#i feel like i find myself saying this every week about oscar but wow

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Sprint - Oscar Piastri

[elisysd]

Difficult - Gracie Abrams

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

To name this feeling Would take a hundred thousand years, some kind of grieving But over what I never had, so I've been speaking To my therapist, I call her every weekend

It was raining in Monaco when Lyanna logged on to Zoom with her Macbook and Sophia's face appeared on the screen. Lyanna could see that she was at her office, which was quite rare.

“Hey, gorgeous! So how is Monaco?”

“Gloomy.” Answered Lyanna trying to show her the downpour that was taking place at that moment.

“Nice. It reminds you of London, that way.”

“Believe it or not, but I was kind of used to the sun.”

“Who are you and what did you do to Lyanna Michel? I’ve never thought that I would hear you saying that. You hate when it’s hot outside.”

“Yeah well, people change.”

“Love changed you, in your case. Speaking of, where is lover boy?”

“With his physio. He has to make some physical tests to evaluate his condition and build a plan to get him back in shape for the new season.”

“I’m glad to hear that he is okay. Now maybe, you are going to come back home in London?”

A long silence followed. Lyanna had been thinking for a few weeks. She didn't really miss London, she didn't miss her flat either, she was working very well from Monaco and then she had Charles. When she thought about London and her potential return, a lump formed in her stomach and it made her feel sad.

“About that… I’m thinking of moving out.” She confessed.

“What? Where? Do you mean moving out of the flat or of London?”

“Well both… I haven’t thought this through but… I was thinking of getting something closer to Charles. Like Nice? I have to find a real estate agent. Monaco is way too expensive for me.”

“Or you could just straight up move in with Charles instead of getting something for yourself. You are basically living together, already.”

“It’s different. I’m here because Charles needed someone to help him. It did not feel like moving – moving you see what I mean? I still want my independence and Charles will be away most of the year. I don’t see myself living here on my own. I would feel like an intruder. And moving with someone is a big step. As much as I love Charles, I’m not ready for that. But anyway, what is the oh so secret project you wanted to talk to me about?”

Suddenly, Sophia's face lit up and Lyanna could see the excitement on her face. Lyanna knew that look well; it was the same one she had worn when she had told her that her name was being seriously considered for the Oscar nominations.

“I got a call at the end of last week from Michael Mann’s team. He is working on his next movie and they would really like to have you on board. I did not tell you sooner because I wanted to see by myself what the project would look like and if it’s something that could interest you. But Lyanna, this movie can be the one to give you the Oscar. I’m sure of it. It’s such a big project with an intention to be shown at the Venice’s Mostra. That’s how big it is.”

“Wow.. okay. Michael Mann is a legend. What is the movie about? Do you know if other people have been casted or contacted?”

“Adam Driver and Penelope Cruz have signed up for it from what I’ve been told. They are searching for their last lead actress. Lead actress Lya. Up for consideration for the Oscars. Can you imagine?”

“You still have not told me about the kind of movie.” Pointed out Lyanna.

“It’s a biopic about Enzo Ferrari.”

Across town, in a private gym, Andrea and a Ferrari doctor were putting Charles through a series of tests to see how he was doing. Overall, they were satisfied with the Monegasque, who not only showed good physical health, but also an excellent mental state. He was ready to face the new season and give it his all. It was as if his accident and forced rest had mentally rebooted him. All Charles wanted to do was get back into an F1 car as quickly as possible. In fact, Ferrari was planning to do so, to test him on track and also because it would make good photos to feed the Scuderia's official accounts.

“Yeah, I talked to Silvia about that. The PR team planned a whole program to show people that I’m alive and well.”

“What have they in store for you?” asked Andrea.

“An interview in my flat, in Monaco. They also want to shoot a video like a day in my life like kind of thing. And me at the factory. And I’m going to go the FIA prize giving ceremony. She did not ask me to go, I’m forced. And here I thought that I would have had a few weeks off before Christmas… And you know the best thing? They want to include Lya. They still have not given up on the idea. I mean, I want her by my side at the FIA ceremony that’s for sure. But during the video shoot? Not sure about that.”

“And no stupid Christmas challenge with Carlos?”

“Don’t get me started on that. They want us to have a competition of who is going to make the best gingerbread house.”

“You know how they are.” Tried to resonate Andrea with him.

“I don’t mind doing that. But I don’t want them to use my relationship. Especially when I can feel that it’s purely in a marketing way. I have to talk to Lya about it and see what she wants to do. If she is down for it why not, but I doubt it. But the worst thing is that I know that even if we both say no, they are still going to do it so we might as well try to do what they want and have a little bit of control over it.”

When Charles returned to the flat in the late afternoon, it was almost dark. The living room was dimly lit and he found Lyanna, with a cup of tea in her hands, staring out of the window. Charles wondered what she could see: it was pouring rain and there wasn't much visibility.

“Hey, love. What are you staring out?”

She let out a long sigh and shrugged her shoulders, which worried Charles. She didn't look too good. He knew she'd had a telephone appointment with Sophia earlier in the day and wondered if that was the reason for her distant behaviour. He put his sports bag down in the entrance hall and walked over to her, holding her by the waist. If she usually let herself go naturally against him, this time he felt her stiffen. 

“Everything’s okay?” insisted Charles.

She freed herself from his arms and went into the kitchen to empty her cup and rinse it. Charles had the impression that she was trying to avoid him and he hated that feeling, reminding him of moments in their relationship that he would like to leave in the past.

“Lyanna?” he tried to get her attention as he followed her.

“I’m not in the mood for talking, Charles.” She finally decided to speak to him.

“Did I do something wrong? If it's because I left the toilet seat up again, I'm sorry, I'm trying to be careful.”

“Not everything revolves around you, Charles.” she replied sharply.

“So… I did something wrong.”

“For fuck’s sake, I told you I didn’t want to talk about it, so please drop it!”

Charles felt unsettled, it had been a while since he'd had an argument and he had to admit that he didn't miss it at all. He could see that something was tormenting Lyanna, he wasn't blind. The only logical conclusion he could come to, if it wasn't his fault, was the video call with Sophia.

“Did something happen with your work?”

The fact that Lyanna stopped dead in her tracks as she headed for the bedroom made him realise that he had been right. The young woman turned back and sat down on the sofa, where Charles joined her.

“A biopic about Ferrari is about to be shot and they want me onboard as a lead. It’s a huge project and probably Oscar worthy.” She said bluntly.

“What? Lyanna, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you! If you need help to prepare, I can find archives and…”

“I said no.”

“What do you mean you said no?” asked Charles, confused.

“They don’t want me. They want Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend.” She explained with tears in her eyes.

“Come on Lya, you know it’s not true…”

The young woman stood up abruptly, startling Charles.

“Don’t be stupid Charles! I think it’s pretty convenient to be called for this movie not so long after we made our relationship public!”

“Or they think you are talented and deserve to be part of it, Lya.”

“Do you know how humiliated I felt? Do you have the slightest idea? No of course you don’t. My career is what matters the most to me. I worked my ass off to be where I am today, to feel deserving of it. And it’s still feels like it’s a big dream and that I will wake up at any minute. When I understood why they wanted me, it was like all my work, my blood, sweat and tears, all of that was for nothing. I didn’t feel like Lyanna Michel, the actress. I felt like Lyanna Michel, Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend and actress. And it hurt. So bad. I felt robbed.”

“I’m so sorry, Lya… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have anything to say. It is what it is. But I can’t accept to make a movie like this. I would wake up every day wondering if I stole someone’s place. And I would end up hating you because of that, and that’s the last thing I want.”

“I still think you should take time to think this through, maybe talk with the people involved.”

“There is nothing to talk about. My decision is final and I’m asking you to respect it. I should not even have said something, it was stupid you don’t understand. You can’t understand.”

“I understand! Truly, I do! But it’s something that we could have sorted out together, instead you preferred to do things on your own. I don’t to be an obstacle to your career, Lya. I want to see you succeed.”

“It’s my career Charles. I can do whatever the hell I want! I don’t interfere in yours so please don’t interfere in mine!”

“How do I interfere? Tell me? I don’t because you never talk to me.”

“What is the point? You know who could understand me? Arthur. He knows what it feels like to be associated to you and how painful it can get.”

It was a low blow for Charles.

“Don’t bring Arthur into it, please.” He told her with a serious tone.

“Why shouldn’t I? Have you ever wondered how he could feel? To always be in your shadow, to be compared to you? I never thought that it would be something that I would one day experience but here we are.”

“You are being dramatic. Really. It’s just a movie, Lya? Why are we fighting?”

“It’s deeper than just a movie. It’s about my place in your life. It’s about balance. How would you feel if tomorrow you would get a sponsorship with a brand because you were my boyfriend?”

“I would be proud!”

“Let me doubt that.”

“Listen… I’m tired and I’m stressed out. And obviously we are both stubborn about it and fighting is pointless. I’m going to go to bed.”

Seeing the young woman heading for the guest room rather than their bedroom, Charles questioned her.

“I don’t feel like being near you, right now.”

This hurt Charles; it felt like his heart was being torn in two. He spent an absolutely horrible night, tossing and turning all the time. And when he got up the next morning with the firm intention of having a frank and calm discussion with his girlfriend in order to find a solution, he had the impression that it was no longer his heart that had been torn in two, but his soul. She was gone.

========

author's note: It's always one step forward and three steps back between this two. I'm curious, where do you think Lyanna went? Is he gone for good? Is she just out for a walk? Who knows (me I know) Let me know your thoughts and theories, I can't wait to hear them. As usual, a like, a reblog, a comment help giving visibility to the story and it supports the author! taglist:

@zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals @aundercover @ruleroftheuniverse @fangirlika @writerscurse @elijahmikaelsonbitch @leclerc13 @karmabyfernando @stargaryenx @pitlanebabe @boiohboii @reengard

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[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

More than a memory

Sorry if this is formatted really horriblly I finished this up on mobile I hope you like this there’s about 2 paragraphs I cut of ruby nerding out

Once they got to Vacuo oscar was sorta unofficially a huntsman now laws are a lot looser here so he’s been saving quite a bit of money from going on missions after team rwby and Jaune came back it was weird they were only gone a month but so much had changed the merge was almost finished he could feel it every day he felt less like himself he didn’t even object when Theodore called him oz anymore he and ruby weren’t as close anymore whatever happened wherever they were changed her he got bits and pieces from Jaune and yang but the others kept quiet he knew that he’d be gone soon so he wanted to leave something for her kinda like proof that they ever met in the first place so he was now standing in a vacuan market at 12 am alone with a lot of lien on him this was probably a bad idea but at one point he heard ruby ramble about this gun shop that they were the best at what they do so he called made an appointment it just so happens they prefer to see let’s just say unofficial clients at night he knocked at the door it read “bikal bullets” it opened and an old owl faunas man opens it his large yellow eyes are piercing “hello mister pine headmaster theodore told me to expect you” oscar rubs his hands together “yes mister bikal he said to come late” mr Bikal leads him inside on the walls hang dozens of expensive weapons “so mr pine what are you looking for” oscar took the blue prints out of his bag and set them down on the drawing table “um im looking for something custom built its for a friend” mr bikal takes the blue prints and examines them “these are pretty impressive mr pine did you draft these yourself theses yourself” oscar nods “mostly i had a little help with the math part of it but the mechanical stuff i did myself” mr bikal nods “something like this will cost a good amount even with the discount you get for being school staff” oscar nods “do you have an estimate on the price and how long it'll take to make” mr bikal snaps his teeth “around 12000 lien and 2 weeks” oscar nods he had 140000 saved up but he did want to buy some more things for the others “alright i can uh i can afford that” mr bikal goes over to what looks like a drawing table and pins them up “i will start work immediately mr pine you make your payment on completion if you desire the school has credit with me the price includes 3 magazines and a case so that will also be custom made shall you pick it up or would you prefer its delivered” oscar stands uncomfortably as mr bikal starts measuring out pieces of fine metal “ill pick it up dont worry” mr bikal nods and says “alright mister pine your can go now its not a good look for a young man to be out so late especially so close to the red light district” oscars face gets red “yes of course” oscar leaves and walks back to the academy sneaking back into his dorm room was easy tho nora did pester him about where hed been he had left a note saying when he would be back for the next 2 weeks he kept a poker face nora helped him set up his bank account so the sudden spending of 12000 lien did give her pause so she decided to ask him about it

He was sitting on his bed reading some Treatise about some long-forgotten subject she knocked on the bedpost and he looks up “hey Nora did you need something” she sat at the end of his bed “hey what did you spend 12 thousand lien on” he hides his face “please don’t tell anyone it was on something for ruby” she smiles “ah young love I was worried that you wouldn’t make your move so what kind of thing sets you back 12 thousand it’s something big right” he nods his head “its a gun i-i had it commissioned for and it’s not really cause I’m trying to make a move or anything it’s more like a going away gift” Nora frowns and shakes his leg “where you going taking a vacation or something” he feels tears bite the edge of his eyes “Nora the merge it’s soon I know it won’t be long until I’m gone and I want you all to remember me but her especially I don’t want to be just a memory” he struggles to keep the tears at bay but nora pulls him into a hug tighter but somehow softer than her usual ones “hey you will never ever be just a memory you will always be you and even if your not you'll always be one of us we all love you so much” and then the damn breaks and he sobs into her shoulder “i don't wanna go away nora i want to live i wanna go to school see my aunt again” she rubs his back and says “i know sweetie you'll get to do all that ok i promise” he sniffles “nora i need you to do something for me if i do disappear ok i need you to go back to my aunt and tell her everything ok it can't be oz ok don't tell her how to find him it won't make sense i'll just hurt worse i dont want that for her” she nods “i won't ever have to do that ok but i promise” she holds him until he stops crying and they take a a a nap they always helped him calm down

Finally, after a long 2 weeks, he goes to pick it up when he goes inside Mr. Baikal shows him the box it’s a beautiful dark red mahogany wood he opens the case and looks at the pistol inside its silvered handle and barrel were beautiful he’s almost afraid to touch it the engravings were perfect exactly as he had drawn them if not better the moon and rose he had designed look perfect he takes it gently in his hands he looks down the sights the night sights glow a brilliant carmine red he looks at the magazine even it was of an amazing quality everything down to the smallest detail was exactly as he pictured it he sets it back into the case “thank you, mister, Bikal it's absolutely perfect” Mr. Bikal smiles and nods “I’m glad everything is to your satisfaction Mr pine if you find there is anything wrong with it or you want something changed everything I make comes with a lifetime warranty the paperwork is in the case as well as a certificate stating that I am in fact its builder” they shake hands and oscar takes it home in his bag he excitedly gets back to his dorm he sets it down still in his bag on his bed now all he have to do is give it to her

He sits on it for a few days but finally decides to just give it to her oz has his reservations about this but decided that oscar deserves this to maybe say goodbye in his own way

Ruby was going on walks around shade it’s something he noticed so he waited for her to go on one of those walks it was cool in vacuo at night the air was nice compared to the oppressive heat of the day she was meandering along the walkways he followed behind her a bit the case hung heavy in his bag even tho it wasn’t heavy at all after a while she sits at an old wooden bench overlooking the gardens he approaches and she perks up “oh hey oscar are you going somewhere” she says pointing to his bag he shakes his head “do you mind if I sit” she shakes her head “no go-ahead did you need to talk, something about Theodore?” he sits down on the other side of the bench gently setting his bag between them “no uh no I just uh I wanted to give you something” he opens his bag and takes the case out holding it out to her she takes it “it’s not my birthday is it this looks really nice you didn't have to do this” ruby says smiling “well i've been wanting to do something nice for you” oscar says rubbing the back of his neck she lifts the top and gasp gently lifting it from its case “oscar this is this is amazing” she drops the magazine and pulls the slide back making sure its clear and runs her hand along the engraving her symbol etched into the left side of the grip “oh thanks i uh actually designed it myself oz helped me with the math” she looks at him her eyes wide “oscar it took me 8 attempts to successfully design a functioning crescent rose gun design is really hard how long did you spend on this” oscar blushes “the idea kinda started in atlas i was gonna ask you to help me make one so i wouldn't have to rely on my cane but everything happen and when you were gone i kept messing with the idea and i kept thinking about you so i kinda ended up designing it for you more than me eventually do you like it” ruby scoffs “oscar do i like it i love it its probably the single greatest gift anyones ever given me” he smiles wide “really that makes me really happy I was worried you wouldn’t like it” she sets it back gently into its case “really Oscar it’s amazing you have a knack for design your gonna have to show me the draft notes and everything cause this is this is amazing I can’t wait to shoot it this is wow” she chokes up and he leans down “ruby are you ok” she nods wiping her face of nonexistent tears “no worries this is just really cool and sweet and god your so amazing” he felt his heart flutter and his cheeks heat up “the guy who built it that bikal guy you talked about was just as great as you always said” she puts a hand on his shoulder “are you telling me Hephaestus bikal made this Oscar” she says seriously “uh yeah why is that bad” she kisses his cheek and squeals “oh my god your amazing this is now even better god I could die happy wait his rates are insane how did you afford this” still recoiling from the kiss he bites his lip “uh huntsmen work” she narrows her eyes “how much did this cost Oscar it had to be expensive” he shakes his head “not telling it’s a gift you don’t need to worry about it just enjoy it” she punches his arm “I will but I am going to repay you for this somehow ok” “you already did” he says quietly he says rubbing the back of his neck “ruby I don’t really know how long I have left and I would like to spend at least some of it with you I understand if you don’t I know it might make it harder when I’m gone bu-whoa” he’s pulled into a hug she pulls his head into her shoulder and holds him tight “I wanna spend more time with you too but you will always be Oscar ok oz is oz you are you” he sighs and smiles “see what I mean by paying me back”

[scullydubois]

Only the Light Ch. 4

Description: Missy and Scully’s girls night gets interrupted by an uninvited guest.

Read on Ao3 here. Tagging @today-in-fic​.

A long--and fun!--part. Hope you enjoy!

-------------

The elevator doors part, releasing Scully into the tranquility of her hallway. She steps out, glad to be away from the bustling FBI building and the noisy street and the elevator so squeaky that she’s pretty sure she’ll find herself trapped in it one of these days. That’s a problem for another time. For now, all Scully wants is to take off her shoes, pantyhose, and bra. The simple pleasures.

She sticks her key in the doorknob and turns. The deadbolt clicks. She’s locked it. She sighs. Missy left the door unlocked again. She twists the key the other way and it opens. She enters and drops the key, her purse, and her badge on the side table.

“It’s me!” Her voice echoes through the place.

“I’m in here,” Missy responds from the kitchen.

Scully enters the kitchen. Her sister’s still in the hostess uniform for the restaurant job she just got. She flips mindlessly through an issue of Better Homes and Garden.

“You left the door unlocked again.”

Missy flips a page of the magazine so hard she almost tears it. “Oops.” 

Scully sighs and sits down at the table. Her sister has always been the dramatic type.

“How was training?” she offers.

Missy sets down the magazine as if she’s thankful to have an out.

“Pretty standard for an upscale eatery that calls itself casual but charges twenty dollars for a bowl of soup. Turns out, the East Coast isn’t actually that different from the West Coast.”

“Wow. Who’ve thought?”

Missy chuckles. “I know, right?”

“Speaking of the West Coast…”

Melissa groans. Her sister’s been trying to get information about her whereabouts ever since she moved in. She’s under the impression that everyone’s life is as interesting as working for the FBI, and while Melissa tries to make hers so, there’s just not much to report. Except for the one thing she’s specifically avoiding. She will tell Dana at some point, she has to, but for now she doesn’t want to add to the cacophony of things her sister has to worry about. Besides, it’s not anything bad. If anything, Melissa is looking forward to telling her. It’s their mother she’s worried about.

“I told you, it’s nothing juicy. I was out there doing odd jobs. Waitressing, mostly. There was a stint as a gas station attendant.”

Scully laughs. “A gas station attendant?”

“In Oregon you’re not allowed to pump your own gas.”

Scully raises her eyebrows. “Seems like it wouldn’t be a very safe job for a young woman late at night.”

Missy shrugs, then, with the dedication of an Oscar-winning actress, says, “It was a male dominated profession, but I made do.”

Scully smiles. She knows the feeling. She steps out of her heels and carries them into her bedroom. She shimmies off her pantyhose, then sits on the edge of the bed and presses her thumbs deep into the arches of her feet. Heaven. After a moment of bliss, she takes a pair of pink fuzzy socks from her drawer and slips them on.

She returns to the kitchen--“Have you had dinner?” 

“Just a bowl of salad,” Missy replies. 

“Am I to assume by your pitiful tone that you’re up for something else?”

“If you order something and tell me I can have it, who am I to say no?”

Scully chuckles. “How courteous.”  She pulls out a drawer full of take-out menus in various conditions. Some of them Scully has had since her Academy days. 

“The ones on the top are Mexican, the middle is Chinese and Japanese, after that is Italian, and the bottom ones are Indian.” 

Few things that Dana has said have surprised Melissa as little as this organizational structure. What she doesn’t expect is the sheer volume of her sister’s collection. Her eyes widen as she approaches the drawer. There’s literally hundreds of menus stacked in there. 

“Um, may I ask for the chef’s recommendations?”

Scully pulls a couple menus out like it’s nothing.

“Well, if you’re in the mood for curry, this one is great,” she slides a colorful menu toward Missy. “But this is the best Chinese takeout in the city.” She sets down a menu with the Chinese symbols for good fortune on it (yes, Missy knows some Chinese). Missy figures they could both use some good fortune, so she picks up that one.

“Do they have hot & sour soup?”

“I’m sure. I always have the fried rice and orange chicken.”

“Oh, that sounds good too. Can we do a bowl of hot & sour soup and two portions of rice with orange chicken?”

Scully picks up the phone. “Of course.” She dials the number from the menu. As it’s ringing, Missy whispers, “And fortune cookies?”

“They always give you some. They’re not very goo-” The restaurant picks up. A fast-talking voice buzzes in Scully’s ear. 

Melissa laughs at this slip. As her sister’s about to recite the order, she adds, “I don’t care, I just want to read them.”

Scully tells the woman the order, confirms that it’ll come with fortune cookies, and gives them her address and unit number. She thanks the woman, hangs up the phone.

“It’ll be 25 minutes,” she tells Missy.

“Perfect.” Scully can tell from the sound of her voice that she’s up to no good. 

“Perfect for whatever villainous plot you’re about to drag me into, you mean?”

“Perfect for us to get ready for the girl’s night we’re about to have,” she replies matter-of-factly. 

Scully opens her mouth to protest, but Missy beats her to it. “I know, I know. It’s Thursday, you have work tomorrow, you’re tired...but it doesn’t have to be anything grand. Just a little self-care and relaxation, okay?”

Scully frowns in her funny, ‘I’m not actually upset, I just can’t think of a good comeback’ way. 

“And besides,” Missy continues, “you don’t wanna be a party pooper, do you?”

Scully frowns for real this time. This unearths some childhood insecurities she had forgotten she had. It conjures up the image of teenaged Missy with a pack of cigarettes--their mother’s--begging her to sneak out the window and smoke them together, that it would be fun. How she said no until she couldn’t bear her sister’s juvenile belittling anymore. It figures that she has to be guilted into having fun. She bets that her parents would never have imagined that their little girl smoked a cigarette younger than their free-spirited daughter ever did.

“Come onnnnn,” Missy drawls. “We can get in our pajamas and slippers, and I have some avocado face masks we can do. Plus, I brought my box set of Golden Girls.”

Scully can’t help but smile at that. On nights before big exams in medical school, she would put Blanche, Dorothy, Sophia, and Rose on in the background to keep her company as she studied. She called it her golden good luck charm because she passed every test she did this with. 

“Fine.”

Fine. The Dana stamp of approval! Missy leaps into action. “Go get dressed, and I’ll grab the face masks.”

Scully does as she’s told (per usual). She chooses her silkiest pajama set because this feels like an occasion to go all out. A few minutes later, she’s sitting on the couch letting Missy spread the avocado paste across her face. 

“Is this just mashed up avocado?” she asks. “Could we eat this?”

“I think there’s honey in it too.” Missy scraps a dot off where it spilled over to Scully’s headband and licks it. “Not bad...Are you that hungry?”

Scully chuckles. “No, I was just wondering.”

“Well, if it does to your insides what it does to your face, then watch out.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass on that,” Scully remarks.

“Good choice.” Missy finishes Scully’s face and turns so that Scully can do hers. Scully dips a finger into the green paste. It’s cold and sticky, not exactly a desirable combination.

“Do you do this a lot?” she asks Missy.

“Usually once a week, if I think of it.”

Scully wouldn’t have the time to think of it, let alone do it. “That’s nice,” she says wistfully, realizing there’s not much farther she can take the subject.

“I brew some tea, light some incense, and boom. My own personal nirvana.”

“Mmm.” Scully’s feeling increasingly isolated by this conversation. Missy reads her mind in the typical way.

“You don’t take much time for yourself.” It’s a statement, not a question.

 “I just don’t have much time in general,” Scully replies on the defensive.

“And you certainly don’t allot what you do have to yourself.”

Scully lifts her finger off Missy’s face, dips it back into the paste. “I take care of myself,” she says.

“But you don’t spoil yourself.”

“Who am I to be spoiled?” And there is the fundamental ideological difference between Missy and her sister. Missy, who wants life to be overflowing with joy, bereft of nothing. Dana, who believes that nothingness gives her strength, and strength gives her character.

The delivery man's knock on the door eclipses any response Melissa was planning to make. Probably for the best. This is the rift the sisters cannot manage to pave over.

Missy grabs the food and pays the man. She knows her sister would be embarrassed to be seen with the mask on, and she’ll do anything to make Dana’s life that much easier. 

They dig in, eating straight from the cartons. Missy insists on using chopsticks, which works great for the chicken but not so hot on the rice. She doesn’t bother trying them with the soup. Scully doesn’t have the patience for any of it, so she sticks to the plastic fork that came with it all.

Between bites of chicken, Scully reaches for a fortune cookie. Missy swipes it out of her hand, sending it catapulting toward the floor. 

“What was that for?” Scully exclaims.

“Haven’t you ever heard that it’s bad luck to read your fortune before you finish the meal?”

“No?”

“Well, that explains a lot then.”

Scully smirks, sets the cookie back on the table with the others. “I think you just wanted that one.”

Missy feigns innocence, then shrugs. “I have a good feeling about it.”

-----------

A few minutes later, the girls have settled on the couch, empty cartons of take-out strewn on the table in front of them. The four fortune cookies they received are all wrapped up. They’re too full to bother with them just yet. They chirp bits of commentary about the Golden Girls episode they’re watching back and forth between each other.

“I see some Blanche in you,” Scully comments, “but mostly I think you’re Rose.”

“She’s my favorite, so I will gladly accept that,” Missy replies.

The episode’s laugh track nearly conceals a slight rap on the door. 

Scully looks toward the door. “Did you hear something?” 

Missy clicks the volume down on the remote. “Maybe. I’ll check.”

She heads for the door,  peeks through the peephole, then unfastens the chain and lets the door swing on its hinges.

“It’s Mulder!” she exclaims after Mulder has already stepped through the doorway.

It is, in fact, Mulder. Still in his work clothes and holding a manila folder. His eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh. Melissa.”

She smiles slyly. Evidently, he did not expect her nor her face mask.

“Hello, Fox.”

Scully pulls her feet up onto the couch and crosses her arms protectively over her chest, hoping that somehow, maybe, he won’t notice her here in her own apartment. Her first thought is that she’s not wearing a bra. She realizes that this is an unproductive thought to have because it’s not like she’s naked or anything, she’s wearing a pajama top, and he’s seen her in a pajama top before. Hell, he saw her in her underwear on their first case! Not to mention that he’d seen her on her deathbed, and is there anything more naked than that? Still, she hadn’t expected him, and she feels caught off-guard by his sudden appearance. 

For what it’s worth, Mulder is caught off guard by her too. She looks...soft. Relaxed. He very rarely gets to see her in casual circumstances. Even in the assortment of motel rooms he’d sat with her in, she was always keyed up, her mind trying to piece together the puzzle of whatever case they were on. This was new territory. 

“Hi, Scully,” he croaks. 

“Hello,” she replies sheepishly. 

Mulder can’t take his eyes off her. He’s endeared by the green face mask and all of its components. The headband pulling tendrils of her hair tenderly away from her face, the stray locks that have slipped out and stuck to the paste, the extra youthful look it gives her...he never realized how much he missed out on. How much she keeps from him. Suddenly, he’s certain: the woman sitting on the couch isn't Scully. It’s Dana, and there's nothing he wants more than to get to know her better. 

Remembering what he’s there for, he holds the folder out to her. 

“Uh, I just came to give you these toxicology results. I thought you might want to review them before tomorrow.”

She takes the folder while keeping one arm stationed in front of her chest.

“Thank you. I will.”

She plops the folder with the mess on the coffee table and returns both arms to her chest.

Feeling like the intruder that--in Scully’s mind--he is, Mulder glances at the TV.

“Golden Girls. That’s serious business, I’ll get out of your hair.”

Melissa mutes the TV. “Actually, we were just discussing what Golden Girl we think we are. We agreed that I’m Rose, but we’re still trying to figure out Dana.”

This is a challenge Mulder is more than happy to accept. 

“Dana…” He looks at her with a lop-sided smile, letting the word roll off his tongue in a teasing way.

Scully blushes. Oh how she wishes her body would not so easily give her away. Figuring there’s nothing to lose, she takes this opportunity to catalogue the colors in his eyes. She has an ongoing debate with herself about what color they actually are. She’s seen green, brown, and blue with such certainty that she’s pretty sure he has the ability to change them like a mood ring. She’s not sure she would want to know what each color means. 

She decides that they’re looking quite green tonight (is that good?) and breaks eye contact with him out of necessity. Call it self-preservation.

This silent exchange pleases Melissa, maybe even more than it does Mulder. She loves being right as much as her sister does. 

“I was thinking she’s a Dorothy,” Melissa pipes up. “What do you think, Fox?”

He flinches. Melissa scoffs. “Sorry--Mulder. What is it with FBI agents and insisting on being called their last name? That’s got to be some sort of psychological phenomenon.” Then, because she can’t resist--“You should open a x-file on that.”

Scully chuckles. Mulder just purses his lips.

“Ha ha. Very funny.”

“I know,” Melissa claps back in jest. “That’s why I said it.”

Scully looks toward the window. She could have sworn she saw a flash of lightning outside, but no thunder follows it. When she looks back, Mulder’s eyes are trained on her once again. Yep, still green. He pushes some of the cartons aside and perches on the table in front of her and Missy. If Scully put her legs down, their knees would touch. 

“Dorothy is the obvious choice,” he says. “But that’s too easy. Scully’s not easy.”

Scully flicks her gaze toward Missy, who bites her lip to keep the sarcastic comment in her mind from slipping out. 

“So what is she then?” Melissa challenges.

Scully’s eyes meet Mulder’s. She’s not sure what he’ll say, and she’s not too worried about it. What matters is that she’s looking at him, he’s looking at her, and her skin feels like it’s been warmed by the sun. This is not a normal reaction to another human being looking at you, she knows. She made a pact with herself early on not to think too hard about it. It’s moments like this that make her question the point of that.

She feels sated...she so rarely feels that way. Realizing that there is nothing worth keeping from him, not right now, Scully lowers her hands into her lap.

Feeling like he’s done something right, Mulder smiles. He answers Missy’s question without taking his eyes off his partner. Scully’s burning up.

“Well, she’s smart but not pretentious, curious but not unconventional, reliable but not naive, honest but not a curmudgeon, and diligent but not intense...so I don’t know.”

He looks to Melissa. 

“Are any of the Golden Girls as interesting as that?”

Scully’s breath catches. This is quite possibly the most romantic moment of her whole life...What does that say about her? She lowers her feet so that her silk pajama bottoms nuzzle his coarse slacks. Call it a gesture of goodwill. Meanwhile, Mulder wonders if Scully notices that their kneecaps are touching.

Missy smiles. She’s engineered a moment, and what a wonderful one. 

“I suppose not,” she replies lightly. “Dana’s one of a kind.”

“That’s for sure.” Mulder clasps Scully’s hand, and for a second, she thinks he’s going to kiss it. His fingers slip away and grab a fortune cookie off the table instead.

He rips the plastic off it, then snaps it in half. He sets a half in Scully’s open palm as if on instinct. She didn’t even realize she had turned her hand up. Her fingers close over the cookie. She couldn’t possibly eat it now that he’d touched it. Or was that all the more reason to eat it?

Mulder pulls the paper from his half, pops the cookie in his mouth, and crunches as he reads the fortune. “Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned...huh.” He crumbles up the plastic and sticks it in his pocket. “Never seen that one before.”

“Me neither,” Scully remarks dreamily. Melissa looks on, feeling like she’s watching a movie play out in front of her.

Mulder rubs his hands against his pant legs to extend the moment, then stands up, bumping Scully as he does.

“Sorry,” he says, resting a hand on her shoulder. She shakes her head to indicate it’s nothing. “You’re fine.”

As she looks up at him, Mulder finds himself struck with the desire to swim in those blue eyes of hers. He knows that his feeling for Scully--whatever it is--is different from the girls on his magazines and tapes. His thoughts about Scully are somehow both innocent and ridiculously gratifying. His thoughts about the other girls are neither.

“Well, I’ll get going,” he says, stepping around Scully and Melissa’s feet. He turns back to meet Scully’s glance one last time--

“See you tomorrow morning.” He winks.

Scully is so charmed by this all she can muster up is, “Uh-huh.”

Missy bursts into laughter as soon as Mulder closes the door. Scully lets her. She looks down at her palm and realizes that she has put so much pressure on the fortune cookie that it crumbled. She won’t read into this either.

[4homiesfilm]

5 Things - Devin 

April 9, 2021

And so it begins…

Well, I’m missing you all a ton right now, wishing I wasn’t back in shitty, smelly, stinky New York but still on the lake, ripping an apple bong, and trying to shimmy. Anyway, here are 5 things inspiring me right now, that I want to share, and hopefully some of my excitement and inspiration will rub off onto you...

1. “Films aren’t just for telling stories — they should create an impact that encourages other people to make work.” -Mati Diop. 

This wasn’t intentional, but in many ways this may just be the perfect quote to kick off this little weekly experiment of ours. This is what I want to do in general, with each film I make, but it’s especially relevant to the film we started making on this trip. Like I said the night we delved into the dark depths of how hard life has been the past year or more: we can help each other, and we can do so by inspiring one another. Mati is the perfect symbol of this for several reasons. When I first saw Atlantics, a little over a year ago, it made me think of Alisa and her style, particularly her Cuba doc. Both those films moved and inspired me in strangely similar ways, and so I had to tell her to watch it. I think it’s safe to say that Mati’s film also inspired Alisa, and then she urged all of us to watch it last weekend, and the excitement was then spread through all of us. This is so cool to me, and gives me so much creative energy. I could say so much about the film itself, and all the different aspects that moved me and blew me away, but just this rippling impact that it had on all of us makes me so happy. However, one of my favorite aspects is the music, so I will add this quote from Mati as well (which is from the same article, linked just below the quote): 

“Fatima is by far one the best musicians and artists of my generation and embodies the music of my time. I chose her because I wanted the music of the film to bewitch the audience like a djinn [genie] would, she also has an understanding of the complex geopolitical landscape of the film. My [way of telling stories] is fed by a lot of different references — European Gothic and the romantic movement, as well as my African and Muslim heritage — so I think the film is really a strange aesthetic combination. Fatima and I have a very similar hybrid culture.”

The full interview: https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/mati-diop-interview

2. Lee Chang-dong (aka... Director Dong) 

Wow, he has been such a profound source of inspiration for me these past few weeks. Each film of his we watched - and for Thomas and I it was three, yes three damn films! That’s like half his filmography! - had something different and new that blew me away, whether it was particular moments or something larger, something deeper pulsating underneath the surface. This interview he did after Burning’s release is fantastic, and these are the quotes that particularly stuck out to me: 

“To me it seems that films these days are becoming more and more simple, and the audience seems to desire simpler stories. Of course, films sort of shape the desires and the demands the audience makes, so I kind of wanted to go against this trend and see if a film can sort of throw endless questions at the audience. Endless questions about a larger mysterious world. This film is the result of that experiment.”

“[Hae-mi is] also the only character in the film who persistently pursues the meaning of life. The moment she disappears, I wanted the audience to sort of feel her absence and ask themselves what she represents and has been searching for — her presence in this film is very important, even when she's not there. The dancing in this scene really signifies her entire presence in the film.

When she's dancing the Great Hunger dance, searching for the meaning of life and really seeking true freedom, you see her doing that dance surrounded by both the lies and natural beauty that we live in. The scene being set during sunset, you see light and darkness co-existing, and you see the moon in the sky and you also see the grass swaying in the wind, you see the livestock, the farm and, of course, the Korean national flag, which symbolizes politics. You see all these elements that represent aspects of our lives — even the Miles Davis tune. I thought that through this scene I could portray and combine all of these elements together in the most cinematic way possible, so that the audience can really feel the potential of cinema as a medium and the unique aesthetics of cinema. So from the beginning to the end of the scene, I didn't want it to feel like it was directed or staged; I wanted it to feel as if we were able to capture this slice of life very coincidentally, and to capture Hae-mi's pursuit of freedom.

...The moment I thought of this image was when I first knew I could make this story into a film.”

Full interview: www.hollywoodreporter.com/amp/news/oscars-interview-lee-chang-dong-burning-1167869

3. Tsai Ming-liang. It makes me so excited that What Time Is It There? connected with Thomas the way it did, because this guy is one of my absolute favorite filmmakers. Watching that film was so inspiring and such a great way to end the trip, because it made me so hopeful about the future, and all its possibilities. In so many ways, Tsai makes the films I want to make. You all have to watch Rebels of the Neon God and Vive L’amour. Here is a quote by Tsai which is so similar to how I think about the films I make:

“When I was younger, I wanted to be a painter and I have always enjoyed looking at paintings. Viewing a film is admittedly a different experience from viewing a painting, but in my films I am continually trying to develop an experience for my audience similar to that of viewing a painting. I am more like a painter who is using the language of filmmaking than a storyteller who is using the medium of film.”

And here is Tsai talking about his star and muse Lee Kang-sheng, his star and muse who has been in every one of his films, which I also find so fascinating and, again, inspiring: 

“It’s not about a face being pretty; it is about how you frame it. The reason that I always cast Lee is his face. His face inspires me to look at film in a different way. Thinking about it, over my twenty-year career in feature films, it was never about the story, it was about filming Lee. 

[His face] evoked a particular sensation that touched me deeply, while the professional actors that I auditioned did not touch me as much. Ordinary faces, and ordinary people, tend to leave a stronger impression on me. When I chose Lee to be my actor, there was a lot of criticism. People complained that he did not have the face of a star. He wasn’t big or muscular. Yet, what deeply touched me was precisely this sense of ordinary-ness in his appearance. He was natural. Lee’s appearance in my films actually changed the whole path of my development as a filmmaker away from standard, industrial-style films and in another direction. 

As we have continued to collaborate, Lee has aged and his body has changed a lot. Usually in the film industry, when an actor ages and changes, the director will get a different actor to perform. Rather than choose that path, I chose to accept these changes and to allow the audience to watch as someone gets old and sometimes gets sick. I am using the changes in the body of Lee to have a conversation with the world. He will always be my actor. Using Lee throughout my career has been a kind of constraint because I could easily have used other professional or “star” actors. Placing this constraint upon myself was an active choice: a choice that was not driven by market forces but by what I wanted to achieve in my films.”

Here’s the full article: 

https://www.cineaste.com/fall2019/painterly-poetics-tsai-ming-liang-and-lee-kang-sheng

4. Our film, which I’ll be posting many stills from in the coming days/weeks, but for now, here are these three. 

It felt so good to be working on something new with all of you, and just be in that process, and see what comes out of it. I think we got some really exciting stuff, which I have to now go through and explore, but just the act of filming it and working together put me on such a high. Particularly that first night, when we got the blue shots of the lake (the boat going by, the green light of the other dock turning off) and then filming Thomas eat the enchilada...I get a specific creative rush when filming something that feels so exciting and new, and it’s a rare feeling, and I felt it then, and in other fleeting moments while filming for those days and nights. This is just the beginning...

5. Planning our next trip. Whether it be a road trip or just another week or so at the lake, I just want to be together again.

[coredrill]

alright here are my rwby8 thoughts now that i’ve had a few days to sit on ‘em!! spoilers for the entire volume under the cut

so if anyone happens to open this and is like “wow this is more words than i’ve seen you use ever” lol yup! it’s probably the most words i’ve written since high school lmao. feel free to read through if ya really want but this is mostly just my own way of organizing my thoughts for this kind of stuff rather than making a million different posts on random parts of it. this way if i want to look back in the future and say “haha wow can’t believe i thought THAT” it’s all in one easy location! i don’t expect anyone else to be reading all this shite lol

thoughts on the volume as a whole:

honestly i loved it!! there’s very little that i would’ve changed and most of that is nit-picking stuff. i’m very impressed that this volume was made in quarantine lmao. the animation in and of itself was STUNNING (shout out to the finale’s water animation...the aura break particle effects...the cinnamon topography of the amity scenes...all of the facial & body expressions...the whale disintegrating...)

i’d honestly say that it’s probably my second favorite volume?? volume 4 is still my beloved but v8 was so good. i’ll probably need to watch it through a few more times but god. i LOVED IT.

honorable mention cause idk where else to put it: some of the scores were breathtaking!!! i tend not to notice background music on my first watch unless it really sticks out to me and there were quite a few scenes where that happened in a good way this volume. the ones where cinder breaks into the atlas control room and the one at the end when atlas is flooding are probably my favs!!! also there was this one part where it was just screeching over ironwood and it worked really really well.

okay so now for individual characters. let’s start with ruby:

i would like to fund her therapy

very surprised that she didn’t “break” this volume! i was sort of expecting it to happen--between ironwood, the amity plan only kind of working, the hound, the virus, and the fact that she was separated from her usual support system (qrow, yang, and jaune), i was definitely expecting her to. i’m glad she didn’t though cause it’s gonna be so much harder when she actually does (probably when she finds out that cinder has the relics and penny’s dead...)

massive shout out to lindsay jones for managing to make squeaky-voiced ruby still sound like ruby even while going through a whole host of emotions we’ve never seen ruby go through before!

god. that scene where crescent rose fell into the drink and ruby scrambled after it. my heart dropped lmao.

also. this is likely because i’ve got an engineering degree (which came with a free stick up my butt when it comes to technology in media) but the line where they say “mass no longer matters” wrt her semblance??? WHAT??? bro splitting mass up into smaller chunks doesn’t change the actual mass of the material itself what is going on here 😭😭😭 (this isn’t a real criticism of any kind i just yelled WHAT after they said that line lmao)

weiss:

i have one single weiss criticism and its that, in the scene where she’s leaving whitley to go fight the hound, she says “we still need to work on your attitude” and for whatever reason, the voice track doesn’t sound like it was quite mixed right? like it sounds like she’s just standing there rolling her eyes but my girl is BOOKING it out of the room lmao

other than that: weiss you are PERFECT. she really spent this entire volume saving and taking care of the people she loves!!! and i loved every second of it!!!

i would’ve liked to see more of her and klein/whitley/willow. i think there’s a lot of great stuff in that dynamic (not me crying when klein showed up at the manor...) and especially between weiss and her mother. i hope we get one big schneeuinon in vacuo once they + winter are all in the same location (but that’s gonna be a while i think lmao)

it’s been said a million times before but weiss?? shaking and crying but using gambol shroud anyway?? even though she thinks her teammates are all dead?? giving ruby the staff and pushing her out of the line of fire and pulling blake back to safety??? fighting cinder, a fucking wholeass maiden, with no aura because she needs to protect penny?? only unable to get up and keep fighting after she watches gambol shroud (the last physical piece she has of her teammates) go over the edge??? bro. BRO. i’m legit tearing up just TYPING THAT. god she’s gonna find her team at that island resort and never let them go. gonna be like v4 jaune all over again huh??

blake/yang:

not as much here since they didn’t get a whole lot of focus this volume, but i enjoyed all their scenes! yang just fuckin going at salem was 1000/10.

i will say...i think blake’s gonna kiss yang when they meet up in tropical paradise. and good for her!! (especially if this volume’s been planned since the beginning, it makes sense that this would be the writers’ idea for where they wanted their first kiss to be)

jaune:

going from ren saying “he has no fear. he believes that we can do this” about jaune to, five chapters later, forcing jaune to deliver a killing blow to penny was just CRUEL

the fucking dissonance of jaune haha!-awkward-renora-moment-exit vomit-boy-through-the-portals hit-in-the-head-with-a-rock arc being the one that penny asks..............bro. don’t hmu.

it’s going to be such a long time until we see him smile again.

also. the moment when crocea mors snaps in half...again, my stomach dropped.

but it’s okay! he’ll be fine without a weapon! he’s the ~strategist~! *breaks the fuck down*

it hurts so much too to think about, like oscar mentioned.....even if/when he does reunite with ren and nora, he’s not gonna be the same person he was when they last saw him. he’s not gonna be their goofy, wholesome, soft, snarky, healer team leader anymore. he just got his shit sorted out, he just stopped being actively suicidal, and tbh i think this might affect him worse than what happened with pyrrha. especially since they were compounding in his brain--what he did gave penny more of a choice than pyrrha ever got, but GEEZ.

pain. just. pain.

nora:

NORA MY BELOVED

okay. OKAY. so like she was passed out for half the volume but what we did get of her was fucking amazing

nora’s mom i am going to find you and have some words. i’ve mentioned this before but this woman has the same energy as the mom from grave of the fireflies who was like “i know we’re actively being bombed right now but i’m going to abandon my children and get myself to safety.” SQUARE UP BITCH. i hope we never see nora’s mom in the show because i will become filled with rage

but nora herself??? flawless. perfection.

i really did love her journey this volume. realizing that she wants to become her own person apart from ren, and then telling him that when he says that he loves her?? nora sweetie that was heartbreaking but i am SO SO PROUD OF YOU.

nora putting herself first for once and being told that people love her WE FREAKING LOVE TO SEE IT

except NOW that’s all gonna go haywire 😭😭😭

like...the moment in the finale where you can see she’s hesitant to leave jaune to to go vacuo but she goes anyway because he’s her leader and he doesn’t like splitting up either and she loves him and she trusts him only for her to get STUCK ON THE OTHER SIDE BANGING ON THE PORTAL. that scene fucking BROKE me. you just KNOW she’s gonna be hating herself for going through and leaving jaune (even though nobody knew it was one way!!!) and when the portal dissolves and he doesn’t come through........

she really thinks that she’s lost TWO teammates now. that’s TWO teammates that she wasn’t able to save. she saved ren from the nuckelavee but pyrrha’s dead and as far as she knows jaune’s dead too

and jaune’s her fucking family!!!!!!!

and like. when we see her on the vacuo side of the portal, we see that she’s got the happy huntresses behind her. she did her job and she gathered them but now she can’t get back through and AHHHHHH. FUCK. when she drops to her knees because she realizes.........that fucking killed me. i’m tearing up now just typing this sdmndbm

and like. the worst part is that she just realized that she wants some time away from ren. but everyone else is gone and just like when they were kids he’s all she’s got and they are gonna lean on each other harder than ever because this time they both lost EVERYTHING. not just jaune, but ruby, who was their teammate for a while too. weiss, who took such great care of nora while she was injured. penny, who nora helped with blake’s advice. yang, who ren had time to bond with this volume. FUCK

it’s gonna hurt so bad to watch but i cannot WAIT to see what nora does next and how she moves forward. god. this is gonna kill her. it’s killing ME and i’m just a viewer lmao

ren:

remember that one week where neath went on twitter and was like “i love renora and i’m gonna make that everyone else’s problem”??? yeah. that was a good week lmao

speaking of neath. MASSIVE PROPS TO HIM FOR HIS WORK. he managed to give ren every single emotion in the book this volume and none of it sounded ooc despite ren being such a repressed character before. he did incredible!!!!

I LOVED REN SO MUCH THIS VOLUME GOD. i mean i love him in every volume BUT HE HAD SO MANY GOOD MOMENTS AND SUCH A GOOD ARC

i’ve already talked about it at length but the scene where his semblance evolves is one of my favorites in the whole show. he’s so fucking full of love that it’s literally tearing him apart and when he finally accepts that fact his ENTIRE SOUL levels up!!! he looks at himself and there are pink petals falling off of him because he can’t contain the love in his body anymore!!! it’s there in a literal, physical manifestation and it’s so. fucking. GOOD. FUCK.

and also my obligatory remark about how he was thinking about oscar and pyrrha and his parents in that moment. people he loved platonically and familially. rwby goes so fucking hard for platonic love and i can’t ever thank them enough. to see ren have this realization because he was thinking about oscar.....god i’m gonna cry again LMAO

and then after that the way that he just. looks at jaune in every scene with the biggest fucking heart eyes. i’m gonna fucking combust he loves his  leader SO MUCH. (which. as i mentioned in the nora section. pain now)

and the nora stuff........JUST AS GOOD

another thing i’ve talked about a lot but to see him apologize, be emotionally open, listen to what nora’s saying and what nora needs, TELL HER THAT HE LOVES HER FIRST, not holding a single thing against her, agreeing to wait for her to be ready.........literal perfection holy shit

romance is normally not one of my favorite aspects of any media but i will make an exception for whatever the fuck ren and nora got going on

basically as a ren stan / jnpr stan i was thriving this volume and then that finale hit me and i know i will be in pain until they reunite again

i have a handful of jnr gifs that i was planning to make during the hiatus but now they’re all PAIN aksjhdasjdh

oscar:

deeply worried about the quickly approaching merge. i’m really hoping that oscar and oz stay separate but i also love seeing all the animation/voice acting nuances that indicate that they’re getting closer to the merge.......AH

this volume really hammered home just how strong this kid is. he stands up to SALEM and does the right thing even despite the torture cause he’s so BRAVE and STRONG and when he trusted hazel with the password DESPITE IT ALL. ugh. so good.

i love oscar so much and i’ve loved seeing him grow!!!

penny:

serious stuff coming in the next bullet point but. GOD. her model’s head is so big and i don’t know WHY but this stuck out to me every time she was standing next to someone else. it might be because of the volume of her hair (but yang’s hair also has a lot of volume, and her head is normal sized)??? idk it just threw me off a lot. every time she was like, talking to ruby or something, all i could think about was how her head was bigger than ruby’s ENTIRE TORSO lmao. (also why didn’t they give her human body shoes skdjhaksjh)

that said.........oh, penny 😭😭😭😭😭

i’m surprised that she died but only because i thought her plot armor was pretty thick LMAO. narratively it makes a lot of sense and i’m glad her story ended the way it did.

i’ve seen a lot of people interpreting her actions in the finale as “choosing to die,” but i don’t think that’s the case?? penny’s friends all saved her every single time that she presented her own death as an option. that’s what makes this so tragic, is that they successfully saved her every time she offered that, and that in the end, she still died. she was gonna die anyway. she was impaled by cinder--jaune didn’t have enough time to heal her before cinder defeated weiss (who had no aura!!) and turned on them again. penny made her own choices when 1. she asked to die at the hands of a friend, rather than by cinder’s soul-sucking grimm arm and whatever horrible fate that includes and 2. to choose her successor. and i don’t blame her for making either of those choices! she wanted to die with as much dignity as peace as she could and to choose whose life she would be intertwined with. and while it’s very sad, i’m glad that penny finally got some sense of control over herself and her legacy.

and like...she was so happy when she met up with winter!! she was so happy to have full autonomy for once!!! that scene was both heartwarming and heartbreaking!!!

i also think that penny’s death reinforces the idea that remnant is gonna be very different by the time rwbyjnorqe is done with it. now not one but two kindhearted girls have gotten killed because they got tangled up in the maiden powers—which were originally meant to be a gift!! and i’m very interested to see what the resolution is gonna be!! (i know it’s gonna be in like. volume 52 or something alsjfndnx but still!!)

also, if nothing else, i am very glad that whole “pietro sacrifices the last of his aura to revive her” theory is gone. i hate that theory lmao

i will say, while i enjoyed penny’s role this volume, i do think that maybe some of her screentime could’ve gone elsewhere. i get that there needed to be a lot of focus on her, so that we would be attached when she died, but i think it would’ve been beneficial to spread that screentime elsewhere just a bit, especially since she wasn’t really developing at all. hitting the same point with her like seven times did start to feel a bit repetitive lol. my vote would be for extra time with the schnees, or the jn(o)r reunion at schnee manor, or maybe a scene checking in with pietro and maria!!

emerald:

EMERALD MY BELOVED

YOU DEFECTED!!!! GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!!!!

i hope we get a LOT more time with her in the future. she’s still gotta work out the cinder thing of course but i also think it’s gonna be super interesting to see how she acts now that she (alongside oscar, ren, nora, the hh, and winter) is one of the closest things their group has to a “leader”

also like........good for her for being one of the LEAST traumatized people this volume despite being THREATENED BY SALEM

somebody give emerald a nice long hug

i love her

that is all

winter:

WINTER OH MY GOD

seeing her struggle with her emotions all volume.....only to finally accept them and save marrow’s life.....and because of that choice she realizes how long overdue it was and goes all in on helping the heroes.....and is eventually chosen to become the next winter maiden by the girl who challenged her to accept her emotions in the first place......😭😭😭 chef’s kiss

“you chose nothing. this was a gift.” *demolishes ironwood but doesn’t stick around cause he’s not worth it* *fights cinder* POETIC CINEMA!!!!!

also i cannot wait to see her schneeunion with willow, whitley, and klein.......even if she does have to be the one to tell them what happened to weiss 😭

cinder:

CINDER I HATE YOU BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD VILLAIN

her backstory was pretty self explanatory but i think this was a good time to spell it out especially while we were in atlas. the culmination of that, her consistent failures to achieve her goals after v3, and watts dragging her really all just came together to make her so much more intimidating and efficient and i loved watching it.

like i know there’s people who don’t like her as a character but she’s always so fun to watch and her va does AMAZING and she’s just. so INTERESTING

also. i cannot wait for her to find out that ruby and neo are both alive (and especially when salem finds out they’re both alive LMAO)

also also her line to ruby about never being born feels.......awfully specific??? i wonder if it’s a hint at some other part of salem/cinder/ruby/summer lore (like her “and i refuse to starve” line from last volume)

also also also CINDER.......lying to salem is gonna backfire on you at one point or another.......HM

salem:

gosh i love salem. she’s such a good villain and i loved all her scenes (especially the fight scene...SO COOL).

very interested in whatever she does next!! since the only remaining lackey she has is cinder (who is now starting to try to manipulate her) and tyrian and mercury, who are in vacuo, i’m curious about her next steps. is she gonna keep recruiting, now that people know who she is?? is she gonna come to vacuo herself?? she could definitely do a WHOLE LOT OF DAMAGE with the refugee situation there, so i’m super excited to see how her next moves play out!!

hazel/tyrian/watts/merc/neo:

rip hazel. glad we were able to get an INSANE fight scene out of him before his death BUT ALSO WHAT’S WITH YOU BEATING THE SNOT OUT OF A 14 YEAR OLD HUH

listen. listen. i know merc-rescues-oscar was never a possibility BUT i still love that idea. it lives in my mind rent free!!!

i feel like mercury’s gonna be so insane after the worst road trip ever in a confined space with tyrian that he’s gonna be immediately redeemed by team sssnn and the power of himbofication upon landing in vacuo LMAO

real talk though, i am VERY interested in what happens when mercury sees emerald again and learns she defected. like, this is his friend, who he’s tried to keep safe the only way he knows how (by keeping his head down and not angering their abuser) and she got out but he didn’t. GOD. AND in the first fight she was in after defecting, she used the move that she learned by watching him!!!! that’s gonna be SO GOOD and i can’t wait to see it!!!

neo is a wildcard and i love watching her fight and i think it’s SO INTERESTING that she went over the side with rwby and jaune and i CAN’T WAIT to see what she does next.

WATTS MY DUDE. what a GOOD volume for him. like the stuff where he yells at cinder was SO COOL to see and it was so funny that he thought that wasn’t gonna come back to bite him LMAO. i think this was super fitting for him and while i like him as a villain, i think this was a good place for his story to end. i had a lot of fun watching his scenes this volume.

qrow/robyn:

I LOVE THEIR SIBLING ENERGY. robyn talking qrow down and them bonding over their semblances together was so great.

i also loved qrow’s semblance...evolving?? changing?? idk what exactly happened yet, but i know that if i too hung out with robyn hill for 48 hours straight my outlook on life would improve dramatically.

i do hope robyn makes it to vacuo soon because she will be invaluable at handling the refugee crisis there.

on the other hand, if qrow gets to vacuo and finds out that ruby and yang (and three more of his adopted kids) never made it........PAIN. oh my god it’s gonna be like summer all over again 😭😭

aceops:

did not expect to get teary-eyed when vine died. and yet i did. that “themes of death” cw on the finale was CERTAINLY SOMETHING HUH

hell yeah marrow!!! what a good boi!!! i loved his defection ofc and him going off on ironwood...chefs kiss

i hope marrow sticks with the main cast. he’s my favorite and he deserves to see his friends again!!!

as for elm and harriet, i’m not sure?? i think harriet still has a lot of work to do before she’s redeemed in my eyes. maybe they can be dropped off at beacon to help glynda fight the grimm/rebuild so that they can be back for the show’s ending but the cast is somewhat trimmed for vacuo lmao

also. i know they’re not aceops. but WHERE ARE FLYNT AND NEON ARE THE MEME KIDS OKAY

happy huntresses:

may marigold is literally perfect in every way

loved them! would’ve loved to see more of them lmao. maybe even just cutting back to them in the crater reacting to some of the stuff going on.

i very much hope we get to see them in the future! i know the vacuans aren’t gonna be happy with the atlas/mantle people showing up unannounced but i feel like if there’s anyone who’s gonna be able to earn their respect, it’s the organized-and-saved-the-lives-of-those-downtrodden-by-atlas-happy-huntresses.

maria & pietro:

okay. SO. my thoughts are either that they made it to vacuo (penny did see where amity would touch down, so it’s possible that a portal was placed in that location and they made it through) or qrow picks them up.

either way, i hope we get to see them again. I LOVE THESE TWO GEEZERS!!!

oh, pietro......... *cries*

ironwood:

not much to say here except that i loved it. i loved how he got more and more paranoid, i loved that he vaporized jacques schnee, i loved that he only went cartoon-villain at the last moment, i loved that he died unceremoniously surrounded by the thing he thought would save them all. i love that cinder got in one final chess reference beforehand. 10/10

the hound:

it feels like a lifetime ago that this guy died but holy shit. holy SHIT.

i want whitley to summon the hound!! it was an enemy that pushed him to grow, i think it would be neat!!

ambrosius:

LOVED THIS DUDE. i LOVE how his powers work!!! like, even though it’s magic, it’s so realistic because that’s how creation works!!! you gotta design the EXACT thing you want or else its gonna be fucked up!!!

like. okay. so (back on my engineering bs again lmao) for example. let’s say i’m writing a program where the user enters a number from 1-10 and it’s displayed on the computer screen. so i write whatever code i need that says “take user input and put on screen.” that’s what ambrosius did when he created the portals and the pathways between them!

and then let’s say i also put a warning to the user that says “only enter numbers from 1-10.” that would be ambrosius saying “do not fall.”

but...the user can still enter whatever they want. what happens if they put in the number 100? what happens if they type a letter? this program only puts numbers from 1-10 on screen, so who knows what’s gonna happen. and that’s what happens when people fall off the railings!!!

“oh, but you told them what numbers to enter” yeah but humans are unpredictable and ya gotta account for the human element when doing stuff like this!! team rwby didn’t account for people falling off--because why would people fall off if they were told not to? but the human element messed that up anyway!!!

anyways i’m a fucking nerd apparently but it was super cool to see that reflected in ambrosius!!! i’m a big fan!!!

like whenever people call him tricky or sneaky...no!!! he was just doing exactly what he was told to do!!!! so good!!!

also i wanna see him hang out with his sister jinn lmao

alright and here’s my thoughts/predictions for v9:

first off i just wanna say that this entire section (this entire post really, but especically this section) is just me spitballing lmao. we literally have ZERO clue what’s happening next or where they are, i’m just throwing out some stuff that’s crossed my mind! whatever crwby gives us is gonna be infinitely better than whatever i come up with lmao

that said, i have two ideas for what could be happening in madagascar.

option one is the one i’ve seen other people toss around, which is the whole wonderland-land-of-the-dead thing. i’m kinda torn on this because i think it could be good for penny’s storyline, but not really anyone else’s?? sure, yang and ruby could see summer, but weiss would see...jacques?? and blake would see...adam?? i’m not sure what weiss and blake would have to say to them/learn from them the same way ruby and yang would.

on that same idea, jaune could definitely see pyrrha, but again, i’m wondering what purpose that would serve? obviously jaune’s actions in the finale were guided by pyrrha (or specifically her mom, and realizing that pyrrha never had a choice either), but it’s clear that that’s the case for all of team jnpr, and it will be probably forever. their scene together at pyrrha’s memorial felt like they were closing the door--specifically--on their grief. on the other hand, those actions are super relevant right now and i will never turn down the chance to see pyrrha!!! it’s just free waterworks babey!!!

neo also has roman, but i can’t really see roman admitting to anyone that he got swallowed by a grimm 😭😭 just seems too embarrassing for him LMAO

for penny, i think this could work nicely. all she ever wanted was to not have her life controlled by others--kind of like alice in wonderland (the disney movie version because i am fairy tale illiterate lmao). if penny gets to exist after death in a land where she gets to choose everything for herself i think she would be very happy!

again, if this ends up being the case, crwby could 100% make it work! (and i am 0% opposed to maya model pyrrha.) i just personally am not as sold on this being the case as some others are.

option two imo is vacuo but in the past. which i know seems kind of weird BUT i have reasons!

so we know a few things about vacuo. one, it used to be an oasis and was considered a paradise until atlas and mistral destroyed it for the dust. two, it has giant motherfucking crabs that people like to eat. yes this is all i have to go off of BUT both of those things are in the end credits scene we got!

also, them landing in past-vacuo makes sense on ambrosius’ level. their “one way ticket” probably didn’t include all four dimensions of coordinates--so i could see them landing in the same x, y, and z as the official doorway, but at a different time. the creation would still do exactly what it was asked to do--drop them in vacuo.

there’s also a couple other things. “vacuo” means “in a vacuum” which i’ve heard v9 is supposed to be. also in before the dawn, sun saw some bigass magic tree that awakened his semblance which this one definitely could qualify as

(okay. side note. when i first saw the tree i thought of the glowy tree from james cameron blue people avatar. IDK WHY, i haven’t seen that movie in years??? i also had to google it to make sure i wasn’t making it up and apparently it’s called the “tree of souls.” which would also make sense if it helped sun awakened his semblance. i don’t think rwby based something off of blue people avatar, it’s probably more likely that blue people avatar is based off of some fairytale/mythology that i don’t know anything about LMAO)

i don’t actually think option two is gonna happen, but it was fun to think about!!

also either option opens the opportunity to time not passing 1:1 in current vacuo & rwby’s island getaway which???????? AHHHHH

alright so now to the actual characters lmao. i mentioned wby earlier. i honestly have no clue what neo’s gonna be up to, she’s such a wild card and i LOVE IT.

ruby and jaune is gonna be...........PAIN. NO MATTER WHAT. i have no idea how ruby is gonna react--she might just be so overwhelmed by everything that she snaps/yells at jaune which. PAIN. but she also might not?? which. ALSO PAIN. i feel like no matter what ruby does, jaune’s gonna blame himself anyway. god. i love their friendship SO MUCH and this is gonna HURTTTT

and on that, he doesn’t have ren and nora this time to pull him back from the ledge. this dude’s guilt complex is gonna go crazy especially since he doesn’t have his team and double especially if ruby/rwby blames him for what happened. god it’s gonna HURT TO WATCH.

on a wildly different note, i hope we do get to see vacuo/qrow throughout volume 9. if i go a whole volume without ren and nora i WILL cry lmao.

also it’s gonna be super interesting to see how their group fares!!! vacuo’s fuckin nuts and i’d love to see winter just destroying the grimm there (3 headed giraffe my beloved) and see how the atlas/mantle refugees handle the climate--and how the vacuans react to all of them LMAO

ALSO!!!! THE SULFER FISH WERE THERE!!! very glad to see that they’re in vacuo too because from the concept art it seems like they have super unique abilities and i’m excited that we may get to properly see them, instead of just cameos!!!

team cfvy pspspspspspsps theodore and rumpole pspspspspsps team sssnn pspspspspsps

and, of course, i gotta mention that any possible jnr reunion WILL tear my heart out and i will probably cry for days. i gotta start emotionally preparing now LMAO

alright and that wraps it up!! if anyone makes it down to the bottom props to you!! i don’t expect anyone to actually read this mess lmao. tldr: INCREDIBLE volume and i’m so hype for v9 already!!!

[toloveawarlord]

Pt. 3

Characters: Alara & Mansion Residents

Tagging: @plumpblueberry @ihavenotfallenyet @claire-maccarthy @littlewitty

A/N: Wow this took a ton of time and I rewrote scenes multiple times. I have mapped out the rest of this mini-series and it will be about 8 chapters long. Give or take a little bit!

Their opinions differed.

Split.

Arguments covering all the options of how to handle their tiny guest. Arthur, Vincent, and Napoleon siding on the best choice being for her to stay with them. She would be protected, safe, and happy. Jean, Mozart, and Sebastian were erring on the side of caution, finding all the reasons it would be wrong for her to remain. The rest of the residents were undecided.

Comte sat at the head of the table, no indication of his own thoughts on steeled features. Eventually, it would fall upon him to make the final decision as the owner of the mansion. Having his residents in disarray over a single human child, no matter how tragic her plight, simply wouldn’t do. She’d left quite a mark on the ones who had met her.

“Would it not be best to send the little mademoiselle to an orphanage? She’d be cared for, fed, sheltered, adopted into a permanent home,” Jean said. He’d only see the stepfather and he did sympathize, but this environment was most dangerous for a child.

Arthur gave a breathy laugh, waving his hand to dismiss the idea. “It’s unlikely that she’d last a week in a place like that. Her mother was bought, and that threat continues to loom over her. She’ll be eaten alive in an orphanage.” The mere idea of subjecting her to more trauma set a frown on the writer’s lips.

“Poor choice of words, Arthur. She’d be eaten alive here if one of us lost control.” The sour pianist hadn’t even laid eyes on the girl, but the presence of a child could bring adverse effects. What if she caused a ruckus when he was creating? All he knew of children was they’re loud and insatiable.

Isaac’s gaze flickered between the opposite parties. Both had their valid hypothesis of the outcomes of her staying, and yet... “If you’d met her, Mozart, you’d surely have reservations in throwing her out. We have a steady supply of rouge and blanc.” He’d consider it an outlier to say that their vampire state is the largest threat to her safety. Isaac couldn’t, in good conscious, send Alara off after seeing her carefree smile surface with them.

“I’m in agreement,” Vincent spoke up. Cerulean blue eyes downcast at his hands, the lingering feeling of her trembling body against his own ever present. The reason unclear, but the painter wished to protect her from the world that sought to harm her.

Sebastian cleared his throat, his opinion on the matter he thought irrelevant. “I believe it will be your decision, M. Le Comte. What action do you advise we take concerning our little guest?” He would honor whatever Comte decided.

All attention fell onto the pure blood at the head of the table, many of them wearing their emotions clearly on their faces. The truth being that an orphanage would not treat her kindly, but with so many residents against her stay, the most comparable choice was to place her in a family that he trusted to be good for her.

“I’ve a suggestion,” Theo interrupted, having remained neutral and quiet for most of the conversation. He’d only met the girl briefly, and the facts of their nature as vampires posed a real threat, and yet, humans could be just as dangerous. The situation a heavy one. “We should take a couple of days to deliberate on it.”

Dazai hummed in response but began to nod his head in agreement. “A rushed decision could result in a wrong choice. That man might simply claim her from an orphanage, and her fate could twist into more pain.”

“We shall keep Alara in our care until we can ensure her a home that will be suitable. Whether that be here, or elsewhere.” Comte spoke at last, bringing a swift end to their meeting. Tension and emotions were still high from the confrontation only hours earlier. All needed to reflect and rest.

As for himself, Comte went to visit their guest. He assured Napoleon that no reason remained for a guard. Oscar wouldn’t dare return so soon after his talk, if at all. The snake of a man had accepted the generous donation and returned to his hole. Shutting the door soundlessly, Comte turned his attention to the soft whines coming from beneath the comforter.

“Calm your fears. No harm shall come to you here, mon petite cherie.” Words laced with comfort and full of protection. He brushed his fingers through silky locks of black hair until the pained expression calmed. Had this child ever known a night of rest without nightmares since coming to France?

No real solution had been settled. His house in partial disarray. A little girl in a precarious situation where she would likely be subjected to more pain before this ended. Comte draped his overcoat over the back of the armchair before settling in it.

Finding any home for her was a simple job. His connections were endless but nowhere fitting the standard of life that he could provide for her. Any upper-class French couple would only treat a foreign child as lesser than. He refused to send her to anywhere less than a home that could give her anything her heart desired.

Yet, keeping her here held a great risk. A household full of vampires. The secret could be kept easily if no one bit her, at least until she was old enough to know. But children were reckless and hurt themselves easily. One slip and she could end up dead. Though he trusted each and every one of his residents and believed them to be careful enough to keep her safe, accidents were a possibility.

How would she effect the balance?

Too many variables and at the center was a little girl who had already made her way into his heart. Comte had no children of his own, and his experience with children limited. Never once had he desired to care for one until he saw those pale green eyes change from fearful to full of life. He couldn’t bring himself to fully give in to her if it meant disrupting the other residents.

He only intended to rest his eyes. Thoughts enraptured in problems stacking upon problems with less solutions to fight against them. The raging storm outside reflected within his own mind. The longer they kept her, the harder it would be for her to part with them. The right answer alluding him at every turn.

Morning light spilled over into the bedroom, bringing warmth to the room. Sky without any lingering dark clouds of the intense storm. Birds chirped a happy tune, signaling a better day than the one before. Even the sun peeking over the horizon gave a promise to be brighter and warmer.

Comte awoke to the serene moment, content to simply listen to the birds sing beyond the windowpane for a little longer. As he moved to shift his legs, a weight that hadn’t been there the previous night prohibited it. Golden eyes slid open, unsure of what to expect.

Beneath a silken blanket, Alara sat on his lap, cheek pressed against him. Her breathing soft but she slept soundly, clutching his other arm to her as if it were her only lifeline. Black hair messy and tangled from the blanket shifting around it. Either the storm or her nightmares had woken her, and she chose to seek comfort with him.

“You’ve seen too much for your age,” Comte spoke quietly to her, petting her head. There were quite a few problems with her being in the mansion, but perhaps he could smooth them all over. As he lifted his palm to stroke her hair again, the girl woke with a start.

Pale green eyes wide with fright and confusion. She tried to slide away from him, memory fuzzy. Most mornings in her home had been lonely, and if anyone were there, it did not bode well for her. Without realizing, Alara had pulled away too much and slipped nearly completely off his legs.

Comte reacted inhumanly quick, leaning forward and catching her before she fell into the floor. “You’re alright, Alara. No more harm will come to you,” he assured as he placed her back onto his lap. “We slept a little late this morning. I’m confident that breakfast is waiting.”

The fear lingering in her eyes began dissipating and, in its place, a bit of anticipation. Her eyes flickered to the door as someone rapped on it before opening it. The way she recoiled to hide herself from view was bittersweet. Her openness to be comfortable with Comte, yet afraid of it crumbling down around her.

“I have purchased clothes more suited for her as requested. It will be delivered later in the day. However, I brought this for her to wear today.” Sebastian held up a beautiful, coral rose dress made of the finest materials that one could buy. “I’ll see to her getting dressed.”

He’d promised to do so, but once alone with the girl, it seemed an arduous task. Sebastian laid the dress on the bed along with the socks and shoes he’d picked out to best go with the outfit before addressing the child ducked down on the other side of the bed. “Please come out from there Miss Alara.”

“I can do it myself!” She dressed herself every day. The maids taking the time to teach her how in order to not have to do it themselves. As long as no buttons were out of reach, Alara had confidence that this task could be completed.

“I’ll wait outside, then.” Sebastian wavered at the door. He couldn’t allow her to cause herself harm, but at the same time, pushing her would only put a rift between their relationship. Should Comte decide to adopt the girl into the home, it would become his duty to oversee her needs met.

With the door almost completely closed, Alara peeked over the top of the bed to be sure that he’d gone. Satisfied that the room was empty, she rounded the bed and observed the dress up close. Her fingers dragged across the material, softer than she’d ever felt before. Nothing like the coarse and uncomfortable dress that her stepfather bought for her.

No buttons were in her way. The dress slid easy over her head and she only struggled for a moment to get her arms through the fitted cuffs at the bottom of the sleeves. Alara plopped onto the floor, falling onto her back as she tugged and pulled the white sock over her small foot, then repeated with the other.

The final touch, a pair of black shoes with a strap that looped around her ankle and buckled to the other side. She’d been taught how to do it, but it had always proved hard. After a few minutes of struggle, the girl simply tucked the end of the strap through and thought it to be fine.

“All done,” Alara announced to an empty hallway. That man was a butler, so he must have something else to do. All the staff at her stepfather’s home worked all day long and never stopped. Cleaning, cooking, delivering. She shrugged her shoulders and began down the hall. The kitchen and dining hall were down the stairs somewhere, so she must be going in the right direction.

A door ajar caught her attention, as all the others were tightly closed. A room filled with more books and interesting treasures than she had ever seen before drew her in. A haphazard mess, but a beautiful one. Books were stacked taller than she stood, paintings and maps stuffed all in between. Whose room would this be?

Atop one of the stacks, a shiny necklace laid in plain sight. Curiosity took over, as no one was around to see, and she reached up to take it. Nothing supported the tower books and the slightest shift caused the entire thing to lean towards her, ready to bury her beneath it’s hard covers.

Though Alara squeezed her eyes shut and covered her head, the anticipated pain never hit her. Instead, the overwhelming smell of cigarettes filled the space.

“That was a close one, wasn’t it?” The man holding back the stack of books had appeared from the other side of the pile. He imagined this must the girl that had caused the big commotion. Such a slight but beautiful child. Only half awake, he’d barely caught it, and hadn’t realized that his lazy expression was being misconstrued as an unhappy glare.

Alara took a step back, pale green eyes wide with many emotions, but the most present one being fear. Who was this man? Why was he sleeping on the floor? Would he be angry with her for invading his room? How much trouble was she in? The only men she’d known to smoke were her stepfather’s so-called friends.

“Scusa, - hey, wait-”

The words barely reached the child that started to bolt from the room. Being startled by a stranger had scared her at first but being reprimanded for entering a room that didn’t belong to her brought about the most distress. Alara spotted a figure ahead that she recognized from the previous night. “Arthur!”

The writer turned at the call of his name, lighting up with a smile for a brief moment until he noted the frantic state, she was in. “What’s the matter?” He couldn’t fathom what might have startled her so.

“Pick me up!” She rose up onto the balls of her feet, arms outstretched and begging for it. He’d protected her last night and she did quite like his accent, so a sense of familiar safety came from being around him.

“You don’t need to try to climb me,” Arthur chuckled as he did as she wanted. His gaze flickered from her to Leonardo’s room where she’d come out of. He must have been sleeping in an odd place and accidentally scared her. What good fun. With the girl’s legs locked around his waist and thin arms so tight around his neck, Arthur patted her back. “I’ll wager that Leonardo isn’t as frightening as you think he is.” 

Leonardo emerged from his bedroom, brushing his hand through his hair. “I had no intentions of scaring you, cara mia.” He’d only heard the story of what happened second hand, and grossly underestimated how timid and fragile her mindset was.

The only response given was a soft whine as she hid her face in Arthur’s neck and tightened her grip on him. “Scary.” Her whisper soft enough that only the writer caught it, to which he found quite amusing.

“This is quite the predicament you’ve gotten yourself into.” Arthur grinned at the other vampire. He wanted to bring her down for breakfast just like this. A triumphant entrance as he’d boast that he’d won her trust. “I hadn’t a clue you liked to torture young ones.”

“I saved her from a stack of books about to collapse on top of her. That’s the opposite of torture. I’m sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

No response came.

Leonardo tried speaking to her as they walked down to the dining hall. She refused to even look at him, only responding to Arthur when he asked her an unrelated question. He sighed in defeat as they reached the main door. It would take some time to recover from this incident.

A truly bad first impression.

[allyvampirelass29]

The Hourglass and The Oracle

A NOS4A2 Review By: Allyssa J. Watkins

A spiraling staircase A bold fuchsia beauty Lights flicker in your eyes As our energies collide And, Darling, you're starting to get to me......

I'm not your Darling, John Buy a girl a drink first Before you thirst For what you can't get your hands on Throwing my head back with a laugh You're going to fall And it's going to be too fast Who said I was yours to catch? Ask me again And I'll ask you to dance

May I have a moment of your time? I don't need to be a Strong Creative, Dear To tease your mind A turn of the hourglass A trick of the sublime You're like sand through my hands Sifting too fast to touch And it's not enough...... You're the exceptional exception When I say we're hard to love.

Sparks fly Drawing you in I'll make you believe in magic again Fate's siren song calls to the Hourglass Man I guess it's my turn To show you my hand But be forewarned, My Gentleman Friend There's no telling what happens When you open the door to the static You might not want the answer Once you have it Shaking the bag Rolling the Dice A cigarette burn is a more than fair price To watch time drain from the Hourglass' eyes Clutching the hurt As your knife catches my eye Shattering your glass Scattering your sand Close your eyes, You Hopeless Flirt This is me, skipping dessert I gotta say you put up one hell of a fight Say goodnight, John You've run out of time

CHECK. FREAKING. MATE!!!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, the MATCH has been called, and the Hourglass didn't stand a chance against the Woman of the Hour, Our Dauntless Oracle, and very own, Miss Margaret Leigh!!! My GOD, Maggie seized her time to shine in a dazzling foray of sultry seduction, and deadly spectacle, and while it may have been The Hourglass' last bow, it was the iridescent ORACLE who stole the show, and she alone deserves our standing ovation!!! I LOVED this episode, beginning to end, the intrigue, the sleek deception, the intense human drama, all beautifully intertwined in this beguiling game within a game, a chess match of like-minded Creative prowess!!! Brava, Miss Leigh, and bravissimo, NOS4A2, for spoiling us yet again!!! "The Hourglass," is a violin overture of vulnerable human moments, and intellectual powerplays, reaching the fever pitch of the most ghastly, scream-bloody-murder cliff hangar of the entire series.

Where last week Charlie was the blunt force trauma, the pounding hammer, smashing everyone and everything in his path to Wayne, Maggie is the stealth strike, the seductively wielded scalpel, removing Charlie's secret weapon with lethal precision, after he proves to be the more immediate threat to her best friend, now that Charlie's absconded with her son. She's a force to be reckoned with, a fuchsia femme fatale, as lovely as she is deadly, the perfect rosé of coy and coquettish as she flirts with time and death itself. It was her finest hour, hands down, and I LOVED that NOS4A2 gave her the spotlight, and that she literally KILLED, leaving us begging for more.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Two Strong Creatives walk into a bar........ Like an ingenue reminiscent of Old Hollywood, with every lilac strand of her rebellious florescence pinned in place, Maggie descends the long, spiral staircase, sending the lights to flicker, and drawing the eye of an instantly intrigued, Mr. Hourglass. I must say, The Hourglass Man's smooth, and tenacious pursuit of our Maggie, was a FANTASTIC blindsight, a surprise I never saw coming!!! Where I expected a smouldering duel to the death as soon as their eyes met, knives flying, I found myself drawn instead, irresistibly into the tantalizing tango between the two of them. Their witty repartee was both sparkling, and sharp-edged, as John advanced, and Maggie countered, playing hard to get, while secretly drawing him in. It's thrilling to watch, marveling at these seemingly unlikely lovers, and yet, with each move and countermove, I could see how much they thought alike, both crafty intellectuals, who knew how to play the game, and how to win.

"We're hard to love. People fall for us because of our abilities, but they always come to fear the very thing that drew them in. They tell us to tone it down, betray our gifts, like declawing a cat. It's cruel."

This is my favourite line in the entire episode, it struck me straight to the heart, tears in my eyes, overwhelmed by its tragic beauty and excruciating truth. It's also the one time that Maggie's smoky-eyed seductive veil slips, and she lets herself feel something very real. In that moment, as fleeting as it is, there are no sides, no waiting plots, or poised vendettas. There are two Strong Creatives, two kindred supernatural beings with very human feelings. Victims of their own gifts, with universal wants, and desires. Powers greater than their wildest dreams, but at what cost? In this moment, Maggie cares about John, connects with him, because she feels these words burn emblazoned, even hotter than the cigarette he's about to press into her arm.

Two Strong Creatives walk into a bar....... and only one comes out alive. These two take, "Get a room," to a whole new level!!! "I'm not going to hurt you, unless you want me to........." John says smoothly, before pressing a lit cigarette into Maggie's arm, telling her to harness the pain, let it consume her, until it's all she knows, and then whispers his question like a sweet nothing in her ear, nuzzling her close. John, with all of his scheming predilections and parlor tricks has found a way to cheat the Strong Creative check when it comes due. In event of seizures, or memory loss, you can hurt yourself...... or hurt someone else. I had always secretly suspected this proviso, I even wrote it into my own NOS4A2 Series, that my character's compassion gets punished by unknowingly hurting someone else, every time she uses her gift, but seeing John's shocking demonstration, breathing in with explicit pleasure as he burns her, watching Maggie's big brown eyes spark, both excited, and relieved that she can hurt herself and still use her powers, was an absolute ordeal. I have a feeling Maggie just discovered a dangerous new addiction........

Speaking of ordeals........ John shatters a glass table, ready to kill the messenger, when he doesn't get the answer that he wants, the fates formally denying his request for immortality. And it is here, in the midst of his ruffled, heartbroken, rage, that the events deviated dramatically from my own predictions. I thought Charlie had promised him immortality in exchange for killing Vic McQueen, and that Maggie had unwittingly unmasked this betrayal, proving Charlie had lied, offering the Creative Holy Grail that he intended to keep for himself. Immortality, apparently a non-transferrable work benefit. With our slighted Hourglass primed for revenge, and his particular fascination for Maggie, I thought for sure she'd be able to turn him against Charlie, brandish the Hourglass against his new business partner, rallying him to Vic's cause, and more or less, have him join Team McQueen to take Manx down once and for all.

I was wrong...... So, so wrong. I don't think any of us saw what was coming....... "It's rare I get such a hands on opportunity," John rasps, once he finds his stolen knife in Maggie's bag, teasing seduction climaxing into a crime of passion, as the two of them scrapple and scrape for the hourglass. "Sweetheart, give up. You're not getting out of here alive." Maggie gets choked, hurled over the shattered glass table, but you can't keep a good girl down, and The Hourglass is no Charlie Manx. "I tried to warn you, John, my tiles are never wrong." Maggie thrusts a shard of glass up into the Hourglass Man's heart, and with an anguished, hopeless cry he watches her stomp his knife into the ground, coming down on it hard, leaving nothing but shattered glass, and scattered sand. WOW........ I am speechless. I have to admit, I did not expect Charlie's new player and point man to be vanquished this early in the game, as awestruck as I am by this new fearless facet of Maggie's unique brilliance. She was elegant, badass, and beautiful, and I'm so glad he's dead, but I don't know....... I felt like his death was his third and final disappointment. Sorry John, we'll always have Parnassus.

Oh my God, if Maggie was this episode's Oscar Winner for Best Actress, Linda Freaking McQueen WINS for Best Supporting Actress!!!! She's the other sassy heroine of "The Hourglass," mouthing off to FBI agents like nobody's business, and it is SENSATIONAL!!!! "What does FBI stand for, huh? Failed. Bad. Incompetent? We're Americans!!! My husband works for the postal service, I go to CHURCH!!! Do better!!!" You TELL 'EM Linda!!! She's a delight in every scene she's in, standing up to the suits, and telling them what's what!!! She's had it with these big, fancy, feds not protecting her daughter, and she ain't afraid to get vocal about it. Aaaaaah and the whole conversation with her and Chris was AMAZING!!! There is something so fascinating about two hard knock realists, two complete skeptics talking about the possibility of the Supernatural.

"There's a difference between special, Chris, and magic. Our daughter ain't magic."

"How would you know?"

"Because I wiped her snotty nose, for Christ's sake!!! What kind of mother misses something like that?"

"The kind that's too busy hiding bruises and paying bills to look up."

Linda's emphatic disbelief is so perfect, and I just love the way she says that, "Our daughter ain't magic!" I also love how Chris is starting to believe in Vic, and it's that burgeoning faith in his daughter's abilities that makes Linda start to wonder if maybe her daughter could be magic. Chris owning up to his past mistakes, and blaming himself, for his wife's oversight, was such a bittersweet moment too, wanting so badly to let her off the hook. He's changed, they both have, and I couldn't be more proud. Another beautifully human moment that I really loved was between her and Vic, and here we finally find out why the McQueen women can't be close to each other. "I never felt that you needed me." It's a rare, deeply insightful look into Linda's heart, a vulnerable truth, and I feel like I know them both even better through it. Linda needs to be needed, she needs to have somebody to take care of, somebody that relies on her, and with a drunk, philandering husband who sought comfort elsewhere, and a fiercely independent daughter, Linda had no one. She felt listless, without purpose, and thus drowned her sorrows with a tipped back bottle.

The scene with Vic and Lou cuddling in his hospital bed also strikes a chord in this veritable symphony of human emotion, and with every new episode, I ship Team McCarmody even harder!!! Lou with a stint in his heart, and Vic with a concussion, and injured spleen, have this impossibly sweet moment, in the midst of the aftermath and ever-present horror of the abduction of their son. I love how they anchor each other, try to calm each other down, and still manage to make each other laugh.

"Han Solo ain't half the mechanic as Lou Carmody."

"Did you- Did you just refer to yourself in the third person...... and rate yourself....... ABOVE Han Solo?"

Vic's laugh in that moment is so pure, and a much needed relief, as she holds onto the love, the teddy bear of a man, that Charlie couldn't take from her, and in that moment, she decides to focus on what she has left, even while fighting for what she has lost. I'm reminded of a quote from my other favourite show, HEROES. "We're human first, and heroes second."

Charlie may take a back seat this episode, but he is still a coaxing, debonair presence with a teasing linger, and not without another clever trick up his sleeve. "There is no need to hide your cellular telephone from me, My Boy," He coos as Wayne fumbles to sneak a call to his Mom. I was SHOCKED when Charlie urged Young Bats to do just that, call his mother. "What kind of MONSTER do you take me for?" He asks silkily, feigning indignance, and with bated breath, we wait as the phone rings, and rings, and rings...... No way in HELL is Vic not taking that call, and yet, Young Master Wayne hangs his wildly curly head, defeated, as the call goes unanswered. "She's a real heartbreaker, your mother...... isn't she? Never there for you, no matter how good you are. It's not personal, Wayne. In the end Vic McQueen cares only for herself and no one else," Charlie chortles, and he knows it's working....... bit by bit, he means to turn his new favourite charge, against his own mother, convince him of her neglect and indifference. My theory? Charlie can block calls using his creative power, which would explain how he's avoided capture, and the FBI's modern trappings for so long. You sneaky, sneaky boy!!!

OH HELLO CRAIG!!!! Yes, you read that right...... CRAIG, Wayne's father who burned to death in the Wraith, like a ghastly apparition appears to his son, with singed skin, and glazed over eyes. At first I thought this was Charlie manipulating Wayne, showing what his mother did to his father, and how he wasn't ever going to be safe with her, but to my own astonishment, Charlie could not see him!!! Craig encourages Wayne, tells him Charlie's lying, gives him hope, and insists she's coming for him. I thought that was a spectacular, wide-eyed SHOCK that came out of thin air, and I couldn't help but think about how Cassie appeared to her daughter in this same way........ Hmmm can children, if they are Strong Creatives themselves, see the parents they have lost at the hands of Charlie Manx? Curiouser and curiouser........

My breath caught, everything going numb, when that bloody tooth fell out in Wayne's tiny hand. I LOVE that little boy with all my heart and soul, and I'm sorry, Charlie, but I do NOT want him to become a vampire!!! Wayne starts to change in other ways too, playing with a butterfly, as his usual cheerful self, adorably naming him Sunny, before killing it, ripping it into shreds, his sweet little face devoid of any emotion. WHAT!? I had chills like crazy, and I felt heartsick. I don't know though, did anybody else think that butterfly looked strange, almost not quite real? The way the Wraith rolled down the window to let it in...... It makes me wonder if this didn't just happen in Wayne's mind.

I did notice though, how long it took for the Wraith to siphon off Wayne's youth to heal the nasty gash on Charlie's cheek. Even Charlie starts to worry, checking the mirror again and again, only to find it slightly healed, and it's not until the near end of the episode that he looks one more time, nails resting on the side of his head, sighing into his hand with relief, when he sees his once again flawless visage staring back. It's like Wayne is fighting the car, slowing down its effects, because no child has gone this long without turning!!! All exciting further proof that Wayne HAS to be a Strong Creative!!! I also love how Charlie continues to be the perfect, doting father figure, ever so careful and patient with Wayne, and I just melted, with a besotted sigh when he asked him if he had to use the water closet!" That was precious!!! Also, my new FAVOURITE thing ever, is Charlie click-clacking his long, gorgeous nails along the Wraith's windows as he walks past it!!! Dear GOD, Handsome, WHAT are you doing to me!?

THAT ending though........ I'm crying....... I SOBBED, I'm so not okay. What the freaking HELL.........!?!? Just as we're all having cozy Charlie and Wayne feelings, fawning over them both, that DAMNED BASTARD Bing Partridge comes out of NOWHERE surprising our dashing vampire, shoving the gas hose in his face, and he goes down HARD!!!! Once he's disabled the Wraith, he abducts Charlie, and leaves Wayne behind. It's blood-curdling to watch....... knowing what horrors Bing has already committed, and what dark intention he holds for his once upon a time hero, now that Charlie's left him to die. I'm freaking scared. I was hyperventilating, and full of murderous fury even hours after the episode had ended. The wait for next week is going to hit a lot different, after that cruel cliff-hanger, and I can only hope Charlie can dangle Christmasland in an effort to thwart Bing's fat, homicidal hand. Bing Partridge, you hateful Son of a BITCH, if you disturb so much as one strand of Charlie's beautiful raven hair, I'm gonna KILL you SO DEAD!!! Time's run out for the Hourglass, will another of Vic's foes meet the same fate? Bing Partridge must DIE!!! Somebody......... SAVE CHARLIE MANX!!!!!

[hideawayintheimaginationworld]

I am Machine: Chapter 8

One week had passed, Alec noticed Helpy seemed really excited about something.

“What are you jumping about for?” Alec asked him before he started to work.

“August 18th,” He replied, “It’s a great day!”

Alec was confused, did Helpy know...?

“It's the pizzeria's 50th anniversary, a big milestone,” Helpy continued talking, “The first location was opened August 18th 1970. It's also Lefty’s birthday.”

Of course, Helpy wouldn’t know, why did Alec assume?

Wait. Lefty’s birthday was on the 18th of August? He assumed they didn't celebrate anything like Birthdays.

“It’s Lefty’s birthday?”

“Yes, I don't know his real age, I've tried to guess but I never get it right!” Helpy huffed, “And he won't tell me!”

Alec couldn’t help but lightly laugh at that, that sounded like what Lefty would do. Over the last week he learnt a lot about Lefty and Helpy, Helpy did actually sleep talk so Alec saw why on that night Lefty believed he was just sleep talking.

“Hey! When’s your birthday? Mine is February 15th! The day after Valentine’s day! I apparently also share my birthday with some animatronic named Fetch! I never met him but I've seen pictures of Fetch! Of course, it's all old photos, he was made in the 1980s..... I think our history is interesting!”

“My birthday?”

“Yes, you said you're 15 when are turning 16?”

“This is really funny... My birthday is also August 18th....”

“Wow! You share Lefty’s birthday!”

“Well, I'd guess I'm younger than him....” Alec said scratching his nose.

“We can do something for your birthday too! Just because you're a Lonely Freddy now, it doesn’t mean we can't celebrate!”

"I don't know....”

“You only turn 16 once, plus as far as I believe you've never had a birthday here!”

“Well, I honestly don't have a lot of friends to justify it.”

“Why not? You seem like a nice kid,” Helpy said.

“I just... Don't get the chance, I don't talk to people a lot...” That was kind of true, he was notorious for not talking to people unless they started to irritate him, a good thing was the fact he wasn't targeted by bullies but he didn't exactly attract friends, he only had three guys at school who he considered friends.

He was almost certain he shouldn’t tell Helpy about them because they fell into the same crowd as him, so he said: “I use to have a great friend named Oscar but he moved away a couple of years ago after his father died... I've been wondering if I could get in touch with him...”

“Well, that's one of the first things you should do when you go home! Go and contact him! I'm sure he'll want to hear from you!”

When. It was nice Helpy was assuming he would get to go home and resume his life like nothing had happened.

“And hey I'm your friend now! So is Lefty! Lewis could be your friend too!”

“I never thought of that.....” Alec muttered.

“Well, I am! Hey, are you hungry? The pizzeria's closed today so we could go out into the kitchen and maybe we’ll find a pizza for lunch! We just have to watch out for the others and Mr Adams,” Helpy nodded.

“Mr Adams?”

“Our in-store technician, he's working in the back, doing repairs, checking the systems for bugs... We probably won't run into him...” Helpy walked to the door and opened it, Alec followed him outside and they went through the three doors that led them to the backstage area, then outside into the main dining area.

It was quiet.

“Why is it quiet?”

“Mike said some sickness is going around, so we need to start closing a few days a week for now,” Helpy explained, “We’re trialling being closed every second day... Might be good sometimes Lefty gets exhausted particularly on Fridays.”

Helpy and Alec walked around to the kitchen, Helpy looked inside, “Great! No one is here! Let's go!” They both stepped inside.

“Where is everyone?” Alec looked around feeling slightly anxious.

“I know Bonnie's in repair, you know Lefty is deep in research right now, Foxy is probably out the front, Chica is cleaning the party rooms I believe, Freddy is in his room I think, Security might be asleep, The Melodies and Lewis are..... Well, they're not working today so they’re at home today... Hey, we can visit Lewis! His house is close by! We just need to ask Lefty for the key to open the front door! The only thing is that usually, Lefty doesn’t like going out during the day because we could be seen... That's the only condition Mike told us when Lefty was allowed to have the key, he needs to be careful to not be caught outside, and Lefty must always relock the door when he comes back.”

“I see why you can't be caught outside..” Alec nodded knowing the most likely case is if someone saw an 8-foot-tall black bear outside the pizzeria, they would call the police.

Helpy walked over to the fridge, “Oh yes! There's still some leftover pizza dough that Lefty made! Lefty always makes the best pizza! We can put whatever we want on it!” Helpy pulled it out and walked to the kitchen island, no surprise there were steps on the side, so he was able to place it on the bench.

“Do you want anything interesting? I once made a dessert pizza and it was amazing.”

“A dessert pizza?” Alec rose his eyebrow.

“Chocolate and Marshmallows,” Helpy answered.

“Oh....”

“Let’s just have a plain cheese with some oregano...”

“Sounds good!”

Helpy had gathered everything except the oregano.

“I don't understand! It’s supposed to be here with the pepper and chilli powder!” Helpy was frustrated as he looked in the cabinets, he then groaned, “I really don't want to disturb Lefty unless I really need to... Maybe somebody misplaced it?”

Alec and Helpy looked in every cabinet, essentially they worked as a team, searching every place where it could be.

“Oh no don't tell me Pigpatch did it again....” Helpy groaned then stood on his tiptoes.

“Yup, he put the freaking Oregano on top of the fridge again! He knows I can't reach it without asking somebody! He's done it to deliberately annoy me!!”

“I’ve climbed on the fridge before, I can get it...” Alec nodded.

“Sure? Just don't fall... It's not a big fall to a human but to someone as small as you are now, you could break something,” Helpy said.

Alec had climbed into the bench next to the fridge, he used the container of flour next to it as a platform to get closer, he then jumped up and grabbed the edge. Pulling himself up to the top.

“Good job! I wouldn’t have thought to do that!” Helpy nodded.

Alec smiled, then he heard the door open, and looked, his heart dropped, he backed away so he wasn’t seen.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Oh just myself Bonnie!!” Helpy exclaimed, “I’m just saying I did a good job to solve a problem that’s been bugging me!”

“Good for you! Are you making pizza for lunch?”

“Yes, I'm giving some to Lefty.”

“Do you know what's going on with him? He's acting more jumpy than usual, and he was carrying around the book where we keep the names of all the people who visit, he keeps going into his room saying he's got a bad headache or feels sick or something... And Foxy keeps talking about how Lefty has the missing Lonely Freddy in his possession. That's not right, right? He hates them, he use to say they were Nosy, Foxy's saying Lefty is keeping one like as a pet or an experiment,” Bonnie replied.

They noticed Lefty was acting differently.

“No, I don't know...” Helpy lied immediately.

“Something isn't right here, Lefty only does practice at night then says goodnight and leaves... He's been doing it for about a week now...” Bonnie nodded, “Hey don't you usually have oregano?”

“I think Petey put on the fridge to be a jerk to me. I was debating if I should try and climb up there myself.”

“You could hurt yourself, let me grab it...” Bonnie's hand was in Alec's vision and he panicked, he couldn’t get down because Bonnie could catch him and as far as Alec knew, Lefty hadn’t told the others that he existed.

“Oh no! I'll get a chair don't trouble yourself!!!” Helpy exclaimed knowing Alec was in danger of being found.

“No, it doesn’t bother me! I don't want you to hurt yourself if you do it wrong!”

“Bonnie, I can ask Lefty! You just got repaired, go rest!”

Bonnie grabbed Alec's foot, “What's this?”

Alec tried to pull his foot away but Bonnie’s grip was stronger than he expected.

“Bonnie leave it! I can solve this for myself!”

“I got something strange!” Bonnie pulled Alec forward, he froze in terror.

"Bonnie no!!!”

He released him but it was too late.

ꇙꄲꂵꏂ꓄ꁝ꒐ꋊꍌ ꃳꋬ꒯ ꁝꋬꇙ ꁝꋬꉣꉣꏂꋊꏂ꒯.

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[darksaiyangoku]

Ruby Succeeds at Being Sexy Part 1

(This is a spiritual sequel inspired by Mallobaude’s “Ruby Fails at Being Sexy, which he gave me his blessing)

Ruby slumped on the couch and looked at the ceiling. She wasn’t feeling good. Ever since they all arrived in Atlas, Jaune had spending more time with Yang and Blake. What did they have that she didn’t? The more Ruby thought about it, the more it made sense; Yang and Blake were much better looking. This made Ruby even more depressed. Even back at Beacon, she was never the most desired girl in the school. At most, people would call her “cute” or “adorable”. The “sexy” or “hot” status were reserved for girls like her sister, Blake, Weiss, Coco and Velvet. Even Nora started to become more attractive. Granted, she only liked that sort of praise from Ren, but it was still frustrating.

Ruby: (Tch, I can be just as hot as they are. I’ll show them! I’ll show them all!) *sultry smile* (especially Jaune!)

Just then Oscar walked in with some coffee. Weeks after conversing with Ozpin more, Oscar began to take some of his old habits.

Oscar: Hey Ruby.

Ruby: Oscar, do you know where Blake is?

Oscar: Last I checked she was up in her room.

Ruby: Sweet! Thanks Oscar *rushes from the couch*

Oscar: Wait, why do you need Blake? Whatever it is, I can help out!

Ruby: *scratches the back of her head* Um.......... that’s nice of you and all, but this requires more of a woman’s touch.

Oscar: *blushes furiously* Oh. Well......... have fun then?

Ruby: *nervous laughter* See ya. *dashes upstairs*

Oscar: *stares at his mug* I’m gonna need something a LOT stronger than coffee.

Meanwhile, in Blake’s room, she was laying on the bed reading a novel. Her peace and quiet was interrupted when she heard Ruby burst through the door.

Ruby: BLAKE! I NEED YOUR HELP!

Blake: Gah! Ruby! Jeez, you scared me!

Ruby: Never mind that, I just need your help.

Blake: *sighs and puts down book* Alright, but make it quick.

Ruby: *whispers* do you have any sexy outfits I can borrow?

Blake: Sorry, I can’t hear you.

Ruby: *blushing* Do you have any sexy outfits I can borrow?

Blake: *raises eyebrow* Where are you going with this?

Ruby: *sigh* I......... want to show Jaune that I can be sexy.

Blake: ....wow. *smiles* I never expected you to be so bold. The cute, little rose wants to be a sexy goddess.

Ruby: *sighs* Look, if you don’t wanna help me, fine. You don’t have to make fun of me.

Blake: Who said I’m making fun of you? I’d be happy to help.

Ruby: *perks up* Really?

Blake: Sure. Let me see what I got.

Ruby: (Huh, that was a lot easier than I thought)

Blake: *rummaging through her wardrobe and tossing out various outfits* Nope. Uh uh. That won’t do.

Ruby: *glancing at the wardrobe* Uh, Blake?

This went on for several minutes, until Blake finally finds the perfect outfit. It was a black leather corset with matching boots and a short, red miniskirt. Ruby was flustered to say the least.

Blake: Here it is! I was gonna save this for Sun, but you need this more than I do. Good luck!

Ruby: *blushes furiously*

Blake: Ruby? You’re not having second thoughts are you?

Ruby: N-no, it’s not that! I’m just a little nervous. I wanna make sure that everything is perfect.

Blake: *puts hand on Ruby’s shoulder* Don’t worry about it, I was nervous when I started with Sun too. It is a big step, but once you’re ready for it, it is a wonderful experience.

Ruby: *smiles* I am ready. Jaune and I have been dating for a while now, and I really think our relationship could lead to something more. I want to make this a great night for both of us!

Blake: Glad to hear it! Now m, let’s talk about techniques.

Ruby: ....techniques?

Blake: *sultry smile* You didn’t think all it took to be sexy was just putting on a simple outfit was it, did you? There’s more to it than that. Don’t worry, *carresses Ruby’s hand* I’ll make sure you know every little detail.

Ruby: *gulps* (What have I gotten myself into?)

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[camillemontespan]

she wolves [part seven: raspberry]

Part Six if you want to catch up

Warnings: Character death. 

@jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @moonlightgem7 @burnsoslow @ibldw-main @emichelle @katedrakeohd @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @mskaneko @nazariortega @dcbbw @gardeningourmet @iplaydrake @notoriouscs @star-spangled-eyes @rainbowsinthestorm @stopforamoment @pedudley @drakesensworld @pug-bitch  @msjr0119

***********************************************

Kiara

Cordonia is in even more of a limbo now after the passing of Leo. Only Olivia and I know the truth, we know he was murdered in his bed by Madeleine but only Olivia knows how she wants to proceed.

I'm terrified.

You don't cross Olivia Nevrakis unless you have a death wish.

The funeral is today, a few days following the announcement of his passing. As like his younger brother, Leo is given a state funeral and the public come out in droves to pay their respects. He was well loved. Despite the fact he abdicated and left the country to his dictator brother, everyone in Cordonia had hoped the abdicated king would come home and save them.

That was all anyone wanted.

But instead, he came home and now no longer breathes.

He is displayed in an open casket and is drowned in gold military regalia, despite the fact he never served.

Madeleine reaches his coffin and with a tear sliding down her cheek, she presses her hand to his face and audibly whispers, 'I love you.'

Someone give the girl an Oscar.

I watch Drake and Camille approach him next. Drake's features are drawn and I know what he's thinking. Another Rhys brother dead.

Olivia is next. Her posture is ramrod straight and her hair is pulled back into a high ponytail that hangs down her back. She wears a black net over her face. She looks like a regal widower, except she and Leo were never married.

She presses a kiss on Leo's cold lips and everyone in the room gasps. This is her announcement that she loved him. This is Olivia claiming him as hers.

Madeleine

I stare at Olivia, trying to keep my face calm but I know it's not working. She has kissed Leo in front of everyone. Nobody knew about them. Nobody knew about our uneasy arrangement.

She strides down the marble steps and her eyes narrow at me as she passes. She doesn't need words to tell me that she did that deliberately.

I sense people watching me so I flash them a smile and follow the procession out of the room. Cold and unflinching, that is what I have to be.

Olivia

I go back to my room at the palace. I tear my black net away from my face and toss it on the bed. I sit down at my dressing table and look at my reflection in the mirror. I look paler than usual and my eyes even have eyebags from sleepless nights. It's hard to get to sleep when I believe that I can see Leo lying beside me, the ghost of him always around.

I have a plan.

All I need to do is speak to Kiara.

Kiara

My mobile rings. I don't recognise the number so I reject it, going back to watching the news channel about Leo's funeral.

'Olivia kissed him!' one of the hosts says. 'Did you know something was going on with them?'

'I had no idea!' Natalia, the main newsreader, says. 'I do wonder what Madeleine thinks of all this. It was quite a statement..'

My phone rings again. Sighing, I pick up. 'Hello?'

'Fucking hell, Kiara, you're annoying to get hold of.'

It's Olivia.

'Oh! Sorry Olivia, I don't have your number so -'

'Well, know it now!' she says bluntly. 'I need to talk to you.'

I mute the TV and focus on the phone call. I hope its nothing bad.

'I need you to throw a dinner party for the other ladies,' she says. 'Camille, Penelope, Hana and Madeleine. Me too, of course.'

I'm wary. I have never trusted Olivia and I don't plan to start now. She senses my discomfort as she continues to speak. 'Just a dinner party.'

I don't believe her. 'Why?' I challenge. 'Why invite Madeleine of all people? I know you want her blood so why invite her to a dinner party?'

I know she's rolling her eyes. 'Enough with the questions, Kiara -'

But I've had it. I'm tired of being seen as too quiet, too boring, too weak. I need to stand up for myself.

'No, Liv,' I tell her, my voice harsh. 'If you want me to host a dinner party, then you need to tell me why. I need to know what you have up your sleeve.'

'What makes you think I have something up my sleeve?' she asks, her voice like silk.

'Because I know you,' I tell her, my voice steady. 'I know what you're like. You enjoy manipulation and power plays. There's always an agenda with you.'

'Wow, don't beat around the bush,' she drawls. I stay quiet, wanting my silence to speak volumes.

She sighs. 'Kiara, I can't tell you what I have planned. To involve you even more would make you an accomplice.'

My blood runs cold. 'Accomplice?'

'Trust me, you don't want to know. I just need a venue and an innocent excuse to get Madeleine in the room without prompting suspicion.'

I bristle at this new detail. Olivia has given away more than she meant to.

'So this is about Madeleine.'

She is silent.

'Olivia, I'm not getting involved with you and Madeleine -'

'You won't be,' she says. 'All you have to do is let us into your home for one evening and let me do the rest. Nobody will suspect you. Besides, the less you know, the better because then you can rightly say you had no idea of what I'd been planning.'

'Olivia -'

'We can be allies,' she says urgently. She reeks of desperation. 'Me and you. If I don't win the crown then I can support you. Or, if I do win the crown, I will ensure that you are given a role within my council. You can travel around the world, represent Cordonia!'

'Olivia, you're pathetic,' I spit, disgusted with her.

She goes silent. I hear her breath coming out harsh, almost like she's choking.

'I need her gone,' she whispers, her voice cracking. 'I can't have that monster on the throne. She killed Leo. I can imagine she also killed Liam as his room also smelled of vanilla when he was found.'

I can't help but gasp. 'How did you know that?'

'Leo told me,' she mutters. 'The smell of vanilla haunted him afterwards.'

We're both quiet. She is waiting for my answer. I think about Cordonia under Madeleine's rule. She would become power mad. She would be a cold queen, unfeeling.

Olivia may be a terrifying person but I know she is loyal to Cordonia and she does have some sort of emotion. I don't want her to be Queen, clearly, but anything is better than Madeleine. Especially now.

'In interviews, when asked which of your competitors you respect most, you say my name,' I dictate.

'Done,' she says.

I think to myself. 'You stop insulting me and treating me like I'm the shit on your shoe.'

'Done,' she says.

I sigh. 'I'll invite them this weekend.'

'Good,' she says. 'Oh, Kiara?'

'Yes?'

'Don't you fucking dare make me beg again.'

Camille

Drake hasn’t stopped smiling since we found out I’m pregnant. He is practically giddy. We’re going to the hospital today for a dating scan and he helps me into the car even though I don’t need assistance; he’s so eager to be supportive. 

Usually our driver will take us  places but today, Drake insisted on driving us himself. 

‘This is the beginning of the Walker family,’ he told me. ‘I want to be like a normal family, just us and our kid. I want to drive us everywhere, do normal family things, just be Drake and Camille.’

I understand completely. We don’t want any frills or fuss about this; we want to act like a normal couple on our way to a hospital appointment. 

He plays the radio station I like in the car, which is Absolute 90s. He hates 90s music but he’s put it on for me specially because he wants me to be happy. I’m so happy already, nothing can taint this joy I feel inside, but he just keeps trying. He even goes the extra mile and sings along to The Backstreet Boys. ‘Tell me whyyyyy!’ 

I burst out laughing and he grins at me, not caring how cheesy he is being. ‘What? I’m so fucking excited, Camille!’ 

I reach over and hold his hand. He squeezes it gently and I can see the kind of father he will be. Protective, loving, utter goofball.  My marshmallow. 

                    **************************************************************

‘You’re eight weeks along,’ Dr Valentina confirms. ‘So far, the baby is as big as a raspberry.’

Drake presses a kiss on my forehead and whispers, ‘Our little raspberry.’ 

He is so involved. He’s asking the doctor so many questions: ‘What can she eat? What does she have to avoid? Will morning sickness fade? What can I do to help?’

Dr Valentina answers every question and just when she is about to go onto something else, Drake comes up with another question. He is already so in love with our little family and I feel my heart swell as I watch him. 

‘I’ll give you two a moment,’ the doctor tells us and she leaves the room. Drake turns to me and his eyes are crinkled up in the corners because he’s smiling so much. 

I lean over to kiss him softly. When we part, he is still smiling. 

‘I love you,’ I murmur. He reaches out to twirl a lock of my hair around his finger and his eyes roam my face, taking me in. Drake always makes me feel like he’s memorising every detail of me; like I’m not real and will fade away before he can commit my features to memory. 

‘Husband and father joint first, Duke second,’ he says simply. I frown. ‘What do you mean?’

‘My priorities. You and Raspberry are my only priority. Family comes first before everything else.’ He places his hand on my stomach. ‘I’m never going to forget that. You both are everything to me.’ 

I blink back happy tears and place my hand on top of his. ‘So are you. Wife and mother joint first, Duchess second.’ 

We don’t mention the possibility of me becoming Queen. This is not the moment for that. This is our little pocket of normality which is us finding out how far along I am and how tiny our baby is. Nothing else is allowed to disrupt this peace. I just want us to continue being this happy and hopeful for our future together. 

He kisses me hard, a deep, urgent kiss that conveys his absolute devotion. 

‘Family first,’ he whispers. 

         ******************************************************************************

Kiara

That weekend, the other ladies arrive at my home for an elegant dinner. I’ve chosen the finest wines and delicious cheeses for us to enjoy and the dining room is decorated with tall pillar candles. I am trying my best to conceal my nerves over what Olivia has planned. I don’t want to know what she’s doing but I wish I had some sort of idea so I could prepare. 

I assume she’s asked me to host because Madeleine can’t say no. It would be rude and arrogant for her to reject my invitation; if Olivia had invited her, Madeleine would have given her the cold shoulder. 

The other ladies are invited as a cover. Make this look like a dinner party but really, it’s Olivia’s revenge. 

Olivia arrives first. She is wearing her usual red, a long silk red dress with a split up the thigh. Around her thigh is a holster with a dagger encased inside it; purely for show or is she intending to use it?

Around her arm is a ruby cuff that resembles a snake. It twists around her arm and glints in the candle light. 

Camille arrives next. She is wearing an emerald green silk dress, rose gold heels and her hair is pulled up in her signature chignon. She always looks chic and sophisticated, which is a true feat for an American. 

She and Olivia exchange awkward small talk; Camille rejects a glass of wine, instead asking for sparkling water. Our eyes meet and I give her a smile as a sort of silent congratulations.

Soon, everyone is here. Penelope arrived later than everyone which is a surprise as she is usually so prompt but I see her hair is a little dishevelled and she has a pink flush to her cheeks. I look out of the front door and see her driver, Thomas, getting back into the vehicle. I wink at Penelope and she puts her finger to her lips. ‘Shh..’ she whispers, a sneaky smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Madeleine is wearing black. She never wears black but she is acting the part of grieving ex-fiancee so she has to stick to her role. Olivia’s eyes scan her black dress and she gives a harsh laugh, shaking her head in disgust. 

We all sit down at the long table and toast our glasses together. 

‘Any reason why you’re not drinking wine, Camille?’ Madeleine asks. 

Camille keeps her face straight. ‘I just don’t feel like drinking, that’s all.’ 

‘But Kiara always has the best wine,’ Madeleine says, her eyes flashing. ‘It’s rude to reject your host’s efforts.’

Camille’s eyes widen and she looks at me, ready to apologise, but I shake my head. ‘Don’t worry, Camille,’ I say. ‘I’m not offended at all.’ 

She gives me a grateful smile and sips her water. 

‘I think you’re lying,’ Madeleine continues. ‘It’s just us girls. Let’s be honest!’

She is trying to get a rise out of Camille but she forgets that Camille is usually level headed and has been trained by the best to always smile while gritting your teeth. 

‘Well, if you want to start talking about honesty, Madeleine..’ Olivia says, her voice laced with venom. 

Madeleine blinks. ‘Whatever do you mean?’

She blinks again, trying to look like Bambi. Olivia looks like she wants to launch herself across the table at her rival. Instead, she stands up and struts out of the room, her head held high.

Olivia

I pick up my handbag and go into the kitchen. Spotting a servant, I beckon them over.

'Serve this to Madeleine,' I instruct, taking the bottle I've brought with me out of my bag. 'She'll love this wine.'

The servant looks too terrified of me to ask what I'm doing in the kitchen or why I'm handing them this suspicious bottle. This is when being feared becomes a positive thing. People do what you want, no questions asked.

The servant takes the bottle and I turn on my heel back into the hallway. I'm about to re-enter the dining room when a familiar voice behind me stops me in my tracks.

'Hey, trouble.'

I turn slowly to see Leo.

I collapse against the wall. My heart is pounding and my skin breaks out in a sweat. I'm seeing things, I'm definitely seeing things. He is leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed with his lazy smile on his face. He's wearing a white shirt, the top three buttons open, and black trousers. It's what he was wearing when Kiara found him.

I close my eyes, willing him to disappear, and open them again. He's gone.

I turn back towards the dining room but the cold air around me has me frozen and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I hear Leo whisper in my ear, 'Be careful, my love.'

                         ********************************************

Penelope

I'm day dreaming again. I can't help it. Madeleine started insulting Hana and I zoned out, my automatic reaction when it comes to Madeleine and her bitchy comments.

I think about Thomas. He is waiting outside for me in the car, doing his job as my parents ask. But what they don't know is that I was in the back seat with him before I knocked on Kiara's door. I straddled his lap and fucked him hard.

'Now both Rhys brothers are dead, surely there will be an investigation?' Hana asks, breaking into my thoughts.

Madeleine scoffs. 'Investigation into what?'

'Well, they were both found in their beds,' Hana says, her voice sharp. 'Bit suspicious, isn't it?'

'I think Leo would want us to move forward,' Madeleine tells her. 'He wouldn't want us to dwell on the past.'

Olivia comes back into the room and let's out a cold laugh. 'Is that why you're wearing black, Maddie?'

Madeleine's lip curls in contempt. 'Don't call me that.'

Olivia sits down and stares at Madeleine. 'I can call you what I want. Maddie. Mads. Bitch. Desperate. Murderer.'

We all start at this last word.

I see Kiara's eyes widen and she scrambles trying to move the conversation on -'More wine!- but we are all fixated on Olivia's accusation.

Madeleine looks like a fish out of water. 'Don't call me that.'

Olivia raises an eyebrow. 'What? Which word? Desperate? Murderer?'

'WINE!' Kiara calls out. The servants come rushing in with a tray of glasses filled with wine and set them out in front of us. Camille rejects hers and picks up her glass of water.

Kiara

I need this to calm down but I know that Olivia and Madeleine are too far gone. I didn't expect Olivia to call out Madeleine with such an accusation. I curse myself. Usually, I'm good at reading people and situations. I should have expected this to blow up. Why else did Olivia want to invite her?

Olivia picks up her glass to do a toast. Everyone follows suit, too scared to say anything.

'To Leo,' Olivia says. 'May he rest in peace.'

We all say, 'To Leo,' except Madeleine who tosses her wine down her throat.

Olivia stares at Madeleine with a look of pure hatred and something else etched on her face before speaking.

'May he rest knowing he hasn't died in vain.'

Hana

Madeleine's face turns purple. Literally purple.

'Um, guys..' I say, pointing at her. 'Madeleine.'

Madeleine begins to choke and she brings her hand around her neck, spluttering and coughing. 'Help..' she croaks.

'Nobody can help you now,' Olivia tells her, sipping more of her wine.

I turn to her. 'Olivia, what have you done?'

She shrugs. 'What I should have done ages ago.'

I look at Kiara who has gone white. I see everyone around this table has gone white.

'We have to do something!' I scream. I forget that I hate Madeleine and she makes me feel like shit. Her life is at stake, she is choking.

I get up to help. Camille is on her feet also, shaking, and we are all shouting at once, panicking while Madeleine chokes some more.

She falls to the floor.

'Oh god, oh god!' Camille shouts, rushing over to get on her knees. 'Do I roll her over?! She'll choke on her back -'

'She's choking anyway,' Olivia drawls. 'She'll be dead in a minute.'

Madeleine's fingernails claw at the floor and a horrible sound emits from her throat. Tears are pouring down my face as I get down beside Camille, who has rolled Madeleine onto her side.

Kiara is screaming at Olivia.

'This was your plan?! You were going to poison her?!'

'Yes, this was my plan,' Olivia replies. 'Deal with it.'

Kiara

I'm furious. I knew Olivia was planning something but not this. I didn't expect poison. I didn't expect to see Madeleine fighting for her life.

'I thought you would only make her tell the truth, not poison her!' I scream, unable to calm down. 'You're just as bad as she is!'

'How do you know she murdered Leo?' Penelope bursts out. She's holding onto the edge of the table, tears falling down her cheeks. 'What proof do you have?'

Olivia whips around to speak but is interrupted by Hana.

'She's dead.'

We all look down at Madeleine who is lying still. Foam has frothed at her mouth and her eyes are open and like glass.

Camille has pressed her hands against her mouth, stifling sobs. 'Oh no.. Oh no..' she whispers.

Her hands then go down to her stomach and she turns on Olivia.

'I'm pregnant!' she screams. 'What if that drink had been given to me?!'

'You've been rejecting wine all evening, it's fine,' Olivia says, rolling her eyes. 'You wouldn't have been killed accidentally.'

Camille's breath comes out shallow. She looks like she's going to pass out.

Hana's eyes narrow at Olivia. 'If you're right and she killed Leo, you're just as bad as she is.'

Olivia is on her feet now. 'I know she did because she was the last person he saw the night before he died! The room smelled of vanilla which is HER scent! You know what other room smelled of vanilla? LIAM'S! She killed both of them in cold blood! She needed to be stopped!'

'You didn't have to kill her!' Penelope shrieks, joining in. 'You could have reported her to the police, got her investigated! But no, instead you had to be typical Olivia and resort to violence!'

'Oh, do shut up Penelope,' Olivia droans. 'It's done.'

'Why did you involve us?' Hana asks. 'We can just go to the police and tell them what you have done.'

We all look at Olivia who's face is hard to read. But I know that she doesn't feel remorse.

'If you go to the police,' she says, 'you'll have a similar fate to that murderer at our feet.'

'You're disgusting,' Camille chokes out. 'You're not even human.'

Olivia's eyes flash.

'I did what I had to do. Accept it.'

[preface2adreamplay]

Under Your Spell (Part 11) - Surrender

Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC/Oscar Isaac fiction.

Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her.

Her ex, Oscar isn’t sure what to make of her new relationship. Should he step in or leave her be?

(For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

Chapter WC: 2,510

‘And what was the inspiration for this new album, because it seems a far cry from your previous work.’ The DJ had been kind so far. She had spoken to him a dozen times over the phone but this was the first time she had met him in person. Sitting in the small studio, headphones set on ‘small’ but still too big for her head, digging into her ears uncomfortably. 

‘Yeah, it’s definitely a heavier sound. Lyrically, it’s not all too far from the last album. As you grow a little older you learn so much about yourself. This time around I looked back at everything that has happened. I’m a single woman living alone now.’ ‘Happily,’ she interjected as the DJ tried to exclaim his disbelief. 

‘I’m happily living by myself WITH myself, I suppose. You know the human in you will always have something to pine for from your past.’

‘So you’re saying a happier person wrote these lyrics?’ He held the album up for her to see. 

‘Oddly, yeah. No matter how happy we are in life, there is always a niggle there, something will be tugging on your sleeve you know?’

‘I get you. For those that don’t know, I’m talking to Stefanie James, who's new album dropped this week and it is sha-mazing.’

Stef laughed. ‘Never has anyone described it like that, thank you.’ They laughed together for a moment before he started taking questions sent by text. 

‘We have one here about your next video, it’s coming out today?’

‘Yes, the second part to Walk Into The Fire.’

‘Aptly named Twin Flames,’ he explained for listeners.

Stef reminded herself not just to nod, but agree verbally. 

‘Well, this person is asking if the man/demon in the video is who we think it is?’

Stef groaned, ‘it’s not even out yet and people know who it is.’

‘Jared Padalecki, of Supernatural fame.’ The DJ announced. It was ok at this stage. The label wanted the information out there.

Stef agreed with a simple ‘mmhm.’

‘So how did that come about then? The listeners are dying to know.’

‘He heard I was doing a video through some people I had worked with previously.’

‘Oh so he was a fan?’

‘He was, actually. So he got in touch with my people to see if he could be involved.’

‘How did he hear about it, like how would that come up in a conversation.’

Stef laughed, she loved talking about Jared. ‘We were looking for someone ‘large and imposing’ the idea being that he is a part of me that I’m running away from.

‘He is large and imposing.’ The DJ agreed.

‘But a hell of a nice guy. We have become good friends since, he’s truly a great person. He came out to a show with his friends when we were in Texas.’

‘I can’t wait to see the new video, we are going to play Twin Flames now.’

As the song played on in the background, Stef checked her phone that had been buzzing away in her pocket.

Jared: Hey you’re on the radio, I’m listening

Stef: Stalker.

Jared: Am not…:) You’re talking about ME, I gotta hear how great I am.

P.S. New song is great. 

‘Is that Jared texting you right now?’ The DJ mused when the song finished.

‘Yes, he said he loves hearing about how great he is.’

‘Another listener asks if he’s a good kisser?’

Stef swallowed, ‘wtf?’ she thought, then flushed, realising the new video trailer had a flash of them pretending to make out.

‘Oh God, that wasn’t a kiss.’ She blushed furiously.

‘So you don’t know is the answer.’

‘Yeah I don’t know,’ she lied. ‘Probably, if he looks like that he’s gotta be a great kisser.’

‘That’s your final answer.’

‘Yes.’ 

‘So back to you, coz never mind about that hunk, you are in the hot seat right now. What are your hopes for the new albums. Who would you like to touch with it?’

Stef snorted a laugh, ‘who would I physically touch with it?’

‘Yes, who would you assault with the new album.’ 

‘Ok, if I could, I would give my drummer Evan a paper cut with the booklet because he has been posting awful pictures of me all through this tour on social media.’

‘I saw!’ The DJ exclaimed. ‘You with how many sausages in your mouth?’

‘Oh god, that was a dare, I can’t trust those guys.’

‘And I suppose I would touch Jared nicely with it. Since he was such a good sport with the videos we shot. I can think of lots of people I could touch with the new album, but we don’t have all day.’

‘A text just came in to say ‘your lyrics have saved me.’ What do you think of that?’

Stef raised her eyebrows, ‘uhhhhhh, I would say I’m glad. It’s a wonderful feeling when you put on paper your thoughts and people like it and people FEEL what you feel, you know? Showing vulnerability and emotion is a strength and that’s what I’ve always wanted to tell people with my music.’

‘Preach it sister. We will all be praying at Church Stefanie by the looks of this new artwork. For the people at home who can’t see what I’m holding, it’s the lovely Stef in what looks like a bespoke headdress covering almost half of her face and a wonderful flowing gown, surrounded by what looks like druids? Is that right?’

‘I dunno,’ Stef replied ‘people standing around me summoning the gods of good music, hoping they throw me a bone.’

‘Well it looks great, thanks for coming in.’

‘Thanks for having me.’

Jared: Stop talking about me.

Stef: I will and you won’t like it.

Jared: True. You having fun?

Stef: Lots. 

Jared: Where the fuck are you right now anyway?

Stef: New York. 

Jared: You gonna wear that dress for the show tonight? 

Stef: Nah, I’m wearing something smaller and tighter.

A short video came through from Jared rubbing his nipples through his shirt, pretending to orgasm.

Stef sent one back of her licking her lips. 

Jared: I miss your stoopid face

Stef: I’ll be home before you know it.

Realising that ‘home’ was 2,000 miles away from where he lived with his family gave her pause. She was in New York, where Oscar was currently living. Jared lived closer to her than Oscar did and both were what felt like a million miles away.

Sitting in the hotel lobby by herself, she decided to order a G&T. There wasn’t anyone else in the bar, so she curled up in a comfortable armchair away from the world. It got her thinking about how far away she was from everybody. Her parents had passed and she wasn’t close to any other family. She and Oscar had wanted to live in Canada, living in their own world surrounded by trees and mountains. It seemed perfect when they were younger. Then everything went to shit. Stef found him with another woman just as his acting career was taking off, so she kicked him out. 

Finding the perfect home for her and Darius far enough away from everything she had grown up with, in a different country, leaving Oscar behind. Now Darius was gone too. 

She lay her head back on the chair and sniffed, feeling a little alone. Grateful for everything she had, she was happy. But something was missing. 

Stef never allowed her to think of herself as one part, she never felt like someones ‘other half.’ She was complete as herself. 

Being with Jared was raising a lot of emotions she had kept hidden for a long time. It would be typical of her to rip them out root and stem as soon as they dared peek out of the soil. 

Her phone beeped, making her jump a little. ‘Get a grip, Stef.’ She mumbled.

Jared: I wanna see you soon. Do you think we can be in the same place at the same time in the next few days?

Stef sighed heavily, sending him on a list of all the towns she would be in within the next week.

‘Drinking early?’ 

Stef looked up from her phone to see Oscar standing over her, a smile on his face.

‘Oscar! What the hell are you doing here?’

‘You’re in New York and you don’t want to spend every minute of it with me? I’m upset!’ He pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in the tightest hug he could manage. 

It was exactly what she needed, she clung to him. 

‘You ok? I thought I’d surprise you.’

‘It’s a great surprise.’ Stef assured him, slapping the peak of his cap over his face. 

‘Stop it, woman. Two seconds and already you’re making me regret coming here.’

‘Lies.’

‘Yeah, whatever.’

Oscar came back from the bar with quite a large beer for himself and another G&T for Stef.

‘Cheers to you and your success.’ They clinked glasses and drank, each keeping an eye on the other.

‘What’s new?’ He asked, still eyeing her curiously.

‘Nothing since the last time I saw you.’ She sipped the ice cold drink, shivering slightly.

‘You could say nothing new since the last time we spoke. Everything has changed since the last time we saw each other.’ Oscar leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs in front of him.

Smug bastard, Stef thought, shaking her head at him. Sure, the last time they met, they slept together for the first time in years and they hadn’t mentioned it since. 

‘Well then, I don’t want to talk about it.’

Oscar sniffed. ‘Fine.’

‘I listened to your interview.’ He said softly, chewing his lip.

‘I’ve done so many over the last month, I’m afraid I’m starting to sound like a robot.’

‘Nah, you wouldn’t, you ramble too much.’

‘Do not!’ Stef shot him a look, he grinned in reply.

The following silence was interrupted by her phone notifications.

Jared: None of those work for me, how about I fly out to New York to meet you?

Stef replied frantically ‘Wow when can you come?’

Typing typing

‘Earth to Stef.’

‘Sorry, what?’

‘Jesus, you are completely in love, aren’t you?’ He half sneered, half laughed.

‘No. I’m not.’ Stef felt herself getting angry. ‘I hate it when you smirk at me like that. Stop it.’

Oscar sighed heavily. ‘Sorry. Alright? Can we just have a nice evening. As friends.’

‘Sure.’ Stef said, eyeing her phone to see what Jared replied.

Jared: I come every time you touch my penis.

‘Oh for fuck sakes.’ 

Oscar frowned at her but didn’t say anything

Jared: I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon. 

Stef: Can’t wait.

Her stomach flipped in excitement, feeling her palms getting a little sweaty, she rubbed them down her legs, leaning over and placing her head between her knees. Oscar leaned over the gap between them and placed a hand gently on the back of her head.

‘You ok, Effie? Sorry if I’m talking out of turn. I don’t mean to.’

‘It’s not you.’ Her response muffled.

Toying with the clasp of her necklace, he didn’t say anything else. If she wanted to share, she would. He could never force anything from her. She gave what she wanted to give. 

‘You hungry? I have a nice place booked for dinner later, you’ll love it.’ Oscar settled back in his seat.

‘I’m so hungry.’ 

‘You been eating ok on the road?’ 

She looked up at him, into those big brown eyes she had loved so much, almost a lifetime ago.

‘No. It’s awful. Every time I go on tour I remember why I don’t like it.’

‘Yeah, but every time you do it you get more famous, eventually you’ll be flying in a private jet.’ 

‘Oh I hope not!’ She scoffed, feeling her mood rising again. ‘I’d hate to be as famous as you,’ Reaching up she took the cap off his head in a swift movement, putting it on her own head.

‘You didn’t shave off your hair!’ 

‘Nah, I didn’t want to piss you off. I seem to be walking a fine line lately.’

Stef decided not to let him bait her, she just flicked the cap down over her eyes and continued sipping her drink. 

‘So...Darius sent me a picture earlier.’ Oscar pulled his phone from his pocket, flicking through his gallery, showing her a selfie of a very pretty girl with her son. 

‘Holy shit, is that...’

‘The lovely girl from the party? Yep, she’s his girlfriend now.’

‘That’s so cute,’ Stef started chewing her lip. ‘You did tell him not to make us grandparents, right? I still have a lot of good-boob years to use up before I can be called Grandma.’

Oscar started laughing, seeing the look on her face was priceless. ‘Don’t worry about it, if we are grandparents, so what, it’ll be great.’

‘Would it? You want more children running around? We only got rid of ours.’ 

Oscar nodded, ‘I’d love more kids.’

‘Really? Stef blinked, surprised. 

‘Yeah. But I’m not gonna worry about it. If it happens it happens.’

‘Twenty years after the last one, that’ll be a shock to the system.’ Stef drained her glass, feeling the alcohol going to her head.

‘Are you fit for another?’ He pointed at her empty glass.

‘Go on then, I’ll let you spoil me for an evening.’

Oscar walked to the bar to order the drinks, turning his head to watch her over his shoulder. She was smiling down at her phone, texting Jared. He wondered if she ever smiled like that when she text him. 

He thought back to Darius’s party, after they had danced together. Oscar couldn’t help but look at Stef and wonder what their life would be like now if he hadn’t fallen into the grip of the other woman. Darius clapped him on the back to get his attention. He was taller than Oscar by a few inches, it was strange for him to look up at him rather than look down. His eyes were like his mothers, but the rest of him was Oscar.

‘Dad, did you ever think of asking mom out?’ 

Oscar opened his mouth and closed it again, feeling like a fish trying to gulp water on dry land. 

‘Ask her out? Why?’ He asked, feeling sheepish.

‘If I were looking at a girl like that, I’d ask her out.’ 

‘Yeah but it’s your mom, we aren’t together anymore.’

‘I know, idiot. You two look at each other when you think the other isn’t looking. It’s stupid. Get over it and ask her out. I won’t even be weird about it.’

Oscar nodded, thinking that maybe she would say yes. 

Looking at her now, there wasn’t a chance in hell. Not since Jared had wormed his way into her life. 

He hadn’t seen Stef happy like this in a long time, he made his choice to just be happy for her.

CHAPTER 12

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

279: 15 Life Lessons Learned during my First Year into my 40s

True contentedness is unremarkable to the outside world, or passerby.

Typing away in my cozy chair in the living room in my line of sight Norman eats his breakfast and Oscar acknowledging he will not be able to sneak a bite, takes a long cool drink of water. The croissant for my Sunday morning ritual is proofing in the oven and Sunday Baroque's weekly program fills my home.

Even having lost an hour of the day, I have decided to wake up with the sunset and use the dawn-filled hour to work early before we are able to go for our morning stroll in the woods. All is well, and so much surrounds me for which to be grateful.

I began the morning reading Maria Shriver's weekly email newsletter, and in particular this morning's letter resonated with me, and most likely would you as well as a reader of TSLL. I've included an excerpt below as she describes a moment in which she felt, albeit unexpectedly, truly and sincerely content.

"Over the last few years, I’ve settled into myself. I’ve focused more on my blessings and what I’m doing well rather than my shortcomings and what needs to be adjusted (something I highly recommend). As a result, everything in my mind has calmed down, and therefore my body has calmed down, too.  Today, my life finally feels centered, grounded, and solid. I feel like I’ve found my space and my place.

It was one of those profoundly simple, yet headshaking, moments of self-realization that no one ever really talks about. Sure, there are still things in life that give me anxiety (the coronavirus, the election, and Mother Nature as our neighbors in Nashville know all too well). But, through it all, I’ve been able to find my inner fortitude and soothe myself, something I’ve struggled with my entire life.

The truth is I never expected that the peace, joy or success that I chased my whole life would come to me when I was sitting alone, drinking coffee on my porch. I thought I was supposed to find that while giving speeches, accepting awards, and galvanizing change. That’s what our culture teaches us. It’s what infused into our beings at a very young age."

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that on this International Women’s Day, I’m a woman on my own path. I’m living my one wild, precious, joyful and meaningful life. In the end, my friends, that’s what galvanizes true change. Watching, witnessing and being in community with people who are following their authentic paths is what changes the world one breath at a time. I thought of that every time I washed my hands this week and it made me smile.

So, follow your heart personally, professionally, and politically. Because, when you do, you will discover the feeling I felt the other morning. You will find yourself saying to no one in particular, “Wow, I’m good just the way I am.” —Maria Shriver in her 3/8/2020 letter from the editor of The Sunday Paper newsletter

I realize the excerpt above was long, but hopefully, as it did me, it reassured as to what living well truly is. It's simple and intentional. It's internal and individual. It is purpose driven and intangible. It is also experiential and tactile. It requires of us to be present to be engaged with our world acknowledging much needs us to let go, but so too must we stay involved and aware. It is the daily practice of elevating our daily life by how we walk and open our eyes and minds to all that is around us and that is possible.

Each year when my birthday rolls around, here on the blog, I share a reflection of some sort of life lessons, aha moments and discoveries about the world found along my journey. To share, as well, admittedly, as a way to preserve my own growth, my hope is to prompt introspection amongst readers as sometimes, maybe even often, we do not realize all ways in which we have grown as it can sometimes be hard to see when we are the ones walking through the world each day.

I have yet to share my life lessons for my 41st birthday which fell during the final week of February, so I wanted to take today's episode/post to reflect.

1.Dreams, hopes, wishes can indeed materialize so long as we never let them go, we keep making small, yet steady progress, and keep refusing to not believe it can happen.

2. Clear, respectful, honest communication is to be treasured and a necessary ingredient for healthy relationship of all types.

3. Setting personal boundaries is a reflection of your recognition of your innate self-worth which will cause your self-esteem to grow.

4. Giving yourself closure on the past is healthy and necessary for being able to fully move forward. Your closure need not make sense to anyone else but yourself, but give yourself this gift of freedom.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2aF0dpArA7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

5. Some friends, family and/or colleagues may not be able to travel with you into your next life chapter as you choose to grow and evolve or your life simply asks of you to travel a different way or in a different way. Letting go need not be dramatic or radical or even known, but rather a natural going about life's path perhaps to meet again at some other time or maybe not. And that is okay and healthy as it shows awareness of the social support that you need to be well.

6. Give yourself permission to be excited about your life journey, your everyday moments and just be giddy. Let your endorphins soar naturally and see your daily life experience improve as well.

7. Say yes to opportunities that cross your path but out of schedule with when you had hoped they might arrive. My trip to Paris and Normandy was not expected nor planned. In fact, I had told myself I would take at least a year off before returning to Paris since my trip in 2018; however, when an invitation arrived to return in 2019, I had to say yes, and all that I learned, experienced, savored and learned some more was more than evidence that I made the right decision.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzbTLLVg2zl/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

8. Less truly can bring more into your life. The unexpected discovery of my now home and sanctuary which is half the size of the home I owned previously is precisely what I instinctively knew I needed to live well. Less to decorate, but what I choose can be investments that will last. Less to clean, so I have more time to explore and create on the weekends, a perfectly medium size yard and petite garden, but exactly what I enjoy to have Mother Nature at my fingertips without a requirement of more time than I can give.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5qY6P5giC9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

9. Mother Nature, moving my feet in Mother Nature, is my creative muse and her gifts are priceless. While I walk nearly everyday outside on the trails in Bend or near the river that runs through Bend, even walking in San Francisco when I needed to get outside, I did so and saw the famed parrots of the Telescope Hill, and oh what a delight. Inspiration is everywhere when we step out into the fresh air.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5gCmyiAqRb/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

10. My dogs have been for the past 15 years and are my companions in this journey of my life as they let me be "Shannon", provide company as well as freedom, yet keep me grounded as well. Savoring every moment with my two elder gentlemen.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6y1EUage_B/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

11. Cooking, creating in the kitchen, is to play and forever be learning and savoring everyday moments.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2r3OEjApER/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

12. Love really does live on inside you even after someone dearly loved passes away.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B4nBcJVgAj_/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

13. Host that dinner party you've been wanting to have. You may just bring beautiful moments and new connections to your guests that they will appreciate more than you will ever know. (read: 10 Ideas Gleaned & Confirmed from my Last Dinner Party, and be sure to check out my first book for details and a menus for hosting a successful gathering.)

https://www.instagram.com/p/By08-OWAsos/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

14. Traveling with my mom created memories of getting to know each other as where we are now in our lives and wonderful shared experiences that I will never forget. Check out our trip to San Francisco. We also had the opportunity to go to Oregon's Garden which exceeded my expectations and opened my eyes even further to my mom's love and knowledge of "green-thumb" life.

https://www.instagram.com/p/By4ciypgFcu/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxVse9XA71H/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

15. Continue to follow your heart, its inklings, its tugs, its curiosities, and you will never be led astray. Even when it doesn't make sense to you, even when you do not have a model to forge the path before you traverse it, your insurance is that it is your heart leading the way. I am reminded of Julia Child's quote which she expressed on the penultimate and onto the final page of her memoir My Life in France.

"In Paris in the 1950s, I had the supreme good fortune to study with a remarkably able group of chefs. From them I learned why good French food is an art, and why it makes such sublime eating: nothing is too much trouble if it turns out the way it should. Good results require that one take time and care. If one doesn't use the freshest ingredients or read the whole recipe before starting, and if one rushes through the cooking, the result will be an inferior taste and texture . . . But a careful approach will result in a magnificent burst of flavor, a thoroughly satisfying meal, perhaps even a life-changing experience." —Julia Child

While Julia is directly speaking of her experience in the culinary world of Paris, she indirectly and perhaps most significantly speaks to how to live life well. Invest, have patience, do your homework, and trust the co-mingling of those who know more than you about topics which you love as well as your own passions and curiosities. Beautiful art, the art of life, your life, can materialize in its own time and in its own unique way.

May this birthday year offer insightful and inspired life lessons that elevate the quality of your everyday life even more and bring you all the more contentment, true contentment that you desire.

Petit Plaisir

~Dishing with Julia Child

~A Year in Flowers: Designing Gorgeous Arrangements for Every Season by Erin Benzakein

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[fresh-outta-jams]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Part 7

Namjoon x Reader Author: Admin Mo Summary: When your soulmate tattoo shows up, an address, you figure it can’t hurt to send a letter, right? Warnings: Some swears, soulmate fluff Word Count: 2.1k

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, Epilogue

Namjoon’s letter arrived a few days after your first video call. You read it with a grin. You’d just got back from your classes. Any minute, your phone would ring with your daily call from Namjoon, as soon as he woke up, which meant you got to hear his husky morning voice and see his beautiful bare face.

The sudden buzzing sent your heart racing, and as quickly as your fingers would allow, you picked up the phone.

“You thought I would hate you for being RM?” You asked without so much as a greeting.

“Well good morning to you, too.” Namjoon chuckled. “Got my letter, huh?”

“You’re dodging the question.”

He let out a sleepy sigh that turned into a yawn. You watched the way it stretched his features, his eyes squeezing shut. God, he was so cute sometimes…

“So maybe I was a little afraid you would hate me. But can you blame me? You’re literally the coolest person on the planet, it’s no wonder you took it in stride. Anyone else...someone who had been an ARMY for a while, maybe…”

“I get it. That’s scary.” You nodded, setting him at ease. You weren’t mad at him for being afraid. You didn’t think you had it in you to be mad at him for that. “But, everything happens for a reason. There’s a reason I didn’t hear about BTS until recently. Thanks for the song recommendations, by the way, you dork.”

“Any time, darling.” He grinned. Your heart took a little leap forward. Until recently, pet names were sort of uncharted territory, they still were. So even this little one made in jest was enough to get your blood pumping. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Not much. I already finished classes, so I’ll probably just spend the rest of the night writing your letter.”

“Time zones…” Namjoon lamented. It did look a little dark outside your window…

“Time zones.” You agreed. “You’re living in the future, Joon. Your today is my tomorrow.”

“That’s deep.” He chuckled. “I sent out your Christmas present the other day. I was hoping you and I could do a video call and open them together once they both come in.”

“That’d be perfect. I sent yours out too, so it should be on the way there, but the US Postal Service is weird, so it might not get to you for a while.”

“I’m patient.”

“Good thing, too, or this whole thing wouldn’t have worked out.” You laughed, and so did he. Even though you had only been in immediate contact for a little while now, you couldn’t imagine going back to a world where you barely knew what he looked like. Now, however, you had an abundance of information about him ready at your fingertips.

“Hyunggggg,” whined a voice beside Namjoon. He continued saying something in Korean that you didn’t understand.

“It’s not my fault you stay up late playing video games.”

Oh, that must have been Namjoon’s roommate, Tae, you figured, upset that Namjoon was up so early making noise.

“Sorry about him. What were you saying?”

“It’s fine, Namjoon. Tell Tae I’m sorry for waking him up.”

“It’s okay, (Y/N)...” Tae mumbled from the next bed over, shifting and turning away from their fearless leader.

“So I’ve been watching all of your old music videos.” You grinned at the way his face paled, eyes widening. “It’s kind of fun watching little teenage Namjoon. You were what, like eighteen when you debuted?”

“Jeez, something like that, yeah. Ugh that’s so embarrassing.”

“You were still fine as hell, though.” Your face scrunched as you thought. “Well, after the mini-afro, maybe.”

Namjoon shook his head, making a noise of disbelief. “I still can’t get over the fact that you actually find me attractive.”

“Okay, but I’m not the only one, though. There are entire Facebook pages dedicated to your dimples. I joined like three of them the other day.”

“That’s ridiculous.” He laughed, showing them off. You swore, you almost swooned at the sight. “I’m really not that attractive.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re kidding me. Namjoon...I don’t know how to express this in words. You are the hottest human being I’ve ever laid my eyes on. When you’re performing, there’s just this leader energy about you and it is so sexy. And then there are those videos of you at fansigns and you are so frickin cute. I don’t even know what to do with you. You’re not allowed to be that cute and that hot simultaneously. It’s not fair.”

By the time you finished, your soulmate resembled a very flustered tomato, covering his eyes with his long fingers. “Stop…”

“Not until you realize how fine you are. I could go on and on about how much I like the way you’ve been parting your hair lately or how gorgeous you always look, even in the mornings like this when you don’t have makeup on and-”

“Okay, okay, I get it. It’s just...hard to believe things like that when it’s a literal goddess telling me.”

“Oh hush. I’m not-”

“You are. You are so, so gorgeous. All I can think about is kissing your perfect lips and running my fingers through your pink hair.” It was your turn to blush. “I seriously…” he huffed. “I really just need you in my life. I need to hold you. Like. Now. I need to hold you now. I think I’m going to die of (Y/N) deficiency at this rate.”

“Cheesy-ass dork.” You snickered, shaking your head.

Someone knocked on Namjoon’s door. When he looked up, Yoongi was coming through. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Thanks, hyung. We’ll be out in a second.” Namjoon told the shortest rapper, who nodded and left as quickly as he’d come. Namjoon looked at you, a longing look in his eyes. “I’ve gotta go, baby. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good...right, it’s not morning there. Have a good night. Text me if anything interesting happens.”

“Will do. Have a good day, Joonie.”

And then you hung up, that familiar warm, yet empty feeling settling over your heart. You clicked your pen a few times, looking over the paper sitting in front of you. Recently, you’d purchased some nicer stationary with little crabs and seashells on them. You had yet to send Namjoon one of them, but you figured the purchase would encourage you to write fewer rough drafts.

You lowered the tip of the pen to the paper and the words started flowing.

***

“Dear Namjoon,

I had a very similar dream to yours. I was wrapped up in one of your sweaters. The sleeves hung past my fingers and I was baking Christmas cookies. And then you walked into the kitchen and I woke up. I’ve been trying to get back to that dream, though. It does, however, make me feel a lot better that it won’t stay a dream forever.

As you can see, I have enclosed a picture of myself from a Christmas party last year, something festive to make my Halloween picture a little less lonely. I expect a picture in return, as agreed upon.

I cannot wait to read your book. Send it whenever you’re ready for me to read it. As soon as I get off for break, I’ll have a bunch of time on my hands to work on it. Do you want edits or just feedback? I can do either. Or both. Whatever floats your boat. Ending books isn’t easy. It’s actually really hard. I think the key is to close the doors that make sense to, and leave the rest open. That way, there’s room for a sequel. It helps to read through everything again and make sure you didn’t leave any storylines hanging.

Also, after reading your letter and talking to you face to face every day since the first time, I can’t believe you were so nervous to tell me who you are. I mean, I can believe it. I get it. It’s tricky. You’re a worldwide superstar, a rising American heartthrob, if you will. I’m just a film student with no idea what she’s going to do with the rest of her life. Meanwhile, you’re filming music videos the likes of which I couldn’t even dream of creating. Spring Day’s MV seriously made me cry. The cinematography in it is so beautiful. The lighting, the colors, the song, your face...it seriously blew me away. Not to mention all of your other MVs.

I also watched some of JK’s Golden Closet Films, and I’d just like to ask: HOW? How does this boi...this BOI with no formal film education churn out something as beautiful as he always seems to? The editing, the skill, I just...wow. If you could ask him for some tips for me, I would be super grateful.

Talk to you soon,

-(Y/N)”

***

“Dear (Y/N),

I don’t think you were baking Christmas cookies in my dream. I don’t really remember all of the details. I’ve been trying to get back to it for the past few weeks, but I can’t seem to, unfortunately. I’ll keep you posted, though.

You should have warned me that you were going to send me the cutest picture on the whole planet. I love your Rudolph sweater. Does the nose light up? Also, is that your natural hair color??? You said you’d never had any crazy colors before pink, but I guess that doesn’t really apply to colors that could be deemed ‘natural’.

I have also attached a picture of myself. It was really hard to find one of me that isn’t already online, so I asked the other members for help and they managed to dig up that one that they had been saving to use for my birthday this year, but forgot. Consider it a sneak peek.

As far as my book-to-be goes, I would love edits and feedback. Really, whatever you think needs to be fixed, I will do it without a second question. After so many NaNoWriMos, you have to be a pro, right? I’ll email it to you. Mine is namjoon94@naver.com.

I think you forget that I’ve seen one of your film projects. I have. And it made my cry uncontrollably. It was beautiful and heart-wrenching and every other emotion I can think of. Though, to be fair, I didn’t have much to do with the production of the video. That would be our director, who has tons of experience in the field. All you need is time and then you’ll be cranking out masterpiece after masterpiece. That Oscar is right around the corner, baby, just you wait.

I asked Jungkook for some tips for you, and he said the key is to just keep playing with things until you like how they look. Play with the colors, the music, the speed, the cropping, whatever you want. Granted, he basically grew up in this industry, so it’s no wonder he’s so good at it.

I can’t believe Christmas is coming up so soon. Your last letter put me in a cookie mood, so if I put on weight because of it, I’m blaming you. Jin’s been trying out some recipes at my suggestion, and they’re all really good. His only request was that I stay the hell away from the kitchen. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m clumsy as fuck and I break and/or burn everything I touch. You have that to look forward to. Sorry jagiya.

Hope to hear from you soon,

-Namjoon”

***

Snow drifted down, covering your little city in white fluff, truly transforming it into a winter wonderland. Namjoon’s latest letter was between your fingers as you read it by the fireplace, a mug of cocoa sitting on the table beside you. At long, long last, you were home for Christmas. He’d told you in your phone call about a week ago that his tattoo had changed, and you’d had a mini heart attack before he read off the new one, only for you to discover it was your home address, where your parents lived.

So, you sat there, as cozy as you had been in a long, long time, wrapped in the softest sweater you owned, a warm blanket draped over your legs. Every once in a while, you would look up and imagine what it would be like to see Namjoon’s tall figure leaning against the doorframe to the den, mistletoe hanging over his head. Everything would be better if he was there, you decided. And yet, because of the miles and miles and miles stretched between you, you’d have to remain separate for at least a little while longer.

Your thoughts were only pulled from your warm thoughts of Namjoon when there was a knock at the door. When you opened it, it was all of your friends standing outside in the snow, wearing the ugliest Christmas sweaters they could find. You let them in with warm hugs and well-wishes.

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

You smiled. “Merry Christmas...”

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