#im doing my absolute best!
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#definitely not feeling my best lately#the end of the semester is always hard#bc understandably im tired#but have to study more than during the semester for the upcoming finals#but really it's more than that#ive been trying to make peace with who i am academically but it seems impossible#i can't fit in anywhere#not with the ~great~ students bc im not good enough#not with the indifferent students bc i study all the time#and there's this prof who thinks im deliberately downplaying my skills#which is both frustrating and painful bc im literally giving it my best already#im just not that smart!!#you know i was positively excellent back in school#and now im average#not bc im not trying#im doing my absolute best!#what else am i supposed to do?#so now it feels like befriending my lab partner was a mistake#i adore her but she's so brilliant and i feel like im dragging her down with me#it also feels like asking my favorite professor to be my thesis supervisor was a mistake too#bc i adore him as well and he thinks way too highly of me#and i am so going to let him down#oof#txt
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you know those tiktokers and vloggers who go around with mics on the street?
#this is also self projection btw#because my sense of whimsy is hanging on by a fucking thread man#im doing my absolute darndest best like good god#it's nice having a blorbo to self project your stress onto. Spidey is my stress ball#he be going through it just like me#spiderman#marvel#peter parker
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Beautiful trans man for the lads :3
#gave him a halo towards the end cause why not lol#thot about angel wings then realized im not drawin all that#art#digital art#drawing#illustration#artists on tumblr#trans man art#top scar art#the top sacrs are kinda hidden maybe ill draw a piece that features them better#but i made them like stylized lol#artwork#could the body hair be drawn better? shore. couldi have looked at myself as a ref? absolutely. did i? eh sorta kinda#i like glanced at my arms and wa slike yeeah this is probably fine#the thing is some people stylize body hair really nice but idk how to do that lol#anyways need to draw dudes wearing short shorts so i can draw leg hair lolol#and ladies too of course of course#ill try my best i am mostly an artist that draws portraits lol#lgbt#transgender
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veiled zhou zishu
#word of honor#zhang zhehan#zhou zishu#rowan gifs#💜💜💜#userbon#tusermona#baek1nho#tuserashinlae#roserayne#lizlookatthis#seamayweed#tostrangers#i got my hands on 4k woh as u can perhaps see#i am doing my best with it in honor of this Absolute Look.#he and wen kexing are fighting during the conference so what im hearing is i have a chance#with this beautiful man and his divorcee disguise
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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albus "I hope I die first, because I can't live without you" potter
and
scorpius "I hope I die second, so I can save you from that grief" malfoy
#i spent a very long time debating which way around they would be#had me sweating#do you love someone so much you cannot live without them#or love them so much you hope they never have to live without you#personally am the first ✋🏻 my fiance better fucking die after me i cannot be doing that#i know im fucking jinxing it rn#absolutely horrendous we cannot die at exactly the same time im suing#if we do die together in a car crash or smin just know that that is the best case scenario for us lmfao#jilys death is honestly the dream 🤞🏻😍 take us out together or dont take us out at all#i cannot imagine scorbus dying seperately im gonna be honest#imagine one of them at the others grave im going to throw up#absolutely not#headcanon that they die by fucking up a potion or even just dinner and setting their house on fire and dying of smoke inhalation together <#hashtag romance 😍😍😍😍😍😍#scorbus#hpcc#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#harry potter#its 6am i havent gone to sleep yet hope this is coherent 😚😚#harry potter and the cursed child#albus severus potter#scorpius hyperion malfoy
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i do still feel some amount of innate shame when i meet my friends parents because i am very visibly transsexual & it makes me worry they'll think im a bad influence (transing their kid) or that im just lesser in any form by default & i would like to break out of that mindset because i love my friends very much & i feel safe with them & a good parent would be happy that there are people that love & take care of their kid(s)
#this goes for anyone outside my friend circle rlly. friends partners. friends coworkers. i just feel humiliated#there haven't been too many bad instances. a former friends dad in high school treated me with absolute disgust & asked me not to come back#so that rlly influenced how willing i am to meet peoples families/other friends#but im an adult. im making my own choices. i have my own space & i can make unkind people leave#im an adult & i can leave bad situations & return to my safest spots#i just wish it didn't feel like i have to be on my best behavior 200% of the time to compensate for an inseparable part of my life#like oh yeah he's trans but at least he's very polite#why do i have to think that's how people think
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2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Sprint - Oscar Piastri
#not my best ever gifs i dont think BUT IM SOOOOO HAPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!!#OSCAR P1!!!!!! OSCAR WIN!!!!!! OSCAR ROOKIE WIN LETS GOOOOO#i still cant believe it this is absolutely insane#i feel like i find myself saying this every week about oscar but wow#back in bahrain i could never have imagined him winning a race this year!! IN HIS ROOKIE SEASON!!!!#I was shocked when i woke up to see him have gotten pole in the shootout#AND THEN TO WATCH HIM WIN!!!! SOOOOOOO GOOD#Im so proud of him sob sob sob#again: throwbacl to me and dru talking abt the possibility of him podiuming or even winning#and i was like no way i doubt it with this car. nevermind :) ive never been so happy to be incorrect#WHERE IS MARK!??!!?!??!!? WHERE ARE YOU???? YOUR BOY JUST FUCKING WON!!!! WHERE IS THE HUG???? WHERE IS THE CONGRATS???#i swear to god if i check his insta and theres yet another animal vid on his story im going to kill the old man#HE WAS WANDERING AROUND THE GARAGE YESTERDAY FOR QUALI!! WHERE WAS HE TODAY AAAGHHHHHH#oscar piastri#f1#formula 1#formula one#2023 qatar grand prix#2023 qatar gp#we do a little bit of f1
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Wei Wuxian licks his lips and leans forward slightly, walking his fingers across the countertop aimlessly toward Lan Zhan. “You know, Lan Zhan,” he drawls, “A-Yuan says we’re both in the book.”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan responds, tracking the path of his fingers intently, “I am apparently Hanguang-jun, the moral upstanding hero.”
“And I’m the devious Yiling Loazu, who led you astray,” he smirks, peering at Lan Zhan through his lashes.
Lan Zhan meets his stare, head-on, lit from within like molten sunshine. “No,” he corrects, “not astray, Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian tilts his head, waiting for him to continue. His fingers stop their dancing, resting just inches away from Lan Zhan.
Lan Zhan shifts his own hand, bringing them even closer, their fingertips almost brushing.
“The Yiling Loazu did not lead Hanguang-jun astray,” he says, eyes piercing as they flicker between Wei Wuxian’s. “They were partners, and…”
“Ah,” Wei Wuxian breathes, “the decent romance?”
Lan Zhan doesn’t answer, watching him closely. The pupils of his eyes have grown so large there’s only the tiniest ring of gold around the edge. He can see himself reflected in the black. He thinks he likes the version of himself that lives in Lan Zhan’s eyes.
They’re standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for the other to take a step forward, bracing for a fall.
It should be terrifying, this sudden drop into something completely new, something entirely unknown yet so familiar. But Wei Wuxian is filled with conviction that no matter what, Lan Zhan will catch him.
It's as electrifying as it is calming, this certainty that here, with Lan Zhan, he is safe.
Wei Wuxian tilts his head to the side in a way he knows sets the unmarked skin of his neck on display. “I’m sure it was more than just decent, with a handsome hero like Hanguang-jun.”
Lan Zhan quirks an eyebrow, his gaze resting on the curve of Wei Wuxian’s neck, just as he’d hoped. "Handsome?"
“Well,” Wei Wuxian responds, tapping his index finger so it brushes against Lan Zhan’s fingertips. His skin is soft and perfect, just like the rest of him. “He isn’t wrong. You’re very handsome, Lan Zhan.”
“Really, Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan says, voice quiet and deep.
“Yep, definitely worthy of being compared to the beautiful Second Jade of Lan.”
“Is that so?” Lan Zhan shifts closer, the smell of him filling up Wei Wuxian. He smells so familiar, like something he knows intimately. Sandalwood, Wei Wuxian realizes, with sudden clarity.
Lan Zhan continues, “I would love to hear more about your opinion on my beauty and prestige, Wei Ying.”
“You don’t know anything about me, Lan Zhan. Why would you care what I think?”
Lan Zhan tilts his head, only just. “Do I need to? To want to know how your brain works?”
I commissioned this lovely artwork by the wonderful @lotuslate of a scene from my fic, once upon a time, 很久很久以前 where the entire cultivation world is cursed to live in the modern world without their memories and abilities, but of course wangxian find a way to fall in love all over again.
#i've been staring at this art for days they're one of my fave mdzs artist i am not worthy T__T#look at them falling in love before shenanigans try to keep them apart!!#im planning to post chapter 3 next week maybe by the end og the weekend#it's an absolute beast at 15k but it also introduces a bunch of characters im excited for hehe#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#chen qing ling#wangxian#mdzs fanfiction#the untamed fanfic#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan wangji#lan zhan#mxtxnet#mdzs ouat au#bushy writing#okay now that the tags are out of the way prepare for anxiety rant: commissioning art for my fic was one of the best and most anxiety thing#i've ever had to do like it's actually insane#on the one hand i love my fic so much but also i do not feel worthy of such pretty art and talent (except i paid for it and supported an#artist i really admire which makes me dumb brain extra silly) but yeah this enitire week since i first got it i basically had to play#with my anxiety in the worst way and its been awful and i want to share this art cause its so great but also i want to cry cause i feel#unworthy BUT! i am by posting this telling that anxiety to shut up and continue promoting a fic i'm really proud and excited for and#hopefully opening the floodgates so i have the confidence to commission more artwork in the future because seeing the words i write in a pi#is just about one of the most incredible feelings aNYWAYS
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so i got to thinking about the timeline a bit
#dont get me wrong HE DID DO THAT SHIT!!#but like if i personally had to deal with an absolutely unbearable amount of pressure from the us military#while also being intentionally cut off and isolated from my closest friends#and already being a person predisposed to trying to think my way out of everything to the point of doomspiraling into my own brain#while also likely being under an extreme level of surveillance#and my best friend is rapidly dying of a terminal illness#and after JUST GRADUATING COLLEGE#I WOULD ALSO BE DOING SOME CRAZY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!#DO NOT MISTAKE ME. THAT WAS FUCKED. HE DID DO ALL OF THAT SHIT AND IF YOU PRETEND HE DIDN'T I WILL GET MAD#BUT LIKE#JESUS CHRIST!!!#anyway. im a big asukahead. can anyone tell#guilty gear#asuka r kreutz#mouse.txt
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A (slightly angsty) domestic zukka hc I’ve been thinking abt a lot: I think Zuko would have a sort of knee-jerk flinching reaction when anybody touches his scar (with katara he looks like he’s bracing himself and with mai his whole upper body is sort of being held in place by her) (which i definitely think mai did on purpose to make him feel more comfortable but anyways) I think Sokka would after the first time figure out Zuko flinches hard even when he sees it coming and he’s The Plan Guy so I think he would secretly experiment and find out Zuko doesn’t flinch when sokka drags his hand from a different part of him (like his hair) onto his face. So he just starts doing that and it takes Zuko a stupid long amount of time to realize “hey Sokka touches my face a lot and it doesn’t suck. I wonder why🤨” until one day he figures it out like Sokka you sneaky shit you were nice to me and I didn’t notice
Bc the whole “zuko lets Sokka touch his scar bc he trusts him and he’s super normal abt it” is nice but it doesn’t feel realistic? You can trust someone a whole lot and still have instinctive trauma reactions. I think it’s much sweeter if Sokka notices and figures out a way to make it better without being asked.
Oh….. I’m….. this is a nice one 👍🏼
#ARREGEHSJKASJDASHJDKHGSADJHGSJHGSDMGHASDMHGSAGHMDSAHMGDMHGSAMHGDSGHMADGHMDMHGASMHDAGHMSDJHGDSSJGHSEJHDDSEDSE#?????????#hey anon????#you didn’t think u could get away with this right????#like this isn’t absolutely devastating in the best way possible???? RIGHT#??????#I’m ROLLING AROUND CRYINF SCREAMING WAILING THROWING UP BANGING MY FISTS ON THE WALL???#THIS IS ACTUALLY THE MOST TENDER SWEET ANGSTY THING IVE EVER READDDDD HOW COULD#HOW COULD YOU#HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE#ANON IM PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE AND KISSING U ON THE KNUCKLES#DASHIUDUKHSADKUHDAKHSUKHUAD#NEVER RECOVERINF BRB 👍🏼#(thank you for your contribution this is beautiful and I’m going to think about this for the rest of my life)#atla#zukka#zuko x sokka#asks#my asks
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SPOILERS FOR TUA SEASON 4 ❗❗❗
I truly admire the writers' dedication to making up for Luther being the least liked character in the earlier seasons. They rlly said GUYSSS we r soo soo sorry abt the being in love with his sister thing and the imprisoning Viktor thing OKAYY?? Look he's gonna be a himbo now !! He's working as a stripper and dressing as an astronaut OKAY?? He lives in an abandoned house that he decorates with trinkets OKAY?? HE IS LOOKING AT SCONCES IN AN ANTIQUE SHOP GUYSSSS PLEASEEEEE FORGIVEEE USSS !!
#and they r absolutely correct for doing so#he is my fav silly billy guy#everyone is having the worst time ever at all times#meanwhile that man lost his wife and was killed by his dad last season#and hes like well im not having the best time but holy fuck this children's ball pit and two matching sconces sure are helping#he is soo real#im only on ep2 and they better maintain his whimsy throughout this whole season#i dont wanna see any backsliding#luther hargreeves#tua season 4#the umbrella academy season 4#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy spoilers#tua spoilers#oh also can we all agree#that Luther's house is literally just the academy building set slightly changed up#like i immediately went 🤨🤨
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Oop, I realized I never actually posted about this, but!
Anyone remember my separated Donnie au? Code name: Violet skies? Well I'm remaking it! Rewriting it, even !!
Here's Foot Recruit/aka Donnie!
Draxum, quite begrudgingly, ends up raising the four turtles with Splinter: whom saved him when a part of the lab's roof collapsed, while he was holding onto two of the turtles. Splinter brought the both of them to the sewers, and it all happened from there.
The turtles grew up not too different, safe for extra actual training and knowledge of both the hidden city and things mystic; until Leo and Donnie turned 14. Donnie went out one day with Raph, and didn't come back.
Two years after his disappearance, when the series events begin, they find him in the Foot Clan. Now called just Foot Recruit, with no memory of them — and a good 6 years worth of memories of living with the foot clan.
#rottmnt#scrolls art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt art#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt donnie#im not abandoning kraang leo btw#i love that silly little turtle to bits#just wanted to introduce him <3 my boy#foot recruit is an absolute MENACE in the foot clan bte#no more parental / brotherly supervisor means HE CAN DO WHATEVER pretty much#which includes; setting buildings on fire#commiting every type of fraud#threatening manslaughter#stealing vehicle's#vandalism#attempted experimentation on humans and yokai#and a long list of property damage#he's a menace to society.#and also having a rivarly with cassandra. (friendly rivalry mostly. expect Cass doesn't realize their like best friend's yet)#(their basically attached at the hip. they have movie nights which also doubles as girls night where they talk shit and complain)
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THE REVOLUTIONARY ARMY PIECE IS REAL!!!!!!
#i LOVED this chapter but ofc the rev army final 2 pages were my absolute favorites <3#DRAGON IS FINALLY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL? MAYBE???#also look atvhow pretty they all are (ignore dragon)#sabo...... oh jm eating him alive#AHIRU LOOKS SO. SO. AND KOALA#guys im living my best life#IMMMSMDMNDMEMD I LOVE EMEMMMM#revolutionary army#revolutionary koala#revolutionary ahiru#revolutionary jiron#revolutionary ushiano#belo betty#revolutionary sabo#sabo#emporio ivankov#revolutionary karasu#revolutionary lindbergh#revolutionary morley#monkey d. dragon#god they are a LOT#fool screams#one piece 1125#one piece spoilers#op spoilers#edit: i accidentally cut off gambo.. i mean he was already covered by the speech bubbles but still😭😭 IM SORRY KING#cw capslock#one piece manga spoilers
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but i've been anywhere and it's not what i want and i wanna be still with you
in the minvaya sauce tonight!!!!!!!!!
#ffxiv#jupi gpose#minfilia warde#a'vaya fhey#minvaya#bibo grande dropped today and i like. have almost cried looking at vaya with it. my fat butch. she is real.#also hi onei if you see thissss thank you for porting gear already :'))))#im going to try my very best to also port things. i managed to get the shapes right on the chocobo pajama pants#but the weights are TOTALLY fucked. so. will deal with that tomorrow maybe#and grande motivated me to do his body stripes finally ahehahhehehwahhe my kitty he is REAL!!!!#and im trying these scales on minfilia for um. Plot Reasonssss <3 hello 89 triallll <3#i think she looks absolutely gorgeous#also please look at their rings. ok? ok#i have the gpose JUUUUICE i love gposing. ahahaahhaah AAHAHHAHAAHHAHA#i've done shtolace. now minvaya. i SHOULD do damicred to finish the trifecta... but im not totally happy w dami's look in game ahhhh#but :pleading_face: dmcrd image#anyway. the g'poses. the mnvy g'poses#i took these on island sanc... i want to decorate it really good like other people but i DONT KNOW HOW AHHHHH#minfilia and vaya do actually live on the island. its canon. and its like an animal crossing village. theres a few handfuls of other ppl#teehee. fifiyaya
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ABOUT THE WELCOME HOME UPDATE LIVESTREAM!
in a miraculous turn of events, i can in fact stream the update Live, When It Drops, As It Happens! i did not expect this, sorry for the late notice!
i will be hosting it on my shiny new Youtube Account that i made purely for this <3
i'm tentatively assuming that we'll have some warning before the link/update drops, so I plan on starting the stream an hour Beforehand for a bit of a "pre-party"! that way we can say our hellos, let people join, freak out prematurely, and i can lay down some Ground Rules!
i hope to see you there!
#picarto lag is a bit ummm Iffy between my voice & what's happening on stream usually#i've noticed a bit of a discrepancy there and i dont wanna risk it#also i kinda trust youtube to have less Issues with things loading properly#so for this! This Important Event! im using yt to make sure the experience is the best it can be!#i'll continue to do art streams on picarto#this is just a one-off thing <3#it'll be fun :]c we're gonna have a great time :]c#absolutely unprompted#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#i will be Very thorough about the exploration i promise#i will leave no stone unturned... no link unclicked... no info overanalyzed....
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