#incorrect bruce banner

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony: Bruce you can't keep coming up with excuses so you don't have to go to boring meetings

Bruce: You know I have... stress issues

Tony: And? So do I, so do half the Avengers

Bruce: Okay well yours haven't caused 531 million in damages

Tony:

Tony: Yeah I'll just tell them your grandma died again. Three times the charm

[i-a-q]

Bruce: Did you replace all the lab notes with memes?

Tony: Maybe.

Bruce: You think this is funny?

Tony: *grinning* A little bit, yeah.

Bruce: You've been around Peter too much...

[ironrad]

Clint who just learned a new game from his kids:

Clint: Alright guys we’re all going to pass the phone around and say who we’d warn someone about before coming to the Avengers compound

Clint: I’ll start. Personally, I would warn people about Tony because I never know what he’s up to in that lab…

Nat: What are we doing? Oh ok, I’d warn people about Peter. He acts innocent, but I see right through it…

Tony: You want my honest answer? Steve. Next question-

Steve: Um maybe all of us because we have powers and can be dangerous when crossed.

Steve: That wasn’t the question? Ok, fine, I’d warn them about Queens. He scares me sometimes…

Bucky whispering: …Peter.

Sam: Why did you whisper that?

Bucky: He’s always listening.

Sam: Yikes, anyways, I’m gonna go with Bucky.

Bucky: Hey-

Bruce: Hi! I’m Bruce Banner, and I think I would warn people about Peter and Tony. Alone they’re both trouble, and together they’re a train wreck, but the good kind. Hang on-

Peter: Oh EZ, I’ve seen this on Tik Tok. Mr. Stark, no questions asked. That guy is everywhere all the time. I can’t get shit-

Steve: Language.

Peter: Sorry! I can’t get anything over on him.

Happy: Peter and Tony.

Thor: Ah, yes, hello. I would warn them of ME.

Thor spinning his hammer and chugging a keg:

Stephen: Tony. I try to avoid him at all costs.

Pepper: Awe thank you for including me. I’d warn them of my husband and his teenager…sometimes I need an extra warning.

The Avengers watching back the footage:

Tony: I’ve done nothing but be a pleasant member of this team.

Peter: Yeah, sounds about right.

[brutashasblog]

Bruce & Natasha sees Y/N coming into the kitchen with no shirt on. They question him.

Bruce: Y/N, where your shirt?

Y/N: (nervously) in my room.

Natasha: What going on, sweetie? Are you hiding something?

Y/N: I-uhh

Rogue: Sugar, is breakfast ready- uhh hi Doc Banner and Ms. Romanoff.

Bruce: You dating Rogue?

Y/N: Well we find out that I’m immune to her power and then we start dating. Please don’t be mad.

Natasha: me and your dad are not mad, we just want to be careful.

Y/N: Thanks Mom and Dad.

[skylarinfinity]

male reader : [teaching morgan chemical] so this sodium, sodium is like a hulk highly reactive explodes in contact of water ['whisper' to morgan] hulk hate bathing.

bruce : [hearing this] what's hulk have to do with this-

male reader : [holding beaker that contain chlorine in it] this is chlorine really deadly gas but when you combine sodium and chlorine you get the harmless sodium chloride [give morgan the beaker to hold it] it's using for food preservative and flavouring agent! you know it's like when hulk calming down with natasha lullaby-

bruce : what-

morgan : [clapping her hands] this is easier to understand than daddy explanation!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[incorrect-wandanat]

Bruce: *coughs*

Wanda: For the last time, Natasha is taken!!

Bruce: I didn’t even-

Wanda, dragging Nat away: TAKEN!

[broadwayfan92]

Natasha walking into the kitchen: “Bruce what are you doing?”

Bruce: “Making chocolate pudding.”

Natasha: “It’s 4:00 in the morning. Why are you making chocolate pudding?”

Bruce: “Because I’ve lost control of my life.”

[i-au-a-q]

Evil!Tony

Bruce: You’ve built doomsday weapons?

Tony: *grinning* Yeah, just in case.

Bruce: Just in case of what, Tony?

Tony: …In case I decide to take over the world, obviously.

[irondadspiderson4evr]

Avengers on a mission:

Bruce: Well, that went good!

Steve: Yeah, surprisingly.

Rhodey: It’s… too quiet. Now that I think about it, the whole battle was too quiet.

Tony, holding up his hand in the front: where’s the kid.

Pan over to Peter who is playing with puppies he saw halfway to the battle.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Steve: So does anyone have any healthy stress outlets?

Tony: Screaming.

Natasha: Violence.

Bruce: Tea.

Clint: Also violence.

Steve: …Okay, so we’ve got tea.

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony: Steve sunvbitch, throwing everything away, didn't even keep his sad assassin after breakin my heart for em

Bruce: Tony I'm really not that kind of doctor

Tony: *pushes away glass and starts drinking whiskey straight from the bottle*

Bruce: Oh god I really wish I was that kind of doctor. Um, bad Tony! No! *hisses*

[i-a-q]

Bruce: You don’t solve problems by hitting them.

Thor: That’s where we disagree.

[chaxan08]

Steve: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.

Bruce: Weight loss? Drink water.

Tony: Clear skin? Drink water.

Natasha: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

Everyone:

[brutashasblog]

Y/N seeing Bruce in his lab to talk about Laura.

Bruce: Y/N, No you are allowed to date Laura.

Y/N: But Dad, I love her and I want to be with her.

Bruce: You should know about my history with her dad Logan.

Y/N: But.

Bruce: The answer is No. if you ask your mother the something, she will say no.

Nat comes in.

Y/N: Mom, I want to date Laura so will you allow me—

Nat: No, ask your dad about his fights with Logan.

[skylarinfinity]

bruce: that’s a bad idea, m/n.

m/n: oh no it's not bad idea it’s a terrible idea, but i have faith in myself and us [smile at bruce]

bruce: that's doesn't make it better...

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket

[incorrect-wandanat]

Bruce: Sorry, I lost my cool for a second there.

Wanda: Can’t lose what you never had.