#so now it feels like befriending my lab partner was a mistake

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[deanstop13billyjoeltraxx]

Superposition

a deancas college roommate au :)

Chapter 8 is up on AO3! Chapter-by-chapter masterlist here. 

CW: mentions of verbal abuse, homophobia, alcoholism, jail time. instances of smoking. 

some notes: I usually go through and italicize as necessary when I’m posting on tumblr because it doesn’t copy over from my og text, but this chapter is like 6200 words and i’m just not gonna do that. recommend reading on AO3 for the best experience!!

An Exercise in Futility

Three Years Earlier

Castiel was convinced that his life was one massive, cosmic joke.

He’d been considering the possibility for some time. Being the gay son of a homophobic pastor does that to a person. When he discovered, sometime around the age of twelve, that the girls in his Sunday school class were far less interesting than the boys, he could practically feel God laughing at him. Then there was high school, where the religious prattling was replaced by what felt like endless torment at the hands of his peers. 

He felt like college was quickly becoming the third punchline.

Not that things were bad. Things were good, actually, better than they’d been in years. He was learning about things he cared about. He passed his midterms with flying colors. He even had friends. He spent a weekend watching all of the Lord of the Rings with Charlie. He had switched seats in accounting to sit next to Meg.

And, of course, there was Dean. Dean, who dragged Cas to a football game and didn’t drink a sip of alcohol the whole time in solidarity; Dean, who, after Tombstone, insisted on movie night every Tuesday; Dean, who, demanded that Cas print out a copy of one of his short stories and sign it (“When you’re a famous douchebag, this is gonna be worth so much money”).

It seemed that, on all fronts, Castiel had finally capitalized on the collegiate promise of a second chance. 

But by his own estimation, he was doomed.

Because sometimes, his palms started sweating when Dean stood too close. Sometimes, his heartbeat skipped when Dean threw an arm across Cas’s shoulders. Sometimes, Cas woke up from a dream so vivid, he was disappointed to find himself alone in his bunk bed.

He could see how easy it would be to fall in love with Dean Winchester, what with the blond hair and green eyes, bright smiles and southern lilt, funny jokes and considerate actions. The prospect was utterly terrifying, and Castiel was doing everything in his power to stop dwelling on it.

He’d been down the “falling in love with your straight best friend” road before. AP biology class brought Cas a lab partner in Ben Wright. Soccer team captain, A-student, all around nice guy. Maybe Ben didn’t do anything to stop the constant verbal torment, but he never took part in it. At first, being around him was exhilarating. Sharing looks, catching smiles, trading inside jokes; Cas was intoxicated. He was so high on first love that he made the mistake of confiding in Bartholomew. Cas had always considered him to be a role model, friend and brother at the same time. But that night, when Cas came out, Bartholomew looked at him like one might look at spoiled food. He’d agreed not to tell their father, on the condition that Cas never speak about the matter again, that he figure out some way to “cleanse himself.” They hadn’t spoken since that night.

And so the feelings that once propelled Castiel to school with anticipation suddenly made him dread it. Not only did baring his soul to a brother get him a one-way ticket to estrangement, but Ben started dating someone else, a girl from his English class. Now every shared look was painful, smiles were false, inside jokes stopped being funny.

It was somehow worse, knowing Ben could never feel the same way. It certainly didn’t help the feelings of guilt and shame brought by his family.

Cas would do anything not to feel that way again. 

He started by insisting that Dean invite Benny and Charlie to more of their nightly dinners. And while he honestly liked the both of them, he would be lying if he didn’t admit that their presence was, first and foremost, a distraction from Dean. He took up running again, as a way to get himself out of the dorm when Dean decided to stay in. He spent more time studying with Meg.

Meg was shockingly easy to befriend. She wasn’t nice — Cas had watched in shock when, once, she dumped a hot coffee on a skateboarder who had knocked her down on accident — but she never said a mean thing to Castiel. She was like him: a black sheep, the child everyone wished they could forget. Only, where Cas had become an agnostic and gone to college, Meg had become a Satanist and gone to jail for arson.

But this was her new leaf, she told him. Maybe it didn’t matter why someone needed a second chance, only that they were willing to take one.

They had been working for an hour when she threw her pen at his head and said, “Cas, you should come with me to Sig Ep’s Halloween party tomorrow. Be my date.”

Cas took a moment to process the meaning of party + date + with Meg. “Uh, I don’t — well, um, parties aren’t really —”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re allowed to say no, hun.”

Cas panicked. Meg was looking at him expectantly, her resigned smile making it clear she was prepared for rejection.

“Well, I… It’s not because of you — you’re very beautiful, and smart. Actually, you’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve met here.” She grinned at that. “It’s just, I don’t really… Go on dates. With girls.”

She studied him a moment before understanding lit up her face. “Oh.”

Castiel fidgeted with his pencil, refusing to meet her eyes. He’d only ever done this once, and it hadn’t gone well. But he liked having a friend, and more than that, he liked having Meg as a friend. He didn’t want her to think he wasn’t interested because of any fault of her own.

“Cas,” she said. When he didn’t respond, she poked him in the arm. “Castiel.” He raised his eyes. “It’s cool. It’s not like you can just choose to like girls when a pretty one asks you on a date.”

“I… Understand, if you would rather not be friends,” Cas said, cautiously.

“What?” Meg’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about? Why would I not want to be friends?” She laughed a little. “That would be super ironic, considering I told you I went to juvie and you didn’t bat an eye.”

“Because I’m gay,” Cas said quietly, looking down again.

Meg grabbed both his hands. “Cas, hun, there’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

He looked up again, eyes wide. “What? I mean, I know that, I just… Not everyone does.”

Meg smiled sadly at him and gripped his hands a little tighter. “Well, I do. No biggie. We’re going to be iconic together, you and I. Sexiest gay-straight alliance of all time.”

Cas smiled weakly, relief flooding his entire body. “Thank you, Meg. I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to make any judgements on your character. It’s just… This,” he motioned at the air between them, “has never gone well for me.”

Meg shook her head. “That’s a shame,” she said. “I haven’t known you that long. But I think I can tell that you — all the parts of you — are awesome.”

“You can still come to the party,” she added after a moment.

Cas shook his head, capping and uncapping his pen repeatedly. “Parties… They’re not really my scene.”

“All right. You know who to call if you change your mind.”

                   On Halloween, Castiel returned from his nightly run to find Dean pulling on a flannel. He checked his watch — he had barely made it. 6:57 pm.

“Right on time,” Dean said. “I was about to leave without you.”

“I would have never forgiven you if you did,” Cas joked. Then, “Are Charlie and Benny coming?”

“Nah, they’re both busy tonight. Halloween parties, you know.”

“Oh.” Castiel took a large sip of his water. “You’re not attending a Halloween party?”

Dean shrugged. “Wasn’t really feeling it tonight. Plus, I have a feeling you’ve never seen The Exorcist?” When Cas shook his head, Dean rubbed his hands together. “Oh man, we are totally watching it tonight. Unless you’re busy,” he added, raising his eyebrows at Cas.

“I’m not,” Cas replied. Dean knew this already, of course, otherwise Cas might have made something up. The waters in which he tread got more dangerous each day. He couldn’t escape the warm feeling flooding his chest at the idea of Dean ditching the parties for a movie night.

It was precisely that feeling that caused him to hurriedly ask, “Would you mind if I invited Meg to dinner?”

“Who?” Dean asked, lacing up his boots.

“Meg Masters. She’s the friend from accounting that I told you about.”

“Ah,” Dean said. “Right. What, just me isn’t good enough anymore?” Cas thought he was joking, but it seemed forced.

“Dean —”

“I’m kidding, man,” Dean said with a short laugh. “Sure, she can come.”

Castiel hurriedly splashed his face with cold water and shed his sweaty t-shirt in favor of a hoodie. Dean feigned a sniff in his direction and made a face, to which Cas replied with an eye-roll. As they left their dorm, Cas sent a text to Meg.

CN (7:02 pm)

Would you like to get dinner with Dean and me?

CN (7:02 pm)

Unless you’re already at your party, in which case, be safe.

MM (7:03 pm)

Party not til later. hot roommate dean?

CN (7:04 pm)

...Is that a yes?

MM (7:04 pm)

Yes please ;) shocker dining?

CN (7:05 pm)

Yes. We’ll meet you there.

Dean grabbed a burger and an inordinate amount of fries while Castiel loaded his plate with spaghetti and a salad. Meg walked into the dining room just after he and Dean sat down, and Cas waved her over.

“Meg,” he said, offering her the seat next to his, “this is Dean Winchester. Dean, this is Meg Masters.” Dean smiled at her with a mouthful of french fries. Cas dropped his head in exasperation.

“Pleasure,” Meg said with a half-cocked smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Dean shrugged. “I am pretty awesome. Can’t say the same about you, though.”

Cas went bright red. He shot Dean a glare, then turned to Meg. “He’s joking —”

Meg’s grin only widened, and she giggled. “It’s all right, Cas, I’m not very interesting.” She raised an eyebrow at him. He became extremely intent upon eating his dinner.

Dean stared at her for a moment, chewing a bite of burger. “So,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “You know Cas from accounting?”

“That’s right,” Meg said brightly.

“So he’s your tutor or somethin’?”

Cas interjected. “Actually, Meg is far more capable than I am. She essentially taught me everything about liabilities.”

“Adorable,” Dean grumbled.

“Isn’t it?” Meg asked sweetly. “And you’re his roommate.”

“Yep.”

“Lucky you.” She gave him a wink. Dean choked on his diet Coke, and Castiel prayed to whomever was listening that he might cease to exist.

“Meg,” he said, giving her a pointed look, “did you finish the homework?”

She pulled her eyes away from Dean. “Yeah, I did.” She dropped her voice. “Did you want to go over it? At my place?” She winked at Cas, who stared at her in horror. Why was she acting like this? “You know,” Meg continued, “We can do other things too. Besides accounting.”

Dean cleared his throat loudly. “I’m gonna go grab some more fries. Do y’all want anything?” 

Cas and Meg shook their heads. When Dean had left the table, Cas gave Meg a death stare.

“What’s wrong with you?” He hissed. “I thought we covered this —”

“Yes, Cas, hun, I know you’re extraordinarily gay,” Meg said with an eyeroll. “I’m not actually interested. I’m just conducting an experiment.” 

Cas narrowed his eyes. “What ‘experiment’—”

He closed his mouth abruptly and leaned away from Meg when he saw Dean returning from the buffet line. He returned to his seat, looking between Cas and Meg suspiciously. Cas downed his water in one swift action.

“So, Dean,” Meg said after taking a bite of her pizza. “I hear you’re educating our friend here on pop culture.”

Dean didn’t bother to look up at her while he swirled a fry in ketchup. “Guess so.” 

Cas cleared his throat to interject. This direction of conversation was much better. “Meg asked what my favorite movie was,” he explained to Dean, who still hadn’t looked up from his plate. “I told her about how much I liked Back to the Future when we watched it last week.” 

Dean gave him a small smile. “Yeah, that movie’s friggin’ awesome.”

Cas turned to Meg. “We’re watching The Exorcist tonight.” 

Meg gasped dramatically. “So that’s why you blew off our date?”

Dean sputtered into his drink. “Date?” He said through a cough.

Cas looked helplessly at Meg, who unhelpfully smiled back. He was going to have words with her after this. 

“I asked him to come to the SigEp party, but he said he was busy,” Meg said, feigning a pout. “But I get it, parties aren’t really Cas’s thing, anyway.”

Dean’s eyes flickered quickly between Cas and Meg. “All right, am I missing something?” He asked. His leg was bouncing against the table leg, hard enough that Cas’s plate was vibrating. 

Cas looked at him, panicked, and stuttered out, “I don’t —”

“Like what?” Meg asked, sipping on her water.

“You his girlfriend or somethin’?”

This question delighted Meg. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Dean turned to Cas with an exasperated look. “Well?” He prodded.

Cas was sure he was about three different shades of red at this point. “What — I — no,” he sputtered.

Dean seemed to relax a little. Meg was still grinning like a madman. “There you go,” she said.

Castiel could not formulate a single coherent thought. He was confused as to how they even ended up here. The silence between the three of them was thick and awkward. Meg paid it no mind, just popped a strawberry in her mouth and gave Dean a sickly sweet smile. Dean excused himself to use the restroom, hitting his leg on the table and nearly tripping over his chair. Once he had left, Meg turned to Cas, her eyes sparkling.

“You are so in,” she said.

“What the hell was that?” He asked her. “What just happened?”

“He thinks I’m into you,” she explained. She took a bite of her pizza, then continued, “And he thinks you might be into me. And he hates that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Cas scoffed.

Meg laughed, throwing her head back. When Cas fixed her with a glare, her eyes widened. “You really don’t see it?”

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. “There’s nothing to ‘see’. I already told you.”

“Yeah, right. Whatever, you’ll thank me later.”

“For creating what is perhaps the most awkward dinner I’ve ever had in my life?”

She waved him off. “Don’t be such a baby, it wasn’t that bad.”

Cas gave her a look that suggested otherwise. She sighed.

“Look, the way you talk about him…” Meg grabbed Cas's hand when he rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. You like him, and now you know he likes you too.” She sat up proudly. “I just did all the heavy lifting for you.”

“Right,” Cas said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Obviously, this interaction points to an inevitable romantic encounter. Except, and I think this is important, Dean is not gay.”

Meg raised an eyebrow. “Well, the way he looks at you, he’s not straight either. Plus, he apparently still thinks you’re straight, so you two haven’t had that conversation yet. He could be flamingly bisexual and you would never know.”

“This conversation is exhausting.” Cas felt like he was watching a Disney Channel Original Movie, and Meg was a fifteen-year-old matchmaker.

Meg laughed. “I’m sure you’ll survive. By the way, did you actually want to go over the homework this weekend?”

“Yes,” he said, relieved at the change in subject.

Dean returned then. “Are y’all done?” He asked, pointing to their plates. Cas and Meg both nodded, offering “thank you’s” as Dean took their plates to the dish rack. They followed him to the exit, the crisp air sending a chill through Castiel.

“Did you want me to walk back with you, Meg?” Cas offered.

She beamed at him. “You’re so sweet, but no. I’m getting an Uber to Sig Ep, anyway.” She dug into her coat pocket and pulled out something small and black. “Plus, if anyone tries anything, they’ll find themselves electrocuted. Just a little bit.”

Cas grinned. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“See you on Monday, Cas,” Meg said, giving him a hug that lasted just a touch too long. “It was good to meet you, Dean.”

“You too,” Dean muttered.

They watched her walk away for a moment. Cas wanted to avoid looking at Dean for as long as humanly possible. He had no idea how he was supposed to explain the previous interaction.

“So,” Dean said, clearing his throat. “She’s… Nice.”

“She is,” Castiel agreed earnestly. “Dean, I’m sorry, Meg can be a bit…” He struggled to find an adequate descriptor. “I think she enjoys others’ discomfort a bit too much, sometimes,” he finished.

Dean let out a short laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. It’s not a big deal, man.”

They stood in silence, Dean looking at the ground intently, Cas tugging on the strings of his hoodie. Dean kicked a rock, then sighed. “You, uh, you ready to head back?”

“Yes,” Cas replied.

The walk back to their dorm was quiet. Castiel couldn’t tell for sure, but he thought Dean looked bothered. He felt bad — he had honestly expected for Meg and Dean to get along. He had thought them to be similar in their confident and boisterous personalities. Now, he wondered if that was precisely the problem. Too much personality at the same dinner table. He winced internally at his own poor judgement. Meg obviously took no issue with the encounter, but he worried that Dean might hold it against him.

Dean let them into their room, then wrinkled his nose at Cas once more. “Dude, seriously, go take a shower. You’re gross.”

“Actually, I enjoy the feeling of my sweat drying all over my skin. I was thinking of going straight to bed like this. It’s not as if I didn’t take a shower because of your constant insistence upon eating meals at the same time every day”

Dean made a gagging motion. “Hey, we had an appointment, and you were almost late. How is that my fault?”

Cas just rolled his eyes and gathered his things to head to the showers. He let out a muttered, “Crap” when he realized nearly all of his laundry was dirty. He’d been busy this week, and running every day tended to render his clothes unwearable after a single use. He made a mental note to do laundry first thing in the morning. He was able to find an old pair of gym shorts, but not a single t-shirt remained in his closet. Cas groaned inwardly. So he would simply have to sit next to Dean for approximately two-and-a-half hours, shirtless. Fantastic.

When he returned from his shower, Cas found Dean cooking two bags of popcorn, the title menu of The Exorcist already on screen. Dean stood up from the microwave when Cas entered, and was halfway into a thumbs-up when he did a double take.

“Uh… We goin’ shirtless tonight, Baywatch?” He said, tugging at his collar.

Castiel tilted his head. “I don’t understand that reference.”

“Of course you don’t,” Dean said with a chuckle. “Seriously, though, dude.”

Cas sighed as he sat on their beanbag. “I have a lot of laundry to do tomorrow,” he said by way of an explanation.

Dean didn’t respond, but made his way to his own closet. He ruffled through it for a moment before Cas was hit in the face by a t-shirt.

“Here, just wear one of mine,” Dean said. He coughed and crossed his arms over his chest. “‘S kinda cold in here, anyway.”

Cas held up the shirt. It was a Led Zeppelin graphic tee, vintage, from their tour in 1977. Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean.

“It’s pretty awesome right?” Cas donned the t-shirt. “Sammy got it for me from a Goodwill a couple years ago. Another of my prized possessions.” He looked at Cas with feigned scrutiny. “Looks good on you,” he said.

Cas played with the hem as he said, “Thank you.” Dean coughed again and walked back to the microwave to retrieve their popcorn. The air was palpable with awkwardness.

Dean turned out the lights. They settled onto the beanbag, as had become custom in the last few weeks. 

Not even thirty minutes in, Dean’s phone began to ring. “Hey, my brother’s callin’, can you pause it?” Dean said.

Cas obliged, and Dean stood as he said, “Hey, Sammy, how’s it goin’?”

Cas sat awkwardly with his hands in his lap, doing his best not to eavesdrop on Dean’s conversation. Though, he supposed if it was private, Dean could have moved to the hallway. Instead, he leaned against the door, twisting the beaded bracelet on his left hand. 

“He did what?” Dean suddenly yelled, and Cas jumped. Dean shot him a quick apologetic look. “

“Sammy, calm down, it’s okay,” Dean said, and Cas couldn’t pretend to not listen anymore. He looked at Dean with a silent question, but Dean was staring hard at the wall, his free hand balled into a fist. 

“Put him on the phone,” Dean said in a low voice. A pause. “What, so now he’s allowed to treat you like shit whenever he wants?” Another pause. A slow exhale from Dean. “No, you’re right. I don’t… I won’t make it worse.” Pause. “Do you want me to come down there? Because I will, you know I will.” 

Dean was silent for a long moment before asking, “Are you sure?” He sighed at whatever his brother said on the other line. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything, I guess. And Sam? I’m really fucking sorry. I should’ve stayed, I don’t…” He trailed off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I know. Yeah. Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” 

Dean lowered the phone from his ear. He stood silently for a moment, angry gaze directed at the floor. Then, causing Cas to jump once more, he turned and hurled his fist at the door. 

There was a loud thud upon impact, and then Dean was yelling “Fuck! Goddammit!” as he cradled his hand. Cas stood abruptly, but had no idea what to do. He walked toward Dean, cautiously.

Dean’s eyes were closed, and he was heaving deep breaths. Cas put a hand on his shoulder. “Dean?” He ventured.

“Sorry,” Dean mumbled, still not looking at Cas. “I just — Fuck, that was so stupid,” he said, shaking out his affected hand. “Sorry,” he repeated to the wall. 

“It’s fine,” Cas said, even though he thought it definitely wasn’t. “What happened?” 

Dean just shook his head. Cas’s hand remained on his shoulder. He tightened his grip, a little nervous that Dean might shove him off. “Dean,” he persisted. “You can tell me.” 

Finally, Dean looked at him, and Cas thought if that level of rage was ever directed at him, he would promptly die. Instead, he raised an eyebrow. “Are you all right?” 

“No,” Dean growled. “I gotta — I don’t know, I need to calm down. I don’t actually want to break something,” he said, motioning to the door. “I’m gonna go for a smoke.” 

Cas dropped his hand and folded his arms across his chest. “I’ll go with you.” 

“Cas —” Dean started, but Cas silenced him with a look. He grabbed one of Dean’s flannels from his desk chair and threw it at him. Dean caught it with a cross between surprise and irritation. Cas grabbed his own windbreaker and put it on, looking expectantly at Dean. 

“Are we going?” He asked. 

Dean looked at him as if he was trying to decide whether arguing was worth it. A sigh confirmed that it wasn’t. He silently pulled on his flannel and opened the door, ushering Cas through before exiting himself. 

They walked in silence, despite the fervor of Cas’s concern and curiosity at Dean’s outburst. Dean’s jaw was set, and he took a long, slow breath when they hit the crisp fall air. When they reached the Impala, Cas silently moved to lean on the hood while Dean retrieved his lighter and a cigarette. 

Dean joined Cas as he took a long draw. He exhaled the smoke upwards, his eyes closed. His face was still turned to the sky when he asked, “This really doesn’t bother you?”

“What?”

Dean brandished his cigarette in answer, turning to raise an eyebrow at Cas. 

Cas shrugged. “It’s not particularly comforting. But, there are worse things.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked up thoughtfully. “Besides, you’ve been smoking for years. If anyone could convince you to quit, your random college roommate isn’t the most likely option.” 

Dean gave him a strange look before exhaling another plume of smoke. He coughed a little. “I think you have long passed the line between ‘random roommate’ and ‘new best friend.’”

Cas gave a little chuckle. “That’s good to hear.” Inside, his world was falling down and rebuilding itself anew. Dean thought of Cas as his best friend. Cas had never known that feeling, to have someone care about him like that. Cas wondered if that could be enough, being Dean’s best friend.  

He didn’t say anything more, though, just let Dean finish his cigarette. After throwing the butt on the pavement and stomping on it, he heaved a sigh. 

“My dad…” He started, but paused. “He, uh, he said some stuff to Sam. My brother.” 

Cas nodded, doing his best to keep his face neutral. Talking things through wasn’t Dean’s strong suit, and Cas didn’t want dramatics to make it more difficult. 

“What did he say?”

Dean shifted and rubbed his hands together. “Bunch of bullshit. ‘It’s your fault your Mom’s dead, it should have been you instead of her.’” Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth. “I mean, he used to say that to me. He gets into these moods when he drinks, says a bunch of shit he doesn’t mean.” 

Dean shoved himself off the hood and began to pace in front of Cas. “But I could take it, you know? Sammy’s just a kid. He doesn’t need to hear that.” 

“Your father says things like this often?” Cas asked, a tinge of horror in his voice. 

“He used to. But only to me. Never to Sam.” 

Cas took a deep breath, trying to discern how best to proceed. “Dean,” he said slowly, “he shouldn’t say those things. Ever. Not to Sam, and not to you.” 

“I’m just confused,” Dean said. “And pissed. Sam and him are usually okay. I mean, they’re not buddies or anything, but Dad leaves him alone for the most part.”

“I don’t want to overstep,” Cas said, “But it seems like your father used you as an outlet for misplaced rage. A punching bag, if you will. And now you’re gone, so Sam is the next best thing.” 

Dean met Cas'seyes with a horrified look. “God. I didn’t… You’re right. Shit, this is my fault, I can’t believe I —”

“No, Dean,” Cas growled. He stood and grabbed Dean by both shoulders. “This is your father’s fault. Not yours.”

“But I left Sam, alone, with him,” Dean said, and Cas could see panic rising in his eyes. “How could I do that, why —” Cas interrupted him again. “Why did you decide to attend college, Dean? What’s the real reason?”

“What?” Dean gave him an incredulous look. “I don’t know.” 

Cas tilted his head down, skeptical. 

Dean let out a long sigh. “Okay, all right. I went because Sam is smart, and he needs to go. But we don’t have any money. So I figured if I came and got a degree or some shit, I could make enough to throw him some cash while he goes to school. Get some summer internships and save up for his college fund. He’d probably still have to take out loans and stuff, but if I got a good job, I could help him pay them off.” 

Cas wasn’t sure what answer he had expected, but it wasn’t that one. He felt his heart break for the man standing in front of him, who did everything he could and more for the people he cared about and never felt like it was enough. 

“Would Sam ever hold that against you?” When Dean didn’t respond, Cas continued. “I know I wouldn’t. I have four older siblings, and not a single one of them has ever done something like that for me.”

“But—”

“You’re making yourself miserable over something that isn’t your fault,” Cas said. “Did you have anyone protecting you when your father went on a tirade?” 

“No, but—”

“Is Sam incapable of handling himself?”

“No, but Cas—”

“He’ll be alright, Dean,” Cas insisted. “You can’t live your whole life as his shield. You’ll break yourself trying.” 

Dean was silent, and wouldn’t  meet Cas's eyes. Cas dropped his hands and leaned back against the Impala. “Did you ever think that Sam might have wanted you to go to school simply so you could get yourself out? Did you ever think that Sam hates the way your father treated you as much as you hate what he did to Sam tonight?” 

Dean pursed his lips together, but his jaw relaxed slightly. Finally, he muttered, “I guess I never thought about it like that.” 

Cas felt relief wash over him. He’d never seen Dean like this — angry and frantic. Cas wondered if Dean always did this, shouldered the blame for every bad thing his brother had to endure. The thought made his chest hurt. 

Dean’s hands were hanging limply at his side. He looked exhausted. Against his better judgement, Cas grabbed Dean by the forearm and pulled him into a hug. Dean was still for a moment, but then sighed and rested his head on Cas's shoulder. 

“Sorry, man,” he said. “I didn’t mean to act like that, punching things and shit. I just get so angry, and I don’t know what to do with it.” 

Cas was trying very hard to form a coherent thought. “There’s no need for apologies. I understand.” 

A chuckle escaped Dean’s lips. “You must think I’m a complete nutjob, huh?” 

Cas tilted his head in consideration. Dean’s hair tickled his cheek. “No. I think your father spent years verbally abusing you, and you’re doing your best in spite of that.” 

Dean broke the hug abruptly. The sudden space between them felt criminal. “I mean, I don’t know if it’s abuse…” He started, but, at Cas's look, he trailed off. Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks, Cas,” he said quietly. “Honestly, dude, I don’t know what I would have done without you.” 

Cas's cheeks warmed, and he shrugged. “You would have done the same for me.” 

Dean gave him a small smile. Cas’s heart nearly broke with relief. “I’m beat,” he said. “Bed?” 

Cas nodded eagerly. “Bed.” 

When they reached the stairs, Dean broke the heavy silence.

“So…” He began. There was a false brightness in his voice; he was obviously searching for levity. “You hanging out with your girlfriend tomorrow?” 

“If you’re referring to Meg, she’s still not my girlfriend,” Cas replied vacantly. “And yes.” He suddenly felt exhausted. First the mortifying dinner with Meg, then the heavy conversation with Dean. He hardly had it in him to field jokes about Meg being his girlfriend.

“She’s not your girlfriend yet,” Dean amended, giving Cas a smirk that didn’t meet his eyes. 

And what was Cas supposed to say to that? Meg was funny and smart and beautiful. She and Cas studied together on the regular. There was absolutely no reason he shouldn’t be interested in Meg from Dean’s perspective. 

Of course, if Dean knew he was gay… 

Cas didn’t know if he could face the consequences of coming out to Dean. Would he be upset that Cas hadn’t told him earlier? Would he be uncomfortable with a gay man as his roommate? As his friend? Cas may have expanded his social circle, but he still couldn’t bear to lose Dean. 

But, then again, Dean had defended him once already, without knowing whether or not he was gay. He’d sounded indifferent to the possibility then. And just tonight, he’d called Cas his best friend. Dean cared more deeply for his friends and family than anyone Cas had ever met. Cas was in that group. Dean wouldn’t shove him out of it because of who he loved.

Right?

As they reached the entrance to their hall, Dean poked Cas in the shoulder. “Hey, Earth to Major Tom,” he said. “You okay over there?” 

Cas realized he hadn’t said a word since they started their ascent up the stairs. He sighed heavily.

Perhaps this was as good a time as any. 

“Dean,” he said, but closed his mouth. He should just say it. He had nothing to worry about. This wasn’t Bartholomew. He knew that, but the words remained stuck in his throat.

“What?” Dean said, eyebrows raised. “Cas,” he prodded, waving a hand in front of Cas’s face. 

“I’m not…” Cas swallowed. “I will never date Meg,” he finished, with a pointed look. 

Dean side-eyed him as they walked to their door. “What, she’s not your type?” 

Cas gave him a lopsided smile. “You could say that.” 

“I dunno, man, maybe you should reconsider, you two are pretty adorable, in a gross way —”

“Dean.” Cas was about to rip his hair out. He wasn’t taking the hint. “She’s not my type. She’s a girl.”

Realization dawned on Dean’s face. “Oh,” he said.

“I apologize for not telling you sooner,” Cas said, bracing for the worst. “If that makes you uncomfortable, I understand —”

“What?” Dean practically shouted. At Cas’s look of surprise, he lowered his voice. “No, Cas, are you kidding? I thought I told you, after all that shit with Cole. It’s not a big deal.”

“Knowing your roommate might possibly be gay and knowing he is, indeed, gay are two very different things.”

Dean looked at Cas like he had just made the worst joke in the world. “I’m not gonna, like, try to move out.” As they approached their room, Cas stared resolutely ahead, walking with purpose. But Dean jumped out in front of him, a hand on Cas’s chest to stop him in his tracks. 

“Dude, it’s gonna take more than that to get rid of me. I lost my shit and punched a door, like, an hour ago, and you barely even blinked.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

Cas met Dean’s eyes and found unparalleled sincerity.

“I don’t… You’re not the least bit upset?” Cas asked, slightly incredulous. 

Dean shrugged. “You’re my best friend, Cas,” he said as he straightened. “Nothing’s gonna change that.” He pulled on his bracelet. “I do feel bad though, for making you feel like you couldn’t tell me. Not that you had to, or anything,” he added in a rush.  

Cas shook his head vigorously. “It has nothing to do with you, Dean. I’m… I’m new at this,” Cas explained. “The first time, with Bartholomew… I believe he was, as you would say, a dick about it.” 

Dean’s eyes turned stormy. “Bastard,” he said. “I’m sorry, Cas. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.” 

Cas nodded. “You’re right. It was rather unfortunate. I haven’t spoken to him since the night I told him I was gay.” 

Dean moved back to Cas’s side and slung an arm around his shoulders. “His loss,” he said. “You’re friggin’ awesome, dude.” 

Cas smiled. Dean patted him on the back and let the two of them into their room. 

Cas brushed his teeth and climbed into bed. Dean returned minutes later from a shower, and he flipped off the lights as he made his way to his own bunk. 

Cas pulled off Dean’s shirt and threw it across the room. Dean’s head caught it, and he yelped.

“Thank you for the loan,” Cas said, smiling. 

An odd expression crossed Dean’s face before he threw the Zeppelin shirt back to Cas. “Keep it,” he said. When Cas gave him a confused look, he put a hand on the back of his neck. “I meant what I said. Looks good on you.” 

---------

tagging @nguyenxtrang :)))

[mobagehelllocal]

“do you even lift bro?” extra notes i - iii:

I finally finished rereading all my “do you even lift bro?” stories! Man, I feel like I wrote them ages ago. As I mentioned before, I have been going back to do grammatical edits and what not. In the process, I’ve also been noting down my thought process for writing these pieces, and little easter eggs I put in for fun~ This extra notes will contain my thoughts from versions i to iii! 

*please do not read if you haven’t read “do you even lift bro?” ver i - iii. 

The title came to me immediately upon reading the request hahah. originally, it was meant to just be fluffy and cute... but I think it’s actually pretty funny. To me, at least hahah. 

Divus’s was the one exception, but i’ll get into that later.

The reader personality was based on one of my ocs. She was also the oc in my special Malleus x OC story, “bright eyes.”

I went with her because she was an OC, who, in my opinion, is the epitome of a optimistic fangirl lmao. If you’ve read “bright eyes” then I think you’d understand what I mean hahahah. 

For ver i--I think I definitely wrote Riddle’s first. followed by Leona, Azul, Malleus, Kalim, Vil then Idia. 

One of my best friends is a super huge Riddle stan (if you’re reading this, hi sis!) so I wrote his story primarily with her energy in mind. In short, she would most definitely bench press Riddle. 

Her energy + the base reader personality makes Riddle’s story one of the most fun actually. His reader is probably the most mischievous ones--which I thought balanced out well with Riddle’s actual personality. 

Leona’s story is heavily influenced by pride dynamics. It’s common knowledge that it’s the female lions who hunt hence why in Afterglow Savanna--the women are stronger. Leona is royalty, so I assumed that from a young age he’d be told to wed a strong woman. 

I also need to note that Leona is described as respecting women. here’s the thing, I’m pretty sure it’s specifically women from Afterglow Savanna because they could bench press him. That’s not to say he doesn’t respect all women--he probably just puts women from Afterglow Savanna on a different standard because of his experience with them. Either way, you surprised him greatly, and assume that Leona will not be able to look you in the eye for awhile.

Azul’s story specifically takes place after Jamil SR Lab Coat episodes and Azul’s R PE Uniform episodes. I found their relationship funny, and thought it would be fun to continue off from there. 

Most of Azul’s stories come from me just wanting to fluster the hell out of Azul... that being said, I did delve a bit into the magic of TWST for this one. I remember it was Crowley (was it in the prologue?) who noted that magic is dependent also on how much someone believed in their ability to do something. This is why Azul falls down haha, his will faltered and he stopped believing. 

Jamil doesn’t get a break at all, doesn’t he? The reader and Jamil actually vibe really well because they both understood enough about Kalim to know what he was doing.

I think I remember being pretty stuck on which one to do for this. I think it was reading Jamil’s SSR Dorm Uniform story that really made me have an ‘aha’ moment on how to write it--since something like this happens on there. 

Surprisingly for Vil, once I had figured out that I wanted to write him getting mobbed, and being saved by his reader--it flowed out really fast from there. 

For Vil, I always end up bringing up the issue that he’s something like a celebrity and you are one in the million who adore him. I thought that this was just one way to sort of tackle your relationship together. 

I really enjoyed highlighting how you love Vil different from the rest who adore him. The importance of how you see his flaws and still love him--especially because as an influencer Vil has a certain pressure to appear in a certain way. 

Idia’s was the last one I wrote, but I had a lot of fun because I stuffed it full of references. I figured that Idia’s thought process would be more of him thinking life as a game, that’s why he uses terms like support level often in my writing. 

On that note, I know ‘Gao-Gao Dragon-kun’ is a reference to Tamagotchi, but I decided to just merge up Tamagotchi and Pokemon in this case. Hence why ‘Gao-Gao Shield and Sword’ existed lmao. I didn’t put too much effort in that and just switched ‘Shield and Sword’’s order HAHAH. I did consider making it ‘Gao-Gao Gun and Wand’ though. 

‘Water Crest: The Seven Dorms’ is a reference to Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I felt incredibly clever when I came up with that HAHAH. But also, when he references support levels, he’s talking about a gameplay in Fire Emblem. For people who aren’t familiar with this, essentially, FE has a system wherein the more you use two units together the likely their support will rise. The supports go from C-B-A-S, with S as the highest. When Idia says he works hard on S Support, he literally means he went out of his way to spend time with you and befriend you. Isn’t that cute? When he references SS Support, it actually doesn’t exist HAHA, but he didn’t realize there was “another level” sort of thing xD

When I write funny Malleus stories, the other members of Diasomnia are likely to be hiding in the bushes. Most funny stuff probably fly over Malleus’s head so... The other Diasomnia members pop in to react hahaha.

To Malleus, your tendency to treat him as a regular person, and not treating him as a lord--makes him incredibly fond of you. It’s because you treat him as an equal, that makes him treat you as an equal. I also think this was the piece where he started calling you “bright light.” There’s no deeper meaning to it, he really just sees you as a bright light--like a brilliant star. You, literally, light up the world. :,) 

Ver ii order of writing--Ashton, Dire, Divus. I had come up with the premise of Divus first though. 

I think Dire was the hardest one for me, because I kept worrying about things like--’what if he’s not actually like this,’ or ‘what if that isn’t how he would actually act’ etc etc. but I think it turned out pretty alright.

Dire, for all his claims of being a kind person--I think actually is a kind guy. He does have the tendency to be a little manipulative and whatnot... but at the end of the day he does care.

For Divus, I sniffed GBF Belial’s Perfume because I wanted to get inspired (and I sort of headcanon they smelled alike) but it went horny too fast. 

Divus is naturally intrigued with you, and he’s also very aware you’re attracted to him. So it amuses him to fluster you. He’s very aware of how good-looking he is, and he doesn’t mind flirting with people.

How I chose to portray Divus is actually based on how @avionvadion writes Divus in her story “Once Upon A Dream.” please check it out! It’s a super cute fanfic about a girl in Twisted Wonderland~ 

Ashton... I was surprised at how fast I was able to write his piece actually hahha. I went with a no braincell, but cheerful and all-around good guy. 

I don’t think there was a lot of Ashton to really research about, but... I just tried to make him good guy Gaston... for now xD 

Ver iii--it went Floyd, Jamil, Jade, Rook, Lilia, and Epel.

There’s this scene in, I think, the first episode of Avatar: The Legend of Aang where Appa wouldn’t fly. So Sokka just straight up... insulted? Appa? i guess. Then Appa suddenly COULD fly, and Sokka was just straight up amazed and yelling... Yeah that was my primary inspiration for Floyd’s story.

Floyd... Floyd is twins with Jade, let’s not forget that. I’m sure Floyd is actually really intelligent, he just isn’t in the mood to be sometimes. Hence he’s able to really understand something when you say something seriously. I think Floyd would always take you seriously when you say something important. 

For Jade’s story, my inspiration was the story of my dad tripping. It was only witnessed by him and mom. My mom talked about how terrifying it was to watch a six foot tall man fall down. My dad just found it funny. Hence, I thought, Jade should trip. 

Other than that, the general idea I wanted was that it’s our time to pamper Jade. He’s one of the two characters who I know would love to pamper his reader. So this was his lover’s chance to pamper him. Also, he’s also one of two characters who would have an idea about your insane strength.

Jamil, much like Jade, is the type of guy who pampers the people he loves. He doesn’t take to being pampered too well. He’s not used to it. 

Jamil also appreciates getting his hard work recognized, so I’m sure he has a praise kink hahah. He’s also easily embarrassed. I think Jamil needs someone who acknowledges all of his hard work, who also accepts his mistakes. 

Epel was the last one to write, and actually a genuine struggle for me. I always... end up writing something in relation to his struggles with his face and femininity. Epel is someone who wants to be seen as a real man, so I worried about what he’d think of a reader who had the strength he wanted. 

I figured if it was anyone else, it might inspire jealousy in Epel--but because it was his lover, he was able to push aside his negative feelings and look at the bright side. You’re truly his ideal, and he wants to learn how to be strong from you.

Rook was another tough one. There did exist a version where you surprise him... but the more I thought about it, the more I found it impossible for Rook to not know or not have an idea. He’s the other character who would have an idea about your strength.

On that note, thinking about a romantic partner for Rook... I thought what was best was someone who wouldn’t find him odd. Who would actually try to learn about him. 

Lilia’s... was also pretty easy given he enjoyed hanging upside down a lot in the main story hahah. Lilia cute, I love him. Also, when will Lilia stop messing with Idia? Probably never tbh. 

I touched upon the topic of mortality and immortality, but because I wanted this to be lighthearted--I chose not to pursue it. It would drag the mood down, but honestly--it’s something we can’t ignore and is very integral in relationships with Lilia or Malleus.

[spacebatisluvd]

Damn it. I friggin’ swore I wasn’t going to join a new fandom. And I doubly swore I wasn’t going to write anything for it. But....

I keep thinking...

About Hordak. And Entrapta. And redemption.

And my deep, deep need for hurt/comfort fics....

Which was how this idea was born. I’m not sure I want to write it—especially with the new season coming out—but I’m pretty positive the season won’t go this way. And it scratches that itch. So here’s the idea. Consider it adoptable (though I don’t trust my own self-control at this point, so be warned if you adopt).

-

During the final confrontation between the rebellion and prime, the women are faced with an ethical dilemma.

What to do with the clones.

With Prime gone, they’re aimless and uncertain. They’re no longer hostile, because that was merely part of their programming. With him gone, they’re confused and unsure what to do with themselves. Not to mention that, without orders to attack, many of them seem, well...nice.

Ethical dilemma number two is even worse—what do they do with Hordak? They found him easily enough; his body still bears the markers from his illness and his hair is blue, not white.

But it’s not him. In so many ways, this isn’t Hordak. He’s been re-programmed, and he was apparently re-programmed to serve Prime in a less militant capacity. (Why? Was there some thread of mercy in this, keeping him from the front lines? Or was this meant as a further humiliation to a man that wouldn’t even recognize it as such?) Either way, Adora finds it incredibly disturbing to see the former Horde leader simply tilt his head up in silent acceptance when she presses a blade to his throat.

So no one really has it in them to kick up a fuss when Entrapta volunteers to take him. That’s one less headache (two, if they count the fact that Entrapta will be taking him home, and though they’re happy to have her back, she is a bit of a nuisance, isn’t she?), and besides, what’s the harm.

They aren’t there to witness Entrapta trying—and failing—to bring Hordak, her Hordak back. She uses the crystal and his eyes flicker briefly, from green to red...but then they’re green again, and he just asks if he’s to serve her now that his brother is gone. Entrapta is familiar with failure, but she’s never failed at something so important before. This cuts her deeply, and she doesn’t know how to respond. In the end, though, there’s not much she can do, is there? She tells him, teary-eyed but trying to be strong—her tears upset him, and she doesn’t want to upset him; this isn’t his fault—that he’s not her servant, he’s her lab partner.

(His ears twitch when she says this, and his mouth quirks just a little. It’s not recognition, but he seems pleased by this new designation. He’s her partner. He doesn’t presume, in the quiet of his own mind, to assume that she considers them equals—and he quickly shuts down the dissenting, dissatisfied voice at the back of his mind, reminding him that Brother had never considered anyone his equal—but he’s happy that she’ll allow him the dignity of the term, even if it’s only a meaningless word.)

Day by day, Hordak and Entrapta grow close. This isn’t Hordak, not really. Yet she can see flashes of him. He gets so frustrated by his limitations, by any signs of failure, and he doesn’t know how to deal with that frustration. He’s still stoic and reserved, but for seemingly different reasons—he doesn’t feel equal to her, so he sometimes has trouble accepting her invitations to eat with her, or when she asks for his opinion with something. He appreciates the armor she develops for him, but he doesn’t understand why she spends so much time and so many resources on a defective clone like him. (He says that he’s ‘invalid’, like he’s a mistake or a computer error. In-VAL-id.) He laughs—once—and is then immediately mortified and ashamed and even frightened.

No, he’s not him...but she likes this person too. And she feels terrible for that. As if she’s betraying Hordak by beginning to befriend this new person. (He won’t respond to his name. He shakes when she uses it and his breathing goes erratic and panicky. She can’t bear to do that to him.) They make progress together, nonetheless.

What follows is unexpected.

Bits and pieces of memory begin to come back to him. And he’s slowly beginning to remember who he was...but that knowledge doesn’t erase the person he’s become. He has to deal with those memories as they come to him. What was done to him—(“He cast me out. Because I’m imperfect. Because I’m invalid.”)—and what he has done to others. It’s a lot for him to deal with, especially because he doesn’t have the mental tools to deal with his emotions. They bubble up and he doesn’t know how to let out the anger and the pain—and how does he get over the shame, when Entrapta won’t even punish him for his failings?

And how does he deal with his new feelings for her as well? New and old, as it turns out. This isn’t the mindless adoration he used to have for his Brother. (Used to? Yes. It’s been replaced by something else. Something angry and seething and he can’t examine it to closely, least he upset himself.) This is something else. Something more. Especially since she seems so determined not to feel the same. Not unless or until he’s ‘Hordak’ again.

They also, of course, have to deal with the other princesses when they visit. Especially now that Hordak can remember them.

Okay, this got way too long. I’m just rambling at this point.

-

TL;DR Hordak lost his memories, yes, but over time he’s slowly getting them back, and slowly becoming himself again. Not his old self, maybe, but the kind of person he could have been, if he’d been able to shake free of Prime’s influence when he first landed on Etheria. Angst and fluff and hurt/comfort abounds!

[crypticalwitch]

Dr. Hide, The Mechanisms, and a New friend.

The story of Dr. Marie Hide, Her small crew, and how they all met. The Story of my Mechsona crew.

Warnings-death, Poison, ask to tag.

Dr. Marie Hide was raised on stories of the Mechanisms. She would sit and listen to her great grandmother telling tales of a Man of copper singing tales of the past, tales of a man with a heart of metal being passed a baby and panicking, of Women with Wings or Minds of metal. 

She fell in love with the tales from the stars,and no matter how many times she was told to stay planetside for her own safely, she would look to the stars, the old warped disks her Great Grandma left her playing. The singers voice haunting as they told their one man audience the tales of Gunpowder Tim and Ashes O’Reilly. 

So, it wasn't much a surprise to herself or her family when she became an Engineer, and a Doctor, and a Pilot. and She headed off to the stars, gathering her own tales to be told. 

And then she found it. A very old file, something that took months upon months to update and break through all the passwords and safeguards to get at whatever was hiding in the file. and boy was it something.

A very old file, full of things written and made by the Mechanisms, Not the ones who her Great Grandma told her about, the ones whose voices filled Dr. Hide’s speakers when she was alone in the engine room, but the real ones. The immortals from all over the stars who played deadly pranks and who held a mini war over something called an Octo Kitten. Whatever the hell that was. All written by Dr. Carmilla and Raphaella La Cognizi.

But the most exciting thing, was the blueprints and instructions for Mechanization, Immortality developed by the Doctor.

It wasn't a hard decision for Her to make. She already couldn't walk, what was the worst thing that could happen. But first, she would need someone to do the procedure, since she really didn't want to be conceness for her legs to be cut off and guts scooped out.

So she built Jekyll. It was programed with hundreds of medical procedures, as well as what they’d need to do the whole mechanization process, if lacking in preprogrammed personality. 

So waking up with the ability to walk was interesting, and the first thing she got to do with her new skill was clumsy run and steal a ship with her unemoting companion.

The pair wandered, gathering more stories of their own, both ones they were involved in, and not always in their little junker ship, nicknamed “Borealis”.

Borealis tended to break down, stutter and never quiet be as safe as it should, but for a new immortal and her Robot companion, whose personality was only just starting to develop. It was home, if barely big enough.

When they landed on Pistil, Dr. Hide had only planned to make a fuel stop, until she heard from one of the local merchants that a warlord was making quick work of the planet, maybe she had extended her stay for a few....years, much to jekyll’s chagrin.

and She really wasn't expecting to find someone with her legs injured beyond belief. She was face down in the dirt, long grey-blue hair splayed out in long loose curls, her legs down to bone and blood.  

so Hide brought her back to the makeshift lab. Patching up the mysterious woman was easy enough, however, waiting for her to return to the waking world was a nightmare.

When she did, she cried, scared and alone. Now, the good Doctor is not really savvy with emotions, so having a panicking, sobbing, stranger on her table, was not her ideal situation. To make everything so much better, Jekyll had just walked in, and stood staring with its lack of eyes.

“Jek, now is not a good time.” She had hissed, rubbing the back of the woman.

“The Police are here.” It had said.

“fucking hell.” Dr. Hide had shoo’d the police away, who simply wanted to know who lived at the house. When she had returned, the woman had calmed down, and was wiping her tears away with a cloth given to her by jekyll.

She had introduced herself as Carcei Wisteria, the teamaid of Emperor Ivalace. Dr. Hide didn’t quite know what that meant, but was happy enough to support her.

Carcie was on her way to get a very specific flower to make tea with. something that would be VERY HARD WITHOUT HER FEET. So Hide offered her help, Pulling out her old wheelchair and offering her help carrying the flowers and seeds back to her home.

Carcie had (Reluctantly) accepted her offer, and the pair took a three month journey to find these flowers, a gorgeous plant nicknamed “Selene's Prayer”.  

For months after meeting and befriending the woman, someone Hide quickly grew to admire for her silver tongue and for her sharp mind, Hide would not know why Carcie wanted Selene’s Prayer, until one night, late in Pistil’s seasonal cycle, when plants dried and what chill that constituted Pistil’s winters was just beginning to set in, gathered over warm tea and surrounded by the smell of drying earth and burning silverwood, Carcie wove her tale.

Carcie Wisteria had been born Carcie Forsythia, and had trained under a noble of Dandil, the once name of the kingdom before it became territory of Peat. She had quickly became a gift to the Empress, Magnola, and even quicker became her High Teamaid, a position of high honour and status.

Magnola was apparently fond of Carcie, and often took her to peace talks and trade negotiations. Which is how she met them, a otherworldly seeming person who chose their name as Odyssey Velium.

Odyssey was tall, dark, freckled, with short dark red hair and smoky violet eyes that shone like a sunset. They was a similarly high ranked dressmaid to the former Emperor of Peat, a kindly older man by the name of Prairifire and one of Dandil’s strongest Allies. Carcie fell in love near instantly, and apparently Odyssey felt the same way, and the pair began a whirlwind relationship over letters. 

The years went on, the pair only seeing each other in person when Empress Magnola and Emperor Prairifire met up for tea, their love affair remained a secret. until one of the more Enterprising Teamaids discovered Carcie’s letters from Odyssey, and outed her relationship to both rulers. 

The pair believed themselves to only had a few hours together before their verdict handed out and they would be separated. 

and they were given their rulers blessings to be wed.

Odyssey was gifted to Magnola as a dressmaid, and they were engaged, choosing their family name to be Wisteria.

A few months passed, the kingdoms Alliship stronger than ever, before Emperor Prairifire died,and his War mongering son took the throne, and a new treaty needed to be written up.

Carcie just happen to be late to the Congress, her maids having made a near unrecoverable mistake with the petals, and she arrived just in time to see her Queen, her court, and her never to be partner slaughtered.

As was customary, she was taken as a prize, and made to serve her loves killer the same tea she would to her queen, as he took over the land she loved.

The petals of Selene’s Prayer, it turns out, were a horrific paralysis agent, as well as a hallucinogen. and a strong one. When mixed with the right Poisons, it would lead to a painful and terrifying death. One Carcie intended to give to the entire court as she watched.

Hide had only one thing to say after that.

“after the revenge, what will you do?“

“Probably be put to death, why?”

“wanna join my semi-immortal band of space pirates exploring the galaxy?” When Carcie said nothing, Hide continued, “i could just replace your feet with a mechanism like my lower body and Bam! Unkillable!”

“your kidding.”

“nope!” To demonstrate, Hide put a knife through her hand, and then showed the skin kniting itself back together.

“holy shit your not kidding?” Carcie puffed up “WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT WHEN WE FIRST MET!”

“DO YOU WANT BE STUCK LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T ASK TO BE IMMORTAL AND IS ANGRY WITH YOU FOR ETERNITY? I'D FEEL SO GUILTY! plus it kinda hurts for a few weeks after”

the pair laughed.

“Mari,” Carcie said, 

“Oh wow, using my first name! this is serious.”

“Mari.” Carice narrowed her eyes, “I want you to promise me something if i go through with this.”

“ok?”

“Promise me we’ll steal a bigger ship than Borealis after my revenge.”

“HELL YES!” Hide laughed, “so when is this going down?”

“Tomorrow.” Carice said,carefulling sipping her tea as Hide suddenly choked,

“TOMORROW SHIT I GOTTA GET A GOOD SEAT!” Hide threw a hug around Carcies shoulders, “Can't wait to see your magnum opus of vengeance, if Jekyll asks i'm following my family's footsteps!”  

“see ya Hide!”

 Sunrise came, and Carcie got to work. She dismissed her Teamaids for the day (”you’ve all worked so hard lately, and you deserve a break!”), and set to work brewing her poison. 

When the court downed the tea, the poison took quick. The paralysis only took hold of a few but the hallucinations were strong and maddening and within hours, the branches of the meeting hall were covered in madness and gore and horror. And standing in the middle, survivors would later say, stood Carcie, her mourning veil cloaking hazel eyes that had long hardened to earth and moss.

and dropping from an over head branch, was Hide, casting impressed eyes over her work.

“Were grabbing more of those seeds right?”

“mhm.”

“were taking all of your seeds aren't we?” 

“and the dry flowers.”

“sounds good!”

----------

WOO! That was fun! 

If you have any questions about my Crew, please ask! My ask box is open and Id love to gush or expand on the universe. also ask me to tag

[cryptidwizard]

Okay, I got one: Mikey and April doing a slumber party. Shenanigans.

okay so i actually tried writing this a few times when i was without my computer for two months but then completely forgot about it. i’m sorry for the wait and hope it was worth it. fic under the cut! tumblr is fucky and didn’t space it correctly so heres an ao3 link

April lovedher new friends, how could she not? They had saved her life, helped her findher father, taught her to protect herself, trained her as one of their own,befriended her in a time she had felt so alone, and became family to them. Theywere a little strange sure, but they were her’s. Leonardo was like a loveableolder brother, sort of nerdy but a welcome and reassuring presence. Raphael wasan enthusiastic and passionate brother, a little intense but a great sparringpartner. Donatello was smart, a genius even, sure she didn’t return hisfeelings and saw him more as family, but she still cared about him. (Besidesshe was still struggling to deal with her crush on her best friend Irma.)Michelangelo however, she felt closest to. He was fun and like a ray ofsunshine despite the darkness of the sewers. He was talented and the sweetyounger brother you always wanted to have, mischief and pranks aside. So, whenMikey had nervously asked her if she wanted to have a sleepover with him likepeople always did in tv shows he’d watch, she jumped at the chance, grinningwildly. So, Aprilhad told her father she was sleeping over at a friend’s house, loaded down withsome face masks and other fun sleepover supplies (nontoxic to mutant turtles ofcourse, she had done her own research and had asked Donnie to make sure). Sure,she had gone all out but this was Mikey, he was like a baby brother and he hadnever had a human friend or a sleepover. So, it became April’s mission to makethis the best sleepover ever. The turtles had offered to meet her and walk herto the lair, but she insisted she was okay, feeling confident with her weaponof choice the Tessan and a large can of pepper spray. After ashort trip through the sewers she arrived in the abandoned subway station,leaping over the turnstiles. April knew the others already knew she was here,from Donnie’s security cameras no doubt. Her suspicions were confirmed when anexcited shriek of “APRIL!!” sounded the room and she was pulled into anenthusiastic hug. She laughed and returned the hug, jeez she had gotten a lotstronger since training to be a kunoichi but wow the turtles were strong. “Hi Mikey! Are you prepared for your first and best sleepover ever?” She asked,faking a serious tone as her grinning companion released her from his hug trap.“Hell yeah I am!” Mikey shouted, barely containing his excitement.An annoyed “Language.” came from beloved stick in the mud older brother Leofrom the kitchen. April and Mikey exchanged looks, muffling their giggles. “Right sorry, I meant shell yeah I am!” He shouted again. April snorted atMikey’s attempt to recover from cursing. He took her hand and enthusiasticallylead her to his room, she waved to Leo as they passed by the kitchen, havingalready briefed the three brothers and Sensei on her sleepover plans.April letout a low and impressed whistle upon seeing Mikey’s room, he had cleaned up forher, aww. There were no left-over pizza slices or boxes left around! MasterSplinter couldn’t even get Mikey to clean his room, she kind of felt honored. The orange mask clad turtle noticed her expression and grinned, pretty proud ofhimself, “I know right? That’s how hyped I am.” April snickered and pulled outher duffle bag which had been filled to the brim with fun sleepover things todo, sure it was kind of middle school of her but hey Mikey has never done thisbefore, so she was pulling out all the stops. “Okay so I know you like makeup and pretty stuff like that, so I grabbed someof my makeup kits from when I was younger and some stuff Irma left at my house.I also got facemasks and nail polish along with some of those sleepover gamesmy dad got for me to get to know my friends with. Sound good?” She asked,pulling out some of the supplies, sure she wasn’t that into makeup and all thatbut upon seeing the amount of excited emojis Mikey had sent upon hearing shehad stuff like that in the group chat she just had to bring some. Mikey openedhis mouth to ask a question, but April beat him to it, “And yeah everything is mutantturtle safe I already asked Donnie about it, we don’t want your skin gettingfucky again.” Mikey nodded satisfied with the answer, shuddering at the thoughtof his shellacne.He brightened again, “Sounds awesome! Let’s do this!” April grinned and the funbegan. They put on some cheesy movie Mikey had rented, vowing to watch the actionflick that April had brought afterwards. She was now demonstrating how to paintnails on Mikey’s, thankfully since he had less fingers than she did it got donefaster. When April had asked what colors Mikey answered, blue, red, and purple.She arched an eyebrow at him, a smile on her face, it was no wonder why he hadchosen those colors. Mikey grinned, “Okay they’reaesthetically pleasing colors but I also love my dumb brothers.” He retorted,pretending to pout but not bothering to fully mask his smile. April rolled hereyes with a grin and finished up painting his nails. “Whatdya think?” She asked, she wasn’t the best with painting nails, but shehad nail polish remover packed and cleaned up her mistakes. Michelangelo beamed, “Oooh fancy I approve.” He said in a fake haughty tone ofvoice. April snickered and moved on to his toes, “Once they dry you can do mine if youwant.” She offered, Mikey nodded excitedly. After finishing she held out herhand for her friend to paint, trusting him to do a good job since he was themost artistic of the turtles after all. (Besides she would’ve let him do iteven if he couldn’t paint for shit.) “What colordyou want?” He asked. April thought for a moment and shrugged, “Surprise me.” Mikey grinned and gotto work as April turned her attention back towards the movie, assuring Mikeyshe wouldn’t peak. An enthusiastic “Ta-da!” distracted her from the movie, shelooked down at her nails. She smiled softly, her heart effectively warmed. Thecolors Mikey had chosen were blue, red, purple, orange, and yellow. Judgingfrom the turtle’s expression and her regular outfit, yellow represented her. “Y’know cause you’re like an honorary Hamato now…” He said softly, Aprilblinked rapidly, a grin spreading across her face. “I love it.” She said pulling him into a hug.Mikey giggled, “Hey c’mon don’t mess up my nails!” He complained, obviouslyjoking. The girl began to laugh, “You sound like Irma.” Mikey began to paint her toes when his grin became catlike, “Ooh Irma huh? Is she the goth girl you arealways making goo-goo eyes at whenever we were shadowing you to make sure youwere safe from the Kraang?” He asked, a smug tone in his voice as if he alreadyknew the answer. April’s face reddened, and she resisted the instinctive urgeto kick her friend in the face and bolt.“W-what?! No!” She exclaimed, hiding her flushed face with her still dryinghands.Mikey made a pouting noise sounding like a kicked puppy, “C’mon Apriillllllll,you’re a Hamato nowwww you gotta tell me, your sweet innocent baby brother.” Heprotested. April sent a mock glare at him, jeez now she knew why Mikey had hisolder brothers wrapped around his finger.She sighed, “Okay one, pulling the family card like that is cold. Two, you areanything but innocent. Three, stop grinning like that. Four, y-yeah that’s her…She’s so cute Mikey you don’t understand!”He finished painting her toes looking satisfied with his handiwork before leaningin close, “Tell me everything.” He replied, a serious expression on his face,poorly masking his smug grin.After a long-winded explanation of just how pretty Irma’s eyes were and abouthow they met, and Irma’s kissable lips April let out a loud groan. “I’m so gayMikester, I don’t even know my sexuality yet but I’m so gay.”Mikey giggled, bumping her shoulder reassuringly with his, “Don’t worry aboutit, Leo practically has a heart attack every time he sees a cute boy on patroland he still claims he’s straight. You’ll figure it out.” He reassured. April looked up at him from where he was doing her makeup, armed with aneyeshadow brush. “How’d you get so wise?”“I took a bunch of quizzes on BuzzFeed, I’m pan ace. Close your eyes.” Hereplied, she complied and closed her eyes, wrinkling her nose as she felt thepowder tickle her eyelids. After he finished she looked up again, “Huh, cool. I had no idea.” Mikey grinned, posing almost dramatically, added with the fact she had alreadydone his makeup he looked pretty great. “Of course you didn’t, I’m like anonion. I got layers.” He replied, struggling to keep a serious expression onhis face.April groaned loudly, “You did. Not. Just quote Shrek. Mikey no stop laughingI’m gonna pepper spray you.” She said deadpan, both knowing she was joking.Mikey stuck a defiant tongue out at her. He brightened, “Wait I just had two, (2) great ideas. First, you take someselfies and send them to Irma. And second, we water balloon my poorunsuspecting brothers.”April grinned widely, “Let’s do it.”After taking some pictures together and a few of just themselves April sentsome to Irma. They then loaded up on water balloons, Mikey already having abunch prefilled. She didn’t ask why, he was Doctor Prankenstein after all. Theysnuck out into the lair, keeping their feet light with ease given they both hadsome degree of ninja training. Raph was in the dojo practicing getting out someenergy, Donnie was in the lab, Leo was in the kitchen making tea. “Okay, to get away with an assault of this scale all at once we gotta getDonnie first, he might help since you are on my side. Then we gotta get Raphand we have to flip him, he’ll be so impressed he won’t yell. Then we get Leo,he’ll be expecting my attack with big bro instincts so you gotta get him withyours.” Mikey informed just above a whisper, April nodded seriously. They entered the lab, Donnie was working on something by the algae pool. Theduo had entered via the garage entrance rather than the clunky metal door of thelair hoping to not alert Donnie. He didn’t look up, “Oh hey Mikey I’m justcollecting some sampl- “Donatello began to say before being interrupted by awater balloon colliding with his shell, surprising him and sending him tumblinginto the pool. April let out a startled and soft laugh,“Sorry Don, do us a favor and don’t tell?” She asked, pulling him from thepool. Donnie looked bewildered and was dripping wet, he grabbed a towel from adesk, having fallen in the pool before. He opened his mouth as if to complain before catching a glimpse of the pleadingand gleeful look on April’s face before shutting it and sighing, “Okay but onlyif you are getting Raph too.”Mikey grinned wickedly, “Of course.” They slipped into the dojo, Raph was jamming out to some loud rock music withhis earbuds and hadn’t heard them come in. They gave two quick thumbs up toDonnie who was waiting in the living room with an exasperated expression. Mikeynodded to April wordlessly saying it was her turn and she pulled back and flungthe water balloon to Raph’s shell. Before he had time to react they rushedforward and grabbed both of his arms, Mikey’s leg slipping out and trippingRaph’s using the momentum to flip him over both of their shoulders. He lookedup at them stunned, taking out his earbuds. “…Nice shot.” He said surprised.Mikey and April grinned and high-fived.Last was Leo, but he was going to be the most difficult. Mikey had complainedin the past that Leo had some crazy way of telling every time he was going topull a prank, he’d bested him before but never all three of his brothers in onenight. With April’s help he was going down. Leo was sipping his tea, his Space Heroes marathon just ended so now he wasrelaxing. He swore he heard something, he frowned, narrowing his eyes andunconsciously slipped into a defensive stance. A water balloon whizzed towardshim, he dodged narrowly, it splattering on the wall behind him. “Mikeeeeeeey.” He said in his annoying big brother tone. Suddenly a waterballoon came from the ceiling and landed dead center on his plastron. He made asurprised noise as April and Mikey leaped down from the rafters they hadclimbed in order to get the drop on him, both incredibly proud of themselves.“How- how did you?” He began to ask, slightly incredulous and a littleimpressed. “We’ll never tell! Just another shocking attack by the hands of DoctorPrankenstein and Lady Pranksalot!” Mikey yelled loudly, a wide and satisfiedgrin on his face. April giggled, struggling not to burst into laughter. Donnieand Raph filed in, both still damp before pulling out a pizza from the fridgeand placing it in the microwave.Leo sighed, a fondly exasperated look on his face. “Nice job enlisting April inyour plan.” He scanned their smug faces for a second before frowning inconfusion. “Are… Are you both wearing makeup?” He asked.Mikey and April nodded, “Yeah bro makeovers are a huge part of sleepovers, duh.”Mikey replied, stealing a spare slice of pizza that had just been removed fromthe microwave, not caring the cheese slightly burned his fingers.Leo thought for a moment, “Can… Can you do mine?” The Hamatos sans Splinter who retired to bed early were all lounging on thecouch, wearing facemasks having removed their makeup after plenty ofshenanigans. April and Mikey wordlessly fist bumped, satisfied that they haddragged the others into their fun. Raph grumbled, “I can’t believe you both talked me into this.”Donnie who was blowing on his freshly painted nails to dry them looked over athim, rolling his eyes. “Raph please the second Mikey said facemasks youinsisted on trying some out. Your skincare routine is almost as intense as Leo’s.”The turtle in question made an offended noise at the teasing of his skincare.April snickered, normally she dreaded this kind of thing and avoided sleepoverswhenever possible but with the turtles she didn’t mind and if it meant spendingtime with them all aside from missions and training she’d jump at the chance todo it again. She sighed contently, feeling at home in the abandoned subwaystation of all places surrounded by the mutants who had become her family. 

[strange-down-here]

Bruises (Peter Parker Soulmate Au)

Summary: Your soulmate gets bruises everyday, making you worried sick. Your brother, Flash, accidently helps finding your soulmate.

A/n: This is my first one shot I’ve ever written in English because it’s not my main language so there are probably a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. I’ve decided to post it nevertheless because of the amazing @tommoholland2013! 

You were used to waking up in pain. The bruises on your body were becoming normal. Your soulmate was getting new ones everyday. And you were too, since you were connected with him. But still, you were worried sick. What was happening to him? You could only imagine what was going on and it drove you crazy. Who was he? What was his name? How old was he, what were his obsessions and habits? Did he like sports or was he more interested in physics, art? It was a mystery you were burning to know. But sadly you haden’t met him yet. The only evidence was the bruises.

Today you woke up to another one. This one was a large one on your hip. It was bright blue, looked fresh and ached like hell. Your whole body was covered in yellow, green and blue bruises, all from your soulmate. You took some pain killers that stood on your nightstand and gulped them down. Another thing that has become normal to you. You couldn’t do anything else against it. Standing up hurt like hell and you scrunched your face, cussing silently. Why did it have to ache so badly?

“Another bruise?” You spun around only to groan in pain. Your brother, Flash, was standing at the doorframe, his eyes covered in worry. You nodded and showed him your hip. “I’m worried”, you admitted and looked at your feet. In the next moment you were wrapped in a hug, your head leaning on his shoulder and his chin resting on your head. You heard him sigh. He was always worried about your well being, silently cursing your soulmate because he hurt you too. “It’s gonna be okay”, he whispered while caressing your back.

“I can’t do this anymore, Flash. What is happening to him? I want to get to know him and hold him in my arms, not letting him go so he is safe.”, You cried, tears making your sight blurry. He sighed again, “You have to be strong for him, for you. You will find him and everything is going to be alright.” You sniffed and wiped your tears away. He was right. You had to be strong. For him.

“You have to get ready, we’re leaving in ten.”, Flash said and let go of you. You nodded, “Yeah…”

School was tiring. Even though you had taken pain killers your hip was throbbing, keeping you awake and aware that your soulmate was hurting as well. You sat alone at the very back of the classroom, leaning your head on the desk. You couldn’t concentrate and started drifting off when your teacher Mrs Henry called your name.

“Would you pay attention, Miss Thompson?” You sighed, trying not to make it worse by saying anything back to her. Mrs Henry was a small woman in her late fifties. She was strict and unfair. She preferred some students over others and hated you because of no particular reason. She just did and gave you a hard time. Thankfully the class was over and lunch began.

You’ve put your books in your locker and looked at a photo nearly two years ago where you had no alarming bruises, no pain, no worries. You sighed and slammed your locker shut, pushing your feelings away. Time to eat, you were starving.

You were waiting for Flash to pick you up for ten minutes. You were getting annoyed, he had PE last class and he was always here on time. You sighed, sitting on the engine cowling and looked at your phone screen. No messages. You unlocked your mobile.

To Flash:

Where r u?

I’m waiting..

You turned it off and that’s when you saw the big black eye. You had a black eye. You gasped touching it. “Ow!”, you exclaimed. It hurt like hell. Some people turned to look at you, immediately finding the black eye only to see your jaw turn blue. You moaned, “What the…?”

“Seems like your soulmate gets beaten up, Thompson”, shouted a football player. “Oh fuck off!”, a sudden voice hissed. It was MJ, One of your best friends. You two befriended after you had been assigned lab partners and helped each other with homework, helped each other when one of you needed it. “I hope he’s okay”, she said. “Yeah, me too.” “If you ever need something, then call me. But you better call your brother now, see you tomorrow.” You smiled at her and dialed his number. It took a minute but he finally answered, “What’s up?” “Why are you late?”, you asked.

“Had to talk to someone, I’m sorry. Can you wait five minutes?”, he sounded out of breath. Probably because of PE. “Please, hurry. My soulmate’s got beaten up again, Flash. I have a black eye and my jaw is completely blue. It hurts and i took my last painkillers at lunch.”

You heard him suck in his breath. “No”, he whispered. “What? Flash, just come! Talking hurts like hell!”, you grumbled. You ended the call, taking a look in the front camera. “Why…”, you whispered to yourself and closed your eyes.

When your brother came into view he said no word. He looked nervous, almost guilty, only to snap at you when you asked him a few times what had happened. “Oh my god, just shut up. You’re so annoying! Can’t you just stop talking about that soulmate bullshit?” You went still, shocked to your bones. You heard him scream at some people at school but he never yelled at you. You sniffed your nose holding the tears back. You were done after all these things that happened today. He knew you were worried about your soulmate but he let you down when you needed his comfort the most.

He stopped at a red light and you took your backpack to get out of the car. “Where are you going?”, he asked annoyed, “Get in, come on!” You shook you head. “No, bye Flash.”, you said, backing your rucksack and walking down the street to your favorite cafe intending to stay there until dinner. You were angry and wanted to calm down before facing Flash again. He was a dick, yes, but you didn’t want to say things you would regret in the morning. 

After you had sat down on your usual spot in a cozy corner, you looked at your phone.

Two missed calls from Flash

(12) messages from Flash

You read them, sighing.

(Y/N)?

Where are you?

I’m sorry

Come back

Please

(Y/N)

Come on

Really?

How childish

I’m really pissed

Come back now, don’t be stupid!

Fine! Don’t come home! Piss off!

You tried holding your tears back as the waiter put your hot chocolate in front of you. “It’s on the house, sweetie.”, she rubbed your back before going back to the counter. Now, there was no holding back. You sobbed pathetically in the back corner of your favorite cafe hoping that your life would somehow change to the better.

After you had gathered yourself up again you called MJ, hoping she would pick up soon. And she did. “Hey?” “Hey, MJ. Can I stay over at your place?” “Sure, are you home?” “No, I’m at the cafe.”, you said while gathering your things, “I’m coming.”

You told her everything and she listened. MJ never interrupted you while you spoke, a thing you really appreciated about her. And at the end she told you her honest opinion. “I think it was good not to snap back at him, but I think you should talk, let him explain what happened, why he snapped at you. But only if you’re ready and in control of your emotions. If you don’t feel calm enough, you can stay over and decide tomorrow what you’ll do.”

You nodded and turned off your phone, not wanting any distraction tonight. You two were talking all night until you both eventually fell asleep.

The next day you decided to go home. It was Saturday, so you didn’t have to worry about school. Your mom scolded you and gave you house arrest. She took your phone and laptop so the only thing you could do was doing your homework since Flash was avoiding you. You tried to talk to him but he would just ignore you, so you decided not to waste your time.

It was Monday and your mom still had your phone. You’ve received another bruises on your arms and legs over the weekend. After you’ve covered your bruised up, you noticed that Flash left without you, leaving you to take the subway. “Hurry up, honey. Here’s you mobile, I think you’ll need it.”, your mom said, “Bye, love you!” You raced the stairs down to the next subway station, squeezing into the subway, holding onto a random pole. Not noticing the person next to you who had the exact same bruises on your face as you. You turned on your phone, reading the messages from MJ and your friends. You scrunched you nose.

To MJ:

Hey, MJ. My mom took my phone. I’m on the subway, cause Flash ditched me. What’s the matter?

From MJ:

Poor u.. I think I might know who ur soulmate is.

You choked on your spit nearly dropping your phone in the progress. “You’re okay?”, someone asked besides you. Surprised, you looked at him. Your chin dropped. It was Peter Parker. “Your bruises…”, you whispered with wide eyes. Your phone vibrated again.

From MJ:

It’s Peter Parker. I think I saw him yesterday and he had bruises like yours.

But you didn’t bother to read the message. You asked the probably most important question in your whole life, “Do you have a big bruise on your hip and others on your legs and arms?” His eyes went also wide, probably catching up, “Oh my god, don’t tell me… I’m so sorry… I.. are you…?” You laughed nervously, “I… how? I mean, why? I was so worried, are you okay?” He laughed, “No… I mean yes! I’m fine!” Your gaze dropped onto his shirt. It had some physics joke on it. You smiled. You had a feeling you would get along just fine. “Good, but can you tell me the reason why you’ve got those bruises?” You saw him tensing up, “ Not here. Let’s talk at school?”, he asked really nervously, fumbling with the hem of his shirt. You furrowed your eyebrows. “We don’t have any classes together today, I think.” “Ew. Monday sucks twice now… lunch?”, he asked hopefully. “Yeah, sure.”

Classes were taking forever today. Neither Flash, MJ nor Peter were in your classes, but you kept on texting with MJ.

To MJ:

He was on the subway. We talked. OMG MJ I’ve found my soulmate!

From MJ:

Do you know why he has those bruises?

To MJ:

No.. we’re talking at lunch

I’m so nervous I can’t concentrate

From MJ:

Chill, I’m sure he’ll tell you everything

To MJ:

Ur probably right but still.. It has to be serious

He seemed nervous.

From MJ:

It’s gonna be alright, don’t worry.

Finally, it was lunch. You raced to your locker, now realizing that Peter’s was across from yours, as you saw him shoving his books into his. You bit your lip and walked up to him, tapping on his shoulder. He turned around, smiling when he saw you. You found yourself smiling as well. “Ready for the real talk?”, you asked playfully. He nodded, “Just let me take this with me.” He took a bag pack out of his locker and shouldered it. You held your hand out and he took it, leading you into an empty classroom. His hands were a little bit sweaty but you didn’t mind. Your heart was beating, bursting at the seams. You sat down next to each other.

“I’ve searched so long and you have been always there. I was so dumb”, you sighed. “Do you know what Flash did last Friday”, he began, alarming you. “What happened?”, you asked, taking his hand in yours. He looked at it, then intertwined your fingers, “We were arguing like always and then I said something and he punched me in the face. He got a call and left.”

You squeezed his hand and traced his bruises with your other hand. “That pisser. That was me, telling him that my soulmate has gotten hurt again. He was mad, I left and slept at MJ’s. Got house arrest because of that”, you chuckled, tracing his lips now, “Seems like you’re a bad influence, Peter.” He sucked in his breath, eyes locked on your lips. “Am I?” You nodded, starting to lean forward. “I’m Spiderman”, he blurted. You blinked a few times, “Sorry, what?”

He opened his bag showing a familiar red and blue suit. “That’s where my bruises are from.”, he mumbled. “Oh”, you bit your lip, “My soulmate is Spiderman. Huh.” “Yeah…”, he scratched his neck. You slapped him. “Ow!” 

“Do you know how worried I’ve been? I thought you have been beaten up or something like that! Couldn’t you be a little more careful? I was crying because…”, you stopped, searching for words. “Because what?”, he asked. You breathed heavily, “Because… because I cared for you even when I didn’t know who you were.” “I’m sorry. I really am.”, he said taking your other hand in his as well, “I’m gonna make it up. I’ll make sure to make it up the next fifty years and more.” Your breath was caught in your throat, but you smiled. “That sounds okay?”, you nodded, “Good. Does that mean I also get to do this?” 

He leaned forward and when you didn’t move, closing the gap between your lips and making your knees go giddy. You kissed him back, running your fingers though his locks and pushing yourself against him. You hoped this would never have to end. He was being so gentle, running his fingers over your palm and resting his other hand on the exposed skin on your hip, where your bruise was, his fingers ghosting over it. He pulled slowly away, leaning his forehead against yours. The lunchbell rang. You sighed, of course you had to deal with reality again. And with Flash. You were going to talk to him. 

“We should go”, Peter said, eyes still closed, licking his lips. “We should, probably”, you agreed, “I’d rather stay like this.” He smiled, “Me too.” You kissed him again and whispered against his lips, “I’ll talk with Flash after school. He’s going to regret punching my soulmate.” He chuckled, “It’s okay. We got together this way”, he mumbled, kissing your cheek. “Together?”, you asked, smiling. “Well, would you like to be my girlfriend?” He looked into your eyes, smiling nervously, a tint of red on his cheeks. You nodded, “Yeah, I’d like that, soulmate.”

[ask-aui-frisk-and-flowey]

*Well, it’s a long tale, but I’ll start at, well, the start. 

*The story starts out the same. Chara has a plan, they die, give their soul to Asriel, go to the surface, Asriel can’t bring himself to fight back, they both go back to the underground, and Asriel dies. But that’s where my AU changes. I woke up, in that flowerbed. But I wasn’t soulless, that was the glitch of my universe. Me. It made no sense, sure, but I still had my monster soul, fully intact. Yet, I still couldn’t feel anything. Two options, really, my mind had blocked my feelings off, or maybe my soul was just a ghost, and not functioning as a soul. It didn’t matter. At first, I tried to feel again. I tried to see if my parents could help me. Well, you know how that goes. So then… Then I started doing the Flowey stuff. All the resets. All the things I regret. I… I did try doing some things other Floweys probably didn’t though. I tried absorbing a monster soul. Toriel’s in fact. But it didn’t work. My monster soul, even though I couldn’t feel, and had basically lost all of what made me “Asriel”, I couldn’t absorb other monster souls, despite being a flower.  I remember being so frustrated by that fact, that I went on a killing spree. I was running out of things to do, and I figured, as a flower, I could take monster souls, even if they weren’t as powerful as human souls, but my own lingering soul stopped me.

 *And then Frisk fell down. Not the Frisk that is my partner, but the Frisk from my AU. They were a small child, quite young, but as soon as I saw them, I wanted their soul. Finally, a human soul! I tried again and again to get the ones Asgore had, but either Asgore or Sans would stop me. Anyway, Frisk. When Toriel saved them from me, I followed and watched them. I was fascinated, a new toy! One that wouldn’t get old, like the rest of the underground. They travelled the underground, and they never killed, and I didn’t understand why. Monsters wanted their soul, why didn’t they want to be stronger? But they never faulted, sparing, and even making friends, with everyone. Even though I didn’t know it at the time, this was the first change within me. I couldn’t feel just yet, but this was the start. And finally, after hanging out with Papyrus, and even Undyne, Frisk reached the King. It was the first time I saw them fight. They didn’t, at first. They even let Asgore kill them a few times, looking for a better way. They tried talking to him, and they healed using the pie slice Toriel had given them. And I had already started projecting onto them at this point, as I wished Chara was like this, sweet and kind, and therefore I had started to see this human as Chara. The pie strengthened this, after all, how else would they have known to eat it? I guess I didn’t consider the fact they might have figured it out, but still. And then, as Asgore was finally weakened, they… They spared him. They couldn’t do it, they couldn’t kill him, even after dying to him repeatedly. And that’s when I stepped in.  I used my own attack on him, dusting the king. Finally, after all this time, I had gotten rid of him, the souls were mine! And I absorbed them, and dragged Frisk into a fight. And they lost, over and over, and they kept coming back. The souls wanted to help them, I could feel it, and I forced the souls to fight Frisk, and another soul would heal them, and I couldn’t stop them. They were overwhelming me, and I could do nothing. And then they rebelled. They left me, finally gathering the strength to break free. Frisk and I were alone. And I begged them to kill me, because I couldn’t get over myself and admit defeat. I didn’t really want to die. And they spared me. They refused to kill me. And I didn’t understand. And I ran away, ducking under the ground and leaving. I didn’t make it far. You see, I had made a mistake. During the fight, I had enough power to take Frisk and myself out the world, maybe even into the void. But that didn’t matter, when I lost the power, we were brought right back. But we ended up in the barrier. Now, I don’t think this was because of the fact I had a monster soul and 6 human souls at the time, as I brought Frisk with me, and the AUI had it on record of other Floweys doing the same thing. But now, I only had a monster soul, and I was stuck.  Frisk was stuck. So I turned around and started looking for them. But we were both lost in a mess designed to be impassable. And I looked for what felt like forever. I don’t know how time passes inside the barrier, but I can tell you, Frisk and I were trapped for months.  Yet neither of us seemed to tire or grow hungry. It was strange. Anyway, I had nearly given up looking for them. Hope seemed lost, but that’s when I heard it. A phone rang. I followed the noise. I heard Sans’ voice. And there I found them. They were holding the phone, crying. But they couldn’t seem to say anything. And Sans hung up. And they started crying louder. And then I approached them. I told them that if they reloaded their save, and befriended Alphys, they could get a better ending. And so they did it. I’m unsure why they didn’t reload sooner. Maybe they didn’t know they could? Who knows, I never ended up asking.

 *And then we were both back, And Frisk was before the Asgore fight. And they did as told. They helped Alphys and Undyne, and went through the true lab, and at this point, I felt sure. Even though, honestly, they looked nothing like Chara, I felt so sure that they were. And as everyone they had befriended gathered around them, and I came in, after already absorbing the human souls, I had become too carried away. I knew that all the souls in the underground would make up the power equivalent of a human soul, and I would have 7 human souls, enough to achieve my true form. But, as expected, it didn’t work. The entire underground just ended up unconscious. I was lucky, unknown to me at the time, that action could have ended up with the universe destroying itself. Luckily, everyone who’s soul I had tried to take just passed out. And that left just Frisk and myself. Last time, the souls had rebelled. Now, they tried something new. And as I stared at Frisk, I couldn’t hide anymore. I knew they weren’t Chara, and I knew I had been lying to myself.

 *And I knew I could feel everything.

 *I began to cry. It was all too much. The scared little flower, crying. And Frisk reached down, and hugged me. And I asked them, I asked for their soul. Just to borrow it, I wouldn’t kill them. I knew I had done so much wrong, and I wanted to right it. I wanted to break the barrier. I took their soul, and they passed out. I used the power of the seven souls to finally free monsters Then I freed the souls, giving Frisk theirs back. And as Frisk woke up, I stood in my true form, Asriel. The others were still out, and I told Frisk the truth. Who I was, what I had done, and who I had mistaken them for. And they forgave me, hugging me. I told them, without the souls, I’d turn back into a flower. The others were stirring. I told Frisk to tell the others the barrier was broken, and then come find me. And I left. Back to the ruins. Back to their grave. I was scared. What if Frisk didn’t come back? What would I do? But after a while, they came. They told me that the others would leave soon, and now everyone knew their name. I told them I couldn’t come with. I’d turn back into a flower, and I had one last request of them. I summoned my soul, and gave it to Frisk. I told them to take it with them, and when off the mountain, maybe near those flowers, destroy it. I had done so much bad, and now I broke the barrier, the best action for me would be to finally be at peace. I wanted to be free. And they were sad, that was clear. But they agreed, and left me there.

 *I had hoped my monster form would hold until Frisk did what I had asked. I wanted to die in my true form, but I found myself a flower once again. And I still waited. Only a short while after, I felt it. “Ah, that must have been Frisk crushing my soul.” I felt so calm, so ready. I expected to feel myself fade away, and be at peace, finally. But nothing happened. A cold emptiness flooded in. I was finally soulless, but not dead. I wanted to scream, to cry. I wanted to die, not still be here! This wasn’t fair. But I was in shock, and all I did was stare. Stare up into the light that was flooding down. And then, I wasn’t alone anymore. Someone else was there. I turned, but it wasn’t someone I knew. It was a skeleton. There were too odd things I noticed about him immediately. First, there were cracks in his face, second, he was wearing a lab coat that said “AUI” on it. He introduced himself as “Gaster”, a boss of the AUI. He explained what the AUI was, and I didn’t understand why he was telling me this. He laughed, and explained he wanted me to come join. I was in a glitched AU, and I had handled it well, finding a way to break the barrier despite it all. I broke it to him that I had done terrible things, and he laughed, and said that he knew, and that he had too. And he offered to take me away, to join the AUI. And well…

 *But after I first joined the AUI, I felt really bad. After all, Frisk hadn’t wanted to do what I had forced them to do. I had done what Chara had done before. And that made me think. What if, like Chara and myself, Frisk hadn’t actually done what I had asked. What would they do? If they tried to find me, I was long gone. I wonder about them, sometimes…