#and the fact i have managed to make friends and connections in this community even with that - it astounds me

[fitpacs]

,

[asidian]

I've seen a lot of really excellent analysis on Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession, but there's a huge aspect that I haven't seen talked about at all yet. And that is, namely:

Charles Rowland is a people-pleaser.

Doesn't seem like there's a connection there, does it? Have a seat, my friends. Let me break this down.

The show lays the groundwork for this aspect of Charles' personality early. It's one of the very first things we learn about him, in fact. He's kind and agreeable and helpful, and he's always, always smiling. When Crystal insults him, he laughs it off. When Crystal and Edwin fight, he scrambles to diffuse the situation. He calls himself "a good sort of a chap," and it's important to him that he is.

In episode 3, we find out why. At home, love was always conditional for him. He spent his entire life trying to please his father, and he confesses to Crystal that no matter how nice he was, or how good at sports, it was never enough. That's how Charles sees the world. If he can make people happy, he might actually be good enough for them to love him.

Not only didn't he earn his father's affection, he didn't even manage, in his own eyes, to clear the low bar of being good enough to earn the privilege of not being hurt. And his mother, he says, was "quiet." From the flashback we see, she never stepped in for him or defended him. However hard he was trying, it wasn't enough to get her to intervene on his behalf.

So who else does he have? His "friends"? The ones who literally murder him when he steps in to stop them from doing a terrible thing? The act he put on wasn't enough to win them over in the end, either. However friendly he was, however personable, they turned on him and left him for dead.

Then he meets Edwin.

And when he meets Edwin, he's at his absolute lowest. He's not smiling and putting on a show, for once. He's in a corner of an attic cowering while he slowly freezes to death. But here comes Edwin, offering him kindness, and company, and comfort.

All these things that Charles has spent his whole life chasing, trying to be good enough to earn? Edwin just gives them to him.

Of course he stays with this boy. Edwin is there when he's lost in the dark, shining a light to guide the way. Edwin has seen him unsmiling and afraid, not a shred of his usual act in place, and Edwin has offered him kindness anyway.

So they begin their time together. And what are the things Charles will pick up on almost immediately?

Edwin says right away that he's spent ages in hell. He's plainly had an awful time. He doesn't know how to handle people anymore, but Charles, he knows how to be amiable, how to smile, how to offer levity when things get grim.

So he does. He falls back into what he thinks Edwin needs, the way he always tried to be what his father wanted to see. In the very first episode, he tells Crystal, "I try to be extra happy for all of us, don't I? And I do a pretty good job."

He doesn't ever discuss his own trauma because these boys are terrible at communication, but more than that. He doesn't ever bring it up because he's busy being the support he thinks Edwin needs.

And importantly, Charles doesn't have the self-reflection skills to realize that's what he's doing. Crystal clocks him with shocking accuracy, three episodes in. "He's been hiding it from you," she tells Edwin. "Probably been hiding it from himself." She's spot-on here: when Charles doesn't want to examine his own emotions, or can't face them, he shoves them down under a smile and he carries on pretending.

But that's not the only thing Charles will have picked up on from Edwin.

It's blindingly obvious that Edwin is bad at people. He's terribly repressed. He's from a culture in which emotional honesty and physical affection were not valued or encouraged. But more than any of that, Edwin has his sexual awakening during the events of the show. Before then, he is absolutely clueless about his own wants.

So we have a situation where a consummate people-pleaser who has spent his entire life learning that he has to earn affection finds his way into a friendship with the first person who ever saw him with his mask down and gave him kindness anyway.

Of course he stays with this boy. Of course he wants to keep this.

And what's the best way Charles knows to win someone over? Well, by being what he thinks they want.

So, out come the smiles, for Edwin's sake as much as his own. But more importantly, out comes whatever Charles thinks he needs to perform, in order to keep what is the single most important relationship in his entire life and afterlife.

At this point, Edwin has shown zero romantic or sexual interest, not just in Charles, but in anyone at all. He doesn't especially seem inclined to dating, or to romance, or even to physical affection.

So Charles takes his cues from Edwin, and the cues are very firmly, for thirty years: this boy doesn't have a glimmer of interest in him, not that way.

Fast-forward to the events of the show. Fast-forward to a staircase in hell, where they are being chased by a literal demon. Suddenly his best mate, who he has spent thirty years with, who is his most important person in the world, is saying that he's in love with him.

Of course he needs a minute. Of course he has to sort that through. Any feelings he has for Edwin are things that he has spent literal decades firmly ignoring in the scramble to try and earn affection by being what he thinks Edwin needs him to be.

Because Charles is a people-pleaser at heart. And he may be dreadful at self-reflection, but he is aces at hiding things from himself.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being kind and civil with people who drive me insane?

So this is something that happens all the time and it's a pattern so to save your time, I'll only mention the one incident which that I got called out for several times, it's starting to make me think I might be TA.

I (34F) work in a grocery store. Maddy (???F) works in the security department and is in charge for looking through our grocery to ensure we didn't steal anything (our workplace is uncomfortably strict about this since many employees have stole in the past) She is very rude, I never liked her. She makes me so uncomfortable a lot because she yells all the time. At everyone. She never realized how offensive she is.

Anyway, sometimes I'd walk past her after my shift forgetting that I'm carrying grocery bags etc and she'd yell at me to get back there. It's always embarrassing because anyone who witnesses that would most likely assume I'm a shoplifter because of the way she's yelling. She yells about other stuff too mind you, don't think I always forget the fact I'm carrying grocery. They don't allow us to bring our bags inside and we have to keep them in our locker (according to her, I never heard this elsewhere). She yells at me if I try to take my purse with me if I'm in a hurry. She says it's ~the rules~ and we need to follow them but like, she the only security staff who's this strict about it. The others don't even bother to check our groceries because they trust we don't shoplift and it's actually stupid because we could still shoplift anyway and hide the items in our pockets and they don't perform a body check anyway (they used to in the past but were legally required to stop because of Covid).

How do I deal with her though? Every time she'd yell, I reply to her very calmly and attempt small talk to absorb her anger. For example, if she's angry about my grocery, I'd show them to her and ask stuff like "what is you favorite brand of milk/bread/egg etc etc"

She does engage but it never made her actually stop and think about her behaviors for a single second. I have always stopped to chat with her whenever I can and she always speaks calmly when I do, but returns to yelling when I "break the rules" as she says.

But here's the thing. My patience is limited. I'm like a battery, if you keep charging me, I'll eventually explode. I planned remaining civil with Maddy forever, but enough is enough and I accidentally lashed out. I lashed out on her ONCE only, I yelled much louder than she did, for 30 minutes, lecturing her about work etiquette. She was so surprised and taken aback. She told me "where did this all come from?" Like she didn't see it coming? She seriously mistook my patience and tolerance of her behaviors for friendliness. And that was the last time we talked, I reported her to HR the next day because I don't think she'll ever get the memo, and that's when I learned thst so many employees have complained about her already but they can't fire her because she an outsource and has strong connections in her company, management has already talked to her numerous times but she just doesn't listen, so don't call me TA for not communicating, it doesn't work with her.

My friend Gloria (28F) and many others including our manager (F30s) told me I should've not been chatting with her, I should just ignore her and disengage. They think the fact I'm talking kindly to her will just make her assume she isn't doing anything wrong and encourage her to keep behaving like that, and that she'd think I want to be friends??? None of that is my intention. I just want to be civil to her to indirectly get her to realize her behaviors weren't acceptable. I'm setting a good example for her, to learn from me how she should treat people and soften her heart.

I was called TA because they said I didn't have to be civil with her if I knew I might eventually lash out (but lashing out isn't something I planned??), and I should've just avoided her and set boundaries. Gloria told me it's an AH move to go out of my way to interact to someone I despise when ignoring them is an option and that makes me two faced and makes the people around me wonder if I truly like them or I'm basically tolerating them, but this wouldn't happen if I they weren't rude in the first place?

BTW a similar thing eventually happened with Gloria because her attitude sucked with me and I lashed out eventually because enough is enough, she said she should've known not to trust me because of how I treated Maddy and I shouldn't have befriended her if I "hated" her so much. AITA?

[cinnamon-galaxies]

𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐢𝐫 - Part 1

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairings: Alastor x female reader Summary: During a night out at a club with the hotel crew, you enjoy dancing and drinking with Angel while Alastor remains visibly uncomfortable in the lounge area. Seeking distraction from your conflicted feelings towards him, you connect with another woman, which quickly escalates into an embarrassing situation. This forces you to question not only your emotions but also the true nature of your complicated relationship with Alastor. Warnings/Tags: female reader, mutual pining, alcohol consumption, drunk reader, kissing, reader is bisexual and makes out with another woman, Alastor gets jealous, Alastor is bad at feelings so instead of communicating his jealousy he decides to taunt reader, second hand embarrassment Wordcount: 4.4k A/N: I can’t believe it – I’ve finally managed to write a new story! It has a second part that’s almost finished and will be posted at the end of the month. If you’d like to be tagged when it’s up, just let me know! Fun fact about this story: It includes lore about my OC Mara, as the circumstances under which the reader meets Selena are the same as those in which Mara encounters her best friend in my AU! Comments, Likes and Reblogs are always appreciated!

Masterlist

   The club was packed with bodies and the colorful neon lights flickered in time with the relentless beat of electronic music. Loud chatter and the pounding bass around him formed an unbearable cacophony that made Alastor cringe inwardly. He despised the modern scene and its noise, the crowds and overall lack of refinement. It was far from his idea of a pleasant evening. Oh, how much he hated to be here. Stressed and feeling completely out of place, Alastor sat in the lounge area of one of Pentagram City's most notorious clubs, his grin strained, his ears perked up and a much too sweet cocktail in his hand. If it wasn’t for his gloves, the whitened knuckles from his heavy grip around the glass would’ve been apparent even from afar. He hadn’t intended to come here and would’ve preferred to stay at the hotel, settling himself in front of his fireplace with a good book and fine jazz in the background. Honestly, he would’ve even preferred to clean the entire hotel over being forced to spend his time in this establishment which felt as wrong as a walk through the Vee’s district. It was Angel Dust who had brought up the idea of this excursion, promising a wild night of fun and debauchery to blow off some steam. The other residents had barely hesitated, convinced by the idea of spending a night out together. To Alastor’s biggest disapproval, they had insisted on him to accompany them. Not that they would’ve had the power to convince him to leave the tranquility of the quiet hotel behind for such a cacophony of modern entertainment that could be the product of one of his nightmares – no. It was you who had convinced him in the end. You were just too persistent and persuasive, and he was just too taken with you to refuse after such big eyes begged him to join.

   You, on the other side, enjoyed the evening. You were completely in your element, dressed up in a tight but elegant cocktail dress and exuding confidence as if you owned this place. Together with Angel Dust, you dominated the dance floor with fluid and inhibited movements, your arms held up in the air while you swung your hips to the rhythm of the music. You quickly became the center of attention, especially for Alastor who couldn’t help but watch you from his secluded spot, a mix of admiration and irritation flickering in his otherwise unreadable eyes. How he admired your confidence, your ability to let loose in such an uncomfortable and overstimulating place, reveling in the atmosphere with such vivid enthusiasm. Yet, the feelings he held for you were a secret, cautiously buried beneath the layers of his Radio Demon persona. 

   “Come on, Smiles, loosen up and have some fun,” Angel Dust suddenly interrupted his train of thoughts, and Alastor snapped his head in his direction, raising his eyebrows at the spider demon. When did he leave the dance floor? As Alastor glanced at him, he noticed a small tray with half a dozen shots in his hands. Angel must have left for the bar to get drinks for himself and the others. If he really thought he could convince Alastor to indulge in this kind of modern entertainment, he was delusional.

   Without a word, Alastor rolled his eyes and waved him off, his gaze drifting back to you before he got aware that Angel Dust still stood beside him and turned his attention to the glass in his hand.

   The spider demon let out a deep sigh. “Alright. Haven’t expected anything else,” he murmured and walked on, but not without placing one of the full shot glasses on the small table in front of Alastor and disappearing before Alastor could say something. He watched Angel Dust return to the dance floor, heading directly towards you. Then he stared at the shot glass and raised his eyebrow, clear liquor grinning back at him. With a sigh that was impossible to hear under the loud noise other people dared to call ‘music’, he took it in his hand and downed the substance in one gulp. A spicy burn seared in his throat, making him cough. At least the shot was tolerable…

   You had the time of your afterlife. Increasingly intoxicated after downing one drink after another you danced in the crowd, hips swaying vividly to the music with such unrestrained joy you haven’t felt in a long time. It was a good idea to agree to Angel’s suggestion to go partying. You didn't know that you needed this until you had arrived and he dragged you to the bar almost immediately to get ready for a night of reckless debauchery. You haven’t left the dance floor since you’ve emptied your first longdrink and probably won’t within predictable time because Angel Dust served you with new drinks almost every quarter of an hour.

   You watched your friend worm himself through the crowd, skillfully avoiding contact with any of the other guests, balancing the tray high above his head while he shielded himself from accidental punches with his second set of arms. When he arrived, he placed the tray on a high bar table not far from you. Still entranced by the music you danced your way over to him.

   “Damn, you really want to mess me up, huh?”, you joked as you noticed the amount of shots he got and Angel shrugged his shoulders.

   “Lil’ stock supply will prevent me from fighting myself over to the bar for at least another half an hour,” he responded, handing you a shot glass and taking one for himself.

   A laugh escaped your throat and you praised him for his genius idea with a quick wink. “Then let’s hope no one will spike them when we look away.” With that, you raised your shot glass in a quick toast and downed the clear liquor with high anticipation, a cough escaping you as the spicy alcohol burned down your throat. Dry Ouzo. Tasty, but like fire in the stomach.

   Angel chuckled at your reaction, clearly unaffected due to his regular club nights with Cherri.

   “Hey man, thanks for the drinks!” a random stranger exclaimed over the music, boldly snatching two shots away and disappearing in the crowd as fast as he had appeared.

   “And so the stock runs out,” Angel Dust deadpanned with an annoyed expression, staring with narrowed eyes in the direction the shot thief took their leave.

   You snorted through your nose, erupting in wholehearted laughter at his reaction, and shrugged your shoulders. “Looks like you’ll have to return to the bar sooner than anticipated,” you mocked him with a smirk, patting one of his lower shoulder joints.

   “Hmpf…” Without another word, Angel took another shot and downed it right after.

   You and Angel Dust spend some time just standing at the bar table, chatting with raised voices and watching the other guests while you commented on their dancing styles or played a sheepish game of ‘fuck, marry, kill’ with random strangers you pointed out from the crowd.

   After what was about an hour, you cleared your throat. “I need to go to the bathroom. After that, I’ll head to the bar and get myself a soda,” you informed Angel, and he nodded in acknowledgment. Pushing yourself up from the table, you navigated through the crowds, the effect of almost half a dozen shots clearly affecting your vision and balance. It wasn’t too debilitating because your body could handle large amounts of alcohol easily, but you still felt uncomfortable and needed some time to steady yourself and return to your senses. Some non-alcoholic drinks might work wonders to ease the symptoms. You're bound to face a brutal hangover tomorrow anyway.

   After you returned from the bathrooms you walked over to the bar, ordering a simple soda from the barkeeper. You thanked him as he handed you your non-alcoholic drink and leaned with your back against the bar counter. As you took a few gulps, your gaze wandered around the club and a sigh escaped your throat. It was an awesome evening though different from what you expected. You actually had planned to take it easy and not indulge in such debauchery. But Angel had claimed you as soon as you entered the club, dragging you away from the group and lulling you to loosen up. It’s not that you weren’t eager to go clubbing. You actually liked to partake in such excursions and just forget about the daily stress for an evening full of fun and loud music. And this time, it seemed to be helpful to suppress certain matters of the heart as well…

   Your gaze wandered to the lounge area where you found a certain deer demon sitting on a couch – the seats around him unoccupied because no one dared to sit close to him – and you could feel your heart sink. You were so confident when you convinced him to join your excursion and yet you didn’t dare to spare him a single glance ever since you entered this establishment. You had convinced him to join in a moment of boldness, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this could be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you. But instead you feared that you complicated things even further.

   Alastor was an enigma and that was part of the allure that drew you in. His charm, his charisma, and the old-world chivalry he brought to every interaction caused you to melt every time he was near. He made your heart race with a single glance, his touch – so commanding yet delicate – set your skin on fire, sending thousands of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. He was a force of nature, fierce and unpredictable, with a soft spot only those he chose were privileged to see. And you were one of those people. Yet, you weren’t even sure if you meant anything to him because he held you at a respectable distance, initiating a game of push and pull between you that left you reeling.

   Was it a mistake to bring him here? A part of you thought it was because you knew he never was one for Hell’s modern nightlife and seeing him sit there, a predator among prey with a strained grin plastered on his face and holding onto a drink in his hands, only highlighted the chasm between you two. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that you made things worse by dragging him into an environment where he seemed completely out of place, and where your feelings for him felt more unrequited than ever.

   "Dizzy head?" A female voice disrupted your train of thoughts, and you raised your head to meet the kind face of a beautiful woman leaning against the bar counter. She held a long drink with a tiny paper umbrella in her hand, her lips curled into a soft smile. Her skin had a pale pinkish hue, almost ghostly under the club's dim yet colorful lights, while two horns peeked out from her thick raven hair.

   "A little," you responded, pushing your daunting thoughts away, and took a sip from your soda. "But nothing to worry about. A few minutes of abstinence will do enough," you laughed lightly, trying to shake off the haze.

   The woman laughed along and glanced thoughtfully at the drink in her hands. “I’ll probably do the same after this one.” She shrugged and then turned her gaze back to you. “I’m Selena,” she introduced herself with a bright smile.

   “Y/N!” you returned much more joyfully than you felt.

   “So, your first time here? I’m a regular guest here so I know all of the common faces.”

   You took another sip from your soda. Maybe getting to know someone new would help you feel better. “I actually came here with a group of people. Friends and co-workers, you could say. Just a simple night out to get some distraction from the stress of maintaining the hotel,” you explained with a slight smile on your lips as your gaze quickly wandered around the club. You noticed some of your companions scattered across the establishment.

   Selena tilted her head curiously, clearly intrigued. “The hotel? So, you’re working at that ‘Hazbin Hotel’?” she asked, and soon your casual small talk turned into an extensive conversation. You told her about your job and Charlie’s unusual belief in redemption that barely received any recognition, and Selena listened intently, her curiosity keeping the conversation alive with thoughtful questions. As you talked, a sense of relief washed over you. Slowly, you learned more about Selena, and before long, thoughts of Alastor faded from your mind entirely.

   As the night wore on, you found yourself drawn back into the rhythm of shots and cocktails, and soon enough, Selena dragged you back to the pulsing dance floor. The flashing lights and thumping bass faded into the background as you moved in sync, the world reduced to just the two of you dancing and laughing like old friends. The chemistry between you was palpable. Selena mirrored your enthusiasm and joy with such ease that it felt like you had known each other for years. With every dance move and shared laughter, the bond between you deepened and you were certain that if the night continued on this smoothly and you both remembered each other the next morning, you had found a new friend. 

   The music – a popular pop song from the early 2000’s – filled the air, infusing the atmosphere with nostalgia and energy, and a sense of euphoria washed over you. You danced, drinks raised into the air while you held each other on the shoulders. Each move felt like a release, a moment of being liberated from all worries and constraints as the adrenaline rushed through your veins.

   You exchanged meaningful glances with Selena, unable to ignore the magnetic pull you felt toward her. Was it merely the alcohol heightening your perceptions, or was it genuinely her captivating presence – her allure, infectious personality, and sharp wit – that drew you in? You didn’t know but your mutual attraction pulled you closer until you eventually slipped away, stumbling into a quiet hallway at the back of the club, away from the pounding music and the press of bodies. The alcohol clouded your vision, lowered your senses and your boundaries. And so, you found yourself caught in a passionate embrace with Selena. Your fingers played with her hair as you pressed yourself against her, using the proximity with that alluring woman to your own benefit to forget about the tight squeeze around your heart and all the inner turmoil you felt whenever you thought about him.

   Meanwhile, Alastor still sat in his secluded spot, grateful that his presence was nervously avoided by the other guests. He appreciated not having to endure forced proximity with people – at least most of the time. One time during the evening, Charlie – ever the caring person – had seated herself next to him, expressing her worry about his obviously strained mood and claiming to feel guilty for not allowing him to stay at the hotel. How funny that the princess truly believed she was the reason he joined their little night out; as if she had any authority over him... To his surprise, Alastor had easily managed to brush her off by affirming he was alright all over again. A blatant lie, but preferable over enduring more of her neverending rambling. Of course, she reassured him several times that returning to the hotel would be okay, before she eventually left him alone. And Alastor would have already left hours ago if it wasn’t his primary concern to ensure your safety.

   He felt a migraine coming on, an unpleasant throbbing in his temple caused by the stress this establishment was inflicting upon him. Rising from his seat, he decided to retreat from the main area to seek some respite from the oppressive atmosphere, instructing his shadow to remain vigilant. With his cane tapping against the floor with every step, he walked past the lounge area and the dancefloor, the crowd instinctively parting to make way for him like Moses parting the Red Sea. Thanks to his observant shadow, he already knew that the back of the club led to an outside area that offered a welcome relief from the sensory overload.

   As he walked through the dimly lit hallway, the music became quieter, no longer assaulting his sensitive hearing, and instead, faint giggles reached his ears. He hesitated before rounding the corner and stopped dead in the tracks. There, in front of him, were you, pressed against a wall and your lips locked with another woman in a heated kiss. The scene was intimate, passionate, and entirely unexpected. Your body was entwined with her’s, your hands roaming through her hair while the woman held you in her embrace.

   For a moment, Alastor simply watched, unable to avert his gaze. This revelation caught him completely off-guard and his heart twisted painfully in his chest, an unfamiliar feeling of jealousy and confusion warring inside him. He had known that you were fond of men but this revelation left him reeling. But no matter with whom you were with, seeing you in such an intimate manner with another person was a blow he hadn’t anticipated and that sent a surge of anger through his body. He clenched his fists, torn between storming away and interrupting you, the discomfort palpable in his features while he fought to regain his composure.

   Sensing eyes on you, you broke the kiss and looked up. You startled immediately as your eyes fell on the red deer demon.

   "Alastor!" you exclaimed in shock, instinctively pushing Selena away. She turned her head, her eyes widening immediately, her face paling in shock and fear as she recognized the figure standing before you both. "You– you’re the Radio Demon!" she stammered, her voice shaky.

   You, still breathless from the kiss, clenched your jaws together, feeling just as uncomfortable as Alastor. His grin looked strained for a second but then he returned to his cold, unreadable expression, and your heart sank in your chest.

   “Alastor… this isn’t what it looks like…” you muttered a cheap excuse while you felt the heat rising to your face, turning your already alcohol-induced cheeks to a burning red. Your lips curled into a nervous grin, driven by the rush of embarrassment coursing through your veins, mingled with a heavy, unidentifiable tangle of emotions. Out of all your companions, why did it have to be him who caught you in the middle of the act?

   Alastor raised an eyebrow, his smile now sardonic while his gaze wandered back and forth between you and Selena. His voice carried a heavy static as he responded, “Oh, I think it is exactly what it looks like, my dear.”

   You took in a sharp breath. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t mean to–,” you tried to explain but Alastor cut you off with a dismissive wave of his clawed hand.

   “Nonsense, my dear,” he laughed his discomfort off, pushing his jealousy aside, though the enhanced static on his voice betrayed his forced facade. “There’s no need to apologize. You’re free to do whatever you want. I am the one who should be apologizing. I didn’t mean to interrupt your…” He wiggled his fingers in a suggestive gesture that implied everything he wanted to say without having to utter a single word.

   You giggled nervously, your heartbeat slowly calming, and glanced at Selena who appeared visibly intimidated by Alastor’s presence, her posture tense and her joyful expression replaced by a mortified grimace, which only made you feel more uneasy.

   “I– I should go,” she eventually said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that lingered in the hallway and attempted to walk off.

   “No, wait!” you tried to stop her, not wanting to be left alone with Alastor, but Selena just forced herself to tighten her lips into a reassuring smile.

   “Don’t worry, I’ll find you later,” she retorted, interpreting your reaction as a worry to not see her again instead of the sheer plea to not be left alone. With that, she walked off, returning to the main part of the club and leaving you alone with Alastor.

   You felt his lingering gaze burning into your side, the faint glow of his crimson eyes in the dim light of the hallway making him appear more dangerous than he was. Well, assuming that Alastor wasn’t dangerous would be utterly naive – he was literally an overlord and one of the most dangerous ones at that. However, he would never harm you, so in that sense, he was harmless.

   “Enjoying yourself, I see,” Alastor eventually commented, his unreadable expression sharpened by a subtle flicker of disapproval in his eyes.

   You still couldn't bring yourself to look at him and that comment only exacerbated your unease. Why did he have to be someone who found pleasure in keeping other people on edge? Could he at least not wallow in your discomfort now? It wasn’t as if you weren’t already suffering enough.

   You sighed and bit your lip, swallowing the clod in your throat before you pulled yourself together to say something. “We were just… oh fuck me…” you mumbled those last words quietly to yourself, “Look, she’s a friend and we got a little too comfortable after drinking so much booze.” While you tried to explain the situation, you asked yourself why you even bothered. He couldn’t care less. You weren’t dating and probably not even friends. Damn, you didn’t even know what you were because everything was just too complicated between the both of you. There were pushes and pulls and every time you felt some tension crackling between you it dissipated again, leaving you clueless and completely confused by Alastor’s unpredictable behavior, his intermittent interest in you, and those random moments that allowed you a fleeting glimpse behind his facade. It was infuriating the least and most of all profoundly frustrating. If it wasn’t for him and your damned feelings for that man, you probably wouldn't even have found yourself in this predicament.

   “Why are you even here?” you asked and eventually dared to look at him. 

   “I was seeking some quiet,” he replied, his voice softer now, the edge gone.

   “And then you stumbled upon us and decided to watch?”

   He let out a humorless laugh. “Oh, come on. I did not watch,” he dismissed your question with a nonchalant throw of his hand, rolling his eyes as if you just asked him the stupidest thing. “But your little rendezvous was attracting quite the attention, dear.”

   You gritted your teeth and decided to push his borders a little. If he could make the situation awkward for you then you could certainly return the favor. Besides, you were still drunk and the alcohol lowered your inhibitions enough to go completely bold in front of him.

   Narrowing your eyes you crossed your arms in front of your chest and relaxed back against the same wall you were just pressed against by Selena mere minutes ago. “Quite the attention or your attention, Alastor?” you asked, pretending to be more confident than you actually were.

   Alastor’s grin grew more strained immediately and you could swear that one of his eyes twitched for a quick second before he regained his composure yet another time. Why was he so tense? Normally, Alastor would’ve just raised an eyebrow and walked past you without further interest. But instead he froze on spot, obviously unable to avert his gaze until you felt his eyes on you.

   He didn’t respond, so your expression grew more smug as you decided to push him just a little bit further. Maybe you could use this situation to your advantage and finally get some answers… “Could it be that it bothered you to catch me with someone else?”

   “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, dear,” he dismissed your question with another throw of his hand, rolling his eyes yet again. “I was merely caught off-guard by seeing you engaging in such frivolities with another woman. I didn’t know you swung both ways.” He tilted his head and chuckled, the static filter on his voice distorting the sound almost unnervingly.

   “Well, there’s a lot about me that you don’t know,” you retorted, your voice coming out sharper than expected.

   One of Alastor’s ears twitched at your aggravated tone. “Is that so?” he asked.

   “It is.” You deadpanned.

   A moment of silence lingered between the two of you until Alastor broke it, “Well, the world is full of surprises, isn’t it? And you, my dear, seem to be full of surprises too.”

   “I don’t know whether to be flattered or offended.”

   “How about both?” He tilted his head once more, casually positioning his cane in front of him and leaning on it the way he usually did when he found himself intrigued by something. The tension that had gripped him so tightly vanished as if it had never been there at all. And there it was: the so-called push and pull that left you reeling for months. 

   You took a deep breath, growing annoyed by this conversation. “If you don’t care then why are you still here?”

   “Curiosity, dear,” he responded casually.

   “Curiosity?” You arched an eyebrow, not quite buying his answer.

   “Indeed,” he affirmed.

   “Curiosity killed the cat,” you deadpanned.

   “And satisfaction brought it back,” he retorted, clearly enjoying the banter.

   You groaned. Why did he have to do this to you…? “Well, if you’re satisfied now… you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be.” You pushed yourself off the wall, ready to return to the dance floor – but not without heading towards the bar beforehand and ordering the strongest booze you could get here.

   You already set off, as Alastor’s voice called after you, “Running away, are we?”

   You stopped in your tracks and closed your eyes, reminding yourself that you were in public and therefore couldn’t just hit his head against a brick. Or…? Well, actually you could. You were in Hell, anyway. But Alastor was much stronger than you, and if you were to attack him, it meant that you couldn't be certain he would no longer be harmless to you. “I am not running away. I just don't see any reason to stay here and be interrogated by you any longer.”

   “Interrogated? My dear, I'm simply making conversation.”

   “This ain’t a simple conversation if you’re prying into my personal life.” With that you straightened your back and headed back to the main room of the club, leaving Alastor alone in the hallway, completely unaware of the hurt expression on his face.

Part 2 will be out at the end of the month. Let me know if you'd like to be tagged!

[glossdebut]

Take a Bite Ch. 1

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you're finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off... Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You've accepted the fact that romance isn't for you, under any circumstances. You won't risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.

✧ TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer yoongi, music journalist reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you'll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up

✧ WARNINGS: social drinking, mechanical bull-related injuries lol

✧ WORDCOUNT: 2.7k so far

✧ STATUS: complete

✧ AUTHOR'S NOTE: hi! i'm aqua and this is my first ever fic so please be nice!! i will be crossposting this work and all future works on my ao3 of the same name. i'm figuring out how this works as i go, so please be patient with me. tags are subject to change with every update. i won't have a posting schedule for this one, but i have the first few chapters pre-written, so expect an update sometime next week!

Chapter 1: Lay Your Cards Down, Down, Down, Down

Although this is the furthest thing from your scene, you can’t help but think to yourself that you should invest in some cowboy boots. You could make them work, you’re sure of it.

Even if you know you would never pull the trigger on purchasing any, too far out of the comfort zone of your normal style, the thought is the only thing keeping you sane—that, and the sound of Cowboy Carter blasting through the speakers of the bar, a welcome reprieve from the drawling, boring country anthems you’d been suffering through for the past hour or so. 

You pride yourself on seeing the merit in all genres of music, you do. You were always the type of person who puffed up her chest when you told people ‘I listen to everything,’ uncaring of how pretentious it may sound. You mean it. It’s an asset in your line of work, and as far as you’re concerned, a little bit of pretentiousness is a small price to pay for the, quite frankly, baller route your fledgling career is heading in. 

But a Western bar? Not the kind of place you’d spend a precious Friday night willingly. Another hazard of the job.

After months of skillfully avoiding the weekly Friday nights out with the other rookie reporters at the magazine, you’d run out of excuses not to join them. If four years studying communications taught you anything, it was that connections are everything in the journalism business. Even more so where the music industry is concerned.

So here you are, at your fourth stop of your night of bar hopping with your extroverted and extremely drunk coworkers, nursing warm beer and observing from the least populated corner you managed to scout upon entry. All things considered, you had been a good sport at the three previous stops. You just draw the line at square dancing with the people you work with. College may have beaten your fear of impromptu phone calls and talking to strangers out of you, but your social battery can only take so much. 

Your phone battery, too, you think bitterly as you stare down at the low battery warning on your screen. Okay, so you’ll finish your shitty beer (because you’re not quite successful enough yet to afford wasting alcohol that you’re paying for) and then use your phone’s remaining juice to catch an Uber home. No biggie.

You’re in the middle of turning off your phone with full intent to work out the kinks of your exit strategy when you realize, with irritation, that your chosen corner is about to be invaded.

Your eyes land on a pair of black Jordans ( in a Western bar? your mind supplies, as if you have any room to judge in your Docs) and travel up, past torn black jeans and a black shirt, and just when you’re sensing a theme with this guy, your eyes reach a head of (regrettably, very nice) black hair and a pair of the darkest eyes you’ve ever seen. Anish Kapoor would wail at the sight of these eyes, you think.

As if sensing your apprehension, your corner-thief raises his free hand (the other clutching a plastic cup of his own) palm out, as if to say ‘I come in peace’ and stops in his tracks.

“I can find another spot,” corner-thief says, the low rumbling of his voice barely audible above Texas Hold ‘Em. “I’m just waiting for one of my friends to get bored or injured so I can leave.”

“Injured,” you repeat, despite your better judgment to take him up on his offer and let him be on his way. But your phone is dead and you’re a little bit drunk, bored, and even for an unwanted partner in social evasion, this guy is nicer to look at than the frat guys playing beer pong you’ve been observing for the better part of an hour.

Corner-thief grins a stupidly charming gummy smile, leaning just the slightest bit closer to be heard better but still keeping a respectful distance. As if he’s still wary that you’ll lunge at him if he encroaches on your space any further. Good man.

“There’s a mechanical bull upstairs,” he says, using his index finger on the hand holding his cup to point at the ceiling above you both.

Of course there is. With your luck, you’ll also have to peel someone off of the floor later after going head-to-head with the bull.

“Not your thing?” you guess, glancing pointedly at his Jordans, and he shakes his head, huffing through his nose in what you can only guess is a laugh.

“No, I wouldn’t say so.” 

He pauses, shifting from foot to foot for a moment before speaking again. “So, will you share your wall? I can look around again but this place is more packed than I would’ve pegged it for.”

You nod and he smiles again thankfully, taking the spot on the wall next to you. That should be it. Two strangers who don’t want to be here standing in companiable silence next to each other while they wait for their friends–or coworkers, in your case–to put them out of their misery and let them go home.

But… You consider your options, your phone taking its dying breath in your pocket, and you sigh, turning to him.

“Y/N,” you say, holding out your hand for him to shake. 

He takes it with his free hand, giving you an amused look. “Yoongi.”

“What’s that look for?”

He laughs again, a little bit more this time, and your heart does a stupid, funny thing. “I don’t think I’ve ever been greeted by a pretty girl in a bar with a handshake,” he says, causing you to flush and pull your hand away as if it’d been burned, your shoulders tensing as you take a sip of your beer. 

A western bar certainly isn’t your scene, but admittedly, neither are bars or clubs in general. You got all of that out of your system in college where everyone was awkward as fuck or too drunk to care that you were, and ever since you got your degree you have lived and breathed your work. Your social skills were never quite up to par, but you didn’t realize you were this fucking embarrassing.

“I came out with coworkers right after we got off, so I think I’m still kind of in work mode,” you lie, and as if sensing that you feel slightly made fun of, Yoongi shakes his head.

“I didn’t mean it as a bad thing, swear,” he says, tilting his head at you. Dark eyes considering you. “Honestly, I’m thankful you’re putting up with me at all. I don’t think I’d be so kind if the roles were reversed. I know firsthand how hard it is to find a spot to breathe in places like this.”

You feel your shoulder muscles relax just the slightest bit. “I thought about sending you away, but I couldn’t help it. My heart aches when I see an introvert in need of a hiding spot,” you attempt to joke. 

“At least I’m out with friends,” he says sympathetically. “I’ve done the coworker thing before. It’s a drag.”

“It’s weird ,” you correct. “I mean, I sit in meetings with these people. I avoid answering their emails all day. Why is it considered rude to not want to see them piss drunk?”

Yoongi hums in agreement, nodding his head. “What do you do, anyway?”

“I work for Look Here Magazine,” you reply, straightening up a bit in pride when Yoongi’s eyes flash with recognition, his body turning so his shoulder is against the wall now. You turn as well, facing him. “I write for the music section.”

“No shit? I’ve probably read your stuff, then,” Yoongi says, grinning. 

He’s cute. Hot. You can’t help but notice, no matter how hard you’re trying not to. The way that he seems to carry himself in particular, you think, might end up driving you crazy if you’re exposed to it for too long. Maybe you’ve been living under a rock, but you’ve never met a fellow wallflower that still exuded such confidence. He wears it insanely well.

“Look Here covers a lot of big artists,” you hear him continue. “I’m a little surprised you’re hugging the wall, honestly. This place is nothing compared to music industry parties.”

“Ah, I only started a few months ago,” you admit, looking down into your cup. “Not a lot of bylines yet. I haven’t made it into a room with an artist that big yet.”

“But you want to,” Yoongi guesses, and you nod, looking up to meet his eyes. He looks impressed, impressed by you , and that… does something to you. Huh. “Shit, that’s… That’s really cool.”

“Thanks,” you say. You can feel your cheeks heating up again, and you’re suddenly very eager to turn the attention away from yourself. “What about you? What do you do?”

“Ah,” Yoongi says, fixing his eyes to his cup just as you had a moment ago. “I’m a music producer, actually.”

You perk up at that. So that’s why he reads Look Here, why he seemed so interested when you told him what you do. 

“Anything I’ve heard?” you ask, leaning in like he’s about to tell you a secret. Networking never stops.

He watches as you lean, his mouth turning up at the corners in a smirk. “Probably.” 

You wait for more, but it doesn’t come. Shithead. So much for that.

“You’ve gotta give me more than that,” you say, and god, you can hear the pout in your own voice. Are you that drunk? Flirting for a lead in a story?

“I don’t,” Yoongi says simply, his smirk in full force now. Mean and annoying and hot. He hasn’t leaned away from you yet. “I want to know more about you, actually. Journalism is hard work. I’m surprised you have time to go out like this.”

“Like I said, I was forced.”

“Still. Spending time with your friends or family or partner or whatever must take priority when it comes to your free time.”

Why is he so interested? You scrunch your nose, trying to figure out what he could be fishing for here. You don’t make it a habit to divulge the details of your sad excuse for a personal life to strangers, but the alcohol has loosened your lips. Maybe you need to talk about it. It’s not like you’ll ever see him again, anyway.

“My family is back home. My best friend is this insanely talented playwright. She’s constantly traveling. I see her when she can get some time to fly out.” You take a quick sip of your drink, ignoring the pang in your chest. Sometimes it sneaks up on you, how lonely you are. “Other than her, it’s just me, really. The dating thing… Nobody really seems to get how demanding my job can be, and it always ends in hurt feelings.”

There’s a long pause, and you’re worried you’ve shared too much. You’re enjoying talking to Yoongi. You know it doesn’t matter, that you’ll likely never see him again, but it would really, really suck if his permanent mental image of you ends up being ‘lonely weird drunk girl,’ even if that’s what you are. You force yourself to look up at him. The look in his eyes makes your heart flip stupidly again.

“I get that,” he says, and his voice is soft, barely audible over the music filling the space. You’re reading his lips more than anything, honestly, and you don’t let yourself look at them for too long. He may be pretty—unbearably so, you’re realizing—but he’s a stranger. A mean, annoying, hot, pretty stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. Every guy says he gets it. This needs to stay what it is, you think. Momentary companionship between introverts who would rather die than square dance.

You don’t get much time to agonize over it. Whatever is going on between you and Yoongi is intercepted quickly by his phone buzzing in his pocket and his responding grimace when he pulls it out to check it.

“Namjoon fell off of the mechanical bull,” he says, like he’s completely unsurprised by that news. He downs the rest of his drink and pockets his phone again, pushing off of the wall. “I’ve gotta deal with that.”

You nod, pulling what you hope is a sympathetic face. “Good luck.”

His bottom lip catches between his teeth, and you hold your breath. He looks like he wants to say something, torn between rushing upstairs to save his friend and staying, just for a moment.

You think you know what he wants to say, think foolishly that maybe he wants to ask for your number, and you honestly don’t know if you’d give it to him if he did. You’re so used to saying no.

He runs his fingers through his hair, opens his mouth to speak, and then he looks down like his phone is buzzing again. When he looks back up, it seems like he’s thought better of it.

“Thanks for sharing your wall,” he settles on, smiling congenially. You smile back, and then he’s heading towards the stairs.

Good, you think. You know better. If he really gets it, he does too.

★ ★ ★

You’re dragged out to one more bar before you finally make it home, your interaction with Yoongi having knocked you off-kilter enough to agree to a few more drinks.

It does wonders for your social status at work, you’re sure, but by the time you’re dropped off you’re dizzy-drunk, fighting to stay upright in the elevator of your apartment building.

You’re fumbling and failing at getting your key into the lock of your front door, tongue poking out of the corner of your mouth in concentration, when a voice calling your name a few feet to your right almost makes you jump out of your skin.

You yell, clutching your chest, and when you turn to face the owner of the voice that almost made you lose the contents of your stomach on your doormat, you’re greeted by none other than corner-thief-mean-annoying-hot-pretty Yoongi himself, leaning against the door to the apartment two doors down.

“What the fuck,” you blurt out dumbly, and he laughs. At you! How dare he stand there, lean there, all hot and annoying and in your apartment building for some fucking reason and laugh at you.

“I was going to ask if you needed help,” he says, and oh, fuck. You were safe from just how deep his voice was under the thrum of the music at the bar, but in the quiet of your apartment building this late, you can hear it just fine. Feel it, even. Feel it in places you do not want to humor right now. “I’m going to take a wild guess and say you do.”

It’s obvious that Yoongi is faring much better than you are, although his night clearly didn’t end after the mechanical bull incident. Faster than you can react, he’s right in front of you, gently taking your key from your hands and turning it in the lock, like it’s easy.

“Gonna make it in okay?” he asks, looking down at you. You force your brain to make words.

“I’ll be okay,” you assure him, your tongue heavy in your mouth. “Are you stalking me?”

He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “I think we’re neighbors.”

“Oh.” Oh. Okay. That’s fine. Just because he’s your neighbor doesn’t mean you have to do something stupid, like see him ever again.

“Give me your number,” he says softly. Oh.

You blink at him, and he grins. Gummy smile. You feel like you’re going to vomit all over his Jordans.

“In case you ever can’t use your keys again,” he clarifies. “I told you, those music industry parties are killer.”

And really, you’re powerless to resist. You give him your number, using all of your remaining brain power to remember the order of the digits. Seemingly satisfied, Yoongi pockets his phone and steps back, heading back to his front door.

“Goodnight, neighbor,” he says, unlocking his door with ease. “Sleep on your side.”

You swallow thickly and nod, slipping inside your own apartment as quickly as you can manage. 

Once you’re in, you sink onto the floor, your back pressed against the door behind you. Your cat, perched on your coffee pot, stares at you in your drunk, flustered state, unimpressed. Offended, even, judging by the way she licks her paw.

You’re so fucked.

✧ shoot me a reply or an ask if you enjoyed this chapter! feedback is always appreciated <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future chapters!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER ✧ MASTERLIST ✧ NEXT CHAPTER

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

Hi there! Good day or night! I hope you're doing well! May i request romantic headcannons for Wine and Coffee with a reader who's kind and generally a pacifist, separately. Plssss?

Hey travelers! Your requests are pretty similar so I hope you don't mind me merging your asks. I've been wanting to write them for some time now, so I hope you enjoy the headcannons!

Featuring: Wine, Coffee.

Masterlist

Wine

Assuming you both met at the underground, he straight up thinks it's a facade the first time he meets you.

But when he does realize it isn't a facade and that's just how you are, he's very confused and a bit concerned.

How did someone so kind ended up in the hell hole that is the underground?

It does not matter, at this point he has already taken you in along with Chara.

And some time later...Chara now treats you both as their parents. Congratulations..?

Wine's demiromantic, so he won't fall for you right at the start, he only considers you as a friend.

Though when he does catch feelings for you, he waits until the monsters get freed from the underground, he knows if anyone finds out he fell in love with a human you're gonna be in great danger.

Even on the surface, Wine still has a lot of connections and is still very important, not that he'll ever tell you what he does.

Loves the fact that you get along with his brother, if you didn't he wouldn't even be with you traveler.

His ecto-body is hot, not like that traveler, and he adores when you snuggle him at cold night, he thinks it's adorable.

Chara has asked for a sibling multiple times, Wine never gave them a proper response.

"Dad?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"I want a sibling."

"..."

"Dad answer me!"

Coffee

Oh lord. He's so in love.

It's just so difficult to find someone who actually respects him for who he is and not because they're scared of his brother.

He doesn't really speak much, except if you manage to be close to him, Coffee mostly communicates by notes.

Though if you ask about a game he likes, he can go for hours straight telling you all about it, to the characters to the mechanics and what's the lore behind it.

Even if you simply watch him play, he still enjoys it, it makes him feel warm inside.

Coffee definitely leaves notes around places he knows you'd see, just simple reminders and compliments like "HAVE YOU DRINKED WATER TODAY?" or "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU TODAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL <3" and then have a sketch of you filling the rest of the note.

If you're ever being stalked or someone's being a little shit to you, Coffee will tell Wine, your brother in law still has connections after all, it won't take long for that person to leave you alone.

Loves cuddles, it does not matter where, on the couch, the bed, the floor.. anywhere that isn't public he'll cuddle you.

Also loves to play with your hair, he thinks it's just so soft! If you let him he'd be with his hands all over your hair while cuddling.

Coffee stays awake late a lot of the time, sometimes you wonder how he didn't die from sleep deprivation.

Please help him regulate his sleeping schedule, it's all fucked up.

His face turns yellow when you compliment his art, and he malfunctions.

"That looks so good dear!"

"..."

"dear?"

"..."

*Coffee is overheating

"Oh god i think I broke him.."

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

Today on popping the corn and feeding the children, what do you folks think of this discussion? :)

I'm always curious to hear what other Trek fans, especially queer Trek fans, think about our place in Trek history and how we fare as the queer participants within our fandom. What have your experiences been like?

Overwhelmingly I've found a great reception and a welcoming attitude, but I admit that has increased considerably since the 90s. However, there are still some Trek fans who seem to be vehemently in denial about queer history in Star Trek, or the fact that anyone who has worked on Trek has pro-LGBT attitudes. This always surprises me considering some of the blatant queer content we have already seen in Star Trek such as the Jadzia Dax and Lenara Kahn kiss.

Anyway, I enjoyed the discussion that followed and seeing the overwhelming outpouring of support coming from Star Trek fans in response to this thread.

Here was my two cents contribution:

"No, what they said was factual.

Have you forgotten Nichelle Nichols was indeed an African American woman in the core seven bridge crew back in 1966?

Or the fact that Gene Roddenberry went out of his way to write The Motion Picture Novel, creating the term "T'hy'la: friend, brother, lover" so that fans could choose which interpretations of Kirk and Spock they saw fit? He also embraced K/S fans and hired a number of them to write the earliest Star Trek novels, including the very first official one (The New Voyages Vol. 1 & 2) which included slash fiction as well as Gene's approval/forward in the books.

In case anyone has forgotten, here's a little bit of background on Gene Roddenberry and his perspectives on queerness in Star Trek.

He admitted that in his early life he was very affected by how society and culture treated the LGBT community, and that he too found himself subjugating and judging others for that lifestyle because it was what people did at that time. As he got older and had more life experience, he began working with a number of queer artists in Hollywood -- and through TOS, a number of queer individuals began asking questions about Kirk and Spock.

Instead of vehemently shutting down this perspective, Roddenberry was intrigued, and saw potential to tap into a large audience (LGBT) that most others didn't want to go near or acknowledge publicity-wise. He saw it as an opportunity to expand the fanbase while also pushing yet another envelope.

But with the heat already on the show for what they'd already pushed, he found he was often stuck between what he'd like to do and what production would let him get away with. There are a number of Kirk and Spock scenes in scripts that got cut out for leaning a little too obviously romantic. Tiny trickles of that content still made it in were infamous moments like the backrub scene in Shore Leave. Even the 2009 movie had a K/S moment while Spock Prime and Kelvin Spock talked that was written and filmed that was cut out of the final product.

Queer subtext and coding has always been relentlessly weeded away at with an excuse ready to go for why they always try to cut us out, but we all know it's because they are scared of the homophobic backlash and ratings hits. Look how violently homophobes went after the gay romance episode of The Last of Us **just this year**. This has always been our reality, so for someone like Roddenberry to make efforts in the 70s? That was massive.

But Gene as well as the queer/slash Trek community managed to accomplish some things in the 70s which I'm surprised more folks don't talk about or give much credit.

In the same TMP novel which features "T'hy'la" and the famous footnote, Gene cleverly wrote Kirk with a bisexual/pansexual lens: Kirk describes himself as *preferring* women but being open to "physical love in **any** of its many Earthly, alien, and mixed forms." (Direct quote from Genes book). Basically, Captain Kirk was DTF with whoever if there was a connection, which was a very progressive take for a character in a novel written in 1979, but made sense for the future which would have a lot less hang ups about sex and love compared to our current rather puritan/conservative society.

I also prefer women, but I married a man. Shout out to Gene Roddenberry for giving us a seat at the table back in the 70's when folks *still* try to insist there is no place for K/S or queer concepts in Trek, because he made efforts -- however small -- to employ queer people and show queer perspectives. According to David Gerrold, LGBT+ representation was a big thing that Gene personally pushed for in TNG and wanted various depictions of love/couples in the Risa scenes, to name one example.

In the 70s, fanzines led to meetings and swapped fanmade magazines, which got so big that they needed hotel centers, then convention centers, then one day the TOS cast came to one and what we know as modern fan conventions were born -- inspiring even George Lucas who attended Trek conventions in the 70s and saw how popular Trek was in syndication; it was a great climate to launch his Space Opera. Star Wars then became so huge that we got TMP.

But none of that would have happened without the level of organization, passion, and creativity that those fans poured into Star Trek and their characters after it got cancelled and went into syndication.

Without queer folks we wouldn't have George Takei, Theodore Sturgeon who gave us Tribbles, Bill Theiss and his amazing TOS costumes, Mike Minor's art direction, Merritt Butrick, David Gerrold (writer for TOS, TAS, TNG) to name a few of many queer contributors to Trek that Roddenberry respected and tried to go to bat for wherever he could in a climate that was absolutely impossible to gain an inch in.

At a time during the 70s and 80s when so many people resented and feared the queer community and wanted us to disappear, especially in the 80s during the AIDS epidemic which many homophobes claimed was "God's punishment to the gay community" or "Gods's answer" to our "hedonism", thinking we'd gotten our just desserts and should just disappear . . .

During that time, Gene Roddenberry gave us queer folks a place to say: "You know what? Sure. Write your stories. TV says you guys shouldn't exist, they pull books with queer people off the shelves and burn them. Laws exist specifically to forbid you guys from loving each other, and call you mentally ill. You can't even hold hands in public. But I'm going to validate you guys and invite you to write novels or work for me, try to see what we can get by production, and allow you to see yourselves in my characters if you want to. There's a place for you in our fandom."

He gave us bi/pan Kirk, he gave us K/S is open to interpretation. In Phase 2 Kirk's surviving nephew Peter, son of his brother Sam from Operation: Annihilate!, was going to be written as gay and living on the Enterprise with his partner -- that also got chopped and reworked into a script that wouldn't get used until decades later. That was huge at a time that being queer was officially listed as a mental illness, and villainized due to the AIDS crisis.

So before you try to dismiss or tell K/S + queer Trek fans whether or not they deserve a seat at the table, remember that Gene Roddenberry was among the **first** to pull that seat out for us in a climate that was ruthlessly against LGBT+ folks." -- 1Shirt2ShirtRedShirtDeadShirt

P.S: Have some cute bisexual/pansexual K/S pride gifs. :) Pride month is a hop, skip and a jump away.

LLAP!🖖💚

[bleedingoptimism]

Steve only agreed to go out with Tommy after their parents set them up because he “owed” his dad for ruining a potential business partnership for him at a dinner party.

To the rest of the guests, the man had just tripped and embarrassed himself but he knew and Steve knew and Steve’s dad knew: Steve had tripped him. But the guy had groped his ass when he crossed him on his way to the bathroom. He had it coming.

And even if his father had agreed with him after Steve told him the truth, he still needed help landing another client since his most profitable opportunity turned out to be a big ol’ creep. A date with another client’s son. Young, rich, good-looking, a single dad. It didn’t sound that bad.

And so Steve met Tommy. 

At first, Tommy was… good. He was charming, cute, a praiser and a joker but the more Steve got to know the less he liked. After a while the compliments stopped and the commanding requests began. Get me this, pick this up, cook me, blow me, dress me, feed me, drive me, me, me, me.

But if Steve wanted or needed something? Tommy was sooo tired and busy. He hadn’t even made an effort to meet Steve’s friends yet. Plus he was always making Steve feel dumb and unimportant, saying his job was silly, even if Steve made almost as much money as him with fewer hours.

Telling him not to ‘worry his pretty head about it’ when Steve asked for clarifications or wouldn’t talk to him about work because Steve ‘wouldn’t get it’. He talked down on Steve all the time and offered him money to “buy himself something nice” in a degrading manner as if Steve was nothing more than arm candy for him.

The worst part was when he realized Tommy… wasn't funny. At all. All his jokes were based on making fun of other people. And he was the only one who laughed at them. He was no better than a bully. He… kind of sucked.

And Steve would’ve loved to never have to see him again. But the problem was he had fallen in love with Tommy’s daughter, Tarja. Because Tommy might have been a terrible boyfriend but at least he was a good enough father. So the weeks Tommy got Tarja, Steve spent most of his time with her. 

She was just a delight. Cute, smart, and actually funny. She had the most deadpan sarcastic humor a 6-year-old could manage and it cracked him up. She was also super creative and loved drawing, reading, bedtime tales, and coming up with stories of her own.

Her emotional maturity was impressive, better than her father’s actually, and one of Steve’s favorite things about her. He’d never forget the day he went to pick her up from school and she’d been upset. When Steve asked her how he could help she had calmly explained what had happened, how it made her feel, and what she could do about it… over ice cream, obviously. It made him wonder what kind of person her other dad was like because she had clearly not learned how to communicate like that from Tommy.

And the thing is, Steve had always wanted a kid, ever since he was young all he wanted was a family and even if Tommy wasn’t great he just couldn’t make himself leave the connection he felt with Tarja. And he couldn’t just come out to Tommy and say: ‘Hey I wanna break up, but I’d love to keep seeing your kid,’ that would land him at best a punch, at worst in jail.

There was also the fact that, no matter how much he tried to deflect, Tommy’s comments were starting to get to him. Maybe Tommy was as good as he’d get, maybe he was dumb and uninteresting and the only thing he had going for him was his looks, maybe this was his only chance for a family. So he stuck it out. Cherished the times when they were all together.

And then he met Eddie.

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[chiqelatasblog]

In the Middle of the Night🌙

-> Ao3 link is here.

-> Part Four is here.

Pairings : Bi-Han/ Sub- Zero x Reader, Kuai Liang/ Scorpion x Reader, Tomas Vrbada/ Smoke x Reader

Author’s Note : I apologize for the delay! The past couple of weeks have been incredibly stressful for me. I had several meetings and had to write protocols for my client’s case. Additionally, I visited a friend who was staying in a different province, four hours away from where I live. Everything seemed to overlap (and to top it off, even my menstrual cycle was 17 days late due to the stress). But now, everything seems to be settling down, and I’ve managed to clear my mind and focus on writing this chapter as soon as possible. I decided to split this chapter into two parts because I felt it would have a better impact, and I wanted to give the final chapter its own spotlight. I hope you enjoy reading it! Thank you for your patience and understanding.❤️

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CHAPTER FIVE : (READER)

Until now, you never thought that you could fall in love with three people at the same time.

You didn’t realize a few months ago that such a thing was possible, but now it felt as natural and normal to you as breathing. It was as if Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, and Tomas had always been a part of your life. You got used to their presence so easily that now it’s hard to imagine your life without them; you were so attached to them. It was a fact that you didn’t know them until a few months ago, but although you couldn’t quite describe it, it felt as if your souls had known each other for a long time. Your movements resembled pieces of a jigsaw puzzle—they were so complete. There was a nonverbal communication between you; sometimes you could effortlessly communicate without speaking, even just by looking. This situation was very special and unique for you, as you had never made such a connection with anyone before.

Each moment spent with them felt like a blessing. When Bi-Han’s stern gaze softened just for you, it made you feel cherished in a way you had never experienced before. Kuai Liang’s calm presence was a sanctuary, a steady anchor in the chaos of life. And Tomas, with his unyielding loyalty and kindness, filled your heart with warmth and light. The bond you shared with them was deeper than mere friendship. It was an unspoken promise, a silent understanding that no matter what happened, you would stand by them. You hadn’t yet said it out loud to any of them, but you loved all three with a special bond and emotion. Your actions and looks might have betrayed your feelings, but you lacked the courage to put it into words.

You would find yourself watching them, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude and affection. The way Tomas’s eyes glinted with mischief when he teased you, or how Bi-Han’s rare, gentle smiles made your heart flutter. Kuai Liang’s reassuring touch or kiss on your shoulder during moments of doubt spoke volumes about his unwavering support. Each of these little things cemented their place in your heart, making it impossible to imagine a future without them.

They had become a part of you, woven into the very fabric of your existence. And even though the words were yet to be spoken, your heart had already made its choice. They were the kind of people you would want to keep hidden in your heart forever, to protect and watch over.

Loving Tomas was like experiencing spring. He wasn’t as serious as his two brothers; he was polite, with a naivety that softened the expression in his light gray eyes, making them irresistible to look at. Despite the scars on his soul from a very young age, Tomas was brave. He was the first person to choose to trust you, and that trust felt like a precious gift. His sense of humor was not only funny but remarkably similar to yours, making your conversations a source of endless delight. His presence was like feeling the gentle warmth of the sun after the harsh cold of a long black winter. Every moment spent with him was filled with hope and joy, like the first flowers of the season blooming and signaling new beginnings.

His love was tender and kind, much like the soft rain that revives the earth after a prolonged drought. Being with him allowed you to embrace your inner child, escaping the harsh realities of life. You found joy in the simple pleasures of watching TV shows or movies together, taking care of mundane tasks, having small, meaningful conversations, and spending time with Ninja. His ability to bring simplicity and happiness into your life made every moment with him feel like a cherished memory in the making.

Loving Kuai Liang was like experiencing summer. His body was warmer than normal due to his pyromancy, and you found yourself surrounded by a gentle, safe warmth next to him, especially when wrapped in his strong arms. It was such a soothing feeling that most of the time, it made your eyelids feel heavy and sleepy because of the peace you felt. Although touching Kuai Liang was wonderful, he was afraid to touch you because of his dark past, fearing that he might tarnish you. When you heard that, it felt like you had been shot in the brain, and your heart painfully squeezed thinking about what this strong man had been subjected to. None of them had told you exactly what they had been through in the past—you knew bits about what happened with Leilani and a few other masters, but nothing more—but it wasn’t difficult to guess. So you left it entirely up to them to control the speed at which they wanted to move forward in the process. You wanted them to know that they had this power, that they had a say.

Every time you spent with Kuai Liang filled you with a vibrant energy, warming you to the core like basking in sunlight. His love was wild and passionate, yet he was also incredibly kind; it set your soul ablaze, much like the intense heat of a scorching day. You felt comfortable next to him, his presence enveloping you like warm summer nights. You enjoyed walking outdoors with him, cooking together with his help (especially since discovering his distinct fondness for sweets last week), chatting about past missions, and witnessing the proud expression on his face when you asked him to show his powers.

Loving Bi-Han was like experiencing winter. His true self, which emerged after overcoming his initially harsh and inaccessible exterior, exuded a unique warmth that demonstrated winter was not just about coldness. Like soft snowflakes falling to the ground in the serene beauty of a winter landscape, his touch was gentle and filled with longing. Though not as openly expressive as his two brothers, you could sense his love in the way he touched you or looked at you every time. Despite the coldness that seemed to envelop him, his gaze held a warm invitation that melted away the chill, filling you with a warmth that drew you to him.

Unlike Kuai Liang, Bi-Han was not one to avoid contact. Although the ice forces surrounding him usually caused harm to both himself and others, this rule didn’t seem to apply to you. Since realizing this, it was as if he couldn’t stop touching you. He never verbalized it, but every time a part of his body—his arm, hand, or leg—came into contact with yours, it was evident how much he cared. Though his touch initially felt cold and eerie, you soon grew accustomed to it, even finding it addictive. Despite appearances, Bi-Han served as the cornerstone among the brothers, keeping them united and shielded with his protective and steadfast demeanor. Being included in that circle filled your heart with love and made you feel special.

Even though Bi-Han was the last to let down his walls around you, getting used to him was quick and effortless, much like with the other brothers. You enjoyed conversing with him about his clan, listening to him describe his daily routines, and especially watching the city view in the evenings. The silence felt peaceful rather than suffocating, allowing for a range of unexpressed emotions to be felt in that moment. Moreover, witnessing his moments of care for Ninja when he thought no one was watching was another detail that melted your heart.

You were deeply connected to three men in a way that scared you a little. Your emotions were incredibly intense—the love you felt for them, their choice to trust you despite their painful pasts, the respect you held for their strength and courage, your anger at the injustices they faced, and your desire for revenge. You had never experienced such emotions so clearly and intensely, shaking you to the core. It was somewhat frightening, as your priorities suddenly shifted to them instead of yourself. Your sole focus became freeing them from the clutches of the book and its curse, with less than a week and a half remaining until the deadline.

Despite your efforts, you hadn’t found a solution yet. Since the owner of the book could only summon them once, you wouldn’t be able to see them again after the time limit passed. The thought of this damned you, filling your heart with great fear at the prospect of what they might face if Sektor failed to protect them when he came to retrieve the book after you, and it fell into the hands of a new person.

You were prepared to do whatever it took to prevent this outcome, but the lack of a solution filled you with terrible anxiety and drove you to the brink of madness. Just two months ago, your biggest concern was unemployment and paying rent, but now your problems had evolved into something entirely different. Your own worries seemed insignificant compared to the future of the men you loved. Breaking this curse had become the most important thing in your life right now.

Bi-Han’s change in attitude towards you had somewhat lessened the effect of the curse on you. However, it remained a relentless force, constantly gnawing at you in a corner of your mind. Whenever you were close to Tomas, Kuai Liang, or Bi-Han, it seemed to roar in your mind, filling you with a desire that was hard to resist. Your skin practically begged you to touch them, and sometimes the desire was so intense that it felt like you were engulfed in flames—it hurt and clouded your judgment, making you feel almost foolish. At times, the urge became so overwhelming that finding refuge in the bathroom seemed to be the only solution. While your fingers didn’t always provide the satisfaction you sought, they at least allowed you to regain some semblance of control. But the lingering feeling in your mind never disappeared. It was akin to eating without feeling satiated—it was relentless and unyielding.

Each passing day seemed to bring a new level of torment, as if the curse intensified with every sunrise. The pain became unbearable, almost akin to torture. You couldn’t eat, sleep, or even think properly in the last couple of days. Functioning normally seemed impossible, and at times, it became so overwhelming that even breathing felt like a challenge. You didn’t know how to endure this any longer. You were painfully aware that each day was worse than the last, and yet there seemed to be no end in sight. You were drowning in a sea of agony, struggling to keep your head above water.

Despite the agony you endured, you were determined to bear the burden alone. You knew that all three of them wanted to help you, hating to see you suffer. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to accept their help. You didn’t want them to be involved with the curse in any way. Forgiving and moving on with your life would be impossible if they intervened, so you chose to ignore them and continue caring for yourself in your own way.

Thrusting your hands into the pockets of your raincoat, you gazed up at the reddening sky, returning from yet another unsuccessful job interview. How you wished the answer lay somewhere out there. You had tried everything written in all the sources you could access, masking your disappointment even as each failure chipped away at your hope. Trying to guess how they felt and what they were thinking only added to your frustration, yet you refrained from showing it, knowing they needed your support more than your despair. In the ten years since they were cursed, they had endured far more disappointments than you had faced in two months. You could imagine how futile it must have felt for them to continue hoping. They had exhausted their strength fighting disappointment after disappointment, opting instead to cherish the present moment—a reality that broke your heart a little.

The fact that they had accepted their situation and grown tired of fighting weighed heavily on you. Yet, you couldn’t blame them for choosing this path. Instead, you took it upon yourself to fight for them. However, with each passing day and no solution to the curse in sight, a heavy weight descended upon your shoulders, threatening to crush you. Despite the growing despair, you knew you had to keep fighting for them. You were their only hope, their only chance at breaking the curse.

Witnessing them struggle against the influence of their past only intensified your own turmoil. Despite Tomas sometimes managing to fall asleep, there were nights when he woke up with unfamiliar eyes, as if he didn’t recognize where he was, his body stiffening as if his breath would be snatched away. Occasionally, you were able to calm him down in the morning, but even then, Tomas seemed powerless against his own imposing body.

Kuai Liang, on the other hand, often woke up drenched in sweat from nightmares, avoiding your attempts to soothe him. He repeatedly muttered about his fear of contaminating you too, leaving you barely holding yourself together as you fought the urge to tightly embrace him. His pain was palpable, almost physically hurting you.

As for Bi-Han, there were times when he hadn’t slept for days, his body tensed with the need to protect them from imagined external dangers, leaving small traces of ice and freezing cold wherever he passed. Rings of exhaustion encircled his eyes, his face taking on a statuesque and lifeless appearance, his gaze fixed on the windows and doors. It took you hours to convince him that there was no imminent danger and coax him into relaxation.

All three of them exuded danger; their capabilities to take lives were apparent from their looks and the threatening aura they emitted. Their muscular, powerful bodies spoke of a lifetime of training for combat. This reality became especially clear when they touched you—it was too easy for them to cause harm if they chose to. They possessed a suppressed power that pained you to witness. Despite being honorable men, it must have wounded their pride and soul to see themselves in such a vulnerable state.

Your train of thought was abruptly halted by the sound of someone calling your name. As you lifted your gaze from the sidewalk, you were met with the sight of a stranger standing beside Sektor, the same man you had encountered weeks ago under rather peculiar circumstances. Sektor, as formal as ever, greeted you, his black hair streaked with long gray tufts and his neatly trimmed beard suggesting recent grooming. Standing beside him was a figure who exuded an otherworldly aura, his piercing blue eyes unsettling and filled with an uncanny intensity. With a formal gesture, he crossed his arms, revealing intricate dragon tattoos that seemed to shimmer with an ethereal glow, mirroring the luminance of his gaze. Despite the chill in the air, there was an unexpected warmth in his smile as he uttered your first and last name, as if he had been anticipating your arrival.

You stood frozen, momentarily taken aback by the presence of the enigmatic figure before you. Tentatively, you ventured, “Lord Liu Kang?”

“Yes,” came the calm reply, confirming his identity. Despite his formidable stature and commanding presence, his voice carried a soothing timbre, putting you somewhat at ease. Strands of his long, obsidian hair were gathered in a half bun behind him, dressed in traditional Far Eastern attire, his hands were swathed in bandages, to his hand to elbow. It was surprising to see him in such ordinary garb, far removed from the divine image you had conjured in your mind. Yet, there was an undeniable aura of power and authority that emanated from him, accentuated by the eerie glow of his tattoos and the intensity of his gaze.

“Sektor has briefed me on the situation and the curse,” Liu Kang continued, taking a deliberate step forward. “May I have a word?”

As you silently nodded in agreement, Liu Kang motioned for you to follow him, leaving Sektor behind as the two of you made your way to a more secluded area, away from the crowd.

“Do you know how to break Quan Chi’s curse?” you voiced the question that had been weighing heavily on your mind since you first laid eyes on him. As a god, you assumed he held the answers to questions and problems that eluded mortals.

“It’s a curse I’ve encountered before,” he replied, his demeanor calm yet tinged with a hint of anger that simmered beneath the surface. “An ancient and demonic curse, leaving behind lasting damage, particularly to the mind. I am familiar with how to dispel such curses, but the solution is not one you will easily accept.”

“I want to save them.” Your voice suddenly became muffled, the tears that filled up as you thought about this situation and tried to hold them back, now that the three of them were not around, instantly began to flow down your cheeks. If you were a little embarrassed that you were crying in front of this man-god you never knew, the helplessness and grief you felt was even greater. “I can’t let them go back to the book again. What needs to be done to lift the curse? Please tell me, this has to stop.”

“You possess a pure heart,” The Fire God’s gaze fell upon you, a mix of sorrow and compassionate understanding that softened his features. “It has become increasingly rare to encounter individuals like you in this day and age… Black magic is inherently cruel, and so are its remedies,” he continued, his expression growing solemn. “There is only one method to lift the curse: the owner of the book must make a sacrificial offering of themselves.”

You fell into a stunned silence, grappling with the weight of his words as they reverberated in your mind. Your lips parted, but for a moment, it felt as though words had deserted you. Eventually, you managed to utter a whisper-like voice.

“So, what you’re saying is…”

“Death,” Liu Kang interjected sharply, his tone cutting through the air with finality. “This curse, rooted in ancient and potent sorcery, is designed by practitioners of black magic like Quan Chi to be unbreakable. The spell binds not only the cursed individuals but also the owner of the book, tethering your life energy to its pages until they return to its confines. Thus, any attempt to resist only serves to intensify the curse’s grip, compelling you to act against your will. The only path to freedom is through the ultimate sacrifice.”

Liu Kang’s gaze darkened with anger, a muscle twitching on his chin as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. His eyes, which seconds ago were warm and comforting, now blazed with righteous fury, their intensity piercing through the air like a searing flame.

“The curse is insidious,” he began, his voice laced with frustration. “It draws power from your life energy and intertwines it with their fate. As long as the owner of the book lives, the curse will persist. However,” he continued, his tone lowering to a solemn register, “if the owner willingly sacrifices their life, the curse will vanish along with the book, its source extinguished forever. It’s a trade-off, a cruel exchange that inevitably claims one side or the other. That’s the essence of black magic.”

You found yourself speechless, unable to even swallow past the lump in your throat. The gravity of Liu Kang’s words hung heavy in the air, casting a pall over your thoughts. Sacrifice your own life? The notion seemed incomprehensible, unfathomable, yet here it was, staring you in the face like an immutable truth carved in stone. With your family, dreams, and aspirations still within reach, could you bear to relinquish it all? Could you summon the courage to make such a sacrifice?

Strangely, these questions didn’t pierce your heart as much as the thought of never seeing all three of them again. Each day seemed more agonizing than the last, and you knew that the brave facade you wore didn’t fool anyone. Yet, you couldn’t bear the idea of burdening them with the curse’s weight and prompting them to take drastic action. You had found them too soon to lose them; the prospect losing them now felt unbearably cruel, like a dagger twisting in your soul. Their presence had became so integral to your life that you had actually forgotten what loneliness felt like.

You loved them, each with their own unique characteristics and qualities, with a possessive and fierce intensity unlike any love you had ever known. So when the answer came to you in a heartbeat, it didn’t scare you; instead, it settled on your shoulders like a comforting blanket, a peaceful weight that affirmed your resolve. Their needs, desires, and happiness were paramount to you, more precious than anything else in the world. As you reflected on the countless hardships they had endured, the thought of subjecting them to further suffering became unbearable. The power to end their torment lay within your grasp; you could not turn away from that responsibility. Though you couldn’t be with them in the way you longed for, you were determined to secure their well-being, even if it meant sacrificing your own life. They deserved nothing less than to reclaim the lives they had been denied for so long, to find happiness and peace in a world free from the curse’s grip.

“You don’t have to do this,” Liu Kang said, his voice soft yet filled with understanding.

“And shall I allow them to return to the book? No, I will never allow it,” you declared, your voice ringing with newfound determination. “I made a promise to them… My love for them eclipses all else, even my own life.”

Even as the curse neared its end, you couldn’t bear the thought of it being their final memory, tainted by your tears and suffering as each day brought more agony. You wanted to leave them with fond memories, to be remembered in a positive light. The idea of confessing your love to them seemed daunting until just ten minutes ago. Despite never feeling ready to bid them farewell, you knew it was inevitable.

“How am I to do it? With a knife?” you asked, your voice trembling with uncertainty. “I… I can’t take my own life. Will you help me?”

A myriad of emotions flickered across Liu Kang’s face, as if your question had unleashed a torrent of conflicting thoughts within him. You were taken aback by the sight of such ‘human’ emotions on the face of a god.

“I wish there were another way, one where you wouldn’t have to bear this burden alone,” Liu Kang sighed, his voice heavy with regret. “Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, and Tomas aren’t merely my chosen warriors; they’re also my friends—more than just allies. You are sacrificing yourself to save them; of course, I will assist you in any way I can.”

“And will you make it as painless as possible?” you asked, your voice tinged with a slight fear.

With a solemn nod, Liu Kang replied, “They will remember this act of immense bravery and courage for the rest of their lives. Your sacrifice, while saving them, will also haunt them forever.’’ You acknowledged it inwardly. Yet, the moment Liu Kang proposed the solution, your decision was made. You meant every word you said; they meant more to you than anything else, and you wanted them to reclaim the life that had been stolen from them. If sacrificing yourself was the path to ensure their freedom, then so be it.

“I want to bid them farewell,” you said, your gaze falling to the ground. “But the final act… I cannot bear to do it in front of them, especially Tomas. After what happened to his family, it would be too traumatic for him.”

‘’Of course,” Liu Kang replied, his voice filled with understanding. You gulped and lifted your gaze to the sky, silently observing the clusters of red clouds and the golden sun, its light waning as it prepared to set. The realization that this would be your final sunset weighed heavily on your chest, a palpable heaviness that seemed to anchor you to the ground. As you tried to swallow past the lump in your throat, a tear escaped, tracing a solitary path down your cheek. Your voice emerged hoarse, almost strained with emotion.

“I wish it hadn’t come to this. I would have cherished more moments with them.”

“Sometimes, even a god cannot interfere in the complex fabric of life,” Liu Kang said, tilting his head back to gaze at the sky alongside you. “Each thread is woven with its purpose and outcome. There are two paths before you, and the latter entails your choice to end your life. While I respect your decision, I must ask one last time: are you certain about this?”

As Liu Kang’s luminous blue eyes bore into yours, a sense of calm washed over you, a tranquility that spoke of acceptance and resolve.

“More than anything.”

***

As you returned home, it felt as though your body no longer belonged to you. You couldn’t recall how you had made the journey back; it was as if you had been moving through molasses, each step slow and heavy. Though your surroundings appeared blurred, your thoughts remained clear, cocooning you in a blanket of comfort and unwavering determination.

Upon softly opening the door, the scene that greeted you shattered what little remained of your heart. Bi-Han occupied the single seat he always favored, gently stroking Ninja’s head as the cat slept soundly in his lap. A rare, tender smile graced his lips, a sight that had become increasingly frequent in recent days. Meanwhile, Kuai Liang and Tomas sat cross-legged, engrossed in something on your laptop, their occasional laughter filling the room with warmth and joy. The serene atmosphere tugged at your heartstrings, leaving you both comforted and conflicted. How could you possibly break the news of your decision to them?

Caught in a state of frozen uncertainty, it was Kuai Liang who first noticed your presence. His expression of happiness dissolved into pure astonishment at the sight of Fire God and Sektor standing behind you.

“Lord Liu Kang?” he exclaimed, disbelief evident in his voice. As his words hung in the air, the rest of the brothers turned their heads towards the entrance, mirroring Kuai Liang’s surprise. They remained rooted in place for a few seconds before Bi-Han took decisive action. Carefully lowering Ninja to the ground, he strode forward to stand before Liu Kang, bowing his head respectfully in greeting.

“Lord Liu Kang.” Bi-Han uttered, his tone a mixture of reverence and warmth.

Liu Kang’s gentle smile widened as he placed both hands on Bi-Han’s shoulders, lifting him upright. “Bi-Han, it has indeed been a long time,” he acknowledged. His glowing eyes shifted to encompass Tomas and Kuai Liang, who had gathered behind Bi-Han. “It is truly a pleasure to see the warriors of the Lin Kuei, defenders of Earthrealm, and my friends once again.”

“The pleasure is ours,” Kuai Liang replied, his voice infused with warmth and sincerity as Bi-Han’s. They all expressed their respect and embraced each other in a brotherly hug, a sight that surprised you, especially seeing a god joining in. Engaging in small talk, their camaraderie was palpable. Bi-Han’s gaze then shifted towards Sektor, who stood silently beside you. His brow furrowed slightly, silently questioning his right-hand man.

“Sektor? You didn’t come all the way here just to show Lord Liu Kang, did you? It’s still more than a week until you’re supposed to take the book.”

Sektor didn’t answer, instead, when he gave you an evasive glance, Bi-Han instantly caught his gaze and his expression hardened. As he crossed his arms on both sides, the cold waves of air that began to spread over him tingled your skin.

‘’What’s going on?’’

‘’Bi-Han,” you interjected in a gentle, strained voice, struggling to suppress your emotions while the curse writhed inside you more cruelly than ever. The pain surged higher and more severe than you were accustomed to, causing your knees to momentarily tremble. Bi-Han easily grabbed you by the waist and pulled you to himself, his expression shifting from one of composure to one of anxious concern in an instant, causing your heart to flutter. Knowing how strict he was with himself about showing his feelings compared to his brothers, it filled you with happiness to see how much he had progressed in such a short period of time. It was the greatest proof of the depth of his feelings for you. Bi-Han was a stoic man, never one to show vulnerability. Seeing him like this now was both heartwarming and overwhelming. He was laying himself bare before you, offering his feelings on a platter, and you realized you could easily hurt him if you chose to, because he was showing you his vulnerability so openly.

“Are you all right?” Bi-Han’s hand gently cupped your face, his calloused fingers stroking your cheek. “Did you cry?”

At his question, Tomas and Kuai Liang turned their gaze toward you. You quickly composed yourself, the callouses on his hand providing a comforting touch against your skin. With a slight tremble in your voice, you managed a reassuring smile, your eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and sadness. You wanted to remain strong until the very end, to etch a lasting impression in their minds.

“I’m fine,” you replied, your voice surprisingly calm despite the turmoil within. You savored Bi-Han’s protective touch, the coolness of his skin a stark contrast to the warmth of his presence. The scent of cold and fresh snow emanating from him filled your senses, your fingers traced the contours of his strong features lovingly, committing each curve to memory. A lump formed in your throat, making it hard to swallow, as you fought back tears that threatened to spill over. Gently winding the few remaining tufts of his black hair into a small bun, you planted a tender kiss on his pale lips, conveying all your emotions in that fleeting moment. Stepping back, you caressed his cheek one last time, the rough texture of his short stubble a familiar sensation against your fingertips. Bi-Han’s expression grew increasingly worried, his furrowed eyebrows revealing his confusion as he searched your eyes for answers.

However, instead of offering an explanation, you gently slipped out of Bi-Han’s grasp and made your way to Kuai Liang, who stood beside him.

“What’s going on? Why are you acting like this?” Kuai Liang’s voice was laced with concern as he carefully cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs stroking your skin. You responded with a soft smile, kissing one of his palms before silencing him by placing your finger on his lips. His brow furrowed in confusion, the joy from moments ago fading from his face. You felt a pang of guilt for dampening his spirits, but you knew that everything you were about to do was for their well-being. They would no longer suffer, be exploited, or have their consent disregarded. They would reclaim their dignified lives, where they rightfully belonged.

As Kuai Liang fell silent, you withdrew your hand, savoring the warmth emanating from his body for what would be the last time. Despite his formidable appearance, he exuded a comforting aura, his skin radiating health, his stance unwavering. The faint scent of ash, a remnant of his pyromancy, mingled with the aroma of cedar reminiscent of summer nights, enveloping his bronze-toned physique. His amber-brown eyes, usually filled with determination, now held a soft, worried gaze as they met yours.

Struggling to maintain your smile, you rose onto tiptoe and pressed a gentle kiss to Kuai Liang’s lips. “It will be all right.” you assured him, though your voice faltered toward the end. Blinking back tears that threatened to cloud your vision, you swiftly moved to Tomas’s side before Kuai Liang could reach out to you once more.

There was an obvious panic on Tomas’s young face as he scrutinized you from head to toe with his gray eyes. You felt a pang of guilt for causing such distress. Though you kept your shoulders straight, reminding yourself of your purpose, and tried to maintain a smile, tears welled up in your eyes again when Tomas uttered your name in desperation. Instantly, you enveloped him in a tight hug.

“Talk to us, what’s going on? Did someone hurt you? Just give us their names,” Tomas pleaded, his muscular arms circling you protectively, as if he wanted to shield you from everything, even though you were the one who wanted to do the same for him.

You shook your head in response, planting a kiss on Tomas’s cheek. The faint scent of embers lingered around him, reminiscent of burning wood. Whether from his smoke magic or not, the smell defined Tomas—wild and free. Despite his formidable abilities as an assassin, his naive trust in you was evident. Stepping back, you met his gaze, his gray eyes almost appearing blue in the light. Though he possessed frightening strength and abilities, the vulnerability in his eyes told a different story. Swallowing back your emotions, you resolved that he wouldn’t suffer from the curse’s torment any longer.

You remembered how Tomas had reacted when the power went out a few days ago—it was as if everything had been reset that evening, despite the progress he had made since leaving the book.

“Tomas, it’s okay. You’re safe. You’re not in the book; look, I’m here. Your brothers are also here,” you reassured him, trying to calm his frantic state.

Thanks to the small fireball Kuai Liang created in his hands, Tomas became clearly visible. The silver-haired assassin stood frozen, breathing heavily, fists clenched, his gaze darting around erratically. Sweat matted his short hair against his forehead, glinting in the dim light of the room.

“Tomas,” you called softly again, reaching out to him, but Bi-Han stopped you, gripping your wrist firmly.

“He might hurt you,” Bi-Han warned, his voice harsh and protective. “He’s out of his mind right now, more like a cornered animal than a human being.”

“He’s just scared, that’s all,” you countered, disregarding Bi-Han’s warning. Carefully, you approached Tomas, making sure not to startle him further. “Tomas? Let me touch you, let me show you that you’re not there anymore.”

As you raised your hand to touch him, Tomas’s gaze fixed on you, his jaw clenched tightly. An angry, almost aggressive snarl escaped his lips. Bi-Han and Kuai Liang moved to protect you, but you signaled for them to stay put. Sudden movements and sounds would only agitate Tomas further.

“You’re not there, Tomas. It’s been two months since you came out of the book. You’re in my house, next to me. Look,” you reassured him, your hand gently touching his cheek. Tomas flinched violently, but he didn’t lash out. Though he remained as still as a statue, his gaze shifted to focus on you.

“You don’t want to scare Ninja anymore, do you?” you continued, noticing a slight softening in Tomas’s expression. A low, plaintive sound escaped his throat, resembling the whimper of a wounded animal. “Shh, everything is fine. I know, I know. Come, let me hug you.”

Gathering courage from his stillness, you wrapped your arms around him. Tomas melted into the embrace, his grip tightening around you as he took a sharp breath. Despite the pressure from his strong frame, you made no sound, understanding his need for this connection. As Tomas whispered your name like a prayer, your heart swelled with love and pain, wishing you could heal the wounds inflicted on his soul by the curse.

Your hand found the short tufts of gray hair, stroking them lovingly as you planted a kiss first on his cheek and then on his forehead. “I’m here. It’s all right, you’re safe, Tomas.”

And now you had the power to break this curse.

“You frighten me,” Tomas’s voice interrupted your thoughts, drawing your attention. His words echoed the fear and confusion swirling within you, amplifying the emotional turmoil.

You fought to maintain the dwindling smile on your face as you leaned in to kiss Tomas goodbye on the lips. Every touch, every gesture, was imbued with a depth of feeling that words could not fully express. It was a bittersweet farewell, filled with love and longing. Then, you turned to look at Kuai Liang and Bi-Han, their expressions clouded with concern.

“I love all three of you,” you whispered, the words heavy with emotion. For days, you grappled with how to express this overwhelming feeling, the realization that they had become the foundation of your world, each one holding a profound significance in your heart. The mere thought of voicing these sentiments once filled you with breathless anticipation, but now, as the words escaped your lips, they carried a weight you couldn’t bear alone. Indeed, the pain of the curse paled in comparison to the heaviness in your heart. “Please don’t be angry with anyone, okay?”

“Why are you saying these things?” Bi-Han’s voice cut through the air like shards of ice, his tone rigid and unyielding. Understanding his reaction became easier as you got to know him. He tended to become aggressive when he didn’t want to show his emotions – especially when panicked or afraid. This was one of those moments.

“To whom, why should we be angry?” Tomas’s voice conveyed his confusion. His genuine perplexity only served to deepen the ache in your chest, reminding you of the innocence he still retained despite everything he had endured. You took a deep breath, after stroking Tomas’s cheek for the last time, you stepped back. However, Kuai Liang stopped you by grabbing your arm.

“Tell us what’s going on.” he demanded, his voice taking on a tone you had never heard before. It was the first time you heard him speak like this. Despite his usual warmth and politeness, even when discussing his past, his voice now turned cold, almost resembling that of his older brother, but never had it been this harsh and demanding.

“I will lift the curse,” you stated firmly, leaving no room for argument. “It’s my decision, so don’t hate me or anyone in this room for this, okay? I want what’s best for you.”

“Don’t we have a say in this? And how will you lift the curse?” Kuai Liang’s tone showed his displeasure. He shook you, and the words came out as a snarl. The fire burning in his eyes was evident, his touch alarmingly hot. But behind this intensity, the concern and fear he felt were clear in his expression, open and vulnerable. “Speak!”

“This is a farewell,” Bi-Han said in a single breath, his words cutting through the tension like a knife. “You are saying goodbye to us.”

“No!” Tomas, standing up to Kuai Liang, grabbed your other arm and turned you around to face him. “Tell me it’s a lie.”

You swallowed hard. As your composure, which you tried to maintain, slowly crumbled, your lower lip trembled, and tears flowed freely. An expression of denial appeared on the faces of the three of them, indicating their refusal to accept what was about to happen.

“I’d love to,” you responded to Tomas. “But Bi-Han is telling the truth.” After inhaling deeply, you squared your shoulders and fought back the tears. “I love all three of you very much. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I made a promise, and I will keep it. I will set you free.”

“How?!” Bi-Han appeared in front of you with a roar, gripping your chin and forcing you to meet his furious gaze. “Whatever sacrifice you’re considering, I won’t allow it. Do you hear me?! You’re not doing anything! We will find another solution.”

“There is no other solution,” you said tearfully, freeing yourself from his grip and placing your hand on his. “I can’t set you free any other way, Bi-Han.”

“No. I said no damnit!” Bi-Han’s voice was adamant. “You stubborn woman, listen to me; I won’t allow it.”

“I’m so sorry,” you said, your voice trembling. “I wish there was another way, but it’s the only way, and I’m ready to fulfill it gladly. I’m not going to let you stop this.” You glanced over your shoulder at Liu Kang. The Fire God watched in silence, his gaze betraying a mix of sadness and anger at the injustice of the situation. “I am ready.”

As Liu Kang nodded his approval, an aggressive growl rumbled from Bi-Han’s throat, his dark, furious gaze fixed on Liu Kang now. Layers of frost and sharp ice began to grow on his skin, a chilling armor of determination as he prepared to confront a god to protect you. It was evident that while they respected Liu Kang deeply, you held an even greater significance to them in that moment, compelling them to face him in order to shield you from harm.

“Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t come close—” he warned, his voice carrying the weight of finality.

“I have the utmost respect for you, Lord Liu Kang, but if you take one more step, I will have to attack you.” Tomas’s voice pierced the tense air, devoid of its usual warmth, cold and chillingly clear. His bright eyes, once filled with warmth, now darkened and focused with an intensity that chilled you more than Bi-Han’s powers.

Aware that what you were about to do would haunt you forever, you steeled yourself. Despite the weight of your decision, there was no other choice. Your sole aim was to bring an end to this ordeal swiftly and without further harm. The thought of anyone else being affected by the curse was unbearable.

“Nobody’s going to do anything,” you said, turning your gaze away from Bi-Han and fixing it on the wall behind him. You couldn’t bear to meet their eyes. “I order all three of you to remain in your places and not to move.”

Your command hung in the air, heavy and tense. A suffocating silence descended upon the room, broken only by the sound of their ragged breaths. This was the first and last time you’d give them orders. It was for their sake, but it didn’t ease the guilt gnawing at you. You’d betrayed their trust. A few more tears escaped down your cheeks as you walked towards the book on the kitchen counter, still avoiding their gazes. You easily slipped out of Bi-Han’s loosening grip, determined to see this through to the end.

As you mentally prepared to pick up the book and materialize into the Fire Temple, it remained stubbornly unmoved. Furrowing your eyebrows, you tried to lift it with both hands, but it felt as if the book weighed a ton. A searing heat radiated from your fingertips to your hand, threatening to melt your skin and expose your bones if you held on any longer. With a small whimper, you pulled your hands back, and Liu Kang came into view.

“The curse knows what you’re about to do, that’s why it won’t let the book move.” He explained.

“But… if we can’t take it with us—then…” you trailed off, a sense of helplessness washing over you.

“Yes,” Liu Kang replied in a carefully flat voice.

“I don’t want them to witness this,” you said, your eyes flickering to the three men you held dear. Their faces revealed a tumult of emotions—betrayal, concern, and fear all intertwined. Despite their futile attempts to defy your command and approach, their efforts proved fruitless. Veins protruded on their skin, and deep furrows etched across their foreheads, with Tomas even beginning to bleed from his nose. Knowing there was no alternative, you fought back a fresh wave of tears, though they continued to betray your resolve. “All right,” you sniffed, quickly dabbing your eyes to dry the tears, lifting your chin to meet Liu Kang’s gaze once more. “Do it quickly, please.”

“Liu Kang!” Kuai Liang shouted, trying to launch the fireballs that appeared in both his hands but failing because of some kind of invisible wall that forced him to stay still. “Don’t you dare hurt her!”

“Get away from her!” Bi-Han said furiously. “I swear, if you touch her, I’ll fucking kill you!”

“No, you won’t hurt him.” In as soft a voice as possible, the second command poured from your lips. “This is my last plea to you, please don’t hurt anyone.” Your gaze turned to Sektor, who caught your wordless request. With silent steps, his head tilted to the ground, he approached, took out the hunting knife from the scabbard at his waist, and handed it to Liu Kang.

“No!” Tomas struggled on the spot, shouting, trying every way to break free from the order that was suppressing him. It destroyed you to feel the desperation in his voice. “No, Sektor, stop! Lord Liu Kang, don’t do this. Please!”

“Place your hand on the book. I know it will hurt you, but I will make it as quick and light as possible,” Liu Kang said, falling deaf to the screams behind him. However, there was a weight in his voice that made him seem more mature than he was. You did what he said, taking strength from the gentle expression on his face to keep you calm. A sizzle rose up in your flesh. You bit your lower lip and held yourself back from squealing in pain. You were going to handle this quietly; you were going to stand strong for them.

‘’Repeat after me: as the keeper of this book, I offer a pact. I unbind Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, and Tomas from the Lin Kuei Clan, the chains that tether them to this book, in exchange for the sacrifice of my own life. From this moment onward, they shall walk free from this curse. My blood and my life shall seal these words.’’

After you echoed his words, despite the screams and chaos around you, Liu Kang delivered the first stab with the knife from Sektor. When the blade pierced under your ribs, you gasped sharply. The pain was more sudden and searing than you had anticipated. Your balance wavered, and the burning pain in your hand seemed insignificant compared to the deep cut now bleeding beneath your ribs. As your misty gaze fell on the book under your hand, you saw the length of the cut forming there.

“Stop! By the elder gods, please stop! Bi-Han, brother, stop them!” Tomas’s desperate cries rang in your ears. Turning your head to him, you murmured in a voice hoping to comfort him.

“It doesn’t hurt, I swear.” Tomas’s expression shattered, his gray eyes shining with unshed tears, making him look younger and more vulnerable than ever. “It’s okay, everything will be okay.”

When Liu Kang raised his hand for the second blow, you closed your eyes. At that moment, Bi-Han’s furious, despairing voice cut through the air, filled with deadly determination.

“Liu Kang, she’s innocent! Stop it now, or I swear to you—No!” Bi-Han’s voice rang out as the knife plunged into your stomach. Your knees buckled, and you collapsed to the ground, but you kept your hand on the book despite the pain. Your hand went numb, whether from the pain or from the nerves being destroyed, you couldn’t tell. Everything had become a big ball of agony. The metallic taste of blood rose in your throat, filling your mouth. You coughed to avoid choking, and blood splattered around, some of it flowing down your lips.

‘’It’s okay… It… Doesn’t hurt.’’ You managed to murmur, the words feeling foreign on your tongue. Your lips felt numb, as if disconnected from your voice, and your tongue seemed to weigh heavy in your mouth.

“Don’t lift the curse, stop!” Kuai Liang’s cries were muffled by the pounding in your ears. Everything around you blurred into a chaotic whirl of colors and sounds, like trying to focus underwater. Each breath was a struggle, a battle against an unseen weight pressing down on your chest. Despite the pain, you clung to consciousness, fighting to stay present amidst the overwhelming haze of approaching death. “Don’t take her away from us. Please, Liu Kang, stop this madness! Let the curse stay, we want it back. Give it back—Just stop!’’

Liu Kang didn’t stop. As he lowered the knife for the third time, aiming for your heart, you felt a deep slit open in the cover of the book under your hand. Despite the excruciating pain, a weak smile formed on your face as you realized the curse had finally been lifted. It was over. They were free now. You could feel the pressure of the curse lifting, and you knew they must have felt it too. As blood continued to rise from your throat, flowing relentlessly from your lips like a crimson cascade, Liu Kang hesitated before withdrawing the knife, gently lowering you to the ground. Numbness crept through your body like tendrils of frost, slowly engulfing your senses. The pain, once sharp and all-consuming, now ebbed away like a receding tide, leaving behind a dull ache. As your vision blurred and darkness encroached, you could barely discern the outlines of three figures, their forms wavering like shadows in the fading light.

You tried to talk. To say that it doesn’t hurt, you’re glad that you finally lifted the curse and set them free, to say that you loved them with all of your heart even words cannot describe how you felt for them. But the words tumbled meaninglessly from your lips, your tongue felt too heavy and it became increasingly difficult to breathe.

“Shhh, don’t talk. We will save you, qīn’ài. Everything’s going to be fine.”

You felt a hand on top of your head, the gentle caress tracing soothing circles. It was Kuai Liang, you surmised from the familiar touch. His fingers moved with care, each stroke bringing a fleeting warmth that chased away a fraction of the cold surrounding you. Then, a sudden pressure on your wounds jolted you, eliciting a sharp whimper that escaped your lips.

‘’You foolish, stubborn woman! We won’t let you go, did you hear me? Don’t you dare give up on us now. I’ll make your life hell after the act you pulled.”

Bi-Han’s words echoed in your ears. Despite the harshness of his tone, you detected the underlying concern beneath his façade, acknowledging the conflict in his emotions. Each breath became more labored, and you wished desperately to convey your remorse to them. But deep down, you knew that if faced with the same choice again, you would make it without hesitation. Because your love for them outweighed everything else. Yet, as another cough wracked your body, you realized that words were futile. Numbness enveloped you completely, and the chill in the air seeped into your bones, causing you to shiver uncontrollably. You surrendered to the encroaching darkness, unable to resist its pull.

Your heart beat weakly one last time, then stopped completely.

***

Author’s Note: My apologies for the cliffhanger! But I’ve already started writing the next chapter, so you won’t have to wait too long again unless something important comes up. Also, I’ve decided to turn this into a series, as I have a couple of ideas brewing. If you have any suggestions or ideas, feel free to share them with me on my blog. If I find them interesting or relevant to the story, I’ll incorporate them into it and give you credit.✨

[queenshelby]

Daddy Issues (Part Five)

Pairing: Dominant!Cillian Murphy & Shy!Reader (& Jamie Dornan)

Warning: Smut, BDSM, Daddy Kink, 4-Somes, 3-Somes, Sugar Baby Arrangements

Summary: Through your best friend, you meet actor Cillian Murphy and come to some kind of arrangement involving intimacy in exchange for being spoiled financially.

Written with: my beautiful wife @darkshelbyfiction

As you were bustling around behind the bar, juggling drink orders with a forced smile, you noticed a familiar face through the crowd and, immediately, your heart skipped a beat.

"Shit!" you cursed internally, quickly regaining composure and turning towards the approaching figure.

Cillian, dressed impeccably in casual attire, sauntered towards you with a charming confidence that made him irresistible to most women. His perfectly chiselled features gleamed seductively under the dim lights, accentuating his naturally rugged good looks. Even as he approached, you could sense an underlying energy emanating from him that sent waves of nervous anticipation coursing through your veins.

With his tousled hair and piercing blue eyes, he was a sight that could turn any head in the room and this, clearly, included your employer Michelle who eagerly jumped in front of you to serve him.

Michelle was shamelessly batting her eyelashes in his direction, and for some reason, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

"Oh, for God's sake," you mutter under your breath, rolling your eyes at Michelle's transparent attempts to catch Cillian's attention, but he ignored her.

Noticing your displeasure, she raised an eyebrow at you questioningly. Ignoring her, you focused on serving other customers.

Cillian stepped closer, his magnetism impossible to ignore. "Can I get a drink?" he enquired politely, looking directly at you without missing a beat. There was a challenge written plainly in those piercing blue eyes of his. Feeling cornered, you hesitated slightly, uncertain whether to decline his request or oblige.

Why was he here, you wondered. Did he come specifically to find you? Or perhaps, fate had simply brought you together once more. Either way, despite your determination to remain distant, the fact that he sought you out left you flustered beyond belief. Taking a deep breath, you managed to gather your composure and, with an inner sigh, answered, "Of course! What would you like?"

As you poured his drink, you couldn't help but notice the subtle twitch of arousal running through his body.

The atmosphere thickened with pent-up lust, a heavy presence filling the empty spaces between you. And as you reached out with trembling hands to place the drink in front of him, your fingertips brushed against his, sending sparks shooting through you both. This connection was undeniable, igniting a fire that threatened to consume you both.

"So, tell me, Cill, how are you? Are you here with friends?" you asked casually, deliberately attempting to maintain some distance. Though your body language betrayed you, communicating a fierce yearning for physical intimacy, your voice remained steady and collected.

"No. I am here on my own, to see you actually," he replied easily, effortlessly sliding onto a chair across from the bar. Despite your best efforts to appear indifferent, you couldn't help but glance furtively at his handsome physique, his shoulders tapering elegantly into his waist. You took a deep breath, desperately reminding yourself not to fall prey to his mesmerizing charm.

"If this about me paying you back, I am working on it," you asserted confidently, attempting to mask your turmoil. However, Cillian's gaze never faltered from yours, and his smile held a hint of playful teasing.

"It is actually. Emma told me that you have taken extra shifts just to come up with the money. She said that you are struggling with your studies because of it, and I just wanted to make sure that you know that I do not need you to pay me back. In fact, I won't even accept the money," he murmured softly, placing his glass down gently.

There was a slight pause in the conversation as both of you processed these revelations. Your defenses weakening slightly, a small blush crept across your cheeks, causing his expression to soften slightly in response.

"I appreciate it Cillian, but I need to pay you back. It's the right thing to do. Despite, you know you could have called about this, you did not have to come here, right?" you queried tentatively, fighting hard to resist the mounting temptation to give in to his alluring appeal. You knew the risks involved yet still found yourself drawn to him, like moth to flame.

"I could have, yes," he retorted, flashing a crooked grin that set your pulse racing wildly. "But, I wanted to see you Y/N."  His tone was unmistakably suggestive, conveying an unspoken promise that echoed between the two of you just as Michelle swooped in again and reminded you that you had other customers.

For a brief second, his gaze diverted to hers with an annoyed look. However, he swiftly refocused his intentions solely on you, seemingly dismissing her entirely.

"I will finish up in an hour. We will talk then, okay?" you said to Cillian who agreed with a silent nod before, throughout the evening, you served countless patrons, growing more frustrated with every passing minute. The persistent sexual undertone only heightened your desire for release.

Eventually though, your shift came to an end. Exhausted but relieved, you went straight to the restroom to change out of your uniform. Upon returning, you saw Cillian waiting patiently, sipping his beer.

Without further ado, you walked toward him and extended your hand. He looked surprised for a split second before grasping it firmly, drawing you close enough to smell the unique fragrance of his cologne. Glancing deeply into his striking blue eyes, you felt your resolve crumble away as the heat within them engulfed you wholeheartedly.

"Come with me. Lets talk somewhere more privately," you suggested impulsively, allowing yourself to finally succumb to the powerful pull of attraction. He gave you a mischievous smile, appreciative of your audacity and followed closely behind as you led him out the side entrance of the bar.

Once outside, you stumbled upon a deserted alleyway, lit sparsely by intermittent streetlights casting eerie shadows along its walls. It provided just the right amount of seclusion needed for your little talk which, much to your surprise, Cillian jumped into right away.

"You never called me," he began abruptly, bringing your thoughts back to reality. Your mouth fell open briefly before you managed to compose yourself.

"It didn't feel proper considering that I owe you money. It would have made me feel like I am repaying you with sex," you admitted honestly, causing Cillian to cock an eyerbrow.

Cillian then chuckled, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Payment in sexual favors, huh? I never even thought about that," he joked and you quickly shook your head.

Your eyes widened in shock, and you couldn't help but stammer, "I-I didn't mean to suggest that this is what you were after. I am sorry. It would just...I mean that's how I would have felt about it I suppose."

Cillian laughed, genuine amusement lighting up his face. "Relax, Y/N," I was just joking but, for what it is worth, I don't expect sex just because I paid for your car. This is not how I roll."

Letting out a relieved sigh, you nodded. "I know that. I am sorry," you murmured before making an admission. "It's just, you have a bit of reputation when it comes to women and I... I don't know..." you stammered before Cillian interrupted you.

Cillian arched an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "A reputation, huh? Well, shouldn't that be a bit more intriguing then?"

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the blush that crept onto your cheeks. "Perhaps, Cillian, but honestly, why me? You could literally hook up with anyone you want, like models and the like."

Cillian let out a genuine laugh, shaking his head. "Models? I haven't met many of them, but the ones I have met were either full of themselves or couldn't hold a conversation. What's the fun in that?"

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, a mix of surprise and flattery washing over you. "You think I'm smart and attractive?"

Cillian leaned closer, his eyes locked with yours. "More than that. The fact that you're shy, innocent, and absolutely unaware of how incredibly sexy you are... it's a huge turn on for me and I realised that when you did not call," Cillian admitted and you shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, feeling a warmth spreading through your body.

"But I get it. If this goes against your moral compass or if you would rather hang out with someone your own age, then that is totally understandable. No pressure. Honestly," he then went on to say and you were torn between your desires and your reservations.

You took a moment to gather your thoughts. "Well, I don't want a relationship, but I also don't want to be second or third choice for you. Nor do I want to be just an occasional hook-up. You are rumored to sleep around a lot and it worries me," you told him honestly.

Cillian's eyes softened, and he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear. "These are just rumors Y/N, and you won't be second or third choice."

You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Which means what? That you just come to London occasionally, sleep with me, but then sleep with nobody else? Is that even enough for you?"

Cillian smirked, his voice low and filled with promise. "It would be if you're... how do I put this... if you're into what I'm into. If you allow me to take care of you, and I don't just mean financially."

Your lips curled into a mischievous smile. "So you do want to be my sugar daddy?"

Cillian laughed, the sound sending shivers down your spine. "I prefer not to put a label on it. I honestly just want to have some fun with someone I can trust. And, by doing so, money shouldn't be something you need to worry about. You could take fewer shifts, spend more nights with me."

You playfully nudged him, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Right... Well, that sounds a lot like what Jamie and Emma have going on."

Cillian shrugged, a devilish glint in his eyes. "Maybe, yes. But what does it matter?"

You couldn't help but feel a mixture of excitement and uncertainty bubbling inside you. "I suppose it doesn't."

Taking a deep breath, you met Cillian's gaze head-on. "So, if I was to agree to this, would that mean that I get to call you daddy? In bed, I mean. Like, you know... in an intimate kind of way?"

Cillian laughed, a low, rumbling sound that made your heart skip a beat. "Sure, if you want to."

A mischievous glint danced in your eyes as you continued, teasingly. "And you would come to London, right? Meet me at your hotel room and make me do things? You would take charge, right?"

Cillian's gaze smoldered with desire, his voice dripping with promise. "If you want me to, then yes."

A playful smirk danced on your lips. "Well, maybe I do. And maybe we could go to your hotel room now and you can give me a little taste of what it would be like if you were in charge."

Cillian raised an eyebrow, a smoldering look in his eyes. "This is an intriguing proposition. But remember, there's no pressure. If this isn't for you, then-"

You interrupted him, a mischievous smile playing on your lips. "Then this won't work. I know. But maybe it is for me. Maybe I am yet to surprise you."

You turned towards him, stealing a quick glance to gauge his reaction. His eyes burned with hunger, mirroring yours almost exactly.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, a hint of hesitation clouding his once confident demeanor.

You nodded without wavering, feeling the thrill course through your veins. You wanted this – you knew you did.

Tags:

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[aquaglow]

I've been reflecting a lot about this because I've been seeing a lot of people talking about this, both irl and on social media — "this" being a great collective anxiety about the fact that adulthood involves a lot of losing friendships. Whether because your values no longer align or because you've lost contact over time, growing up has a lot of hardship in maintaining friends and even more when it comes to making new ones. I see a lot of people talk about the loneliness of having once been a person with large and multiple friend groups who now only has a handful of close acquaintances and only one or two people who are real friends.

I'll be honest, I think this anxiety comes from a lack of perspective about what life outside of social media really is. I think social media and its aspect of (seemingly) endless availability has warped people's senses as to what a relationship actually is. Texting constantly with someone, commenting on their posts, always knowing what they're up to through a screen and all that may fill your "social gauge", but it's not a strong foundation for actual long-lasting friendship. And actual long-lasting friendships are rare items, not the common rule. It's perfectly normal, and actually more in tune with reality, to not have huge, expansive groups of friends, and have a tight connection to only a couple of people throughout life.

Long-lasting, tight-knit relationships require conscious effort, alignment of values, emotional availability and responsibility, free time... And a certain element of luck, of being lucky enough to always keep being there for someone and having them be there for you too. It's not something easy to keep up with even one person throughout life, let alone large, multiple circles. In my personal experience and opinion, people who have an endless list of friends often find themselves to be the loneliest people, because they only manage to keep their relationships at a surface-level. We should all feel honoured and extremely privileged if we can find even one person to really share life with, because that matters way more than having a community of mere contacts on your phone.

[shadypeacebouquet]

A/n: This is an iwaizumi x reader fanfic.hope it helps to keep up with your delulu-ness ;))

Warnings : my bad grammer , slight suggestive scenes ( I know you pervs gonna read it anyways -) ) ,my knowledge in vollyball.

Summary: A lifelong friendship with Iwaizumi Hajime blossoms into love as subtle moments and unspoken feelings come to light during high school. After an intense volleyball match, a heartfelt confession changes everything, transforming your bond into a deep, romantic connection.

ENJOY READING!

Beyond the game

*********************************************

From the moment you met Iwaizumi Hajime, your lives were entwined. It wasn’t an accident that you became best friends. In fact, it seemed inevitable. From the day you both toddled around the same playground, laughing and exploring together, there was an unspoken bond that bound you in a way no one could understand. You had always been inseparable—no matter how much time passed, you found yourselves back in the same place, always.

When you were younger, Iwaizumi was the protector. No one dared to hurt you in any way, because if they did, they had to answer to him. You’d laugh it off, rolling your eyes at his overprotectiveness, but deep down, you appreciated it. He wasn’t the type to make a scene, but when it came to you, something in him always changed. Whether it was the way he’d walk you home from school every day or how he’d glare at any boy who dared to look at you for more than a second too long, it was clear that no one—not even the boys who tried to flirt with you—would get close.

You’d smile, give them a polite "no thanks," and then retreat behind Iwaizumi, who, though silent, had an aura of danger that sent even the bravest souls running. You never thought much about it, never questioned his intentions. He was your best friend, your protector, the one person you could always count on.

And then, things started to change.

---------------------------------------------

High school started, and you knew things were different right away. Both of you had entered with high expectations—academically and socially—and you were ready to take on whatever came your way. The transition wasn’t easy, but having Iwaizumi by your side made it bearable. He was still the same Iwaizumi, cool, collected, and indifferent to everyone around him.

You decided to join the volleyball team as the manager, not just because you loved the sport but because it would give you even more time to spend with him. Iwaizumi had grown into an exceptional player, and you were proud of him, but there was an underlying desire in you to be closer to him. Being part of the team meant you’d get to see him in his element, and that, in turn, would bring you closer.

He was never the type to openly share his thoughts, but somehow, you could always read him. The way his brow furrowed when he focused on a drill, the way his lips curled into a rare smile when you brought him his favorite drink during practice—those small moments were your silent communication, and you treasured them.

Yet, as you continued to spend time with him, something started to shift. It was subtle at first—an extra linger in his gaze, the way he’d sometimes catch your eye from across the gym and quickly look away. But as time went on, you began to notice it more. There were moments when he’d brush your hand just a little too long when passing a water bottle or lean just a bit closer when he handed you his jersey after practice. Each touch seemed intentional, even if he never said anything about it. You weren’t sure if you were imagining it or if he was doing it on purpose, but the line between friendship and something more felt more blurred with every passing day.

One late afternoon, after a particularly intense practice session, Iwaizumi was exhausted, but you noticed him standing at the edge of the court, staring into space as the rest of the team celebrated their hard work. You had become accustomed to his quiet demeanor after games, but there was something different about the way he stood there that evening. The usual Iwaizumi was the one who threw himself into the hustle, relishing the victory. Tonight, though, there was something else in his eyes—something that made your chest tighten.

“Hey, Iwa,” you called out, walking over to him. You tried to keep your voice casual, but something in you was desperate to break through his wall.

He didn’t immediately answer, his focus still on the floor in front of him. But when he heard your voice, he turned, meeting your gaze with an intensity that stopped you in your tracks. For a split second, there was something in his eyes—something raw—that made your heart race.

“Everything okay?” you asked, suddenly nervous.

“Yeah,” he replied, but his voice lacked conviction. “Just... tired.”

You tilted your head, studying him. "Tired of volleyball? Or something else?"

Iwaizumi hesitated for a moment, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know,” he muttered, his voice rough, almost uncertain. “It’s just... a lot sometimes. The pressure, you know? The team... they look to me, and sometimes I just wish I could escape it all.”

You could see the frustration written all over his face. You hadn’t seen him like this before—vulnerable, uncertain. He’d always been the one who held everything together. For once, he wasn’t the strong, indomitable figure you knew.

You took a step closer, placing a hand on his shoulder in an effort to comfort him, but you could feel the heat radiating off his body. He didn’t shrug you off, but there was a noticeable tension in his posture.

“Iwa...” You began, but you didn’t know how to finish the sentence. The words were there, but they didn’t feel like the right ones. “You’re doing great. You don’t have to carry all of this on your own, you know?”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. His eyes lingered on yours, an unspoken understanding passing between you. It was only then that you realized the truth—you had always known Iwaizumi, but you’d never known him this way.

---------------------------------------------

The next few weeks felt different. Every time you were near him, there was a palpable tension in the air. The touches were more frequent, more purposeful. The lingering gazes were longer, heavier. It was almost as if the two of you were standing on the edge of something you couldn’t quite name but both felt inevitable.

It wasn’t just Iwaizumi. You could feel it too, the way your heart would race when he was close, the way your stomach would flip when he smiled at you. The feeling that had always been there between you—comfortable, easy, a friendship that ran deeper than anything—was morphing into something else. Something complicated.

Then came the night that changed everything.

It was the night of the big game—the final match before the regional championship. The gym was packed with students, teachers, and parents. The air was thick with anticipation, and the players were all focused, ready for the game of their lives. As always, you were there on the sidelines, clipboard in hand, organizing the team’s supplies and keeping everyone on track. But your eyes were constantly drawn to Iwaizumi. He was in his element, dominant, powerful, the star of the show.

You watched him as he served, as he spiked the ball, as he dove to save a point. Everything about him was mesmerizing. But it wasn’t just the game. It was the way he interacted with you. Every time he needed water or a towel, he’d seek you out, his eyes locking onto yours, and for a moment, everything else faded. The world around you disappeared, and it was just the two of you, caught in a quiet, unspoken connection.

The game was intense, but you were used to this by now. It was the feeling afterward that would stick with you—the way Iwaizumi rushed toward you, his eyes sparkling with excitement after the final, victorious point. The entire team celebrated, but all you could focus on was him. He was panting, sweat dripping down his face, but when he looked at you, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked straight toward you.

Before you could react, his arms were around you, pulling you into a tight hug. His grip was firm, his body warm, and for a moment, you lost your breath.

“We did it,” he whispered, his voice strained with emotion. “We actually did it.”

You laughed, breathless, your heart racing. "Yeah, you did."

You didn’t know what came over you, but in that moment, with him holding you like that, everything you had been avoiding seemed to spill out. The pressure that had been building for weeks, months, exploded inside of you. You pulled back slightly, your hands resting on his chest, and your eyes locked with his.

“Iwa…” You whispered his name, unsure of what you wanted to say.

He didn’t wait for you to finish. Instead, in one swift movement, he leaned in and kissed you.

The kiss was nothing like you expected. It was hard, passionate, hungry, as if the restraint he had been holding back for so long had finally snapped. You responded immediately, your hands clutching at his shirt, pulling him closer. His lips moved against yours with urgency, as though he couldn’t get enough.

When he finally pulled back, both of you were breathless.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he admitted, his voice rough, his forehead pressed against yours.

You couldn’t speak, only nod, your heart pounding in your chest.

“I’ve been scared,” he continued, his eyes searching yours. “Scared that I’d ruin everything between us.”

“But you didn’t,” you whispered, smiling softly, “You never could.”

And with that, everything changed. The years of friendship, the quiet love, the moments of unspoken tension—it all came to fruition. There was no going back now.

You were no longer just best friends. You were something more. Something neither of you had the words for—yet.

---------------------------------------------

The weeks following that night were a whirlwind. Everything about your relationship with Iwaizumi changed, but it didn’t feel wrong. It felt right in ways you couldn’t explain. You spent more time together outside of practices, learning each other’s quirks in ways you never had before. And every moment felt like a new discovery.

The world had started to shift around you, and with each new challenge, each new kiss, each new shared secret, you both began to realize that love had been there all along. It had just been waiting for the right moment to bloom.

But the path ahead wasn’t without obstacles. As much as you tried to keep your newfound relationship quiet, the whispers started. The team noticed, the other students noticed, and before long, you and Iwaizumi were no longer just the best friends people knew. You were a couple.

At first, it felt overwhelming. It wasn’t just about the game anymore—it was about navigating the delicate balance between love and friendship, between public expectations and private desires. But through it all, you had each other. You always had. And that was enough.

It wasn’t just about the volleyball matches or the long practices. It was about the quiet moments in between, the ones when no one was watching, when you both let down your guard and allowed yourselves to be vulnerable. With every touch, every kiss, you grew stronger, more certain that what you had wasn’t just a passing feeling.

It was love. And it was real.

[greenheartart]

I'm not very good at this sort of thing. I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything at all, since this has always just been my silly little safe place for loving Undertale. Not a place for other things, especially political stuff. But then it felt weird not to say anything. To just continue on and pretend nothing has happened and everything's okay.

Because it's not.

The fact that Trump has managed to get reelected is horrific. I've spent the last two days oscillating between dread and disbelief and burying myself in games for hours on end, just to try to forget about the world for a while. Hasn't really helped, if I'm being honest. My body hurts from how tense I am and I can't seem to shake the stress headache at the base of my skull. It feels like there's no escape from it. It's everywhere online and when I leave my house, it's still everywhere I go, in campaign signs on lawns and in the conversations I overhear from strangers. All my friends are scared and anxious and angry and frustrated, and none of us know what to do about it.

And I imagine it's the same for many of you.

It's an exhausting thought that so many of us are struggling right now. I hate it, and I'm so sorry we're all going through this.

I guess what I want to say that I know I'm more of a background presence, even on my own blog at times, but if anyone needs someone to reach out to, I'm here. My inbox is open and so are my DMs. If you feel alone and need to talk to someone, or want a distraction from what's going on and want to talk about fandoms or pets or anything else, or hell, have even just wanted to say hi and have needed an excuse, please. Reach out, ask to chat, just say hi. I'll answer.

And I also want to say I'm not going anywhere. Maybe things will take longer for me to get to than I want for mental health reasons, or maybe I'll throw myself even harder into this to cope. Who knows. I just know that I love telling stories and I love making art, and I love getting to share that with all of you and getting to see you love it too. I'm horrified by the world right now, but that just makes me want to push back against the horrors harder in the only way I know how.

Community is important. Art is important. We have to find joy and connection wherever we can, especially when things are at their worst.

So... just take care, everyone. Do whatever you can to keep your head up and don't give into despair. I'll see you around soon. ♥

[punkpandapatrixk]

👠Your Life as A Celebrity — Timeless Pick A Card

A girl who is unapologetically herself is a beam of Light in this dark world that benefits from girls doubting/hiding/despising themselves. A girl who creates her own bubble of dreamy Reality becomes instantaneously a Celebrity! Any setting she walks into, she commands attention, as well as admiration.

In a world of digital connectivity where communication is easy, room’s aplenty for everybody’s Story. We’re a new generation of celebrity, babe—what are you choosing to be?☆People become Heroes to other people not because they’re infallible, but because in spite of their shortcomings they managed to overcome🤡

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – The People’s Dreamy Muse

VIBE: Marunouchi Sadistic by Utada Hikaru

your rise to celebrity – 7 of Cups Rx

You may consider yourself a bit timid and shy. You think you’re somewhat clumsy and more often than not deeply confused about what you’re doing with your Life. You can be random and scatter-brained, too! An abstract artist yourself, some of you may even deal with autism (of the high-functioning variety most likely) or dyslexia. Truth is, you’re this way because you’re inherently a dreamy creature. In fact, so dreamy you bring to Life people’s dreams and imaginations instead. There’s something otherworldly🧝🏻‍♀️/alien👽about you. So ethereal people think you should only exist in picture books and fairy tales (or manga LMAO).

You may not always be aware of this, but people want to immortalise you and make you a thing of their own. Artists secretly make you their Muse. Other people seem to always want to take pictures of and with you. Secret illustrations of you exist in people’s drafts~ Many people won’t be upfront about it (though they definitely show it) but they’re obsessed with you. Down bad, baby. Down, down on their knees so bad they’ll do anything to become your slaves—if you ever let them.

But you hardly let anybody get close to you, let alone enter your circle. You’re a natural born celebrity and you value your privacy. Some of you were literally born into fame or wealth, and you will eventually carve out a path of your own and continue to be famous. Some of you had past lives as famous and influential people (very likely to have South Node in Leo or 5th House, 10th House, or other placements to do with fame in a past life) and so being noticeably striking is a natural trait of yours. For that, you could get scouted to become a model, actress, idol, presenter, whatever really, and then you just naturally enter the scene.

Whatever the scale or industry may be, you were born for stardom—there’s just no other way around it, babe~🦋

your public image – VII The Chariot Rx

People see that you’re often unsure about your feelings, or that you do have a lot of feelings that seem to spill easily, and that sometimes you drown in your emotions. Some of you, you may even hide your feelings so well (you try), but people will still notice this about you. But your stories will be heard by everyone eventually.

How you came from a really harsh background emotionally and how you’ve managed to turn your past hardships into a magnificent Story that inspires. It wasn’t easy and you’re not always happy about how Life treated you in the past, but as long as your stories serve to save someone’s life, sanity, you’re cool with it. And people really appreciate you for that.

You are the kind of celeb that has a lot of sad, even tragic, stories (like YOSHIKI of X JAPAN) and your fans will want to dedicate a lot of love to you. These are the fans who say, ‘Oh, I wish I could just give them a warm hug right now.’ Your fans are hugely loyal and they talk about you to their friends and family, A LOT. They want to extend your stories to everyone who would listen.

Your stories are like honey gold, or unicorn fart, depends on what your preferences look like~ You can be glamorous, you can be amorous, you can be shy and sweet and sometimes out of control; but you’re eternally everyone’s dreamiest Muse~🪷

your impact/imprint – Page of Wands Rx

You, are, a, copycat manufacturer. Whether or not you try, whatever you do, everyone wants to copy. Name it all: fashion, hair, nails, voice, mannerism, but the coolest of all, your enterprise. Perhaps you write, in a specific dreamy/otherworldly fashion and there’s something ultra unique but touching about what you do, and now everyone tries to do the same because they know they’re gonna get attention that way.

It’s not an evil type of copycatting though; you’re just too original, too fresh, and people want to experiment with themselves by emulating you. In most cases, it’s also because you inspire people to level up themselves so they can become like you. But ngl, plenty of other celebs try to copy you with spite in their hearts, but you’re plenty aware of that, so you don’t really give a fuck. And your cold nonchalance makes you so enigmatic, elusive, that people can’t cease to speculate.

On top of that, no matter how hot or trendy you are, you’re not a sell-out. You won’t give in to corporate money if what it’s asking of you is a betrayal of your values. You have your own thing going anyway—you always will—so you’re not afraid of losing top-tier PR, lucrative contracts, expensive gifts, what have you. At the end of the day, only your true fans understand that your true Art as a celeb is the way you elevate people to the greater heights of their own potentials. You’re like Po in Kungfu Panda 3~🐼LMAO

LASTING LEGACY🔻💛

How A Biographer Would Write About You – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

How You’re Remembered by the People – Priestess of Illumination

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – A Soft Hero Holding A Blue Light

VIBE: Somewhere Near Marseilles by Utada Hikaru

your rise to celebrity – 9 of Wands

Your rise to fame is not an easy one. It ain’t a walk in the park the slightest bit. You worked really hard to be where you are, to have all the beautiful things you possess. You overcame a lot of challenges—mostly, challenges in your self-development. You weren’t always sure what you wanted to be when you grow up. You had vague, dreamy ideas but never were you certain because there were no signposts. You walked your Life with very few stars to guide your path on Earth.

You didn’t get told many times what your natural talents were, and those that you did showcase rarely got any praises. So you thought these abilities would never matter in the bigger world—that you would never be good enough at them to become a Star yourself. Growing up, you battled quite a lot with self-doubts and occasional self-loathing because you didn’t know if there would be a place for you in the world. You didn’t really know what you were put on Earth to do.

At some point in Life, there was a time you could only see the world as a battlefield and it was really painful to live in it. But after a painstaking process of healing yourself and making peace with the hardships that come with being Human, you triggered a miracle to stir. A shooting star of a very precious kind deep dived from the sky right into your bedroom, and suddenly, all your wishes were beginning to come alive one by one by one and one and on and on and so on.

Babe, your world fucking flipped~💃🏻

your public image – 2 of Pentacles

People see you as a bit of a tragic character; but they are enchanted. To them, you’re so fragile yet so inexplicably strong all by yourself. You’ve transformed yourself; gained your glow up in ALL areas of your Life. People are baffled at how such a soft creature could’ve endured the world’s hardest hardships yet remain so untainted. People want to know what you are made of and all the secrets to your courage, strong determination, as well as character. Most of all, how exactly did you flip your world? Ever curious are they, but no one could solve the mystery.

You are naturally soft and transparent, yet people can’t figure you out. There’s a wholeness of your spirit that feels too big to grasp. To a lot of people, your success story serves as inspiration. There’s something ultra Heroic in the way you’ve managed Life, and that alone becomes a lighthouse for others to believe in their own miracles as long as they continue to fight for what truly matters.

Your Light is so blindingly inspirational even if you feel like you’re not doing much. Your sheer existence gives people courage to fight for their Life. Those who are starting anew in Life are the ones who look up to you the most. But those whose hearts are too dark, those who are deeply scarred and afraid to do anything about their lives, those whose bandwidth of Reality is too different from yours, tend to hate you irrationally.

But truly it is because your softness, reminds them of what they have confused as their weakness.

your impact/imprint – XVII The Star

It’s pretty obvious, though unfortunate, that a lot of people find letting go extremely painful to do. Most people are often afraid of losing what’s familiar even when the familiar is no longer safe or comfortable. People are also often afraid of stepping into the unknown, journeying across unstable grounds, and that causes people to stay miserable with the known.

Something about you though, awakens a hidden courage in people. You’re that shooting star people are hoping to see on their balcony to wish their earnest dreams upon. People comment on your social media a lot, and even write beautiful handwritten fan mails, to tell you their feelings as well as gratitude. Even if they know you probably won’t read, they write anyway because when they write, it feels either like a catharsis for their pains or affirmation scripting for their wishes.

People just know that when they connect with your energy, something miraculous is bound to happen in their own Personal Reality. Not sure what that is; it is your personal touch of blue magic—the magic of profound self-alchemy~💠

LASTING LEGACY🔻❤️

How A Biographer Would Write About You – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

How You’re Remembered by the People – Priestess of Purity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – A Decadent Éclair Amongst Empty Croissants

VIBE: Tokyo Flash by VAUNDY

your rise to celebrity – King of Cups

In this world where people are underestimated for having emotions (because hardheaded logic is prized higher) you’ve always prided yourself in prioritising listening to what your heart tells you. Your strong intuition knows your heart would never lead you astray. In fact, it really hasn’t. And you’re proud of that—more like, you’re glad you’ve always been true to yourself, really.

Sure being this way has led to occasional alienation, but what’s it to you when you’re the one building, creating, and enjoyably living an awesome Lyfe you’ve made yourself? You’re the one having all the fun, and dang, all the money. And you’re happy. You’re doing all these things you’re passionate about. Because you never stopped listening to your singular truth, you’ve cultivated a unique skill that sets you apart from everyone else in your trade. A refinement you’ve been doing since you were a kid.

Whether or not you become a public figure, actually, you’ll always be that eccentric that draws attention. People like to flock to see what new art/invention you’re working on. Many of them are genuinely in awe; quite many of them secretly jest. Little do they know—weird as you can be, you’re a compassionate person who has a big enough heart to accept that not everybody can accept you.

You get where most people are coming from and why they are essentially afraid to accept you. Your heart is so incredibly kind~🍃Psst, amongst your fans, many are simps!🤪

your public image – 7 of Pentacles Rx

You’re a pro at your Art that gets everybody talking but they know they can never emulate what you’re doing. People know it takes way too much originality, which they’re painfully aware they don’t have; and they know it takes courage to express a singularity like yours, and they’re again painfully aware that they’re too much of a coward to even begin.

Ngl, something in your originality sends some people shrieking into self-deprecation just because they can’t help but realise they’ve wasted many years of their lives not pursuing their very own original passions. People are wont to hypnotise themselves to believe that their mistakes/wrong steps are justified, right? Just to pacify their sorrows/regrets. But when they see what you do, how you live your Lyfe, their old potentials haunt them like that motherfucker from The Ring👻

You inspire a lot of young people but make sad many old people who have nearly completely lost touch with their inner child. But you also rejuvenate those older than you who are still working on their dreams~🐣If anything, your guts resemble theirs so much that they feel relieved to know they still have a place in this strange world🌏

your impact/imprint – Knight of Swords Rx

You’ve always lived with a special courage to be unique; refusing to abide by rules let alone oppressed by set laws. You can be reckless, but that’s like a breath of fresh air in a society that’s strangling its own citizens. But you’re never really a fighter nor a warrior; you’re an Artist through and through. You’re setting an example (or more like a possibility) to live differently—against, even—society’s standards and expectations.

You’re not immoral; you just believe human beings are supposed to be FREE but governments have been criminally oppressive. What even are those questions about theft and murder? Free people who are happy, content wouldn’t deliberately hurt another person. Oppressed citizens who are deprived of resources, and subsequently the ability to feel joy, kill and steal from each other. In your lifetime, as an attempt to be somewhat of an “activist”, you are likely to quote this from Utopia (1551) many, many times:

‘For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.’ – Sir Thomas More, ah also, Drew Barrymore in Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)🤪

LASTING LEGACY🔻🧡

How A Biographer Would Write About You – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

How You’re Remembered by the People – Priestess of Fertility

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

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[tlbodine]

Overthinking Goosebumps: Monster Blood

Monster Blood was the 3rd Goosebumps book of the classic original series, released in 1992. It's one of the few books to spawn multiple sequels and repeat appearances, which I suspect is due more to Stine's enjoyment of the concept (and flexibility it affords) than it being a fan favorite. I don't know anyone who cites the Monster Blood books as their favorite. There's probably some MB stans out there -- shout out if you are -- I just haven't encountered them.

As a kid, I didn't love this book. I didn't connect much with the main character, who comes off as a bit of a whiner, and the premise didn't really grip me. I also thought it had one of the more boring covers of the original Tim Jacobus runs, since it's just some slimy stairs. That didn't stop me from having a folder with that art on it, which I actually still have and which contains a bunch of cringeworthy young writings from yours truly.

Weirdly enough I'm enjoying it more as an adult then I did as a kid. Maybe that's just the excitement of nostalgia talking. Or maybe I'm seeing and appreciating some things that didn't register or resonate with me as a kid. As an early entry into the series, Monster Blood is finding its footing in terms of tone and style. The formula had not yet been completely perfected, and I think some of its eccentricities are charming, even as other elements have not aged so well.

First, The Story

Monster Blood opens with a young Evan Ross pleading with his mother not to leave him with his weird, old, deaf Great-Aunt Kathryn. We quickly discover that his parents are in the process of moving for his father's job, and while they buy a house and get settled, Evan and his courageous-but-disobedient old cocker spaniel Trigger need to stay with the only available relative they can find -- his father's aunt, who helped raise her nephew but has been quite eccentric after going suddenly and completely deaf 20 years ago.

Evan's stuck with an old lady he can't communicate with and who's a complete stranger to him. Trigger, his only ally, is banished outside for barking at Kathryn's cat. And there is no TV, radio, Nintendo, or other entertainment in sight, aside from a very odd collection of books on science and...witchcraft?

Luckily, Evan does manage to make a friend in the neighborhood in the form of Andy, a girl who's a pretty solid 12-year-old manic pixie dream girl archetype. Andy is funny and bold and definitely shakes things up. Also on the block are twin bullies Rick and Tony Beymer, who enjoy such fun activities as beating up kids, stealing bikes, and tying up cats. They’re a couple little thugs.

Anyhoo, Andy shows Evan a weird curio/toy shop and Evan spends $2 on a dusty can of Monster Blood. At first, this substance would appear to be your regular everyday type of slime — it glows, it stretches, it squeezes, it oozes, it bounces. But over time it begins to change, growing, expanding, overflowing any container it’s placed in. It becomes warm and sticky to the touch and seems to suck and swallow anything in its path.

Worse, Trigger eats some of it and starts to grow, doubling in size until he’s a spaniel the size of a pony.

Everything eventually comes to a head in a collision with the twins, who attempt to steal the substance only to be subsumed by it as it spreads and grows. Aunt Kathryn steps in to intervene, revealing that she is responsible — she laid a witch’s curse on the monster blood that Evan brought home, presumably causing it to grow.

But it’s soon revealed that Kathryn wasn’t working under her own volition. Instead, she’s at the mercy of none other than her black cat Sarah-Beth who is in fact a witch in disguise and who has been controlling Kathryn’s actions this whole time, even causing her deafness in a bid to isolate her. The monster blood ploy was an attempt by the cat/witch to scare Evan away, or at least punish Kathryn for having a visitor.

Luckily Sarah-Beth doesn’t get a chance to act any further on her scheme before a giant size Trigger bowls her over into the monster blood. She’s absorbed, which presumably undoes the spell. Everyone but her is spit back out unharmed, Trigger shrinks to his usual size, and Kathryn even gets her hearing back just in time to explain everything to Evan’s mom who’s arrived to pick him up.

Happy ever after? You’d think, if you didn’t know there are at least three more monster blood books…

Overthinking It

From a critical perspective, the greatest failure of Monster Blood is its third act reveal. The curse is foreshadowed fairly, but Sarah-Beth’s motivation feels thin and slapped together, and none of it really makes a ton of sense. You live in the house with him. Why curse his toy slime, of all things? Why not just trip him on the stairs or bite him or something? If you’re the one calling the shots, why are you choosing to live as a cat? It reads like an ad hoc explanation on Stine’s part to make sense of two disparate plot threads at once: the mysterious slime, and creepy old Aunt Kathryn.

That said, I feel like we’ve glimpsed the very tip of an iceberg of disturbing backstory between these women. I think there’s ample evidence to suggest Kathryn was already involved in witchcraft. What was her relationship with the human Sarah-Beth? What soured it to the point that a powerful magic wielder is willing to live as an animal while exerting total control over someone, forcing her into complete isolation? That is dark and sadistic and I hope somebody out here has written the lovers to enemies fic that goes with it.

Kathryn’s backstory isn’t the only thing that feels like brushing past a glacier. I’m also deeply side-eyeing Evan’s parents. What we know is they’re having this discussion about moving in private. Their kid has to eavesdrop. Is everybody else they know *really* on vacation or is there something else going on that requires reaching out to an elderly relative you haven’t seen in at least a decade? Is it really easier to buy a house without your kid weighing in, or are you sorting out something messier in your relationship?

And that right there is, I think, the key to the actual horror of Monster Blood. It is above all else a story about lacking agency, and the struggle of having responsibility prematurely thrust upon you.

When we meet Evan, it’s easy to get annoyed with his whining. But his circumstance is terrifying. He’s alone in an unfamiliar place, with a stranger he cannot communicate with and whose ways and habits are alien. He is given no say in what happens in his life - he’s being ripped from a familiar school and friends and doesn’t even get a vote in the new house - and the only way he knows any of this is happening is he’s eavesdropped.

Not only is Evan isolated, he’s also forced into independence. Kathryn seems capable of doing the bare minimum to keep the kid alive, but he’s basically left to his own devices. Moreover, he has a dependent (his dog) in his care.

So what happens? He ends up quite literally over his head in a scenario that is growing too big for him.

There’s a nightmare pretty early in the book that is easy to call out as a fake scare. But it reads so neatly as an anxiety dream that I have had, that I hesitate to condemn it. Indeed, the whole book has a kind of feverish anxiety dream logic to it: I opened this can and now the stuff inside won’t go back in. It’s growing out of control and eating everything. My dog is growing out of control and I don’t know why or how to stop it. I can’t even hold onto his leash anymore.

This is classic stress dream stuff. This is the very personification of a loss of control. Faced with a problem, Evan tries to fix it and it grows beyond his ability to cope, but no one else can really help him. This is true for the overflowing monster blood of course, but equally true for the bullies who badly beat him, or the dog with a mystery ailment and a vet who can’t diagnose the problem.

That’s genuinely harrowing stuff.

There are a couple of solid scares in Monster Blood, but far and away the most horrifying is a scene where Evan, having been gone visiting Andy all day, suddenly remembers he needs to check on the dog penned up outside. He rushes out just in time to find Trigger panting and choking hideously, because he’s grown too big for his collar and it’s digging into his throat. Evan struggles for quite a while to free his dog, and we see every desperate rasp and frothing breath, his eyes rolling back, his legs buckling. It is genuinely scary stuff, both viscerally and in its implication. You’re all alone, Evan. You’re the grownup now, you’re responsible for another life, and if you screw this up nobody will help you…and problems are happening that you can’t even comprehend, much less solve.

No wonder the poor kid has nightmares!

I do feel we should spend a moment acknowledging some of the troubling aspects of Great Aunt Kathryn. I don’t feel qualified to weigh in on what her character means for Deaf representation but I have to assume it’s not great. Her apparent refusal to learn to communicate is hammered home again and again. That it’s magically induced and reversed at the end also feels not-great.

I’m also intrigued by her description as being “large” and “robust” and of having a curiously clear but “deep” voice. I get that this is probably just meant to play against the expected frail old lady archetype (it even gets lampshaded in Evan’s inner monologue) but it’s striking to me.

Or maybe I’m just busily mentally writing that “trans Kathryn and her scorned witchy lover” backstory fic. Somebody stop me before I actually write this damn thing.

If You Liked This, Here Are Other Things to Give You Goosebumps

When you’re a kid, strange old people are scary. They just are. It’s a trope R.L. Stine returns to again, most notably in How to Kill a Monster (which for my money is a better Goosebumps book).

But if that trope appeals to you, you may enjoy M. Night Shyamalan’s 2015 found footage horror, The Visit. Viewer beware, you’re in for naked grandma.

If the idea of mystery substances growing and taking over appeals to you, Stine revisits the idea (in a very different way) with The Blob That Ate Everyone, and of course all the subsequent Monster Blood books.

But I doubt this book would exist if not for 1958's The Blob, where a young Steve McQueen battles an indestructible blob from space. Or, for that matter, the reboots -- 1972's Beware! The Blob (a sequel) and 1988's The Blob (a remake, with a decidedly darker tone).

I'd also recommend The Stuff, a 1985 low-budget cult classic about 80s consumer culture and a mysterious substance that takes over the people who consume it. There's even a memorable sequence with a dog eating some and becoming...uh...different.

That's all from me for now. How about you? Feelings on Monster Blood? Did you ever kind of want some as a kid? Do you ever eyeball a can of slime at the store and think about this story? Come tell me about it.

[dollfacefantasy]

WORKS IN PROGRESS ♡

RESIDENT EVIL: 🝮 and i want it all - leon kennedy x fem!reader ⤷ you're the first lady, and leon is one of the secret service agents assigned to protecting your husband. why is he spending so much time around you then?

🝮 pound puppy - resident evil men x puppy-hybrid!fem!reader ⤷ an incident has occurred in d.c.'s military hybrid shelter. this is the report detailing that case.

🝮 room for one more part 2 - chris x fem!reader x leon ⤷ after last night, the mission commences. chris is more occupied with picking up the pieces between you and him.

🝮 needy girl part 2 - leon kennedy x fem!reader ⤷ wedding bells are ringing in your and leon's near future.

JUJUTSU KAISEN: 🝮 on a short leash - satoru gojo x puppy-hybrid!fem!reader ⤷ assigned to a mission he believes is below him, satoru gojo struggles to get along with the girl he's been tasked with protecting.

🝮 so this isn't just puppy love part 2 - satoru gojo x fem!reader ⤷ suguru's back home. you and satoru have to manage your new connection with your owner overseeing the both of you again.

🝮 lost in the fire - yakuza!sukuna x fem!reader ⤷ no one rips off ryomen sukuna. after your father tries doing just that, you're offered up to the king as penance for his crimes.

🝮 since he's been gone - satosugu x fem!reader ⤷ satoru and you picked up the pieces together after suguru left. but since he's come back, things between the three of you have been a little bit different.

🝮 love for the highest bidder - toji fushiguro x stripper!reader ⤷ toji finds you to be a much better addiction than the races.

🝮 training wheels - satoru gojo x fem!reader ⤷ ddlg with gojo lol

THE WALKING DEAD: 🝮 good cop, bad cop - rick grimes x fem!reader x shane walsh ⤷ the group on the farm can't decide what to do with you after catching you out on a run, so shane takes matters into his own hands. he can't let a pretty thing like you go to waste.

🝮 be my baby - rick grimes x fem!reader ⤷ ddlg request for rick

🝮 adore me - rick grimes x fem!reader ⤷ rick's always wanted a big family. the white picket fence, the wife barefoot & pregnant, the sounds of kids playing echoing down the hall. while that can't necessarily be a reality anymore, that doesn't mean he can't dream about it still.

🝮 cry if i want to part 2 - negan x fem!reader ⤷ sequel to the last one

MARVEL: 🝮 i wanna be yours part 2 - logan howlett x puppy-hybrid!fem!reader ⤷ logan and puppy girl continue feeling out their relationships as new obstacles arise with her being part of the x-men.

🝮 lucky charm - logan howlett x fem!reader ⤷ there's always room for the wolverine at the table. and with him, always comes his lucky charm.

🝮 kick back and relax - old man!logan howlett x fem!reader ⤷ logan can't sleep so you gotta show him how to kick back and relax.

🝮 we can't be friends - logan howlett x fem!reader ⤷ for the last time, you and logan are JUST friends. why can't everyone else understand that already.

🝮 i'll make it feel like the first time - logan howlett x fem!reader ⤷ you were never close to your universe's logan. that doesn't mean you can't be close to this one.

🝮 true love waits - scott summers x yandere!fem!reader ⤷ for as long as you've known scott summers, you've known he's the one for you. he might not know that yet, but it's ok. because true love waits.

🝮 girl talk - ororo munroe x fem!reader ⤷ you and storm are so close. even if you weren't a telepath, you're pretty sure the two of you wouldn't need words to communicate.

🝮 and i mean that - matt murdock x fem!reader x elektra natchios ⤷ it's been years since you've seen matt and elektra, your two lovers from college who burned bright but fast. tonight you spot them at a party. together. without you.

🝮 i wish i hated you - frank castle x fem!reader ⤷ frank cannot stand you. the fact that he can't stop hanging around you doesn't make that any less true.

🝮 lock and key - frank castle x fem!reader ⤷ request for soft dom/ddlgish frank

DC: 🝮 undone - jason todd x fem!reader ⤷ it's the end of the night, and it's jason’s turn to take you apart.

🝮 where you lead - jason todd x fem!reader ⤷ you finally have the chance to make your dreams reality. why does jason have to be so hellbent on getting in the way of that?

🝮 if i was a rich girl 2 - bodyguard!jason & bodyguard!dick x fem!reader ⤷ the sequel

🝮 hey jealousy - clark kent x fem!reader ⤷ clark isn't the jealous type. you on the other hand...

🝮 puppy love - clark kent x fem!reader ⤷ clark loves you like a dog loves its master.

🝮 the only exception - clark kent x puppy-hybrid!fem!reader ⤷ there's nothing in this world clark kent loves more than his puppy girl <3

THE BOYS: 🝮 collared & leashed (not clickbait) - billy butcher x fem!reader ⤷ when billy finds out his baby likes the idea of wearing a collar, he does what any man in their right mind would. he goes out and buys one for you.

🝮super fan - soldier boy x fem!reader ⤷ as soldier boy's biggest fan, he lets you stroke more than just his ego.

DEATH NOTE: 🝮 spin the bottle - light yagami x fem!reader x l lawliet ⤷ you wanna play spin the bottle with the two men handcuffed together. they indulge you for reasons of their own.

🝮 last day on earth - light yagami x fem!reader ⤷ only light knows it's your last day on earth. but for someone he loves so much, he wants to make it a good one.

🝮 body count - yandere!light yagami x fem!reader ⤷ light makes mistakes sometimes. he'll never admit to them, insist that all his actions are apart of his plan till the very end. but you leaving is undisputedly not part of the plan. it's also something he'll never allow.

🝮 life and death - ryuk x fem!reader ⤷ ryuk knows he can treat you better than light.

works not yet titled: 🝮 arranged marriage with gojo 🝮 toji and gojo pornstars 🝮 toji and gojo mma 🝮 satosugu hybrid freaktacular 🝮 rick grimes wedding ring drabble 🝮 dry humping w/ jason todd 🝮 dollification w/ dick grayson 🝮 stepdad!leon & his bestie chris 🝮 satoru gojo x clingy!reader 🝮 rookie munch leon drabble 🝮 chris & leon polycule fic 🝮 baby daddy!sukuna