#im sorry if you read this
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captainimprobable · 10 days ago
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ok look ive been like. really good at avoiding crashing out considering. everything. but if youll allow me just a little baby crashout id appreciate it!
my life is a joke lmaooo my medication no longer works. Which means my narcolepsy has become incredibly disabling. I feel sick almost every day, I take 2-3 naps a day, I can only drive at certain times, I can't really have a social life anymore, and I had to cut down on hours at work which means im working 12 a week. 12. A week. I am making minimum wage.
Do you know how much money that is? It's a very small amount. Once I get certified as a barista, I'll make, wait for it...a whole extra dollar an hour. It can take A YEAR to get certified. And the process requires traveling to the city at least 3 times, unpaid, taking a two hour class, doing a written exam, and multiple practicals. All this. For a single extra dollar. Meanwhile, I'll be DOING ALL THE BARISTA WORK. But I can't get the extra buck until im OFFICIALLY certified.
And it just hit me today, as I was taking the ridiculously difficult written exam, how humiliating and dehumanizing this is.
I am 31 fucking years old. THIRTY ONE. And this is my life. I'm living in my childhood bedroom, in a borderline toxic environment, in the neighborhood that has made me feel like shit since I was a kid, isolated from the world bc I have a total of one friend still living here too.
I feel like I've been running on a treadmill through molasses for years. Since I'm only working two days right now, the other days of the week are now dedicated to content creation, which I've claimed as my second part time job. The payoff for this is almost nothing. Right now I'm making about the same amount in a month as I am in a day at the coffee shop. I feel like a loser. I feel like a failure. I feel like I did something wrong, I feel like there has to be a way for me to get rid of the life i have and trade it for another one, but there isn't. And I've been so good. I've been so positive. Even though I feel like shit every day I've been working my ass off for tiktok and literally anything i need to do. But my savings are almost gone because I got into a car accident and had to fix the car. I have a lot of great things in my life but I don't WANT to downplay everything, I don't WANT to be positive, I want to be allowed to admit that things suck SHIT right now and ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR. I hate myself, I hate who I am, I hate this sick person who is always STUPID from brain fog, I hate this dumb bitch who can't stay awake for long enough to go out with friends. I hate this jackass who has to seriously consider if it's ok for me to get a book I've been wanting for a YEAR because it costs money. I hate that I need to take my cat to the vet for her yearly checkup and I've been avoiding it because there goes more of my savings.
I hate working retail. I hate being treated like a robot NPC every day for nothing. I hate that I had so many plans for my future and now they're all impossible because I have the TOO SLEEPY DISEASE. I hate spending every day in bed, and not feeling good enough for anyone in my life because I don't really have one. I hate that I graduated college NINE YEARS AGO and I still don't have a full time job and I still live at home and I STILL CAN'T FUCKING SUPPORT MYSELF. WHEN AM I GOING TO BE ALLOWED TO START MY LIFE? WHEN IS IT GONNA BE MY TURN???? WHAT DID I DO WRONG???? I have to go to sleep soon to be up at 6am for my job and I don't know how I can walk in there tomorrow feeling the way I do. But what choice to I have? I need the miniscule amount of money it's going to give me. I'M SO ANGRY and I'm tired of being jealous of everyone else and I'm sick of being depressed and anxious and I don't understand what the point even is right now!!!!!! What is all this for??? I'm not making enough to save up, and my new meds won't come in for months...so what am i working towards??? ANYTHING???? Am I going to be here forever????? i want to run to the middle of the street and scream but you know what? i dont even have the fucking energy. maybe tomorrow ill pretend this isnt bothering me again. maybe ill pretend to be fine because what other choice do i have? so this is my single allotted breakdown. thank you for joining me.
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inkskinned · 6 months ago
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
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steelycunt · 2 months ago
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he would not fucking say that he would not fucking want a nuclear family
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biowho · 4 months ago
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noornight · 6 months ago
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Long distance besties. This definitely happened after the third movie (source: trust me bro)
Based on this
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yueebby · 7 days ago
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𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 – 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮
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synopsis. two weeks have slipped by since you disappeared from the emperor’s life. the palace whispers of his unraveling, but no one dares to name the madness consuming him.
contents. period piece, forbidden love, ooc, angst (eventual comfort), yandere emperor!gojo, lovesick!gojo, servant!reader, obsessive behavior, lowkey unreliable narrator, time skips
notes. not proofread once again, but at least all 8k words are finally done. until the epilogue!
series masterlist | chapter 2/2
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It has been two weeks since your disappearance. 
Nobody knows where you’ve gone to. Or why. 
Synchronously, the palace had fallen into a hush. The kind that stretched beyond walls and courtyards, embedding itself in the bones of the imperial court. Servants whispered behind their sleeves. Nobles watched the throne with cautious eyes. The emperor, Japan’s strongest man, was unraveling. And nobody knew why.
The stench of alcohol clung to Gojo Satoru. Expensive sake pooled in ceramic cups, the scent sharp and sickly, mixing with the musk of sweat and silk. The chamber was a mess, toppled dishes, shattered glass, the remnants of a feast he hadn’t touched. A single candle flickered on the lacquered table, its wax melting into a slow, steady pool. The shadows cast by the flame twisted along the walls, stretching long and jagged, like ghosts reaching for him.
Gojo slumped against his seat, his white hair, usually snowy white, now fell in wild, overgrown tufts, obscuring his vision in uneven strands. His ceremonial robes, woven in silk and embroidered with the insignia of the Gojo Clan, hung loose around his frame. His fingers twitched over the rim of an empty goblet, a silent tremor betraying the rage simmering beneath his skin.
His breath was slow, methodical. 
Himiko entered without announcement, the sound of her embroidered slippers tapping against the floor. Her robes shimmered under the candlelight, crimson and gold, a deliberate echo of the imperial crest. She was the picture of regality: poised, calculating, her scent perfumed with jasmine.
“You’ve been drinking again,” she observed, her voice smooth yet edged with unspoken frustration.
Gojo didn’t bother lifting his head. Instead, he chuckled, the sound devoid of mirth. He tipped his goblet back, only to find it empty. A scowl twisted his lips as he tossed it aside. The metal clattered against the floor, rolling to a stop against shattered glass.
“Would you like a prize for your deduction?” His voice was hoarse, his throat burned raw from drink.
She ignored his bitterness and stepped closer, fingers trailing along the lacquered table, grazing over his discarded robes. The action was slow, deliberate.
“Tell me, Satoru…” she murmured, her voice as soft as silk, as sharp as a blade. “Why do you waste yourself like this?”
His fingers curled into a fist.
Himiko’s eyes flickered, catching the movement. She stepped closer, her presence heavy in the candlelit chamber. “You were born to rule,” she continued, her words laced with honey and venom alike. “And yet, you let yourself fall into ruin over a woman who no longer wants you. A personal servant, much less.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked.
“She has severed all ties with you,” Himiko pressed, her tone almost pitying. “After your stunt in the ceremonial hall she will never bat an eyelash at you again. And now, her clan whispers of rebellion in the capital. The elders demand retribution.”
Gojo’s breath was slow, methodical.
“The Gojo and Zenin clans must unite,” Himiko continued, watching him carefully. “For the first time in history, we will restore order. We will fulfill your destiny.”
She leaned in, her touch featherlight as her fingers trailed down his chest, the brush of her nails just barely felt through his robes.
“And,” she whispered, voice dipping lower, “you will have me.”
The silence that followed was suffocating.
The candle’s flame flickered, the shadows shifting along the walls.
Gojo let out a slow, shaky breath. His head tilted back against the chair, his gaze hooded, unreadable. The weight of something unseen pressed against him, pushing him deeper into his own destruction.
Finally, he spoke.
“Fine.”
A victorious smile curled on Himiko’s lips.
But then, the doors burst open.
The impact sent a gust of air through the chamber, causing the candle to flicker wildly.
A new presence entered, stepping through the threshold like ink spilling across the pristine floors. Dark robes trailed behind him, blending into the shadows. His expression was unreadable, but his golden eyes gleamed with something knowing.
“Your Majesty,” Geto drawled, his voice smooth, stepping forward. “You called.”
Gojo frowned, his gaze shifting. “Suguru.”
Geto gave a short, practiced bow, the movement fluid. 
The Emperor stares at him, “You are my most trusted ally.”
“A honor that I hold dear, yes.” Suguru’s head is still ducked, waiting for permission to be lifted.
A strange tension filled the air. The kind that was razor-thin, ready to snap.
Gojo’s fingers drummed against the armrest of his chair, the sound slow, calculated. Then, his foot lifted, pressing beneath Suguru’s chin, forcing his head up until their gazes met.
A pair of icy cerulean orbs bore into plum ones.
“You would never do anything to betray my trust, no?”
The room turned frigid.
Suguru’s entire body tensed, though his face remained still. The weight of those words pressed down on him, heavy and suffocating. The deadly tone, Gojo’s battle tone, was one Suguru had only ever heard on the battlefield, when his friend was overtaken with bloodlust.
He felt his blood go cold.
“No, of course not.” His head remained low, eyes staring at the spilled wine pooling along the floor, the blood-red liquid almost taunting him. A warning.
“Then tell me that the rumors are false, dear friend.”
Suguru’s eyes flickered.
Gojo pressed harder with his foot. “Tell me that you did not let my [Name] leave.” His voice trembled, cold and sharp. “Tell me that you did not send her a carriage.”
Silence.
“Tell me that you did not leave her in the hands of another man after I had worked so hard to bring her back.”
Suguru said nothing.
And that was the confirmation Gojo needed.
His hands clenched. His chest heaved.
And then,
“I TRUSTED YOU!”
The chamber shook as Gojo kicked Suguru back, sending him crashing into a wooden table. Artifacts shattered, glass shards scattering across the floor.
Himiko shrieked at the violent display.
Suguru groaned, coughing as the pain tore through his ribs. He barely flinched at the glass buried in his side. Instead, he tilted his head, wiping the blood from his lip.
“She made her choice.” His voice was eerily calm.
Gojo froze.
His breath hitched, stomach twisting
“You don’t know that.” His voice was hoarse, cracking beneath the weight of his own grief. The emperor grabbed a dagger, well hidden in his garments and held it in Suguru’s direction.
Himiko scoffed.
“Why does it matter?” she demanded, stepping between them, fury flashing in her gaze. “She is nothing now! She abandoned you. She left you for another man–”
“Shut your mouth,” Gojo snapped.
Himiko stiffened, stunned by the venom in his voice.
“You chose me!” she shrieked, her voice cracking. “You made your decision.”
“Because I had no choice!” His roar was thunderous, shaking the very foundation of the palace. His breath was ragged, vision tunneled. “But if I did,” He swallowed hard, the taste of regret thick in his throat.
His voice wavered, quieter now.
“If I did… it would have never been you.”
Silence.
Suguru exhaled, tilting his head. “I told you,” he murmured, watching the scene unfold with mild amusement. “You should have let her go when she asked.”
But Gojo Satoru, Emperor of Japan, the strongest man alive, had never known how to let go.
“If you want to live, you will follow my next command carefully.”
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The village was quiet in the way only forgotten places could be, tucked away between rolling green fields and a quiet forest.
Unlike the grand palaces and bustling cities, this place moved at its own pace, undisturbed by the heavy weight of politics and war. Here, the air smelled of damn earth and fresh rice paddies, of firewood burning in stone hearths, of crisp morning dew that clung to thatched roofs, mingling with the distant sound of laughter from children playing. The dirt paths were lined with modest homes, their roofs sagging under years of wear. 
It had been two weeks since your disappearance. Two weeks of living as someone else.
Gone were the weight of expectations heavy upon your shoulders. Your hands, once unblemished and soft, now bored faint callouses from work you were never meant to do. And you didn’t mind.
“[Name].”
A familiar voice, steady and unmistakable cut through the quiet morning. You turned, catching sight of Nanami standing near the well, sleeves rolled to his forearms. A basket of vegetables hung from his grasp, the crisp greens contrasting against his neutral-toned kimono. His expression, as always, was measured.
A quiet sigh left your lips, “You’re back early.”
Nanami stepped forward, his glaze flickering down to your hands, observing the red marks on your palms from the rough mortar and pestle. He frowned.
“You shouldn’t be doing this kind of work,” he said, voice low but firm. “You’ll only injure yourself.”
“I’m fine.”
He didn’t seem convinced. But instead of arguing, Nanami placed the basket down and gestured for you to follow him back towards the small house you shared. The villagers were already accustomed to seeing the two of you together, and while they didn’t openly question your presence, there was an unspoken distance between you and them.
As you walked beside him, you caught glimpses of their gazes, wary, guarded.
You  adjusted the strap of your bag, “They won’t even look at me in the eye,” you muttered as the other villagers brushed past you without a second thought. “Why?”
Nanami didn’t look at you immediately, instead adjusting his grip on the basket. “They don’t know who you are.”
“That’s exactly why they don’t trust me.” You exhaled sharply. “I don’t blame them.”
A pause.
Then, Nanami glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “It’s not just that.”
You blinked up at him. “What do you mean?”
His steps slowed as the two of you reached the wooden house, a modest structure, small but well-kept. He set the basket down on the porch, and after a beat of silence, he gestured to you.
“Look at yourself.”
You frowned but obeyed, glancing down at your clothes. “And what of it?” You eyes trail down to the garments. The robes you worn, though simple, were still of a higher quality than the villagers. The stitching, the cut, the deep indigo dye that refused to fade even after days of wear. The silk made you stick out like a sore thumb, but surely it was not envy that caused the entire village avoid you like the plague. These fabrics were a gift from your former mentor Yaga, after all. You couldn’t simply dispose of them.
“The embroidery on your robes, the color… no one other than those of the Imperial Royal Family may be adorned in it.” He exhaled, voice lowering. “It all says one thing: you belong to the emperor.”
A chill ran down your spine.
You swallowed.
Nanami studied your reaction before exhaling, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It was always him,” he murmured.
You looked up. “What?”
“He never let you out of his grasp.” His voice was quiet but weighted. “Even now, when you’re here… Gojo still lingers.”
The name alone sent a shiver down your spine.
Your fingers clenched at the fabric of your robes, suddenly feeling suffocated by it. You had spent so long trying to distance yourself from him, from the golden cage he had kept you in. And yet, here you were.
Still marked by him.
“Well then I need to get myself new clothes,” your hands fidgeting with the rich fibers of your clothing.
“No need,” Nanami pauses his ministrations to look at you. “I’ve already talked to the local seamstress and requested a much more appropriate wardrobe for you.”
For the first time in weeks, you feel a smile form on your face, “Just what would I do without you, Nanami?”
“I wonder the same thing,” he mutters, but you can hear the jest in his voice. He turns away to hide the small smile on his lips.
“Oh, you!” You point straight at the curve of his lips, disregarding the dirt on your hands. He tries to wave them away. “If it wasn’t for the fact that you are an eunuch you would make a damn good husband.”
“That’s… highly inappropriate for you to say,” a flush of pink makes its way to his face.
“Loosen up,” you shrug. “We’re not in the palace anymore.”
“There could be listening ears.”
“Here?” You scoff. “No way. They’ll never find us.”
A gust of wind passed through, rustling the trees. The scent of rain hung in the air, thick and heavy.
You followed him onto the porch, sinking down onto the wooden steps. A comfortable silence stretched between you both.
Nanami turned his head slightly. “Did you ever love him?”
The question wasn’t unexpected. But the answer…
Your hands tightened in your lap. Your chest ached.
“Yes,” you whispered. “I did.”
Nanami hummed, as if he already knew.
You bit your lip, gaze distant. “And that’s what makes it so hard.”
Nanami nodded, his usual sharp demeanor softening. “Love is never simple.”
You turned your head, looking at him with something close to curiosity. “Have you ever been in love, Nanami?”
For the first time that morning, you saw the corner of his lips twitch upward in something resembling amusement.
“I wouldn’t call it that.”
You raised a brow. “What would you call it, then?”
Nanami exhaled, resting his elbows on his knees. “An unfortunate attachment.”
That made you laugh, genuinely. The sound was warm, familiar, a reminder of a life before everything unraveled.
The tension in your chest eased, just slightly.
The wind blew again, carrying with it the distant laughter of children, the sound of a woman calling her husband home, the rustling of bamboo trees swaying in the breeze.
For a moment, just a fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to believe that this could last.
That this small, quiet life could be yours.
The village was peaceful that evening.
The last remnants of sunlight bled into the horizon, painting the sky in hues of deep amber and violet. The rice paddies stretched far into the distance, their golden stalks swaying gently with the breeze. Smoke curled from the thatched roofs of houses, the scent of simmering miso and fresh grain filling the air. Children ran through the dirt paths, their laughter ringing out like wind chimes, their innocence untouched by the quiet storm that lurked on the horizon.
You stood at the entrance of your small home, eyes trained on the fading sun. A cool wind brushed against your skin, raising goosebumps along your arms. Something about the stillness of the evening set you on edge, like the world itself was holding its breath.
Behind you, Nanami finished setting the table, his movements practiced and efficient. “Come inside,” he called, his voice steady as ever. “It’s getting cold.”
You hesitated, something in your gut twisting.
You had felt this before. A warning. A shift.
Slowly, you stepped inside, closing the wooden door behind you. The candlelight flickered, casting soft shadows against the walls. Nanami had prepared a modest meal, steamed rice, pickled vegetables, miso soup with tofu. You sat across from him, but the unease in your chest remained.
Nanami noticed. He always did.
His gaze flickered up, studying your expression. “You’re unsettled.”
You exhaled, pressing your palms against the warm ceramic of your bowl, seeking comfort in its heat. “It’s… too quiet.”
“The village is always quiet at this hour,” he pointed out.
You shook your head. “Not like this.”
A pause. Then, Nanami set down his chopsticks. “You sense something.”
You swallowed. “Don’t you?”
Nanami didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he leaned back slightly, his fingers tapping against the wooden table in thought. Finally, he spoke.
“There have been whispers.”
Your breath hitched. “What kind of whispers?”
He looked at you then, and something in his gaze was heavier than before.
“The kind that don’t reach villages like this unless they are meant to be heard.”
The food in your mouth suddenly tasted like dust.
Nanami continued, voice even but firm. “Travelers passing through have spoken of movement in the capital. The Zenin and Gojo clans are consolidating their forces after rumors of resistance in this region.”
Your stomach twisted.
The Gojo and Zenin clans consolidating must only mean one thing. 
Your fists clenched beneath the table. “It’s him, isn’t it? He married Himiko—and now they’re coming for us, calling it treason.” No matter how powerful Suguru was, you knew his silver tongue and lofty rank could only shield you for so long.
Nanami studied you for a moment. “There’s no confirmation.”
You let out a hollow laugh. “It doesn’t need confirmation.”
Because of course it would be him.
Who else could unite the two most powerful clans in Japan? Who else had the power to move an entire army without resistance? Who else had enough obsession to still chase you after all this time?
Nanami sighed, his expression unreadable. “If it is him… then this village may not be safe much longer.”
The air around you grew suffocating.
He was coming.
The weight of that realization settled deep into your bones, into the very marrow of your being. The small, fleeting life you had begun to carve out here, the quiet mornings, the warmth of the village, the laughter of children, the routine of simple tasks. It was all temporary.
Because Gojo Satoru was coming.
And he would burn the world to the ground to take you back. Out of cruelty. 
You pushed your bowl aside, suddenly losing your appetite. “We should leave.”
Nanami’s gaze darkened. “Not yet.”
Your brows furrowed. “Nanami–”
“If we leave now, we confirm the suspicions of anyone watching,” he said, voice low, calculated. “We need to be smart. We need time.”
You hated that he was right.
Silence stretched between you both, filled only by the distant sound of the wind rustling through the trees.
Then, Nanami did something unexpected.
He reached across the table, placing a hand over yours.
The touch was brief, steady, grounding. “We will figure this out.”
You stared at him, at the sharp angles of his face, at the unwavering certainty in his gaze. And for the first time since the unease settled into your chest, you believed him.
But still, deep in the back of your mind, you knew this was only the calm before the storm.
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The night, you dreamt of him. 
Not the kind of fleeting, disjointed dream that dissolves like mist upon waking, but the kind that wraps around your very soul, warm and golden, refusing to let go. It was the kind of dream that felt real, so heartbreakingly vivid that, for a moment, you were no longer lying in a modest village home with the scent of burning wood creeping in from the outside world, no longer burdened by the weight of the choices you had made. You were home.
Not the home you had made for yourself in exile, but the home of your past, a home gilded with silken screens and quiet whispers, with polished floors that gleamed beneath lantern light, and with delicate tapestries woven with the history of an empire you had once believed could be yours. The place where you had once walked with the quiet assurance of someone who belonged, where your voice had been heard, where your name had been spoken with reverence rather than secrecy.
It was spring. The season of renewal, of beginnings, of hope.
You found yourself beneath the vast expanse of the sky, the air thick with the heady perfume of blooming wisteria and the faint, refreshing scent of the nearby stream that wound through the imperial gardens. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, their pale petals drifting lazily through the air like whispered promises, catching in your hair and dusting the ground in a carpet of soft pink. The wind carried the sound of distant laughter, the gentle rustling of leaves.
And above you–
Satoru.
His silhouette was bathed in the afternoon light, the golden hues catching in his white hair, making him look almost otherworldly. He leaned over you, one arm braced against the soft grass, shielding his eyes against the sun’s glare, the other resting lightly beside your shoulder. His robes, though still of the finest silk, were simple today, stripped of the heavy embroidery and rigid embellishments that marked him as the heir to the most powerful clan in the land. The imperial crest was absent from his attire, and for once, he was just Satoru.
And his eyes.
Brilliant, piercing cerulean, sharp and knowing yet warm in a way that only he could be. You had spent so much of your life searching for the ocean’s reflection in them, for the endless sky in the depths of that unrelenting blue, and now, after all this time, they looked at you like you were the only thing that had ever truly mattered.
He studied you for a long moment, his expression unreadable, the shadow of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 
“You’re staring,” he mused, his voice smooth as silk, his amusement evident in the lazy drawl of his words.
You huffed softly, turning onto your side, the grass cool beneath your palms. “I’m admiring,” you corrected, your tone just as light.
Satoru chuckled, his laughter as rich and effortless as it had always been, a sound that made the world feel lighter, that made you feel lighter. “Is there a difference?” he asked, feigning innocence, though the mischief in his eyes betrayed him.
You sighed, exasperated but fond. “One makes you sound less arrogant.”
He grinned at that, finally shifting to lie beside you, stretching out as if the entire world belonged to him. And in a way, it did.
But in this moment, he belonged to you.
“Pft,” he blows a raspberry into the air. “Let me bask in it, will you? You never give me this kind of attention.”
The wind stirred the branches above, sending another cascade of petals drifting down around you, a few landing in the silver strands of his hair. Without thinking, you reached out, brushing them away, your fingertips barely skimming the silk of his robes as you did. He didn’t move, didn’t flinch, only watched you with that same unwavering gaze, as if he were committing you to memory, as if he were terrified you might disappear before his eyes.
“You know,” he murmured after a moment, his voice quieter now, as though he, too, did not want to shatter the fragile peace between you, “I wish we could stay like this.”
Your breath caught in your throat.
Because so did you.
More than anything, you wished for a world in which this moment, this feeling, this love could exist without consequence.
But you were not foolish. You had always known the truth.
This was never a love that could be without suffering. You were only a concubine, after all. A spoil of war. Not fit to be made an empress. 
You swallowed, willing yourself to keep your voice steady. “We can’t,” you said, though you hated the way the words tasted on your tongue.
Satoru turned his head to face you more fully, his expression unreadable at first, before something flickered across his features, something softer, something pleading.
“Who says?” he asked, and his tone was so quiet, so unlike the brash, overconfident man you had known, that it made your heart ache. “Tell me who says we can’t, and I’ll destroy them.”
You laughed then, a small, sad sound, because you knew he meant it.
“Satoru.”
“I’m serious.” He propped himself up on one elbow, his free hand coming to rest just beside your wrist, close enough that you could feel his warmth but far enough that he wasn’t touching you. “What’s stopping us? The court? The elders? The weight of the empire? Let them have it all. I don’t need any of it.”
You turned to look at him fully now, your chest tightening at the raw honesty in his face, the way he looked at you as if you were his entire world.
And maybe, once upon a time, you had been.
But the world did not belong to you and Satoru alone.
You reached out, letting your fingers trail lightly over his knuckles before pulling away. “You don’t mean that,” you whispered, though a part of you desperately wanted to believe that he did.
Satoru’s jaw clenched, his fingers twitching as if resisting the urge to grab your hand and never let go. “I do.”
And maybe, for that moment, he truly believed it.
But deep down, you both knew better.
The empire would never let him go.
Just as it would never let you be his.
The breeze picked up again, scattering more petals through the air, the scent of cherry blossoms thick and sweet, overwhelming. You wanted to stay here, in this moment, forever. You wanted to pretend that this could last, that you could stay in his arms and never worry about what came next.
But the moment began to waver, the edges of the dream blurring, the sunlight dimming.
And then, suddenly, the gardens were gone.
The warmth, the laughter, the scent of cherry blossoms… all of it melted away into smoke.
Your dream had shifted to another scene.
It was of the familiar scene of the bustling city just outside of the Outer Palace. The capital city had always been lively, but today it seemed to hum with an extra spark. The streets bustled with merchants peddling fragrant spices and embroidered silks, laughter echoed from the open-air teahouses, and the golden rooftops of the imperial palace gleamed under the afternoon sun like something out of a story.
You had just returned from your weekly errand, fetching a fresh batch of pastries from the emperor’s favorite bakery. The baker’s son had been in high spirits as usual, teasing you for being the only person in the city who could make the imperial kitchens jealous with how often you snuck in outside food.
But it wasn’t just the pastries you carried today.
A tiny, delicate flower rested in the palm of your hand, given to you by a child, a sweet little girl who had tugged on your sleeve just as you were leaving the marketplace.
"For you, miss!" she had chirped, eyes bright with admiration.
You had accepted it with a beaming smile, ruffling her hair before she scurried back to her group of friends, giggling and chattering about how pretty the imperial concubine was.
The city loved you.
Perhaps it was because you were one of them, despite the palace silks and the golden embroidery of the Gojo clan stitched into your robes, you had never let your status turn you into something untouchable.
So there you were, practically glowing, a flower twirling between your fingers as you strolled through the palace gardens, utterly unaware that your mere existence was about to ruin the emperor’s evening.
Because at that very moment, Satoru Gojo was staring at you with the expression of a man moments away from declaring war. He had been waiting at the gates of his own palace unceremoniously, counting down the seconds until you made it back, only for his bright spirits to be crushed.
By a flower.
A single, wretched flower.
In your hand.
And you were smiling.
Satoru didn’t even realize he had stopped in his tracks. His mind, sharp and dangerously quick, was already cycling through the list of punishments he could bestow upon the unfortunate soul who had given it to you.
Banishment? Too lenient. Public humiliation? Getting warmer. Immediate execution? …No, too messy. Forced labor in the outer provinces? Perfect.
His hands flexed at his sides. His jaw ticked. His vision tunneled.
He was going to make an example out of whoever had dared…
And then, you turned, your eyes meeting his.
And you smiled even brighter.
"Your Majesty!" you called, voice light with amusement, as if he weren’t currently five seconds away from storming the dungeons and demanding names.
You all but skipped toward him, the flower still twirling between your fingers, completely unaware of the absolute existential crisis you had just caused.
Gojo’s icy blue gaze flickered between your face and the flower, as if trying to determine which offended him more.
"What," he began, his tone deceptively casual, "is that?"
You blinked. "A flower?"
His eye twitched.
"I can see that," he muttered, before stepping closer—close enough that the sheer heat of his presence sent a shiver down your spine. "I meant, who gave it to you?"
You tilted your head, feigning innocence. "Why do you assume someone gave it to me? Maybe I plucked it from the fields myself."
Satoru let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Ha." He leaned in, lowering his voice. "Try again, sweetheart."
Your lips twitched, but before you could answer, a voice piped up–
"It was me!"
Both of you turned to find a child, the same little girl from earlier, standing at the edge of the gates of the Outer Palace, her face alight with pride.
"I gave her the flower!" she repeated, puffing out her chest. "Because she’s the prettiest lady in the whole city!"
Silence. A long, long silence.
Gojo stared. You suppressed laughter.
His entire body visibly relaxed.
The tension in his jaw disappeared, the storm in his eyes cleared, and for a single, fleeting moment, the Emperor of Japan looked genuinely speechless.
And then, he scoffed.
"Well, I suppose I can’t punish a child," he muttered, crossing his arms with a dramatic sigh. "What a shame."
You finally let out a laugh, shaking your head as you knelt beside the girl. "Thank you, little one," you whispered, tucking the flower into your sleeve.
The girl giggled before scurrying away, leaving just the two of you standing in the palace once more.
Satoru watched you carefully, his arms still crossed, his signature smirk just barely returning to his lips.
"You looked like you were five seconds away from passing a death sentence," you teased, eyeing him with amusement.
His expression didn’t waver.
"Oh, I was."
You rolled your eyes. "And what would you have done if it wasn’t a child?"
Gojo hummed, tilting his head as if considering. "Well…" His smirk sharpened. "Let’s just say the baker’s son would have found himself mysteriously exiled to the coldest province in the empire."
You froze.
Your stomach dropped.
Because oh– oh no.
He knew.
Satoru watched, relishing in the way your posture stiffened, the way your gaze flickered just slightly, as if calculating whether it was worth denying it.
"Your Majesty, I–"
"You what?" He raised a brow, leaning in once more, his voice dipping into something dangerously sweet.
"You think I wouldn’t hear about the little romance rumors floating around the palace?" He chuckled, voice laced with something possessive, something undeniably jealous. "You think I wouldn’t know about the way the baker’s son looks at you?"
You swallowed. "It’s just gossip."
"Is it?"
Gojo’s voice was far too amused, far too smug, because he already knew the answer.
And then, just because he could, he lowered his voice even further, leaning in until his lips were barely a breath away from your ear.
"Promise me you won’t leave me."
Your heart stopped.
You turned to him, but the moment you did, he pulled back, flashing you a grin that was far too pleased with itself.
"Don’t look so surprised," he mused, turning on his heel and walking away, hands tucked into his sleeves.
Then, over his shoulder.
"After all, I won’t let anyone take you away."
And then you’re awaken.
Your chest heaved, your skin damp with sweat, your heart pounding so violently against your ribs that for a moment, you couldn’t breathe.
The room was dark. Cold.
How cruel your mind was to remind you of such warm times.
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The early morning light filtered through the wooden shutters, casting long golden streaks across the small room. Outside, the village was already stirring with women gathering water from the well, the rhythmic pounding of rice in wooden mortars, the occasional laugh of a child running past. The scent of damp earth and fresh grass filled the air, mingling with the faint aroma of dried herbs that hung from the ceiling.
Inside, you sat on the floor, weaving together dried reeds into a basket, fingers moving deftly despite the lingering morning chill. Across from you, Nanami was sharpening a knife, the slow, deliberate drag of steel against stone filling the quiet space between you.
It was a comfortable silence, one that had settled between you both over the past two weeks, a rhythm that neither of you spoke of, yet understood nonetheless.
“You’re getting better at that,” Nanami remarked, not looking up from his work.
You snorted softly, twisting another reed into place. “You sound surprised.”
“I am.”
You tossed a loose strand of reed at him. He caught it midair without even glancing, setting it aside with a faint huff of amusement.
Nanami tilted his head slightly, observing you from the corner of his eye. “What?”
You blinked, realizing you had been staring. “Nothing.”
His brow arched slightly, but he let it go, returning to his blade. The light glinted off the edge, sharp and lethal. You watched the way his hands moved steady.
Something in your chest tightened.
“You don’t think this is going to last, do you?” you asked suddenly.
Nanami paused.
The scrape of the whetstone against steel stopped, leaving only the distant sounds of the village outside. Slowly, he set the blade down, his gaze meeting yours, level and unreadable.
“…No.”
A lump formed in your throat. You nodded, looking away. “Neither do I.”
Silence.
Then, a sound.
Distant, almost imperceptible. A strange sort of rumbling.
Your fingers stopped weaving.
Nanami was already rising to his feet, his entire body going rigid. His hand went to the knife on the table. His sharp gaze flickered toward the window, toward the thin slit between the shutters. His breath was slow, measured, but you could feel the shift in his presence, the quiet kind of alertness that came before a storm.
And then a scream erupted.
Distant. But close enough.
Your blood ran cold.
Nanami moved.
He crossed the room in two strides, yanking the shutters open. And what you saw fire.
Distant but spreading.
Smoke rising in thick columns from the edge of the village, black against the early morning sky. The distinct sound of hooves against dirt, of metal clashing, of doors being kicked in. Then, through the haze of rising flames, you saw banners. Not just any banners.
Gojo’s crest.
Your breath hitched.
Nanami didn’t hesitate. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you toward the back entrance. “We need to move.”
Your heart was hammering in your chest, feet stumbling as you let him drag you forward. This was happening.
He had found you.
Gojo had found you.
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Days before the raid, the palace pulsed with restless energy. Servants flitted through the corridors, their hurried steps echoing against the lacquered floors as they fastened armor, sharpened blades, and prepared provisions. The campaign was supposed to be routine, a small raid to quell rumors of insurrection in a remote village. Yet, the Emperor himself was leading the charge.
No one questioned it aloud. But the whispers wove through the palace like smoke.
In his private chambers, Gojo stood at the window, watching the courtyard below as soldiers mounted their horses, their banners snapping in the cold wind. His reflection stared back at him in the glass. His grip tightened behind his back.
"You’re awfully tense for such a minor skirmish," Himiko mused, lounging on the divan behind him. The golden silk of her robes pooled around her like a shimmering snare. She lifted a cup to her lips, watching him over the rim, her gaze sharp. "One might think there’s more at stake here than a simple village purge."
Gojo didn’t turn.
"One might."
Silence stretched between them, heavy with everything left unsaid.
Himiko hummed, setting her cup down with a delicate clink. "You’ve always been so stubborn. So unwilling to accept the order of things." She rose, crossing the room with slow, deliberate steps. "It’s a shame, really. You could’ve been content. You could’ve let go."
Her fingers brushed his sleeve. A touch meant to soothe. To remind.
His hand snapped up, catching her wrist before she could go any further.
Himiko stilled, lips parting in the slightest gasp. Not from pain, he wasn’t squeezing hard enough for that. But his grip was firm, unyielding. The weight of it said more than any words could.
A muscle flickered in Gojo’s jaw. "Do you think this is forever?" His voice was quiet, but there was something in it that made the candlelight tremble.
Himiko’s smile didn’t falter, but something in her gaze shifted. "I think," she murmured, tilting her head, "that you’re still bound by the same chains as always. No matter how strong you are, some things can’t be undone."
Gojo released her. The moment stretched, brittle as ice. Then he turned, striding toward the door, his long robes whispering against the floor.
Outside, his men were waiting. His horse was waiting.
And somewhere beyond the mountains, the one thing he had ever truly wanted was waiting.
He had wasted enough time.
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The streets were already chaos. Villagers running, shrieking, clutching their children as armed soldiers stormed through the narrow paths. Houses were being torn apart, doors broken down. Soldiers clad in imperial armor barked orders, swords flashing as they cut down those who resisted.
Your breath came short, panic clawing at your throat.
Nanami’s grip on your wrist was firm. “Stay close.”
You barely nodded, your body moving on instinct as he guided you through the chaos. You ducked behind a stack of crates, pressing yourself against the wood as two soldiers passed by. Nanami’s body shielded yours, his presence grounding you even as your hands trembled.
A sharp whistle.
Nanami cursed, shoving you aside just as an arrow embedded itself into the wood where your head had been a moment ago.
You gasped.
Another whistle.
Nanami moved. He spun, his knife flashing, a throw, a sickening thud, a body crumpling.
Blood.
It hit the dirt in a slow, steady stream.
You stared.
Nanami grabbed your face, forcing your gaze back to him. “Focus.”
Your lips parted, breath shuddering. But you nodded.
He pulled you forward, weaving through the panicked masses. The exit. You needed to get to the forest to escape before it was too late.
A tall figure clad in white and blue, standing at the center of the destruction, untouched by the chaos.
Gojo Satoru.
Your feet froze.
His eyes locked onto yours instantly. Even from across the village square, even through the haze of smoke and bodies, you could feel the weight of his gaze. The way his body shifted the moment he saw you.
For a moment, nothing else existed.
Nanami saw him at the same time. His entire body went rigid.
Gojo took a slow step forward. His imperial robes billowed slightly with the movement, the embroidery glinting under the firelight, his armor forged from precious metals glistened in the sunlight. His sword hung at his hip, untouched, as if he hadn’t even needed to lift it.
Nanami’s grip on your arm tightened.
Gojo’s expression darkened. His gaze flickered between the two of you visibly irked by the domestic dynamic that had recently developed.
His lips parted, his voice cutting through the carnage like a blade. “Found you.”
Your stomach twisted.
Nanami moved.
But Gojo was faster.
Before either of you could react, a blur of motion, a gust of force, unstoppable. Nanami was on the ground. The blond man coughed out blood.
Your scream barely had time to leave your throat before Gojo was in front of you, too close, too fast. His fingers wrapped around your wrist. Unyielding.
The air was thick with the scent of smoke and blood, the distant wails of the ravaged village melding into the wind. Your hands trembled as you clenched them at your sides, willing yourself to remain still. The weight of the past, of every wound he had inflicted upon you, settled deep in your bones.
“Running from me again?” His voice was a whisper of thunder, low and dangerous. “I thought we were past that.”
You had been running for so long, but had you ever truly escaped him? Every step you took away from him, every sleepless night, every whispered prayer for his absence, and yet here he was, a specter that refused to fade.
Your heart leapt to your throat as his fingers clamped around your wrist, tightening as you attempted to yank yourself free. His other hand rose, tracing the curve of your cheek with deceptive gentleness, the callouses rough against your skin.
“Did you truly believe I wouldn’t come for you?”
Your breath came shallow. “Gojo–”
His fingers curled against your jaw, forcing you to meet his gaze. His expression was unreadable, but his unrelenting grip told a different story. He had always been relentless, hadn’t he? No matter how much you tried to pull away, he found his way back, like a tide that refused to recede.
“Nanami,” he said coldly. “Do your job. Lead the men back.”
A moment of hesitation, a flicker of something like pity in Nanami’s eyes before he turned away. You were glad he did. Gojo had spared him enough not to strike him down on the spot. 
Soon, only the two of you remained, locked in a battle more ferocious than the ones fought with swords.
His forehead pressed against yours, his breath mingling with your own. Your attempts to struggle were fruitless; his body caged you, muscles honed by years of war making it impossible to flee. The warmth of him, the sheer familiarity of his presence, made something inside you ache against your will.
“Why do you run?” His voice was softer now, coaxing.
Your lips curled in a bitter smile. “Are you nothing more than a brute?”
His grip faltered, a shadow of hurt flashing in his eyes. But you didn’t care. His pain was nothing compared to the agony he had inflicted upon you.
“You claim to care for me,” you spat, voice shaking with fury, “yet you cast me aside like a discarded pawn. You chose another, again and again, and then have the audacity to crawl back to me.”
Your voice cracked, but your anger did not waver.
“You humiliated me. You shattered my world and toyed with my heart like it was nothing more than a trinket. I hate you, Gojo Satoru. I hate you so much it consumes me.”
The tears spilled unchecked, your body trembling as the dam within you finally broke. You were certain you looked wretched, but dignity was a luxury you had long since abandoned.
His silence was unbearable. The weight of his guilt pressed between you, thick and suffocating, but you refused to let it soften you.
“You have hurt me beyond repair,” you whispered. “I always knew our love would bring pain, but I never thought it would be at your hands.”
Satoru swallowed hard, his large hands wiping away each tear as they fell.
“You lied to me,” you murmured, fists weakly beating against his chest. He lets you.
“I did.”
“You banished me.”
“I did.”
“You told me you loved me.”
His grip tightened. “I do.”
Your breath hitched. “I hate you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” you insisted, though the conviction was waning. Did you? Did you truly?
His lips brushed against your temple, his hands cradling your face with unbearable tenderness, “Don’t you know that you’re killing me? That your words pierce me like no other blade?”
You exhaled shakily. “Then why aren’t you dead yet?”
A broken sound left his throat as he pulled you impossibly closer, until your bodies were melded together, until his warmth became a prison of its own.
“Take it back,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse. “Please.”
But you said nothing, staring past him to the charred ruins beyond. Nanami had rallied the men, but the damage had already been done. And so had the damage to your heart. 
“Your army is leaving,” you said numbly. “Why don’t you go join them, General?”
His face was flushed, his eyes bloodshot. And yet, as much as you wanted it to, the sight did not disgust you. Instead, a sick sense of satisfaction curled within you at his suffering.
“Not until you come back,” he declared. "Until you let me explain myself."
You laughed, sharp and humorless. It did not deter him.
He continues his plea, “You can humiliate me in the palace. You can strip me of every last shred of dignity. Do whatever you wish."
He pauses.
"Just come back.”
You tried to put distance between you, but his hold remained firm.
“You still don’t understand, do you?” Your voice wavered. “I am not yours anymore. I haven’t been yours since you chose her. Since you cast me aside for the sake of your kingdom.”
By now, Satoru’s trembling lips had given way to the relentless shaking of his entire body, “I never touched her. My hand was forced. Nothing happened.” Somewhere amid your onslaught, Satoru had forgotten how to breathe. His chest rose in shallow, uneven gasps, his shoulders trembling beneath the weight of words he couldn’t take back. His fingers curled into fists so tight they trembled, knuckles drained of color. He was unraveling right in front of you.
“Everyone around me speaks of my destiny, as if it were carved into the heavens themselves. They whisper that I was born to rule Japan, to claim a throne, to take a noble wife like Himiko and secure a legacy of power.” Satoru’s voice trembles, raw and desperate, as he buries his face in your hair, inhaling deeply like he’s trying to commit you to memory. His hands clutch you tighter, as if you might slip through his fingers at any moment.
“But none of that means a damn thing to me. My destiny isn’t a kingdom—it’s you. It always has been. My place is by your side, not on a throne. I would spend a thousand lifetimes serving you, worshiping you, loving you. We were made for each other, meant to grow old together, to laugh and fight and dream until the very end. To pass down our love, our story—not to this damn empire, but to our grandchildren.”
His breath is shaky against your skin, his grip unrelenting. “Please,” he whispers, voice breaking, “don’t take that from me.”
You wanted to. Wanted to reach for him, to piece him back together, but the raw ache in your chest held you still.
How many times have you stood here, waiting for him to say something, anything, that would make the hurt go away? How many times have you let yourself believe that his silence wasn’t a choice?
You swallowed hard, throat burning. “You don’t get to do this,” you whispered.
His head jerked up, eyes wide, pleading.
“You don’t get to shake and break down and expect me to forget everything,” you continued, voice cracking. “You left me. You let me believe I didn’t matter.”
Satoru exhaled sharply, like the words had physically struck him. “I never–”
“Don’t.” You shook your head, stepping back when he tried to move closer. “Just don’t.”
The silence between them was thick, heavy with unsaid things. Satoru’s breaths came fast and shallow, his entire body vibrating with something between anguish and regret.
Still, you held on to the hurt. Let it press against your ribs, let it remind you that you weren’t just here to be broken all over again. You weren’t ready to forgive him. Not yet. But damn it, you wanted to.
“If it will ease your doubts, I’ll have her head in glass by morning.”
You shuddered. “I don’t want her dead.”
“Then she lives to see another day.”
“And the Zenins?” Your teeth clenched, voice shaking with restrained fury. “I tried to warn you about them, tried to protect you, but you chose to humiliate me instead.”
His fingers traced the curve of your jaw, deliberate and lingering, as if etching you into his memory. “I am truly sorry,” he murmured, his voice softer now, edged with regret. “It was a foolish attempt to keep you safe from those damn elders. I may be the ceremonial head of this country, but their power is undeniable. Your banishment was my own foolish doing to protect you after my mistress was forced upon me. I knew I was lost when I couldn’t breathe without your presence in the palace. The days blurred together, and my duties felt like nothing but a slow death. So, I tried to bring you back as my servant. It was safer that way. You were close, within reach, but still out of grasp. At least you were there. But then... I ruined it all. ”
You hadn’t tried to bite his finger off yet. He took it as an unspoken truce, leaning in, his presence overwhelming, his warmth sinking into your skin. “Not that it matters though. I'm going to kill those geezers and have their heads strung in front of the palace.” A flicker of a smirk ghosted his lips, but his eyes held something far more dangerous.
“I may be a fool,” he admitted, his breath brushing against you, “but I am not weak. So don’t waste a single thought on them.” His fingers curled under your chin, tilting your face toward his. “No one, not them, not fate itself, will take you from me.”
A cruel part of you savored the power you held over him. But you wanted him to suffer longer before you gave the satisfaction of knowing that your heart had softened. “I haven’t forgiven you.”
His hands trembled. “We have a lifetime for that.”
"How arrogant of you to assume I’d ever choose to spend a lifetime with you." Your voice was quiet, but the weight of your words struck like a blade.
You shouldn't feel as satisfied as you did when you watched Gojo Satoru, the strongest man alive crumpled. His breath hitched, his knees buckling beneath him as if the sheer force of your rejection had stolen the ground from under him.
Still, he reached for you. Desperation bled into his touch, fingers digging into your sleeves as though letting go would mean losing you forever. His voice, usually laced with arrogance and ease, was stripped raw.
“Then I don’t see a point in living.”
The weight of his confession clung to the air, thick and suffocating, and yet he only looked at you, as if the universe itself had been reduced to the space between his hands and your skin.
“And what of your crown?” you finally whispered.
His laugh was hollow, almost broken. “I’d throw it away if it meant keeping you. If it meant you will let me be yours.”
Then, as if surrendering himself entirely, both knees met the dirt. His hands, once accustomed to wielding absolute power, clung to your waist, not as an emperor, not as the strongest, but as a man begging to be allowed to stay.
His eyes burned into yours, pleading, unraveling.
And for the first time, you let him hold you. This time, you didn’t pull away.
A shuddering breath left his lips against your skin, as if he couldn’t believe you were real, as if he feared you might slip away the moment he let go. His grip tightened, not in possession, but in reverence.
The wind whispered through the trees, carrying the scent of rain, of earth, of something on the verge of breaking.
"I expect you to kneel at my feet and beg for years to come." You murmured, fingers brushing against the strands of his silver hair. A handful of hair is gripped tightly, fingers digging in with purpose. "Perhaps then, I might even consider you once more."
His throat bobbed. "If that is what it takes."
This was not just an apology, nor was it a confession. It was surrender in the purest sense. The weight of his kingdom, his sins, his power. All of it, cast aside for you. It was the justice you deserved after all the pain you endured.
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reblogs and comments are appreciated mwah!
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rusticfurnace · 8 months ago
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GHOSTSOAP // "you sweet fucker" MINICOMIC!!!
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shikisei · 11 months ago
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ok stupid question my bad
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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 4 months ago
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying “LET me kill the joker” to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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wilsonmybeloved · 5 months ago
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ive literally never interacted with the rats smp ever besides like once
but ren and martyn exist. and a lot of my other favorite creators. so we're going headfirst into rat yaoi. raoi, if you will. ratataoi?? ratatouille yaoi? ...ill work on it
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xxplastic-cubexx · 5 months ago
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[right to left]
finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants
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nmakii · 2 months ago
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inspired by @kaislvves’s bastard post… ps: i acc love dior sauvage its my scent for when i go to school but its so strong HAHAHAHA
kaiser’s cologne has an overwhelming scent. not just in a way that two sprays could fill the entire bastard münchen cafeteria in his scent, but also in a way that lasts. his scent lasts on for a week before it finally wears off.
what’s his scent? dior sauvage, the scent of liars. kaiser likes the overwhelming presence of its’ scent; it’s as powerful as he is.
he loves to spray his cologne all over your closet and clothes, making sure that whatever you wear, and whatever perfume you try to wear to overpower it, you end up on the other side smelling of him.
it’s adorable how you spray on your 70 euro hermès perfume, checking out your outfit in the full-body mirror in your bedroom, before you’re coughing and choking on his overwhelming scent.
“mikka!” you shout out. “stop spraying your perfume on my clothes, it’s so strong!” you frown. his attention is finally raised away from his phone when he finally looks up to you, small circle-framed glasses starting to slide down his nose before he pushes it up with his middle finger.
“why should i? i like doing it.” he simply states. that’s just how he was; how he was raised— if he wants something, he must do everything to take it. likewise, if he wants to keep something, he has to make sure no one else steals it.
and with a job that forces him to almost always be out of country, he can’t help but worry about his rose. what if another piece of trash tries to flirt with you while you’re vulnerable? the overwhelming, almost sickly scent of citrus and pepper would be enough to tell them to back off; you’re already taken by another man.
“yeah; well, i don’t like it. it always lingers for too long.” you explain. and to kaiser, your explanation is moronic. “…that’s the point of a cologne; to linger.” he bluntly states. you roll your eyes at his smart-assed response, and scoff, “ugh— duh, but it stays on for days!”
kaiser only shrugs. “good. everyone knows you’re taken.” he’s quite adamant to telling the media what fragrance he uses. it’s odd, but he always encourages his interviewers to smell him in at least one point of the interview, giving him the chance to comment on his fragrance. it’s become a bit of a meme in his fandom that he wants to get sponsored by dior. but, no.
this isn’t about money.
it’s about everyone knowing his scent.
like a wolf marking his territory, kaiser leaves his scent on what he owns. and what he owns is you; your heart. it’s not enough that you love him with your heart as much as he cherishes you— he needs others to feel him spiritually when you’re nearby.
“this is stupid, mikka. none of my perfumes linger anymore cause of your dumb sauvage.” you scoff. and, kaiser stands up from his place in the bedroom, moving behind you. his overwhelming height makes for an awkward position when he rests his arms on your shoulders, and his jaw on your forehead. he stares at the reflection in the mirror, admiring of his and your beauty. the glint in his eyes is dangerous— as dangerous as the cheshire grin he proudly displays before he completely destroys an opponent in a match.
“would you want different kind of physical marking then?” he asks. his fingers delicately ghosting to touch the ticklish parts of your neck.
“…no.” you roll your eyes. kaiser sneers.
“then, you’ll have to stick with the cologne.”
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eyeheartboobiez · 7 months ago
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shower sex w/ jason
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ask: I’ve been craving backshots with Jaybird(possibly in the shower)and reader being blackout cockdrunk, I don’t know if you’re comfortable with degradation, praise/degradation or slightly mean!Jason so I’ll leave that optional(if you’re not comfortable with that forget I ever said that). And ofc filthy dirty talk is always welcome 😉
a/n: @nyxx01 IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG I HOPE U LIKE IT
wc: 800-ish
tw: subspace themes
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"Shut up and take it."
The steam radiating throughout the bathroom was nothing compared to what was actually happening in the shower. What was supposed to be a simple wash after a night out, abruptly turned into something much more pornographic.
For hours now, Jason had been plowing into your entrance, not thinking too let up in the slightest. You were surprised the water hadn’t gone cold considering the two of you had been at it for hours now.
Despite the hot water cascading down your skin, your nipples grazing the tile of the wall, or even the slight clutch of Jason’s hand around your throat, you felt completely stripped of all your senses. 
Absolutely weak in the knees by now, your body had gone completely limp from being handled so brutally. The sobs of pleasure slipping from your lips were the only signs of life from you. 
As the rhythm of Jason’s thrusts shook your entire body, you were sure you’d have fallen over by now had it not been for his iron grip around your torso. "Jace,” you huffed, “Jus’ gimme a sec-"
A piercing smack shrilled through the air, loud enough to be heard between the pouring water and your shameless moans. You didn’t even realize how much your rear stung until you noticed callused hands teasingly rub at the stricken area, “Nuh uh, you don't get to talk. Not right now."
The vigilante moved to grip you by your elbows, his hips still thrusting at an unforgiving pace. Tears stained your cheeks as you began to cry, the saltiness of your cries somehow finding a way to stand out against the tap water around you. 
"Aww, you crying sweetheart? I thought you wanted to be treated like a whore t’night, hm? Thought this was what you wanted, baby.” His teases did nothing but add to your arousal, only hurting you on a surface level.
“I should just spread you open and pound you till tomorrow, huh?" He cooed. “I’d finally fuck the brat outta you. Maybe then you’ll start being good ‘fa me.”
You practically shuddered at the thought, desperate to be filled with more of Jason’s cum. His feigned sympathy made your eyes water even more.
However, that dream was quickly shut down. His sudden talkativeness was a telltale sign that he was close to reaching his peak.
Not even a minute later, you felt his hips shudder vigorously against your backside, the grip on you tightening as he was pushed over the edge. Ropes of cum pulsed from the girth between his legs, penetrating deep within your sensitive hole
“Mmmf, there we go.” Groans sputtered from his mouth, languid praises rumbling from chest, “That’s it hon, give it to me.”
Following him in sequence, you reached your final orgasm of the night. Your knees buckled and convulsions took over your body as you felt the climax rush through you. 
Before you could hit the floor though, the Gothamite was quick to catch you in his arms. Gently, he sat you down on the floor of the tub, making sure to angle you away from the pouring water.
Feeling the ground beneath you, your senses were slowly coming back to you. While you weren’t necessarily dickmatized anymore, your thoughts were still a bit hazy.
The water rinsing you down, a fresh towel drying you off, butter massaging its way into your skin; everything happened in a blur. But, even while your mind was still trying to catch up with the world around you, you knew that you were in good hands.
“C'mon doll, help me out a little here.” Blinking into reality, you looked to see you were sat on the edge of your bed, dressed in one of your boyfriend’s tee shirts. Jason was standing between your legs, attempting to wrap your hair for the night, but your drowsy figure was no help whatsoever.
Straightening up, you moved to make the job easier for him. “There ya’ go,” he muttered, the low timbre of his voice only lulling you further to sleep, “Look at you bein’ so good for me now.”
Once your mane was taken care of, you hastily made your way under the sheets, the soft fabric covering you in a blanket of warmth. After making sure you were comfortable, the batboy made his way over to his side of the bed, settling himself in right beside you.
Although, just as you were about to clock out for the night, Jason squished your cheeks together, forcing your eyes to meet his, "Maybe next time think twice before flirting with the bartender, hm?"
You knew he was still irritated with you, but the goodnight kiss he left on your forehead told you he’d get over it. Sooner or later.
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a/n: this reads like a wattpad fic (derogatory)
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jazzradio · 9 days ago
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seekers death spiral
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biomechabird · 1 year ago
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Despite everything, it's still you.
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idiotsonlyevent · 5 months ago
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it is completely understandable to be uncomfortable with the sexual assault in dandadan. it's important to discuss how it's framed, whether it's handled poorly, or if it could be been portrayed better. but the number of people - even fans - stating that it is only fanservice, irrelevant, or could be removed is frankly bizarre to for SO many reasons, starting with the fact that this parallel exists.
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the anime made it even more obvious by interpolating cuts from the first scene into the second one.
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i thought this scene showed that momo gaining her powers by believing in her relationship with her grandmother gives her the strength to fight back against what is basically a horrific, much more aggressive and abstract (maybe even absurd?) representation of her shitty gross ex - who was demanding she 'put out' and pay for the love hotel in very first scene.
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while the escalation from one scene to the next is surprising, it's not something that comes out of nowhere. this first scene is meant to be a set-up to what will happen later. it sets the tone, though significantly more lighthearted at this point. it tells you that sex, sexuality, etc. is something dandadan will touch on - though you don't know what the scope and depth will be until later in the chapter.
i cannot recommend this video enough, as it discusses some interesting interpretations of what the serpoians and turbo granny represent in their respective assault scenes, as well as how right now the treatment of both scenes is unfortunately uneven.
more notes about plot and thematic relevance below the cut. spoilers for anime-onlies (up to chapter 8, will probably be covered in episodes 4/5).
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momo was assaulted, and almost cut up by the serpoians, much like the other victims turbo granny appeared around. this is an intentional parallel. turbo granny goes to momo because that is what she does. again, SUPER unclear how that factors into turbo granny's assault of ken, but if we keep the video's interpretation of cynicism in mind, it could be related to that; maybe turbo granny has a cynicism toward men - similar to momo in chapter/episode 1 - and this is why she chose to attack ken. unfortunately, it's still too early to really understand and explain a lot of her motivations.
again, completely understandable to not like how the sexual assault was handled or portrayed, and it's important to keep discussing it. but this is what dandadan does for many different types of trauma and difficult life experiences. this is a huge part of dandadan's identity. if you don't like it, that is fine, but calling the sexual assault 'just fan service' is blatantly untrue.
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