#im feeling very unmotivated these days

[here-2suffer]

Hey yall guess what

Since I couldn't get the 4th chapter out this month, I will do one last thing for you guys in Mermay. Behold.... THE BOYS

I stayed up to the ungodly hours of the morning figuring out how to make these, and coloring the boys for their pfps. I hope you guys enjoy this, and I'm very sorry for the delay.

Also gonna tag people that have shown interest in Fish Tales before here just so yall can see lol:

@total-fandom-tr45h @justaduckarts @peste-bubonica @laymedowntorest @icedmetaltea @remidraws @thesilentnobody9 @kattramen @yakamashi-ao3 sorry if I forgot anyone but these are who comes to mind

[pink-lemonadefairy]

[yuomizuu]

wanting someone to proofread my writing because i cannot stand reading it myself but also cant stand having other people read it

[asummersday]

when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Feeling bad and I don't know what to do with myself

[allovertheplace-writing]

Shroom 😭 ilysm <33 thank you, thank you for being my friend!

@nordicbananas (ty for tagging me! i didn't know i was your first friend on here - i'm very much honored <333) @omkookie @azxremoon @astrxealis @meltingblue

i may not have many friends, but i love each and every one of you so so much. you guys have always motived me to keep writing and to keep being here on tumblr. without a doubt, i wouldn't have gotten this far without any of you. So thank you ♡

2023 is coming to an end so this is my annual I love my online friends so fucking much you wouldn't believe me if I told you post.

[bellsliturgy]

begging, pleading for more cyberpunk blogs

[danikamariewrites]

Falling

Cassian x reader

Note: sorry for my absence, I’ve been busy and unmotivated the last weeks. I don’t like to talk about politics but I want you all to know that I’m very unhappy with the election and it’s upset me. I really have nothing else to say because quite frankly im speechless. Know that my blog is a safe space and you can reach out to me any time if you want to vent because I will vent right there with you.

On a slightly better note, this has motivated me to keep being creative. Writing and being in a creative space has truly kept me going over the last few years and I refuse to stop. Mainly because if I stop I think I’ll just give up. And I’m not fucking giving up because this has been the best distraction. Sorry for the long note but I just wanted to get that out there and know you’re not alone in your frustration. ❤️

Warnings: some angst

Cassian was exhausted. He knew he was when he looked into your bright eyes as you excitedly waited for him to pick you up to fly home and couldn’t bring himself to lift you.

His mind wasn’t in the right place to enjoy the closeness of you in his arms. You always deserved him at a hundred percent, especially when your life was in his hands. Not while he was still actively thinking about Devlon getting in his face about their disagreement.

Even now, only minutes away from home, Cassian was still clenching his jaw, ruminating about the words Devlon spat at him.

Cassian was pissed that Devlon ruined his day. He had big plans for you that included a dinner reservation and him finally telling you how he feels about you. Only took him two years to gain the courage to decide he would tell you how in love with you he is. And now he’s too in his head to even fathom saying “I’m in love with you y/n.”

Azriel flying next to him with you in his arms wasn’t helping his mood either. Every time he heard you and Az talk or laugh his jealousy grew. It was his own fault though.

Flying over the Sidra the House of Wind finally comes into view. The monstrous house on the cliff had relief flowing through Cassian. Almost home, Cassian tells himself over and over.

Looking over at you and Azriel he sees a smile bloom on your face as you look down at the glittering water, you point out the fish jumping from the surface, making ripples that you can see from way up in the sky. The sight of your joy eases Cassian’s anger.

A gust of wind hits them hard enough to knock Az and Cass off balance. Without your added weight Cassian has no problem balancing himself out, controlling his wings on instinct.

Your scream has him pivoting against the gust, whipping his head in time to see Az lose balance as you tumble from his arms.

Azriel tries to dive but the wind fights against his wings. Cassian wastes no time to dive for you. Tucking his wings in as tight as he possibly can, he free falls with his hands reaching out for you.

You don’t stop screaming until Cassian grabs on to you, pulling you flush to his chest. You cling to Cassian, wrapping your arms tight around his neck.

“I got you,” he murmurs in your ear. “I got you, baby, it’s okay.”

Without looking back at Azriel he flys hard for the House. Cassian should check on his brother, he feels guilty not doing so. But the love of his life just tumbled from his brother's arms and he couldn’t care less if Az was in the Sidra right now or behind him.

Landing on the balcony closest to the bedrooms Cassian readjusts you in his hold. He can feel you trembling as he rushes to get you in a comfortable place.

Cassian kicks your door hard, rushing over to your bed. Gently placing you down he pulls away to see you staring off, a blank look on your face and teeth digging into your bottom lip.

He backs away to get you a change of clothes until you grip his arms tighter, letting out a small whimper. “Don’t,” you plead. Cassian wraps you in his arms, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

The two of you sit like that for a long, long time. Once your trembling stops you slightly lean away from Cassian, shaking out your arms and rolling your neck.

His heart breaks at the sight of fear still lingering in your eyes. Cassian slowly brings his hands up to gently cup your face, resting his forehead against yours. “You’re ok, you’re safe. That’s all that matters.” You nod, molding yourself into Cassian’s body.

“Thank you for catching me.” You whisper. Cassian squeezes you tighter to his chest. “I’ll always catch you, y/n. Always.” The fierceness in his tone sends a chill down your spine.

You won’t let Cassian leave you, even long after the sun sets. The only time Cass left was to get you dinner and to change into his pajamas. Once you’re asleep Cassian can’t find it in himself to leave you.

Tomorrow, he decided. Cassian will tell you everything tomorrow.

[huellitaa]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨ feeling uncomfy in ur own skin

ok so this is something ive been struggling with for years. like i wake up some days and just feel Eugh way more than id like to. SO i decided i'd make a little guide on this! for me and for you 🩷✨

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 reasons why we could be feeling uncomfortable with ourselves and who we are

♡ having a shitty mental diet and consuming media and things that make you feel bad abt urself

♡ being in an environment where we're constantly being judged or put down, even over the most basic things

♡ hanging around negative people or negative places

♡ not giving urself enough credit for ur own achievements and accomplishments

♡ changing urself constantly for others and not having a clear sense of self to hold on to

♡ not having boundaries on how you and others treat you

♡ staying stagnant in the same place in your life and not changing (🎀🗒️also read: get comfy being uncomfy ♡)

♡ not paying enough attention to yourself and avoiding your genuine thoughts, feelings and emotions

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. be gentle with yourself!

pleasepleaseplease its ok to have bad days its ok to not feel great every day. treat yourself as you would someone you love. if you just aren't feeling good today, then you aren't feeling good! honour that and respect that and deal with that accordingly. even if you are uncomfortable with yourself right now or you don't like yourself right now, please try and treat yourself with care regardless, because no matter what stage you are in in your life right now you are and always will be the most important person in ur life, so TREAT URSELF LIKE IT🫶💖

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. inspiration, not comparison!

i know its often told not to go looking at people who are ahead of you in these times but hear me out. i think looking at and observing people you admire who are further ahead of you is very motivating to build yourself up and *become more like them* in your own way. you look up to them because of ___? what can you do to become your own version of that? thinking like this gets me more inspired to just get out of bed because i want to be more like them.

two words for this one - NO. COMPARISON. gaining inspiration from others to better yourself and comparing yourself to others are two completely different things. 🫶 (shameless self promo, but i have a post on this here! 🩷✨)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. analysis: detective work chapter!

journal and think and think to urself why u might feel like this or what caused this. when did it start? has anything happened lately that may have caused this? how does it feel, in depth? what can you do to combat this? how can you make it through the day & make it so you do even better tomorrow?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. channeling the mindset!

back to my point on our idols, thinking like them & thinking what they'd do in this situation helps me a lot. personally one of my idols is ada lovelace so whenever im really tired and unmotivated or insecure on my abilities or appearance or anything else i think to myself "what would she do?" and 9 times out of 10 im up at my desk in my cutest outfit hard at work. this is def one of my favourite points and something i use on the daily for like literally everything and 100% recommend 🩷✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. what would i do?

similarly, ask urself what the best version of yourself or the version of urself youre working towards would do in this situation. be your own inspiration. be ur own muse. would they stay in bed and rot all day? if the answer is no then ur up. out. immediately. ask urself what they would do. if ur feeling drained, would they take a day off to do some self care and recharge? if ur feeling sad, would they be gentle with themselves and let themselves feel sad for a little while & try to work to the root of the problem?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. understanding yourself!

make a list of the things that make you the happiest and most comfortable & productive and the things that make you the unhappiest and the opposite of those things. i mentioned this in my recharge day post, but figuring out these will help you find out which negative behaviours or habits are lowering ur vibrations and making u feel like this, and help u to engage more in the things that make you happy with yourself and everything around you 💗✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. pay attention!

pay close attention to ur internal landscape and your self talk throughout the day. note down every little thing you notice, even if you think it won't be helpful; for example, do you find yourself indulging in negative talk abt urself, negative talk abt others, constantly being pessimistic and expecting the worst, indulging in judgement and criticism of urself and everyone around you, getting distracted easily, and so on.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. what would i do, part 2

like i mentioned earlier, you should be your own inspiration. you should be your own muse. as much as it's nice to have idols, when ur trying to change something about urself and adjust and improve ur own behaviours, you should be mainly focusing on what you want to achieve by changing said behaviours. do you know who you're working towards being? do you know how you want to feel? do you know what you are changing these things you feel into? think about whether or not the person you are now lines up with the person you want to be in all aspects of ur life. if you feel like you aren't even trying to meet these standards then of course ur gonna feel bad about urself. of course don't be too hard on urself, but keep this in mind. 💓✨

finally, remember that these things are temporary and it wont be like this forever. ur beautiful and perfect no matter what and in these times u gotta show up for yourself even more and never give up! i believe in u 🫶🩷

all my love 💗💬✨🎀

[sugarushwriting]

ot7 vampire — human blood bank (s2)

part three (not proofread)

i will not be writing explicit content/material for ni-ki but there will be mature themes around him. he’s a vampire for sake. 🤍

smut/explicit content will be coming soon regarding other members for you dirty minded whöres 🫶🏽

in case you missed it, i will not be posting any thing until beginning of november. i doubt i will post sooner but just keep an eye out. writing isn’t interfering with my day to day life, im genuinely just unmotivated, lost enthusiasm when it comes to posting.

and to 100% be real i have really bad social comparison/imposter syndrome right now.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

“you’re hiding something from me, sunoo!” you scolded one of the youngest, crossing your arms looking him in the eye.

his cheeks turned red, his voice going up an octave with a crack, “no i am not!”

“you’ve been quieter than usual, and looking at ni-ki with some questionable eyes lately.” you tilted your head.

sunoo sighed. “yes, but i really don’t even know what’s going on.” he whispered, looking around the hall. “i don’t want to say too much just in case one of the olders are meddling. i don’t want ni-ki to get into trouble for something i’m not even sure about.”

“what do you mean?”

sunoo hesitated on how much he should say. “just lately he’s been coming home late—,”

“that’s not weird?”

“—crawling through my window.” sunoo finished. you looked confused and suspicious yourself.

“why would he crawl through your window?” you questioned.

sunoo shrugged. “probably not to make too much noise coming through the front or back door. he knows i keep it open for a fresh breeze.”

“your room is on the second floor? what, does he have flying abilities now?”

sunoo laughed. “oh please, he climbs up the tree near my window.”

“oh, well that would make more sense.” you nodded. you tapped your chin then got the best idea. “we should follow him!”

sunoo shook his head. “that could be worse. we don’t know what he’s getting into. we could get hurt if we aren’t careful.”

“well i could for sure get hurt, but with your sensitivity we for sure can get the vibe of what’s going on around us!”

sunoo shook his head once again with a sigh. “i still don’t think it’s a good idea. at least not right away, not right now.”

you groaned. “thanks for ruining my dreams of becoming a spy for once.” you pouted

sunoo chuckled. “you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“i could say the same for you blondie.”

“what y’all talking about?” ni-ki’s voice startled both you and sunoo.

“oh nothing.” you waved. you were a terrible liar. sunoo’s lip curled up at how terrible you were.

“doesn’t seem like nothing.” ni-ki smirked.

sunoo could feel power and control radiating off of ni-ki. for the past few days it’s like it has gotten stronger from him.

“mhm ni-ki, when was the last time you fed?” sunoo asked randomly.

ni-ki looked at sunoo with a warned expression and smile. “why?”

“it has been a while since you fed from me. like a month? two?” you asked. “i thought newbies had to feed more often?”

“when’s the last time sunoo fed?” he shot back.

both of you were taken aback. “oh, um,” you now looked at sunoo with a wondering expression.

“about the same.” sunoo answered with a defeated sigh.

ni-ki didn’t have to say anything as his face said it all. “not all newbies are the same, i thought jay and sunghoon explained it to you.” ni-ki tapped your nose causing you to scrunch it.

“they did. sometimes i just don’t listen.” you admitted.

“which is very bad on your end, love.” jay added, coming up behind the three of you. jay kissed the back of your head.

you turned around with a smile. “i can’t help that you talk too much sometimes.” you chuckled. “you know my brain can’t focus for too long!”

“are they sucking the intelligence out of you as well?” ni-ki taunted.

“don’t make me slap you.” you threatened, pointing a finger at him.

ni-ki just laughed. “i’ll be going out tonight.”

“again?” jay and sunoo asked at the same time.

“ooo, with eunchae?” you teased.

“no, with some guys i met recently.” ni-ki leaned against the wall behind him.

“wait really?” you asked. “you made friends outside of eunchae?”

ni-ki rolled his eyes, “yes sweetheart.”

“who are they?” jay asked. “do we happen to know them?”

“nope. and they just call themselves the boyz or whatever.”

“names?”

“what are you? my dad?” ni-ki scoffed with an annoyed undertone.

“no, but i vowed to look after you.” jay’s voice deepened, bringing on his authoritative tone. “so i will ask you again. what. are. their. names?”

“sunwoo and eric are the two i’m closest to and gotten to know the most.”

“you should invite them over.”

“of course. let me make sure they can ask their mommies.”

“knock off the attitude.” jay warned.

you and sunoo gasped. it’s been a while since you all noticed this behavior. basically, since the first time he was turned.

sunoo knew the last time he acted this way was when he had human blood. not from you.

it seemed ni-ki noticed sunoo’s change of demeanor. he knew sunoo wasn’t dumb. sunoo however stayed zipped lip when ni-ki gave him a look of warning, something menancing almost.

“be nice! all of you!” you scolded. “i swear sometimes i hate living with a bunch of men!” you huffed and stormed away from the three.

“oh sweetheart, i’m always nice.” ni-ki smiled.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you had fallen asleep in the comfortable beanbag—like—couch in the library, jay and sunghoon had once again prepared for you in the new house.

your safe haven.

laying on your stomach, book open next to you, your eyes tightly shut, with occasional moving from dreaming. mouth slightly opened due to drool and some snores.

your dream suddenly felt dark. like, a dark storm cloud. felt as if someone was standing over you. behind your close eyelids, in your dreams, it felt as if a dark shadow was looming over you.

red eyes, sinister grin, fingers lightly tracing over your back. your body start to shake, convulse almost.

you screamed. you screamed yourself awake, immediately sitting on your knees. your body flushed hot. your skin felt as if it was on fire.

your breath was uneven, you had to calm yourself down by deep breathing. hand on your chest.

“baby!” sunghoon came running into the library where he heard your screams. “are you okay?” he rushed to your side looking for any signs of hurt.

“just—just a bad dream.” you said through panic breaths. your head hung down, as you leaned your forehead against sunghoon’s shoulder as he held you tight. you felt as if your energy was flushed and drained from your body.

“let’s get you to bed.” sunghoon soothed and picked you up, no problem.

from the doorway of the library, ni-ki watched the older take care of you. his face flat of any expression.

“what happened?” jake came running up next to the youngest. “i heard a scream from our girl.”

“she’s fine.” ni-ki answered flatly. “just a bad dream.” he whispered, watching sunghoon carry you out your library.

“is she okay?” jake asked sunghoon, ignoring the youngest.

sunghoon nodded, holding you tightly against him. “just a really bad dream.” sunghoon and jake observed your tear streaked face. “she’ll sleep with me tonight. when jay, heeseung, and sunoo come back from the bank, let them know.” he ordered to the two.

jake nodded, ni-ki blankly staring.

“will do, sunghoon.” jake nodded politely.

sunghoon continued his walk to his room with you in his arms, jungwon coming up the stairs soon after.

“did you have to push me so hard down the stairs?” jungwon asked jake, rubbing the back of his head. “im a vampire, not invincible, dumbass.”

jake chuckled, “sorry, i heard her scream so loudly and fearful, i got scared myself.”

jungwon stretched his limbs. “well, is she okay?”

“she’s fine you two.” ni-ki said shaking his head. “worrying for nothing.”

ni-ki walked off annoyed to his room.

“what’s up his ass?” jungwon asked, jake shrugged.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

jay, heeseung, and sunoo arrived back at the house late, around 11 pm after stopping by the bank.

“we need to talk.”

a voice startled the three men, almost causing them to drop some of the blood supply.

“i wish people would stop startling me today!” sunoo complained.

“aren’t yall vampires? how did you not hear me?”

jay narrowed his eyes to sakura. “what are you doing here?”

sakura looked over their shoulder. “you literally have a human blood bank with fresh blood. why steal from an actual blood bank?”

“we can’t always feed on her. she’ll get too weak with all seven of us.” heeseung explained.

sakura nodded her head in understanding. the blood the boys had wasn’t the best, but it would hold them over when there are days you need a break.

“again, what are you doing here?” jay crossed his arms.

sakura rolled her eyes. “what’s got your panties in a twist?”

sunoo and heeseung failed at holding in their laughter. when jay looked at the two, they quickly straightened up, looking around.

“i’m worried about eunchae. something isn’t right with her lately.”

“and what, since she hangs around ni-ki the most you think he has something to do with it?” jay snapped.

“jeez, would you calm down and stop jumping to conclusions, jay?” sakura now crossed her arms, tired of jays standoffish behavior. “i’m only asking, to see if ni-ki has voiced his concern about her too.”

“no, he hasn’t said anything.” heeseung answered politely, then looked to sunoo. “you’ve been closest to him lately, has he voiced anything to you?”

sunoo shook his head. “no. what’s going on with eunchae?”

sakura sighed, “it’s just, she’s been coming home really late, lately. i’m not mad about that. but in the morning she always has the worst headache like a hangover, and never remembers the night before, other than being with ni-ki.” she explained. sakura hesitated, then added, “i’m worried for our safety. weird things have been happening to the girls and the house lately. just random things missing.”

“are you still drinking that tea of yours?” jay asked.

sakura nodded. “of course.”

“then you all should have nothing to be worried about. that tea literally blocks any coercion from any supernatural entity.”

sakura nodded. “thanks jay.”

“if you need us though, we’re here.” sunoo smiled gently.

“thanks sunoo.” sakura smiled to the boy. “at least one of you all have manners.”

sakura walked off, and the boys carried the bags into the house.

“should we be worried?” sunoo asked.

jay shook his head. “no, we have nothing to be worried about.”

upon entering the house, jungwon immediately came to help put away the bags, and jake explained that you were asleep with sunghoon due to a nightmare.

in the distance, ni-ki had watched the exchange between his own and eunchae’s from the shadows, listening in carefully.

he turned his head to the boy next to him. “what is sunwoo up to?”

eric shrugged. “i usually don’t ask him questions.”

─── ᯓᡣ𐭩 ─── ─── ᯓᡣ𐭩 ─── ─── ᯓᡣ𐭩

note from author

≽^•⩊•^≼

comments, reblogs, and likes welcomed! i love feedback and ideas 🤍

do not repost or translate anywhere else / as your own ©

[lunaroracleofvenus]

Hymm of Healing - Pick A Picture

we will divine about how you can feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. There are four piles below 💚

LEFT TO RIGHT P1 -> P2 P3 -> P4

PILE ONE

First card to jump out was an oracle card of celebration. You are radiant and healing. Already complete and whole, now is the time to be whisked away into fun and pleasure. To dance with the wind, and embrace small and big miracles. To feel energetically lighter and more whole,, to put it simple, have more fun. Indulge in hobbies that bring you pleasure. Go outside, build a routine that you enjoy so much that you get excited about doing it the next day. Sounds mundane, but sometimes the most “unspiritual” thing is what’s needed to move your life and self in the direction you need to go. 

But yeah, engage with your solar plexus, and perhaps engage with your sacral chakra more too, to feel light and complete in all the ways that matter. Engage in the “I AM”. Engage with the fire element archetypically. 

I Am - Baby Tate

Pile TWO

Cinderella

For this pile, I am sensing a deep depression, or tribulation. Your surroundings or your mind seems very unmotivating/heavy/foggy right now. Despite this adversity I am getting a message of perseverance. To continue further, because you are greater than your current obstacles. There might not be an immediate solution to whatever the issue is, but I am being reminded of Cinderella enduring her difficult childhood. Having the mental strength to continue anyway. You are much stronger than you think you are. Suspend the doubt, and negativity, and believe in yourself and your future. Possibly cleanse your upper chakras, so you are able to see your situations or self more clearer. Also, you might be able to download a creative solution, or idea once you have cleansed. The upper chakras I am referring to are the third eye, throat chakra and crown chakra. But yeah, just to wrap up this reading, you are deeply resilient and deserve all the better days that ARE coming. Also, a more emphasis is being given on the throat chakra. Communicating your wants and needs, and saying your precious no’s and yes’s. Just taking more control of life in areas you can and mental resilience  will help you feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. You are not a doormat.

Superwoman - Alicia Keys

Worth Ethic - Toni Jones

Pile THREE

This pile took me slightly longer to pull a card.  You might be feeling like you are constantly searching for something. Or that something might be missing? Though, I think gratitude will enable you to feel energetically lighter, whole and complete. Nothing is missing.  You may be suffering with self doubt. You need to be more present, grounded and “cheer up”. There seems to be so much to be grateful for in your life. The throat chakra seems to be highlighted here. Lots of blue imagery. I think you may need to express yourself more. It might be creatively or personally, but yeah. Self expression, and gratitude will surely lift you energetically and aid you to feel more whole and complete in all the ways you need to right now. The peacock symbolism came up, so you might be experiencing good fortune already or its sure to be coming. Also it seems having more gratitude or kindness to yourself and circumstance might increase your good luck. You might be coming into some extra money as well. Symbolism prevalent: water, lake, peacock, blue, throat chakra, fairy, feathers.

PILE FOUR

To feel energetically lighter and more whole, I think you may need to tap more in your heart chakra and your ability to have faith. Just to have a knowing you are worthy of miracles and good things WILL happen to you. You might have a scarred emotional energy right now, scared of what could happen and the negative possibilities, but im hearing lean into faith. The universe or your guides will take care of you. This shift in mindset will really uplift you energetically! You will be provided with everything you may need. 222. You need to look more into the lucky girl concept or just adopting a mindset of being great, unique and lucky. Because you ARE those things. You might be glowing physically right now. And just a beauty. Just a small mental shift, and your energy will be divine honestly. You are gorgeous and amazing. 

Song: pretty girl era - Lu Kala

Goddess code - lizzy jeff

[genderqueerdykes]

being schizophrenic is exhausting. lately the #1 hallucination i've been dealing with is feeling like bugs are on/under my skin, and the runner up would be seeing bugs that aren't there. it's so tiring. i do hear voices and loud bangs and noises that aren't there, but honestly i can't stand how often i feel like there are bugs on my skin. it's driving me insane and i'm medicated for my psychosis right now. i guess i can go up in my dose but i've been on this medication for years and we have established somewhat of an equilibrium because after a while it makes me gain weight-

my meds provider told me that i will have to deal with a level of psychosis as well as other symptoms like depression for the rest of my life even if i'm medicated and it did make me feel a bit more at ease because i was wondering if i was somehow taking my medications wrong or sleeping wrong or something else but no my brain will just continue to do this. it's been happening for years and certain things ive gotten used to but certain things are just tiring. catatonia is awful. feeling unmotivated is tiring

constant paranoia is more exhausting than just about anything else i deal with. im so paranoid about everyone and everything and i try my best to navigate it accordingly because it's a very overwhelming feeling that's hard to look past most times. sometimes i don't speak out loud in my own home for fear of being recorded. i hate it. often times i'm dead silent all day for fear of what may lie in the walls of my apartment

im rambling a bit here but im just a bit tired of swatting imaginary bugs off my skin for hours and sitting here pretending it doesn't happen. if you can relate to this, you have my deepest sympathies

[marunalu]

Hey guys

I need to make a quick update of my whereabouts and why I havent answered any asks or messages lately. But first, I want to apologiese to everyone who worried about me. It wasnt my intention to make you worry, the last few weeks (months actually) were just quite stressfull for me and Im barely online anymore. I want you to know that you guys dont need to worry and Im really sorry if you did. Life is just quite difficult for me in the moment. I bother with some health issus right now (its NOT life threatening though!) both physical and mental and I have to take a few meds every day. These meds make me very tired and unmotivated to do anything Im not forced to do. I also had a lot of doctor appointments in the last few weeks and need to visit my doctor regulary. Again, its nothing life threatening but it tires me out and I dont feel very well in the moment. Most of the time I just want to be left alone so I can rest. Plus my private life is also quite messy right now and that doesnt help to increase my health. Since my health issues also have mental consequences I decided to stay away from any social media as much as possible, because the internet can be a toxic and stressful enviroment and I have realized that I feel worse if I lure to much on social media sites. I even try to avoid world news because they make me feel depressed. Even writing this short post is difficult for me, because I dont want to think or talk about my problems.

So again, Im very VERY sorry that I worried you guys, but it also warms my heart to see how many of you asked about my whereabouts and if Im okay! Thats so very sweet of you all! ❤️ And just a quick comment about mha. Im not lying to you, but right now Im not really invested in it anymore. The manga turned into a big dissapointment for me and I pretty much lost all my interest in it. I will still check out the last chapter and Im still positive about dfo to be revealed in the last chapter. But I already mentioned in the past that I dont think anymore that dfo will have an satisfying conclusion. It would be hilarious if it turns out the afo clone theory is indeed true though, because I was JOKING when I came up with it! I think its possible that hori will not confirm the theory right out, but just give very strong clues and hints like giving us a glimpse of the holes in hisashis hands. I heard, in a recent interview hori mentioned that he likes to leave things vague so people can come up with their own interpretations and conclusions, which I cant say is a smart move. Still, Im positive about dfo. I will eventually drop a post about the last chapter and talk about dfo if it turns out canon!

You are still welcome to send me asks but it will take me time to answer them. Im also not sure what I will do with this blog when mha is done, since its a mha/dfo centered blog. Eventually I just start a new one at one point.

A lot of hugs to you guys and see ya 🥰

[temeyes]

hi my sweet sweet babes mwah~ JUST dropping in to say that i'll probably refrain from posting art for a few days because i'm so sTRESSSSSSSSSSSED like im not kidding, i can feel my stress levels about to burst through my eyeballs

mostly cuz of personal reasons, i've been physically exhausted the past week and!!! mentally strained from bullshit and i haven't had the chance to fully recuperate cuz things are just piling up one after another (mostly coping by playing stardew valley for hours haha)

as much i really wanna draw rn, im just very unmotivated cuz of everything, i assure you all that i'll be back with my stupidity soon!!

I'LL STILL BE ACTIVE ON SOCMEDS, i'm just not gonna post art LOL SO YOU CAN STILL TALK TO ME IF YOU WANT,,,,

[demigoddessqueens]

Hello! How are you? I was wondering, if your asks are still open that is, if i could have another connorxlatina!reader?Something where reader is feeling very unmotivated to keep working on her writing,she thinks she will never be able to write well or make money out of it,but he helps her? Sorry if this is too much, and i hope you have a nice day/night!

(Ps: i absolutely loved how you wrote the other hc 😍❤)

- the 👩🏻‍🌾 anon

Yes my inbox is open 😁 and Im trying to make it a goal to get requests up and going when I’ve got some time, but there are so many hours in a day 😅😆😭

Masterlist 11

a/n - oh my sweet man who is such a great character!

He had seen you pouring over the rough drafts and illustration concepts for months now. Your work ethic was admirable but Connor felt as if you were stretching yourself too thin.

Albeit a sweet idea, your next book was a love letter to you and him both. A blend of your cultures together with that of a running marigold flower motif. Fans and your editor were anxiously anticipating the release date hence your stress.

From the sun to the moon peeking through your office room, you handled every detail.

The final straw came through one afternoon after your editor had sent it with urgency and countless paragraphs highlighted. You threw down your sketch pen with a grunt of frustration.

“It’s pointless, I can’t! I quit, and this is the last I’ll ever do for them….!”

Hearing your voice cracking and your eyes starting to glisten, Connor ceased watering the plants on your mini balcony garden and rushed over to your side.

“Hey, hey, hey now, it’s ok, these things happen at times.”

You sniffed as your face was buried in his shoulder. A large hand rubbed up and down your shoulder reassuringly with small pats in-between.

“It’s just so much, I want to finish these up, and plus we need the money soon for the home and stuff…”

He kissed the top of your head as you were pulled in tighter before tilted up to face him. Those brown eyes always had a way of calming you down.

“Do t worry about it, my love. Whatever it is they ask of you, or whatever choice you decide, I will always be your support.”

[dozinggen]

Hey Elodie! May I req jing yuan x assistant reader headcanons? Thank you sm ❤️

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ

┊͙✧˖*°࿐ Pairings: Jing yuan x Fem!Assistant!Reader

┊͙ Summary: Jing yuans assistant and girlfriend

┊͙ warnings: OOC (?)

┊͙ A/n: Im back from camp, requests are now open! So for this request I did headcanons about them dating in secret since it wasn’t specified:), Also I’m sorry for being so inactive I was so unmotivated but I’m back :D

—

I feel like only Fu xuan knows about your relationship. And she’d constantly scold jing yuan for staring to long at you.

Adding on to the last one, Yukong would keep asking you why jing yuan was staring at you. And almost every single time, jing yuans hologram would appear from thin air and explain he was just making sure you were doing what he asked.

Also adding on to the first one, the six charioteers would get so suspicious about your relationship but they’d never question it, it’s his life not theirs :)

Lots of kisses in his office when his guards aren’t looking. I mean a lot.

He definitely hates this secret relationship, he wants to show off how beautiful is girlfriend is, what’s wrong with that??

Protective of you. I mean secret or not he just will be. But he’s so much more worried that you’ll get hurt, since the relationship is hush hush. nobody will really keep an eye out on you minus the Six charioteers.

He would beg you to go on walks later in the day around the luofu it doesn’t matter if he’s working or not. You say no but always end up walking around together. He tells you and the native people it’s to discus work—but we all know it’s not.

Very clingy. like VERY. he cant spend his time with you in public, so he’s basically clinging onto you in private.

Then you decided to make the relationship known.

—

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