#ineptness

[anthonybialy]

Leaving Pete Hegseth on Read

Pete Hegseth emailed Packaging@DunderMifflin.com, not Packer.  This weekend, he will be texting nuclear codes to a booty call.  Punt the nuclear football through The Atlantic's window.  It sure was nice to let a rag he despises know what sort of explosive stuff we were up to in Yemen.  But a department with no defense couldn’t manage coolly playing off their colossal mistake, either.

This is why you should delete Jeffrey Goldberg’s number.  I’m already tired of giving The Atlantic's embodiment credit.  You know a situation’s bad when I’ll admit a Democratic operative at a dully snotty magazine improved his reputation though his involuntary involvement with a disreputable Pentagon.

You may know Donald Trump as the expert negotiator who prompted Goldberg to publish damning texts.  Claiming including the journalist revealed nothing unclassified worked great if you’re into technical victories.  But those don’t really count in war or blabbing details.  Not classifying information that should be is a strategy of sorts.  There was surely nothing more perilous than preferred pizza toppings in the discussion of just what terrorists were about to be sent to a place where they’re the only virgins.

Trump can’t stop hiring the best people.  I thought he loved firing bumblers.  But using his very clever catchphrase would require admitting he hired a putzing knucklehead in the first place.

Those who said the Fox & Friends Weekend co-host was unqualified extend their lead over those who noted he attended Ivy League schools.  Hegseth got a job several steps above proving the Peter principle.  Anticipating the middling skills he did possess would apply is like figuring the guy who couldn’t profit from owning slot machines in Atlantic City knew what he was doing when he picked a trade war.

We can at least thank Hegseth for inadvertently establishing that serving honorably in the military doesn’t necessarily mean he’d be a good secretary.  A noble infantry officer may not possess needed management skills like avoiding texting a Democratic flunky about what terror hovel is getting turned into rubble.

Trump’s volunteer excuse brigade really had to brainstorm when Hegseth was chosen over Sean Hannity.  They resorted to claiming he would be able to understand the plight of the common foot soldier.  Meanwhile, he just endangered them.

I wish we lived in a world where the White House accidentally texted peace plans.  This is where you applaud.  In this rather imperfect plane of existence, the executive branch is forced to do not very nice things to lunatic terrorists.  Careful employees could still treat their phones like it’s 3 a.m. and they want to tell an ex that they still feel love.

The people you dislike who caught you messing up must be hoaxers.  Using the Anthony Weiner defense is a nice touch from a self-identified embodiment of conservatism.  Attacking the publication to which they carbon copied is predictable, if nothing else.  And it’s nothing else.  

His boss didn’t disappoint, either.  The human algorithm that is the incumbent naturally blamed the publication his doltish flunky dragged into this.  Blaming the recipient after not checking who was chatting is an embodiment of nastiness paired with irresponsibility that entices committed followers.  The one thing that'll keep The Atlantic in business is a story about the White House texting them war plans.   The Ghostbusters issue is now their second-most famous.

Maybe playing semantics will help.  Those weren’t war plans: they were just details of who’s getting attacked.  The administration that speaks as clearly as it does boldly sure parses words a lot.

I have good and bad news for Hegseth: the department’s Deep Throat has been exposed.  It’s easy to find the leak’s source.  It’s harder to find someone to blame.

Accusations from awful people who hate your guts may nonetheless be true.  That’s why it’s important to behave, perform tasks adeptly, and not include a journalist you despise in a group chat about where and when to deploy bombs.  The White House’s staffers and defenders presume the libs are out to get them.  They are.  And that’s why you don’t give them a reason to be correct.

My first bit of advice for the executive branch is free.  I strongly suggest they stop doing things so ineptly that it gives liberal critics a chance to be right for once.  Congratulations to the Trump White House for making Tammy Duckworth right.

Alerting quite specific parts of the media is inexcusably sloppy regardless of party.  The simplest test for partisanship is seeing if the reaction would change by replacing names.  Imagine, say, Lloyd Austin texted details about his scheme for conquering Uruguay to National Review.  The inability to track phone numbers would be unacceptable no matter how amusing the scoop.

A perilous embarrassment doesn’t mean critics can’t also be guilty of posting secrets on the jumbotron.  Hillary Clinton is apparently bothered by the style of exposing information.  Let’s come together and agree that it’s bad to both include a not entirely neutral observer on a vicarious preview of pending attacks and use a homebrew server in a bathroom closet to send sensitive information pertinent to America’s well-being.

Two things can be simultaneously terrible, which is a point denied by each awful offending party.  Foes in a contest to see who’s more oafish insist only the other side would ever employ cloddish fools.

It only seems like a joke that the guy who sat on a couch with Brian Kilmeade is now responsible for protecting the nation.  The person who sucked up to Trump the most uncannily just happened to be the most qualified.  The worst part of the ensuing mortifying screwup is how predictable ensuing perilous capers are.

Hegseth simply couldn’t be a clueless blunderer; if he was, why would Trump choose him?  Oh.  The reality show president went with the morning show defense secretary.  Results are as expected.  You’ll hear about the next shameful lapse soon enough even if you’re not texted directly.

[noodles-and-tea]

Little Stan getting manipulated by Bill has excellent angst potential but consider.

Stanley just, keeps tricking Bill. Because Bill would definitely massively underestimate Stanley and how far he’ll go to protect Ford (like in the actual show). We also know Stanley has the street smarts between the twins and could absolutely tell Bill is full of it.

And because Bill would absolutely loose his mind if he kept getting foiled by a snot nosed eight year old that isn’t even supposed to be here

I like to think that he doesn’t even try that hard he just does not even care about bill

[apatheticsunday]

Fatherless Behavior

AKA "Danny Fenton is actually Batman and Catwoman's son. He likes his bio mother a lot more than his billionaire furry bio father, and Bruce is just trying to be a good dad to another surprise kid" prompt idea!

I like the idea of Madeline and Jack Fenton being good parents who love their kids so much. Maybe Danny still got zapped by the ecto-portal and died, but he immediately went to his parents and they helped him adjust to being Half-Dead. So, obviously, if he's old enough to die, he's old enough to be told the truth. Maddy and Jack adopted Danny from a woman named Selina Kyle, who's contact information state she's in Gotham City and willing to re-connect with Danny when/if he's comfortable.

Maybe Danny says he's okay, doesn't need to know who his biological parents are, because Maddy and Jack are enough for him. But it's also okay to be curious, right? He's like... seventeen or eighteen at this point. So, he says he's going to tour Gotham-U and maybe, possibly hunt down his birth mother if he has some extra time.

Fast forward to him standing in front of a very posh apartment complex, the doorman refusing to let him in, and he's incredibly embarrassed. There's an older couple coming out the doors. The older man looks like he's going to walk over, possibly intervene, so Danny just begs asks the doorman, "Can you please just call Selina Kyle? I'm her son."

And Bruce, who's having date-night with Selina, nearly passes out. Because under the bright lights of Selina's apartment lobby, this kid looks exactly like the perfect mix of Bruce and Selina. He's got his father's unruly black hair, Selina's catlike blue eyes, and has several dark freckles on his neck like Damian. So... this is a Not Great situation because Selina had a kid behind his back?? Selina's gripping his wrist like a panther with an antelope's jugular and says, "Not in front of the child, Bruce." And if there's one thing Batman is good at, it's keeping his cool (or pretending to).

They all end up in Batburger with Selina and Bruce looking comically overdressed while Danny's in ripped jeans and a NASA hoodie.

Selina is kind. She got pregnant and then Bruce was presumed dead (Batman's Time Stream incident lasted how long?? I feel like 9 months is reasonable, right?), and she wasn't prepared to be a single mother. She also hadn't wanted Danny to have a criminal for a mother ("Wait, what??"), but didn't feel comfortable aborting.

"Our relationship can be whatever you want it to be, Danny. I'm not trying to replace your mom. I'm just here to help if you want." She doesn't try to touch him, doesn't treat him like a kid, just speaks calmly and respectfully to him.

Bruce, unfortunately, isn't as tactful. He begins with: "And I have an extra room in the Wayne Manor. I can pay for your tuition at Gotham-U, get you a job at Wayne Enterprise, and introduce you to my kids. Tim would like you, you're about the same age-" before Selina shoves an elbow into his side. The damage is already done, though. Danny practically shoves from the table (after slipping two Batburgers into his hoodie pocket since clearly Mr. Money-Bags can afford it, the presumptuous asshole).

"I came here to talk with my mother, Mr. Wayne. I don't want your money or to be a nepo baby at your company." Danny snarls a sarcastic little thanks before hauling ass to his hotel, muttering about rude-ass rich folk.

(Selina, still at the diner with Bruce: Look at what you've done! You've scared our son off!

Bruce: Maybe if you told me I had a son, I could've been more prepared for a surprise visit!

Selina: Maybe if you stayed dead like everybody thought you were, you wouldn't be surprised that I had a son. You weren't there!

A squeaky noise can be heard. It's a waitress trying to quietly write on a whiteboard that says "Days Without a Wayne Argument". The tally is changed from 4 to 0.)

Anyway, I want Selina to be more like a Cool Aunt instead of a mom. She gets that Danny already has a maternal figure in his life, doesn't really want someone Mother Henning him, so she becomes a safe space for him to let go. Watches the Neil deGrasse Tyson docuseries, offers him wine during girl's nights, lets him rant about how unsure he is of the future without giving unsolicited advice.

Danny pretty much sees Bruce and is like, it's on sight, old man. Bruce sends an expensive telescope to his house. It gets sent back with a book that says "How to Know When to Give Up: For Dummies". Bruce tries to catch Danny while going to Selina's apartment and Danny screams stranger danger so loudly that Bruce is momentarily worried he accidentally accosted the wrong teenager. Danny makes a comment about "another billionaire frootloop wanting to keep me in his basement" and Bruce is even more concerned now. He responds with, "Daniel, I would not keep you in my basement." Yeah... that definitely didn't help.

Oddly enough, Danny is now also being harassed by Batman and his Bat Cult.

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

We The People are the problem, government is just doing what we elected it to do, which is stupidity!

Ya know this pending government shutdown is par for the course as a golfer might say, and because it's a routine happenstance!

Our American government has a chronic inability to follow its own appropriations process, and because they can't follow their own imposed Bipartisanship agreements.

In fact, in the five "decades" that the current system for budgeting and spending tax dollars has been in place, Government has passed all its required appropriations measures on time only four times, in 50 years!!!

So this is nothing new with the inept people We The People tend to elect to represent us,... probably because We The People are just as inept as our elected officials are,.......... I mean that's what the results of our governmental experiment have proved out,............. it takes one to know one,..... stupid that is!

We The People vote for people closest to our own ignorance, and we don't want anyone smarter than we are so we vote for the positive side of candidates, ignoring anythng negative that might suggest corruption.

So you might say we are represented to the best of our voting ability,......... which is mediocre at best, because we Americans are mediocre at best ourselves any more.

We are like the wealthy kid who has a Grifter dad who makes his money from suspicious nefarious means, and we see things only through rose colored glasses, having a tendency to see everything in a positive light, albeit an unrealistic light ignoring 75% of societies shortcomings.

Which means everything is Normal in America according to our own voting logic.......

Ya see,... in order for things to be different, better then they are, we have to do something different, and better than we have.............. and we aren't doing that,............ haven't for the last 50 years!!!

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[spacealligator]

12 year old Kakashi at Obito during training: you poor excuse of a shinobi, you goddamn idiot, you incompetent stupid piece of-

that same night: dear diary, today I tried flirting with Obito like Rin suggested, I think it went really well <3

[egophiliac]

Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point

(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)

Have a nice day !

you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...

(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")

all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.

(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.

(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)

[were-wolverine]

jason, coming back from the dead and seeing tim as robin: how could bruce replace me? how could he give robin to someone else?

dick, who created robin in honor of his dead parents and then had bruce take it away and give it to jason without even asking him:

[autumnblooms]

“Have you missed me, good messieurs?”

[crazygnomenclature]

Why do they do this?? PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHY!

Webtoon | Insta

Support on Patreon

[galactic-rhea]

kylo ren doesn't exist in my version of the sequels; the most concerning thing about him is that he apparently would rather spend time with literal dead people than his living family

[tip jar!]

[blairdii]

"bring cunty f1 back!!!" they wail, but can't even tolerate lando standing... up... for... himself... alright💀

[sugarcoatedrattrap]

[gihunloversunite]

[xenodruid]

[nogooddeetz]

is paul matthews really an asshole?

i saw a post recently that essentially said people should stop pretending like paul isn’t an asshole and that we’re allowed to like him as a character even though he is. i’m confused though. is he even that much of an asshole? because i’ve never thought so.

his reaction to the greenpeace girl is definitely mean/unnecessary but it was clearly a reaction to being embarrassed - i’m not saying that excuses it, just that it’s a common reaction. believe me, as someone who works for a charity organization i can say that every other person i talk to reacts like a real asshole. and they definitely make excuses.

aside from the greenpeace interaction though… is paul an asshole? he’s pretty straight forward, yes. but for example when melissa asked him about the softball league? all he did was say he didn’t want to participate, which is totally within his rights. same with bill’s invitation to see mamma mia. on both occasions he declined the offer and actually only said he simply didn’t want to participate when pressed for a reason (which i never understood why people do anyway). and in bill’s case he said he didn’t want to see a musical, not that he didn’t want to spend time with bill.

so, is paul really even an asshole? or am i (and him) just autistic?

[virginiathegray]

Watching creators across the internet yap themselves into hating this game for no reason is actually so sad