#im just so fucking sick its always the same thing im tired

[orpheuslament]

people with massive saviour complexes will look at an extremely damaged person whos been carrying a fuckton of baggage all their life convince themselves they can fix them somehow & then get mad when it inevitably does not work

[cicidraws]

i miss how i felt before this year.

[minnieposting]

my ocd is actually going SO CRAZY RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[itsalwaysdark]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[xviruserrorx]

I don't understand why people get frustrated at things they knew were gonna happen because someone else is chronically I'll and it's happened multiple times before so it's not like it's new, like oh yeah sorry for existing like this

[huellitaa]

𓏲˳˚⊹ 🧸 become obsessed with yourself.

you are stupid. i said it. there. you are stupid.

let me get this straight. you are out here listening to these people who make you insecure. you are listening and actually giving a shit about people who put you down, make you feel unworthy, inferior, less of the absolute goddess that you are. you people please, you go above and beyond to help people & change yourself for people who would never do the same and for what. for people to like you? honey nobodys gonna like you. you dont even like yourself.

listen ml you need to get your priorities straight. sit down for a sec. like. just sit and genuinely ask yourself "what do i get out of this? how does this serve me?". go on, ask yourself. all these people who constantly think theyre better than you, that they can walk all over you, the ones that dont care a bit for you with their actions even if their words say otherwise, all these habits that only make you feel more low, more insecure, and dont align with where you wanna go in any way, shape or form. honey how in the hell does any of this serve you ???😭😭

i am sick to death of seeing the word selfish everywhere the moment somebody steps up and is brave enough to try and better themselves. the amount of times ive gotten "youre so selfish" or "youve changed" or "you werent like this before" jst because i got out of the most severe depression of my life where i came close to being unalive so many times is riDICULOUS and just shows how normalised insecurity and people pleasing is nowadays.

you see, people are always trying to follow the trend, follow the leader, follow everyone else nowadays. nobody actually honours what they want & that is a reflection of their own insecurity and traumas and emotions they are too scared to face. do you really want that for yourself? youve got such big dreams, such big potential, but what on earth do you do to fulfill them?

i dont think you realise just how limitless you actually are. you can do anything. we are all born the same. its only those with the courage to get up and try who will reach what they want and achieve greater things.

GET OBSESSED WITH YOURSELF. i am so DRAINED and TIRED of caring about what people think. i like something? im gonna do it. i dont care. fuck people pleasing. what are they gonna do when youre rich and famous and successful and thriving? YOU ARE THE ONLY VALIDATION YOU NEED. life is so much easier when you genuinely could not care less, like you just dont give a single shit. you are the only person who knows you inside out and will be there with you 24/7 365. it infuriates me how self hatred is so normalised nowadays. like what the actual fuck, why would you wanna spend your entire life hating the only person whos gonna be with you every second without fail, when you are perfectly capable of reversing that???? its ridiculous.

get up. get obsessed with yourself. the only validation you should be chasing is your own. pull yourself together girl. this is ridiculous. you are so much more than this. start acting like it. be ur own biggest fan. be ur own bestest friend. everything you need is already within you. u got this. 💕

all my love 💓✨💗💘🎀💖

[moneymartin]

・❥・- one more?

summary: kate comes home tired and needy :( part two to this fic. build up drabble to part three

warnings: none! fluff cause its kate :3 this is kinda shorter than the last one soz. again, every divider is a skip. most are constant cuz im lazy. didn’t know how to end oops!!!

rpf dont read it if ur uncomfy thx

a/n: all yjs reqs r still itw soooo they’ll be out soon poopies 🙄 also my single part drabble for kate is lowk marinating in my drafts and i don’t have the motivation to finish it…

its been 5 months since you and kate finally ended up together. pretty long, right? but you two never really got the hang of this thing, especially after remembering how long those feelings between you two had been brewing up for. it was still hard for you to show up to her games and practice due to soccer season, and the second it ended, you showed up to nearly every single one of them.

“i really can’t come this time, baby, i told you!” you grumble while kate drags you across the dorm. they had their practice game at carver today but you couldn’t make it, which made kate upset. “dilanni is gonna kill me if i don’t show up.” your soccer team needed to show up together for this fundraiser, and it was during the offseason. fucking lame. you hated letting her down all the time but some things like this just needed to be done.

kate’s fingers grip at your sweater sleeve, her eyes soft, and lips slightly pouting. “can you please just say you feel sick!? you’ll finish quicker than i will and it’s not like they won’t let you in.” she begs and tugs a little at it. her height makes you a little overwhelmed but she’s slightly bent at the knees and trying to make herself seem smaller than she really is. “kate, its just practice. its not like its the final fours yet.” you sigh and make her stand up straight. your eyes dart to hers and you bring your hands up to cup her face. the way she leans into your touch makes your face flush up like never before.

“yeah, but you always show out! i know we’re still trying to keep this on the down low still but i love pointing at you in the crowd before i make a shot during our practices.” she complains, trying to pull her head away from your hands but you keep her in place like a vice. your thumb brushes up against her face and she sighs under her breath. all those shots that she makes have all been for you ever since. and you didn’t even know that. everything she did on the court was meant for you. “i’ll make a deal with you, okay?” your words make her feel a little bit better and she nods ecstatically.

“when you get back we can do whateverrrr you want to make you feel better about me not showing up. does that sound good?” you propose, the idea crossing your mind after you realize that she just wants to spend that time with you while her teammates try to piece together this big puzzle. none of them know other than caitlin, and they’re completely unaware of you and kate’s relationship. “yes! okay, deal! deal deal deal…!” she blurts out and smiles stupidly, leaning her head towards you again as a sign that she wants a kiss.

you give it and let go of her face, wrapping your arms around her waist quickly and pressing another big kiss to her cheek. “don’t work yourself too hard out there.” you breathe out and pat her back before letting go of it. “this fundraiser should only be an hour, trust me.” kate just shrugs and smiles again, less big but you still know that she’s pretty happy at your little proposition for when she gets back. the moment you walk out of that door, her face drops and she rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck. she’s alone now, and doesn’t know what to do. you’ve been with her for every game and every practice so she’s lost most of her motivation to go. “aw, dang it..”

after your little fundraiser, you come home exhausted and dreary when you realize kate is gone too. you two are exactly the same person, lost without one another. it’s cute but sometimes it’s hard. this whole relationship thing is such a different concept and it makes your head hurt. the lock clicks on the door and you dig through your closet, finding a pair of pjs and some small shirt kate likes seeing you wear for ‘some reason’. which is what she says every time you ask.

a quick change and your casual clothes scatter across the floor before you basically face plant into the pillows. a warm feeling fills up your body while you fall asleep, a feeling that seems different still without kate. you two always sleep and take naps together so this is another thing you have to get yourself used to.

the stupid fundraiser ran longer than it should have. at least another 30-45 minutes extra and you weren’t very prepared for it. kids were all over the place too and you were somewhat on babysitting duty? according to your teammates. you stood with all the kids for at least an hour and the questions they asked you were probably the stupidest things ever.

the sound of the door opening is what wakes you up, fingers instinctively rubbing your eyes and sitting up. you’re met with the sight of kate rummaging sluggishly through her backpack and taking out clothes. she mumbles out a small ‘hi’ and yawns, walking into the bathroom. the sound of the shower hits your ears and you just lay back down, trying to keep yourself awake to fulfill that proposal you made earlier.

a few moments after the shower turns off, the bathroom door opens and your mattress shifts in weight, a few drops of water coaxing you to open up your eyes. kate is sitting on the edge of the bed and she tucks herself in, burying her face into your neck. “how was practice?” you mutter, moving her wet strands of hair to sprawl out on the bed. she grumbles into your neck instead of instantly responding. “tiring, huh?” you ask.

“extremely.” she whispers breathily and looks up at you. kate’s eyes are slightly droopy and her lips are pursed. your arm wraps itself around her back and you tilt her head up with your hand, making her look up at you as you start rubbing her temples gently. kate’s eyes are opening and closing continuously while your fingers continue to massage her head and she huffs heavily a few times.

you push kate’s head into your neck again and slide your hands onto her shoulders, patting them gently to make her fall asleep easier. she doesn’t though. instead, she hoists her head up and quickly locks her lips with yours, grabbing your waist and holding herself up with her arms. her fingers are gripping at the bedsheets tight and she’s kissing you a little bit too hard. not that you mind, of course. “mmmf.. hey?” you pant and pull away from the kiss, making eye contact with kate and realizing where she’s placed her hands.

“i’m just kissing you.” kate mumbles and doesn’t even bother waiting for you to finish catching your breath. she kisses you again, propping herself up on her elbows and grabbing your arms to wrap around her waist. “y- yeah! but like… let me get a breather at least.” you laugh quietly. you’re still trying to catch your breath and the more you try to get away, the more persistent she becomes. “c’mon. you’re just sleepy, baby. get your butt to bed and you’ll be alllll good in the morning.” you smile and push her shoulders down.

kate ends up falling onto your body and her nose brushes up against your cheek, her lips running up and down your neck as she starts kissing all over it. “one more..” she rasps out and slides her hands underneath your shirt. she starts to claw your back a few times, whining into your neck when you try to push her away. “kate, please.” you grunt and pull back, nearly falling off of the edge of the bed.

her face is the same one as earlier. her big, pretty blue eyes going soft and her lips pouting. she looks like a sad puppy and you hate it. you hate how you can’t say no to it. “just one more! this is the last one and i’ll sleep, i swear.” kate spits out and tilts her head to the side. she yawns, her eyes getting watery and now you know that it’s basically over for you. “i can’t.” you mutter. “yes, you can. it’s just one more kiss, babe. please?!”

“all you have to do is give me one, and i’ll sleep!”

“you say this all the time! you’re gonna say that you’ll ‘sleep after’ but the second my lips land on yours, you’re gonna act like an animal.”

“that’s not true.”

“oh, yeah? watch.”

you cup her cheeks and she grabs your waist gently, your lips going in for one quick one. when she feels how warm you are and how much you’re trying to really prove a point, she just helps your claim anyways. kate’s lips are against yours again, kissing hungrily.

i mean, she’s practically eating away at your face.

[cuntryhuman]

Im sorry not sorry but genuinely

If you believe all of Christianity is a cult, you are not inclusive. Any religion can become a cult. People who hate Christianity/catholicism always use the same 3 excuses.

"its transphobic"( has nothing about being trans in it. that is the way SOME use it to excuse)

"its homophobic, man shall not lie with man as he does woman" WROOOOOONG its man shall not lie with BOY and again, same as before

or just using the bad parts of its actions.

You all constantly voice positivity for other queers apart Abrahamic religions, but when its Christians you exclude us to hell and back.

It's so frustrating. Im so fucking sick of it. so, my name is Alamo. Im a 16 year old trans boy, i am polyam and gay with 2 partners, i am mixed rroma and mexican with my patron saint being saint sara-la-kâli. I see ny religion being intertwined with ny queerness and my race.

l'm so tired of seeing things IN THE CHRISTIANITY TAG like " all Christians should die" and " Christianity is a cult" For gods sake you cannot claim to be inclusive of all good-faith queers if you excluded us.

[quantum1mmortality]

Jamil Jamil, hes our man! (🍋Jamil x gn!reader🍋)

Okay so this is a belated birthday gift for my beloved boyfriend <<333

I mainly based the things reader says and does over things he'd personally do but I did want to post this on here so he could read it anytime

♧CW: reader is referred to with they/them but is fem bodied, smut and comfort, probably ooc jamil bc we love it when he's soft, first time sex, reader is dealing with a lot of shit fuck and jamil Is so sweet such husband, unsafe sex, its premarital too, jamil has big pp energy so he absolutely has a big pp here, he doesn't know how to use it tho pls help this man, bath sex and cockwarming near the end btw, smut smut smut oh so smutty we love him!!!!!! Also jamil cums inside?? Idk I might do that ig we'll see LMAO, oh also pet names, oh so many pet names bc me and my boyfriend use them on eachother all the time

♤!!ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS FIC ARE 18+!!♤

♤NOT PROOFREAD yall ever proofread a smut??? Its embarrassing. Im not doing that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♧ it had been one hell of a week.

Everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. Grim was sick beyond belief, no amount of tuna could help him stomach anything. You TRIED to buy more paper towels and better probiotics for him from Sam's shop, but you couldn't afford them because Crowley wasn't paying you enough.

Speaking of Crowley, he had to cut back on your paychecks because the school was putting out too much money for the overblots.

Ace and Deuce were over at ramshackle to help get things fixed up, but the ghosts decided that wasn't a good idea. They started throwing everything around, and one of them hit deuce in the head with a spare candlestick on accident. He wasn't okay, to say the least.

Not only that, but in Crewels class, you weren't paired up with your beloved boyfriend, Jamil! Crewel decided to pair you up with Sebek, and his loud yelling made you lose focus and fuck up the potion, earning a really bad scold from both Sebek, AND Crewel.

But luckily, it was Friday. After school. And you wanted some comfort. And what better way to get that from Jamil himself? Going to the mirror chamber, you get teleported to Scarabia.

Knocking on the door, you're greeted with the ball of sunshine of NRC, the Scarabia housewarden himself. "Hey you! I've been hoping you'd swing by, Jamil seems a little down, think you can cheer him up?" Seems like he's in the same position. No worries, you guys are always help eachother through bad times. Having kalim escort you throughout the halls, you're infront of his door, Jamils door.

Knocking on the door, Kalim yells out to him, "hey Jamil! Your s/o is here! They wanna hang out with you!" He leans on the door, ear pressed against it as you do the same. You can hear jamil yawn from the other side, seems as though he just woke up.

"Come in." He says. Kalim bids his farewell as you open the door to see your beloved. "Ah, my love, I've been hoping you'd come by." He said with a smile as he stood up from his desk. "Jamil! I'm so glad you're here, I heard from Kalim that you were upset.. are you okay?" "I'm more worried about you, dear. You've had quite the week. I've been worrying about you, thats all."

He walks over to his closet and pulls out a stick of incense. Lighting it up and putting it in a holder, he begins to walk over to you. "How are you doing? Are you okay?" He asks as he takes your hands and leads you to sit on his bed, sitting next to you after. You start to twiddle your thumbs, something he picked up that you did when you were nervous.

"I'm just.. I'm so tired... mentally, physically, everything hurts.." you say as you begin to shed tears. Jamil lightly cups your face with one hand and takes your hands in his empty one. He leaves Featherlite kisses on you cheeks as your tears start to spill, he places a soft kiss on your lips before speaking. "Honey, I know this is hard, okay? But im here whenever you need me. I'll always be here, no matter what. You're such an amazing person, everything about you entices me. You're so beautiful, and smart- and I just can't stand seeing you upset. You're so amazing, you don't deserve to feel like this, but im here for you. Always."

Looking into his eyes show nothing but love. He slowly leans in to kiss your lips. Its soft, and sweet. Perfect for him, his lips are so soft against yours. After a few seconds, he pulls away, letting a string of saliva connect the two of you as he places his forehead against yours. "I love you, never forget that." He says, placing another soft kiss on your lips.

"I love you too." You say, deepening the kiss. You begin to nibble on his lower lip, asking for permission and when he gives you it, you slip your tongue in. His mouth is sweet, warm, comforting. You just couldn't help but want more.

You can tell he was getting excited. He usually does when the two of you make out, but he doesn't say anything most of the time. He just excuses himself and takes care of it, coming back like nothing happened. But, what if you just, took it further this time? I mean, Jamil was such an amazing boyfriend, who else would you want to take your first? You knew he was a virgin too, though you have talked about sex in the past with him you couldn't help but notice how shy he'd get when you got too close.

Taking the initiative, you place your palm on his growing bulge, just to earn a surprised grunt from Jamil, followed with him pulling away from the kiss and halting your movements by holding your wrist. "(Y/n).. what are you doing? I mean, I know what you're doing, but are you sure nows a good time? I mean, like, I want to do this, I do, but, you're upset.. you're vulnerable.. I dont want to take advantage of that. I want you to be in the right mindset for this.. thats all." He looks at you with genuine concern in his eyes, but deep down you can see a hint of lost aswell.

"Jamil.. please, I need you. I've wanted this for so long and I just need a stress reliever.. please, you're the only one who can make me feel better.." tears start to form in your eyes out of sexual frustration. Cant someone just want to be dicked down by their boyfriend in peace? Apparently not in this economy.

Jamil takes a second to think, hand still cupping your face as he avoids looking you in the eye. Looking back at you, he begins to speak. "I just don't want you to think im taking advantage of your vulnerability. So, tell me you want this, and I'll give you everything I have. Promise." He says as he places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I want this, I want you Jamil." You say with a nod. A smile shows on his face as he stands up and walks to his bathroom. Coming back after a few moments, he has some things in his hands. "I have condoms and stuff, but if you want to we can do it raw and have you take plan b in the morning? Whatever you want dear, im fine with whatever." Taking a minute to scan everything over, you answer. "Raw. Raw is better. Cum inside me too. Please." Blunt. Jamil got so red from you saying that, he starts tripping over his words, which puts a smile on your face.

"Are you sure? Like, SERIOUSLY, are you sure?? I'm just, I-I'm flattered, really, but we don't have to do this, im okay with wearing condoms, or not doing anything at all!" Jamil says as he avoids looking you in the eyes again. Instead of answering with words, you just answer by kissing him, interlocking your fingers with his, giving them a tight yet gentle squeeze. He seems to take the hint and goes back to the bathroom with everything in hand, putting it away.

He comes back looking as red as a tomato as he walks to the bed and sits next to you. Turning to you, you're able to finally be able to catch his lips into a sweet kiss again. This one getting heated quickly with your tongues dancing in a matter of seconds. You begin to take his jacket off as he slowly unbuttons your dress shirt, leaving enough open so he can begin touching your exposed skin. Slipping of his shirt, you begin to touch his chest, reveling in how toned his stomach is.

He begins to slip off your panties with one hand while the other touches the plush of your thighs. Taking the undergarments off and throwing them somewhere in the room, the takes his middle and ring finger and begins to grab slick while unintentionally brushing up against your clit, earning a loud, unexpected moan from you. He begins to push his fingers into your entrance while kissing you, swallowing and hushing your moans.

As he begins to pump his two fingers in and out of you, he takes his thumb and begins to stimulate your clit, which makes you scream his name whilst breaking your kiss. "Shhh honey, I know you like it, but we must be quiet, we don't want anyone intruding, do we?" He says with a tease in his voice as he begins sucking hickeys on your neck in private places. You still have school after all, he wouldn't want you to get in trouble.

With all of the stimulation, you can quite quickly. How couldn't you? Jamil had two fingers inside you, scissoring and curling while his thumb was rubbing circles on you clit. Coming down from your high, you take steady breaths as Jamil begins to unbuckle his belt, taking his pants and boxers off in one go.

Placing one hand on your hip as his other aligns his long, stiff member with your entrance, he looks into your eyes with nothing bit pure love. "If you ever feel uncomfortable, or want to switch positions, or stop or anything during this, just bite my ear okay? And im not saying nibble, im saying full on bite. I dont give a shit if you draw blood i just want you to be comfortable and happy, okay?" Nodding your head in anticipation, he kisses you as he slowly sinks his member into you.

It hurts. The pain is indescribable, but it quickly morphs into pleasure as he sinks in more. Jamil begins to groan, softly saying under his breath how tight you are, how you're taking him so well, how beautiful you look. Spoonfeeding you praise after praise as he reaches you deepest ends of you.

Finally bottoming out, he hugs your waist, kissing your neck softly. "Tell me when I can move, love." Waiting a minute or two to be adjusted to his size, you speak up. "You can move now." And with that, he begins to thrust in and out of you. Choked moans fill the room from you both as he tries to find a steady pace.

Jamil begins to lean down to your ear, praising how good you feel, telling you how amazing you are and telling you how lucky he is to have you. As he begins to thrust harder and deeper, he begins to kiss you. Its more teeth and tongue than anything, you're both acting like starved beasts who haven't eaten in days.

As Jamil experimentally pulls out and slams his cock back into you, the both of you groan loudly, realizing that he hit your g-spot. As he continues to go in and out of you at a rapid, yet somehow soft pace, you begin to feel his cock twitch inside of you.

Leaning to your ear, he praises you more. "My love, you're making me feel so good. I know you already said I could, but will you please give me permission to cum inside you? You make me feel so amazing, I need you so bad." He says as you moan his name again, not caring who'll hear anymore. Nodding as permission, he releases he load into you, making a few deep thrusts so you cum aswell.

Laying together to catch your breaths, Jamil slowly pulls out, watching as your body twitches from being empty. Going into his bathroom again, he grabs two waters and some sweets for you. "Eat up. You lost a lot of energy just now. I'll go and run a bath for us."

Once you're finished with your snacks and water, Jamil carries you bridal style to the bathroom. Placing you in the bath first, he climbs in after you. He then snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you into his lap. As he begins to wash you up, shampooing your hair and putting bodywash on you, your hands find their way back to his semi hardened member. Jamil practically chokes on his moan as you begin to stroke him, running your finger up and down his shaft.

He looks at you with confusion, earning a small chuckle from you. "One more round? Please?" You say, looking up at him with pleading eyes. He let's out a sigh, picking you up by the waist and slowly sinking you down on his now hardened cock. Getting into a position where your face is buried in his chest, you're content with not moving and just staying as is.

As he begins to wash you more, barely moving his hips as his one hand grips your waist, he starts to kiss more marks into your neck again. "My love, you've sparked something in me. Now im not sure if I can stop after 'one more round'," he practically growls in your ear. This may have been one long week, but this was going to be an even longer night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[the-fat-raccoon]

🌌 astro-gnomey Follow

Some of you don't want to hear it but at some point we're going to HAVE to acknowledge the effects of storm sorcerers (and keiromancy as a whole) on the environment. The wizard council has been pushing for regulations on these practices for years due to its large ecological effect on the realm, and yet it still stays unregulated because of misinformed petitioners who insist on preserve this harmful practice.

x x x

🌬 420haz3it Follow

hey ops ex here. they literally went through my family's tome of spells and destroyed every page that contained keiromancy. spells that were in my family since the Wizardry Renaissance, that saved towns from floods and droughts alike, are now lost to time and space

also as people in the notes pointed out all of those links are blatant misinformation that ignores what storm sorcerers have done to protect not only their local communities but the environment as a whole for centuries, and the people who spread this information are the exact same people who advocated to repeal the wishing star protection act.

hating keiromancy has always been a distraction so astrological mages can push for more unsafe practices in their own field. don't let them lie about their intent, and don't let the wizard council rush the process to earn an astromage liscense.

🪄 tradmage12 Follow

Being from a family of storm sorcerers puts a direct line from you to the Great Calamity that wiped out our magic for a millenia. You deserve to lose that tome and every last spark of magic in you.

🌬 420haz3it Follow

what

🌬 420haz3it Follow

theres no way youre serious. you dont actually believe that.

🪄 tradmage12 Follow

We all know it, the Great Calamity would have never happened if the sorcerer faction had listened to the wizard councils orders and steered clear of dragon hunting. But they didn't listen, and everyone suffered because of it. Don't act like there's no reason to not trust your kind with their own practices. You just can't help yourselves.

🌌 astro-gnomey Follow

I leave for the Berry Harvest and come back to this mess, really funny how you'll mention me taking action against your family's evil dark spells but don't mention that you only dated me for your weird gnomeplay fantasies. Also pay attention to the language used, very Anti Mage rhetoric being spread. What else would you expect of a storm sorcerer, of course they want to keep their powers, I'm going to shut off reblogs if people in the notes cant see how they're being manipulated by keiromancers. Quit trying to be 'progressive' when you just want to keep ruining the course of nature and keep down the mage class.

🌬 420haz3it Follow

get me off this fucking lichsite. there is no 'anti mage rhetoric', that's not a fucking thing. mages aren't some repressed class no matter how much you want to pretend that, they haven't had to deal with magical restrictions since before the great calamity even happened, meanwhile sorcerers to this day are still fighting to be seen as magical equals.

and while im at it 'keiromancers' is a made up term to put all weather magic users under one umbrella, as if forms of keiromancy arent so diverse amongst the realms that you cant even begin to compare them. it is not the same as saying necromancers. dont even start that bs.

also, gnomeplay is perfectly normal and acceptable between consenting partners, which we were, so idek why you bring that up. if i as a half elf want to have gnome partners theres literally no issue with that, youre mad because gneillielle has a more bountiful gourd harvest and far more whimsical tunes than you ever brought to our relationship.

storm sorcerers have done nothing wrong, you're the problem.

perhaps some shadow work could unlodge the staff youve got stuck up your cap and you could see the filthy fuckign system youre supporting as an astromage, im sick and tired of this.

🎱 claire-vances-fourth-eye Follow

op starts posting untagged wizard council x reader failed abjuration content in a year btw

5,482 notes

[im-probably-playing-genshin]

“why isnt there a straight pride month??!?!?!?!?!?! 😢😢😢”

if you can name me one country where it is, or ever has been illegal to be straight than sure we can have a straight pride month

there is still 63 countries (globally for all of this) where it is illegal for two men to date.

there is still 40 where it is illegal for two women to date.

there is still 12 where a death penalty is a possibility against people in same sex relationships. TWELVE. At least half of which have actually implemented this law.

there is 14 countries with laws against cross-dressing and gender identity.

Theres this too.

(info found here and here)

Honestly, its disgusting how people twice or more of my age are so tone deaf to these things. We are still not equal, and the fact that kids know this better than a lot of adults do is sad.

“well why dont we have veterans mont-“ May is veterans month. If you ACTUALLY gave a single SHIT about veterans you would know this. You are only using this point to justify your homophobia.

Im honestly just sick and tired of all these points. If all it was, was people saying they didn’t support my community, i could really care less. But even small counts of homophobia can accumulate to stuff on this scale. Conservatives always get so angry when you get mad at their homophobia. “It’s just my opinion!!1!11!” They tell me, but they’re opinions and stances on other peoples rights also affect the views of other voters, of other political stances. Even then, were allowed to be defensive on our identities, just as they think they’re allowed to be defensive on their opinions on us. Ive been called slurs as jokes. By straight, cis people. Actual slurs. And im legally a child. Isnt that just fucking disgusting? Theyre all “protect the kids!” Until the kid is queer.

Were constantly being reminded about how there will always be someone in the world that hated us for just existing. Sure, we’re getting closer to equality. But closer doesn’t mean we’re there. If we stop speaking up, none of these numbers will get any lower.

SOME LGBT DONATION CENTRES:

UNITE FOR CHANGE

LL

GSA NETWORK

PRIDE FOUNDATION

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[htelover24]

Curse Breaker pt 1

WARNINGS PLEASE READ: mentions of suicide body dysmorphia sh and depression

A/N: IM BACK and with a series. (Let me know what you think?? (This chapter is kinda a get to know yourself as a character I’m writing BUT billie does come in toward the end so give it a chance)

Reader is immortal and struggling to be completely blunt. Billie moves in next door. Can she help reader feel something again? Is it fate?

22 years and forever to go. You could call me Annie if I had the choice because then It’d be “A day away.” Not a day goes by without at least a desperate attempt. Not a minute passes without the thought ricocheting through my head. I still can’t quite get a grip on the mystery I call my life. Maybe I’m already dead. I like to think that way but I want nothing more than to believe it.

Truth be told I can’t fucking die, and trust me I’ve tried. Not a damn thing works. At least I can say all hope is dead kinda wish it was me though.

If you’re asking why I’d want to die at such a young age, ask that to 13 year old you on the bathroom floor with the blade in one hand and 11 pills in the other. I’m tired of that question my therapist asks it enough.

Speaking of therapy what’s the point. You’re talking to someone to help you, yet you’re $150 short once you leave. It’s really belittling to know you’re just their source of income isn’t it. It’s not even like you tell the truth first few sessions but they’re still getting paid to listen to your lies. Absolute bullshit.

My thoughts are track racing again challenger one being denial and the other being reality there’s no draw yet neither of them win but neither one excepting the loss thus a rematch. You’d think they’d give up right?…… Yeah me too.

Just as the 7th race finishes my alarm goes off if you were wondering denial won, he pushed reality down and stopped him out. What did you expect he can’t expect anything and definitely not defeat.

I look around my room adjusting my eyes to the familiar interior. I scoot out of bed, legs feeling flimsy from the lack of holding up my weight for 8 hours. I stutter over to my bathroom feeling incredibly sick from the failed attempt at poisoning myself overnight. I was hoping I’d die in my sleep, but like always I wake up with the unjust consequences of my actions.

I look in the mirror at my disarrayed reflection. I’ve got dried spit smudge at the side of my mouth, eye crush built up along my tear ducts, and hair disheveled knots engulfing my hair tie making it almost invisible.

A heavy sigh slips passed my lips as I turn on the water to my shower. Stepping in feeling the warmth of the water trickling down my skin reminding me of the same sensation of my blanket, just missing the gentle mattress. I put the stopper in the drain and watched as the water rouse filling my tub.

Attempt one.

I lay down flat on my back and let out all the air from my lungs before dunking my head completely submerging myself in the water.

My body doesn’t panic and my mind is loaded with the absence of thought. When my chest feels like it’s been pinched, picked at, compressed, and dismantled I inhale the water around me. My eyes widened at the familiar feeling of guilt and agonizing thick blurred pain in my lungs. I can clearly make out the shape of my lungs as they feel the heaviest in my body. I feel them rest on my vertebrae as my heart loses its steady tempo, both quickening and slowing. My skin feels like it’s being bitten all over and injected with venom. My eyes go droopy and my body begins to sink onto the marble shell of my tub. My heart completely stops but my brain still very conscious.

I’d failed again.

After a few hours I finally gain feeling back in my body. I sit up very slowly looking down at my flory reflection in the water.

How come it never works out. Whether it’s my life or my failed attempts to get rid of it. It all goes to shit. It sucks because apparently life is precious but at what cost does it keep its value. Does my mental health have to deplete for me to still be of worth to anyone? Do I have to suffer to uplift the value of others? It’s unfair. It’s either the world is fucked up or…….. it’s me. I know if I dwell on it too much I’ll drown again just in the counter narrative of my mind. “Whatever”… Is the only thing I can say to keep myself from breaking.

I unclog the drain watching the water spiral down reminding me a lot of myself. I stand up a bit unsteady from well you know….. drowning, and turn my shower head back on. I grab my soap and froth up my sponge.

I bring my sponge to the skin of my arm smoothly lathering myself in a layer of soap. Before I know it I’m completely covered…. So why do I still feel so gross.

I look down at my body seeing every out of place lump, dip, and curve. They begin at my shoulders and the whole length down to my feet. I scrub at the skin of my arm harshly practically scraping at it hoping to get rid of these imperfections. My hands race down to my stomach and I snatch pinch and scrub I scrub until I’m red and bleeding. I can’t stop my hands from traveling all over my body working to destroy what I see as an enemy.

My body feels like it’s been raked before I finally put my sponge down….. At least I’m clean right?

I step out the shower not bothering with drying off I look in my foggy mirror not being able to make out my features, but from what I can see I look like a silhouette of pink and red splotches. Darker in the area I’m most disgusted with.

I walk over to my closet and pick an outfit to lounge in and won’t be uncomfortable after a few more attempts at taking my life. I put my hair in a messy bun with a few strands that didn’t quite make it in leaking out the hair tie.

I walk over to my nightstand and pick up the bottle of Ondansetron and down 16 of them.

Attempt 2

After a few hours I feel the overdosage take over. My face feels like it’s being rearranged, as well as my organs. I get up to go drink some water before I-

DING DONG.

I haven’t had a visitor at my door in weeks who could possibly be at my house, and at such a bad time. I walk over to the door looking through the peep hole. I see the most magnificent blonde woman at my door holding what looks to be a pumpkin pie with a bizarre purple color to it, though that can always just be the overdose defects.

I open the door and she smiles.

“Hey I’m billie the new neighbor thought I’d introduce myself instead of just being a stranger you know?”

Her smile begins to drop along with my body to the floor.

No fucking way I just died in front of her. The hottest woman to ever interact with me just saw me die. This is so fucked.

“Holy Shit.” Is the last thing I hear before going unconscious.

[prettysc3neg1rl]

im geniunely so tired of ads, ads ads ads everywhere, no i dont want your product, im happy how i am, i bought my media, do not intrude on it, this is why i pirate music, its the only fucking way that i can listen to my stuff without either oweing money or fucking being intruded on, its sick and its fucked up, im so tired of these fucking billionares always looking to get their next billion, everything just has to make money

i remember when bill gates and microsoft worked on projects not just for money but for the love of computing, i used to be a devout windows user, but microsofts absolute bullshit pushed me over the fucking edge. In 2018 when I built my first computer, I purchased a copy of Windows 10 for a grand total of $120 USD. That copy came with a promise of an up to date, reliable, and functional operating system. 6 years later in 2024, I struggle to even think those things in the same thought as any Microsoft product let alone windows. Over the years I have watched their piece od shit operating system grow into a bloated, buggy, ad ridden piece of junk that I wouldn't even begin to call usable.

i was watching elf with my family last night, a movie my mother bought and has owned for years, there was a fucking ad, do we not own media anymore? i want to OWN things, i bought it, stop vandalising it

we need to stop taking bullshit from people, stop buying these things, we dont have to put up with this, pirate media, protest online, kill ceos, this is not just an annoyance anymore, this is a fucking outrage.

[satoverse]

▪︎Summary: Y/n sure likes to keep a lot of secrets to her friends but to the day has finally come and her secrets are exposed will they abandon her or will they stay.

WARNING: mafia!au, non-jujutsu sorcerers!au, modern day!au, angst, mentions of sexual conversations here and there, smut(at some point), TW!mentions of alcohol, fighting, blood, knives, guns, mentions of violence, brainwashed reader(at some point)

PART 1

Vengeance...Blood...Kill..

And with those three words all i could think of was the blood gushing out of their bodies, watching them die mercily...

__________________________

Having to hide such a huge secret is not the easiest thing a human being can achieve to do. Sure, it is easy to hide the fact that you kissed or had sex with your toxic ex to your friends, or hiding the fact that having a massive crush on them is easy again. You see these are all easy secret to hide it from them, but being the boss to one of the most dangerous mafias that has ever existed sure is easy..right?

"Stop sleeping and get up you lazy ass." she says as she flicks my forehead, slowly opening my eyes to look over to my side only to see Nobara looking down at me with her hands crossed. "First of ouch..secondly why should I? I barely got sleep last night." I turn my back at her covering myself from head to toe with the blanke trying to fall back asleep, only to feel the cold air hit my body "Oh shut up it is not my fault you stayed with that damned phone all night plus we promised Shoko and Utahime that we would help them painting their house."

I groan in annoyance as i kick my feet to the mattress "Cant you just go alone and tell 'em that i got sick or something? Noba...I really dont wanna go i feel really tired." and with that guilt washed all over me seeing her looking at me with those disappointed eyes. Turning around to leave my room she stops at the doorstep "You know... oh forget it its not even worth saying you'll always make up excuses again." and with that i watch her leave my room only after a couple of seconds to hear the front door forcefully getting shut. I sigh as i get up from my bed sitting down and looking at the floor 'if only i could tell..if only...'

Truth is I was up all night trying to find the location of Ryomen Sukuna. An infamous mafia leader that has been wanted for years, searching for him is not that easy since...well lets just say he has his own old ways. I get up once again walking towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my little sincare morning routine and apply some light make up. I walk back to my room going towards my closet to grab a plain white crop top, some old sweatpants and a jacket. I grab my hat and sunglasses looking at myself once again in the mirror in my living room and then i head out.

___________________________________________

...Ring....Ring...Ring...

'Meet me at _____ in 20 minutes'

I look down to my watch only to see more than 20 minutes have passed "Where the hell is he? Whats taking him so long?". As im about to pull out the flip phone to call him he appears, only to see him breathing heavily with sweat dripping down his forehead to his neck. "Jesus fucking Christ were the hell where you that you had to run." I watch him sit down on of the empty chairs in the room as he waves at me away with his hand, only for me to chuckle at his action. "You literally called a last minute meeting in the middle of fucking NOWHERE and on top of THAT ITS ON THE 50TH FUCKING FLOOR and MIND YOU the elevator does NOT work." I laugh at his sudden tantrum as at the same time I make myself comfortable on the chair that is on the opposite direction of him "Damn it sure is pleasing to see a quiet person throw a whole tantrum about some stairs." He shot at me a death glare as i simply chuckle it away... "Now let's begin shall we..."

After 'bout an hour or so we both grunt to the feeling of disappointment. "This is just so frustrating I FUCKING HATE HIM!" and within seconds the chair has ended up on the other side of the room. He just looks at me unamused as he slightly rolls his eyes "Calm down." thats the only sentence that comes out of his mouth 'damn he went quiet again..' i thought to myself. I go over where the chair is grabing it and bring it close to the table and sit on it. "You know this is just hell for me we will never going to find him or the last remaining antique."

I place my head on the table as i sigh deeply, only to feel big hands on my shoulders to slowly massage them.He looks down at my exposed neck, leaning down to it close to my ear only to whisper.. "Calm down." ...again. He softly pecks the back of my neck as I lean in on his touch of his softly lips, I sigh once again and lean back up to push him away slowly. "Let's just call it a day its already 2pm I need to get back." He crosses his arms as he looks down at me with a raised eyebrow "something happened?". I turn around to look at him with a slight pouty face "Nobara got mad at me again because i bailed on our plans...again and Shoko and Utahime are also probably mad at me too." He just stares at me for a couple of seconds and just shakes his head, "Go ill take care of everything."

My face lits up and i go over to him on tip toes to give him a big hug "You are the best, this is why you are my right hand man." and with that i quickly get out of the room and make my way towards Shoko's house.

...Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...

'The number you have called is not available at th-'

'sigh...what have i done'

As im walking down the street i notice a bakery, thinking to myself 'since i made them mad i might as well make it up to them'.I go into the shop and look around only to leave the shop with a bunch of sweets in my hands, "Damn they sure will love this..specially Satoru." i chuckle to myself and make my way again towards the house. Walking in narrow alleys sure its a bit scary when you're alone but its even scarier when someone is following, and by someone meaning an enemy.

I cut out routes passing through old buildings, in order for him not to follow me to my friends house I quickly make my way towards and old looking house getting and setting the bags down. I hide behind a wall waiting for him to get lured by my trap and once they are in i quietly and quickly headlock him placing a hand over their mouth. He grabs me by the hands and rolls me over to the ground taking a knife out he tries to knife me in the heart but i quickly roll over, get up and forcefully kick the knife out of his hand with my leg. I grab it and place it over his neck, slowly walking forward for him only to walk backwards, "Who are you and who sent you?" getting amuzed by his scared face, pale face and cold sweat dripping down his forehead.."P-please s-spare m-" ..i give him a smile and with that i slice his neck.

I watch him fall down, gagging trying to get some air only for him to fail as he stops breathing after a couple of minutes. I crouch down at him and grab his shirt to clean the knife. "This is what happens when you dont answer the correct questions that you are being told..now shall we send your boss a quick message?". I cut his shirt off with the knife and i start carving on his body.

'I'll find you'

I clean the knife once again and place it in my pocket making sure to dispose it later. I grab the bags and making my way towards the house once and for good.

After twenty minutes or so i finally arrive at Shoko's house, anxiety slowly building up on my stomach prepared to be yelled at, well...mostly from Utahime. I knock on the door tree time making a quick pause then knocking again two times. The door opens only to be revealed by-

"Utaa...heyy nice to see you" she gave me a glare that sent shiver down my spine "WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU Y/N I THOUGHT WE PLANED TO-" "i bought sweets" I tell her as i shove the boxes to her face making her to hold them. I get in the house closing the door behind me as I look around taking a big sniff to smell the freshly painted living room. I take my shoes off as i make myself comfortable around "This is a nice apartment i love it" "Thanks took a while to find a nice place like this" Shoko say and as per usual her cigarette never leaving her mouth. I sit down to the floor as the rest of them follow my lead sitting down making a circle.

Utahime places the opened boxes of sweets in the middle so anyone can take as much as they want. "Never thought you'd drop by, your always so "busy" for us and you never stay even if you do its for a short period of time" Nobara says to me while she its a cookie. I drop my head low smiling knowing that those words dont only hurt me but her and the rest of group. "Well-.." "Well what? You always cancel on us saying your vusy yet you never tell us with what, you're always so "mysterious and all that" you weren't like that" Geto says as he cut me off not letting me say a single word. My heart feels shattered I've been so focused of finding Sukuna that i forgot that i also gad a normal life to live and friends that actually do wanna be in my life.

I bring my head up high and give a soft smile "Im sorry I truly am I've been busy with work so much, that I've forgotten about reality, I've working double shifts and I've also work late night shifts so its-" "Don't even worry about that" Gojo says to me while wrapping a hand around my shoulder, looking down at me while giving me a soft smile "We just want you to be happy and healthy nothing else if you need us we will always be by your side" I smile at his kind words as i shove him away while giving him a slap on the shoulder "You corny bitch dont talk to me all lovely like that you just saying that because i got sweets" they all chuckle and giggle at the remark as they all agree with me.

It is nice being like this with everyone I feel like Im finally free like there is nothing stopping me for being with my loved ones...

___________________________________________

Looking down at the the body he laughs hysterical as he takes a picture. "I'll find you huh...adorable." He places his phone back into his pocket and calls out his man telling them to dispose the body. He gets in the backseats of the car telling the drive to drive off. Pulling his phone out he looks at the picture once again chuckling to himself.. "Boss will be entertained with this"

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 6

24 anon, outlet anon, spoon anon, 8 years anon (new), lawyer anon (new), guess anon

24 anon

hi cas, its 24 anon again. its been a while so i dont know if you remember lol. my friend had her baby and i still haven't met him (mostly bc ive been horrifically sick since before she even had him so im not about to give them whatever germs i have lol). i kind of feel like im at my breaking point lately. ive not cut her off entirely, but i have distracted from my friend a bit because i went into her having a baby trying to think 'this is a major thing and she's going to be down and out for a while so she obviously wont be trying to make plans' but apparently i was wrong bc im seeing posts on facebook and snapchat of her going out and doing things and having get togethers with her other friends and im just. i dont even hear about these plans let alone get invited to anything ever. i dont want to sound entitled to her time and effort but am i really her 'best friend' if she never wants to hang out or talk to me unless i initiate and plan? if she never tells me a single thing about her life and im always the last to know? if ive talked to her about this time and time again without any change whatsoever? im tired of talking to her about this because i know it wont change anything. my best friend had a baby and i wont ever actually get to know him. my heart is genuinely broken. i dont have any other friends to talk to. literally. at this point in my life i have lost every single friend ive ever had except for her but apparently ive never really had her to begin with. im so tired of being fucking lonely but i dont know ehat to do anymore. ive never been able to make or keep friends and i feel like im going fucking crazy. what is it thats so wrong with me that makes me consistently not worth peoples effort to keep around? i feel like im victimizing myself right now but i genuinely feel like i try SO HARD to maintain friendships - talking to them, trying to make plans, etc. etc. and that just never gets returned back to me. im tired of pretending im fine with that. im just fucking tired. i havent been able to talk to my therapist in months and ive only had myself for company for YEARS. i cant fo this anymore cas

Hi <3

Honestly I can relate to this SO much. I have a friend who I was very close to who had a baby a few years back and it's definitely changed our dynamic. Imo, the problem is now, we have different priorities. And that's not WRONG, it's just how it is, so it's changing how we interact.

I don't think my friend hates me and I don't think your friend hates you either. It's just one of those things where like...people get hurt but nobody means to hurt anyone. And it's very hard not to take things personally but it probably isn't as personal as it feels.

I know none of this makes you feel any better, but I just want you to know I'm going through the same thing and I understand. If you ever want to talk about it, please feel free to DM me- I'd love to have someone to talk about it with too <3

______________________

Outlet anon

Hey Cas, outlet anon here. I need help.

So I'm staying with my mother for a few weeks while my place gets some work done, and that means I'm in the same house as Al, which is fine and whatever. I don't acknowledge him, he doesn't acknowledge me. It's a mutual understanding and has been for years. Or so I thought???? He addressed me BY NAME for the first time since I was THIRTEEN to ask me to move my laundry, and he didn't yell at me when I ignored him the first two times. We haven't even spoken since I was thirteen. He's also been talking at me and saying things for my benefit. Like last night, Al and my mother were watching robot fighting with my siblings and I went down to see what was going on because I heard them yelling. Al saw me and told my mother to rewind the TV so I could see the whole fight. I didn't express any interest in the show nor ask anyone to rewind it. He just... did it??? I don't know what's going on or what he thinks is going on. I'm going to keep right on ignoring him and pretending like he doesn't exist, but like thoughts? What should I do? What do you think is going on????? Help??????????

Honestly, it's great that Al seems to be trying to be nicer, but I'd be a bit weary. Like don't be rude to him about it or shit on him for being nice, but you don't suddenly need to be nice because he is. You're allowed to to take some time to build trust (if you even want to). The way he's treated you in the past doesn't warrant instant forgiveness (unless you want to, of course), so just go with what feels good to you and don't feel guilty for however much time you need. And if he ends up getting pissed about it...well, then he didn't really change in the first place.

_________________

Spoon Anon

hi cas it's spoon anon

well i've been looking at self diagnosis tests like yk those online quizzes you have. some say i have a lot of symptoms of autism and others say that i have low-medium autism so idk atp. according to the oxford cbt self assessment quizzes, i have medium-high anxiety and depression and low-medium autism and adhd.

and i've been thinking if i should maybe actually go to a psychiatrist and see if my suspicions are correct. but then there's the part where i need to convince my mom. there's a major school event happening until the end of february so maybe i'll ask her if we can go sometime in march? several of my friends have actually seen psychiatrists and i'll just say that i want to just check once if there's anything that i might be diagnosed with.

i'm going to go out on a limb here and ask if you think i have autism or not from what i've told you. adhd there's a pretty low chance of me actually having that i don't really show any symptoms except getting distracted easily. depression and anxiety, if i'm going to be honest, maybe. idk my country's culture has given me a skewed view of what will actually fall under a mental health problem.

Hi! I think asking your mom is a great idea. It sounds like it's really important to you to know for sure, so I think you absolutely should.

As far as what I think...I'm sorry hon but I'm not a professional and I don't know you very well. But like I said I think it sounds super important to you to know for sure, so you should def ask to get evaluated.

___________________

8 years anon

This actually takes so much courage to type this out but I feel like this is the right place to say it and plus I don't really know where else to say it.

So sometimes my bestfriend (of 8 years) really just ticks me off in a really nasty way. Like I feel awful every single time I feel this way but sometimes he just does stuff that like I don't know if he does it intentionally or not or if I'm just overreacting but sometimes he like takes things I consider "mine" ?? If that's an okay way to put it? I feel like there's just some things that he just starts to develop stuff from me and don't get me wrong, obviously friends are gonna develop things from each other (especially of 8 years) but I feel like I've only really noticed it within the last year or so.

For example I'll mention that I like a music artist very very briefly and like the next time I see him he's totally engrossed himself into that person's music and is saying "oh _ is my favorite song from them!" When like 3 days ago he didn't even know who they were.

Or on a game that we both play theres like 60-70 characters and there's 2 people that I constantly play and he wanted to try out new people which is fine but then he chooses one of the two I play??? And buys a skin for them within like 2 minutes of playing them??

And like there's a certain way I dress and he mentioned wanted to get more into like some things I'm into like okay that's fine and then he becomes more obsessed with it than me?? I don't even know anymore my girlfriends both agree with me and understand what I'm saying cause sometimes he does the same thing to them? This feels like a lot and it feels kinda childish when I type it all out but I'm genuinely lost and you seemed like the best person I could go to.

lots of love cas ❤️❤️

Hi!

I can definitely understand how you feel, but I think this is something to talk to your friend about. I think you need to figure out why it bothers you so much and why he seems to be so drawn to everything you do. Does he just admire you? Is it coincidence? Does he have low confidence?

And I think talking to him about it is important because this type of thing can lead to resentment, you know? So saying something like "I've noticed you tend to like a lot of the same things I do, right after I mention them. Is there something you like that you can share with me, too? I feel like we only ever talk about my likes?" might help to gently call him out without causing a fight.

__________________

lawyer anon

Hey Cas, I hope you're doing well!

I love all your microfics😭they're so well written.

Sometimes I'll be reading a random microfics that popped and I'll think "this is really good!" so I go and check the user and its usually your stuff <3

For context, I'm 2 months away from 15 and a girl.

I was talking to my dad and complaining about school and joking that when I was fifteen I am legally allowed to drop out. I do this a lot.

My dad was joking and saying I've got to stay in school so I can become a lawyer and earn lots of money.

I told him the usual stuff like I don't want to be a lawyer and why would I.

He then proceeded to straight up tell me I was ridiculous and I was really confused and I asked him why.

Apparently I was _overreacting_ to the joke he told, which I had answered non seriously.

It just seemed like he was treating me like a much younger child and it honestly seemed kinda sexist.

This is not the first time stuff like this has happened. I recently went on a trip to my mum's side of the family and it was really nice talking to them because they actually seemed interested in my life and didn't just ask me, "How is school."

I know my dad loves me and this is a minor issue and some people have it much worse but it just really bothers me.

Honestly I feel like you're at the age where some people start seeing you as a person becoming an adult while others see you as a child. And that's a hard age because you want to be treated more like an adult, and it feels frustrating when that doesn't happen. People don't see you're starting to think about more mature things and you're thinking about the real world. It sounds like your dad might still think of you as a complete child. Is he the type of person that might respond well if you say "Hey, I'd like to have a serious conversation about this. I care about this topic and I want to talk about it seriously"?

________________________

Guess anon

Hi Cas

Guess Anon again

He keeps messaging me and asking how college is and asking if i need any more books (i told him no)

I have a careers meeting tomorrow and if i get anything good from that then i may tell him and tell him my next steps (but only if im feeling brave)

Ill keep you updated!!

Honestly that's such a good idea. Having a plan is a great way to like...deliver unwanted news in a much gentler way. Please keep me updated!!

[lovely-english-rose]

just gonna scream and cry about a bunch of stuff for a bit here

bc i am just so sick and tired of feeling like nobody cares about ME. me as a fucking human being and not what i do for them. bc i deserve to be cared about just for being here. im more than the endless list of shit i do for everyone else, and i deserve to get some of it in return too!!

im tired of being ignored. and talked over. i listen and listen and engage with what everyone else wants to talk about, do i not deserve the same?? i try being more social and starting more conversations, i try sending more asks, i try starting conversations, just to be ignored. i try sharing my things, no response or reaction. i kill conversations just by existing. i ask for just 5 minutes to talk about something i enjoy after listening to nonstop talk on another topic for several months and get treated like a MONSTER. and im pretty sure the day i asked was my fucking birthday bc god forbid i even get one day i can have any attention

and i want to be someone who is excited about their birthday, but its always forgotten. always less important than someone else who shares it or has one close to mine. even when i remind people in advance, even if i try organizing something like playing games. and its on a saturday this year so i wont even have work to distract me from how horrible they usually are.

i hate that talking to people and making friends is so hard. i hate having such strong feelings. i hate that everything hurts. i try and i try. i try so fucking hard at everything. i feel like nothing i do will ever be good enough for anyone. i will never be enough.