#incorrect myth

[mtolympusmemes]

Artemis: Ladies, it's time to stop "weaponizing" your looks and time to start wearing actual weapons. Forget winging your eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man and invest in some steel toed boots

[aaronofithaca05]

Me and the Girls simping around the Ithacan royal family as they pass by our beach, (conjuring ways so they stay united and the Telegonh doesn't ocurr)

Aaron: odysseus

Titi: Telemachus

Mads: Penelope

I rest my case

[mytholympus]

Zeus: I heard you were talking bad about me.

Hera: Do you want to hear it again or did you get everything?

[sayangrafayel]

MC: Can you keep a secret?

Sylus: Do you know anything about my life?

MC: No I do not. Good point.

[inflamedautistic]

Achilles: Mom, I'm going out to kill Hector.

Thetis: Not dressed like that you aren't young man!

Achilles (now in the shining suit of armor forged by Hephaestus): Better?

Thetis: Yas Bitch slay!

[mer-acle]

Reality TV girls night on Olympus:

Artemis: Can we not watch a straight dating show for once?

Athena: Can we not watch a dating show for once?

Aphrodite: :(

Hestia: Girls, find something that you all like.

Athena: ...Dating but with stupid games in between is fine.

*they find a show to watch*

Hera: I swear if this fucker cheats on her I will flip the table.

Demeter: Oh gods they have children the poor babies :(

*The couple fails spectacularly at a stupid game and scream at each other*

Athena: That was so dumb I am so close to a war crime.

Aphrodite, crying: You are always close to a war crime!

Hestia: What's wrong, honey?

Aphrodite: They're terrible to each other! I want them to be healthy and in love!

Artemis: Like I'm saying, fucking men.

Hera, downing another glass of wine: You are so right.

Athena: To be fair, they are both absolutely useless.

Artemis: APOLLO I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!

*The door tumbles open and Apollo and Ares tumble in.*

Apollo: You never invite me for this stuff! I love Reality TV!

Ares: APHRODITE WHY ARE YOU CRYING, WHO HURT MY LOVE?

*Aphrodite points at the couple on screen*

*Ares smashes the screen*

Athena, massaging the bridge of her nose: Every fucking time.

[mytho-maniac-108]

Greek army: *breathes*

Nestor: Back in my day-

[sarnai4]

(Ares enters an area, staring at a flower in his hand.)

Athena: Why do you have that?

Ares: Aphrodite put this on my armor. I don't think it fits with the whole fearsome look I'm going for.

Athena (pausing): She might want you to give her one in return.

Ares: Weird. If she wanted a flower, she could've just kept this one. She does silly stuff sometimes. Yesterday, for instance, she said I looked hot. Of course I did. I'd been training the soldiers all day in the blazing sun. Helios won't just take a few days off.

Athena:...

Ares: Before then, she said she was cold, but it was still really warm out. I gave her my cloak and she looked disappointed for some reason.

Athena (starting to look worried)

Ares: Last week, she asked if I wanted to go back to her place, but I told her that Sparta was waaay closer.

Athena: Are you really going to make ME say this?

Ares: Say what?

Athena: I think she likes you.

Ares: I mean, I figured she wouldn't hang around so much if she hated me.

Athena: No, Ares, I mean I think she likes you...(gags) romantically.

Ares:...no, that can't be it. You know my reputation around here. She doesn't feel that way.

Athena: Haven't you noticed her trying to kiss you?

Ares (shocked): I thought she was making funny faces!

Athena: Well, this isn't my area, so I could be wrong. Go ask her.

(Ares runs off and returns.)

Athena: So...

Ares (panicking): She likes me!

Athena (awkwardly): Good for you I guess.

Ares (still panicking): What do I do now?!

Athena (also starting to panic): Why are you asking me?!

Ares: You're the goddess of wisdom!

Athena: Not romance!

Ares: I've never been on a date!

Athena: Me neither!

Ares (trying to calm down): Okay, okay. Here's a question you can answer. Would it be wise if I went to Aphrodite, pretending to ask for a friend--

Athena: Don't do that.

Ares: I could disguise myself as Dionysus instead.

Athena: This is a bad plan.

Ares: Or Hestia. That would really throw her off my scent.

[chimera-tail]

Artemis: *concerned* You know those things will kill you, right?

Athena: *pouring another glass of wine* That’s the point.

Ares: *smoking a cigarette* We’re trying to speed up the process.

Apollo: *nods while eating raw cookie dough*

[bruciemilf]

Matt Reeves has the potential to give us the funniest comedic duo with Martinez and Bruce.

Martinez, bored out of his mind, sipping on his Barbie ice coffee: Gun to your head, would you rather kiss Joker or Riddler?

Bruce, who wanted a barbie drink too but was too awkward to order: Gun to my head? Pull the trigger

Martinez: wh E E Z E

[sungodra]

Achilles: Go big or go home!

Patroclus, with tears in his eyes: I'm begging you, Achilles, for once in your life, please, just this once, go home

Achilles: I'm going big

[mtolympusmemes]

Hermes, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Artemis: You did WHAT– Apollo: William Snakepeare

[lenaleviosa]

*Achilles arriving in the underworld*

Achilles: “Where’s Patro-“

Hades: “FINALLY! ACHILLES- a word please”

Achilles: “Sure, but could you tell me where Patroclus -“

Hades: “Look around”

Achilles: “I am, but it’s so crowded in here, I can’t see him”

Hades: “Exactly!”

Hades: “A 10 year long war was already bad enough, but then you had to go and murder 10 000 people in one day???”

Hades: “Frank over here - who you gracefully pierced with your spear btw - has been standing in this exact same spot for three days because I’ve got no place to put him!”

Achilles: “So I’m guessing you’re not going to help me find Patroclus, then?”

[mytholympus]

Apollo: I think I’m bi

Hermes: Which one?

Apollo: What do you mean?

Hermes: Bisexual? Bilingual? Bipolar?

Artemis: I know! A bitch.

[miifu666]

Wukong : so you're saying i will be able to properly defeat THE heavens without a scratch AND the jade emperor if i agree?

Suklha : oh of course, theres a price to pay for it though~

Wukong : hmm... Sounds fishy, no loopholes tho! Right?!

Suklha : nopee~!

Wukong : okay deal, so when are we gonna start?

Suklha : Wha?

Wukong : you said as long as you have my first born child, now when do we start.

Suklha : .....??????

Artwork ©️ Miifu666

[athenas-sw0rd]

Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.

Achilles: I never considered you at all.