#incorrect miraculous quotes

[miraclechatbug]

*s1*

Chat Noir: Cause you're pretty and your smart, and you're ignoring me, so you're obviously my type

Ladybug, *who was distracted*: I'm sorry– what were you saying?

Chat Noir: Purrfect

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Y/n: What are you doing here?

Chat: I could ask you the same question.

Y/n: I live here. This is my house.

Chat: I should probably ask you a different question.

[gg-ladybug]

Unsolicited Miraculous Ladybug Headcanon: Adrien Agreste doesn’t know how to properly pronounce his own name. Sure, he SETTLES with one, but on a theoretical level, he has no idea with what intention he was named with.

Mind you, it’s not even because of anything nefarious— he just had two very different nationalities for parents. The French and British pronunciations were used interchangeably, because Emilie and Gabriel often argued on a daily basis about how Adrien is ‘supposed’ to be said. (Have you ever seen an Englishman and a Frenchman argue about culture? It’s thermonuclear.)

Ah-dree-uhn vs Ay-dree-uhn is a battle that has been waged within the Agreste household for years

(Based on a very real conversation I had with a English-French person named Adrien on my trip to France)

[ramen8008]

Chat: Hey Rena, do you dare me to-

Rena: Nope

----

Chat: Viperion, do you dare-

Viperion: I really don't

----

Chat: hey M'lady, do you dare-

Ladybug: Absolutely tf no.

Chat: but whyyyy

Ladybug: [sighs] what is it ?

Chat: do you dare me to catapult myself off the Eiffel tower and see how far I can land?

Ladybug: .... [Looks around]

Ladybug: the others are gone right?

Chat: hm hm

Ladybug: and no one will know that I was a part of this and that I allowed this behavior

Chat: yup

Ladybug: because we don't want them to see me as someone who goofs around, right?

Chat: [nods] absolutely, we don't

Ladybug: ....

Ladybug: let's compare whether you can catapult further or can I throw you further!

Chat: HELL YEAH!

[dame-chat-blanc]

Marinette: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Chat: I saw you.

Marinette: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Adrien Agreste in a banana costume.

[a-flaming-idiot]

Chat Noir preparing a cataclysm: "The Eifel Tower is going to be demolished!" Ladybug: "Au revoir et bon debarras, espece de connard triangulaire!" Zoe being a dumb American: "What?!" Kagami with her translater app:

[the-glass-is-actually-full]

Marinette: You're my partner, my best friend, and the love of my life. I hope you know I would do anything for you. Absolutely anything. Adrien: I want you to get a full 10 hours of sleep. Marinette: Absolutely not.

[miraculously-incorrect]

Chat Noir: my name is Chat Noir, but you can call me...

Chat Noir: *removes sunglasses and throws them away to reveal another pair underneath*

Chat Noir: a hazard to society

-

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Modified Incorrect Miraculous Quotes

Chloe: "Ah, China! Soon enough, Adrien, I will have my dream of going to China! The land of geishas!"

Adrien: "That's Japan."

Chloe: "Land of miso soup!"

Adrien: "That's Japan."

Chloe: "Land of cherry trees!"

Adrien: "That's still Japan."

Chloe: "Ah, China."

Adrien: "But why do you have to win a trip, Chloe? We have plenty of money."

Chloe: "Oh Adrikins, It's not about winning, It's about BEATING a bunch of other people and making them LOSERS! Utter losers!"

Chlone, Chloe's clone with the same moral caliber: "Keep dreaming, lesser me! That trip to China is MINE! The land of the samurai!"

Adrien: "That's Japan."

Chlone: "Of Mt. Fuji!"

Adrien: "That's Japan."

Chlone: "The land of French Fries!"

Adrien: "That's... Belgium?"

[9-long-years]

Shady bug and Claw noir *literally trying to kill each other*

Chat noir: I don't care what anyone says, that's still better than our dynamic when we first started.

Shady bug: What could be worse than this??

Chat noir *pointing at Ladybug*: I had a crush on her and I made that very clear, but she did not reciprocate, which she made very clear. The awkwardness was so palpable in the air you could cut it with a knife.

Claw noir: Oh wow, that is worse.

[simp-ly-the-best]

[miraclechatbug]

Marinette: Sorry I’m late, everyone! I broke down on the way

Mylène: Oh no! Is your scooter okay?

Marinette: ... What scooter?

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Chat: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.

Y/n: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

[ninadove]

If anyone knows where that audio is from…

[ramen8008]

Chat: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Marinette : You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Chat: .....Mr. Crow

[monarch-maelstrom]

Hawkmoth: I’ll destroy you and your boyfriend Ladybug!

Ladybug: Boyfriend? What boyfriend?

Hawkmoth: Chat Noir..?

Ladybug: You think me and Chat Noir are dating?

Chat Noir: I wish

Hawkmoth: well yeah all of Paris does.

Ladybug: But you’re our archenemy. You should know basic information like that!

Chat Noir: *wheezing*

Hawkmoth: Well it’s not my fault you two are so affectionate.

Ladybug: Most of the time it’s to defeat the Akuma!

Hawkmoth: You could’ve easily just wiped Chat Noir’s lipstick off when you were fighting Dark Cupid. You didn’t need to kiss him.

Ladybug: I WHAT?

Chat Noir: Pfft

Hawkmoth: I mean I guess kissing him is one way to remove lipstick.

Ladybug: *dying of embarrassment*

Chat Noir whispering to Ladybug: so are we going to fight him..?