#in terms of food mostly
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[One Good Thing - Saturday 7th]
Today I tried a new funky herbal tea.
It was a happy incident more than a planned even to be honest. Mom left the house for some time because she needed to go see Dad, get a crate of vegetables at the farm and do some grocery shopping at the bigger mall.
Before she left, I asked if she could get me a box of my favorite herbal tea to the store she planned to go, since the one closest to where we leave don't have it. I mentioned it as she was leaving, asking her literally : "Can you please get me a box of my tea ? The blue box one, with chamomile ?"
And the thing is, the brand we use to get for our teas and infusion have some very colorful boxes with pretty design and I kind of forgot to take that into account when saying "the blue box one". The first one is the one I usually drink, an orange-flavored rooibos with cinnamon and chamomile :
The second one is the one my mother got, which is a chamomile, lemon balm and lavender herbal tea. And the packaging indeed seems bluer than my usual one, so understandable mistake.
It led to some very funny moments, though, because Mom hates lavender with the passion of a thousand burning suns. So, when I get her to smell the tea bag, she delivered an "it smell like toilet water" (because the old toilet deodorizer I used was a lavender one) with the flattest tone known to mankind and such a disgusted face, it was hilarious.
Well, this funky little herbal tea isn't that bad, even if I wouldn't have tried it, if not for this accidental purchase. It's better with sugar though, but almost everything is better with sugar when you have child's taste buds like I do.
#one good thing a day#ogtad december#07/12/24#good things#tea#herbal tea#accidental purchase#happy accident#trying new things#mom hates or don't care about almost everything I like#in terms of food mostly#she's never mean about it tho#more playfully joking with grimaces and little sounds#I do the same when she gets goat cheese
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ORDER UP!!🍔🍔🍔
I'm not shitting you when I say this... Since the beginning of this year's summer I've been eating nothing but burgers and drinking energy drinks for most of my mornings/noons.
BONUS!!!
Additional Maid Xyla doodle
#xyla-does-art#xyla-persona#xylas-ocs#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital illustration#art#oc#original character#demon#demon oc#demon girl#monster girl#maid outfit (????????????????????)#burger#fries#I don't think I've rendered food digitally before wtf??#I like the burger I did there oohmalord#I wanna eat this baby...#in terms of where I get these burgers.. I buy them from the shop called żabka....#They mostly appear in my country (Poland) that's for sure..#FUCK OFF SPOTIFY TAG!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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getting ready for cny😁😁😁😁😁
#been doing so much research for a bigger cny piece. its gonna have soooo many food items#anyway. more lunar new year glenn art pleaseee#also im never sure what to call it? like here chinese new year is mostly called chinese new year/cny/xin nian but internationally#and on the internet i see lunar new year and chun jie used more. (i see those on signs here but in conversation its just cny)#and like xin nian rhymes better with hot glenn than chun jie but i dont wanna use a less clear/accurate term#ive also seen people saying the close/foster family should be/speak cantonese so im not even sure if i should write the chinese#in simplified or traditional form cuz im mostly familiar w simplified#head in hands.... but i have a month to work it out so its fineeeee right
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I think platforms should have a "this made me viscerally uncomfortable in ways I can't describe" option for why you no longer want to see an ad.
I also think tumbr dot come should let me say "Hey! I Really don't want to see the weed ad! Thank you!" and then remove it. gimme the long ass LGBT one again I beg of you
#i have nothing against the green!#go do your thing! have your whimsy!#but by God the image used in that ad makes me ill#its just normal green. like im pretty sure that's what it looks like#but EW#what in the deformed chewed and spit up broccoli#sorry for being a hater 😔#but im Uncomfy✨#the first bit applies to yt ads mostly#and a Very Specific sonic (fast food) one. its long and i wanted to throw myself#out of bed. onto the floor and let my cat sit on me#typing out loud#Dizzy Being A Hater Edition#ik calling it green is very lame of me#tbf i dont know what exactly what the terms are?#And i fear saying it too many times will keep the ad around longer..#btw i have other Reasons for being uncomfy other than the look of it#but im not telling
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diagnosing dean with ed in both senses of the word. diversity win.
#he suffers from erectile dysfunction post hell. and he lowkey has an eating disorder bc of general food scarcity when he was growing up.#which manifests mostly in binge eating#canon to ME.#i guess eroticisation of ed in the latter sense of the term makes ppl uncomfortable. which is fair.#but as an eating disordered mentally unwell woman.....sometimes that shit hits. and its never helpful to shame ppl over what gets them off.#.txt
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had to ban a ripper from my discord yesterday, feels kind of strange someone could be such a huge fan of my models but still steal from me and break my TOS, and think they deserve to be in my community
#soap talks#for context this person was posting tons of fanart and making game mods and other stuff#what this person did was not piracy but it makes me think about how like. some vrc avatar pirates think#where they treat individual artists creations the same as adobe#the 100$+ you would be giving adobe just goes to line their CEO's pockets a little bit more -_-#the 35$ you spend on a base would probably be going to my groceries for the month so i can eat more than mostly canned food#also no one needs to worry about me in terms of food im just like statin facts that i can buy more food at the store when my sales are good
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my dad brought home a stray kitten 😑
#he is magnificent at finding stray/abandoned animals and bringing them home and unloading the responsibility on us#and having us get attached to the animal unneccessarily because they usually. well i'm not gonna say it#i don't wanna jinx it#it seems mostly healthy and we do already have flatbread so we have cat food luckily but he always fucking does this. it's so annoying#esp since this is only a few months after our family cat of 18 years died. like dude if anyone shouldn't be picking up strays it's my dad#because he never has time or money to take care of them#i cannot tell you the amount of short term pets i've had because of his antics#anyways. i have to go back to sleep now bc i only got 3 hours when my brother woke me up abt this 😔 gotta stop reading manga till 6am#since we got a new little guy to take care of now#sigh.#ik if i was like 12 i'd be getting all excited but i don't wanna be destroyed if smth happens to it so i'll manage my expectations#anyways. pics later when i wake up more
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yeah yeah okay maybe there is something to be said for eating healthier. whatever
#been spending a little more money on like healthier™ snacks with Actual Nutrients & yeah okay MAYBE i have been feeling better bc of it ://#idk it was mostly just bc i got sick of eating the same shitty snacks every day#so i started getting like nuts & cheese & dried fruit & roasted chickpeas & snap pea puffs & also seltzer instead of soda#drinking those stupid expensive protein smoothies (i need to dig out my blender) & eating frozen meals w more veggies#& wouldnt u fucking know it ive been feeling Better lately :// UGH#u know that thing where u get more & more reluctant to do something the more ur told to do it & then u do it & it Actually Helps. yeah#disclaimer that im talking specifically abt My Own Experiences here bc i dont want to Get Into It w ppl but i do know a large part of#the reason my weight has been where its been is bc of how i eat. i want to make it very clear that i am by no means eating Less rn#im just actually eating A Variety Of Foods. like i want to make that distinction bc i think the concept of dieting in terms of#eating less is Fucking Bullshit & i want nothing to do w it. im not interested in counting calories or any of that shit#literally i am just trying to make sure i am Consuming More Actual Nutrients#ive lost 10lbs since the beginning of december. i havent even started like exercising like i want to. its JUST from varying the food i eat#im so fucking mad lmao
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do you want me to fucking go off on you? do you truly fucking want that mother?
#“oh you and your sister never listen to me and blah blah blah” we fucking do (or at the very least i do)#“you guys never help out” does me doing the litter and taking out the trash and on occasion hand washing the dishes mean#fucking nothing to you? does me sweeping the floor every once in a while because you chose to keep us in an area that is ALL SAND/DIRT ROAD#for whatever stupid ass reason also meaningless? does me doing my damn best to help out mean fucking nothing?#do you want me to kill my self. do you want to lose your eldest child to something YOU could have fucking prevented all because you can’t#stop being a bitch to him all the time? do you really fucking want that mom? because at this rate i am once again on the road to fucking#attempting it. i’m so god damn sick of how you treat me. the only time i can do anything i want is at night. i stay up super late playing#games with my friends because its the only time in the day when you aren’t bitching and whining for me to do something you don’t want to do#for the past several days i’ve been up until five in the damn morning just to do something that makes me happy.#you misgender me. you deadname me. you refuse to accept any aspect of my identity. you don’t treat me like a god damn person.#i have so many different ways i can consider attempting if i truly wanted to. the only thing keeping me alive is my friends. because they a#least show that they fucking care and actively want to do things with me. like group drawing or playing video games.#YOU on the other hand; mother; yell and get mad at me over the stupidest shit and never fucking apologize.#i cannot recall a singular time you’ve apologized for being a complete bitch to me over something so fucking unimportant.#and yet i’m expected to be completely fucking fine and happy all because you provide me with the bare fucking minimum.#”i clothe and feed and provide a place for you to live” THAT IS THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. sure you could argue over the fact i’m 18 and#should be out working somewhere. but you give me so few opportunities for going places and even considering getting a job or finally gettin#my driver’s license. plus i would rather fucking die than work any food service or customer service job. because i’d be going somewhere#where i’d mostly get talked down to or yelled and then come home and have the same shit done after working for hours and getting minimal#pay. i’d rather work on my own fucking terms with commissions than go into any job where i have to interact with others in public for any#reason. where i’d be treated just the same as at home. like someone who isn’t a person and doesn’t deserve anyone to be nice to them.#i constantly so desperately wish that maybe one day soon i’d find someone to be with romantically and that i could maybe live with them and#get out of this hell hole that i’m supposed to call home. to go somewhere and have my efforts appreciated. to go somewhere where i’d#actually fucking be loved. i shouldn’t have to wish so god damn hard for a better life all because my mother can’t fucking treat me like a#person with hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings.#i’m ending this rant here before i get too angry and upset. see you all in maybe an hour.#suicide mention#ask to tag
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what specifically named color are you?
cattleya
you're a gentle soul in a world that you know would slaughter you if it found out. you're careless in your love, and reckless in how you show it, and that's not going to change. it's your shield, that is to say that you love with the intent to defend yourself from harm. you don't know how else to love, and that's okay. your love is armor, your love is a shield, your love is a fortress. you welcome all people to this grand estate, this fortified battalion, and all who live among your fields are safe from harm... at least from you. you have made mistakes in your love before and it cost you pieces of yourself. but you love. you will always love. because you love to defend. you love to protect.
#[ STUDY ] ── * TAKING A SAMPLE ( 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘬𝘰𝘨𝘢 )#( I feel like this is somewhat all right in terms of-- being human for Sanji )#( because love is very much human )#( something that he rarely got from his father. got a bit from his mother before her passing )#( and then later with zeff and with the strawhats )#( but he's really someone who shows love. mostly to the women but to anyone really via food. etc )
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ok I have powered through a ton of work today and feel good about it (although I still want to finish the wednesday workshop plan after this 2pm student mtg). midway through a meeting this morning I was struck by a craving for panera mac ‘n cheese that was so intense I kept losing the thread of the conversation lol. I’ve never felt one that strong before!!! I didn’t have time to swing by panera but I did come home and inhale some ice cream thinking maybe some other kind of dairy would satisfy the craving. it helped a little bit but omg. the NEEEEED for intensely gooey mac n cheese!!!!
#I’m still eating well in terms of getting all the nutrients I need and (mostly) avoiding processed foods#but my cravings for dairy and baked goods are super strong#a couple weeks ago I was all about meat and now the thought of meat makes me gag#pregnancy tag
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recipe genres i hate and that we have no use for as a society:
1. hEaLtHiEr version of [beloved comfort food] that has just replaced a key fat with greek yoghurt (it's always got greek yoghurt in it)
2. incorrectly translated description of a dish that brown people have been consuming for hundreds of years. if calling it liquified fermented legume and rice cooked and served for breakfast turns people off then they simply dont deserve to eat dosa.
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My current oni playthrough is generally going well except for the fact that for some ungodly reason I chose a bionic dupe heavy save that is almost completely built around bionic dupes to go for locavore for the first time. For the first 80 or so cycles I had 1 normal dupe. I have only within the past two sessions gotten two more dupes. All three just sit at home and cook occasionally because I can't be assed to set up atmosuit docs for them. I only just today finally got access to a pip. I have been fighting for my god damn life to get any tier 3 research done my poor bionic dupes need their yummy yummy power please let me get steam turbines already so I can do that without boiling my planetoid. I need my weezeworts or I'll die.
#rat rambles#oni posting#thanfully I do have a temprary deep freezer and a lot of food stockpiled thanks to ranching and using wild sleetwheat but I dont have#enough to feel safe taking too many dupes since after I get locavore I want to have some wiggle room while I get my farms set up#because I ultimately only have like 300k kalories of food rn and thatll last my 3 dupes a lil while but in the frand scheme of things not#That long and I will be needing to prepare for feeding them long term#I also should probably. sigh. set up proper suit docks. sighhhhhh.#bionic dupes have spoiled me too much I love not having to properly fill suits#but I probably will need to have more normal dupes for future labor partially due to moral but mostly due to power#I do Not have the resources to power more bionic dupes rn Ive barely managed to scrape by this far#I really Really need those steam turbines so I can properly tap into all my power options#I've been mostly relying on natural gas generators but those alone won't cut it forever#I rly wanna try using petroleum generators since I don't use those often but they produce an absolute fuck ton of heat#so again. steam turbine. shakes and cries.#Im also having to think abt how Im going to get that petroleum and how ambitious I wanna be this run#Im playing around with maybe making my first petroleum boiler using the magma biome but Im not sure if Im prepared for that yet#theoretically I could twiddle my thumbs for a good while before my power situation truly goes to shit but Id rather have a plan#so maybe I should start preparing for that after I get some wild farms set up#Im not even completely sure what plants would be best to wildfarm rn but I can throw shit at the wall and see what sticks#this has all been a very different playstyle for me from how I usually play so Im definitely flailing a bit lol#Im pretty cozy on oxygen at least
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I start a new job in a couple weeks that will require me to wake up at 6:30am. Am I preparing for that? Am I steadily going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier so that this transition is smooth?
It's 2:15am and I didn't sleep sooner because I was cross stitching and watching Dimension 20. I'll let you guess how well the preparing is going.
#its not going well folks#i have never been an early riser#ive always been a night owl#its when im most productive and have the most creative motivation!#hence the cross stitching#usually im up this late cross stitching or knitting. it just hits better late at night#but if i had to wake up at 6:30am id be fucked#so i need to kind of transition to that#my last job (at an axe throwing bar) sucked in a lot of ways#but one way it didnt suck was the time i worked#usually from like 4-11pm#got home around midnight. stayed awake all night. napped from like 10-3. then worked again#it was wild and terrible honestly#my sleep scientist roommate told me on no uncertain terms that that would kill me#but im made for that schedule more than im made for waking up at 6:30#i could stay awake until 6:30 easier than i could wake up at 6:30#at least this new job wont be as physically taxing#people say fast food is so easy. but god its hard on the body. and other things but mostly its HARD on your body#when i worked at arbys i worked five days a week. four 8 hour shifts and one 10 hour#you get one half hour break in that. the rest of your time is on your feet#standing. walking. lifting. etc#rn i work at mcdonalds. they dont usually give adults breaks. its better staffed than arbys so less moving but still#not great#now im going to be feont desk and marketing at an art center!!#im so fucking excited. i think itll be a different type of challenge but not as soul sucking as fast food#i dont think anything is as soul sucking as fast food#they have a theater and theyre going to teach me how to do lights! and i get to help with kid programs#i love working with kids. this is going to be great#anyway instead of sleeping ive been writing rhis post. wish me luck with the new sleep schedule!!
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.
Ignore
#delete later#as awful as the past couple of weeks have been in terms of intrusive thoughts and random waves of panic and intense emotions and#blankness. there have also been random patches that have been. okay. and that is how i know my medication is working#bc the times ive been like this and not medicated? there has been no reprieve#like although i feel. awful and useless and am internalising my work failures in a non helpful way that im trying to fight#i am having moments of#hey we're okay. they raised an issue in a way that was gentle bc youre a good employee usually. and honestly although you#feel terrible for fucking up. someone you care about very much died a month ago. you have been experiencing a mental health#almost crisis (i refuse to call it a full crisis bc im not self destructing really badly) and quite frankly the fact that you're functioning#at all is. pretty decent. youre trying. i am of course having moments where im convinced that they hate me and want to fire me immediately#but that has no evidence. and the fact that i know it has no evidence is a pretty insane piece of progress#shout out to my therapist from two courses ago who drilled the moral shit into my head.#she genuinly helped me a lot with this.#also was really really hoping for the usual christmas bonus this year bc my finances are tighter than usual but the company had a#lean year so no bonuses for anyone. so dont have the leeway to try out sliding scale therapy for a while. but it is what it is.#this will pass. its just been a rough four months and i havent had a break. ive also been waiting fir thr other shoe to drop at work#and it finally has so i can at least stop torturing myself over maybes. im getting my meds. i can refer myself to nhs depression#therapy. which will be mostly useless and the same as it always is but it tends to help me feel like im trying to progress which is still#helpful in some small way. it will be what it will be. one day at a time and all that jazz#this is also how these things go for me. i lose it slowly over a month or so. have a horrific couple weeks until a day of a genuine#full breakdown. i survive that day and the day after and then slowly start clawing myself up again. ive just had a few breakdown#days this time. what can ya do. is what it is. im sure I'll have another breakdown soon as i can tell im not done crying#and will almost certainly have a breakdown at my parents bc i am not good at hiding the dead eyed look and mum will#definitely clock im being weirder than usual with food and touching things. so there'll be a#anyway nevermind. ill do what i must
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they should invent a me that's good at everything i want to be good at. [thing from the addams family pokes out of a nearby box and hands me a piece of paper] thank you, thing. what's this...oh! why, it's a paper that says i have to be the one to do that for my future self! huh.
#bluebird.txt#post brought to you by IM FRUSTRATED AND ANNOYED BUT GRITTING MY TEETH AND KNOWING THAT I WILL NOT LET MYSELF FAIL IN THE LONG TERM#EVEN IF FUCK UP NOW YOU GOTTA FUCK UP A LOT BEFORE YOU GET ANYWHERE NEAR WHERE YOU WANNA BE#AND I'M DOING GREAT#AND ALSO I HAVE GENUINELY BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH HEALTH SHIT RECENTLY THAT I LEGITIMATELY WAS COMPLETELY UNABLE TO THINK OF#ALMOST ANYTHING SCHOOL RELATED AT ALL CAUSING ME TO FORGET MULTIPLE ASSIGNMENTS AND BE LATE TO A MIDTERM#AND IT SUCKS BUT SOMETIMES THERE REALLY IS A GOOD REASON FOR WHY YOU COULD NOT DO AS MYCH AS YOU WANTED#AND MAYBE YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO AS MUCH AS YOU WANT AT ONCE#BUT TAKE IT SLOWLY AND ONE DAY AT A TIME AND SOME DAYS YOU WILL FEEL LACKING BUT JUST THINK OF ALL#THE GOOD WORK YOU'VE ALREADY DONE#MORE WILL COME YOU WILL BE FINE#I AM FRUSTRATED NOW AND THAT IS FINE AND I AM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE IN MANY WAYS BUT I HAD A HEALTH SETBACK#THAT FORCED ME TO BE UNABLE TO DO SHIT I NEEDED TO DO AND NOW YOU SIMPLY JUST GOTTA GET BACK INTO IT#EVEN IF ITS SLOW AND EVEN IF YOU 'SHOULD' BE BETTER#SHOULD IS A BULLSHIT FUCKING WORD IN THIS CASE#YOU ARE. I AM. AND I WILL CONTINUE BEING. I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR AND ACTUALLY IT WILL NOT KILL ME.#I'M JUST GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR. AND THIS ORCHESTRA CYCLE. AND THEN I CAN GO ON VACATION. AND DO MENTAL PRACTICE.#AND MY BEST. AND YOUR BEST DOESN'T MEAN PERFECT OR EVEN THAT FOOD SOMETIMES IT JUST MEANS DO WHAT YOU CAN.#me when im taking it easy but taking it#sorry i gotta hype myself up cuz if i let myself feel bad about myself that's stupid and dumb and im better than that#if im not aggressively positive ill explode and my life will fall apart around me and i will NOT let myself be miserable again#last month was out of my control mostly. i will however not take 19 credits next semester!#girls when. RAAAGGGGGGHHHH RIPS OFF MY SHIRT I AM ALIVE AT LEAST AND THATS PRETTY COOL#me when i paused like seven times typing this to cough hard
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