#im not the problem

[theereina]

I'm not the problem, but I'm not the solution either. I'm an unknown variable that is subject to change.

*Take this how you want to take it.

[gardenlilgnome]

//Introvert struggles

My job made me realize that socializing and having to speak to ppl for more than 2 mins just isn't for me. I literally can't do it. My already short temper only decreases when I'm around other ppl. They don't understand what I mean and there I am, having to explain while they look at me with that expression that makes me look like I'm in the wrong. I like to prepare things. I like to organize everything. But I hate having to talk to the patients bc it means I'll have to smile and pretend I give a shit abt them.

There are things they didn't teach me and I was the one who had to deal with everyone pointing out my mistakes. Having ppl telling me over and over again that “ofc it's like that” makes me feel so fucking stupid. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. Stop saying that, I already got it. So pls just shut the fuck up. I felt so humiliated and like crying.

The amount of times I felt extremely overwhelmed and wanted to hit someone or break something is something that surprises me bc I've been isolated for so long. I never had this problem unless I was surrounded by ppl. I hate all of you. You make me feel on edge bc I'm scared of making a mistake and get scolded and then fired. I'm scared of the time that I'll be hitting someone in the face with a plate bc they just pissed me off. Can u believe that I've been getting the urge to hurt myself again.

I want a job that doesn't require me to talk with others. A street cleaner in a city that I like. No one would talk to me, I'd make the city a cleaner place. That sounds so good. I hate being alone, but I've accepted the fact that I'd much rather be alone my entire life than filled with a rage that I won't be able to get rid of.

[aroacedavestrider]

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

[pinklavenderdoll]

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

[idontevenknowmyself]

Συνήθως λένε "και αν το πρόβλημα δεν είναι οι άλλοι αλλά εγώ?" Πάντα έτσι σκεφτόμουν και φτάνω να καταλαβαίνω ότι ο μόνος λόγος που ειμαι εγώ το πρόβλημα είναι γιατι τους παίρνω τις μετρητής και δεν τους γράφω στα αρχιδια μου.

Γιατί όλη μου την ζωή την πέρασα να κάνω τα δικά τους τα χατίρια. Να δουλεύω για αυτούς. Να αναπνέω για αυτούς και δεν έχω κάνει ΤΊΠΟΤΑ για εμένα.

Για να γυρίσουν να με σχολιάσουν ως εγωίστρια, εγωκεντρική, διπολική, ότι κάνω πάντα ότι συμφέρει εμένα..

Πότε? Πες μ��υ ΜΙΑ φορά. Σε προκαλώ να μου πεις ΜΙΑ φορά που έκανα κάτι για το δικό μου συμφέρον και όχι των άλλων!! Δεν έχεις δικαίωμα να με κρίνεις. Δεν με ξέρεις καν! Και ούτε πρόκειται να με μάθεις!

Έπρεπε να γίνω 22 για να καταλάβω ότι όχι. Το πρόβλημα δεν είμαι εγώ. Είναι όλοι οι άλλοι. Γιατί κανένας τους δεν ασχολήθηκε αρκετα για να με μάθει και να καταλάβει πως λειτουργώ.

Όχι λοιπόν. Δεν είμαι εγώ το πρόβλημα. Ποτέ δεν ήμουν. Για αυτό πρέπει να σταματήσω να νιώθω τύψεις για τις πράξεις των άλλων. Γιατί δεν τις έκανα εγώ. Δεν ευθύνομαι εγώ για τις δικές τους επιλογές και φιλοδοξίες. Ούτε ευθύνομαι εγώ αν τους "απογοητεύσω" γιατί δεν πάτησα στην εικόνα που αυτοί ήθελαν και είχαν σχηματίσει για εμένα.

Το πρόβλημα δεν είμαι εγώ. Είναι όλοι οι άλλοι. Και ας είναι ολόκληρος ο κόσμος!

Χρόνια μου πολλά. Χαρούμενα 22.

[hinamie]

mentor

[cinnamongirlsdiary]

like it’s so awkward :|

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[the-messy-artist]

Has this been done yet

[stars-and-branches]

Chronic pain pisses me off cause I'm not even incapacitated for like a cool or badass reason instead my body is throwing the world's biggest temper tantrum because it's raining outside

[de8dly]

they should invent a form of self harm where no one notices or gives a fuck

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[liaprinces]

ur my little sparkle jump rope queen ♡ ⋆𝜗𝜚 .♱𝅼

[irhabiya]

another campaign brought to my attention by a palestinian i speak personally with, and i trust its legitamcy. Hamdy has suffered great loss since the start of this genocide, his mother, aunt, siblings, cousins, neices and nephews, and 5 month old sister were martyred. despite making the campaign months ago, Hamdy has only received FIVE donations so far, and hasn't gotten any donations in months.

please share and donate to his campaign, no amount is too little!

€95 / €10,000

tagging for reach

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