#im just. i’m so emotional
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thank you red vs blue. you were the greatest show ever, of all time.
#i posted this on instagram already and got pretty emotional about it#but i just wanna say here that im so grateful to have experienced this show while it lasted#and i’m so lucky to have experienced it with all of you#thank you#rvb#red vs blue#rvb restoration#rvb19#agent texas#allison church#kaikaina grif#michael j caboose#lavernius tucker#agent washington#leonard church#agent carolina#richard simmons#franklin delano donut#rvb doc#rvb lopez#art#drawing#artists on tumblr#artist#fanart#digital art#rvb fanart#rooster teeth#red vs blue restoration
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SOBS AND CRIES AND SHAKES IN MY LITTLE BOOTS AAAAAA I LOVE THEM SO SO SO SO MUCH KAY YOU HAVE NO IDEA
Artfight attack on @sinnabee’s BEAUTIFUL OCS Kate Winthrop and Pikko :D I love them so so so very much
I went n had fun trying out a gradient map for this one and it’s making me want to create more gradient presets just for funsies ., and as a surprise tool that’ll help us later ;))
#FUCKING S O B S#UWAAAAGAHHAGAHAGA#AAAAAAAA#im just. i’m so emotional#they are literally PERFECT#every single thing about them EVERY SINGLE THING#RRRRAAAAAA#artfight 2023#artfight#other people’s art#kay art#my ocs#kate#pikko
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The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy
#This is something to bring up to the therapist for sure bc im not perfect on this yet#and i think that’s also another thing im learning to be less hard on myself for — just realizing im 21 and that having insecurities or weak#Spots still is literally okay. Making mistakes is okay. I beat myself up for this too much#I am not a horrible person for being young & learning how to live & no one will make me feel otherwise#This goes in the other direction too in the sense that I need to stop being apologetic of my accomplishments for fear of#Triggering other people’s insecurities. That is not and nor will it ever be my responsibility#I’m always going to be graceful w other people’s emotions but I’m no longer going to overcompensate bc it helps no one#And is not a marker of love for me to do so
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Out of my element here but
Appreciation post for those orv fans that dissect the story, analyze scenes, share their theories and perspectives here on Tumblr
It’s really cool to see how orv looks from your guys’s perspectives and realizing what some scenes meant
Heck, I believed Kdj’s narrative during the webnovel until the fandom woke me up and handed me depression word soup :)
Personally I can’t really put into words what I think and feel- being able to come across posts where it’s put into words just makes my day
Seeing the orv fandom share endless commentaries of the story, their reactions, alternate universe takes, theories and fanart- it all makes it feel like orv never really ended
But yeah, thank you
(Sorry if the post looked long, I didn’t like how the sentences touched, it looked too squished)
#this might be more like trauma bonding#being in denial that the story ended the way it did#like fanning a dying flame to keep it alive#this could be mourning or something#but it may not be that deep#I’m probably just emotional rn#so please excuse me for the word vomit and the involuntary cringe this might’ve caused#orv#kim dokja#omniscient reader's viewpoint#yoo joonghyuk#orv kdj#orv yjh#kdj orv#yjh#kdj#im probably taking this down it’s making myself cringe but know I’m still thankful for you all#and for being part of this shared experience that is called orv
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Loke is the kind of guy to get on his knees and wail to God, “Why must our women suffer?!” He’d cry with one hand clawing at his chest while the other beats at the ground.
I love Gray, Lucy and Loke (also Cana, she’s here in spirit). The imagery and energy that they all share together makes me so happy. They’re all in-love and that alternates between romantic and platonic depending on the mood.
This entire post was inspired by @u1tear and the description on their post ‘hot girl and two bi guys with homoerotic overtones’. If we add in Cana then its just a group of bi losers.
#llee’s shit :)#fairy tail fanart#lucy heartfilia#gray fullbuster#loke fairy tail#gray x lucy x loke#graylu#lolu#groke#gray x loke#i cant get them out of my head#im plagued by visions#and emotions#i cant find fanfics so i have to write them myself#i regret to admit that these are all just scene and official art redraws#minus the graylu on top left#I’m in the middle of exams right now and cant function
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I hear your “I’m so excited for tlovm season 2! It’s going to be so fun!” and I raise you “The central theme of this season is bone-deep crushing guilt and grief”
#to be clear this is NOT at all a complaint#im so ready for the emotional damage that's going to ensue aaaAAA#how will they adapt certain moments that completely altered my brian chemistry? will they make me cry just like they did in the campaign?#who fucking knows!! we’re living la vida loca in a world where nothing bad ever happens before season 2 drops#but i watched the cast interviews and everyone is like ‘haha yeah my character’s main conflict is the bone deep guilt they grapple with!’#and i’m just sitting here like 👁️👄👁️#for a moment i gaslit myself into thinking this season was just percahlia and grog and craven edge sitcom and zahra and kash smh#critical role#tlovm#the legend of vox machina#tlovm season 2#tlovm s2#lovm#legend of vox machina#vox machina#andis thought geyser
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hot take i guess but when i watch the scene with billy and agatha where she finds out for sure he’s billy maximoff and starts tearing up, i perceive it as being bc she’s still a bit (read: significantly) heartbroken that he isn’t nicky. he isn’t hers. sure, she might’ve known from the beginning to some degree that he was wanda’s, but she doesn’t know for sure. we see that every time she panics because he’s hurt. we see that in the way she refused to leave his side when he was asleep. we see that when rio herself has to shake agatha out of it, saying, “agatha… that boy isn’t yours.” like YES logically i think she knew he wasn’t nicky, that he couldn’t be but we CAN see how painfully, hopelessly desperate agatha is to think that maybe he could be. so in my mind, she sees billy maximoff standing in front of her, finally being met with indisputable proof that he could not possibly be her lost son. how could she not tear up at that?
#idk#i’ve just been seeing a lot of edits and posts ab this scene#where people are using it to be like Oh Wow look at how much she cares about billy! she really does love him!#and i just…#i don’t think that’s wrong necessarily and i do think on some level she prob does care for billy even as he truly is#but i do NOT think the truly cares that much about wanda’s children#and i also really can’t see her being an aunt figure to him at all#a mentor? friend maybe?? a kid she’s werurdly attached to bc he reminds her of the song she lost centuries ago?? probably#*weirdly *son UGH#but i don’t think she cares bc she’s like. reminicising on the time they spent together in westview yknow?#she literally called tommy toby like im sorry but she don’t give a fuck 😭#but also to be fair i do think a large part of the climax of this show and the point of it#is going to come down to agatha continuing to develop an emotional connection with him#and i do ultimately think their relationship will be so vital and pivotal to the plot and both of their arcs#i just unfortunately cannot seem to interpret it the way a lot of you are i’m sorry#agatha all along#agatha harkness#billy maximoff#william kaplan#wiccan#kathryn hahn#joe locke#nicholas scratch#wandavision#wanda maximoff#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#marvel mcu
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fiona gallagher // "i bet on losing dogs" by mistki
#fiona gallagher#shameless#fiona and her kids#fiona and monica#parentification#fiona gallagher’s childhood#parentified child#ami weaves a web#another sad fiona edit sorry!!!! SORRY#except not sorry. not really. lol#i have had this rattling around my head for days just needed to put it out there#mistki#mitski lyrics#making myself sad with this one folks!#also oh my god this was so hard to color match sorry if the editing looks shitty#EVERYTHING FROM SEASONS 1-3 ARE BRIGHT YELLOW AND EVERYTHING ONWARDS IS TWILIGHT BLUE KICKING AND SCREAMING#WHYYYYY#anyways!#particularly emotional about this fi and debbie scene oh goddd the way she’s cupping her cheek just makes me want to cry#GOD I JUST ..#TELL YOUR BABY THAT IM YOUR BABY !!!!!!!!!#i bet on losing dogs is just SO fiona gallagher coded#but also?? ELDEST DAUGHTER CODED IN GENERAL#GODDDDD#i always want you when i’m finally fine too#for a while i’m just. this is okay. everything is fine. and then BAM#I WANT TO BE MY PARENTS CHILD AGAIN PLEASEEEEE PLEASE PLEASE LEKALSLLLSLSLSLKDDK LET ME BE YOUR BABY !!!!!!!#PLEEASASSEREEEEEEEE#SOBBING AND CRYINF
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the indecision between ‘i love this character and i want them to be happy/i want to see more of them’ and ‘it would be most narratively compelling/intriguing if they died or otherwise were (mysteriously) never seen or heard from again’
#peach rambles#this is about ava kingdomhearts#like i’m absolutely positive we’re seeing her again in the next arc#but also the way she just sort of quietly disappeared after the war#and how she’s such a mysterious suspicious character with legions of those who adore and trust her#esp ephemer and co#and yet. girl what were you doing in the war. ‘some things aren’t for you to know.’#OOH. super super interesting. then she’s just Gone and luxu’s little quip in kh3 does not help us much#like im sure we’ll find our answers soon but in the meantime i kinda love the resonance of the mystery#like the idea that she just quietly died after the war or otherwise went down with daybreak town back in the past#it does something to me#maybe it’s just me but even between the same scenes recreated in khux chibi vs the full animation#it feels like ava comes off as so much sweeter in back cover than in ux#like even knowing what her canon voice sounds like. reading her lines in ux she doesn’t sound that sugary to me in my head#she never seems to smile or emote much in ux#makes her that much more unsettling#they’re so confident she couldn’t possibly have been involved in strelitzia’s death. and yeah they were right but like.#they could easily have been wrong
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therapy
#personal#vent#comic#im fine rn btw im just reflecting#Working thru all my issues alone is starting to feel like a larger task than its worth though#I was able to largely deal w one big trauma recently after 4 years and I was rly proud of myself for that bc I did it alone#So Like I’m not even saying I can’t work thru my issues by myself#But like. Maybe I shouldn’t have to yk#Like the truth is I like myself a lot and I don’t like watching myself suffering as weird as that sounds#So maybe I need to take initiative for once instead of putting myself thru awful shit waiting to work it out#But also I’d have to talk to my parents bc therapy isn’t cheap and I’m still on their insurance afaik#And everytime I’ve talked to them about therapy it’s been like this 😭 they don’t deal with emotions well at all#And there’s never a good time to bring it up
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just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount
branwen
- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall
- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.
- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.
- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.
- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.
- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.
boaz
- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle
- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.
- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.
- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.
- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.
- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella
ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry
#i’m at the gym for the first time since my od and ouugghh i’m so emotional#it’s 2am aslo. ouu they haunt me#i love thinking about them being silly little domestic cowboys#and just going on dates and riding their little horsies#my fav horse girls !1!!11!1!1!! even tho javi isn’t a horse girl really but in my heart he is cuz kieran loves trail rides#and so javieran go on trail rides a lot as well as “’riding into town’ as an excuse to get out of camp together#javier is so good at listening he truly learned the art of shutting up when he couldn’t speak english and also was learning in america that#he really should trust sparingly because the new world was so incredibly hostile to him from the start simply for being who he was and where#he came from#so he’s such a great active listener and while it’s kinda a trauma response it also works very well for javierans relationship because kiera#has never in his life ever felt important or safe or like anything he said mattered to anyone so perfect brilliant ‘i’m listening go on’ jab#vier makes kieran feel so loved and heard in ways he’s never ever in his life experienced and javi takes them fishing and riding and to the#stables constantly because he’s LISTENED to kieran and kieran never has to ask to do something he wants to do because javi’s already HEARD h#im (and he also knows kieran would never ask for anything first ever because he never feels like he deserves anything at all. nor even feels#safe enough to dare).#and javier gets his cake and eats it too when kieran asks and asks and asks because kieran cares about EVERYTHING right from the getgo beau#se unlike javier kieran has been entirely unable to turn his heart off at all in any capacity so he loves and loves ans loves against his wi#ll so javier has been so adored from the start because kieran can’t HELP it so he gets him gifts and learns things for him and javi just as#much never has to ask for much other than courage from kieran. ever. can anyone hear me is anyone lidtening ouuu#ok enough sorry they make me so emptipnal#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javieran#kieran duffy#javier escuella#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s waxing poetry again#i think that was the tag ¿#im gonna throw up i miss them so bad they’re everything to me oouuggyuuuy
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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,
#started typing out a long soppy post as i’m emotional rn but decided otherwise#i just want to say thank you to the community really#this is by far the nicest community i have ever had the pleasure of being part of#and i’ve always had imposter syndrome i guess and other fandoms only amplified that and made me feel beyond useless#and i’ve always had the misfortune of only being known as ‘[person]’s friend’ or ‘[person]’s mutual’ etc#and never as just my own person i guess#and i kind of got used to that? i got used to people only communicating with me to get to someone else - usually someone with more clout-#or followers or whatever#and ngl part of that still fucking stings#and is partly why i joined this community completely anonymous#like i am just anonymous community member fitpacs with nothing more than pronouns#and the fact i have managed to make friends and connections in this community even with that - it astounds me#and it means the absolute fucking world#i’ve never had the feeling of complete acceptance in an online sphere (i’ve dealt with irl aspects in therapy dw im fine)#so i just want to say thank you for accepting me wholly and completely in this community (q/smpblr/ratinhos/huevitos)#i honestly wasn’t expecting the warm welcome because of past fandoms#and i don’t know how ive managed to have such a wholesome experience honestly but thank you#thank you for reading my fics and my shitposts and sending kind anons (remember ‘fitpacs appreciation day’?!)#just thank you for accepting me for me and not expecting anything in return#i may regret posting this tomorrow but oh well#thank you for accepting anonymous community member fitpacs and expecting nothing in return - it means the world to me and then some
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THEY TARGETED CHUCK BECAUSE THATS ALL ORANGE HAS LEFT :((((
#NOW HE HAS NOTHING IM#HE WAS JUST SLIGHTLY TOO LATE#guys i’m so emotional about this can u tell#aew#orange cassidy#chuck taylor#best friends
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Autism is my superpower
#dragon quest 11#dragon quest#dqxi#Erik#jade#Serena#luminary#Sylvia do#im so sooo sad I got to act three already and I’m so emotional like I don’t want the adventure to end….#maybe I’ll just 100 it again that will take me a good bit#also context for the one comic I think the luminary went mute after coming back from Heliodor so I think he signs!#I want to draw him signing more#good drawing practice for hands
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“And I mean, hell. If you’re have to live the rest of your life in a memory… ya might as well make it a good one.”
#RvB#Red vs Blue#red vs blue the recollection#RvB the recollection#rvb church#guess who finished season 3#no spoilers for project freelancer btw I’m gonna bawl my eyes out and then watch it#I am so glad im going in this blind#like yeah. some of it didn’t age well but dear GOD this was so good#AND THE FIGHT SCENES???? TEXAS KICKING ASS???#she was making sure griff was the last of his legacy dear god#AND THE GLACIER BOMB TRAP SCENE MADE ME LOOSE MY SHIT she is my favorite#it’s moments like this that make me proud to be a Texan#god. and. just everything. SARGE’S DAMN SPEEECH i was so convinced he was going to die and I was gonna lose it.#the griff death fake out gave me a heart attack. AND SIMMON’S REACTION TOO LIKE BRO WAS SAD#AND. GOD. HE (church) REALLY DOES CARE. HE’S WILLING TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH THESE GUYS WHILE WAITING FOR TEX. ur honor im. emotional
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