#incorrect quotes superstore

[ironmanfridgemagnet]

Y/n : I have something big to tell you.

Amy : You know you can say anything to me, Y/n. You've been like a child to me, and there is nothing that you could say or do to dent our impenetrable bond.

Y/n : I'm dating Marcus.

Amy : Ew. You're dead to me.

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Cressida: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry-

Penelope: It’s not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me.

Penelope: And it’s not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

[incorrectbatfam]

Diana: Clark, what was it you were complaining about yesterday? Remember?

Clark: Yeah. Why are our villains so ugly?

Bruce: No, how the Justice League keeps us under forty hours so they don’t have to give us benefits?

Clark: Oh, right, yeah. That sucks too.

[wildlyincorrect]

Glinda: We’re not leaving this room until we figure out this whole will they-won’t they, Kermit and Miss Piggy thing we got going on.

Elphaba: Wait, sorry, am I Kermit, or…

Glinda: Yeah, because you’re smart with skinny legs, and I’m Miss Piggy because I’m a star.

[i-only-see-daylight]

Manon: Elide, your husband, Lorcan, is a loser, Aelin and I both agree.

Elide: You do?

Aelin: No, uh-uh, I never called him a loser!

Manon: Sorry, I’m the one who called him a loser. Manon: Aelin called him a clown.

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

Anakin, on his communication device: Come on, what would you do if you were me?

Obi-Wan: If I was you, I would’ve killed myself years ago.

Anakin:

Anakin, tearing up: *voice cracking* Why do you even bother calling-

[angelofthenight]

Vance: We're not leaving this room till we figure out this whole will they, won't they, Kermit and Miss Piggy thing we got going on.

You: Wait, sorry, am I Kermit or…

Vance: Yeah, 'cause you're smart with skinny legs and I'm Miss Piggy because I'm a star.

[foolilazuli]

Klavier, talking about Apollo: I think there might be something there

Ema: How? Like literally, how? You just met him

Klavier: 1.He’s super cute, 2.He loves the law

Klavier: …I realize I don’t have a lot of boxes to check

Ema: Yeah, no surprise there

[bwaybby09]

During a Tornado Warning:

Les: What do we do if the tornado hits us?

Spot: Uh, what do we do if the tornado hit us? I'm not sure, maybe get blown away by it?!

Race: No, no, you hide under a doorway.

Katherine: No, no, no. That's an earthquake.

Davey: Actually, they say you're not supposed to do that anymore.

Albert: Who cares what they say not to do for something that's not happening.

Jack: They say that you should go towards the eye of the storm.

Spot: Where’s the eye of the storm, Jack?

Jack: I don’t know…

Spot: That’s what I thought.

Crutchie: Tell someone you trust.

Jack: No Crutchie, that's only if the tornado's molesting you.

*bonus*

Race: Okay, this is just a drill! Everyone grab a clutch buddy!

(Race grabs onto Spot)

Spot: Oh, get off me! No!

Race: Hold on to me!

Spot: Get off me!

Race: I am saving your life!

Spot: I don’t wanna be saved by you!

[blingblong55]

Can we vote?-141

Asian-American!reader

reader has been complaining about the upcoming American elections, and is annoyed that asians can't vote

A/N: superstore reference...

Price: and with tensions rising in America about the elections, this mission will be hard

Gaz: hey, we've got our own American 'ere maybe they can give us an insight

R/N: oh I can't...

Soap: why not?

R/N: I wish Asians were allowed to vote..

Kate: what?

R/N: I really don't get the whole basement thing--

Ghost: hold on-- wait a second.

Price: what are you talking about?

R/N: yeah I know it's a democracy. One person, one vote-- oh, unless you're Asian American, tell me why that is?

Kate: I don't know that I can

Gaz: are you-- R/N, you're an American citizen, right?

R/N: just 'cause im asian, I can't be a citizen?

Ghost: not what he meant, mate

Kate: occasionally, parents bring their kids into the country illegally, and then, they don't even tell them that they're undocumented

R/N: well, that's not me, I have the documents. I went to the green card store personally

Soap: the what store?

R/N: yeah, they sell knockoff bags, bootleg Spiderman DVD's

Kate:...sweetheart...I don't think that's right...

-cuts to R/N calling their grandma--

R/N: Grandma, naalala mo ba 'yong binili natin dati para sa 'kin?(Grandma, do you remember the one we bought for you before?)

R/N: So 'yong green card na 'yon, counterfeit?(So that green card, counterfeit?)

R/N: So, ibig sabihin hindi ako American citizen? (So, does that mean I'm not an American citizen?)

R/N: At pureed na nating panoorin ang spider man legally sa Netflix? (And can we watch spider man legally on Netflix?)

R/N: well I'm fucked....

[ironmanfridgemagnet]

y/n, tending to Marcus’s infected leg : How would you rate your pain?

Marcus : Zero stars would NOT recommend

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Eloise, holding a crying Auggie at arms length: Hey, listen to me. You’re out of control, okay?

Eloise: You’re a baby. Your life is not that hard.

*Auggie cries louder*

Eloise: YOU’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF!!!

[bellabrady]

Buck: Look, Eddie is not my soulmate, okay? Yes, fine, when he first started at the 118, years ago, I had a liiiittle crush on Eddie. There, I said it, okay? Are you happy?

Eddie: Exactly! And at one point I had a crush on Buck and that's all in the past!

Buck: Exactly! Wait...what did you- when did you...?

Eddie:

Buck: Yeah, no, nevermind, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Because if- even if we...because it...with the timing and everything, it's-

Chimney: *gasps* He didn't know!

Ravi: Do you still love each other??

Buck: Wh- what? No!

Eddie: No! We've never- we...we've moved on!

Buck: Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And....you know...and it...it- anyway, it doesn't matter, because we've all...you know. And besides, you know, I'm with- I'm...I'm with, um-

Tommy: Tommy.

Buck: I'm with Tommy! Yeah, no, I know your name. Obviously!

Chimney: Eddie didn't know that Buck didn't know! And now Buck knows that Eddie knows-

Marisol: We fucking get it, Chimney.

[wildlyincorrect]

Glinda: I say this with love. It’s crazy you haven’t been murdered yet.

Elphaba: I know.

[the-black-bulls]

Asta, hyping up the squad to exercise more: Getting 10,000 steps a day reduces stress, it lowers your blood pressure and increases your lifespan!

Gauche: Yeah, I don't care. I don't plan on living past 30 anyway.

Noelle: 30? You're, um, you're under 30?

Gauche: What?

Noelle: Nothing. Wow. [to Asta] I'm in, I don't want to look older than my age in my twenties.

Gauche: What?

Noelle: Nothing, nothing.

[autisticzenitsu]

Obanai: Mitsuri, you do know your Cute-Cat-A-Day-Calendar is a week ahead, right? Mitsuri: I get curious!