#inconsistency is my one (1) talent

[usernameyettocome]

gorlfriends

[icanseethefuture333]

(18+) Pick a tattoo 💉: Receive a message from your next intimate partner 🤤🥵😈

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Dead Wrong by FEMM

Bedroom by Mabel

Thank u, next by Ariana Grande

The Devil, King of Cups, Five of Pentacles, Justice, & Queen of Cups

For the next person you'll be sexually intimate with, it seems that this is going to be a person from your past. This could be an ex or fwb you've been on and off with. You're tired of them emotionally, but sexually, this person is familiar to you. You know you can be with someone else that makes you happier, but you don't wish to start over and explain the ways you want to be touched. I believe this person love bombs through sex 😅. They dote on you and kiss different parts of your body. They love to praise you - "You're doing so good for me right now, is this all for me?". They also enjoy aspects of BDSM (tying someone up, being degraded, etc). There is a inconsistency here when it comes to experiencing pleasure or orgasms. Do you disassociate, pile 1? What is going on? I feel like you have to just lay there and for your partner to use your body to get off. You deserve to feel pleasure, pile 1! Please don't feel afraid of speaking your mind or say what gives you pleasure or doesn't. If this person is not satisfying you in anyway you do not have to stay with them. I feel like you don't wish to give them anymore of your energy. It's as if you wish to say goodbye through sex. I don't see this connection lasting long with this person and the partnership will be short term. There seems to be a big issue with emotional intimacy. You and this person need to heal your trauma regarding romance. This relationship will be a karmic lesson for you both in order to grow.

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

Wine Pon You by Doja Cat (ft. Konshens)

Shady Lady by B.A.P

Moonlight Chemistry by Jeff Bernat

The Hanged Man, Nine of Cups (reversed), The Emperor, The World, & Two of Pentacles

Are you a virgin, pile 2? Or perhaps inexperienced? I feel some of you have never been able to have a orgasm before or haven't had someone give one to you. There is like trouble with you getting there. Your next sexually intimate partner wishes to change this! They are so focused on making you feel sexy and feel good. Your partner wishes to have slow and sensual sex with you 😳. "We can take it slow if you need to, I can go all night if that means you need to cum 🖤" phew 😮‍💨! I feel like if this is a man, they have a big dick or they have big dick energy. If they are a woman, then their pussy feels heavenly. Regardless of their sex (or gender), they know how to please you in the bedroom. Their preferred position is missionary, they want to look into your eyes as they fuck you 🙈. Your partner wants to give you the world, pile 2 or make you feel like you're the only person in the world that is special to them. As much as they are a giver, they love to receive also, I'm getting strong switch vibes. They could like for you to ride them or give them head 🥴.

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Web by 070 Shake

Me & U by Cassie

Ur Best Friend by Kiana Ledé & Kehlani

Seven of Swords, Four of Cups, The Sun, Two of Cups, & Queen of Wands

MY QUEER PILEEEEE 👅🌈🖖🏽💦! I am heavily getting wlw vibes for this pile. Your next sexually intimate partner could be someone who is of the same sex~ 👀. If not, they are someone who is androgynous in appearance or is in touch with their feminine/masculine side. They want to eat you out/suck you off soooo bad 😩. I feel like when you meet this person you're gonna know that they're attracted to you. They have a strong sexual aura or they naturally ooze confidence. Your partner is gonna talk a lot of game. "You wanna come home with me? Nobody else here is gonna be as interesting as me." You could meet them at a club or at a bar. This person is talented with their fingers 🥴. You could have a fetish for their hands and they could have a fetish for your feet. They have long fingers or veiny hands. If you're into it - you desire for them to choke you and they want you to know they'll willingly do it 🤫. Pile 3, your partner fantasizes about fucking you with your legs up in the air or with your feet over their shoulders. They are very attentive to what your likes and dislikes are. They could get you flowers the first time you have sex? Or put flower petals on the bed. They are very cheeky but sweet 🥺🥰!

Pile 4:

Shufflemancy -

Fuqboi by Hey Violet

Caught in a Lie by Fatima

Novacane by Frank Ocean

The Hermit, Nine of Wands, Five of Swords, Six of Wands, & Three of Pentacles

I am channeling the lyrics "Do you love me baby? I know you love me baby, yeah I cheated on you but do you still trust me baby? Have two kids now you stuck with me baby"

This is toxic as hell 😭. I feel like your next person you have sex with is going to be someone that your partner knows. There is a lot of cheating involved here. You have given your partner many chances and will be fed up when they lie to you again. This person could be a a rival, nemesis, or enemy of your partner. Is it your ex?! A friend of theirs?! Whoever this third party is, You will decide to get your lick back from all the damage your partner has caused and decide to move onto the next best thing. You have been attracted to this person for a while, but avoiding them because of your loyalty. "When you are done with them, come see me, I'll take care of you." Your partner will feel so betrayed when they find out you and this person are having sex but you will feel the most free that you have ever had thanks to this third party. This person wants to pick you up when you fuck. They could be taller or stronger than you. There is a obvious size difference. Possible threesome as well? 🥵

Pile 5:

Shufflemancy -

I Wish You Loved Me by Tynisha Keli

Dope Lovers by DPR IAN

Beauty And A Beat by Justin Bieber (ft. Nicki Minaj)

Eight of Cups, Five of Cups, King of Pentacles, Ten of Pentacles, & The Moon

Oh wow your next sexual partner is down bad for you, pile 5 🥰! They are literally head over heels for you. They wish to tell you "I love you" but they are nervous about moving too fast in the relationship. Your partner overthinks too much. You and this person could just be fwb or in the talking stage, but they will want to take this relationship to the next level. They could stay up late at night thinking of you, they just get so soft at the thought of your name 🥺 d'awww so cute 🤧. When you both have sex, you and this person could cum a lot 😳? Squirting 💦? It's just very watery and emotional lol, maybe you or this person has water sign placements (Pisces ♓️, Scorpio ♏️, Cancer ♋️). They could be more submissive during sex, but overall they are a giver. They will do anything to fulfill your desire during sex. Omg I'm sorry but this person will cum a lot 😅. Please use protection if you don't want to get pregnant or have a child because you or this person are very fertile. They wish to have a family with you. This is honestly my baby maker pile 🤰🏽. They like your boobs/chest. They want to nuzzle their head into your chest as you fuck them or they fuck you. I am channeling the lyrics from the song "Forever My Lady" by Jodeci:

"We fell so far in love

Now our baby is born

Healthy and strong

Now our dreams are reality

Forever my lady

It's like a dream"

You and your partner could have dreams of each other. There is a telepathic connection here. Are you manifesting them? Or vice versa? This is so passionate lol. I have a strong feeling you will end up marrying your next intimate partner. Their energy is very shy but romantic 💕

Pile 6:

Shufflemancy -

Sweaty by SAAY (ft. Crush)

Good Kisser by Usher

La Luz (Fin) by Kali Uchis

Three of Cups, Temperance, Death, The Lovers, & Four of Pentacles

There is such an emphasis on lips, pile 6! They are obsessed with your lips! Oral fixation 👄? Your next sexual intimate partner fantasizes about making out with you. Smooches with a nice amount of tongue, nothing too invasive or aggressive lol. They could like when you have makeup on and your lips look more plump 💄💋. They think you're a fantastic kisser and whenever your lips press against theirs, it's like they are under your spell. You have the Poison Ivy effect on them! You could meet them through friends or while you are out with your friends. It is going to be some sort of celebration or party going on. Wedding, graduation, reunion, cookout, etc. You could be very artistic or creative and your partner finds this attractive about you. They like to watch you do your makeup, get dressed, or paint/make art. Your partner wants to have back to back orgasms. Overstimulation? Channeled lyrics: "Bumps in the night got me, got me over here overstimulated" - Overstimulated by Jhené Aiko. They enjoy deep penetration 😳. Your sexual partner is very intense lol. They want your bodies to be touching each other and feel every inch of you. "Say my name for me baby, matter fact - scream it." They get so possessive over you. This pile is making me my cheeks burn 🥵! They want to pin your wrists down. Backshots? Omg- pile 6, your partner is going to have you moaning so loud that your neighbors will know their name 😅. The next day will be giving coat and sunglasses like the Wendy Williams meme. You might feel embarrassed about it but your partner will feel proud and cocky 😋. "You weren't complaining about it last night 😏"

Pile 7:

Shufflemancy -

Blue Light by Kelela

Fucked My Way Up To The Top by Lana Del Rey

Girl With The Tattoo by Miguel

Ace of Wands, The Fool, Judgment, The Tower, & King of Cups

Channeled song: Hrs & Hrs by Muni Long. The lyrics to the whole song is very significant, so please go check that out. The part that's standing out to me specifically is:

"When I met you

I knew this was it

I've never been in love like this

A love like ours

I pray for it on my knees

Every night for some hours"

Your next sexual partner has literally been asking the universe for you, pile 7 🥺. They adore you! I feel like in this world, you and your partner have felt lost when it comes to love. As if they have been searching for someone that will fulfill their romantic and sexual desires. They are a hopeless romantic, you are as well, but your faith regarding to find a partner who makes you happy has been fading away. You could believe you will stay single forever because it just seems there isn't anyone who is compatible with you. Pile 7, your partner is going to change this! They want to make you feel bubbly and get butterflies in your stomach again. They love to see you blush 🥹!!! Your smile lights up their day. You could have a pretty smile or they think it is so adorable. Dimples? You could have dimples or only one dimple that they find attractive. They like when you give a sheepish smile and your eyes look at them with love, it makes their day (brb gonna go cry 🏃🏽‍♀️). Channeled lyrics - Girl With The Tattoo by Miguel: "Those innocent eyes, that smile on your face makes it easy to trust you" As for the sex, they enjoy when you initiate it or take action. They are a soft dom. They like to take orders from you but be the one in charge sexually. Submissive romantically, dominant sexually (this would be my dream man fr 😍). This is random but they like your boobs and butt :D! Or seeing you naked in general. They could have a fetish for your body ngl 😅. PLS 💀 Your partner isn't gonna understand personal space fr. You could be getting dressed in the bathroom and there they are 🧍‍♂️ peeping by the door with this expression on their face like ":3! uwu!". Consent is important to them ofc, so you will have to set boundaries on what's OK or not. If you will allow them to they will just walk in at anytime or ask to have sex with you when you shower lol. You could call them a perv jokingly and they'll be like "heh ¬‿¬". I am reminded of the scene from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days when he pretended to get hurt so he could rub his head on his girlfriend's breasts and they both started laughing. You guys would be that couple that is cute but quirky in some ways lol. They could be big into shower sex? Champagne? They like to do it in hotels. Are they famous? There is something about wanting to get away from the public. Your partner could wish to (respectfully) cum in you or all over your body 💀. They are super messy lol. Your partner wants to fuck you reverse cowgirl style with your hair pulled back. You and your person could fuck like you'll never see each other again. The both of you are very loud. Your partner could enjoy shibari as well. They are a geek for sure. They could like cosplaying and costumes. Hentai 💀? I feel like they watch videos of E-girls or something. I don't feel like they are the most experienced though. So their fantasies could be pretty random 🤔? Like "Hey I learned about this today, would you want to try it?" The sex will be adventurous for sure. You and this person have a very youthful energy. They wish to orgasm with you at the same time. I feel like this will create a soul tie somehow 😗 Sex Magick? They could be manifesting you through their orgasms or you have been doing this as well. The relationship with your partner will be very dreamy. There is a sense of longing or wanting to connect. I feel like you and your partner will be in a long distance relationship. I'm seeing late night video calls or falling asleep on facetime. Cyber sex 💻? Things with your partner will feel pretty new. So it could take some time for things to be more serious on a romantic level, but it will create a new learning experience for you. I'm getting that aftercare is also important for them. They wish to cuddle afterwards or watch a movie/TV show together. "Food at my place ❤? I'll cook for you." Channeled song: Foldin Clothes by J.cole:

"I wanna fold clothes for you

I wanna make you feel good"

Pile 8:

Shufflemancy -

Super Bounce by Duckwrth (ft. EARTHGANG)

How Do You Want It by 2Pac

Rose by Jereena Montemayor

Eight of Wands, Five of Wands, Strength, King of Swords, & The High Priestess

LMAOOOO this is my pile that likes to have angry sex. You could act bratty on purpose so your intimate partner could dominate you. They get so irritated with your ass 🤣! There is gonna be a lot of spankings. Channeled song: Put My Hands on You by Dean & Anderson.Paak: "Face in the pillow, ass where the wind blows" they wanna fuck you this way. You are so noisy, pile 8! Your partner could like to feel, grab, and cup different parts of your flesh when you have sex. They make you feel so good. They like your butt and your thighs. They love when you act bad even when they say they don't 🤭😈. Brat tamer for sure. "You see what you do to me? Is this what you want? You like that don't baby? You're doing so good for me why don't you scream a little more" omggg if this a man they could sound like ghostface 🫣. Their voice is deep and raspy, ugh 😫. You love when their voice gets husky during sex and when they praise but also degrade you 😝. You could like for them to claim you or mark their territory. Hickies? Hand prints (Jack harlow: "I send her back to her boyfriend with my hand print on her ass cheek 🤚🍑") If this isn't a man, then they just have a really attractive voice and are very dominant during sex. Are you a dancer? This person loves to see you dance. They could want you to do a heels choreography, lap dance, or striptease for them. This person is going to be your partner for sure but it's a mess lol 💀

Channeled song: We Cry Together by Kendrick Lamar & Taylour Paige:

"Fuck me, nigga (I'ma fuck you, bitch)

Nah, fuck me, nigga, fuck me (I'ma fuck you, bitch)"

😭 I can't!

Pile 9:

Shufflemancy -

Kisses Down Low by Kelly Rowland

Water by Tyla

Impatient by Jeremih (ft. Ty Dolla $ign)

Ace of Cups, Nine of Cups, Six of Cups, Eight of Pentacles, & Ten of Cups

Channeled song: Shirt by SZA:

"In the dark right now

Feelin' lost, but I like it

Comfort in my sins and all about me

All I got right now

Feel the taste of resentment

Simmer in my skin, it's all about

Bloodstain on my shirt"

I am getting that you and your next sexual partner like to do it with the lights off, dim lighting, or sex in the dark. Very mysterious and seductive vibes here. It's like being pulled into a witch's lair. Your partner could believe you are a siren 🧜��‍♀️ or your aura embodies this energy. You are more dominant when it comes to sex. You like to take control. You enjoy fulfilling your senses. Candles? Something about scents or a musk here. Music could be played during sex as well. This person loves the way you take charge, pile 9. You know just what to do. You could like to throw it back or grind on them. Very slow and sensual. They are attracted to your waist, hips, and stomach. You could know how to whine your waistline or move your hips in a way that's enchanting. You could like to tease them lol. Orgasm denial? They hate when you tease. They get really impatient. They are so desperate for your touch 🥱! They want to beg for it, even if they deny it. "Please baby, I'll do anything just let me cum." This person is more vocal than you are. I'm hearing shudders and whimpers. They love when you give them head. It's like you're snatching their soul every time 👻! Your hands are really soft. Handjobs/fingering? 🤭 You are a very attentive lover. You will be more experienced than your partner, they could even be younger than you. They could want to call you mistress/mister or mommy/daddy. They view you as someone nurturing and protective. You heal a part of their inner child through sex. They enjoy when you caress their hair and give them back rubs. Baby oil? You could give great massages. You could make this person cry during sex because it is so emotionally fulfilling. You will find this adorable and want to make them orgasm again. Everything will be so wet and slippery 🌊! When you and this person have sex it's like the flood gates are opened lmao. I see this will most likely be a fling. This message is only for a few, but if you are a sex worker then this is a client.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Most to least experienced in bed? Konoha 11 and whoever else you wanna add. Love your work 😩😩

alrighty, i switched this up a bit to avoid strange research, if you wanna see someone else/another group ranking, lmk - i hope this is up to code, and thank you for the request!!

Sex Tier List

Ranked: Konoha 11 (Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Tenten) + Sand Siblings (Kankuro, Temari, Gaara) + Sasuke

Warnings: swearing, x(GN)reader implications, we are talking about sex, uh idk lmk if something makes you uncomfy

Notes: Boruto era for everyone, and, for everyone, their Bortuo era! this request had me fucked up lowk because, canonically, these mfs got zero action without rings - so we're putting an enjoyment spin on it, worst to best, in a modern-ish au. as in, who you would have to guide, vs, who could rock your world, five times over, in one night.

Masterlist💿

Tier 3 - Passable🪙

5. Hinata

I'm not even sorry. She deffo just lies there. Never gets on top. You have to ask for anything and everything, and not even in a sexy, teasing way, more in a 'I don't want to feel like I'm fucking a wooden board' way.

4. Kiba

May God love him because this man is certainly a selfish lover. That's not to say he isn't good - he's great at getting himself off, his brain just kinda shuts off otherwise. If you wanna cum, the onus is on you, because he's fuck-drunk within seconds of you touching him.

3. Kankuro

He's trying, okay?? It's just really fucking hard to keep you in mind when you just feel so fucking good. Kankuro's just inconsistent - that's the main issue. He'll try a million different positions in one session and is always unintentionally edging you.

2. Lee

Now, our darling, Rock Lee, is trying his best, honestly and truly. However, he doesn't know anything about anything, and you have to guide him every now and again. He's got the enthusiasm down, he's just not very good at translating it into pure sexual energy on the fly.

1. Gaara

He's too busy to be good at sex. When he does find the time, y'all get extra down and dirty, but Gaara's still lowkey inexperienced and the irregularity of your encounters doesn't help.

Tier 2 - Good🪩

5. Choji

Bro's got hidden talents, aight? It's a matter of him wanting to utilize them that sets Choji up. Most nights, he's chilling, but on those key few nights, hot damn.

4. Sasuke

I would've put him lower but y'all would've been mad - it's called REALISM. Sasuke would be wayyyyy too busy to put in the work to develop any actual skill in the bedroom, and he would find researching for it so far past disgusting. His good grace would be his natural endowment and prowess, but he's on thin fucking ice.

3. Tenten

Surprisingly stone top vibes, I cannot lie. She deffo gets off on your pleasure, but she's down here because she's kinda bad at first. There would totally be improvement, like obvious and quick improvement, but those first few times were pretty rough.

2. Shino

Baby boy. Sweet boy. Ugh. I love. I wanted him as number one, so I'm not even defending this. Take it up with my lawyer.

1. Naruto

He's not the main character for nothing. Naruto lays pipe, but he can get a bit selfish at times. Never fear though, the second he catches himself, lost in the sauce, another round gets added to his itinerary. He'll be making it up to you tenfold, even if it was just for a minute.

Tier 1 - Fantastic🔮

5. Sakura

With her level of anatomical knowledge, she barely even needs to break a sweat to give you a release. However, she will break a sweat, because she wants to. Just amazing, idk what to tell you.

4. Temari

Got me kickin my feet and twirlin my hair rn - she would be so GODLY in the sack. She's always very present, very attentive, but is so openly expressive in the moment. Temari would have you screaming syllables and seeing colours behind your eyelids.

🥉 Neji

The game my man's got is INSANE. I just know for a goddamn fact that no one dances the horizontal mambo as gracefully as Neji. You're pleased, he's pleased, no one's ever terribly tired or bruised, the limits are clear lines but are never even toed. That's just the reg, too! Special nights would be fucking wild, dude would have wine, and flowers, and candles - he would go the whole nine yards every time.

🥈 Ino

Be still, my beating heart. Christ. Yeah, Ino's got this shit on lock. She's a vers switch, need I say more? (I do, someone request a fic)

🥇 SHIKAMARU

Y'all seen my preferance yet, or nah?

Oh Em Gee - Shikamaru could have you, heels to Jesus, all night longgggg. The stamina, the will, the knowledge, the capability; it's all there, and no one is as apt to put it all together except for Shikamaru. He would go for hours at a time, until he physically couldn't anymore. He would know exactly what makes your timebomb tick, and he would push every button so deliciously. Fuck, he's a tease too. If you two aren't actively in the bedroom, he's trying to get you there.

[h50europe]

8.06 post mortem - Buck/Tommy - General - 9-1-1 Zombified

Many of us wondered why a cut emergency case from episode 7.04 was used. A novelty and if you look closely, you'll notice that the characters appeared very different from how they did in the rest of season 8, and the scenes felt erratic. This inconsistency is reminiscent of the writing from Andrew Meyers, who also wrote episode 7.04. However, in that episode, he had a co-writer who was clearly more talented. Episode 8.06 was poorly written compared to 7.04. Alone the scene in the beginning. Buck could have pointed out that this chick was interrupting the date he had with his boyfriend. Tommy then mentioned the Kinsey scale

Our walking encyclopedia had no idea what his boyfriend was talking about. Seriously? Also, Buck doesn't want to buy a present for their 6-month anniversary, and Tommy gives him 2 Lakers baseball cards and awkwardly mentions that Buck could go with Eddie? Is this dinner supposed to be romantic? Well, they could have gone to McDonalds. Meyers should have consulted his co-writer at this point; we're heading straight for disaster. Then Tim had this wonderful idea with Abby and thought it was hilarious. The guy's humour isn't just weird, it's kind of crude. Abby never mentioned that she went out with another guy from the 118. Isn't that weird? No one ever knew about it? Not Hen, not Chim? For two years? Did Tommy keep her locked in his basement? This plot is so poorly constructed that it's cringe-worthy at best. And that's when Himbo's jaw hit the floor… along with the audience.

The only good scene was Josh's GLEE speech. And I may be reading between the lines, but I felt that the way Josh talked about post and past GLEE and how Buck can't blame Tommy for his actions because times were different was a wink and a nod to the haters. I really had the impression that this was a cunning move to address why Tommy was who he was back then and why he has changed now.

But seconds later I nearly choked on my drink, and I can tell you it's orgasmic when a sip of Pepsi comes out of your nose, when Maddie said, "She wondered how many men Abby had turned gay." Because I was chatting to a friend before I watched the episode and I almost said the same thing. I live in Europe, so I watched it the next day, knowing what was coming, but nothing about that particular scene. Which, frankly, was terrible.

Forgive me for ignoring the emergencies in this episode. They were repetitive, to say the least, just with different protagonists.

So far we have a recycled episode, a recycled ex, a recycled emergency and a recycled scenario, Maddy is pregnant (hooray). It begins to reek of decay.

Brownie points to those who aren't already traumatised or bored to death. Now for the highlight: Tommy shows up at Buck's apartment in a great mood. He is looking forward to a date with his friend and hot sex as the icing on the cake (that's what I had in mind). Tommy gets suspicious when Buck asks him to sit down. It doesn't take long before he pulls out his phone and shows his friend photos of Abby and a younger Buck. This is followed by an awkward explanation of why he didn't share the news in the restaurant, and Tommy's reaction is a little awkward too. But this is only the overture to the worst retconning I have seen on television in a long time. The coincidence is swept under the carpet in the blink of an eye, and now it gets creepy.

Compare the scene in the coffee shop with this one. It has the same structure, bit by bit. Buck invites Tommy to the wedding in the coffee shop, and Tommy says, "What?" Here it is: "I want you to move in with me." We have a mashup of the first kiss and the coffee shop scene, and Oliver plays it similarly. The worst part is when Tommy turns into his zombie version. Excellently played by Lou. No doubt about it. He gave it his all. He maimed that shitty script, which felt like Meyers had raided AO3, picked the worst written fics and went for the most cringe-worthy insult he could find for a bisexual. "I was your first, but I won't be your last." Hello? This topic only comes to Tommy's mind after he is asked to move in together? I was expecting "I can't move in with you because I wouldn't know where to put my car lift and Muay Thai studio". No, it's because all the trust and love Tommy put in Buck is wiped out by the retconning of Tommy's personality. He succumbs to total chaos. This is not the Tommy we met in S7 and certainly not the one we met in 8.05. Fuck me! It didn't make sense. We would have needed a lot more background information ON SCREEN to make it believable. A scene from Tommy's past. Who hurt him so badly? It wasn't Abby. She only managed to traumatise Buck. Was it after he met Abby? Was it another guy?

Hello writers, are you still in your right mind? We have no clues. Neither the loyal fans and certainly not the new ones. You're reducing a character to a sad laughing stock. You rob him of all his merits, which you had Buck recite like a poem in school. And then you expect us to believe it? You steamroll over everything that's been painstakingly built up to this episode? It's actually convenient, I let the whole relationship run off screen. We don't see any flying lessons together, no training together, no cosy get-togethers in front of the TV, no exchange of affection, nothing. It's all headcanon. Guys, I've seen shows and movies where a sequence like this lasted five minutes and you knew where the couple stood. Maybe a flashback or two into Tommy's past would have helped. But no, instead the audience had to put up with the same old nonsense. A ridiculous story about an urn, a guy who sneezes and his intestines fall out, a kid who doesn't fall down a drain but slips down a pipe. They give us nothing, but we're supposed to believe everything, retconning is so great. If any of us wrote fanfiction like that, we'd be banned from AO3. And as if that wasn't enough, Tommy stands up and says, "Believe me, I didn't see this coming either. Tell me, were you on drugs when you were writing? There are a thousand ways to respond sensibly to "Let's move in together" without turning it into such a dumpster fire. The crowning glory of all this madness is when Tommy says "I'll see you around Buck" instead of Evan (the same words he said to Evan when he left him standing outside the restaurant on their first date). Where did that come from? It's as if Tommy had lost all respect for his lover, or as if he wanted to punch him in the face while he was already on the ground. We, the viewers, also had this feeling. And Tommy's behaviour was completely disturbed. I wonder if he checked himself into a mental facility right after that.

I won't say anything about the rest of the episode because I'm a polite person.

Conclusion: Please take the pen away from this lunatic and never let him write anything again or give him a co-writer like in 7.04. The guy is totally unhinged.

Extra brownies, you made it!

[diana-bluewolf]

It’s this blog's first birthday! 🥳 Wanted to gather some of my fav drawings and thoughts about being in the fandom.

Being in a fandom is not always easy, but it is definitely worth it. 

1. It’s a perfect soft-skill trainer. It teaches me to focus on what I can control (like my reactions) rather than what I can’t (other people’s opinions). To be myself and not be ashamed of my interests. To stop overthinking and just enjoy the process. To accept imperfection as an inevitable part of any art…and myself. To stop comprehending the terms ‘self-indulgent’ and ‘cringe’ as synonyms. To prioritise my own well-being to avoid burn-out. And most importantly, not to cringe at my art I posted a day ago 🤣

2. It's a powerful therapy tool. I mean, have you tried to write an OC? Poor things, I don't envy them, but it turned out to be a perfect instrument to understand my own head's wiring better. It's like my subconscious is speaking to me through my OC's actions. I started this blog at one of the most challenging times in my life (let's just say that characters with external and internal scars appeal to me on a personal level. Not to be dramatic. Ok, I am, sorry, it's my only flaw), and it affected Chris severely, to the extent that I couldn't even imagine it would. But all the insights I got about myself via him are priceless. 

3. It’s the best source of inspiration. I had been in the art block for years, but seeing your guys cool art reignited my desire to draw. It was difficult (to say the least) to start posting amateur art about my MC on the blog that was followed for the screenshots of the popular characters, but I’m glad I did because, in another case, I would have never met some of my friends here. My art style is inconsistent as I keep experimenting, so some of my drawings are way better than others, but I’m still growing and proud of it. 

4. And most importantly, it's brought me together with some of the coolest people in my life. I'm so grateful to everyone who follows/followed me. Thank you so much for your support now or in the past, even if you just lurk. If you regularly appear on my notifs, I do recognise you and am very grateful. Even if I don't always respond - sorry, it's just because my social battery is often very low. I'm the most introverted introvert irl, even though I don't seem like one here. I'm training to overcome my social anxiety here, can you tell? 🤣 

Here I wanted to write something about my moots, but…Well, I have no idea how to continue whatever I had intended to write because just a thought of you all got me terribly overwhelmed with warm fuzzy feelings 😑 I blame you, guys 😤 So I will just write that I love you, but know this is an understatement.

Love this fandom, its creativity and all the incredibly talented and supportive people here. You guys are the best 🤗

[defectivevillain]

attempts at amnesty

pairing: Harry & Reader (platonic)

the reader is gender-neutral. their race is ambiguous and no physical descriptors are used.

“You should get some sleep, Harry,” you suggest, changing the subject. “We have a long day ahead of us.” Harry’s face is pinched and he stares at you for a moment, before shaking his head. He won’t let his guard down, and you can’t really blame him. You take a deep breath, before trying to think of a way to assure Harry that he can trust you. “Here.” Harry stands at the object you hand him with thinly-veiled confusion and apprehension. “It’s my wand,” you explain, “A wand is a wizard’s most powerful accessory, weapon, and aid. I’m giving my wand to you to show that I mean you no harm.” “You trust me with your wand?” Harry whispers. “Yes,” you respond instinctually. You decide that more people need to show their trust and faith in the boy.

Canonically, Harry’s first introduction to the Wizarding World was wonderful and magnificent, but it was also jaded. He was left to make his own assumptions about magic from the behaviors of those around him. But what if Harry Potter had a trustworthy adult to teach him about the Wizarding World—one who always had faith in him, stood up for him, and protected him?

word count: 4k | chapters: 1/? | ao3 version

warnings: canonical child abuse

author's notes: I’ve been battling with myself to even post this fic in the first place, so please know that I am trying my best and taking the utmost care to assure that I am not upholding JKR's prejudices. And if you don’t want to engage with this at all, I completely understand.

This is a reader-insert piece primarily focused on the platonic relationship between the reader and Harry. The reader in this piece is gender-neutral—relatedly, the word “wizard” is used as an ambiguous, gender-neutral term that encompasses all gender identities. The reader will also be written as racially ambiguous & no physical descriptors will be used. In future chapters, they may be referred to with they/them pronouns.

This piece is going to tread the line between canon divergence and canon noncompliance, so there will likely be many canon inconsistencies. You may have to suspend your disbelief a *little* to enjoy this story. But it will still be largely centered around the events that take place in the seven books.

I have most of the general premise written for this already, but very few of the details and necessary transitions are written. I think this first chapter is a bit choppy, for example, but I don't want this fic to die in my drafts... so I'm letting it run free.

October 31, 1981

You’re having a strange day: a few of your top students completely forgot about the Ancient Runes essay you assigned; at breakfast, Headmaster Dumbledore announced that the next Hogsmeade trip would be postponed; you nearly got mauled by an unfamiliar owl... Things are just odd today. You don’t put much stock in Divination, but even Professor Trelawney’s ravings are starting to sound less mad than usual. Something is in the air.

As you’re walking about, you hear the whispered conversation of two Gryffindors in the hall. You’re not above eavesdropping, so you lean against the closest wall and listen. Besides, you could easily punish them for being out of bed after-hours; if anything, you’re doing them a favor by letting them continue to walk the halls unimpeded. 

“Did you hear? James Potter and his wife were killed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,” a third-year Gryffindor, Evelark, says.  

“Really?” their companion says, clearly suspicious. “Lily Evans, too? I heard they were both rather talented wizards.” 

“Yes,” the student confirms. "But there’s good news—great, even. Their child, Harry, survived the Dark Lord’s Killing Curse. Not only did he survive, but the curse rebounded and killed the Dark Lord."

“Seriously?!” the other student remarks.  

“Crazy, right?” Evelark exclaims. The elder Gryffindor looks skeptical. The younger student sighs and continues to speak. “They say Harry has a scar on his forehead to show for it.”  

“I don’t quite believe you, Evelark,” they huff.  

“That’s bloody fine,” the younger Gryffindor scoffs, clearly bothered by their companion’s suspicion. “You’ll see it in the Prophet tomorrow." 

“If you say so.” With that last remark, the two Gryffindors make their way back to their common room.  

You watch them retreat for a moment, before eventually letting them fall out of your sight. For a few moments, it feels as if you’re stuck to the wall. Eventually, you manage to peel yourself off of it and walk away.  Your heart pounds traitorously in your chest and a buzzing noise reverberates through your ears and into your skull. Surely the Dark Lord can’t be dead. Surely it couldn’t be that easy. 

You begin to walk down the hallway, suddenly burdened with the pressure of coming to terms with the supposed end of the war on your own. You mechanically make your way back to your office and, before long, you’re sitting at your desk. Admittedly, you can’t quite bring yourself to believe what the students were saying. Even if it were true, one unshakeable fact remains: Voldemort would not die so easily. 

Little do you know, at that very moment, in Little Whinging, Surrey, young Harry Potter is placed on the Dursleys’ front porch. In a few hours, the very ordinary Dursleys will wake up to a very unordinary sight: a baby on their doorstep. For now, James and Lily’s son sleeps peacefully—with no knowledge of the horrible, gruesome events that took his parents from him.

Meanwhile, you’re left to the solitude of your office, an uncomfortable tension lingering in the air. An inexplicable shiver rolls down your spine; and it takes you a long time to fall asleep that night.

Eleven Years Later

You know very little about Harry Potter—or, “The Boy Who Lived,” as the Wizarding World has dubbed him. Admittedly, you are pretty uncomfortable with how easily the wizarding population seems to idolize the boy. He’s just a boy, after all. The story behind his parents’ death and Voldemort’s defeat is painted out to be a heroic feat for young Harry, but you can’t see past the tragic nature of it all. You seem to be in the minority in that regard. 

These days, Harry Potter is somewhat difficult to track down. At least, that’s what you glean from your brief conversation with Albus Dumbledore regarding the boy’s Hogwarts letter. Apparently, several letters have been sent to the home of his Muggle relatives—but they have gone so far as to relocate to a shack on a deserted island to prevent Harry from receiving his letter. The thought is troublesome. Albus requests that you deliver the boy’s Hogwarts letter in person and take him to Diagon Alley—where you’re also supposed to check on a vault at Gringotts. You grit your teeth and sigh. You’re not usually the one who has to visit families on account of Hogwarts, but McGonagall doesn’t have the time to meet with Harry. You’re the second choice, apparently. 

Your conversation with Albus then prompts you to find yourself standing outside the aforementioned seaside shack in the pouring rain. After a moment, you cast a Tempus charm, finding that it is now midnight on July 31st—reportedly, Harry’s birthday. You glance through the front window, only to find a thin, bruised boy sleeping on a shoddy hardwood floor. That must be Harry. His relatives are nowhere in sight—they must be occupying the other rooms. Somehow, you doubt that they are sleeping on the floor. The thought of Harry’s relatives treating him so callously fills you with irritation. 

After a moment’s contemplation, you unlock the door with an Alohomora charm and find yourself on the business end of a rifle—courtesy of Harry’s uncle, Vernon Dursley. You huff a laugh at the Muggle’s pseudo-bravery; it fades quickly when you cast a spell that makes his rifle melt into a puddle on the floor. You immediately elect to ignore Potter’s relatives and instead address the boy directly. You tell him that he’s a wizard. Predictably, he doesn’t believe you. 

“I’d be happy to explain further, Harry, but not in this company,” you say, with a glance at his relatives. His aunt and uncle are hovering awkwardly over their son, who is panting heavily after you momentarily cast an Ebublio Jinx to stop him from speaking. You hadn’t actually intended to drown him, of course, but his parents don’t seem to care about your intentions. You sigh and turn back to Harry. “I’ll stay here for the night. We’ll depart in the morning and I’ll show you to Diagon Alley, where you’ll get your school things.” Any further argument falls on determined ears as you cast an impromptu ward that prevents the Dursleys from stepping any closer to Harry and you.

You don’t sleep well that night—and Harry doesn’t either. It seems he doesn’t quite trust you yet—and, from what you can glean from his upbringing, you can’t entirely blame him. Instead of waiting until the morning, you decide to explain the circumstances of his birth and Voldemort’s return. It’s certainly a difficult conversation—you believe you’re far from the best person to be explaining all of that to him. You soon find yourself troubled by the fact that Harry didn’t know how his parents died; the Dursleys’ “car crash” story was beyond disrespectful.  

“So Voldemort—” Harry starts, after you’ve explained the circumstances of his birth; Hogwarts and your role as the Ancient Runes professor; and anything else you thought pertinent to mention. 

“It’s generally frowned upon to utter his name,” you interject instinctively. Harry blinks at you. 

“Then why do you say it?” Indeed, Harry noticed that you hadn’t refrained from saying Voldemort’s name. You take a deep breath, still struggling to come to terms with the fact that you’re the one tasked with introducing the boy to the Wizarding World. Something about that doesn’t feel quite fair. You didn’t know James and Lily well—while you were in the same year at Hogwarts, you hadn’t been friends with them. Harry is still staring at you expectantly and you have to take a moment to refocus your thoughts.  

“There is power in knowing someone’s name—recognizing their power—and choosing to acknowledge it,” you begin. “Avoiding the Dark Lord’s name only transfers accountability, and furthers the false notion that he is too powerful to be opposed by anyone.”

Harry is staring at you blankly and his eyes are almost saying “I have no idea what you just said.”  You smile and reach out to ruffle his hair, before remembering that he likely wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. Your hand falls to your side again and Harry just blinks confusedly. 

“You should get some sleep, Harry,” you suggest, changing the subject. “We have a long day ahead of us. I’ve cast a spell that prohibits any of your family members from entering this space, so you will be safe here.” Harry’s face is pinched and he stares at you for a moment, before shaking his head. You take a deep breath. He really should get some sleep—the two of you are going to have a lot to do, what with the travel to Diagon Alley and the shopping for school materials. He’s only eleven years old, so he needs the rest. You try to think of a way to assure Harry that he can trust you. Suddenly, you get an idea. “Here.” Harry stands at the object in his hand with thinly-veiled confusion and apprehension. 

“It’s my wand,” you explain. “A wand is a wizard’s most powerful accessory, weapon, and aid. A wand is the extension of a wizard’s power; without it, they can cast very little magic.” You decide to negate the existence of wandless magic for now. That’s something you can explain later. “I’m giving my wand to you to show that I mean you no harm.”

“I advise you not to try using my wand, both because it will likely not work and because underage wizards aren’t allowed to cast magic. When we go to Diagon Alley tomorrow—or, I suppose, later today—we’ll get you your own wand.” You hate to overwhelm the boy with all that information, but you fear that he’ll be overwhelmed regardless. He was being raised as a Muggle, after all. Harry isn’t familiar with anything from the Wizarding World. You notice the wary expression on his face and wait for him to question you about the purpose of a wand, the spells a person can cast with one. 

“You trust me with your wand?” Harry whispers quietly. His voice is unsure and, upon noticing this, your heart breaks a little.

“Yes,” you respond instinctively. You decide that more people need to show their trust and faith in the boy. Harry likely didn’t hear that often—if at all—during his childhood. The Dursleys treat him like he doesn’t exist. The thought makes your blood boil, but you resign yourself to thinking about that later. “Anyway, I’m going to try to sleep a bit. Feel free to do the same.” You conjure up two futons before reclining on the first one and closing your eyes. 

Before you can drift off, you remember what you’ve forgotten. “Harry?” you ask. He hums. “Happy birthday,” you whisper before closing your eyes. Sleep comes quickly, preventing you from comprehending his response.  

Hours later, your wristwatch goes off and jolts you from slumber. You blink and slowly push yourself up to a sitting position before chancing a glance at Harry. Harry is sleeping, thankfully. Your wand is in his hand. You’re not quite sure how to wake him. You settle for saying his name quietly and he wakes within a few seconds. The thought that he has to remain vigilant, even when he’s sleeping, is deeply troubling. In the short time you’ve spent in this clumsily built shack, you’ve learned a lot more about Harry Potter than you would’ve liked to know. 

You didn’t originally foresee having to spend the night in the shack, so you didn’t bring food. You tell Harry that you’ll stop for food before shopping. Harry watches as you pack up your things. You almost urge him to do the same, before realizing that he has next to nothing, save for the clothes on his back. You grit your teeth. Did Albus know about the nature of Harry’s upbringing? The mere possibility sickens you. You push the thought aside. For now, getting the boy’s school supplies is the priority. [That, and the vault key the headmaster trusted you with. Then again, you’re not too happy with Albus at the moment, so you’re keen to let that slip to the back of your mind.] 

“Dumbledore made us a Portkey; it’ll send us over to downtown London,” you explain, gathering the remainder of your things before beckoning for Harry to follow you. “A Portkey is an item that transports you to a predetermined location when you touch it."   

“Hold on, Harry,” you tell him once the two of you are situated outside of the shack. Harry stares at you for a moment, before you reach out and hold the worn old boot sitting on the ground. Harry looks extremely skeptical, but he grabs onto it and the world begins to swirl around you. 

Moments later, you’re falling down to a wooded area on a side street. You take a deep breath and turn around to look for Harry, only to find him sprawled on the ground. You bite down a laugh and walk over to him, offering a hand. He takes your hand and you pull him to his feet. “Is it always that unpleasant?” Harry asks. 

“No, you’ll get used to it,” you say reassuringly. You take a quick look at your surroundings, happy that you recognize where you are. You will only have to walk a few minutes to get to the cafe for breakfast. “Now, let’s grab something to eat.” You motion for Harry to follow you and he does so, albeit while still being shocked at his surroundings. 

By the time the two of you make it to the cafe, the novelty seems to have worn off for Harry. You’re sure he must be starving. You settle into a small table in the corner of the space, pleased that it isn’t very busy. A waitress stops by your table and asks for drinks, but the two of you end up just having water. When she returns and asks about food, you encourage Harry to choose whatever he’d like. He eventually decides on a chocolate croissant and, when the food arrives, the two of you eat in silence. 

After your pleasant breakfast, you pay the bill and head out with Harry. It doesn’t take you long to notice the stress that seems to string his shoulders together. The boy’s brows are furrowed. “You alright there, Harry?” You question. He flinches for a moment, as if torn out of his thoughts. 

“You said we were going shopping, but—” Harry breaks off, looking embarrassed, “I don’t have any money.” Your heart sinks at the shame on his face. He shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. Even if he were to truly have no money, Hogwarts has a funding program. However, Harry does have the money his parents left him—and you’re quick to tell him that. 

“Sure you do,” you remark. “You have access to everything your parents left you. It’s all in a vault in Gringotts.” At Harry’s questioning look, you explain. “Gringotts is a bank in Diagon Alley. It’s one of the biggest wizarding banks in the world. Your parents have an account there—Dumbledore instructed me to show it to you.” You were given explicit instruction not to give Harry the key, but you’re apprehensive about that. The Potter vault is rightfully Harry’s and no one else’s; even the headmaster can’t control that. 

Before long, the two of you are standing a short distance from the Leaky Cauldron. You earn Harry’s permission to disillusion him—once you mention that he’s famous, he’s quick to take you up on the offer—and the two of you manage to make it to the courtyard within a few minutes. The disillusionment spell wears off and Harry murmurs his gratitude, before staring at the brick wall in front of you with thinly-veiled trepidation. You smile at him, before tapping the correct brick. The wall slowly falls away to reveal the twisting streets of Diagon Alley. Shops line the pavement and pedestrians walk about. There’s an energetic buzz in the air; evidently, you’re not the only one going shopping for school supplies. 

You chance a sidelong glance at Harry, delighted to see an awestruck expression on his face. After giving him a few moments to look at it all, you reach down and extend an arm for him to hold. Diagon Alley is chaotic, even to someone familiar with it; you don’t want to lose Harry in the crowd. Harry takes your arm and the two of you walk along the cobbled path. 

“We’d better go to Gringotts first,” you remark, breaking Harry out of his reverie. Harry nods, although his attention is quickly captured by all the shops and stores lining the street. You promise him that you’ll visit many of the different shops once you visit the bank first, which seems to appease him for the moment.

Harry’s jaw falls open once you both enter the entrance hall of Gringotts. Indeed, the building is rather luxurious—with long, elegant pillars and well-carved desks scattered around the space. The sound of quills against parchment fills the air. You allow Harry to follow behind you as you approach the service desk and ask for a goblin’s assistance. Within moments, a goblin by the name of Griphook is leading you towards a mine cart and closer to the vaults. You don’t realize that you’ve neglected to explain goblins and other magical beings to Harry until he’s asking you about them in a hushed voice. 

You try your best to explain goblins, vampires, centaurs, werewolves, and more to Harry to the best of your ability. Funnily enough, Griphook occasionally chimes in with his own remarks. By the time Harry and you are finally at the vault, you’re certain that his head is likely spinning from all the information. You smile and motion for Harry to open the vault with the key you gave him. The look on his face as the vault door opens to reveal the Potter inheritance is priceless. You linger outside the door, but try to advise him to only take as much as needed. Harry eventually decides on taking a small amount. You assure him that it’ll be enough to last him the school year. 

“We have one more stop to make, unfortunately,” you say to Harry once he’s done in the Potter vault. The boy looks at you in confusion. Griphook nods and, with a wave of his hand, the mine cart is shooting down the rails once more. You can tell Harry is resisting the urge to ask about the vault you’re going to. You decide to tell him that Dumbledore sent you to retrieve something. You don’t want him to think that you’re keeping secrets from him; unfortunately, you know you can’t tell him any more than that. 

Upon arrival at the vault, you realize there’s nothing in it, save for a rather flimsy bag. You take the bag in hand and step out of the vault. Griphook sneers and mutters something under his breath, but you don’t hear it. You notice Harry warily glancing at the parcel in your hand as the cart makes its way back up to the lobby. 

“Thank you for your help, Griphook,” you remark, once you are back in the entrance hall. You watch Harry nod and send him a small smile, to which Griphook rolls his eyes and walks away. You resist the urge to laugh at the visible fascination on Harry’s face. You don’t blame him, of course. He didn’t grow up in the Wizarding World, so everyone and everything he’s seeing today is entirely new to him. 

After Gringotts, you decide to take Harry to the bookstore to pick up his textbooks. Harry gets all his required textbooks and a few other necessities. After that, the two of you head to The Apothecary for his Potions ingredients. 

Next, the two of you walk into Ollivanders. Harry gets his wand, albeit after thirty minutes. Ollivander seems to be on the verge of having an aneurysm, but the confused frustration on his face quickly fades to wary fascination as Harry finally finds his wand. Ollivander explains that the wand had a brother—one other wand with the same core, a phoenix feather. The other wand belongs to He Who Must Not Be Named. Ollivander is about to continue speaking, but you cut him off and catch Harry’s eye, looking to the door. He understands and follows after you. The two of you leave Ollivanders and you take a deep breath. That was unexpected. Harry is regarding the wand in his hand with a mix of excitement and fear. 

“Harry?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. Harry looks up to you in surprise, before nodding hesitantly. You bite your lip and try to find the right words. “You’re not worried about the wand being a brother to Lord Voldemort’s, are you?” 

Harry is silent. That is enough of an answer. 

“It’s okay,” you remark. “You share the same core and nothing more. Voldemort’s wand is likely made with different wood and is a different length. Besides, you’re not anything like him, Harry.” 

“Are you sure?” Harry murmurs, so quietly that you nearly miss it. It takes you a few seconds to recover from the emotional whiplash of that remark. 

“Positive,” you remark, your eyes suddenly burning for some reason. This boy… He deserves far better. 

And speaking of deserving better, it’s still Harry’s birthday. You get the feeling the Dursleys didn’t give him birthday presents. Harry has been rather pleasant company, and you feel that you should get something for him.“You probably didn’t have many pleasant birthdays with the Dursleys,” you start. Harry diplomatically keeps silent. “And, well, I’d like to get you something.” Harry blinks at you in disbelief. “I’m thinking I should buy you an owl; they’re really useful. How does that sound?”

“Brilliant.” Harry grins. You smile and lead him towards Eeylops Owl Emporium. Twenty minutes later, the two of you are exiting with a cage in hand. Inside, there’s a snowy white owl that chirps at Harry happily. The boy decides to name her Hedwig. 

“I hate to leave you, Harry,” you remark some time later, once you’ve left Diagon Alley and are outside the Leaky Cauldron. “But, unfortunately, I have to return to the castle and give this parcel to Dumbledore.” Harry nods as if he’d expected something along these lines. You frown. Despite your short time with the boy, you feel rather uneasy with the thought of leaving him to his neglectful relatives for the duration of the summer. You suppose you don’t exactly have a choice, though. If only there were something you could do for him… 

“I’m willing to bet those relatives of yours don���t know anything about magic,” you start. “So, they won’t know that underage magic is prohibited. I’m not encouraging you to perform any underage magic, but a gentle reminder of the fact that you can cast spells will probably be enough to prevent them from…  bothering you.” You nearly slip up and say “harm” at the end there, but you manage to save yourself. 

“Also, now that you have an owl…” you continue. “You’ll be able to send people letters. If you’d like, you can send me a few.”

“I’d like that.” Harry smiles. 

“Great.” You summon a piece of parchment and quill, before quickly scrawling out your address. “Just send Hedwig here. I have an owl too, so you can expect a timely response.” Harry nods and pockets the piece of parchment. “Now, let’s get you back to your relatives.” You hold out an arm and Harry takes it. 

Moments later, the two of you are standing on the sidewalk leading up to Number Four Privet Drive. Harry wobbles on his feet for a second before righting himself. You watch as Harry stands on the sidewalk, evidently not thrilled to be returning to his relatives. You can’t say you’re thrilled for him, either.

“Well, here we are,” you announce. You take a deep breath, wondering why you feel guilty for leaving the boy with his relatives. “I’ll see you soon, Harry. Enjoy the rest of your summer!” 

“Thank you,” Harry responds with a small smile. You hold your wand up and wink at him. His hand moves to his pocket and the smile on his face widens. You decide to wait on the sidewalk as Harry paces up to the front door and rings the doorbell. For a long moment, you’re convinced that his relatives won’t let him into the house. Eventually, his aunt steps forward and quickly ushers him into the house, glancing to the side as if making sure no neighbors are watching. Her eyes meet yours and she bristles, quickly shutting the door behind her. You grit your teeth and stare at the house for a moment, before shaking your head and Apparating to the Hogwarts grounds.

next chapter

endnotes: I can't believe I'm finally posting this!! My 71 page google docs draft is very thankful.

Despite that ^ I am not going to have any kind of update schedule. I'll post whenever I feel I've completed a chapter. No promises on when or how that will manifest.

I initially wanted to write Harry to be Sorted into Slytherin, but then I realized that would deviate too much and just end up making a whole murky mess of the timeline I already created. So... yeah.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! I'm really looking forward to digging into this story. Mwhahahahahha.... AHHAAH... Whew, sorry. Had to get that out.

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thanks for reading! <3

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[radioactive-earthshine]

i know your not a batfam blog but i am curious about your unpopular batman/batfam opinions? if you don't want to answer that's fine and i hope u have a nice day!

Well, these are unpopular so do not @ me.

1.) They are not superheroes, they are vigilantes and detectives and that's okay. That's how they operate, that's their genre, they fulfill a very specific role in the wider superhero genre but they are NOT by any means superheroes. Are they heroic? Yes. Can they be heroes? Yes. But they are not superheroes. They are vigilantes that GCPD tolerates because they cannot stop them, and reaches out to for assistance on occasion the way real police departments reach out to civilian sleuths and even psychics if they are desperate enough. I feel like the comics need to go back to this, and keep them in their niche as DETECTIVE COMICS because it really makes them shine stronger as characters. Having them part of the greater superhero universe I feel was one of DCs biggest mistakes.

2.) Almost all of them should be in jail due to the amount of cyber crimes, torture, and other deeply unethical means they have gone through in order to solve a case.

No matter how "cool" it is that Babs has the power to hack random civilians security systems (or TVs through CABLE), it should only give someone deep dread and concern when they are reading these moments. This is hyper-surveillance propaganda that no one should be comfortable with, and it is always worth reflecting on when it does come up. Yes of course this is fantasy, but if you find that you are totally fine with this as a concept overall and feel it is positive, I'd really examine why. Granted, there are moments when such overreach of privacy and power are challenged and talked about even in the comics, however fandom still in general approaches this as the coolest thing in the world and applaud it. It's not cool. I hope you all have VERY clear divisions between fantasy and reality.

Torture is also not cool and the fact that it is an option on the regular is questionable (please look up the definition of torture it encompasses so much more than you might think, and it is something that comes on the regular across almost ALL media of Batman). Torture tactics are a common occurrence in Bat-media, not only implemented on "criminals" but also on EACH OTHER. It is something always worth a conversation and it IS something that is called out on the regular in the comics but again, fandom in many ways neglects these conversations or treats these torture tactics as ethical and reasonable. Because at least Batman isn't killing the perps, right? Then it's okay!

3.) Batman might not be a billionaire anymore, but he still thinks like and acts like a billionaire - being a billionaire is so intrinsic to his backstory and how he operates I think it is VERY hard to remove that aspect from him. Let's face it, he does things the way he wants, and refuses to do it any other way (like a billionaire) - he can overstep the law however he wants both as Batman AND as Bruce Wayne - laws do not impact him the way they do other people - he breaks them all the time without concern - he needs no justification, only personal suspicion to stalk, surveil, or detain someone - he is part of the oligarchy of Gotham no matter how much he gives to the 99% - he also has abilities and talents that no one else has and is part of the 1% in many areas of athletics and martial arts - this privilege he exploits is passed to his most loyal servants so long as they are in his good grace (like a billionaire's favoritism) - he thinks like a 1 percent-er when it comes to helping his own friends (see how he treated Hal when he was a homeless veteran).

Yes, yes, writers change, yes, character inconsistency, yes "I think that's out of character/NOT MY BATMAN!" but.... when this keeps happening over and over and over again, it's no longer just "ooc bs" from a writer using him as a mouth piece, which does happen, it's part of his lore and character. Ignore it if you must and if it makes you feel better, but it is still there.

But Orla, people who aren't billionaires act like this all the time, lol. They do, but Bruce was a billionaire and these actions are narrative parallels to his status as a 1 percent-er.

But Orla, he did that all that YEARS ago! He literally cornered Ollie last year in his own (apartment?) to chastise him and exert his moral superiority over him in the aftermath of the Absolute Power arc - among other unhinged current incidents like lobotomizing Jason.

B-BUT ORLA IT'S OOC! It's a trend that keeps happening regardless and has been happening for a long, long time. Again, ignore it if it makes you happy but it still is deeply entwined with his lore.

3.) Tim at least self reflects on some of his creepy white boy loser moments, unlike Bruce who just grunts and retreats into the shadows - but he is still a creepy white boy loser that oversteps boundaries and ethics in many ways that Bruce and Babs do. I'm glad Tim pulled himself away from a lot of Bruce's BS and his biggest fear is becoming a worse creepy white boy loser, but he is still a pretty creepy white boy loser.

4.) Tim doesn't even break 5 ft 5in tall.

Annnd that's all for now I got tired of writing.

[roomwithanopenfire]

Stats Sunday

Happy March!! Thanks for the tag @nausikaaa! Unfortunately, my goal is to make this banner worse every month, so be prepared—we've only just begun.

Early post for me. I should be sleeping but I started making my graphs and then... well, here we are.

Here's my February Recap loll. Stats and graphs and musings incoming. (this post is so long but i promise there's a snippet in here)

Rest of post is under the cut. It is long. You've been warned.

I've posted two things last month! A valentine's day fic for Ebb/Fiona and Chapter 3 of the Way We Are. (Technically i posted 3 but this stranger things oneshot was posted on the 1st and written in January so it feels like January's accomplishment)

Total words written for February: 14405 (this beats Jan by 460 words!)

Days I met my writing goal (200 words): 20

Days I didn't write or edit anything: 4

Day I wrote the most: Feb 11th with 2249 (this beats last month's high score of 1717!)

Number of Fics worked on: 10 technically, but i have not been consistent with most of them. mainly worked on 3.

Daily Average: 514 words (but like last month i am highly inconsistent and my WC varies wildy depending on the day)

(I really like the little curve in the middle. also two the days that look like zero are actually 1 words, which is my placeholder if i spend all day editing)

And here's a pie chart to show my WC distribution across projects. Tbh a lot of these were fics that i've had in my fic ideas doc and all i did was make a google doc for them and word barf onto it my ideas, that's why there's so many small slices.

some slices are so small you don't even get to know my placeholder names. also i hope the title THTHIPWGI intrigues you, i'm always excited when i can title a fic right away and refer to it by a fun accyromn on my spreadsheet.

Other notable things from February:

I finished writing all of The Way We Are!! (kind of. i have one more scene to write. Monica's fault.)

I took over the @carry-on-sapphic-week event!! Check out the prompts if you haven't yet <3

I've received So Many beautiful valentines from the CO discord servers exchange. my mailbox and my heart has been full

The CO fandom was able to raise $500 for Fandom Trumps Hate!! (and I got to make a spreadsheet bc of this!!!) (also i won two auctions from this, one for each fandom i'm in)

My car battery died and I had to get a new one :/

I started a new journal!

I finally figured out how to spell February

my savage worlds campaign finally got our ship back and made it off this stupid planet that we've been on forever.

i've started watching Yellowjackets and I'm really enjoying it

I read so many CO AU fest fics and each one of them was so good. I think i've read all except one so far, and honestly this fest has been so fun i'm obsessed with you guys, you're are so talented.

SPEAKING of CO AU fest fics, @fiend-for-culture's fic, Everything In Between, is SO good, i've been thinking about it all week. you should read it (and leave a comment so i can read it bc i'm stalking the comments on this fic and there's not enough to sate me)

i have spring break in just one week!!

Okay, i promised you words, so here's a snip from my COBB.

“And I’m sorry,” Simon says. “For what?” “Driving you off yesterday.” “That wasn’t your fault. I was being terrible.” “Yeah,” Simon agrees. “But I shouldn’t have dismissed you like that.” I make a face. “I’m not having a heart-to-heart with you, Snow.” Simon groans. “Why do you have to do that?" "What" "Everytime I think we're making progress you say something nasty like that."

sorry this post is so long, thank you for reading if you made it this far

tags, hellos, and apologies:

@alexalexinii @aristocratic-otter @argumentativeantitheticalg @artsyunderstudy @arthurkko

@beastmonstertitan @blackberrysummerblog @best--dress @bookishbroadwayandblind @bookish-bogwitch

@the-beard-of-edward-teach @brilla-brilla-estrellita @cccloudsss @ciescen @confused-bi-queer

@cutestkilla @drowninginships @facewithoutheart @emeryhall @fiend-for-culture

@hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @theimpossibledemon @jyae23

@larkral @lovelettersto-mars @meanjeansjeans @m1ndwinder @monbons

@noblecorgi @orange-peony @prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple

@run-for-chamo-miles @rbkzz @shrekgogurt @simonscones @skee3000

@supercutedinosaurs @sweetronancer @talentpiper11 @toc-the-scrambled @thewholelemon

@valeffelees @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

added some new ppl to this tag list, feel free to share a wip you're working on—art, fic, etc. it does not have to stats like mine is loll. i use wipsdays as my soapbox.

[neros-w]

What element is your Vision? (and how do you guess)

(ao3 version, with bonus in the end notes!)

!!!SPOILER WARNINGS FOR ALL QUESTS (event, character story, Archon, and Interlude Archon) PRIOR TO 5.6!!!

A Vision (or a god’s eye or gaze, in the original CN text) has no proper origin within the game’s lore.

The people of Teyvat are unsure whether Vision bearers are natural elemental beings (see: Volume 1 of Breeze Amidst the Forests) or those deemed worthy by the Seven. But, upon a quick analysis, one may be able to pinpoint what element a character will be able to get within their given region.

There are jokes among fans in the community about the loss commonly experienced by Anemo Vision holders, some going so far as to claim that the loss is usually the death of a sibling figure with an Electro Vision (this is… circumstantial). But there is some truth to this!

Before I get into it, this is what’s gonna happen:

I’ll point out several factors that might go into what element a character’s Vision is going to be based on my observations,

These parameters are entirely characterization-based, meaning that little to no information about a character will usually result in a toss-up or an unclear assignment.

These parameters ignore aesthetics/color palettes, positions of power, or their reputation from outsiders’ perspective.

This is all based on my understanding of the story elements as a whole and are subject to inconsistencies due to lack of information or being debunked by Hoyoverse moving forward (it is Version 5.6 at time of writing).

Spoiler warnings have been tagged, this is your last chance!

Section I: The Aspects of a Vision

From what I’ve gathered, there are three (3) main aspects that a character’s element will depend on: where they live/came from, how they deal with their hardships, and where on their journeys they are.

1. Regional ideals

This is the oft-ignored aspect of Vision assignments because, generally speaking, these seem to be a little vague and wishy-washy and rarely ever tackled explicitly within the narrative. I’ll explain their involvement in Section II in full detail.

Mondstadt: Freedom

Poetry/ballad

Freedom

Resistance

There is an emphasis here on Freedom, but the guiding principles’ idea of freedom differs from the Archon’s, which is a holistic freedom that involves the fight for freedom (resistance) and the desire to speak about these fights and ideas of freedom (poetry/ballad).

Liyue: Contracts/commerce

Prosperity

Diligence

Gold

Liyue’s understanding of commerce is not wholly business-oriented. The prosperity found in the exchange of diligently made goods and diligently enacted services is the ‘commerce’ Morax speaks of.

The understanding between an exchange, the connection made between one or more individuals, unspoken or explicitly discussed. Gold is not Mora, moreso the hearts of each Liyuen, their pride in their occupation and craft.

Inazuma: Eternity

Transience/the fleeting world

Elegance

Light

The irony of Inazuma’s national ideal is that it is at odds with the nation’s principles, showing the thematic conflict between the Archon and her people. Everything changes (transience), so one must make the continued decision between base wants and needs (elegance), to always pursue the higher purpose instead of stagnating or settling for less (light).

“A sealed eternity may, perhaps, look magnificent, but its essence is death,” so says the Philosophies of Light (like, the talent book), the so-called ‘yearning’ of the land of thunder.

Sumeru: Wisdom

Ingenuity

Admonition

Praxis

Sumeru’s wisdom lies in enacting knowledge (praxis), embodying and teaching it (admonition), and synthesizing it with your own lived experiences (ingenuity). A want and willingness to learn and grow is at the heart of every Sumeran’s goals, even if they don’t know it.

Fontaine: Justice

Fairness/equity

Justice

Order

Justice is blind, in Fontaine, but only in the way that morality plays a large part in enacting the law (equity). Serving this appeal to morals (justice) brings order to all.

This is the most wishy washy of all the national/regional ideals thus far (it gets worse from here on), as it fails to be properly emphasized within the Archon Quest. It’s properly represented by individual character stories, but fails to be synthesized as a whole, a common problem to the region’s writing and characterization.

Natlan: War

Rivalry/contention

Kindling

Conflict

Natlan’s alleged ideal is one of war but what it really means is a meek difference in opinion.

The name of the region’s base principles are misleading as well. Upon reading each, the principles mostly point at a ‘confidence in victory and learning in failure’ (rivalry/contention), the ‘espoused benefit of sacrifice’ (kindling), and ‘sincerity and being true to one’s motivations’ (conflict). A far cry from the more aggressive actual meaning of the words war, contention, kindling, and conflict.

Snezhnaya, Nod-Krai, and Khaenri’ah are still up for debate, as we have little-to-no verifiable or consistent information on each region’s ideals, whoever in the region has Elemental Authority, etc.

(Our only case for Snezhnaya is Tartaglia, as Arlecchino received her Vision as Peruere (see: Arlecchino Character Stories, Vision), and Wanderer received his Vision after erasing Scaramouche. That’s not really a big enough sample size for any theorizing.)

2. Elemental ideals

The one thing to note here, before everything, is that it’s easy to pinpoint the element of a character when considering who holds (or held) Elemental Authority.

So, consider the beliefs, motivations, and ideologies of every being that held onto a Gnosis that still had its Authority when it comes to that element.

(The only exception for Hydro is Furina, who accepted her Vision from Neuvillette fairly recently after Focalors gave him his Authority back. Every Archon thus far (barring Ei) has been holding onto their Gnoses since the Archon War.)

With that out of the way…

Anemo. Choosing freedom in spite of loss.

Yes, it is still ‘losing someone makes them Anemo,’ but the overgeneralization of a death of a close friend or relative harms interpretations. Wouldn’t that make Diluc Anemo instead of Pyro? Or Kaveh? Or, god forbid, Dori?

A loss so substantial that it changes and almost engulfs one’s entire life is the key. This is why we can still include Sayu whose master left her, Sucrose whose friends abandoned her, and Lynette whose equal standing with Lyney was severed when he became her protector when joining the Hearth.

It is their choice to commit to continue living freely (as much as they can) to tell the tale that makes them Anemo.

Examples being: Kazuha choosing to venture further instead of clinging stubbornly to revenge. Xiao choosing to be part of Liyue’s peaceful modern day in spite of the losses he’d accrued during its time of strife. Jean choosing to fight for Mondstadt despite her loss of self as she continues on Vennessa’s and the Gunnhildr legacy. And well, the guy himself, Venti choosing to live on and tell the tales his friend lived through and look up at the sky he always yearned to see despite his overwhelming grief.

Geo. Pride in one’s experience/niche/passion.

Every Geo character is proud of what they do and how they do it, almost boasting and arrogant in their pride. Ningguang in her position as Liyue’s wealthiest and the Qixing’s Tianquan. Arataki Itto with his oni heritage. Albedo as an alchemist and/or Khemia practitioner.

This pride is the driving force of their character, the core to all their choices. Other aspects remain secondary, almost trivial. It’s why Noelle who is proud of her position as maid is Geo but Bennett who is proud of his adventuring is not.

This is exemplified, really, by the way Zhongli is in constant awe of the minutiae of regular everyday Liyuens, of the legends, songs, crafts, strategies, weapons, etc. that his hardwork as a warmonger had produced. Yes, it makes him seem a little self-centered but hey… he helped make all that.

Dendro. Letting one’s past guide every future.

Dendro characters are shaped by their learned beliefs.

Often they gain their Visions when paying forward an act of kindness, letting it shape their motivations (Collei, Kirara) or finally eliminating any room for doubt or uncertainty that once plagued them earlier on in their lives (Baizhu, Tighnari, Kinich).

Often their motivations are in service of higher purposes, altruistic in spite of their perceived self-benefit (Alhaitham, for example, whose egoism leads him to believe his acts of pursuing correctness and truth are only in service of himself. He is [often] incorrect [or outright lying]).

It’s difficult to properly pinpoint their oh moments, because you have to dig through every single bit of their stories to properly pin down why what they did earned them their Vision.

Our best example is Rana, who received her Dendro Vision when finally remembering all she’d forgotten from Arana, whose teachings from childhood she still espoused and embodied in her adult life despite the memory wipe.

The other best example being, well, Nahida herself, whose literal accumulated knowledge becomes so powerful it can power cities and timeloop experiments and fortify rocks from earthquakes, etc. That’s on top of [gestures vaguely at Greater Lord Rukkhadevata] that. I think you get it.

Pyro. Forging one’s own legacy.

Pyro has to be the easiest because of the veritable deluge of Pyro characters in the game.

Often Pyro characters are passionately pursuing a goal to reckless abandon, motivated by parental figures or mentors who are either gone or otherwise preoccupied.

Amber wants to be an Outrider because her missing grandfather was an Outrider.

Bennett wants to be an adventurer because all his dads are adventurers.

Diluc wanted to be a knight because his father had always wanted to be a knight.

Gaming chose his own path because Yip Tak had chosen his own path as well.

I could go on and on, but you can see how easy to verify it is. I think you get the picture.

The keypoint, as always, is reckless abandon. It doesn’t matter when they receive their Vision, but often Pyro characters will be in dogged pursuit of their passions that they’d end up in significant danger one way or another.

These aspects are also present in Mavuika. As disappointed as I am with the trajectory of her arc, I can’t deny that her reckless desire to save Natlan by turning herself into a battery like Xbalanque did all those centuries ago is what shapes Pyro as an element.

Hydro. Salvation in sacrifice.

Because Focalors had held Authority for so long, it is very easy to understand why sacrifice ended up defining Hydro characters.

Many Hydro characters have a facade to uphold, one they choose out of necessity. And often, they use these facades to enact their own means of justice, sacrificing their true selves to save everyone else.

Ayato’s story quest is the best example of this outside of Fontaine’s fifth act. Ironically considered the worst character story quest, it showcases a young man who has to play into a facade stuck on so well, it’s impossible to see where the Inazuman politician starts and Ayaka’s brother ends.

Electro. Choosing duty over love/the self.

Similar to Hydro, because Yae Miko held onto the Electro Gnosis for so long, it’s hard not to see why Electro characters have to choose their duties over their love or passion or selves.

Often this choice of duty is an act of love, like Yae Miko choosing to maintain Ei’s wishes in spite of the solitude.

Lisa gave up her spot as the Akademiya’s best and brightest to be a librarian in Mondstadt. Cyno chose to be the General Mahamatra to keep his oath with Hermanubis rather than raising Collei at home. Kujou Sara chose to protect her home within an inch of her life.

Fischl is an interesting asterisk to this, choosing to be the Prinzessin out of love for the craft, but also out of love for poor lonely Amy. Without the Prinzessin, there is no Oz, and Amy would be all alone.

Probably the most interesting outlier.

Cryo. Solitude and yearning.

We don’t know enough about whoever is holding Cryo Authority or Snezhnaya. But one thing Cryo characters do have in common is a gaping yearning in themselves. For belongingness (Kaeya, Shenhe, Ayaka, and yes, Aloy), for the correct, best version of one’s self (Chongyun, Layla), for a lost future (Qiqi, Wriothesley).

I’ll keep an eye moving forward for this one, but I hope this makes sense.

3. Constellations and fates

This is really less of a factor and more of a consideration with regards to how the elemental assignments are justified within the game’s lore.

What does that mean?

Plainly put, every character’s constellation is a point in their development that coincides with when or how they were chosen by the element they have (given that they weren’t born an elemental, like some of the Archons and dragons).

This is what solidified my theory that characterization is one of the primary bases for how elements are chosen for each character. A character’s dreams (their Vision) have a clear trajectory based on a plot (their fate). Their goal is self-actualization.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that Vision bearers lose their Visions (their dreams) when they finally reach their goals. But it does explain why many Vision bearers are able to live as though nothing’s wrong when they’re apart from their little Vision baubles.

Examples being:

Kuki Shinobu

Arataki Itto

Diluc Ragnvindr

Jiangxue (from Wangshu Inn)

(Apparently, this should include a lot of unnamed characters that joined the Watatsumi Army during the Vision Hunt but… we don’t know any of them and honestly that’s such a thematic and ideological hot mess that I don’t even wanna touch it.)

A recent example of a Vision bearer conquering their fate, so to speak, would be Hu Tao, whose fate was actually achieved in the Lantern Rite event for 5.3.

There’s even a scene between her and Zhongli (clip below; timestamp: 20:28) in the quest that recited all of her constellations in sequential order. My friend Alina made a wonderful breakdown of this scene and the sentiments it lost in translation.

Hu Tao achieving her C6 in this cutscene (clip below) means that she’s achieved her fate.

Section II: The Case Study

Though predictable to many, I will be doing a case study of the one character who everyone knew was going to be playable but whose element no one really expected: Wanderer.

Prior to Inversion of Genesis, when Scaramouche was defeated at the end of the Archon Quest, there was no doubt in anyone’s minds that he was going to end up playable. And true to everyone’s expectations, he was.

But due to a) his aesthetics, b) origins, and c) general vibe, people were convinced he was going to be Electro.

So, let’s play devil’s advocate.

Name(s): Kabukimono/Kunikuzushi/Scaramouche/Wanderer Place of Origin: Inazuma Current home: Sumeru Species: Puppet

Information from

Yae Miko (the end of the Inazuma Archon Quest);

Raiden Ei (voicelines);

The Husk of Opulent Dreams artifact set;

Scattered notes around Tatarasuna;

Katsuragikiri Nagamasa

The description from Shakkei Pavilion; and,

Scaramouche’s own monologue about his own past (Sumeru Archon Quest)

(OPTIONAL) Unreconciled Stars event story quest;

(OPTIONAL) Kaedehara Kazuha’s story quest;

(OPTIONAL) Hues of the Violet Evergarden event story quest;

Scaramouche was a vindictive guy seemingly shaped by his lack of heart.

He was abandoned by his mother, rejected by the first few people he felt he belonged with, and was still actively hurting in his grief for his first family.

His first community, though initially accepting, had rejected him after his pleas for his mother’s assistance during Tatarasuna’s time of need were turned down (at least, in his perspective). After a misunderstanding about whoever killed Katsuragi, then-Kabukimono adopted the name Kunikuzushi and massacred the families of the five gokaden related to Niwa Hisahide (and also in an effort to attract his mother’s attention).

What happens after these historical events is already known to most players– his involvement with La Signora in Inazuma’s civil war, his escape to Sumeru with Il Dottore, and becoming the Shouki no Kami.

From these events and from his own admission, there are no traces of him choosing duty out of love.

If the argument is for his demeanor after being defeated by Sumeru, Traveler, and Nahida, then I would have understood. Let’s say, maybe he chooses his role as Nahida’s prisoner to be repentant with grace, but then… for who? For love of what?

On the other hand, from his version of the events, he is a person whose grief has been fueling his rage against the gods (his mother) for centuries. His grief for his relationship with his mother, his loss of innocence, first friend, first little brother.

By his own admission, it would be easy to verify that he’s Anemo.

So let’s fast forward because, yes, that does mean he’s Anemo, but how does that prove that he has a Sumeru Vision?

Well, consider the conditions under which he got it.

Scaramouche deletes himself when he finds out that the anger that had fueled him for centuries was based on nothing but a lie. Kunikuzushi had massacred all those people for no reason, had ripped his companion’s heart out of himself because of his ignorance.

It’s a cowardly decision to choose to try repairing everything by erasing yourself.

And when Scaramouche comes back as the Wanderer— just as lost and listless as he had been the day his mother abandoned him– he wants to learn all of it, his bitter platitudes, his vindictive anger, his massacres, his crimes. He repents, wanting to learn more, by paying his actions forward.

So, he receives a Sumeru Anemo Vision. His talent books, his guiding principle? Praxis. Embodying his knowledge of an erased past for the betterment of the future of his victims and (more importantly) himself.

Section III: Thought Experiments

To round this out, let’s try out some ideas on some characters whose backgrounds we do know about.

Let’s say… Durin.

Name(s): (Mini)/(OG) Durin Place of Origin: ??? / Simulanka Species: (Toy) Dragon* Current home: Sumeru/Mondstadt

Information from

The Skyward weapon series;

Festering Desire;

Albedo’s story quest;

Summertide Scales and Tales event story quest;

Interlude Archon quest Paralogism; and,

The Shadows Amidst Snowstorms event story quest

(OG) Durin was created by Rhinedottir and, due to unforseen circumstances, released to Mondstadt during the fall of Khaenri’ah 500 years pre-canon. This was a time when the Abyss was encroaching on all corners of Teyvat similar to the Natlan Abyssal Invasion.

Durin, like Elynas, was not aware that he was trampling on humans and rampaging like a mindless beast. Dvalin and Barbatos subdued him, the fight ending with Dvalin injured and Barbatos exhausted. He has since been buried beneath the snow of what is now called Dragonspine.

But dragons don’t die.

Enter: Mini Durin, a fictional character a witch from the Hexenzirkel created to give Durin a satisfying conclusion, even if it is fictional.

Mini Durin has much of the same arc– being born with no knowledge that he’s behaving like a mindless beast, tearing up the landscape, and trampling all over the place. But there is no Barbatos or Dvalin in Simulanka. He ends up becoming Simulanka’s villain, fearful, embittered, and lonely.

So instead, Andersdotter gives him a king, a fairy, and a hero, all of whom hear his hearts desire to be with the people who are so scared of him. These people give him the body he wants and now we have Mini Durin, who has not only self-actualized but also has become a real being that exists in Teyvat.

So fast forward, in Teyvat, after absorbing the negative emotions of a scorned fellow Rhinedottir creation, Subject Two, the still-not-dead Durin begins creating copies of Mondstadters in an effort to do what Subjecet Two couldn’t do: kill Albedo.

In order to remedy this, Albedo asks for a grant the means with which to give Mini Durin a humanoid body, have him absorb OG Durin’s essence, and make it so that Mini and OG Durin’s want to exist (and coexist) with humanity balances out Subject Two’s scorn for Albedo.

In summary, Durin is a being full of yearning to coexist with humanity– Mondstadters specifically. To share that his birthplace and mother are all beautiful, that he was created with love and consideration, and that he himself is a beautiful soul.

I have two options, all under the assumption that Neo Durin is going to absorb everything that previous Durin remembers (+ Subject Two’s Albedo hatred):

Cryo (Solitude and yearning) - Mondstadt (Ballads)

This was already my initial bet because it was most likely. I know, we have like 5 or so Cryo units in Mondstadt already, but since much of his past is shaped by his yearning for connection, it’s hard not to see why he isn’t going to be Cryo.

Him being a(nother) Ballads user is because of the whole “spread the word,” idea they added from his POV in Festering Desire’s description.

Electro (Choosing duty over love/the self) - Mondstadt (Freedom)

Guess two is kind of a cope take (I really want an Aggravate buffer). But not for nothing!

Choosing to atone even as an entirely new and separate being from Durin, as Mini Durin did in Simulanka, is a freedom he’d willingly choose so long as he can coexist with humans, make friends, etc. He’ll forever be bound to the Durin of the past, but there will be people who love him as he is and that, itself, is freedom.

But those are my guesses. What are yours and what are the justifications? I’d love to know what you thought of these parameters and what your personal theories are!

[explosionshark]

2024 AOTY

by me! your pal, bri-bri

originally i was going to just write up the first ten albums or so, but then i had things i wanted to say about the rest of 'em so i just kept going. that made the list really long though. so here's just the numbered list, under the cut you'll find my extended thoughts n feelings :)

What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision

For Your Consideration by Empress Of

Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds

Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy

Aumicide by Atrae Bilis

Children of the Moon by State Faults

Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas

Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation

Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely

Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate

Infinite Mortality by Replicant

I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy

Valerie by Tei Shi

Forever by Charly Bliss

You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut

World Fighter by Angel Sword

Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo

Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad

Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon

Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead

Vault of Horrors by Aborted

Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers

Steps Ascending by Stand Still

The Tower by Urban Heat

AOTY 2024

Full list here: write-ups for specific albums under th cut. Ranked somewhat arbitrarily.

1. What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision (metalcore) - absolute bummer that this will be the final album by these guys, but I'm grateful for the fact that I was able to see them a few times before they had to call it quits. Been describing this as like a song missing from the Saw 2 soundtrack or something that should have been playing at one of the clubs in Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines or something. I feel like that's accurate - alt metalcore with its nails painted black and a profound love of Nine Inch Nails. Strong lyricism drawn from real trauma, enough fun electronics to make them stand out from more generic metalcore acts, plenty of hooks and some sick breakdowns as well to keep things heavy. I hope Jack Bergin's brain never explodes again and retiring from touring helps him lead a long and healthier life. "Gamma Knife" is the highlight for me

2. For Your Consideration by Empress Of (Pop) - my favorite pop album of the year. Lorely Rodriguez is so insanely talented, this album has a pretty diverse range of sounds without becoming too inconsistent. I love that there's raunchy club bangers like "Femenine" right next to sappy love songs like "Kiss Me" and more introspective tracks like "What Type of Girl Am I?"

3. Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds (Death Metal) - very good year for death metal but I think this is my favorite DM record of the year. I've always enjoyed Andy Lee's projects and Ripped to Shreds has been my favorite of them for years but expanding to a full band has taken them to a whole nother level. Killer riffage throughout, insanely fun lead swapping between Lee and Michael Chavez. "Horrendous Corpse Resurrection" is easily one of my top songs of the year

4. Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy (Metalcore) - this was a big big SYSC year for me, in large part bc I ended up seeing them live so many times. Honestly initially I struggled with Coup de Grace because it leans harder into the dramatic, theatrical MCR/P!ATD style of emo than any of their other work, and that's not necessarily to my taste. This still makes the top 5 despite regularly skipping several songs on each listen because the rest of it is so damn good. Could not stop listening to it this fall. Safe to say it grew on me. "Chewing the Scenery" and "Subtle Whispers to Take Your Breath Away" were two of my most played tracks for the whole year

5. Aumicide by Atrae Bilis (Death Metal) - one of the most underrated death metal bands active rn imo. No sophomore slump for these guys, this record absolutely smokes from start to finish. It's heavy and it's nasty, but it still grooves. There's enough melody to make it addictive but they're still able to maintain the harshness that makes dissonant death metal compelling. "Hell Simulation" and the closing track "Excruciate Incarnate" are perfect examples of the balance they strike between those two modes

6. Children of the Moon by State Faults (post-hardcore) - 2024 was the year I discovered State Faults. Very much the experience of finding a band that is so much Your Shit that it feels insane that you're almost a decade late to the party. Children of the Moon is the best post-hardcore album of the year imo and it's not even close. These guys draw from an incredible range of influences to create some of the most affecting work in the genre - brutal and beautiful and profound. "Palo Santo" and "No Gospel" absolutely blow me away every time

7. Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas (post-metal? Noise? Julie Christmascore) - anyone already familiar with Julie Christmas' work does not need me to explain why she's such a powerhouse and anyone not familiar will be done a disservice by anything short of listening to her music for themself. All I can truly say about Ridiculous and Full of Blood is that it's one of the most dynamic, interesting albums of the year and I just hope to God she doesn't make us wait another 14 years for her next solo record. The band she assembled for this album is insane across the board, but in particular it was a delight to see her collaborating with Johannes Persson again eight years after the absolutely masterful collaboration with Cult of Luna. If you listen to only one song out of all the stuff I'm recommending today, let it be "The Lighthouse"

8. Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation (progressive death metal) - everyone won't shut up about this album but in this case the praise is absolutely earned. Cosmic, atmospheric, brutal, spacey, heavy as hell. With a Tangerine Dream collaboration no less! Essentially comprised of two long songs, Absolute Elsewhere is a record you need to make time for, meant to be listened to in full to get the most out of it, but it's so, so worth it to take the time. A stunning, transportive piece

9. Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely (post-hardcore/math rock) - my favorite EP of the year. A very exciting band, they fuse hooky, math rock riffs with post-hardcore intensity. Courtney Levitt's vocals are incredible - a combination of throat shredding shrieks and powerful, emotional clean singing that makes you instantly sit up and pay more attention. "Say Yes" was on repeat for me all year

10. Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate (death metal) - an absolutely crushing, depressive, beautiful piece of dissonant death metal. Undeniably heavy, but on this outing we see Ulcerate lean into some post-rock esque melodicism that elevates their sound even further. It's such an atmospheric album - grim and unrelenting, but strangely delicate in places. Top notch musicianship throughout, but Jaime Saint-Merat's drumming is just mind-blowing. The title track is a must-listen song for anyone who gives a shit about heavy music at all

11. Infinite Mortality by Replicant (Death Metal) - I noticed in my write-ups for the other two dissonant death metal albums on this list, I took a moment to highlight and praise the melodicism therein. That won't be happening for Infinite Mortality. That's not to say there's zero melody at all but to emphasize how much that's not the draw here. This album is an altogether darker, nastier, more menacing affair. There's a grime here, a dizzying, sinister undertone of violence. My first time listening to this record was as background music while I was reading Crypt of the Moon Spider by Nathan Ballingrud and there was a scene in that book I was reading during "Orgasm of Bereavement" where the combination of the sounds I was hearing and the words I was reading gave me a full-body sensory experience: goosebumps, a faint sense of nausea, slight dizziness. I can't think of a stronger album recommendation than that.

12. I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy (Rock) - ANOTHER BANGER FROM MISSY DABICE AND CO. Mannequin Pussy keep getting better and better and it seems like they're finally (deservedly) starting to blow up with this record. It's a joy to listen to - snarky, vulnerable, earnest, clever, joyful and pissed off in turns. "Loud Bark" is already iconic, easily one of the finest songs they've written in an already stacked career of certifiable bangers

13. Valerie by Tei Shi (pop) - my second favorite pop album of the year! Tei Shi's first independent release. The breadth of songs on this album is incredible - bachata inflected pop kicks the album off with the explosively catchy "QQ (QUÉDATE QUERIENDOME)" and by the middle of the record we've somehow transitioned to intimate, heart wrenchingly vulnerable meditations on a painful miscarriage with "Falling From Grace." Frustration with the major label rat race as well as evergreen pop subjects of love and heartbreak fill out the rest of the album, but no matter the topic or the style of the song, everything feels honest and confident. The Spanglish version of "Mona Lisa" is one of my favorite pop songs of the year

14. Forever by Charly Bliss (Rock/Power Pop) - talking about honest, vulnerable music! Charly Bliss made their comeback this year and it's unsurprisingly one of the best albums to come out in 2024. Forever feels like a great marriage of the sounds on their other two LPs, Guppy and Young Enough. The band is still leaning into the pop sound that clearly enthralls them but there's a welcome return for fun guitar riffs too. Also there's no album on this list that has a stronger opening than the three song run of "Tragic" to "Calling You Out" to "Back There Now"

15. You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut (Sludge Metal/Noise) - okay enough pop music time for something gross and gnarly and almost guaranteed to give you some kind of disease. Couch Slut have always been here to upset you - and holy shit are they good at it on this album. Each and every song on this record is a provocative, stomach-churning vignette in its own right but none moreso than "The Donkey" where Megan Osztrosits recounts a horrifyingly fucked up story of a friend's drug-fueled bout of self mutilation in Chat Pile-esque spoken word over massive, dirty sludge metal riffs. It's fucking sick. "Here's what happened when my friends and I got fired from a haunted water park" - tell me you don't want to hear how the rest of this story goes, even knowing it will end in a grotesque, bloody mess.

16. World Fighter by Angel Sword (Heavy Metal) - okay enough edgelord shit now we're back to having fun. I honestly didn't think there would be a trad metal release that would top Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater, and then I stumbled into Angel Sword this summer. It's just candy, man. Extremely catchy 80s style riffs, incredible hooks, gritty yet charming vocals. This album is dripping in neon, racing down the highway at 90 miles an hour with two topless babes in the backseat telling you how cool your studded denim jacket and fresh perm look. "Vigilantes" never gets old for me

17. Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo (shoegaze) - kinda wild that this is the only shoegaze album that made it onto my list this year but it is what it is! And what it is in this case is the killer second album by Argentinian band Fin del Mundo. If you like fuzzy guitars and ethereal vocals, this is the record on this list for you. Although labeling them a shoegaze band is accurate, it fails to account for the ways post-rock, emo, and dream pop elevate the bands sound to another level. It's a record that's soothing and engaging at the same time, well produced, clear sounding without being too polished. "Vivimos lejos" brings a charming kind of ASIWYFA-style combination of gang vocals and emo instrumentals, resulting in basically four and half perfect minutes of music

18. Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad (post-hardcore) - many bands are doing the throwback 00s emo/metalcore thing right now, but few of them are doing it as well as Ben Quad on this EP. This is basically They're Only Chasing Safety-worship but that's fine by me. Frantic, melodic, scathing and nakedly emotional, I love the intensity of this EP. I'd kill for a full record in this style tbh, but for now I'll be happy with what we've got. It's an incredibly short 11 minute runtime so I'd really recommend just listening to the whole thing but if nothing else, don't skip "Your Face as an Effigy"

19. Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon (Epic Heavy Metal) - epic heavy metal, I'm sure, sounds like the stupidest genre name in the world. But like, listen to Stygian Rose and you'll immediately understand there's nothing else that describes it as well. Big, heavy doomy guitars, fast drumming, crazy soloing, nimble bass riffage, powerful heavy metal vocals and lyrics about like wizards and evil kings and stuff? Lie to yourself if you want, but I know the truth. This album fucks hard. "Heavy is the Crown of Bone" and "Glimmers in the Underworld" are crushing, face-melting works of fantasy bullshit. I can't get enough of this album

20. Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead (Post-hardcore) - I discovered these guys through a collaboration with Pulses. last year and I spent most of the intervening time eagerly anticipating the release of their debut LP Infinite Void. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. It's an incredibly confident and fun first record - firmly on the Swancore side of PHC but lacking a lot of what tends to annoy me in that subgenre (insufferable songs about the male ego). Sierra Binondo's powerful and diverse vocal range really takes these guys to another level in a genre where extremely talented musicians are a dime a dozen. Go listen to "Ryn" right now and tell me you're not at least a little bit in love now

21. Vault of Horrors by Aborted (Brutal Death Metal) - it's Aborted! It's a cheeseburger. But it's a really, really, really good cheeseburger after you've been craving one for ages. This record has two gimmicks - all the songs are based on horror movies and each has a feature from a guest vocalist. Admittedly, I find brutal/tech death to be kind of wearying after a while and this tends to affect listenability for me, which is precisely why this album has a place on my AOTY list - I don't get tired of it. It's brutal and punishing but catchy and fun to listen to. Daníel Konráðsso absolutely does not sound like a human being on this. I bet his calf muscles are insane, because the double bass on this record is frankly disgusting. "The Golgothan" has my favorite riff of the record, but there's no bad tracks, honestly

22. Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers (Alt Country) - haven't really figured out a way to talk about this band that doesn't feel at least a little bit like deadnaming singer/guitarist River Shook but they've yet to change their band name so! Admittedly, not a very country heavy year for me, but if everything I've dabbled in, Revelations is the easy standout. Continuing the band's legacy of clever, honest lyricism and rollicking country rock musicianship, Revelations feels like the best version of their sound yet. "Motherfucker" is a straightforward, righteously pissed off ode to gross, predatory men in the industry, "Backsliders" is a good old fashioned broken-hearted ode to a bad relationship, while "Jane Doe" is the easy standout shot through with emotion, clever lyricism and brilliant guitar work

23. Steps Ascending by Stand Still (Pop Punk/Melodic Hardcore) - I was a teen in the 00s so I'll always be weak to that very Long Island melodic hardcore in 2004 sound that this album is evoking so perfectly. I love fast drums, I love posi philosophical lyrics, I love those melodic, angular guitar riffs, I love a guy shouting and I love gang vocals. Those things in combination just always work on me. "We Know the Score" + "Mysticism" are the perfect 'holler along at the top of your lungs in the car' combo

24. The Tower by Urban Heat (Post-Punk) - one of my most anticipated albums of the year. When they started the album rollout with singles like "Sanitizer" and "Right Time of Night" I had a pretty good idea that the final product would have a good shot at being one of my favorite records of the year. And of course I was right. Most Post-Punk isn't quite capable of keeping my attention, but Urban Heat are so damn good at songcraft. The songs on this record are incredibly dynamic, ranging from the snotty disdain of the aforementioned "Sanitizer" to the surprising tenderness of the New Wave ballad "Seven Safe Places." It's an incredibly strong showing from a really exciting band. I've heard they're killer live, too. Maybe if I'm lucky this coming year I'll get a chance to find out for myself.

And that's it! 24 for 24

Except for these also >:)

Honorable Mentions (aka albums it killed me to leave off this list so I'm cheating by adding them here)

Club Shy [EP] by Shygirl

Prude by Drug Church

It's Inside You by Candy

Sunrise Over Rigor Mortis by Beaten to Death

Verses in Oath by Hulder

Beating the Drums of Ancestral Force by Tzompantli

Agony & Wounds by Obscene

Cure by ERRA

Songs of Blood and Mire by Spectral Wound

The Cycles of Trying to Cope by Like Moths to Flames

Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater

I'll Drown on This Earth by Cold Gawd

Heaven Let them Die [EP] by Counterparts

Dark Superstition by Gatecreeper

[kalkiethinks]

SCAM ALERT

TLDR: If a commisioner ignores your instructions, sends you a ton of money upfront via a check asking you to deposit and send back a portion of money- DO NOT. So back in Nov 10 I got an email commission which started okay: "I hope this message finds you well. I am reaching out to you because I am impressed by your portfolio and believe your artistic style would be a fantastic fit for an upcoming project I am coordinating.

I am currently in the process of assembling a team and I need a talented illustrator to collaborate on the title, Pandemic: Precaution and Prevention. Your work stood out to me due to its vibrant colors, character choices and attention to detail.

If you are interested, I would love to discuss the project further and provide more details about the scope, timeline, and compensation. Please let me know if this opportunity aligns with your current availability and if you would be open to discussing it further.

He wanted to create 6 group illustrations that would be printed and handed out for students 18-25 that would equate to $6000 at a 9 week turnaround. This raised an eyebrow but thought they were just a generous client. I gave him my procedure pipeline, starting with a min deposit upfront as a show of good faith. Also told him holidays are busy so will we start next year? He says that's fine. So far okay. "Considering the amount to be paid for the job, cashiers check or bank certified checks is our best bet. My sponsor doesn't use online payment platforms. He's an old-fashioned businessperson. The check will be issued and mailed to you and you should receive it within 5 days. Please get back to with your details in the format below:" Another raised eyebrow in this digital day and age but I've done previous freelance work that used mailed checks so I was alright with this. Only released my contact info and bank name.

Now the red flags pop up: On Nov 19 he sends this: "How are you doing today ? I'm so sorry for this, sincerely I do not find it easy to write this to you this moment , I have been so busy lately, the check is been made out for $6,000.00 which is cover for both phases. The sponsor asked for immediate refund for the 2nd phase as soon as the check clears your bank then you could proceed with the first 1-3. The 2nd phase is been postponed until further notice due to the sponsors personal issue, I will provide you the tracking information via USPS as soon as I have it so you could have it tracked yourself to know when exactly it will be delivered. My sincere apology for the inconvenience and do have a great day." So my requests were completely ignored, tells me a check is on the way with the full lump sum and I have to return half that amount. This is one method I've heard scammers get access of one's bank account with the poison check and you end up paying that half with your own actual money. Checked with friends and my own bank, sounds like a scam. Check arrives, and doing 30 minutes of Googling reveals so much warning stuff:

-So the names on the client email (Nicholas Jarry), and this name on the USPS (Christopher Williams) revealed on the first results are both famous sports players. One is a funny coincidence, two is suspicious. -quick Google of what a Keybank check is like, get an old warning about what to look for in legit checks, also tried calling Keybank on how to verify a check and explaining the scenario. -the address on the USPS belongs to a residential house that had another business also registered to it before that has gone inactive. -The Ace Cafe is real, but everything is inconsistent. The Hillcourt Dr address leads to a residential house, there is no LLC, and the logo belongs to a legit Orlando location that had closed last year and is opening in a new location, the address not matching whats on the check and names do not match either Jarry or Williams.

I've already reported this issue to the FTC and while they can't help me do anything with this particular scammer I'm now passing this around to new artists to know what to look out for when too many little suspicious things add up.

[didalexiabreakupwitholgaisback]

Apart from everyone coming back uninjured, healthy and happy, I want Pere to spend the international break drawing up proper tactics and plans and getting the team reset and ready for the next few matches

for sure. so after a strong start, today's match seemed to devolve into a lot of the same mistakes from the last two matches. ultimately, we ended the match 2-1 which was not ideal, but a win is a win in a knockout format. and i guess given the debacle that has been the last week, i suppose that's what's the most important.

so i don't know whether to attribute that to the fact that madrid cff played more open and we were able to capitalise on that during the first half. but if they stuck to a low block, then we would be stuck?

either way, pere and rafel seriously need to work on better tactics because a 2-1 against a mid-table team isn't a huge improvement over the last two matches.

inconsistent is how i would describe today. pajor had the early goal and then missed chances to capitalise on some good chances. it was a better first half than we've seen but the second half performances dropped. for kika, i thought she was quite solid today, and she's one who i want to see play out a full match.

as for the year, i think pajor has been fantastic overall. she's got that killer instinct. we just need to see more consistency and clinical finishing by her as that has dropped off in the last few matches. same with kika, i thought she had a slow start but finished the end of last year in a strong manner. again, i think it's been slow going with her but it's clear that she is a talented player and had a lot of good moments today. 🙏

i thought ingrid was fine today, but i don't love her as cdm. she's not my favourite to fill the position of pivot but she does an adequate job to fill in, especially against teams like madrid cff, etc. again, i prefer her as cb, but she did her job today.

that's the thing: ingrid is a "fine" midfielder as you said and within the barça system, but she's not amazing. whereas i think she's a great centerback and really stands out in that role!

[fluff-n-cookies]

the Baby Cat pt.1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

shout out to @hinari27 who practically begged me for this, sorry it came out so late.

( here's some Context) please read, you will be VERY confused without it but do come back.

and here's my masterlist and the baby cat series masterlist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TW: MURDER, LIGHT SWEARING.

it all seemed so fast. one moment he was reaching for the knife, and at the time it all seemed like so much, So terrifying, so complicated. the voices practically Screamed in his head as Aizawa Reveled in the feeling of freedom as he finally finished the job, ending your mothers life. he did what his brother failed to do. Aizawa managed to finally have you all to himself.

the pounding rain outside didn't help either, the inconsistent beat only added to the already howling voices.

but much like the rain, the headaches, the stress, the pain, won't last forever. But it will come back .

as the rain slowed down, so did the high of murder.

so for now, he could love you without the problem of your mother or your father standing in the way.

but now that the deed was done, it all seemed so Simple!

his life's purpose wasn't to be a hero, it was to be a hero to you! his sweet baby! the voices simmered down, before going away completely. now the next order of buisness. making sure you haven't woken up from your nap, it took him Forever to get you to sleep, especially since that Bitch-of-a-mother didn't help at all.

Aizawa sneaked into his once a guest room that had now been turned into a nursery and bedroom for you and your now dead mother. and as Aizawa peered down at your tiny sleeping form a strange feeling of calm washed over him, a feeling of... rest? how odd. he hasn't felt this in years. something about having you all to himself, having you all safe and cozy protected from the cruel world out there, gave him peace of mind.

he spent some time, about 20 minutes, looking over you, calming you down every time you stirred in your sleep. the feeling growing in his chest.

he then went to go get you some formula from the kitchen (where your mother was brutally murdered) but them it dawned on him that

there is a dead body on the floor.

THE BLOOD IS SEEPING INTO THE CARPET NOOO

ERI IS HOME

THEY RAN OUT OF FORMULA

now, Aizawa is a man of many talents but this is too much for one man alone, but it is not too much for the duo of a life time! EraserMic!

because when there is a dead body on the floor it is best to get the walking microphone that you tell all your secrets to to help you clean up.

of course. there is the problem of Eri, eh, Eri will understand, Eri is a good girl. Eri loves you too <3.

Aizawa made his way to Eri's room, knocking on the door until he heard the little girl squeak out a "Come in!" the little girl whipped her head around to face Aizawa before running up to him to hug his legs.

"hi." she said in a small voice, looking up at him with those big red eyes of her's.

"hey. Listen, you know your baby sis (y/n)?" Aizawa asked crouching down to do so. "She's gonna be staying with us! her momma left her with us."

Eri Gasped in Excitement, "Really! She's staying?!"

"mmhm! why don't you go to her room and wake her up to play, Uncle Mic is going to be helping clean the kitchen with some chemicals so don't go there for some time, and show (y/n) the rain will you-"

Aizawa didn't even get to finish his sentence, for Eri was already out the door, running to her sister's room, and aizawa chuckled, maybe, maybe, this wouldn't be so bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stay tuned! I'll be doing Part 2 of this soon! where present mic and Eri hang out with (y/n) and Aizawa encounters a Karen shaming him for being in the Formula aisle saying "he probably couldn't keep a wife and now has to do it himself." Aizawa is going to sucker punch someone.

[maeberzatto]

MAE PREDICTS: the bear season 4 !!

QUICK NOTE: i am not claiming any of these to be 100% confirmed to happen or not. these are simply things i think may happen! these ideas are my own and have not been taken from anyone :’)

basic predictions / smaller subplots in episodes:

1. we see more of how the berzatto family looked when michael was alive / more new york carmen. maybe an episode showing how he ran the kitchen and more of his dynamic with his former head chef who gave our boy so much trauma

2. uncle carmy moments!! i think it’d be interesting to also see natalie grow in her relationship with donna and carmen’s own emotions / thoughts surrounding that (I JUST HOPE THIS ALSO ENDS UP WITH ANOTHER LIKE NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS MONOLOGUE SPEECH THAT FROM CARMY BECAUSE HELLO.)

3. more character focused episodes. i think we’re going to see more of richie’s story + hear more about his friendship with mikey since their dynamic seemed to interesting to watch in flashbacks

4. which brings me neatly to my next point: i think we’ll see more michael. maybe we get an episode that’s kind of like the one about tina but focused on mikey and how the beef looked when he ran it / was alive. or we’ll see a richie and mikey based episode of their silly shenanigans

5. i am gonna guess we hear more about carmen, nat and mikey’s dad. we haven’t heard really anything about him and i think we may get either mentions of him or hints to it.

bonus from that one: i think we’ll get more mention of the flirtatious relationship between donna and cicero. yall cannot tell me there wasn’t SOMETHING there between them in the christmas dinner episode. maybe they had an affair, or just a really close relationship and that’s why carmen’s dad left (or- imagine if cicero was carmen’s dad. IT SOUNDS INSANE BUT LIKE?? that could be why we never hear anything from him!)

6. we see claire and carmen have a full interaction face to face after their break up, like an actual sit down or she comes to see him / vice versa talk. they discuss what happened, or maybe we get more flashbacks to their relationship, whatever.

7. my final one: WE FINALLY LEARNED OUT WHY NATALIE HATES TRACY FAK SO MUCH. i don't know if they'd go through with this but i feel like they'd finally tie that up at some point. bonus to that: we figure out what carmen was apologizing to pete for in the first season when he says he was sorry for what happened.

larger predictions / more episode focused predictions:

1. we will see another huge setback for the restaraunt. maybe during a dinner rush something more chaotic than carmen in the walk in freezer happens. my gut is telling me to think like fire wise (perhaps a small fire / larger one that does significant damage and causes the most tension) but it’s the bear, it literally will never not be stressful. or they face the possibility of closing because they aren’t getting as many customers / something else and cicero considers backing out of their deal.

2. we see richie start to date again after going to eva’s wedding. i think he’d go strictly for his daughter to show that him and eva are still okay and her parents don’t hate each other + richie approves of this new figure coming into her life in a stepparent role, and that encourages him to start dating again, so we get to see portions of that. i don't know if they'd necessarily put it all in one episode or if it'd be drawn out throughout the season.

3. the review from the chicago tribune includes the words “confusing, excellent, culinary, dissonance, innovative, brilliant, sloppy, inconsistent, delicious, simple, complex, disappointed, Berzatto, subtract, overdone, incredible, tired, stale, talent”. my prediction is: the review will reference the way the kitchen was run + the fact you could probably hear everyone screaming at each other and carmen will be forced to take a step back and reflect - either willingly or at the advice of someone else, leaving him conflicted on where he stands. he may ask sydney to take over so he can improve his way of being an owner / manager / head chef. it'll also lead to conflict with cicero and them having to fight to keep him as a potential investor for future references since the review was so bad.

4. going from the previous one, sydney and carmen will have a major argument because of the review. something will get said by either or that makes sydney choose to accept the job offer she received. carmen supports her nonetheless, but she decides to come back.

5. which then segways into this one that i shared on my rambles page - i am gonna sound SO crazy for this because i am such a clown for it BUT. i think we are finally gonna see carmen and sydney either talk about their feelings for each other to separate people, each other or a kiss between the two. this will come after carmen realizes he doesn’t want to be at the bear without sydney. it will take her leaving to realize that he doesn’t just want to be friends or coworkers with her because she stabilizes him (i also believe he will say something along those lines.)

6. this one came to me recently (i’ll be editing this post up until the drop of season 4 with new ideas), but i think we’ll get an episode that focuses on natalie’s mental health after having a baby. i’d love to see them talk on postpartum depression and see how carmen / the staff respond to that since i think it’d be nice for the show to touch on that very raw emotional aspect. they've gone down the road of mental health topics before and i think them discussing ppd would be so nice for their audience to both educate them and maybe show warning signs.

7. again a new one - i have a feeling that they may decide that season 4 will be the last season and we won't get a season 5. as much as i don't want to admit that or see it happen because the show could do a lot, the show runner (chris storer) has sort of eluded to the fact the show isn't meant to run for a long time or indefinitely, and it sort of rests upon him and how he wants the story to look. but i can see them choosing to keep it to a season 4 because i don't think there's a lot they could find to do with the storyline. we already saw the opening of the bear, which was the main conflict of seasons 2 and 3. i also think we saw a lot about carmen grieving michael and that was a huge point of season 1. i think if they did decide to do a season 5, i'd be curious to see what their new focus point would be or if they keep it sort of a 'here's what restaurant chaos looks like', aka how season 1 felt.

[lesb0]

A Treatise on Pop Celesbians/bis 🌈✨

(by someone who only listens to music from the 15th-16th century)

I'm super happy that tiktok is making it possible for small artists to breakthrough and blow up BUT when it comes down to chappell, sabrina simply slays more and is the better artist. She genuinely loves being a pop princess, has so much fun on stage, and started serious singing lessons back at Disney ages ago. her work is more cohesive and better produced, her stylist is doing really well with establishing her silhouettes, her vocals are stronger, and she also naturally has the adorable Disney girl look that the industry eats up which propelled her career so fast

chappell is purposely drag "ugly" which is very fun and will def get her some Halloween costumes this year, her fun little songs are so catchy and cute, but the production and style and her skill level needs a lot more work. I love that she's a successful rags to superstar story and she is really bringing the community together rn, it feels good. but, she doesn't know how to be famous. It's making her extremely depressed and miserable. She sings improperly for a soprano and it's going to ruin her vocals very quickly. she HATES having a fandom. she was reeeally lucky the pandemic algorithm picked her up right before the great tiktok boom but that doesn't have longevity. also I know she's freshly out but I can't be obsessed with a new lesbian who totally disregards lesbian culture. it's just so blah to see another drag queen appended onto male gay culture. I just want to see Dykey Dykes who are super proud to be one of us, cultural-historically and all, not a sad hag adopted by gay boys.

Billie adores her craft and has the strongest vocal signature out of anyone on the charts by far, she's an incredible artist and is the most mature performer. She is so protective of other famous women in general even though she started out as a baby in so many precarious positions herself. I know shes going to keep making good catchy music about loving pussy. I hope she puts some effort into learning production because obviously her brother doesn't want to do her sex songs LOL

Muna Absolutely EATS at vocals, punchy beats, they have such a strong sound and the butchfemmebutch thing is so, so powerful & sexy & real. They are thee perfect band imo. but the stylist is so inconsistent with branding that I couldn't recognize them as the same band I learned about from my gay friend in 2020. they're constantly serving cunt. but only the good taste lesbians are there to eat it.

Zolita has released some absolute bangers but her vocals haven't kept up with her high production standards and the rebranding from vampire to nun to barbie to cheerleader isn't helping her establish a solid pop artist identity! she should've stayed in the indie zone, dark, slightly off key, and whispery gothic was her thing. But I love that she's never shyed away from aggressive out and proud lesbian aesthetics and marketing, I still have her lesbian sex stickers on my laptop!

peach prc sacrificed getting 1m+ views early on in her career to be an out lesbian. she's a good singer, but she's stuck singing about her ex boyfriend because that's what got her the #1 single. I love her adorable fairy femme4butch aesthetic even if her music isn't good

As for JoJo I don't know WHAT she's doing with the whole troll cringebait thing but it's funny and shes rich enough to take care of generations... It's very responsible that she's keeping the new annoying brand away from her little girl brand at target, she's growing into a good woman which is rare to see.

King princess CAN be a good pop artist but she's too inconsistent. she has a billion dollars and doesn't need her career anyways she's just having a good time.

I still think Hayley kiyoko could've been the queen of dyke pop if she would've dropped acting and modelling but she really is such a triple threat in talent and has the right looks that there's no way she shouldn't come out really successful but she is a woc so there's a whole different standard and many darker elements at play when considering the racism to killing her career.

I don't know why st Vincent moved into doing pop for 5 seconds. but Los ageless is my jam. Annie has been disappointing for a long time!

[wowie-zowie-art]

Warrior Cats bloat and character lifelessness;

(A kinda guide I made on a whim for fun, written as if I was addressing a writer!)

Are you struggling to read through the endless pages of allegiances? Being confused when characters seemingly pop up out of no where, or disappointed that a cat you got attached to didn't have any lines?

Or perhaps your a fanfic writer, and want to rewrite the books or write within their canon, and you end up floundering with the excess background cats and not know what to do with them? Are you tired of all the INBREEDING?

If you are a fan of warriors in any capacity, you have definitely run into this issue before, or at least have seen people complain about it. I've definitely have!

Obviously we can't control the books and get rid of the actual problem, but we can come up with solutions on how to deal with the bloat for if you need to make a family tree, au, fanfic and more!

Now I had a goal in mind; reduce bloat and make the additional cast feel more life-like. But how would I go about doing that?

So in my quest to brainstorm some ideas, I decided to list down every single modern Thunderclan cat in the most recent book; The Elder's quest!

KC = Kate Cary/Old team

NT = New Team

Leader: Squirrelstar (KC)

Deputy: Ivypool (KC)

Med.cat/s: Jayfeather (KC), Alderheart (NT)

Warriors:

Whitewing (KC)

Birchfall (KC)

Mousewhisker (KC)

Bayshine (NT)

Bristleclaw (NT)

Poppyfrost (KC)

Lilyheart (KC)

Nightheart (NT)

Wafflepelt (NT/fan submission)

Bumblestripe (KC)

Cherryfall (KC)

Molewhisker (KC)

Stemtail (NT)

Cinderheart (KC)

Finchlight (NT)

Graywhisker (NT)

Blossomfall (KC)

Eaglewing (NT)

Dewnose (KC)

Stormcloud (KC)

Hollytuft (Both technically)

Fernsong (Both technically)

Honeyfur (NT)

Sparkpelt (NT)

Sorrelstripe (Both technically)

Twigbranch (NT)

Finleap (NT)

Shellfur (NT)

Fernstripe (NT)

Plumstone (NT)

Flipclaw (NT)

Leafshade (NT)

Lionblaze (KC)

Spotfur (NT)

Queens:

Daisy (KC)

Sunbeam (NT)

Thriftear (NT)

Myrtlebloom (NT)

Elders;

Brambleclaw (KC)

Thornclaw (KC)

Cloudtail (KC)

Brightheart (KC)

Brackenfur (KC)

Kits:

Moonkit (NT)

Shinekit (NT)

Goldenkit (NT)

Hazelkit (NT)

Sunkit (NT)

(Sorry if I accidentally missed anybody!)

As you can see, this group is massive! With 31 cats created by the new team, and 25 cats created by the old team kicking around, leaving us with a total of 56!! Many of these characters barely get get screen time, and if they do become important, they are often discarded right after they are used. There's also the issue of characters that are given personality being killed off, and the fact that there are very few deaths overall leads to a over full cast.

So, what to do about the bloat?

Here are some very simple ideas that I came up with, many of which are ones that other people have used or continue to use! I no way am trying to say that I am fixing warrior cats or I am super original, but I wanted to try a fun thought experiment, and if this turns out useful to some, then that's great!!

(Also I apologize if I come off as condescending or patronizing, that was not the intention!)

Idea 1; Keep the large cast, but give everyone at least two individualized personality traits, and a few cats that they have UNIQUE interactions with that aren't their direct family members and aren't related to hunting, patrols, or training. Make use of this cast to diversify everything, which will make the characters feel more alive. This method can even apply to former main characters. To go along with this, everyone should have at least one major line so they don't get lost in the crowd.

(Obviously this doesn't apply to major or main characters, and you should pre-plan their traits and their relationships so their isn't any inconsistency. You can even give them their own motivations and reasoning if your feeling spicy!)

(Ex; Bristleclaw is talented and snooty. Mousewhisker avoids Lionblaze and Poppyfrost because they are xenophobic towards him, despite being from the same generation. Thriftear, her mate Bayshine, and their close mutual friend Plumstone, have a few lines each discussing recent gossip they obtained from the gathering from Shadowclan. Wafflepelt hates birds because he finds their songs annoying, and complains about it to his former mentor.)

Idea 2; Kill off your characters more frequently. This can be done in between arcs, before the story itself starts, to drive the plot forward, what have you. The killed character could have a major personality, could not if you don't really care. This most important thing with this method is to make the deaths memorable, and effect the cats around them. This allows the cast to be smaller, add drama to your story, and raise the stakes. Having cats grieve also makes it feel like the relationships of the characters are more real and deep, even if we don't see them all that much. However, don't kill off your characters all the time, especially if your doing it for shock value. It'll lose weight after a while, and potentially could drive readers away.

(Ex; Stormcloud dies in a similar storm that killed his brother, making their deaths an echo of each other. Cherryfall feels conflicted over his death, as they had a weird complicated romance going on that was never resolved. Sparkpelt, his best friend, is in deep distress about it because it reminds her of Larksong. Molewhisker is glad he's gone. Sorrelstripe, Stormcloud's former apprentice, is sad but quickly recovers.)

Idea 3; Add an age ranking system on the allegiance list, or at the very least give some of them reasons to be listed so high on them. Mess around with the allegiances in general actually, have more cats retire, more cats as queens. This is the closest you can get to modifying the allegiances without adding new roles if your not into that sort of thing! You can have have the younger warriors and the older ones sperated by giving them titles like "Senior" or "Fresh-paws", you can even include a middling rank for cats in between the two. Make sure to explain why some cats are in these categories despite their age or experience. Is it due to special talents or skills? A highly respected family? Are some lower down because they are disgraced and have done something wrong? What are the qualifications of these ranks? Play around with it, there's a lot of ideas to explore!

(Ex; Whitewing and Birchfall are currently the eldest clan warriors, so they rank on top of the senior rank. Shellfur is rather young, so he's a Fresh-paw. Graywhisker ranks pretty high because of his parents, Stemleaf and Spotfur, despite being younger than Shellfur. Thornclaw refuses to retire.)

Idea 4; If your stuck, running out of traits and relationships to give a character, or you feel the cast is a bit TOO big for your liking, than you can always combine characters. This method works great if you have big litters, or characters that are too similar to each other. This'll massively help reduce bloat because not only can you remove at least one kitten from every big litter, but it'll also allow you to give everybody more attention and how their relationships might change because of this combined character! You can do this with any kind of character, including main ones!!

(Ex; Combining Leafshade and Honeyfur together. Or Fernsong with one of his siblings.)

Idea 5; Similarly to the method above, you can just remove a character from the story or books entirely. You can even save them for later to use if you need them for a generation that's looking pretty sparse! It's always good to have backups!

(Ex; Removing Eaglewing for later use.)

Idea 6; Keeping track of everyone's familiar relations to prevent a "super couple" from producing too many litters, and then those litters having even more children, and etc. Having a tree or recording down character's family will make so the clan isn't entirely related to each other, allowing more complex relationships and believable romance, and help everything feel a little more clean. You can even adjust your cast even further if your still not happy with it's size. However, if you still want to keep the litters, try to stagger them a little so everyone has a chance to develop.

(Ex; Cinderheart and her mate don't need so many kittens. Brightheart and Cloudtail's second litter is swapped to someone else. Myrtlebloom's litter's sire is unknown.)

Idea 7; And finally, give the characters routines and special places you can find them on the territory, either in camp or around landmarks. This method could make the characters feel less like NPC's who only react to things or the plot in camp, and again give them that smidge of extra personality. Having the chance to randomly bump into somebody on the territory through the eyes of our POV could allow us to explore those background characters more and depth and evaluate what their interests are. This is something applicable to patrols too! Who wants to go with whom what pair or trio work best together? Who shouldn't be put on the same patrol as each other and why?

(Ex; Brambleclaw often goes to stomp around the forest randomly in anger because he's an elder, Squirrelstar tries to steer clear of him when this happens. Flipclaw likes to climb around on rocks near the territory outskirts, sometimes joined by his mother Ivypool or his little niece Moonkit and her parents. Sunbeam and Finchlight are super chatty when paired together, but are really good at duo hunting in exchange. Stemtail doesn't like eating with other cats, and sits in a secluded corner in camp. Brackenfur loves to sleep in a sunny spot in front of the Elder's den.)

Now with all of those ideas in mind, here's an allegiance list constructed using most of those concepts, baring the ones that aren't applicable on it;

Leader; Squirrelstar (Temperamental and passionate)

Deputy; Ivypool (Level-headed but avoidant of personal problems)

Med.cat/s; Alderheart (Anxious and sensitive)

Senior warriors;

Thornclaw (Crotchety and stubborn)

Birchfall (Dependent and easily impressed)

Poppyfrost (Calculated and cold)

Bristleclaw (Talented and snooty) (young)

Mousewhisker (Submissive and quiet)

Middling warriors;

Bayshine (Jolly and upbeat) (young)

Lilyseed (Lily + Seed, grandmotherly but prone to panic)

Dewnose (Reserved and thoughtful)

Blossomfall (Gossipy and rude)

Hollytuft (Snappy and pessimistic)

Cherryfall (Flirtatious and non-committal)

Spotfur (Justice-oriented, righteous) (young)

Stemwhisker (Stem + Gray, pressured and longing) (young)

Sunbeam (Helpful and a people pleaser) (young)

Sparkpelt (Energetic and adventurous)

Young warriors ("Fresh-paws");

Twigbranch (wise and knowledgeable)

Shellfur (rude and abrasive, but learning to be kinder)

Flipear (Flip + Thrift, silly and scatterbrained)

Honeyshade (Leaf + Honey, passive-aggressive and patronizing)

Finchlight (A problem solved and a thinker)

Plumstone (Popular and friendly)

Nightheart (Whiny and entitled)

Apprentices;

Wafflepaw (Endearing and naive)

Goldenpaw ("Golden child", and attention-seeking)

Shinepaw (Confirmative and indecisive)

Moonpaw (Weird and a daydreamer)

Queens;

Daisy (Stern and compassionate)

Sorrelsong (Fern + Sorrel, sweet and nurturing)

Fernstripe (Creative and talkative)

Myrtlebloom (Blunt and honest) (young)

Kits;

Sunkit (Myrtle's, undecided traits)

Oak-kit (Myrtle's, undecided traits)

Hazelkit (Shell's and Fern's, undecided traits)

Elders;

Brackenfur (Responsible and dutiful)

Cloudtail (Sassy and hot-headed)

Brightheart (Elegant and poised)

Brambleclaw (Irrational and bitter)

"Missing" warriors; Jayfeather, Whitewing, Stormcloud, Molewhisker, Bumblestripe, Cinderheart, Eaglewing, Finleap, Stemtail, Thriftear, Fernsong, Leafshade, and Lionblaze.

The cast is now down to a nice 40 instead of 56! (unless I did my math wrong somewhere or forgot somebody which could definitely be the case.)

Obviously the personality traits wouldn't actually be included in the alligence list, but I provided them to be used as examples! I'm really happy with how this turned out, and I hope some people try these methods out for themselves!! It's honestly very fun!

This list is also free for public use, so have fun with it! :)

If you've made it all the way down here, thank you for clicking on this post, and reblog it if you'll liked it! I put a lot of time and effort into it!