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Currently our best idea at tumblr to get profitable so far is to rename the site to twitter since they're not using that name anymore

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Every day I learn something baffling about Massachusetts

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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

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A video dedicated to the woman ever!

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fuck i'm past due on my insurance, hate doing this but could i get some help

i need $228 pdq, anything is appreciated

$rozreturns and @rancidgrampa on the money nightmare apps

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This guy's psyduck keeps trying to drive the bulldozer

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all my friends should quit their jobs/drop out of school so they can PLAY WITH ME

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I need to get a shower, but I don't feel like it right now. Everybody email me a single and beautiful drop of water until I am clean.

soppingwetemails@gmail.com

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wyd after taking this

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at a lesbian bar wearing a vampire costume: I vish to eat your puvsy *my plastic fangs slip out of my mouth and into someone’s drink* *I cry and pull the fire alarm before running out*

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what is uquiz if not some kid coming up to you in the playground saying "choose a color :p"

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Spiderverse as textposts part 5

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Mrs. Claus opens "The Year Without a Santa Claus" by claiming the eponymous year took place "before you were born". Seeing as the movie was released in 1974, this means the year must have been before then.

Bounding this on the lower end is the presence of ice hockey - mentioned by Heat Miser - and the use of telephones. Ice hockey was invented in 1875, while Alexander Graham Bell built the telephone in 1876, meaning the year must post-date these. These figures give a range of approximately 100 years during which Santa may have taken his holiday.

Yet, narrowing this further is the presence of a December calendar counting the 1st to a Wednesday. Between 1876 and 1974, only the Decembers of 1880, 1886, 1897, 1909, 1915, 1920, 1926, 1937, 1943, 1948, 1954, 1965, and 1971 started on a Wednesday.

But still this can be narrowed further.

When Santa set out that Christmas Eve, we see what appears to be an almost full Moon in the sky. Within the years listed, only 1920 had a full Moon on Christmas.

Ergo, 1920 was the year without a Santa Claus.

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gonna be real i am scared to use an oven again because the last time i used one (in june to bake brownies for my meetup with Ros) the oven bit me (burned a patch of my skin because my forearm touched up top)

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A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

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when i was a homeless 20-year-old i was rejected from multiple housing opportunities because i had 5k in medical debt from going to the ER after getting roofied and sexually assaulted (i was unconscious so calling 911 was not my decision) and UHC denied my insurance claim. so yeah, i'm actually deriving an enormous amount of pleasure from watching health insurance CEOs snivel and hide like the heartless cowards they are. may those who profit from our suffering live in fear of those they seek to deny.