#in this essay i will….

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 174 }

lover is a day.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

{ time changed, we're different | but my mind still says redundant things | can i not think? | will you love this part of me? | my lover is a day i can't forget… }

there were many different sides to sung jinwoo that he kept hidden from you, his lover.

things may have seemed perfect and happy for him on the surface, with him putting on a façade that he enjoyed his newly obtained powers and was grateful for the system’s presence in his life.

in the world’s eye, he was a celebrity; a hero meant to be worshipped as he takes on various gates for the sake of protecting others-

yet no one would ever know that deep down, he was still the scared and helpless e-rank hunter who lacked the confidence to truly shoulder such burdens. memories of his beaten and bruised body would resurface at the most inopportune times during one of his many raids, making his movements falter for the slightest moment before he wills himself to bury such self-deprecating thoughts, forcing himself to keep fighting.

never once had jinwoo been given the chance to cry and let out his emotions, yet still, he didn’t wish to burden those he loved with his anxieties.

and of course, you were none the wiser.

being a healer who stood by his side during a handful of missions, he had developed a fascination and fondness with you back when you worked as his healer during some low-level raids. he recalls developing the biggest crush on you, yet never once did he try to act on his feelings for you.

his own lack of confidence made him avoid ever speaking to you, forcing the usual, pre-awakened jinwoo to simply admire you from afar. only with his reawakened self (made stronger and more desirable due to the system) was what pushes jinwoo’s confidence in the right direction as he immediately sought your presence and asked you out.

from your shocked expression, it was clear that you didn’t recognize him (making jinwoo feel grateful for that fact) as you happily accepted his invite to dinner. it took all of the willpower jinwoo had to stop himself from grinning like a fool during the entire date, playing the role of the perfect gentleman that solely sought to woo you with his charms-

and after that first date, the rest was history.

jinwoo uses his feelings of love and adoration for you to hide his own anxieties and push back his true self to the furthest corners of his mind. never once did he want you to realize who he truly was, for he was certain that if you ever knew the truth of his identity-

then you would reject him.

not only was he keeping up his persona as being the world’s strongest for the mere public eye, but for you as well.

regardless of how hard it was to not tell you of his anxieties and how they manifested into panic attacks that would last for hours upon end-

he would not burden the one he loved the most with such meddlesome emotions.

ah… but… jinwoo should have realized that it was far too dangerous to keep his every emotion locked within the depths of his heart.

jinwoo was always too weak to shoulder the burden on his own-

he should have seen his breaking point coming from a mile away.

on this particularly night, jinwoo opens his eyes with a gasp. a sharp pain felt against his chest awakens him with a start, his mind replaying the memory of the double dungeons plaguing his mind. jinwoo swore he could still feel the large claymore piercing through his chest and cutting through his heart like butter. a sob threatens to wrack through his body, but he manages to bite down on his hand, choking back the sound as he watches your peaceful form still in a deep sleep.

jinwoo practically crawls out of bed, making a run for the restroom as he dry heaved into the toilet, tasting the bitterness of the bile settled in his throat. tears fell down his eyes while his whole body trembles in response, the vertigo, nausea, and pounding headache mixing together into an almost deadly cocktail that nearly destroys him.

you’re pathetic.

can you truly be the s-rank hunter that the world looks up to?

nothing about you has changed!

even if you level up, you’re still weakweakweakweak-

“jinwoo.”

like a beam of light, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your kind voice calling out to him. you press a kiss against his broad back and gently help him back up to his feet.

still in a bit of a haze, he watches you flush the toilet before returning to his side, your expression never once filled with disgust or shame for him. he softly calls out your name, but could do little than follow you back into the room.

you gently coax him into getting back into bed, spreading out the covers for him. as if his body was running on autopilot, he gets into bed without a single sound of protest. only when he was laid comfortably back against the plush pillows did you tuck him in.

“i’ll get you an ice cold glass of water, so you just wait for me, okay?”

“okay…” jinwoo whispers back to you, eyes filled with his unspoken words of love and devotion to you. you smile and press one more kiss against his forehead before heading out into the kitchen.

you were gone for a mere second when jinwoo became restless. the hunter’s legs itched with the desire to follow you; to somehow latch on to your comforting presence as he felt his heart began to race in a bit of a panicked manner. before he could even jump out of bed to join you, you returned to him with a tall glass of water.

you help him sit up and place the cold glass against his parted lips, watching as he eagerly drank the refreshing beverage with a loving smile. jinwoo ends up draining the glass within seconds, making you giggle as you place the emptied glass on the nightstand before returning to your side of the bed.

instead of going back to sleep like jinwoo expected you to, you end up scooting your body closer to him, wrapping your arms around his larger frame. with a hum of his name, you place jinwoo’s face directly against your chest all while drawing comforting circles against his back.

“you don’t have to tell me everything if you’re not ready… i just needed to come clean to you so that you won’t suffer in silence anymore.”

“hm…? sarang, what do you mean?”

you remain quiet for a few beats, pressing a kiss against his hair before admitting to him. “i remember you, back when you were still the weakest in the world.”

your confession makes jinwoo stiffen in response, but you immediately calmed him down by pressing yet another lingering kiss against his forehead.

“this doesn’t change my feelings for you… in fact, i felt a bit hurt that you would hide such a thing from me.”

jinwoo felt the tears dot his vision, shakily telling you, “i-i’m sorry, so so sorry…!”

you shake your head and gently place a kiss against his cheek, “no no no, don’t apologize. it’s just… i’m so upset that i never called you out on this sooner. i made you feel like you couldn’t tell me anything; i made you feel like i could only love you only if you maintained a certain personality with conditions you believed i had for you.”

he was taken aback by the sincerity of your words, finally meeting your gaze with an expression of hope. your eyes were shining with unshed tears as you rested your head against his, “i’m sorry. i didn’t wish to come off that way. i was just hoping to get closer to you; close enough so that you could trust me and tell me yourself-“

jinwoo couldn’t stand the thought of you taking the blame for his own insecurities, making him shake his head as he leaned in to press a kiss against your lips. “oh no, my love… you are my heart and soul; you had nothing to do with this. it was my own insecurities and decision that lead me to… to keeping everything bottled up.”

you give him a tearful smile, giving him another kiss before murmuring against his lips, “but it was my fault for waiting for so long… and i never wish for you to face your demons all by yourself ever again.”

jinwoo’s breath hitches in response to your words, and he allows you to carefully lay him back in bed with you. your hands were pressed against his chest in a comforting manner, and you lean in to press a kiss against his beating heart before cuddling closer to him with your arms wrapped around his back.

silence was felt permeating at the air for several seconds before jinwoo finally spoke in hushed tones. “i feel like i haven’t changed at all.”

you keep quiet, simply tightening your arms around him, silently beckoning him to continue.

“even with my newly obtained strength… i know i’m not the strongest… and that terrifies me… you don’t know how afraid i am of losing those that mean the most to me… of losing my mom and little sister- of losing you.”

jinwoo lets out a shaky breath, somehow feeling his heart become the tiniest bit lighter once he let out all his anxious thoughts to you. “but… admitting this fear to you right here and right now, i realize that i am now filled with a newfound determination to become stronger. i… despite how anxious i still feel… just… just feeling your warmth surrounding me makes me feel like i can do anything. that despite how i’m still the same sung jinwoo on the inside-

that doesn’t mean i can’t become stronger to continue to protect those that matter the most to me.”

you give him a loving smile, pressing another kiss against his forehead. “and you can count on me to be with you every step of the way.”

jinwoo was finally able to laugh again, feeling his dark thoughts disappear into thin air, meeting your gaze as he leans up to properly kiss you. knowing that he felt much better now, you ease jinwoo back into bed, giggling when you heard him let out a yawn before hiding his face within your chest.

“goodnight, my beloved jinwoo.”

“goodnight… to you, the absolute love of my life.”

feeling a newfound strength beginning to grow from within him, jinwoo was finally able to fall into a peaceful slumber void of any nightmares and dark memories…

a.n. - the webcomic doesn’t do a good job showing the lingering anxieties jinwoo must still have, and i wanted to explore that side of him and write a comfort fic for him 🥹 he needs someone like the reader to keep him grounded; to keep as a reminder that he is always loved and doesn’t have to shoulder the burden on his own.

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[shuutingstar]

it’s so sad to think that the reason Kevin only talks about Exy (save for the fact that he loves the sport) us because no one has ever been willing to listen to him talk about his interests. Like, he’s a nerd at heart and probably has so many opinions on history or whatever — but he just never says anything because he’s so accustomed to being shut down if he ever brought up anything besides Exy so now he just never brings anything else up as a conversation starter. Let this boy go on a long rant about the Renaissance or the history of Egypt or something (and let him know he’s being listened to, being heard, and that you’re actually interested in what he’s saying. Don’t tune him out, don’t belittle his interests.)

[koobiie]

i feel strongly about this

[ofswordsandpens]

idk why people get super pedantic about the movie logic in Home Alone and start and try to pick it apart, because like, its a Christmas movie about a child accidentally being left home alone, the premise isn't exactly asking us to suspend our disbelief that much, and yet nearly every single "gotcha" question I see people bring up about this film is literally answered within the first 15 minutes :/

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:

Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.

It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:

This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?

Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.

Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:

SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."

That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.

The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.

HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.

Uh oh!

Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.

You can guess where this is going.

So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.

Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.

[mayonaisalspray]

HEY YOU!

Do you have an obsession with Ace Attorney? At least mild respect (or fear) for Miles Edgeworth? An inability to focus on your tasks? All of the above? Well I have just the thing for you!!

For the low price of opening it on your web browser of choice, you can use my handy dandy program I’m tentatively calling “Miles Edgeworth Glares At You For Being On Your Phone Instead Of Working”

Features include setting a timer(wow!), victory music, and an image of one very angry looking prosecutor! That’s more than one feature!

Try it out today!!

EDIT(final for real this time): I’ve made it so you can download and use it offline should you desire! Have fun

[fridays13th]

i don’t think you guys really heard glorilla when she said:

HE DONT WANNA BE KEPT DONT KEEP HIM

HE DONT WANT THE BABY THEN BITCH DONT KEEP IT HO!!!!!

I DONT GET LEFT IM A LEAVER HOES LOVE ME LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER

[scrimmiestbingus]

I need someone to do a video essay-length deep dive into how 75% of the BG3 fandom fell so hard for Astarion's manipulative seductor act that they believe that's his actual personality. This man has to practice his lines and still fumbles them constantly. He flat-out says it's all a front because he believes his sex appeal is the only reason anyone would keep him around, which is tragic. When he drops the act, he becomes this kind of silly man rediscovering what it means to be himself, and what it means to both love and be loved. He says "I'm all pointy ears, love." while turning his head to show off those pointy ears. Let him be silly, let him be awkward! It's so much more authentic then him being a walking innuendo.

He has a mid charisma stat with a bonus for deception and rolled a nat 20 on all y'all.

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

secrets of farming (1863) - john w. large

"yeowch augh taking damage ough eurgh"

[eggwishing]

I ONCE TRIED TO WASH THAT SCUFFED OLD THING WHILE HE WAS TAKING ONE OF HIS NAPS, BUT WHEN I TOOK IT OFF HE WAS WEARING ANOTHER IDENTICAL ONE UNDERNEATH! AND ANOTHER! I GOT THROUGH TEN MORE LAYERS OF THE SAME THING BEFORE HE WOKE UP. I WAS SO FRUSTRATED! WHERE DID HE EVEN GET THOSE FROM? THEY ALL EVEN HAD THE SAME STAINS!!

[throesofincreasingwonder]

"A story doesn't need a theme in order to be good" I'm only saying this once but a theme isn't some secret coded message an author weaves into a piece so that your English teacher can talk about Death or Family. A theme is a summary of an idea in the work. If the story is "Susan went grocery shopping and saw a weird bird" then it might have themes like 'birds don't belong in grocery stores' or 'nature is interesting and worth paying attention to' or 'small things can be worth hearing about.' Those could be the themes of the work. It doesn't matter if the author intended them or not, because reading is collaborative and the text gets its meaning from the reader (this is what "death of the author" means).

Every work has themes in it, and not just the ones your teachers made you read in high school. Stories that are bad or clearly not intended to have deep messages still have themes. It is inherent in being a story. All stories have themes, even if those themes are shallow, because stories are sentences connected together for the purpose of expressing ideas, and ideas are all that themes are.

[misscammiedawn]

Just read The Strange Case of Harley and Harleen and my god I needed a little bit of positive plurality in my life this week.

The way Pam and Harl's relationship adapts to accept the Harley/Harleen split makes my heart swell.

The way Pam sees the difference between her girlfriends.

And assures her that she accepts and loves all sides of her.

And does what she can to accommodate Harleen's memory holes.

The core relationship of this book is just so sweet and positive in accepting things as they are without judgment or pushing. Just acceptance and love.

And after finding that in our own life, I know what a powerfully positive thing it can be.

But the Harley/Harleen relationship is well handled too. There's friction and denial at the start but the two develop and trust one another by the end and Harley takes a seat as my favorite kind of character, the morally ambiguous protector.

I love the way Harley's protectiveness of Harleen is depicted and how she tries so hard to keep her from interacting with the criminal underworld of Gotham.

It's just saccharine and kind.

Highly recommend the book to anyone who just wants soft and kind plurality vibes. Heaven knows the majority of the fiction involving split personalities are flooded with angst and darkness and though this book contains a few dark plot beats like DV it never feels painful or sorrow inducing.

I'm so happy I read it.

[yeehawpim]

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x08 - “Killing is a Cycle” ↳ "Some people are really misunderstanding the dialogue before the scene in the cell" | (essay link)

[jennycalendar]

another cool thing is when you devour a book over the course of a handful of hours and it fucks you up and you just have to lie on the couch feeling like your brain went swimming for too long & only just came up from under the water. art is so good

[sulfurzee]

Isha if she got to grow up?