#just because the way i draw is already cartoony its hard to find a good balance between realism and not

[creaturefeaster]

This new lineup is already looking so gorgeous!! :D

:D Thank you! While I'm still trying to get over being shy sharing the living's line up right now, you can have a V.2 of the mime's line up since I colored them in:

[soleminisanction]

U know i do kinda find it weird how some make steph have camaraderie w the ppl that tim knows

Like outside of the generaal batfam sphere(excluding helena bc she is a outlier and maybe jason but even then they get paired up in fandom spaces)

She just not?? Amicable or a team player tbh

Like in yj19 all the sudden the c4(excluding tim) are cool w steph??? Like what? When did that happen???

(or even that arc that they went to evil alt earth where they are all evil but steph isnt??? Writer did u not even realize what you have said about the other steph???)

Idk i just think of all bat character, she is to be stricly gotham base

I give Brian Michael Bendis (the writer on YJ19) a pass because I was following him on Twitter from the point YJ19 and the Wonder Comics imprint was announced, all the way through the end of that series.

From the second the announcement was made, his social media was completely inundated with people demanding that Stephanie be included in YJ19, entirely because she'd last been seen leaving Gotham with Tim. He also got flooded with asks about whether Cissie would make an appearance, or Aqualad (because YJ animated was still at the peak of its popularity and there was a whole contingent of fans who had zero clue that Kaldur was created for that show and that Jackson Hyde looks like but isn't exactly him), but with Steph? He and his co-creators got full on harassed, and it only got worse because she happened to turn up in a flashback in Issue 4. There were Internet journalists who derailed interviews he was giving to hype up his new Black and gay heroines just to demand more Stephanie, it was bad.

And then there was this whole mess that's going to be hard to explain succinctly. But it boils down to: given the timing of when the series was announced, they almost certainly had issues #1-#3 fully drawn and either at or on its way to the printer, issues #4-6 at least partially drawn and colored, issues #7-9 completely scripted and possibly with pencil drafts under way, and issues #10-12 drafted, with an outline already prepared for the second year if they thought they were going to go beyond 12.

But then something happened after the announcement -- and it had to have been after the announcement, otherwise they could've pushed back their release dates -- that led them to rewrite the entire second half of the year, everything from the end of #5 on. You can tell because the covers, which get made ahead of the rest of the issue, start going really wonky from #6 on and don't match up with the contents of the story, plus there's disconnect in the early solicitations. Also they skipped a month between #6 and #7 while making #7 basically a filler issue with guest artists who happen to have very simple, quick-draw cartoony styles that are easier to produce in a hurry.

That kind of turn-around on a publishing project is nuts, it's not fun to deal with. I would be surprised if Bendis had time to give his artists more than a "shitty rough draft" to work off of. But like I said he was still getting this constant barrage of demands for Steph so, as long as he was doing rewrites anyway, he took the chance to drop her in, or maybe the editor insisted he do so to try to bring in more readers. Either way, he just didn't have the time to make it good or put any thought into it.

I honestly feel so bad for their whole creative team. That's such a terrible situation to be in, and the first five issues make me feel like they were really putting their hearts into it. It's so sad it got derailed so badly.

[love-takes-work]

Notes on SU Commentary Tracks

I watched the commentary tracks on the Complete Steven Universe DVD Set and I took some nerd notes.

The episodes with commentary tracks are “Reunited,” “Change Your Mind,” and “The Future.”

I’ll bold stuff that was maybe bigger news or more surprising for easier reading. And yes, some of this was already known from podcasts, other Q&As, or interviews, but I listed it if they said it again here.

Read on after the jump to read these and other highlights:

Steven’s original wedding speech

Older ideas on dialogue for Lapis when she came back to the beach

Scrapped concepts for the scene that ultimately included Steven communicating with the others in a mindscape

Discussions of earlier concepts for White Diamond having a power to “freeze” Gems into statues to make them perfect and having a gallery of them on Homeworld

Pink Pearl’s original fate

The translation of the writing on Obsidian’s sword

The origin of Pink Steven’s design

What Rebecca did to pitch the “SHE’S GONE” scene

Earlier plans to include Shep in “Change Your Mind”

An unused concept of how Steven feels about Biggs

The inspiration for the Heaven and Earth Beetles’ healed design

How Volleyball/Pink Pearl was almost a mini-villain

Discussion of how they did not get to share the origin of the Diamonds

Jasper’s scrapped participation in the movie

“Reunited” - 

Commentary with Rebecca Sugar, Ben Levin, Matt Burnett, Hilary Florido, Joe Johnston, Ian Jones-Quartey, and Kat Morris.

In 2015, an episode idea called “If You Love Yourself So Much” was discussed but rejected. It included some early ideas that ended up getting incorporated into “Reunited,” most notably Garnet marrying herself and putting rings on both hands.

The idea of the Cluster arm wrestling was planned for a long time. A scrapped idea of Steven banging his fist on a vending machine to get some Chaaaaps was supposed to visually parallel some of that scene, but it was axed.

When they got pushback on the wedding idea, they kept adding more and more “high entertainment value” items like a big musical number so the episode would be absolutely unmissable and appealing to everyone.

The song at the beginning of the episode was meant to check in with the entire cast and sort of remind you they exist and what their state of mind is going into the wedding.

Ian made a comment joking about “All 15 people in Beach City” being in the audience.

Just about everyone on the Crew touched this episode, despite that there are four main storyboarders credited for “Reunited.”

In 2016 Ian Jones-Quartey proposed marriage to Rebecca Sugar. They felt like the characters based on them (Sapphire and Ruby) HAD to get married in the show now because otherwise it wouldn’t be honest. But then their characters got married before they did.

They really love the idea of having characters get married who have known each other for a really long time, versus the fairy tale trope of movies ending with weddings between people who have met very recently.

Steven’s speech as officiator at the wedding used to be longer in its first draft--it was described as being weird and full of jokes, and there would have been a scene with Pearl getting weepy and pulling tissues out of her pearl.

Ian mentions loving a joke Jeff came up with having Greg play one chord to make Steven fall asleep--it’s sort of a “dream” chord you hear in cartoons a lot before a dream sequence.

The Crew discussed what it might be like if someone had never seen the show before and started with this episode.

Ian really wanted Steven’s psychic powers to figure into the episode.

Blue using a sadness wave to attack the Gems was a very old idea they’d planned for a long time. So was Lapis’s arrival.

There was a discussion of having Lisa Hannigan performing her lines as Blue VERY early in the morning.

Ian was happy the sword got broken because it was so momentous but it was just a sword. And later appeared on a shelf in the house as an artifact.

Miki had drawn a torn dress for Garnet at one point so she could be shown fighting and moving around more accurately, and this led to a long discussion of whether Gem clothing can even actually get torn the way human clothes can. They concluded that no, it shouldn’t be torn, so they backed up and gave Garnet an open-front dress from the beginning so the fighting version would make more sense.

Lapis originally might have had a longer speech upon arriving back on the beach. They eventually decided to just have her say “Hey.”

The barn falling on Blue Diamond was an intentional Wizard of Oz reference.

They point out that Steven even once said “drop the barn on the beach” (in a previous episode, “Can’t Go Back,” which was also a Miki episode).

Destroying the house was a big deal, and they always thought they’d end up doing it but backed away from it until “Reunited.” They almost even did it back in “Coach Steven”! But it just ended up with a little damage to the porch.

The Crew thinks Miki is really good at drawing ensemble shots.

Rebecca was always overwhelmed whenever she got to have Patti LuPone record for Yellow.

Originally the giant figures of everyone’s statue bodies in the mindscape were too dark and had to be revamped so they could be seen.

An earlier idea of Steven’s “psychic-ghost-situation” had him as a ghost actually trying to interact with the other characters during fighting action, but it was pulled back to this mindscape so there wouldn’t be as much confusing action to keep track of and more focus on what Steven was doing to encourage his teammates and contact the Diamonds.

Hilary was glad not to have to block out a fight.

Ian mentions loving having Bismuth back in the group.

They originally wanted the “Diamonds sensing Pink’s energy” plot to happen when Steven was in the palace somehow, but everything got moved to this scene--which the Crew all agrees turned out incredible, like how cool it was to have Steven essentially reminding each character why they fight and summing up their whole arc in a sentence.

“Change Your Mind”

Commentary with Rebecca Sugar, Ben Levin, Matt Burnett, Hilary Florido, Joe Johnston, Ian Jones-Quartey, and Kat Morris.

They like to refer to this episode as “The movie before the movie.”

They loved incorporating “princess tropes” into Steven’s time on Homeworld, which is why there were so many references to “mice” (well, Pebbles) making clothes, being locked in a tower, being reminded of his manners, loving animals and freeing imprisoned pets, etc. 

Deedee did the voice of the rainbow worm pet. She apparently didn’t find it memorable and was surprised when she was reminded she did the voice.

Rebecca was super excited for the confrontation with Blue.

There was some discussion of how Steven would have died of starvation if he didn’t have someone practical like Connie to remember to bring food.

They love working with the huge scale the Diamonds present.

The Crew always wanted to put someone in Blue’s hair loop. Originally they wanted Blue to tuck Greg in there when she kidnapped him, but they didn’t end up being able to do any hair-loop-carrying until this episode.

The Crew bantered back and forth about what the heck those Pebbles’ names were and how hard it was to track them.

They agreed that Paul draws the best Yellow Diamond, which makes sense since he also drew the first episode with Yellow (and her stink face). 

The scene where Yellow asks Blue to stop using her powers on her and then realizing she’s crying on her own was one of Rebecca’s favorite scenes to get to finally.

Steven Sugar thought Gems would spend a lot of time in their own chambers/rooms just not really doing much of anything unless they had to fulfill their purpose.

Some of the Homeworld ideas were based on a Soviet artist’s concepts, Boris Artzybasheff, and also many ideas were inspired by Busby Berkeley regarding how people were objects and furniture.

The mech was an old idea. Once they had the hand ship from “Jailbreak,” they knew there had to be bodies somewhere.

They focused a lot about what could be the coolest and funniest way for something to happen. The concept of the yellow and blue spaceship arms appearing out of the sky to smack the White Diamond mech around was one of those.

Rebecca really wanted things to look more and more cartoony and bizarre as you get deeper into Homeworld.

They spent a very long time trying to decide on characters’ new outfits.

The trash can lid is said to be a reference to “a flying bear cartoon” and they dance around speaking a direct reference because they’re not sure they’re allowed to say its name.

In discussing the powers of the Diamonds, there were debates on what White’s power would be; with Yellow being physicality-based and Blue being emotion-based, they thought White as identity-based made the most sense.

Different ways to express this were played with before settling on the idea that she thinks she’s perfect and others’ colors make them less like her and less perfect. But then she becomes a hostage to her own beliefs about herself because if she does anything that reflects on everyone else, so it’s best to do nothing.

They had some cool earlier ideas of White’s powers making statues out of other Gems and having a gallery full of frozen Gems, frozen by White to make them perfect.

They also weren’t sure what fate befell the original Pink Pearl and discussed whether she might have been destroyed. 

Rebecca discussed how creepy it was to have White Pearl speaking in Christine’s voice and not Deedee’s--that we should find it fundamentally disturbing at this point.

Tom Herpich came up with the crack on White Pearl’s face.

In real life, pink diamonds aren’t understood as well as yellows and blues. It’s more known what makes a diamond yellow or blue, and some of those facts Rebecca researched were originally woven into the speech White gave about their “impurities.” But it turned out to be too dry and most of it got cut.

Rebecca loves having Lapis with pants and sandals for easier cosplay.

Ian had to draw the scene where Steven is falling and fusing with inert characters--he wasn’t able to properly explain it to Rebecca so she had him draw it.

They really wanted Rainbow Quartz 2.0 to have a scarf, but they couldn’t figure out how to get that into Pearl’s design. They miss the scarf.

It was really important to have these Fusions display call-forwards of the Gems’ new outfits which we hadn’t yet seen.

Rebecca points out that Sunstone’s design breaks a design rule and she feels like Sunstone should have Garnet’s pant leg colors on their legs, but at the same time she understands the rule of cool and likes it like this.

It’s discussed how none of Steven’s fusion weapons are exclusively offensive weapons either.

Rebecca still really wants a suction cup Sunstone toy.

Sunstone’s ability to transcend reality and break the fourth wall was a joke that exploded in the discussion room among the Crew. As soon as the idea was pitched everyone kept coming up with ideas. Sardonyx’s fourth-wall-breaking is more snarky, but Sunstone’s is helpful.

Rebecca was disappointed that the rule about Steven’s clothes wasn’t always followed with having his clothes appear on Obsidian’s hand, but she was delighted that you could see them in one scene.

They spent a lot of discussion time on making sure Steven-Obsidian was different somehow from Rose-Obsidian. The hair is different.

Old versions of Obsidian were drawn with wrapped-together Twizzlers legs, which sort of is reflected in the present design.

The sword had been planned forever--and it first appeared in “Bubble Buddies.”

Miki worked on the Ninja Turtles show so Rebecca was really excited to see her depictions of Bismuth and Sunstone.

An early plan to have Obsidian draw the sword from their mouth was complicated because fusion weapons should be combinations, so they finally reached the solution of having them combine to make the hilt, then get the blade out of Obsidian’s mouth.

The blade of the sword is thought to say “We’ll always save the day,” but you’d have to ask Steven Sugar.

Another really old idea was climbing into the White Diamond mech eye.

Rebecca was disappointed that some of the merch made of White Diamond did not feature her cape sparkles.

There were many debates early on about where Rose might “actually” be. There were tons of references to this fundamental question throughout the show--introducing Lapis as a Gem trapped in an object, having Pearl ponder pulling Steven’s Gem out as a baby, straight-up wondering what would happen to him in “Bubbled” when Eyeball was trying to take his Gem, etc. They all decided Rose was definitely gone but that the idea of her possibly being inside him should be on his mind a lot, leading to disturbing images like dreaming about coughing up her hair.

Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond both challenged Steven about things he was very confident about, but White’s question of his identity got to him because he in fact is not confident about that.

The black and white eeriness of the fuzzy background and the other characters having their colors washed out helped make the scene in White Diamond’s head so disturbing and creepy.

The split screen showing Steven’s two perspectives was exciting to Rebecca, and was a pretty old idea. And she points out it sort of “breaks the show.”

The Gem Steven, Pink Steven, was represented by a slightly modified version of his model sheet. Everyone laughed when they saw what was getting used.

They decided that an earlier idea of Pink Steven looking angry should be replaced by an emotionless version of him. All the emotion should be with Organic Steven.

In the pitch meeting for this episode, Rebecca herself screamed “SHE’S GONE!!” and shocked the hell out of everyone. She pointed out how no one expected this of her because she’s pretty quiet, but she just wanted to shock everyone the way Steven would in the show.

They point out this is the first appearance of the geometric shield that got so much use in Future.

The fact that Steven is Steven is the ultimate reveal of the show. Usually in fantasy shows there’s some other kind of revelation, but Steven just being amazingly human and amazingly Gem and amazingly himself is wonderful here.

They like having the pilot reference with “What’s your excuse?”

If Rose had somehow still been alive in him, all of this would have been cheapened.

Ian loves that you can faintly hear Sadie’s concert from way out in space as the camera approaches Earth.

They got a lot more use out of the Beach-A-Palooza stage than they thought they would when it had to be designed for “Steven and the Stevens.” There was a joke about how at one of the conventions a real Beach-A-Palooza stage was constructed and they had a thought about how oh good, it’s getting reused.

Sadie having green hair in the finale was a late change but they liked showing her progression. 

They had originally kicked around the idea of Sadie already having her new partner Shep at this point, but decided to develop that in Future instead.

They compare White Diamond’s stepping gingerly into the fountain to skeptically getting into a public pool.

Some silliness they didn’t get to use was that Biggs would be “beloved by everyone” except Steven. They never got to cover it, but originally Steven was just going to not really understand why everyone loves her so much and doesn’t personally much care for her.

The Heaven and Earth Beetles are based on the Mothra Ladies.

The healed Gems’ horns are supposed to be side effects of the corruption that they continue to bear in the present.

Larimar and Orange Spodumene ended up different in the ending scene than they became in Future. Many of the designs were retroactively pulled into this scene after being designed for the movie.

Rebecca wrote “Change Your Mind” as a personal song to express her feelings surrounding her fight for the wedding.

“The Future”

Commentary with Rebecca Sugar, Kat Morris, Alonso Ramirez Ramos, Hilary Florido, Joe Johnston, and Ian Jones-Quartey.

The animatic for this episode ran SO long--they’re supposed to be just over 11 minutes but this one was 17 minutes.

Steven’s calisthenics routine, a callback to “Future Vision,” was on the chopping block to make the episode shorter but Rebecca wouldn’t allow it to be cut because she wanted to show that Steven’s been taking care of himself.

They were very excited to get a chance to cover some of the things in Future that they couldn’t squeeze into the original show, like the unbubbled Rose Quartzes, Volleyball, etc.

The new writers on the show also helped bring forward the idea of Steven finally making some of his OWN mistakes to fix.

This also helped construct the idea of Steven essentially being the “final boss” of his own battle.

Usually stories that involve someone being in a fight and winning don’t explore the effect just being in a fight has on a person, regardless of whether you won. 

Rebecca really wanted to play Ocarina of Time after beating it so she could go back to all the places and see how people were doing. She wanted this epilogue series to explore that a little too.

Little Homeschool is sort of a Tiny Toons reference--older cartoons teach younger cartoons how to be cartoons, and this is Gems teaching other Gems how to be Gems on Earth. 

Lamar came up with the silly joke about receiving that art set with all the different media types in it--the one artists are always getting from a well-meaning relative at holiday time.

A scrapped plot idea involved Volleyball/Pink Pearl as a sort of “mini-villain,” with a focus on her activating the un-activated Pearls.

There’s discussion of how victimization turns people into villains sometimes. But since showing that happening with Volleyball wouldn’t have served the interests of Steven’s arc, they couldn’t fit it in.

There was also a “very specific” Gem origin and Diamond origin story that’s quasi-religious in nature--it’s very cool and complicated. But they do not tell us what it is.

Ian and Joe both really wanted to have Jasper living alone in the woods and stacking rocks. They’re glad they got this series to do that with her.

There was originally an idea for a B-plot involving Jasper in the movie. They don’t discuss the specifics.

There were many ideas they didn’t get to work on because they would have started new arcs and Future was not about kicking new plots into gear.

“Mr. Universe” was the last episode they wrote/finished.

Miki really wanted to include a kiss between Connie and Steven to show their relationship was okay. Among the Crew everyone knew their relationship was basically eternal but Miki wanted to make sure WE knew that.

Steven driving conveyed momentum for Future; in the original show, we always came back to the laundry hand, back to home, but in Future that’s changed and home isn’t what it was. 

They were really excited that a gourd family made it to the crowd scene in Future.

Thanks for reading!

Note: The movie had some commentary tracks too, but the one on this DVD set is the same as the one released on the original standalone movie DVD, so I did not outline it here. Here is my post about the DVD commentary from the movie.

[orionshounds]

I’ve been knee deep in dsmp lore streams and I just want to ramble about it

Dream smp lore is so good, it’s so good!!! Not only is the story itself just fascinating, but how it’s presented so uniquely through the medium of minecraft of all things is just so cool. One of my favorite parts of the lore is seeing how everyone on the smp has their own “style” they present it in, and watching them find the way they find the most enjoyment in is so cool. Literally no two streamer’s lore stream quite like each others and it’s just incredible! It just speaks to the flexibility of roleplay as an artistic medium and really shows everyone’s individual personalities. 

Wilbur was dramatic as hell and wrote eloquent speeches. He started a drug operation under the guise as a country, and it lead to a revolution in which he was able to explore the spiral of a man who loses control of everything he had built. And after his arc and he wanted a break from the server? He created ghostbur, an amnesic comic relief with just enough touch of tragedy that he is still able to make heartbreaking monologues when he wants to.

Tommy is able to run around with his friends and cause as much chaos to his heart’s extent, but there is so much more than meets the eye. He is incredibly social and isn’t afraid to start conflict with a lot of people, bringing them into the roleplay. He doesn’t back down from storytelling either. His character goes through terrible situations and he fully explores the trauma that comes from those experiences. His character goes against the “stereotypical” trauma I see alot in media; instead of being shy or scared he’s reactionary, he’s angry, he’s violent, he’s depressed. I’m actually really impressed with the heavy subject matter this 17 year old teen has managed to portray (I’ve connected with it quite personally at certain points), while still being able to keep the light hearted fun that’s so intrinsic to his personality. 

Tubbo isn’t really interested in serious lore as much. Even in dire moments he tells jokes and just has fun. So, in his recent lore, he just streams as normal while putting mysterious writing on screen that he doesn’t acknowledge or have to explain, which I think is just a genius work around for him to participate in lore. He still has his dedicated lore streams sometimes, and when he is in the acting zone he has some of the most powerful moments out of everyone on the server.

Ranboo, while having stake in the greater smp lore, is much more character focused. He presents his lore through long monologues and fucking heart-wrenching voice acting. He loves working in themes of horror and causing a specific feeling in the viewer. So he chooses specific music as a themes for events/characters and creates visual queues in his overlays to draw out that desired reaction. He also values improve a LOT, if something unexpected comes up he just runs with it and he has made huge changes to his lore as early as 30 min before a stream.

Technoblade, while arguably one of the most powerful people on the server, prefers a more light-hearted yet dramatic approach to lore. When Dream was at his house looking for Tommy, Techno had no problem joking around and making fun of him for being homeless. He tore down an entire nation on the server and had so much fun doing it! He’s more of an antagonist than a true villain in my opinion. And lets not forget how dedicated he is to the game, he’s cracked at the craft. He spends hours grinding and creating farms on the smp, for amazing pay offs (his several vault reveals, the withers, etc), most of which weren’t even on stream!

Karl Jacobs is extremely social, so he created Tales from the smp as a way to involve TONS of people in lore while exploring the past and future of the server (it was also a way for viewers who weren’t that well versed in dsmp lore to join and not have to worry about it!). And through this premise, he took the opportunity to develop his own character on the smp; making an incredibly tragic story of a time traveler trying to save his home while slowly loosing his memories. Not to mention the beautifully shot cutscenes of the Inbetween and the Other Side. He includes so many people behind the scenes as well, collabing with other members on lore, hiring building teams and people to make intros and credit scenes, and promoting fanart and fansongs from the community!

Quackity explores his lore through heavily scripted events and amazingly shot cut scenes. While the way he expresses his lore comes at the cost of improv, the payoff of the visuals and story is well worth it! The shots he makes of the smp is downright gorgeous, no to mention he’s the first person to include irl footage in his lore (not counting facecams)! He’s not afraid of thoroughly examining his own character, being one of the only people I can think of that shows us “past events” leading up to something that has already happened.

Badboyhalo, Antfrost, Ponk, Skeppy, Captain Puffy, Punz, Awesamdude, Hannahxxrose all work together on shared lore and the payoff is amazing! By introducing the Egg, a constant antagonistic force that constantly pulls on character’s relationships with each other, everyone is able to stream together to battle for or against the egg! There’s also plenty of room for people to do individual lore that's more intimate to their respective character. They spend hours changing vines, putting up posters, slowly shaping the smp in a way that makes it exciting to watch streams to see just what has changed everyday. Because there’s so many people necessary to tell the egg’s story, it does comes at the cost of time (the egg has been around FOREVER). However, they all work together super hard and I just admire their commitment to the story they’re trying to tell!

And Sam! He has several different “Modes” his character is in (and an entirely separate character, Sam Nook) that he gets to explore lore with. He’s a terrifying warden, he’s a money motivated businessman, he’s a conflicted lover, he’s a traumatized victim of the egg, and just so much more. Through having so many different “roles” in the rp he gets to explore relationships and plotlines with a whole array of people. Not to mention he’s absolutely cracked at redstone and has some of the most impressive builds on the server.

And Puffy! So much of her lore is calling into question the morality of the server and really makes you step back and think critically about the characters. Her character also has, in my opinion, one of the most interesting relationships with Dream, the main antagonist of the entire server, which is just fascinating to watch unfold. Not to mention she’s one of the first people to start exploring the backstory of her character!

George doesn’t exactly do lore. In fact he’s slept through so much of it it’s become a meme. And you know what? That mad man took that and ran with it. He explains his absence in the story by having his character literally being asleep through it, creating mystery where there used to just be an absence. He’s able to goof off with his friends and have borderline nonsensical streams, then at the end sucker punch the audience emotionally by “waking up” and have the viewers question just what was real and what wasn’t?

The smp has the freedom for people who want more independent lore to be able to explore their character’s that way as well!

Hbomb, Connereatspants, and Purpled don’t have a lot of lore on the smp, generally only coming on to have fun with everyone, but when they do have their moments it unfolds in very interesting ways!

Sapnap, Eret, and Schlatt maybe aren’t as active as some other people, but when they are on they actively participate in lore and have lasting impacts on the story (Ex: Eret’s betrayal, Sapnap’s visit to dream in the prison, Schlatt becoming president).

Philza mostly does his own thing, improving the server or making some bomb ass builds. He has incredibly devastating roles in lore (killing wilbur, blowing up L’manberg for the final time, starting the syndicate with Techno), but he also has quieter moments that speak to the depth his character has, such as fishing with fundy or reminiscing about his dead son and how it went so wrong. Like Techno, he doesn’t like to take lore completely seriously, often laughing no matter what’s happening or teasing chat after something big goes down, but his character is solid with a lot of potential for future lore.

Foolish has only started on his character and its already super interesting. The hints at his dark past as a “god of death” and his current conflict with the egg are intriguing as fuck. Not to mention the MASSIVE builds he does for everyone, helping to progress their lore as well.

Fundy has a lot of freedom with his character to participate however much he wants in lore. While generally he’s a trickster who loves to prank people he has enough tragedy build into his backstory he’s able to break the viewer’s heart with a flip of a switch. Not to mention his recent, almost surreal, stream that explored his character’s disturbing dreams that may or may not predict the future.

Niki is very character driven, exploring her character's grief of losing her best friend and her anger of being ignored in the very country she helped create. She has incredibly emotional moments, and even though she’s on her own building an underground city she still participates in other lore via teaming with jack manifold or the syndicate.

Jack Manifold’s lore is VERY character focused, and while he’s described his story as a “B plot that occasionally intersects with the main plot”, the story he tells is still fascinating. Being pushed aside not taken seriously his whole life, his character develops into a fun cartoony-esque villain who begs to be taken seriously, that has the depth of a truly conflicted person who is torn between wanting revenge on everyone who’s done him wrong and just wanting a friend.

Last but not least, the man himself, Dream. The most fascinating thing about his lore is that absolutely none of it is from his pov. All we know about his character is only from what we see from everyone else’s povs, and in his case it leads to a very intimidating villain! Not to mention, mans owns the damn server and yet has made himself the main antagonist! He is the only character I consider a “true villain” on the smp. His voice acting and writing is downright sinister. I could write a fucking essay on how his character’s obsession with power has led him to the point he thinks himself an unstoppable god

Everyone on this server is stunning and I love all of them!!!!!

[spacedlexi]

ok i got a few different messages from people so im gonna answer them under the cut but i dont think theres a whole lot more to be said so i think im done publicly responding after these

thank you to everyone who chimed in i really appreciate all the comments regardless of your opinion because in the end i just want to do better and i know this is all coming from a place of good will 💕

i get what youre saying here, and someone else mentions this down the post, but like, im drawing specific characters that are already defined. there is only so much i can exaggerate to the point where they lose their likeness and i dont want to Over exaggerate. like the other artist you mention is pretty cartoony, and thats not really exactly what im going for. spider verse is the Most cartoony id get but again its not my goal for my main art style, which is the one im assuming youre talking about. 

also not sure how you mean “when you push to exaggerate you can find more realism” because i feel like those things are at odds. you also talk about proportions which, i do try to keep, well, in proportion. i dont like pushing my proportions too much because then it becomes too exaggerated and thats not what im going for. also to reiterate im drawing already defined characters so im trying to keep their likenesses and i dont want to push them to the point where they lose that. the artist youve been referring to mostly seems to draw original characters, which is fine, but theres more freedom in that

but like ive already said im always aware of trying to make features identifiable and unique without losing that likeness. arcane has been a big inspo in that regard recently and im only just starting to really break that down specifically so youre really just gonna have to give me time to improve on that,,

thank you for the nice words and yes noses and lips can be harder for me to differentiate, more specifically lips, and the nostrils over the bridge or roundness/sharpness of the nose, but it does also come back to keeping a characters likeness so its a fine line to walk. especially when the character is more realistically portrayed and i have to figure out the best way to stylize them without Over stylizing them or missing the mark 😓

ive seen some artists with Severe same face syndromes and its always sad for me to see even when i like the art overall, so i do things like making those charts to compare features to make sure theres not too much of a visual overlap between anyone. theres only So much you can do when youre drawing a pre established character because you want them to look like themselves, but also youre stylizing them, so you gotta be careful to not push too hard. at least in my case where i dont want to be overly exaggerated bc thats not what im going for

i used to be more exaggerated in the past but over the years ive done more portrait studies and am trying to be closer to the realism side of the semi realism spectrum. at least for my main style. sometimes im more cartoony but thats not my main goal its just when im being lose or messing around. i like exaggeration of expression more than exaggeration of features, but its not like im Not defining features, theyre just not pushed to cartoony extremes. and Again im limited in how far i can push if i want a character to retain their likeness especially for a semi realistic style

so thank you for thinking im doing a good job at differentiating between characters 😭 i really do put a lot of effort into it without being too cartoony

ok yeah heres the one that pointed out im limited in just how far i can push features without a character becoming unidentifiable. everything i do or change when i draw a preestablished character is in an effort to make them look as much like themselves as possible, and Very Rarely altering things (really the only thing i can think of is i give clem slightly larger lips bc hers in game are so tiny and my girl doesnt deserve thin lips lol. theres a specific piece of concept art from s3 of clem that i absolutely adore and its where i get the blocked in upper lip from. that piece of concept art is my biggest inspo when it comes to drawing her bc i feel like its near Perfect aha the eyes are just like Slightly too far apart proportionally)

and youre right that sometimes people conflate a consistent style with same face, but i dont want to be quick to jump to conclusions, because again im trying to hear everyone out bc i know this is all coming from a place of good will and i always want to do better, especially in this regard. but some of the critique has sounded like they want me to alter my style to be more exaggerated. right now my biggest art inspo is arcane because they have such a beautiful array of distinguished faces while still being imo perfectly stylized

im glad you think i do a good job making everyone distinct,, thank you for the encouragement,,

yeah this is why ive been so confused because im being told i have same face but also that i have variation of shape and im ??? like im trying to make it make sense. this feels like a good summation of whats been going on and where the disconnect is happening. again ive been trying to not just boil it down to “thats just my style” because i want to take it seriously, but i do feel like im being asked to be more exaggerated which begins to push that line im toeing of stylized realism

in my college painting class we dove into proportions Extensively and theres so much to keep in mind when laying out a face specifically

this is just off the top of my head so i think im forgetting a thing or two, plus its fast so its a little off but this is the general idea (like i think theres about another eye length on both sides of your face between your eyes and the side of your head but idr 100%), but like no matter what your features are or how big or small they are they will Generally line up like this. so you can use this method with small faces or long faces or slim faces or wide faces, these proportions Usually hold up regardless. just like with the proportions for the rest of your body. did you know your foot is the same length as the inner part of your forearm? did you know your face is the same size as your hand? unique for everyone BUT still holds up proportionally to yourself

but the fun part about knowing proportions is being able to work with them to create identifiable faces, and thats what im trying to do. ive learned the proportions but now im just trying to push them in a way that is still “correct” but stylized, and identifiable by character

--

ive come a really long way in just the last few years, and that was off the back of a 5 year burn out hiatus. so im really happy with the progress ive made but obviously theres always room for improvement and im always looking to do so. whenever im happy with my art i always get excited thinking about how im going to continue to improve and what my art will look like in the future :) so i do appreciate people wanting to help see me do better, but on my personal blog where i post things for fun, maybe just ask if you can give critique first,, and depending on what it is maybe we can just keep it between us. i promise i wont bite aha 💕 i just need to be emotionally in the right space to receive it

[softforcal]

Floral : Tattooist!Cal

Summary: Renowned tattoo artist Calum Hood doesn’t take apprentices often, but when he does, he tackles the challenge like everything else in his life: with the utmost professionalism. Until he meets Lily, a learning artist, and Calum falls head over heels before he can help himself. 

Warnings: there’s smut. but its super slow burn.

Cal Mood Board: Lily

Word Count: 13.3k

--------------------

     The young, heavily tattooed man sat at the receptionist desk in his parlour. His head was bowed, chiseled jaw set, eyebrows furrowed as he studied the papers scattered in front of him.

     Art littered the sheets and after a good, long look, the man would either add the paper to a pile on his left or on his right.

     The stack to his left was large and separated in two with a combined paper count of well over three hundred.

     The stack to his right was substantially smaller, containing only five or six hand picked sheets.

     Buzzing filled the space, one of his workers and friends, a man named Michael, was finishing up the last client of the day. His words didn’t even register to the focused man at the front as Michael wiped off the skin carefully, put a bandage over it and then walked the client to the reception desk. The woman paid and left, leaving the two large aussies to silence.

     Michael looked over Calum’s shoulder, hands reaching out to pull at one of the last few sheets yet to be judged, “this is nice.” Michael stated.

     Calum cocked his head, taking the paper gingerly from his friend.

     He had to admit, there was something interesting to the style.

     It was floral, which Calum usually shied away from, but something about this piece just captured his eye. The lines were thin and delicate, precise and deliberate, they caught his attention and drew his gaze along each light, flouncy, petal. It was realism, which was Calum’s specialty. As much as he enjoyed the more cartoony things, Calum had a reputation for making tattoos that seemed to jump out of the skin.

     And this piece definitely did that.

     He added it to the pile on his right.

     Michael helped him decide on the last few and finally he was done, having finished with six sheets of paper that Calum then carefully picked up, “now for the hard part.” he stated.

     Michael’s laugh echoed through the tattoo parlour, “those all look sick man, i don’t know how you’re going to choose, glad I don’t have your fucking job.”

     “You going home for the day?”

     “Might go to a bar, wanna drink?”

     “Hmmm.” Calum sighed, “I need to finish this up.”

     “Well I’ll tell you one thing, if you don’t choose whoever the fuck did that flower piece, I’m going to break into your application file, find them, and get them to tattoo me. Girly or not, that shit was fire.”

-------

     Calum’s dog Duke padded around his feet as Calum walked through his apartment. His fingers held the glass of whiskey loosely by his side as he approached his work desk. Letting out a long sigh, Calum collapsed into his plush, slightly worn, work chair, setting his drink down.

     The final six contenders were all in front of him.

     Two of them were animal sketches, one was more geometric, and the final three were florals. As much as he tried to give each one the same amount of time and attention, his eyes kept going back to that one floral one.

     Calum was very specific about taking on apprentices.

     He’d only ever had two, and after he was done with them, they were almost as renowned as he was.

     Thinking about the artists brought a smile to his face. His hand absentmindedly rubbed at the triangle on his forearm, just under his horse shoe tattoo.

     The idea had been Michael’s originally, and it had been a joke. No one thought Calum would actually do it. So when Calum had allowed his first apprentice to graduate to full tattooist stature by taking a gun and putting whatever he wanted onto Calum’s body, everyone had been shocked.

     But, his first apprentice had been kind, opting for a geomorphic animal hybrid tattoo. It was medium sized, a black triangle with a wolf face inside. Calum hadn’t looked the entire process, putting his complete trust in the man he’d just spent over a year training.

     Everyone had been shocked. His friends had filmed most of it and it had gone viral.

     Calum was known for his tattooing skills but he was also known for his tattoos, he could be very particular about who took a needle to his body so this was the ultimate show of confidence in his teaching abilities.

     Whenever Calum found himself retreating into himself he’d look down at the lone wolf tattoo on his forearm to remind himself to open up a little, to enjoy his pack and welcome new members.

     New apprenticeship applications had been abundant after that, with Calum getting at least three or four hundred applicants whenever he announced that he would be taking on someone new.

    The second apprentice had gotten Calum on his stomach with his shirt off and had began to wipe down a very large expanse of Calum’s practically unmarked back when it was decided that Calum’s apprentices would have to run their final tattoo idea by Calum’s senior artists first.

     Michael voted yes to having a massive dragon on Calum’s back but Calum, Ashton and Luke had vetoed that idea.

     The dragon had been substantially shrunk down to a red and black little reptilian creature on Calum’s shoulder, its tail wrapped protectively around his upper arm. Whenever Calum wore shirts that showed off the intricate, very real looking piece, Michael would always joke and pretend to talk to the dragon which he had since named “lil Sebastian.” Calum had denied this name but that never stopped Michael.

     Calum enjoyed the application process.

     He enjoyed looking at all of the art which he insisted be sent in with a coded system that he didn’t know, that way, he had no idea of the age, gender, ethnicity, or background of any of the applying artists. He wanted to make it fair. He wanted to choose the best because their art was the best, not because of any other possible side reasons.

     The floral piece made him want to know who had drawn it.

     Which was odd. Usually Calum was okay with not knowing. But there was, as Michael had pointed out, something about it.

     Calum took a deep breath, picking up the sheet one last time.

     He wasn’t the type to ever let his heart make decisions for him, but he knew that this choice was backed by his eyes and his mind as well. Whoever this artist was, they had talent, and Calum wanted to be there to take that talent, which was already spectacular, and somehow make it better.

     The decision had been made. Now all that was left was for his receptionist (who for the time being was Ashton since their receptionist was on mat leave) would call the artists.

     It was a Friday, and by Monday, if the artist accepted, his parlour would have a new apprentice, and Calum would once again embark on a year to three year teaching mission that at the end he would have a new tattoo and an artist to show for it.

-----------

     Lily waited for the coffee. The long sleeves of her oversized denim were perfect for fidgeting and she took full advantage, rolling the worn fabric between her fingers.

     A strand of blonde hair had fallen loose from the messy bun atop her head, dangling in front of her face, but Lily was too wired and distracted to even notice.

     “Black coffee and a frap for Lily?” the cute barista guy said. Announcing her name was just a formality, the barista had flirted with Lily at the till, he knew who she was and his eyes were bright as he handed her the drinks.

     She offered a small smile before rushing from the shop.

     She’d had a last minute spur of anxiety about showing up to her apprenticeship the first day without anything. She’d rather be on time with coffee than early and empty handed.

     Lily dodged around people on the street, her small frame making it easy, the large black denim flaring out behind her like a flag. She slowed down as she approached the parlour.

     Her palms were sweating and she could feel her heart practically beating out of her chest. She took a few deep breaths. When she’d applied to the apprenticeship she didn’t think she’d actually get in.

     Lily had always loved drawing and somewhere along the way she’d realized that the doodles in the margins of her textbooks could become something more. She’d been accepted to a pretty high end arts school and one of her teachers had brought up tattooing in a class.

     Lily had immersed herself, and a month later, had already given herself a stick and poke but it was nowhere near as pretty as she had wanted it to be.

     She’d become addicted to tattoos.

     By the time she’d finished at the arts school, she’d had numerous tattoos done, all floral, of course.

     Lily had found HoodTats on instagram in her second year and had been following his posts religiously since then. He only ever posted his art which was something she always appreciated, knowing that whenever that notification popped up on her phone, she’d be able to see a new piece from the artist as opposed to pictures non-art related.

     When he announced his apprenticeship reopening, Lily had worked her ass off, but had accepted the fact that she wouldn’t be chosen.

     When she’d gotten a call on Saturday morning and an aussie accent had told her she’d been chosen, Lily had dropped her phone to scream. Scrambling to grab her cell again, she and the man had exchanged a light hearted chuckle, and he’d given her info on what she needed to do. It had seemed so surreal, Lily was shocked she’d even been of sound mind enough to be able to jot down the information on her drawing pad.

     And now there she was, standing in front of the parlour.

     She stood there for a moment, just looking at the doors.

     “You going in or what?” a voice asked.

     Lily jumped, grip tightening on her coffee as she turned to look at the man who was standing next to her. She took in his strong jaw and golden skin, and she wet her lips absentmindedly, “yeah, sorry, I uh… fuck, I’m a little jittery today.”

     He hummed, eyes scanning her too, then he reached out and opened the door to the parlour for her. Lily offered a small smile and walked in, the gorgeous man following her inside.

     “Hey Cal.” the guy at the main desk said, looking up.

     The guy from behind Lily grunted in response, and Lily furrowed her eyebrows, Cal as in-

     “Hey!” the happy blonde grinned, drawing her thoughts away.

     “Hi.” Lily forced a smile, taking a deep breath, “I’m Lily-”

     “Right! The apprentice! You’re early!” the blonde said, “I’m Ashton!” he held out a hand and Lily haphazardly set the coffees down, wiping her hand on her pants to rid of the condensation that had marred her skin from the frappuccino.

     She shook Ashton’s hand, making an awkward face, “sorry, my skin is cold.”

     “No worries, you brought someone a coffee?” he asked.

     “Uh… I figured i should bring something so I bought a frappuccino-”

     “You mean the black coffee is for you?” the guy laughed.

     “Yeah-”

      “Offer Calum the black coffee, trust me.”

     Before Lily could respond a new guy came into the parlour from the back room and he walked over with a grin, “who’s this?” he asked.

     “Calum’s new apprentice.”

     “Lily.” she extended the hand to the pink haired guy.

     “No shit?!” the pink haired man grinned, “fuck, your art is amazing! I’m Michael!”

     He shook her hand aggressively but the light in his eyes told Lily that he was just excited, genuinely excited, to meet her.

     “I saw your florals? Damn, if you ever want a canvas, I have a whole leg that’s free and you can just fuck it up-”

     “Michael you’re scaring her.” Ashton tutted, nudging his friend.

     Michael looked between Ashton and Lily, “no I’m not! I’m not scaring you am I?”

     “You scare everyone.” the gorgeous guy from before had returned, and he leaned his hip against the counter. His leather jacket was gone, revealing a black v neck that was pulled tight against his strong chest. His arms were crossed, biceps bulging, arms littered in tattoos exposed and proud on his beautiful skin.

     “This is Lily, she’s your new apprentice.” Ashton stated.

     Lily’s eyes met Calum and she nearly swore in front of him… again. She’d just said fuck to him outside. To her new boss. She’d said fuck.

     Fuck.

     Calum looked her up and down again, taking in the oversized denim that nearly hid her tiny frame. Her jeans were black and ripped at the knees and her blonde hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, one haphazard strand in front of her face. She had high cheekbones and soft looking lips, eyes that were a molten chocolate brown peered up at him and freckles splattered her cute button nose.

     “So you’re the floral girl.” he said before he could help himself.

     She opened her mouth then shut it, grabbing the black coffee from the counter she held it out for him, “i got this for you.”

     Calum looked at it for a moment then accepted it, turning it over in his hands to look at what was written on the side.

     “Who’s Greg?” he asked.

     “What?”

     He showed her the cup. Written on the side was a phone number,  a heart, and the name Greg. “fuck.” Lily breathed, her eyes widened, “shit, I mean- fuck, not fuck, shit.”

     She hid her face with her hands and all three men grinned at her.

     “We don’t fucking care if you swear sweetheart, just as long as you keep it to a minimum in front of clients.” Michael assured her.

     “So who is Greg.” Ashton asked.

     “He’s the barista I guess. I don’t know, he was flirting with me but I didn’t check the cup.” Lily groaned loudly.

     “So… do you want the number?” Calum asked, offering the cup back to her.

     Lily grabbed the frappuccino, stepping back as she took a sip, shaking her head, “no fucking thank you.”

     Calum tried to stop himself from grinning.

     He liked her already.

-------

     Calum had to admit, Lily learned fast.

     He found that he only had to show her something once, and just like that, she knew what she was doing. The first week had been kind of rocky. Calum was a quiet guy by nature, and he could tell that it was making Lily anxious, although she never said anything.

     The first day in particular had been interesting.

     Every time she took a sip of her frappuccino, she’d make a face and Calum had found it amusing, until he found out from Ashton after she left that the black coffee that she’d given him had initially been for herself. The poor girl had been so worried about making a good impression that she’d forced down one of those too-sweet coffee monstrosities that Calum, an avid coffee drinker, would not have been caught dead drinking.

     Lily got flustered pretty easily which was endearing to him given the whole edgy look she was rocking like it was nobody's business.

     Wearing almost strictly black clothing that set off the gold of her hair, Calum may have described Lily as goth, but due to her lack of make up, maybe that was the wrong word. She was tiny, Calum always had to look down to meet her eyes, and she tried to hide behind oversized sweatshirts and jackets. She’d roll up the sleeves into large  bunches at her elbows while drawing, and she never seemed to be able to sit like a normal human being.

     Even on a stool, she’d find a way to tuck one leg underneath her, or use something nearby to rest a foot on.

     Calum had always been the type of guy to be quiet and watch, noticing the small things other people wouldn’t notice. Like the way Lily would focus entirely on a drawing, hands almost as steady as Calum’s, but the moment she was done, her long sleeves would be rolled down again and she’d begin to fidget.

     Lily was quiet too. Something Calum appreciated.

     She didn’t ask many questions which Calum enjoyed, but it did concern him a little. As her teacher, he wanted to make sure that he was actually teaching.

     He found himself asking “did that make sense?” or “do you understand?” more than he ever had in his life, always earning a small “yeah” or curt nod.

     He’d also noticed the small dimple, just one, on her left cheek, that would appear rarely but it always made him want to smile back whenever it did.

     Michael spent most of his free time talking to Lily, which Calum enjoyed, he was never one for small talk. Through Michael’s chats with Lily, Calum had learned that Lily had actually gone to art school. She’d been doodling all her life. She adored flowers, only partially because of her name (she wasn’t that pretentious.) But, the discussions were usually limited to art and tattoo related things, which Calum was beginning to find quite dry.

     He wanted to ask questions, but Calum wasn’t the type to pry. He was never appreciative of people asking him unwanted questions and Calum didn’t fancy himself to be a hypocrite.

    Besides, Calum was, in a way (in a lot of ways) her boss. And Calum was never the type to toe the line of professionalism. Which is why, when Michael suggested that Lily grab a drink with them after work, Calum thanked god for his best friend. 

     Lily had agreed and Calum was sure that it was for Michael’s sake, definitely not his own. After all, Calum hadn’t spoken two words together to the girl that weren’t work related.

     Besides, one of Calum’s artists had been traveling for a month and was finally coming home, so it would be a good chance for Lily to meet the guy outside of the parlour.

     Michael spent the entire day ranting about Luke and hyping him up to the point that if he wasn’t a six foot four, curly blonde, rockstar looking, douche bag, then Lily would have been very let down.

     After closing up the parlour, the three walked down the street to the bar. Calum opened the door for them and as they went inside, all of Lily’s expectations were met.

     Luke had already grabbed them a booth, and as they walked in, he leapt to his feet, coming over with open arms. He immediately engulfed Michael in a hug before turning to Lily, “you must be Cal’s new whipping girl!” he grinned, wrapping his arms around her next.

     Lily was small next to Michael and Cal but with Luke? She was absolutely miniscule. So Luke had no issue simply picking her up off the ground in a hug.

     A small squeal left Lily’s lips and everyone laughed.

     “Fuck. You’re not a hugger are you?” Luke asked, setting her back down. His hands went to her shoulders, bending down to meet her eyes as he looked at her with concern.

     “Uh… that was a hug?” she asked, laughing awkwardly.

     Michael laughed, “don’t mind Luke, he’s just a big teddy bear.”

     “Fuck off.” Luke said, shoving at Michael who grinned, throwing his arm over Luke’s shoulders as the two walked back to the table.

     “Wow, fuck Calum then.” Lily said, voice quiet.

     But Calum heard. And Calum laughed, “Luke can be a bit forgetful.”

     “I uh-” Lily flushed red and hid her face with her oversized sleeves, “I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

     “It’s alright.” Calum assured her.

     “I just… he didn’t even look at you.” Lily stammered, “god, I would be so worried if one of my friends snubbed me like that-”

     “He didn’t snub me.” Calum said a tad too sternly, and it made Lily shut her worried, anxious, stammering mouth. She looked at him with wide eyes and Calum sighed, seeing the hurt in the chocolate brown irises. “Sorry I snapped at you I-”

     “No it’s fine.” her eyes had widened and her hands were up and waving, sort of distracting Calum actually, as she ranted about how she always swore too much and needed to learn not to always say what was on her mind, even if she whispered it and didn’t expect anyone to hear, not that Calum was being nosey, he was standing there anyways so he was definitely not being nosey-

     “Do you drink?” Calum asked, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably as he looked down at Lily.

     “Are you offering to buy me a drink?” Lily asked.

     Calum stared at her for a moment and that's all it took for Lily to freak out again, getting even redder as she hid her face, “holy fuck! Shit! You see? I have a problem. That was way too flirty. You’re my boss! Wow. I am way too anxious to function, this is such a mess-”

     “I’m going to get you a drink.” Calum stated before she could continue, moving past her to the bar and leaving her standing there wanting to die.

     “What’s the deal with that?” Luke asked, tilting his chin towards where Lily and Calum had just been standing.

     “So the new girl Lily is an anxious little muffin nugget and Cal is…”

     “Cal.” Luke finished for him, making them both laugh, “she’s cute.”

     “Yeah, and just wait till you see her fucking art!” Michael grinned, “she’s talented, just Calum’s type.”

     Lily had managed to contain herself again, walking over to the table where Michael made room for her, “who’s Calum’s type?” she asked.

     ���No one-” Michael began to say as Luke stated “you.”

     Lily’s breath caught in her throat as she looked between the two men sitting in the booth. Michael was gaping at Luke but Luke was grinning, attention deliberately entirely focused on Lily.

     “That is very inappropriate Luke.” Michael tutted.

     “Why?”

     “He’s her boss-”

     “Not really.” Luke said.

     “Sort of though.” Michael argued.

     “Eh, is he really though?” Luke narrowed his eyes at Michael.

     Before Michael could answer Calum came back, a Guinness in each hand. He set one down in front of Lily, “hope you like-”

     “Guinness!? My favourite!” Lily smiled.

     “Yeah, figured you like black coffee-”

     “You like black coffee?” Luke made a face at Lily, “wow, you and Cal really are meant to be.”

     “Luke!” Michael screamed.

     “What?!” Luke threw his hands on the air.

     “You left for a month and you have no filter!” Michael shouted.

     “I never had a filter!” Luke pointed out.

     Michael groaned, “fuck, it’s true, you got me there. Damn it.” he turned to look at Lily, “I’m so sorry, Luke’s not used to being around girls.”

     “Yes I am!” Luke insisted, “all the girls love me-”

     “Oh yeah? Then why the fuck are you still single?” Michael asked.

     Lily and Calum both grabbed their drinks in unison, watching Luke and Michael fight.

     “I’m single because a man like me shouldn’t be tied down!” Luke stated.

     “Pfff, sure it has nothing to do with the whole ‘oh I don’t believe in love’ thing?” Michael asked.

     “If you want to talk not believing in love, go fight Calum!” Luke said, motioning towards the silently sitting artist, “he’s the douchebag who thinks that shit doesn’t exist, not me!”

     All eyes went to Calum.

     He set down his Guinness, tattooed, ring clad fingers sliding along the condensation covered glass, a moment passed, “so is someone going to ask me something or are you all just going to stare at me?”

     “You don’t believe in love?” Lily asked.

     “Well when you put it like that-” Calum sighed.

    “How else would you put it Cal?” Luke smirked.

     He thought about it for a moment then grinned, bringing his drink to his lips, “touche.”

     “How about you flower baby, what’s your vibe on that crazy little thing called love?” Luke asked.

     “‘Flower baby’ I like it!” Michael grinned, turning his gaze to the only girl there.

     “Well that’s a loaded question.” Lily said, shrinking under their gaze.

     “You’re single right?” Michael asked.

     “Michael.” Calum warned.

     “What? I can ask her that sort of thing, I’m not her boss, plus we were all thinking it.” Michael said.

     “Michael, this is bordering sexual harassment.” Calum stated, “Lily if you’re uncomfortable-”

     “I’m always uncomfortable.” she interjected.

     “You don’t have to answer their questions.” he told her.

     Lily took a deep breath, “no, I should try to not be so shy all the time.”

     “Good for you, cheers to that.” Luke said, lifting the bottle of beer he’d had since before they’d arrived, “so tell us all your secrets.”

     “My money’s on single.” Michael stated.

     “Why?” Lily laughed.

     “Cuz if you had a boyfriend there’s no way in hell he wouldn’t have already come to the shop to check us out and make sure none of us are threats.” Michael answered.

     “And then, he’d show up and fight Calum-” Luke continued.

     “Can you both leave me out of this?” Calum interjected.

     “But Cal-”

     “Maybe just stop saying my name how about that?” Calum sighed.

     Luke groaned loudly, “you’re lame.”

     “So you two are friends right?” Lily asked.

     “Yeah, why do you ask?” Luke said, taking a sip of his beer.

     Lily grinned and Michael laughed, “they have a very complicated relationship.” he assured her.

     “Your mom and I have a complicated relationship.” Luke quipped.

     “How long have you been here buddy?” Michael asked.

     “A while.”

     “How much have you had to drink?”

     “A lot.”

     Michael groaned, “man, I haven’t even had a beer yet and I’m already going to have to take you home aren’t I?”

     “I’m fine.” Luke laughed.

     “That’s your awkward ‘I’m totally not fine’ laugh.” Michael sighed, “okay man, lets go.”

     “But we can’t leave Cal and the flower child.” Luke groaned.

     “I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Michael said, pulling Luke to his feet.

     “But I like flower girl.” Luke whined.

     “And you’ll see her at work on Monday when you’re sober.” Michael pointed out.

     “Promise?” Luke asked.

     “Promise.” Michael said, Luke finally allowing himself to be dragged closer to the door, he turned back and looked at Calum and Lily who were both watching him, “tell them to use protection Michael, we don’t need a tattoo parlour baby.”

     “I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

     Luke was not satisfied with this answer, turning to look at Cal and Lily he screamed “use protection!” and half the bar turned to look at the two still sitting in the booth.

     Lily flushed immediately and Calum sighed, “we can just finish our drinks and go.” he suggested.

     Lily took a sip of her Guinness, “eager to get rid of me?” she asked.

     Calum’s grip tightened on his glass, “look, this was probably a mistake, I’m your teacher and this feels inappropriate, especially with how Michael and Luke have been acting-”

     “Have you taken your other apprentices out for drinks before?”

     “Yeah-”

     “So it’s because I’m a girl.” Lily stated.

     Calum groaned. He was not a sexist guy. He wasn’t. Which is why he even did applications blind, so that he wouldn’t treat people differently. And now here he was, treating his apprentice differently because she was a woman. A cute woman. Fuck.

     “Shit.” Calum said, “I feel like such a jackass.”

     “Is it…” Lily sighed.

     “Is it what?”

     Lily covered her face in her hands, “fuck, now I’m making this awkward.” she peeked at Calum, “I’m going to just say it and we can pretend it never happened, we should pretend this whole night didn’t happen to be honest, like, I don’t know what the fuck has come over me today but… Luke and Michael are throwing me off big time, and, shit, is it… is it because I’m your type? Is that why you’re being so weird? Like, Michael said you’re a quiet guy but this feels more personal you know?”

     “I’m just… i haven't had a female apprentice before and I guess I’m not used to it.” Calum studied her and then realized that he’d pretty much just stated that she wasn’t his type, which was a lie, and if there was one thing Calum Hood wasn’t, it was a liar, “not that you’re not my type, you are, I mean, shit, I’m your boss, sort of, and being professional is kinda my thing-”

     “You’re very professional.” Lily assured him.

     “I just bought you a beer, probably shouldn’t have done that-”

     “I won’t tell the head of the tattooist apprenticeship board or whatever if you don’t.” Lily sighed, “Look. don’t treat me differently. I don’t want this to be so awkward, i want to be friends, after all, when this is all over i will legitimately be putting a tattoo of my choosing on your body so we should be friends don’t you think?”

     “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable-” Calum winced.

     “If you do, I’ll tell you, how about that?” she asked.

     He considered it, “deal.”

     They finished their Guinnesses quickly, standing and walking to the entryway to the bar, “well, how far from here do you live?” Calum asked.

     “A little ways away, why?”

     “I mean, should I offer to walk you home?” Calum tested.

     “Would you offer that to your other apprentices?”

     “Probably not.”

     “Then no.”

     “Okay well uh… get home safe then yeah?”

     “Will do. I’m a big girl.” Lily grimaced immediately, “wow that sounded so weird. I’ll uh… I’ll see you at work on Monday.”

     “Yeah.”

     Calum almost went in for a hug. His brain was so frazzled. Whenever he took a girl out to a bar they were usually on a date and normally, if he wasn’t interested in taking them home, he’d give them a hug just to say ‘goodbye, never gonna call you again.’

     Lily also awkwardly looked like she was about to go in for a hug and they both kind of stumbled awkwardly until Lily thrust out her hand and Calum laughed, shaking it, “uh, have a good night.”

     “You too.”

     As they both turned and went opposite ways down the street they were both cringing. It was very obvious to them that she was his apprentice and they were two weeks into an apprenticeship that could take more than two years.

     They were fucked.

-------

     On Monday, Lily and Calum showed up to work fully intending to stay true to their agreement to forget the awkwardness of Friday ever happened, and have Calum treat her like every other apprentice he’d had.

     After a bit of small talk with Luke, Michael and Ashton, Calum’s first client arrived and he called Lily over to watch. Calum was very focused when he tattooed, staying completely silent as he worked, which left it up to Lily to make conversation with the clients.

     Calum enjoyed listening to Lily chat with clients. She was always so anxious around him, but she relaxed a little bit more around other people. She almost seemed easy going, and if Cal didn’t know her, he would have even gone as far to describe her as an extrovert.

     She’d make a great tattoo artist. Always calming down and distracting clients.

     Calum almost began getting critical of himself because damn, did he not talk enough with clients? No one had ever complained before so Calum pushed the thought aside. 

     Calum realized that if he simply didn’t look at Lily, he could teach her better, not get distracted by her pretty freckles or her gorgeous brown eyes-

     It worked for a week.

     But because it worked, Lily got more comfortable.

     It had been a full month when Lily finally got so comfortable that she took off her oversized, black denim jacket for the first time.

     It was getting hotter outside, summer quickly approaching, and Lily was wearing a black tank top that exposed her arms and shoulders. As she slipped the the denim off and put it on a chair, Calum’s breath caught in his throat. Delicate tattoos littered the skin from elbow to shoulder, two beautiful half sleeves that he had no idea she’d had.

     In classic Lily fashion, the tattoos were all black.

     As Calum studied them he realized, “wait, did you… did you tattoo some of these onto yourself?” the art was undeniably Lily.

     Lily’s skin flushed, “yeah, iI uh… I bought a tattoo gun a while ago and figured I’d test it on myself.”

     “So that’s why your lines are so good already, you’ve literally been practicing on yourself.” Calum would have laughed if it wasn’t so hard core.

     “Yeah.” Lily laughed, “I mean, I think they turned out alright.” she looked down at the flowers on her left arm, “the ones on this side are better because I’m right handed, I practiced with my left for ages with paper but it just wasn’t the same so only this peony is mine,” she motioned to a small, delicate flower on her right arm, “everything else was done by other artists I’ve been into for a while.”

     Calum recognized the artwork on her right arm, “that was done by Cole.” Cole had been his second apprentice.

     “Yeah, he managed to convince me to get a full half sleeve from him so this is all his.”

     “Sounds like Cole.” Calum grinned, pulling up the sleeve of his shirt to the shoulder to show her the dragon, “he gave me this one, originally he wanted to take up my whole back but I had to draw the line with that one.”

     “Yeah, he wanted my whole arm but I told him just above the elbow.”

     “Would you ever get your forearms done?”

     “Hmm, probably not, but I have an idea for my thigh-” before she could go into more details, Calum’s client arrived and the conversation was cut short.

     That day was particularly difficult. Calum just wanted to gawk at her tattoos. She had been a ten before but now? Wow. Calum had a thing for tattoos and the whole thing about Lily tattooing herself was… well, Calum’s pants were getting a bit tight just thinking about it.

     It was around one o'clock when Ashton got a cancelation call from one of Calum’s clients. Calum didn’t mind, there was a deposit for half the cost anyways and it meant he had an hour of free time. Calum sent Ashton for lunch which meant he and Lily were manning the reception desk.

     Lily was drawing flowers while Calum watched. He didn’t have any floral tattoos and he had been curious from day one what they would look like on his skin. “Do you want to try drawing that on me?” he suggested.

     “Uh… are you sure?” Lily asked.

     “Yeah, you need practice drawing on people, last time you did, the woman said your hands were cold after.” Calum pointed out.

     “Shit.” Lily immediately put down her pencil and began rubbing her palms together to warm them up.

     “Here.” Calum handed her a black sharpie.

     “Do you want a floral tattoo?”

     “I’ve never wanted one before but... I dunno, your flowers are really nice.”

     “Thanks.” Lily flushed, “so your forearm?”

     Calum arms were pretty tatted as it was but his left was more covered than his right so he offered up the arm, gesturing to medium sized unmarked patch, “yeah, probably here.”

     “Any flowers in specific?” she asked.

     “What’s your specialty?”

     Lily chuckled, looking up at him for a moment as she twirled the sharpie between her fingers, “a lily. But I do a great chrysanthemum or peony.”

     “I only know what lilies look like so surprise me with one of the other ones.” Calum said. He liked surprises.

     “Well I showed you my peony so-”

     “So the other one.”

     “A chrysanthemum.”

     “Yeah. That.”

     Lily took Calum’s offered arm, putting it on the table as she took the top off of the sharpie. “Free handing is okay?” she clarified.

     “Go for it.” Calum said, watching as she too the first swipe of black ink over his arm.

     “So you mentioned earlier you had an idea for your thigh?”

     “Yeah, I was thinking of getting a few big chrysanthemums actually, but I haven’t found anyone who can draw them right.” Lily explained.

     “Why don’t you just do it yourself.” Calum teased.

     “Cuz it would hurt like a bitch.” Lily answered, “oh, you were joking.”

     “A little.”

     He watched her drawing the petals, “you know, not to rain on your parade or anything but I feel like I could probably draw a… whatever flower that is.”

     “Chrysanthemum.”

    “You know maybe if you wrote that down I’d be able to pronounce it.”

     Lily grinned. She made it look so easy and Calum studied how she drew each delicate petal. Calum Hood didn’t do flowers, but there was something endearing about how delicate and deliberate each petal was.

     After a few minutes she finished, “there. What do you think?”

     It did look really good. And again, Calum Hood did not do floral. “yeah.”

     He pulled out his art pad and began to try to copy her work and Lily watched, “more curve here and here.” she said, correcting his lines.

     Calum grinned, “so the student becomes the teacher.”

      Lily flushed, “well, I mean, it’s always been a dream to have you tattoo me, which sounds way awkward saying that out loud but you don’t do floral.”

     “I’m doing floral now.” Calum pointed out.

     “Still not curved enough.” Lily corrected another petal.

     Calum groaned, pulling out another piece of paper to draw a new flower. As he drew, Lily only corrected it twice, and on the third drawing, not at all. Calum held up the paper smugly.

     “It looks great.” Lily said.

     “So you’ll let me tattoo it on you.”

     “Uh…” Lily laughed awkwardly, “I mean, you drew one but I’m going for something a little bigger-”

      No one had ever turned down a tattoo from Calum Hood, it was a challenge and Calum liked challenges, “how about this, by the end of the week if I can free hand a bunch of these flowers-”

     “Chrysanthemums.”

     “If I can freehand a bunch of these cruh-san-the-memes-”

     “Nice try.”

     Calum groaned loudly, “if I can draw them and you like them you’ll let me tat you.”

     “Aren’t I supposed to be the one tatting you when this is all over?” Lily asked.

     “Are you seriously going to turn down a tattoo from me?” Calum laughed.

     Lily considered it, “fine, but I’m not going to say yes just because you’re you.”

     “Fine.”

--------

     In secret, Calum spent an embarrassingly copious amount of time looking at pictures of chrysanthemums online. He’d even trained on how to say ‘chrysanthemum.’ He’d drawn so many god damned flowers over the week that it almost annoyed him that he actually enjoyed drawing them.

     On Friday morning, Calum showed up to work with with his top three ideas. He was anxious his entire first client, wanting time to show Lily his work and see if she liked them. As soon as the man had paid and left, Calum took out the art to show Lily.

     “Okay, what do you think?” he asked.

     He was never worried about what people thought of his work.

     People always adored his designs. Hell, people flew in from all over the world to let him free hand an original design on their body to be permanently inked forever.

     Lily scanned the flowers, “wow, these look super real, did you look them up?”

     “No.” Calum said immediately.

     Lily smiled and Calum knew that she knew he was lying.

     She looked at one of the sketches, “this one is so pretty.”

     It was one of the bigger ones but Calum supposed that's what she’d asked for, “so… you’ll let me tattoo you?”

     Having Calum tattoo her had been a dream for years so of course Lily knew she was about to say yes. Especially since she had wanted something outside of his comfort zone and it was obvious that he’d put a lot of effort into making something she’d like. It was making Lily’s heart beat faster and she nodded, “you can tattoo me.”

     Calum’s eyes lit up, “great, after work?”

     “After work?”

     “Yeah.”

     “That’s kind of sudden isn’t it?”

     “Well, I mean, if you want another time-”

     “No, after work… works.” Lily said, giggling awkwardly, “I don’t have cash on me-”

     Calum’s eyebrows furrowed, “I’m not charging you.”

     “You have to charge me.”

     “No I don’t.” Calum insisted.

     “Cal, I know how much people pay for your tattoos.” Lily sighed.

     “It’s on the house.”

     Before Lily could argue further, Calum’s next client showed up.

     The next six hours were busy, with Lily and Cal speaking barely two words to each other. Lily’s adrenaline was pumping. She always got excited before a tattoo and this was exciting. More exciting than she wanted to admit.

     As the clock ticked down to closing, Lily got more and more fidgety.

     It was just her and Cal left in the shop, not that she spent much time with the other artists since she stayed glued to Calum’s side, watching him work, all day every day.

     After collecting payment from the last client, Cal turned off the open sign, walking back to Lily, “you still want the tat?”

     “Yeah.”

     “Okay, you get ready and I’ll grab the shit.” Calum walked to his work space in the back corner of the shop.

     Lily followed, taking a deep breath before she began to unbutton her pants.

     “You still sure on the-” Calum turned and his voice trailed off, “placement?” his eyes went to where Lily was unzipping her jeans and pushing them down. Lily felt awkward but when did she not? Plus, Calum had tattooed many people in his life so this wouldn’t be much different.

     Calum’s breath was caught in his throat as his eyes traced over the black lacy panties she was wearing.

     “So I’m thinking here.” Lily said, motioning to her upper thigh, “I want it to curve in just a little inner.”

     “Right.” Cal coughed, “let me draw it on and if you don’t like it we can move it-”

     “Calum, I know the drill.”

     “Right.” Calum grabbed his sharpie as Lily kicked off her shoes and pants, taking off her jacket and rolling up her shirt a little. Calum returned and got onto his knees, looking up at Lily one last time, “ready?”

     “You’re just drawing it, this isn’t even the hard part.”

     Calum nodded, “so under the underwear line or-”

     Lily flushed, pulling up her panties a little, “just under the hip bone.”

     The sharpie pressed against her skin and Lily tried to look anywhere but at the gorgeous tattooed man on his knees between her bare legs.

     Calum was right handed and working on her left leg, so to steady her, he had to place his other hand on the inside of her leg, delicately moving the skin a little when necessary. His fingers on her bare flesh was making Lily dizzy.

     Calum traced the lines across her thigh, trying to focus all his attention on working and not on how pretty her skin was. And how close he was to-

     “So you must see women half naked all the time right?” Lily asked.

     “Yeah.” Calum said.

     “What’s the nudest you’ve ever done?”

     “This one girl wanted something on her pubic bone which I told her was a bad idea but she really wanted it, we were in a back room for privacy and when I came in she was completely naked-”

     “Then what happened?”

     “Well, I gave her something to cover herself up and she was super awkward the whole time.”

     “I can imagine.” Lily laughed.

     She could feel his breath on her inner thigh and Lily’s skin involuntarily broke out in goosebumps, “you cold?” Calum asked.

     “Yeah but it’s fine.” Lily lied.

     Calum hummed and continued working until the drawing was done, “okay, go look in the mirror.” he said, standing up and following Lily to see if she liked it.

     Her eyes scanned over it and Calum waited patiently, arms crossed over his chest.

     “It’s beautiful.” Lily breathed.

     “Chrysanthemums are beautiful.”

     “How long did it take for you to figure out how to say chrysanthemums?”

     “Too long.” Calum admitted.

     “Okay, lets do it. You’ll get the basic lines done today and then shading after work on Monday or something?”

     “Do you want to split it up into two parts?” Calum asked.

     “Don’t you think this will take a while if you try to do it all today?”

     “Yeah.”

     “I figured you might have plans tonight-”

      “Why?”

     “Well, its a Friday night.” Lily pointed out.

     “So?”

     “So maybe you have a date? I don’t know-”

     “Do you have a date?”

     “No-”

     “Great, so let’s do this all tonight.” Calum stated, “we can order take out half way through or some shit, or after, it's up to you.”

     “Take out after sounds good, there’s this place down the street with amazing-”

     “Shawarma, fuck, love that place.”

      “Me too.” Lily grinned, “okay, I’ll sit down then.”

     She got onto the chair and set herself up so Calum could access her inner thigh while Calum pulled on some gloves, sat on his stool, and picked up the tattoo gun.

     Lily looked at the ceiling as the sound of buzzing began.

     The first feeling of the needle piercing her skin made her sigh and Calum smirked, “you good?”

     “I uh… kind of like the pain, that sounds wild, shit, I didn’t mean it in like a sexual way or anything-” Lily began to stammer.

     “No, I like it too.” Calum said, cutting her off.

     Lily wanted to distract herself from the flush that she knew was creeping over her skin, and It was going to take a while so she pulled out her phone, “can we listen to music?”

     “Go for it.” Calum said, focusing on his lines. He didn’t talk during tats anyways so music always helped.

     Some old rock music began to play from Lily’s phone and Calum smirked, “nirvana.��

     “You like Nirvana?” Lily asked.

     “All the old stuff is great.” Calum said.

     “Nine inch nails is pretty good, Nirvana, Guns and roses-”

     “Where have you been all my life.” Calum teased.

     Lily smiled, a tingly feeling in her stomach almost distracting from the needle.

     A particularly sensitive spot made Lily grab at the side of the chair and Calum noticed. His jaw clenched. Pain was part of tattooing and he never felt bad about it but there was something about Lily being in pain and him being the direct cause, even though it was his job, that was hurting him.

     “Deep breaths sweetheart.” Calum said before he could help himself, the term of endearment slipping out before he could stop it.

     Lily sighed, “can you distract me?”

     “The music isn’t distracting enough?” he asked.

     “Not really.” Lily winced, “shit, why did I think the inner thigh was a good idea? I knew it would hurt like a bitch-”

     “It will look great.” Calum assured her.

     “It will.” Lily agreed.

     She could feel his breath again and she tried to focus on that but as she felt the butterflies in her stomach, she realized maybe that was not the best idea. Having him so close to her, just inches away from where she was positive he could just bury his mouth and send her over the edge in seconds-

     “What the fuck?!”

     Calum pulled the tattoo gun away, looking at Michael who had just entered the shop, “Michael! Jesus fuck man you can’t just be surprising people who are in the middle of giving tattoos!”

     “Shit, sorry,” Michael apologize, “it just… it looked like you two were… well, Calum it looked like you were-”

     “Michael. Don’t say it.” Calum warned.

     They all knew what he was implying.

     “I’m going to continue alright?” Calum asked, drawing Lily’s eyes to his. She nodded.

     He started up the gun again and pressed it to her skin, again Lily winced and Michael walked over. “That looks sick already.” he stated.

     “Hold her hand.” Calum instructed.

     “What?”

     “Hold her fucking hand.” Calum said again.

     Michael reached out and took Lily’s hand which she immediately squeezed. “So Cal, flowers, since when did you start doing flowers?”

     “It’s what she wanted.” Calum answered.

     “I just didn’t know you were a fan of flowers.”

     “Chrysanthemums are dope Mike.” Calum said.

     “You’re wild.” Michael laughed.

     Michael pulled up a chair and sat with the two of them for the next three hours, successfully distracting Lily while Calum worked quietly. It was nice to listen to Michael talk because Calum could feel himself straining against his pants and he needed a turn off, like Michael’s voice.

     Calum was finishing up when Michael had to go, once again leaving Lily and Calum alone.

     “So do you have a skirt or something?” Calum asked.

     “No?”

     “Oh.”

     “Girls don’t just carry around skirts.”

     “Right.”

     “I mean, you’re going to be really sensitive and your jeans might hurt-”

     “Fuck. How come I didn’t think of that? I’m such a shit tattooist.” Lily groaned.

     Calum wiped her skin to get the remaining ink away, cleaning the area, “let me put the bandage on then I might have a shirt in the back you can wear as a dress because you’re small.”

     Lily stayed quiet as Calum smoothed the see through bandage over her skin. He stood up and went to the back, returning a minute later with a shirt that he handed to Lily, “here.”

     She looked at it, “Zeppelin, you have good taste.”

     Lily stood up on wonky legs, grabbing the hem of her shirt as she lifted it over her head. Calum looked away but the brief glimpse of a matching black lace bra made his breath catch again.

     “Okay, I’m decent.” Lily said in a quiet voice.

     Calum looked at the way the shirt hung like a dress down to her mid thigh. She looked adorable slipping on her adidas. She could make any outfit work.

     “Still hungry?” she asked.

     “Yeah.”

     “You’re sure I can’t force you to take money for this?” Lily sighed.

     “No way. How do you feel?”

     “It hurts a little but you were right about not having the added pressure of jeans.” Lily said, “so… let me grab my stuff then we can get food.”

     Calum cleaned up the station while Lily put all her clothes into her bag, taking one look at the tattoo in the mirror and admiring his handy work. She couldn’t wait till she could take off the bandage and see it clearly but she knew it was beautiful.

     Calum met her at the front of the shop and locked up. The night was warm, the first breath of summer having swept over the city that day, lingering in the air.

     They walked in silence down the street to the shawarma place.

     They both ordered the same thing, once again proving how much they had in common. When Calum pulled out his wallet, Lily thrust a twenty at the man at the till, “I’m paying for all of it.” she stated.

     “Don’t take her money-” Calum warned the guy.

     But Lily glared him down, “sorry man.” the vender said, taking the twenty.

     Calum sighed and the two of them waited for their wraps to be made. When handed the warm food, Lily stated: “there’s a park close by and we could sit on a bench and eat or something.”

     “Good idea.” Calum said.

     They began to eat their wraps as they walked, staying mostly quiet but Lily was oddly okay with that. She usually got fidgety with silence and at first, that had applied to Calum, but sometime in the past little while, the awkwardness that usually came with lack of conversation had disappeared.

     They sat on the park bench and ate, chatting a little. Easy conversation about apprenticeships. Calum was confident that Lily wouldn’t need as long as the others had which made Lily’s heart race. “You’re really talented.” he assured her, “wouldn’t surprise me if you’d be good to go in under a year actually.”

     “I didn’t realize you could just choose how long the apprenticeship is.”

      “Well, I mean, usually there are rules, but I think at the end of the day it’s based on my decision. And I could offer you a job at the parlour so that way, its sort of still like an apprenticeship.”

     “You’d hire me? Just like that?” Lily asked.

     “You’re really good Lily.” he stated, “I knew it the second I saw your application. And so did Michael.”

     They chatted about how he got into tattooing.

     They chatted until it began to get cold and Lily began to shiver. She pulled out her large denim jacket and seeing her in two things that were way too large was almost too much for Calum in some odd way.

     He tried not to look at her but it was very difficult.

     Especially her legs. God, he adored her legs already.

     “So I should get going.” Lily said when it got to be around ten.

     “Yeah me too.” Calum said as they both stood.

     Again, there was an awkward moment of whether or not they should hug.

     Calum’s self control disappeared as he wrapped his arms around the smaller artist, pulling her against his chest. She hugged back, cheek pressed against his front for a moment before they both pulled away, “get home safe.” he said, voice low and crackly as he cleared his throat.

     “I will.”

     They turned and went their separate ways with smiles on their faces.

----

     On Monday, Lily walked into the shop with a short little leather skirt that, once again, had Calum’s pants getting insanely tight. She breezed in with a smile and a wave to Ashton and Michael who were gawking at her from the reception desk, walking straight to Calum. “So I took the bandage off!” she grinned.

     “Let’s see.” Calum said, scooting forward on his stool with a smile. And then, Lily simply lifted up her skirt, completely flashing him a new, adorable, red and black lace thong that took Calum’s attention a moment too long before he had to force his eyes to the tattoo.

     “How’s your aftercare?” he asked.

     Lily rolled her eyes, “my aftercare is on point Hood.”

     He chuckled, “stop flashing me.”

     “Fuck, right.” Lily pulled down her skirt, red spreading over her delicate collar bones.

     The first few hours were insanely difficult for Calum. It was like every spare moment, his brain would think about those god damned lacy panties.

     Instead of taking a lunch break, Lily went up front with Ashton. Calum’s gaze was on her, watching them chat.  He didn’t even notice Luke pull his chair over to be next to Calum as Calum waited for his next client.

     “So you shouldn’t be looking because in a way, you’re her boss but I can look for you.” Luke stated.

     Calum rolled his eyes but tore his gaze away, knowing Luke was right about some things and unfortunately this was one of them.

     He had to be professional.

     He had to be.

     Another week passed and Calum managed to keep his eyes away from the gorgeous blonde and her little skirts. He was almost too good at keeping it professional and his friends noticed.

     Luke, Ashton and Michael were at a bar after work when Michael brought it up, “so we need to do something about Lily and Cal.”

     “What do you mean?” Luke asked.

     “They need to fuck.” Michael stated, “like, I can’t focus with all the sexual tension.”

     “Cal won’t act on it.” Ashton said, and they all knew he was right.

     Michael groaned, “fuck, I know, we need to make him act on it.”

     “How?” Luke laughed.

     And that's how Michael's mission began.

     His plans were never good.

     He took Lily and Cal to a bar then excused himself to go to the bathroom ten minutes in.

     He never came back.

     Calum had sighed when it became obvious Michael had dipped out, coming up with the only thing he could think of to talk about, “so… netflix.”

     Turned out they were both horror movie fans and they’d sat and chatted and agreed about everything for two hours before Calum finally suggested they head out, it was obvious that the yawning girl in front of him was tired from her long day at work.

     Calum caught onto Michael’s plan pretty fast and Michael spent many hours coming up with new ways to get Lily and Cal together outside of work.

     It was another month before Michael suggested that he needed a workout buddy.

     Calum had cocked an eyebrow at him, “you want to work out?”

     “Yeah.” Michael tried to sound excited about it but it lacked conviction, “hey, Lily, do you work out?”

     “I go for a run every now and again.” she answered, focusing on her drawing.

     “A run! That sounds…” for a moment he looked like he was going to try to be enthusiastic but then he broke, “I mean it sounds like torture but I need one I think.”

     “Thats something I’d like to see.” Calum chuckled.

     “We should all go for a run.”

     “I’m in.” Lily said absentmindedly.

     Calum’s gaze flickered to her then to Michael who was waiting expectantly. He knew it was another ploy but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see Michael in workout gear. “Fine, I’ll come too.”

     “Great! Sunday morning?”

----

     Michael did not show up on Sunday morning. He sent a text saying he’d meet the pair half way through their run at the park and that they should go without him.

     It was a beautiful morning. The day promised to be hot but the morning was cool, sun shining against the morning dew on the grass.

     The two began to jog and stayed quiet as they ran.

     It wasn’t a surprise when Michael didn’t show up at the halfway mark.

     In fact, neither of them even noticed.

     As the morning began to get warmer, they were both sweating and Calum finally suggested they stop. LIly collapsed onto a park bench pulling out her water bottle as Calum took off his shirt that was practically soaked.

     He groaned at the feel of the air on his newly revealed skin and Lily nearly choked on her water at his gorgeous chest which was covered in tattoos, and perfectly muscular.

     “Your tattoos-” she began.

     Calum looked down at her, “you like them?”

     “They’re beautiful, can… can I-” she began to ask awkwardly.

     “Yeah, look as much as you want.” he stepped forward so he could be closer, giving her a better view as she began with the tattoos just under his collar bones.

     He explained each one as she went down, watching her focus completely on the black marks that littered his skin.

     By the time she got to his abdomen, Lily was surprised she wasn’t drooling. Completely bewitched by each tattoo and the story that came with it.

     There was one particular tattoo, just above the waistband of his shorts, and it was so delicately intricate and beautiful, she couldn’t even help herself as she reached out and brushed her fingers against his skin.

     His abs immediately flexed, Calum having not expected her prying digits, Lily pulled away immediately, “oh my god I’m so sorry-”

     “It’s fine.” Calum assured her, knowing another anxiety ridden stammering rant was coming on, “I just wasn’t expecting that.”

     She was already blushing like crazy and Calum was sure it wasn’t from being hot from the run, “hey, would you look at the time!” Lily said, pulling out her phone, “I have places to be.”

     “Yeah me too.” Calum lied.

     “Well! Nice run!” Lily stood abruptly. There was no awkward move for a hug, they both simply turned opposite ways and ran.

     Lily’s heart was racing in her chest. She hadn’t meant to touch him, she just hadn’t been able to help herself. God. He was so fucking hot. She couldn’t even deal with it anymore.

     She’d had recurring dreams for over a week of having Calum between her legs like when he was giving her the tattoo, but in her dreams he always had a very different reason for being there.

     Likewise, Calum had been so god damned close to letting her explore him with her hands. Her fingers had felt so good. It was insane that her touch had brought electricity coursing through his body like nothing, even the sting of a tattoo gun, had ever done before.

     As soon as Calum got home he ran a cold shower, letting the water run over his body but even the shock of the temperature couldn’t distract him. He was in deep already, and he knew it.

----

     The others all watched as Lily and Calum interacted the next day.

     “The sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.” Ashton pointed out.

     “Do you think anything happened?” Luke asked, taking a bite out of his cucumber.

     “I am one hundred percent confident my plan worked.” Michael stated.

     “You wanna put money on it?” Luke grinned.

     “Fuck yeah, twenty bucks says they fucked.” Michael scoffed.

     “Deal.” Luke pushed off of the reception table and walked towards Cal and Lily who were going over the client list for the day. “Cal, I need to ask you something.” he said.

     “Go for it.” Calum said, not even looking up.

     “Privately.”

     Calum sighed, standing and following Luke to the reception desk, “what do you want?”

     “We want to know if you finally made a move yesterday.” Luke whispered.

     “Fuck are you guys serious?!” Calum groaned, “I am not talking about this.”

     He turned and walked back to Lily.

     “You owe me twenty.” Luke stated.

     “What? No I don’t!” Michael screamed.

     “Nothing happened. He’s all wound up still. Nothing happened.”

     “He’s got you there.” Ashton pointed out.

     “Whose side are you even on you traitor?” Michael glared at Ashton while pulling out his wallet. He handed Luke a twenty.

      It had to be, by far, the hardest day for Calum (in more ways than one.)

     All he could think about was getting her fingers on his skin again.

     He managed to get through most of the day but as the others cleared out until it was just him and Lily, once again, he was in a tough situation.

     His last client listened to music with earphones the whole tattoo, leaving Calum and Lily to silence.

     He was hyper aware of her as she watched him do the more difficult shading.

     He let her wipe away the excess ink and put on the bandage, “you deal with this, I’ll be in the back, there’s a room that needs to be cleaned-”

     “The private room? Michael cleaned it after he did that girls tit tattoo.”

     “Like I said, it needs to be cleaned a little more.” Calum said.

     She watched him go into the back and took the client to the front, taking his payment. The guy left and she locked the front door, turning off the open sign before going to find Calum in the back.

     She found him in the private room, standing tall as he wiped down a table. She could only see his back but damn was it a pretty back.

     Her heart was thundering in her chest.

     She knew what she wanted.

     And the logical part of Lily told her that he wanted it too, but the anxious little nugget side wondered ‘what if he doesn’t and you’re about to straight up try to get  in your boss’s pants?’

     It was a risk.

     And Lily did not take risks.

     But shit, she couldn’t help herself anymore.

     Calum set down the cloth and turned to look at Lily, “you’re done for the day, you can go home.” he said, arms crossing over his broad chest, the tattoos covering his forearms looking absolutely delicious.

     “Can I show you my tattoo? Its healed so nicely-”

     Calum cocked an eyebrow at her, “go for it.”

     He could see the anxiety written all over her face. And she hadn’t tried to show him the tat in a while which he was almost grateful for. Almost. He wondered where this was going to take them.

     Lily hesitantly lifted up her skirt and Calum stepped closer to get a better look. Before he could help himself he was on his knees and Lily’s breath caught in her throat.

     His fingers brushed over the skin, so lightly that if it wasn’t for the shocks running through her body, she wouldn’t have even been sure if he was making contact.

     “Calum, I need to say something.” she said, shocked at her own voice.

     He hummed, waiting for her to speak.

     “This is going to be the most inappropriate thing I’ve ever said and I’ve said a lot of inappropriate things, fuck, I swear like a trucker half the time, and this is going to fuck me over so bad but I can’t just not say it anymore.” she ranted as Calum stood. At his full height, he towered over her and it distracted her momentarily, loving how he completely dwarfed her. She let out a shaky breath, eyes lingering on his lips momentarily, “fuck.” she cussed.

     Calum smirked, “say what you have to say sweetheart.”

     The pet name made her heart leap in her chest and she wet her lips subconsciously, “this is so unprofessional.” she groaned.

     “Sounds like you have to get it off your chest. And you’re off the clock.” he reminded her.

     “Fuck. I really like you.”

     That was all he needed.

     Calum cupped her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers. She melted against him, her hands going to the front of his jeans to pull him flush against her. Calum bit down on her lip and Lily moaned loudly into his mouth. Calum was hard in an instant.

     His grip went down to her waist as he pushed her back until she hit the tattooing chair, the impact of her bum against the chair made her groan and Calum’s hands moved farther down, grabbing at the fabric of her leather skirt that he dragged up to her hips, exposing the black panties that had been haunting his dreams since he’d first seen them.

     His mouth was hot and needy against hers, teeth and tongues clashing in a fiery passion as her fingers went to his hair, grabbing at the thick, dark curls. Calum moaned into her mouth from the small twinge of pain, his grip tightening on her thighs as he lifted her and set her onto the chair.

     It was flat, making it easy for him to set her anywhere he liked as he pulled his lips from hers and tore her panties down her legs, shoving them into his back pocket. “Calum.” Lily whimpered, voice needy. His breath wafted over her as he got on his knees on the ground, putting her legs over his shoulders.

     Her fingers tangled in his hair as he studied the tattoo for a moment, pressing a soft kiss to the skin that he had marred forever. It was so hot, for both of them, but Lily was anxiously awaiting his mouth as if her life depended on it.

     “Please.” she said in the neediest voice Calum had ever heard. He nearly groaned at the sound, turning his attention to where she needed him most.

     Calum closed his eyes as he took his first testing lick, wanting to enjoy every moment, every sound, every motion. Calum loved eating girls out, he never got tired of the control, the power, that being between a woman's legs brought him.

     Lily shuddered at the first contact of his tongue against her and all of Calum’s self control that he had been so desperately trying to hold onto went out the window. He put his mouth on her fully, hands gripping her thighs as he sucked her clit into his mouth. A loud moan was music to his ears as he focused on the small bundle of nerves, sucking as hard as he thought she could handle.

     “Jesus fuck.” Lily moaned, tugging at his hair.

     He loved it when she swore.

     He loved being the cause of her swearing.

     He flicked his tongue against her clit and she cried out louder, both of their grips tightening on each other.

     “Fuck Cal I’m gonna-” but she didn’t get to finish her sentence. Calum sucked harder and Lily fell over the edge, moans and whimpers ringing through the small private room as he body convulsed and Calum helped her through it. She was still shuddering when he pulled away, licking his lips as he stood.

     She looked so beautiful, skin flushed, just as he liked it.

     He gingerly pushed the denim jacket from her shoulders and it slipped to the ground, then his fingers went to the hem of her shirt, pulling that off too. Lily’s eyes were still closed, still in a post orgasm haze as he slowly undressed her, taking his time as his fingers brushed over the tattoos on her arms.

     Lily’s eyes fluttered open and Calum enjoyed the beautiful chocolate coloured eyes that looked up at him with lust. Her hands were shaky as she reached out and began to unbuckle his pants.

     Calum pressed his lips to hers, reaching around to unclasp her bra. The second the fabric felt away, the slowness was gone, once more replaced by complete passion and lust as Lily pushed Calum’s pants down fully.

     She grabbed his hard on and Calum moaned loudly into her mouth as she pumped him a few times, “condoms-” he groaned.

     “Birth control.” she stated.

     Calum moaned again, “holy fuck.”

     He took off his shirt while she continued to work his cock with her hands but as soon as the fabric was gone, he grabbed her fingers, tearing them away and instead putting them on his abdomen, on the skin she’d touched the day before.

     He pulled her closer, teasing her entrance with the head of his cock.

     “Please.” she whimpered, one of her hands going up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling his lips to hers.

     Lily bit down into Calum’s lip and he smirked at the small spasm of pain coursing through his body. He plunged inside of her and Lily moaned, immediately releasing his lip from between her teeth as she gasped into his mouth.

     His hands found her waist, anchoring them both as he began to thrust in and out. His hips were buckling of their own accord, Calum completely enraptured by the small, tattooed, blond sitting on his private tattooing chair.

     He moved his lips to her neck, biting down against the skin as her fingers tightened in his hair, her lips near his ear as she whimpered loudly, biting down on his ear lobe.

     He sucked at her neck, teeth grazing the skin teasingly.

     One of her hands moved to his strong shoulders, nails digging against the skin so hard Calum was sure she would leave marks.

     But, as they both knew, they both enjoyed pain.

     He was getting too close to the edge and he knew it, pulling out of Lily, she whimpered in protest, only to be harshly dragged from the chair and turned around, hips slamming into the soft leather as his hand went to her back, pushing her front so she was flush against the fabric.

     He entered her from behind and they both moaned, the new angle hitting a new spot inside of her that was driving them both insane. His hands on her waist easily moved her body to meet every thrust.

    Calum was completely using her, and she was enjoying every moment.

    A hand wrapped in her blonde hair, tugging so she was standing, back against his chest. His hand moved from her hair to wrap around her front, briefly grabbing her boob and teasing the nipple. Her back arched and she moaned loudly as his hand moved higher still, tattooed fingers wrapping around Lily’s throat.

     Her heart was racing in her chest and with the added pressure on her neck, she was seeing stars. Whiney, high pitched whimpers were leaving her pretty lips and Calum was basking in the noise but fuck, he wanted to engulf them. He wanted to breath her.

     But the chair wouldn’t do. It was hot, but it wouldn’t work.

     This time when Calum pulled out, he dragged the two of them onto the ground, Lily landing on top. She straddled his waist, wasting no time before she sank down on top of him, her hands finding his tattoos chest to anchor herself as she began to move up and down on him.

     His hands went to her waist and he looked up at her in wonder as she found a steady rhythm. Little moans left her mouth as she collapsed forward, lips pressing against Calum’s as one of his hands found her hair.

     The hand on her hip tried tried to assist her, urging for her to move faster. It was amazing, but Calum was getting impatient again, wanting all the power. All the control.

     He flipped them easily and Lily hissed at the cold of the ground on her back but the feeling was immediately forgotten as Calum picked up the fasted rhythm yet.

     Her nails tore into his back and their mouths were close but their lips barely touched as they panted against each other. “Fuck.” Lily said, voice shaky, “I’m gonna cum.”

     “Me too.” Calum moaned, pistoning into her like a wild man. They were both on the edge and one more thrust engulfed Lily, her body fluttering and convulsing around him which made Calum reach his high too.

     He spasmed a little, giving a few more thrusts as their hands tore at each other, mouths hot and pressed together, tongues clashing.

     He slowed down and buried his face in her neck, holding himself over her with his forearms.

     Lily’s fingers traced Calum’s strong shoulders, “wow.” she breathed.

     Calum chuckled, placing one last kiss to her neck before he pulled out and rolled onto the ground next to her.

     They both stared at the ceiling, trying to catch their breaths.

     Calum sat up and Lily got a good look at his back. She’d broken the skin in three places but it looked beautiful.

     Calum groaned, pulling his jeans on. He stood up and buttoned them. Lily appreciated the beautiful man, clad in jeans, looking gorgeous.

     He walked to the sink, grabbing some paper towels. He got on his knees between Lily’s legs and cleaned her up, making sure the tattoo was completely wiped. “Birth control.” he smirked, “fucking love it.”

     Lily laughed, hiding her face with her hands.

     He tossed out the paper towels and came to lie next to her again, pulling her to his side so he could wrap his arm around her.

     “We are so fucked.” Lily groaned.

     Calum laughed.

     They were.

     “So… shawarma?” Lily asked.

     Calum laughed again, “that’s what I was thinking.”

     “Really?” Lily rolled over, hand going to Calum’s chest as she looked up at him.

     “We’re the same person. It’s kind of weird actually.”

     “If we’re the same person, then what am I thinking right now?” Lily asked.

     “You’re thinking that after the schwarma, you should come back to my place and we can trace each others tattoos, go a little slower, and I can make you cum more than just twice.”

     Lily laughed, “We must really be connected.”

----

     When Calum and Lily walked into the tattoo parlour the next morning, each with a black, iced coffee, it was obvious what had happened.

     She was even wearing one of his shirts, paired with the same skirt she’d worn the day before.

     There was a mark on her neck.

     “It’s like they’re not even trying to hide it.” Michael mused.

     “He’s so whipped.” Ashton giggled.

     He was.

     The guys waited until they could get Calum alone when Lily went on a lunch break to finally ask Calum what happened.

     “So are you two finally dating or what?” Luke asked blatantly.

     Calum turned to look at them and a flash of pain marred his face momentarily, “uh-”

     “You okay?” Ashton asked with concern.

     Calum’s eyes widened a little and Michael laughed, “did she tear up your back mate?!”

     “She did!” Luke laughed, “she totally did.”

     Calum blushed and everyone's eyes widened.

     Calum Hood never blushed.

     Ashton smirked, “So when’s the wedding?”

----

     They spend almost every waking hour together that whole week.

     Then the next.

     Then the next.

     The third week, cuddled in his bed, Duke tucked against Lily’s side, Calum finally asked the question: “want to be my girlfriend?”

     He didn’t do love. But he’d never met a girl like Lily before. The past weeks had made him rethink everything he’d ever known to be true. About love, life, happiness.

     Everything had changed.

     Lily looked up at Calum, finger tracing one of the tattoos on his chest, “yeah.” she said, a smile spreading across her face.

     Calum met her gaze, cupping her face to bring her lips to his.

     He smiled against her lips, “Thank god for your fucking florals.”

-----

     It was no shock that one month became two and two became three.

     Attached at the hip like twins, always together, they were the perfect fit. It got to a point where it was almost like they knew what the other was thinking.

     Lily was a year into her apprenticeship when Calum announced that it would be her last week. They’d gone out to celebrate, Calum and Lily had even disappeared to the bathroom to celebrate a little in private, much to the dismay of Ashton and Luke, and the glee of Michael.

     Calum didn’t even bother to ask Lily what tattoo she had planned for him. He trusted her completely.

     The day finally came and once the shop closed, everyone sat around with booze while they watched Lily and Calum. “Pick the place baby.” he smiled.

    Lily took his right arm and chose the spot she’d drawn the first chrysanthemum on all those months ago. Calum didn’t look as she drew the pattern, not wanting to ruin the surprise.

     He chatted easily, unflinching, with the guys as the buzz of the gun softly filled the room.

     “How’s it looking Mike?” Calum asked.

     Michael leaned over, looking at Lily’s marks, “looks sick.” Michael grinned.

     A little while longer and Lily was cleaning the skin, “okay, you’re all done.” she stated.

     Calum brought her lips to his for a kiss before looking down at the tattoo.

     He had accepted it would be floral, in fact, he’d been excited about finally having floral.

     And he wasn’t disappointed. In fact, his heart swelled in his chest.

     Two beautiful Chrysanthemums and a Lily. A little, perfect bouquet, just for him.

     “The chrysanthemums so we match-” she began to explain.

      “And the Lily because you’re you.” Calum finished for her. Lily flushed and Calum grinned, “Can’t get rid of you now can I?” he teased, “I love it.”

     And he did.

     But not as much as he loved the woman who had marked his body forever.

     Not as much as he loved his Lily.

[qtsp00k]

I heard from a friend and they said that they were trying to find a corned beef and cabbage meal to bring over to my place so we could have traditional Irish feast together and I was like oh my gosh I was just going to go to Conroy's by myself so if you want to go with me to Conroy's we can go out to eat if you're up to it cuz I'm up for it feeling great aside from my headache which is technologically induced so as long as I avoid technology I will continue to be feeling relatively well right right.

And so we headed to Conroy's but we got to Conroy's and they popped in and found out that it would be an hour and a half wait and they were like dude I'm just like calling Nub's pub and seeing what the weight is there like we can wait here but if Nub's pub is doing traditional feast and the wait time is shorter would you be okay not going to Conroy's and I was like dude my heart is not set on Conroy's it was just where I was trying to make plans with other people that fell through so I was just going to go by myself after all the plans fell through but calling Nub's pub they had a 20 minute wait which is exactly how long it took us to get there so we get in the door and our table is ready and I had a root beer and they had a Guinness and we feasted and it was delicious like really really good good corned beef and cabbage meal and sadly Alaska and I was like prepared to eat Irish soda bread with raisins in it which is a common preparation which I never do with my father never did I don't think I've ever eaten Irish soda bread with raisins in it in my life actually but I digress there was no Irish soda bread and so for dessert we split a creme brulee which I took like two bites of before I was like this is making me sick already and they were like yeah it's making me sick too and then proceeded to Wolf it down.

dinner conversation was delightful and my now intoxicated from one Guinness friend was much fun so we popped over to Walmart and hung out at Walmart looking at toys and clothes and I was like where's the St Patrick's Day clearance and we immediately turned the corner and there's just like a rack just a loose rack on Wheels just like hanging out just the road there and it was like well asking you shall receive and on that rack was like plenty of shirts but I have I think six St Patrick's Day shirts which is all I will need for the rest of my life I'm pretty sure because one of them is pizza I believe one of them is a tuxedo tea which I live for tuxedo tease I have several of them and I love them dearly and one of them is a luck o meter like if I was an Irish robot like oh man that one's really good and then I have the one I was wearing which is from 6th grade and I have the shirt from when well from one of the years my dad was almost always in our local Saint Patrick's Day parade and I have one of the first years that I remember seeing my dad on the float wearing that shirt I have that shirt and I'm about to cry just talking about it and I didn't find it I really wanted to wear it but I didn't find it and there's no way that it's like that it was lost or I don't have it it just has not been located since the move.

So even though there were some nice shirts I was most excited about the green leopard print leggings that have shamrocks like stealthy incorporated into the pattern OMG I cannot believe what I'm seeing unfortunately the only size options available were extra large or even bigger and I am nowhere near an extra large like I just told you I wear child shorts so I now have a pair of St Patrick's Day leggings that are super soft and comfy like those nice Walmart leggings you know like the only other pair of nice Walmart leggings that I have like this are my black and white Halloween bat pattern and the like sweater pattern Halloween that's traditional like purple orange green black white like skulls and whatever but I actually thrifted in like brand new condition and was really funny because I was trying to decide between that pair and the black and white batty very cartoon simplistic design like I would totally design those legs like I would be capable of like drawing all of those things on those leggings and slapping them on there and pushing them out into the world you know and I guess that's ultimately why I settled on that legging but it was really hard for me to decide between the other ones so when a couple of years later I came across them practically brand new at a thrift store it was like oh the heavens have smiled upon me.

I know one that have been funny if I had made the other choice and then come across the leggings that I owned and in fact could even be wearing them as I stand in a thrift store because what I do when I go to a thrift store is where the tightest clothing that I can so I can try on everything right there in the aisle which usually just entails a tight tank top and leggings.

Since we were at Walmart and I need a phone and I had money for a phone I decided to get a phone and this is a very interesting story because I talked to you several employees of several stores electronics areas to try to determine which phone I needed and I have also Google searched and ask people and try to figure out what phone I can get that will just go off Wi-Fi and we'll just play animal crossing pocket and I thought that you know I had found that and I got the phone I get it home and it turns out it's like one of the only phone that is not compatible with animal crossing pocket camp and dude dude dude mother-effing dude how we know this is my friend just like popped on to Google and the first time they ever search for this information this information that I've been trying to obtain ever since pocket camp updated to the freaking AR camera thing which knocked me out of the game it's just a list of all the phones that are compatible like like they just put in the exact right like set of words and I think that like one of the reasons that this friend gets so frustrated with me not being able to find stuff on the internet is that they don't come from an English speaking household and like somehow like that is really conducive to Google searching it is like so weird that like I'm like dude I looked for it and then they're like you're just an idiot like here it is dumb dumb and just like a list of it so I now have that list and it's not a big deal like I freaking just like collapsed when I got home and like could not get animal crossing on my phone but not a big deal I'm just going to go back to Walmart and exchange the phone for one that will work now that I have that list so that's really cool.

So really like again like synchro thing that happened is that while I was getting that phone I got a text from one of my best friends and it turns out that they are legit like contacting me to consult me about whether or not they should purchase animal crossing for the switch and like what so like after I go through this whole like oh no and then the acceptance and like it's not a big deal of my animal crossing kind of debacle on St Patrick's Day I get to talk about animal crossing for the switch and it's still all of its virtues and like I really could not think of any negative thing to say about it. And they are like oh my goodness spending $60 on a video game Mindy I don't know about this and and I'm like I really feel like it's worth it but here's what you can do to get an idea of what the vibe is like the aesthetic of playing like a very cartoony and like the interactions and just how chill it is if your phone is compatible just download the free Pocket camp one and if you like that then you will absolutely love the switch version and being able to play both of them is like heaven on Earth and that's where I'm going I'm going to heaven on Earth because as soon as I'm able I'm going to go get a phone and I'm going to be able to play Pocket camp so the next time I have a day where I cannot move any muscle in the right side of my body I cannot get up from my seat and in fact just urinating myself and my adult diaper all day in excruciating pain I will be able to play animal crossing Park camp with my left hand and only my left hand and it'll never give me a headache unlike the version on the switch does whether it's handheld or on a big TV so like I'm just like over the moon about absolutely everything and even though the day started off really rough St Patrick's Day with none of my blood family and my dad and my brother and my mom and like everything just like like that aching and that family trauma that like hasn't been cleared yet the day ended on like the highest note connecting with one of my favorite people to end my day with honestly so it was just amazing and I what did I do oh yeah I put on leprechaun 5 and I put a green filter on my TV and I tried to watch The matrix but like it kicked me back out of the app as soon as Trinity got kicked and had not gotten back up yet yeah that happened that seriously happened like that thing that I say to myself like to encourage myself through life ever since seeing that movie get up get up Trinity get up get up Trinity yeah movie gone before we even got to that line I was just aight we just rollin wif it.

right now I honestly don't even remember what I put on to fall asleep to at all which just tells you how fast I fell asleep after my head hit the pillow and my cat curled up in my arms.

No sleeping no portendum actually even and yep I slept great and I woke up today and I feel pretty great I mean I'll have to take it easy pain is a little problematic I had quite an outing yesterday but possibly because it's early enough I could I could get a second win and and be able to go get my animal crossing phone.

So that's awesome.

the level of socialization that I'm doing is like exhausting and like it's a lot but I really love it and I've never had so many friends in my life there's like maybe like seven or eight people that I want to connect with every day and that like every time I'm doing anything you know like yesterday like I want all of them right there and I don't know how to make that happen but I promise you I promise you all I'm going to get on discord I'm going to figure that out my understanding is that we can then like watch stuff together or like you can tune in to like me watching stuff or something I don't know but it's going to be more interaction with me than what you've had and I'm very happy for you of course because I know how much you love me and I know how much you miss me and I wish that I was not such a debilitatingly disabled person that I could you know be like a shining YouTube star celebrity interaction like I'm not able to juggle all of that but I love the attention I love your love and even though it it's an overwhelming amount of appreciation I am not upset about it at all and the stress that I feel of producing content and interacting with my fan base like it's a pressure that I welcome in my life because it's a motivating factor to be social and you know for my personal self is why I put my entire life online or on paper.

I don't know if you know this but for whatever reason like probably as a result of my traumatic brain injury combined with being erroneously mistakenly over medicated with antipsychotics when I was wrongfully institutionalized I kind of just like forget everything recent that happened like once I go to sleep the day before is just like almost completely gone like an edge of sketch erasing.

And that's why I document everything that goes on in my life for myself and and that's how I'm able to be even in your lives because I'm doing it for myself and my story and my life just exist as this inspiration and this motivation and this light in all of your lives the enriches me AND you so yo I've been online doing this sharing my life 100%. No such thing as TMI N D whY??!

because you need the full story of the highs and the lows and of My darkest hours and of the moments where I feel cradled in the loving arms of creation and in our intelligent creator in order to properly appreciate my story.

Instagram has been fun but as you may you're not know Instagram is something that I created solely for myself and it is entirely curated to be all of those moments where life is worth living so that when I feel like life is not worth living and become terribly suicidal because again I experience untold pain chronic debilitating disability and emotional suffering like you would not believe I can go to my Instagram scroll for like 30 seconds and then see that how I feel in the moment that that there's only darkness is not the reality and and that if I just hang in there through that darkness I'll come out of it and I'll be bouncing around on Instagram in no time soon.

those of you who know me from there like there's very little mention of any hardship in my life and that's why and it is not that I ever was trying to conceal that from you or that I ever stop my full disclosure intention that I've been here on the internet doing since 2005 and really really doing since 2008-2009 detailing the journey of my chronic invisible illness issues with chronic lyme disease traumatic brain injury endometriosis schizophrenic symptoms bipolar diagnosis borderline personality disorder diagnosis you know like the whole enchilada the whole enchilada has been here since 2009 solid.

So I'm not sure how I should go about like separating my Tumblr or tagging it really like I just want to figure out how to tag it so that I can pull up all the good stuff and all the bad stuff and kind of keep them separate but I mean that's kind of the thing of tumblers that I don't have to like do that and as long as I do decent tagging so that I can find what I'm looking for and and you can find what you're looking for then I've done my job.

I love you also much and I don't remember exactly what my follower count was on my ladyluvlee account before it was hacked & deleted(close to 5K) but I would really like to still produce the t-shirt designs that I created as appreciation for your appreciation and just with my cutie spook handle instead of Lady lovely.

I really really think we're getting close to the point where I'm going to be creating merchandise with my original drawing designs on that merchandise so be excited cuz I'm excited and thank you for hanging in here with me.

I could have done it without you because I can do anything under any circumstances but I would not want to do it without you at all because after all my years as a lone wolf sociopathic weirdo I truly believe that life is an experience that is better when it's shared.

Even when and if we don't particular like it or agree with those perspectives.

I don't seek to change your perspective I just seek to expand it and the more people sharing their experiences of life the more puzzle pieces we have of the bigger picture.

And life is a picture so big that no one person could possibly comprehend it, so we need all the perspectives we can get!

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - Gen 8 Retrospective

This Generational recap itself might be a bit on the shorter side, since I already said my peace on the games themselves and their less than stellar impact on the fandom before I even started them. (Not that there isn’t a lot I’m talking about here today though, hoo boy.) Though just know between a repeat playthrough and my opinion on the Pokemon dropping as I've analyzed them more, I'd say my final verdict is that they're a decent enough swan song to the way Pokemon games used to be that made Gym battles feel special again but lacked in a lot of other areas. 6/10 overall.

Though obviously Gen 8 isn't done yet. Since DLC is on the way, as I've said several times already. My general thoughts on the concept of Pokemon DLC replacing the traditional “Third Version” is good. For one thing I'd much rather pay $30 for access to new content immediately over paying another $60 for a “Pokemon Armor” version that had most of its new content back-loaded in the postgame. $30 is still steep... but it's better. And of course, the prospect of releasing more new Pokemon via DLC is a good one too. Hopefully releasing DLC rather than a full game every year will relinquish some of the workload off Gamefreak... so perhaps we can get smaller batches of new Pokemon released mid-generation to help mitigate just how many Pokemon felt like they didn't get finished in time. But also hopefully it'll mean Gen 9 will be all the better when we get there... Gamefreak has stated they're really challenging themselves with the next major Pokemon games so hopefully they're taking the more level-headed criticism to heart and it's not all talk but we'll have to see.

Yeah, that's about all I have to say about the state of Pokemon as of right now, neverminding my multiple rants and tangents since I've already gone to great lengths to state that Gen 8 isn't as good as I might've initially thought. I still like it overall, and it's probably still not my least favorite Gen... but it's very much like Gen 4 with an EXTREMELY mixed bag. Certainly felt like for every excellently designed Pokemon they had below-average flunky that feels like it should've gone back to the drawing board once or twice. But even all that aside, one of my more annoying sticking points with Gen 8 is the severe lack of new animals.

So in place of my usual ramblings on my thoughts on a generation as a whole, let's do a little Compare and Contrast. Let's look at the past few Generations and see just how noticeable this flood of species redo's is. Green checks are significantly new enough animals, Red crosses are for animal origins that have been done before, Yellow slashes for Pokemon with vague or heavily mixed taxonomic origins, and Grey circles for Pokemon that are disqualified for being Objectmon, since we've yet to get repeats of those. (Also disqualifying Gen 8's regional evos other than Obstagoon since it's not necessarily their fault that they're repeats.)

Are there arbitration in places? Probably. But I feel like the point still stands that Gen 8 was waaaaay too reliant on touching up on animals already covered in Pokemon before. Especially when there's still so many animals that have yet to get a Pokemon to their name. The one plus Gen 8 does have in this regard is that it has a few more “taxonomically vague” Pokemon than usual. But repeating animals in and of itself isn't all that bad, if you make the repeat different enough to be interesting in its own right. The one thing you could do wrong in that regard is to just make your monster notably more “normal” compared to the Pokemon it's repeating. So how does that hold up?

As much as I've established that one's a crow and the other's a raven, the two animals are still very much similar creatures. But I do feel like Murkrow and Corviknight are differentiated enough while both still being a “fantasy” creature in their own way. Murkrow is very much a gangly, cartoony crow while Corviknight covers the more majestic side of corvids.

Another one that's pretty blatant is that we now have two regions with a Ladybird as the common bug. Orbeetle does however get to be more accurate to the Ladybird life cycle, starting out with a larvae and ending with the beetle. Again, Ledian and Orbeetle are very different flavors of the same creature, Orbeetle not skimping out on any outlandish elements. In fact, it's more visibly outlandish than Ledian was.

This is where things start to get hazy. I've stated that Nickit and Thievul are sadly my least favorite fox Pokemon to date, simply because it has the least to offer imaginatively than all the other foxes that accompany it. Ninetales has the kitsune thing going on, while its Alolan variant covers Arctic Foxes. Zorua is a fantastical take on the tricky nature of foxes by combining aspects of shapeshifting kitsunes or tanookies while throwing in a bit of Kabuki. And Fennekin grows up to be more of a wizard. Thievul is very much a stereotypical red fox while having the trickster nature of foxes that's not only been done by Zorua before, but also in a much more stereotypical thieving way like a Swiper the Fox sort of thing.

Wooloo always struck me as odd ever since it turned out it wasn't the region's common Normal-type. I can excuse plainness in the common woodland animal since they're rather uniformly not terribly interesting (and arguably are like that by design). So it turns out it's more of a common early-game fodder just like Mareep is, but Mareep is just a smidge more interesting by being elemental, and also it turns into Ampharos, a weird little bipedal lamb with little flippers for some reason. Which is reasonably more imaginative than a Pokemon that's mostly just a sheep.

Sandaconda is another one that feels significantly fantastical and unique compared to its previous serpentine cousins. The only snake Pokemon beforehand that was hugely different from the template of what a snake usually is was Snivy. Sandaconda is even unique as far as cobra monsters go, with its “hood” being a big ol' sac that it keeps its projectile Anakin-repelent in.

Centiskorch is a little iffy. It's cool that they turned a real centipede's grappling maneuver and turned it into an even more effective weapon via its heat spots. But in terms of body shape it's significantly more normal looking for a centipede than Scolipede's almost horse-like proportions, isn't it?

Another iffy comparison since they're both fairly “regular” looking Octopus monsters. But even so, I'd count it as a point against Gen 8 since there's been more than plenty of time to come up with a cool and unique body type for an octopus.

That's better! Eiscue, while normal-looking if you only count the penguin body, is still a funny and imaginative take on a penguin monster that is a completely different flavor from Empoleon's stern look to boot.

Another dodgy one to justify. There's neat theming in there, but there's hardly any denying that an elephant that rolls up into a wheel and rolls around is notably a much weirder take on an elephant that Copperajah going by an elephant's body shape to a T.

Had they gone for a look more purposefully weirdly geometric like they SEEM to be going for, I probably would've given it a hand-wave, but even with that in mind, Copperajah is pretty vanilla in terms of Elephant monsters. Especially compared to Donphan.

...So even then, it's pretty mixed in that regard. Some Pokemon feel like worthwhile additions to the biodiversity, but others I can't help but wonder what the point was. Did Wooloo really need to exist in a series that already had Mareep? Couldn't they push Copperajah's concept further to better contrast with Donphan? Having repeats isn’t BAD, pretty sure every Gen past the 2nd has done them. But it’s hard to find sticking points on Gen 6 and 7′s repeats. Aurorus is totally different from Meganium. Vikavolt, while being much more close to realism in body structure compared to Pinsir, is still a vastly different fantasy creature just on account of having a gun for a face. And the whole Goomy line is almost nothing like Magcargo. And all that is WHILE still bringing in plenty of new animals to play with.

So yeah, I hope all that can help with understanding why I was a little harsh on Gen 8. It's still not my least favorite, cause we still got a ton of good out of it, and I would much rather have a mixed Gen of “Some Really Good, Some Not So Great” over Gen 2 and 4's “Some are good but the rest are really plain and boring.” But of course, as per usual, we gotta do the lists...

Top 10 Favorites of Gen 8:

Like I said, the new Pokemon that are good are REALLY good. Still struggled to make a Top 10, for good reason!

Top 10 Favorites Overall:

That said, there wasn’t a ton of impact on my Top 10. Top 50 maybe, but not here.

Bottom 10 Least Favorites of Gen 8:

Sadly there was plenty I was just plain not a fan of. Has there ever been a Gen where I just straight up dislike the whole Bottom 10? Hmm...

Bottom 10 Least Favorites Overall:

And tragically, this Gen did make a pretty deep cut into my least favorites, oof. It is an unholy image to not see Gallade be all the way to the left up there.

The Cutest:

The Coolest:

The Prettiest:

Corviknight and Eternatus aren’t just there because I ran out of traditionally pretty ones, just so you know. There’s something about a sleek, nearly all-black design that is genuinely gorgeous-looking to me.

The Spookiest:

Most Creative:

Weirdest/Most Unique:

Most Forgettable:

Most Personality:

At least there were still plenty of personality-driven designs! Look at all these adorable little charmers and smug little shits.

Most Under-Appreciated:

Best Regional Variants:

I’ve probably said it already but I am legitimately ecstatic with Regional Variation being a mainstay feature now. There is INFINITE potential with the concept and totally didn’t deserve to get ditched after a single use just in Alola. In fact I think it’d be rad if they do any more remakes they retroactively made “Sinnohan” or “Hoenn” forms of Pokemon. I thought they might’ve made some “Kantonian” forms for Pokemon in Let’s Go and redesigned a few modern Pokemon to look a bit like they were designed back in the 90s... but sadly that didn’t happen. Despite how cool it would’ve been. But Kanto is sacred ground that cannot ever be changed, I guess...

Best Ultra Beasts: (????????????????)

h

Best G-Maxes:

I still love the concept of G-Maxes, and we’ll probably get a few more before Gen 8 is done entirely. But it does stink that the concept in the end felt a little half-baked. Speaking of which...

Pokemon That SHOULD'VE Gotten G-Maxes:

Because G-Maxes wound up being locked to only be for Gen 1 or 8 Pokemon, with only a handful of exceptions. MAYBE they’ll stretch into other Gens in the DLC, but until then lemme just make a personal wishlist of SQUANDERED potential. Though I’ll limit myself to Pokemon that are only in the current Galardex as to not be here all day.

I’m sure if you pay attention to the Fakemon scene at all, you’ve already seen a few G-Max Dhelmises where the seaweed has grown so massive that it’s now able to possess an entire haunted ship. And they are CORRECT to make such a thing because GOD what were they thinking NOT doing that?!? It’s right there under your noses!!!

Still bummed there was never a Mega Vanilluxe... but this could easily make up for it! A towering snowing mountain of ice cream is a super cool idea for a kaiju-size ice cream monster, maybe even ditching the icicle shaped cone in favor of having it rest in a “bowl” of ice!

Like??? Hello????? Are you telling me you’re making Kaijumon over here and you’re NOT gonna make a giant mecha?????????????????

Because a giant living beehive deploying swarms upon swarms of Combee is a badass concept just by itself.

Like c’mon this one was REALLY staring you in the face. A region set in Poke-England and you’re not gonna make a funny giant Zeppelin?

Just trying to imagine a colossal haunted chandelier is giving me chills by itself. Especially if you were to make it look elaborately regal and all that.

I’ve not got a specific idea, you’d just think they’d compensate for the lack of a Mega form.

G-Max Rillaboom has me feeling like this one’s likely to not happen, since I imagined a cool idea for a G-Max Trevenant was to make it a giant Deku-Tree looking haunted tree with a colossal trunk and even bigger canopy.

I guess Butterfree already had the spot taken for “Mothra stand-in”, but I feel like Frosmoth has just as much cool potential for a G-Max form as Butterfree did. Especially with the powdery snow scales it has.

Perfect opportunity to give Goodra a giant, more monstrous slug-like form. But no dice there either. Maybe next form gimmick...

Okay, C’MON. We KNOW they weren’t that bothered about giving G-Max forms out to Pokemon that already had Megas. This is the most obvious one of all! ESPECIALLY since its defacto-Mecha Godzilla got a G-Max but it didn’t.

Most “Unfinished” Feeling:

Since “least favorite” doesn't necessarily meant “unfinished.” (As much as I dislike Toxel, it doesn't really strike me as “not done.”) Not that I have clairvoyance on Gamefreak's internal workings, but some of these Pokemon definitely feel like they're not up to scratch with the series's usual quality standard.

My Disappointment is Immeasurable and My Day is Ruined:

To pick on Gen 8 one last time... and since it was a running gag anyway, here's the Pokemon that just crush my dreams the most. Except Appletun, mostly. It's good enough to be let off the hook. The rest? They were things that were on my wishlist of things and animals I would've LOVED to see get turned into Pokemon, only for my hopes and dreams to sink faster than the Titanic. Considering a majority of concepts within Pokemon don't come back, if not for a very long time, these Pokemon mean that I have to reluctantly strike a cake monster, a snowman, a coal monster, a train monster, a sea urchin, a pie monster, and some fresh Lapras attention off my wishlist. Sigh.

With two rounds of DLC coming, the main Pokemon review series probably won't be back until the tail end of this year shortly after Crowned Tundra is released. I am excited to get to talk about some of what they've shown so far, but I'd rather wait until the content is released and we know everything about the new Pokemon and Regionals. There will however be at least one more little bonus article about Gen 8 and the future of the series, but I wouldn't expect it to be out for a while. Before the DLC is out probably, but still a long ways off.

[Archive]

[stillebesat]

The Path: A Tale of Trick or Treating -Duke (10/15)

Sanders Sides: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, Deceit, Remus Sanders Shorts: Remy (Sleep) Cartoon Therapy: Emile Picani Blurb: You’ve been trick or treating at the Sanders Side’s homes for as long as you can remember, but this year things get a bit more…complicated. Fic Type: Halloween, Adventure Chapter 10 Warnings: Duke, Corpses, Haunted House related scaring, blood, mangled body parts, Death Talk Author’s Note: This fic is told in Second Person.

Previous Houses: Remus(1) Patton(2) Emile(3) Remy(4) ???(5) Logan(6) Roman(7) Virgil(8) Diva(9)

NO NO NO NO!

You swore you’d never go back.

Surely you wouldn need to--you didn’t hav--you’d already grabbed the marbles from The Duke! You’d given them to Roman. That was what had started you on The Path in the first place! Surely that meant you wouldn’t have to revisit him for a terrorizing second time. Right? Right.

You had Roman’s Coin. You were good to go. You could skip this part. Yes. It would be fine. Just. Fine. You just needed to now find the pirate who had lost his golden coin and you could move on. 

With that thought in mind you march purposely in the other direction in search of pirates as you leave the Diva’s brightly lit place. 

Yet nine blocks and three turns later, you find yourself once again on the threshold of his domain, staring up the creepy long driveway that led to the Duke’s haunted porch because the stupid niggling question of What If wouldn’t leave your mind.

You hadn’t had the Diva’s token the first time around. What if...if giving the Juice to the Duke meant that he would give you something else you needed or even all the marbles in the skull? Maybe Roman’s chalice had to be completely full for the Path to even work right and--

You swallow, briefly closing your eyes, all too aware that you’re delaying the inevitable. Your curiosity is too strong. 

Stomach twisting, you carefully stash your bucket of hard earned candy out of sight in the nearby bushes, but not before you pull out the chocolate coins Roman had given you. 

You slip them into a different pocket from the gold dollar as you straighten, clutching the bottle of Apple Juice tightly to your chest so you wouldn’t accidentally drop it. “I got this.” You whisper as you take the first step into the Duke’s yard. If all else fails, you hope to use the fake coins as a distraction to give you time to get away. 

Get in. Get out. You chant to yourself, doing your best to ignore the creeping shadows, shaking skeletons and shrieks far too close to your ear for comfort as you briskly walk up the driveway, steeling yourself to confront the headless bloody corpse once more. 

“Want some candy?” 

You shriek, nearly dropping the apple juice despite yourself as the Headless Corpse jumps from the bushes halfway up the driveway, grinning skull already glowing menacingly. 

He cackles, lunging forward. “How about the JUICY STUFF?!” He roars, the eye on his shoulder spinning like crazy.

You scream again and instinctively fling yourself backwards to get away from the horror attacking you, only to stumble over your own feet and fall to the ground, tangling yourself in a display of skeletons in the process. 

Trapped.

The corpse cackles, singing as he looms over you. “Mine. Mine. All Mine. For ever and ever.”

That’s it. 

You’re dead.

Dead. Dead. DEAD!

You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut, holding the apple juice up in front of you as a feeble barrier against him.

The Duke is totally going to kill you. He’ll suck out your blood, eat your liver and make jelly from your brains and then leave your skeleton here among the rest as a warning to all other trick or trea---

“Is that…” A soft voice whispers. “Appley juice?” 

You crack open an eye, peering up at the headless corpse, the demonic eyes of the skull muted to a mossy color as it stares at you.

“Yes.” You squeak out, certain your heart is gonna stop any second now. “F-for y-y-you.” 

The Corpse sharply inhales, skull eyes flashing a bright green as he plops down cross legged in front of you, dropping the head into his lap as his bloody torso leans forward, hands outstretched. “Mine?” 

Okay...maybe death isn’t quite so certain. Swallowing, you shakily push the bottle at him, flinching as your fingers brush his clammy ones. “Here.”

Greedily he takes it, unscrewing the lid in one quick motion and lifts it up to where his head should have been, pouring the liquid directly into the cavity of his torn throat. 

You feel yourself pale further watching the sticky juice splash off the severed neck and dribble down the stump as a loud smacking sound is heard from within the Corpse’s chest. 

“Now THAT’s-” The chest bulges like an alien is trying to claw its way out, and maybe that’s exactly what’s happening because a head, though very much human, alive, and familiar looking, explodes out of the center of the corpses chest. “the JUICY STUFF!” He exclaims with a huge grin, juice dripping from his mustache that looks cartoony enough you can’t tell if it’s real or badly glued on.  

“Ah.” You eloquently respond because you can’t stop staring at the man. Roman had told you he had a brother, but he hadn’t exactly mentioned that they were freaking twins. With the exception of the stalker stache, The Duke looked exactly like Roman and you weren’t sure you liked it. 

He claps his hands together, giggling to himself. “Ahhhhhhh? Ah. AHHHHHHHH! YES!!” The Duke grabs your wrist, somehow easily pulling you free from the tangle of skeleton bones before you can blink. “Come! Come!” Holding his skull under one arm the Duke practically drags you not to the front of the house, but around the side, away from any peering eyes.

He suddenly stops before you can gather your wits enough to fight and against him and you nearly fall into him as he whirls to you, the whites of his eyes practically glowing in the shadow of the house. “You know what Adam and Eve got when they fell?” The Duke asks, leaning in too close to you, his breath smelling like apples.

You gape at him, mind drawing a blank. “...Hurt?” 

“Knowledge!” He holds the grinning skull high over his head and shakes it so that the remaining marbles inside rattle ominously. “But!” He spins in a circle. “You know what’s bad about knowledge?” 

You fidget in place, wondering if you had actually died back with the skeletons because the Duke---was weird. Bad about knowledge? You’d always heard that knowledge was power and that power corrupts. “What?” You hesitantly ask, not sure you actually want to know the answer.

“It always comes with--” He suddenly stops spinning, and jabs a finger at you. “A price.” He smirks, rubbing his fingers together.

You frown, shaking your head. “But I gave you the apple juice!” 

“And you stole my marbles!” He plops down on the grass in front of you with a soft wail as his head vanishes back into the torso of the corpse. “I’ve lost my mind!” 

Was this guy for real? How could--“It’s not stealing if you offered!” You argue back. He had said to TAKE THEM. 

“And I said to GIVE THEM BACK.” He roars, the demonic glow coming into the skulls eyes, its jaw seeming to twist into a grin as the Corpse shoots to his feet and lunges at you again. 

You shriek, stumbling backwards. “But I don’t HAVE THEM!” Your voice rises in pitch as your back hits the wall of the house. 

“GIVE!” The Duke cries as he advances, the eyeball on his shoulder spinning like a crazy top again. “GIVE!”

But you don’t HAVE them. Desperately you search your pockets, and pull out the handful of golden coins you’d grabbed for this kind of moment. “HERE! I BOUGHT THEM! HERE!” You screech over the Duke’s own yells, throwing the chocolate at the hole in his chest.   

The corpse stumbles back a step at the onslaught of gold and the Duke suddenly pops his head out of the hole in the chest, one chocolate coin in his mouth. Slowly, staring you down, he pulls the coin fully into his mouth and eats it, foil and all. 

You shakily inhale, glad he’s stopped yelling. “Does that work, Duke?” You say, proud that your voice hardly shakes. 

 If you ever get away from this guy, you definitely are never coming back. 

Loudly he swallows, smacking his lips before he bares his teeth in a chocolate covered smile as the glowing eyes in the skull vanish, leaving black holes in their place. “TREASURE!!” He giggles and thrusts the skull into your chest. “You do have a good head on your shoulders. Have a second for double the trouble!” 

You barely grab it before it tumbles to the ground, warmth tingling along the skull’s edges as you get a good hold on it.  

Was that it?

Was that all?

He pulls out another coin that had made it into the hole in his chest and takes a bite, loudly chewing as he stares you down.

That had to be it. This had to be your opening. You had the marbles. That’s what you needed. Right? Right.

“Uh...Thanks, Duke.” You say nodding to him, edging along the side of the house.

He cocks his head, looking oddly childlike before he softly says. “Remus.” 

You pause, momentarily distracted. “Remus?”

He nods, popping the rest of the coin into his mouth. “My name--will you bring more Appley Juice next year?” 

Your eyebrows raise at the odd request. Surely the guy could buy his own Apple Juice from the store whenever he wanted to right? 

“Will you not scare me next year?” You find yourself asking. Because there was no way you’d venture in here again otherwise. Not when you intended to finish this Path tonight.  

He pouts, looking at the ground, using his foot to poke at a coin that had missed its mark when you’d thrown it. “A case of Appley Juice and I won’t.” He bargains looking up.

A case?! 

There was no way you’d lug that much juice around while trick or treating! The Diva had only given you one--would he give you more or just stick with the one if you had to do this whole crazy path thing next year?

“Three bottles.” You offer. You could carry two if The Diva gave you the third.

His eyes brighten, the one on his shoulder swishing up and down. “Twelve!”

Remus really liked his apple juice apparently. “I’ll do Six...and you get one scream from me.” You reluctantly offer. You could handle the extra weight for a while and a little scaring. Maybe. 

The Du--Remus claps his hands together cackling as he dances in place, the eye on his shoulder blinking rapidly. “DONE!” He spins away still dancing. “Appley juice appley juice all the juice juice JUICY STUFF!!” He sings.

 You let out a breath, the tension in your shoulders fading as you hug the skull to your chest. Great you’d made a deal with a crazy man. You shake your head and turn to get the heck out of this place before the Duke did something else completely--

“As tangled as the vines may be.” Remus sings behind you, barely loud enough for you to hear.

You freeze nearly dropping the marbles as the words ring in your head like a gong. You whirl back to him. “What did you just say?” You demand, almost breathlessly. Those had been the words on Dr. Picani’s fortune. You were sure of it. But how did the Duke know what yours had said?!

Remus smirks, eyes glittering as he leans nonchalantly against the house, picking at the hole in his chest, but doesn’t repeat himself as the eye on his shoulder swivels to stare directly at you. 

Another challenge?! Couldn’t the Duke just...well let you leave without throwing constant curveballs at you? 

You lick your lips desperately trying to recall what the rest of fortune had said. It had been about---dragon--no Fire. About Flames--colored--”Rainbow flames--uh--” You hunch your shoulders, trying to think of how it went. It rhymed with be. What rhymed--”Rainbow flames will…” you lift your head, staring him down. “set you free.” 

The eye flashes green then red before it closes. Remus bounces on his toes, nodding energetically. “Only if you properly feed the Beast!” He reaches into his shirt and pulls out a large bag of candy, tossing at you. 

You nearly drop the skull as you try to catch it, feeling multiple smaller objects moving within the red plastic.  

“Skittles?” You ask as the light from your bracelet catches the white lettering on the package.

He grins, giving you a wink. “Fit for a King, though not for my Brother.” He blows you a kiss, wiggling his fingers. “Give my regards to the Seer Saint!” Remus twirls like a ballerina before darting off into the darkness. “Ta Te Ta!” 

On to the Next House Prince(11) Picani(12) Logic(13) Deceit(14) ???(15)

Taglist in Reblog.

[mobius-prime]

68. Special - Sonic Blast

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Sonic Blast

Writer: Mike Gallagher Pencils: Art Mawhinney Colors: Karl Bollers

So, as you might have guessed, this special issue is based off the Sonic Blast game, in which Sonic rescues Flickies - small nonsentient birds - and transports them and himself through magic rings. The intro page gives us a little detail on how Flickie Island is apparently the "last unspoiled ecosystem on Mobius," but of course, now that Robotnik's gotten wind of such a place existing, he's determined to pollute and exploit it. But Sonic the Environmentalisthog won't let such a dastardly thing happen!

Funnily enough, the way that the Freedom Fighters find out about Robotnik's plans is because of Snively, who is still pissed at Robotnik for the events of the Sonic Quest miniseries. Thus, he decides to broadcast Robotnik secretly to the entirety of Knothole as revenge, while Robotnik rambles on and on about his plans. Sally comes to find Sonic sitting at the beach, and finds him rather sulky, thinking about how she lied before about her extensive history with Knuckles. To put his jealousy over the echidna to rest, she decides to flirt with him in perhaps the most uncomfortable way imaginable.

Sorry, Sally, but really? "You know how to bristle, don't you"? What does that even mean? Do you get all hot and bothered when he shows his spines to you or something? And dear lord what is that painful expression you make when you get close to his face? Are you trying to kiss him? It looks more like you just got sucker punched in the mouth and now your lips are all puffed up and swollen from it. Art, buddy, I know you generally go for a more cartoony style in your drawings but damn it, you can do a better almost-kiss face than that.

Anyway, they of course get interrupted by the news about Robotnik before they can make out, and Sonic sets out with Tails and Rotor in their respective submarine vehicles to Flickie Island to stop Robotnik from causing any trouble. Luckily for the plot, Robotnik's already there, on the hunt for the Chaos Emerald he's sure is around here somewhere, and is taking advantage of the small cute birds' trusting nature to turn them into his robotic slaves.

Shocking behavior, Ivo! By the time Sonic and co. reach the island, the roboticized Flickies are already swarming around the place, and divebomb them when they try to investigate. However, by chance some of them land in the water, and come out reverted back to their organic forms. Sonic decides to test this theory using some speed superpowers that, if tried in any real-life setting, would probably explode the universe from the sheer amount of energy released. I distinctly remember discussing this exact scene with some friends several years ago, and how utterly ridiculous it is, but then again, we're debating the physics of Sonic the Hedgehog here.

I mean, for real, he could have gotten the same effect by just splashing it really hard. Way to show off, man.

Anyway, Sonic then fearlessly dives into the water, proving once again how different he is from every counterpart of his in other canons, and heads into the heart of the island while Rotor and Tails battle their way up the beach using some spare super-soakers they had on hand. Sonic soon happens upon Robotnik with the help of a random Flickie, and they duke it out for a bit - interestingly hand-to-hand. Normally Robotnik relies on minions and robots to defend himself physically from Sonic, but apparently he's given his costume a few upgrades this time around, being able to shoot lasers from his robotic arm, zap Sonic to disorient him, and then tie him up in his indestructible cape once they make it through the magic ring leading to the Flickies' home zone.

Robotnik is sure this is where his prized Chaos Emerald must be located, and sure enough, he finds it embedded in the forehead of a giant stone Flickie statue. Hooray for Ivo! Oh… wait…

Wow, Robotnik is an advocate of religious tolerance now? He's certainly come a long way from the issue where he declared his ban on religious freedom.

Robotnik soon finds himself on the run for his life, emerald in hand and zone collapsing, and by the time he reaches the ring, Sonic's already managed to shred the cape he's wrapped in with more supersonic powers. They manage to get through before the zone collapses, but…

See, I find it unnecessary for Sonic to have saved Robotnik at all. Sure he would have lost his arm trying to hold onto the emerald, which would surely have been a horrific souvenir for the Flickies left in the zone, just a big flabby severed arm flopping down onto the ground with the symbol of the owner's greed still clutched in its fingers, but that's not the point. That's his only organic arm - his other is cybernetic. Clearly, at some point in the past Robotnik either lost an arm, or willingly sacrificed it to augment himself with robotic parts, but either way he's no stranger to having a prosthetic arm. I feel like losing his other one would be at worst a minor inconvenience until he built himself a new one, which let's be real, would be even stronger than his organic arm and therefore better by his standards.

Either way, he ends up not losing the arm, but is forced to leave the emerald behind. Rotor and Tails then show up to inform him that in the meantime, they already deroboticized all the other Flickies and sent them back through the ring to their home zone, so they're now forever out of his reach. They then leave in their submarines, marooning Robotnik on the island. This is actually like one of the first really smart decisions they've made regarding him, honestly. Sure he'll find a way to get off, but these guys spend way too much time and energy saving him from his own hubris and thus leaving him alive to murder more innocents.

The T.U.F.F. Awards

Writer: Angelo DeCesare Pencils: Dave Manak Colors: Karl Bollers

This is really just more of a silly couple pages than an actual story. Sonic and Sally are hosting the T.U.F.F. ("The Ultimate Freedom Fighter") Awards, and giving out awards for "Most X Freedom Fighter" to everyone. Unfortunately, Rotor was in charge of deciding who won each award, and apparently has terrible judgment.

In the end, Sally claims the "Smartest Freedom Fighter" award for herself, claiming that she's earned it when she turns out the lights on the show. Good job, Sally, cause honestly it wasn't interesting at all.

Bugged Bunnie

Writer: Angelo DeCesare Pencils: Dave Manak Colors: Karl Bollers

What a pun! Robotnik and Snively sneak up on Bunnie while she's napping in the grass to plant a tracking bug on her in the hopes that when she wakes up she'll lead them back to Knothole. Unfortunately for them, she's a rabbit, and thus is able to traverse terrain they really can't by hopping long distances (her robotic lower half helps too). Ultimately, she jumps over a gap too far for them, and they're forced to leave, trusting their bug, which they really shouldn't have.

Oh yeah, you see where this is going. The little mole (or… whatever it is. Gopher? Prairie dog?) takes the bug deep underground, and thus later that night Robotnik and Snively are stuck digging for hours, sure they're close to finding the secret village! Good job, guys.

[mst3kproject]

Journey to the Seventh Planet (1962)

Oh, shit, it's another John Agar movie.  This one comes to us from Sid Pink and Ib Melchior of Reptilicus, co-stars Carl Ottosen (Colonel Grayson from the same movie), and is about a bunch of astronauts landing on an unknown world where they find lots of beautiful women.  Get Jonah and the Bots on this one, stat.

In the far-off future of 2001, after world peace has been achieved, the UN sends a spacecraft to explore the seventh planet, Uranus (they pronounce it yer-AWN-us, if you wanted to know).  Upon landing, something very strange happens to the astronauts on board – they all lose consciousness for a few hours while an ominous echoey voiceover informs them that it will possess their bodies and use them to conquer the Earth!  Whatever it was seems to have already read their thoughts, because instead of a frozen wasteland, they find themselves in the woods around a little village, all very cozy and Earthlike and inhabited solely by beautiful women plucked straight from each man’s personal fantasies.  Just what a hostile intelligence needs to lure a bunch of red-blooded astronauts to their doom!

Once again, I’m going to start by being a pedant.  The people who made this movie know nothing about Uranus.  I tried to do some research on what was known about the outer solar system in 1962 and it seems like it wasn’t very much, but the term gas giant has been around since at least 1952, when James Blish used it in his short story Solar Plexus.  Based on that, it seems like people in the early sixties probably knew these planets didn’t have solid surfaces, but unless I manage to find an astronomy book from that era it’s hard to be sure.  Suffice to say, Uranus does not have snow, or volcanoes, or anything remotely like that.  It’s methane and ammonia all the way down.

That shouldn’t ruin one’s enjoyment of the movie, though.  Like its sister Reptilicus, Journey to the Seventh Planet is cartoony and colourful and quite a lot of fun to watch.  The special effects are never good, whether they’re a view of Saturn from space or an amusing but also kind of scary one-eyed dinosaur-rat monster, but they tell us what’s going on.  There’s also a couple of really clever moments in it, having to do with the malevolent intelligence hiding beneath the planet’s surface, and the illusions it creates to try to draw them in.

When the astronauts start to explore the woodland around their landing site, they quickly discover that the plants and trees around them have no roots. John Agar’s character, Don, tries to pull one up, and immediately falls on his ass when the plant does not resist him as he expected.  This is a very nice metaphor for what almost everything they find on Uranus turns out to be: a pretty surface with no substance to it.

Then there are the women they meet there, each of whom is a match to the man she targets.  In the opening scene we met the characters and heard them talk a little about their current girlfriends and lost loves.  Commander Eric recalls Ingrid, a girl who took part in a local Christmas festival when he was a boy.  He describes her as looking like a queen or a goddess, and so the adult Ingrid we meet a few minutes later is not just beautiful but regal and articulate, and a little bit commanding.  Virginal Karl remembers Ursula, a childhood crush he never dared to approach.  When she turns up, she’s in what seems to be a little girl’s frock, and claims she wants nothing more than to care for him.  Fuckboy Don is the proud owner of an extensive collection of pin-ups, and they turn up in their scanty costumes to throw themselves at him.

It is also rather interesting how the men treat these women.  They know the women are not real, because they know nothing around them is real – in their spacesuits they can pass through the force field around the little wood and village and find the real Uranus, cold, icy, and airless, outside.  They know that something threatening is here, because they met the monsters it created to drive them out of its lair.  The women know what this entity is planning because it created them.  And yet, for all that, the men never seem to consider them a threat.  When they go to confront the evil intelligence at the end, they find that the women have sabotaged their equipment – Karl, who was supposed to be keeping watch, let his guard down around Ursula.

Why do the men so completely disregard the threat of these women? Possibly because they know they’re not real, and are assumed to be incapable of doing any harm (although they do not make this same assumption of the equally unreal rat-dinosaur and giant spider).  Possibly also because they are women, whom the men – being sixties men – assume are not as intelligent or resourceful.  In this sense, using images of women as its agents was the evil intelligence’s smartest move in more ways than one.  When it probed the astronauts' minds it must have seen not only their desire for females of their own species, but also their low opinion of them, and it used both against them.  Though why it spends so much time having sex with them by proxy instead of getting on with conquering their wills, I really can’t say.

Even at the very end, as the planet apparently collapses all around them, the characters don’t seem to realize that the women were a threat to them.  In a moment I do not begin to understand the logic of, Eric attempts to save Ingrid, who says she needed to see him one last time, and takes her aboard the ship, only for her to vanish a moment later when the evil alien dies.  Honestly, I think this was a pretty lucky escape.  The movie tries to present the moment as a romantic tragedy, but I’m pretty sure it was the alien’s last-ditch attempt to get a piece of itself on board the rocket.  Eric should have known better at that point, and trying to take her with him is almost the stupidest thing any of them do in the whole movie.

Of course, there are a lot more problems with this movie, too.  Earlier I said that most of the special effects were okay, and by and large they are – but when they eventually fail they fail very hard, and right at the climax, too.  The aforementioned dinosaur-rat monster is not among the better pieces of stop motion in history but it’s not awful.  Later, however, the men are confronted by a giant spider which is nothing but footage from Earth vs the Spider, tinted blue in a feeble and ultimately completely unsuccessful attempt to make it match the colour film of Journey to the Seventh Planet!  You don’t believe in it for a moment, and even worse, they suddenly switch to a shot that doesn’t match at all when the astronauts bring a cavern roof down on the monster.

In this image, you can see a very little bit of a completely different creature that is evidently some kind of Claymation thingy with eyes on stalks.  Apparently the sequence originally featured this beast instead of the spider, but the distributor didn’t like how it turned out and replaced it with the borrowed footage.  I have a hard time imagining how embarrassingly awful the other monster must have been to be rejected in favour of this, and it makes me very, very sad to learn that the original footage probably no longer exists.

The other big effects fail is the moment when the malevolent intelligence, which of course is a giant brain with an eye in it because what the hell else would it be, eats Karl.  We never see this happen, just the brain pulsing and the other astronauts shooting at it while Karl screams.  It’s very confusing and it’s only because the characters talk about it that we realize Karl’s actual fate.  I have not been able to find out if there were originally an effects shot here that was so bad they threw it out, or if they didn’t bother attempting one.  Either way, it really deflates the climax.

My biggest complaint about Journey to the Seventh Planet is not at the end, but at the beginning.  While the astronauts are unconscious on board their ship, the alien gloats in a voiceover about what it’s going to do to them. Then, as if this never happened, they land on the planet and start trying to figure out what’s going on, while the audience already knows.  Wouldn’t it have been far more effective to let the audience try to solve the mystery with the astronauts, rather than waiting for them to catch up?  Imagine if a Sherlock Holmes movie opened with a voiceover from Moriarty, explaining his evil plan – that would suck. Any supervillain knows that expository monologues happen at the end of movies.

Considering the fun they had with Reptilicus, I’m sure MST3K could do great things with Journey to the Seventh Planet.  I don’t really want to try to guess what they’d say about it, but there is an obvious Stinger moment when Karl enthusiastically offers to try to penetrate the force field and immediately regrets it.  I also want to think that Crow and Tom would have been personally offended by the way the actors pronounce Uranus. I can see a host sketch in which they get all angry about how it’s supposed to be your-anus and when Jonah asks them if they’re just saying that because they wanted to make crude jokes, they chorus “YES!” and insist that they were robbed.

[tipsycad147]

The six best Tarot decks for beginners

by Michelle Gruben

Picking out a first Tarot deck shouldn’t be a monumental task. And yet, with so many different decks on the market today, lots of beginners are intimidated by the sheer number of options. It’s true that you can never have too many decks. But it’s also true that you have to start somewhere.

I’ve cut through the massive number of Tarot decks to recommend six classic versions that won’t lead you astray. Whether you’re choosing a first deck for yourself or as a gift, one of these decks is sure to be a good fit.

I used three criteria when choosing these top beginner’s decks: First and foremost, I looked for decks that are easy to use for newbies. Tarot is already esoteric—there’s no reason to make it even more cryptic when you’re first learning. Decks that meet this requirement are fully illustrated, with clearly titled cards and a traditional 78-card structure. (More often than not, they’re also based on Rider-Waite, the world’s most enduring deck.) Historic and experimental decks didn’t make the beginner’s list.

Secondly, I looked for decks that have a good range of energy and emotion. Tarot tackles human experiences from the highest highs to the lowest lows. There are fiery cards and watery cards and grand cards and petty cards. Beginners’ decks should reflect this diversity. I’ve avoided including those artistic decks that—while they may useful to more experienced readers—have a same-y quality to their artwork.

Finally, I only chose decks for this list that are currently in print and/or readily available. This is not just so I can sell you a Tarot deck. (Although I’d be happy to!) It’s because choosing a first deck is hard enough without trying to chase down rare or collectible editions.

So here they are—my six picks for a beginner’s Tarot deck. If you found me at my booth and asked me to help you pick a first Tarot deck, chances are you’d walk away with one of these:

The Rider-Waite Tarot

It may be a boring list-leader, but I always recommend the classic Rider-Waite Tarot to beginners. Why? Because over a century after its debut, it still gives readings that are precise, clear and deep. These stark line drawings have a psychic resonance that is simply unmatched by many newer decks.

Another plus? Rider-Waite has formed the basis for the vast majority of illustrated Tarot decks. If you learn Rider-Waite well, switching to another deck later will be a breeze.

My favorite is the Centennial Edition, which is a re-colored version of the classic 1910 deck. It has gentle colors and a fabulous vintage feel.

The Gilded Tarot

Ciro Marchetti’s Gilded Tarot has medieval-inspired characters rendered in a colorful digital style. The whole deck is luminous and lucid. I often recommend it to beginners who prefer a more modern-looking Tarot.

One useful innovation of the Gilded Tarot is its color-coded suit cards. (Blue for Water/Cups, red for Fire/Wands, and so on.) This is a great way for beginners to latch on to the elemental correspondences of the Minor Arcana. It’s also useful in readings, to see at a glance which suit(s) are dominant in a spread.

The Morgan-Greer Tarot

Created in the 1970s, the Morgan-Greer Tarot has colorful, almost cartoony illustrations. But don’t let them fool you—this is a serious deck that works well in the hands of beginners and experts alike. It follows Rider-Waite closely, with only a few departures in the symbolism of the cards.

The close-up, richly colored illustrations lend themselves well to an intuitive reading style. The artwork goes all the way to the edge. The borderless cards seem to interact when read together in a spread.

The absence of full nudity and disturbing imagery makes the Morgan-Greer a good second choice when a Rider-Waite deck may not be appropriate. For this reason, it’s popular with both beginners and professional readers.

The Golden Tarot

The Rider-Waite cast of characters dressed in cloth of gold. Kat’s Black’s Golden Tarot is a digital collage of medieval and Renaissance artwork, recreating all the classic scenes and poses of Tarot. The cards are populated by shining kings and queens, peasants and saints—all sumptuously painted and accented with golden foil. Its deviations are few and judicious. The disembodied hands in the Aces, for example, are replaced in each suit by angels holding the Ace.

The Golden Tarot so heart-meltingly beautiful that it will make beginners want to put in extra hours of practice. While its Christian imagery may be off-putting to some, it is a solid choice for most beginners.

The Sun and Moon Tarot

Both gentle and profound, the Sun and Moon Tarot recreates the cards with evocative pastel drawings. Keywords for the Minor Arcana help clue in beginners without being obtrusive. Astrological, elemental and Hebrew letter correspondences appear on the cards, should you wish to dig a little deeper.

The whole deck has a beachy, playful feel, decorated with rocky landscapes and serene ocean views. The vibe is loving and inclusive. This is a deck for the yoga crowd that doesn’t strip Tarot of its depth or gravity.

The Aquarian Tarot

The Aquarian Tarot is so stylish and timeless—medieval manuscripts and Art Deco and 1960s poster design all put in a blender and whirred into a delicious pulp. If that sounds yummy to you, then this may be your deck.

The Aquarian deck is not for everyone. Some find its watercolor palette too bland, its stylized, ethereal human figures too distant. Some find that it reminds them irredeemably of the patchouli stank of their 70's dorm room.

Still, the Aquarian’s loyal fans have kept it continuously in print for almost 50 years. Many people have told me that it was their first deck, and still their favorite. The Aquarian Tarot is an exceptional reading deck that is aligned with—but never dependent on—the Rider-Waite system of Tarot.

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/the-six-best-tarot-decks-for-beginners

[midnightluck]

HI! So, I like, disappeared off the net for a bit and come back and found all of my friends reblogging your OP stuff and holy crap do I love the way that you write ace and sabo because its so amazing and then I noticed your Icon is the Kaito Kid Character and like, please please please talk Detective Conan to me because holy crap I have not been able to find people who like that manga in forever?

Hello! It’s so nice to meet you; I like making new friends! Haha, yeah, I just kinda started tumblr recently, so, y’know, still figuring stuff out. I’m so glad you like my Ace and Sabo, though! I love these two and I wish we’d ever gotten to see them interact as adults in canon, but I am determined to make up for the lack of canon with fic, so much fic!

Kaito KID was my first love, honestly, both the character and the series. It was my first fandom, back when I’d stalk Icka M Chif’s fics and write horrible three page works with no plots or purposes. I love the series against my own personal rules, but, like, it’s KID. It means so much to me, personally. The fandom is cute and diverse, and very supportive? At least, it used to be. And it was though KID that I made my first real fandom friends, Seito and Justm3h, when we met in a different fandom entirely.

I love the kaitou/phantom thief thing, just in general. I love the fact that he’s a giant mass of contradictions that takes pleasure in causing chaos. I adore how competent everyone is, and how much Kaito lies. It’s cartoony and fun and silly, but the characters are self-aware enough to play on that (remember the ice skating getaway? Where Kaito set up a dummy one way and skated away the other way, only he can’t skate so everyone followed the dummy because “KID could never be that flaily mess”? Any time Aoko pulls out a fish?) I love the heists and Aoko being smart, and Saguru is just the best detective. Like, no, he’s better than Conan and Heiji, fight me.  Conan can’t even pretend to be a kid well, c’mon.

I love that KID randomly shows up in Conan and in the movies just because, and that there’s a massive extended universe in canon. The fact that he ended up drawing the main characters as pretty much identical isn’t even retconned; they just roll with it and make it a joke and I love it! I have so many old fics and half-written ideas and aus, and I hope to one day get around to finishing even one. Gimme a while and I’ll dig up a stupid old one about urban fantasy magic, haha.

Detective Conan…man, I’m a couple hundred chapters behind. And I don’t feel guilty because I’d put money on it mostly being filler, but also Thrill, Shock, Suspense was my ringtone for so long?

You probably wanted me to talk about headcanons and mysteries and the plot and stuff, but I’m gonna talk about KID more because of course I am. I wanna talk about him being a magician; I have complicated feels about his magic, because it’s exactly what magic should be and I hate it. Warning, rant incoming because I have Magic Feels:

Because, see, the thing about stage magic is that it has to look effortless. That’s the entire point of magic, is that it’s magic. You put in little and get out a lot, because the entire art hinges on surprise. It’s one of the most deceptive arts and also one of the most thankless, because people dismiss magic on principle these days, but in order to make it look good you have to make it look easy, and then you have to deal with audiences full of “oh I could do that” or “that’s not even hard” or “I bet it’s in his pocket; he’s just faking”. There’s no other performing art I can think of where you go in knowing half your audience is deadset against you from the get go.

So you practice. You stare into mirrors and learn what you look like from the outside. You spend hours learning palms and sleights and vanishes. You go through so much time and effort and money, because props aren’t cheap, you know? So many decks of cards, so many handkerchiefs and trick coins and thumb tips and vanishers and gimmicks, and you have to know them all, inside and out, before you can even begin to bring it to a test audience. You read books on psychology and body language and mob mentality, and you learn to lie, if only with your body. You spend months perfecting something that takes three seconds to do in a five minute routine, and you have to hide that you ever practiced it at all because magic is effortless.

And in Magic Kaito, we see that dichotomy. Kaito is more of a social improv magician, pulling tricks and illusions at the drop of a hat, and he makes it look easy. People laugh at him and joke and play along, and he’s the class clown and then he goes home and takes care of his doves, because you can’t use doves in a trick without your own cote at home and you have to train them. You can’t produce confetti without making the poppers. He has a giant magic workshop, and it’s not because it’s cool, it’s because it’s necessary (okay, the car’s just cool, though). Anyone who has that many tricks to hand daily goes through a lot of supplies, just saying. But the comic doesn’t make that obvious, either; we don’t see him sitting down for hours of practice on dragon cuts or faro shuffles or back palming; we just see him putting away a deck as he leaves. We don’t see him training his birds to be calm and quiet in dark places; we only see him feed them when it’s necessary. We don’t see him spending hours of mulching and babying his rose bushes; we only see him picking the flowers.

We are the audience in the series, and we get a glimpse of how hard magic is without exploring that, and it’s so subtext and I doubt he did it on purpose but it’s so accurate to the ideal magician and i hate it but it’s so good? Ah, that being said, though, a lot of the tricks he does are not actually possible. There’s very few things about magic produced for the media with tricks that are actually irl possible, and the only one I can think of off hand is Now You See Me.

So anyway, haha, I love Detective Conan and Magic Kaito and I will yell all about all of them because they are all amazing. I’m already working on a KID headcanon post for another ask and I meant this to be short, really I did. Sorry. Who’s your favorite character? Say your things, too! Let’s talk about these failure kids and their body-magnet powers!

[schpiedehl]

An open letter to Hamilton (etc) fan artists, Re:whitewashing

Hello. Time for another ill-constructed rant on probably already well-tread ground. Specifically whitewashing in fan art (even more specifically Hamilton art though this could be applied to any fandom) and when it is ok. lol jk it’s never ok. PLEASE NOTE: I am an (amateur) artist. I am not ragging on artists because I “don’t understand how hard making art is,” “how hard artists work,” or what have you. These are legitimate problems of representation in fanart (that I have witnessed firsthand) and this is my earnest attempt to elucidate these issues. Feel free to interact with this post as you see fit. I am always free for debate if you disagree, would like clarification, or have anything to add.  

+Look out for those embedded hyperlinks for more content 

Preface: I am a member of far too many fb Hamilton groups. Sometimes people post their art, apparently forgetting that when you post things online you open yourself to critique. Hilarity ensues.

I often see Hamilton characters (generally portrayed as original Broadway cast members - Lin-Manuel Miranda, Okieriete Onaodowan, Anthony Ramos, etc.) who have been horrifically whitewashed - complete with lightened skin, bizarrely red or light brown hair, lightened eyes, and so forth. The most common defenses for this misstep, from both artists and fans, are personal style and apparent inability to approximate accurate skin tone (“I tried but skin color is hard”). Here’s why both of those excuses are utter bullshit.

1. Personal Style:

A lot of things in life are open to interpretation and all art is inherently interpretive. But the racial and cultural identity of a real life person is not one of these interpretive things. [PAUSE: before anyone says that this is precisely what Hamilton is doing with its casting, don’t.] First of all, I get it, personal style is important to art. Some people trend toward realism while others prefer more abbreviated, abstracted, and/or cartoony styles and part of that is selecting stylized color palettes, interpreting color in new and inventive ways, and playing with light, value, line, form, etc. This is NOT what I am talking about. It is entirely possible to honor a person’s background using relative or approximated shading/tone/coloration and to create beautiful art in the process [example: Chris Vision’s color series]. This little rant is specifically directed at people who "attempt" to depict Hamilton (etc) actors/characters using realistic/semi-realistic color palettes (as in, how they appear irl, accounting for abstraction, drawing style, etc) but fall short when it comes to depicting the actors, particularly in regards to racial background. You can find excellent examples of what I mean at Calling Out Whitewashed Hamilton Art and I’m positive you can find far too many examples in this and many other fandoms simply by scrolling through the tags on Tumblr and Instagram.  So without further ado, lightening a person/character’s skin in fanart is racist. There’s really no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Foremost, the practice of editing a person of color to appear more European (skin, hair, eyes, even facial features) intentionally erases the cultural, racial, and ethnic background of the person in question. This is incredibly disrespectful to the actors who portray these characters and works to undermine what Hamilton as a whole is trying to build. If Hamilton is trying to reclaim American history for People of Color, stripping the racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds from the actors represents a rejection of conceit and, perhaps, even a form of appropriation. It is as though “fans” are saying that they want the art that is made by and for POC while simultaneously rejecting the distinctly racialized aspects of that art. When artists depict Lin!Hamilton as white, they are rejecting the Nuyorican background which Lin brings to the character in both writing and performance and projecting faux whiteness upon the character. In doing so, whether consciously or not, they are rejecting the actor’s race as well. Lin is beloved because of the art that he makes which allows many fans to look past his racial and cultural identity rather than accept it as an intrinsic aspect of both the man and his art.  Moreover, the ubiquity of this whitewashed art also reveals a lot about what “fans” find visually appealing and acceptable - e.g., the Eurocentric standard of beauty. Whitewashing in art represents not only a rejection of POC’s culture but, obviously, their physical attributes as well. Dark skin is lightened and or whitened, hair is often straightened and/or lightened to a light brown or red hue (with the exception of Laurens, whose features, hair in particular, are often feminized as a form a queer fetishization but that is a rant for another day), and features are changed to appear more European. Often, depictions of characters are changed so much it is nearly impossible to tell that the art is based on any particular actor. In addition to being, again, extremely disrespectful to the actors, this further perpetuates the extremely harmful notion that beauty only exists in European features and sends a direct message to POC fans that their appearance is neither beautiful not accepted by the fanbase of a piece of media that was made by other POC specifically to appeal to them. This seems especially true of dark skinned black individuals who are often completely stripped of the melanin in fan art, further driving home notions of ingrained cultural colorism and anti-blackness. With Hamilton in particular, it is fine to “change” a character’s race if and only if you are depicting a character as a different actor. For instance, while Lin!Hamilton is Latino, Michael!Hamilton is a black man and depicting Hamilton as such, while uncommon among fan communities, is better than fine [*the lack of art of dark skinned actors is another point of contention. Not only are dark skinned actors frequently whitewashed, many are ignored altogether]. Depicting Michael!Hamilton as light skinned or white, however, is obviously not fine.  Having established that lightening a character’s skin or depicting them with more European features is inherently racist, the claim that whitewashing is a stylistic choice is invalid. If you make the “stylistic choice” to depict a POC as white, you are racist. End of story.  And if you want to do better but find yourself wanting to draw Lin!Hamilton as white, remember that this guy existed and just draw him instead. It’s not that hard.  2. Technical Difficulties:

One of the most unfortunately common excuses for whitewashing in fanart seems to be that, for some reason or another, artists have difficulty accurately approximating actors’ skin color so they presumedly just make something up, This results in Lin!Hamilton and Phillipa!Eliza looking a bit like Snow White, Oak!Mulligan looking a little tan, and so forth. As an artist, I understand that approximating realistic skintones can be rather hard, especially with traditional mediums, but it is glaringly obvious when artists don’t put in any effort.  With traditional mediums such as paint, markers, or color pencils, artists can blend to create the colors which accurately (or as accurately as possible given the limitations of certain mediums like watercolors) approximate actors’ skin tones. If the colors dry lighter than intended, the artist generally layer and blend more to achieve a better approximation. If they then scan their image, they can use a photo editor to fix or correct any mistakes. It might not be the easiest to find good matches (speaking from experience, there aren’t a ton of good warm brown toned markers and thus a lot of blending is sometimes required) but, as previously stated, it’s generally easy to tell when someone at least tried to get close to a correct skin tone. With digital art, it’s even easier. Fact: Nearly all art programs have a nifty eyedropper tool which can be used to pull color swatches directly from a reference picture. Even MSpaint has this function. By pulling multiple swatches from a variety of reference images (to account for different lighting conditions), an artist can build a relatively accurate gradiented palette for skin tone. It’s really that simple! And if an artist notices that the color isn’t quite right, it’s nothing a few tweaks to hue and saturation can’t fix!  If my tone seemed a bit sarcastic/passive aggressive in that last paragraph, it’s because it totally was. I see this excuse so much more often than I see any other excuse for whitewashed fan art and it is incredibly frustrating but also, as an (extraordinarily mediocre) artist myself, it rings incredibly inaccurate, especially for digital art. I completely understand that it sometimes takes a lot of time to get used to a medium but when an artist’s color palette is literally limitless, there is absolutely no reason (aside from personal, possibly subconscious/implicit but no less real, biases) for an actor/character to be depicted as white/light skinned when they are not. As previously discussed, that is disrespectful and harmful, and really only serves to make the artist (and those that support work) look like a jackass.  And look, if you find yourself making whitewashed art, it’s not as though it is impossible to change. When someone criticizes your whitewash-y art, don’t get defensive. Don’t claim that it’s your style or that you don’t know how to color POC. It looks and sounds really fucking ridiculous. Instead, evaluate your art and place it into a cultural context. Take it as an opportunity to improve. And maybe also take the opportunity to learn a little about yourself and your biases.  This wasn’t meant to be a call out post and I’d like to end this on a positive note so here are a few wonderful Hamilton fan artists who are worth a look:  terror-in-a-dream zzzoehsu linmanwhydididothis mikiprice thegentlehoneybee dorothywonderland maeng

[tootdump]

Character Design Lesson

Assignments I’ve found online:

From Cedric’s Blog-O-Rama

Lesson 1: Fat Joe

You are to design a concept sketch of Fat Joe based on the play, The Long Voyage Home. Take it as far as you like. Description: SCENE—The bar of a low dive on the London water front—a squalid, dingy room dimly lighted by kerosene lamps placed in brackets on the walls At the far end of the bar stands Fat Joe, the proprietor, a gross bulk of a man with an enormous stomach. His face is red and bloated, his little piggish eyes being almost concealed by rolls of fat. The thick fingers of his big hands are loaded with cheap rings and a gold watch chain of cable-like proportions stretches across his checked waistcoat.

Lesson 2: Silhouettes

Our assignment was to take Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, and fill a page with little thumbnail silhouettes. We were told to play with shapes, trying to find a simple and clear design for the character. The good thing about doing fast little thumbnails is it forces you to think in broad, general terms and not get hung up on the details. When you are just concerned with the overall shape, your thought process can flow and brainstorm. The goal isn’t to do terrific sketches, its to get a lot of ideas onto the paper so that later you can develop the best ones. It’s a great exercise and I highly recommend it. In the future I hope to make it part of my process when designing characters for clients projects.

Lesson 3: Portrait Study

We were given photos of four different men. First, we had to do a straight-forward sketch of the person, not really pushing the shapes or getting too cartoony. Just do a standard portrait. Then, after finishing the portrait sketch, immediately put it away and get rid of the photo. From memory, draw the person again using three different shapes: a circle, a square, and a triangle.

The goal was not to do a dead-on likeness and squeeze it into the shape, because that would be almost impossible. Rather, we were to take the features that defined that person (i.e. eyes wide apart, big chin, small pointy nose, whatever) and play with those features within the shapes to create three new characters.

Lesson 4: Jekyll and Hyde

Last week we were told to choose one of two stories (Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, or Oliver Twist), and start thinking about designs for the main characters. Our first step was to fill up at least one page with thumbnail silhouettes of possible designs, thinking about what we could say about the character with just the overall shape. Stephen then critiqued our thumbnails and told us which ones were the strongest. As the course progresses, we will continue to develop our character(s).

Lesson 5: Hand-y Drawing Exercise

Part 1 was to sketch a page of hands.

Next to the face, the hands are the most expressive part of the body, and therefore one of the most important features in any drawing. Its easy to get lazy with the hands, because they can be so stinkin’ hard to draw. I think there are two reasons so many artists struggle:

1. Hands are incredibly complex. I think there’s something like 27 bones in the hand and 15 joints, not to mention all the little muscles, tendons, etc.

2. Hands are always moving, and they can move a zillion different ways. There is no “standard” hand pose.

Stephen spent a significant portion of his video lecture analyzing the hand and pointing out how to break it down into manageable parts to make it easier to draw. Then he told us to go draw a page of hands, using either our own hands or photos for reference.

Lesson 6: Jekyll and Hyde Clean-Up

Our assignment was to choose one design from our “Jeckyll and Hyde” work and ink it up. Inking is not my strong point, especially digital inking on the Cintiq. The Cintiq is superbly fabulous and awesome….except when it comes to inking. I just can’t seem to get the same line quality that I could on paper, which makes my lines look even more mediocre than they normally would be. Maybe I just need to practice it more.

As part of the class, Stephen gives each student one-on-one feedback on their assignments via internet video. Here’s some pointers he’s given me on my assignments, which I tried to incorporate into this final design:

• Watch out for “parallels” (lines and/or shapes in the design that run parallel to each other).

• Push your shapes more. Use more extreme angles, greater size contrasts, broader curves, etc.

• Work on thinking through the understructure of the drawing (especially in your legs and hands). Don’t just use blobby shapes, make sure there is a real skeleton with real muscles underneath.

• Keep your sizes/proportions consistent (i.e. both hands the same size, both arms the same length, etc.)

• Let your design “breathe”. Pull your arms and legs out and away from the body for clearer poses. Spread out your facial features more (I tend to bunch them up a bit).

Lesson 7: Turnarounds

This week’s assignment was to do rough turnarounds of our character.

In animation, once a character design is approved the next step is to create “turnaround” drawings. The purpose is to make sure the storybaord artists, animators, and/or computer modellers can re-create the character accurately. Turnarounds are a tedious but essential part of any character designer’s job. For major characters, there are generally four to five drawings that need to be done: Front View, 3/4 Front View, Side View, 3/4 Back View, and/or Back View. For minor characters, usually only a Front 3/4 View and a Back 3/4 View are needed.

Turnarounds can be quite challenging. It’s relatively easy to do just one drawing of a character. But drawing the same character from other angles can complicate things. The most common difficulty for the artist is making sure that the character looks appealing and consistent from all angles. Easier said than done.

Turnarounds will also reveal any flaws or weakneses in the design. You may sketch a character that looks great from the side view, but draw him again from the front view and he may suddenly flatten out and get boring.

A good designer must also think about functionality. In animation a character can have crazy proportions, but he/she must still be able to act expressively and perform common tasks. For example, did you know Charlie Brown can only touch his nose if you look at him from the front? If you look at him from the side, his arms are too short to reach around his big head.

The best way to do turnarounds is to start with a 3/4 view and then spin him around in your mind to get the other views.

Lesson 8: Attitudes and Expressions

This week’s lesson was all about model sheets, specifically attitudes and expressions.

A “model sheet” is a page of drawings that animators and storyboard artists will use as a guide when animating a character. A good model sheet will give a sense of both the personality of the character (i.e. how does he react to certain situations?) and the physicality of the character (i.e. how does he walk, move, etc.).

Our assignment was to create a model sheet for our character, consisting of two parts:

1. Six standard expressions (anger, surprise, sadness, happiness, fear, and disgust);

2. Two full-body attitude drawings, which could be whatever we wanted. The only rule was that they give a sense of the character’s personality and/or response to a given situation. I chose to depict Dr. Jeckyll before and after drinking the potion that transforms him into a big, ugly, hulking monster.

Lesson 9: The Importance of Sketchbooks

We had to go to a busy public place and fill a page with observational sketches. The Mall of America is near my house, so I went there to sketch the above page.

I can’t over-emphasize the importance of keeping a daily sketchbook. The only way to get better at drawing is to draw. As Stephen likes to say, “A page a day keeps the competition away”.

A sketchbook isn’t for polished drawings. Rather, it’s a private place where you can stay loose, experiment, stretch yourself, and make mistakes. Lots of them! (Mistakes are the best teachers). If you want to keep growing as an artist, the worst thing you can do is fill your sketchbook with things you already know how to draw.

Going to a busy place to draw real live people is something you should do regularly. (Stephen fills a page every day over his lunch hour). Most people don’t sit still for very long, so it forces you to stay loose, think fast and make bold decisions, which over time will increase your confidence. Don’t sweat the details; focus on the essence of a pose (which can usually be captured in just a few lines). Try to capture the overall physical attitude of the person, which is the foundation that breathes life into a drawing. You can always go back and flesh out the details later.

In his lecture, Stephen talked about what a character designer should focus on as he sketches the people around him (i.e. balance, gesture, line of action, negative space, rhythm, attitude, etc.) He also talked about not just seeing, but studying what you draw. Observe the different ways people walk, talk, and gesture. Notice body types, hairstyles, and clothing choices. Study how fabric clings and hangs around the body, how people position their legs when they sit, how they lean when they carry things, how their posture changes with their attitude (i.e. excited, bored, annoyed, etc.) These are the things that give your drawings personality and character.

Stephen also talked about “frankensteining”, that is, assembling parts of several people into one character. You might start to draw a man reading the paper, but as soon as you rough in his body pose he gets up to leave. Don’t abandon your drawing. Add the profile from another person, maybe the hair from a third person, etc. Frankensteining keeps you from getting frustrted when your models keep moving (or leaving) in mid-drawing, and you might be pleasantly surprised at the new character you’ve created.

The point is that you keep drawing, keep experimenting, keep learning.

Lesson 10: Memory Sketching

“Memory sketching” is an exercise designed to strengthen your observation muscles. It works like this:

Go to a place where there are a lot of people (i.e. a mall, airport, coffee shop, etc.). Choose someone in the crowd to draw. Before you pick up your pencil, spend a few moments studying everything about them (their clothing, their posture, their face, the way they do their hair, their height….everything). Don’t look at them for longer than one or two minutes. If they haven’t walked away by then, turn and face the other direction.

Now, close your eyes and continue to study them in your mind. Analyze as much as you can remember. What was that hairstyle again? How far apart were the eyes? What color were the shoes? What was with that funny walk? (Don’t peek. It will completely destroy the purpose of the exercise.)

Finally, when you’ve got your target burned into your brain and you’ve thought everything through, THEN pick up your pencil to draw. And again, no peeking.

Lesson 11: Fat Joe

Our very first assignment was to design a character based on Fat Joe from the play The Long Voyage Home. We were given this description:

SCENE—The bar of a low dive on the London water front—a squalid, dingy room dimly lighted by kerosene lamps placed in brackets on the walls At the far end of the bar stands Fat Joe, the proprietor, a gross bulk of a man with an enormous stomach. His face is red and bloated, his little piggish eyes being almost concealed by rolls of fat. The thick fingers of his big hands are loaded with cheap rings and a gold watch chain of cable-like proportions stretches across his checked waistcoat.

Now, nine weeks later, we were asked to return to that assignment and do it again, this time with clean-up and color. Since this was our last class, it was a chance to apply everything we’d learned.

[jaredthegreek]

Review - Secret Empire, June Part 2

THE SECOND ROUND OF JUNE MADNESS

Things got delayed due to the holiday and Anime Expo, but here it is the second half of June’s Secret Empire comics.  This time around it wasn’t a fun batch, but there were a couple fun stories. Overall, I really wish this wasn’t such a long event.  Not much happens issue to issue and once you get past the shock factor of this stupid concept there really isn’t much else going on.  While there is the chance that there will be a big exciting payoff for all this, I really doubt it will make up for the difficulty of sticking with this event.  However, until that time please enjoy my thoughts on several more comics in this never ending event.

Secret Empire: Brave New World 2: Three new stories come to fill in some gaps in the saga.  The first story follows Shaun as he Mary Sue’s his way into the role of the new Patriot. This character has been sulking about the event and previous stories and finally got his chance to be a hero.  I’d care far more if he felt like a real character. The second story is a comedy adventure with Bob Agent of Hydra as he battles an inhuman.  It’s a nice diversion and far better than the previous issue’s comedy story.  The final story is a follow up to the Invaders story from the previous issue.  The time a rebel attack sends Namor and his troops into chaos while the prisoners attempt to escape.  Overall this was a better issue than the previous one, but the art can be a little mixed.  The Bob story is short and the art a little bland, while the faces in the Invaders story are generally ridiculous.  Despite the flaws this was a fine issue, but this mini-series isn’t really worth reading yet.

Secret Empire #5: It’s hard to not judge a book by its cover when the art is weird and disproportionate and the credits make me want to scream out in rage.  The story jumps around all over the place and at times can be hard to follow.  Black Widow is ‘captured’ while the Underground try to get more of the fragments, and the Mutants are doing some shady things behind the scenes.  The ending comes with an attack on the Underground and a dumb reveal about the strange shadowy place that keeps popping up in the story.  The art team is made up of a large group this time around making this comic a bizarre reading experience due to the style changing every three or so pages.  The series just gets worse and worse as it continues.  The art is falling apart, the story is too convoluted for its own good and finishing an issue makes me feel like I wasted a chuck of my life.  

Amazing Spider-Man 29: Another comic that feels like it should have been released in May.  The story begins prior to the events of Secret Empire with Peter Parker giving an interview about the recent events in his series.  This is followed by the attacks starting and Spider-Man facing off with the Superior Octopus.  The writing is strong as both Otto and Peter are written with wit and humor.  The art is also great and makes the fight very intense. It’s nice to see the first showdown between Otto and Peter after everything that has happened, but tying it into Secret Empire means that things will be dragging for a bit.  This is a good issue overall, but I’m concerned about the direction of the story.

Occupy Avengers 8: This is an odd side story and sadly not really worth reading.  The story follows Hawkeye’s team as they protect famers during the Hydra occupation. This leads them into coming up with a bigger plan to strike back.  The writing is pretty weak.  This book is filled with weak banter, terrible jokes, and some stereotypical dialogue.  None of the characters are memorable and the only saving grace of this story is that it shows a different side of this war.  The art is serviceable, but nothing special.  This is a skippable story, but it isn’t necessarily a terrible story, just weak.  

USAvengers 7: This is such a fun book and this story would work whether there was an event or not.  The battle against the mind controlled Red Hulk begins and things get out of hand really quick.  To explain anything beyond that would spoil the fun surprises in this issue.  The dialogue is great, the battles are fun, and the whole experience of reading USAvengers is a treat.  The art is also great, especially when it cuts to Squirrel Girl explaining part of the story with silly stylized drawings.  This is one of the rare books that makes me happy to be reading this event.

Doctor Strange 22: Thankfully this is better than the previous Strange issue, but it still drags on with terrible jokes and bad action movie dialogue. Doctor Strange and his crew team up with Kingpin to find some new magic McGuffins to break their way out of the darkforce dome.  It takes a long time to move forward and the ending is cliché.  The art is mostly good, but the facial expressions are terrible. It is possible this will be an important story in the course of this event, but it isn’t a fun read.  If thse tie in issues are any indication of how this series normally rolls then you would be best off avoiding this series and reading some of the previous, better, Doctor Strange comic book runs.

Captain America: Steve Rogers 18: This story fills in a bit more around the Atlantis timeline of events. setting the ‘Brave New World’ story prior to this and Secret Empire #4 right at the end of this issue.  The story is almost non-existent with Namor reflecting on his actions and Steve Rogers give a long winded, but empty speech at the UN.  The art is fine except for some of the faces and tensed muscle close ups that just look silly.  This is a good tie-in story due to actually adding to the main storyline and while it is a little bland it isn’t that bad of an issue.

Mighty Captain Marvel 6: The story continues with the team trying to find a way to communicate with people back on Earth.  The rest of the issue ties into the lack of morale and supplies that are slowly plaguing the Ultimates team.  The writing is great and it makes you feel for the team as they deal with this war of attrition.  Adding to that the great art and you have a wonderful book that I can’t wait to see  this series get past this event and tell unique stories.  This is well worth the read even if you have given up on Secret Empire as a whole.

Secret Empire Underground #1: This should be the last of the one-shots, though why each of these were not placed into a single series showing different sides of the war is anyone’s guess.  Like the previous reviews of the one-shot tie-in stories I don’t let the stupid numbering influence my review.  This is the full story of the Underground going to the Savage Land which is synopsized in the 5th issue os the main series.  The writing is good and the banter is fun as the team tries to get the cosmic cube shard from the rulers of the Savage land.  The art has a more cartoonish slant to it, which works for the mostly silly adventure.  This is a humorous side story that does flesh out part of the main series making this a great read for completionists.  

All-New Guardians of the Galaxy Annual 1: Wow, that was a whole bunch of pointless.  The story follows the Guardians as they team up with Yondu to find a weapon that can break the barrier around Earth, spoiler they don’t.  While the dialogue is enjoyable, but this isn’t all that entertaining of a story because you already know how it will end since this is a tie-in book and not part of the main saga.  It feels more like a side-story from the movies than a part of the Secret Empire event. The art is fine with a cartoony style, but the action is very static.  Overall, this is a waste of time whether you are reading the New Guardians or if you are reading Secret Empire.