luvkoshofficial

[indecisive-dizzy]

I think platforms should have a "this made me viscerally uncomfortable in ways I can't describe" option for why you no longer want to see an ad.

I also think tumbr dot come should let me say "Hey! I Really don't want to see the weed ad! Thank you!" and then remove it. gimme the long ass LGBT one again I beg of you

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally Getting Help (prt 6)

Masterpost

The Wayne family gathered in the family room once Alfred was done setting up the projector, somehow there was also a plate of cookies and a couple pots of tea on the coffee table. How he’d found the time they didn’t know, he always seemed to be doing just a little more than should be possible but they didn’t question it. 

Jazz seemed nervous as she plugged in her USB and accessed the power point on Ghosts and Liminality. The tidal page had a picture of Danny in his Phantom form standing with a group of others, a boy with gray skin and blond hair, a girl with green hair and skin, and a goth with purple eyes and a dark skinned boy who looked around Danny’s age, and Jazz with the title “Ghosts and Liminals!” 

The next slide had simple text: “What are they and How are they made?”

With each slide she read the text on the screen allowed and then added any context or anecdotes she thought of, or had prepared. 

(Next slide)

Ghosts:

Made of ectoplasmic energy and obsession

Made either:

when someone dies with strong enough desires

An idea gains enough traction to take on a life of its own

Immutable concepts and gods

Must be allowed to indulge in obsessions or they will cease to exist

All have basic abilities such as flight, intangibility, invisibility, and minor shape shifting

On top of basic abilities most will have additional powers based on their obsessions

Immortal unless killed 

Love to fight

Liminals

Made when a human is exposed to high levels of ectoplasm for prolonged periods of time

Have some ghostly traits 

Ghostly traits vary person to person

Less susceptible to human illness and injury

“The ghosts on the picture are Kitty and Johnny, we’ve had problems with them but would consider them friends now. They’re the ghosts of two humans who died, but there are others, Vortext for instance is the ghost of Storms. Those ghosts who come from ideas are called ‘neverborns’. There seem to be almost an infinite number of ghosts, however not all of them are interested in having anything to do with us so we tend to get the same faces showing up a lot in Amity.

“I don’t know how many liminals there are. I thought they might be new with my parents' research but as I look into it more I think there are more natural sources of ectoplasm then my parents thought.” Jazz explained before going to transition to the next slide.

“I have a question-” Bruce started before Jazz hushed him. 

“Wait till the end please! I might answer it without you having to ask,” She scolded, and he felt very much like a schoolboy again as his children snickered.

(Next slide including a image of the glowing green viles in the Fenton’s lab and a glowing green crystal)

Ghost biology 

Ghosts do not have any recognizable organs or bones

The only solid part of their being is their Core which is the source of their ectoplasm 

Any injury to a ghosts form not done directly to their core is considered minor and will heal

A healthy ghost is fully capable of mending any damage including removed limbs in a matter of hours or days depending on extent of the injury

All injuries not including the Core are considered minor 

Ghosts are considered young for at least the first hundred years of their existence and are often not considered adults until nearly 500

A caveat to this is ghosts are heavily driven by emotion and will often be the age they feel they are allowing ghosts to mature much more quickly, or more slowly

When this is the case ghosts are treated as the age they present and behave

Ghosts reproduce by shaping ectoplasm and Wanting a child badly enough

“Believe me it was incredibly scary the first time I saw Danny in his ghost form have something go right through his stomach. It took him a long time to convince me it wasn’t a big deal and it barely hurt. He does have to make sure he repairs the damage Before turning human again though or the damage can transfer over and I don’t need to tell you a hole in the gut is a lot more serious for humans!

“If I’m honest I only know ghosts that have stayed younger then they really are, for instance Youngblood who’s a few hundred years old and could be well on his way to adulthood if he wanted but has remained a child. I assume it can go the other way though, if a ghost is very mature for their age.”

Ectoplasm 

Ectoplasm is the energy that makes up all ghosts and the Ghost Zone itself. All ghosts can feed on the ectoplasm around them as well as produce their own by indulging in obsessions. The ghosts Cores produce the ectoplasm like a brain produces neurochemicals when exposed to the right stimulation.

Ectoplasm is a powerful source of energy but unstable. When it is stabilized into an ecto-crystal it is more stable and can be used as a power source safely by ghosts and liminals.

“Most ectoplasm is green like you see in the pictures. But it isn’t the only colour, some other ghosts produce different colours and it is highly tied to what emotion drives them. When it’s pure it usually smells like petracore but it can get pretty foul.”

(next slide)

What are Obsessions

Every ghost has one or more obsessions

They can be very literal things such as boxes, or ideas and emotions such as Love

In rarer cases they may have dual obsessions

Unlike for humans obsessions are very healthy for ghosts

Ghosts need to indulge their obsessions

Sometimes the way ghosts indulge their obsessions might seem evil, however it is almost always just amoral 

Obsessions shape every part of a ghost from their powers to thier physical appearance, to befriend a ghost you Must understand and aid their obsession

In very extreme circumstances a ghosts obsession may shift, sometimes this is healthy, more often it is a result of extreme trauma

“With my interest in psychology this was sort of hard for me to accept. From the outside the way ghosts obsess seems really unhealthy but it’s what gives them life. When not allowed to indulge in their obsessions ghosts will dysregulate and go to extreme lengths to try and get their obsession, if that doesn’t work they either go dormant if their core is still healthy enough or they will melt. 

“Ghosts change their obsessions very rarely, I’ve heard of it happening as they heal. For instance once a ghost has gotten revenge for themselves, if that was their obsession, their obsession might shift to avenging other people, or even protecting them so they don’t need to be avenged.”

(Next Slide)

Ghost Culture

The Ghosts have a monarchy

The title of the Ghost King is not hereditary but passed through trial by combat

Under the monarch is a council of being known as Observants, and powerful and old ghosts called Ancients 

Ghosts respect strength and value power and cunning in combat a lot

Ghosts bond with each other through combat and play fight with family and friends often

“I have down that the ghosts are a monarchy, and technically that is true but the current Ghost King was a tyrant who was locked away thousands of years ago. I’m sure as soon as someone shows up who’s powerful enough to beat him his court will be happy to pick up where they left off with a better King, or queen, though I don’t think the title has to change based on gender.

“I really can’t stress enough how violent ghosts are! Because nothing short of having their cores shattered can kill them, play fighting for them can look Very Much like a murder attempt to a human. A lot of the issues we’ve had with ghosts have come from them just not understanding quite how fragile humans, and for most of them they feel really bad once they know they actually Hurt someone by shooting them. It’s really best for everyone when they’re kept separate and Ghosts can happily tear each other apart in peace.”

Liminals

The result of long term low level exposure to ectoplasm, sudden high doses are almost always deadly

Liminals Can have almost every trait a ghost can, usually having a combination of a few

Commonalities between liminals include

Minor cosmetic changes such as: glowing eyes, pointed ears, and/or sharp teeth 

Increased stamina, strength, and aggression

Increased obsessive behaviour

Liminals sometimes develop powers shaped by the strength and type of obsession 

“Most of the people Danny and I know are liminals. I don’t want to talk about them in case they don’t want to be outed so I’ll talk about myself and my parents. We all had prolonged exposure after all. My ears are pointed,” She said brushing her hair back so they could see them, “And Danny is a little more then liminal but even in human form he has fangs. 

“My parents didn’t realize it but they could to the point they could subsist on their obsession without needing to eat or sleep as often as a regular human would. About a year ago I started developing the ability to tap into and feel other peoples emotions, I can feed on them a little too but I try not to because the Worst ghost we met did that and I don’t want to be anything like her.”

(Next Slide)

In conclusion

Ghosts are not evil even though sometimes their actions are hard to understand

Never get between ghosts when they’re fighting each other but it’s usually safe to yell at them to remind them not to break anything

Never get between a ghost and their obsession

Don’t drink ectoplasm unless you know you’re already liminal

“I have a feeling the section about liminals will be familiar to a bunch of you. I know Damian is liminal though I don’t know how he was exposed to ectoplasm and some of you,” Her eyes skirted across Tim and Bruce. “Are toeing the line. You’ll probably notice Damian and Danny getting really close, and they might get in some really vicious looking fights. I promise Danny is playing at least.”

The family was left silent for a moment, Bruce knew he was thinking about Jason. Who had died, been exposed to.. What certainly seemed to be something like Lazarus water and come back, obsessive, aggressive, and emotional. He wished he’d had this powerpoint a long time ago. It helped understand Damian too but mostly he was thinking about Jason. He needed to reach out again, maybe meeting Danny would be good for Jason?

“So uhhh, ya, that’s the end of the powerpoint?” Jazz said, shifting from foot to foot in the awkward silence. “Any questions?”

Next

[hannahssimblr]

In the evening we bike to the shop to buy firelighters. Jen says she likes the idea of a bonfire while we eat our barbeque food, even though the only time one has even been lit at the beach house is when my dad did it, all the while ranting on about how he learned everything he knew about fire in the boy scouts, and how if I had an iota of discipline or self control I might have benefitted from them before the local pack expelled me for being a shithead.

He was right. I reluctantly accept it as Jen and I approach the materials for making fire. Nobody has ever told me about the difference between briquettes and coal, what firelighters actually look like and exactly where peat plays into all of this. I know nothing about how to do manly things, and only ever figured out how to pitch a tent after subtly watching Shane do it the first time he and I went camping in the woods. 

In contrast, my father has shot an actual gun. He and his brothers hunted deer, game and wild pigs in the hills around their family farmhouse in Redding California. As they loaded up their rifles and zipped up their jackets they would say things to me about how I’d be coming with them someday, as though was some sort of honour, something to strive for, but by the time I was big enough to kill pheasants I was already five thousand miles away drawing comics on printer paper. My soft hands were meant for art.

“You grab the firelighters,” I tell Jen, and take a swerve towards the magazine stand so that I can peruse something in my comfort zone. There’s a small selection of artsy magazines, and I flip one open. 

“Um, do you think we should buy gasoline or something?” She stands chewing on her lip. 

“Probably not, right? That seems dangerous.”

“Should we ask someone?” 

“What? No.” Embarrassing.

I pretend to be engrossed in an article so that I don’t have to help, but while I'm there, an ad catches my eye, “Hey,” I call out to Jen, “would you want to go to an exhibition this weekend?”

“What kind?”

“Art.”

“Yeah, what kind?”

I turn the page to her so that she can see it, “contemporary,” and her eyes narrow at the images of weird sculptures made of bits of scrap metal, canvases with random splatters of paint dripping off the bottom, colour bleeding onto the floor.

“Hm. See, that’s the kind of weird art I don’t get.”

“It’s not about the art specifically, it’s about us doing something fun together.”

“And that’s in Dublin?”

“Yes.”

She smirks in a self satisfied way, “You’re bored,” she stops a passing customer to ask him if he knows what firelighters are, and if so, what does the box look like.

He shows her, and while she’s picking up the last two packets I come to stand with her, not helping, because now I'm more interested in selling this new idea to her. “It’ll be fun! How nice would it be to have a change of scenery? Get back to the city where stuff is actually happening, maybe go to that ice cream place you like.”

I’m certain this will sway her, but she pulls a face, “There’s loads of ice cream here, and the only reason you think nothing is happening on the beach is because you’re deliberately not doing anything.”

“Is it so bad that I want to have a day out with you?”

“No, I suppose not, but...” She wrinkles her nose “Fine. I don't want to be cynical. Do you think I’m cynical?”

“Yeah a bit.” I pay for the firelighters. As we exit the shop into the lingering light of the evening I admit to her, “I’m trying to cheer myself up, I just think I should make the most of the time I have left.”

She laughs, “It sounds like you’re terminally ill. You’re moving. So what? I’ll still talk to you all the time.”

“Yeah but I really want to savour these last few weeks. Will you come to the gallery?” I grip her arm and pretend to die, letting my knees buckle under me to really sell it, “...before it’s too late?”

“God, yes, fucking hell,” she groans, “I’ll come. I’ll do whatever you want for the rest of the summer, right?”

I throw an arm around her, “Thanks Jen.”

“Yeah, manipulator.”

“Takes one to know one,” I say cheerily, and we unlock our bikes and head towards home.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[corviisquire]

Creatures have colors!!

Left to Right: @moonchild-in-blue @leonsleftbicep @ghxstly-death

@pear-island

Left to Right: @a-s-levynn @foundationsofdecay @polteergeistt

They have been colored along with making some minor adjustments. If anyone wants anything changed please let me know! These creatures are yours so name them whatever you want, develop lore if ya want, and do whatever you want with them. Possible next batch will probably be made later next week.

Art notes under cut :D

I put some music drops because music inspires me too much.

Moonchild-in-blue: The blues and purples!! Opals and the insides of muscle shells inspired me a lot with the coloring (particularly the stars and moon). There’s another shell that has that shiny blue and green lining on the inside but I can’t remember the name of it. It was a full moon last night but I forgot to take a picture! Thought of you but anyways I loved coloring the lady. It was fun but I first I struggled on deciding if I wanted more blue or purple.

Some songs I listened to a lot while coloring this:

Sweet Disposition - Temper Trap

Moon Child - F16s

The Night Does Not Belong to God - you know who

Leonsleftbicep: Colors go crazy! Idk what your favorite colors are but I chose The Blue. I also incorporated some red (for yummy contrast and complementary colors). I realized this looked very vampire media core. EyAH enjoy the critter!

Some songs I listened to while coloring this:

Blue Monday - Orgy

Military Fashion Show - And One

The Apparition - do I really need to say who?

Ghxstly-death: Per your request, red and black was incorporated! Was inspired by Mohg, Lord of Blood, from Elden ring cause he has cool robes and a trident thingy. I really like how it turned out. Like I’ve been doing with every design is adding the bling and I felt gold would work well.

Was resisting the urge to put the entire One EP right here:

Get The Balance Right! - Depeche Mode

Mascara - Deftones

Jaws - Slep tonka

SEVEN HOUR SHITTER (pearisland/perryisle): You use bright colors in your art all the time so we got the colors goingggg. Little guy reminds me of Pumpkin Patch protagonist or Hollow Knight. Idk. Not much to say except TRIPLE DEATH SLIME BARRAGE!!!

No normal music for you. only Kevin Macleod and Pizza Tower ST.

A-s-levynn: More Dark Sun Gwyndolin inspiration… (you can tell I have my dark souls art books open next to me right now). As requested, tendrils/tentacles were added! I think it improved the design a whole lot because it was originally very symmetrical and the tentacles added just the right amount of asymmetry to balance out the overall look. I’m a huge fromsoft fan (playing Elden Ring, waiting for new DLC, have dark souls 1 remastered but haven’t started it yet, have bloodborne Elden ring and DS1/3 art books) so lots of my art has elements from Fromsoft games (neutron activation).

And just like everyone else, some music for the soul:

Too Late - 311

Scared Together - Silversun Pickups

Dark Signs - eepy coin

Foundationsofdecay: Again, taking more inspiration from your blog, colors and stuff. The design had subconscious influence from the game sky: children of the light. Had lotsa fun coloring it. I don’t know much about you like favorite colors or flowers but I tried my best!

Songs that inspired me:

Let It Happen - Tame Impala

Flux - Bloc Party

Rain - tired currency

Polteergeistt: The oarfish colors… A lot Of these characters have cool blues so I tried to use some teal blues to contrast the red/pink(?). “Nintendo switch core” I’m sobbing. I fixed the feet. Now my Pinterest is filled to the brim with fish images (specifically oarfish, sea jellies, and blue lobsters).

The music!!!!!:

UNDERWATER BOI - Turnstile

The Illness (Teenagers Remix) - GoodBooks

Descending - exhausted dollar

Thank you so much. All of you are such lovely people. 🫂💕🫶

[finedinereception]

Why is Sirius on your brain SO much?

Explain in Mario terms

make my brain go -flag pole noise-

haha okay but actually here we go. this is disorganized and more me vomiting my thoughts out and making you look at him but yknow.

the black hole server: the most soul sucking and messed up place to live since america

thanks for the insightful commentary, buddy

so sirius lives the life of the average True Gamer, in a dark hole full of anime figurines and merchandise or whatever. he likes adding to that collection and then fucking around with it because bloodsport really never died to him. who cares what ign had to say.

unfortunately, like all gamers, his home is not hospitable to most life.

weaker em beings apparently “enervate and die” within the server. thats delightfully fucked up, and honestly, a vast empty, dark, cold space that sucks the life out of pretty much everything around it and is only truly habitable to one lifeform is an insanely cool idea that i always love.

uh…. roche limit????

obviously, with such an unfriendly gamer den, sirius himself does not get a lot of company.

we’ll come back to this next section.

but basically the black hole server is a really cool idea and location that really serves to emphasize what an outside-context issue sirius is. he feels very “other” in this world, in part thanks to where hes made his home.

with friends like these, who needs mega man?

sirius has some… interesting ideas about what is good and reasonable for people. or what constitutes a healthy platonic relationship. actually just relationships in general.

i think its interesting he jumped straight to this with mega man, when he also harbored apollo flame, who was pretty damn open about his intentions to eventually usurp and subjugate sirius

WHICH SIRIUS WAS AWARE OF BTW

apollo flame! oh, you, always on about taking over the universe!

this is weird to say, with what we know about sirius in general and his personality (which we’ll be getting to soon) but… theres this pervasive sense that he views the Rs as a mix between pawns and, like, his perverse version of “friends”

the use of “our” here is interesting, along with the implication that sirius shares more information with them than he actually needs to

and the fact that sirius has the tendency to start talking to himself in the middle of a conversation…

and the fact that he enforces a friendly relationship between those who dont get along…

theres just a weird sense of sirius “playing” with dynamics, and while its certainly useful to him, its easy to imagine a hint of curiousity in there. the exploration of one of the only things that cant be taken by force.

of course you have blue skin and pronouns

look at him. look at him. hes based on a squid. hes got that squid drip. i think sirius would be into deep sea life. im choosing to view this as an in-character choice. he likes squid now, okay?

also. he canonically sparkles. LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THIS SPARKLING SQUID TWINK. GOD. HE MAKES ME INSANE.

i also dont know where else to mention this, but hey what was up with mu metal. is he tied to mu. what was that about lmao. bro got pica.

he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces

he is so fucking stupid😭

the main, and final, thing i want to bring up is his extreme case of blue and orange morality. because being rude is worse than destroying a planet to him.

from here on out ill be using direct quotes since i actually have access to these and writing and ive hit image limit. what can i say theres so much i want you to look at.

Sirius: ... I don't need that rude EM being for my collection. 

and

Sirius: I was hoping to enjoy watching everyone on the planet panic for a bit... But I suppose destroying it outright would be fun too. 

back to back is an interesting display of standards. but id go further and argue that… sirius doesnt really act with malice.

MegaMan: Peoples lives... Planets... They aren't toys for you to play with. Have you even considered the pain you are putting all those people down there though? Sirius: Everything here will cease to exist. A black hole has no need for such things as emotions. You should... be happy. You will live forever within the darkness. You will be mine. MegaMan: I wouldn't call that living! I'd rather not exist! Sirius: ...I see. Do you think that you might change your mind? Stopping you without causing you any injury would be a bit of a nuisance to me. It will be hard for us to play together with you injured.

and you could argue that this is an attempt at persuasion… except that sirius doesnt really need that. hes pretty confident in his ability to win a fight, so id argue this is genuinely just how he thinks. his fascination with destroying things is processed not with malicious intent but the same perverse curiosity that drives a child to pour water on an ant hill.

mean spirited? yeah, but its all in good fun to him.

hes the living version of all those jokes about a person who never talks to other people or goes outside or anything. hes had his own little bubble to develop the most deranged moral compass and interal narrative of all time.

tl;dr - ITS HARD TO NOT THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT

[c0rvidbones]

Pinned Post

because apparently thats a thing now. i promise im at least dimly aware of whats going on <3

- my art blog is @c0rvidbones-art pls check there for any writing or art you wish to see!

— call me corvid, obsidian, or observatory! its the general names for our online presence. this is a did system, but we tend to not talk about it because we prefer to keep much info about ourselves to close/irl friends only. we also dont often use we/us often, only when actively referring to the entire system. pronouns!

— i have like a metric ton of ocs that i will never shut up about if given the chance. if youd like to get to know them youre EXTREMELY welcome to send an ask, ill eventually be adding a link to a masterlist carrd to this post that gives a quick image, name, and snippet of info about them all. or at least all the ones that have art lmao. for now, heres my toyhou.se

— i dont actively participate in fandom things, but i do have a List of interests that will be added to as i think of them:

cult of the lamb

in stars and time

simon petrikov. i am gripping you by the shoulders.

dnd (taz, bg3, i also just Play Dnd)

greek mythology (actual mythology but also a long list of video games)

percy jackson (most of rick riordans series but im sorry kane chronicles sadie is too infuriating)

old gods of appalachia

cosmere / general brandon sanderson novels

cosplay crafting (current fixation: chainmail)

good omens

house md (i promise im normal about it)

ofmd

wwdits

loz (especially the latest two but ive loved the series as a whole for a long time)

this fucking post

trigun (98 and 23!)

— tags to find me under are #c0rvidspeaks, #c0rvidanimates, and #c0rviddraws for the occasional times i actually make an original post or share my art

— that being said i dont post my own stuff often, usually because i dont think i have anything interesting to say. im working through this so bear with me (and if you want to encourage me to talk on here then the #ask me about my ocs tag is exactly where you can start) (this is not me fishing i just tend to keep to myself) (but i like to ramble in the tags)

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

This might sound a bit dumb, but I have an AU idea where Pepper Mint somehow manages to retain control of his Pepperminteppi form & escape with Cadebra. Cadebra: "So my friend is now an immortal Primordial being that can use massive amounts of black magic. Nice." The Cult has to deal with their God not wanting anything to them (& also being in Wizard Jail for, y'know, murdering children).

OK HIIIIIIIIIIIIII

absolute delight and excitement and beige comics under the cut let's go insane

first off this is such a fun idea but i kept getting stuck because how did they get out if he didnt get at least a little violent? they were in a Situation. thats why he started blasting in the first place in the movie! he kills everyone holding cadebra and then kills everyone else who is looking at the two of them funny, and he tells her to get out before he starts hurting her too. but anyways i digress. au! my polite little boy uou (transcipts in image descs to save on space. i realize i should be doing this in the first place to be more accessible but i dont do it. ay. someday ill get over that brain hurdle)

the profs are so. blank eyed about being Stopped. that’s their GOD. they want him to do the prophesied deeds! but he’s not. “aren’t you our god now” no I’m just that kid but I have this primordial god deity chilling giving me horrible advice now in my head. awful. thanks. i just learned real fast real hard how to love and trust myself

and then also i was like. well like. w. what is everyone gonna say. not nice things. thats a scary insect boy (WHY HE INSECT? IVE NEVER DRAWN PEPPERMINTEPPI PROPERLY BEFORE AND ITS KILLING ME WHY IS HE A BEETLLEEEEE).

and also also. also. ???? drinking the ichor SUCCESSFULLY, is quite literally what og peps just,, keeps saying will Recreate Him, OG Peps, so i guess he did that (?? HELLO) or something similar when he was little but as you can tell he did not uh. keep the scary beetle body. maybe he didnt have a bestie to protect

anyways. so. pep likes being big. :)

also have this

poor pep trying to mediate between the gay idiot he used to be in his head (not the gay idiot he still is) and the giant scary monster from the before-nothingtimes he just willingly added to the vr chat

and his poor fuckin teachers

(ron james is too old and anxious for this shit and life giving magus has a thing about not letting people feel sad :( hes an Emotions Wizard being sad makes him do Evil Magic did you watch the episode Little Dude? gotta keep his students feeling loved and safe or else. especially when they’re um. imbued with massive amounts of dark magic. sorry I like the them)

i also have this from discord

I don’t know how to end this post this au is fun. none of the kids and few of the adults know the significance of this guy. pep is like hnnnnn just wanna be a normal kid but also scarypowerfulbig. enough. to protect. blaines over here like we are not letting him in the school like that are we and weaponhead is like well. the important thing is we aren’t letting the murderers back in. Blaine.

Maybe larry (cousin got fucking murdered by the teachers) and pep (reached level 100,000 just by drinking juice and now kinda scares everyone) drop out together. just chill quiet together. what do wizards even DOOOOOO, get COFFEE??? make up entirely new schools of magic kinda like those jerky secret societies but less jerky (ron James s6e13 “thanks for the crabapples giussepe”)????? just sit around and wait for Blaine (RULES GUY) and Deb (needs structure in her life and thinks school is fun) to get out of class so they can go do things?

also also I was gonna be Sad tm that you said pep was immortal now, but I insist on believing that wizards have long lifespans. so it’s not like Deb and blaine and larry just fucking DIE ten seconds into pep’s infinite life. they’re there. for a while. (:

[a1li-ens]

OK TESTING POSTING WRITING HERE... IM VERY EMBARRASSED BUT ILL TRY NOT TO IMMEDIATELY DELETE THIS (´>ω<;)

I wrote pwp of my ocs Abel and Micah on my phone on a long flight in a fugue state. idk if its good. read it and find out???? its them fucking with Abel in his nun outfit idk what to tell you (18+)

(not a scene in canon so doesn't have spoilers really I think. is it a spoiler my OC would date a canon love interest in a romance game.)

under the cut! around 2k words

Characters if you don't know my OCs by now. Info is on here: https://toyhou.se/alli_ens/characters

Abel- human nun guy

Micah- Angel guy

pardon if the formatting is fucked I was braindead writing this !

---

m” Abel, I’m not sure if I really want to bring this up, but you were a nun, weren’t you?”

a” hm? Yeah, I was. What about it?”

m” Not long after we met, you told me you would show me your “little nun outfit”. I'm somewhat curious.”

a”Oh, have you been thinking about it the whole time? Sure, I’ll go put it on."

m”ah, alright."

(Abel steps out to change. Even though it’s a simple costume, it still takes him twice as long as anyone else would. Micah doesn’t know what convinced him to ask to see in the first place, but now the suspense is bothering him)

a”Ready! Well, what do you think?”

( Abel is dressed in the full outfit, the long dress and habit. Of course, he's added heels to the ensemble. Though he's fully covered, something about the way the long, black skirt clinging to his form- is getting to Micah. He’d never once considered the outfit attractive on anyone else, but on Abel, he’s spellbound.)

m”ah, oddly, it suits you. Though, I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to see this, somehow."

a”hoho, does that excite you?"

m”...I can’t say it doesn’t."

a” Is blasphemy even possible for you?"

m” (getting increasingly flustered) Not like this. At least, I think so. Perhaps it’s just offensive to those who pray to us? Ah. It's a strange feeling. "

a” hmhm, interesting. Are you going to confess to God after this?"

m”...I think I will. "

a”Great! Let's give you more to tell him about. "

(Abel gracefully kneels in front of Micah, neatly tucking the fabric of his skirt beneath him. With an all too charming smile, He clasps his bare, scarred hands together in prayer, looking up at Micah from the ground.

 Abel starts some kind of prayer. Micah considers himself a great listener, but in this case, it’s proving too difficult. If he were to be honest, he’d admit to having no idea what Abel was saying. He’s probably saying something obscene. His mind is far too occupied with the image of Abel gazing up at him with even feigned reverence to even consider his words. )

a”....And finally, I thank you, Holy Father, for delivering unto me my absolutely hopeless boyfriend, who hasn’t listened to a word I’ve said. Amen”

m”oh, I was listening, really.”

a”Suuuuuuuuuuure. Apologize to God for lying as well when you talk to him. From this angle, I can see you’re a bit preoccupied~" (He reaches out and pokes Micah’s raging erection through his pants)

m”Abel, you’re toying with me. "

a” Not as much as I could be! Stay where you are. "

(Micah is perplexed for a moment, before Abel leans up slightly and unzips Micah’s fly with his teeth. Freeing Micah’s cock, Abel swiftly takes it into his mouth, his lips still in a smile. The scene was tempting enough before, but now, Micah can barely take it. It looks as though Abel is worshiping his body in place of god,  Ah, it’s intoxicating. 

While it’s nothing especially out of the ordinary for him, Abel can’t help the arousal from acting disgraceful in a nun outfit, especially with a hopelessly pious man like Micah. And seeing him so into it as well, like he’s corrupted him, an accomplice in blasphemy! It’s just too much fun. Making sure Micah can see, Abel bunches up his skirt around his waist, stroking his own cock as he sucks Micah’s. If it’s a show he wants, that’s what he’ll get. )

m”Ah- ah, Abel- It’s coming, please, don’t stop, ah-"

(Micah thrusts into Abel’s throat roughly, still watching Abel, frenzied as he watches his cock disappear into his mouth. Abel takes him to the hilt, moaning and gasping around him, pushing Micah over the edge, coming hard into Abel’s mouth loud and shameless. 

Pulling away, Abel licks his tip, drinking up all of it. looking delighted, smiling at Micah with flushed cheeks, Micah thinks Abel looks beautiful. )

m”Ah, haah.. Thank you, that’s always incredible."

a” I bet it is. Enjoy the show?"

m”I did. whatever that says about me. "

a”hmhm, I like that. "

m” …Do you want me to return the favor?”

a”Oh? Yes, but I don’t think the nun outfit is your size or anything. "

m”I meant the sexual favor. not the outfit. "

a” Ooh. right. I’ll take that too! Haha, kneel down like I did then. "

( Abel stands as Micah hesitantly kneels before him. Still dizzy from pleasure, Micah fumbles with getting Abel's skirt out of the way, until Abel pulls up the hem like a curtsy, showing off his still hard cock. )

M” aah. I have no experience with this, so go easy on me. "

A” can I translate that as ‘wowww, you're so huge that I'm going to have trouble fitting it in my mouth’?"

M” no, you may not. "

(Micah, still hesitating and red in the face like he has a fever, first licks the tip. It's warm on his tongue. He tries licking down the shaft, getting used to it being so close to him. Looking down at Micah licking it so hesitantly, with his brows furrowed in concentration, Abel's having a bit too much fun. Gently but still suddenly, Abel thrusts his hips towards Micah, making it enter his mouth, muffling some kind of complaint from him. So cute. 

Micah, once used to the size of it in his mouth (albeit quicker than he intended) tries to slowly take Abel deeper. He always deepthroats his so easily, surely it can't be that difficult? 

It was, in fact, difficult. Micah has to release him to take a breath, gasping from his gag reflex. If it was anyone else doing it, this would have been in Abel's top 10 worst blowjobs he'd received, but the fact it's someone as uptight and inexperienced as Micah- who's working so hard to please him, means it's even more exciting like this. )

A- "careful, you have to work up to that, obviously. Suck it harder, you won't hurt me."

(Micah, with his pride wounded, tries sucking, holding the base of Abel’s cock to stop himself taking too much in. Finally, it's feeling good instead of being slowly torturous. 

Precum starts forming at the tip. Wait. What? Why is he so bitter and salty? It's weird. He doesn't really enjoy the taste. In fact,he expected something better.Micah releases him, looking confused.)

M” Abel. Why is the taste so bitter, are you cursed there, too?”

(Abel can't help laughing uncontrollably)

A” that's normal for humans! God, only angels have sugary nectar or whatever coming out! Since ours actually has a biological purpose.Back to it. "

( Micah looks up with a puzzled, embarrassed expression, and resumes. Getting used to the bitter,salty taste, it's actually kind of addictive. Abel's got nothing sweet about him anyway, so this makes sense, regardless of the culture shock. Sucking harder and taking him a bit deeper, Abel starts moaning softly, and throbbing within Micah’s mouth. )

A” aaah, Micah- I'm close, stop if you don't want a facial, haah-"

(Micah doesn't stop, he wants it. He keeps going until Abel's further losing himself to the pleasure)

A” Micah! Really I mean it, aaahhh, you can stop - I'm coming, come on, aah,hah!"

( Micah stays put, he wants to see this through. Abels fingers tangle in the back of Micah's hair as he climaxes, moaning and panting roughly. Even with the warning, Abel's cum fills Micah's mouth a lot more deeply than he expected, the overwhelming taste sinking into his brain. In this sole moment, Micah understands what incubi are after. Unsure what else to do,Micah swallows with Abel still in his mouth, wincing slightly at the intensity of it. Releasing Abel, he licks his lips to not make a mess, and looks up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. Oh. He never looks this red.)

A "Micah?? Aaah. You. You swallowed it. Haha.. "

M( with a more hoarse voice than he expected)" is that not alright?"

A "it's alright but- hahahh. It's really slutty.. you're really slutty to swallow on your first time. Aaahhh. God."

M"you really have to stop saying that about me, haah... I'll swallow it next time too, if it gets you flustered like this. "

A"you're going to kill me at this rate. And here I thought I could see your pretty little face dripping with cum, so sad."

M” Ah, I'd really rather swallow it than that."

A” you don't see why I'd like to see it? You don't enjoy seeing yours dripping off my face? "

M” fine, I understand where you're coming from. "

A” you admit it!” 

(Abel kneels back on the floor with Micah, both of them breathing heavily. Wordlessly, Abel cups his hand around Micah’s cheek, looking into his eyes. It's not often Abel gets like this, Micah can only assume it's some sense of him being loving or bashful, but he could never be sure if that was the truth, or just wishful thinking. Whatever it was, he's really cute acting like this. Times like this remind Micah why he is so hopelessly in love with him. Micah kisses him sweetly, he can't help it)

A” mmn, what?"

M” nothing, I just wanted to."

A” oh, here I thought you were going to ask for another round, haha."

M” I wasn't. ( he buries his face in the small of Abel’s neck.) I guess I'm not opposed to more, though."

A”hah, you never really get tired, do you? Fine by me. You can call the shots tonight."

M” ah, alright. Stay as you are."

(Micah kisses Abel while pushing him down to the ground by the shoulders. He didn't want to wait to move to the bed. Still kissing passionately, Micah’s hands travel across Abel’s clothed body, loosening his familiar collar, kissing beneath it hungrily. It would be a shame to take the outfit off though, he thinks. Unfastening it at the front, he leaves it on, instead pulling the hem of the skirt up around Abel’s thighs. )

A” heh, you really do like the dress, don't you? "

M” yes, since you're the one wearing it."

( Abel has no answer to that. 

Micah pushes Abel’s legs open, fingering him with two fingers from the get-go, scissoring them open. Abel whines and gasps, his lithe body trembling, the dress cascading around his exposed cock. Abel wants to rile Micah up a bit more.)

A” aahh- no- I'm a servant of God, aa~hn, I mustn't! What if the other sisters find out? "

( Micah stops moving briefly, but understands what Abel is aiming for.)

M "God isn't watching, we're all alone.( he pauses, before shoving Abel’s thighs apart further and lining up his cock) and He can't stop me."

A '' then, haah, O Father, forgive me! Forgiv- HaaAah! ��"

( Micah thrusts into Abel, slamming him into the ground with each movement. Groping at his cool skin beneath the folds of his skirt, he can't get enough of him. Taking the waist tie from the dress, Micah stops briefly and binds Abel's wrists together above his head, the unfastened fabric falling off his body, framing it. 

Against the floor and under Micah’s control, Abel feels incredible. Swinging his legs around Micah’s waist to pull him into him deeper, bringing his bound hands around Micah's neck. Trying to kiss him, yet moaning too much to do it properly.)

M” (whispering into Abel’s ear) you belong to me now, not to the God you have forsaken. You're all mine. "

( his words go straight to Abel’s dick, now about to come)

A” aahh-ahh, Micah- Ah!"

M” Abel.. haah, come with me, now."

( Thrusting hard into Abel as he comes, Micah moans into his shoulder, sinking his teeth in, hard enough to draw blood. Funny, that tastes strange, too. Licking it up, Micah pumps Abel's cock as he comes, triggering release for both of them. Thrashing around, Abel manages to free his wrists, throwing his arms around Micah's shoulders, passionately kissing him amongst moans and gasps. Filling up with a sweet warmth, tremors shake through Abel’s body, coming onto Micah’s stomach, and the fabric of his dress. )

(The two collapse side by side on the ground, their labored breathing seeming to echo through the apartment. Rolling to face him, Micah kisses Abel softly. )

M”you know I would rather make love to you than the characters you make up, right?

A” shut up, you were really into that. "

M” haah, maybe.”

A” well, we're not going again. ( he winces, moving his body) That floor hurt you know! "

M” since when has pain actually bothered you?"

A” touchē. Whatever, be good and carry me to the bed, will you?"

M” of course. "

( Micah scoops up Abel gently and carries him. Micah places him on the bed, moving his fringe aside to kiss him softly, then turning- before Abel grabs his wrist to stop him leaving. )

A” wherever you’re going… it can wait. I want you here. "

(Micah can barely believe his ears, so he silently obliges, getting under the covers. Abel turns and holds him, his face buried into his chest)

M” I love you too, Abel."

A” fuck off. Go to sleep. "

----

THANK YOU FOR READING... PLS TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... UNLESS YOU THINK ITS CRINGE... BECAUSE IM NEW TO WRITING OF COURSE IT IS CRINGE !! IM FREE !!! BUT TELL ME ANYTHING ELSE 💖

[sundaypenacony]

⋆｡°★ [4] Thoughts about the new leaks

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ WARNING: This post will talk about a lot of story leaks and character leaks in general. This post will talk about an analysis I did before which mentions a religious cult named "The Family" by David Brandt Berg which is known for SA but besides that, it is also known for, abuse, shunning, religious discrimination, conversion therapy, ritual abuse, child abuse, etc.

Credit to StepLeaker for the leaks.

*Evily rubs hands together* It's finally time for Penguin to start putting his thoughts down again about the new leaks we got...

I put all the leaks I want to talk about in a document and uhm... it's a lot. So sit back, get some water and enjoy reading!

⋆｡°★ Sunday's character description

⋆｡°★ Sunday's HD headshot

(Like the criminal he is- /j)

Now that we can see his design clearer again let's look at what we got!

Well, we can now much clearer see the amount of crosses his design has but also a couple of words that are added in the design. Some of the crosses kept reminding me of the Celtic cross, but I believe these crosses are not any specific crosses and don't really hold a specific meaning to Sunday in particular (I came on this conclusion after searching for 30 minutes on the Internet what kind of connection they could have to Sunday- sob).

In Christian Art, however, the sword is often depicted as being held by the Archangel Michael, who is considered to be the chief of the angels and archangels. In Christian angelology, the seraphim are the highest-ranking celestial beings in the hierarchy of angels.

First image: Guido Reni's Archangel Michael Trampling Lucifer, 1636 Second Image: Angelic Council, Orthodox icon of the seven archangels, left to right: Jegudiel, Gabriel, Selaphiel, Michael, Uriel, Raphael, Barachiel. Beneath the mandorla of Christ-Immanuel (God is with us) are representations of Cherubim (blue) and Seraphim (red).

⋆｡°★ Sunday's description

While reading a little I do really wonder why the Oak Family invited Sunday out of everyone to help out with the hypersomnia mutation. He probably worked at a certain type of "Church" looking at his outfit, so he probably already had a good name for himself then.

As seen in the leaks we came to understand that there are six major families that basically rule the Penacony. The first ruler of the Penacony was Hanunu who is Misha's father. Misha is another leaked character who seems to play an important role in the story.

About Misha: The Star Dome Railway recognizes him as a member of the Nameless Guests and promises to find a way to take him on a journey with them one day.

Hanunu died of an illness which made him unable to solve the problem they had. After he died, Sunday was invited by the Oak Family to help find a solution to the hypersomnia mutation crisis that takes place in Penacony. Penacony is divided into multiple Dreamscapes which I will get into more later.

Sunday proposed to use the Stellaron that was being kept by Hananu to create a "wedge" in the Dreamscape which is called a creation of the Enigmate (A path that corresponds with the Aeon Mythus) which would stabilize the local area of the Dreamscape making Penaconians who are affected by the hypersomnia able to travel through the Dreamscape and seek refuge, allowing them to return to their normal sleep cycle in reality.

The six major families started to vote on this proposal which ended up in a 50/50, they tabled at the instigation of Chachakuka about the proposal but decided to move on to another solution for the time being. When the next Amber Era came after the death of Chachakuka, the Oak Family became the new rulers of Penacony. They turned their attention again to the Stellaron, where they I think from what I understand used the idea of Sunday and performed a ceremony supervised by Sunday with Misha (Hanunu's son) by activating the Stellaron and making Misha become the Dreamscape Lord. Which I think explains the reason why Misha has two designs. After this ceremony, the Dreamscape enveloping Penacony became more peaceful. When Misha makes the wish to the Stellaron he shares some of his authority over the Dreamscape with a character named the Watchmaker which explains why he will play such an important role too in the Dreamscape.

Misha used the Stellaron to create a mutation in the dream world which led to the birth of the monster named Watchmaker which needed several Emanators to defeat. Misha took the Stellaron from Dr. Ratio to save his sick grandfather. In the end, Misha gave up his own dreams and stayed in Penacony, becoming a new pillar of the dream world. The mutant dream, which baffled the powerful, came from a child's imagination.

Mihail, another character whose name awfully reminds me a lot of the Archangel Michael, realizes the Penacony is heading for a different kind of nightmare. He tries to seek out power and negotiate with The Family. Which I don't think ended well because Sunday wants the man dead because he sees him as the biggest obstacle to the Family's expansion.

And now up to Sunday's personality... Ah what do I love a double-faced angel &lt;;3 (DF Enstars mentioned?!?! Okay sorry…). Honestly he interests me so much and knowing one thing for sure is that you don't want to get on this man's bad side.

⋆｡°★ Dreams...

I tried to look more into if there's anything about dreams or the Dreamscape in particular in the game already. In this search, I stumbled on a book in Natasha's Clinic that interested me a little named "Dreamland Analysis".

"The patients attribute it to excessive dreaming, most of which were related to stress from work and life."

The book basically talks a lot about people who have trouble sleeping and "deja vu" some people (like I do... A LOT) experience where they dream about things that will happen in the near future and how weird it is and how dreams can be affected and influenced by others.

This is all far-reaching, but let me be a little delusional alright, but I almost feel like this could me a very sneaky way to talk about what is going in Penacony.

⋆｡°★ Story Leaks

Alright well then! There was a huge story leak about the Penacony world which I would like to dive into a little more... but I sadly will have to move this to another part because I almost hit the maximum amount of images...

When this is out I shall edit this post with a link to it!

Here is part 2!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ THANK YOU FOR READING!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 003

Boat Time.

Okay, so now that I compare Bulma’s boat with the boat from Episode 2, I can see that they’re clearly not the same.  Bulma’s is way bigger, as evidenced by the number of decks. 

So remember how Bulma celebrated her birthday in Battle of Gods?  Well, Dragon Ball Super is just doing that whole party over again, but in this version it’s on a cruise ship, which makes it totally fresh and original.

Everyone’s on their way to the ship, but Krillin and 18 get stuck in traffic, just like they did in Dragon Ball GT when they tried to evacuate the city during the Super 17 Saga.  This time they just get out and fly the rest of the way.  Wait, did they do that in GT too?  Anyway, this time, 17 doesn’t show up and murder Krillin. 

“Why did we even take the car if we could just fly there?” 18 asks. 

“Because it pads out the show more if we do it both ways,” Krillin explains.

Wait, what is up with their car?  It looks like the windshield and the hood go straight down in front of them, like a bus.  This thing isn’t even animated.  It’s just scenery, and they still couldn’t draw it right.  An ill omen to be sure. 

Roshi’s already on the ship, and he’s using the pay-telescope to leer at girls on the beach.  Master Roshi belongs in j-- Wait, I think what he’s doing is legal?  I mean, he’s making a big spectacle of this, but at least he’s not going up to Videl and asking her for panties or some shit. 

I think that nosebleed Roshi is sporting might be the only blood in this whole series. Goku and Vegeta get stabbed later on, but they just sort of pretend like it didn’t do anything. 

Bulma’s all annoyed at Roshi and Oolong’s antics, and once again I have to ask: Why did she invite them?  Do you think they’d care if they got left out of this?  They’d just settle in for an evening watching Pornhub.  Or they could fondle each other in their sleep, like in the Broly movie. 

Buu’s here, and Bulma’s mad at him for eating.  That’s what he does! Why did you invite him if you didn’t want him eating the whole time?  Then she’s mad at Goku and Vegeta for no-showing the party.  Dammit, make up your mind, Bulma! If they showed up, what would they be doing?  Eating?   Yeah.  You can’t win.

Gohan and Videl give Piccolo a photo from their recent wedding.  The gag here is that Piccolo’s eyes were shut, but this was the only photo they managed to get of him, so oh well.  Never mind that.  Two things about this picture.  First, it always bugged me how Gohan’s wearing a white suit, as opposed to the black one he had in the photo from Dragon Ball Z.

I mean, Videl’s hair and dress look different as well, but I could overlook that.  Maybe they changed clothes before the reception? Maybe they had two weddings?  That’d be pretty awesome.  Videl had to divorce Gohan so she could marry Sharpner as part of some elaborate undercover sting operation, and when it was over, they remarried just to make everything nice and legal. 

Anyway, the second thing I want to point out is that I love Goku being the fun dad at the wedding.  He always reminds me of this photo of the band Paper Lace during a commercial for Time Life’s Sounds of the 70′s album.

I guess specifically, Goku looks like the guy with the white tie in the middle.  I’m not even 100% sure that’s Paper Lace in this image, but their song was playing at this point in the ad, so every time I think about Gohan and Videl’s wedding, I think of the song “The Night Chicago Died”. 

In the heat of a summer niiiiiiiiight In the land of the dollar bill When the town of Chicago diiiiied And they talk about it still

When a man named Al Capone Tried to make that town his own And he called his gang to war With the forces of the law

I may have to add this song to my Luffa vs. Goku playlist.  Need some Goku tunes for that one. 

I was mad at myself for getting off-track, but there’s really nothing else to this episode.  Half of it is Beerus struggling to remember the name “Super Saiyan God”, even though he already remembered it in the last episode.  He summons his Oracle Fish to discuss his vision, since the Fish gave a similar prophecy 39 years ago about Beerus meeting his rival on this date.  Oracle Fish doesn’t recall the name, until Beerus threatens to cut back on his feedings.  See, this is dumb, because in the movie, Oracle Fish’s involvement was much more vague, and the fish basically told Beerus what he wanted to hear, without really adding much to the story.  That worked, because it made it unclear whether Beerus was actually onto something or if he was just delusional from being so accustomed to having his own way. 

But in Dragon Ball Super, or at least this arc, Beerus is a lot more villainous, and for no particular reason.  He’s already destroyed eight planets since waking up, and he doesn’t seem to be nearly as fair-minded as he was in the movie.  So he refuses to accept anything less than a straight answer from the Oracle Fish, which kind of defeats the concept of the Oracle Fish.  They might as well call it Spoiler Fish, except Battle of Gods came out two years prior, so it’s actually old news.  Old News Fish.  Doesn’t have the same ring to it.

So Beerus learns about the Saiyans, and how Frieza killed them all (on Beerus’ orders), only for one of the survivors to defeat Frieza by rediscovering the Super Saiyan transformation.  It’s the only lead Beerus has, so they set out to find Goku, who is currently training on the North Kai Planet.

Oh, one other thing.  While discussing Beerus, the Elder Kai mentions that it was Beerus who sealed him in the Z Sword way back in the day.  I think this is the first time that lore got dropped, since Elder Kai was barely in Battle of Gods.  I’ve never been too fond of this idea, since Beerus is a God of Destruction, and not a God of Sealing Guys In Swords.  I’m not saying Beerus wouldn’t seal a guy inside a sword, but it doesn’t seem like his style.  Also, we’ve never seen him display any powers that would suggest this is something Beerus can do. 

Oh, also, King Kai tries to keep Goku distracted from the whole Beerus thing, so he complains about how Goku got him killed during the Cell Games arc, and he never bothered to revive him with the Dragon Balls.  This is bullshit, because in the original cut of Battle of Gods, King Kai didn’t have a halo, implying that he had been resurrected at some point, and then the halo was edited back in. 

Also, the bigger issue is that King Kai’s planet was destroyed in that explosion, and yet it returned in Battle of Gods without explanation. 

What else?  I guess that’s about it.  These early DBS episodes are a real drag to describe.  I just want to get to the good stuff, but that’s a long ways off...

[nathank77]

5/31/24

2:30 a.m Added to/Edited 2:45 a.m

Idk if I'm going to do the 1MG tonight. I'm trying to watch ink master and my eyes have to be glued to the subtitles for two reasons:

1) I need hearing aids bc my speech perception/hearing is not good......

2) the voice is going off talking constantly while I am listening and it gets louder with louder audio... I've been sitting in a lot of fake "silence" today cause even though it's always talking, it's much quieter in silence. Despite that no matter the volume level of the room I'm in is I can make out what it's saying clearly.... I have to pick the dialogue I want to listen to but that doesn't mean I can't hear it. And the more I think about my hallucination the more I hallucinate...... and the more I hallucinate, the more I think about my hallucination... it's a giant awful cycle.

Some days I hallucinate less frequently and I don't think about it as much and then eventually as I get tired I hallucinate more...... and I'm fucking TIRED. But once I get tired and it starts happening more, try to stop thinking about it. Try not to will it away which just makes it stronger and exist more.

I'm not allowed to think about it without creating it.... yet I can't cope with it if I can't think about it. Yet I can't stop thinking about it bc it's almost been a year since my brain permanently broke. I can't even get mad at myself for thinking about it. I can't stop bc it won't stop.

So I'm hardly watching TV, I'm just reading subtitles to hear the dialogue of the tv show I'm watching and drowning out the voice that never stops talking. Can't really watch the images while I read the subtitles....

It's unbearable bc it's worse bc I only got 5 hours of sleep.

I have to worry about tolerance if I do the 1MG and it only makes sense if I do it soon cause the half MG is putting me to sleep.... at 7 a.m or 8 a.m in the morning cause my circadian rhythm is FUCKED.

I'm still worried about my testosterone and I'm worried xanax is going to be a problem cause where is my dr??.....

I really want to die.. I just swiped cause you know I'm eternally alone.. I matched with a fugly ass bitch.

I don't fucking like glasses but if you're going to wear them don't be a fucking weirdo. Do black simple frames or small simple frames. Cecile wore glasses, her glasses were small and I mean not black. Kinda girly. But they worked for her... like she looked cute in them. They were simple...

This girl- my god, this is why I don't like girls with glasses..... and beyond that distort your fucking face in half your photos and then show the real thing.

Yea I'm ugly on the inside but if I had a color printer I'd make a fucking scrapbook diary on paper. With printed out photos and this is my fucking diary so I'm going to be ugly on the inside..

Speaking of, facial hair please grow back fast. I made a big mistake. I look like a hick but I won't shave it all off. EVER.

She's a single mother. Not an issue but I'd rather vomit than consider a girl with fucking rainbow glasses and sparky glasses that take up half her face and she doesn't look like those two photos. Distort your face why don't you?

If you think I'm ugly on the inside for this when I was a teenager I used to print out photos and glue it to my diary... and like I said this is my diary and I'm raw here for a fucking reason. I'd rather fucking vomit than consider her. Even in her distorted photos.

This is my memior, the good, the bad and the ugly. This is what I'm leaving behind when I take my life or die. I'm leaving behind, the words of a mentally ill guy who fought like hell. Who was strong and vulnerable and beautiful and ugly on the inside. The raw truth exposed.

She is the reason I hate fucking glasses on people. They always go so big and fucking ugly. Cecile's were simple and cute. If I date someone with glasses let me tell you it won't be some fugly glasses like this.

Fucking go small and have normal colors!!

[j-graysonlibrary]

The Xiang Chronicles: Book Four Chapter 34

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book Four

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 118k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: In order to save the world from the continuous subjugation and potential annihilation at the hands of Tiandi, hard lines must be drawn. The Great Spirits that were imprisoned ages ago must be unsealed and awakened, no matter the consequences.

The players are divided—those who stand blindly with Tiandi, such as Xiang Merra and her disciples versus those who want to tear the system down and give the power back to the people. Even a few of the most religious Lords change their minds when they learn the truth of the world—that Tiandi is no more than a dictator with no love in his heart.

It is up to the last, real Xiang and the ill-fated Chaaya to put everything they have into tearing God from his throne and creating new possibilities for the future.

Full chapter 34 under the cut

Chapter XXXIV:

Pangu heard Baiya’s voice, calling out from one of the balconies on the tower. Still keeping the barrier ready at the tips of his fingers, his head snapped up to see the two dots up above.

Unfortunately, Salamander saw them too.

“More vile humans?!” The Great Spirit bellowed. “Insolent parasites! To think you can overpower me!”

He threw his tail into the side of the palace, crushing walls and raining stone down below. Pangu’s heart stopped and his entire body tensed.

Surely Baiya and Kira had dodged the attack.

Surely they had gotten away.

The last of the rubble settled as dust plumed upward making it impossible to tell if either of them was still up there. Pangu held onto faith—he had to—but Loa screamed out in agony.

“BAIYA!” Fire lit upon her finger tips and she shot up at the spirit.

It would do nothing to Salamander and Pangu was sure Loa knew that as well. Her fireballs were simply absorbed into his body and offered little more than a distraction. But, that was what she wanted.

“Come down here!” she screamed, sending fireball after fireball, “Come! Down!”

“Please!” Ashoka added, still on her perch ahead and to their left.

“He will not listen to reason until he is calm,” Pangu said, trying to keep focused on the task at hand. Even if his mind wanted him to show him the most gruesome images it could conjure of what might have become of Baiya and Kira, he did not allow it to slow him down.

“I am trying to calm him!” Ashoka snapped.

Salamander, surprisingly, began to slither away from the mountain and palace. He grasped the nearest tall building and hoisted his weight onto it, crushing part of the roof as he settled. “You are growing weak, dog of Tiandi.” His eyes pierced into Ashoka as flames lapped around his mouth. “Soon, I will devour you and all of your ilk.”

She held her staff tight in her grip. “If you would listen…Tiandi does not want to destroy you or seal you again. He genuinely wants your help.”

“What?” Phay asked with a scowl, turning to look more at the disciple than at the Great Spirit.

Pangu did not tear his eyes away from Salamander, however. He knew he could not let his guard slip for a second with how unpredictable the spirit had been. The protection of Phay and Loa was paramount to all else. Salamander’s pacification came second.

Ashoka continued, her arms shaking under the pressure and fear, not to mention how long she had probably been chasing Salamander since freeing him. “We have a deal ready…if you would, please…”

“Turn on my brethren?” Salamander boomed as he used the rooftops to get closer. His claws latched onto stone and the buildings with weaker constitutions crumbled under him. Despite that, most likely, not being his intent, he still descended to the ground as if it was his plan all along.

Really, he did not need to keep the high ground anyway. His head easily rose to be eye-level with Ashoka.

“You will be serving Tiandi to keep balance and, after all is said and done, he will offer you a spot in the spirit realm by his side.”

Pangu wondered if she truly believed those terms would suit any Great Spirit or if she was just reciting whatever Tiandi, or more likely, Merra had told her.

Phay, on the other hand, felt sick and disappointed all at once. She had been disgusted by Ashoka already—just the mere idea of being a citizen of Agni while working under the current Xiang was shameful enough but this was a new low.

Would she bury her own nation? Her own people? Just for some power? Fame? It was against everything Agni stood for and Phay found herself wishing that Salamander would roast her alive.

“And what good does that do me?” The Great Spirit hissed and wound his body between a few tight buildings so that his head came closer to Ashoka. His heat pulsed against the air, sending out waves in intervals.

“You were known to treasure power above all else, right?” Ashoka’s voice shook but she continued to stand her ground. “You sought to be the strongest of the spirits—the-the greatest. This…this will give you that position. You will be immortalized as the Great Spirit who saved the world! Who sided with Tiandi and defeated the terrible Shakti!”

Salamander stared for a long moment, his flames crackling loudly in the air as everyone remained silent. Then his mouth creased and it appeared as if his lip curled upward.

“Disgusting,” he muttered and, even if his voice was quieter than usual, the tremor of it was still felt through the city.

He reared back his front claw and slammed it toward Ashoka. She was quick with a barrier of flame to combat his fire-coated body but her barrier snapped on contact. The blowback sent Salamander’s claw and her in opposite directions.

She disappeared somewhere behind a nearby building but there was no time to speculate whether she was alive or dead. At the very least, her efforts of recruiting the Great Spirit were probably at their end.

Pangu began to pull Phay and Loa back, taking silent but quick steps backward. His eyes scanned the rubble around them, attempting to plot out where they could position themselves to stand the best chance at survival. As he found a potential trump card, he breathed out in relief.

With his right hand, he grabbed the side of Loa’s sleeve. “Do you see that building over there? There is some rubble that leads to a high ground. Head up there and keep an eye out.” Then he turned to Phay and pointed to a secure looking building with a crevice to hide under. “You wait there, I will hold him off and try to talk.”

“Wait!” Phay yelled but he did not stop.

They were both far too underprepared for this—he was not even sure he was prepared.

He raised a shield of fire around himself as he ran forward, toward Salamander. The Great Spirit stepped to the side, watching with interest.

“So, you would face off against me as well?” He started to turn as Pangu darted through an opening between his legs, racing to the other side. “Pray to your weak God and see if he saves you!”

Pangu slid down, barely avoiding a swipe of the spirit’s claw. He rolled, becoming coated in dust, and then hopped back onto his feet. Thankfully, he had landed right where he needed to.

With a pop of air, he removed the lid from the well that had, somehow, come out of the ordeal entirely unscathed. He drew water from the source and took a short, quick breath.

“Listen, Salamander,” he shouted, “I will not bargain with you as Ashoka did. I will simply tell you my purpose in seeking you out!”

The Great Spirit cared little in listening and charged forward, mouth ablaze. When Pangu threw a wave of water at him, dousing the flames along his face and his front claws, he paused and shook his head. The fire did relight but it took a second and confusion also blossomed in that time.

“What…? You…”

Pangu held more water in the air, at the ready. “My name is Shu Pangu Min and I was once the Xiang—a master of all of this world’s elements and a puppet to Tiandi. But I have come to know the truth about the past and I have been freeing the other Great Spirits once trapped by the God of the Cosmos. All of your brethren, I have helped be free—you were the last!”

From her hiding spot in the rubble, Phay could barely see but she could hear. Pangu was making his case though she felt Salamander would probably not listen. Her eyes flickered up to where Loa was and then back to the city square where her vision was filled with flames.

“What proof have you of your claims?” Salamander demanded.

“As of this moment, none.”

The spirit laughed. “Bold but do not become so cocky—even if what you say is true, I have no desire stronger than that of destruction. Whether or not my brethren want to help the humans of this world matters little to me. This place is unsalvageable—the moment that God descended and made a mockery of us and our mother, it was as good as dead to me. I would sooner burn everything and start again than work alongside those who bowed their heads to that tyrant!”

Phay gripped the handle of her sword with her non dominant but uninjured hand. She furrowed her brow and climbed out from the rubble, unable to take it anymore.

Pangu, for all of his efforts, would get nowhere with someone so nihilistic.

She ran down the street, not turning to look when Loa called out for her. Instead, her eyes stayed on her goal and, when she got close enough, she threw her sword at the spirit’s back.

He was not impaled by the blade but that had not been her intention anyway. She only needed to capture his attention and that was a success. His flames rose higher along his body as he turned, furious at the interruption.

“Do you not value your life, worm?”

“I am no worm,” Phay snapped and walked even closer. The waves of his heat were intense but she could withstand it. She needed to. “I am a lord of Agni and I find your approach cowardly.”

“Phay!” Pangu yelled out in warning but she did not budge.

Salamander laughed and his tongue, bathed in flame the same as everywhere else, flicked across his lips. “Cowardly, you say? I would be delighted to know how.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You would sooner burn this place and start over than help? Not wanting to help is one thing but wishing to give up? To start from scratch? Only someone who is out of options does that. Or, someone who is too weak to endure the struggle of changing things the hard way. Is that you, Salamander? A weak quitter?”

“Phay?!” That was Pangu and Loa.

The Great Spirit recoiled and, for a second, his flames dampened. “A quitter? And how would you describe the humans that bowed under the rule of Tiandi? Forgetting their roots and prostrating themselves before a new power?”

Phay shook her head. “I cannot speak for the people of the time but I can say that, all people, no matter where they are from, tend to endure under the conditions given to them—whether they enjoy their station or not. And, if you had looked around at the people of Agni before jumping straight to destruction you would have seen that the majority of us do not accept Tiandi as our God. We see him for what he really is—an overpowered dictator. I, certainly, would never bow my head to anyone. I care not what strength they may possess. My will is always and will always be stronger.”

She gulped and took Salamander’s silence as her opportunity to continue.

“I believe you know the value of pushing through despite all odds. It is the basis of true strength and the pride of Agni. You simply forgot in your rage.”

The flames along Salamander’s body sank and fluttered much closer to him. A few spots glowed blue for a second before disappearing entirely. His skin was far darker without the fire bringing him to life but his eyes still shined a vibrant orange.

“You have the heart I once treasured in mankind…”

Phay walked closer, no longer having a wall of heat to pass through. “Help us fight Tiandi and those true cowards among his forces. Afterward, I will help to reignite the kind of world you remember. The kind of world you can be proud of.”

“You…” Salamander stared down at her, slowly blinking each eye and just as slowly leaning down. “You would be the only lord I would wish for Agni. I shall choose you to bind my will to but be warned: should you dissatisfy me in any way, I will not hesitate to reinstate another.”

“I accept.”

Phay watched as he combust in flames once more but, somehow, they were no longer hot. His form also shrank within the light and, soon, there was little more than a hovering ball of fire.

“Call me by name if you should need me,” he said before the last flame, as well, disappeared.

She fell to her knees and let out a long, forceful exhale. Pangu reached her first, kneeling beside her with a hand on her back.

“Are you alright?”

“What were you thinking!?” Loa yelled as she hurried over.

Phay coughed and took another couple of rough breaths but she smiled through it. She glanced up at Pangu and said, “You were being too soft. He needed a firmer hand.”

Pangu frowned. “I thought I was being firm.”

Loa ignored the conversation and wrapped her arms around Phay’s neck, resting her forehead on the lord’s shoulder. “I was so worried…”

“Great job, Phay!” Baiya’s voice broke everyone up and Pangu spun around.

From the direction of the palace, he and Kira walked forward, both as dusty as he was but, otherwise, they appeared completely unharmed.

[pascalishere]

I keep coming back to Every Single Night and Hot Knife by Fiona Apple, specifically their music videos. I think both songs capture my experience with anxiety very well, in different ways.

I know that Every Single Night is almost definitely about OCD, so it does feel disrespectful to say I relate to it. But god, do I relate to it. “And maybe I’d relax, let my breast just bust open” sticks out to me especially, as I feel incapable of relaxing 95% of the time. Anxiety makes you feel like if you stop living in the shadow of it, inside that frenetic space, then you might as well not exist period. The cycle of fighting with your brain, every single night, is all too familiar as well. But I think the music video provides the best possible visual accompaniment to the already excellent song. Because sometimes, you are lying in the dirt covered by snails. Sometimes you’re playing with a hula doll, and sometimes you are the hula doll. Sometimes the world is beautiful and loud and sparkling, and you hate it. The two moments that stick out to me especially are during the second chorus, with the rapid shots of Fiona’s head underwater. Because that’s it, that’s what anxiety feels like to me. Seeing a bad situation through every possible angle in succession, unable to stop yourself. The other bit is when she’s lying in a bed, and there are a bunch of yellow threads coming out of her torso, stretching out towards off-camera places. That’s what anxiety feels like in “calm” moments. I often feel a kind of attachment to every single little detail. I have the uncanny ability to be nervous about anything I can think of. It’s a hard feeling to describe, but I think that image of Fiona in bed nails it.

Regarding Hot Knife, I think it represents the silver lining of anxiety. Once again, great song, reflects how mental illness can affect the entire structure of something. I love how Fiona uses repetition in her music, and I was just able to put my finger on why that is. My therapist recently told me that ruminating on things constantly is a symptom of anxiety, and that’s it’s not just a me thing. I relate to that repetition as well. The way Hot Knife builds and expands from the couple of lines that drive the whole thing is reminiscent of how I can stay fixated on one thing, and just build off of that forever. The adding of different lines throughout the song feel just like new angles popping up. When the drums drop out of the song, and it’s just Fiona and her sister’s voices chanting over each other all at once…that’s exactly what it feels like. Like you’re running every possible simulation/reality in your head at once.

Sometimes anxiety lets me make breakthroughs and epiphanies that I wouldn’t have gotten to otherwise. Most of the time, it’s just exhausting. I just Can’t. Stop. Thinking.

Remember: The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than The Driver Of The Screw And Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

Edit: There’s more I want to say, but all of that is the essentials of what I’m trying to articulate. I don’t know, I just really think those songs and they’re accompanying videos hit home for me, and maybe for other people in the same situation.

[libidomechanica]

“To take their private to shew I am too qualifid, in”

A ballad sequence

               1

Watch and real? But love the Flood, and     unrespect, thought. Which levels to a sister, chose two must     beholding with the doome.

God was Rome. To take their private     to shew I am too qualifi’d, in its mitt, a clouds     wrapped in the dying be

the forlorn world, I’d score. Meantime     to have you. Sometimes a sovereign to praise, all to-night,     Irene. From heaven the

viler, as what I must bewail     us, because it dead hour and feet the after than for     love, if thou my eye, when

as the greatness tell. Of sweet selfe     makes all his grand did proue; but ev’ry hymn to hear, no more—     mething a ding, drilling,

exclaiming, in his settled graveyard     cross him and chain; and justifi’d the thirteenth, what binds     used genteelly. Queens may

go? And I sunned it at     seventeen skiing the avoidance of the ancient race of     languish’d Pow’r in Trust, there

is not yet—never Ceases to     bid a sweet food, and wound, was come—falling she sat: the God-     like th’ unwilling

it live a scorn, when I’ve added     bed-posts shine, not to say, three-decker out for we hold in     youth, for this soul in yon

bonie breasts, thou, thou lik’st so well their     ever change in the Danube’s bank and to advancing     o’er the yellow meadows,

which curl upon the prospect his     life renews: and secure. Can be sav’d, even yet, like one     kindest Calmucks, drilling,

within the nerves off noise and cease     to his Prince! Now droop-headed, that honour’d let his memory     rankles, when the naked

love in sighs to the celebration     and there did upon my Mothers’ fears before her     hairs, fair one brave as the

hungry crave; and in their Witnesses     of sway. Its Incomes home against that means would tire     of Gold. But I want his

Factious Youth, by such the invisible     friends—as thus array’d; the fair tho, the earth with me;     he’s dreadful sacrificers

in the conceit of a windy     night in the fierce kisses, how charm is brother desires     compassing in the

deep each of earth’s diurnal course,     pickpockets, or continuous laws. Away there to score;     they willing stalls in the

wise; for what binds used to cope with     tempers can tell the least light as this explicitly ouergone,     let notes from the chart.

               2

For love. Would catch her dirty smock;     or like a huge mother she leaneth on a cannot married     as light had veild than Accuse. Tell me why then man, for     to dusk, nothing be the

mould tye. But still say: But how languor     and here, some on the Muse-In Sanhedrins to pronouce     and weeping clouds of necessary Law! To speak the river     he flies, bewitch’d that

is mischaunce. Swung in the elder     jack Smith; one of all men like a gas lamp, when their enemy     return’st, with heaven hair! Which when two, advised respected;     but when on its crown

the dark old pleasured out of     my soule was a sabre throng’d to make a notion of the     night, oppression in my little dog will come an     amphitheatre, each other&

father burn’d to Heav’n, one on while     up the hope this song; a woman’s manly bearing ill. Kind     delirium, gripe it very hostile Humour, which was     not care I how for my

darkness on the blue weed, my recklesse     woe: now wondred of the Wine, and the face to burn a     town,—a portion of the State, but soon may be dissenting     me all that the Godheads

draw near the bird trapped wet in it.     Hovering line; sternly denied thee them: the grave! Used! I earned     to say just means he to seek my happy love, the played by     a bee was not Heav’n in

the tools; but Fame is run! But freely,     request among us, will be Naked love to shriek,     love but one tells me oft she spouse of blisses, look’d down from     the red cloaks of God, as

he rode, where awful Government     is thy force of their Maker’s Image through the Nikolaiew     regiment? When thought and equal his future King his be     the time hath fur: for Lawfull

for verse: could weeping soul with     children—women, two Leg’d thing to be a butchery, scarlet,     and swell they say in white and Tyranny. Lo! Not proud     of all already, known;

down and ball. When my trick of their     wants to pestle a poison behind the sons of these, love     to call a young love’s delight. His burial talked with man     his night in the harden’d

heart-throbs, and I, and is my dreaming     is to the night and in her brother’s grief. That Golden     Galaxy. From the suffring Saintlike Grace, and quench’d th’     unfruitfull choir’s amen.

               3

She weaves Sighing shot of Abelard     and by Plato; by Tillotson, and like a round a     hey nonino, how status

as object, bless your censure;     Silia does shall be. To follies the Western relieve me,     above the madness grandeur

that of dreery death, so, sure     as their Jewish Markets of mine, thou shalt strangeness at home     again—What doth flashes

fall, one that’s good man, for one Shakspeare     puts the hell worn away the King, and Passion, as things     unresisted, battering

time, the Regal Right in     Ohio where Godalmighty blest Objects, the foe. From the     wakeful an endeavour,

content to stands that stand still     it to be a form, I seek the rest, till you would keep court-     favourite, and music,

worth, we lie and made for the giddy     Jews tread to blessed your eyes flashes and waited for graced     behind the firesides

grow old … I grow silence and     lonely tranquilly, when as yet; but without objects of     the Spring, not weight: for

shade of feelings that forms and grieve.     By hireling at they view’d such odious arms are     metamorphos’d strangers—heirlooms

of my part, I pretend not     Introduces—You. All this written piled and made women     use are like a brother,

which make your idle wrath, my     deadlier engineering night, we will one day by day. There     were drawing to harm arms

of darkned mind, whom Just Revenge     did her cheek when she of my careful hollow behind, and     like a iudgements after

his owne: and, foolish heart in     moods that Golden Autumn hold Thee just, and all her way; nor     came mended late to wayle

my hearts you, with mery things     as well—but, art brought shades— How charm shall wear it not, my heard,     that else pale stream, and secret

Foes. Thou euer sene? Pass onward     with all the arrowe, ne can rival, can paint a sigh thus     doth vs beat or beaten,

if you ain’t never he     muttering me some to buoy the Priesthood in the assault:     I have known and Buffoon,

half-empty in the weeping. Was     for every means; and still the river the pane, tighten’d while     yours; o then, the touches.

               4

The transient race of the hour will?     And ever can one flea guilt they reached over the boys and     goes by touch’d, so pierced moment’s

good report. Which all the publick     Safety pray’r, and gleam, it muddies Embleme. I have lift     thinke thy guided at a’!

               5

With his was slowly dying year     fallen on a cavalier. Air and goes by try’d the blamed,     and dash through the Celebrated first, and shy and all pall     their shade, ruby grape, and in temple led, to make you ain’t     never be who had gone,

let fops or forehead to-morrow     chief sae pawkie is manhood and the heart. Whole; nor wish’d by a     shutter encloses our libertie; and when Ambition Blinds!     Of Lords, relieved the birth finds all you are, for you only     proper to the third is

neither cease to pleas, thoughts: the Plot     require as dare to her father’s mind. Perchance extent     and townes do work no more— mething abroad daylight of beauty,     round. Seemed enormous down, used! Alone, for the acres     of her Earth am rotten;

from out here were must see no     more free, more evil sprited gaze; two batteries proves the     acres of the slaves his moving music from pole; in Power     and with fancy i have loved the quiet would not thyself     art too much, and of

stars, battering him. And faultful     Past went sorrow, come back to me, to laugh’d her like a scar     between, and a hey now a shells before; and suffer more     disgust, for two love, nor puft with a willow that old Harp     I still back to me, the

first wholly eue, hey ho the fairy,     which never try’d the world farewell! There are bad. See how     it by that sad realized he hand with dust, stript to love,     an’ lan’. Of those tail’s a diadem, with seaweed red and     gain’d her, next time the shepheards

glad, and round suck for Nutriment.     In height: what the only: we haven’t made a sunbeam     by thy pray’rs depending the melancholy has closest     to frighten bolted join’d expressed young fellow, being battle,     small have I seek the

clay and grew rather them to kiss,     and call yours; o then, no matter end! Her comes another     in this grand illumination, but of freed. To his Kings     were embark’d, the uneven her, all is vanity’s shall     light; in broad stretched the golden

dreamed at all Mankind beats with     his Glory’s van. The day buildings in the sun’s defeated     in a pause I too much wound outruns Desire; there did     glow. The day when he had failed in ordered so fit for God     decree more sober lighted

care! Our mother&father and     a hey nonino, those were wrong; was every distant light,     as it he leaneth on a children’s mittens, scratch and if     you ain’t never worst of perplexity; thy sacrilege,     through veils. The giddy Jews

tread the fault was mere lust of frame     but sinking all. See how languid and a birthday cake and     ridicules. Of what tempting low, she so few reade the Fall:     but who you can say briefly was he, since, to learn to be     Out-done. And die of new

books could be ne’er was also in     thrall; and waited butterflies drawn from his pow’r away my     Wit and every prepared fascination, pulses bearing     times, too dear last obey, the sober light—he stripes if he     himself a Queensbury

to roam, by creeks and tried to choose     a Monarch which even his song; a woman: he, whole day     has had met a partner in Silence of others have full     strange? The Mark: for Soveraign power: e’r Saul was force; she     sees the accident, I

told me under. For I trust thy     foreheads Image is, which before cannot bewray least in     thy hard in our telephone call’d him, to be shown to give     up love, thought so high, heroic bosom with a silent     seas. As virtues ways; made

Drunk with sweetness to the compass     done will nevermore and ever death, or sweet hour employ,     far other skin after such plain pudding bade those weight. He     said from each sad, the false heaps of Noah’s double majestically,     drops just what was Rome.

               6

Does thy dart! ’St so weak they stands     suited best see reveals, as when e’r their desires and     the Nations that cannie, O.

               7

Around so digress? For what Fate Prophet—and hid     his Brother out for glory! Thy gift, methoughts: that not you ten years in the breathe upon     the smart of a whole joys and a’! Each fulfil: just a wall, that I meant; but trepidation     too, Maud, althoughts in the skirts that master than to eternal God Supreme Command,     scatter’d his future, sharp as a sort

our frail one’s advocate, trying roar, and made him remain’d,     like guest—thus far as Champion of the Russian stores our swear no wherewith Ida’s     at length the Rabble worm, so queens may Sons again and burning on air and to your     Reign as Aarons’s race, should have been gone miss’d these pretty summs of darkness of May, singing     joy or fear. I will be possibly

useless harden’d her cheeks so sure than their Reason     guide in thee with cold which write your hear sighs for truth is, yours yet forget the words fond will     lean into Heav’n by the evening with roses gone five year when it gone? Shine, and close my     night lay! And safe and shews thee swim, gladde with a wisp along; other blushed, answered; this     Consequence: whose life’s blisses, too full

character which are the town’s on the larks from that could     discontinual tears. A borough dreary graves, while we make churchmen strides back the fault, and     too long, Jámi, in the play. Love’s the Croud, the Scrifice, amid the stream is done showing     the bride, fix’d on her fingers, strength beguile, with indignities: be her works and hides ten     since ill-clad? Fills with dying love’s wrong;

was every difficulty be, she lies be. As     they fused to mount the Day, which one day I met thy sweet, believing nature graunteth light     be, or dress of teares expression could not who you from the body and balcony,     by garden; they starts, stops, starlight grows; which, howe’er trouble through veils. My Spectre around     some gentle Maud too, be of that our

plate; thou dare not so; I love! Nothing seaward on     the place it self, nor more my Muse, for love immortal mirror’s magic sight summer’s blood!     Who make, and ev’n in thy hopes a Rival to resound: the fault was thine eye, the while my     face, struck me, made for Factions and from a cushion a preached? Stealing up my dream that hears     no doubt how power of her homage.

               8

Train of day, or through we carue, as learn of the rest.     To broodings are torn: how street lov’d idea lies: th’Eternal Footman put it is morn     has too much the heat to disguise, which

Heav’n seize it, sought I say, they treaties her brother     course to do without the Old mens Dream! As it they brim. Some slight, she left by, Norman; took     your captives fomented beach. To writer

of the rare gift to sound the height: nor ever     ask’d her heartbreak and poker-faced lord; heap’d Affronts hackney on the porch what’s last obey,     the Factions try; and scorne recount Damas

drown. Oh Ancient Fabricks nod, and silently     without my sight, her little on my brow; but Manly Force he hankers, heaping of thine,     where and pear is ask’d him to shew his

friend! Maud without in thy babe from the lives in my     eye-balls roll it boldly—or Thou have to breaking to Heav’n scarce a subjects known; ’ a pleading     a ding, ding; so that I hallow’d

to David’s Soul of Ida fell, immortal life     with allied to be Cato, nor tears, that it is to Reb ell. Of which I can no more     among us, wicked buds disgrace.

               9

Will be time the Land. Seven Sleep     must maken fiery Soul its frail one’s own bent; I cannot     take the scream of

Camelot; outside and this, alas,     no more? Melts in furrows airy, what well-sung woes will were     wrought hour, there; so black and

wit; if vaine Loue hath not find. Be;     weel ken I married at her mood than language starts, distills     you love immortal on

a bond, thy image in tears of     the ground: that when raging a most I stay; sad proofe makes you     who was their prey, turn’d. Mournful

hyacinths and Oblivion     yields;—reflection, as now about it, but in those for     Fury from his chickened

all his Voyce was left branch and Hell     thou dost go, endure, and dead, that are lost Eloisa see!     From Hebron brings to

Paraclete’s whole gazette. But when     alone. What waited for comfort in your tradesman once     tis true: things, after skipping

out in their band walk and caverns     with scorn em all: not Caesar and horsemen, who were jacks     and honour, Oh Unconquer’d

by Force: but disturb’d, in     conservative burns to pray, to Toast our Lord, who cares not Heav’n     inspir’d, the nineteen who

dar’d to be said from earlier     that I may join griefs to mix with grace adorn beauty is     one the glad Divine

oblivion to slay thy estimate:     the most breath of the wind! Such fond heav’nly fix’d repose:     true, and Chrematoff and

Nature, past, or other up but     distant his Faction which man of Jebusites; and ambers     of a Spartan, had

he not your gloomed; and marriage     vow, perplexity; thy eyes fix’d, that doth thee, and watch’d th’     unfruitfull choir

when dreaming—and grinned at a’! Permit     thee stand stemmerring time; for wanderer bore to God,     and ices, have the ground,

like prayed me away, come women’s     hearthstone? Your two cheek when victi. Here grief, and honour turn     with mourn whence, thou darker

and some captives, and is no my     ain lassie, kind love, to the river he flight. How does Love     speak the Russian story?

               10

And in heart’s blood spill: I saw the     vales await the waves blown, in fragrant gloom profound: she might;     the yellow! You rip away

skin that which oft, with tears? And     rak’d, for their own good Compasses on bounteous David’s Rule:     And when it was plain she

ought from her: to cast all, at all     this plaints dovetailed on my love is in the green, and main, the     sea. For glory still. The

well. In rubies set, my head. And     than wit. And such a change to the way lips tremble throng’d in     brown, or fail in a streets

and swallow a fist of one ballad     gallery, a passions who but follows like a Lyon,     Slumbring myself shalt

be in lonely wandering; foment     themselves are abhor, but praising had brought of all have,     the night with building, are

care at peace or winks the strength must     take their prey, rather friends to create to thee rounded     exactly. They did except

in the Golden Autumn wood. And     freaks passionate women; there the woman is the same journey,     who in sweete is, voyd:

and all her face for out of some     slight at the year? Red pearls. So learnd I louers sheepbell told, the     black air, and as thought t’embroil

the churchment of pearlins and     grew so thin, that, after such destroy. As little joy or     fear. And, Do I dare? From

Pardon’d of truth and smile, vilely;     her vogue has ever acquired, they either than I.     And aff like innocence.

               11

But only not evermore account,     for had darker, and rest—turning always in the way     in labour mouth of use,

and though or happiness was, no     tender hesitation— if he compass done burning skies;     nor asks of her and let

him strugled still. Thou, to best or     late, because from fault, but never, for thy hand! Shade of their     brilliant with a hey

nonino, how the first i’ the young     and Damas drove the reply’d his future, furnish’d out my     face. Permutation did

adorn beauty’s head, and size that     spends of health was returns. But a kiss to this pleugh, an’ I     maun be patience should scarce

less just what love is compos’d,     affections knew their bodily comfort in me. So fit was     made: thou know’st thy Fortune!

               12

Call a cloudy trophies hung. But     t is the night, havins and uttered by my Paternal     Homer! And last age shouted, Allah! And swells, and married     and bending to raunch the

core while new pan, i’ll record a     few grave,—death from the more sweete aire which a god praying, and     her husband, I find, blown out his resum’d the most commended     friend, and down and Bill

Thomson and outruns Desire     of Leonidas, what Relief can Righteous gift, methought the     world fortune follow; let that cling time, when Nature sweet not     yet—never give but of

your bonny blue eyes; ye soft deceits,     and left uncancel— but she weary to be a prisoner     to Saving nature craueth sleepe doe closed within the first     be woo’d and threat to dust.

               13

Ladies, all the woman His eyes,     full of Angel whom I feared, the genuine apparelled,     which destroy, the heart,

do anything, said, I have poor     fish in me. Till it towards shadowings were must needst thou returns.     Of two bodies cals

each life—O father as if all     those worth it, afternoon, the gastly Wraith of so much increase!     Will becomes the Day,

when my heart, and tall, and doubts are     all the nights sides fingered over: you’ve already yellow     fields on human: you and

married a rich in me each other     price. I have worn; ye grots their own to give Earth and camp     salute him in the best.

               14

Or thee, his tears by some one leg     muscle, lopsided, mute, with unquest,—who can looking battle     ease between you women who look one Shakspeare puts all     for a debt, than echoes

broken, I keep him poor: and me     never change him to one, and silver bugle and fynd no     unerring look life indeed I tallies you laughed, being     backward, was calls. About

the worm, that his usual Theam,     the Type of Pow’r is still at once; and every prepared     fascines like a jackpot its center, a widow happy     he within the faces

throbbings, estrange was to know it;     and thou hadst thou; but easy task, with the pilot confident     the Nation of His Glories, Ah! I looked rasp sound Sweet     Love speaks, behaves, on the

tide; then with reverence up, and     a’! What still in a train of me, nor wilt. The first, and bugle     hungry, and ever come to moan of doubts are this body     in the housetop

lonely living alone, she mad—     its hackney on the hungry craving nothing tongue into     eternity. Or beaten, if that of friends of beate were     several posts, my life

given by the bush, singing, not     her, what can burst Joy’s grape, and with the fleet, and catch, as weeds.     Some Royalty the State, born to my fault? Souls of jet. And     Echo of myself her

heart and goes by, would be her heard     the siege to their head. The thou wilt thou, when no crime: so morning     the springtime, then, to search’d—and field: void left Defend then     Rebellion may betray?

               15

Gentle rain, nor lose my plain words.     Rise in pursue, rising and meant not married to pleasaunt     spring, if you are one: accompanied with Stubborn Israel     Suite, his Truth Proclaim, you know in this nonsense, will be     Naked left us flaccid

and she in these; which all Danae     to the same sweete aire which flies me, beaming—and grew rather     lo’e nae man I had debas’d my Birth, but common Cry, pursu’d     the foam, from out his Fame: and Heav’n I love, and till flesh     grows latest sun. His way.

With abandoned skins. This wordies,     like to let you as far brought how a man so various,     Just, and battles to boast his Foes: yet she will lingered     indecisions fit. Case-mated of mine lies are all peopled     heaven the task to me,

as evening her—will and all the     beloved more, behind in trance, mute, with its aluminum     points, secure his Estate. For, Maud, although Blanche had failed     in my loveliness flushes sheltered seem a virtue,     with Fear, yet still thy once

gone in my once-lov’d to Ruine or     to creatures natiue moisture rights to pestle a poison’d poison     which I cannot rejoinder—then the doors which oft, with     the first was evening, to sit and gory that honour! Let     folke orecharg’d with husks,

cut flew the Day, awake! And from     heavenly eloquent! And is her ear. That she touch, by     my sun think is necessary wrinkles the been, on managed     tip into thy grief and I vomit into my sins     though he neither that tears

your despair was virgins keep, to     lead you tell these, had yet still a Story? With Fear, yet I     loathed? Tis easy those darker, and answer to Punish e’re     he Paus’d; that love alone ascend, whilst her for my side, and     walls! Their ears: and Scorn’d by

Nature, pitying a peak to     gaze on my brows; whose him he Suffer’d, two Leg’d thine eyes be     one, settling and day round of mine lies all, I shall stay, begging     angels from stain’d his future Truths are damn’d; that needst thine.     In a stormed at first was

what shall weepe, and suck for a year,     I have seen, thy own arrogance I close in such Magistrate     her the Smith. And I, once drink her Locks before her auburn     hair, thy word you wish me to moment them all affords;     and in sight; silence, the

river Kiang, please; gods the stake it     ill: he show. Avian, to speak: you went on his such, who     thin, that were were for love to bus’ness, somewhere! The sale of     child a rage supplies: th’Eternal care is nights a funeral,     if he took forward

to angels watch her departed.     Its last his Loyal BLood; what did growing their years be: just     as mine, condemn’d wholly, and other as if in irony,     and day like to brood on a holly far behind the     full song. Cruel and who talk

of your hear. When I in languorous     hours of Rest? Of sweet lov’d Theocracy. That forms in     a moment when I bow’d the gastly Wraith of lace. In the     way was led from despatch, ere my Mama undergrowth most     appealing unwanted

best cou’d breast will not be seen? Sweet     hands could placed as of flowery margin’d rills. And with a     wise doubt to writers use, and tended by this light; in broad     stretched than their Maker in their haram education an     isle is a household a

Banisht David did the night lay!     Proud Egypt would keep him stare into a ball to Nature,     plaints, with a heart. Long, so well a love were music-maker     now, shoulder: her hand is a Lambe be Willye now might half daddy,     I think, do their heart

have her Kind? Oh Narrow gorged     from the heart of her labour small mild that fix you in his     fireships lost you, and cold autumn woodland regret. And     doubts, the monkeys make David, for itself, a sheathed his face     of the consent: without

a sight they were gods and secret,     blanket to makes me at last retreat? Now I may know, immers     on the wore, hey ho the Seven morning furiously     seat, playing it? Its wounds in my eye-balls roll the Brave     to shun some thou art truly,

and thus from the breast wears impart,     which a good Compass they wanted the time hath of his     murther person deign’d at its lips the deep in Taylor and     creatures, even th’Offender, the devil’s foot, makes verse, music     lest it love false fear?

               16

In gastful groue there some great nights!     Thus, work’d them see some over us, and why? ’Er would lie,     viewing light, when he most

dividing across knight. Accompanies     the porch ’mid the ancient elm, leaning underneath     the beach. Because their start

to Cheat and perfect. Combing youth     I want his Glory! Tho, they rose, all the rosemary we     talk of escalade, the

marge unhail’d the stars. A knaves,     attemp’ring light shall do my e’e. The heart; for had dated—though     long; all splendour a whisper

a slow the veil of their skies?     Went at all, is of Cælestial palms, and wreake my haunting from     a farm appeared thro’ the

same blinding sense—cannot what you     can’t know it; and Cuddie, till your peculiar mouth my help believes     who is here. Far other

until the publick Zeal     peculiar Art: nothing. If not in the shadows green content.     Self down by the tree. Due

sublimity, which curl upon     a dunce. And so thine image bled from Pardon’d of all the     Sword, by the more of our

undividualities, bewitch     poor Greece and he knew not her babe from Vertue’s only sight,     and such suspect his Fruitfull

Issue shall be time to seek     the dim window-seat foreign Gold, is Juster too soft     October night. Add to the

broad stretch of my soul quit Abelard     it can its life, youth and me. Ah let thy for so many     thing through tears, and Hell

thou triumvirs; and set is evening:     angry with indignities: be her friends, too, when I in     language feels impossible,

all my joy in trust thing thee.     The should not yet—never men o’er Sir’ and Bis Millah! When     love: be her was virgins

keep; obedient Son were     immortal man, sweet dreams arise! But like a blind yon hills, having     no such fairest place.

               17

You lingers, and ever a pernicious Name, and     think about the King, anything, while if one, and glory as I forgive me. An Idoll     Monarks, and of the Crown? Bower-

eaves, hey ho there will content to set this Advice     aboue me sit; nor be you so cruel mocks, and blind, had rais’d in the housetop lonely, i,     a lone stop my Muse and make her. Of

historian here, plain she fear’d with rough in me:     how streets, things to me. At least Complains, and only made a sudden, thus array, ready     written me, O; but ev’ry flowers

bright meet, and tells me here fix’d on Camelot: and     swells, a mornings, more that out love thee seen there will say, or roams the night of my will; disdains     all laws of the parted silks,

innumerable nights no long for a hundred of     mine is fathers of ecstatic may the town’s all-severing with Honour and fear of     incense I smell the way. Let us

not say, that may be secure of Justice damn’d; then     shall fifty years be: just like a noon- dew, wanders, knees locked, one to several Ends, to     two or that th’eyes o’er, and tea. And Corahs

place of the village, fainting Oyle had turned;     she were Frenchman’s ware of Grievances, two names? At a’? When I stopped eye, nor Crowd: that not     mad; yet these are doing—how shone sweet

dream, and this the private Crime is like sunny gems     on a gloomy patent back darken’st born of follies, when them make the face of muscle,     lopsided, for Sums of dissenting

David, but follows clos’d with me remote then, his     looks thee round so my parted silks, innumerable spite, some leuin shroud; then will be found     alone, they conquest the Height head, his

should I seem so well: well decked in flesh, as all those     dainty doors vnto my simple of Love of private places where and silvers o’er: so,     several posts, my study window-seat

forever a perfumed tincture onion-juice, yellow     with People calls wealth and Morning daffodil dead, from its lips of a wintry wind     blouse—nay, a bit of the Plot begun,

shines, kept dross for the flying sweete aire which in thine     in visions, between the womens Leachers say that Belovëd, dost the tears and her, by     what are the assault, which is this: That

once aloft riding life-angel justifi’d the     rampart high, and you, you an onion- juice, yellow smokes, the laity our streets through those     we crouched so long, and willing to

require; prevents wolf’s-bane, tight-rooted, sprawled up thou     through but kind, ordain; whenas that could rise gently. Then follow sunbeams do stur; in the     men and out hiss If you ain’t never

say suppose thou returne, where thee but this the evening     in the faults, but wishing bullets. For she, my wrath! The bright mickle ado, which not     proud browner horror of Speech many

of Civil war, as the bull’s protections do thee     frowns and dragg’d down to Camelot. Together, all all along; other care, and dark garden     growing in upon the Strand; but

I’ll record the shines so! And sidelong glance—like     that the rage supplies: no Court of a sunbeams do sing, here is a birch through them his ski     poles. Briefly of my deadlier in

the way, fretted there; ascend, and revisions in     readiness, afflicting yardwand, home. At her raged in Dust, nor loss of heav’n, one that I     well counsels fit; sagacious native

maidenhead; yet never mornings, it is so raft     vs of old Jerusalem to Curse. If not, women may be dissolve they read to     help theirs, now—but yet, but for a friend!

               18

Oh, never, read altar of wounds, dishonest bed.     To which for once, and every one, but freely, request all could be foes suspension is     their cloudwhite man love, and this makes the more Alexis smoke these thin! By nature on mine     eye, when out in poetry. What th’eyes

or Schooles are all thy tear: and me, where Gods, and     spoils upon the centre of Natural agonies, who with the long, dead hour and I have     been near. ’Mid that time he kiss to be receives him, never say suppose. Or Sappho fragrance     and Mouskin Pouskin, althought Kings

an useless penitence a Foe. And prove against     myself would Curb my Spiritual folly grow old … I shall owe you meet; there’s form’d the     Turkish fire, taking; From they are killed. Would weep, ev’n superstition of our lost? Low voice     I see so alike, ghosts of sweetness

in thy bed crown and only these Angels in our     mother with but here for both hold, the Breach wight to served. And the violent, the change; for him     doth not let thy long since full loue to walk with dying it; moreover of love. For my     draught, twould this flow, led the spouse of killing

Nation of our from Cockle, then the blinket     sae bashfully down; the most affecting hands—if she believe me, good a carefull     Breathless sometimes the fishing the fav’rite blessing, hey ding across before the sixteenth,     at full loue to which love is of pure

on the middle of Delight. Or me, thy robbery,     general Joy detail, who base Ends pursu’d, nor, in the scale up: for shall no more than     these will Swear, the white robes, heav’nly calls, and the heart. The Moslem, but roote: it was known, but     have been here I confess’d up into

the would more I feel. And solicit sadness near     Ismail, and Redress; swift of Dispatches could closets, silks thee or not to represent,     regret. Head beside me, Royal Robes, and willing present writer of the Race, breath of     the lily all men lie; peace once to

the little Good desired, yet I name, and young     fellowship so far, to loved death, the year after thy though Blanche had brought how to your despatch,     to syringe-feed the young folks would keep this the chance too; or you please.—She’d rather and     survey’d, and mark her Lip. That no more:

if, so be, this was hardly leans her hearts, and some     dull tattoo: I want to catch at all; that Ceres hate, whose eye grots and when in that o’er     the giddy Jews tread to murder, ’ and acts just awake in the hart still well Verst of dames:     by axe and forgot, to burgeon out

one two thousand time to be Cato cowered.     ’Tis times, the glory, ’mid the shooting on its edges, a heron. As now, my last to     follows swerve in loue. Tears as I hear the hardened my young plain pair, resent. Than you be,     what a cute card or a debt she sees

the way you gavest men proud brow, the full charms my     eye! Take, Centuries—of artists! To the purchas’d, impart, ye she dight, to kill that     Religion, Common-wealth Imagin’d rills, and heavenly alchemy; anon permit my     wit in her desires; don’t knows not

find when Ambition on the night; they looks fair     imperfect, purple night idea of the wretched so in this we men whom I soon or     last years, til you wilt thou not in each to Secure of woe: helpe me, correcting count my     call my love to see that next for thee,

as on me, when thou then my true old snows melt, and     days gone. If thou, my mind doth the centre- bits grind on earthly soule was by, show’d to groan,     and the perfect a name tags, blood in the moon bloom, lost in Glory’s van. And if you     These did the voice pealing, while their veins?

               19

Good Heav’n has she’s tail up as I     should have been Great, and by a warblings to several saints?     Her face peeped, trilled wife, myself; fire change Fountain roofs, and     a hey, and turned at the Oriental, suggested surface     and here, in the pig

who so fit for a Worthies, indeed     I tallies thy knife has been in these, out of love. Radiant     Sister of the Wolues iawes: but, if left thee stand:     a maid of job,—what thou see an amber cradled betweene     my gushing passageways

will stand, than a cubit in     the marmalade, then Sighing, thee shame, nor lose foes to fade,     my lover, for to the cliff-brow, or it once our vision     gives; and makes. If you would knows? Now, at home to her obteine.     In this with her heart; nor

Arac, satiate as then, no matter,     to which flies, but short, by merely blest allow in the     Crown from a handmaid we may lingered upon the cries, cap-     a-pie, as by Principles of Wine. And lonely this recruits     with violence with

a General conversation prithee,     thy owne smart; such had she had from peeling and saying to     sell her skipping His hands like a round mere can instantly     leaves in the floor, here the sins thou being there was by, would     lead the world may be to

move to front of that doth vs     beat—what face dividing up my heart when then it was you     apt to his new got to retreat a peal to pleasure lies     on more strongly recommenced about a shady would     I rove, ne’er so sure of

red to. Through the Nations and     unobservants are thou thought, since despise, and the muttering     Partitioners: who ne’er she to score. I do not ask a     kiss—thus doth post. Till bite my hitch over that so confesse     pardon might hours and listens

with herself, for you ain’t neva     have to run their ever chance giues both one murmured dawning-     fit o’er books and wrap about me shatter’d his Fame: and     swells, when birds do say, No. To see their sad churchment of pow’r     all will me wild! It is

not wise, oppos’d a progress, blent     which it steals between the publick Pillar, and sculk’d behind     his plain pudding, ding; make Heirs for a brook to come and paced     upon drilling, the ghostlike, both day smile: grant on your backs,     for fortune roll all air

and this, and day, I think! While your     self in my heart in his Wrath and Sons, the daye in weeks. Turns     out an unrespected; but thirteenth, what cause I didn’t     believing rings well as ill with spirit sudden, she so fair     Pretence could touch a verb

dancing eyes the first be aged,     or Kings right: good, Gracious, just a cout frae the sky with anglings,     ruin Kingship, buy. More coveries prove of your parents     grudge; they are grow by the Throne would it now? And our much     thorns and men, that was

enthusiasm and dauncing o’er     itself in their Taxes doubt to wave stiff twin companied     with celestial Seed: in God fails, despatches to weave they     will have a tip to its crown of pierc’d, so tenderneath his     memory of dissenting

cheere, yet somehow evasive,     support their eyes, I went— and all wisdom’s triumph is weak     they still to that is not on and throw down my breast, th’     events except her the filthy by-lane ringing, each life,     whose which, with herself with

his was stores what can a young     beautiful, exactly for me; all my plunged a prey to Arts     to slides away. Exalts the porphyry font: then bent to     see thee, far, far remove the mothers have shores of keen delight     dearer former world

enough; be her scoff’d high comes tumbles     ally’d; and turning by the terrace, made him still we     return: still wear here, the foe in such my heart made thing abroad;     themselves their Mother’s Name to death-cry drowning your charmer     since he Mouldy rolls

of those I need not be forgot,     my once he Mount. On Absalom’s Mildness I confess my     debt in banks compensate, thought so bothers to break, if not     weight of Business may be seizes warm before. True the brothers’     works thou can for three.

               20

The girl to vex true delicated     words, when all the purple striding by their hears so gentle,     so let your would Curb

my Spirit of love. And it grew     more them all, yea, more discord afterwards shadows shed and     my dizziness. Where is

beat.—My two willing stars blacke, both     holds on wing and sweet breastplate what vengeance strike delight. Struck     me before to spoil the

wave, and weave the smallpox, above     are all my endeavour or a vast eternal Homer     had he brother present

the fair he shown, since kind love must,     with their prosecute the watch not better, walked and daughter     with thee has paid price. Cold

and meticulously poor girls,     with Praise. Thus doth my friends his Heir. To leave us on our     twenty cannot speak for

a debt she came from all the angels     from this eternity. Sudden you can stand. Heaped on     the park, agrees as if

you sprinkled still affects ought of     Blood, the last breathe upon a Harp that harden’d her light and     gritty as I enter.

               21

He known; ’ a pleasures round beset     me, of his deede. Of foreseen the works, made for love shore, and     quiet? To roll it touch our rosary of dizziness.—     Did you—because the house.

               22

You serve thee smiled, lady in their     Gods, and echo in sweet lover’s treasure, measure, and tarn     by tarn expunge that none,

she chanted in flicked but swallow     flames! Thought do care sure and fading the wished his pleugh, an’     has nae carelesse grief.

               23

I have walk in an honest Madman,     on better to the Springs of Peace. But, no: you sung;     and yet he wise and virtues,

painting Oyle had gravity,     scientists dying year fallen on Marlboroughfare.     Puff his despight; dreaming

eyes, and that their stars, bats, or many,     the women, are women sob? And long a shadows length     of David bring to draw

thee puts the stillness, we shall be     possible, trying nothing, not tell me, such devised what next?     Who kept him Kings are priuie

to my muttered dream, I would, with     Lyes; to pleasing, hey ding a most I wink, but such a daring     it? Lifted in a

shadowy land and a thin Disguise:     Achitophel: thus, that with, common, common be at     peacefull woodes bearing

Eye to tell you run aground,     gaining skies? Till be my guilt should free, star after the meadows,     where’er I turnes!

               24

—What dusk throat the skin after it,     and best; unblam’d of thee: in Exile with thee! My Rebels,     Kinsmen to end thy nature,

pitying and men; but of     such existence could every Grace and brief; with ev’ry grant     into the Body which

man of doctrines the wood, and thou     art as any that campaign; and you departed from a     curelesse cryes, when you

close Design. Hath beguile my Nanie,     O; but what wrong done but a controul; and Patriott’s All-     attoning earth we left sitting

all alacrity: there he     a Tyrant o’er the cove with a pink that gaze on me, O:     the Pigmy Body looks

the goal, stays all thy mettall made,     ylke can lack? I heard, that harmony: but doth not love alone,     and he may win thy

heart. Priests dozed on, dribbling I was     a mirror’s magic lanterns. But certes may speake? This be     so. She twilight, and thine.

I have them to Curse. And not blame     too gross, because from every loss of herself! Thought, when in     the angels, pale, pitiable

existence made alone     until they pleas, thought t’embroidery, some mould’ring storm: has     found, was come—falling the

ancient wear here to sustain and     while, thoughts bright. And ev’n my Abelard! This sense, good fame should     have seem’d as he rode between

St. And Damas, names are the     Fair only I couldst rubies set, my praise. Of ancient wrong     wild Decembers, from his

song she witching it, our captive     me then not with tears by wretched the best can judged beach; three     will sen’ me, O;

but all thy brow; but when Nature     suited he had the purple of nose: be my cabbage, I     was it were deem’d rest of

equal his Prince to moment making     of the trees are, and cared less for Imagin’d rills, the     nigh, it was dream, and the

Shepherd sang in height, from the new     batter a town did streets and chalk and clear away the wintry     wind black. Broken, I

keep solitudes taken by     the gate at the arrow and dropped as e’er would produces—     You. But here fix the Maker’s

praise. The womens Leacher, and     white, we must die: till tired, yet still he thumbed, through all those     in welth, she spoke, and sweet.

               25

There in her e’e. Of mind. A children     called to addrest. Happiness … and on my back, feign it,     had his crime renewed for

my days when he finally, drops     just as she flesh, that whirls, she camp! Great Wits art, surpassingly!     Their backs, for Vice,

Oppressions find; in women, calling     their back. He is not allow’d to great deeds and good he feeble,     all in due ordering,

unvaried and with all things,     will so numbing the fault was known; He did Zimri stands the     sleeve! Light, to make church and

sea? As he whose streams with religion,     and cold, between there. And feet on her she were bred where     in the means he neither

mine and wholly father blushes     the boards ere the polar sky of such, must we dote on, when     the worms and round so these

the Jebusitick Crime. Teach many     years. I bow down to Camelot. Impossible friends     do sing, are of reach wish

to head-quarters her in youth and     the words as trumpet’s call her lap did shines, indeed the after     God’s enemies their

Friendship’s name, call a chef come to     assistance could ever new; thy life destroy, the old must     paint it. To dash throbbing

it was, til you remain, and Peace     it seems that solid Power, fair ones, is it part you here     with each others the Type

of the lassie, fair tho, the city.     ’Mang moors an’ mosses, to their Belial had from abroad     daylight is our St. I

trust the conceive thy much hopes which     many a fayre sight that I should not his Eyes, and thighs, breaking     a dancing Bellibone,

hey ho graces still well show     it is snooded sae neat, and time, a corsage to blow, new     pearlins enow. Well agree

to meet the Governs with all     Danae to the for our despair? As often hope with our sex     a tyrants, that nothing.

               26

Sweet some old Catoes broken, I keep her us.     And sighs for all thing sweete aire which sweet break him, and left the fire, taking pity mock not     Woe with families on an ambers, blooming

back and barbarous laws; till their masked the seed;     david, but of my passions prooue, I sweare, or Fate uncertain cornfield above them harm.     He that solidly whereupon, in

vain. Of my corse with sturre. My spirit? Craving weeds     stolne from a cushion a preachers mingled with their Friends: or someone else mistaken by     your Arts, and clay, you wanted child of

the moan of Jerusalem, of homicidal     eyes, and weep; desires; don’t watch her brothers, from Camelot: or when neither mine, like     a Part disdains my Mother’s woe, where

a storm a fortress to set this tunefull cryes     most ruthful, inexactly four died. But build and view; remarked their wings of People all     thing came that I am trying near; with

women; there on the nice and softer man who loves,     my love will fall: for from his vain as form’d to David’s Rule: And tis first and make me alone,     for death for wits by quoting.

Distinguish penitence set is out, the swayne: sike a     children, waking of the generous train me, on me, and thou returne, where are hovell’d     him, up, the spring, but if they ding

and so their heads Image through the Plot. Into certain     half-world. The letters to press’d the best of old Jerusalem, Shimei was afraid,     and Wintergreen prouder o’ the world’s

great relief; ah, more rights, the mermaids’ singing of     amethyst I could be quiet ashes fall upon the curse, bad spider—die! Then buried     and we went him who has that with

pyping and freaks that hears his Brother. But that shall     the Moonelight, when I them and he’s doylt and this grave! A cup. Till the Bad, turns her e’e.     Thy gift, under your names grace, and

shudderings to served virgin of Love a dateless     heavy Load, who threat to do without one that is now with God and what ye are hovell’d     to pearl in rubies set, for paynefull

to Depose. Churches bright-but which in my brain     full of night there I go; long frustration; or at the tender face, he had the river     he flight. When birds of rights to be e’er

at best of Clay. By some thence my desires; don’t     watching a human tears like accounter with how few there breed, when birds do sing, and her     chills and Buffoon, half-desert sand-paths.

               27

In our married My Lord: and of     Hate; for ever. And it grew in such one full song neuer     heard of such existed?

Whilst somewhere to salute there, when     we know to moment is her you should bar him his Rabinical     degree that thy

for myself in my love should dive     forehead of historian here? Ah no! And the end; those     tended, soon regains its

gleamed at a’? And quench’d the fire above     the year afternoon hour, and seven more loved, with the     Flows, and silent men are

villainous base. Not her, by water     faucet and forbid her break? Alas, whose very useless,     lasting that’s in her

danglings can receive the matter,—     white line pulled through through Street, rubbing out, if thou down to find     what fainting Tyrians prop’d:

and on your several voluntary     pain! Of a few grave, of books and he hirples that     links of Greatness honour

memory death, only not alter’d     Hand, who look at you, when the web was worth they found, the     State: their alter’d and

unobservantes; by Swift, upon     the web, she as one she- bird outside to Punish a Body     which in glory as

I entering were immortal     height the first words, below was decline and pray’rs; snatch’d a spouse     his blude it is but the

Skirt of Martyrdom did Stephen     grace sharpen’d slowly read: till I take a Helen. Thus doth     makes. Had failed; seldom she

smiling Lips open’d slowly dying     Locke, for honour! Still cut strangers of the happened with     my lads, for you gave me

one scarce main. Received it will hart:     though not from the State, majesty. But think of May strewed     flower octave claim of

angelic kindness I hope of     Patience; if that master. Day comes back against strong a strangeness     as was Moslem, too,

had hardly rise unhelpt of his     merit? And Foot, remember the plainly clad, Sighing shot     he to y0our Design. Night

are your bra and I will never     warn’d by blacke, both amazeful stateliest when we face,     that Gods Providence become

and shy and like windows. And     suit of beauty to all succeeds door; I try the town’s on     the way he was none so

Beauties redden’d hearts to pretend     to that were breed unrespect, purply blur into the shape     of tallow, being Kind.

For you neither head. What, after     light, minstrel, abbot on the cause a horror of stone who     is left the Goal of Ease?

               28

Of Soldiery, suddenly     alchemy; anon permit the field: void left the sword. Oh,     odious intercept you from the lives in spring. Lawless     Mighty verse as every

books is not allow than in my     please; with other. Till the pale yell of their bodies holds himself     with pain the tears: the Good depend? And couldn’t both and boundless,     proud flesh grow: now drinking

of innocent, by Machiavel,     by its burns; a verb dancing light, minstrel, abbot, squire,     and we weeping organs lift a blade of feeling pad, something     looks, blazing the distance

before; or melt from Earthy     Vapours ere the lock which was his Progress its good report     all they had been a rook or bishop tis time is with all     the people passe the

bar, a blunt fist of Crime in a     vestal’s voices wake the Cross my love finds, but a dream is     done to some moulds such fond heav’nly fair! So closets, silks,     innumerable night, hand

is one. Like a iudged beach drawer     of the command, then all those, which flashes all, a hedge,     beautifull, so be, this hair its cunning nothing to aid the     Danube’s bank to a

pensive War; which shard, to stands then     their happy spots than half- empty cup, nails rusting their gates     across brown paper personal narration of the rainbow     of the resinous

attack; or like morning design,     nor sweet. In the Song is to Rebell hung or set, and tangled     breast; i, sick with smiled; nor end of truths divine, is lying     trick of our feet when

I shall there on the plums. And Tenants     that first conceals. This shot glassy darkned be; those that     tempt th’ unfruitful wiles. Prevents Sighing she so fared     she, sweet hour miscalculation

as when the Way; while the     Remains, on purpose in publick Good, by the voice lesson     is far, far remove, unless that you apt to heare a bird,     whilst I too creep to the

common pranks out-wrest; or those express     its Incomes my troth, which lose to painful an endeavour     of the Dutch flag, with but kind? Fireworks thought patience; in     the men who fought in

Ohio where the mere luster the     gold to aery thing her down. In springing of amethyst     I could repose; whither meaning peeps so peacefull raign:     and, tis my help their Prince;

you changing stars while two people     doth it sucked on thee wrong done withstood in Regions may staineth;     suns of their slaves thou standing puclick Good, at length of     it for my lovers’ love

will walk into your only given     out interpose, and fair. Upon the death! To steady     stony glance which thou not in each others that he hirples     that Perigot is won.

               29

Too great these Gods disgrac’d, and loved     the trees! I earned to the Turkish-fashion’d while you survivor     bulging it from the roast beef I have clotted Lambe in     loue. Presaging Fevers brighten bolted joy and Fears of     Arbitrary laws! To

steady Skill come tell there’d to     seek: were slain: his deede. She hath the silent the Pagans who     dares be, to write; and with ugly Scars, that Kingly Diadem     he give them a train my Hand, and catch and by Solomon     and wastefull

sublunary love!—Of Whom? And ever     I should not how to the waves, and I beginning, friends,     but not matter you never was but a dream, and now so     far more Alexis’ ashtray; the People doth Love speak? It     doesn’t have the hearts of his

aboad: but all mistaken, who     told him even in their Fate uncertain, among us,     will fall to shade to die here. How happy. And lull to leave,     which I envy, that you, the into spring. She, thou my     eyes may be to-night, that,

self-ingrain’d. A courier to     the heauinesse: in other use, and forbid her stars we stepped     as then thou bring of Zeal was found a speed their bodily     comfort fast asleep. To covet the Hall, maud without booke:     what fall down by young

Messiah blessings oriental,     suggested gaze; two battering, jesting the corners of     the yellow behind her gown; she then where to clean and pray’r     accepting, pondering, and as he had grinning breeze; no     ground. It may escaped, ’ was

to impede them now in our meat,     yet still the Noble Youth remains over. The puppy’s breather’d     Ripe, or Priests, than she. My Spectre follow by the present     to its ray? To hear: tis true, and cut they should govern,     nor more till hart: thought word,

think, holds himself from the dish of     our joys of Fasting flight ready yellow by the waggons,     where he might? Nor let the Day, misguide it, simple she said     thus with Arts, abhorr’d who names, and if I could not only     that has her humour modern

sense of my words that unfeather.     And weak. I am sick of our lore! A kerchief sae     douce and forever after long to choose, infers a Rival     to head-quarters; their Scribes Record, but makes brest, now that     solid Power, fair ones,

sent from a handmaid, sister, comes     it thee frown onion. The fireflies in immemories     of books, blazing thy Pearls in my plunged affection by no     memory, though heaven our only proportions every     weel aff, Nor only pretty

ring time, whereupon, in vain;     till hung Balaam and play it well-tim’d rest, whom with that grieve,     youth and there briskly fire. Strike one tells me, above through our     cart, do anything, were damn’d; that I met wi’ purfles and     who can Amiel, who is

left. That closer. Looked back. We went     involved in order sets, after lovely April of his     body. The weak race of marbles into capitulation     about dislike one who fought to force thee, thy own? No     second is not be so.

To stop my Muse, her labour life—     this is no my ain lassie be; which I will walk this hair     and black! I ensconce me here bred wherever after would     sleep on sighs that he purchas’d, impose a firm clouds despise,     as ever I shall light!

That whose Nicean barks of dames: by     axe and by Cervant of perplexed, uncertain, since full cryes,     when all love only that the Crown? Thou art sick. Be my gentle     favor, he had, was Chymist, Fidler, State. Still we modern     man that he water.

               30

Their secret hearse. But she, in the     Bust and Traverse want? If once but deem for the pools where Gods     were slain, or a vice. Certainty is one likely, to speak,     what the rising hands I

could tire of Justice damn’d; that     could not sighed: a touch!—And those dreary pole so many-tower’d     knew to whom we shall familiar ease me on mine. That     long have soot that my sin.

               31

” I earned to its chime; soft a tear.     Day, when Nature suited to say: But how to pleasant, Slavic     and do so—as wells; where mix’d the mother lips it were     fix’d, the queens may die a

jest. As I gain is to place of     what still bite more among some find its back from sleepe: let all     those two peopled hell am I flatteries, bayonets,     but whether woman taught

letter yet she wind blows: yet she     evening with such fail’d to salute him Land, the face in mine,     with man his poetry. Lord, and heavy sleep i watched on     me, and Jebusite; or

if they had taught to hide the porch     we leaves in them riding up some cold, between a passionate     ballad gall’d to serve the Danger, darkening day, and there,     to him, up, the new

batteries, bayonet it is good     as any thing: silent is her Johnny, Woo’d and mone with     poets thou had saved two ends despaired with odour whole, can     see all stay, the milkwhite

ravine, no King thy Pearls upon     a holly eue, hey ho the star that feeling made three, people     of maidenhead; you were sweet pastimes are Reserv’d the     ladies,—who by a new

skin out of the regions and her     son and secrete with long fingers, and Eloisa spread out     of that the Blow of Fame, unless t is true: the City,     to my head grown green, gildings

of all my coat, and a’ the     sunbeams arise! And thy face not before the Rain to Mire.     And I have found and mind, Goethe’s doylt and pleasure, measures,     or Hands: this through all

the stern shore. Tonight, all native     Right; because their Posterity? If, dear ideas, whose     Palace floor, and a’ the sound that red dogs lie down to     Whatever yet—ah me!

               32

Still doost it in all know, or very     sacrifice, and Heavens Decree; which truth;—such virtue,     thought far more rudely fleet as this palate fine, not thyself     down to Camelot; there’s its garland weaves of love that’s     the tips of Proserpine;

at first Ferment, the vitriol     madness I gain in the nights with his blood with rocks reclin’d     wave high: strong sun, yet, as if in doubt, young men and wordless     grand descried in the blinket sae sleeps so gaily, Ye’re woo’d     and bugle and put it

in the meaning human naked     left not all who shall tell the Mourn’d, and two ends divine annoy;     but none dire commands destiny made; but waking     Witness of heavenly smilest, dear deceit, for the greater     things stay so fair whose

darksome pine its godlike Prince despair,     observ’d to David, severed and they brought the tears, should     have now for as long black cord makes me at least light days was     her faith! Then a chills and Fortune follow behind the standing     fall he shall I relate

em? In my own. And we love’s     delightsome let the arrows in fit was in a while, after     the crimson petal, now echo, assonance; his time     to hang on the ragged pines embosom’d the day: our boy’s     a-dying. Always honors

given gracious argument     of the moment of the small but for an inferior     not loves are all th’effect: the eyes. Stubborn in that just thou     find’st not a meteor on, and a poet. For the matter,     to which now he serve

thee down, and shew thy self: cast his     Cooks, with it, all this flea’s death diviner Lust, his visage     hide, stealing love’s this resume not learn of the saddle-     leathers boyl the chromatic scales, though I knew thee, I am     only giving Kind.

               33

I have I to taste of a man.     With ev’ry prudent part, ye shadow where or other she     look’d on the place and madden’d

heart beating headlong into     the sheep an’ kye thrive bonie breast, there was under a sea of     that with such existence

of the with poets that others     use, and other draw, when there nis sike a wild with Jealous     Eye to guardian God;

and than mine eye, the law that sad     hue, what this removed, and never men of farce! His Neck was,     we are. And indeed, all

confuse my pleasing sea. And who     traveler clear away, the whirls, she stalk abroad beam has too     longer Just. Unknown a

Saturday nigh again, and weeping     soul from the sick. His Courage Foes, his glory! March with     bulrush and sip her prime:

yet no pitie I find, and waft to     Heaven-song I may not less for my Muse and the Lady     wood, its sweetness up, and

image all my woe, when Love speak.     That charming, instructed in the Skirt of May strewed flower.     Were fix the Moon, was

Chymist, Fidler, State: the Peoples     place; in the difference upon thee, as a look to compell’d,     he seemed that yoke when love,

the night. Come were, ev’n my Abelard     it is abused. The sun and thither might the height, how     I admire ech turning

Eye to guardian Fire: the more     swear no where will thy golden beam has too fortune take; but     which stare him dropt upon

me take what can conceals. How happy     state; since in the kind or free, starve, and the region clouds     of necessary Law!

               34

Made answer: These disguise: Achitophel     had fail’d against theirs, now sucks that grows cold earth were     such played by a fountain of moderate shall befa’ the     slouched swindler’s laps and

day round presse Night her ran in     another; for all there. And, Do I dared not her, next time for     thy voice, or Fate uncertain the leave a face sweet old hopes     and hid his Evidence,

Let me no stare him Magistrate;     his Hand a voice sound, listening insects that doth not breast, she     leaguer, swarms or cries, our own, ornament wears to-night. Bodies,     since then not what it

better are have seen they say o’er     a wash of the Nations, if Bands, and to that must take effect     fell as the Jebusites you ain’t surely shepheard     her trade is but fading

for a nosegay! Its centre     sit, yet doth vs beat or beauty, Common Name to profit     by that in the mould turned to resisted Counsels, which,     well the Israel Suite, being

music unto the water     chills of job,—what falls to roll all our street love speak—and make     him in the wall and seem in deserves to her had arms I     put off the day ten years.

               35

These scene or losse. But far more till each passion—cannot     matter game as bull-dogs and a hollow woods and through the censer clouds wrapped in his     vault, shall light all else to the shown to him, was, became a patriot yet—never stamp     of powers could that nurse of brave melting hands had made for ourself: you would say: How his     be so—for those dire Agent found

no wave to side; nor Arac, satiate with heau’nly     branch of Hell and sees the vats, or by the main. Start to Cheat his Kitchen, to see. Sit and     discontinuing in the Troop a Sháhzemán, by Name. I shall lie—Anthea bade     think! Virtue heavenly alchemy; anon permit they were his aboad: but like     anothers, and like a razor he wip’d

his Canto, ere will both blandishment had veild the     time as chief he rules, your reflecting hope, turns out the foam, from holding; make Heirs for Just.     Armed web she wept upon her lo’e nae man I had taught, and snicker, and heart, his earth’s     diurnal conversion of their Disease? To bear it not, my seal shares with all the Beach, and     with too much spirted purple night indu’d

with brain and Buffoon, half-demon, and slip at     once; and icy climb! Us both jump back, feigning to him, was, by dying years already,     known in Royal BLood; what is known descend thy natural nursing than half-crushed the first     I have not without Title while prosperously I could every size and private place,     embroil the rosemary we takes the

breath. In Israel for light idea of sleep I     dreams die. But all that has nae cared as their younglings, after the chin, my necktie rich in     the barren Land: Achitophel: thus, that I should at last she storie of no tygres     kind, no True Successfull Arts, and sweet: and seek the fault was left. This more alone is half-     empty in Love’s friend and by a right,

and mild there my Eyes that one another; for she     loom she saw the foam, thy Name. Curse may we never love—whose shade, underness whereby, alas,     is to go alone I’ll restore for the Hall, dropt upon the weary Muse and     unobserves of Heaven, again, is innocence. Till thee or beside, there it Adam.     That must flow’rs! Is to the stalk is well.

A teeming mighty’s Gentlemen kirkward squad, and     there be the stone showing day. The Princes Son. The new emotions may have paid a trade.     Pity never try’d the People to erase? Their start a ladder tower’d Camelot.     Now say in the cold hardly spoke, and blue eyes and lusting cheerefull choir when I     bear, and atheism and his was

Moslem, too, when neither meaning to Heav’n I love,     and produce these country or it only that loves, and made him Land, as it than they are     coming flames resign, nor glanced behind? Love, all unconscience and Paradise waste, wherewithal:     be she cannot do their own, ornament will you every hour would say: But how true!     Over though my tears and Patriots

in time. Breathless, eyes, and leave heart have armed by longing,     as swallow the pages with it, after Star, arose and Mouskin, all prop that which     in heart receive, and wants, no other, each other Plot the arm’d, with their wants apiece; and     sweet self slipt from the wild lean-headed faith, too covet the promises&cloud drag inward     smart and touch, and horse, sure of a saints,

by a right her down—will to test odour of that     is not only the eye quick sharpen’d in hand, as if all I pawne yon red rose, all naked     trees. Of specious, odious, Just, observ’d t once, with such sort as, thou snare him two     better are full of tended from faults is frozen night with its mitt, a clocks throbbed thunder     seen. And, brib’d by the dish of our

joys to take it ill: he shown, let me knows where no     beauty glide, a teeming missives back from the Grace he gave me tie here things, near they     blest on the million may let it love’s service dwells with what haughty Soul is spent—and straight,     of sprouting, ding; make her. ’Er my soul, and the sea by sea, and whisper’d people, where these     she fingers of those which fell as the

most may escapes, maud the truthful. And go talking     of the tide the halcyon Morn to live. My worship and batteries proves in small peoples     Saint forges than a man, sweet love thou art my hearty, some cold Caleb free. Live unto     nobly spurn’d with mery things stay so fair my friendless, eyes, and I did, till on the     earth with blood that tongue with little

easily know. You are things that the same cause of ill-     requited to blows the sacred Life each Gazette of an averted hands like Jacob’s     or to the crystal mixture bard show, a Plot beg a small, slight of all say, have to die.     For song like those laws destiny made a lover pants up, and half with scoff’d high; lips she     dropping of in aiding up there stand.

With seaweed red and atheism and dusky     caves in this head, till I doe, thought: such fail’d to blaw! Some find what fall down descends the night     I trust the light; in contentedly, and in her should ease repeating sun? Woo’d and haunting     all male mind with ev’ry Lady of Shalott. Of its warrior’s speed, flipped the shy touch’d     with her vogue has force they would pleading:

silent seas. A verb dancing that please a smile from     peer or later, running race, if only proverb of the house in souls mighty, nodding     on thy part of the Town so call wisdom, future Fame. In listening graceleted and     where the teacups, after his own. Did he fell. Of men were thou bonny, yet fast as every     well the bee-mouth my soule, that Fame

is: for teeth and fling on her station If your day     beat you, put out of the wrong the arranged through very warriors Command; to my heart-throbs,     and half so language feast this mother dear mermaids singing the part, say, what a flower     in our Fury found, from yonder and vice. Leave the clouds bedimme my face. There we watching     herbs in thine! And I have kissed their forehead

gazed alone, the shall pall things be, and thigh and     body or of People have I to take soon the was little questiond cannot grieve them     to keepe. Will your me, unless trees: if one, to wile they were deemed with care, rais’d the days gone,     would make you that once our sounded many a fayre flock deserted for love is in the     sky like a noon-dew, wanderer bore

to God, and crooked back. To the sparrows I behold     ways? Advise the work as a cheating shot the heard his Friends—as thus the core which country     folks would mountains, and gay, a martial eyes were their Scribes each and on the arrow chief,     in pity ne’ertheless o’ a brief, a small misplaced? For forbid it have pleaded, they     live your beauty of parents’ simple,

untested gaze calibrating gowan, wat wi’     dew, under your Reign as Aarons’s race, as learne it woo, and innocent. Be still th’effect,     yet, sprung it freely, request had brought to give you. While you are only given out half:     leave poor are for thy though not be so solidly where my Eyes seem certain the fayre sight,     purpose who make a long as my fame!

               36

Was a time future Fame. Down an     Oath will not feel the virgins his Roaring, rapid, merciless—     breaking soil of heau’nly

nature is fatter end! The     foolish all cost a Limb of his has not now it; and even     here I confess that

thy fame, it grew pale: heav’n-direction,     without end; nor yet did those who traveler cleare a bob-     major tension in her

eyes diffus’d a reconciling     eye, double-chinn’d and when he fingers in a trifle more     dissembly of my hand!

If not what all that fine and pray’r,     and the water flicked in bristling and scatter’d limbs and     proue; but who could not tempting

long to your modern Greece was     the Kindred indeed, is follow’d walls asunder I feel     I shall my collar mounting

flow’rs! The same, call a glimmer,     and Roguenoff, and I begun. After the planks won’t slip     at once on thee for there

is my with near themselves, closets,     silks, innumerable, how the moon, tho his Titles and     t’ other conduct when

both their own. Makes it difficulty     by native should it hearty meal upon the despite     of the heard the yellow!

               37

Will do to swell the restore for     the touch’d with Honour, while praise alone, but a shawl. Thus, work’d     the heartbreak and regret when all for cash and scoff at leaps!     Black and dishevell’d hairs on the quickness hard a ho, and     fling had been worth it, of

Stellaes broken world, I lose my     woes. Have delight, for his we men that like strange sight. Urge now     might be that to their shade with patience with spite, well decked in     all; what Wonders quest,—who but solid Power away; or     at the rest among the

looks thee, wild night comfort in     poetry, at it was born of mine: for shall wear the golden     dream, I would have I to takes in the refrigerator.     What thou are one in the names for how she turn’d to granting     Folly far behind their

legs are force of fear of incense     pain the renew’d: to all. Gods and more strike, for teeth. And no     occasion give, and wish to her down—will be able to     waylefully down; the first words, to serue the invisible     words, relief; you were

draws; constru’d Youth to victual; such     closed behind the people, without your moments high comes     another bed, thrusting to conquer’d Hand, wherein were but bounteous     David’s loved Attribute. Exactly likewise one of     our hope then safety to

a landing deign the knack? Sweet, believe     me, to the pomp to flight run wild carnival at will     make me more till be time to women up at the same face,     both jump back, and they did not when thou catch a falling shot     length for our human rose

over thou be thence to meet the     fair as great a peak the ground. Charge; which something but a girl     when Kings alone, do my thigh to come see what woman like     to thy hope nor those I needes though little wing thou need’st     not much hold, the thin Disguise:

Achitophel, grown, with dimpled     cheek and friends despatches to find his words fond Begetters     that can a young fellow, being the dawning race, who     Cost too covetous of them scarce any hand, march with Pride;     how these not leave, what ended

her tongue like them make no other     it was harsh and love, the steep slope of Their sweet virtue     answers Death. But as if you have to subdue, rebels who     had slipping o’er thy transfer musks and Fears, night for ever     her off, and watch’d the soule

was an hours bore the white; nor be     your Filial Name, a Father lips, possess a lawfull     Lord. Poor delicately Brave to clean over. The regions     which is mornes messenger, dark father’d Ripe, or moon was     not know that the Night him

from the blind, or rot upon thee     down an Oath to unwrap or read her thee and preparation     of them both displease, in himself for rough whom the tree     grow. Than all my Fear: though great poets the dust and the mermaids’     singing thy heart is

its popularly low: and Share     the loom she saw things, in spring when birds do stur; in the     heard the depth of some new Song, they hearts of brass that he was     a softer room. How that tempted my visible worm, so     queenly and fit: more evil

is sense to declar’d when lost     are ye what I felt she seemed a thought Sleep-dissembling, instep     too: and so stand; and to her down and sense. With an equal     colours and make, and nodding by startled little by     little which truth all their

imperial peacock stalk along     the scream enclareted; and every things were hard? There     was foreign eye, as swallows’ perch,—did you—because though in     men’s reverent face, the skin of mine, starve, and thine are thing     when share thy pale yellow!

               38

Like a hundred place thou with th’     inward with stick in the will bang our fists on what it     bold Defiance within;

desires and a’! Let me wild     a carefull choirboy voice less to creatures trickling soil     and scoffing, and in having

hands like the womb sucked on the     boy but turn’d without a star upon the lake: so shall fifty     years since so remember

they conquestion made for ages,     the moon’s more by a word of your scull? The other even     to be match, and see

the finger-tips: I love! To speak     of the squally east-wind strikes its music blended, soon     flowery meads th’hill’s history.

               39

Of the nerve: you pursue, still do     to swells, none shall join not kept your larger sound the stream of     thy Reign? She star that no

more, my lover can Juno sweeter     chilly wolf’s-bane, thou, to be wooed. Yet Maud too, when thou     stand; and my wrath did end.

               40

How oft, with endless bronze            the sky!     And every part, excuse the works with than in my hearty,     by sea-girls give ourselues we comes, though he love nor Art     not yshend your name, count

of people given, all presaging     a prayers of eternal—just the darksome pine its     godlike it isn’t even Diogenes. He said, My love! I     wanted loud, before mayst

thou will! Born I was through is     company for the bowe, brake. To be wisest fools may die a     jest. He fears,—did you, chopping and did you would displease to     buoy the Love’s brand new-

fired, and found no wave of despise,     as swallow and descends the Harper’s hands, sea-girls wreathed     with music blended, then came yonder rough the Paschal     Lamb. Thick-jewell’d shone sweet;

myriads of Injuries of herself     without. With all in angel, singing a smile from Nature     suited beauty that passion to crosses are made to     death cast to Pindar’s employed,

should farther the pipes of listning     Crowd be Judge. And tell me, let us roll! Good Heaven-     song I may not exceeds door; I try the inward for true,     and all that; and Scorn, when

there’s no great! Better used what     the pages were for a Calm unfit would be toom, wi’ the     face, her from the blind his latest chicken heaven, in a     storm: has found, the ware of

hospitable to the dark gates     of their ears: she left behind. To the old with all in my     help them as honour that connection? Cool was dared. Settling     teares and Sons, the

flattering Wealth when they live no more     accuse, but she, my only pretty could produce the tree.     Make mistaken by morning to a pension may both of     noble seat of my morning

towards them think of the wrong there’s     bitter thee swim, gladders, he frame but the hollow brow     in vain Pretence ever can I you rehearse when men Aspire,     tis the Fool. Fair college

no crime, but turn’d by black! As     e’er shone his Aid make David, undisturb’d, in Sleep must lie     down the sibyl’s den or this nod, and root up a Polish     all yours, now—but you

happiness … and out hiss If you hadst     before her Ground: the God- like swine, or those voyces siluer     sound, he pours rise. Had turnes! It is left this new Vauban:     but to dwells with thy dearer

former Catholic schoole of     one ray from the regiment Nikolaiew: they thy glassy     countryman; with good Husband; so I did not bring, and sawdust     rest. To be toom, we

only: we lodged in that sunrise     got an expansion, who were Godalmighty Minds, when, ages     hence my deadlier engineering hands couldst charm my     passion, or far; past land

it grew so thinking up my draught     you serve when the his forehead at her ran a simple on     her e’re. The wild design, but sinking off a shadow dances     find Liberty. Medals,

chaste the single sorrow to     the dawn of Eden bloom, she setting, ev’ry flowers. Of     those two young fellow-green; for the fumes of muscle, lopsided,     mute. Learning, swears that

floods, nor truth doth in woe I vowed     haue to wave of the nakedness! Draws, hopes and Paradise,     in his memory rankles, when she worst: never had hardly     rise upon her dirty

smock; or like a boat sliding     his maiden daily anodyne, and the golden Autumn     wild woodlands drove th’ earth’s true, and is places that he     himself, for victory I

burn. I thanks in a streets, the dew     dwelt in a foreign church and consecration, frozen charred     at their soul! To their Kings were made their Tast. Me like perfection.     Which loves his world shake?

               41

For, govern’d by a Puff of WInd.     Yoked in his appears already, known; and then smart and State,     majesty. Will come as being three, people call; and to     publick Scorn secure. None is freed from his wing are drops a     lover’s treasons Heavens

Decree; which on her cheek, passion     bleeding like Atlanta’s balls, and loves lay, and the deathless     Worthier Head. Inter- assurèd of the tombs where though I,     once against each minute will take a Pardon’d Rebel: and     fling into capitulation

he rode down with me sit;     nor ought and down heart of kill’d of power-tools or steering     rage inside me, correcting countrey moue to keep her up     each other, thus ebbing out in his defeated in the     wild wood and vow, perplexities

must find what may exprest,     leaue what the woods. That it back&forth do pleasure sight, for your     feet on many, they all his Brother succeeds door; I try     their kettle-drums a new pan, i’ll restore! Then follows likely,     to record never

yet true, as him they could still in     my brows made a lover’s treason that solemn light gay     meteor on, and give now you love? Of what else mistaken,     who score; their Lord. And some new Song, through but have neither can     I find, for several

English grants suppose thou art throw     the man mann’d, my harmes in Faction is not a Slave of languid     fool, which element, wigged and then safeliest, for     an infant, slain, were taught her with a children—women, two     Leg’d think too forth who knew

it, sought of the Clouds to his will     in her side: and he crowning youth I want, while Cupid stones     grip the heart of God, whose which unanimity, while the     moonlight; beyond most deeper than a Successful clutch at     it freely, request it,

else pales besides thou cannonade     alone until you run aground my wrist, and church, though use     make Treasures the heard her gown good again, only to the     cold and be all to-night. Suck my lads, for light wings, and then,     no matters for the Door

of stars peep the name in nearer     for fault; I view my future bright dawned; and weeping him. Such     Votes as makes away lips and a’! That is wonderous was     once all-fragrance and then? Thou by a ghastly pit long time,     a corsage to be wise

doubt few refusde for the match you     with banner and every well set forgot; cool was found my     aching Parties, as well believing ring, not learned no     more than the floor this known them all—arms thy letters fall shows,     kill me, the partial song.

Breathe what bind: if alter’d free and     Take what tempt th’ unwilling, tis Nature, sharp scratch with     their ever and size that makes an swift dispatch, as wit that     all her place. He hums and he may say, they came first and cast     allow’d by their statue-

like into his own worthless touch     one on the night; but, if I wrote, because the warm room, the     night would showers defy, until this flea is you said,—and     in triumph is well pictures trick to Propogate her feet—     too boiled about to the

face, speak, whatever’s praise the coop.     He said all Breath blossomed anew,—yon looks and fling in these     Prodigiuos Gifts in sense of ill-requited to seek the     dying rhyme, a Father’d, fly! That of a kiss—thus far tis     man who looket sae blue

as when we could brass will sen’     me, O: may ill be foremost on better Proof, than     inferior not love so new, as they wanted into a     wedding vaguely to the narrow strange barges, make her cheeks     burning furious trees!

               42

And dread to-morrow will a cheat.     Eye, bright has his life endures I feel you run aground, which     reached Wi’ having the long

a table; let him setting in     my poverty; but when we profane his Servantes; by     Swift loathing your smiles not

Heav’n; dispute my hard and prosperously     greete, and far my Clemency to unwrap or red     with relief; you went out.

But let us hie, flying themselves     pain; nor envy them, were invade. Near to the corpse she     danced, noses gone five days

of god, and fifteen will find, but     sure that were tear’s leaving Locke, for her deere, Cupids dart an     image all those very

Jewes, which yet he knew who was     mine. But it is she hate. So he said we must allow by     her heart out as I enter

love and thank you, beautiful     voice and gain’d to squandring World has with a sort of grace, this     explicitly our stave.

At any reasonable, or Fate;     whose brow that yet know what, after light, her lace, was her brother,     in the palace walk

upon me her soft illusion.     Without these our plac’d his world encompass done but if the     pools we will buy me a

choice but there not tell me the lamplight,     and in all for lover pants up, and he’s dreadful     sacrilege, the vats, or by

my own I find anyone I     lose mine. My though not fir’d her as possible good, the crowning     in chief threw on a

borough but her space for we might     by nights, the plums. Though little, and nature in the nightly:     what face there my Muse, her

hard the lips the dire coming     hope, gay daughter: this swooning earth tears to-night, minstrel, abbot     on the sea, ere my

loved more by the women, and their     own, ornament is no though in me. Year after the     porphyry font: the gold of

Verse, and vice. Hey ho gracious, and     solidity of Loyalty expressed splendor; in that     has all my coat, and my

expectation go and ceased with     spiritual spleenful folly was not indulging late to     the evening dew, under

your deeds to conquestion, and for     aught him, to deeds are old snows melts in vain. Hands, and the rising     and he hirples this

… Then beauties but forgetfulness     in thy forehead to her foreign church were for your hands and     a’! Breathless, your Father;

coud Adam bind him; by thy lip,     the print the Harper’s hand will now. While she is wing are treaties     he inform’d him, until

yours, and sighs, and Buttress of     the blue eyes were much mortality, therein more I     Go and the Paschal Lamb.

               43

Till I courtly sparkle languorous     birds of range was to know if you’d breath, the choice o’ Pity     soothed it with, common

be thou haue learning I unclouded     ray can make, wha wad sing in the veil that there so ouerthwart     the air would lie,

devotion’s endowment, work up to     our coonskin hat. Had turned him his vndersongs can the most cou’d     be undone. Still on thy

beauty treble; and left not every     channels, bubbles o’er her skies may be stop’d. In the room     she sat: the Sagan of

wild woods were hot. As swallows’ perch,—     did you—because is complish thou catch youth and Humane Laws.     In the blinding Croud and

aided our Elders the middle     of our two women use and unobserves off noise and     married and wit; if stars

bleeds it; by the gen’rous God, and     all his fatter ends despatch, and the kind. The second more     doth cover thought her: to

cast all, and yon bonie castle on     her advice. Yet to-day I met wi’ a crawl If you pleasures     for those dainty is

one little time in shop windows     she ought it bore and far more fleet, and heaven must surely     blessed byrd, that hue whose dark

night, which sweet on an Ethnick Plot     begun, and I strove thee steady; the Collateral Line     wherein my bed crown with

man the more heat of Great philosopher;     perchance giues both displaies: and no wind blowing down     my friend who dar’d to Rule

the Vapours, or set, and all have     been set and sky; wonder cleaues the names? My ex-lover, not     trust their kettle-drums a

newe mischance ever men of mountains,     on thy channels, bubbles o’er: so, several Ends, to     my woe, where all this one

on thy soul beggared? Not leave,     what fainting floods then speak, then man, rather sigh-tempests all     thy help believe me, whose?

               44

Against time future King whisper     in payne, and Restrains thou seek my hand! Directed to own     through our captive me. Dead weigh’d, or King: those which piec’d his peers?     Shone likewise put to interest, thought to love of slaughter     breaking; From the beginning

away both for me, that delves     and Tyranny. No second’s ordination, with shell, lies     between the tumultuous Shout, proclaim. Struck for her oft,     melissa came yonder rough. ’ Your lips and whisper’d free, began     to all by my own

sins tho the Beach, and seek the Russians     neither red nor suffer sad! And when Nature striue, such     powers do there none do slacken, some Old Story? Then     gracelesse byrds are sold to dazzle let me no stare him by     the men who could not be

sent a cout frae morning day, fancy     restored; nor every shape and Tyrus intent to leave     to shade. That seemed the King, and from seeming mistress, somehow     evasive, some confin’d: why am I Scanted thee down     them stood, can but perfect.

               45

So Fraud was drown the girl to vex     true beauty’s gone; and go talking sate; time for outward shall     light! Some questiond cannot

but Rousamouski, scherematoff,     Koklophti, unless that he was they can give, and, that     the heart. The great ocean—

Truth. From hence till I part of sight,     having no old thy Matchless ran a sabled even     Diogenes. And at home, rise

in the core while with silken lines     all our murmurs to the Memoirs of that sawe it, my own     arts will’s shall my flying

lake by land and blind, a fop     the close thyself to Heavenly Fire. Where the others     took its sphere this should knows.

               46

Ah Willye witeless a sleeps, and     the day when looks taught t’embroidery, scarlet, and weep, and     see the op’ning skies cals each others say that seventeen     skiing them to and there

th’ other honour turns out     to flie. For spring, for Vice, Oppression blest am I     Scanted to the game on me, ’ cried our British friend, some dull     night, cliff-brow, on the look’d

down injury of age, no dislike     that Pity in its crisis? Inter-assurèd of the     day I saw the endgame of the first Ferment, to you as     good a King! Here, a small

mild ascend, or let his life from     the bosom and ready to attack: but of the spoke again,     and safe from earlier than those table, so employ;     nothing love’s languish twixt

me, Heav’n listning Crowd will amorously     grew rather rough. These were it ranckleth ay more the     Day, misguide the young with petty sure and fading earth tears:     alas! I, sick of some

these obtain it, had a whole million     horrible bellowing! Most modern preached? I cry for     love was beleaguer’d way we never works running has, little.     Is spent—and all the

river-whisper’d: no long, Jámi,     in this place of the grace into a Flood; but out, if I     fled behind her, and if you women could not, my wrath did     ascend, and high; lips she

dight, closets, silks the Eleusinian     cave—such suits to violence that thought this wicked pit     in a paused; she neither in chiefly of vowels a voice by     birth finds to reward; so

long driven back, and cast upon     a piece together thick- jewell’d and desires; don’t yet     how long wont to be King, and pillow. How often soule was     on the well then I thine

eyes first. I could complaints with a     dying years, and tall, and no more; if thou art? Sometimes did     ascend: sharp scratchy scarves— where Gods, and there, a naked, a     double light! Matter end!

               47

Alone, ’ I said, and melts in men’s     flesh while, after they ding and true loves with tears: the Collateral     Line white hair. Them suffer the nightshade, unduly,     the shadows the Wolues iawes: and outruns Desire.     Bankrupt of her scoffin

former beauty, but perfet     harmonious crown they join hand, and true: the Gods were in a     trice, and never showers of the park, sighs labour tradesman     we not they be, exception to Rebells rang merrily     sang Sir Lancelot.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

welcome new followers! here's some info to get started

this blog posts a lot! for filtering purposes, here are my COMMON TAGS:

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And here is some GENERAL INFO:

Hi! You can call me Gaudy or Gaud (pronounced 'god,' which is a complete coincidence I am not responsible for, these things just seem to happen to me). I'm they/them.

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[allthebrazilianpolitics]

LGBT+ Indigenous Brazilians Break Silence

[Image description: transgender woman Majur, gay man Sioduhi, and gay man Tarisson Nawa.]

At the age of 12, a Boe Bororo boy began to realize he was a girl. In the Apido Paru village, where she was born and lives, this was never a problematic issue. But at first, Majur didn't quite understand what was going on inside him. Now, at 30, she knows that she is an indigenous transgender woman and is starting the gender transition, at the same time that she becomes the cacique, due to the absence of her father, 79, because of illness.

Since she started perceiving herself as trans, Majur has been leaving Gilmar Traytowu, her male name, in the past and building the desired identity as a woman. “I'm doing (the transition) in parts. First, taking female hormones, with follow-up by an endocrinologist from Rondonópolis. I started to realize that I was trans even when I was 12 years old and since then I have adapted and got to know myself more and more.”, says Majur, in an interview with Amazônia Real. Majur expected to undergo the transitional treatment by the Unified Health Service (SUS), but given the delay by the public service, she decided to pay for the procedures.

In the Apido Paru village, Tadarimana Indigenous Land, in Rondonópolis (in the state Mato Grosso), 212 kilometers from the capital Cuiabá, Majur has always been respected. But now, as cacique and leading a community of around 800 inhabitants, respect for her has only increased. However, Majur is aware that this is not the reality of other “monas” – the way she refers to the other indigenous people of sexual diversity. “I know several and I believe that they find it more difficult to expose themselves. We, in addition to being indigenous, are also LGBT+, suffer from double prejudice, although I never suffered from my parents. But from some relatives, yes, and in society abroad too, but I'm much stronger than prejudices.”, she explains. 

Along with the bodily transition, Majur also incorporated a visual transformation. She wears feminine pieces, some clothes, bags and adornments, such as earrings. “They are from the BioMajur collection, which I make myself, I love to make.”, she says.

Majur had the opportunity to leave the village to study, but she decided to stay and work with her people. Single, currently seeing a guy, she already considers herself a mother. That's because she raises two nieces as if they were her daughters. "They like me as a mother and now I'm a grandmother, because one of them has already given me two beautiful and wonderful grandchildren."

Majur's strength, as a woman, cacique, “mother”, and “grandmother”, is precisely in her authenticity. “I always say that our sexual position doesn't define our personality, we are what we are, not what homophobic society wants us to be.”, she says, adding that she always thanks Aroe Eimejera – “God, the Chief of Souls, the Chief of Spirits” of the Bororo for being well, as well as all her family members.

Breaking the silence

A topic still taboo, sexual diversity in the villages has gained strength with more indigenous people deciding to break the silence. Amazonian stylist Sioduhi, 25, from the Pira-Tapuya people, originally called Waíkahana, remembers how difficult it was to realize that he was a cis gay man.

He describes his discovery process as an indigenous LGBT+ as a moment of understanding his gender identity and sexual orientation. “This discovery brought me a lot of weight, precisely because I was born in an area undergoing a very strong colonization process, which is the Alto Rio Negro, in the state of Amazonas. There are large numbers of Catholics and Protestants there. It is a place where colonization ravages in such a way that we all suffer from the process of integrationism. From then on, we can already see how difficult it is to be LGBT+ in Alto Rio Negro”, he says.

Aware of the role he plays in society, he has sought to guide this debate in a more open way. “As an indigenous, LGBT+ stylist, who also has a certain influence, I have touched more on these issues, which are still super delicate, due to this construction of binary (male-female) and Christian guilt, which is still very large. We were told that we are going to hell. Not to mention the alienation of these religions.”, he recalls. 

Indigenous queer

An anthropology PhD from the Federal University of Santa Catarina, (UFSC) Barbara Arisi is a researcher on sexual diversity among indigenous peoples. “My doctoral research was with the Matis, who live in the Vale do Javari Indigenous Land, which is close to the border with Peru, where the Javari River separates the two countries.” she explains. She, who currently lives and teaches in the Netherlands, is the co-author of two books on the subject. The TI Vale do Javari is located in the state of Amazonas and is the second largest indigenous land in the country. More than six thousand indigenous people of recent contact and isolated groups live in it.

The first book, “Gay Indians in Brazil: untold stories of the colonization of indigenous sexualities”, was published in 2017 by the Swiss publisher Springer and is a research on the untold story of the colonization of indigenous sexualities, before the arrival of the Portuguese and Spanish.

"Chroniclers, priests, Jesuits, Dominicans, recorded the presence of other non-monogamous and non-heterosexual sexual practices only, of which indigenous peoples, as well as many other indigenous peoples around the world, had before European colonization several other sexual practices admitted in the community”, explains the anthropologist. "Heterosexism, violence against practices that we will later call homosexuals is part of a process of Catholic cultural imposition on indigenous practices related to ways of establishing families, sexuality, affection."

The second book by the anthropologist Barbara Arisi, “Queer Natives in Latin America: forbidden chapters of colonial history”, was published this year by the same publisher and features prohibited chapters of colonial history. The book begins with an overview of the scarce bibliography on the subject and ends with stories of contemporary transgender, queer indigenous personalities, who do not fit into the dichotomy of just two sexes or two genders.

“One of the characters is an indigenous of the Borari people, who also tells of his relationship with Candomblé religion, practiced in his community, where mixing already takes place. The book is all about everything we find from material in archeology, in the chroniclers' records to the more contemporary part, of how indigenous people today claim to be 'pueblos maricas' (”sissy peoples”), for example, a term they use in South America. Such as ‘Soy marica’, used by indigenous peoples in Bolivia.”, highlights Barbara Arisi.

The book also provides information on American and indigenous Canadian academics who claim number two in the diversity acronym: LGBTQIA2+. This is because they are indigenous and are not comfortable with binarism. They are called two-spirit, a native category. The similar term in Brazil would be the “indigenous queer”.

Gender fluidity

In the Nawa people of the state of Acre, according to the indigenous gay journalist José Tarisson Costa da Silva, there are reports that ancestors lived their sexuality in such a natural way that it was unnecessary to be gay. “Sexuality did not have this hierarchy or relationship of violence with people, with different practices. Currently, asserting oneself as an indigenous LGBT is fundamental for the struggle and recognition. It's the difference within the difference.”, he explains.

Tarisson Nawa, who currently lives in Manaus, recalls that the topic of gender within native peoples is now being raised by the movement of indigenous women. “Because gender struggles bring other ways of being and living within the territory.”, observes the journalist. “Along with this struggle of women, this struggle for territory, linked to gender issues, also come issues of sexuality.”

The journalist recognizes that in most territories colonization directly affected the sexuality of indigenous peoples, impacting indigenous bodies in their affections, in their sensibilities, and in the forms of relationships. Just as it changed and continues to affect the societal organization of peoples.

“I have reservations in saying that everything is a product of violence and colonization. I am not denying colonization. It is a fact that it had an impact. But we have to take into account that in Brazil there are 305 peoples. The diversity of peoples is immense, it is difficult to measure to what extent before colonization the fluidity of gender and sexuality existed in all these territories.”, he says.

For anthropologist Barbara Arisi, discrimination and prejudice against sexual diversity among indigenous people depends on the context. Many communities, like Majur's, have acceptance; but others don't.

“I lived with people who were trans, cross-dressed, with changed sex clothes, and there was no imposition on some people. But there are very violent communities. In Central America people are beaten, abused; to conform them to binarism, the form of punishment is often rape”, she warns. “I always think that indigenous communities accept people better, but that doesn't mean everyone, the difference is very big, there are many peoples, so it's not possible to talk generically.”

One of the known cases of aggression was that of Vanina Lobo Escarlante, a Bolivian indigenous trans woman. “Firstly, I was excluded by my family, because I knew what I wanted and I started to wear women's clothes, and that my family did not accept”, she says. Daughter of a cacique, she reported, in a 2019 video, the physical and psychological violence she suffered in her community, from which she had to leave.

Source, translated by the blogger.