#incorrect simpsons quotes

[folks-just-call-me-orange-joe]

Store worker: would a “Reverend Lovejoy” please come to the front desk?

Timothy, arriving at the desk: hello, is there a problem?

Store worker, pointing to Ned: I believe he belongs to you?

Ned: I got lost

Timothy: I didn’t even bring you with me

[incorrect-anything-quotes]

Homer: Fine. I admit it, I still can't swim! I never took those lessons at the community pool.

Marge: Homer, you promised!

Homer: They wanted to put me in the beginners class with the little kids! I can't be swimming around with a bunch of five year olds! They can be so cruel when they sense weakness.

Bart: That's why on the first day you have to beat up the biggest one in the yard.

Lisa: Bart, that's prison.

Bart: Only if you let it be.

[oliverfan72]

Lisa: What time is it? Bart: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Bart: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Homer: WHO THE HELL IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Bart: It’s 2 am

[carl-casey]

Legs: Hey, Fat tony, have you thought about having children?

Fat tony: ...

Fat tony: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.

Legs: But we're not childr-

Fat tony, already distracted: LOUIE, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!

[incorrectspringfieldquotes]

Moe: Is there anyone here who's actually straight?

Lenny: *Tentatively raises hand*

Carl: *Pulls his hand back down*

[fan-ship]

Louie: Hey Frankie.

(Frankie punches Louie in the stomach)

Louie: What the fuck?

Frankie: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young. You're too beautiful.

Louie: What the fuck are you talking about?

Frankie: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.

Tony: See ya! (leaves)

Louie: I'm not pregnant.

Frankie: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes.

Louie : Je n'ai jamais été enceinte, Frankie!

Frankie: Are... you sure?

Louie: Yes I'm fucking sure!

Johnny: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

Frankie: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—

(Johnny punches Louie in the stomach)

Louie: Aw motherfucker!

Idk why i just see this on YouTube and I imagined this-

[egg4bread]

next character?

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Anyone know how we can resolve this conflict?

The batfam: *raise their hands*

Bruce: Without resorting to violence.

Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, and Cassandra: *lower their hands*

Bruce: Or childish name calling.

Stephanie, Duke, Barbara, Kate, and Alfred: *lower their hands*

[theocddiaries]

[The family are eating breakfast] Jason: Bruce, since I'm not talking to Damian, would you please ask him to pass me the syrup? Bruce [sighs]: Please, pass your brother the syrup, Damian. Damian: Richard, tell Todd I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat products. Dick: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, babybird? Jason: Bruce, tell Dick I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Bruce: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Damian, not Dick. Jason: …Dick, thank Dad for pointing that out. Bruce: Jason, firstly: you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said. Jason [grunts]: Damian, tell your father to get off my case. Tim: Jason, Damian's the one you're not talking to. Jason: ...That's it, go to your room! Damian: Why don't you just eat him, Todd? Jason: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all! Damian: That's it! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore! I am out of here! [Damian gets up and leaves the house by the front door]. Jason: …That's it! Go to your room!

[lieutenantfloyd]

Top Gun: Maverick as chaotic romantic texts

[queerryan]

*Court of owls is back and the batfam is trying to get inside to know what they're doing now*

Tim: Dick, you had history with the court, do you have anything that give us any connection to them?

Dick: sure let's see *open wallet and start picking up cards* I'm an Elk, a Mason, a communist, I'm the president of the gay and lesbian alliance...

...for some reason, ah here it is! Court of owls member.

[folks-just-call-me-orange-joe]

Ned (drunkly flirting with Timothy): well, hello there, you’re looking very

Ned: *takes off glasses*

Ned: blurry

[incorrect-anything-quotes]

Marge: Don't you ever stop to think before you speak?

Homer: I never stop to think about it.

[military-newsboys]

Rooster: I’m a moderate, peaceful and godly man, truth be told.

Mav: Just yesterday you threw a chair at Hangman.

Rooster: Yes. Which was a moderate, peaceful and godly compromise from the table I was initially planning on launching on that bitch.

[carl-casey]

*Legs is casually searching around the room* Frankie: Hey Legs, what’re you looking for? Legs: My will to live. *Louie walks into the room* Legs: Oh, there it is.

[incorrectspringfieldquotes]

Skinner: I once had a haircut I deeply

regret.

Bart: Is it the one you have now?

Skinner: No.

Bart: It should be