#im conflicted abt how i feel abt it tbh like i like it but i feel like. i mean its close enuf. its fine.

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

trimax version of this drawing this means i officially gotta draw a tristamp version

the Stampede version as well

[10hourshift]

Still thinking about Bonnie (tragic)

[quirkle2]

I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?

VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery

ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny

but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out

in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it

besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!

tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood

when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)

actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3

[landofgay]

y'all pls hype me up to quit my job today I'm shaking and nauseous from how anxious I am

[spectralpooch]

why does akira hate me

[theghostofwilburtheworm]

WHJAT???

[loooong rant abt arcane s2 finale on the tags sorry i have many toughs]

[keyotos]

book lover

summary ⎯ you rant about your book to alhaitham. he takes the time to admire you during your tangents.

tags ⎯ fluff. idk its just really cute. soft alhaitham idk what to tell you. you and alhaitham are two little book nerds that read physical books together and rant abt them. u2 are giving old happily married couple tbh.

tana's words ⎯ idk mane im in love. but BLADE trailer came out today so idk..... feeling a little bit i'm abt to commit an infidelity

you looked very conflicted as your eyes scanned the words of the book you were currently reading. to any other person, you looked rather focused. your face was pensive and your eyes were fixated on the novel you were reading.

but to alhaitham (who thinks and hopes he's the one that knows you the most), he realizes you're disconcerted by the novel you're reading. it's the way you're slightly pouting (almost frowning) your lips as you continue reading, like you're dissatisfied. your eyes aren't focused, but instead they were crinkled with confusion. what you're actually focused on is how much more ludicrous this book could get.

alhaitham picks his book back up again and continues his book, "murder on the orient express," by margaret atwood. something you recommended to him. alhaitham started it right after he finished the book he was reading previously, forgetting about the other books on his shelf.

alhaitham was nearly halfway into the novel when he turned his head to check on you again. this time, there was no doubt you looked pained. your eyes were narrowed with incredulity as you read the rest of the passage. you were biting your lip and your grip on the book was tight. you wanted to say something, alhaitham figured out.

so alhaitham puts down his book on the nightstand and stretches. he wraps his hands around your waist and moves closer to you, his head now resting on your shoulder. he reads a few passages here and there. and the way you slow down as you read does not elude him: he knows you're just waiting for him to finish his passage.

you two stay like this for a while. alhaitham's hands are wrapped around your body as his head lays comfortably on your shoulder. he presses a few kisses to your neck here and there, never failing to make you heat up. he's pulled you closer into him by now; you're on the verge of sitting on his lap in the bed. but even during this relaxing moment, you couldn't help but feel stress. it's probably because of this god-awful book you're reading.

you let out a loud sigh, slamming your book shut and not even bothering to bookmark it (you're a dog-earer; alhaitham thinks you're despicable for it). you lay it down on your nightstand before you take the time to melt into alhaitham's touch. once you've put your book down, you take a deep breath, and alhaitham swears he feels life return back into you.

alhaitham presses a quick kiss to your jaw, "are you okay?"

you faintly smile at him, "fine." and alhaitham knows what will come next. alhaitham studies you; he tries to dissect your every word and expression; and most of all, he always wants to find out more about you, despite having being with you for a long time already.

your smile disperses, now followed by a scowl, "i lied. i'm not fine," you rubbed your eyes with your hands as alhaitham listened to you, "can your brain hurt after reading something so terrible? my brain feels like it aged fifty years and i'm not even finished with this god-awful book. nothing in here makes sense, the plot is rudimentary at most, and the characters are making me want to rip my hair out," you ranted, your hands going to massage your temples because of how angry you were getting.

"and it's not just that too," you continued. alhaitham's eyes were on you; listening to every word, watching your eyes, and your lips. he wanted to kiss you into peace, but he also loved hearing your tirades. the way your voice became so passionate and wild made him feel things that he thought he wouldn't have felt before.

"the plot barely makes any sense. like, you're telling me grown people act like this? these people are two decades older than us, haitham," he feels himself melt at the sound of his name, nodding along to your tangent so you know he's listening, "but they act like teenagers! like... don't you have jobs? lives?" you pick up the covers that enshroud your body and proceed to let out the loudest groan into them.

you pulled down the covers, letting out a deep sigh. "sorry, i had to get that out," you turned to look at alhaitham, only to see him staring right back at you.

"i guess you're not recommending that one," alhaitham joked, removing his hands from your waist and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pressing you against him. he presses a kiss to your temple as he feels you breath slowly.

"definitely not," you shook your head, now leaning onto alhaitham's shoulder, "the thing was, my friend recommended that to me. so, i don't know if they hate me or not, because there's no way they'd genuinely think this book was good."

alhaitham hummed, "maybe they were trying to gauge your reaction," alhaitham's hand slipped under your shirt and started tracing shapes on your bare collarbone, "like you did to me that one time," alhaitham adds, tone lifting with mock-exasperation.

you laugh, and alhaitham thinks the sound is absolutely heavenly. sometimes, especially during long nights in the akademiya, he dreams of your laughter and your smile. the sound is so melodic that any other laugh became incomparable and unrivaled by yours.

"okay, that was pretty funny though," you poked his cheek, grinning, "i almost spit out my drink when you got to that one sex scene. i thought you'd never take any recommendations from me ever again," you joyfully reminisced, letting yourself sink into alhaitham's warmth.

"'how fast you go. you arrive at a conclusion much sooner than i would permit myself to do,'” alhaitham quotes. his hands travel farther down your shirt as he allows himself to kiss your neck.

you ignore his actions, turning to him suddenly, "you're reading murder on orient express?" your eyes widen.

alhaitham's expression remains neutral, still kissing your body, "of course. i read everything you recommend me." he didn't expect you to be so shocked. he regards your opinion with high value.

your eyes still remain wide, not moving away from his face as alhaitham mindlessly rubs his hands up and down your torso, "even the bad ones?"

alhaitham chuckles, "even the bad ones. but, if it makes you feel better, you haven't recommended me any terrible books yet. at least, not as terrible as the one you're reading currently."

you sigh, looking at the disgraced book on the nightstand, "yeah... i don't think books can get worse than that one," you turn back to run your hand through alhaitham's hair, sorting out a few strands here and there. alhaitham quietly hums as you do so, sounding pleasantly satisfied.

"why are you reading murder on the orient express so soon? thought you had that other book to read about," you quietly asked.

"because i love you. and i want to experience what you experienced," alhaitham says it like it's the easiest thing in the world. i love you. i want to experience things with you. it makes your heart flutter infinitely through the stars. you've read countless romance novels through your years, yet no author would be able to word love as well as alhaitham did.

you smile wide, and alhaitham thinks if he was a dying man, seeing your smile would allow him to survive for decades. too flustered to say anything, you tuck yourself into the nape of his neck, hiding from his prying eyes.

you know alhaitham. you are aware that he knows you just as well as you know him. you know that, with one glance, alhaitham is probably able to determine every single thought you're thinking. with one word from your mouth, alhaitham understands you immediately, no need to elaborate. it's long lasting, the mutual understanding the both of you have.

yeah, alhaitham can read you like a book. he takes great satisfaction in doing so, as well.

you grab his chin and tilt his head down to meet yours, giving him a chaste kiss on his lips. you grin once again (a sight alhaitham will never get sick of) and turn off the lamp next to your bed. you whisper, "good night," in his ear and cover yourself with the sheets as you drift off into sleep, content with this night despite the horrible book.

alhaitham softly smiles, even chuckles a little bit about how fast you went to bed. he traces your jawline with his thumb before turning off his light and pulling you closer into him.

alhaitham usually does not reread books. but, if you were a book, he'd think he would reread you over and over again, because every time he finds something new to love about you, there is always more. you reel him in more than any hook. you interest him more than any other topic. you grab his attention more than any other story.

maybe he's over exaggerating. but that's no big deal for now. for now, alhaitham will just enjoy you and your presence. and he will reread you the next time he has a chance.

umm idk if that ending made sense but it's like 4am rn and idrc. alhaitham is prob ooc in this but whateva bc i like my men to be nice bc I CAN CHANGE THEM!! anyway srry if this don't make sense its 4am rn

[menlove]

i saw on some of your posts that you say you aren’t an india truther, out of curiosity what do you think caused john and paul to have a fallout? do you think the resentment was more gradual and happened over 68-69? im sorry if you’ve answered this before but i love hearing about people’s theories of what happened in india and the aftermath.

sorry I totally forgot to answer this but for me.... hm. tossing under a readmore bc it got long oops

I think it was more gradual. like the way they act w each other in the get back sessions & just in general speaks more to something more unspoken happening than some big dramatic break up or rejection, at least to me. esp given how john & yoko lived with paul for a while in the summer of 68 (and talk about the world's worst throuple)

I wouldn't say I don't think Anything happened in india, but imo it seems more like.... I saw someone talking about how up until that point they were all on a lot of drugs & india was them getting off them for a minute & they sort of looked around and went "what the fuck are we doing? do I even know these people?" and that rings the most true to me I think.

some of the bigger reasons I have my doubts abt india being some huge thing where they fucked for the first time and paul rejected john are a) they still got along after that. things were weird but not much weirder than they'd been after brian's death b) paul wrote "i will" in india and I've talked before about how I'm 100% convinced that's about john and to me "will I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to I will" doesn't sound like the words of someone about to do any rejecting c) the infamous blowing the mic scene in get back is way too lighthearted and makes paul blush and giggle like they're just referencing fucking as a part of their relationship that happened enough to not be disarming. doesn't seem like john is being bitter or trying to egg him on and paul isn't reacting like someone that got called out for fucking john and then rejecting him. it reads more, to me, like just two lovers slyly joking around about a time they fucked that no one else can know about

which brings me to d) I'm also a "they had a sexual relationship" truther (which would be a whole other essay tbh) and so For Me Personally that just doesn't jive w smth big and dramatic happening in india. I just don't think they ever talked about what the fuck was going on between them, whatever it was, and then the typical band breakdown reasons coincided w a breakdown of their personal relationship as well. like just sort of dying out without much fanfare which can honestly be worse than some big rejection or breakup. and then ofc john goes full in with yoko and paul flounders around trying to settle down with a woman and marry her in such a weirdly frantic way. like that quote where he asks if he was supposed to be a 26 year old queer that never got married....... I would wager, imo, that things breaking down w john & then jane would've lead him to a bit of a Crisis about all that. but he found linda and went all in w her and she wound up pregnant so there you go.

which would lead them to a really weird place by the get back sessions, which I at least feel like is reflected pretty well- this awkward tension, paul's nervous desperation, nostalgia for the old times, lingering sexual tension. but not the attitude like they hated each other yet or had some big breakup or rejection. they're still joking and flirting, it's just awkward. the Big Moment would've been something else after that imo, probably john announcing he wanted a divorce but could've also been something more private that would go a long way to explaining why they were basically not on speaking terms at all by the abbey road sessions

again this is all Purely Speculation. mostly based on my more conflicting view from the fandom at large that they did have a sexual relationship and paul isn't as repressed/clueless as he puts on. so w those Two Beliefs in mind, this is sort of the trajectory that would make the most sense to me!

of course, without those two Core McLennon beliefs of mine I can see why people would point to india as the game changer if they think paul is a repressed bisexual who thinks he's straight while john pined over him. like it would make sense in that scenario if that's where the tension snapped & it was just a mess after that. but I very firmly and adamantly don't believe that so it's just hard for me to see the india theory as anything solid when there's a lot of other explanations for why india was such a shitshow

but all that is just me personally! don't have shit to back it up beyond what I can bring up about the evidence of a sexual relationship and paul being closeted that then lead me to these speculations based on that but yeah lmao

(and fun fact lmao whenever we publish it this is gonna be like half of the story of "i need you" so yall will get to see my fully baked opinion there mixed w just what I think would be fun or angsty dbshsjss)

[qoldenskies]

prev ask abt donnie being all sparkly eyed abt twin sense and leo shutting his mouth and letting his (little) brother have this eeeeeeee /pos

also would love to hear you talk more abt raph+leo and donnie+mikey dynamics

i could talk for hoooours about raph and leo's dynamic specifically because they are SO interesting and im sure it shines through in the way that i write them at least a little, because i do like getting the chance to pair them together and make them riff off each other. what can i say, they're fun when they're bickering about nothing (or, they're actually bickering about something but leo gets offended and derails it and raph takes the bait) and they're fun when they get along and comfortably colead, or when they just have one whole braincell when they put their heads together

i also really enjoy the potential of a post-movie dynamic where when leo is more comfortably situated into a leadership role being a really important voice of reassurance for raph, more than he already is at least. leo could come in and help calm raph down and tell him it's not so bad/it's going to be okay, but i think raph KNOWING there's someone else who knows how to care of everything is going to seriously help his blood pressure lmfao. especially because leo responds to stress more competently and is a lot better at making structured plans on the fly.

honestly i would love to see more hurt/comfort or whump with these two where raph is the one going Through It especially because leo is actually pretty protective of him in canon, he always gets the MOST upset/offended when people fuck with raph in particular. leo knows very very well that raph is easily upset and he gets angry when people push him around and take advantage of that. unless he gets to do it but if he did raph totally had it coming (/lie)

and when i talk about how second oldest leo feels key to their dynamic i mostly mean when it comes to their conflict like ... raph holds leo to a higher standard than he does anyone else, at first at least. he's always telling him to take responsibility, trying to catch him out in a lie, and arguing with him about the way forward,, and like, leo having a more contrarian personality and being easily suspicious of people (especially because he's so perceptive) is a big reason for this, but i think raph and leo kind of being in their own camp as the oldest two would explain this trait and explain why raph puts so much focus on leo shaping up specifically. i also notice that raph is a lot more comfortable making fun of leo which plays into it LOL

^^^ and post-movie a lot of these problems are resolved-- raph learned pretty early on (in bug busters, probably) that taking things seriously and not listening to leo just for the sake of it was only going to lead them into danger, and in the movie leo learned that being uncooperative and petulant as a defense mechanism was only going to hurt his family and himself by extension-- but i also think there's a lot of angst potential in this dynamic on both sides tbh. it's pretty apparent they fought/fight so much because they fundamentally just misunderstand each other. leo is trying to 4D chess his way out of this unwanted responsibility but it doesnt work at all on raph who is so direct-- raph just keeps trying to lecture leo and make him understand because he's not picking up any of leo's cues at all. really all of their problems would be solved by direct communication but leo would rather die than do that (<- kind of literally? he comes close) and raph doesn't really strike me as someone who's very good at articulating himself and laying all his cards out on the table, he has a lot of emotions that are difficult to put into words. means they can scuffle lots and that's fun

[transfemkaladin]

final thoughts on wind and truth:

it was kind of mid. like it was Fine but it felt a lot weaker than the others yaknow

i like adolin, okay? i like shallan as well. i like them a LOT. but their povs (also jasnah’s and dalinar’s) just kind of. dragged a little for me?

kaladins therapist arc was fun (he gave therapy to a talking sword. on ACCIDENT. that’s fucking hilarious) but felt a little unsatisfying. the whole time he was talking with szeth i felt frustrated bc like. idk

and don’t even get me STARTED on the “‘no,’ kaladin said. ‘im his therapist’” line. that bit was ASS. it broke the tone and tension of the scene unnecessarily, in a way that hindered rather than enhanced the storytelling, and for what. an unfunny joke.

by the way. for a book that was theoretically supposed to focus on szeth i really wish it had done more of that. yeah he got more pov chapters and stuff but also i came away. not knowing nearly as much about shinovar as i would’ve liked. which is a personal preference thing (maybe i just liked elid a lot tbh. i do think she should’ve gotten at least one pov chapter)

oh THATS what it was. the only outside perspective we really got of szeth was kaladin’s. i think seeing how szeth was perceived by others while living in shinovar would’ve been a good addition.

ishar’s plotlines felt unsatisfying as well. like all that shit with torturing spren and putting them into physical bodies, and then it was just written off as “oh yeah that was just part of his insanity 👍”. like yeah it was but i wish it had gone somewhere

GAVINOR. the loose end of all time to me. what the fuck happened to him after the duel. does he remember his secret handshake with lift.

i miss navaniel. toxic yuri please come back to me. with sadalinar and navaniel and kalmoash all gone and kaladin and shallan healing there’s no one to be toxic and insane anymore. it’s just taravangian. we need more interpersonal problems we need more people sabotaging and fucking shit up for no reason

im also sad abt the venli povs bc she was one of my favorite povs in past books. but then in this one she was just There. where is her conflict. she didn’t even swear an ideal or anything.

tbh i think that’s probably my main problem with the book. the plotlines were all interesting and i liked getting to know more about shinovar (and i never really cared about szeth before so im glad we got to know him more!) but it all just felt like it was kind of There. maybe it was bc of the short timeframe but everything just kinda Dragged a little and everyone was kind of There. there’s only so far you can stretch the tension on that contest of champions, and when you spend over 1300 pages covering ten days? everything starts to feel a little like a filler episode.

also a lot of things just felt kind of underwhelming. the truth behind the recreance? eh. the stormfather being tanavast? eh. chana being shallan’s mom? eh. this was probably bc of the tension problem at least a little though

to be clear, i didn’t hate it. there was a lot i enjoyed- it’s just that the parts i enjoyed weren’t really given as much narrative emphasis, and the short timeframe of the story made my sense of pacing weird.

[mcytegg]

so i was thinking abt all of the people that mane and flame seem to be a bit more biased towards— like they will kill anyone tbh but seem to generally spare the lower heart players who truly cant do anything to stop them and have no one able or willing to do it for them bc they arent people "worth killing", in manes words. i assume bc all theyre doing is existing, they cant fight so killing them isnt even a little satisfying, and nobody seems to care abt them enough to stop it when it happens

BUT. they also seem especially partial to players like pangi, planet, woogie, and jumper specifically and i feel like a very large part of that is bc they have continued to view and treat them the same regardless of what mane or flame do. theyre kind of like actual, true neutral players bc they want no involvement in conflict so they treat EVERYONE w the same blanket level niceness

like YES im certain pangi and jumper at least are afraid of them to some capacity, but they never run away or let it affect their interactions w them. all four of them treat them w the same silliness and have fun w them in ways they simply cant w others— bc others very understanably want to kill them, or are afraid of being killed by them LOL

and i feel like that is what influences mane and flame to seek them out and to never directly hurt them if they can help it. like theres no reason to hurt them and hurting them puts the hesitant hope? belief? they seem to have in mane and flame not to kill them at risk

like even WHEN mane killed pangi yesterday, he APOLOGIZED for it saying he needed the heart and that he'd pay him back. which was interesting bc he did actually kill pangi twice awhile back when trying to get pangi to hate him and kill him, but after pangi just allowed it to happen and chose not to fight back against him that was how he realized targetting just anyone wouldnt....work. so he stopped. and he has since stopped targetting weaker players in that sense.

mane also chose to give planet not one but TWO of his own hearts. like yes, the second time he gave planet one of his own hearts he did very much kill planet himself twice as silly lil game. and didnt get the heart for one of the kills. but he gave both hearts back, one of those hearts being one of his own and while i do like pushing my spacelion agenda i do just think mane likes having people who he can hang out w and be silly with regardless of the Lore yk?

[lunarisverysilly]

Silly Helluva Boss Rant/Critic

!Spoiler Warning!

NOTE: I Am NOT A Professional Writer, This Is My OPINION On Season 2. If Opinions Trigger You, Dont Read.

i have so much to say about this stupid show oh my gosh where do i even start?

honestly i just miss the older episodes of the show, like season 1, when it was just silly demon comedy and viv wasnt trying to add depth to the characters. even though originally i liked the idea of more depth in the show when episode 7 happened. but clearly viv doesnt know how to write characters. blitz(obviously cuz hes the main character) and verosika(somehow) are the only half decent characters imo. but thats not saying much

i love the shorts though. they feel like mini season 1 episodes.

in episode 7, it introduced a conflict between stolas and blitz. but then it put it off the ENTIRE SEASON til full moon which was 8 episodes. and in those 8 episodes, blitz and stolas just acted like nothing happened?? no mention of it at all?

and full moon was hyped up so much for what? there was like 5 minutes of actual stolitz. the entire episode was basically about the cherubs, agents, and blitz buying sex toys.

and all the conflict is so fucking forced. all these fucks need to do is communicate omg. like in full moon , if stolas let blitz talk to him at the end, we'd be done. blitz clearly has a hard time opening up and being vunerable but he was about to actually talk with stolas BUT NO stolas teleports him outside so they can stretch it on a couple more episodes! and then in sinsmas when stolas and octavia are fighting if octavia just listened, it would be over. but of course, we still need more drama even though the show was better WITHOUT it.

mastermind wasnt all that good tbh. i feel like it needed more time. and the fake out deaths bored me. viv already confirmed that the end of season 1 would have canon stolitz so obviously they werent gonna kill blitz or stolas. but andrealphus' plan made no sense. like, it completely depended on stolas watching tv at the exact time the broadcast happened and there being no live delay. comedy was actually pretty good though. and the stolas poor arc seems fun.

and the only slightly good that came out of the stolitz mess was ghostfuckers(aka the millie episode) cuz blitz was sad abt stolas. but im very glad we got that because i started watching around like episode 2 release(which means i waited 4 YEARS) and i always really liked millie(i love strong women) and im actually quite happy with it even if blitz was still technically in the spotlight more. but also shes pregnant. wow. but i feel like the show needed something like that. because i doubt they can stretch the octavia and stolas shit a whole seasons length. so their gonna need something else to bring drama because they love drama.

and unhappy campers. i fucking hate unhappy campers. it baited everyone into thinking it was the millie episode. but she says like two lines that mean something for her character. and moxie felt so ooc too. it was so unfunny. i watched it straight faced. season 2 hasnt been focused on comedy as much as before and its obvious. but usually i at least let out a small chuckle once or twice. BUT NOT THIS EPISODE. and the barbie wire stuff felt shoved in. it literally came out of nowhere. it was just such a shit episode entirely.

fucking stolas used to be my favorite character but all the self-victimizing shit was so annoying especially in apology tour. he said blitz made him uncomfortable but what about all the times he made others umcomfortable? like in harvest moon, when he called blitz blitzy in front of everyone and blitz is clearly embarrassed?? and when he started talking about blitz' dick IN FRONT OF HIS DAUGHTER??? stop acting like a victim, stolas. you arent. i think maybe he got a little better in sinsmas but barely. and this isnt story related, but stolas' voice actor has such a good vocal range?? like the apology tour song blew me away. i love his voice so much.

oh my god, dont get me started on how viv treats octavia.. i used to love octavia and still kinda do... but now theres 3 episodes of just her being mad at her father and its getting REALLY repetitive. and yea, she does have the right to be mad at him because stolas sacrificed himself for blitz, thinking he would die(even if he didnt) which probably hurt her a lot. but i was hoping sinsmas would show us more of her as a person, like her hobbies(ig they showed her singing but so does everyone else in the show soo), her interests, literally anything about her but her being mad at stolas. i was hoping we'd finally see how her and stella feel about eachother. but no. they talked once but could you even call it talking cuz all stella did was take her phone while laughing and octavia didnt say anything. she was clearly annoyed with her mother but that doesnt really give us a dynamic. and also in stolas and vias argument at the end of sinsmas, it felt like she was purposely taking everything he said the wrong way just for more drama. especially about the happy pills thing. stolas said she was the only good thing in his life so she then says shes an obligation. LIKE NO, hes saying he cares. which yea, he might kinda be bad dad but he does try his hardest and she could at least acknowledge that but still be disappointed.

and stella. i was hoping they would end up doing something with her like giving her a back story that made her so bitchy or something. but then the first ep of season 2 turns her into just a villian. she was just born evil apparently because that totally happens. shes literally nothing but a plot device. and im not against plot devices if they actually do their job. like isha from arcane for example, shes a plot device for jinx development but she actually does her job. shes interesting enough and gives you all you need from a plot device. but stella literally just leaves you wanting more. shes barely a character. we know nothing about her. all she does is start more meaningless drama. shes not even likable as a villain.

now, verosika(AKA best character). shes actually kind of well written? i wish we had more of her this season but also dont because they probably wouldve ruined her too. she only had a 5 minute convo with blitz in apology tour but it made me love her so much more. and her trying to help others after blitz hurt them like he hurt her is so sweet. and then her giving blitz cake, acknowedgling he hates himself just as much as everyone else at this party. i love her sm bro. unrelated but her design is so nice. and she looks so good in all her outfits. loved her fit in the 1 second of screentime she had in mastermind. and i immdediatley recognized her voice in the chrsitmas party song and got so happy

also on the official yt video for the verosika song, the second comment said "I guess Blitzo finally enjoys her music now after, I can imagine, years of it tormenting him with guilt and regret" and i would like to agree with that statement.

i think thats all my criticism. so uh.. bye

[imaginespazzi]

PARTTTT 8

- NIVIII BBBYYY HIIIIII just wanted to say ilysm

- 9k????? OH MY YOU GODDESS I CANT

- anyways onto reading…!

- the first theme being angst.. yeah the cliff and i abt to be like 🤞 🤞

- girl don’t even stress abt the missed timeline PLEASE!! you have been spoiling us so much. i hope you have an amazing vacation you def deserve one!! The weekly update will be missed ofc but as i’ve said before, your updates are always worth the wait 🩷🩷

- me too azzi girl #liarabtmyfeelings

- OH GOD I JUST NOTICED ITS 2025 IM SCARED

- AAILYAH HI BBYYY #bluntqueen

- lexie…babe thanks for your lack social awareness 🥰🥰 giving us a pazzi reunion however, im shaking in my boots rn

- hey so just thought you should know, you finally got tears out of my eyes! could be the fact my day has sucked but i am crying over azzi saying she’s proud of paige and paige being shocked. my soul has been harmed😢

- so off topic but jewell and paige’s friendship is so cute.

-paige fumbling over her feet to get away from azzi. i just know the details of their breakup are gonna the lash thing read before i take my last breath.

- a world where paige and azzi go three months without speaking is one i fear.

- okay my stomach hurts. paige’s anger is so valid, it really is but my god not too much on azzi… my heart can’t take it.

- “We’re not together and I can flirt or kiss or fuck-” she flinches, “anyone if I want to.” i flinched too!

- paige hun pretending is just going to make it hurt more later. istg u and your evil geniuses… IM SO SCARED THAT THEY ARE PRETENDING TO MUCH IN THE NOW AND THEY ARE GONNA GET HIT BY A TRUCK. (not an actual truck but like yk)

- GOD AZZI PULLING AWAY FIRST AGAIN. PAIGES FACE.

- stop paige ☹️

- yeah where’s my cliff at? i might as well pay rent.

- “if only you’d just let me hold you in front of the world written all over Paige’s face.” yeah so the cliff isn’t enough anymore. seems to easy of a way to go.

- FOREPLAYING. MADISON?!!!!! INFRONT OF CHILDREN???? girl.

- stephie is a smartie for her attempts in guilt tripping paige.. i don’t think paige has ever actually used the word no around her tbh

- OH GODDAMN PAIGE. she’s been talking to aaliyah i see with her bluntness! i feel like ur anon (the emoji one holding the baby) BUT CAN THESE BITCHES FUCK ALREADY?!!! i don’t even need details BUT GODDAMN.

- god. i get where paige’s doubt is coming but girl please just let azzi talk instead of just hanging up 😭

- i however fear i would’ve hung up too…

- “I called because I hung up without saying goodnight to Stephie and just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I’m gonna miss saying goodnight to her.” and just like that i’m screaming😊 since we decided the cliff wasn’t enough… i’m thinking fire ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 because that’s how my heart feels!

- yes teammates def carpool!!! the end all smiles! great chapter!

- MS. FRENCHIE WENT TO MOTHER DAUGHTER MOVIE NIGHT??? what the fuck. jana may be a child of divorce (can it even be called that if azzi said no to marriage?) BUT PAIGE CANT BE REPLACED!!

- hey so i just read the paragraph abt love and yeah maybe fire then flinging myself off the cliff will be enough? oh and im crying again.

- oh

- my

- god

- i am full on sobbing rn

- i did not see this coming

- PAIGE SAYING I HATE YOU😭😭 after that whole paragraph of azzi thinking abt how paige loved every part of her imperfections and all. u planned that nivi u evil genius.

- “she loves being seen with me, she loves being known as my wife” god does paige even love her or just being seen with someone who loves her? god i’m starting to feel really bad for mrs. cunt. these divorce papers need to be signed already.

- “why couldn’t you have just loved me enough” paige bby:( stop i feel so conflicted. like part of me is upset with azzi for how much pain paige is in BUT THEN IM LIKE NO NO NO azzi had her reasons which were valid and outside of how much love she has for paige. BUT GOD MY POOR PAIGE.

- i need azzi to get off this phone call RIGHT NEEEEOOWWW. get this girl a hug PLEWSEEEEE hearing this is harming my soul for azzi

- “i think i’ll miss you forever” OKAY LANA DEL REY💋💋💋

- OH GOD MS. FRENCHIE VS PAIGE FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

- yk ms. frenchie im kinda a fan of you. i mean i want azzi far far away from you but i’m glad azzi had someone completely on her side.

- OH HE DID NOT JUST INSULT STEPHIE LIKE THAT.

- AZZI FUDD THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. BEAT A BITCH UP😛YESSSSSSS!!!🥇🥇🥇

- i was expecting paige to get violent but oh this was so much better. rereading this i don’t know why i was expecting paige bueckers to harm someone else??

- okay tension 🔥🔥

- “we can’t keep throwing the past in each other’s face, Paige.” AZZI I AGREE but also please YALL can we talk abt the past because im scared if they keep ignoring it, it’s gonna blow up

- GOD paige is constantly just in panic mode of “is azzi gonna leave again” and like i get, i do but im actually terrified of how this is gonna come back and hurt them.

- “baby you are the exception to all of my rules.” oh okay just rip my heart out that’s fine i don’t need it anyways.

- im literally laying on my floor complicating life

- yk are these freaks abt to break their rules and have a sleepover…

- OKAYYY FUTURE CHAPTER YAP SESSION TIMEEEEEE OR LIKE question time ig?

- okay so ms. frenchie DIDNT WANT CHANGE TEAMS??? DAMN. is this like known to the team? wait u may have said this already so oops but what position did ms. frenchie play? was anyone else traded out to get paige or just her?

- can we just take a moment for some ice brady appreciation! i love her and paige’s friendship.

- OKAY SO i take it paige doesn’t remember the call..?

- okay question ive been dying to ask butttt are we ever gonna get a nika feature?????

- im legit on the edge of my seat dying to find out more details abt their breakup

- okay that’s all i got… im always so amazed with how much your other anons always pick up 😭😭 im always too involved in my own emotions to notice your small details then i read others recaps and im LIKE DAMN OK OK NIVI I SEE U.

-also sorry for the shorter review i was kinda crying and screaming too much to think

- ANNND i fear ms. frenchie is gonna have to stick bc i can never remember how to spell her name… (plus like u said she wasn’t gonna play a big role so WHATTEEVVVEEESS)

- anyways hear to say even though sometimes i think you enjoy putting me at the bottom of my cliff you’re still my favorite evil genius!!🩷

- 🤩🤩

Hiiii bby 🫶🏾

- Thank you so much lovely!! Hopefully not writing for a bit will make me miss it so much that I suddenly lose my ability to procrastinate after I get home.

- Omg I don't know if I should apologize or take it as an honor that I finally made you cry. 😭

- I loveeee Jewell so much and I absolutely adore that she and Paige seem to get along so well. It make me so happy.

- The word no absolutely does not exist in Paige's dictionary when it comes to Stephie (or Azzi for that matter)

- LMAO everyone just waiting for these gays to fuck lol

- Oooooh from jumping off cliffs to burning in fires, this journey of yours through nature is quite interesting 😭

- Mrs Cunt and Miss Frenchie makes me laugh every time lmao

- I try really hard to keep y'all sympathetic towards both Paige and Azzi so that you feel this way for both of them makes me really happy. They're just in an awful situation really. (WHO DID THAT?? 🤪)

- Communication is so important. They really should listen to you and talk....but will they?

- Clémence is likely a guard but idk if I'm ever gonna specify that so it's up to y'all really.

- Nika feature for sure at some point! Honestly a fair amount of cameo to go because I can in fact drag this out lol.

Ah babes I don't mean to push you off a cliff but I hope you're comfortable down there 😭

[ourfag]

and how to succeed in genderhood

hehehe @t4tgb asked for this one as well!!

this file is my workshop for everything relating to the transbians modern au i think ive mentioned once before on here. it’s a very long way from being written, if it ever does get written

in a lot of ways it’s a garden variety fluff piece with coffeeshop au sensibilities—everybody’s friends, interpersonal conflicts are trivial, one of the most important functions of this setting to me is creating a safe environment for ed to tumble into and gently get her egg cracked

not that it’s as simple for her as meeting a trans woman her age and going “oh why didn’t i think of that!” there’s a bit of push-and-pull she has to muddle through in terms of—actually let me just copy paste some of my thoughts on where her head is at before she comes out to herself:

With the culture Ed’s been surrounded by up until now, it’s been an easy assumption to make that Being A Man was another one of those things like swallowing live worms or playing bloody knuckles: getting yourself loaded up with as much acute misery as you can take and then parading it around like a trophy. “Look how much this pain doesn’t even bother me.”

The question, “But would you like to be seen as a woman?” draws out some tears because her approach to the image she projects has always always always been about its utility. Simply expressing herself without curating an image built around that utility is such an unfamiliar and bittersweet experience, and there’s a reason she’s spent most of her life not considering it a serious option.

she starts out with a bit of a blind spot about stede’s insecurities the same way her canon counterpart does, so there’s a period where she uses the way stede is So Obviously A Woman to her in order to kind of.. illustrate to herself why she So Obviously Isn’t, no matter how much she would like to be. and it’s not until stede Gets A Sense About Ed and starts gently sharing some of her earlier gender experiences For No Particular Reason that ed starts feeling more able to draw those connections to herself

i realize im making it sound like a really rough time but tbh it’s mostly abt watching star trek in your underpants and having tender lesbian sex. stede gets ed brainstorming potential name changes with her while she tries on flowery hats and ed is like “tbh i think the name bonnie really suits you but i can’t figure out why” and stede turns to ed and goes 😐 Bonnie Bonnet? and ed is like ohhh yeah thats why

(stede vacillates between a whole bunch of Traditionally Female names bc she feels like she Ought To Have One Of Those but her heart isnt really in it)

(she does eventually change her legal first name though)

(to Captain.)

[j2zara]

j3j4 time!!!!! director's commentary for the part starting with "He says it again" and ending with "there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?"

Oh my god i asked for this, didn't I? I'm gonna interrogate my deeply horny art. Sorry I put this off for so long but again i got a little embarrassed trying to analyze my own smut and needed to take a break. This is gonna get long winded. Please bear with me.

He says it again. His voice shaky. “Punish me.” A beat. “And why would I do that?” she asks, feigning naivety. “When you’re being so good for me.”

This is gonna sound funny but. I do think there is something to like. J4 actually being kinda bad at the reward/punishment framework of like a Scene b/c she's just ultimately too soft for J3. But to be fair, she is getting something she wants in this situation. He is articulating at least something about his wants to her.

And I've joked before that LJ3 is a little jaceporter coded in that there is a slightly less hostile version but still an undercurrent of "The only time you liked yourself is when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like". And in this moment (well, just prior) he's laughing, he's happy. She likes making J3 feel good, likes herself when she's doing it. She sees herself as too ugly on the inside otherwise, too unloveable and cruel and miserable. She wants to be a person, but she feels like she's getting how to be a person wrong, unless she's with him (and its her god given right to fuck up being a person, she knows this, but part of being a person is the hope that you're doing something of meaning and this? weirdly. Is the only time she feels like she's doing something of meaning)

Anyway. There's this weird dance the two of them are doing of J3 like refusing to articulate what he wants or only doing it in half truths and J4 trying to get him to speak and giving him what he wants but only to a certain extent also those wants conflict anyway. He wants a reward. He wants punishment. he wants EVERYTHING. Is J4 refusing to give him what he wants (punishment) part of their delayed gratification game? Or is it more important to satiate the initial expression of want from earlier (touch me). And obviously, she's doing it with the mage hand so. She's giving him what he wants but there's still that element of denial. That is part of the delayed gratification game, part of the punishment, but also part of her real and genuine boundaries. Her feelings are hurt in this moment, so maybe she's not ready to touch him just yet.

she has to bite back a pathetic moan of her own [...] because he moans her name so loudly, and it makes it sound real, she sounds real, like it’s something of meaning and not just a number—she’s been fighting to be real her whole life and he just willed it into existence, just like that.

Funny b/c i just made a post abt the Eurydice vibes i felt writing this scene. Anyway I know i was a total coward and didn't commit to the Electra-Ellie-El name for J4 in this bc. As much as I personally like it (and its an @neerdowellnarrator Esme Special so thank them) and use it interchangeably i'm always scared abt adding new shit to the lore... Mainly bc idk. I feel like I don't want my decisions to carry that much weight but im also terrified of my choices being rejected. I was so scared abt that with Bluejay as well. But like it seems like everyone has really taken to it so tbh i feel less weird abt it now. Thank u Esme, go pay ur respects to them.

That being said. The other reason i wanted to hold back i guess is. I really liked the idea of J3 imbuing the name "J4" with meaning even though it's just a number just because he wants her so much, he reveres her that much. The name J4 is not inherently meaninful but he imbues it with meaning. And like. Doubly so because that's not even her hand, its through use of a tool.

And there's something so... Unfair I guess. I loved the unfairness of it. Of someone else being the one to give J4 meaning. And it being so easy. Like. She wants to feel real. But she's fought so hard to be the person who determines her own life. She strives for personhood. And J3 doesn't have to fight. He just says it and she just feels real. And that's so unfair. She wanted to be the one to do that. But she'll take it. It's why she moans too. She wants it. She's used to being difficult to love. It feels so good in this moment to be wanted, special, loved—especially for being who she is, and not as an extension of anybody.

There's also the idea of like. The follower having power over the god. Putting a name to it. So that it is Borne into existence. Belief as a form of power.

And being in his head—no wonder he is the way he is, she pities him, the incessant loneliness is abated as he’s filled, as she pushes in deeper, all the other swimming thoughts are vanished completely, he simply wants someone to touch him, wants her to touch him, wants that hand to be hers so badly, in his head she’s right there with him—

There's so much like. J3 being like Jace, being like J2, wanting to amalgamate into one perfect being energy here to me. In the like. Being filled in a sexual way but also like also the. spiritual way i guess? I think thats the one thing that i can't picture J4 wanting that the the others secretly or not so secretly desire. Like. On some level they want someone, porter especially, to take over and like. ALmost live their life for them. Or Be with them always. They want that level of closeness and intimacy, and they maybe even want to abdicate their own responsibility. And. As exhausted as J4 is i do think she understands the appeal in that but she still would resist.

There's also J3 and his like. Use of touch and sex to like. Shortcut intimacy while also being terrified of vulnerability. As like. Connective tissue with Biggest Lie, J3 is always telling himself he doesn't need intimacy, he's better without it while also craving it so badly. And then being afraid to ask for it. So like. He wants to be touched, he wants to bridge a gap, he is so lonely and ignored all the time.

And this is part of a recurring thing of like. It's hard for J4 to tell if he wants her or wants someone. Most of the time, when we get in j3's head, there is a little bit of both and so im always leaving it ambiguous. However, I said this before, obviously ppl are free to read it as they like, but i do belief J4's self hatred makes her a bit of an unreliable narrator. Yes, there are thoughts of broad loneliness in j3's head, of wanting someone not just her, but as much as wanting someone vs. wanting her are both thoughts in j3's head, it usually ends up coming back to her. He wants intimacy, not just with anyone, but with J4. it's why he's always picturing her in his head when all he's getting is the mage hand.

She’s still slow, still teasing, she’s enjoying making him come undone and all without touching him, getting right into the rhythm she knows can make him keen like fucking animal, and then he does—it’s not quite the same, but she’s getting the hang of it, and he really needs to get out of her head, because she wants it, too. She wants it to be her. She wants to give him everything.

I think the like. J3 and J4 understanding each other really well thing is very present here. I call it Homophrosyne which was coined to refer to Penelope and Odysseus, when two people think alike. Like. There's the irony of J4 saying J3 should get out of her head when she's the one reading his mind. And her also craving intimacy with him.

I also think this is an LJ3 + Jaceporter parallel. J3 and Porter as people who are ravenous, they want everything. J4 and Jace as the person they truly want most of all yet are always looking past. You are all I want. You will never be enough. And that's where J4's doubt always comes in. How could she truly satiate someone who wants everything?

But the reversal could also be true. We could see J4 as Luxury Sex Object Prison Coded Porter. As a god who wants to bestow all the best onto her favorite worshipper. So he never has to want for anything else every again. (maybe in a way that is selfish on the part of the god. That way, they can truly monopolize the mind of their saint. Be the only thing they will ever need)

Like what you see? he asks, mouth slightly agape as he makes eye contact with her—the intensity of it knocking the wind out of her. Somehow even when he submits, the pull he has on her, it’s unreal. Not a message. A thought. “Yes…” she breathes before she can help herself. Dawning horror, and then, “Do—Do you want me out of your head? “Nah. I like being double-penetrated.” [...]“You are such a freak,” says J4, but she can brave running her nails along the underside of his thigh. He notices, too, gasps.

Again this is like. Calling attention to the IYWD thing of like. The relationship between god and follower being a two way street. The follower has power over the god just like the god has power over the follower. The person submitting having power over the one in control. Which is very like. J4 kryptonite. She wants to have control over her own life, and when she's with J3 she feels weak, not in control, like his mere existence has power over her.

Again, I think there's like. More homophrosyne, or J3 understanding J4. In that he knew that J4 was using detect thoughts on him the whole time. And J4's reaction being. Like. She truly does believe in personal autonomy, so she does feel terrible and guilty about this violation that she was willing to commit. (A violation that is. To take. To invade. Something she is afraid aligns herself with porter, with everything she hates)

And. Ok. I do think the DP joke is funny. Like. I will give myself that. I'm silly but i do think it's clever. This does kinda go in line with my like. I love when J3 is filthy but in my mind he's also the funniest clone and this kinda goes with that. But also, he's not lying. J3 seeks out everything. He is into everything. He wants it all before he goes. And as much as he gets off on being told he's gross and disgusting and he can make jokes about it, a part of him is truly worried those desires are too dark, too unpalatable, they make him too unlovable. J4 does affirm he is a freak as lot, like, half joking, but to me that's not condemnation. It's like. instead of being like "oh no don't worry you're so normal <3" it's like. I love you amidst all your flaws. Because of them. You don't need to be perfect. You are a perverse, but there is nothing wrong with being perverse.

“Would it make you smug if I said you do this better than He does?” “Maybe a little.”  The best part? She knows he means it, too. She'll do anything for him after this.

Listen. I love when LJ3 is good for each other but i love when they're a little bit fucked up. Like. The ambiguity of whether they can escape the narrative!!! They should be able to exist on their own terms!!! They willed this, they chose this, they want each other intentionally, but also. This is such a tie-in to Biggest Lie as well. Because in that, J3 gets off on the idea that Porter thinks he's better than Jace. And here, J4 gets off on the idea that she's better than Porter. Like. It always has to come back to invoking jaceporter. They get off on the idea of transcending their creators, but is that true escape? For them to always be tethered to Jaceporter?

There's also this like. Thing about. Porter wanting to be the center of Jace's world. Remaking jace in his image. Wanting to be Jace's one and only. And is this instinct, this desire for J4, to dominate J3's mind, monopolize it, be the only one for him. Is it Of Porter?

Gonna skip some of the stuff that's just plainly horny that i don't have much commentary on... I will say, her kissing the corner of his mouth and finally getting him off is like. AFTER the "Being better than Porter" confession which is so funny like it takes that for them to broach the intimacy. For her to fulfill her desire and give him what he wants. And like. Nice? Or fucked up? who is to say.

“Come on then,” says J4, flashing him a wink over her shoulder before turning away again. She beckons him forward with the Mage Hand as a final act before it is dispelled. Once in the bedroom, she lays herself upon her master’s comforter, her legs spread. Waiting. The creak of the door being pushed open tells her that J3 is quick to follow her, and J4 smiles to herself. Then he’s on the bed, and the sight of him on his knees, crawling toward her makes her heart skip a beat. She likes to think of herself as the kind of person who takes action, but there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?

I do like J4 reclaiming a bit of her power here. Like I know she's femdomming for a lot of this but i feel like in her mind she very much perceives herself to be on the backfoot. The wink feels like a moment where she is truly confident.

But also! The willing reversal! J4 usually being the one to act, to take control, and that's seen as an act of power in most ways, but also, it's to perform labor for someone else. The person who commands the attention, who doesn't even have to lift a finger. Do they not have power in their way? And J4 is exhausted. And she wants to be the one to will her own destiny. But that means she's always the one doing the work. Like she has to fight to have her personhood even recognized. And maybe. A part of her wants to be loved simply for who she is.

And so. In this, she wants to be pursued! Especially after so long feeling like a second choice, feeling abandoned when J3 left her for Porter. She's used to him running, returning. Very Orphydice / Persephades. Very Eurydice joining Hades in the underworld.

("Whatever happened. I'm to blame" / "no!" / "You called my name" / "You came!")

She gets to be the god, the one who is worshipped instead of the worshipper. Instead of the sacrifice. (Mr. Hades is a mighty king... seems like he owns everything / kinda makes you wonder how it feels).

On a personal note. I want that for her so bad. She deserves it. She deserves to be pursued. Loved for who she is. But also. J4 wants to be her own person so badly. And yet isn't the desire to be pursued, to be chased? Isn't that so unabashedly Of Jace? Here they are, defying the narrative. Carving out their own future. But are they? Have they transcended the Starbreaker Pantheon? Or are they doomed to repeat the cycle? Are they going to make it?

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do" / "well listen, brother / if you wanna walk out of hell / you're gonna have to prove it before gods and men / can you do that?" / "We can" / "a'ight! Time to go" / "Mr. Hermes?" / "Yes?" / "Its not at trick?" / "No. / It's a test")

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do")

[iinryer]

If you could come up with the storylines for each Lone Star character (not Owen) for the next season, what would they be?

OH THIS IS A GOOD ONE… (not owen) made me laugh thank you. this didn’t end up being Quite what you asked but here are my hopes for s5!:

marjan is easy: comphet realization to lesbian arc. I don’t even need them to give her a gf i just want them to Address The Closeted Lesbianism they’ve been handing me over the past four seasons. i want salim to come back (in person or in conversation) for the rule of threes and have it force her to reckon with a lot of assumptions she had about herself. im on my hands and knees about it. I’ve been rewatching with a friend recently and i fucking forgot that they have her say a line about how her favorite place to hide as a kid was the closet. remember those new bts photos where she’s basically wearing the lesbian flag as a headscarf. lone star writers room i am IN YOUR WALLS. also i want to meet her sister. i need someone to call her mouse

nancy my beloved… honestly i just really want a nancy begins episode!! i want to know why she became a paramedic, i want to know about her relationship with her sister and if there’s any particular reason it was a soft spot for her during the DNR episode… I don’t have any particular ideas for specific i just want to know more about her!!! actually I’d love her to have to confront Tim’s death a little more directly. they made that whole thing about Owen which is fucking crazy to me, I’d love for the next time TK gets hurt (lol) for it to be something that dredges that up for her.

grace… miss grace i want to see you angry again. no plot line in mind i just like it when she’s pretending she doesn’t get angry or stubborn, she is such a fascinating character study. i love when she’s a contradiction. she and carlos teaming up was one of my favorite things abt s3, i would be so jazzed to see more things of that flavor.

tommy. hm… I don’t think I have any particular storylines for her in mind but I want more of her and grace and judd together because they are so delightful and lovely and best friends. OH ACTUALLY. I want something with tommy and charlie. this baby that was named in honor of the late love of her life. o don’t know what that story would be but there’s something there for sure…

carlos is the same as nancy tbh, I want a real full carlos begins! I want to meet his sisters! I want to see more of the mess that was growing up gay and feeling out of place and trying to be what your dad would want even though he thinks you’re too soft for it. why did he do it anyways! I also would love to see him and his mom being more involved, partially because obviously they had a horrible loss and trauma and she saw it happen but also because I love andrea:) she’s everything 2 me

judd I have been waiting for them to make you captain since SEASON THREE!! i want owen to retire and i want them to expand on the tension we got for the period he was captain!! i want to see how the dynamic changes and how his past issues come up when he’s in charge For Good. i want to see him get emotional about it and i want him to be captain while wyatt is his probie if they put him back on the firefighter track after his recovery :) bc that would be fun conflict and i think everything they did with owen (traumatically lost whole crew, son on your team) would be 100x better with judd

mateo is also a difficult one for specifics. I feel like they’re relatively fair with him? even with the low screentime all the secondary characters are relegated to. I’d be interested in seeing more fallout about his cousin, and I LOVED what they did with him and captain tatum so anything of that flavor of earnestness from him is always so good. maybe he and tatum will be buddies off the clock :)

tk getting hurt in increasingly absurd ways is always a classic that I look forward to them playing into lol

misc: i want to see more big brother wyatt with charlie getting a little older, i want less owen solo-plotlines, more ghost/memory gwyn i love her, carlos with his curls, the vega twins being involved in something maybe? that would be fun and stressful gjfhdhf

EDIT: OH MY GOD I FORGOT PAUL. I ABANDONED MY BOY. ok paul deserves literally any kind of robust plotline. Paul begins for starters, but also so much of his trans plotlines feel a little fumbled. I want a really earnest well done episode that isn’t necessarily About him being trans, but his transness is a factor and it’s handled in a really genuinely good and relatable way. they OWE HIM AND US THAT!! i also would love to see more of the gay kids being in gay spaces :)

[housesitting & snowed in send enrichment to my enclosure]