#incorrect quotes jason todd

[heavenlyangeliq]

Batman “You became Just as bad as he was when you killed him”

Red Hood “You did it first when you spared him and let him kill much MUCH more than I just did. You let so many people die because you couldn’t kill one. I saved God knows how many people by killing him, and that I can live with.”

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

[ahfrickenfrick]

vicki vale: and what do you have to say about the rumors that Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person?

12 year old, newly appointed robin, jason todd: ??? that would be really weird cause i’ve literally seen them kiss before??

bruce: *in the Wayne tower, popping up from his paperwork* …something just happened…

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Bruce: Today I realised I'm old

Clark: What happened?

Bruce: I fell in the kitchen and instead of laughing, all my kids came running to see if I was ok

Clark:

Bruce: I saw fear in their eyes

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[demonicsuffrage]

Tim, abruptly standing up in shock: Wait, I just realised that Damian will graduate highschool in 2032

Damian, rasing a brow: Yes, ofcourse? As I am currently in fourth grad-

Jason, spitting out water: What the fuck? 2032?

Steph, pointing accusingly: That's not a real graduation year you made that up!

Dick: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

Duke, with his head in his hands: Does anyone else feel both their feet in the grave? I graduated this year!

Dick: Feet? More like my entire body, I finished high school years ago!

Cass: Guys I think Bruce is crying

[rosie321go]

Jason walking into the kitchen, whistling and looking suspiciously happy: Another day, another slay

*later that day

Dick: have you seen the news? Apparently someone killed the Joker

Tim:

Tim: Oh, he was serious?

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

The Batfam: …

Dick: .. only one?

[batfamgalore]

I counter your “Dick is old” statement with the batbrothers constantly being reminded of how young he actually is.

“Ask Dick, he’s ancient.” Jason says. A week later Jason saves a terrified grad student from a kidnapping and the guy tells Jason he’s 25. And Jason’s like what. But you’re a kid?!

“I was 25 when I adopted Dick.”

“What?!” Everyone says! “That’s so young, you can’t be a dad at that age that’s insane!”

“Dick is 25.” Bruce responds and they’re all horrified.

*Dick is in the hospital and Jason and Tim are trying to figure out his insurance situation when Bruce walks in and tells them them that Dick is still on his plan since he’s not 26 yet.*

I just feel like they don’t understand how young Dick actually is and they tease him so much that sometimes they don’t even realize that he’s really still so young. (I obviosuly don’t know the accurate ages of everything, but just saying).

[heavenlyangeliq]

“Honestly You’re starting to piss me off”_ Hal Jordan

“I piss off somebody every time I get out of bed, you’re not special”-Jason Todd

[thefriendlyneighborhoodqueer]

i’m so sorry but i just saw a post about duke’s eyes glowing and now i NEED to see fanart with jason and duke, the Glowing Eyes Bros TM

i’m picturing them on a midnight snack run in the manor kitchen, but just chilling in the dark

Bruce, getting back from a late patrol, wanting a midnight snack, can tell someone’s in the kitchen but it is pitch black : ….

Bruce : Who’s in here?

Jason and Duke :

[everwalldigan]

To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

[definitelysome1]

Tim: do you guys ever think about the fact that we’ve all hated someone here at one point?

Jason: what the hell are you talking about?

Tim: well, Dick you hated Jason when he first became Robin, right?

Dick: uhh, yeah I guess?

Tim: and Jason, you hated me when you came back from the dead.

Jason: I mean sure. I mostly hated B for replacing me and I took it out on you. But sure

Tim: I hated Damian when he first became Robin and he hated me

Damian: hm

Dick:I guess I see where you’re going, but what about Duke? He’s out of the loop isn’t he?

Tim: no. He hated you.

Dick: WHAT? You hated me Duke? Why???

Duke: you’re a cop dude… you know I hate cops

Dick: oh yeah i totally forgot that

Jason: HA! Get wrecked goldie

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Tim, sprinting into Jason’s room, sticking in all directions, looking around with wide eyes.

Jason, on his bed reading a book: What the fuck are you doing?

Tim, quickly looking behind him and back at Jason’s bed: If he asks I’m not here.

Jason: What?

Tim, sprinting so fast he trips back and slides under semi under Jason’s bed. He doesn’t quite make it all the way through, instead having to awkwardly shuffle under: I’m. Not. Here.

Jason: What the fuck.

Dick, dressed in a suit but with a long worm-on-a-string around his neck: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?

Jason, immediately pointing under the bed.

Dick, grabs something and yanking it out: FUCKER. WHERE ARE MY TIES.

Tim, already struggling: YOU GAVE ME PEPSI. I ASKED FOR COKE.

Dick: I HAVE A MEETING TODAY.

Tim: SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SOONER BITCH.

Jason, turns another page.

[fanaticalthings]

Jason Todd with his goons:

[demonicsuffrage]

The justice league sees Batman periodically updating a database of his, at the oddest of times, and naturally they think it's got something to do with his contingency plans or a dataset about the Gotham rogues, but in reality it's just him keeping record of his many children's changing tastes

Superman: Woah, he's writing down with such concentration, wonder what could be in there, maybe a new villain in Gotham?

Bruce, writing: "Dick has refused his favourite Pb&J five mornings in a row. Delete from favourites. Ask for new favourite food."

"Jason didn't seem as Eager to read the new book by his favourite author, put it in neutral category."

"Tim chose a green shirt instead of a red one at the mall today. More research needed."

"Cass listened to arctic monkeys on repeat this week. Update to favourites."

"Duke expressed an interest in slam poetry and called band practice lame. Put poetry in favourites and band in neutral."

"Damian watched Bluey for a total of 50 hours this week. Update to favourites."