#insults and food

[octaviasdread]

being friends with international students is like yes i’m with you so much i’m absorbing your native language but no i can’t talk to your parents with this collection of random nouns and insults we’re pretending you don’t use

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[fanaticalthings]

just another night in gotham

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[lastoneout]

I think the best thing about NileRed's videos where he turns weird things into food is the sheer difference between his skills as a chemist and his skills as a chef. I mean he's def improving, but it's SO funny to see someone spend weeks or months turning plastic gloves into nordihydrocapsaicin only to put it in the saddest hot sauce recipe you've ever seen made in a tiny little blender. It's never not hilarious for him to get to the end of huge project and have this very specific chemical only to approach the food part like "eh whatever this should work" like it kills me, it's never not funny.

I do appreciate that the only thing that did turn out correctly was the chocolate and the american cheese because making both of those is way closer to chemistry than most cooking imo, so that tracks, but everything else...it's just amazing, I just can't get enough of his garbage food. It's everything.

[izzystizzys]

the thing about being the highest-ranked and most-decorated officer in any GAR/Guard capacity, fox thinks, is that unsurprisingly nobody could give less of a shit or listen to anything he says. it’s not like he earned those medals and recognitions and perfect test scores or anything, now is it, kote?

or, after the zillo beast disaster, the coruscant guard medbay just so happens to be much closer than the GAR one, and surprise surprise, senators don’t want meatdroids to be treated in their facilities after they’ve just protected them with their lives. fox tries to reason against this. fox is unsuccessful, because no one listens to fox.

which is how he finds himself crammed into a corner along with cody, ponds, bly, rex and their jedi, looking out across a medbay which is quite frankly a goddamn disaster rivalling the fight with the zillo beast in proportions. skywalker tries to step out towards one of the medics, and has to be pulled back by the collar of his shirt by amidala, squawking loudly when he’s nearly rammed over by mauler, crucifix and a shrilly screaming crash cart.

it’s not like fox said this would be a bad idea or anything.

“um, vod”, cody begins, unsure, “what’s - is that guy sewing wooley up with thread?!”

meathook, who is in fact sewing wooley up with thread, and looks about as happy about it as his patient, and who fox honestly thought was going to cry when he announced the influx of patients about to descend on them, snaps something about triage over his shoulder at hound, whose arm is decidedly bent in a way it shouldn’t be, jerking his head to gesture at the rickety cot next to cody’s ARC. fox is pretty sure they salvaged the thing from a dumpster. he slaps a bandage on the stitches that fox fears might be from the same dumpster.

“putting those advanced reconnaissance training skills to use, kote”, says fox, who invariably turns into the worst possible version of himself whenever cody opens his mouth within a klick of his vicinity.

skywalker harrumphs, evidently at the end of his impressive patience. “well, why?! hey, trooper! these men need bacta!”

“do they, now? i’m sorry, i hadn’t noticed”, a low voice hisses angrily behind them, and fox is the only one who doesn’t jump on account of he’s too dead inside to be scared of his CMO anymore. a grave error, he’s sure. “i guess i’ll just go pull some out of my ass along with a tank and painkillers, then! hadn’t thought of that yet!”

warcrime, whose eye is twitching and who is holding a bloody saw in visible consideration of using it, pins skywalker with a look that has had shinies all over the guard peeing themselves. “we don’t have any fucking bacta, you absolute numbskull.”

“but that can’t be right”, cody pipes up again, next to a very troubled looking generals kenobi and windu. fox sympathises very much with the patented migraine-glare on windu’s face. “why do you not have any bacta?”

“because i like to smear meiloorun juice all over my patient’s stab wounds, commander”, warcrime says. “it’s a homeopathic medicine thing. because the chancellor refuses to give us any, genius.”

“what?!” skywalker says, bristling. “that can’t be true! he wouldn’t -“ he’s cut off by his comm pinging loudly over the moaning and crying in the medbay, and warcrime leaning close enough to be heard with a whisper.

“well, he would, and if you don’t believe me, there’s a holorecording of him telling marshal commander fox why biological weapons on the homefront have lower priority and therefore half rations of everything. now get out of my medbay or find out why they named me warcrime, sir.”

amidala, the collective braincell holder for both her husband and the senate combined (on occasion), tugs him out of the way of warcrime’s bonesaw and ire. fox, who very much enjoys not being the primary target of a medic for once, unfortunately also has to be the adult in the room. “sirs, a transfer to the GAR barracks medbay might be a preferable- AH, MOTHERFU-“

“get him, stabby!”, rabid whoops from where he’s resetting thire’s nose, who echoes a much more nasal and muffled, “go, ftabby!”

“get kriffing FUCKED, stabby, you absolute-“, fox seethes, trying to swipe for the medic’s head and nearly planting one on cody instead by accident, who unfortunately manages to evade the swing fox is admittedly projecting very obviously on account of the sedation hypo jammed into his flank.

“medbay rules, sir”, stabby calls, dancing away towards mauler and his crash cart, while someone bumps something solid and flat against the backs of fox’s thighs that he can’t help but tumble back on, already seeing two codys and blys dancing around his vision. “commander fox protocol dictates he is to be helped to sleep as often as possible, sir.”

“a desperate but well-founded measure, i’m sure”, kenobi of all people agrees, and fox waves an unsteady hand in what might be the general’s direction to the sound of cody’s scandalized gasp. “as you were, officer… stabby.”

“traitors”, fox slurs, just as his com-unit begins to ping with an urgent notification. before he can try and answer it, warcrime has ripped it off his arm and flung it somewhere out of his sight. eh, it probably wasn’t anything THAT important, fox thinks. and if he wakes up two days later to a near-hysteric meathook kissing the glass casing of the guard’s brand new bacta tank over and over again, he decides to just roll over and go back to sleep.

[cupophrogs]

Please tell me Drew has given CatNap the finger, or some other sort of insult. (That might've almost ended in death.) Shame the last thing he sees won't be Drew's fabulous Minecraft Creeper (Aw man.) boxers. Ú-Ù

Absolutely.

“I think I took a few years off my life, I laughed so hard! Ah… stuff’s funny as hell, I’ll tell you what.”

[brainrotcharacters]

I committed the sin of not knowing about Patti LuPone before Agatha All Along can the fandom forgive me

[aha-chuu]

I find it so amusing that Alhaitham's "least favourite food" voiceline is this:

Which, like, A) doesn't actually say anything about his tastes, and B) nerd.

But then his signature dish is this:

Derived from this:

He LITERALLY just took a stew, a "soup-like" dish, fried it into a pie(?) so that he could eat it like pizza while reading.

(and for my Kavetham/Haikaveh girlies out there, the signature says "contemplation" on top. Which really feels like Alhaitham's passive aggressive way of telling Kaveh to think things through more.)

[juniper-clan]

Slickclaw as a human would look like Joey Richter from Team Starkid and you can’t tell me otherwise

[saccharinescorpion]

imagine being Maple and being obsessed with the idea of becoming a queen and having your DORK of a big sister be the one in your family to get the name “Reina”

[kuroananosanji]

I’ve mentioned on my priv twt that Zoro calls Sanji “廚子” (chu zi) in the Chinese translation and that somehow sounds… romantic? “Cook” or コック in English/Japanese sounds like just your average nickname among dudebros but 廚子 sounds like something you’d call your wife (if you’re some grumpy old man). Maybe it’s coz Chinese people have a habit of calling their spouses insulting nicknames (see: 臭婆娘、老婆子 which are just variations of “old hag”😭), so we can’t help but interpret zosan as some boomer “ol’ ball and chain” couple

[57sfinest]

kim is such a funny little guy like he emphasizes how little the rcm salary is when you ask about it (5500 reál annually- 460/mo) but here he is with his nice electronic sports watch and his little instant camera and his fancy revolutionary cosplay for plainclothes and he's living in the GRIH which can't be cheap and he's got his fancy little mnemotechnique notebooks which are like the moleskine of elysium i guess and his fancy little ballpoints that he does NOT want to share with you which i bet is because they cost him like a week of salary. and this is the rcm he's not getting stipends for supplies or watches or housing or probably even the gas for the kineema. poor as fuck but he is going to buy himself his little treats god damn it. if he lived in our world you know he'd be out getting himself a $9 vanilla soy milk half caf dirty chai iced latte every morning on the way to the station and eating instant noodles every night to claw out room in the budget for it

[one-time-i-dreamt]

My kitchen was filled with a bunch of baked potatoes but I was only allowed to eat a plastic cup full of corn so I went upstairs and hid under a blanket for some reason, then a ghost threw off my blanket and called me a little bitch and told me to eat a potato. It felt so real I actually got up and went downstairs to eat a potato before I realized that it was just a dream.

[mouthpoisons]

im still here and im still mad and feel like supplementing the stuff i said by talking about one of my favourite shows of all time, black sails. it's a show that markets itself as a prequel to fucking treasure island, and it has several beautifully handled examples of ''messy'' queer people and various flavours of Actual queerplatonicism/soulmateship, and i want to parade them around in service of saying Get Fucked to That Man a little more.

like i seriously feel like its my messy-nebulous-identity-queer-man oligation to hammer it in that he is gaslighting everyone, and that what he's trying to make you give up and just accept that he Apparently wrote genuinely exists in incredible capacities in infinitely better more big-brained pieces of media. the jayvik narrative was just straight up ''they want eachother but they have to battle the comphet demons first''. the queerplatonic/soulmate characters you deserve are out there (and by extension in this scenario, actual nuanced pieces of media about ostracised people revolting against their oppressors). lemme put you on.

black sails includes:

captain james flint, a former british navy officer, who was exiled from england because he's outed having slept with a nobleman called thomas hamilton. thomas's wife miranda was in on it the whole time, there's definitely a sense of loss and grief coming from her surrounding the situation but she remains fully supportive of them both, and she loves them both dearly. thomas is thrown into a psyche ward offscreen and flint and miranda flee england to the caribbean, where james becomes a seething vengeful pirate captain and miranda tries her best to make a comfortable home and a life for herself in exile. these two characters are deeply in love with eachother and the exact nature of their love is never spelled out to us. they are intimate with eachother, they fully have sex on screen, however they make a point of making it feel stilted and awkward with james just kinda lying there. miranda will later go on to desperately pursue a pastor who starts frequently visiting her for tea and company.

the way this show beautifully frames the relationship between these two characters honest to fucking god made me land on the reading that james is gay specifically, not bi

my reading of them is that they are a secret third thing, they are some form of queerplatonic partners who are bound together by their grief and the loss of their shared romantic partner. that james, who has gone back to burying his attraction to men under a million layers of shame, is only comfortable having sex with miranda, because shes the only person who fully knows who he is and loves him unconditionally. and in turn for a while she's only comfortable having sex with him, eventhough the relationship leaves her unfulfilled. a piece of fiction being able to ilicit that reading from me, that the man i just described isnt into women but has this relationship with one anyway, is fully fucking insane but they managed it flawlessly. a lot of people share my opinion and a lot of others see the situation as a doomed bi polycule, james as a bisexual man, and him and miranda just straight up being eacothers trauma-bound situationship, etc. which is an equally valid reading. it really could go either way

jack rackham and anne bonny From Real Life are also portrayed in this show, and they are set up as longtime sexual/romantic partners, practically joined at the hip, before shenanigans ensue and anne has her first ever non-hetero sex with a sex worker called max, which leads her to eventually figure out shes a lesbian, and her and max are endgame. i cant quite remember the jack/anne backstory off the top of my head but it goes something along the lines of; anne was the young teenage wife of an extremely abusive husband, and one day jack found himself in their tavern, and he kills the husband and runs away with anne. hes the only compassionate love shes ever known and her arc is built around her realising that shes unintentionally been in jacks shadow this whole time, and that she barely has any idea who she is outside of being his partner.

her lesbian acceptance arc includes her trying desperately to cling onto the initial state of her love for jack by inviting him to a threeway, and it very literally reads as ''i need my boyfriend here for comfort so i dont get scared doing the lesbian sex that actually makes me feel something''.

eventually however, anne comes to accept that she simply loves jack in a different way now, and jack, who loves her more than anything, wants her to be her own person, and is fully supportive of her, is willing to ''let her go''. anne has an amazing scene where she tells him ''i cant be your wife, jack, but we'll be partners until they put us in the fucking ground.'' and when anne uses that word, partners, in that context, you know exactly what she means. they remain intimate with eachother for the rest of the show, they are still eachothers best friends, eachothers soulmates, theyre 2 sides of the same coin, they kiss on the mouth like twice after this revelation for gods sake, but it's extremely clear that what she means by that is she's no longer his sexual/romantic partner. they're a secret third thing now. they are partners in the way That Man tried to retroactively convince you jayvik are.

this is just 2 examples, but ive left out the big one. if i analysed the actual main ''are they like brothers/do they have crushes on eachother/are they soulmates/are they queerplatonic/whatever the hell else is going on here'' relationship the 2 main characters have, id be here a while, and i kind of wanna leave them (and the incredible madi who joins them in their madness later in the story) under wraps incase ive managed to advertise the show to you. theyre amazing and tragic and beautiful and theyre best experienced firsthand. i promise you the authorial intent of portraying a close relationship between 2 men that defies clear-cut labels and explanations is crystal fucking clear in black sails, and it's not just a full ass Gay Guys With Comphet narrative that was word-of-god rolled back on at the last moment. the writers even went on record explaining that they specifically wanted to do a secret third thing with them. i wouldnt know where to dig it up again, but when these guys say it, you believe it. they are Not talking out their asses and they dont think youre stupid.

if you wanna watch a story about vilified downtrodden people who plan to revolt against an imperialist regime, which actually handles that setup amazingly and with proper tact and complexity, that's full of beautiful messy characters and relationships, which ends in a way that's earth shatteringly devastating, but in a way that makes perfect sense and leaves you depressed forever but satisfied, and is 50 billion times better than what arcane turned itself into in that horseshit second season, try black sails. this unabashedly revolutionary anti-imperialist tragedy will continue to surprise you in the best way and i genuinely think that if youre malding over arcane fumbling literally fucking every topic it touched, this should be your next stop. you deserve good food. this is the kind of shit arcane wishes it was.

also another point that i couldnt really fit in anywhere else; they turned fucking long john silver into one of The Most Fictional Characters Of All Time. this show is treasure island fanfiction and they managed to turn the original text into a dubious sequel, and i cant even begin to explain what i mean by that, but john might actually be an entirely new genre of guy now and it's fucking incredible what they did with him specifically. hes fictional character squared. im obsessed with him and they make that feel like a deep unforgivable violation of his privacy. go and experience that man's Narrative

and lastly a big ass disclaimer: the first season is the worst one and you have to go into it with the context that this was originally developed as a Historical Drama For Bros, and it has the vibe of a game of thrones ripoff until the creators are given due control from s2 onwards. theres uh. a lot of Cringe in season 1, i wont lie. the women and wlw characters have some very stupid male-gazey characterisation, theres an extremely uncomfortable arc where a woman is repeatedly sexually assaulted, theres some shock-valuey depictions of slavery, but i promise when the creators are allowed the chance to lock in, they lock the fuck in. they make something amazing out of every topic that's treated in a weird shallow way in the first season and you can tell when they start putting their entire backs into it

someone even did a ''what couldve been'' amv if you dont mind more potential spoilers via out of context visuals

[random-lil-illing]

part two to my last post because im only allowed 10 images per post :(

[lvstharmony]

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