#incorrect penguins quotes

[violent138]

Nightwing, stalling: "How much are we worth?"

Slade, checking the bounty: "All figured... about two hundred bucks."

Nightwing: *wheezes*

Red Hood, outraged: "Two hundred bucks, that's it?! After all the shit we've pulled, a lousy two hundred bucks each?"

Penguin: "That's two hundred for both of you."

Nightwing: "Are you crazy? Slade, don't take it. You could do better."

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: Tell me something I don’t know.

Tim: Without mucus, your stomach would digest itself.

Jason: Tell me something else I don’t know. Something less... disturbing.

[confused-wanderer]

Dick: Hey guys what’s up?

Damian: Silence! this is a debate I intend to win.

Dick: huh?

Jason *eating popcorn* : You’re gonna wanna see this

Tim: BY FAR IT IS ONLY LOGICAL TO ASSUME-

Steph: LOGIC HAS NO PART YOU’RE JUST BIASED

Jason: They’re fighting over who was the loosest cannon Robin which caused the most chaos

Dick:

Dick *reaches for popcorn*

Jason *slaps his hand* : Nuh-uh Goldie only the one with the title of MOST CHAOTIC ROBIN gets to eat popcorn

Tim: YOU ARE A LITERAL ASSASSIN WHOS TRIED TO MURDER SEVERAL PEOPLE

Damian: REMIND ME OF YOUR BODYCOUNT?!

Dick: what now-

Drake: THAT WAS BARELY ANY AS ROBIN

Steph: Dudes I was literally Robin to piss off my dad and became friends with poison ivy and Harley

Jason: You’re all just competing for second place

Dick: .. wait what about me?

Everyone *stops and stares*

Damian: Nightwing, this is serious

Tim: Yeah dude I remember your reputation as Robin and you haven’t changed

Batman: .. are you all done with the bust?

Steph: BATSY! Just who we want to see! So.. tell us, who was the most chaotic robin ever

Batman *without hesitation* : Nightwing

Penguin *tied up after the bust* : Yeah it was blue

Damian:

Tim:

Steph:

Jason:

Dick *steals popcorn* : Y’all better start putting respect on my damn name

[super-marvel-dc]

Bucky, holding a rock: Y/N just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock."

Thor: If you don't marry them, I will.

[whats-those]

Gotham (Nygmobblepot) + text posts part 10!

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 11] [part 12] [part 13] [part 14]

[zootopiathingz]

Deleted scene from @jell-o101’s comic

[batfamgalore]

*Bruce just said something morally insane*

Dick: Bruce, the more I learn about you, the more I’m convinced you’re the Penguin.

[emolionsrawr]

buck: *slams his phone down on the table*

bobby: what's wrong kiddo?

buck: well chris' favourite animal at the moment is penguins and i was googling penguin facts so i could tell him about them when me and tommy take him to the zoo on saturday

bobby: and that made you slam your phone?

buck: well as i was googling penguin facts i found a picture of their mouths... bobby they have teeth going all the way down their throat, well actually it's not teeth like we have them they're backward facing flesh spines that help guide the fish down

bobby:... what the heck?

buck: yep! it looks terrifying! but a fun fact i did find was did you know the earliest penguin fossil was found in 61.6 million year old antartic rock! about 4-5 million years after the mass extinction of the dinosaurs waimanu manneringi stood upright and waddled like modern day penguins, but was more likely in the water, some fossil penguins were much larger than any living penguin today, reaching 4.5 feet tall!

bobby: oh wow, i think chris is gonna love that fact kid

buck: they also release air bubbles from their feathers which cuts the drag on their bodies, allowing them to double, and triple their swimming speed and quickly launch into the air

bobby: that's amazing buck, what else did you learn?

buck: well-

*alarm rings*

buck: damn it, tell you in the engine dad! *runs to the engine*

bobby:

bobby: did he just-

eddie: yeah, he did

bobby: *tears up*

[tangents-within-tangents]

The Bad Batch as Penguins of Madagascar Quotes

Bc I’ve seen a few posts making this magnificent comparison and both of these squads are near and dear to my heart and bc I need a distraction from the s3 premiere ahhh

Tech: *mission relevant info* Hunter: Tell me something I don’t know! Tech: Without mucus your stomach would digest itself Hunter: … Hunter: Tell me something else I don’t know…something less disturbing

Hunter: (to Caleb) It's okay, kid. We're not going to hurt you Crosshair: *cocks his gun* Not true, Hunter, they did authorize lethal force

Wrecker: *absolutely decking his bros* You pillow fight like a bunch of little girls!

Crosshair: What part of "zip it" eludes you?! The "zip" or the "it"?!

Echo: I don't mind saying it, that guy vexes me. *narrows eyes* He's a vexer.

Hunter: Boys, no training tonight. It's game night! Tech: Trivia! Let's play trivia! I dominate trivia! Omega: Oh! Can we play Simon Says this week? Tech: Yes, Simon says we play TRIVIA!!

Crosshair: I find reason tedious and boring. We'll use force.

Echo: I'm sorry, boys. I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown Tech: No doubt

Hunter: Oh I’ve seen accident prone, try Wrecker and Crosshair! With a Chandrilan lantern! And SIX BOTTLES of rocket fuel!! Tech: Worst talent show ever

Hunter: There's no such thing as too paranoid, Omega. Remember that, and forget you ever heard it!

Tech: SCIENCE! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!?

Omega: I have an idea! But I'm not sure how safe it is Wrecker: I like it already!

Crosshair: *while fighting* You cannot win, Hunter! I am fueled with a boiling hate! A raging fury! Hunter: And a babbling mouth! *slaps him*

Omega: No! I swore I’d never use my adorability as a weapon again, and I meant it!

Echo: Wrecker, cover Omega’s ears, I intend to use my angry words

Tech: This red line shows the frustration level of a really smart person forced to take orders from some dunder-brained boob. As you can see the frustration just keeps rising and rising and rising. I mean, why don't they put the smart guy in charge, huh? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE, PEOPLE! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!

Wrecker and Omega: *run in making incomprehensible panicked noises* Hunter: Anyone catch that? Echo: *nonchalantly interprets it exactly* The Batch: … Echo: What? I’m fluent in panic

Tech: Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.

Cody, in his one episode: I believe now I know why “volunteers” ends in “tears”

Hunter: No batcher gets left behind, that’s why! Wrecker: What about Crosshair? Hunter: Okay, one batcher gets left behind Omega: and Echo? Hunter: Maybe two batchers get left behind Tech: Um… Hunter: *groan* Comparatively few batchers get left behind, okay?!

Omega: I thought you agreed this was a dangerous weapon! Wrecker: Which is the best kind! What good is a safe weapon?! Tech: He has a point

Hunter: Avert your eyes, young Omega, you’ll never be able to unsee this! Tech, recording bc that’s his freaking hobby: Don’t worry about it I’ll burn you a dvd!

Crosshair: *standing outside the Marauder* Hunter! I have brought you a hand drawn greeting card! It says “Roses are red. Posies are green. Sorry about Bracca, I was too mean. Your pal, Crosshair” :) Hunter: *walks out and shreds the card*

Hunter: Get up here. That’s an order! Tech: *salutes* Permission to defy order? Hunter: Permission denied! Tech: Then I deny your denial (sorry)

Echo: *watching Hunter and Wrecker, captured and surrounded by stormtroopers* Well this hardly seems fair Echo: *jumps in a walker and defeats them easily* Told you it wasn't fair

*Phee and Tech kiss* Omega: *eyes being covered by Hunter* awww Wrecker: Finally!

[starwarstrashy88]

Hunter: I don’t think you’re fit for duty right now, Tech

Tech: *sleep deprived and concussed* Flibbertigibbet man. I’m as juxtaposed as the next hamburger *falls flat on his face*

[incorrectbatfam]

Selina: Reasons why Halloween is the best holiday?

Ivy: You're not obliged to visit your relatives.

Crane: You're not obliged to get gifts for anyone.

Harley: People will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than Halloween.

Cobblepot: It's the only day where it's socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin.

[fairybonesandstardust]

luffy: i made you something (offers law a heartfelt gift he made)

law emotionally stunted: it’s fucking ugly kill yourself

law: SHAMBLES

-

shachi patting law on the back: ok and what did you say?

law sobbing: i told him it was ugly and to kill himself and then i ran away

penguin and bepo:

shachi: ……..sorry captain but i don’t think you can come back from this

law wailing loudly

-

zoro: he said that to you?

sanji shaking his head: and to think i fed him

luffy cackling: torao’s just a little shy

once the straw hats figure the “whole” story. they all just sorta take pity on law, he’s the most pathetic human in existence at this point. nami hugs him and tells him its going to be okay and sanji offers him food ever five minutes and brings him the pretty little drinks just like he does for the girls. zoro offers to let law nap with him (the highest honor on the ship. he’s very warm and comfy) law has no idea what happened

[chibieggplant]

Law: Okay I have a plan, but I need some help…

Bepo: *spins the wheel with all the crew members names on it* Penguin it’s your turn.

Penguin: Dammit.

[whats-those]

Gotham (Nygmobblepot) + text posts part 6!

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12] [part 13] [part 14]

[celaenaeiln]

Dick: *calling in from the Antarctic after a magician magicked him there* well, when’s the fastest you can pick me up then?

Tim: I notified Batman and he’s already on his way. His ETA says 2 1/2 hours. Can you hold on until then?

Dick: Hmm? Oh. Yeah. I can. I’ll just talk to Brutus.

Tim: Brutus? Is there someone else with you?

Dick: Yeah. Brutus just stole Caesar’s egg.

Tim: Egg?? What egg-wait. Are you talking about…penguins?

Dick: *continuing* oh and she just hopped into another nest. I’m gonna name you Guinevere so...that’d make you Lancelot. Aw, poor Arthur looks like he’s gonna cry. Huh. That’s a pretty fast waddle there, Merlin.

Tim:

[headcanonthings]

Goon #1: Word on the street is that you’ve gone soft, boss. Oswald, frowming: Is that so? Goon #2: We would never say such a thing. But we’ve heard it a time or two. Oswald: We’ll see how soft I am when I snap someone’s— Ed: *walks in upset, holding two halves of his question mark cane* Ed: Batman broke my cane. Oswald, immediately stops frowning: Hey, hey, it’s alright, sweetie. Let’s go buy you some new ones, okay? Goon #1 & #2: *cough* Softie. *cough*