean in there to make room, which would take forever, and for that matter my areas of the living room are generally a disaster too, as always

and while I’m thinking about stuff I brought from work, let’s go back to how I need to do some work stuff because I’m lucky enough to have a decent job with good insurance that can be done from home and I’m still just like...kiiiiiiinda endangering that by not being a functional adult in general? which is at least partly because my brain is a dumpster fire that doesn’t seem to be improving (which is something else to worry about) but regardless of the cause I still have to do something about it? oh yes and speaking of the good insurance I’m kinda endangering by being a fuckup, haha sure hope this knot under my jaw doesn’t turn out to be...you know, the type of bad thing that a knot under the jaw could turn out to be! which is another very good reason I need to stop being a fuckup so I’m not maybe endangering the job that would pay for that, along with all my other medical issues! and also the entirety of our rent because my mom’s really high-risk and the only available jobs she’s qualified for aren’t safe for her to do!

and my knee hurts! and my elbow hurts! and my neck fucking hurts, my head and neck always hurt and I think I’ve been sleeping even worse than usual lately, partly because neck pain and partly just my body fucking hates me, it’s always a problem and I don’t know what to do about it anymore

and now it’s after 8:30 pm and obviously I’ve done none of this, and I’m still tired, and my head and neck still hurt, and there are still so many things I need to do but I can’t choose because the time-consuming things are the urgent ones but I don’t have the time or energy for them and choosing a specific thing (an urgent time-consuming thing, or a less urgent but much quicker thing) means actively choosing not to do one of the other things, and it’s all important, and I can’t fucking choose, and I’m pretty much at a point where I can continue running ever more painful and crazy-making circles in my brain trying to make myself decide something or I can say “fuck it” and do something that would be fun but not urgent or important at all, which I shouldn’t do, so for fuck’s sake I should just pick even one productive thing to do and then maybe let myself do something fun and then get to bed at a good time for fucking once but I still can’t fucking choose and I want to either cry, scream, or possibly hurt myself, and none of this is healthy or productive

and I think possibly my therapist is getting impatient with me for not making much progress and not really having specific goals for our sessions aside from “I hate that my brain is Like This and I want it to not be Like This and no I haven’t done most of the things you’ve suggested and no I don’t have a good reason why, I just want the meds to work so everything won’t be so fucking hard and yes I know that wouldn’t be something you could control even if it was in your wheelhouse, which it isn’t, but I get overwhelmed so fast and I know I need to do better and be better but I don’t know how”

and I wrote this instead of actually doing anything, apparently, because there was at least some chance that dumping it all out would make me feel better or help me see more clearly what I actually need to do, but I think I actually made myself feel worse by articulating just how overwhelmed I am, mostly by things that objectively aren’t actually that difficult or important.

and I still can’t fucking choose.

[ryosei-hime]

Sex and Therapy: The Assessment

Concord brings in a mechanic to assess Fizzaroli’s damage. Cog belongs to @tiny-security-mech​ who let me borrow her for this story. Available on AO3.

First thing in the morning, Concord put in a call to a mechanic he knew of through a patient. She had a good reputation and he liked to use other imp businesses when he could. When she heard what he had, she cleared her morning schedule to come see it. Not that Concord hadn’t tried to convince her not to go through such trouble. But she seemed excited. 

He’d barely finished his morning coffee and fending off attempts at early morning fun from Fizzarolli (he really didn’t feel concerned about the validity of his consent now) when she knocked at the door. 

He opened it to reveal the reputed mechanical genius. Her black hair looked disheveled and she already had grease spots on her cheek. Wasn’t he her first customer? A pair of goggles hung around her neck and she wore dingy coveralls and big boots. He started to put a hand out for her to shake but thought better of it with one glance at her dirty gloves. 

“Concord.”

“Cog,” she responded, moving right by him, toolbox in hand as she made for Fizzarolli. He bowed to her as she circled him. “Oh, man, where did you get this thing?” 

“The pawnshop down the street.”

“I pass that place all the time. I never noticed it before. You’d think they’d put something this nice out front. I know he’s probably not fully functional but he can’t be that bad off. And this is a higher quality model, too. Custom-ordered.” 

“Really? How can you tell?”

Fizzarolli aimed a wink at Concord as Cog turned to face him, holding one of Fizzarolli’s hands out and gesturing. 

“Look at him. This isn’t mass-produced stuff. It’s quality material.” 

Fizzarolli seemed to be enjoying all this praise and attention. He spun Cog, using the hand holding his, into a tight embrace. 

“Th-thanks, toots. You know, for a pr-pr-price, I bet he’d rent me out to you.” 

Cog turned red enough it stood out even against her skin and her eyes darted from Fizzarolli to Concord.

“Fizzarolli, no! I….will not rent you out.” 

“Aw, I’m ssssorry sweetheart-eart, looks like my master’s possessive.” 

He spun her away and used his good arm to grab Concord and pull him in to replace her.

“Please, don’t call me master. That’s not...how I...meant...”

While Concord was distracted by Fizzarolli’s lusty gaze, leaning in for a kiss, the jester’s good arm looped around and behind them to find the hem of Cog’s shirt, lifting it slowly. Until a hand smacked it away. He looked over his shoulder in surprise to find the formerly flustered imp laser focused on his innards. He tried coming at her from another angle but she slapped his hand again without looking away. 

“Looks like she likes work more than she likes you,” Concord teased.

Fizzarolli grinned, giving Concord his full attention now. He lifted him and drew him in closer, tongue flicking over his neck as he went in for a love bite. Concord leaned away as best he could.

“Uh uh.” 

“You’re no-no-no fun when other people are arooound.” 

“The more cooperative you are, the faster she leaves.” 

Fizzarolli’s grin returned in full force. 

“And then?” 

Concord wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled himself close to whisper. He was interrupted in his bribery when Cog spoke out.

“Sssh! I’m working and that’s...very distracting.” 

“Apologies.” 

Concord felt a little giddy at being so playful with Fizzarolli in front of someone. Fizzarolli set him down and sat still as half of Cog practically disappeared into his back. Well, mostly still. He kept himself entertained making lewd faces at Concord the whole time.

When Cog finally returned from her deep dive, Concord let out a laugh he’d been holding in and she looked confused. Until Fizzarolli turned and stuck a wriggling tongue out between two fingers at her. She went flush again and backed up. 

“Sorry. I’m really sorry. That’s...very inappropriate.” 

Concord cleared his throat as he tried to regain his professional demeanor but he just kept laughing. 

“He’s like six feet of inappropriate,” she responded, writing on a clipboard rapidly. “All right, here's the itemized list. I hope you didn’t spend too much on this thing because with all he has wrong, you might as well have bought a mass produced one.” 

Concord took the list and looked over it. It was nearly a page long and many of the repairs had very large numbers next to them. 

“I suggest you start with the voice box. That’s a wiring issue. It’s the cheapest thing on the list and I can do that today if you want.” 

“Yeah, let’s get that done, please. And when I have the money we should fix his arm next.” 

“Are you sure? The next cheapest repair is-” 

He shook his head as she started to point it out. 

“I’m not prioritizing by cost. I want it done in order of most improvement to quality of life. Can you figure that out for me?” 

“Sure, but there are a few of these you’ll have to ask him about. It depends on how essential he thinks certain components and features are whether or not you even want them restored. That tentacle mode is all messed up, for example. It’s the most expensive repair. Someone did a real number on it. Whole parts were just ripped out and that damaged the structure around it. You shouldn’t let him take too many hits to the chest, and I wouldn’t let him go through the washing machine. Otherwise he should be fine for now. I can either restore it which is this much or simply stabilize the frame which is much less.”

She indicated each price as she spoke. Concord couldn’t really pay attention to numbers right now. His vision had gone blurry at the thought of such violence against something that couldn’t defend itself. Something that depended on you. Even here in Hell there had to be a line. Or at least that’s what he tried to tell himself. 

“Cog, thank you for working with me on the prices. I know you have to make a living too.” 

“It’s no problem, Doc. Just don’t forget to send my cousin that pass on her anger management classes. And please do not actually try to talk to her.” 

Concord cleared his throat and tapped the papers she’d given him against the table.

“I had no intention of doing so.”

“Mm hm. But, honestly, I just don’t want anyone else working on him. I don’t get to work on something this high quality often. Thanks for the chance. Although I am gonna have to go outside my normal means to find some of these parts.” 

“If that costs extra, I’ll pay it. You don’t have to check with me. I trust you to get it done for the best price.” 

Cog gave him a shy smile before returning to Fizzarolli. She had been right about how simple the repair to his voice box was or she was so good she made it look simple. In only a few minutes she had the faulty wiring replaced and stood back.

“There you go. Try it out for me.” 

Fizzarolli put a hand to his chest and made a sound as if clearing his throat before letting out a low moan. 

“Ohh Concord. You’re sooo good. Harder!”

Both imps' eyes went wide as he started trying out different moans. Concord shoved Cog’s toolbox and a fistful of money at her. 

“Okay, thanks for coming. We’ll see you again soon. Bye.” 

Concord pushed her out the door to the sound of Fizzarolli’s untarnished laughter. As embarrassing as that was, that laughter made Concord smile from ear to ear. He’d taken the first step in improving Fizzarolli’s life. It felt good. It felt like he could make the world a little better for at least one person. It felt like...like hands on his horns. He tilted his head up to find Fizzarolli looming over him with a salacious grin. 

“I suppose you want your reward for sitting still.”

[rivkahstudies]

Hi, i've been having big troubles with wanting to be better at academia and stuff but im not really sure how to get started... i sorta feel like an imposter a lot but im trying to not let it affect me but sometimes i just have moments of excruciating executive dysfunction where i can't move because I want to do so many things and my body is fighting against me... Idk if i even have a question really but it feels better to tell you this... i really look up you a lot and have for a long time...

Hi nonnie! It’s incredibly brave of you to drop this in my inbox. Yes, even anonymously. It takes a lot to even type that kind of honesty out. So thank you, and I hope you take a moment to thank yourself.

Secondly, thank you for touching my heart by your kind words. I hope you realize as you look up to me that I have the same kind of feelings, as do many studyblrs–and I’m dedicated to being honest about it so you don’t feel as if you have to live up to a perfect (and impossible, and fake) standard. I go to therapy regularly despite being in a lot better place than I used to be, because it’s almost like going for a mental check-up or gym session, and my therapist helps me sort through even tiny things so I can build better habits and mindsets. But I still remember feelings of dysfunction well, and I still battle with imposter syndrome!

The most important key ideas here are attainable goals and self talk. Both of these ideas don’t come easily, they do take work, but they’re tools that make other difficult things easier over time, with persistence.

When your body is fighting you (and really, more than anything with executive dysfunction, your mind is fighting you and making your body less functional), even baby steps can be difficult. For you, it could be anything from exercising to studying to eating to showering. Big or small, it’s totally valid that you may or may not struggle with it, and it doesn’t make you desperate for attention, or fake, or pathetic.

Let’s take your desire to “get better at academia.” That could mean a lot of things, so I’m going to latch onto one facet of it as an example. If it doesn’t apply with that exact example, that’s completely okay! Just alter it to apply to what you are struggling with, or desiring.

1. Big, abstract goal: to get better at academia

2. What that means (for this example): developing better study habits

3. What kind of things constitute that? That’s still a big, abstract goal that sounds quite formidable and unattainable. List out as many things as you can that you are striving to do or would want to try. Not everything might work for you!

Managing time better

scheduling study time

being accountable via apps or with family/friends

being efficient or effective (i.e. not getting distracted 

Finding study habits that work for you and for the class’ requirements

flashcards

typed computer notes

handwritten computer notes

handwritten paper notes

infographics

youtube videos

interactive online exercises

conversations with classmates, tutors, or professors

podcasts

mind maps

journal entries

presentations

self-made study guides

practice tests (self-made or provided, online or on paper)

Feynman’s technique–writing a summary of what you’re studying, and then comparing it to the actual material. Whatever is missing is what you need to focus on, because my mantra is that it will always appear on the test.

ranking the subjects or topics by what you know most to least and studying from the bottom up. I can post a more detailed guide to this if you want! just hit me up again.

Also changing the way you treat and care for yourself

setting a stable routine

eating better (this means different things for different people–maybe you need more Vitamin C, so you should focus on more fruits in your diet, or iron, so vegetables, etc… consult with a doctor or registered dietician, not a nutritionist since they don’t have to have a degree or certification)

going to bed at a routine time

if you have to choose one, make the wake up time set. that way, if you do go to bed late but wake up at that time, it’ll reset your body clock to be sleepier earlier the next day. it’ll eventually even itself out. 

drinking more water

setting up or revising your skin care routine

taking measured and unmeasured breaks away from studying to allow the information to set in your brain and to give your mind and body a much-needed reprieve

setting limits on how much screentime you want yourself to add

Self-talk

This is the big one I want to impart on you before this post is over.

You can’t just try to implement these better habits. You also have to focus on what you’re thinking when you’re doing or not doing them, and how you’re psychologically treating yourself. This isn’t easy! It takes a lot of time. And that’s okay. You aren’t going to be free of this stuff overnight. I’ve been working on this stuff actively since I was about 17 and I’m still struggling with it. But I’m also much better at addressing it than I was almost three years ago.

Be aware

Recognize when you’re treating yourself harshly. Acknowledge those times you say “I’m not good enough” in the very back of your mind. Because a lot of times we aren’t even fully conscious of how much we say “I hate myself” or “I’m stupid” or “I can’t do this.”

Once you’ve done that, start calling attention to it.

Hold yourself accountable. If this were someone hurting a friend of yours, you would likely be calling them out for the whole world to know their cruel behavior isn’t acceptable. It’s the same thing for yourself! Those awful thoughts in your brain might live there from self-doubt, mental illness, or other reasons, but you do get to decide if they pilot your actions and your mentality, even if they’re whispering awful things about how you don’t have a choice but letting them be in control. 

I will freely admit on here that I’m attending therapy, because I seek to destigmatize it. I’m not at rock bottom. I’m not pathetic. I just noticed some things about me that I need to change, heal, and/or improve, and I wanted a professional to help me! Much like if I sprained my ankle or got a cold and needed to see a doctor. And one of the things that my therapist told me was as much as my anxiety felt debilitating, I am the one piloting my body and I am the one who gets to decide whether my self-talk is going to change.

And do it gently.

Not “you’re an awful person for saying these things about yourself.” You don’t solve bullying with bullying, and you definitely don’t solve putting yourself down or feeling like an imposter but doing more of the same. Instead, show compassion to yourself. 

Have a conversation with yourself.

“Why do I feel like this?” 

“Where is this coming from?”

“What makes me say that?” 

“What can I say instead?”

“What would make me feel better?”

“What could change my mindset about this problem?”

The choice is up to you how you do it. But pretend you’re pulling someone who is misbehaving or acting cruel aside, and instead of reprimanding them, you just gently put your hand on their shoulder and say, “I’m here. What’s going on? What’s causing this behavior?”

Do the same exact thing with yourself! Offer that compassionate hand. If you’re anything like me, your imposter system is probably coming from undue pressure on yourself, self-doubt, previous bad experiences, fear of failure or rejection, insecurity, anxiety, or any number of other things that could make you doubt your beauty, your talent, your work ethic, your ability to succeed.

And a lot more people have it than you think! Just don’t compare yourself to others when, even if you know them well, you can’t know them 100%. I’m sharing my experiences because I want you to know that you’re not alone. And I also want you to know that you can only fix yourself, you can only control yourself, and the same goes for others–they have no business (and probably aren’t thinking of having any business) judging you or controlling you. If they are, screw them. Your job is to take care of and focus on yourself.

Once you know where it’s coming from, start substituting the language.

You can’t do this. “You may not be able to do this yet, but with some effort, you’ll be able to–or, you’ll be close to being able to.”

You’re a failure. “Everyone makes mistakes or fails. It doesn’t define you.”

It was just luck that got you this far. “It was hard work, passion, and effort. Keep hanging onto those things.”

You’re not good enough. “You are enough, and you don’t exist for others. You exist for yourself.”

People will get bored of you. “You don’t exist to entertain or please others.”

There’s a million more I could go through, but hopefully these examples are enough for you to apply it to your own doubts.

This might be a good exercise to journal. Because then you actually have to get the thoughts out instead of them staying scrambled in your brain. Feel free to do a bulleted guide for yourself like this one!

Etc, etc, etc… Any one of these single bullets could be an entirely distinct post, but I hope this is enough to start you off, nonnie. I want to apologize for taking my sweet time responding, but I really hope you’re still out there, somewhere on tumblr, and you see this post. You are loved, nonnie, especially by me, and I’m always here if you need something. If you message me again, call yourself something, like “self talk nonnie,” so I know I’m still talking to you.

You are all loved! You are all enough! You are all valuable and beautiful as long as you stay true to yourselves.

[goldscreen06]

5 Things I Learned At The 5th Annual Peptides Congress

Prof Simon Newstead's Seminar "peptides And Also Protons.

Content

Comprehensive Info Concerning Cardarine For Sale.

Pdp3 Peptide, Cell Absorptive

Skin Type.

Day Transformation Stacks.

Blood Sugar Level Degree Ranges.

As you age, healthy protein manufacturing in the skin weakens due to both age and also outside ecological elements. This is what causes the skin becoming thinner and tackling a crepey, much more wrinkled look. The standard function of peptides are to help strengthen the normally occurring healthy proteins currently in the skin. So by applying peptides topically to the skin, it promotes collagen manufacturing to aid make skin appearance more youthful.

Apart from the above mentioned types of medicines, there are several others types of medicines available in the market, which can be used to treat different kinds of arthritis. However, these are not considered as a permanent solution to this problem and may only be used as an adjunct to the above mentioned arthritis treatments. It is important to be very careful while using steroids because they have the tendency to damage the muscle tissues. Also, when they are used in massive doses; there is a possibility of losing your ability to use the joints.

Comprehensive Info About Cardarine Available.

Peptides are brief strings of amino acids aka the foundation of protein. It's these proteins, alongside collagen as well as elastin, that maintain our skin company, plump as well as flexible. Peptides occur normally in the body, can be stemmed from natural ingredients such as milk, or can be engineered in research laboratories to mimic the job of natural peptides.

Hence it is essential to consult a physician at the earliest so that proper advice regarding the use of these medicines is obtained. This will help in avoiding various complications in the future. While purchasing such supplements, it is vital to make sure that you get them from a reputed manufacturer, who has gained FDA approval.

Pdp3 Peptide, Cell Permeable

As of today, there are various ways to abuse steroids. It all starts with taking them for no apparent reason. It is common that people take them in order to improve their physical performance. It is even possible to gain some sort of muscle mass while taking steroids as it does not have any side effects. But once the usage is over, the situation again turns upside down as it causes various problems such as loss of energy, loss of mental alertness, short height, brittle bones, low immunity, lack of sex drive, mood swings, and many more. These steroids types have adverse effects on a person's body but still continue to be widely used because it can provide some kind of advantage in sports.

Keep in mind that though rotation is not allowed about the peptide bonds, there is possibility for rotation around the Cα-- N and also Cα-- C bonds.

Keeping in mind the planar nature of the peptide group, a polypeptide chain can be attended have a backbone that consists of a series of inflexible planar peptide teams linked by the Cα atoms.

The torsion angles about the Cα-- N as well as Cα-- C bonds are described as ɸ and also ψ.

Number 4 programs part of a polypeptide with 2 planar peptide teams in the trans conformation.

The angles of rotation, called torsion angles, regarding these bonds define the conformation of a polypeptide backbone.

, specifically and they are defined as 180 ° when the polypeptide is in the prolonged planar conformation, as shown in Figure 4.

By convention, φ as well as φ increase with clockwise turning of the peptide team when checked out from Cα, as suggested by the arrows.

Steroids are generally prescribed for various ailments and can be used either as an injection or spray. In the former form, they are injected under the skin where they remain for up to eight weeks. In the latter form, they are directly sprayed on the target areas. But the problem with the former type is that it leads to a build up of toxins in the body, which are responsible for various illnesses. However, when https://pharmalabglobal.com/product-category/hgh-fragment-176-191/ are flushed out, there is a sudden relief from ailments, as there is less pressure to maintain a healthy body.

Skin Kind.

However if you're looking to increase your routine with some hardworking, high-potency products, peptides are a good area to start. They are composed of a large range of tiny fragments of amino acids. Amino acids are the building blocks of proteins, and also proteins are an essential foundation of skin. On Purchase CJC-1295 NO DAC , peptides become part of the body's complex communication system that tells various elements of skin to do a much better job. As a result of their function in assisting to reinforce important healthy proteins in the skin, peptides are powerful anti-ageing ingredients to include in your program. Since there are many different peptides, having them combined in one product can enable you to target numerous various indications of aging at the same time as well as reinforcing skin's own protective features.

For athletes, there are certain steroids that are used to improve their endurance levels. But these medicines are also known to cause some kind of side effects such as low potassium levels, vomiting, diarrhea, heart problems, liver failure and various others. It has also been found that this kind of medicine is mostly used by young athletes and is rarely prescribed by doctors.

Day Change Heaps.

Peptides are short chains of amino acids, linked together by peptide bonds. There are 20 specific naturally-occurring amino acids which can be connected together in any order to give countless various peptide mixes, with each helping with different skin issues. Our skin is naturally overflowing with different sort of proteins as well as peptides, consisting of some of the most crucial; collagen and also elastin, which are both in charge of maintaining the skin's all-natural stamina and strength. Peptides are brief chains of amino acids that work as building blocks of proteins such as collagen, elastin and keratin.

How do you identify peptide bonds?

First, two amino acids are brought together. The acid group of the first is close to the amine group of the second. Next, a water molecule is eliminated, leaving a bond between the acid carbon of the first amino acid and the amine nitrogen of the second. The peptide bond is left between the two amino acids.

As a result, they are an outstanding anti-ageing component to aid renew and preserve skin health and wellness. In your career you might be subjected to peptides, healthy proteins and antibodies in numerous roles.

Blood Sugar Degree Ranges.

So before taking these medicines, it is important to consult a doctor who will explain the pros and cons of the medicines. In fact, before you start using them, it is advisable to undergo a thorough check up to make sure that you are not suffering from any other medical ailments. A Liver Toxicity test is done to ascertain the level of toxicity in the body. If the test is positive, then further treatment is advised. There are various side effects associated with the usage of steroids; hence it is essential to understand them properly.

ACE-2-interacting Domain of SARS-CoV-2 (AIDS) Peptide Suppresses Inflammation to Reduce Fever and Protect Lungs and Heart in Mice: Implications for COVID-19 Therapy - DocWire News

ACE-2-interacting Domain of SARS-CoV-2 (AIDS) Peptide Suppresses Inflammation to Reduce Fever and Protect Lungs and Heart in Mice: Implications for COVID-19 Therapy.

Posted: Mon, 11 Jan 2021 06:00:00 GMT [source]

Various types of peptides have different results, from smoothing creases or fixing barrier feature to enhancing firmness and hydration. A number of peptides can be incorporated in one product, and the majority of are discovered in anti-ageing items for skin that has actually begun to demonstrate a reduction in the manufacturing of those important healthy proteins. On skin care product labels look for words that finish in "peptide"-- numerous likewise start with "palmitoyl".

These healthy proteins are the foundations of your skin as well as are accountable for its texture, stamina and resilience. Without peptides, our skin is less undamaged which can lead to a loss of firmness, the look of wrinkles, a modification in texture and much less 'jump'. Peptides are brief chains of amino acids, and are the building blocks of healthy proteins. One of the most commonly well-known healthy proteins in the skin are collagen, elastin as well as keratin, which are accountable for its texture and also tone. There are thousands of various peptides, every one of which are made from various mixes of amino acids. When it pertains to skincare, there are a lot of ingredients that guarantee big cases. From vitamin C to retinol, niacinamide to tranexamic acid-- it can be difficult to browse which ingredients your skincare regular truly needs.

What is the best peptide serum?

Read on to know more! 1. Face Serum with Collagen Peptide by Olay Regenerist. 2. 180 Cosmetics Hyaluronic Acid Serum with Peptides & Vitamin C. 3. Eva Naturals Peptide Complex Serum. 4. Foxbrim Naturals Boost Peptide Face Serum. 5. Asterwood Naturals Matrixyl 3000 with Argireline Peptide and Vitamin C Anti-Aging Serum. More items•

Some other kinds of medicines are commonly used by patients in the US. They are used to reduce and eliminate sweating. But the side effects of these medicines include high blood pressure, palpitations, nausea, constipation, anxiety, headache, swelling of legs, thinning hair, rapid weight loss, mania, insomnia, and chest pain. Also these medicines cause sexual dysfunction in both men and women.

Nevertheless if peptides are not stored properly, they can be susceptible to degradation from light as well as air-- for instance if they are saved in containers where the item is straight subjected each time it is opened. There are numerous various sorts of peptide that it's challenging to popularize, yet some may cause irritability for certain skin types - so do your study prior to investing, as products including them can be costly. In skincare peptides are used to assist strengthen those proteins naturally taking place in the skin, for that reason rejuvenating and maintaining it.

[flytrout91]

Nolvadex Sarms Australia.

4 Method Sarm Pile, Deca Durabolin O Trembolona

Content

Exactly How Do Sarms Function?

Cardio Raises Your Healing Time.

Exactly How To Build Muscle Mass Like Experts.

Bikes Can Be Utilized To Generate Even More Intricate Molecules.

Collagen is too huge for the skin to absorb, whereas, in contrast, peptides are the best dimension for topical application. Once they've been taken in, the body can after that harness their protein-producing capacities. In 2019 Vapourtec developed a partnership in the direction of peptide synthesis with Teacher Peter Seeberger and also his Team at Max Plank Institute, Berlin. This work has actually been published in the paper revealed right away below. The side-chain of proline is covalently bonded to the N of the amino team, so in polyproline, there will be less flexibility of turning regarding the Cα-- N bond than with other amino acids.

Are SARMs bad for liver?

Life threatening reactions, including liver toxicity, have occurred in people taking products containing SARMs. SARMs also have the potential to increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, and the long-term effects on the body are unknown.

Whether you're battling with creases, loss of firmness, discolouration, dehydration, dullness, and so forth, there specify peptides that can make a difference for each one. Nonetheless, it actually takes a range of peptides to assist deal with multiple skin troubles, there isn't one that does everything. A fantastic method when you've been shedding the candle at both ends, is to utilize Patchology FlashPatch Restoring Evening Eye Gels. These over night hydrogel mini sheet masks are extremely comfy and also deliver an effective hit of collagen enhancing peptides along with hyaluronic acid as well as dark circle dealing with arnica for visible improvements come early morning. In the quest for excellent skin, peptides are a force to be considered.

How Do Sarms Work?

Peptides alone are primarily also little to elicit an immune response sufficient to generate antibodies. Therefore, the peptide of rate of interest is conjugated to service provider proteins including numerous epitopes to stimulate T-helper cells, which cause the B-cell feedback that creates the antibodies.

These chemical frameworks separate peptides from tags and also dyes and also can be hydrophobic or hydrophilic to modify the all-natural hydropathy of the peptide to which it is conjugated. Spacers of various sizes are typically readily available for variable ranges between peptides as well as the color or tags. A typical hydrophobic spacer is aminohexanoic acid, and an usual hydrophilic spacer is poly glycol. Requirement peptide synthesis is performed making use of L-amino acids, but an usual alternative is to manufacture the peptide making use of D-isomers, which are the enantiomers, or mirror photos, of chiral L-amino acids. While the chemical formula equals, D-amino acids may customize the feature of the peptide. Methylation of histone proteins is a typical approach of epigenetic law, as well as mono-, di- and trimethylated lysine residues can be included in peptides to simulate this post-translational alteration. The thiol group on cysteine can likewise be methylated via an acetamidomethyl group to precisely create disulfide bridges.

Cardio Raises Your Recuperation Time.

Health and wellness Bars with included CollagenThe benefits of collagen peptides for wellness as well as elegance has been confirmed and also identified for several years. Scientific studies have shown that 10 grams a day or perhaps much less have a positive effect on joint, bone as well as skin wellness. PoGoGUI uses transcript translations and recommendation genetics comments in addition to peptide identification files in 4 column tab apart layout, mzid, mzIdentML, and also mzTab formats to pass on to the defined PoGo executable. Extra criteria to choose outputformats, enable mapping with amino acid replacements or merging result of several peptide recognition data can be chosen with checkboxes as well as buttons. Extra details regarding parameters, PoGo input and output layouts can be found on top of the 'Learn and also Support' section.

We are also providing expedited distribution times for Covid-19 related tasks. Whilst the generation and shipment of peptide rehabs stand for substantial obstacles, the basic storage of peptides can be troublesome. Hao Luo from Merck explained the trouble of peptide fibrillation and also methods for alleviating the threats of fibrillation. It ends up that a super-fast high temperature as well as high pH treatment using flow chemistry can substantially postpone the onset of fibrillation without any significant degradation of the peptide. Teacher David Craik provided a remarkable presentation on cyclotides - cyclic peptides created by a variety of plants. These peptides, making up three disulphide bonds that form a "knot", are both varied as well as durable. Prof. Craik supplied an introduction of these peptides and also their utility as a backbone for the distribution of healing peptide epitopes.

The peptides can enduring the digestion system, making dental shipment of peptide medicines a genuine opportunity, although currently the bioavailability of such orally-administered peptides is reduced. Food is the major stimulus of glucagon-like peptide 1 launch, with raised hormonal agent levels noticeable after 10 mins of starting to eat and also remaining increased in the blood circulation for a number of hrs afterwards. The hormone somatostatin holds back the manufacturing of glucagon-like peptide 1. Glucagon-like peptide 1 belongs to a family of hormones called the incretins, so-called because they boost the secretion of insulin. Glucagon-like peptide 1 is a product of a molecule called pre-proglucagon, a polypeptide which is split to generate several hormones, including glucagon. Due to the fact that they originate from the exact same resource, these hormones share some resemblances, so are called 'glucagon-like'.

Tiny fragments of protein with the capacity to tell our skin to fix as well as rejuvenate itself, we reveal why you require to integrate them into your anti-ageing routine. While the advantages of copper peptide are shown, in studies it is hardly ever compared with various other peptides or other components such as effective antioxidants. With so many components proven to profit skin, it is very important not to concentrate on a solitary active ingredient. Remarkably, there is additionally study which shows that copper is potentially harmful. Nevertheless, direct-peptides for Buy best quality peptides Direct Slovakia focuses mostly on the application of pure copper to the skin, and also not as a peptide. We are continuing to use complete assistance to our customers as well as prepare to assist with any type of Covid-19 research. We have actually currently dealt with a variety of consumers on this and also are creating a full range of Sars-Cov-2 overlapping peptides in addition to certain ACE2 analogues.

For over 20 years, many scientists have been looking into the favorable effects of collagen. In 2011, the McAlindon research group was able to show that the consummation of collagen hydrolysate with short-chain collagen peptides can not only inhibit the degeneration of articular cartilage, but likewise promote its regrowth. direct-peptides.com Buy best quality peptides Direct Europe website of professional research studies have actually verified the performance of collagen hydrolysate with short-chain oligopeptides on skin regrowth, skin hydration as well as skin flexibility. The deepness of wrinkles can be considerably and sustainably reduced. The skin complexion of the participants enhanced noticeably and lastingly. Taken routinely, it can support the health and wellness of joints and also bones as well as also accomplish a quicker regeneration of the tissue. To name a few things, it advertises a normally glowing and moisturized skin.

Just How To Build Muscle Like Professionals.

This web page highlights the crucial aspects of peptide synthesis, one of the most common approaches of synthesis and also filtration and also the strengths and restrictions of the corresponding methods. On behalf of the Harley Medical Team, professional dermatologist Dr. Justine Hextall told me that peptides can have a lot of different applications. A mix of peptides which "trick" the skin into generating even more collagen, helping to company, plump and also reduce the look of fine lines and also wrinkles. A collagen stimulating copper peptide enveloped in a polymer system which dives through the layers of the skin to particularly target collagen-producing cells. Peptides might be in the limelight for their incredible collagen-boosting powers, but actually, peptides are way more than simply a one-trick pony.

As Ostarine has anabolic results, the dieter can reduce calories without having to worry about muscle or strength loss.

Have you come across SARMS also known as Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators?

With SARMS, skeletal muscle mass and also stamina in androgen-deficient people can be improved.

They're being called Steroids 2.0, a choice with powerful anabolic results, no steroids, or need for a post cycle therapy.

Nonetheless, these supplements don't have the muscle mass growth results of genuine steroids as well as cause major adverse effects that make them harmful for human usage.

To date Ostarine has been evaluated in 8 scientific trials involving approximately 600 subjects consisting of three effectiveness studies.

As a result, permitted ɸ worths will certainly be fairly limited compared to other amino acids. The peptide bonds that connect amino acid residues in a polypeptide are developed in a condensation response between the acidic carboxyl team of one amino acid and also the fundamental amino group of another amino acid. In the context of a peptide, the amide group (Carbon Monoxide-- NH) is referred to as the peptide group. Actually prompt distribution and really responsive to queries relating to the items. Very delighted i was recommended to utilize MM Ingredients compared to every various other hydrolised collagen internet site turning out to be utter scam.

Bicycles Can Be Made Use Of To Produce Even More Intricate Particles.

Cell Signaling Innovation offers off-the-shelf and custom-synthesized blocking peptides that can be used to assess the specificity of antibody sensitivity in your assay. We likewise focus on synthesis of premium customized AQUA peptides, including difficult sequences and uncommon post-translational adjustments. When deposit X was an uncharged polar residue, the polar zipper device led to a lot more stiff second structures, which subsequently constructed right into nanori bbons.

The factor for the extensive use Peptides in skin care items is that, contrasted to collagen molecules, Peptides are in fact small enough to penetrate the skin. direct peptides Norway peptides best buy website are a mild yet efficient selection for all skin kinds as well as ages. Skin care items which contain this component are an excellent choice for delicate skin, as Peptides can be less irritating than some anti-ageing ingredients even on fragile areas, like the skin around the eyes. While peptides are an all-natural element of skin, in their all-natural type they are very delicate, unstable components. To stabilise as well as develop peptides that can in fact be soaked up right into skin, remain undamaged, and consequently be able to favorably impact skin, they are lab-engineered. When science determined just how to do this, the opportunities and also number of peptides available exploded. Peptides are an absolutely remarkable team of components that ongoing study has actually proven can profit several age relevant skin worries.

What Are The Benefits Of Working With Concrete Delivery Companies?

Chemically manufactured peptides carry favorably and also negatively billed amino and also carboxy termini, respectively. Because these termini are not butted in vivo, they can be modified by N-terminal acetylation and also C-terminal amidation, which get rid of the particular charges to mimic all-natural peptides and increase cell permeability. N-terminal asparagineshould be stayed clear of, since the asparagine N-terminal safeguarding team can be hard to remove during bosom. Therefore, either remove or substitute the N-terminal amino acid. N-terminal glutamineis unpredictable, because it forms cyclic pyroglutamate under acidic conditions during safeguarding team cleavage. This can be prevented by acetylating the N-terminal glutamine or by replacing glutamine with pre-formed pyroglutamic acid or a traditional amino acid.

Peptides shorter than 5 deposits are usually soluble in aqueous services, except if the entire sequence includes hydrophobic amino acids. and McGregor A. C. T-butyloxycarbonylamino acids and their use in peptide synthesis. Artificial peptide combining requires the activation of the C-terminal carboxylic acid on the inbound amino acid utilizing carbodiimides such as dicyclohexylcarbodiimide or diisopropylcarbodiimide. These protecting plans likewise incorporate each of the steps of synthesis and also bosom, as described in the table as well as in later areas of this page.

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[hellbabyfromhell]

i was writing a small thing and then it became big... just my thoughts about my life as of today.

the asks people sent when i told my whole stupid story about my dumb ass life were really very kind and sweet.... i read through them sometimes.... im not trying to Fish for anything when i say this but like... idk the situation i was in made it really hard for me to leave without feeling bad, and they’d thought up every way to in some way make me guilty even though objectively there wa literally nothing..... idk just, me personally i take every bad emotion a person i care about is feeling or might possibly be feeling or may feel at a future time and i soak it in like a sponge.... so they knew if they made me feel bad enough it’d make me stay.....i guess i kind of already made a post about this but some people sent asks about having gotten through situations like this, and people generally like.... expressed pride in me... lame but ever since i disconnected from everyone i ever knew before my dad died excluding maiya and online friends..... i guess what im saying is ever since my dad died and i lost that familial feeling of living in dc because i had to move, and i was far from anything i knew... i felt so, so so weak and frail, and living in my old situation was crushing me up into a tiny ball.... i feel stupid saying it but it feels good when people are proud of me ; _ ; and im proud of me too.... i really felt so small, and i was like genuinely despondent and ready to die, but i realized like.... with all the crazy ass shit that had happened to me, it would have been so easy to just Die..... and for 2 years i was barely present, but i like....survived.... and really, that was a bad time. i used to scoff when people would say i was strong for that, because i’d think: “what’s so strong about not dying...” because it felt like a suspended plan frankly (grimace emoji im typing) but i also decided that i would try as HARD as possible to NEVER act like teen me again.  because right up until my dad died, i was a brat who was unwilling to take in feedback.... i wasn’t Bad or anything (questionable) but i’d go to therapy and goof off because i was very flippant about it in a passive aggressive way.... like, CLEARLY this STUPID BULLSHIT wont help me so ill be REALLY sarcastic about it! im cool! i kind of realized it after my dad died but LITERALLY i never did ANYTHING to help myself! like, i’d get really sad, but i’d make no real effort to change that, and i thought it was ANGST and MALAISE and ENNUI, and it was that, but it was also my unwillingness to step into uncharted territory: developing myself as a person consciously lol. at therapy i never took anything in and was too busy trying to make light of my situation that nothing ever got done, and i realized i never took any advice anyway.... like, when people say “try meditation”..... like Duh thats a stupid reply but also like.... Have you? i hadnt until recently.... and guess what! it didnt work at all! but i am like willing to try literally anything (within reason) and i want to ACCEPT everything just like.... 

i was SO ADAMANT about rejecting like...... idk Norms?????? as a teen , i really dont know what my aim was but it wasn’t working and i was making people annoyed because i’d whine and whine over my problems but never do anything to fix it, and i’d go and say “NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME!!!” with like 5 people messaging me. idk just, life was handing me little tools with which to improve and better myself and i refused. i was a fool at therapy and i was annoying and SOOOOO depressed but weirdly comfortable with it simply out of unwillingness to change  my habits.....you know? and after my dad died, like... everything i previously felt was just......i just realized how incredibly petty it all was? NOT t say im not petty now, but i was like GOD DAMN i was suicidal.... over that? like i was really crying and freaking out over THIS? my two years of like PTSD cocoon  smoothed it out to the point that it almost just feels like i was thinking for a really, really long time, and only came to when i felt the answer coming on. i’m not saying i don’t still grapple with self pity and stuff but i kind of blinked and absorbed the WORLD for the first time...... i really wasn’t living life yet. i was 19 which is Older than 18 and i lived with my dad and his gf and i was fresh out of high school doing a little community college.... like i was walking around dc and having a grand old time going to the cliff and the woods and then id go home and talk about how badly i wanted to die..... i just like.... i decided that i CANNOT waste any more of my time acting like that because i wasted my most precious time, time with my dad, acting like a crybaby. i’m just disgusted thinking about how many opportunities i had to be happy and have a good time that i DECIDED not to take. and i can’t even really explain why still, but i just know i can never ever be like that ever again oh god the bird is tweeting its mornign sorry im back... just SORRY that was my roundabout way of saying like... i guess i have changed and like a LOT, and i DO feel strong... so thank you for caring about y progress!! AHH!!

[small-reptile-cake]

Vigilante AU (updated/fixed)

Concept:

We live in a world of injustice, where powerful people get to overshadow and overrule others basic human rights, and those with true power conceal themselves under the shadows at the risk of being killed or outcasted from society. However, in a city where hate and panic flood the streets, a select team of special people are willing to put themselves out there and defend those who can no longer fight for themselves. Virgil Sinclaire(18)

Powers:

Telepathy

Can read and invade the minds of other people with unsettling, fear inducing thoughts.

His range of hearing is of up to three blocks.

His powers caused him to be mildly agoraphobic; he spent a great part of his life hearing the sick thoughts of strangers on the street and the thousands of times he could simply tell when he was about to get mugged, making him afraid of leaving the safety of his apartment.

Now he wears headphones most of the time to muffle the voices.

Always lived in the same tall building, the higher he is the less he has to hear.

Born and raised in New York.

Studies/Interests:

Highschool dropout. In between his phobia and the terrible influence from his peers, he decided the education system wasn't for him.

Wanted to be an english major.

Enjoys writing scary/realistic novels.

Affiliations

Lives with his aunt and cousin.

Was lured into a group of thieves disguised as anarchists/protesters who claimed to fight for “True justice”, and that they would protect him. Truly, they were just hiding their true intentions and using Virgil’s powers to cause harm out of pure self gratification.

When their motives were unveiled, he still rejected becoming a part of the Alliance

Now, he belongs to his own neutral alignment in which he will not condone giving aid to those who he feels don't deserve it and will absolutely turn to revenge if necessary, even through unconventional means.  

Is still willing to help the Alliance, or the “Light Ones” as he calls them.

Patton Kane (22)

Powers:

Healing

His healing can range from treating people (whether it be physically or emotionally) to fixing broken objects (Only if they’re visibly torn, like a broken key or a broken cup).

The risk of healing people’s emotions is that it’s only temporary, and Patton will absorb both positive and negative emotions from the individual.

He can’t fix something that’s been set on fire (A book or clothes) because it’s simply beyond his reach to reconstruct something that's been turned to dust.

Studies/Interests:

A gastronomy student.

Often attends to baking courses/seminars during the week.

Teaches kids with disabilities how to bake on the weekends.

Part of his tuition was paid by working as a babysitter and a store clerk. The rest was obtained from his parents

Was an animal hoarder back in college even though he didn’t have the space or time at the moment. There were stray cats, dogs, even a rat that lived in the same building and got caught in a trap one day. He healed it and brought it home because he didn’t want the owner to find it and kill it.

His family had to talk him out of it and he even went to therapy to deal with the guilt of having to give his babies up for adoption.

Now he only adopts people as his children.

Affiliations

Virgil activates his fatherly senses the most and constantly getting invited to eat at Patton’s

He’s always encouraging the vigilante to go out, then ultimately visiting whenever Virgil just doesn’t feel safe enough to go out.

He also loves playing video games together as long as they aren’t horror themed.

Went to highschool with Logan, he was a few years older but since their parents knew each other and Logan didn’t bother socializing with people in his grade, they became close.

They would both occasionally help their peers though small gestures, such as easing someone before a test, or getting someone out of a fever. It was when they met Roman that he dragged them onto greater things and eventually led to forming the alliance.

Logan Altman (20)

Powers:

Super speed

Is ironically always worried about wasting time

The best thing about his power is having more time to appreciate each moment and scene as it happens before his eyes, analyze it, then carry on.

Will stutter whenever he tries to speak at a normal pace. Roman had to help him practice his speech so it wouldn’t give away his identity during superhero duty.

Needs extra calories, and therefore is often found snacking on protein bars, fruit (and obviously Patton’s famous oatmeal-chocolate cookies)

Can be very hot headed and impatient at times.

Studies/Interests

Majors in chemical engineering, takes up astronomy in his spare time, as well as philosophy and english.

Wants to learn german and spanish.

Uses his super speed to be able to take all of his classes during the week, complete his chores in time and always have some spare minutes.

Keeps a schedule that he’s very loyal to or else he might take up more than he can handle and stress himself out (Again).

Despite being so diligent of his work, he always falls asleep in time, makes sure to have a healthy diet and gives himself some time to relax and contemplate.

Affiliations

Has been friends with Patton since elementary, their parents know each other. Their relationship was very stiff at first as the sensitive hero used to infuriate him by taking too long to do things and getting carried away all the time. This led to some outbursts that were always forgiven as long as Logan apologized afterwards.

One day he went too far while Patton was particularly sensitive, causing him to cry. He’s learnt to control himself since then.

He and Roman were classmates in fight grade when Roman moved in, by then he wasn’t friends with anybody else from his generation.

They started to hang out after a few very intense debates regarding the historical accuracy of a few medieval TV shows, and if it was acceptable to deviate from the obscure reality of those times.

Genuinely loves watching Roman perform classics on stage. The first time he saw him was during english class when they were to bring presentations to class, he performed a paragraph from one of Chèjov's tales.

Despite often treating him like an idiot, he recognizes Roman to be brilliant in his own field. And having him in class was always an amusing experience.

Thinks of Virgil’s occasional presence as comforting, but ultimately disagrees with his views on society.

Is constantly trying to convince Virgil to retake his studies, expressing concern for his future.

Roman Garcia(20)

Powers:

Morphing objects as he touches them

He can only change the shape of an object, not the material it’s made of (if he touches a metal chair and shapes it into a sword, it’ll still be made of metal)

It used to be very difficult for him to create things as he couldn’t focus hard enough on a single shape at the time and the images in his brain would get jumbled.

Later on he was diagnosed with ADHD. His family refused to medicate him and for many years he was forced to deal with it without knowing what it was and what to do about it. That, until he met a teacher that dealt with the same thing who was willing to educate him on he matter. From then on, he’s been learning to surpass it and perfect his technique.

Studies/Interests:

Drama school, also forms part of a few independent acting groups dedicated to performing musicals in small theatres.

Writes fantasy novels, as well as scripts for both theatre and film. He loves how different both formats are and the different things he can achieve with both

Can also write and listen in spanish, but is pronunciation is still too stiff to talk back.

Affiiliations:

Went to highschool with Logan, Patton was their senior.

Moved in to New York from Albuquerque with his little brother. Their entire family is from Venezuela.

Comes from divorced parents, had an abusive father growing up.

Doesn’t necessarily hate his brother, but is extremely weary of him growing into a villain since his powers are rarely ever used  for anything other than chaos.

Has a strong attachment to Patton due to the hero’s overbearing, fatherly attitude. Often rings him up at random times to just hang out and watch “Brooklyn 99″ together or learn new recipes. Whether they are in a bad mood or not, it’s always heartwarming to spend time with each other. He really hated Virgil at first for stealing Patton’s attention.

Is currently really fond of Virgil as he can understand the struggles of being forced to move apart from your family. He also really appreciates the vigilante’s willingness to listen

Devin C. Pierce (20)

Powers:

Shapeshifting

Uses his powers to his own advantage and to help those he cares about.

Doesn’t care about fighting evil or turning evil because good and bad are constructs and totally subjective.

Studies/Interests

Drama school

Takes up law as his second major, mostly influenced by watching fake trials on TV and watching legal dramas.

Totally didn’t show Remus “How to get away with murder”.

Affiliations

Met Roman on an improv night at a bar, they got a few good laughs by being absurd and original.

Roman doesnt know about his powers but they're still good friends. Is often asked to babysit Remus when Roman is out fighting crime.

Is constantly teasing Virgil because, in Devin’s words; he’s a “Hypocrite who thinks of himself morally superior to everyone”

Tells everyone the C in his name is for classy.

Remus Garcia (14)

Power:

Morphing objects as he touches them

His creations are always a lot more gruesome than Roman’s

They range from weapons, dick shaped statues, inedible food shaped objects to prank people and tiny versions of torture devices he saw in some horror game about the dark ages. They all decorate his room

Studies/Interests:

He also sculpts manually and enjoys painting. Most of his art is abstract. Only draws explicitly gorey scenes when he’s angry.

He learnt French in secret for years just to one day start pretending he didn’t know spanish anymore and piss everyone off.

Enjoys reading horror stories on the internet a lot. He even found Virgil’s blog while deep diving once, but he doesn’t know that.

Affiliations

Moved in with Roman because his parents were busy with work and couldn’t tend to his “needs” all the time

Constantly trying to get Roman to take him on his missions. Since Roman doesn't trust him not to kill anyone, it never happened.

Is old enough not to need a babysitter, is chaotic enough to need one and only Deceit can handle him.

Patton is greatly unsettled by him, but Remus loves when he comes over to cook for them. He tried to show him his sculptures once when he was younger and it didn’t go well at all.

He is constantly trolling Virgil whenever they’re around, thinking about disturbing things the moment he walks through the door.

[one-abuse-survivor]

hi, i was wondering if you had any advice. i moved out of my terrible situation (yay!) & now my days are lighter & so much easier. i have actually seen an improvement in my behaviour & attitude & even self esteem. but i realised i have been avoiding anything trauma-related out of fear of all those ugly emotions. my nightmares have gotten more frequent & i’ve started having flashbacks (which are not what i thought & definitely not fun). i want to see a therapist but can’t at the moment. (1)

i’m aware i’m still an overflowing fountain of unhealthy coping mechanisms and unresolved trauma but once i start thinking abt those things it’s hard to put it ‘back in the box’ and carry on. i know work has to be put into recovery & that it’s hard & awkward & messy, but i can’t do it alone & i know it’ll just fester if i shove it away and ignore it. i’m quite literally between a rock and a hard place. literally any words at all (even just acknowledgement lmao) will be appreciated, ty 💓😌 (2)

–

Hi, nonnie! First of all, I’m so proud of you for getting out of that situation and for all the improvement you’ve made, and you should be hella proud too 😊

Yeah, recovery is… hard, to say the very least. I’ve been on it for one and a half years now, and there are certain things that I still battle with everyday, things that I must have brought up to my therapist a thousand times, and things I haven’t brought up yet at all because I’m so scared I’ll have to face them if I do. But I can tell you a few things that I’ve learnt!

- Go step by step, one step at a time. When I first brought up a thousand different PTSD symptoms and unhealthy coping mechanisms to my therapist, the first thing she told me is, we can’t possibly fix this all at once, so let’s start with the most pressing issue – you can’t keep skipping meals. Which was a thing I did. So we started there; literally just with me telling myself I can’t keep skipping meals anymore every time I wanted to. This doesn’t mean I haven’t skipped a meal in one and a half years because of my PTSD, but it does mean that the days I do skip meals are now catalogued as bad days. Recovery has bad days, and during those, sometimes I still skip a meal, but now all of these days are separate from every other single day. I’m not a person who skips meals anymore. I’m a person who sometimes has bad days and struggles a bit more to eat. 

- And that applies to every other one of your symptoms. They’re not going to magically disappear one by one, but they can stop being a part of you and become just a part of the bad days you have sometimes, separate from the rest of your life. 

- How to achieve this?

- I don’t understand/remember every single step I’ve taken in my recovery process, but one thing I can tell you is that it’s okay not to think about it. It’s okay not to want to go back to all those ugly emotions. Right now, if I started making a mental list of instances where my mother abused me, I would have an anxiety attack. So I don’t. I’ve talked about this with my therapist, a while ago when I asked her what she thought of exposure therapy methods, and she told me that we already torture ourselves enough with our memories for her to put us back in that situation. It’s okay not to want to go back to those feelings. It’s okay to keep on living your life, create a routine for yourself, make friends and lead a lifestyle that doesn’t include your past trauma. You’re not avoiding anything by moving on! And if you’re worried that you’re burying things that you should probably face, I’m here to say that, in my experience, this is something that you’ll need a therapist’s help with. So there’s no shame in not knowing how to start to face these tings by yourself! As you said, you can’t do it alone!

- Which brings me to my next point: you need people in your life. When you go through trauma it’s normal to isolate yourself, to lose people along the way and lose opportunities to meet new people and to avoid social interation with the people you do know because of anxiety, fear, feeling different, not having experience… During recovery, it’s important that you slowly expose yourself to these tiny life events. Just, the next time a classmate or co-worker or a friend asks you to go for a coffee, or to watch a movie sometime, and you feel like you’d say yes if it wasn’t for fear/lack of experience/anxiety… say yes. (Don’t say yes out of obligation, though, or to do things that you don’t enjoy with people you dislike! This is about you being more and more comfortable having a normal life, not about you pushing yourself to do things/be around people that make you uncomfortable). So even if you don’t face all these giant things that are turning and turning in your mind… do face the tiny things that you feel are like small walls separating you from the rest of the world. Start with the walls that feel easiest to climb. (THIS is the kind of exposure therapy my therapist advocates for! Slowly daring to face things in life that our first insticts tell us we should avoid).

- Reward yourself when you do well, and be kind to yourself when you don’t do so well. Try to train all the voices that say bad things about you to instead say things like “today I did that chore that I’d been postponing! Yay me! I deserve some chocolate.” “Today I couldn’t do this chore! It’s not because I’m lazy; there is a reason behind my struggle. It means I’m not feeling my best right now. I’m going to rest/distract myself/do an easier chore/shower/do whatever I need to do to take care of myself right now (yes, that includes eating that chocolate too) and I’ll try again tomorrow.”

- Try not to spend too much time alone with your thoughts. Read, go out with friends, watch shows you like… fill your day and your mind with things that don’t leave you with hours ahead for you to dwell on your thoughts. Basically this takes me back to that previous point; create a routine, find things and people you like, try new things from time to time. My therapist said spending too much time alone with my thoughts only serves to trigger myself when I could be using that time to do something fun or something I need to do instead!

- It usually takes me from one to two days to completely recover from a flashback. Luckily they don’t happen so often now, because one can’t keep taking days off when they’re continuous. That being said… when you have a flashback, be kind with yourself. Drink water. Take the day slowly. Write “rest” on your to-do list so that literally one of the things for you to do that day is to just rest. Just lie in bed with your phone for a few hours. Ta-da! A to-do thing completed. Sleep plenty. Also, you know when you’re crying and people ask you if you want to talk, or if you want to go somewhere else, and instinctively you know if the answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’? This happens to me at least; when I’m in pain, it’s like instinct takes over and I don’t need to wonder what I need–my body just tells me. Similarly, when I have a flashback, both during and after it happens it’s like my body is just asking me for things I need. Cover your face, don’t let anyone touch you, stop every noise around you are some of the common ones. And afterwards, it’s usually more like be home alone, lay in bed in the dark, don’t go out, drink water. My advice is to listen to your body. Yes, even if our trauma tells us to stay home it’s important that we jump the small walls; but having a flashback leaves you very vulnerable, and things that are usually tolerable and even enjoyable can turn into a living nightmare; from sounds and lights to having to sit through three hours of lectures to having to talk to people. So when you have a flashback, for a day, avoiding these things if you feel like it’s the best option is okay. 

That’s all I can think of right now! I hope some of this helps you at least a little bit and I hope that you are having a good day today 💗 And please, remember that your comfort and safety always come before my advice; if something I said doesn’t feel right, don’t feel like you have to do it. I’m just one person with one experience, after all! (Also if anyone reading this has their own advice, you’re more than welcome to add it to the post 😊) 

Sending you a big big hug and lots of encouragement!