#im so uncertain about this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
MAOW
summary: Solas is once again dreaming of the Fade, and Lavellan is comforting him, naked. This takes place during or after the events of Veilguard.
pairing: lavellan x solas
genre: experimental
rating: 18+
word count: 0.8k
a/n: I’ve finally decided to take part in at least one day of DAtober. Of course, I missed the deadline, so here’s my little experiment on the theme of Edge (Day 21). If you want to join too, consider yourself tagged <3
warning/includes: I haven’t experimented like this in a while, so I totally understand if something goes wrong <3
Edge.
A flash blinds. Forces the eyes shut. Wild vibrations pound the ears. A hum. Fear. Emptiness. Someone is watching. Asking to turn around. Pulse felt at the fingertips. Lips freezing. Loneliness. The burning fear of eternity. In the dark. Alone. Madness spins within a confined world. The edge. Was this always the only true reality? Icy hands reach for the throat. Thin fingers. A familiar scent pulls away the obsessive thought. Movements in the shadows. A hungry gaze. Ragged breath. Hot lips gleam from the poison of a kiss. I know your face. I kissed your lips. Your neck. Your chest. Your body. Is it possible to keep breathing? Am I breathing anymore?
Space falls. There is no beginning. No end. Demons in the shadows devour fears. Create images from consciousness. Desired. Tortured. I cannot breathe. The whirlwind of the Fade’s energy devours reason again. There are no sounds, except for the pulse in my head. The beats grow louder, swallowing the world around me. I reach out. Nothing there. No one. Only Fade. Endless. Consuming me whole.
Darkness. Everywhere. Always. Only darkness remains in my heart. I surrender to it. I want to surrender to it. To not see. Not remember. Not feel. There is no air here. There is nothing. Bitterness. Regret. A shiver runs through the skin. Icy. Intoxicating. Lyrium. Pure energy. Forget you. Forget everything. Fall into the abyss. Disappear. Let the darkness erase everything within me, but spare the memories of you. Forever. In blissful ignorance. Hands covered in blood. Your blood. The air is gone from my lungs. My heart pounds in my ears, in my temples. Hot blood cools in veins, arteries, capillaries, bursting like a billion explosions across my body.
"Solas"
She brushes away the remnants of his nightmare with a soft kiss. He opens his eyes. Breathes. He can still breathe. Looks into the void. She touches him. Warmth. First gently, like a whisper. Pulls him from the void. Is it real? His heart pounds in his ears. Nightmare. Edge. Fade.
"It was just a bad dream."
Her voice. Real? Is it really her? Her scent. Familiar. Real. The Fade recedes. Her touch grounds him. Pulls him back. To reality. To the sweet fog. To the softness of the bed. The darkness is still there, but muted by the heat of her body beside him. Fear dissolves. Another touch. She’s real. A flash. He grabs her wrist. Pulls her to his chest. An embrace. One. Strong. Hungry. Needed. Salvation. His arms hold her naked body tightly against his. She hears his heart pounding wildly. Strokes his shoulder, his neck, caresses his cheek, calming him.
"I’ll never leave you alone again," she whispers into his chest. Kisses him. Softly. Lightly. Tenderly. His hands are cold. Burning her warm back. They slide down her waist. Over her chest. Over every inch of her skin. He needs to know she’s real. Forever. Right now.
"Never," he repeats after her. Catches her gaze. A second. A breath. The sweet warmth of her mouth and tongue warming his lips. Desperately sliding lower. To her neck. To her nipples. To her core. To feel every second. Every lost chance. His hand cups her jaw. Lowers to her neck. Shoulders. He nibbles her sharp ear, leaning in. The smell of home. Reality. Here. Now. Sweet movement inside. Whispering. Breathing. Touches deeper. Insistent. Pressure. Passion. Desire. Life. Her soft moan stops time.
The edge of madness. Of love. Her passion hotter than fear. Her breath sweeter than poison. I’m ready to die from this poison. She writhes. Moans. Trembles. Her shuddering under my hands. Under my fingers. My lips. She leaves wet traces from her bitten lips on my face. She breathes against my neck. Presses her lips to mine. Forces me to not be gentle. Power. Persistence. Conquest. She shifts the roles. Rises above. Takes initiative. The honey taste. Her lips. Mouth. Tongue. Despair still glimmers in the reflection of her desire. In her tight embrace. In the closeness. In the depth. In her grace. Tremors. Rocking. Love. She takes me. I surrender to her. Forces me to close my eyes. A flash blinds. Ar lath ma, vhenan. Nothing else matters anymore.
#solavellan#playing the radiohead 'the tourist' while reading will create a deeper immersive effect#its like that if you want#solas#lavellan#im so uncertain about this#dragon age fanfiction#♥#DAtober
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
I love your story, but I have a question
Besides Tyler x Lindsay and Cody x Noah, are there other ex-camps who have children who are the new changes?
For example, Ella is Gwen's daughter.
Will we also see those from the World Tour?
man that reminded me, I updated that list from a while bak,, here I'll get it up:
asterisks mean that characters are only children/single parents
(also damn, kinda didn't expect how many ppl would get Ella being Gwen's kid right)
((ALSO also, I was kinda self conscious about making this au yet another 'Gen 1 (and I guess by extension RR) contestants as Gen 4's parents' AU, but I guess we all have our own lil spin on things. I also really love how despite some ships/lovechildren are ubiquitous (eg. Wayne being a Lyler kid, Emma being a Gidgette kid, that sorta shite) the one thing that usually sets these things apart, and in a way changes the whole trajectory of how the AU is like, is based on who Noah's shipped with/who his kids are)
#noco family au#thanks for the ask!#noco lore#also im uncertain about DJ and Damien cuz on one hand DJ would be a great dad but on the other hand I hc him as aroace so idk
83 notes
·
View notes
Note
This new lineup is already looking so gorgeous!! :D
:D Thank you! While I'm still trying to get over being shy sharing the living's line up right now, you can have a V.2 of the mime's line up since I colored them in:
#i say v2 because subject to be tweaked more#idk why im so shy about sharing characters with minimal clothes on#like they aren't indecent. nothing is risqué#im just like ahhhg you can see their nipples...... and their knees..... oh jeez.#also might have something to do about anatomy. always uncertain my anatomy is weird#just because the way i draw is already cartoony its hard to find a good balance between realism and not#okay ramble over#brambleramble
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fulfilled motifs in alhaitham and kaveh's relationship are on my brain!!
- most poignantly, the two coming together to unveil the temple of silence in cyno’s story quest, which parallels their thesis on ancient architecture and runes of king deshret’s era, as the two appropriate the other’s respective signature (alhaitham recognises architectural structures whereas kaveh is struck by the beauty of an emblem) - where the two once fell out due to the disharmony of their viewpoints, they have reconciled them within this quest
- there’s the two working together in the house of daena, where they argued in the house of daena upon meeting them in the archon quest, where they were described to have a ‘terrible’ relationship by the npc geoff, which is mirrored in cyno’s story quest by the two actively working together - as well as paralleling the npc archon quest scene the player has to actively seek out in which the two argue once more, whereas in cyno’s story quest, the two willingly exchange information and are supportive in helping the other
- we have the fulfilment of kaveh losing his family and therefore his idea of ‘home’ through him actively referring to the house he and alhaitham share as ‘home’, and that he wants to return to it together with alhaitham, as a set, and by implication a family, in cyno’s story quest
- by extension, kaveh not concealing his living arrangements by openly referring to him and alhaitham’s ‘home’ in front of his friends, which refers back to when kaveh asks the traveller to keep it a secret upon meeting him officially in alhaitham’s story quest
- kaveh buying wine and coffee beans in the tavern, alhaitham and kaveh sharing wine in their house, which is something they are mentioned to do in the bulletin boards of sumeru as well as in alhaitham's story quest, going hand in hand with the two drinking coffee together in the house of daena, with kaveh mentioning he wishes he had made some for them before leaving the house, which refers back to his 2023 birthday letter where he and alhaitham taste tested coffee beans (i am, once again asking, for an alhaitham mention in 2024....),
for future sumeru quests or events i am thinking of the unfulfilled instances or things that can be addressed??
- whether kaveh accepts alhaitham's research into sachin's influence over his father as closure for his involvement in his father disappearing into the desert, as his reaction differs from whether alhaitham tells him vs when the traveller tells him. since cyno's story quest 2 indicates that alhaitham telling him is what happened in canon, this subsequently betters their relationship. the idea of kaveh's cycle of self-detriment due to his past guilt hasn't been addressed since apop and it remains uncertain as to if kaveh has made steps to forgive himself or if he even wants to. this development of kaveh's character is truly interesting and i would love to see it explored at some point, and also in turn what alhaitham's involvement is in this, as in his newly accepted support of kaveh
- kaveh writing to/visiting his mother in fontaine? or at least a mention of kaveh's mother, as his hangout has a heavy focus on faranak's past relationship with kaveh and her hopes for his future, which we see in her advice to him as a struggling artist being that to found reliable companions. if kaveh undergoes a reconciliation arc within himself, as in he aims to forgive himself for his past guilt, then it would make sense for him to have a reconnection with his mother to talk about the past in order to truly look to the future
- kaveh and alhaitham having a role to play in the exploration of the temple of silence in future events - hints of this may be seen in sethos cautioning cyno that he may only invite people he and lord kusanali deem worthy, for cyno to then tell alhaitham and kaveh upon arriving back in sumeru. To this, kaveh expresses an open interest and cyno tells him that he will have an opportunity to investigate in the future. As alhaitham and kaveh have teamed up together in order to investigate into the temple of silence, and are indirectly connected to it through their thesis of king deshret, it seems they will likely be a part of the role the temple of silence will play in the future
(- i thought that an unfulfilled instance could be kaveh referring to alhaitham as his friend in game as this would be a callback to when paimon asked whether he and alhaitham were friends, to which he replied that they ‘used to be’ but weren’t anymore… but in terms of how alhaitham and kaveh's relationship is handled in-game, i think queercoding plays a big part in having labels such as ‘friends’ continue to be evaded (i have spoken about definitive labels being avoided in the writing of haikaveh here), this is backed up by sethos’ voice line as the two are paired together as “alhaitham and kaveh” and are referenced as a set with “those two”, rather than a definitive label such as ‘roommates’ or ‘friends’ being placed on them. Rather, they are conceived to be something outside of this, as sethos conveys their ‘otherness’ with “something about those two hanging out, you just can’t look away”, so i think, imo, it would fall more in line for them to continually not be assigned definitive relationship status, but if the improvement of their relationship is actually mentioned in-game since it was only shown and not told in cyno's story quest 2, it would make sense for them to say something that indicates they overcame misunderstandings or something vague like that. as there's an air of secrecy around alhaitham and kaveh's relationship, the traveller won't ever be privy to the specific details)
#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#cyno story quest#i'm updating the essay so i've been thinking about potential story threads for upcoming sumeru events#it's basically confirmed that the temple of silence is going to have a major role to play in sumeru now and since alhaitham and kaveh are#in cyno's circle and have a direct connection to king deshret in their thesis its pretty certain that they will be directly involved in#whatever happens in sumeru but when thinking about their relationship a lot has been left uncertain on kaveh's side#ofc this is due to it being cynos SQ so we are only shown that haikaveh's relationship is better which i personally really like because of#all the yummy subtext and i like it when the writing is subtler!! this also leaves a lot to work with for haikaveh#so while the reconciliation arc is definitely underway and it progressed again in cynos SQ im positive about it not being the end for#haikaveh's development since there's still things left to unpack#but im also suffering from haikaveh brainrot so if hoyo drops the ball thats on them!! <333333
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way i see team urameshi after meeting shiori is like
#shiori just adopts all of kuramas friends and boyfriend (hiei)#she especially loves hiei. yusuke and kuwabara are shocked about this esp bc hiei is clearly trying to be on his best behavior around her#and shiori can see how hiei has clearly been denied love and care in his life and wants to take care of him so bad#and kuramas just like 🥺🥺🥺🥺 about seeing hiei and shiori getting along. even if hiei can be very awkward and uncertain about it#he doesnt know how to handle a mothers love. but hell learn some day#anyways. shiori just gets so happy once kurama starts bringing his bf n friends around. happy to see him having fun with his peers finally!#and quickly all of them are like. ohh i see now why kurama ended up changing is ways for this woman#and shiori makes all of them matching family sweaters and takes a big family photo 🥺🥺🥺🥺#AUGHHHHH#is it obvious im a kurama kin in my family feels rn#team urameshi#shiori minamino#shiori hatanaka#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#kurama#youko kurama#hiei#botan#I WANT BOTAN AND SHIORI TO GO SHOPPING TOGETHER#yu yu hakusho#yyh
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
I talk so much about how i want to fall in love for all the things i could do for someone and all the things someone could do for me but deep down, if i’m being honest, i want to fall in love because i just so desperately need to know that love is actually real and that there are people out there capable of truly loving me
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#just like growing up and losing so many relationships#friendship and family relationships all of it#it’s hard to remember that there are people out there who can love you and that that love will stay#regardless of whether or not you can give them something#idk all the love in my life just feels gone and i don’t really think there’s anything i love anymore sometimes#but then i remember the world is big and i should stop worrying so much for now#i dont know my life is a mess lately#and it’s 5 am and i haven’t slept#and im still grieving things#and hope and patience are so hard sometimes#and there’s something about the ugly side of the whole idea of ‘yearning’ that i think about a lot#because so much of my yearning ISN’T pretty or wistful#it’s achingly desperate and lonely and uncertain#i dont know#i dont know if any of this is worded right#or if it’s all nonsense and i should just be quiet and go to sleep#idk
271 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hail Apollo and Hermes for helping me get my ass in gear to take care of a couple financial things that have been stressing me out for a while! ...and for the reminder to not impulse spend.
#and. of course. it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be!#i was told in no uncertain terms in my last tarot pull that some financial things would bite me in the ass if i didnt deal with them#so i said i would take care of them by the end of the month and i managed to!! well. mostly#im waiting for a checkbook to come in the mail so i can take care of the second one but the first one is settled#and im no longer terrified that i'm going to jail! (that was never going to be the outcome in the first place)#thank you apollo and hermes#i need to find something to offer. i'll figure something out#helpol#hermes#coriander says#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#apollo#hellenic community#pagans of tumblr#theoi#'it's not as bad/scary/catastrophic as it feels' has been a theme atm#the tarot pull was from last week ive just been thinking about it. it's about time to do another check-in pull but i wont be able to till#friday probably#i owe. $7 to the state of texas but afaik i'm only able to pay via check b/c of the circumstances so i had to get *80* of them#the only person i know who still uses checks is my grandpa#...the checkbook would be a good thing to keep on hermes“#*hermes's altar though#my post#gratitude post
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't know what im doing half the time to be quite honest
#literally was thinking about quitting art during a breakdown 2 days ago and now i just dont know#but ill still try#chatterbox#things are so uncertain for me im struggling a bit but. doing some art and ppl liking it reminds me why i still try and cheers me up
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
#im curious about the first 2 but uncertain the vibes will be for me (i wish i could explain my own taste but unfortunately its an enigma#to myself)#monster is good but i think the somberness of it makes it a bit of a slog so ive procrastinated on finishing it but i need to sometime#also open to other suggestions if its something i feel in the mood for rn#(which i wont know until i contemplate it bahaha)#hope this helps (probably not!)#p#13readsmanga
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
space fic ch1 tomorrow i think
#unless i reread it tomorrow while editing and hate it. which is possible but hopefully won't happen#im just a little uncertain about the tone overall being too light for the plot but that IS what coming back tmr with fresh eyes is for#so for now... i sleep. snzzzz#rimi talks
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
reading baldur's gate fic is so funny to me sometimes because almost every single tav i've read is like. a nerd. awkward. stuck in a library/commune/forest and doesn't know How To Do People. combat unready. a wee paper slip of a person. self-doubting and uncertain.
whereas i am out here with my bard who dumped all her stats in charisma and perception and therefore is no longer able to fail a persuasion check. and my personal backstory for her is that she's an insanely well known frontman for a rock band in baldur's gate so literally everyone they meet knows who she is. nonstop flirt. clocks manipulation left and right because seeing through performances is like half of her skillset. oh yeah. and she can fucking oneshot you by being mean in your direction.
#all tavs are created equal obvs but if you are not making your tav so op it's funny what is the point#i wrote some quick drabbles bc as always im irked by the way i cant tailor responses in rpg to match my characterization#and like. the funniest scene i have is when they go to the grove and literally EVERYONE there knows who she is.#it's like. if fucking beyonce picked up a rapier and a group of raggedy ass nobodies and said Let's Fucking Go#also making astarion have NO clue who she is was deeply funny to me. that old man doesnt listen to hip young music#he's too busy being traumatized and gay#bg3#im truly not being mean i love the awkward tavs too#it's just so very far from how i characterize my own i have to laugh#that said i want to do a durge run & HIM i plan to make awkward and uncertain#this rockstar persona all came about bc i want a canon reason to give her purple hair btw#and to dress her in slutty little shirts with tit windows#me playing bg3 as a dress up romance game as god intended#im saving the astarion romance for my durge run but they WILL be best friends. and yes. she falls for gale of all people
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't give a fuck that i'm getting older but seeing my loved ones aging does make me insane if im honest
#who else up with insomnia due to uncontrollable spiraling about the inevitable deaths of everyone they care for#im sure this is not a good mental health litmus but i'm not really sure what the best move is since it's not a fear i can reason away#my mom has been wanting to talk about her plans for when she dies#and her family is really long-lived so i'm hopeful that won't be for a long time#but it's so upsetting to talk about because i can tell she finds it upsetting to think about too#and seeing my parents uncertain still feels very scary in some ways even though i'm an adult now too#i know it's better to discuss it than live in denial but still :(#death mention#personal nonsense
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them
sometimes i watch that video just to feel something
#you are so valid for that anon#theres something about the energy of that video that really gets to me#theyre filming cause its promo and its good clickbait and its silly and fun and Them#but its also For Them yknow?? theyre like we're gonna talk about how we're gonna be apart for the longest time since we've known each other#AFTER 13 years of knowing each other#just even framing it like that really is wild. but its exactly what happens. and they're both on the same page of yeah its a long time.#which. it isnt That Long but it IS for them yknow!#the silly intro phil does in front of Dan's closet. and it starts with dan going oi if you're crying about me it better be a long video!#its goofy and ridiculous. theyre in this bouncy happy uncertain mood. because theres gotta be some adrenaline with it but also appreciating#each other while theyre still there together. then its the complete lack of intro to dan bc come on now its dan you know him. obviously.#& then its the 'sphere' convo and im like bitch. he wants to touch you cause youre leaving!!! let him!!#then dans genuine shock at the swear like mans is down BAD. and then the teasing! the so real plant teasing. but also general life concern#the heart cactus makes me feel some type of way okay#the sheer domesticity of the stair convo and the ps4 struggle#and how phil turns it right back on dan with the selfie incident and dan is bashful about it.#and how phil just. gets to say that dan cant shower in the bus. bc it freaks him out. & ofc dan wont stress him like that.#(also the closet rifling. something dan's 'nice to know you do. in a dark drawer somewhere' vs the lacey shirt being lacey underwear idea)#the bathroom being very clearly a shared space.#goddd theyre sooo smiley and soft and i Cant#dnp#c.text#dan and phil
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know riku was pointing at sora’s heart in that one kh2 scene because wordless storytelling is a virtue (and unfortunately becomes straight up nonexistent in modern kh) and like the audience already knows, they dont need to spell it out and its also just a very riku thing to do but…..
can i say something. it’s probably not canon at all but i always found it strange how riku-ansem’s voice went back to riku after the reveal that it was riku. it feels strange, like could he always do this? switch his voices back?
the way riku stays silent most of the time feels like he doesn’t even want to hear ansem’s voice come out of him. but the pointing part with sora (and many other scenes) feels like he only speaks when he finds it necessary, which doesnt feel necessary now that his voice is back to normal, because thats what we hear, and that should be true.. unless you think of it this way:
headcanon: riku’s voice coming out of riku-ansem can only be heard by sora and kairi (and by extension, the audience) after feeling his heart’s connection. (the thing where they closed their eyes and felt his heart)
i like to think that to anyone else he still sounds like ansem, including.. to riku himself. so he does the same as before, because to him, nothing has changed. he feels that hes still not himself, even after his friends know that its him now.
#robo ramble#GHRHAHGHH. i dunno i’ve always thought about this.#something something even if it changes me forever line because riku thinks hes gone as a person forever#GAAAHHH. that line is crazy because the cinematography was on point too#the fact that when he says that his eyes are obscured . which is made even more thematically insane by the fact that hes been wearing a#blindfold the whole time. obscuring parts of the face especially eyes is good way to show that#the character onscreen is feeling uncertain. perhaps even scared (SEE KH1 NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR FOR REFERENCE)#(said by guy who has everything to fear..) SO RIKU IS STRAIGHT UP NOT SURE IF HE’D EVEN BE HIMSELF ANYMORE#then when it focuses on riku-ansem it doesn’t immediately show his face AT ALL. then it zooms out. LIKE. AUGH IT WENT FROM#PARTIALLY OBSCURED TO COMPLETELY OBSCURED LIKE THATS HOW YOU FUCKING DO IIITTTT !!!!!! I MISS THIS SO MUCH#YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO IDEAAA BWAAAAUUGHHH !!!!!!!!#ok im normal now (lie)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way we know nothing about kuwabara's dad. the way he doesn't show up at all until the epilogue chapters. why is he not portrayed as someone who kazu and shizu wouldn't care about like yusuke's dad. they're like. the same to me. neither show up even until the end except atsuko tells yusuke's dad that he wouldn't be welcome while that same logic isn't applied to Mr. Kuwabara and i have no idea why
so in chapter 170 he comes outta nowhere and starts talking about the stuff that's gone on so far and kazuma is like "who tf told you" which means they don't talk to him. we don't even SEE shizuru interact with the guy. the only ref to her he makes is talking about her accepting yukina into their household.
he gives off the vibes of an estranged older family member like an uncle that you never see but it's bad because he's their DAD. they don't even mention the kuwabara siblings having a mom and no other guardian is mentioned so that means their dad was the only one but we NEVER SEE HIM TIL NOW. where the hell was he while all this shit was going down?? obviously he heard about it so why didn't he come check on them earlier? maybe it's just a plot hole but honestly i just think he sucks so bad lmao
the fact that he came back randomly without saying anything and made it clear that he heard about all the world changing things going on and maybe even heard about what his son's been getting into and this is the first time we're seeing his face. Shizuru has been taking care of her brother all this time and they both went to the demon world for the dark tournament that kazu participated in at FOURTEEN. he almost died several times before and after this and no father in sight for either of them. idk man just something about it
#im not gonna incorporate the epilogue chapters in my fic bc of this. i just don't like their dad#at least with yusuke's dad we know he's no good as a dad and atsuko told him in no uncertain terms he wouldn't be welcome#but Mr. Kuwabara just waltzes into their lives like it's nbd. wtv wtv#his role in my big bang is just gonna be recruiting kazu because if war breaks out between demons and humans it'll be a hassle#to say the least#so he's laid back about the whole thing approaching kuwa outta nowhere like it hasnt been ages#and bc nobody tells kuwa anything he has to hear about the trouble in makai from a father he barely knows. not demons he calls friends#his dad's like it's better to keep this on the down-low so better not to mention this to ur buddies from makai. it's just us kid!#i just really wanted to explore the teams consistent exclusion of kuwabara and make it come to a head in this fic#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#kazuma kuwabara#shizuru kuwabara
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
✨
#yknow im often intimidated by many of you because you seem so sure of yourselves and your convictions and settled in your identities#and meanwhile i feel so uncertain about so much and deeply afraid of expressing genuine likes dislikes opinions etc much of the time#because im afraid i will prove myself a fool#anyway i am saying this because identifying the fear and casting light on it is often helpful.#anyway i am young and i am learning how to live etc
24 notes
·
View notes