#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people

[fangirl-dot-com]

Lewis Hamilton and George Russel - I'm with a Knight and Slenderman, No One Can Touch Me

It’s part 4 time! This was so fun to write and I laughed so hard at some parts. I feel like George is a really underrated driver. He’s funny and a good person (even though he looks like Woody from Toy Story). And the girlfriend effect has hit him hard. His hair is so beautiful and I need to know what he does with his bangs. 

And then Sir Lewis – good Lord, he needs to go back to that one hairstyle from that one interview that made everyone fall for him 

Specially dedicated to @treehouse-mouse <3

[TAG LIST IS CLOSED] 

Like always, comments, questions, concerns, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated! Love you all &lt;;3 

“Shit,” you muttered as you looked around the now empty paddock. You knew that taking a nap after your media duties had been done was a bad idea. You had played nap roulette with yourself and were now paying the consequences. You shouldn’t have said “oh, I won’t set an alarm. Someone will come get me. I might nap for ten minutes or it might be 3 hours. Who knows!” 

Well, now you knew. It was three hours. 

You looked around for your backpack that you had come with. But as your eyes danced around the garage, it was nowhere to be found. You sighed as you at least remembered your phone. But alas, the world hated you for being a woman: your phone was dead. 

“Ok, there’s no reason to panic. Let’s head to the parking lot and see if someone is still here,” you whispered to yourself. Walking carefully, you exited the dark paddock. The parking lot was no different. 

Dark, cold, and empty. 

“Great. Just great.” You decided to sit on a curb and wait. Maybe by now, Christian or Max would know that you are missing, and will come back to get you. 

Or maybe they were mad at you. Yes, you were on the podium. As a rookie. At your first race. 

But you made a mistake that costed the team a 1-2 finish. Maybe you didn’t deserve to be looked for. 

Before your thoughts could spiral more, two bright headlights blinded you. You raised a hand to try to cover at least some of your face. The two front doors of the car swung open. Your heart started to race. 

It was just you out here and they might be kidnappers. 

“Please I have no money on me. Don’t beat me up or kidnap me. Trust, you do not want to sell me or anything like that,” you spoke out, trying to hinder their unknown wants for you. Your fear slowly melted away at a familiar grandpa laugh and bean-pole build of the two figures. 

“Lewis! George!” You stood up quickly. 

“What are you doing out here?” George peered down. Your neck was bent to even look up at him. 

“Um. I might have been left behind because I was taking a nap. And my phone is also dead.” You sheepishly grinned at the two. 

Lewis sighed before bringing out his phone. “I don’t have Christian’s number, but Toto does. Let me give him a call.” 

Your head cocked. “Do you not have Max’s number?” George let out a laugh. 

“Kid. Think of Abu Dhabi 2021.” Your eyes widened. 

“Sorry.” 

Lewis waved you off and walked a bit aways to hear Toto. George just kind of stared at you as you stared at him. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Of course I’m ok. I’m with a knight,” you pointed at Lewis, “and Slenderman. No one can touch me.” You crossed your arms before giggling. George just gawked at your boldness. You took this time to look at the nice Mercedes in front of you. “Is this the new model?” 

George nodded. “Yeah, Lewis just got it. He won’t let me drive it though.” A pout formed on his lips. 

“I get what you mean. Max won’t let me drive his Ferrari.” 

“Why would you want to drive that junk?” 

Your head tilted. “I don’t know. I like my Porsches better though.” It was George’s time to raise an eye brow. “I haven’t gotten them yet. But they’ll be ready soon. I had to ship one to London and the other to Monaco.” 

“Ah.” 

You looked at Lewis, who was still on the phone. You had an idea. 

A very bad one, but an idea none-the-less. 

“You wanna go somewhere?” You pointed at the still running car. Lewis should have taken the keys. 

“Where would we go?” George was already grinning like the Cheshire cat. 

“There’s a burger king a couple of miles away.” 

George was already climbing into the driver’s side. “Let’s get going!”

Back with Lewis, he was still on the phone. For some reason, Toto would still not give him Christian’s number. 

“Please Toto, I am with two children,” he pinched his brow, “and I’m tired and I’d like to get back to the hotel. So please send me Max’s or Christian’s number.” He wasn’t aware of his car that was now filled with said two children making their getaway. He hung up once he got Max’s number. 

His phone rang for a few seconds before Max’s voice sounded over the background noise of a party. 

“Who is this?” 

“It’s Lewis. You left your kid here.” He heard Max curse on the other side. 

“I thought Vito was getting her, but Vito is right at the bar. Can you send me your location so I can pick her up?” 

Lewis waved a hand, even though Max couldn’t see it. “No worries, I can just drop her off. I’m with George and we’ll driver her over. I have my-” Lewis stopped.

“Lewis? Are you there?” 

Lewis’ eyes scanned the now empty parking lot. He groaned. “They took my car!” 

Max laughed for a bit before he realized that Lewis wasn’t playing. “Send my your location, I’m already out the door. We’ll find them.” 

By the time Max got to Lewis, you and George were already having the time of your lives. 

You pointed out the window. “Look Georgie. Traffic cones. Have you ever put one on your head?” 

When George denied that he had, you gasped and told him to pull over. You and him climbed out of the low car and walked over to the traffic cones. By now, your phone was a bit charged, courtesy of the charger in the vehicle. And it was blowing up. 

But you didn’t see it or care. 

You picked up one of the cones and put it on your head. Your giggle resonated through it. 

“Y/n, smile!” You heard George say. You smiled, even though it wouldn’t be seen under the orange hat. 

George told you that he was going to set up the camera to take a picture of the two of you. 

“Let’s put our heads together.” The two cones whacked against the other. George had to bend over so that they would be close.

You laughed as your hair was staticky due to the cone. George’s hair was the same, which made you laugh even harder. “Send that to me, I’m going to post in on the gram.” 

The only notification you looked at was the one from George with the picture. Quicky uploading it, you knew you were about to create even more chaos. 

The two of you decided to sit on the curb for a bit. Your thoughts from earlier quickly sprang into your head, due to the silence between you two. 

“George?” you questioned, looking ahead. He was currently scrolling through his phone, but he made a noise to let you know that he was listening. 

“What was it like having a teammate that you know you’ll never amount to? Not saying that you won’t amount to Lewis at some point, but,” you trailed off, not knowing how to continue. 

The click of his phone let you know that George was now focused on the conversation. 

“I get what you mean. It’s very overwhelming. You get put up with world champions, and people are already expecting you to beat records and perform as well as they do.” George sighed as he reflected on his first year with Mercedes. How the people would taunt that he wasn’t good enough to be Lewis’s teammate and that he should just be second fiddle to him. Suddenly, he noticed a hand had been placed on his shoulder. Tears also wetted his face. 

When had he started crying? 

You continued to rub his shoulder until his tears stopped. 

You tried to console him. “Well, we can be second-fiddle buddies together?” you offered, hoping he would laugh. And he did. 

The two of you decided to sit on the curb for a few more minutes. But at this point, you knew that Lewis along with Max were probably on their way to get you. You pulled yourself up, then held out a hand to George, who took it without second thought.  

Before you knew it, the two of you were back in the car, just chilling. 

“Look what Max and Lewis are saying.” You showed him the screen and laughed. It really was fun to mess with old men. 

“Are we still going to burger king?” 

You nodded your head. “If Lewis can be a knight, I need a crown to be the king.” 

“Don’t you mean queen?” he asked as he started the car back up again. 

“Nope.” You popped the P and that was a good enough answer. George pulled away from the side of the street and made his way to the Burger King. The two of you were thankful that it was mostly empty, except for the employees. The two of you ordered more than enough food for two people. You justified it as giving the workers more money. 

Your companion went along with it. 

“Order number 69,” the tired lady called out. George and you shared a look before the two of you collapsing on the ground, dying with laughter and probably exhaustion. You were still giggling as you took the food from the lady. You muttered a thank you before you and George took a table near the back. 

“Did you get your slushie?” you questioned, holding your cup. 

“I didn’t know they had slushies!” 

You took George’s hand and let him over to the machine. The amount of slushies that you slurped down would never be recorded. As you drank one of your last ones, you suddenly remembered an important detail. 

You looked over at the tired lady who took your order. “Do you have the crowns?”  

Max was still constantly trying to reach you, with one hand on the steering wheel and his phone in the other. 

“Come on kid. Pick up,” he pleaded and cursed when the call went to voicemail for the umpteenth time that night. 

Lewis was texting all the drivers in the group chat, asking if they’d seen the two of you. They came up short. 

“This is ridiculous,” Max seethed. “How could you have let them do this?” 

Lewis shot him a glare. “How could you leave her at the paddock after dark?” he bit back. 

“Like I said, Vito was supposed to take her back to the hotel. She’s not allowed in the clubs.” 

“Then Christian should find some way for everyone to party. The kid got a podium her first race as a rookie, and she was left behind.” 

Max banged his head on the steering wheel as they stopped at a red light. Lewis was correct. He wondered if you felt forgotten. Knowing you, you probably did. And it was mostly his fault. He’d talk to Christian about alternatives until you turned legal age.

“I’ll talk to Christian about that. What were you and George doing back at the paddock anyway?” 

Lewis grimaced. “I forgot a file back at our garage. George seemed antsy and restless so I invited him. Never doing that again.” 

Max smirked, “Kids. Am I right?”  

“Look!” Lewis pointed at a familiar car in the parking lot of an empty Burger King. Max pulled in on two wheels. As they walked up, their eyes landed on two people, crowns on their heads, hands flailing. 

Max pushed the door open and stopped towards the figures. His hands landed aggressively on the table. “Do you two know how much trouble you’re in.” 

He heard laughing from behind him. 

“Max. That’s not them,” Lewis whispered. 

Max’s head jerked and saw the scared faces of two employees. He heard more laughing and whipped his head around, eyes finally falling on you and George, whose phone was out recording. You looked as if you were about to explode with laughter. 

“I’m sorry about that.” He turned around and stomped towards your table. “Let’s try this again.” 

His palms hit the correct table this time. “Do the two of you know how much trouble you are in?” He looked into your eyes before glancing at George. 

You stared up at the seething Dutchman. You pulled out a french fry.  

“Fry?” 

“Lewis, I got you an impossible whopper.” George held out the wrapped food. 

Max sighed, anger waning by the minute. There was no fighting with the two of you. The two adult-figures sat down and started to eat. Max munched on a fry as Lewis started to eat the burger. 

You and George continued to talk about your so-called adventures. 

“And then George ran a red light.” 

Lewis choked as George winced. Lewis’s head jerked toward George, eyes squinting. 

“You’re paying for that.” George only shrugged, he had enough money anyway. 

Max just stared in silence, mulling over the exhausting night. You could sense that he was still cooling off, and you were scared of what he might say in the car. 

The food was quickly finished and the four of you were headed out the door. It seemed as though yours and George’s energy levels were quickly tanking as the two of you barely said a goodbye. The hug and faux tears though were enough for Lewis and Max to roll their eyes. 

You watched as George and Lewis left in the Mercedes. You gulped as you got into the passenger side of Max’s rental vehicle. You winced at the proximity. 

You mind quickly went back to your dad. How he’d hit the side of your face if you did anything that was “out of line.” Or he’d pinch your thigh until it bruised. Those were the easiest to hide. When your face was a little too red and purple, your helmet stayed on for the entire race day. 

Your eyes welled with tears at the thought of Max turning out to be like him. You didn’t think he would, but you were out of line tonight. 

No fun. No sneaking out. No stealing (borrowing) cars. 

You were sinking into yourself, and Max could sense that. 

He turned to look at you. What he said next was shocking. 

“I’m sorry kid.” 

Your eyes bulged. “Why are you sorry? If anything, I should be on my knees begging for your forgiveness.” 

Max just stared at you before slowly putting his hand near your head. 

This was it. He was going to hit you and you’d have to live through everything again. You couldn’t tell Christian that his golden-child would do such a thing. And no one would ever believe you. 

You jerked back as your eyes closed tight. Your body tensed, waiting for the repercussion to your actions. Your breaths got a little bit faster and shorter.   

But it never came. 

All that was, was a gentle placed hand on the top of your head. 

Comforting. Loving. Cherishing. 

Max wanted to cry as he saw how your body prepared for something horrible. Something nasty. 

“Kleintje,” Max breathed out. 

Your tears began to make their escape down the hills of your cheeks. You could only repeat and whisper I’m sorry, over and over again. Max couldn’t do anything but wait for you to calm down and maybe tell him what was racing through your head. 

Your breathing evened out as you felt there was nothing coming. Soon you were embarrassed for thinking that Max, one of the only people to seem to care about you, would do such a thing. Yet, your mind always went back to your patterns.

People who should care, didn’t. Hands that were made for comforting, didn’t. Encouragements didn’t exist…for you. 

Maybe you were the problem. 

But, maybe you weren’t. You’d allow some comfort, just this once. 

Max cooed as you leaned into his hand. He knew you were tired. A long day of racing and a long night of adventures would really do that to you.  

He didn’t expect you to explain to so quickly. But you knew how to surprise someone. 

“My dad and mom, weren’t the nicest. They wanted a boy, got me instead.” You harshly exhaled. “They put me in karting because if they had had a boy, they would have done the same. I was just a placeholder.”

Max listened, wanting to hear what you said. 

“It started off small. A push here, a hit to the helmet there. I really didn’t think anything of it. Until I was about 7 and I crashed my kart on the last lap. I was going to win too, but I over compensated and hit the wall. All I remember after that race was my dad grabbing my wrist and yanking me to the car. I hit my head on the dash, I think. Or he was the one to push my head in.” You shrugged at the nasty memory, as if it didn’t matter. 

Max on the other hand, was getting angrier. Yes, his dad did similar things, but he was a boy. He could stand up for himself. And he had his mom and sister. 

You had no one. 

“The next morning, I woke up and there was this giant bruise on my face and smaller ones littered my arms. I thought that was the end of it, except it continued. I was able to hide it pretty well. My race suit pretty much covered everything. I also didn’t have many friends, or, I just didn’t have friends. So there, wasn’t a need to worry. They stopped after I made it to the end of F4, because I was winning and there were more cameras. The moment I made it to F3 in 2019, they disowned me.” 

He did the math. You would have been 16 at the time. Still a kid, but smaller. His heart broke for you. 

“Kid, look at me.” 

You turned your head and made eye contact. Your brows furrowed when you saw tears in his eyes. 

He wasn’t supposed to cry. Why was he crying? 

“I’m crying because no one should ever have to go through something like that.” Oh, you must have said that out loud.

You shrugged once again, “I probably deserved it.” 

“No, geitje, no one deserves that. Ever. You didn’t.” You could only nod along. Your eyes were getting tired by the minute. Max could tell so he started the car. He only had one more thing to say. (translation : kid) 

“My dad did similar things. But I had people to help me. And I know your dad isn’t around, but Y/n,” he said your name, trying to emphasize that he was serious. “I am here for you. Christian is here for you. Mitch is here and so is Vito. We love you. I’m not a good teammate, and you can see that I’ve gone through more teammates than anyone else has in the amount of time I’ve been here. I’m the only constant. But I think that we will actually work out. Best duo right?” 

For the first time since Burger King, where you and him were still parked, he saw your eyes light up. 

You nodded, “Best duo.” 

Max finally took that as a sign that you’d be ok for the night. He carefully back the car out and started on the road toward the hotel. 

“Do you think Christian will let me come to the club next race.” 

Max let out a sarcastic laugh. “Definitely not.” 

Your giggles filled the small space. Max’s heart swelled at making you laugh. 

You’d be all right. He’d make sure of it. 

AN: oh my gosh that got REAL depressing – I apologize. But, Max needed to know a bit more about your lore if he’s going to be able to fend off any unwanted visitors (FORESHADOWING). Anyway, I will see you all at the next chapter! Muah! Much love <3 – author :D 

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[f0point5]

You know, I love Seb (he’s the person who got me into F1) and I respect Lewis and his accomplishments but one thing I’ll never forgive them (and a lot of the older drivers, most already retired now) for is how they treated Max when he came into F1.

Yes, he might have been their rival but he was also a teenager, a literal child and gosh… I know Max probably doesn’t really care anymore but I still hurt for him sometimes.

Especially when you consider that he was the one paving the way for his generation. When Charles and Lando and George and everyone else came up a few years later they were welcomed as the youth, the future of the sport. Older drivers talking about their talent and how great it is to see them come up.

Max didn’t get that. He got shouts of “too young”, “too reckless”, “too… too much”.

So no, to me the only real grid dad (or maybe grid uncle is more fitting, idk) will be Fernando Alonso who said that some people are simply ready earlier than others and that Max should be judged on his performance in the races, not his age (paraphrased).

Fernando who has been an idol a lot of the younger generation growing up but also exchanged helmets with Oscar and Zhou, joked with Lando on instagram, talks Le Mans with Max and probably many more moments I’m forgetting about rn.

THIS.

Honestly, I don’t really get the Seb hype. He just has never given me good vibes. I didn’t watch during the RB days so maybe if I’d seen his golden era I’d have gotten attached but he has just always seemed…not likeable. Clearly a very driven, straightforward, intelligent guy, but something about him doesn’t sit well with me. Anyway rant over.

I’m not even going to talk about LH because…par for the course.

Yes, they were all mean to him. As grown men, too, how are you not absolutely embarrassed?! I get that he’s a kid and maybe you don’t want to hang out with him or confront the fact that you’re not the hotshots anymore but omg it’s a CHILD. (And Seb who made a bit of a meal out of being a bullying victim as a kid…I see you.)

No one else of Max’s generation would have survived the way they treated him, I stand by that. They all needed the support they got, and Max had none of it from his peers. I can’t see Max being the type who cared per se, because he was probably already used to being…not ostracised, but like…observed? And also because of how he grew up I don’t think anyone’s words could rattle him. But even if he didn’t care the grown men should have known better.

If I were Max I’d still be laughing about how bitter I made men in their 30s. Like “I couldn’t grow facial hair and y’all were running scared”. But I still think it must have been a pretty lonely few years until others his age started catching up.

I think Max was really lucky to have such a tight team (Christian, Helmut, Jos, Ray, GP) around him to insulate him a bit and stop him getting pushed around but the way these men tried it. (Toto I’m looking at your for the Jos phonecall.)

Yeah Fernando is the only one who I think was ready to embrace the new frontier as it were. But he is just kind of like that. I feel like he doesn’t feel his age is the disadvantage that most do, and that’s why he’s not so afraid of younger drivers. Like, his relationship with Max, Carlos, lando, George (nye buddies lol) and Zhou (literally just today saw a quote of him talking about how nice Alonso was to him, even Lance, he treats them as much as peers as he does his own generation, it’s cute.

Also, this is kinda random but I swear Nico and Max were kind of friendly in the early years? Max has known Nico a long time, despite the age difference (he said he remembered glasses Nico used to wear at like 7, and Nico once went out with his mum?), Nico was on the jet with Max on his birthday in…2017? And I think there’s a picture of Max having flown with some guys (including both Nicos in 2016) and for some reason I’ve always had the idea that Hulkenberg was his link to that whole crew? (Idk if this whole friendship is a headcanon but for some reason I feel like these two are/were kinda connected)

But yeah, agree. Grown men acting like little bitches. That generation I think was the last generation with real bitterness between the drivers, though. Idk you wouldn’t catch me being a jerk to a kid but I’ve never been terrified of a kid before so 🤷‍♀️

[lexyleblancc]

Baby Monk {Osferth}

Summary: You save the Baby Monk from Finan’s constant teasing 

Osferth x fem!reader

Word count: 859

Warnings: Nothing :)

“Finan, leave him alone.” Your voice sounded as you approached the two men. Finan could often be found poking fun at the warrior-monk, and to your dismay the ladder accepting it. 

“Must you always take the fun out of it?” Finan asked with a groan, turning to face you. You smiled slightly, patting the man on the shoulder before nodding your head in the direction of the others who were setting up camp. 

“Uhtred is looking for you.” You told the man, Finan leaving without another word. You turned your attention to Osferth, a small sigh slipping past your lips. “You shouldn’t let Finan mock you so much.” You told him, making Osferth look at you shocked. Normally when you would tell Finan to leave him alone, you would go after him and never give Osferth a second glance. It was no joke between the others that Osferth had feelings for you. The others found it entertaining, you thought it was cute when his face would burn bright when you would talk to him. 

“It makes him happy.” Osferth spoke quietly, looking down to the leaves under his feet. 

“Does it make you happy?” You asked, cranking your neck so he would look at you. “Osferth, just because others find joy in something, doesn’t mean you should always allow it.” You told him, giving him a small smile when he finally met your eyes. “Finan is a great man, and he finds humor where he can… don’t allow yourself to be on the wrong end of his jokes.” You turned to walk away from the man, leaving him to dwell on your words when he called after you. 

“(Y/N)?” You hummed as you glanced over your shoulder at him. “Why are you being nice to me?” If your heart could shatter upon hearing mere words you were sure it would have. 

“Us bastards should stick together.” You finally said, a small laugh leaving your lips as you offered your hand to him. “If I didn’t have Sihtric growing up… well let’s just say you have many people around that look at you like a little brother now, and I’m afraid I have been a little cold towards you.” You never knew how to take Osferth’s crush on you. Never had anyone looked at you with pink cheeks, stuttering over their words as they spoke to you. Your brother, Sihtric, found joy in the fact that someone had finally made you nervous, even if he was a Christian man. Sihtric hated the idea of marrying you off, it was his responsibility since you had no one else, but he also knew you had the soul of a warrior. 

You had been alongside Sihtric your entire lives, and when he swore to serve Uhtred, you followed your brother. Finan had joined your little band of warriors after him and Uhtred had been saved from the slavers, and Osferth was the last to join. You didn’t have high hopes for the monk when he first joined Uhtred’s service, he had no experience with a sword, and had never witnessed a battle. You assumed he would have died quickly, but he surprised you. 

“You haven’t been cold towards me.” Osferth told you finally, moving his hand from yours so he could situate the two of you so you were linking arms instead. “I just assumed you didn’t like me.” He told you truthfully. 

“I’m afraid that is far from the truth.” you didn’t intend to say it outloud, but the words had spilled from your lips before you could take them back. 

“Really?” The grin of his face was enough to make any woman weak in the knees. 

“Yes, really.” You told him, a smile to match his falling upon you. “I’m afraid I’m not great with emotions.” You said, looking from him and back to the trees that surrounded the two of you as you walked. “So being around you has sometimes made me nervous.” 

“I make you nervous?” Osferth asked, making you roll your eyes at his new found ego. 

“If you’re going to start teasing like Finan, maybe I should stop intervening to save you the trouble.” 

“Forgive me, (Y/N). I just can’t find it in myself to believe that a warrior like yourself would like a monk.” Osferth told you truthfully, his head bowing as he spoke. You pulled him to a stop, tilting your chin to meet his gaze as you smiled softly. 

“I may not care for your God Osferth, but that does not mean I cannot care for you.” You told him, leaning up slightly and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Now,” You cleared your throat to admire his pink cheeks slightly. “The others are waiting for us.” You told him, stepping away from him to continue the walk back to the rest of the group. 

Osferth watched you walk away, his mouth slightly agape. He could feel the heat radiating off his face, which made it even worse knowing he had to go back to face the others like this. “Come along baby Monk!” You called, not looking over your shoulder. 

“Coming!” 

[myrtles-and-blood]

𖤓 Lucifer, the Light Bringer, Prince of Hell 𖤓

This is pretty long and corny, it's mostly for Lucifer and that's it. In case someone relates.

The freedom from your arms, bloody wings. A leap without faith, unbearable agony.

But the floor does not keep me for long. There is no bone that does not heal, there is no body that does not fight to live.

Without you I am everything I have never been, I finally cry with joy.

Quick poem without any pattern for Lucifer, but I would spend all my time writing for him. There's no special occasion for this offering.

I wanted to make this as a way of describing how I see him. He's very tall and lean, usually with a black suit and depends if he has his jacket on or not. Long black straight hair, and his eyes appear for me in many colors (red, blue, gold, black, and sometimes he mimics my eye color, so a blue/green weird color). He's very pale and has sharp features, and as we know he is very handsome, too.

I think I talked about this before but this is my blog and I do what I want:

I met Lucifer when I was really stressed because I couldn't write something for an assignment. I thought about writing about christian mythology because I started having a really hard interest in it.

I was having yet another faith crisis, but I did feel a heavy, tall presence on the right side of my bed. I was writing about Lucifer here, so I kind of thought it was him. I was extremely nervous, shaking and I just couldn't look at him (where I thought he was).

So I asked him (trying to appear normal about the situation) to help me write this, put some creativity in my head, I don't know, something.

I'm not gonna post it here, but I am really, really proud of it, and I got the highest score and a really good note from my teacher. I thanked him, of course, but that was it.

He appeared one or two more times randomly. However, he was living rent free in my head all the time, every day. There was not a day I didn't think about him. I started reading info about him, started to look into books about him, fiction about him that wasn't shit, but I didn't have time for anything.

One day I got tired. I couldn't think without thinking of him, and I was going nuts. So I told him (reinterpretation of the situation, he is very different now and there's a context behind his words)

"Hello, you have been in my head for a long time, and I want you to help me with —— because I think we have a pretty good connection and, to be honest, I just can't stop thinking about you"

He told me "Good, good. I'm fine with it. I'm not going to do anything, though. Do whatever you feel like you want to do, and we'll see how that turns out. I don't think you're gonna last a week, you're weak about all of this"

"That is... rude. I don't know, I don't trust myself much on this but I want to try"

"If you don't trust yourself, why would I trust you? Again, do whatever you want and call me if you need me, but I don't want you to waste my time like you've done before with others. I have better things to do than being around someone as irresponsible as you with your own time" and he was gone.

He caught me with a really good humor, because I took that as a base to get started. I finally made his altar (it's very small and cramped but he thinks it's nice), and talked to him a lot. I insisted I wanted some signs because I thought I was going crazy, and since then I've been seeing white and grey feathers everywhere I go to cheer me up.

He listens to me, he likes to listen to my opinion and likes when I want to hear his advice. He cares when I tell him something when I'm stressed and gives me great advice. He likes roses and I like drying them so he can always have some in his altar. I never liked the sun much but since I met him, the light feels different. I have a place to cry, and stars to look at, because they look back at me. I have someone that smiles when they look at me, and I have the best source of inspiration in the world.

I still think I sound extremely crazy, I hate being corny, but he's just really nice to be around. He's dad 🫶🏼

I hope that anyone that wishes to work with him has the best experience, because he is the best.

Ave Lucifer 🌌

[notsoattractivearenti]

Family Day Out (Christian Pulisic x Fem!Reader)

WC: 1.1K

Warnings: none

A/N: wrote one to feed dad!puli nation 🤭 didn’t proofread this and since i wrote it pretty quickly it may not be that good, so apologies in advance 🙂 hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 🫶🏻 apologies for any grammatical errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

—

On a Saturday afternoon, Christian brought your little family to the Pulisic Stomping Grounds. Your children, 6 year-old Luca and 1 year-old Lucia, were wearing their USMNT home kit with ‘Daddy’ and number 10 on their jerseys – Christian customized those jerseys and chose Daddy instead of Pulisic because he thought it would be cuter, and he was right.

Luca and Christian – and sometimes you – play all the time at home. Your house has a small football pitch in the backyard – sometimes Luca would bring his friends to play there. Luca already said he wanted to follow his dad’s footstep to be a professional football player, and both you and Christian are very supportive of his dream – especially Christian, he cried out of happiness the day Luca told him.

Luca is taking every advantage he has of having a professional football player as a father. He loves to watch every game Christian has played in and practices his techniques whenever he can. Christian is very proud of his son and tries his best to help him reach his full potential – no matter how tired he may be, if his son asks him to train him, he will do it in a heartbeat.

When he built the Pulisic Stomping Grounds, not only did he want people – especially kids who love football – to put the stomping ground to good use, he also envisioned him bringing his kids there and happily playing football together. Now the day he has been waiting for has come, and he couldn’t be more excited.

—

Luca was so excited to finally play football with his dad at the stomping grounds. Because your family doesn’t live in Miami, you didn’t get to visit it so often. Luca was the one who decided to wear the kit because he wanted to make it feel like actual training – he even begged his parents to wear the jerseys too, so you and Christian did.

“Come on, Daddy! What is taking so long???” Impatient Luca shouted from the front door.

“Okay, okay,” Christian grabbed the car keys and calmly walked towards the door, “let’s go, buddy.”

—

Finally arriving at the stomping ground, Luca immediately got out of the car and ran into the field. He had been holding his favorite ball all the way to the stomping ground, and once he got on the field, he started running and kicking the ball around.

“Mommy, Daddy, Lulu, let’s go!”

“Hey, don’t start without me!” Christian ran towards Luca and started playing with him.

Lucia saw her dad and brother and immediately went to join them. You were behind her and were ready to catch her – she just started walking so you were being cautious. Christian saw little Lucia was coming and as she reached his legs, he picked her up.

“Lulu, do you want to kick the ball?” Christian asked her, and she said “ball” in response.

He then held her close to the ground and walked her near the ball.

“Look, it’s the ball… Kick it around sweety!”

He then swung her little by little, made her feet touch the ball and was able to move it.

“Oh good girl! That’a a great kick!” He sounded proud.

You filmed it on your phone, and Luca was cheering at the back.

“Great job, Lulu!” Luca clapped his hands.

—

“Mommy… While Daddy’s with Lulu, do you want to play with me?” Luca asked you.

“I would love to! Come on!” You accepted his offer.

You love to play football – not professionally like your husband does, but you can definitely play – and you did some touch and passing exercise with your son.

Christian couldn’t help but pay good attention to what you were doing. He would throw some compliments and advice once in a while.

“Whoo, Mommy, nice touch honey!” – when the kids are around, he calls you “Mommy”.

“Look at that pass! That’s my son!”

“Try practicing more on your left foot!”

—

“Daddy!” Luca called his dad.

“What’s up, buddy?”

“I want to play with you now!”

Christian looked at you before agreeing – he wanted to play with Luca but only if you were okay with taking over Lucia during.

You nodded, letting him know it was good.

He grinned. “Of course! Let’s go, pal!”

He then handed Lucia to you, ran towards Luca and started playing right away. You and your little girl were watching the boys playing from the side, cheering them on.

—

That afternoon was a lot of fun. No one was around but four of you – your little family spent a really nice time there.

Luca and Christian were screaming and laughing a lot during, and they played for quite a while – they seemed to truly enjoy the game. Luca got to nutmeg his dad a few times and Christian would act like he was annoyed by it.

“Bud, stop doing that to me!” He jokingly protested.

Luca giggled – he was very proud of himself.

Not only that, Luca would tackle Christian and Christian would playfully fall to the ground.

“Ouch!” Christian groaned as he fell.

“Daddy!” Luca laughed. “Get up!”

When Luca finally scored a goal against Christian, he was beyond happy. Christian pretended to be disappointed at the goal, then praised him for it.

“Mommy, look, I made a goal!” Luca shouted at you to proudly tell you about the goal.

“What a shot! Good job, baby!” You cheered him on.

Christian came over to him to give a high five, but Luca ran into a corner flag and kicked it just like his dad did when he scored a goal against Mexico in Nations League semifinals. You and Christian were surprised then laughed it out.

“Hey, that’s my move! I taught you that!”

—

After spending some time there, it was finally time to go home. Your kids were exhausted but they had a great time.

On the way home, the kids fell asleep. Christian looked at the rearview mirror and smiled, admiring his babies.

“You had a lot of fun today, yeah?” You said.

“I mean, I got to spend time with my family at my stomping ground. Of course I had fun!” He excitedly agreed.

“So, what do you think of Luca?” You asked him.

“He is about to be a great player, even better than me.” He answered.

“That kid has a huge potential, honey. I’m very proud of him.”

“Right? Well he learned from the best.” You winked at him.

He chuckled. He then grabbed your hand and kissed it.

“I love you. And I love our family. Thank you for our wonderful and perfect kids, Y/N. They are amazing because of you.”

—

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem

[grimescum]

it's been great seeing your walter posts in the hellsing tag 🫡 do you have any head-canons to share?

GEHEUEHEHUEEHHEE THANK YOU KIND ANON!!!!! hum... i think i already made a post about this on my older blog? but i dont really wanna find it + its probably really old so... here :o3 some new and some old just for u

- i Do Not like the depictions of walter where he's, like, a genuinely sick in the head and fucked up individual. it just seems grossly extreme to me. different strokes for different folks though

that being said, i do agree he's definitely not well. i think he has bpd,, mostly out of me projecting and what not but also because i think it just makes sense. growing up distanced from the people around you and not receiving proper emotional support does that to a mf

he's got a facade up damn near all the time. inoffensive, orderly, agreeable, prim and proper. not to manipulate the people around him for his own gain, but because he knows thats what other people want. anything less and he'd be a bad butler, and therefore, effectively useless

- not really a hc since this is just kind of a fact? but ill say it here because its what draws me to him the most: he's afraid of being rendered useless.

- he's not an emotional guy. i dont think he feels much most days. all his smiles are about as fake as the teeth he would've needed if he went on for much longer. i think he's been somewhat resigned to his fate for a while now, but that doesn't stop him from thinking what if every now and again

- he certainly is a jealous little bitch but he keeps that inside. if he ever got therapy he'd need like explosives and shit to properly get all of that pent up emotion out

- ^^ i think thats why he gets a bit sadistic when fighting others. its just a way to vent all that frustration

- i dont think he had many plans, if any at all, to turn on hellsing. he definitely had thoughts, but i think it all caught up to him one night and he just decided it was too much, and that he had nothing to lose that he wouldn't lose later on. either he lives an unremarkable existence in the shadow of alucard or tries to surpass that (he didnt) (he failed) (lol). ties into my bpd headcanon with impulsivity being a symptom

- he would've loved to have been a father at some point but has since abandoned it for many reasons. seras is about the closest he has to a daughter and the most he's opened up to someone emotionally, but he still keeps himself at an arms length.

- i like to think he grew out his hair at some point during the 80s for a mullet but liked having it long

- i also think he'd be big on rock when he was younger!! he tried it at first just because it was popular, but he found that it really spoke to him. i don't think he's much of a music guy outside of that though. maybe some jazz

- he is an incredibly lonely individual, as is expected of a butler. he can handle flirting somewhat but the idea of someone being genuinely attracted to him for who he is turns him into a sappy old-fashioned loverboy

- former christian. he still thinks there is a god (evidenced by vampires obviously) but that god has not been very kind to him to lead him down this path so why gaf

- very meticulous about keeping up his appearance. not a serious headcanon but its funny to imagine him up all night plucking each and every grey hair out of his head. if not just to look as presentable as possible, then it also helps his confidence. its nice to know that his apprarance is one of the few things he has control over

- speaking of which ??? i think hes confident.. but only in the persona he's made for himself yk. not in the real him who's body could fail him anytime. not the human part of him.

- not good at taking compliments but loves them. praise him too much and too often and you'd finally see him emotional i think. really, letting this man know that his worth is not defined by how useful he is to others would fix him

- i think his monocle is both for appearances and because he's got a bum eye, trying to hide it in a way that fits

- poor guy doesn't sleep well most nights. his morning tea, if he's able to have any, is highly caffeinated (i dont think he'd be that much of a coffee guy- not to mention the whole tea drinking thing is befitting of a british butler, so he'd roll with it)

- i'm on my period... so.... like.... i'm going to get a little freaky on main rn (feel free to skip over this, its nothing explicit) but i get So Sick of people seeing him as the daddy dom archetype. like yea older man ouuuu i have daddy issues oauauuu choke me whatever but i'm more inclined to think that he'd actually too insecure about his ability to please his partner to be that way. atleast, not without some sort of affirmation.

again, different strokes for different folks, but like. he is bordering 70. he grew up in the 1930s. i cannot be the only one who thinks this. or maybe i'm just a huge pervert idk (yes ❤️)

- in a similar vein, i'm glad that i havent seen any fanart of him muscular because i would be so mad but in the most respectful way possible – this man is, like, rail thin. i do think he does a decent amount of exercise when he can so its not like he's not a pile of bones. i'll admit that i've maybe drawn him a bit too skinny in the past though

ok my pain meds r kicking in and making me sleepy... if some things r kinda incoherent thats why. THANK U AGAIN ANON!!!

[prolifeproliberty]

As we enter Lent and many Christians are setting aside additional time for prayer and devotions, it’s a great time for Christian women to talk about head covering in the context of 1 Corinthians 11.

”Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.“

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬-‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

If we read this carefully, we do not see any evidence that this passage was only meant for the church at Corinth. Paul specifically says “every woman” and “every man.”

The argument that head covering was the norm in Corinth also doesn’t make sense, as Paul refers to traditions being delivered to the church at Corinth by him. Why would he be delivering a local Corinthian pagan custom as a tradition? We also don’t actually have historical or archeological evidence that head covering was the norm for Corinth.

It’s also not specifically a modesty issue, as the instruction for women to cover is connected to the doctrines of headship and order of creation. If it were a modesty issue, instructing men to uncover wouldn’t make sense.

In addition, when we look at church history surrounding this topic, we can see that head covering was the normative practice for nearly every Christian church from the 1st century to the 1960s, when feminist groups like NOW pressured churches to end the practice and staged protests during church services, like one where women went to Communion, removed their hats, and left them on the communion rail.

So for about 1900 years, Christian women around the world covered their heads at least during church services and prayer, if not all the time. Then in the 1960s feminists decided we shouldn’t do that anymore.

I began covering my head during prayer a little over a year ago now. At first, I wore coverings during church and Bible study, and would also put them on for private prayer and devotion time. Now I cover almost full time, mostly because it’s easier and it encourages me to pray more throughout the day, rather than just at designated times.

If you are interested in exploring head covering, The Head Covering Movement has a lot of great additional reading and resources, and their Instagram is full of beautiful examples of what head covering can look like.

For getting started, I recommend wide headbands or nice bandanas/square scarves that are simple and don’t necessarily call attention to the fact that you are covering. Mantilla veils can be a beautiful option for church services and home devotions. I personally like bandanas and larger scarves like the ones from The Scarf Bar. But you can find what you like and what works for you!

I’m not here to guilt or pressure anyone into covering, but I feel the need to share what I have learned about it and invite the Christian women who follow my blog to read 1 Corinthians 11 carefully and listen to what Scripture says about it. Study it, study the church history, and pray about it.

And of course, please feel free to ask questions!

[eddiediazangst]

It's very telling to see Max Verstappen, Christian Horner and Helmut Marko all talk about Redbull competition and specifically mention Charles and Ferrari as different entities.

All three of them have gone on record multiple times to state that their biggest threat/competition is Charles and then they'll make a comment about Ferrari failing to utilize him or a general comment about a Ferrari weakness eventhough a few minutes before they'll have praised Charles for the same thing they're now critical about.

Max multiple times has been asked about Ferrari and his thoughts on how much of a threat they are and every single time Max will start talking about Ferrari in general and then end up only talking about Charles and how he likes racing Charles because he's a great driver and he knows they'll both have a proper race fight.

Horner for some reason has risen in the Charles defender ranking during 2022. There was the Silverstone thing that was shown in DTS. There's also the two interviews after France22 when he was asked about Charles crash and Horner was very clear about it being a mistake and he knows Charles isn't a crasher.

Both Horner and Max in separate interviews said that Charles knows he fucked up in France and didn't need people bringing it up and telling him how much he messed up. They both were two of the only people (at first) to defend Charles in Monaco21 and we're adamant he didn't crash on purpose eventhough a year later they didn't keep the same energy for one of their own.

Marko has made some past comments about Charles that has haven't been nice however he's recently being giving Charles a lot of credit. He's the main one who'll separate Charles and Ferrari so he can shit talk Ferrari but be nice to Charles. It's very Jos Verstappen core, that man was ready to swing at younger Charles for the Inchident but will turn around and call him good competition and a smart driver. (I still remain curious about their conversation during the 1000th race)

There's a few interviews where multiple drivers get told either by interviewers or other drivers about some dumb fucking Ferrari fail and they always look so confused and then like 10 minutes later you'll see them talking to Charles in the media pen.

I mean it's not just Redbull, some time in 2019 Mercedes alluded to the fact that they built a strategy based on Charles because they presumed with him winning multiple races, being on multiple poles and having more points than Seb he'd get priority so they had a plan that required Charles being prioritised and the plan failed because Seb was favoured.

Wolff was praising Charles so often that enough people genuinely thought he had an ulterior motive and was trying to convince Charles to go to Mercedes.

Nothing against Carlos (or Seb) but it's very clear who Redbull and Mercedes would prioritise between them and probably have as first driver because he's the only one they see as competition.

Like you've got Horner and Wolff agreeing on something why on earth would you decide that they're not correct in their opinion. They never agree on anything but if they're coming to the same conclusion then clearly something is wrong on Ferrari's end.

[burnt-scone]

Oh no, seeing the traumatized and injured people of Gaza makes you uncomfy?

We can't have almost 60, if not more, family trees being wiped from existence, making you uncomfortable. No, we can't have that. Those bloodlines, generations burned off the face of the planet, how rude of of people lifting their voices, because you feel bad.

Here, let me fluff your pillows in your nice, warm, and safe bed. Do you need a snack, a glass of clean water. Poor you. You must be so uncomfortable hearing about all those people who are now the last person in their family, the last person who lived on their block. The children, all alone, hurt and scared. They understand horrors you couldn't even handle the sight of through a screen. Must be so upsetting to look that 6 year old in the eye as all he wants is his mommy and daddy back.

Poor fucking you. I hope you're uncomfortable. That's a good thing. That's that crumb of empathy deep down in your empty soul. It hurts for the people in Gaza even though you don't want to because you ride the dicks of propaganda. You fear picking up a fucking history book.

And no, it's not antisemitic to be against a corrupt government funded by other historically corrupt governments. It's not antisemitic to be against Genocides. Stop trying to weaponize morality.

"Oh, (Palestinians) are everything anti-(Jews/Israel), we should get rid of them. They're not even human. In the name of G/d, we should eradicate them. They brought it on themselves."

Now, isn't that argument familiar? Replace "Palestinians" with "Jew" and "Jews/Israel" with Germany or literally Europe. That was the argument Hitler made. He convinced Germany and the church to start the Holocaust. He claimed Jewish people were corrupting Germany and the Christian way of life. They were causing the stock market to crash, and they caused the Great Depression.

Obviously, that was wrong. It was obviously excuses to commit ethnic cleansing and Genocide. And that's what's happening now in Palestine.

Hamas is not in the West Bank, which is fact, but that isn't stopping Israel from murdering thousands. Every heinous air strike on a school or hospital that try and say "Oh their were like 5 members of Hamas on the roof."

Bullshit. You don't need an airstrike on a few guys on the roof of a hospital. Especially if you aimed for the lower levels of the building.

I am Jewish, and I am not antisemitic. I do not see this as a Judaism vs. Islam situation. This is a corrupt power-hungry colonies government vs. innocent people.

We were not supposed to even be settled there yet. No messiah = no return to Jerusalem. This is just a fight over power and land, and I'm tired of the excuses being "Jews," "Judaism," "Jerusalem," "Judea," "Antisemitic," etc... because that's a stupid and horrible excuse.

How often throughout history has religion and culture been the excuse to try and kill us, to keep us in ghettos, to make us carry identification to show we are Jewish. Do you not realize Israel turned around and did the same thing to Palestinians? Before and after WW1, Jewish people lived peacefully in Palestine alongside Islamic peoples and Christian peoples. During WW2, Palestine protected Jewish people. But then, after everything England and the Israeli Colony pushed 20,000 Palestinian peoples into a tiny space (basically a fucking Ghetto) and to enter Israel they have to carry papers and Identification to show they are Palestinians.

I don't understand how people don't see the sad irony in all of this. It's heartbreaking. And I'm so tired of excuses.

Those children didn't provoke anything, it is Palestinian's home, it was colonization, and it's not religious or civilians' fault. It is those in power, it's those with too much power, too many funds, and too many weapons.

Free Palestine, free the children before there are none.

[ltwilliammowett]

Speaking as an embalmer, I'm also skeptical about the scrimshawed skull. Though admittedly not my skillset, the removal of skulls being more of a taxidermy thing and not something generally practiced on humans except in the context of medical schools, I'm really skeptical about someone's ability to preform the required tasks one the body of a friend to get the skull out of the skulls. Few enough modern embalmers are even comfortable embalming their own family. I find it really hard to think that someone would be able to remove all the skin from the outside AND the brain from the inside of a skull of their friend. And even if they were able to emotionally, I'm not sure that they'd be able to practically accomplish that while out at sea. But like I said that's more in the realm of taxidermy so I couldn't say. The line that goes around the skull on which the ship is sitting is looks like what you would expect from a cranial autopsy, but that's usually done with electric tools. Not sure about how or even if iit would have been done like that in 1868. I'd also be really interested in how the top portion of the skull was reattached. In short, I think you're right to doubt its authenticity. Hopefully this hasn't been too weird or creepy. I find my ability to judge what others might find unsettling isn't as great as it used to be before I started studying this stuff. Oh, and if you're interested in beautifully decorated skulls the Hallstatt Ossuary is absolutely gorgeous if you ever have the opportunity to visit.

Hi, first of all you don't sound creepy at all- I like that because I'm not an embalmer but a sepulchral archaeologist I work with mummies and the dead of all kinds. So hello mate ;) And yes, I know the Hallstatt skulls, I've even worked with them.

I agree with your objections, but let me tell you, whalers were very good at taking whales and other animals apart and processing their bones. And with a surgeon on board, a clean opening of the skull was no problem, which by the way has been around since ancient times, albeit with saws.

Whether one was emotionally capable of removing the skull of a comrade, cleaning it and boiling it is another matter, and at that time the moral concepts were again very Christian and conservative, so it is difficult to imagine that one would have done this to a comrade, especially since what were the men planning to do? To bring the skull to the poor mother or widow and say - well, unfortunately he didn't make it but here's the rest of him, even decorated, you can put him on the fireplace, was nice to meet you ma'am have a nice day-. Not really - but well ... sometimes ... Well, let's not go there, it just sounds too weird.

It's hard to imagine, but collectors at that time had completely different ideas and walked over dead bodies (in the truest sense of the word) to get a great story and a great exhibit, even if they bought a skull and had it decorated by a Sailor or Whaler. So I assume the latter. But a good story sells well and brings in a lot of money. And the Victorians were strange as hell and very morbid, death was something quite fascinating for them and was already blooming in very weird ways. I'm just saying mummy unwrapping parties, memorials of the burial site made of hair and teeth of the dead etc.

[nyrhtak04]

One Week In

This is quite the rant, so bear with me. I'm using this post to process what happened.

So I go to a small, Christian, liberal-arts-heavy university. Most of my friends are queer, and all of us are neurodivergent. My brother was the token cishet neurotypical friend (as far as we know, anyway).

Some of us formed a movie-watching group. A lot of us grew up sheltered in one way or another (missionary kids and/or homeschoolers, restrictive parents, etc.) and so those who weren't decided to show us movies they liked but we hadn't seen. Also, we just wanted to laugh at dumb, campy movies like Twilight.

So by Friday of the first week of school, we had watched Twilight and Lisa Frankenstein, and some of us were in the middle of Totally Killer.

On Thursday, I drove my brother and some of my friends (all girls) to a small indie rock concert. We all had a great time, and we got to meet the band members and get pictures and signatures. They shouted us out onstage; it was awesome.

On the way home, we were all screaming about how hot the lead guitarist (a woman) was. We meant it in the aesthetic sense; even our straight friend was gushing about her. My brother was quiet.

I was only out to my queer friends. Up until this point, whenever he was with the group, we didn't usually talk about "gay stuff" since we weren't sure how he would react. And up until this point, he had never said anything. I was the only person in our group who could tell he disapproved, and even then, he only looked vaguely uncomfortable.

Friday lunch, we were all sitting together talking about the concert, what movies to watch next, and stuff like that. Some of my friends brought up that the band's lead guitarist dressed bi. I knew most of the cues, but the rings were new. This launched a conversation about how bi girls dressed, and our bi friend was cringing the whole time because she hit every stereotype.

As my brother came to sit with us, the conversation changed subjects. One friend may have said something about "never [having] met an aroace person before," but I wasn't sure how my brother interpreted that if he even caught it.

That afternoon, he and I were walking together, and he mentioned that he had looked up the movies my friends had suggested. He referred to said movies as "lesbian propaganda," which made me snort. He advised me against watching those movies, and I humored him. I told him that we could just watch something else. This had proven true in the past since one friend was not a fan of Lisa Frankenstein, and we had agreed to let her choose the movies we watched with her. Let her show us movies.

On Saturday, I called my best friend (who attends a different university) and discussed our first week of school. I was telling them about my friends; it was nice to have queer friends (they're queer, but also my only friend until I moved for college).

After lunch, I headed to the parking garage to drive across campus for a theater activity in which I was involved. As I walked to my car, I got a call from my dad. This wasn't super weird, but I would have expected him to text ahead. I had left lunch a little early, and had about 15 minutes before I needed to be at the activity, so I picked up.

He asked if I "had time to talk." This has never been a good sign, no matter how many times my parents get mad at me for being distrustful. (when have I been wrong about this? It's not pessimism, it's pattern recognition.)

I answered that I had an activity, but had about 10-15 minutes before then. He said that wasn't long enough, and asked when I was done for the day. This was REALLY not a good sign. I told him I had a good chunk of time starting around 4pm. He agreed we could talk then.

I pressed him for the topic of discussion. He eventually admitted that it was about "sexual orientation."

I hung up with him and called my brother. There was no reason my dad would want to talk to me about that unless my brother had said something. He had not spoken to me at all. There was no warning.

He would not tell me what he told our parents. The only response I could get out of him was "You're just going to have to talk to him," over and over.

I hung up on him.

I headed over to the rehearsals, my heart at least 130bpm. I did my best to keep it together, but I wasn't very successful.

All art students at my school are required to attend the art gallery openings (usually showcasing students or alumni). There was an opening that afternoon. I walked around the gallery for a few minutes, and while I could recognize that the show/pieces were beautiful, I couldn't really appreciate it.

I went to my room and called my dad. It was about half an hour before we had agreed to talk. But surely, sooner was better, right?

He was driving and told me that he would call me back "when we agreed" in an unnecessarily aggressive tone. Then he hung up.

At this point, I completely broke down. My roommate and one of our friends found me.

I explained that my brother had told our very queerphobic parents something about me but that I didn't know what he told them. I was terrified that I was going to get disowned.

They assured me that my parents weren't going to kick me out but that if they did, they (my friends) would ensure I had a place to stay over the summer. They assured me that I had family here and that they would take care of me if things went south.

My roommate stayed in the room when I made the call.

My dad started with the usual small talk, how-are-things-at-school deal. Once we were done with the niceties, he asked if I wanted to have this conversation on speaker, since my roommate had been interacting with us during the phone call. (Why wouldn't I? I had no idea where this conversation was going, and I wanted someone who could intervene if the need arose).

Apparently, my brother had told them that I was bisexual. Not because I had shown any interest in girls, but because I didn't hate my queer friends.

My parents had interrogated my sister, who gave up that I was asexual. I think she tried to explain biromantic asexual (since I had not come out to her as aroace; I had just told her that gender was not a consideration for me), but my parents didn't really grasp the concept.

Anyway, long story short, I clarified that I was not bi, but couldn't get out of admitting that I was ace.

My dad was cool with it, mostly. He assured me that whether or not I ever came home with a guy was none of his business.

He's not sure about the label though. Apparently, my mom is demisexual (in the proper sense of the word) (she would balk at the vocabulary though). My dad just thinks I'm like her.

Overall, it went better than I expected. My roommate did not have to intervene but occasionally touched the bedframe to remind me to breathe.

At dinner, I sat with my friends, still visibly distressed. I don't remember how the subject came up, but I decided to fill them in. It seemed appropriate, given that my brother had been talking (lying) about them behind their backs.

They were very upset, on both my behalf and their own. One friend walked over to my brother and told him that she would text him later. "You know what it's about."

After dinner, I went over to the theater event. It went well. My brother attempted to call me multiple times on the way back. I did not pick up, partly because I didn't want to talk to him and just because I was driving.

I went to hang out with the friends who had been accused in the "salem dyke trials." One showed me the text she had sent my brother after dinner. She called him out on his terrible communication skills and for completely taking away my choice in the matter.

We decided to keep watching Totally Killer to take our mind off the afternoon.

I got a call from my dad. I sprinted to go hang out with some other friends, because I could guess the nature of this call.

He asked how the theater event went. I told him. He asked me what I was doing now. I told him I was hanging out with some friends and we were planning to watch TBoSaS (which was true). He asked if the accused friends were there, too. I told him they were not. He asked if I had "told [friend] to text my brother." I had not, but I hadn't stopped her, either.

My brother, upon receiving the friend's text, did not respond to her. He forwarded it to our parents. He proved her point for her.

My dad asked if I had read the text. I played dumb, not sure how he had interpreted it.

He went on this rant about how my friend was manipulating and isolating me. I was astonished. Had we read the same text?

I explained that I wasn't picking up my brother's calls because I was pissed off at him for outing me behind my back. He had not said anything to me before going to them. This had nothing to do with my friend except that he had accused her of trying to turn me gay (or something like that).

My dad told me that my brother wanted to make it up to me. I said that I was not going to speak with him tonight. My dad encouraged me to at least talk to my brother in the morning.

I agreed to this and we hung up.

By this time, TBoSaS was not an option, so I went to hang out with the initial group.

We came up with a game plan for how I would talk to my brother the next day, and generally just verbally processed the situation.

I'll make another post about the next day because this one is already way too long.

[erisxdrifter]

Ok, so things pointing to Drifter being Christian… used to there was a gun you could get from Gambit, called Servant Leader, which I searched the meaning of. It means encouraging diversity of thought, creating a culture of trust, having an unselfish mindset, fostering leadership in others, and this is something I got in a search result,

What does servant leader mean Bible?

Servant-leadership serves others by investing in their development and well being for the benefit of the common good. Thus a good Christian servant-leader serves God through investing in others so that together they may accomplish a task for Gods glory.

Drifter has done things to help others without seeking a reward, like in season of plunder, he helped and told the Guardian not to give him any of the gold. And btw I believe Drifter is poor. There have been multiple times he’s said that he’s hungry, and he also doesn’t really have his own place to live. He pays rent to the Vanguard so he can live in the Tower, and he eats random gross stuff or has to steal food. He helped when the Pyramids first arrived, he helped deal with Eramis, and he also was trying to help Eido when she was upset at her dad for not telling her about his past, Drifter was trying to help her without bossing her around. He also once said to Spider, “I ain't the man to tell anyone what to do.”, showing that he does not believe he is higher or better than others, even though he is very powerful.

The Drifter has been fostering leadership in the Guardian, encouraging them to make the decisions, Drifter has been creating a culture of trust with Eris, he normally does not trust others or opens up to them, but lately he's been opening up and trusting Eris, which she really appreciated, and that means a lot because normally Eris is kinda sad and depressed about everything. Drifter has been kind and comforted Misraaks when he was upset because of how he’d done bad things in the past, and Drifter told him that what you do now matters more than what you did in the past. And another time Saint-14 said the same type of thing to Misraaks, and Drifter responded saying, “Amen, brother.”, and I don’t think that’s a normal thing for people to say in video games, but Drifter said it.

Drifter has also related to Misraaks, saying how everyone has something that keeps them up at night and has done something they are not proud of, and there have been times in the past Drifter did something that wasn’t great, but he obviously regrets it. And once Drifter lived in a village of people who didn’t have the light. He helped them to find food, but they didn’t know it was him helping, and he never told them. He helped them without seeking praise or glory, and instead another person in the village got the praise.

And used to, Drifter hated his Ghost, because it brought him back and Drifter was miserable and always starving to death and being brought back just so he can starve again or die some other way again. But then in a piece of lore, the description for it was, “Had a face like the end-times and eyes like manna in the desert. One look at him and I knew I wasn’t gonna be saved.”, which had nothing to do with the lore the description was on, but on that lore Drifter actually was being nice to his Ghost. So he made a drastic change from hating his Ghost, to calling it his friend. And he made a Biblical reference with manna in the desert, and who else would he be talking about besides God? Because who else is saving people? And I think that after that piece of lore Drifter became a much kinder person, to his Ghost and to others. Here’s part of the lore where he’s being nice to his Ghost,

Above him, the derelict descended. His Ghost flinched slightly as the ship’s engines kicked up a whirlwind of dust. Drifter cooed softly to his friend. “I love this job.”

And another part,

Drifter’s Ghost expanded and it’s eye went wide. It did this instead of laughing. It couldn’t laugh. “shut up. Shut up, you idiot.” Drifter waved his friend away.

And another thing. Drifter has had many different names, one was Eli, which is a Biblical name. And there’s a gun that seems like it was Drifters, and on the side of the gun is a picture of a crane. And I searched the meaning of the crane, and it represents balance, harmony, respect, immortality, grace, devotion, and the crane has been featured in Christian art for centuries (plus, cranes eat a lotta stuff in the wild, same with how Drifter eats all sorts of stuff, pointing to the crane representing Drifter).

So there is a lotta random stuff that points towards Drifter being a Christian. Anywho, if you read all this, thanks a ton and I hoped you enjoyed it :) Feel free to leave a comment on your thoughts, but I will just go ahead and say, I am not trying to get into a big argument. If you wanna have a discussion that's cool though 👍

[imapuppy5000]

Story about Vlk’s Backround and some of her time in hell. It’s a bit messy and jumps around a bit but it’s all I could manage.

Vlk

Vickey snarled in rage as the cop drew his gun. Mary had been shot already and had fallen back, leaving Vickey alone with the two officers. She held ‘her’ captive tightly by her wrist before making an inarticulate noise of fury and throwing the girl at the officers.

“There. F—kin give me my kid back!” She spat. “Both of em.”

The first officer pulled the teen behind her and directed her outside of the house while the other kept Vickey at gunpoint.

“You aren’t getting them back.” He growled darkly, eyes narrowed and body tense.

That wouldn’t do. “I am.” She sneered. In a moment her dagger was free from her boot and she was charging the officers. Two shots rang out, she dropped.

Her breathing was ragged for a few moments before it stilled and she went limp.

The new officer carefully crept forward and poked her with a foot while his partner kept her at gunpoint. She didn’t move. Their guards dropped slowly and the man lowered his gun. Vickey’s eyes flicked up. She grabbed his ankle and yanked him to the ground, slashing his throat with her knife. There was a boom and she blinked.

The world around her was a hazy red, a pentagram above. Around her were screams and gunshots and honking. It was all too much. Carefully she examined her surroundings and came to the grim understanding of where she was. Hell.

Hell was a lot like the world of the living: taxes, rent, overpriced apartments, jobs, the whole shebang. Sure it was a little more violent than earth was but she didn’t mind too terribly. She was a sinner, she knew it. With all the lives she had taken, things she had stolen, and people she had hurt, she knew her good acts couldn’t make up for it. But that was okay.

She fit in decent enough and had recently secured a job in a club, making a pretty penny dancing. She knew how to woo men and women alike, she knew how to manipulate people to get the most from them and these being degenerates only made it easier. After all, it was easier to convince a sex addict to blow some money on a lap dance than it was a good Christian.

Of course she looked different but the tail was nice to have (good for balance on the poles) and the fur hid a majority of her scars from life. The self inflicted ones did hurt now though, which sucked. Mostly because she could never feel pain so having it now was odd and uncomfortable. Luckily, new wounds or blows still didn’t hurt. The one scar that wasn’t hidden was on her back, it was new. She guessed it to be the exit wound of the bullet that killed her. She had another on her hip that was barely visible where one of the bullets had entered and (presumably) shattered her hip. The one lodged in her collarbone was hidden by fur: as were the ones Mary and victims had inflicted on her.

Along with her differing appearance she sported a new name, Vlk. She wanted to leave her old life behind her. She wanted to forget it ever existed. Mary, her partner and the love of her life, was immortal so despite their sins they wouldn’t be joining her down here. And Lilith, her adopted daughter and everything, was far too sweet to be sent down here. She’d be in heaven where she belonged. Layla would probably join her eventually but the two never got along and would probably stay their separate ways. That being said, she had no ties to the living and wanted it to be striped from her completely. New look, new name, new job… new life.

Speaking of her job she had recently caught the eye of a moth demon. He spoke in an accent that annoyed her and the way he talked to her was the way she talked to others she was trying to manipulate into bed. Even still she went along with it, played his game, and took the money he offered. The propositions to join him at his studio didn’t take all that long to start. He said she’d make a great actor. And she would. She acted with Mary all the time when the god wanted her. Her lack of being able to feel pain and affinity to blood was also a great thing to have with some of the kinks these demons had. He offered her a nice paycheck and, to sweeten the deal, a paid apartment. She happily took him up on the deal even if the apartment was sub par.

The movies were rough and she was bored of this but it wasn’t like she wasn’t used to it. Mary played these games too. She could suck it up. She made Valentino plenty of money, even not being the most popular she was the most versatile and could be used in pretty much anything he needed. The variety was nice, though not nice enough to keep her entertained for long. Sex was never something she liked all that often, even if she was good at it. And she was. She knew exactly what to do and how to cater to individuals, how to read signs and adjust based on them. She could easily figure out if someone was dominant or submissive with a simple conversation and, much like her partner in life, often used that to her advantage.

What she couldn’t figure out is why Valentino was so interested in one of the other actors, a demon named Angel Dust. He was probably the most popular by far. Vlk could understand the attraction but why did Valentino care for him so deeply? Why was he the favorite toy? For a few months Vlk had assumed the feelings were of jealousy, that she wanted to be the favorite like she was with Mary. But after a while she had come to learn that she didn’t care if she was the favorite. She’d really rather not be. What she was feeling was… concern? Concern for a grown man, a sinner, a willing pornstar. That had never happened before and it caught her off guard. Maybe it was because he so clearly didn’t want to do some of, if not all, the things he was made to. Maybe it was because he was trying to get better, something all the demons at the studio knew of and mocked him for. Maybe he reminded her of herself when she was helpless and scared. Whatever the reason she was concerned about him. Everytime he had to cover marks in makeup or the limp he so desperately tried to hide after a long night.. it all worried her. It made her angry? At her boss.

But dwelling on it brought up confusing feelings and she was never one to try and deal with those. She’d rather pop some painkillers or sleeping meds and just check out. Not that she had any sort of drug to ignore the happenings about her— they were too expensive and she was trying to avoid overdosing… again. So she didn’t get any. She just learned that if she went into work and worked full force she’d eventually forget her feelings. And when she was under a certain rough moth she tended to blank on those feelings too. She was quick to become a stand in for Angel. When the spider was at the hotel she was the one called on. She made a point of putting on a show, slowly drawing Valentino’s attention away from Angel Dust. When she saw the overlord was getting antsy and clearly yearning to sink his grimy little claws in Angel, Vlk would approach the moth seductively, keep his focus on her, and (unfortunately) eventually bed him.

Angel seemed relieved that he wasn’t used as often and his thankful face the first time he realized what Vlk was doing did make her feel a bit better about doing it. He had smiled. The first time she had seen him do so without his fake and gaudy persona. It was beautiful. She shot him a sympathetic smile back before the door closed and she was left alone with the stupid moth again.

Let it be clear: despite her not hating him, she did not like Valentino. He was everything she hated in a person but she couldn’t bring herself to feel that strong of an emotion towards him. She was indifferent to his existence. She’d rather he didn’t exist, sure, but everyone would rather that. Except maybe Vox and Velveete. She wasn’t special in that regard. Unfortunately, when the wall blew down and raiders rushed the studio Vlk was put in an interesting position that made it seem she had a lot more loyalty to her boss then she truly did.

Val had been with a young teen. A hellborne. Vlk didn’t like that one bit but she had been restrained before she could bite off her boss’s head. When the attack happened it was clear who the gangsters were going after and Vlk panicked. The teen, Harley, had been immediately thrust in front of Valentino as a human shield. She was vulnerable and terrified and that look… it was just a quick moment as they made eye contact and Harley seemed to beg for help. Vlk couldn’t say no to such desperation. She had leapt forward, form shifting in and out of focus as she dashed between the attackers and dispatched them one by one in a matter of seconds. Limbs were torn off, heads were the wrong way, and several fallen bodies had chunks torn out of them or bite marks littering their skin. When the noise settled and Vlk had calmed enough to return to her neutral form she had immediately rushed towards Harley and blurted, “Are you okay?!”

“Thanks to you I am.” Valentino had cooed, tossing Harley aside and grabbing Vlk’s face roughly. “You’re the only one that stayed to protect me. How sweet.”

Vlk struggled in his gasp but couldn’t pull away. Her eyes darted to Harley and she relaxed as she saw the teen slipping into a robe and mostly uninjured. Their eyes caught again. She was okay, if not a little terrified. She flashed Vlk a shaky, thankful, wave and skittered off, leaving the fox demon alone with Val.

A new proposal. Better pay. Less sex. She would spend most of her day acting as Val’s personal body guard and, on occasion she’d have to do a few movies. She accepted almost immediately. A body guard was a pretty nice job, if she had to say so. And getting to let off steam like that was an exciting prospect. The agreement was made but no deals were formed. Vickey had made a deal with a demon once. She knew better than to do it now that she was working with real and powerful demons. As a bodyguard she was working alongside a few hell hounds. But she didn’t mind that. They seemed alright. Another bonus was that Val had made Vlk to escort Angel to and from the hotel. She was pretty sure it was to make sure the demon kept coming back to work but Val insisted it was to ‘protect him’ and ‘keep other whores off of him.’

The reason this was a bonus? It helped Vlk get to know more about Angel and the hotel. She liked its premise. She liked that he fought so hard for betterment. She would ask his progress on their walks and encourage him when he seemed down. A few times she had carried him back to the hotel after particularly rough nights. He had complained at first but eventually just accepted it so long as no one from work or the hotel saw. The poor guy had fallen asleep in her arms once, grimacing in pain every time she jostled him.

The familiar circumstances were not lost on her but she had also promised to forget Mary and thus pushed those thoughts and feelings aside. She was just helping a friend. At least.. she hoped they were friends. She hadn’t really made any in a long time. Harley and her were getting there but the younger seemed a bit scared of her. Fair enough.

[i-didnt-do-1t]

For the writing prompts can I get uhhh

One lot of Elmer and JoJo being best friends please

I am fine with anything abt those two but if you need smth more specific I love the dynamic of Elmer being atheist and JoJo being Christian but they're still best friends

One lot of Elmer and JoJo being best friends and causing problems on purpose! Thank you for the prompt! I hope this is okay :D

“I have an idea.” Elmer said, and that sentence alone was enough to drag a groan out of JoJo.

It would be unfair to say that all the trouble they got into landed squarely on Elmer’s shoulders alone, but he could unload about a solid eighty percent of it to him. JoJo just wasn’t a fan of causing problems, primarily because he knew he’d get a lecture from the nuns when they inevitably got wind of it, which he could account to Jack apparently, based of the raised eyebrow and knowing smirk he gave him last time when JoJo met his eyes over the Sister McGonagle’s shoulder as he’d finished his morning coffee.

That was embarrassing, and he wasn’t due a repeat for at least another week or two but tryna keep Elmer in line that long was more difficult than the other boys gave him credit for. Davey had once called him an enabler but JoJo wasn’t sure what that meant so he didn’t think it was true.

Elmer was real persuasive when he wanted to be, and Jojo was easily persuaded. It was just a bad combination but one that was impossible to tear apart.

“What?”

“Well, y’know how Davey has a ma an’ pa n’ all.”

This was going somewhere it probably shouldn’t.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“I says we get ourselves invited over for dinner huh? I bet his ma’s a real good cook.”

Jojo frowned. “Ain’t you got a mother?”

“Well, yeah, but I also got a million brothers, ain’t like there’s alotta food left for me by the time they all gets to it.”

“That’s fair.” He had to concede.

JoJo weighed up the consequences, cuz it weren’t like they’d be doing anything wrong persay, maybe pestering Dave a little but that wasn’t anything the other boys didn’t do on a daily basis, nothing that either of them could get in trouble over.

“So what’s the plan?” He asked and Elmer grinned.

“We just gotta be real nice to him all day, maybe throw in a line or two about how we ain’t been to a friends house in ages.”

JoJo was unimpressed.

“You think that’s gonna work?”

“Definitely.”

JoJo stared at him for a moment, assessing, wondering why the couldn’t just ask him if they could come over (Dave was a real decent guy) but Elmer just smiled at him again before he spat in his hand and held it out.

“It’ll go great. An’ I heard his big sister makes dessert sometimes.”

And Elmer shoulda led with that part, cause really that was all JoJo needed to hear.

They shook on it.

xxx

JoJo knew that Elmer wasn’t the most subtle person he ever met but this morning he was laying it on thick, Davey had barely got his papers when Elmer, from across the distribution centre, decided to start enacting his plan. Loudly.

“Hey Davey, yous real smart y’know that?”

David looked up from where he was counting his pile of papers, and he wasn’t the only one either, Jack at his side instantly narrowed his eyes, and Racetrack took one of those long drags of his cigar, mouth curling up to a smile around it as he glanced between Elmer and Dave.

“Alright.” Jack said and moved toward them, dragging David behind him by the upper arm despite his protests characterised by an eyeroll and then acceptance of his fate. “I’ll bite. What have you done to Dave?”

Elmer put that look on his face, the one that was pretending to be offended, so obviously fake because they all knew what his real offended expression looked like when they made fun of his selling.

“What? I can’t compliment Dave without an uh-“ he paused. Jojo just stared at him.

This was a sinking ship.

“Without a- what do you call those things? The motivater or somethin’”

David raised an eyebrow. “An ulterior motive?”

“Right yeah that. I can’t compliment you without one of those?”

“Not in that tone a’ voice you can’t.” Jack interjected.

“What tone a’ voice?”

Ah this was Jojo’s turn to interject before he dug himself a bigger hole he wouldn’t be able to climb out of so easy. He winced a little and shrugged apologetically. “You do have a voice.”

The betrayal in Elmer’s eyes was almost enough to make Jojo retract the statement.

“I thought we was in this together.”

“Okay, in what together?” Jack said. “What are you doing?”

“Actually nothing.” Jojo said. “An’ I know you ain’t gonna believe me but it’s Gods honest truth Jack and I wouldn’t ever lie bout that.”

What could he say it was his duty to protect his friends from their own dumb ideas.

Jack frowned. “You wouldn’t.”

“Me neither.”

“We all know you don’t believe in God Elmer.”

“Yeah. Well. You gonna hold that against a guy?”

“Okay, whatever it is I want it done now alright.” He clapped a hand on David’s shoulder in a way that made him lurch forward a little and then accept it as Jack swayed him back n forth, it reminded Jojo vaguely of the cat that Elmer had found a couple weeks back and kinda just held, hands under his two little front arms as the rest of him hung, swinging gently. “Dave’s got exams comin’ up, he don’t need to be dealin’ with your pranks as well.”

“We would never.” Elmer said, indignant, and Jojo found himself nodding sombrely in a agreement, even if their last prank on David had gone off without a hitch and had left him covered in flour.

“Yeah.” Jack said, in a voice that meant he definitely didn’t believe them. “I believe you.” He swayed David once again who just sighed and let it happen. “I’d watch your back Davey, y’know what they’re like.” He concluded and slapped him once, with enough friendly force to jolt him forward again and then turned away, wondering back to Race.

David stayed stood in front of them, an expectant look on his face.

It was JoJo that broke the silence eventually.

“You’re like a cat.” He said.

He always liked saying what was on his mind, apparently Elmer wasn’t fussed on his honesty.

Elmer elbowed him, voice low and hurried, “Jo that ain’t a compliment.”

“Only if you don’t like cats.”

David just looked confused.

Elmer for some reason, kept talking, apparently trying to pull this back. JoJo had already given up the act of trying not to seem suspicious.

“You like cats Dave?” Elmer asked.

“I like cats.”

“Then take that as a compliment.”

“You sure you have no ulterior motive?”

“None.” Jojo said before Elmer had the chance, and grabbed his arm, because at this point it was best to quit while they were ahead and he knew it was ironic that arguably the least harmful plan Elmer had come up with in a while was the one that got them caught before they even got to actually enact any of it. “Anyway if that’s all Davey we real best be headin’ on, the nuns said they was expectin’ us cause I forget somethin’ in church n’ told em’ I’d finally drag Elmer with me and you really shouldn’t leave a nun waitin’ it ain’t proper.”

And then he was pulling Elmer away before David even got the chance to respond because this plan was a bust, and if he was gonna be petty about it, he never thought it was a good plan to begin with.

“You’re dumb.” JoJo said, as they shuffled their way out of the distribution gate

“You’re dumb.”

“You’re dumber.”

“I got a new plan though.”

For the second time that day Jojo groaned, he already knew what his answer was gonna be.

[gins-potter]

Are you all caught up on the OC finales? What did you think?

I caught up today! I thought they were fine to really good!!

Med was really solid. Surprising no one I'm absolutely heartbroken that Will is leaving but I'm glad he went out in typical Will fashion, had a really nice scene with Sharon at the end, and we got Manstead endgame. Liliana and Dr Charles are back together! They're so flipping cute, I love that for them. Dasher are doing Dasher things, I had to LOL when Hannah was like HARD NO about dating Archer and he was so offended. I think Med's gonna return to somewhat normal next season, probs the first half will be dealing with whoever buys the hospital and convincing them to turn it not-for-profit again. The only question marks for me are whether Maggie and Dr Song stay. I think if they continue to do O.R 2.0 things, Dr Song will, and I think they've left it a bit open for Maggie depending on Marlynne's health and what she decides. I was a little surprised they didn't address it more in the finale about the possibility of her leaving since the episode before made it feel like much more of a sure thing. A solid episode!

Fire was... kinda meh if I'm being honest. Like it's not unusual for me to multi-task while I'm watching tv, but I still pay attention to what's happening with the plot, but I was dicking around on my phone while watching Fire and kept realising that I was fully not paying attention to what was going on and kept having to go back and rewatch. Like, it just felt like lots of talking ha ha. I think where we go from here is super dependent on whether Taylor comes back next season or not. Feels like they're setting up Carver and Violet, which I'm not against, but haven't fully let go of Carver in his feels over Stella either, so if T.K doesn't come back and Stellaride break up (BIG IF NO ONE THROW TOMATOES) they might continue to pursue that as well. I'm more and more on the Stella/Carver train (NO ONE HATE ME) so I'm super fine with those angsty looks he's sending her lmao. Super here for the little friendship between Kylie and Ritter and very keen for Kylie to become the new candidate (that has to be where this is going). Sylvie's adopting the baby, yay for her I guess, I mean, like I said in another ask, I'm pretty sure I know this is heading for a Kara exit, which I'm not opposed to, so I'm just very.... okay? about this storyline. It feels rushed, but it's fine, and I get a Brettsey endgame (probably) so fine. And Mouch... maybe I'm stupidly optimistic but I don't think he's dying. I think Christian is leaving the show, but I don't think Mouch is dying. Idek why tbh. It's a bit anticlimatic if he does die tbh. Like he didn't even get shot, it was a random piece of shrapnel. Idk, I think he'll probs survive and then retire. Maybe I don't think they'll kill him because it would mean that PD also has to change Trudy's characterisation over on that show. Like imagine her husband dies and they never even mention it on PD 💀💀💀

PD was the best episode imo. The pacing and writing was great, even though I'd seen bits and pieces of it already online I still felt drawn in by it and I really felt the tension. I felt like Adam, Kim, and Kevin all got to shine. Hailey and Voight not so much, sad for Hailey, get fucked Voight. Absolute snaps for Kevin getting to shoot that racist mother fucker, and I know he's just a kid but lmao fuck Callum. Fuck his mum too and I hope she goes down for some of this shit. One of my only question marks is why Torres wasn't in the ep? I can't tell if it's a weird writing choice to keep leaving him out of episodes or if the actor has some sort of other commitment keeping him from being in every episode, but I feel like they either need to commit to his character being part of the team, or drop him and bring someone who will be around all the time. Burzek slayed as always, inject that moment of Kim on the phone and absolutely sprinting to get to Adam into his veins. Kim in the ambulance, and at the hospital, "Are you his partner", "You're with Adam" "I'm with Adam" yeah girl you tell that bitch. You ARE with Adam. I mean, as with every other Burzek shipper I'm annoyed that they clearly filmed a Burzek scene at the hospital and then cut it. I hope they release it as a deleted scene at some point bc I need it. I've seen the theory that they cut it because it shows Adam's alright and Paddy might leave the show.... I mean.... maybe? I doubt it. It's more likely they cut it bc the show has a hard on for Hank Voight and wanted to end on him. I think it would have been a better ending to end with Burzek because it would have been a really full circle, cyclical ending from where they started the season, and the episode, but, what can you do? I'm sure someone will write the fic. Still, despite all that, a really great episode and end to this arc.

Sorry, this got long but yeah, those are my thoughts. Med 6/10, Fire 4/10, PD 8/10.

[gndr-reading-responses-1-10]

GNDR Reading Responses

1. ) HEALTHY AND DISEASED BODIES

I oppose the debate over, whether healthcare should be a right or a privilege. The reason is I think the answer should be obvious. Healthcare should be a right, not a privilege because if you’re poor in America, you’re screwed for how much healthcare is here. There are many videos where people in Eastern Nations or just people who live somewhere with universal healthcare, judge America for how expensive healthcare is: they are shocked by the fact. This chapter also dives into illness and disability. People with illnesses and disabilities tend to be overlooked because they don’t fit the description of what a “normal body” should look like. This social construct is sickening to me. People with disabilities have accomplished great things. For example, Matt Klotz is an Olympic swimmer. Matt was born deaf, even with a disability he’s still accomplishing greater things than the average person. I’ve noticed that if people with disabilities are noticed they tend to be looked down upon, hated, or pitied. But why? My little brother has autism and I will be damned to let anything happen to him. A childhood bully in my grade would target my little brother, and what did I do? I made sure he didn’t talk about my brother ever again so I beat his ass (excuse my French). Imagine being hated by people for something you have no control over. I deem people with disabilities no less human than I am. I wish everyone had this mindset but unfortunately, that is not the case. However, my family is a special case. We knew my little brother was going to have autism even before he was out of the womb, yet we still wanted him. My parents are very religious and in Christian beliefs, those who are disabled are imperfect and are cast aside. My parents realized this belief was nonsense. We love Preston unconditionally. 

2.) AGING BODIES

Oh, where do I begin with this one? Let’s start with feminine beauty in comparison to masculine appearance. So, for women, they have to look young. I mean looking young makes you more attractive so why do we have this standard for women but not men? Many products alter a woman’s appearance like makeup. That is a big one—or even skin care. I see women hold themselves to high standards regarding their appearance. Sure it is nice to look nice - to present yourself in the best way possible. However, this mindset can also be damaging. Our body has natural responses due to hormone fluctuation. These responses can cause acne, pimples, and blackheads. I have gal friends who freak out when they notice something as minor as a singular pimple. This pimple would also be very unnoticeable unless someone were to point it out. They hyper-fixate on small things that could make their appearance “imperfect.” As men, we don’t worry about it. We simply have them and do not have a second thought about it. We can blame these social constructs revolving around women. In the modeling agency, they must present no wrinkles. Every model is young and skinny or puts makeup on to make the model look younger. It doesn’t stop there, even when you see models on billboards, posters, etc. If you were to look close enough you’ll see that the appearance of these women is modified by modeling agents. This is why women have these high standards for themselves. Males don’t have the same struggle because they don’t have these standards. For movies, the actress tends to be younger to fill in the role of an older person. For example, Mila Kunis was 16 substituting in a 18 year old role. Whereas every guy there was older than the actual age of their character.

3.) REPRODUCING BODIES 

This chapter is mainly about women reproducing and what they experience in different cultures, what rights they have, and also how men and societal norms affect the reproducing body. I want to talk about how women who reproduce in America experience menopause differently than women who reproduce in Japan. Here menopause is an issue for women. I thought this was an issue every woman experiences after childbirth, but I now see that it is not the case. In American culture, we view menopause as a scary thing for older women. We view it as a dangerous thing, so as soon as women stop menstruating they undergo hormone replacement therapy. In Japan, women experience hot flashes much less frequently. The severity of their hot flashes is also relatively low. Menopause is embodied as a biological and cultural blessing. Which is why women there are not medicalized for menopause. I find this fact very interesting because I grew up in a place where menopause is a common issue people face, so I assumed it happened everywhere.The book mentions that reproductive rights are more controlled by institutions and men rather than women themselves. I know this part is true. For example, some hospitals don’t give out birth control because they don’t want to and the right to an abortion varies by state. Since the beginning of time, it has been a societal norm that women should only have sex for the sole purpose of reproducing. Having an abortion is strictly forbidden. However, for men, they can sleep with whoever they want and get praise. The double standard is that women should save themselves for marriage and men can go around sleeping with whoever they want. How is this fair? If a son were to sleep with a girl, the dad usually is proud of the son, however, if the daughter were to sleep with a boy, the dad would get mad at the daughter. We should put restrictions on boys too. 

4.) RACIALIZED AND COLONIZED BODIES

Racism has been an issue for as long as anyone can remember. A big event in history is the Atlantic Slave Trade. During this time the Spanish were invading the thirteen colonies spreading the three G’s known as God, Glory, and Gold. During this time, those who were white took over other cultures and land imprinting their norms upon those people, and then enslaved them. In the Bible, a section describes the roles of white people and those of color. It said that white people were fallen angels who needed to spread God’s word and people of color have risen devils that require cleansing. Following this ideology is how religion influenced racism. After the Civil War in America, slavery was abolished. We were either the 14th or 16th major country that abolished slavery. Even with slavery abolished, racism was still a very big problem because everything was segregated. Segregation is essentially discrimination by actively separating a group of people from others. From segregated bathrooms to segregated schools. Those who were white would not interact with those of color. People of color were also placed in designated areas of every town and white people had the right to have a home anywhere else. These areas would typically be very poor. The reasoning behind this was to closely monitor their actions. It was believed that those of color commit more crimes such as robbery, drug use, and murder. People of color would also get paid less than white people so making a living was significantly harder. Along with police brutality where white people can get away with more crimes than black people. These are issues we still face today. Although these problems are reoccurring, we are slowly going in the right direction. More people are aware and speak out about this issue. 

5.) GENDERED BODIES

In today’s world, society has placed a set of rules and regulations based on gender. Still to this day, society thinks that gender and sex are the same thing when they are indeed not. However, I do understand why there is confusion. I don’t blame those who don’t understand because when it comes to gender, people like to make things up. So for example, being sexually attracted to inanimate objects is considered a “gender” to some people. I wish I was making this up but I am not. How are people supposed to believe about the importance of gender when they hear stories like that? Also, from my experience of education, there are three different views of sex and gender. Biology says that sex and gender are the same thing and that there are only two genders. Psychology taught me that sex and gender aren’t the same thing but there are only two genders except for non-binary and transgender. Sociologists say that gender and sex are not the same thing and that gender is a spectrum. If three different views are being taught then how can everyone come to the same conclusion? Anyway, the reason why people identify as something other than male or female is because they don’t like society’s expectations for their gender. For example, the man is typically the one who mows the lawn whereas the woman is in the kitchen making dinner. This is an example of many. So those who feel like they don’t fit society’s description of a male or female, feel like they need to form a label for themselves. This society also determines how you should look based on your gender. For example, women should have this “hourglass” figure. Seeing how society claims what you can or should be with your identity and body is why gender classification is important. Because not everyone wants to fulfill these standards rather than be themselves.

6.) SEXUALIZED BODIES

Going back to my “gendered bodies” response - I mentioned that a standard for women is this “hourglass” body figure. In class, we talked about Barbie representing what a woman should look like according to society’s standards. This body type is very unrealistic. It makes you think, what unrealistic body standard is placed on men? Shocker, it is nothing. Men have no shackles weighing them down. If a man is fat, he may have less respect but it’s fine that he is fat. If a woman is fat she gets called a whale. If a man has a dad body, society accepts that. If a woman has a little fat on her, she is told to lose more weight. If a man is nothing but muscle he is respected whereas if a woman is nothing but muscle it is not natural. Diving into the topic of intersex, many people don’t realize this is a thing. People think that there are only two sexes. Intersex is where an individual is born with both male and female body parts. When an intersex child is born, it is the doctors who determine its sex and gender. Later, this child will undergo surgeries to make it strictly male or female. Some people are aware of the existence of intersex but identify it as a disorder or a deficiency. Well, it’s neither one of those. If you call it a disorder, you’re implying that this condition affects their everyday life. Some studies prove that intersex doesn’t negatively affect bodily functions, though it may be a little different. A deficiency implies this is a shortcoming when it is not. The individual may experience a lack of testosterone but that can be treated. Intersex is very rare, but because is rare, it shouldn’t be looked down upon, it just makes the individual unique. 

7.) CLASSED BODIES

It’s hard to believe that body types are also indicators of class. I know what you’re thinking, how could body types be indicators of class? Well, in the past, those who were overweight were deemed wealthy. Typically they were because the wealthy were the only ones who could fill their stomachs with food. Because of their wealth, body type didn’t matter, in fact to some it was worshiped or even envied. Nowadays, being overweight is looked down upon. People who are overweight are deemed as disgusting and lazy. These classifications are given without a second thought. Without knowing what the individual could be going through. What if the person has an eating disorder or was born with extra fat in their tissues? Would their opinion change or stay the same? Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to that question. I just know that I don’t have that mindset and that’s all I care about in this instance. Being very skinny has the same identification as it did in the past. Many saw that being very skinny was an indicator that the person was poor. In the past, this may have been true because the only ones who could fill their stomachs were those with money in their pockets. Today’s classification isn't much different. There are mixed views on those who are very skinny. Back then it wasn’t attractive at all to be skinny but now some think it is very attractive. When you see a very skinny individual you think middle or lower class. Never have I heard someone thinking upper class when identifying very skinny people. But I think in the modern day we are starting to not assume someone’s class based on their body type. I never related body type with class. I see people of all body types in every class.

8.) BEAUTIFUL BODIES

We see all these models on billboards, signs, and other advertisements. We take a glance and say, “She’s beautiful” then turn away. Little did we know that these models are edited on these advertisements. Their faces are edited to be slim, their necks are longer, and they put more emphasis on detail in the eyes and collarbones. In the modeling industry, you don’t see many plus-sized women. We are just now being inclusive to plus-sized women. Usually, models limit what they intake and some don’t eat at all. A method to look skinnier is to not drink water. It makes you more defined than you are. This method is in no way healthy but is used for TV stars and models. In stores like Victoria’s Secret, the clothes are there to make women feel more beautiful. They don’t fit all sizes because they only fit “beautiful” women. To my knowledge, they don’t have any plus-sized clothing in stores. But did you know the person running Victoria's Secret isn’t a woman, but a man? Going back to Barbie, the cooperation-making Barbie is also run by men. Barbie and Victoria’s Secret have made major impacts on the market with their targeted audience being women. Girls would say they want to be just like Barbie because of how she looks. Victoria’s Secret sells very nice clothes that attract many girls to their store. With no options for plus-sized, women would get the urge to get thinner to fit into this clothing brand. What a coincidence that these two companies portraying high body standards for women are being run by men. Psychologists say with this overwhelming presence of beauty in our everyday lives it is hard for men and harder for women to find satisfaction with how they look. So boys, if you wonder why your girlfriend is asking what dress she should wear, it is because she has this high standard for herself to look pretty. 

9.) MODIFIED BODIES

Let’s start with tattoos. The meaning of a tattoo is to imprint. In Western society a tattoo symbolizes deviancy. In Western Society, Christian beliefs are very common. It is against Christian beliefs to have a tattoo. My argument to that is if we weren’t allowed to have tattoos then why were we born with birthmarks? In a way, these could also be classified as tattoos. I mean, they are imprinted on our bodies after all. The older generation has this common view of tattoos symbolizing deviancy, however, people get tattoos for a variety of reasons. Some cultures believe having a tattoo could protect them from evil. Most get tattoos because the tattoo has meaning. A common reason is the loss of a loved one. Just something meaningful to the individual is imprinted on their body. Some think tattoos are just cool and so they get them. I think the deviancy ideology of tattoos goes back to people in prison getting many tattoos. A person I know who went to prison for a few years for the use of marijuana - before prison, he had nothing imprinted on his body but came out with around twenty tattoos. Body notifications happen more than we think. Today, tattooing, scarification, piercing, body painting, and other forms of permanent and temporary body modification are found in every culture. Scientists discover that these modifications are used in ways to communicate, express, and maintain status and identity. Though some body modifications may be a little extreme such as tattooing your eyes are adding horns to your head - I think it’s looked down upon because we aren’t used to seeing it. If we saw these modifications more often I think it would be more socially accepted. I think this is why people with transgender status are looked down upon because undergoing the surgery of changing your sex is an extreme body modification. 

10.) RELIGIOUS BODIES

I do believe that most of these standards we have on bodies, gender, and sex are mainly from religious beliefs. As a gay man, I face trouble with acceptance daily. Either accepting myself or acceptance from others. As I get older, it doesn’t bother me as much because I have faced so much of it, however, when I was younger this struggle I faced was consuming me. I do think hatred towards homosexuality is more about ignorance instead of a justifiable reason. In the state of Ohio, religious hospitals can refuse healthcare to people of LGBT status. Going further into religious bodies, when it comes to women, it is said in the Bible that Eve is punished for tricking Adam into eating the apple. This sparked the ideology that women are manipulative and will tempt men into doing their bitting. This is why in some religions, women cover themselves up because if they don’t a man will be tempted by her. The Bible says women will face punishment for the eaten apple. Christians use this to explain why girls have periods. It’s so crazy to me because men are the manipulative ones. They created all these rules, regulations, and standards. We deem God as a man and guess what, he has every firm believer in the palm of his hand doing HIS bitting. Now that’s manipulation. When it comes to sex, sex is to be only between a man and a woman for the sole purpose of producing offspring. It is a sin to have sex before marriage as well. But sex can now be between people of the same sex. Actually, that was always a thing, it is more common now because it is more accepted in modern society. It could be due to more people turning away from religion, or people realizing that these rules are just obscured.